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mittenskittensslay · 10 months ago

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Hi!

I'm doing a project for school, and I need to have some stories from real people to back up my point. My topic is representation in media and how it affects mental health. I was wondering if you had any stories about a movie/show that has helped your mental health or educated you on something? I know media and representation have really helped me to figure myself out and made me feel seen, so I wanted to do this topic because of that. I really need more stories from real people, so I'm asking people online and hoping some of them reply lol. Thank you!

Wow, thanks for asking me! When is your project due? I don't know when it is but I hope I replied fast enough and I hope this helps you! :D

Well, for me personally, the way The Owl House handles neurodiversity, and LGBTQ2S+, and disability is an eye-opening experience because it was previously unseen to this extent! Notable examples are all how all the characters are shown as no less! They don't have to be "normal" or fit in! What is normal, anyway? They're celebrated and valued for being wholeheartedly, shamelessly, and unapologetically their amazing, authentic selves! No matter who you are, you're valid, there's no normal and it's not frowned upon! The manner in which they're portrayed, they're so well written and that has helped people understand that they're actually neurodiverse, or LGBTQ2S+, has helped them reach out to others and seek for help when needed, myself included!

Luz struggles to fit in on Earth and Eda as well as King, Hooty, and the Collector have a hard time belonging on the Boiling Isles. However, by being open and accepting, they realize that "us weirdos gotta stick together!" to quote the Owl Lady, which is one of the pivotal, if not the main message of this show which is "You gotta be your own witch!" Also how "magic (literally) comes from the heart" it's one of the endless reasons why I love the Owl House so much and my love for it will never die.

The Owl House has allowed me to embrace myself, love myself wholeheartedly and practice more self-care. It's helped me come out of my shell and make friends thanks to the treasure it is that we fans cherish and its beautiful fandom that lets us form profound bonds by sharing this deep love and creating our own fan arts and fan fics. Luz teaches us and helps us, reminds us to be even more vulnerable, and spread sunshine and joy, love, goodness and kindness everywhere we go, to go with all our heart wherever we go! I love myself for being autistic and a genderfluid aroace lesbian even more now thanks to them. This cartoon has even aided me in realzing my sexuality and neurodiversity.

Look, kid, everyone wants to believe they're "chosen". But if we all waited around for a prophecy to make us special, we'd die waiting. And that's why you need to choose yourself." - Eda Clawthorne

"You know, you can't hide from your fears forever, which is why you've gotta get the jump on them. Give 'em a whack right in the face." - Eda Clawthorne

Please, do yourself a favor. Never hide. I've been different than others around me all my life and will proudly continue to do so, wearing it as a badge of honor because if you don't then you insult yourself, you don't live with integrity. Easier said than done but you've got to because if you're not you, then who are you? Never let the haters get you down. I relate to Luz and the others as being a proud outsider who found friends and found family also! Imagine if Luz and the others conformed. I have always found it difficult to be who I am, it doesn't always come out but Luz is so inspiring she's so herself, unique, and spontaneous in everything, makes us accept ourselves and that way I have never been happier to be me, you feel connection to the characters: they represent you, they're others just like you: this is a part of you and I love every part of you. Break free from toxicity and recognize it. Being understood is one of the best feelings. Eda accepting her curse has allowed me to accept every part of myself. It show people that LGBTQ2S+ exists and there's no need to be afraid. Change your life, you're not a tree that's stuck, find your tribe. Keeping things in is self destructive. "Does it have to be perfect?" like the most powerful witch of the Boiling Isles says again. True friendship is also shown, being there for each other. This show also tells us that we make the labels for ourselves, we define. It's how you feel, not trying to fit in the mold, you don't need to meet every single thing on a checklist or match all criteria. The labels are what they are precisely because every beautiful individual adds their own meaning and flavor to it.

Basically, to sum it all up, it portrays neurodiverse and LGBTQ2S+ folks accurately and most importantly in a way that people can relate to and feel good about themselves. For example, for me personally, it helped me open up more, embracing and expressing my true and best self, every day we get better and better. We become more social and actually truly connect with others deeply due to our shared love for the owl house which is usually hard for me to do as a high-functioning, self-advocating, and self-diagnosed autistic (or Aspie, though I don't use this label now since its no longer in use). It shatters stigma and stereotypes. It's simply groundbreaking. With love, and support, found friends, and family both biological and found, you can thrive, not just survive, and be loved, and accepted for exactly who you are nothing lees you're just weird enough to be the awesome you that you are. These and countless others are the feel good messages of this show.

Of course this essay wouldn't be complete if I didn't mention Amity Blight! Almost everyone in the Owl House undergoes key character development and their life as they know it changes in the best possible way, no less than thanks to Luz Noceda, which is an astonishingly beautiful thing but I believe I can safely speak for many, if not all of us (also yours truly), when I say that Amity undergoes the most amazing and impressive character development I've ever seen so far! Goes without saying! She starts off being seen as a bully when in fact it is later revealed she never was. It's never taken for granted that Luz with the sunshine she is and spreads selflessly everywhere, helped Amity rediscover her true self. Amity understands and goes on a journey or self improvement. If that's not inspiring, then I don't know what it and I'm not exaggerating here! Amity does a lot of self work, recognised her mistakes and attempts to become a better friend to Luz pretty quickly.

Hm, I wonder if when Luz said, "I'm not a witch but I'm training hard to be one." and showed Amity the ball of light emerging from the light glyph, she was speaking to her essence and broke through/got through to her!

And then, when Amity said "remember to turn on the light" to Luz and saved her in WAD, she woke her up bc she reminded her that Luz is light, literally!

Luz helps Amity remember who she really is, to return to her true self, who she always has been deep down, not just sb trying to achieve ultimate status and Amity helps Luz remember that she's the light of everyone's life! To continue to be who they really are! They saw through each other! I think they also literally became each other - Amity became Luz's light and Luz was suffering with the same issues as Amity, thinking that she ruined everyone's lives which was definitely not true in both cases! Neither Luz nor Amity ruined everyone's lives, ofc! It was the complete opposite! And they did what one did for the other as I said above but reversed!

Bc Amity and Luz are essentially the same -both so positive, carefree (maybe not always but eventually and unafraid to be themselves), dorky, nerdy goofballs who are so kind and sweet and powerful and so much more and full of love! (But also different in their own unique way)!

Love and kindness always win in the end and we have them inside us! We are love and kindness themselves! We just need to give each other a chance!

Luz, Raine, Masha, The Collector, King, Papa Titan, Amity, Hunter, and basically everyone is probably on the spectrum so hats off to everyone and them. Eda helped me confirm my gayness, something I was already aware of before the Owl House. Same goes for the characters mentioned above: Luz as genderfluid; Raine, Masha and The Collector non-binary; Papa Titan as probably non-binary/agender genderfluid? (Feel free to correct me, sorry if I'm wrong)! Vee also (however, I don't think the creators have canonically confirmed whether she's/they're envy or demigirl or something similar but I'm assuming this headcanon respectfully and again, if I'm wrong, please feel free to correct me and educate me because I believe we're all always stil learning! However, again because people are allowed to be truly themselves - as it should be -and not marginalized and hiding for that, we can thrive. I understood that I can actually be attracted to women (I already knew that before, I believe I even had a type already, Eda basically confirmed that or the feelings around that time just happened to coincidentally appear and feel more real not because necessarily because of their frequency and intensity because you can still be attracted to someone even if the attraction isn't always there and strong (hence my aroace label) whether it's frequent and or not intense. Aroace folks can feel or not feel love and attraction and want or not want a relationship and sometimes I have felt not wanting that but it's always very brief, I do want love, I'm too much of a hopeless romantic at heart not too! I also already knew i was genderfluid. I'm a cis woman, I've always mainly identified as a woman but I'm more than just that "label": its doesn't define me fully. It's broad and vague so I feel it fluctuates. I can be and express myself as any gender: no gender, both genders - its never fixed. Before however I always knew I wasn't straight but I wasn't sure if i was LGBTQ2S+. I used to think I was demi sexual, panromantic but it's exactly why all kinds of representation is vital! It's ok to be a late bloomer but if this cartoon existed earlier it would have helped. Dana Terrace herself claimed to be a late bloomer also. Speaking of which, a huge thank you to her and her crew for creating the Owl House! They changed our lives forever in the best possible way! The connection and love between us fans, whether casual viewers or die hard fans will always be priceless: this show means everything to me and always will!

There's a lot more that can be covered but the essay would go on far too long and I don't know the word limit for your project but I hope this is enough!

This is an awesome post I found Life lessons from TOH

#Helping out a mewtual with school project #You're welcome #hun! 😁🤗💕xo #Coming back to this post a few hours later #I hope I expanded enough on the points I made in the essay #Let me know if it requires more details and/or if you need any further help #Please don't hesitate to ask me 😊#Made some changes and added some further points #Couldn't resist 😜#Got more brain waves and just had to add more stuff!#I'll probably come back with more points later XD but feel free to use this #If you want #As it already is!

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viennahqz · 1 year ago

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laura harrier. 30. cis female. she/her. » there’s vienna hughes who’s been living in ashford for her whole life. the icarus currently works as the owner of crumble & co bakery and they’re known for being empathetic but also impulsive at times. rumor around town is that she feels like people only see her for her failed marriage. i overheard they approve of the changes happening in ashford because it will be nice to get a new mix of people in town. - penned by bee | EST | 26 // @ashford-extra

{ tw: mention of parental death }

aesthetics: having a big heart despite it all, refusing to let others make her hard, always having flower on her clothes and dough under her nails, asking hard questions over coffee, an oversized flannel over something small and lacy, sacrificing everything for family, keeping her passions close to her chest but all of her emotions on her sleeves...

Vienna as always called Ashford home and has never really considered changing that.

Her family has been here for generations so everywhere she looks she sees parts of them.

The Crumble & Co Bakery has been in her family since they settled roots here and she spent her entire life with her hands covered in floor.

Her dad passed when she was really young, before solid memories really began to form so her and her mom were always best friends and with her mom passing last year destroyed her world.

As she always knew it would be, Crumble & Co has been passed to her. There was never really another path for her even if baking isn't her passion, continuing her family's legacy is so important to her

As much as she loves Ashford the only time she's ever considered leaving is after her divorce, but she's not a runner and she knows that.

Her and her ex husband got married was she was pretty young, only 22, because Vienna rarely stops to question her hearts decisions and she loves big and loves to give people the benefit of the doubt and has never met a red flag she couldn't love

Unfortunately you can't love someone into being a good partner if they aren't the right partner for you and you cant love someone into doing the work they need to on themselves so the marriage turned volatile pretty quick

Despite being short lived, it still haunts her. Not only does she have to see him regularly in such a small town, but this feels like the ultimate failure. How do you trust yourself after something life this? As someone who makes almost every decision off of gut feeling, what do you do when your gut lead you so wrong

She loves music, her dad was a musician and listening to his old recordings was how she felt any sort of connection and closeness to him and she started playing guitar as soon as she was old enough to hold the ones he left for her. Her real dream is to make music but the family bakery always has to come first in her mind.

Still when she has time to herself all she does is write and play, very few people actually know this about her because its something that is so personal and so raw

Vienna is very good at getting to the root of people and isn't afraid to ask revealing questions of people. Personally she's not too fond of small talk so she will quickly skip past that. Many people would describe her energy as a safe space.

Despite being really good at getting others to be vulnerable, its something she struggles with herself. She does that thing where she offers up just enough curated vulnerability that people think they really know her, but she keeps a lot of the heavy topics close chest

She loves love and doesn't let her romantic failures stop her from trying but she has found it hard to fully open herself up in a way that leads to long lasting relationships. Almost like she really wants love but is afraid of accepting it because that gives the other person more power over her than she's comfortable with.

#ashford.intro #this is a work in progress I will probably add more later

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ruminate88 · 1 year ago

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Forgiving Your Enemies:

You MUST forgive people because it’s freeing to your life and it’s healthy to your heart and mind. It gives your mind space to focus on better things. You won’t always get the opportunity to forgive people to their faces and some times it’s safer to stay away from folks whom you’re aware they can only harm you. You can still forgive them in your heart!

I heard a youth pastor say one time how his father abandoned him as a child and he grew up holding hard feelings towards his dad but it always affected his life negatively. This pastor learned he had to forgive his father even though he never got to see him face to face. Once he forgave his father, he felt released from the hurt and disappointment. He felt as if he could start his life over with a clean start.

Forgiving someone in your heart, is choosing to accept the situation and then let it go. Stop carrying it with you everywhere and instead of harboring negative feelings towards that person, choose to just say “what happened is in the past and it’s over, can’t change it.” Let that person make mistakes and remind yourself you also make mistakes. If that person never changes and can only hurt you, don’t let them back in but pray for them to do better. Hope for their well-being. Seeking revenge only puts you down at their level. Be the bigger person and just live your best life with hope and peace. Don’t create drama against that person or continue to dwell on everything wrong that happened between you two.

I can only write this blog NOW because I myself am just now in a place where I understand forgiveness a little better and I’m learning to forgive people that hurt me. My ex Andrew was a narcissist and he used me, lied to me, cheated on me and broke me down in ways I was isolating myself and becoming a very cold person. Andrew almost stole all the love I had.. Took me years to understand him, the situation, I faced a lot of anger and bitterness but NOW I’m finally coming to a healthier mindset towards him. I’m praying for him more and trying to have more compassion for him.

You’re never gonna perfectly love every one on this earth and you’ll still make mistakes. It’s learning from your mistakes that is helpful to your future and your relationships. Forgiving someone is setting yourself free and allowing them room to grow too. If you constantly beat them up and hold the past over their heads, that’s as bad as whatever they did to you. I know it took me years to get here. Just a month or so ago I was struggling to get over how angry and frustrating my ex made me. He’s human though and I should feel sorry for him, be the bigger person and hope better for his life. I should want him to be healthy and happy!!! ❤️‍🩹 (even if he never would want the same for me, Jesus help us all please!)

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justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms · 1 year ago

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Hi! It’s been a while since I last asked & I loved your matchups for me! I was wondering if I could get a HSR, Genshin, & Mystic Messenger match-up? Thank you! I hope your day is well. ♥️

Rion, they/them, demiromantic nonbinary, omni aroace-spec. ENTP 1w2. Virgo. I have a red shaggy mullet that’s often in a sloppy ponytail. I’m midsized at 156cm / 5’1ft. I have freckles & cool-coloured hazel eyes. I have a lot of scars everywhere, some self inflicted, some random nicks, some from accidents as a kid.

I’m rather quiet unless with friends, which then I can get pretty loud & energetic. I have a somewhat intimidating resting face and can come across as apathetic. I laugh like a hyena witch. I’m very open-minded and try to be accepting of everyone & everything as long as they’re not intentionally hurting anyone. I’m incredibly stubborn which can cause me to isolate. I fear being a bother/nuisance to those around me.

My humour is dry & sarcastic, and sometimes a little too dark. I’d do anything for those close to me, but I’m also not one to hold my tongue when someone’s upset me. I struggle with affection, whether giving or receiving. I used to be pretty awful when I was younger and I ended up hurting a lot of people. I’ve come a long way from there now.

I enjoy dancing, writing, photography, and drawing/painting. My favourite animal is a snake though I feel most represented by owls. My favourite colour is gold. I love chicken lo mein. I enjoy psychological horror, criminology, lore heavy medias, and genetics. I struggle with sensory issues & emotional empathy.

Hi Rion! I'm so glad you liked your last matchup. Thank you for your request! Sorry it took a while. I hope you like your matchups!

In Honkai Star Rail, I match you with...

March matches your energy well. She’s naturally more outgoing than you but she has her quiet moments as well.

She’s a very affectionate person but appreciates that you struggle with that. She’ll take it slow and get you used to small displays of affection before gradually increasing it.

March loves it when you laugh! It’s her life goal to make you laugh at least once every day. She finds your laugh very contagious as well, so once you start laughing, expect March to join in soon after.

