#ive put too much effort into this to not tag it
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
y’know what. what scents do the ibvs boys wear.
RUBS HANDS TOGETHER
So when i originally picked out colognes for the ibvs boys, i just kind of went off whatever i knew at the time instead of actual fragrance profiles and categories, which led to them all only being somewhat well aligned and just. not well organized all in all, but the SECOND time i did it, i actually made a chart of the fragrance categories and sorted the ibvs boys by seasons (fragrances are seasonal for anyone who didnt know) so i could align the notes easier; so, in my opinion:
Isaac is an autumn and leans towards woody orientals and, to a lesser degree, floral oriental; Edward is a summer and leans towards aquatic and citrusy notes; Drew could be an autumn or a spring and leans towards woody and soft oriental notes; Nevin is an autumn or a winter and leans towards orientals and soft orientals, Chris is a spring or a winter and leans towards dry woods and aromatics (and probably gourmands tbh), and Barry is a spring who leans towards greens and citruses. good lord that was a lot but were not done yet because i have a few actual colognes picked out for some of them :)
Santal 33 for Isaac; simple and woody, a little spicy and a little floral; not super complex, but this fragrance is super iconic amongst fragrance lovers.
Black Phantom for Chris; I can't NOT give a gourmand cologne for Chris. That would be borderline criminal. The notes of alcohol and tobacco align quite nicely with his daddy issues if i do say so myself. (Also, Ky mentioned ages ago that Chris would be the coffee lover of the boys, and i just remembered that years later)
Kingdom of Dreams for Nevin; When i fucking tell you it took me 7 million years to find a good smoky cologne for Nevin. Jesus H Christ. Anyways. Warm, earthy, and smoky notes just give me an image of either a bonfire or a ritual in the deepest part of the woods gone horribly wrong. either way, it's fitting for him, and i love it.
Light Blue for Barry; One of. the hottest colognes I've ever had the pleasure of smelling. 100% a Hot Guy cologne, I, too, would trust my darkest secrets and personal information to a guy if he was wearing this. 10/10 I would wear it, but unfortunately, it's not a fragrance for me.
Acqua di Gio for Edward; A very, VERY popular cologne, truly iconic, he is the moment, i swear to god 90% of guys have owned this cologne at some point, but it is popular for a reason. I think it would he hilarious if Felix also wore this simply because it fits almost every category of guy.
and lastly, Dead Sexy for Drew; The fragrance notes on that image simply say "woody," so you would assume the vanilla and sweet notes would be dominant ones, but this 100% smells like moss on decaying trees in the most Drew way imaginable. I can not believe this wasn't tagged with aromatic because that is absolutely the best way to describe it. It smells like how the sun dries the moss on old trees after days of heavy rain, and it's one of my favorites.
Thank you for coming to my TedTalk, this has been Chris Combining His Hyperfixations Together Like Playdough.
#stfu chris#ibvs#ive put too much effort into this to not tag it#chrisdom#also these are not price based whatsoever#thank you. for this ask. because I have thought about this for MONTHS#LIKE A YEAR IF WE COUNT THE OLD LIST#ill think about the jock colognes as well#they were on my old list and the only one i still agree with is James wearing Sauvage because thats just a basic Bad Boy cologne#theres no way any of them except maybe barry would spend over $80 on cologne#versace pour homme is also good for ed. i also have like 3 other ones picked for chris because i couldnt make up my mind#fragrance
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
@chormine-mutacerta
buddy, help me, your designs.... they are such a chefs kiss.... I hope I did okay with an outfit for Nessa.
#art fight#you know what im actually also gonna say the tag#gift art#because i maybe put in more time bc i like certa and her designs and like ... yeah man#more effort mighta been given this time#anyway i love your designs and they are so fun and my hand is now cramping bc i had to rush because of a thunder scare#and then the thunder stopped before i finished but i mighta rushed a tiny bit on some coloring but i did try!#also i didnt think to ask about posting to tumblr but ive posted art ive done for your ocs before so im assuming#it is safe to do ? if not uhhhhhh i uhhh can delete and just not have art for today on the tumbles#but my hand hurts too much to draw anything else rn so im hoping its ok
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hmmmm DMC headcannons 3!!!!
This one's a bit wordy
☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆
• Dante and Vergil are the type of twins that when they are close by, are touching in any way possible. Sitting together? Dante is leaning on Vergil. Standing together? Vergil has his arm resting on Dantes shoulder. Walking together? They keep bashing into eachothers side. They can spend time apart (obviously) but when they are close there is always some form of contact.
• Nero felt phantom pains where his hand used to be, but when his arm grew back they kind of just became ordinary pains. He wasn't sure if it was a side affect of growing a whole ass arm back or something but he was happy when they went away.
• I kind of think Kyrie would have depression. I mean she went through a lot and lost her parents and brother but she lived, so I feel like she would have survivors guilt but due to constantly being busy she wouldn't really have the time to process it. It's a sad headcannon but I feel like it just seems right :(((
• On a bit of a lighter note, I feel like Kyrie would have a good support system though. I mean she has Nero obviously, but also I think she would have Lady, Trish and Dante there for her and eventually Vergil too.
• Talking about Trish, Lady and Dante. I feel like Lady and Trish would go shopping Bayonetta 2 style, and have Dante carry all their stuff around. (He gets compensated for his work when they stop at a Cafe and he gets a parfait, although he doesnt mind helping his friends)
• Nero has a huge sweet tooth, but because of the kids, he can't keep anything to satisfy his need for sugar around long enough. Vergil likes to buy him sweet stuff though as a form of peace offering. He's found Nero likes Lemon Sherbets, Sour patch kids, and controversially, Liquorice.
• Vergil likes Hotpot and Shabu Shabu. I don't know, I just feel this in my soul.
• Dante is jealous that Vergil gets a tail and he doesn't. Vergil is jealous Dante's horns are fancier than his. They are both content with the wings that they have. (Also vergil has long skinny fangs with sharp teeth and Dante has wider, stubbier (but still as equally sharp) fangs with more "human" teeth)
#thats it!#im writing this waiting in a car dealership#mum might buy a new car#but i like the old one#i had fun writing this though#i made myself sad with kyries part#i know its falling into the “giving a character trauma in place of a personality” trope but its all she has so im working with what i got#so tired ive been in this place for 2 hourrs#free meeee#ive got some vergil art to post soon so yeah#but my art flops more than my headcannons so please#please look at my art#i put too much effort in#ANYWAYS THATS IT#enjoy!!!#devil may cry#dmc#vergil#dante#nero#lady#trish#kyrie dmc#devil may headcannon#that'll be the headcanon tag#someones probably already thought of it
92 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Crane Wives - Allies or Enemies
#i feel like someone should've gotten this idea already but uh#ive put too much effort into this to care#lego monkie kid#lmk#lmk macaque#lmk six eared macaque#lmk sun wukong#i won't tag it as shadowpeach but they can be read both as platonic and romantic(or qpr)
257 notes
·
View notes
Text
radfem help !!