Please be open with her about your worries regarding being a bother. March never finds you annoying so she’ll do her best to comfort you and reassure you that you aren’t a bother.

Really good at helping you with your sensory issues. She remembers everything that triggers them and will do her best to help you avoid those things.

In Genshin Impact, I match you with...

Kaeya’s another one who is good at helping you with your sensory issues. He doesn’t really struggle with that (have you seen all the different sensations that his outfit would produce) but he’s surprisingly empathetic.

He’s appreciative of your honesty. Kaeya struggles with honesty so just be patient with him. He wants to be open with you, it just might take him a while.

If you’re okay with it, Kaeya enjoys running his fingers over your scars. He finds it soothing and it’s his way of saying he’s glad you’re here with him and that he’s there for you.

I see Kaeya as someone who appreciates photography. He’s really good at posing casually so if you want to take photos of him, just let him know.

The only time you will hear Kaeya genuinely laugh is when he hears you laugh. Usually, he gives a chuckle or a sarcastic laugh but when you’re alone and he hears you laughing, an honest laugh will burst through.

In Mystic Messenger, I match you with...

Photography buddies! V absolutely loves that he gets to share his main hobby with you.

His favourite dates are the ones where you both take your respective methods of taking photographs with you and compare your photos when you get home.

He’s a very creatively minded person so expect him to give you little pieces of artwork that he’s worked on. These vary from candid photos of you, to gold necklaces in the shape of owls and snakes, to little sketches.

You can see the love and attention that has gone into every gift he gives you. If you return the favour, you can be sure V is putting your gift somewhere where he can appreciate it every day.

V will help you with your emotional empathy. He’s got a lot of trauma so he struggles with empathy sometimes, he’s just good at hiding it. You can work on it together.

#writing #fanfic #matchup #matchup request #request #honkai star rail #march 7th #genshin impact #kaeya #mystic messenger #v #jihyun kim

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pokkomi · 1 year ago

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✦ sfw alphabet - kurona ranze

gn!reader, fluff, lotsa hc :3, 1.7k wc

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

pretty affectionate. he would definitely be a little shy around you at first, but once he’s comfortable around you, he wouldn’t hesitate to give you a hug or a kiss on your cheek!

his love language is acts of service + words of affirmation. he’s definitely the gentlemanly type, holding doors open for you and carrying your shopping bags or simply helping you wash the dishes. kurona probably can’t go a day without saying ‘i love you’ at least 3 times. he wants you to know how important you are to him.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

would be the type to always help you out. struggling with your homework? he’s got you. kurona definitely carries some kind of snack with him everywhere, and after meeting you, he always brings an extra. i feel like he would also give out great advices as a friend. possibly biased towards you, but still logical and rational.

i would imagine the friendship starting out as classmates, eventually warming up to each other after a class project. definitely super quiet, having you initiate all the conversations.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

he’s a fan of physical touch. would never refuse an offer from you, but would be a bit shy to initiate it.

kurona’s not very tall, standing at 1.68m. i think he wouldn’t mind being the big spoon or the small spoon. as long as he’s with you, it’s all perfect. he likes being intimate with you, so i think positions he’d enjoy are: leg hug, embrace, head on lap, and half-spoon.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

kurona doesn’t strike me as the type to date for fun. i think that every relationship he gets into are definitely looking to last.

not messy, but not a tidy freak. kurona’s room is definitely organized, with a few clothing items scattered on his bed/the back of his chair. probably cleans to relieve stress. when he’s feeling nervous or just bored, he’d probably tidy the house a bit.

can cook. whether if it’s edible is another question. probably burned water while trying to make instant cup noodles💀. when you come over to his place, he either makes instant noodles or attempts to find snacks lying around LMAO.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

i think kurona would break up with you in person. maybe ask you to meet up somewhere and tell you its just not working out. he tries to be as gentle as possible, not wanting to hurt your feelings more than necessary.

probably would pull the ‘it’s not you it’s me’ line💀.

unless it’s something seriously wrong like cheating, i think he would want to end it on a good note. maybe even go back to being friends if it’s mild.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

committed to you since day 1!!! i don’t think he’d accept a relationship out of pity or for fun, so if you guys are dating, he is serious about it.

if your relationship started in your school years, then maybe he’d bring up marriage in your mid 20s. if the relationship started in your early 20s, he might propose in your late 20s or early 30s.

tldr he def wants to get married and would pop he question in around 5~7 years.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

gentle all the way; both physically and emotionally

always careful around you, not wanting to accidentally hurt you 3:

i think he’s one of the very few bllk characters thats mentally and emotionally stable💀

wouldn’t let his emotions take the best of him, but when it comes to you he can’t help it :3

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

kurona love love LOVES hugs. it’s one of his main ways of expressing his love for you.

he hugs you a LOT. just came home from school? how about a hug to replenish your energy!

if its casual, he’ll sneak a back hug as soon as your back is turned to him. he enjoys nuzzling against your neck while doing so! if you two haven’t seen each other in a long time, the hugs are definitely gonna be long and warm.

probably also nibbles on your skin while hugging!!

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

pretty average timing i would say.

even when you guys were still friends, he often reassured you that he loves you.

he likes to show you subtle displays of affection, and words of affirmations are one of them.

during your relationship, kurona makes sure to say these words to you at least 5 times per day!

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

not a very jealous person. he trusts that you know your own boundaries. Although even then, he gets a little snippy whenever some dude comes too close. when that happens, he usually frowns or bares his teeth a little and the npc just scurries away LMAO.

would still be a little upset afterwards and asks you for hugs and kisses!!

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

kurona’s kisses are soft, maybe a little nibble here and there, but he always make sure to be gentle with you

he likes to kiss you on your cheeks and lips, munches on your cheeks sometimes

neck too if you’re both up for it!! i think he’d like to kiss your shoulder from behind as well ( ´ ꒳ ` )

i think he’d enjoy nose and forehead kisses, especially when you cup your hands on his cheeks while doing so :3

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

pretty used hc but kids are scared of him because of his predator-like teeth

but when they get used to it, the kids warm up to him pretty quickly

as for kurona, i think he would like quiet children. would feel overwhelmed with an over energetic child

probably wouldn’t know what to do with a child to be honest

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

kurona is NOT a morning person at all. if you’re a morning person, he’d probably try his best to wake up earlier to spend more time with you

but if you’re not a morning person either, you would probably spend a good hour in each others arms after waking up

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

super relaxing and calming

if neither of you are talkative people, you’d simply enjoy each other’s presence in bed

kurona would be the type of person who happily listens to you ramble about anything and eventually drift into sleep to your gentle voice

would video / voice call you if you aren’t living together. falls asleep with his camera on pretty often. if you fall asleep first, he’d watch you sleep for a few minutes and then hang up

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

i think it would take a while for him to open up

there’s not really much for him to tell, but deep dark secrets would take an immense amount of trust to tell

would start off with telling you about his family and what he likes, but that’s it.

probably scared that you’ll think he’s weird if he told you about childhood incidents

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

i would think that he’s a very patient person. wouldn’t get angry unless someone close to him gets hurt by another person

when someones being rude or nasty, he just ignores them

when he gets angry, you can probably see steam shooting out of his ears LMAO

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

would definitely remember important dates like anniversaries and birthdays, but he sometimes forgets things like your favourite order from your favourite restaurant

he strikes me as a person that remembers small details like you always packing candies in your bag before going out or how you always put on lip balm at night to avoid crusty lips in the morning

but he forgets obvious things a lot, like your favourite artist or your favourite manga 3:

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

birthdays!! whether it’s yours or his, he would love to spend your special day together. prepares very thoroughly beforehand to surprise you :3

probably the first date as well. always get shy whenever he reminisces the memory!!

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

not SUPER protective. he trusts that you can remove yourself from harmful situations. but he still makes sure that you’re all prepared before going out.

if you got hit on by a dude, he would definitely step in and make it clear that you’re taken. holds your hand during the process.

i think kurona would like to be protected as well, it makes him feel reassured that you care for him.

maybe swoop him to safety like superman :3

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

for dates, anniversaries, and gifts, kurona would be very thoughtful in picking the best scenario for you. he wants to make sure that every gift he gives are meaningful! each anniversary with him is romantic and different. probably spent weeks prior planning out everything so you’d like it. i think that for dates, kurona is more simple and casual. still puts in effort so both of you can have a good time but just not as much. after all, your dates can range from crashing at each other’s places to a whole ass day trip exploring the city.

for menial tasks such as housework, kurona would be very careful and attentive. make sures that your living area is dust-free after a deep clean.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

he chews on his nails a lot, especially when he’s nervous or stressed. tries not to do it as much ever since you pointed out that his nails were a lil crusty.

also forgets things a lot.

"have you seen my water bottle?? i can't find it"

"ranze, you put it in your backpack like 5 minutes ago"

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

not super concerned. he doesn’t think he’s super good looking or anything but he make sures that he’s dressed up before he meets you everytime.

takes the time to do his braids to look the best for you!

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

yes and no

i don’t think kurona views a relationship as something that makes him complete.

if you never went out with him, he wouldn’t have known what it would’ve been like.

but now that you’re by his side, kurona would say that he’d prefer it if you stay with him for the rest of your lives.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

doesn’t really like vegetables so whenever theres something he doesn’t like in his plate, such as green peppers, he’d pass it on to yours.

the green pepper theory :3

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

distrustful + insecure people!! he wouldn’t want to be with someone who’s constantly insecure about your relationship. if you’re always asking him where he’s going or who he’ll be with, he’ll get uncomfortable quickly. also doesn’t like being doubted. if you interrogate him after he goes out alone/with friends, he’ll lose his patience with you.

unkind words + refusing physical affection. if you constantly berate him, he’ll get hurt easily. also doesn’t like it when you refuse his touch for long periods of time.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

probably drools in his sleep😭. mouth wide open LMAO. snores a tiny bit, super quiet.

this might just be me but i feel like he often wakes up at night to get a drink :3

#r10 #blue lock #bllk #bllk x reader #kurona ranze #kurona x reader #kurona ranze x reader #i heart kurona ranze #kurona stans feeding on the same fics for a month straight core

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powerofwords2017 · 2 years ago

Text

Love Letter To My Lost Lover

I hope you’re doing well

That all is well

That the wishes of wishing you well

Turned out well

I hope you remember me

The conversations we had

That I can’t seem to let go of no matter

What I do I can’t seem to shake you

I hope you still find it in your consciousness

To trust me the way you said you felt you could

I hope you know I still replay what you said

“I feel like I owe you this because you’ve been

Patient with me”

No man has ever recognized until it was too late

Truth is you don’t owe me anything

The expectations I had for you was

So foreign that last night I actually

Thought of you telling me you loved me back

That if felt real

It felt like it could happen

I don’t write much about you these days

Life seems to take me on adventures

Without you yet I feel your spirit everywhere

I stopped talking about you to those around me

Because I think it makes me seem insane

I drove near your place the other day

But I was too afraid to look your way

Couldn’t muster up the courage to text you

So afraid of rejection that it’s crippling

And I know you probably thought

You laid it all out on the line that night

We went to dinner

That was the last time we saw each other

I was so caught in the fantasy of you and I

That I didn’t get to think and realize

We were in an actual desired moment of mine

While the news you gave I found hard to accept

We shared many moments together

I felt you slipping from my grip

In the recent days it was as if

The closer I got to you the further you ran

I never had intentions to hurt you

If only you knew the truth of how I felt

You weren’t just another man to me

In my mind, my heart, my soul, my spirit

You were the one for me

The one sent to make me believe again

The one I would be faithful to

The one I can live my dreams out with

To this day I still struggling accepting

That maybe, just maybe

It was not meant to be that somehow

The one man I fell for without physicality

Was not the one destined for me

that all these feelings and healing

Would go to waste

Or be used for another man’s plate

You’ve got to give me some time to wrap my mind

Around the fact that maybe it was all made up

Another fairytale for best selling books

How I made a home without love

Without you

It makes no real sense to me

Why the universe would tease me in such ways

But I hope you know I think you’re a star too

That I think that even in darkness you shine

That I know rough days you had

That I felt when you were down

That I noticed how you picked your head up

That I noticed how your swag changed

That I noticed every detail

Heard everything you ever said to me

That I didn’t want to give up on you

I saw the sparkle in your eye once

What could’ve been

That even thought we haven’t talked in 4 months

I still cry when I think of the love I had for you

How it transformed me

I don’t do what I use to

I don’t see another woman and think she’s better

For you now I think of what we had

More like misplaced love

Right person wrong timing type shit

Real romance forbidden love

If you and I were ever a thing

It would make me happy

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publiususa · 2 years ago

Text

Federalist 2023 Essay #3 - Allocating Federal Taxpayer Money Back To The People

“We choose to go to the Moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard; because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one we intend to win, and the others, too.” - John F. Kennedy

In our previous messages, we explored potential paths to reducing violence, giving our elected officials the freedom to lead and making federal politicians stewards of the people instead of career politicians.

Now we tackle the largest corrupt piece of the puzzle. The same vice that we face in politics, in our personal lives, everywhere really. Money.

Money corrupts people because of greed and a feeling we’ve “earned” the right to spend by merely existing. But in the American system of capitalism, which has proven to fuel our society, money plays a central part in all of our lives. Every day.

Money influences jobs, where we live, what we purchase, even our romantic and love journeys. Money is cited as the number one reason for divorce. Billboards, radio and television advertisements in most cities are now overwhelmingly about money. They advertise casinos and lotteries and betting sites. They show where to turn for gambling addiction. They remind you that if you are injured, you can become rich.

In Washington, DC the almighty dollar is central to federal politics. It is the fuel that our federal government runs on. Spending and debt by the US federal government could eclipse our national GDP, which is a warning sign and wake-up call to us all. In our private lives you can’t just continue to amass debt and outspend your revenue, year after year. Our free society does not work that way, for the people. It must no longer work that way, for the government.

On a side note, our society, unlike other countries with much less freedom and choice, is comprised of wealth classes. Those telling you that their goal is to eliminate poverty are fooling you and themselves unless they want to make fundamental changes to the American system. Right or wrong, our freedoms and ingenuity come from a system which rewards innovation and progress.

Since our country’s beginning, money has played a key part in our success. Our country’s creditworthiness was confirmed first by the Dutch when John Adams secured a $2 million dollar loan for the young and financially struggling new America.

The Bank of the United States (BUS) was fought rigorously by those that wanted good deeds to outshine capitalist greed. The capitalists won and still today our monetary policy by the Federal Reserve is an autonamous component undeniably part of our country’s long-term viability. It operates monetary policy independent of politics.

Federalist 2023 believes that an independent component needs to also be put into place for the spending of every penny of federal monies. Monies which are yours, the taxpayers.

So how do you approach such a daunting task? Let’s start by following today’s existing structure of the federal government.

Washington is operated (or administrated) by the executive branch. Also known as the White House, the president. So let’s continue down this path and explore.

The president is our chief executive officer and commander of the military. The president has direct reports, who manage and oversee the federal government. These are the individuals appointed to the president’s cabinet. They are usually referred to as “secretaries” and are in charge of the following:

- Agriculture

- Commerce

- Defence

- Education

- Energy

- Health and Human Services

- Homeland Security

- Housing and Urban Development

- Interior

- Labor

- State (Foreign Affairs)

- Transportation

- Treasury

- Veterans Affairs

A total of 14 separate federal departments which run our central government. We also list the following as administrative agencies who play key roles:

- Environmental Protection Agency

- National Intelligence

- US Trade

- United Nations

- Small Business Administration

- Office of Management and Budget

- Office of Science and Technology

- Office of Chief of Staff

An additional 8 areas which oversee their own budgets and manage key parts of our society.

For a total of 22 departments and offices which comprise the operational aspects of our federal government’s administration.

These remain separate from the other branches of government, the legislative and judicial portions of government.

In our view, and probably a surprise to many, congress is not the key problem with Washington, DC. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

Let’s look at two more basics to the American formula that has contributed to America becoming powerful and successful, a place where other country’s citizens flock to in the hopes and dreams of joining our citizenry. The two basics, taxes and spending.

Or revenue and expenses. However you want to define them, they are the processes of collecting the monies if we the people and then disbursing them back into society by way of federal spending.

Those 22 segments of the administration or spending of federal dollars is where we begin in our quest to build a financial responsibility roadmap. It is where we create the spending factors that we encourage to become the guide to how money is spent at the federal level.

So, as you can see, we’ve now drifted into the lane of congress, on purpose. Not in any way to suggest how much should be spent by the 22 segments of federal government; no, but to setup spending guard rails to keep federal spending in check.

Again, a seemingly daunting task. Yet, if some basic spending facts are applied, not so difficult.

Looking across a map of America its easy to see the country, the states, the counties and the cities of our great nation.

FEDERAL - STATE - COUNTY - CITY/TOWN

Let’s insert another quasi governmental group into our equation which exists fundamentally everywhere in America … school districts.

FEDERAL - STATE - COUNTY - SCHOOL DISTRICT - CITY/TOWN

Five unique overlays of American life where laws, policies and jurisdictions legally and societally exist.

Now for the math. Stay with us, math is important because it is truly objective when applied with consistency. First a closer look at objective versus subjective.

Subjective most commonly means based on the personal perspective or preferences of a person—the subject who’s observing something. In contrast, objective most commonly means not influenced by or based on a personal viewpoint—based on the analysis of an object of observation only.

Something that’s truly objective has nothing to do with a person’s own feelings or views—it just deals with facts. When someone says “Objectively speaking,” they’re indicating that they’re going to give an unbiased assessment—not one based on their personal preferences.

So most would agree that personal preferences are the subjective part of politics which makes most American citizens dissatisfied with congress and our federal government. Pet projects, million-dollar boondoggles and earmarks are spent using our money to further personal agendas instead of responsibly governing.

That’s why Federalist 2023 interest is in making federal spending as objective as possible as part of step one to any federal spending. Oh don’t misunderstand, we can’t and would not want to infringe on pet projects. But we can better control them, through math.

We call this math the Federal Funding Principle or FFP. Here’s how it would work:

There should be established a FFP for each of the 22 segments of federal government spending, which we defined earlier. Let’s start with Defense as an example. A Defense FFP would look something like this:

Defense FFP

- Federal: 70%

- State: 20%

- County: 4%

- Schools: 2%

- City/Town: 4%

Every FFP must total to 100%. In this case the Defense FFP is heavily formulated to the federal level. Aircraft carriers, planes, the pentagon, military bases both foreign and domestic are vital to American safety. National protection is a key part of the original charter of the federal government.

Now let’s apply the Defense FFP to an actual example based on the following absolutes:

- Federal: 1

- State: 50

- County: 3,243

- Schools: 14,061

- City/Town: 2,608

The above numbers as estimates only and actual absolutes would be required to be defined. We suggest the definitions come from a mutual agreement of the OMB and House Ways & Means Committee.

So assume congress through a spending bill or the administration through s spending policy wants to spend $10 billion dollars.

The $10 billion dollars for a Defense FFP must allocate the monies to be spent in the following manner:

- Federal: $7 billion

- State: $40 million

- County: 4% or $400 million

- Schools: 2% or $200 million

- City/Town: 4% or $400 million

A total of $10 billion in defense-related spending which MUST flow to all segments of society based on the Defense FFP.

The federal government would be able to spend the $7 billion on defense as it sees fit, following existing guidelines and spending hierarchy.

Further broken down, each state in the Union would receive $40 million ($2 billion divided by 50 states).

Each County in America would receive their mathematically allocated share of $400 million, school districts $200 million and cities and towns, their share of the $400 million in the package.

Using our absolutes, the breakdown at each level would be:

- Federal: 70% or $7 billion

- State: $40 million

- County: $123,000

- Schools: $14,224

- City/Town: $153,000

Done. No earmarks, no special influence, no pet projects. Unless each could exist within the mathematical distribution of the FFP. But federal influence is reduced because how the distributions are spend would rely on the leaders at the state, county, school district and city/town levels. Any special projects or earmarks would need to be added to the base FFP spend being proposed and for defense purposes.

This means every school district in America would receive $14,224 to be used to defend schools from violence, hire SROs, erect fencing or access protections as examples, without further federal influence or guidelines. No Department of Education monetary funding threats.

Make it a $700 billion Defense FFP and each school district would receive aproximately $1,422,000. Each county for sheriff and prosecutorial measures, $12,300,000. Each City/Town for police, fire and crowd control, $15,300,000. These monies would be received on top of existing municipality revenue sources and spent however each absolute agency sees fit within the guidelines of defense.

The FFP redistributes American federal tax dollars back TO THE PEOPLE in a manner consistent with federally set goals and objectives.

An additional element NOT shown in our FFP examples is population. Using American census data from the most recent US Census, the FFPs could include population data that is applied to the allocations. This would include these population elements:

- Federal: Not Applicable

- State: Citizen Populations

- County: Citizen Populations

- Schools: Student Populations

- City/Town: Citizen Populations

In this essay we make no population suggestions or guidelines specific to the FFP categories like Defense and their meaning at the absolute levels. Those elements would be added to the FFP through congressional action, where they belong. The FFP we are proposing are the guard rails, not doing the important representative work of congress.

A reminder, the FFP is not intended as a cure all. It is intended as guard rails only. The size of the federal budget and the number and size of spending legislation are exercises that continue as they always have, with the freedom to set goals and limits without restriction.

We will explore the following in our next essays:

- Proposed FFPs for the remaining 21 departments and offices which comprise the operational aspects of our federal government’s administration.

- Making FFPs a reality.

Please stay tuned …

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moemoemammon · 3 years ago

Note

Following that "least favorite" request could we get their reactions to being to told that they're their favorite, but to not tell the other brothers so their feelings don't get hurt? Maybe because they relate to them the most or just get along really well. Thanks!

You're My Favorite! But Don't Tell the Others-

(Feat. GN!MC and the Demon Bros)

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Lucifer

There are no words to explain the overwhelming satisfaction ion Lucifer’s face after you tell him that. Of course, it’s only natural that he would be your favorite, all things considered.

The Avatar of Pride won’t ever forget this moment. He carefully considers your words and agrees not to tell anyone, as much as he’d love to bring it up, because he knows more than anyone what kind of chaos would ensue should the others (especially Mammon) find out.

But they can tell something’s up when the eldest has been heard humming all day. He moves about the house with even more grace than usual, and hasn’t scowled even once.

But the REAL shocker was when Mammon tried hiding a bill right as Lucifer walked in... and the eldest let him off with a warning. A WARNING! The brothers thought the Devildom must’ve frozen over, but you and he knew different.

“MC, I would like you to accompany me to Le Pluvier this afternoon, once you've finished your studies. I've already made reservations, so be sure to get ready on time. I've made sure to consider the things you might like to eat, so I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself. Don't be late." "...I'm grinning? I don't know what you're talking about."

Mammon

The gigantic grin on Mammon’s face is so bright, it could rival the sun. You’ve seriously made his day. No, his year. Actually, he’s pretty sure he could ride this high for the next millennia! There’s nothing in this world that could dampen his spirits right now!

He feels like he just won big at the casino! Of course he’s your favorite! He WAS your first demon, and now he’s gone and claimed his rightful spot as your number one! Good luck trying to keep him from saying anything. Mammon’s gonna throw it around in everyone’s faces for as long as he can milk it.

And you thought he was clingy before, just wait till you see how he treats you after hearing that. Despite always calling you his ‘servant’ or his ‘human’, you’d think your roles were reversed. Mammon spoils you every chance he gets, buying you clothes and trinkets, filling the spaces in your room with the things he knows you like, monopolizing you completely until nearly everything you own is a gift from him.

Your words also help soothe that jealousy of his a little. Only a little, though. It’s easier to watch you talk to other demons when he knows he’ll always be your first man.

“Didja really have to stay after class that long? I know you were talkin' to that demon that lent you a book, but you outta ask ME for stuff! Tch... you're lucky I'm in a good mood today! But I guess I don't have to worry about some low level demon like that, seein' as I'm your favorite!"

Levi

Wait wait wait....Come again? Did you seriously just say what he think you said..? That had to be a mistake! Some kind of...uh..verbal typo! Because there’s absolutely, positively, NO WAY in all of the nine layers that he could be your favorite demon. And yet you still insist that you’re telling the truth, and Levi feels like he’s died and gone to heaven.

Red faced and stammering up a storm, Levi looks like he might die. Is it really okay for a shut-in otaku to feel this giddy? Seriously, he hasn’t felt like this since he got his hands on a signed copy of a Ruri Hana audio drama! No no, this definitely beats that!

You’ve managed to inflate his nearly nonexistent ego, and now he feels like there’s nothing he can’t do! Maybe he could even go to Majolish right now?? THAT’S how good he’s feeling!

Almost as bad as Mammon in keeping it a secret. He doesn’t tell anyone right away, but they’re suspicious when they notice how much time he’s spending out of his room. And then when he and Mammon get in another petty argument, he drops the bomb that he’s your favorite demon in the entire Devildom, and you can guess how things go from there.

“Uuuoooo...!!!!! I've decided..! Since I've got a serious stat buff, I'm going to open a booth at the next convention coming up..! I'll sell my Ruri-chan fan art and spread her influence all over the Devildom! I'd never have the guts to do it normally, but I feel like I could do anything right now! Y-you'll go too, won't you MC?"

Satan

You nearly made this man spit tea all over his book, and now he’s coughing and spluttering and trying to figure out what could’ve prompted what he’s taking as a confession. You.. do realize what you’re saying, don’t you? And you know the kind of effect your words have on him?

Satan isn’t the type that wears his heart on his sleeve, so you have to look for his subtle expressions to tell how he’s feeling. But there’s nothing subtle about the redness of his ears and how he’s begging you not to look at him right now. For the sake of his sanity, give him a minute to recoup.

When he does recover, he agrees to keep it a secret for obvious reasons. And it’s hard to tell that he’s in a good mood, other than the fact that he hasn’t tried to pull any pranks on Lucifer lately. But Asmo sees all, and literally hounds him into spilling the tea.

He tells him a lie of course, but now the other brothers are noticing just how happy he is. Satan's smiling way too much today, isn't he? And he didn't even get mad when Beel got whipped cream on his jacket! Well, not THAT mad, anyway.

"Haaah... everyone's been harassing me all day, claiming I'm smiling a lot. I'm sure I look the same as I always do, but I'll admit that I've been happy ever since you told me that this morning. Wait.. you did think I've been grinning too, do you? I have??"

Asmo

Asmo always jokes about being your favorite and announces it as if the two of you are married, but when you actually confirm that his longing for you isn’t one sided, he ends up smearing lip balm across his cheek in shock. Did you... really say that just now? He knew it all along, but hearing it like that is just...!

Ooooh, he’s so happy he can hardly contain himself! Asmo throws his arms around you, peppering your face in kisses until you feel sticky from lip balm, wipes your face clean, then marks it up all over again. Good luck getting rid of him, because he might never let go.

Immediately posts it to Devilgram. Did you really think he’d let such a momentous occasion go unannounced? You must not have been paying attention to the kind of person he is! Asmo would put you on a pedestal in front of the world like a precious jewel if he were able, but this’ll have to do. He won’t hide his love at all!

Of course, the others don’t take too kindly to it, not that he cares. He never leaves your side, pampers you like crazy, and has even attempted to get you to move into his room. Lucifer put an immediate stop to that, though. Boo...

“I just can't get enough of you, MC! Just being near you gets me so excited that I can hardly stand it! You'll take responsibility for what you're doing to me, won't you? And in exchange, I'll take my time showing you just how much I love you. After all, you're my favorite, too!"

Beel

Beel never has a problem with choking while he eats, and it comes as naturally as breathing. Unfortunately neither of that applies right now, since you just made him choke on a meatball sub.

He usually takes your words with quiet acceptance, but this might be the most emotion you've ever witness from the stoic demon. His eyes are wider than that time that laid on an entire gingerbread mansion, sparkling up with such deep emotion you wouldn't be surprised if he cried. Instead he softens up and immediately embraces you.

...And doesn't let go. Sandwich long forgotten, he's been carrying you around all day, and ignoring any questions or protests from his brothers. Also insists on feeding you throughout the day. The food tastes better when he can enjoy it with you, so why not just bring you everywhere?

When he isn't carrying you, he's following you around subconsciously, either close up against you like a protective wall, or just far enough that you're within his line of sight. As far as not telling anyone, he... tells Belphie immediately. It was an accident though, since there's not much he keeps from his twin.

"MC, I won a meal ticket for Godevil Chocolatier. Let's get something for dessert today. Ah, you can get as much as you want, too. I really want to see what things you choose. They might become my favorites."

Belphie

There's nothing in this world that can wake Belphegor from his sleep, unless he allows it. No loud noises, no amount of shaking or smacking, and not even dragging him around the house. But the moment you whisper that he's your favorite demon, the Avatar of Sloth is wide awake.

Hey, you're not just saying weird things to get a reaction, are you? Because if so, this is a new level of cruel. Yet you confirm that you mean it and swear him into secrecy, and Belphie tries his best not to show how happy he is. A smile keeps creeping up on his face that he struggles to force down. It's annoying...

As funny as it’d be to tell everyone the news, he's good at keeping secrets. Instead, you've noticed that he's been sleeping a little less that before. When he does take one of his hundreds of naps, he finds some way to be closer to you. He's even been seen sleepwalking to your exact location somehow-

It's hard for him to believe that you're not teasing, though. How could HE be your favorite demon here? Belphie doesn't do anything special to win you over, yet after everything he put you through, you like him enough to deep him your favorite?

"You're weird, MC. I mean... me? I won't deny that I'm really happy though, but I guess I'm in disbelief. You should spoil me even more until I believe you. Lend me your lap for a few hours, okay?" "...I wonder what Lucifer would think if I told him, heheh."

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starshipsofstarlord · 4 years ago

Text

Not on my boat

Pairing | Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary | whilst helping Sam fix his boat, during the midst of its progression, Bucky corners you within the old Wilson heirloom, leaving your friend and future captain, rather disgusted in the both of you.

Warnings | tfatws spoilers, mentions of death, some angst, smut, oral (male and female receiving), fingering, unprotected sex, bit of choking, swearing

Requested ✖️

Quick link to my masterlist, if you’re interested in reading more of my crap 😬

Hearing the waves crash against the side of the boat brought a smile upon your face, as you felt the breeze brush against your face. It was peaceful, fixing something rather than leaving it broken in order to save lives. If you weren’t swarmed with the government on your tail about how you were not allowed to use your powers, you’d be living out a free and happy life with the man you loved.

You were enduring a break from your assistance on the old Wilson vessel, your legs plodded around its platform, as you surveyed every piece that was in progress. Soon it would be in tip top shape, and when Sam and Bucky’s relationship was on par with that, that was when the two of you had planned to leave. There were plenty of things the two of you had to make up for before you could reside in peace; one of those things was that list of his.

It was a ledger of the amends that he had to make, a reminder of all the lives that had either taunted his own, or he had stolen from whilst he was not himself. James did not deserve the grievance that he was pardoned with, he was struggling, that much was clear. He had lost Steve, and then he was forced to watch as the shield had been handed off to some wanna be cap. To say he had been furious at Sam was a deep understatement, but as said, he was making amends.

Sam was a good man, you had learnt that much from the time that you had spent avenging to him. You had yet to tell him, but you weren’t planning on going back to that life after Karli was stopped, you wanted to continue working in the small shot bar slash grill, where Bucky and Youri would visit during your hours for lunch, and remain in that partition of worlds. Having Bucky and normalcy was a fine balance, which was a deep seated structure that you deeply needed.