2 of my little cousins (14yrs and 15yrs) are both girls dating boys right now, and together we are coming up with a "dealbreaker list" of things they will never put up with from their bfs! and also we are including positives, like so they aren't just looking for the absence of bad things, but actual positive things
what do yall think are the most important things to add? (i put extra info in tags)
Thank you so much!!!
#I dont want it just to be “he doesn't hit me” as that's super important but they could end up with awful boys who don't hit them and still#mistreat them. there are certain vulnerabilities that make me worry the most for them. Ive been writing under the deal breakers like exampl#of how it would manifest like things they might say or how they might behave so that way in the moment there will hopefully not be as much#time spent questioning if it counts as a deal breaker. we want to do positives too so like I said in the post it's not just like "he doesn'#put me down“ but also ”he roots for me and encourages me and verbalizes it“.#they are 14/15 so I'm less focused on stuff related to like splitting domestic labor for example but I think a good translation could#be like “he spends as much time as I do planning dates” and “it's clear to me that he put a lot of thought into my birthday gift” or the li#anyway I know they are safer without dating boys (and for the record they both know I do not date men (and only one knows I am SSA) but#they ARE dating and it's much more practical and realistic to reduce harm here since they are doing it!#also this is obviously not the extent of my effort in making sure they are safe and well and not reliant on boys/men;#this list is just one small part!!!#thanks so so much! and if you don't know please share bc maybe someone else has advice! ty!!!#radfem#radical feminist safe#radblr#sex based oppression#mvawg#question tag
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
"my education is my highest priority" everything returns to vocaloid
#delete later#shitpost#vocaloid#?? idk i might keep it up. yes ik turning off rbs is a thing now technically but i always keep forgetting and also naaaah.#i might go edit proper tags in later just bc i dont this to show up in main pages but i needdddddd the organization on here#i made this a while back procrastinating on a linguistics reading and then never posted it#AND THE CIRCLE IS COMPLETE BC IM POSTING IT NOW WHILE PROCRASTINATING ON ANOTHER LINGUISTICS READING LMAOO#dudeee i gotta lock in. oh my god. its so bad up in here triple assault. i cant focus on SHIT. WHY DO I ALWAYS GET IDEAS WHEN IM BUSY AHGHH#this might be revealing a bit too much info but pls this is legit what happened LMAOO 😭🥴#we're starting ipa alphabet stuff now and im like 'hey i already know you...' from phoneme fuckery ive had to do for voca shitposts#knowing linguistics is cool cause u get to dissect what makes languages work and i thought that'd be genuinely helpful for things#like i plan to do more english/spanish translation work specifically so yuh. but also I KNOW internally in my heart...#despite trying to give the professional justifications I KNOW my stupid ass is secretly just absorbing all this knowledge for voca purposes#my brand of shitposting goes against the very origin of the word since 'shitposting' originally refers to very low effort low quality memes#so there's been a semantic shift in definition even outside of mine but i still think its really funny. i put a lot of genuine hard work#into making stupid little jokes to amuse primarily myself and maybe anyone else who finds it on the internet. so yea#no but genuinely though its unironically incredible how much shit i've learned direct or indirectly for vocaloid shitposting purposes
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Doomed yaoi once again for pride 🫵 🏳️🌈
#genuinely cannot tell if that looks like aikawa but we ball ig#its about a year since i did the last risukawa doodle.. feel like maybe ive improved a bit... i still really like that drawing tho its cute#anyways couldve put more effort into this one but recovering from being in daycamp and dont really care as much about putting my all into#it since its fanart#also my phone is an ass and likes to wash everything out might repost later with fixed values#dorohedoro#drhdr#traditional art#artists on tumblr#my art#aikawa#dorohedoro aikawa#aikawa dorohedoro#aikawa drhdr#dorohedoro risu#risu dorohedoro#risukawa#dorohedoro kai#tagging that bastard too sorry#my hatred for kai is v strong him being sexy will not stop it. aikawa is better tbh#happy pride 🌈#gay
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
im.having a moment tonight
#rad1oart#i almost Dont want to tag this in my art tag but i Put too much effort into it Not to#please someone put me Out of my misery#ive been looping karkalicious And i think im hallucinating#erm.
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
welp guess who finally caught up to the bnha manga...
#just finished 423#and im just. sighs#i rememeber why i stopped reading it for so long#such a shame tbh i used to love this series so much and i still adore the earlier stuff and i hope it isnt too tainted for me on reread#but i dont really. think they can come back from this#we're near the end now so i guess ill see where it goes ive already put in the effort to get to this point but. idk.#talk tag#bnha 423#bnha critical#bnha neg#<- for people who block the tags#if you like the recent stuff great then more power to you
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
you guys remember when i was super fucking obsessed with magolor and would doodle him nonstop and frequently dump my egregious amounts of doodles onto here . fun times
and then i had an abrupt switch-up and now my primary fixations are all over the fuckin place
#firn's texts#i do kind of miss drawing magolor as much as i did#but i have this weird brain thing of 'i cant draw a character in a pose ive drawn before because it'll get repetitive and old'#and honestly that might just be a main contributor to me losing character fixations#because my ideas tend to be limited. or they require too much effort or something#so uhh... to the people who were expecting my character fixations to last longer. Oops#this is also probably why ive been getting attached to OCs more . because im the only guy making content for them. oops#ok that's all the ramblings ill put in thr tags
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Feeling a lil vindictive, a lil nasty this morning
So context, my brother had a work do last night and before he left he told my mum he'd becoming back here and doing so alone. So tell me why he called me at 3am when I'm trying to sleep but travel anxiety and says he's bringing two mates back? I tell him he can't I'm leaving at 6 tomorrow he just goes yeah they'll just be passing through your room. No I've gotta get up in 3 hours you can't be keeping up, yeah it's fine. The fuck it is not
Anyway so my alarm goes off 3 hours later I've barely slept, my brain already woke me up several times prior but that doesn't mean I'm turning my alarms off immediately or getting ready quietly after the prick disturbed my sleep
#Demon Spawn#travel tag#the rest of my siblings got a nice goodbye but im not a morning person on a good night sleep let alone when i havent been able to sleep#like i wouldnt have gotten much sleep regardless because of anxiety but i woulda been able to fall asleep sooner if i hadnt been dragged out#of bed kept awake by the rage induced adrenaline and the sounds of sports being played on tv and chatter in the next room#and hes gonna spend all day in bed anyway so i dont feel guilty particularly when hes had guests over constantly for the two weeks ive been#home which denies me access to the ensuite and kitchenette thats accessible from his room and he constantly keeps me awake#i dont get to enjoy my comfy non student accommodation bed because the fcker never lets me go to sleep and my mum wont let me sleep in#i did fix my sleep schedule minutely was getting tired at 12 instead of 2am from where i fcked it during assignment season so small mercies#had to wake my littlest brothers up to say goodbye and the babby started crying 😢 my mum wanted me to wake her and the baby up too#but the baba was still half asleep and definitely not processing that i was leaving 😂 she was so unbothered guarantee ill have to facetime#my dad dropped me to the bus stop and hes as bad at small talk and emotionally constipated as me but he was just coming back from a night#shift so i appreciate that that was him putting in extra effort and him checking i had enough money is as close to sentiment as he can do#everyone else? cute goodbye. my sister was already awake when i got up to the house pretty sure she had an alarm set.....#my oldest younger brother? i hope the hangover sucks
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
youtube
yes i know it was also the lard beepus 6 year anniversary yesterday too.