If you did not have that then you were sure you’d explode, and hurt someone, or break something. That was no longer your duty, the fighting that you had spent most of your life giving into was coming to an end, and you were more than fine with that. A civilian life sounded good enough, and something that you could definitely settle for, though, you weren’t sure that Bucky would do the same, you hoped that he would.

That gleam in his eye was far too noticeable every time that he looked at that star striped shield. It had brought him much pain, but it had been there in the corner of his sight everywhere he had went. And now, Sam Wilson, the man that his best friend had entrusted with it, finally accepted the mantle, holding it in his firm grasp, ready to become the next captain to walk the earth, and both you and him knew that he would do far better than Walker could.

He was already a hero, he’d been fighting the Sam foes as Steve for some time, that was enough to know that he was ready. His hesitancy had been understandable, more so after listening to Isiah, though, it was nice to see Sam take his own path on this one. There were pictures of his younger self assembled upon the wooden walls, he was with his sister Sarah. She seemed like a nice woman, a part of you wished that you get to know her better, but she wasn’t a buyer into the whole superhero get advantages agenda, and nor were you.

From what you could tell, Sam had his advantage right here; his family. Sarah was supportive of him, always aiding him necessary, whilst she simultaneously raised to young boys, that looked admirably up to their uncle, and feeding the kids that they went to school with because their parents had no intention to. If you could, you’d buy a replica of her life, her head was above water, although the boat almost wasn’t.

The boat. It was an heirloom, something that you did not have of your own family. Everyone was gone, the only person you had was Bucky, and thinking of him caused a light chuckle to fall from your lips, he made you endlessly happy. But neither of you could have the picture perfect life, and that was why the pair of you worked, you were each well aware of the restrictions that taunted you both, and had both been down dark roads on more than one occasion.

Things were turning brighter though, as the sun glared through the old glass, casting luminosity to stroke the high points of your face. A gently creak had your head diverting to the door way, where no other than James Barnes was leant up against, his metal arm pressed to the frame as he adoringly swept his oceanic pools over your form, slowly stepping closer.

“What are you thinking about doll?” He asked you, his tone genuine, as you sighed from his words, rubbing your eyelid as you felt a small itch. You puffed your cheeks, as you placed your hands on the super soldier’s waist, rubbing small and vigilant circles through his grey shirt.

“Too much.” It was an honest answer, everything was rattling around like pins in your mind, sinking in and letting loose to their own will. They could not be organised, they would only tumble about again, until the box was empty, though, for now, you had nowhere else to put them.

“Sarah said we could spend the night.” At his words, you hummed, taking note once more of how generous the woman indeed was. “We get the couch, so you best be on your best behaviour baby girl, nothing dirty goes on inside.” A small smirk crept its way onto his handsome face as you gasped at his spoken intention, lightly hitting the vibranium of his arm.

“Why do you blame me for not keeping it in my pants?” You interrogated him, glaring up at the man with a furrow between your brows. “You’re the one that corners me, a lot like this actually, so that you can get your own way and fuck m- oh, that’s exactly what you’re doing now, isn’t it?” You scoffed, crossing your arms and stepping away due to the man’s hormonal impulses. “Why am in not surprised?” You asked yourself, shaking your head at the behaviour of your partner.

“Hey, I’m doing us both a favour. Sex in someone else’s house is not exactly appreciated, and there’s kids, that i would rather not risk getting caught by.” He moved towards you, grabbing an ass cheek in each hand, as he pulled you closer by his grip. “At least then, there’s a chance I can survive the night, without being woken up by you sucking me off, or riding me.”

He was pushing your buttons, and he far well knew that, almost too well. It was his technique to get you riled up, that way, there’d be no dismissal of his current proposal, though, you continued to wear that adorable frown that he loved so much, and so, he gave your ass another firm squeeze, causing you to gasp against his chest. “Fucking on their dead parents’ boat isn’t exactly respectful either.”

“We’re helping fix it, may as well take our break on board, let loose a little, release all that’s clouding your mind.” He shrugged, knowing that his words were tempting you into complying with his lustrous whim, and so, to put another step in to helping his cause, he stepped back, reaching behind him to pull his shirt over the back of his neck, leaving his muscular torso bare, and free for your eyes to roam.

“That’s not fair.” You whined at him, not stopping yourself as you moved closer, and smoothed your hands down his stomach. “You’re such a tease Barnes, why couldn’t you have just fingered me in the public bathroom and waited until tomorrow?” A groan slipped from your mouth, as you peppered kisses over his warm flesh, tasting the sweat on his skin as your tongue swiped over the ridges of his six pack.

“Where would the fun have been in that?” He watched you roll your eyes, but continue to work your way down to his navel, stroking his v line with your fingertips. “We’ve had sex on a plane, might as well add a boat to the list.” Bucky remarked, groaning as you put your weight down onto your knees, looking up at him with your pretty eyes, as you palmed him through the denim of his jeans.

He could feel his cock stirring beneath the material, wanting more, eager to breach the layers that were keeping your tongue from rotating around him. But he remained still, as you swept your hair out from your face, the noise of your pulling down his zipper audible, as you sent him a naughty grin. The man above you licked his lips, breathing a sigh of relief when you tugged his jeans and boxers down, his erection swiftly bouncing up, the leaking tip pointing rudely at your face.

With a quick hand, you grasped his length, rubbing over his veins as you pumped him, spreading the moisture of his precum over his rigid skin, aiding you in your movements. As you proceeded to jerk him within your grip, your mouth moved forwards, your breath fanning over his balls before your tongue slipped out to stroke them, swiping up the droopy skin, as you suckled one into your mouth, contently moaning from the flavour of his skin.

Your eyes had shut as Bucky opened his own, watching you through a hooded gaze as you happily assisted his genitals, sending him into a crusade of pleasure as you used your well adversed skill set upon him. Your bottom lip ran up his shaft, slowly dragging along his reddened skin, until your reached the tip, your hands fleeing down to fondle with his sack, as your mouth stuffed itself full of his cock.

“Baby girl.” He breathed, his chest feeling tight as he stood there, practically naked aboard your friend’s boat. James gritted his teeth, watching as you effortlessly bobbed your head up and down half of him, lazily grinning as gagging sounds eventually emitted from your throat as you had him down the back of your throat, saliva slipping down your chin as you shook your head from side to side with him choking you with his dick.

Though he worried not for your struggle, not as you moaned against him, your lashes fluttering though your eyes were shut. He reached his vibranium hand down, stroking the side of your face with the cool metal, a high whine whistling it’s way out of your nose. Your spare hand reached up, cupping it against you, as you hollowed your cheeks, steadily breathing your nostrils.

A light frown covered your face as you focused on smoothing your tongue on his underside, causing Bucky to throw back his head, his stomach sternly clenching as he felt his balls twitch; and then, before he could fathom it, he was filling your mouth, cumming down your throat, as he pulled out, the last of his seed falling upon your tongue as he manhandled himself, feeling sensitive as he watched you fumble your tongue around your mouth, swallowing the mix of your spittle and his cum.

“Taste so fucking good.” You spoke, laughing lightly as you stared up and saw his dazed expression. Bucky pulled you up, his hand cupping your ass again, as he backed you up against the dash, your back lightly hitting against the window as he pulled at your shorts, whisking then down your legs, rubbing you through your underwear. His tongue explored your mouth, tasting himself as he located your clit, your arms grabbing at his shoulders to push him down, to which he complied.

His noises echoed through your mouth, as he pressed kissed along the top of your thighs, his fingers surpassing the seams of your panties, swiping at your entrance, until his prodding ceased, and he sunk his middle finger into your pussy, feeling you clench around him instantaneously. His teeth bit into your skin, emitting a squeal out of you as you harshly tugged his hair, making him rut his loose cock against nothing but the air.

“So wet.” He mumbled against your skin, as his vibranium snapped the sides of your underwear, letting the damp material fall to the floor, as he licked circles around your clit with his tongue, pulley airy sounds of pleasure of of your lungs. He slipped in another finger, his nose being pressed against your mound as you tugged him even closer, feeling as though you were almost there. Then you came, his fingers quickly exiting you as his tongue plunged in your entrance, cleaning up all your juices.

“Need you to fuck me Buck, please honey”. The man stood, stroking his hard cock as he teased your entrance. He swiped it through your slit a couple of times, before slapping his head against your clit, making your mewl against his lips, as you licked your essence from around his mouth. “James...” His cocky demeanour returned, as he watched you glance down at his cock, pressing your lips together in desire.

“Thought you didn’t want to fuck me on the boat.” He sneered dominantly, gripping your throat with his vibranium fist, giving it a tough squeeze, finding it endlessly hot as needy tears pooled in the corners of your eyes. Your lips pouted as you sputtered to speak, but you were just so hungry for him. “Guess I’m just gonna have to take pity on you doll, aren’t I?”

With that,he wedged his way through your folds, filling you to the brim as he bottomed out, gently releasing your throat to paw at your tits through your shirt. “Move baby, move.” You mumbled, your head feeling dizzy as your nails dug into the back of his neck, pulling him closer so that you could place tender and supple kisses across the front of his shoulders.

And so, he began to thrust into you, keeping a grip on your hips as he raised your leg around his waist, driving into you deeper, your head tiredly lulling as you chanted his name in soft and delirious pants. “So damn tight angel.” The soldier muttered, biting down onto your chin as he kissed his way up to your lips, abusing the swollen flesh a little more. The kisses were sloppy and downright needy, his vibranium hand held your chin up so that it would tip in rhythm with his movements, making access to the inside of your mouth easier.

“Buck.” You mumbled against his lips as your eyes rolled, your own hand circling your clit as you jutted against his exceeding administrations, one hand crawling up into his scalp as you let our small screams. You were indefinitely close, and as Bucky swerved his head around your own, moving his lips to nip at your earlobe, you came, coating his cock in your wetness, as he continued to hit his hips against your own.

It wasn’t long until he followed after, your clumsy hands trailing down to roll his balls in your palms being the last thing to push him over the edge. Bucky remained standing between your legs, each of your heads resting over each other’s shoulders as you felt each other, eyes closed, and smelling how the aroma of your sex wafted around you, like a personalised perfume.

“Hell no.” And the peace was broke, as Sam’s voice broke it. He had his hands on his hips as he shifted his gaze away from the two of you, unimpressed by what had happened. “The two of you get a break and you - not on my boat!” He practically screeched like a falcon at the pair of you, his arms flailing about like a bird’s flapping wings.

Although he was maddened, it didn’t settle well with you. You were too far out of it to acknowledge what he must have thought about the on deck dick that you had gotten, you were too lost in Bucky, the feeling of him still inside of you, and the falling of his cum out from beneath you both. “You know what, I’m outta here.” Sam left, quite glad to do so.

“You alright doll face?” Bucky asked as he pulled out, making you wince from the feeling of emptiness. You nodded as he reached for your underwear , leaving them be when he registered he had torn them, and instead opted to picking up just you’d shorts, pulling them onto your legs, redressing himself afterwards.

“I love you Buck.” You smiled tiredly, humming as he pecked your lips a few more times, combing his hands through your sex hair, as he returned the facial expression, seemingly calm. It looked good on him, the pair of you had momentarily forgotten your traumas, and it was bliss.

“Love you too darling.” He pecked your nose, staring lovingly into your eyes as he helped you down, and abled you with support to stand. “Unfortunately I think our breaks over beautiful.” He spoke, his hand upon your waist as the pair of you walked from the scene, going to fetch a bottle of water from Sarah, whom you hoped had not learn of your oversea adventure .

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beautifulpersonpeach · 2 years ago

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Jimin's Got that Busan Juju + A Comment on His Photo Folio (Repost)

Anonymous: Hi BPP, I hope the concert was wonderful and everything you asked for. I would really like to know your opinion/analysis about my query below because I started with BTS last year and I am still struggling to figure this out.

So before I started with BTS, the one person whose name I constantly heard was Jimin. Some of my friends who are into BTS loved him and it felt like he was everywhere so when I started with BTS I tried to avoid him. I tend to veer towards the less well known member. However, no matter how hard I tried, I always saw myself watching Jimin. It started with performances and then everything else. Now I don't think he is my bias. I often try to stay loyal to the hyung line but I somehow end up looking at Jimin. I just don't get it. What sort of magic is this? Am I noticing him because everyone else is? I am so confused about this whole situation. Like I know he is good to look at but any idea what the deal is. Lol, I sounds like a teenager with a crush. Do other people feel this as well or am I actually a teenager with a crush?

Lol even if you don't respond to this, I hope this makes you laugh.

***

It’s that Busan juju.

It’s his God-breathed visuals.

Gaia herself crafted that man to be every man, woman, and other’s dream. Athena’s rival, Aphrodite’s muse, Beyonce’s godson.

Jimin’s visuals have always been my favorite. His vocals have always been my favorite. And I’ve slowly come to accept he’s the best dancer in BTS. There was a time (mid-2018 or so) that he seemed so perfect I briefly considered the possibility he might be a sociopath.

Sometimes he falls off my radar (the rapline consistently stay on my radar) but then he pranks Hobi, says something savagely sassy, or his vocals pierce my brain like a lightning rod and he gets on my radar again.

The new ARMY recruit (non-ARMY friend who watched the Grammys) asked me recently why I don’t think of Jimin as my bias or even bias wrecker (that title belongs wholly to Jungkook), and all I could say is that he doesn’t annoy me enough to be my bias, and with how much I like Jimin, I like Yoongi a touch more, Hobi a teeny bit more, and Joon about as much as I like Jimin, maybe. Why that is exactly, I don’t know. People choose their biases for all sorts of reasons, or rather, their biases choose them.

Jimin is a bit of a special case because everybody notices him. It’s quite literally impossible not to. It’s why so many people feel threatened by this guy breathing anywhere near their biases, cause they know their biases would sooner get on one knee, or better yet, turn around and kneel with their asses in the air, for Jimin to do whatever he wants. I just need y'all to watch any of their MV reaction videos, I mean BTS reacting to themselves. Pick anyone at all. And look at their faces when Jimin comes on the screen. I almost feel embarrassed for them because it’s so obvious. Jungkook showed up in Chelsea boots during soundcheck the other day, and his energy? Hyung’s copycat indeed. They all see Jimin for what he is. Jimin himself knows what he is. I have a pet theory that one reason he’s so heavily leaned into his ‘cute, harmless, almost helpless good boy’ persona lately, is to try to seem less threatening. Most maknae line solo stans hate him to a hilariously absurd degree, because they view him as real competition. It’s why they’re so proactive with their hate, always on schedule, never missing a deadline. Some hyung-line akgaes too feel that way tbh. I’ve seen more than one person say Jimin is this generation’s Prince (the artist). And let me add something I’m working on in response to another ask about my favorite sub-unit in BTS (it’s 3J after the rapline): the 3J unit is the only unit filled with aces. You read that right. J-Hope, Jimin, and Jungkook are the true aces in BTS, it might just take some work to see it cause one of those three people goes around saying he wants to be waited on like Cleopatra taking milk baths.

Anyway, I digress.

I hate to be that person, but in your case, you sound a bit like Anthony Bridgerton talking about Kate Sharma. You can’t take your eyes off him? You end up looking only at him? Anon, you might be under the Jimin Effect. I suspect you’ve Jim-ined and cannot Jim-out, as they say.

Maybe accept it? Loving Jimin is a very enjoyable activity and I can speak from experience.

Originally posted: April 12th, 2022 8:00am

Repost EDIT: Reading this post now, after Jimin's photofolio teasers have dropped, made me Laugh. Out. Loud.

Y'all, I hollered. Jimin really is something else, and whatever he is, only Jimin himself knows it. The other members have a very good idea, but the full expression of Jimin is something only Jimin knows. And that makes me giggle. It makes me love him a little harder. It makes me feel things - to know that there will always be something new to learn about him, to explore with him.. it's an intoxicating feeling. It's one I feel sometimes when I think about Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok. The only criticism I have of Jimin's photo folio, is that it comes with no sound, and that's a criticism I'm making only because it's Jimin. I wish this photofolio was a film series instead. Only because I want to hear more of Jimin's vocal evolution. Imagine what he would sound like inspired by the moon's relationship with Artemis, or "freedom"...