#dbz#dragon ball#dragon ball z#dbz oc#dragon ball oc#Fuck it this is going in ALL the tags i put too much effort into this silly nonsense.#LBCM#the story of lard beepus#animations#draws#2023#oc: comic mischief#oc: lard beepus#oc: WHISper#rapid movement#blood#I Guess#This is the longest ''animation'' content ive put on my channel and the first in years.#oc: clavicle#Just remembered hes in there very briefly
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok so i hit 30 tags pretty early so i wanted to add extra thoughts under here i am SOOO SORRY OMFG ITS SO MUCH 😭😭 GOD
attempt 1 at reading - thoughts:
i love how you wrote the nervousness and hesitation of both reader and atsumu ): this relationship feels so genuine and realistic, like every thought is so real and complex and it all just plays out soooo vividly in my head. i can literally feel every single thing in MY SOUL. it got me holding my breath, my heart racing, my stomach churning
the kiss . the first kiss where mr suna interrupted . when i tell you i read it like this >//////< EXCEPT MY HAND WAS CLASPED SO TIGHTLY OVER MY MIUTH. oh my god the reaction i had. it really felt like a first kiss all over again, i was genuinely WARM and all blushy
attempt 2 at reading - thoughts:
i loved how u wrote out the tension again .. and your characterization for all of them ?? kita being all observant? osamu being all curious ?
the emotional rollercoaster i am on in this chapter is crazy. i took my first break after suna interrupted (the kiss killed me), and im taking my second break right after atsumu confesssd (i was killed a second time). i was irritated during the cafe bc WHY r u avoiding me, and then the next second i’m like squealing 😭 the way that u write yue !! the way that u write . i am such a mess right now give me another moment
attempt 3 at reading - thoughts:
holy shit this scene . the kissing ? THE AAY YOU DESCDIBED IT from the first kiss ?? this one made my stomach FLIP omfg .
oh god the neck kisses . the .. the everything . my left leg has goosebumps idk why it’s only my left leg am i okay yue ? am i okay what’s wrong with me
i have a little ways to go i’m almost done but i need yet another break holy shit i have been reduced to a dizzy lil mess what have i become
attempt 4 at reading - thoughts:
oh my god ): oh my god ): what am i even supposed to say here. i love how u wrote the smut part ?? it feels like actual love ? he is so sweet pls
osamu interrupting had me jolting upright BECAUSE SUNA FIRST NOW OSAMU ? is kita the next victim ?? poor baby
AGHHH THE ENDING IS SO CUTE i fr feel like im in an anime ): i feel so pretty and so lovely THIS WAS SO LOVELYYY TYSMMM YUE FOR WRITING THIS
v. MISUNDERSTANDINGS
miya atsumu x f!reader
── next: vi. Epilogue: Sakura sweetness | series masterlist
synopsis: A drunken conversation with Atsumu leads to a cascade of events that has your mind practically exploding with endless questions, and with the way Atsumu has been acting, you want clear answers, and you’ll get them one way or another—even if it meant arguing in the twins’ shared apartment on a late Thursday afternoon.
chapter content warning: college au, mentions of alcohol use, intoxicated characters, cockblocker suna (rip), angst, hurt/comfort, awkward tension, atsumu & reader are dumbasses, arguing, light smut (mdni; nothing too explicit), nsfw, implied unprotected s*x, fluff towards the end yay, kita graduates from uni!, mutual pining, slow burn, requited unrequited love, friends to lovers, not beta read.
word count: 6.1k
notes: AAACKKKK last chapter!! also happy 1 month to this series !! i’m surprised i got to finish this in less than 2 months lmao considering how slow i am w writing :< divider: cafekitsune.
Light. Everything felt light—your head, body, voice, heart.
It felt like all the weight of your shoulders had been lifted, and you could be as carefree as a bird soaring through cerulean skies to be one with the wind. Because right this very moment, nothing mattered at all, not even the fact that you stood before the person you’ve been trying to avoid since the new year rolled around.
Tucked neatly at the back of your mind like a silent reminder, you knew you shouldn’t trust your intoxicated self right now—whether it be your thoughts or feelings but the urge to stop wasn’t there, and you felt extremely optimistic about this—all thanks to the burning alcohol that clouded every bit of your judgement.
Everything felt right.
As you met his caramel gaze, your vision tunnelled, everyone, and everything that surrounded both of you slowly turned into nothing but a mix of hazy hues, upbeat music that spilled from the speakers fading into the distance as you, and Atsumu entered your own world—even the orange-haired male with the bright, doe eyes melted away from your view.
Just you, and Atsumu, exactly how it was supposed to be.
With a bated breath, Atsumu wordlessly nodded, and awaited your next move, as if shackled in a hazy trance. He was fully aware of the thundering heartbeat that rang in his ears, the way his slender fingers ever so slightly dug into the scarlet plastic cup in his hand, cheeks burning with unexplainable emotions.
“Let’s talk somewhere else.”
It took all the effort for Atsumu to ignore the feeling of your bare skin against his, the searing touch of your fingers around his wrist as you hurriedly whisked him away into the intimate space of their kitchen, as if to shield you both from everyone else’s prying eyes. Despite a stained judgement, the blonde was sure no one gave a single damn if you were to talk it out in the living room, everyone was in their own buzz anyway.
Nonetheless, Atsumu let you take the lead, whatever you wanted, he obliged. As though he was floating on cloud nine, his body became lighter with each step taken, head lightly spinning, warmth that radiated from your palm seeped into his flushed skin, prickly, miniature kisses engulfing his body.
“I’m okay now.” Resting your lower back against the ivory granite countertops, you stare up at Atsumu through your lashes, not noticing your lingering fingers curled around his wrist. For a brief moment, your breath hitched, stomach churning at the sight before you. The lighting behind Atsumu made him look like absolute heaven, flaxen strands glowing like the first rays beneath the warm illuminant, casting an ethereal halo at the back of his head. It didn’t help how he stared down as if your eyes held the cosmos in them, completely awestruck.
Whatever, you chalked it up to his intoxicated state. What else could it have been?
For a brief moment, Atsumu wracked his brain for context behind your words, and as the invisible lightbulb atop his head switched on, he was reminded of the situation at hand. It definitely pulled his consciousness into sobriety. Just a tad bit.
“A-are y’sure?” A breathless, almost dainty whisper slipped past his rosy lips. He took note of the way your gaze shifted ever so slightly downwards, eyes crudely lingering on the plush of his bottom lip as his tongue briefly swiped against it.
Atsumu’s Adam’s apple bobbed at your not-so-subtle stare, stomach churning with want. He knew this feeling all too well—it visited him whenever he was alone in his room, mind wandering over to thoughts of you which filled every corner of his mind; sometimes the feeling was too strong, other times he could bear it. Tonight, though, Atsumu wasn’t sure if he was immune to this feeling, let alone erase any impulsive thoughts from his intoxicated mind.
What pulled you into this decision was something you’d never figure out; maybe it was the fact that your yearning heart grew tired of the icy distance between the two of you or maybe you’ve truly come to terms with his unreciprocated feelings—you didn’t know. All you knew was that nothing good ever came out of inebriated conversations, especially when it involved feelings. But this could be an exception, right?
“So . . Does that mean we can be friends again?”
It was weird. Atsumu’s voice brimmed with a sense of hope—as if he’s been waiting for this very moment for the past two weeks—but the strange glint in his caramel eyes betrayed the blonde entirely.
Despite your better judgement, you chalked it up to the warm light that casted a soft shadow upon his features; maybe you were too dizzy to see things clearly, or maybe you were looking too deep into Atsumu’s expression—hoping to find some sort of sadness upon hearing your decision to move on, and accept his rejection.
Atsumu watched as your eyes traced his features, closely observing them as if to find some kind of answer; as selfish as it seemed, the intensity in your eyes gave him a tinge of hope that perhaps you could let yourself pine over him just a little longer because he wasn’t sure what he’d do with the knowledge that your heart would no longer yearn for him.
The situation was a double-edged sword, really.
You let out a puff of breath, “Yeah, of course. We’re friends again.” Friends. That word should have given you more relief than sorrow but could you really blame yourself? It felt like a bitter reminder of cold rejection which resembled salt pressed against an unhealed wound, a searing itch that left your skin feverish.
Even if it meant selling yourself short.
Avoiding his eye contact, you swiftly unwound your fingers from his wrist, mentally cursing yourself for not noticing any sooner. A cold embrace engulfed Atsumu’s wrist, where your fingers were mere seconds ago, he tried his best to ignore how his body yearned for your warmth. He gave a small smile, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes.
For a moment, you stood in each other’s silence like two predators sizing up one another, eagerly waiting for one’s move before pouncing, the silent hum of the fridge making up for the lack of conversation between one another.
How strange, this agreement should have cleared the unsettled air between you, and Atsumu but why did it feel like the complete opposite? As if the air turned into something more uncertain. You both knew you could feel the uncanny tension rising up, up, up but not one dared to address it.
Swiftly burying it under the rug, Atsumu spoke, thinly slicing through your trance, “You’ll find someone better.”
God, he must’ve really matured this new year because he didn’t know how he was able to say that straight to your face. Being one to wear his heart on his sleeve, this was completely foreign for Atsumu—or maybe he just got better at masking his true emotions.
You closed your eyes upon hearing his response, as if doing so would help you brave the weight of his words. It didn’t. That was the last thing you wanted Atsumu to say to you, ‘someone better’, it was brazen of him to think so poorly of himself, as though he wasn’t that certain someone. It was entirely unfair on your end because who was Atsumu to determine which person was for you?
Even just thinking about it had you fuming, rejection was one thing but completely disregarding the reason behind your feelings for him was another because in your eyes, Miya Atsumu was that ‘someone better’; he was the one who understood you the most, the one who always looked out for you, the one you fucking wanted.
And despite your mind telling you to nod along, and suck it up, the alcohol in your body was stronger; so, you opened your eyes, and furrowed your brows at him,
Nothing good ever came out of inebriated conversations.
“But I don’t want anyone better, Tsumu. I want you.”
Atsumu’s eyes widened, the desperation in your voice was something he hadn't heard before, it definitely pulled at his heart, guilt gnawing at his skin for being the sole reason for your drunken actions. He may be drunk but he wasn’t stupid, Atsumu knew you should’ve kept that one to yourself, he could practically see you brimming with temerity but he’d be lying to himself if he said his heart didn’t skip a beat or two.
I want you, too. God, he wanted to say it back badly. The words were lodged in his throat, unable to slip past his lips despite the best efforts to do so.
It dawned on him—right then, and there—the severity of your feelings for him, the immense weight of it. Now, guilt really ate him away; he could only imagine how the past two weeks were for you. Did you cry while thinking about him?
That was the last thing Atsumu wanted.
Though, amidst the guilt, something else blossomed in his chest, it made him feel like he stood upon the highest pedestal. Atsumu didn’t know whether it was pride or greed; as fucked up as it was, he couldn’t bring himself to push the impulsiveness away as though you’ve infected him with your own. His heart hammered at a thought that formed in his mind, even just thinking about it stirred his chest.
Despite Atsumu’s better judgement, he held onto the feeling with a tight grip, and opened his mouth, tongue nervously swiping at the bottom lip,
Nothing good ever came out of inebriated conversations.
“Is . . Is it bad that I really want to kiss you right now?”
You sucked in a breath, heart pounding at Atsumu’s sudden confession. If you were sober, you’d have a million thoughts racing through your mind right now, questioning the feelings he really had for you but unfortunately, only one thing was on your mind—how badly you wanted to kiss Atsumu too.
Dragging yourself further down, down, down the void of uncertainty, you shook your head in a daze,
Nothing good ever came out of inebriated conversations.
“What if I say I want to kiss you, too?”
Barely audible but Atsumu heard it just fine over the pounding of his heart, over the incoherent conversations beyond this kitchen, over the muted bass music because as long as it's you, he’d always listen, even if it meant drowning out the entire world.
Then, there was a heartbeat, a passing second, a dip of a finger to test undisturbed waters; the funny thing was that even a minute disturbance could cause a ripple effect for miles, and miles, awakening the dormant creatures that lay beyond the azure surface.
It was swift, as though Atsumu had been waiting for this very moment to happen—one second you were locked in a trance, the next his lips were pressed against your own, a shared warmth of intimacy searing both bodies in an eternal blaze like a blue flame that dangerously destroyed everything in its path.
Shy. Warm. Soft. Rosy. Like it was meant to be. The list could go on, and on but it was as though your thoughts came quickly before your mind could register them, leaving you in a white, empty haze. With the plastic cups long forgotten on the counter behind, you closed your eyes as Atsumu’s body eagerly pressed against yours, strong arms coming up to rest on the granite countertop behind you, fingers digging into the material to ground himself.
For a moment, everything was still, lips unmoving against each other, a time to bask in this newfound intimacy—the foreignness of one another’s body. The earth felt like it spun on its axis way faster than usual, as if day, and night merged to become one; hues of late dusk, and early dawn intertwined like your bodies.
Bitterness from Atsumu’s rosy lips lingered on your own; you never liked the taste of beer but oddly enough, you didn’t mind it at all.