Anyway, I hope whoever wanted a copy was able to get one. I hope the worry-toned asks I was frequently getting about Jimin, subside now. I hope his antis finally get a clue. And I hope more of us sit back and just enjoy the ride that is Park Jimin. I've said before that I think he is the most threatening person in k-pop. Lol. It's just what it is.

(He's problematic)

(I mean look at him)

(It's the casual arrogance for me)

(Qu'y a-t-il d'autre à dire ?)

Y'all, I laughed. 💜

#jimin #jimin only #repost #jimin photofolio #bts chapter 2

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kass-storycorner · 3 years ago

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Mentally I’m getting worse again (tho I try to do all the stuff I learned from two years in therapy to … prevent it from getting bad bad ), so I’ve only been thinking about how some of the Genshin characters would comfort me? So here have this, whatever this is, that I wrote at 2am on a night before I have 11am shift at work. Using you in all of this but honestly this is 100% self indulgent. I just want someone to cuddle with. Pretty sure most of this isn’t really in character and every point is vastly different from the others but hey, it is what it is. As long as I’m in my current mindset my stuff won’t be any better than this

Genre: fluff, a bit of angst I guess idk man, comfort i hope

Content warnings: depression (?) I don’t go too much into detail, don’t want to write out those negative thoughts HA but you know you are just not in a good spot in these, absolutely inconsistent writing, every character has to deal with a different stage of feeling depressed and yeah

Characters: Diluc, Childe, Albedo, Yoimiya

Fun fact: my app crashed while writing this so thank the tumblr admins that you can restore posts you wrote after the app crashes one of the few good features of the app

Diluc:

Would definitely notice the first small changes in your behaviour, but wouldn’t think much of it in the beginning.

Maybe you are just tired? And even if not Diluc knows best that no one can always be chipper.

Still he doesn’t know how to act around you when you are sad / heading towards a depressive episode.

He would offer you his help, you just need to say what you need and he’ll give it to you.

Ah, but Diluc didn’t really consider at first that you would be too afraid to ask, even when he offered it to you.

One day he will directly ask you in the privates of your home if you are okay. At first you would try to brush it off, not wanting to be a burden on Diluc. You know how much he’s been through and that he also has his emotional scars… would be a bit selfish to dump it all onto him, wouldn’t it?

But oh, you’ve been dying to talk with someone about your feelings, craving a warm hug and words of comfort… so when Diluc doesn’t drop the topic you just let it all out.

He will take you in his arms and hug you, cuddle you, as long as you want. He’ll stroke your hair, quietly listening to your words, only small “mmmhs” and “it’s okay” leaving him, to reassure you that it’s fine for sharing it all.

When none of you talks all you can hear is his steady breath and oh, it’s so soothing.

Maybe you end up crying, while sharing all of it with him. All he does is to pull you closer into his chest, saying that it’s okay and tell you to let it all out.

Diluc hides his softer side from the people of Mondstadt, always hiding behind the more grumpy image some of him have, but he knows that it’s not good to run away from your own feelings. What you need to do is to feel them, do not try to push them aside because you are uncomfortable with them.

Generally he would be soft, kind and understanding. At first he might give you too much room, afraid he might be overstepping a boundary when he keeps pushing you in the beginning. Ends up in you isolating yourself / pulling away more, but once Diluc sees the pattern he will be more attentive to your needs and learn to differentiate between you needing space and you isolating.

Though please communicate with him better, he’s busy and if him having less time for you causes you distress you need to tell him, he might only notice it after the feelings festered.

Childe:

Oh boy - he hasn’t seen you in a while, Fatui duties you know, so when he knocks on your door one day he notices immediately that you are not in a good place.

This man - he cooks, he cleans, we all joke about him being the perfect husband but seriously. He sees the state of you, the state of your apartment and immediately helps.

Having spend the last week or two in a depressive state caused you to neglect your housework - the dirty dishes are everywhere and laundry keeps piling up. Not to talk about how you look.

Childe will make you a bath and while you’re in it he cleans. An immense help!!! Taking away a good chunk of thinks that made you feel just so overwhelmed and helpless.

The whole time he wouldn’t breach the topic of why it has come to that point, but now after you finished the bath and the apartment looks liveable again he asks you what’s wrong.

Honestly you don’t know yourself, you’ve been just lacking more and more energy to do the basic tasks and suddenly everything was a mess.

Will wipe away your tears and tell you “don’t cry, I’m here”, taking you in a hug.

When he’s around more, will he notice it when it slowly gets worse? Mmh, yeah!! He definitely notice when you are feeling more down, seeing how your interactions change and how your laughs become more forced.

In the beginning he will just try to make you feel all the “positive” feelings, not wanting you to feel any “negative” emotions at all

this man definitely represses his own trauma a lot and has a horrible way of coping with it so I doubt he would be the most emotionally intellectual person to help you through it

Though when you show that you don’t feel like showing your sadness aside and you just want someone to share it with / need some comfort he will adjust to your needs

Albedo:

Boy as impeccable observation skills, he will notice immediately when something is off.

However - he somehow struggles to understand your feelings. Like. At all.

When he asks you what’s wrong and you tell him that there is not a reason for your feelings, you just feel a bit depressed that’s all, he will not get it.

How do you feel a certain emotions without something causing it? There must be a reason for it.

And honestly he’s right there is always a reason for a certain feeling to arise, but sometimes they aren’t easy to understand for yourself or to spot, sometimes it’s just that your inner child needs a hug and it takes you three weeks and a metal breakdown to understand that this is all you needed… plus a good cry

He’s gonna be so awkward at trying to comfort you, making you feel better, at first. Trying everything out to cheer you up, he really doesn’t want you to feel bad. Asks around for advice what helps others when they are sad.

Honestly? The things he does, the small presents he gifts you - they are nice and make you feel loved, but it doesn’t make the bad feelings go away. Even worse it somehow builts up this immense pressure for you to get better quick because look! Albedo does nice things, he tries to help. He tries to figure it out. Why can’t you give him the results he hopes to get???

Only when someone (Timadeus for sure) finally tells Albedo that it’s not a special dish or flower or even place that helps with sad feelings - it’s that they remind them of something that’s comforting. Klee told him Dodoco helps when she’s sad, because Dodoco reminds her how much her mum loves her. So when people told him about certain foods or flowers - it was more because those were valuable for those individuals, doesn’t mean it has value to you. Most importantly is that he’s just there for you.

With that new bits of information he will try to adjust to your needs more, to learn what you need and to understand it.

He will be so upfront about it too, coming into your room and telling you that he’s been trying to make you feel better the past couple of weeks and noticing how your mood has not improved at all. Finally asks you what you need opposed to him only having asked why you feel that way

Will definitely make you cry with how he approaches the topic. When he apologises for making you cry you cry even harder at how soft he says it.

Albedo will remember what he was told, that it’s important to just be there for someone, so he will stay at your side, his hand on your back rubbing it while you are just sobbing.

After the tears have calmed down you can just be honest with him, tell him that you sometimes don’t know yourself what will make it better, that sometimes you just have to life with the feelings and accept them - but that his attempts really didn’t help.

He will apologise for putting more pressure on you, asking if you need a hug (something a lot of people have told him helps them but he was just to shy to actually try it out). After saying yes you both stay for a long time in the hug, the first thing in a long time to make you feel better.

Yoimiya:

My love, the light of my life, my future main - she would be SO good at helping you through an episode.

Notices the way you act towards her changes and immediately confronts you about it, afraid that something in the relationship is amiss until you tell her the truth that you are a bit depressed.

Canonically the one with the best communication skills, if you were to put her, Diluc and Kaeya in a room I’m 1000% sure those two would leave it as brothers again.

That said she can sometimes be a bit too overwhelming - she can talk a lot, but she’s a good listener too, but in her attempt to fix the issue she goes a bit overboard.

She’ll want you to talk it all out which isn’t a bad thing per se, but sometimes you just don’t feel like talking or that talking would help.

However the way Yoimiya is it will make you communicate with her more about how you feel and what you need - she kinda just seems to be more approachable and the kind of person you can pour my heart out to after meeting her on the toilets of a bar.

Will cuddle you as long as you need.

And honestly? 100% sure she would even make you a firework to cheer you up that you both watch from her favourite spot on a blanket while doing so (the cuddling!)

or you know maybe it’s just what I would really want to do with her when I’m depressed aka RIGHT NOW MAN

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quindolyn · 4 years ago

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Better Kisser Part 2 || James Potter and Lily Evans

Request: “istg i need a fic or a blurb or something about being in a poly relationship with lily and james...after reading Better Kisser it’s all i can think about 😭” -anon

and

“hiii !! first of all, i love your writings they’re so amazing honestly !! could you maybe write something with hot lily from “better kisser” ? i’d love it if it was both sensual and fluff :) thanks so much if you ever do something like that! hope you have a nice day/night!“ -anon

and

“QUINN HEAR ME OUT

imagine a part two to better kisser but like smutty bc Lily starts bragging about how she thinks she’s better at other things since she’s the better kisser so they make it a competition over who can like... get the reader off fastest... and then it’s like a competition to see who can get her off the most...

good ideas here right...? N E ways love u bestie <3″ -anon

Word Count: 4,752

Notes:I got three separate requests for this so obviously y’all wanted it and I want to write it. This is smut! I could also do headcanons on Jily x reader and even if you guys don’t request it I’ll probably still write them because it sounds like fun.

Warnings: poly sex, jily x reader, dom!James, dom!Lily, sub!reader, LIly’s a sex god, prove me wrong, they’re both cocky as fuck

Part 1

Masterlist

Lily Evans was the stars, she was mesmerizing and mysterious. Just as they decorated the night sky, accentuating the darkness through their beauty she too brought out the best in those around her without dulling any of her own shine. She was sly smiles and gentle touches, slender pale fingers and long, swishing red hair. She was wondrous and beautiful, complex and absolutely gorgeous. Lily Evans, she was the stars.

James Potter was the sun, he was bright and glowing and impossible to ignore. James was messy black hair, and goofy grins, strong hands and bear hugs. He attracted all of those around him, sucking them into his gravitational field, giving them purpose, warming their souls. A centering person when the rest of their lives were crazy and unpredictable and scary. James Potter, he was the sun.

Where Lily was understated and controlled with her witty remarks and sharp quips James was loud and boisterous, trying to get the biggest reaction out of people. Where Lily was calm James was chaotic. Where she was focused on her end goal he was everywhere, practically bouncing off the walls.

Together they were perfect.

And somehow they were yours.

One thing was for certain, Sirius Black was an upright prick, and you owed him, bigtime. If it weren’t for Sirius Black you would’ve never kissed Lily Evans on a dare. You would’ve never kissed James to satisfy his curiosities. You wouldn’t have spent weeks exchanging tense glances with the two, holding your breath whenever one of them so much as sat down one seat away from you in the Great Hall. Lily would’ve never found you, hiding away in the common room in the wee hours of the morning, pouring over your Transfiguration notes preparing for your test the following morning, or rather later in the day. She never would’ve brushed the hair out of your face with her elegant fingers, nails painted in a berry shade, complimenting her pale skin. She never would’ve told you that you really needed to go to bed, she never would’ve leaned down, meshing her lips with yours, allowing you to answer that question that had plagued you after you kissed Lily.

What did her lips taste like when she wasn’t drunk?

The answer?

Well at that moment, morning breath. Which brought a new question to the forefront of your mind, what did she taste like when she hadn’t just woken up in the middle of the night?

It didn’t take long for you to find out the answer. She’d brought you up to bed, her hand clasped with yours, telling you that she and James wanted to talk to you in the morning resulting in you tossing and turning all night in anticipation of the conversation that would take place the next day.

If it weren’t for Sirius Black you never would’ve had that conversation with James and Lily by the Black Lake. You never would’ve even had the opportunity to accept their offer not to join their relationship but to start a new one, with all three of you. You never would have never learned what Lily tasted like, it was maple syrup and cherries by the way.

If it weren’t for Sirius Black you wouldn’t be sitting in your dorm room with the two of them, skimming over notes for your potions midterm. Well you and Lily were looking over your extensive notes, James on the other hand was sitting behind you, pressing kisses to the side of your neck.

You hissed as he dragged his teeth over a bruised spot on your neck, sending ripples of both pain and pleasure through your body, leaving your fingertips tingling, dying to get themselves on his skin.

“Aw, baby,” He cooed in your ear as he registered your reaction, it’s not as though he could’ve missed it, not with your back pressed flush against his chest, “You a little sensitive there?”

“Come on Jamie,” You giggle trying to hide your neck from him, pressing your ear to your shoulder, “You already know I am.”

James slipped his rough, strong fingers under your jaw, using them to lift your head back up, away from your shoulder, “Don’t hide from me darling, wanna see the marks I left on you.” He returned his lips to the same spot on your neck, lapping slightly at the purple mark with his tongue.

Lily snorted from where she laid on her stomach a couple inches away from you on the same bed that had been transfigured to accommodate all three of you.

“What’s so funny Lils?” James inquired, peeking up from the delicate skin covering your thrumming pulse.

“Nothing,” She sang, twirling her pen in between her fingers, her feet hanging lazily in the air, “I just think it's funny you think you left that mark on her.”

“Well I did,” James said plainly, obviously not amused by Lily’s comment, “Didn’t I poppet?” He asked, pressing his lips to the shell of your ear.

You ducked your head, trying to hide your wide eyes and heated cheeks from the two of them.

“It’s okay (Y/N),” Lily cooed, setting her quill down in her book, marking her page as she closed the book, dropping it onto the floor, “You can tell him it was me who left that, his ego can take it.” She held eye contact with you for a minute, managing to keep a straight face before a smile broke out across her lips, chuckles erupting from the soft cushions of her lips, lathered in a light pink gloss, “Okay, it probably can’t but that shouldn’t stop you baby, Jamie needs to remember that he’s not the only one who can make you feel good.”

“I know I’m not Flower, but I left this one, I can tell, it's one of the darker ones.” And he was right, the entire left side of your neck was littered in bruises and bites, some lighter than others, some darker, but none as dark as the one he was currently tracing with his index finger.

“Nope,” Lily countered, popping her p before pushing herself up off of her shins in order to settle between your open legs, “I distinctly remember, I had her pressed up against the wall before you got back from Quidditch practice, she moaned so pretty for me, prettier than she ever has for you.” She grinned victoriously, turning her gaze back to you, and only you, “It’s like he cares more about that fucking snitch than he does us.”

“That’s bullshit love and you know it,” He murmured in your ear pressing a kiss against the corner of your mouth before dragging his lips, considerably less rough than they were before you started dating him as you’d made it your mission to apply lip balm to his lips every time you saw him, across the side of your face back to your ear, “She’s just trying to turn you against me, she’s so mean isn’t she.”

They loved doing this. Making you choose between the two of them, or trying to anyway. The power struggle between the two of them was hot as fuck.

Before you could so much as open your mouth Lily was responding for you, “I’m not mean doll,” She crooned, not looking at you but rather focusing on the dark haired boy whose nimble fingers were expertly pulling at the hem of your shirt, slowly but steadily rolling up the material until it covered just was much as your bra, “Jamie just needs to remember who the better kisser here is, who makes you feel the best.”

Ignoring her jab James murmured a quick, “Want this off,” In your ear before pulling the shirt over your head and arms, tossing it off the bed and onto the floor paying it no mind as soon as the material slipped from his fingers.

Desperate to prove his worth, to prove his dominance James’ hands ran up and down your thighs, inching your skirt up them, “You’re not the better kisser here Flower, you’re not the best anything. Our baby here loves me the most.”

“She told us James,” Lily sighed, clearly exasperated with your boyfriend, “After she kissed you for the first time she told us. I’m the better kisser, just accept it. She likes me the most don’t you (Y/N/N)?”