Your hands cupped Atsumu’s jaw, fingers gently digging onto his soft skin, eager for more as your lips moulded together. Slowly moving his mouth against your own, you followed suit to match the sensual pace he had set, falling deeper, and deeper between the hazy boundaries of friendship, and something a little more. Low whimpers slipped past between each feverish kiss as a drunken greed gradually controlled your bodies.
The initial softness of the kiss dissipated as each second passed, slowly turning into something more carnal, and passionate—breaths becoming heavier, and faces eagerly pressed against one another, angled in a way to grant more access.
Was this what cloud nine felt like? Exhilarating? Euphoric? As though there was no one else—
“Oh!—Holy shit. Did I interrupt?”
A familiar voice violently pulled you, and Atsumu back into reality, swiftly jumping away from each other’s hold, and looking over to the owner of the voice. Suna. The brunette stared at both of you—looking like a deer caught in headlights, chests heaving—his expression was unreadable, almost like a mix of shock, and amusement. You, and Atsumu kissing in the kitchen was absolutely not in his new year bingo card.
Well, this encounter certainly was enough to strip you into sobriety.
Your head spun a little, lungs severely deprived of oxygen. Shame, and realisation settled deep in your bones—shame because Suna just caught you, and Atsumu almost sucking the soul out of each other, and realisation because everything about this whole situation was so wrong; a million questions formulated in your mind as each awkward second passed.
On the other hand, Atsumu was equally as horrified, albeit annoyed that he didn’t have the chance to kiss you longer. The thrumming of his heart pounded in his ears, his mind trying to come up with anything to say just to stop the thoughts formulating in Suna’s mind—oh, he knows that look on his friend’s face very well.
Your view became obstructed by the expanse of Atsumu’s back, a subtle attempt to block you from the brunette’s gaze.
“W-what the hell, Suna?! Don’t jus’ barge into the kitchen, ya scrub!” Atsumu tried his best to act tough but miserably failed with the shakiness in his voice betraying him.
As if to make matters worse, Suna didn’t back down, a smug look painted on his flushed face as the blonde shamelessly blamed him,
“Well, how was I supposed to know that you two were sucking each other’s faces in the kitchen?!”
Did he have to word it like that?
Atsumu opened, and closed his mouth, trying to think of ways to deny Suna’s accusations but his mind went blank, even with just the brunette mentioning your kiss had him blushing like a mad man. Silence yet again occupied the kitchen, low bass music spilled from the speakers, and incoherent chatters from beyond the space making up for the lack of conversation.
Before the situation could get even more awkward, you spoke up, “I . . think I’m just going to go . . ” This gained both their attention, carefully watching as you navigated past Atsumu, and out the kitchen.
The blonde watched as you staggered past him, and Suna; he wanted to go after you, and talk about what just happened but the soles of his feet stayed rooted on the ground, too heavy to lift, even the words he wanted to say were lodged in his throat.
So, Atsumu decided it was best to let you go.
Monday.
Everyone’s enemy but also a day to gather around the campus coffee shop with friends, and be productive for a while. The calming aroma of coffee engulfed your senses; low chatter from other customers, faint jazz music, and the occasional hum of the coffee machine filled the table from the lack of conversation. Despite the café’s light ambience, it didn’t do much to hide the growing tension that surrounded the group, specifically you, Atsumu, and Suna.
Kita was the first to notice the subtle shift of aura that emanated from you three, especially after catching a glimpse of Suna’s narrow eyes trailing from you to Atsumu over his laptop screen; though, he had much more things to worry about than to indulge himself in whatever tomfoolery this was. He’d ask questions later.
On the other hand, Osamu was more than curious, especially after his older twin started acting out of character—Atsumu wasn’t one to engulf himself in thoughts to the point where he’d be staring at an inanimate object, in a complete daze but lately, Osamu has seen him behave as such.
The latter could practically feel the weight of awkwardness pressing against his skin as he subtly watched the three of you. Of course, he did his best to pry off information from the blonde only to no avail; Osamu didn’t know why Suna was even caught up in this but he suspected it was from the party a few days ago.
He remembered seeing you stumble out of the kitchen when he was on his way to grab more drinks from their fridge, the younger twin thought nothing of it until he was met with Suna, and Atsumu awkwardly standing in the kitchen. Normally, Osamu would’ve asked questions that night but the alcohol in him couldn’t care less about the situation.
Staring at the untouched document pulled up on your laptop, you ducked behind your screen to avoid Suna’s wandering gaze, and Osamu’s not-so-subtle curiosity. This was hell. You didn’t even know why you decided to turn up today after that shit show at the party—maybe because you thought you could shove down that memory especially after telling Atsumu that you were fine or maybe you craved the closeness you two once had, and now you were here to rebuild that.
As easy as it sounded, you feared it might not be so with the way Atsumu has been avoiding you like the plague. First, it started when you walked into the café at the same time as the twins, Osamu greeted you at the door before heading inside leaving you, and Atsumu outside. Now, that would’ve been fine if the latter didn’t make a show of taking a couple of steps back to let you go first as though you carried some kind of incurable disease.
The second time was when Atsumu realised the only vacant seat was next to your own, thus, asking to swap with Osamu just so he could sit farthest away from you. And the third was when you had asked him if he was alright while waiting in line to order only to be met with a mindless nod before returning to his phone in his hand.
You tried your very best to ignore the blooming pain in your chest; sure, being sad about Atsumu possibly avoiding you was reasonable but then again, you were the one who told him you were okay now—how Atsumu decided to act after the party was beyond your control.
God but it pissed you off. Swallowing one’s pride, and making effort to rekindle a cold friendship was not an easy feat when the other doesn’t do the same. It shouldn’t work you up this much but it did, and now you were second guessing yourself that maybe it was an irrational decision to abruptly tell Atsumu that you’ve come to terms with moving on.
That night at the party, were you lying to yourself just so you could be around him again?
Whatever. It was too late to take it back anyway.
The days ahead were monotonous, and boring; you, and Atsumu remained orbiting around one another, careful not to get into each other’s path of trajectory but it was tiring. Not only did it feel like navigating through eggshells while he was around but the constant questions from your friends tested your limits. Though, it wasn’t their fault for simply being curious, and getting left in the dark about the whole situation but the prying felt like endless jabs of sharp needles along your skin.
From their point of view, you, and Atsumu were stubborn about the whole situation. None dared to speak up about it, acting as though everything was fine, so your friends were left with very little to work with.
It felt like a game of cat, and mouse where you were the feline chasing Atsumu around. The longer the days dragged on, the more thoughts formulated in your mind, and they all involved the blonde in some way or another. And just like everyone else, you had your limits too; you were tired of Atsumu acting like a stubborn idiot.
When you confessed to Atsumu, sure, you expected an awkward phase but this was even worse. There wasn’t just distance between the two of you, it felt like you were strangers.
He was known for brashly saying the sharp truth, so why couldn’t he be straightforward with you? Was he disgusted by the kiss, and deeply regretted it? Did he think you were weird? You didn’t know, but you were bound to find out even if it meant knocking at the twin’s apartment door at 5:45 PM on a cold, rainy Thursday.
With the sun hidden behind the looming grey clouds, the late winter afternoon was even darker; the roads were packed with vehicles while the sidewalks occupied students, and company workers alike trying their best to shield themselves from the heavy downpour. Despite the streets being illuminated with a tinge of warm yellow from cars, and streetlights, it did nothing to brighten up the gloomy day.
Funny, it was as though the universe knew how you felt today.
“If yer lookin’ for ‘Samu, he won’t be back until 8 PM.” Greeted with Atsumu’s shocked face as the ivory door to their apartment opened, you couldn’t help but visibly roll your eyes at his stubbornness. Yeah, like you’d be here at their apartment looking for Osamu—you knew each of their timetables like the back of your hand.
Flaxen strands that sat atop his head were unruly, a sign that he must’ve been taking a nap sometime ago. Atsumu donned a light blue hoodie paired with black sweats; you tried your best not to ogle the man, after all, you were here for a sensible talk.
“I’m here for you, Miya.”
Atsumu gripped the metal handle a little tighter, the coolness of it seeping into the warmth of his skin. He tried not to flinch at the sudden formality of the conversation. Nonetheless, the blonde pulled the door wider, a wordless invite to their humble space. Giving him a small smile before walking inside, you tried not to think about the last time you were here, and how you found yourself drunkenly kissing Atsumu in their kitchen.
The sound of the door closing shut behind Atsumu reverberated throughout the walls of their apartment, followed by a deafening silence. Met with his honeyed stare, you awkwardly coughed, and played with the hem of your jacket, “I’m not going to take up too much of your time . . but I do just have one question.”
There was a momentary silence as Atsumu waited for you to proceed; he had so many questions running through his mind right now, and it took all his willpower to hold them back, and let you speak instead. It was getting harder, and harder to focus as each second passed with the pounding of his heart—Atsumu didn’t know what to expect.
“Did you—Did you regret that kiss . . ?”
Your skin burned as the question lingered in the air, a beat or two before Atsumu finally spoke up, “. . N-no, why’d ya ask?”
Sighing, impatience prickled your feverish skin. ‘Why’d you ask?’ What the hell does he mean by why would I ask? We made out for fuck sake, that’s something friends don’t do! Why is he acting so casual about it?
“God, this just made it a lot worse. I have so many fucking questions that my mind wants to explode right now,” Pinching the bridge of your nose, you slowly paced back, and forth, the floors beneath silently creaking with each step. So, Atsumu didn’t regret the kiss but he’s acting like you’re strangers—fucking hell, why did he even kiss you in the first place?!
Your mind was a complete mess.
Trying to calm yourself down with slow, deep breaths, you decided to address the elephant in the room first, “Then why have you been avoiding me, Atsumu?—I’m sorry but I’m the one who got rejected, I cannot think of any reason why you should be avoiding me like this.” Atsumu hated that look on your face—the desperation, the sadness, the frustration. He never thought that he’d be the one making you feel all these negative emotions, and it pained him as much as it pained you.
Atsumu let out a sigh, carefully formulating the right words into a coherent sentence, “I’m just . . trying to be careful, okay?” His stomach dropped as your face contorted with more confusion.
Did he say something wrong?
“Careful about what, Atsumu?! You—ugh! It’s so hard to talk to you when you’re giving me all these stupidly vague answers! I’ve already told you I was fine. I don’t care anymore that you don’t like me back. I just want us to be back to normal again.”
Now, it was Atsumu’s turn to be upset. He couldn’t bear the thought of you moving on so quickly, and that’s why he’s been acting distant lately; it annoyed him how easy it was for you to talk to him like nothing happened but Atsumu knew he couldn’t tell you the reason—why couldn’t you just try, and understand his situation? Rejecting wasn’t an easy task to do, especially if it was the person he had been hopelessly pining for.
“Well—maybe things aren’t meant ta back ta normal!”
What?
You stared at him for a second, brows furrowed as you tried to comprehend his words that lingered in the cold air of their apartment. Silence engulfed the two of you, the distant sounds of Hyōgo’s late afternoon rain seeping through the slightly opened window.
“Do you feel uncomfortable around me after knowing the fact that I have feelings for you? Is that it?” “God, no—I could never feel that way.”
It took all of Atsumu’s patience not to wrap his arms around you—he wanted to hold you against him badly; that defeated look on your face broke his heart but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. Maybe Atsumu was the coward after all.
“Then tell me what’s wrong, ‘Tsumu!”
“It’s hard f’me as well, y’know?!” “What is?”
Atsumu closed his eyes, the words he’s been wanting to scream at the top of his lungs lodged in his throat, threatening to slip out. A wave of adrenaline rush coursed through his veins, heart pounding like crazy with this newfound high, it made him feel as though he was invincible—as if he could say anything, and everything without a care for its consequences.
Fuck it.
“Fuck—It’s because I like ya back, okay?! I always have! And rejectin’ ya was so goddamn hard f’me because I’m still not over ya. God, I think about ya every single second, and it pains me so much because yer already movin’ on, and ‘m still stuck here.”
What?
Flabbergasted, you stared at Atsumu all wide-eyed, the thrumming of your heart becoming increasingly loud against your ears as each slow second passed. Did he just say he liked you back? As though mother nature was watching, the rain outside poured harder; sounds of droplets of heavy water against the roof filled the silent apartment, pulling you back into reality.
“Then why—If you feel the same way then why did you reject me?”
When you knocked on the door to the twins’ apartment, you expected a sincere conversation with Atsumu, not him confessing his feelings out of the blue. You were absolutely speechless—you didn’t know whether to jump for joy because he actually does like you back or whether to massage your temples from pure confusion.
“Back then during the trip, ya told me ya weren’t ready for a relationship yet, and that ya only wanted ta confess ta get rejected n’ move on. I wanted ta respect yer decision, so . .”
Flashbacks of said conversation from the trip quickly came into mind, and how you told Atsumu about not being ready for a relationship yet.
Oh.
Oh.
The weight of frustration from your shoulders slowly dissipated, the pent up annoyance you held in your heart was gone too. Suddenly, you weren’t so frustrated anymore after learning about the whole truth behind the situation. You were able to breathe better with the bad air finally cleared between you, and Atsumu.
Looking at it now, you felt absolutely silly. The whole situation turned out to be one big misunderstanding, it was almost laughable—now, you truly understood the essence of communication is key.
You let out a humourless laugh, “You’re so stupid, you know that?” Taking a few steps toward the blonde, you leaned your forehead against his chest, a hand coming up to curl into a fist to lightly hit it; a faint scent of his musky cologne lingered on the fabric of his hoodie, effectively invading your senses. Atsumu didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around your torso, pulling your body flush against his before resting his chin on the crown of your head.
For a beat or two, you, and Atsumu remained in each other’s hold, basking in the cosy atmosphere.
“Would I be more stupid if I tell ya I want ta pick up where we left off at the party?”