“Jamie you make me feel so good,” You began, hoping to soften the blow, “But Lily’s tongue is magic, feels so good in my mouth, in my-my…”

“It’s okay pretty girl,” She simpered, “You can say it, where does my mouth feel good?”

“My pussy,” You forced out, willing yourself not to stutter.

“That’s right my pretty little kitten,” She grinned, tilting your chin up with her index finger so that you were staring into her swirling emerald irises, darkened with obvious desire. “I make your pussy feel so good, better than Jamie.”

“Off.” James demanded, not taking kindly to Lily’s teasing, as he aggressively undid the clasp on your bra, the snide remarks obviously doing no damage to his ego as he pulled the straps from your arms. Taking no care with the expensive, luxurious garment that he himself had bought for you he flung the clothing over his shoulder. Clearly not caring about the money he’d spent on it as the silky material crumpled next to the bed.

“Not just my tongue that makes you feel better isn’t that right my darling?” Lily smirked, beginning to undo the buttons on her button up, “S’my fingers too, stretching you out on my fingers, they can reach so much further in you than his can.”

“Pfft,” James shook his head, one hand settling on your waist, gripping with a frankly frightening strength, no doubt melding dark purple bruises in the shapes of his fingertips on your soft skin.

“Gimme your hand Flower, let me show our baby that you’re wrong” James demanded as the hand not on your waist extended towards the redhead. When she dropped her hand in his he immediately lined them up, palm against palm, fingers against fingers, and much to James’ chagrin his hands were only barely larger than hers. His palm was much larger than hers leaving his fingers slightly shorter than his girlfriend’s.

Feeling benevolent, you grabbed his hand before it dropped down to his thigh in defeat, pressing your hands together as he had pressed his to Lily’s. Yours were considerably smaller than his, and therefore her’s too, your palm nearly half the size as his, your fingers dwarfed by his.

“See Jamie, your hands are bigger than mine.” You comforted, mesmerized by the contrast, “Your fingers make me feel so much better than mine ever could. They don’t even come close.”

“But that’s besides the point right poppet?” Lily questioned, grasping your jaw in her graceful hand, you noticed her ivory dress shirt now hung open, revealing her red lace clad breasts as she once again tilting your head up to look her in the eyes, “Because you’re not allowed to touch yourself, not without my permission.”

“Or mine,” James piped up.

Rolling her eyes at her boyfriend Lily released her grip on your jaw, “Keep your eyes on me darling, be my good girl.”

“You even like my strap more than you like James’ cock, stretches you out so much better than he ever could. Not to mention we don’t have to wait for his little blue pill to work do we?”

Being a muggle born you understood her joke but James was utterly bewildered by your shared laughter.

“You’re not laughing at me are you, you little slut?” James spat, his voice hard and unwavering as he turned your face with a single finger so that your neck was craned to look at him.

“N-no,” You shook your head pathetically, your eyes flashing downwards not being able to meet him.

“Open,” He commanded, tapping your bottom lip and you instantly obeyed, not daring to disobey him. You were rewarded for your obedience by the male spitting into your mouth, the taste of his saliva bleeding along the expanse of your tongue.

“What do we say to Jamsie, pretty girl?” Lily raised an expectant eyebrow.

“Thank you.”

“Good girl,” James muttered, watching as you swallowed the gift he’d given you, “Thought you’d forgotten your manners for a second.”

“Not our good girl,” Lily grinned, somehow now only in her thong, “No, she’s such a good girl for us.”

“Guess she is,” James agreed, leaving a trail of kisses between your shoulder blades.

“Bet I can make our baby cum first James,” Lily boasted, beginning to work on the zipper of your skirt, expertly pulling it off of your legs, “Being the better kisser and all.”

“Don’t get cocky Evans,” James tutted, pulling his shirt over his head as he had yours, “You know I love your strap baby but it just can’t compare to my cock. Mine’s real.”

Clearly unimpressed by his comment Lily pressed her lips to yours, maneuvering you so that you too were on your knees, giving James time to strip down to the same level of clothing as the two of you.

Smiling into the kiss she put but a millimeter of distance between the two of you to catch her breath, “You taste so good kitten.”

“You’re the one who tastes good Lily.”

“So nice to me, don’t deserve you,” She planted a kiss to the hollow of your throat, “Let me make you feel good baby.”

Not complaining, you let Lily lie you back on the bed where James was no longer standing, instead now standing behind Lily, letting his hands settle on her hips.

Once you were lying down she hooked her hands under your thighs, pulling you to the edge of the bed as James helped her off the mattress, helping her plant her feet on the floor. It was things like this, the subtle loving gestures and actions even when they were practically at each other’s throats, that reminded you of how much they loved each other. Of how much they loved you.

“Look at these,” Lily lilted, her finger hooking under the silky material of your panties, “So pretty aren’t they J?”

“Very,” He whispered in her ear only loud enough for you to barely hear him, “Like her in red.”

Lily hummed in affirmation, tapping your hip as a non verbal clue to lift your hips so she could pull them off of you.

She didn’t waste a single second before kneeling down before you so that her face was level as your glistening pussy, already so wet from them just talking about pleasuring you.

After running a single finger through your folds Lily brought her finger to her lips, a hum leaving her lips. “You taste good down here too (Y/N), you have such a pretty pussy.”

“Thank you,” You murmured, attempting not to whine and be their good girl even though you desperately wanted them to touch you.

Without any warning Lily inserted two slender fingers into your cunt causing you to gasp at the sensation. “Lily,” You whimpered, trying not to buck your hips towards her hand, not wanting to let on quite yet how desperate you really were.

“See J?” You could hear the smirk on her lips as she slowly moved her fingers in and out of you, paying you no other mind, instead directing her attention to her boyfriend who still stood behind her, his hands now on her bare shoulders. “She’s really not all that hard to please when you actually know what you’re doing. Had my fingers in her two seconds and she’s already so needy for me.”

“Shut up Lils,” James growled, “Stop talking like I don’t know how to get her off, she’s my baby too, I know exactly how to get her desperate.” In his efforts to prove his point he moved onto the bed, taking one of your nipples into his mouth resulting in a whine to tumble from your lips as he raked his teeth over the sensitive bud.

As his mouth sucked on one his hand moved to the other nipple, rolling it between his fingers before pinching harshly making you gasp in pleasure.

Lily allowed James to have his moment before taking your clit between her lips and sucking. If you gasped for James you absolutely screamed for Lily, thank Merlin for silencing charms because otherwise someone would’ve probably thought you were being tortured. Once she had your sensitive bundle of nerves in her mouth she began humming, making wave after wave of intense ecstasy roll through your core and up your spine, leaving your nerve endings frayed and responsive to every single touch.

You could feel everything, the soft material of the duvet beneath your back, James’ tongue circling your nipple, one hand caressing your heated cheek while the other traced shapes down your stomach. You could feel Lily’s fingers continuing their assault on your cunt, reaching so deep inside of you that they almost touched your g-spot, but not quite, as your clit was set aflame by her mouth.

“You’re not even trying,” Lily snarked, coming up for a breather from in between your legs, “You really think you’re gonna get her to cum from playing with her nipples? I never realized you were that daft Jamsie.”

“If you’d give me a turn,” He began before Lily cut him off.

“Doesn’t look like she wants me to stop does it?” She nodded in your direction where you were writhing on the bed merely from her fingers. “Do you want me to stop, baby?”

“No,” You begged, “Please don’t stop, please! Need your fingers in me, make me feel so good.”

Grinning triumphantly Lily returned her mouth to your pulsing cunt, sucking with a new found vigor that had your back careening off of the mattress, hips bucking towards her mouth.

“Hey,” James scolded, moving his arm to keep your hips firmly on the bed, “Don’t be a desperate slut, take it as she gives you it okay? Be good for us.”

Nodding feebly you willed your hips still but it was nearly impossible as Lily replaced her fingers with her tongue, moving her digits to pinch your clit. Feeling the pleasure bubble up in your stomach you focused on your girlfriend’s ministrations, lapping at your hole with her tongue sent you into a whole new level of pleasure.

“Feels so good! Lily, that feels so good, please don’t stop!”

You could feel her smiling into your opening as she sped up her movements, bringing you closer and closer to the precipice of climax. “Am I allowed to cum?” You asked desperately, the only thing keeping your hips where they were being James’ strong forearm, digging into your hip bones.

“No,” He growled, slapping at your tit bringing you even closer to something you were apparently not allowed to do.

“Come on James,” Lily said replacing her tongue with her fingers as she moved her head to talk to the dark haired boy, “You can’t just tell her she’s not allowed to cum because it’s not you who’s going to make her cum,” Turning her attention back to you she smiled, “Of course you’re allowed to cum baby, don’t listen to him. Are you close, m’love?”

“Uh huh,” You screwed your eyes shut, the pleasure becoming overwhelming and only intensifying when Lily’s mouth returned to your clit, licking broad stripes up and down it.

“Baby look at me,” James’ deep voice commanded you, to which you promptly obeyed, “Wanna see you when you fall apart on her tongue, wanna see you cum baby, you’re so pretty when you cum.”

James’ words accompanied by a particularly harsh nip by Lily to your clit has you tipping over the edge, letting out a high pitched scream as pleasure took over your body, drowning you in the feeling of your lovers still working on your body, obviously not satisfied with leaving you with just one orgasm.

As you came to, your orgasm slowly seeped away from your cloudy mind, reentering you into your dorm room where you heard Lily’s melodic voice, “See James, told you I could make her cum first.”

“Didn’t even get a chance,” He grumbled from his place next you, brushing the hairs off of your forehead. “Wanna make you cum poppet, tell Lily to give me a turn.”

“L-lils,” You managed in your post orgasmic haze, “Want Jamsie, want his- want his…”

“Look at how good of a job I did on our baby,” The redhead boasted, “Just one in and already a blubbery little mess. How do you think she’s gonna be fairing when I have her on her fourth?”

“Only shooting for four Lils?” James raised a defined eyebrow, “I was thinking I could get at least five out of her myself.”

Your eyes widened, slightly in alarm, slightly in anticipation. “F-five?”

“Shh kitten, let us talk,” Lily chaisted lightly. “You really do think highly of yourself don’t you Potter?”

“I’ve done it before,” He countered.

“No, we’ve done it before, both of us. Neither of us have ever gotten her to five by ourselves.”

“Don’t think you can do it Flower?” As he rose from the bed and moved towards Lily you caught sight of his cock, already painfully hard, the tip a bright red and leaking with precum.

“S’not me I’m worried about, don’t wanna overwhelm our baby.”

“I can do it,” You piped in feebly, “I can take it, make me feel good please, wanna feel good.”

“See Lily? If she says she can take it, who are we to question her?”

“You sure poppet?” Lily asked you, her eyes on yours.

“Yes Lily, I’m sure.”

That was all James needed to nudge Lily out from between your legs, spitting on his fingers before rubbing them up against your pussy. “You need me to stretch you out darling?” His voice laced with absolute adoration as he took in your perspiring figure from this new angle.

You shook your head but James wasn’t satisfied, “Wanna hear your voice poppet, come on not too fucked out yet are you?”

“No, don’t need you to stretch me out, want your cock.”

He grinned, lining up the tip of his cock with your quivering entrance, “There’s my good girl.”

As he pushed into you you faintly questioned why you didn’t have him stretch you out beforehand, but once he was fully sheathed inside you all you could think about was the way his dick pressed perfectly against your g-spot.

You moaned out as he began thrusting into you, ruthless in his efforts to make you cum. He moved his hands to hold your hips at an angle where he could better reach deeper inside of you if that was even possible.

“So pretty baby girl,” His grin was wicked as he watched your cunt, reveling in the sight of his cock going in and out of your dripping pussy, “You look so pretty on my cock, you gonna make a mess f’me?”

“She’s not gonna cum yet you himbo,” Lily interjected, “You’ve been inside her what? Five seconds? You need her to cum soon? You close?”

Using Lily’s mocking as motivation he pistoned his hips in and out even more viciously, leaving you a bouncing mess on his cock as he pulled his prick almost all the way out, so that only the leaking red head was still inside of you before fully sheathing himself in you once more.

“Fuck!” You cried out as the tip of his member brushed against your cervix, “Don’t stop!”

“Wasn’t planning on it,” James managed through gritted teeth, throwing your legs over his shoulders so that he wouldn’t have to hold them in his hands any longer, giving him the ability to grip your hips.

So lost in your pleasure you hadn’t registered where Lily was until she sat next to you on the bed, moving her fingers to massage your clit pulling a strangled gasp from your throat.

“L-Lily,” You stuttered out.

“Hey there baby,” She cooed, like she was talking to an actual child, “Jamie making you feel good.”

You nodded, keeping your eyes locked on hers.

“You close, kitten? You gonna cum soon?”

A whimper escaped your lips this time as you nodded once more.

“Let me see if I can help with that then, wanna see you cum again pretty girl.”

You closed your eyes, letting your head fall back against the mattress with a soft thud as Lily’s fingers started working magic on your clit, bringing you closer and closer to your second orgasm.

A slap against your clit, combined with the deep, hard thrusts of your boyfriend, reaching depths within you you could’ve only imagined before him sent you careening. Your climax washed over you in waves, each stronger than the last making you twitch and spasm on the bed.

You hadn’t even registered that you’d squirted, not until Lily’s delicate hands were rubbing your release up and down your thighs, “Well would you look at that?” James grinned, “I didn’t see you make her squirt Lils.”

“Oh, you don’t get points for this one pretty boy,” Lily grinned, not making eye contact with him but rather focusing on your pulsing cunt.

“What?” James was incredulous, “What do you mean I don’t get credit for that one, she came on my cock.”

“Yes, technically, but she only came when I started on that pretty little clit of hers, so responsive isn’t it, doll?” She asked, punctuating her remark with a gentle slap against your still throbbing cunt and a quick wink that James was too bewildered to pick up on.

Over the next couple of hours they were able to lull a number of orgasms out of you, James making Lily sit in a chair next to the bed so that she couldn’t touch you at all and take credit for any of his hard work.

You’d cum on her tongue and his, both of their fingers, once at the same time, they split the credit for that one but it was worth it, getting to watch your cunt stretch around both of them. You came on James’ cock more times than you could count, and of course on Lily’s strap on because Godric, did she know how to move her hips.

By the end you’d cum a grand total of nine times. You weren’t quite sure how’d you’d done it but you had. And they were both so proud of you.

The final score was Lily, five. James, four. You’d better believe that James was butt hurt about it, not quite willing to accept his obvious defeat, instead of acknowledging it and conceding to his very talented girlfriend, working on getting you cleaned up.

Once James had left the dorm to run you a bath Lily scooped you into her lap, running her hands up and down your thighs but being careful not to touch your sensitive cunt.

“You did such a good job for us baby,” She cooed, pressing kiss after kiss to the back of your head, “Came nine times, can you believe that?”

“Is Jamie going to be mad that you made me cum more?” You asked in your degenerative head space not wanting to upset your boyfriend.

“Of course not,” Lily squeezed your hips, soothing your woes. “Especially not at you, he might mope around a little bit because he is a man,” She pulled a light giggle out of your lips with that one, “But he’ll get over it, it's just gonna push him to work harder next time when he’s making you feel good.”

“Flower,” James called from the bathroom, “Bath’s ready.”

“Come on baby,” Lily said, easing you up onto your feet, “Let’s get you in the bath and all cleaned up for us alright?”

“Okay,” You yawned, understandably exhausted by the events of the night, “Will you take the bath with me?”

“Of course my pretty girl, not gonna let Jamie join us though, s’my reward for being the best.”

You chuckled, nodding your head in agreement, “Sounds good Lils.”

As she settled you into the bathtub Lily ordered James out before he could step into it with you.

“But-”

“Out!”

“Fine! Fine, I’m going!”