Before you knew it your lips were sealed in a searing kiss—this time, it felt raw, all things passionate, and eager. Hands impatiently roaming each other’s unexplored bodies, sounds of wet kisses slowly filling up the apartment. The atmosphere shifted from cosy to something more sensual, light groans, and moans slipping in between each kiss.
Your hands rested on Atsumu’s golden strands, fingers gently tugging at it as he worked his lips down the column of your neck, teeth lightly nipping at the feverish skin. Atsumu focused on a certain spot just below your ear, nipping, and sucking at it which pulled a dainty whine from your lips.
“‘T-Tsumu—Ah!” You gasped, his tongue leaving trails of goosebumps beneath its sinful licks against your skin. He cursed under his breath, the dizzying tone of your voice awakening the slumbering carnal beast that resided in his core. With each dulcet moan that slipped past your swollen lips, Atsumu became greedier, he wasn’t going to settle for mere kisses on your skin—he needed to hear more.
Pulling away from your intoxicating scent, Atsumu looked down at you with parted lips, and hooded eyes, caramel gaze clouded with nothing but pure desire. “I think we should take this ta my room.” He panted.
Nodding at his proposal, hurried footsteps padded over to his room as though each second wasted was crucial. As soon as the door behind Atsumu slammed shut, his lips were on yours once again, strong hands deftly working on the layers of clothing you wore, slowly slipping them off of you one by one; Atsumu could practically feel himself shaking with nervousness, and excitement.
Discarding your top on the wooden floor beneath, Atsumu stared wide-eyed at your torso, both hands coming up to cup your breasts through the fabric of your bra, earning a low moan from you. The air of the room felt cold against your skin but Atsumu’s touch was enough to ignite you.
“So beautiful . .” He absent-mindedly gasped, a lovestruck look in his honeyed eyes.
Hands eagerly tugging at the hem of his hoodie, Atsumu swiftly pulled the fabric off his torso in one movement, golden strands tousled from the action. Goosebumps formed upon his sun kissed skin, bare torso met with the cold winter air; your eyes raked Atsumu’s physique up, and down, shamelessly ogling his muscled chest in all its naked glory. God, you used to just fantasise about this, and now it was served right in front of you on a silver platter.
You decorated each other’s skin with endless love bites, sinful hues of dark red, and purple peppered along your chest, and neck. Atsumu took his sweet time to savour every bit of you—your taste, your scent, your sounds, everything. He made sure to bask in your serene beauty, the gentle glow of your bare figure before utterly devouring you like a starved animal, ravaging your purity with carnal desire.
Atsumu let himself go at the raw intimacy of your bodies, the feeling of your sweet warmth brought tears of pleasure in his eyes as he pushed, and pushed towards the newfound ecstasy you both shared. The chant of his name slipped past your lips like a sinful melody, mere fuel to the relentless drive of his hips. But Atsumu held you dearly against his naked body through it all, fingers intertwined with your own as he keenly chased both your pleasures, choked out moans of your name whispered hotly against your sensitive skin.
And as you both tipped over the edge, Atsumu didn’t fail to tell you how much he loved you in between each pathetic moan as he painted your insides white, the dizzying pleasure contorting his handsome face in pure ecstasy. You held him in your arms, nails digging crescent-shaped marks on his skin, whispering saccharine praises to him as you let go, and emptied the words of your heart.
As the gentle aftermath of the passionate exchange rolled around, Atsumu held you in his arms, hearts beating as one, and lulling you both to sleep. The last thing you heard was a faint ‘I love you’ before passing out from exhaustion.
“‘Tsumu, what did ya want for—Oh my god! What the fuck?!”
A familiar voice abruptly pulled you, and Atsumu out of your sleep, followed by the loud bang of his door slamming shut. Muffled expletives from outside the room could be heard as you both stirred beneath the ivory sheets. “‘Tsumu, what the hell?! Ya should’ve warned me before I went into yer room!” Osamu yelled from the other side of the door.
Atsumu groaned, rubbing his face before turning to the door, “Shut yer trap! Ya should’ve knocked!” At his twin’s silence, he let out a sigh, and slung a heavy arm around your waist, pulling you flush against his naked body before closing his eyes once again.
You let out a soft chuckle, “We really need to stop getting caught. First, Suna, and now Osamu.” Atsumu hummed in response, too sleepy to even think or form a coherent sentence. Snuggling closer to him, you closed your eyes, and went back to sleep as well.
Oh, you could get used to this.
Winter slowly turned into spring as March rolled around—the end of the academic year.
Trees that were once bare slowly blossomed with flowers, hues of yellows, and browns were replaced with endless greenery, and frigid air became more welcoming like a warm embrace. Most importantly, the cold distance between you, and Atsumu no longer existed, instead, it was replaced by fluttering heartbeats, and fluffy moments that hinted at a sweet forevermore.
“There he is! How does it feel to be a fresh graduate!” Suna whistled as Kita walked over to the group, clad in a black academic gown with a matching trencher propped neatly on his head, the golden tassel on the cap swayed with every step taken; he donned a warm smile, one hand holding his well-deserved degree.
The buzz of excitement outside the venue was high, the graduation ceremony having finished just a few minutes ago. You were all surrounded by graduands, all with heartfelt smiles on their faces as they conversed with family, and friends alike.
As your friends fell into a merry conversation, a warm hand interlaced with your own, giving your hand a comfortable squeeze. Atsumu. Looking up at your boyfriend, he cheekily leaned into your ear, whispering an ‘I love you’ before slowly blinking at you, mirroring a cat’s action. You let out a small laugh, shaking your head at his antics.
“Are you two lovebirds done, now?” Suna coughed, pulling you back into reality.
Met with amused expressions plastered on your friends’ faces, you, and Atsumu returned a sheepish smile before joining in their conversation. “Anyway, we were talkin’ about how we should celebrate Kita’s graduation. It can also serve as a treat for us for makin’ it through another academic year.” Osamu explained, earning a hum of approval from you, and Atsumu.
“How about a spring trip to Kyoto?” —
taglist (open)
tags: @ushijimaschubbs @tsumudoll @startlitsawamura @littlemiyastars @h3art-ablaz3 @eggyrocks @integers @rrosiitas @food8me @schelamski @honeytwo @nyaaa-cat @cherribxio @aloesstuff @bontensh0e @willshebloved @yogurtkags @hyori2 @hibernatinghamster @theepitomeofswag @yawnjjunz @animesimpingismyjob @acowboykisser @rntrsuna @rjreins @prodhyuka @loonalockley @cheesypuffkins87 @kos-misch @iluvaquaphor @stunie @cathyket @empress-pug-pug @plutoxxxworld @sunawhore @jaegerfiles
affiliated with @houseofsolisoccasum !
© atsumou 2024 | don’t plagiarise, repost or steal my header.