Lily was the stars and James was the sun, and fuck did they know how to make you feel good.

tagging: @randomoutsiders @weasleyposts @kittykylax @amourtentiaa

#harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fanfic #the marauders #marauders #marauders x reader #marauders poly #marauders fanfic #marauders fanfiction #james potter #james potter fanfic #james potter fanfiction #james potter x reader #lily evans #lily evans fanfic #lily evans fanfiction #lily evans x reader #jily #jily x reader

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widow-maximov · 3 years ago

Text

I'll be your knight

Pairing: Natasha x Fem Reader

Warning: Language, fluff, angst, smut.

Summary: Dealing with sexism is a real struggle but eventually a line is crossed and anger is unleashed.

A/n: This is my first time writing smut so hopefully it's good enough :3

Word count: 3.5k

⸻⸻⋙☸⋘⸻⸻

Being an Avenger isn't easy, especially for any women that join the life style of a hero. You had to put up with sexist comments all the time, most of the time it didn't really bother you but the more you heard random men talking about your best friend like she was some toy, the more it annoyed you.

The comments towards you stopped when you were recruited by Tony Stark, there was some level respect for you and you kind of liked it.

You had some issues with opening up to the team but when Wanda, showed you they are harmless, you slowly opened up more and more as you knew that they were going to be your new family from now on.

Everyone on the team warned you about the one particular redhead but you didn't listen, you wanted to be her friend, she looked scary but is an actual softie, but only around you.

It took time for the Russian to even greet you when she saw you but for you it was worth it, you respected her and always been there for her when she had no one to turn to.

She warmed up to you as she saw the security you were offering her, and you never backed down from your offer, she wasn't keen on your presence but had to learn to accept it.

Even if she didn't trust you fully, that was okay. You trusted her with everything because you knew she was a human just like you and no doubt needed someone to lean on.

⸻⸻⋙☸Flashback☸⋘⸻⸻

You walked around, exploring the place that now it was your new home, you never saw anything more fancy than this place, the room you were staying in was more than enough for 4 people.

Your own tv along with your own big walk in closet and your own bathroom, literally a five star hotel, you didn't complain at all, you were just shocked at how spacious this all was.

Each room was bigger than the other and it was starting to get all confusing, when you left the room, you would get mixed up with the way you walked in.

You loved it but at the same time you hated it, you accidently bumped into the Russian, she looked sweaty in her work out clothes and you stared at her with awkwardness.

She eyed you and cleared her throat, attempting to walk past you and continue where she was going but you stopped her "I'm sorry to disturb you but I just want to know where I can find the gym"

You rubbed your neck awkwardly "I- um- I tried searching everywhere but I'm lost"

Usually when people stutter around Natasha, it meant they were obviously attracted to her but with how you stood and looked away from her just showed her that you were afraid of her.

She didn't smile or anything "Walk straight until you reach the end of the hall and turn left"

You looked at her but she was already on her way so you shouted "Thank you!"

You made your way with her instructions of where to go, she knew how to hide her emotions but it was totally shocking for you how she never had a smile across her lips.

This was your first real conversation, not the hello's or goodbye's. It was a proper conversation, well kind of a proper but it was a start and that's what made you happy.

Second encounter with the redhead was a lot better, the two of you actually had a normal conversation in the morning, you were barely awake so coffee was your way of helping with that.

Walking into the kitchen, not really expecting anyone up early this morning, but the sight of the yawning Russian met your eyes, you smiled at her the best you could as you turned to make yourself a coffee.

"You know there is a coffee maker here?" Her naturally raspy voice spoke which caused you to look at her.

"Yeah I seen it but I have no idea how to use it" You confessed, you weren't embarrassed, you just weren't that fancy to ever own one or even be around one.

She turned around without a word and pulled out a cup, placing it underneath the little nozzle and within seconds the coffee poured out, she took the cup and placed it down as she slid it towards you.

You looked at her and then back at the coffee "Thank you Natasha"

She nodded as she sipped on her own drink "Since you are the only person who is up right now, you mind taking a look at this report, I'm not really sure what it means"

You was taken back, she was asking you for help? Shouldn't she know all of the reports like the back of her hand? She noticed your silence "Or you don't have to, I'll probably figure-"

"No, no I have nothing to do today so I don't mind helping" You smiled and took the coffee with you as you followed her into the room where she had a loads of reports laid out.

You looked at all of them "You know you can work on two reports at a time?"

She nodded "I know but the more I do within a certain time, the less I have later on"

You nodded as you sipped your warm coffee, it was very different to what you were used to, but this was definitely easier to get used to. It was the first time Natasha spent more than 2 minutes with you and you were more than happy to accept that.

So from that time, the two of you worked every morning with each other on reports, you learnt so much from her and in some way she learnt more about you rather than from you, she was impressed by your calmness with her constant questions.

To be fair you wanted to open up to the Russian, she had that safety vibe coming of her and you knew that she would never betray you or your trust that you put in her.

The mornings spent on reports also turned into evenings and soon there was movies every other day, she loved horror movies but you on the other hand loved action movies, there was plenty of action as a hero of the world but it never was enough.

She started to show herself around you more often and you really liked how you could make her laugh with simply couple words. She loved how close she gotten to you and how you trusted her with everything.

She had some doubt but you were always to reassure her, she was thankful for it each time, so in return she would ask you questions about yourself and you never hesitated for a moment to tell her.

⸻⸻⋙☸End☸⋘⸻⸻

But the problem was that not everyone saw it like that, they saw her for her body but not for her heart which is one of many reasons to why she was slow at opening up.

It angered you that people didn't want to treat her like anyone else, just because she was gorgeous didn't automatically make her less of a human.

Today was one of those days where you were busy, like busy busy, overloaded with bunch of reports that needed to be sorted before the next day, so you spent your whole day in you room, you glared at the clock on the wall.

You was doing this for 6 hours straight, no breaks so you decided to just do that. You stood up and stretched out, walking out of your room without anyone around, it did ignite curiosity in you so you walked around cautiously to see what was the deal.

Three of your teammates with two random agents were placed on the couch in the living room, trapping Natasha in between them, from her body language she didn't want to be there.

Bruce and Bucky along with Steve seem to laugh at the agents jokes, you moved closer to the door as you listened to what they were saying.

"Come on Natasha, you should do that power pose and show off that body" One of the agents spoke up as they eyed the Russian.

The other agent tried to move closer to her but hesitated, knowing she could easily tackle him "You can't let that body go to waste"

The anger was raising as words spilled out of their mouths, why didn't Steve stop them? Did he really think that as well?

"I was near to tapping that ass but you know women" Bruce made a comment as he laughed along with the agents.

"If she dyed her hair blonde, the amount of jokes we could make then" Bucky smirked as he spoke loudly.

Natasha was just taking in all of the comments, you could see across her face that she didn't enjoy it at all, so she stood up and what they did next made you finally act.

They all looked at her ass and whistled "Romanoff, you should dance for us, show off those curves"

"I am a little hungry as well, you might as well move that pretty ass of yours and make us something to eat" One of the agents spoke up as he laughed.

You walked in as you raised your brows at the 5 men sitting and eyeing Natasha as a piece of meat, you pulled her into you causing her to jump a little but relax when she realised it was you.

They all looked at you and the other agent smirked "Are yous going to put on a lesbian show for us?"

Now you wasn't just unimpressed but also pissed, you pulled yourself away from the Russian as you stepped forwards in front of Natasha "Listen here you little dick, If I hear that you even looked at Natasha in any way, I will fucking haunt you and make sure you don't live to see tomorrow"

His friend was terrified, he gulped when you looked at him "As for you, I want you to go and make her a fucking five star meal and if it's not good, I swear to god you'll regret being born"

He shook his head so fast as he stood up but you stopped him with your powers "You want a show? I will fucking give you a show"

You gripped his face, squishing his cheeks very firmly, your hand started to glow blue as you made him hallucinate that he was in pain, from the fact that he couldn't move and he felt as if his skin was being peel off he only could scream.

You looked at the 4 men who looked very terrified of you, your eyes had flames and you wasn't going to go easy, on neither of them "If any of you ever comment anything sexist or inappropriate about any woman, including Natasha. I will make your life a living hell"

"Do yous understand?"

They shook their heads and scattered away from you as fast as they could, you let go of the dude in front of you, he looked weak but he gotten up so fast that you could swear he had powers as well.

You turned towards Natasha, worried "Are you okay? Did they touch you?"

You looked her up and down as you made your way towards her, she shook her head with a small smile. You pulled her into a hug as a single tear slid down Natasha's face.

You pulled away as you wiped that tear off with your thumb "Why didn't you act Nat?"

"What's the point? It wont stop them from saying what they want Y/n/n"

The pain in your heart was strong at the words, how could any woman not be scared of what could happen if they do protest against men.

You cupped her face as you looked into her eyes "Natasha Romanoff, I promise you that I will protect you from their filthy mouths"

She smiled, this time it met her eyes which caused you to smile. You crushed on Natasha for a long time and promised yourself that when the time was right you would tell her but each time it was harder to do so.

Her and Bruce at the time were something but when she decided to break it off, you were there for her you told her she didn't need to tell you the reason to why she decided that but reassured her that it was probably a good reason to do so.

Now you are holding her face as her eyes are locked with yours, you could feel those butterflies in your stomach raise up "I will be your knight in casual clothes because armour isn't my style"

She laughed with her whole heart, causing you to laugh as well "Gosh I love you.."

You froze at her words, and so did she, her eyes widen at her words but she knew there was no way out of this so she pulled her sleeve and started to fidget with it.

Your hands were on her face but dropped at those words, you stood still trying to understand what just happened, she continued as she looked down "I hope that's okay but I love you Y/n"

You couldn't believe your ears, the woman who always had trouble opening up, right now was vulnerable with her whole heart to you and you was stuck, frozen as you stared at her.

"I never had anyone stand up for me the way to did today, I started to realise that I had feelings that one day when you were near to death on that mission" She was still fidgeting with her sleeve.

"It's okay if you don't feel the same way but you just needed to know.." She confessed, she was standing in front of you holding her heart out in her hands, offering you to take it.

You smiled whole heartily as you looked into her eyes when you pulled her face by her chin "It's more than okay Tasha"

Your hands dropped to her hips as you pulled her in closer to you "Because I love you too"

That look in her eyes, you could see that she had those butterflies too, her eyes locked with yours, she tilted her head slightly to the side and crashed her lips against yours.

Her hands were placed on the back of your neck pulling you deeper into her kiss, you slowly backed her into the wall and when her back hit the wall, she gasped which you used the opportunity to slide your tongue inside her mouth.

The kiss became heated real quick, forgetting that the two of you were still in the public place, only when someone cleared their throat, make the two of you look where the sound came from.

Natasha hid her face in the crook of your neck as she quietly laughed at how awkward that is, you pulled yourself away from her as you looked in the direction of Tony, who looked at you with pure disgust.

"As if you never done this, but sorry you had to witness..." You rolled your eyes at him at first but looked over at Natasha who was still leaning on the wall "This"

She smiled as she intertwined her hand with yours and tugged it to pull you out of the living room, the two of you made it to her room but it wasn't long before you reclaimed her lips with your own.

This time it was a little bit more gentle, you backed her up to the bed as the back of her leg hit the bed frame, before you pushed her back and claimed on top of her.

The only light was the moonlight that was shining through the blinds, you kissed her passionately and redirected your kisses down to her neck, she moved her face to the side giving you more access to her neck.

You left marks as you slightly stank your teeth in but sucked the spot right after, earning a few small moans from the redhead beneath you, she was slowly turning into a mess but she managed to slightly pull you away.

"Don't you have a lot of work?" She asked a little worried but lust was more visible.

"It can wait" You declared as you looked into her eyes "Are you sure you want this?"

She smiled at you being caring and asking for consent "I want this детка (baby)"

You smirked as you placed a soft kiss on her lips and returned to her neck, giving it a couple more kisses and slowly moving down, the only thing that stopped you was the material of her clothes.

She slightly lifted herself off as you pulled her shirt off, exposing her upper body, you looked at her in admiration, her eyes had slight doubt across them but you were quick to reassure her.

"You are beautiful Tasha" You meant every word that came out of your mouth.

There was a blush across her cheeks as she smiled at you, your hand reached for the back of her bra as you unhooked it and pulled it off her.

You took couple of seconds to admire the view before attaching your mouth to her nipple, she bit her bottom lip to prevent her from moaning.

Your free hand glued itself to the other breast, giving it the same amount of attention as your mouth did, you moved your lips to her ear as your hand kept playing with her now hard nipple.

"I want to hear you Natty" You whispered into her ear and with that Natasha moaned into your ear causing a small smirk to settle on your lips.

You continued to kiss down her body until you reached the bottom of her stomach, you looked up at her to see if she was okay, she nodded to give you the confirmation.

You pulled her shorts off along with her underwear, exposing the bottom half of her body, you could smell her arousal which only fuel you on.

You teased her as you kissed her inner thigh, leaving marks there as well, you would from time to time lock eyes with her. You moved closer to her pussy, teasing her with your tongue causing some frustrated moans to escape her mouth.

Her hips would buck as you would teasingly lick her wet folds, she looked down at you as her eyes were consumed with lust "Please Y/n! Just fuck me already"

That's all you needed to hear before you attached your mouth to her dripping pussy, giving her clit the attention first as the more louder moans escaped her mouth.

You gripped her with your hands as your tongue worked it's magic against her hard clit, she was gripping the bed sheets as moans were spilling out of her lips, not caring if anyone heard.

You moved one of your hands as you slipped one of your fingers inside her and without letting her adjust you started to thrust into her, the feeling of pleasure was building up quickly in the bottom of her stomach with each thrust.

"Oh god" Those were the only words she managed to choke out, she was soaked which stoked up your own arousal along with her moans.

Her hips were quick to match your pace as you thrusted, bringing her closer and closer, you pushed the second finger inside and this time you curled the two fingers, hitting her spot all over again.

One of her hands gripped your arm as her nails dug into your skin, the other hand was still tightly gripping the bedsheet, her head was thrown back as you came up to her face.

Your pace of your fingers never slowing down but thrusting harder and fast "Let me show you how you should be treated instead darling.."

You kissed her lips as she moaned, you moved back down as you felt her walls tighten, knowing she was about to cum. You pushed your fingers even deeper into her, her breathing was heavy letting out low and loud moans.

You watched as the orgasm consumed Natasha with your name falling freely from her lips, you slowed down your thrusts to let her ride out her orgasm, holding her steady pulling your fingers out of her as you licked her clean, and moved back up to her lips.

Kissing her as she slightly moaned at the taste of herself into the kiss, you pulled away from her as she was still breathing heavily, staring into your eyes with a smile.

"Now it's your turn" She spoke in between breathes.

You shook your head "Not today darling, today's focus is you.."

You stripped yourself naked as you pressed your warm body against Natasha, glaring at the marks you left and holding her tight in your arms as she slowly calmed down from her high.

You were sure in this moment that you wanted to hear her moan your name till the rest of your life, it was the music to your ears and you didn't want it any other way.

⸻⸻⋙☸⋘⸻⸻

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#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff #black widow #natasha fluff

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kodzukyan · 4 years ago

Text

better with you (until it kills me)

notes: it's always missing baji hours here </3 fluff, angst; alternative ending: always, always you

summary: four times you think you are in love with baji keisuke, and the one time you tell him.

wc: 3.7k

You're reasonably sure the only reason he chooses you to pair up with for the Japanese literature project is that you sit next to him, but it surprises you all the same. You don't think you have much of a presence in class, but you don't think you can say the same about your new partner, Baji Keisuke.

His slicked-back ponytail and thick frames make his presence seem like a poindexter, but there's something about his bruised knuckles and his fierce aura that makes him feel ferocious. You've noticed him hang out with the school delinquent on multiple occasions. You also think you've seen him laugh wildly as he beats up some of the local thugs who crowded around the said delinquent he's friends with.