#.recs#s.haikyuu#this is going to be a LONG set of tags bc i know ima have sm to say. i did reread the last ch to put myself in tears again to fit the mood#vision tunneling when atsumu is there is so cute btw ): everything becoming background noise when he’s there ? also u write so pretty.#‘it took all the effort for atsumu to ignore the feeling of ur bare skin against his’ THAT ENTIRE SENTENCE FUUCK pretty ))):#‘so .. does that mean we can be friends again?’ no. date me . DATe. MEEEEEE. PLEASEEEEE#‘a searing itch that left your skin feverish’ yes i remember being in tears last chapter i remember it so vividly . my heart was shattered#ok the small smile after we move our fingers from his actually made me physically react idk why i pictured that 1 so clearly in my head but#‘i want you.’ ‘did you cry thinking about him?’ YEAH. YEAH I WAS CRYING IM TEARING UP RN JUST THINKING ABIUT CRYING PLS DATE ME PLS 😭😭😭😭😭PL#THE WAY I JJST GOT SHIVERS AG THE KISS. OH HOW IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT. IM ACTUALLY LIKE D: W A HORRENDOUS BLUSH RN OMG IM So WARM#god FUCKING DAMMIT SUNA FUUUUUCKKKKK YOUUUUUUUUUUUU#ok atsumu shielding us makes me feel some kinda way but also suna u asshole ‘how was i supposed to know u two were sucking each other’s fac#kita ? tomfoolery?? that’s so silly that made me giggle hehe 😭 he’s such a mood btw i love him#ATSUMU. u want to sit the FURTHEST AWAY FROM ME ? what do u think i have cooties ???? i kissed YOU so that means u have cooties too u GOOF#the gloomy rainy day. tying that in to how we feel. god yue you know to make my head explode (compliment)#‘if you’re looking for samu’ ???? did i hear you correctly ?? did i ??????? i don’t think so. u are testing me mr atsumu#‘miya.’ YEAH TELL HIM WHATS UP !!! (i am also ogling . sweats .. messy hair …. geez….)#atsumu you. YOU. you didn’t regret it !? so why r we not kissing rn . why am i calling you miya rn if u didn’t regret it. U TEL#YOU TELL ME. omg he did tell me. oh my eyes r in fact widening oh i am in fact blushing oh this is really something omg omg omg :’)#LIGHT GROANS AND MOANS SLIPPING? This is .. THIS IS … YUE … IM SO !!!! IM#THE TEETH NIPPING AT THE NECKKK GOD I AM ACTUALKY FEVERISH IM ACTUALKY TURNING ON MY FAN RN WTFFFF WTF WTF WTFMSMS#MOANING HIS NAME AND TYHEN HIM CURSING HNDER HIS BREATH PLS I JJST GOT ANITHER SHIVER DOWN MY SPINE#OGLING HIS MUSCLED CHEST YES I AM WHHHWEWWWWWWWW GOD#a faint i love you before falling asleep pls this is so soft. also this scene killed me i am a mess now i have no words#OSAMU ? THe door Slamming SHUT LMAO? OMFGGG WE KEEO GETTING CAUGHT FR#replaced by fluttering heartbeats ): oh no more tears for me yay!!! i can finally experience happiness now#YAYY CONGRATS KITA. omfg the last sentence yue this was fr so perfect i love you so much how am i reading this for free#oh i am so in love with this series oh my god ?? every chapter was so beautifully written im just in awe#the pacing the everything was so perfect . it all felt#i literally love them all. i love every part of this sm i mean it :’( this was such an awesome read fuck what do i do now (i hit 30 tags☹️)
300 notes
·
View notes
Text
Im so dumb, didnt realise it was for censoring the tt 🤡
Amazing fanart tho 10/10 she never disappoints 🔥
#when the hatred towards your tts out of dysphoria and dysmorphia blind you to see them in stuff 🤡#surprisingly this fanart is one of the very few (surely can count with one hand) instances when i dont mind it as much#and dont find the ordeal tolerable put of it being a chore#idk last times ive had fucked and ppl go to my tts its like yeaj whatever be done with it#most of them werent good fucks to begin with#still wanna go and do the experiment but feel like i need to lose more weight#like ive already lost some but for my sick self is still not enough and i know i can go further#this current regime works and will work even more after i start the phd#plus setting my massage chair during the weekends cos that means more effort and more calories burnt#my grasp on my hunger changed after the accident#it doesnt bother me as it did before during menstruation too#idk why i dont really recall being hungry? we had lunch like an hour before we hit the road#and were planning on grab something after go feed the cats#anyway i cant believe hiromi grew in me like that and sighs#came across a pizarnik quote earlier and sigh#lets see how the experiment go have got better at being more sincere but still in a very guarded way that doesnt feel as hostile#or so it seems#huh#ranting in tumblr tags my beloved
0 notes
Text
time put into getting a sketch correct is directly correlatable to how much effort i put into finishing a piece. if i spend over two hours redrawing one eye then you best believe im taking that thang all the way to thick pastel paper orange wash 36% overlay
#my faster drawings are generally cleaned sketches so#post tag#anyway ive already put too much effort into this i need to draw ankh eating the fortnite burger or something to post alongside#thsi to draw attention away
0 notes
Text
Why does everything with them have to be do fucking complicated like just give me a break. I literally just want to hang out with my friends and spend the night, but noooo, we have to make it stupid and complicated. Nothing bad is going to happen if i spend the night at my friend's apartment, i promise. I dont even have that many friends anymore i just want to be able to hang out with the ones i have left with out it being a production. Why does this have to be so fucking annoying?? Cant sleepover with my lesbian friends because uh oh, two lesbians cant share a room (i can and have without anything happening) i cant let my straight friend sleep in my room because idk (i can and have done it in the past) and i cant sleepover at my friends house, bitch he has a bf. (I wouldn't even be in the same room) i hate this so fucking much how much loger before i can get out of here like 2 years isnt that long but its going to feel like 100. Like i want to scream but i just have to sit here and pretend that sure its fine ill just let the few friends i have left slip away and never seriously date anyone for more than two months. Sure its fine that all of my friends can hang out with each other whenever they want but i have to give a whole dissertation on what we're doing and who'll be there give me a fucking break as if they didnt do the same things when they were my age. Sure its fine if you misgender me at every opportunity (my pronouns have been the same for longer than ive been out, over a year) and call me a lady and a girl. Im so tired of this shit i just want to leave. I know it would make things a million times more difficult but i just want to be able to have new years at my friends house without having to justify every single thing i do
#Ik it was a little vague#I just needed to rant though#my ramblings#Im so sick of this#I feel bad complaining too because my friends have it so much worse than me but im also fucking miserable#Like my mental health has never been worse and idk why i know im insanely privileged#Mental health#mental health talk#Ive lost so many friends idk how or why#Im just trying to hold onto the ones i have but its hard when almost all of them will have graduated in a year#The one person i can talk to about anything serious graduated and im trying desperately to stay friends#I know hes struggling too but im afraid hes going to give up on putting in effort#Im just trying to exist without any real mental health help#its not going great#If u actually read all the tags illy#Kissing u on the lips rn
0 notes