He isn't who you expect him to be at first glance, and that intrigues you more than you like to admit. You're too nervous to openly ask, so you settle for stealing glances at him from the corner of your eyes.

So, when he really decides on you and submits the partner form, you don't know what to think.

In the time that you two are partners, you've discovered a couple of things about him. First, his handwriting and kanji absolutely suck. Despite that, he writes a letter addressed to someone named Kazutora every week without fail. As if that isn't endearing enough, it gets even more so when he pouts at the complex characters that he often gets wrong and the inevitable smile that breaks out whenever you show him how to write them correctly.

("Oh, thanks! I would probably fail my kanji tests without you and Chifuyu. Kazutora probably can't even understand what I'm saying," he laughs rambunctiously.)

Second, he's genuinely an unexpectedly good partner in terms of being punctual about meeting up. However, despite being on time, there is little progress on the project. Your work times often end up in discussions about random life topics rather than the project itself.

(“Do you like cats?” he asks out of the blue one day, head on the table and books already forgotten.

“Uh, yeah, I guess so,” you humor him because you’re also tired of researching Japanese literature.

“Wanna see my cats? They’re all strays,” he sits up suddenly, eyes lit and smile bright.

You nod, and he proceeds to take out his phone to show you pictures of his cats. You note his lock-screen is a picture of all his cats, and his camera roll is just full of his friends and mom, motorcycles, and the said cats. With shining eyes full of excitement, he tells you their names and their personalities in detail.

"Do you think cats recognize their names but choose to ignore us whenever we call them?" he resumes the conversation after he finishes showing you his gallery. He leans back as he balances his pencil on top of his pursed lips.

"Maybe. Depends on the cat? Maybe they just hate you?" you mimic his pose. You suppose thirty minutes of work is enough progress for the day.

"Ouch," he grimaces as if it shatters him directly in the heart.)

Third, sometimes he comes with his hair down and without his glances, with stains on his clothes that he claims are ketchup, despite it not smelling like that at all.

("Uh, hey, sorry I'm late today," he offers sheepishly as he runs a hand through his unbound hair.

"Oh, it's okay," you finally say after you take in his shaggy appearance. You try not to think about how handsome he is despite the bruises forming on his face. "Are you… okay?"

"All good! The ketchup bottle just randomly exploded," he laughs nervously and awkwardly. "Anyways!! The project!!"

You stare at him dubiously but nod anyway. "Okay, if you say so…")

Fourth, he has an extremely charming smile, especially when his fangs are in full display. To some, it may look fierce and menacing; to you, it looks cute, especially when his eyes are always brimming with life and his laugh is full of vitality.

More often than not you catch yourself staring at him because he's just so intriguing.

You try to ignore your racing heart when your stolen glances become shared ones, and he flashes you a grin softer than the smiles you've seen.

-----

“Uh, hi.” You say shyly as you enter through Baji’s window. It’s not frequently you seek out Baji at his own home, especially through the window he keeps open almost exclusively for stray cats to seek shelter.

“What the fuck?” Baji drops the stray cat he's cuddling as you give a slight wave, causing the cat to meow loudly at the sudden change in demeanor.

“Sorry to drop by unannounced. I, uh, just wanted some company.”

You feel vanishingly small as you awkwardly laugh and piece together some words that make sense. Home is supposed to be full of warmth, but your home is more of a house with people than a home with love. It’s a truth you’ve long accepted, but some days, it feels a little extra cold.

Therefore, you run, and somehow you end up here, in the comforts of Baji’s room.

Maybe you are currently a stray cat, feeling a little more lost than found. Maybe you find that he’s the sort of comfort that warms you a little when your heart feels heavy. Maybe you are just a little bit in like with him, and he is the first person you want to see whenever you’re feeling down.

The room is silent aside from the soft paps of cats moving around and the periodic meow. Then, he pats the spot next to him, and you make your way there. As soon as you sit down, he hands you a cat.

“Here, hold her. She’s nice,” he comments as he places the calico cat he dropped earlier in your lap, petting her as she adjusts to her new position on you.

She narrows her eyes and softly purrs in your lap as Baji pets her, and this makes you feel more in the moment than in your head like you’ve been. Your initial baffle turns into a smile as she purrs louder when you pet her, and just like that, you feel a little more found than lost.

You lean on his shoulder as you continue petting the calico cat in your lap. You keep your eyes on her as she climbs onto his lap and nuzzles him in an attempt to hide your burning cheeks and your drumming heart from your proximity.

“Thanks for giving me a home when I don’t want to be in my own,” you tell him softly, airly, almost as if you’re letting him in on a secret.

He stops playing with the cats for a moment and pauses. Feeling his intense stare, you peek through your lashes up at him. His broad grin and sharp canines are in full display, and his smile looks a little more boyish than wild. He tousles your hair as he laughs aloud boisterously before he props his head on top of yours.

“You’ll always have a home here.”

-----

It all started when a group of thugs looked at you inappropriately and made some comments that made you uncomfortable. You grip the ends of his sleeve just a little harder and press yourself behind him, trying to make yourself impossibly small. Baji, seeing your small form and downcast eyes, removes your hand from his sleeve and places it in his hand. Knowing Baji and him knowing you and your every mood, he does not stand for it. He simply flashes you a reassuring grin before he squeezes your hand and runs straight at them.

He throws the first punch, and you could just stand there in shock as he pummels through them and beats them up. He has cuts and bruises everywhere, and you’re certain he’s taken on a few nasty hits on his ribs. Though you’re equally confident that these thugs are absolutely 100% in worse shape than he is.

“Oh my god,” you sob frantically as Baji wobbles back to you, ferocious smile on his face softens as he sees you. He pats your head when he notes your teary eyes. You’re not even sure when you start crying, but the tears just don’t seem to stop. “Are you okay? Oh my god, I’m so sorry. Are you -”

He clutches your tear-stained face in his hands, “Look at me.”

Your eyes meet his, but you can barely see him over your tears as you continue your incoherent rambling.

“Hey,” he tries once more, voice more frantic as he struggles to find words. He finally just squishes your cheeks and yells, “Do you think I care about anything else but you right now?”

Your eyes widen, and the tears forming fall freely onto his hands. Oh, oh, oh, you think to yourself as your beating heart rapidly thumps at an exponential speed, maybe he’s also falling. When you meet his steady gray eyes, the shocking realization that maybe you’re not the only one dumb and possibly in love stops your tears.

He sighs in relief when your tears gradually stop, and as if all the tiredness accumulated in his body hit him all at once, he falls down onto the ground.

You try to catch him as best as you can, and with the combined effort of mostly himself and partially you, he breaks his fall. He lays sprawled out on the ground. After you check for wounds and find none too serious, you sit with your knees tucked under you by where he lays and moves his head onto your lap.

All around you are the battered bodies of the thugs you’ve encountered, but all you can see at the moment is him and his gray eyes that disappear into crescent moons as he flashes you a grin. He’s too tired to move, but he raises a fist up into the air in victory anyway.

“I got you.”

-----

"Wanna go on a ride?" he texts you.

It’s almost midnight when he texts you, and it’s probably way past when you should stay up. But your heart flutters at the thought of adventure, at the thought of him, so you quickly respond, “Okay, but be quiet! Don't wake my parents up again, stinky!!!”

You can already imagine his sheepish smile when he sends you a "that was once!!! my bad" back.

After sending him a quick ":p", you silently put on some clothes more fitting to go out than your pajamas. The sound of his motorcycle announces his greater-than-life presence long before his text does. Grabbing two scrunchies, you sneak out your window.

He only greets you with a goofy smile and a wave, hair free-flowing in the wind. Under the moonlight, his gray eyes twinkle with vigor and youth. It knocks the air out of your lungs as you glance at him because he's beautiful, ethereal, and alive. He smiles smugly when he catches your stare, but he holds his hand out for you to take.

"Hi," you whisper under the twinkling stars as you put your hand in his.

"Hey," he whispers back as he curls his fingers around your hand before adjusting to interlace your fingers together.

The quietness and intimacy of this moment drown out the world - the sound of cars driving by, of cicadas flying, of the world standing still. The only thing keeping you from floating is his hand and the sound of your heartbeat.

"I got you a hair tie." You offer softly with an equally soft smile, eyes pointing to the scrunchies on your wrist.

"I got you a hoodie," he responds as he nods to his motorcycle. "Because I knew your dumb ass would, once again, forget to dress for the winds."

"I'm dressed decently enough. You, though… please tie your hair… It hurts like hell when it whips in my face," you laugh lightly.

He rolls his eyes. "That's also what you said last time before you ended up stealing my hoodie, and I ended up being cold!" he complains, but there's a certain fondness in his voice.

You only stick your tongue out childishly at him. You would rather bite your tongue than admit that you are always slightly underdressed for the occasion so he would keep giving you his hoodies.

He tugs your interlaced hand and pulls you closer, and as you stand so close to him, you think close isn't quite close enough. The two of you linger in that position for longer than what should be appropriate for friends, but you think you have been tiptoeing around that line for a while now. Your heart races, and you're sure your erratic heart is beating fast enough to generate heat to keep you warm against the cold winds.

He pulls away first, moving to grab his hoodie before he roughly puts it on you. He laughs when you complain about your ruffled hair, but as his hoodie and scent engulf you, you could only shyly smile. He takes a scrunchie despite complaining about how poofy it is. As he settles in his bike and you settle in behind him, arms tight around his waist, you think this is probably what holding the universe in your arms feels like.

He rives his bike loudly despite your warning, but you find that you could care less right now as he takes off. You are young and dumb, but the wind is running through your hair as the two of you are chasing the moon, and it makes you feel so alive. Neon lights and starlit skies blur together as he speeds through familiar roads, and the brisk winds drown out your loud laughter. It feels like you're feeling everything at once, but your head is so clear.

You think you can understand why he loves riding so much because the only thing that you can hear is your loud heartbeat, and the only thing that matters is you're living.

He finally stops at a local 24-hour diner. The moonlight shines through the window by your table. You are still feeling the wild wind in your hair, cold air on your face, and the warmth of Baji’s back on your arms. It's way past midnight now, and the yellow lights of the diner feel a little more homey than dingy. He’s munching on some fries, occasionally waving one in your face whenever he’s trying to make a point about something. As you watch the various expressions on his face, a smile makes its way to your face.

“Hey Keisuke,” you grab a fry and jab it at him in the middle of his sentence. He stops his mid-word as he stares at you, head tilting slightly and mouth still gaping. There is a particular word that you keep thinking of whenever you think of Baji, a feeling that lingers and fills your heart up. You know what it is. You think you know at least, and in moments like these when you’re just watching his goofy self munching on fries while boisterously laughing at something dumb, all you can think of is those four letters.

“You’re my best friend,” you whisper before you eat your fry. Best friend, you think, encompasses a lot of things and feelings as you stare at his childlike grin, heart fluttering and mind blanking because all you see is him. You hope he knows, hope he gets that best friend is a loose term because he is so much more.

When he meets your eyes and his gray eyes crinkle in mirth and laughter rolls off his lips, you think he does.

“I know,” he smugly nods before he drops another fry into his mouth. “I guess you’re pretty cool too.”

You stick your tongue out at him and feel a warmth in your heart that matches the pinks of his cheeks. Maybe it’s adrenaline still in your blood, maybe it’s the moment, but it makes you devious, brave even, as you lean over and chomp down on the fry he's holding.

He stares at you with his mouth wide open, looking absolutely flabbergasted and offended. “Hello? That was my last fry!”

“Sorry,” you giggle, not feeling all that sorry at all. You know he’s not truly that offended because he has that stupid grin on his face, because he’s always soft with you. A part of you does feel a little sorry when you see the small pout that arises on his face. “I’ll treat you to yakisoba later?”

He turns away from you, face still slightly sulky as he huffs silently.

“No? You don’t want yakisoba?” you ask. You still find it amusing that Baji Keisuke, the first division captain of the Toman Gang who would punch someone on the streets for no reason other than just because he feels like it, is pouting because you stole his last fry. If anyone from any rival gangs sees Baji Keisuke now, they probably wouldn’t believe this is the same person.

“Fine,” he huffs softly, “But don’t think one yakisoba is enough.”

“Then,” you begin, your heart pounding loudly in your chest as you work up the courage, “What about this?”

He turns to you in confusion, and before your courage runs out on you, you crash your lips onto his before you pull away.

“Repayment,” you mutter meekly, eyes avoiding his because you’re sure he can feel the heat radiating off your cheeks from where he’s sitting.

“Hey,” he tugs on your hand under the table. When you finally look at him, he continues, “Just one isn’t enough.”

He kisses you again.

-----

Home is supposed to be the place you come from, but you think it's more like a place you find, pieced together from scattered bits of feelings, emotions, people along the way. Somewhere along the lines, home becomes less of a place and more of a person. Your home becomes the boy with the sharp canines and long hair that gets tangled by the stray cats he keeps, the "I love you" declared loudly with kisses and the longing looks in between, the comfortable warmth of his body next to yours as you chase sunsets and live in your own infinity. Your home is Baji Keisuke and the constant image of him in your mind and the infinite pieces of him in your heart.

Infinity, though, is awfully short, you think, as you see him lay surrounded by bouquets, eyes closed in eternal slumber. He's always looked good in white, but when his tan complexion is nearly as pale as the white roses surrounding him, you think white is an awful color on him. His eyes always shine with possibilities and promises, and while you've always joked that his sleeping face is cute because he always looks so innocent, adorable even, all you want now is to see him awake.

His heroism and love for his friends are always something that you love about him, but in turn, it feels so incredibly cruel to you now. For as short as he has been in your life, he becomes pieces embedded so deeply in it that it makes you whole. You cannot imagine a world where there is no Baij, where he isn’t there to punch a hooligan on the streets or feed stray cats at night or hold you when your world is crashing. You cannot imagine a life where he isn’t here to shine a bright light in your life without his laughter and goofy personality. Suddenly the world blurs around you, and you can't breathe as droplets of water hit your clenched hands on your lap.

You hold his hands. Cold, cold, cold, when they used to be warm enough to light a fire in you. There are so many things you want to tell him, say to him, but the speech you prepare in your head drowns in silence as your voice gives out on you. All the words in your head just come out as broken sobs. You feel the sympathetic and equally broken glance of his mom as she embraces you, but all you can think about is that he won’t open his eyes.

Baji Keisuke has always been bigger than life, you think, because he becomes a part of everything in your life. There are traces of him everywhere - him with his cats on your lock-screen, the random memes he sends you at night, the little notes he leaves you written in his ugly penmanship with love. When you think of these things, you feel like your heart is breaking all over again.

People tell you to be strong, and while you want to retort because how can you when he’s gone?, you find that you cannot say a word without crying. You’re tired of crying too because your eyes are already so, so raw, but it seems like all you can do is cry. When you think you've finally run out of tears and your tears finally stop, a new batch takes over even at the slightest things that remind you of him. You feel so pathetic because you can't do anything without water leaking from your eyes, and you hate yourself for being so weak.

You tune out the somber tone of his friends and the broken tone of his mom because you don't want to accept a reality where he isn't here. But luck is never on your side because he never opens his eyes again, and you never get to tell him how much you love him. All you get are flashbacks and memories of him and emptiness in your heart and soul. You tell yourself you have to be strong and smile and live for the both of you, but you can't. Not when he isn't here, not when he isn't with you anymore. Every time you think about that fact, your heart breaks again.

"Hey, stupid," your broken sobs ring loudly in the deafening silence, "I love you."

The words you’ve wanted to tell him for so long are finally in the open, but there is no answer.

#baji keisuke x reader #keisuke baji x reader #baji x reader #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers x y/n #tokrev x reader #baji fluff #baji angst #tokyo revengers imagines #tokyo revengers fluff #tokyo revengers angst #i... i just really miss baji :(#come home you stinky head </3 #i'm sorry if he's ooc :(( in my head he's just really dorky and soft w his s/o HAHA #rissa told me to make it angst so i made it angst 👍#sometimes i write things

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