#but i dont really. think they can come back from this

[rodolfoparras]

18+ MDNI 18+

Thinking about playfully wrestling with your boyfriend while he makes mindless comments about your strength “oh you’re so strong, don’t think I’d be able to escape even if I wanted,” he says in wonder, eyes practically shining as he squeezes your biceps, “you ought to be careful never know when I can break” he says jokingly while doing a half hearted attempt to try and escape your embrace.

Slowly but surely you start getting more and more rough with him: squeezing and pressing down onto spots, not enough to hurt but enough to make him uncomfortable. “You know what? You’re right. I don’t think you’d be able to get away if someone like me were to attack you.” The relaxed look on his face swiftly turns into one of concern and you can see the way he slowly attempts to back away from you.

But it’s to no avail, he’s trapped in your embrace, with you steadily inching closer to his face, a big sharp grin painted on your own face. “I mean what are you supposed to do? Can’t even push them away,” you say referring to his futile attempts at trying to push you away from him. “Guess you’d just have to stay and take whatever they’re willing to give you,” you continue, proving your point when you easily spread his legs wide and ground your cock up against his ass, all while he can’t do anything but helplessly watch as you twist and turn his body as if he were a ragdoll “Bet there’s plenty of things they would love to do to a pretty boy like you. Don’t you think?”

“Oh god- don’t -dont say that,” he gasps out, head falling into the crook of your neck as if he’s horrified. But you can feel his fully hard cock from where your hand is resting against his thighs , can hear the muffled whines and whimpers as he grinds himself up against you, can see it on him how he he’s torn between pushing you away and completely stopping this little game or pulling you closer to him to see how far you’ll take this.

What a sick little thing you got at your hands.

“How about this?” You say, hand yanking ahold of his hair to bring his ear closer to you “You try to run and we’ll see if I can catch you. Does that sound alright?”

This time you don’t get a verbal response. Instead you can see it on his face what he’s trying to say: and what happens if you catch me?

The silence is swiftly broken with a soft thud as you release your hold on him.”Run, quick,”

He doesn’t waste a second scrambling up the stairs, practically tripping over his feet as he turns corners. He looks and sounds absolute terrified and you can’t help but love that, cock growing harder as you follow him up.

With each step you take you can hear his rapid breaths getting louder and louder , can feel his own thudding steps as you walk down the narrow hallway, can practically smell him - not some cheap cologne nor any deodorant but rather a mix of sickly sweet vanilla and sugar- something that’s just so him - something you’d want to sink your teeth in and drain completely. You follow that very scent all the way to your shared bedroom.

And there he stands, looking like a deer caught in the headlights, or rather like a animal that’s bleeding out on the side of the road, with his cock still painfully hard and with a suspicious dark spot on his sweatpants.

“Oh sweetheart,” you coo, voice dripping with faux concern, while slowly walking up to him like he was an injured animal of some sort. “Why do you look so scared hmm? You know I won’t actually hurt you,” you continue, watching in amusement as he swiftly backs up til his back is flushed with the bedroom wall.

You’re quick to press yourself flush against his chest, once again trapping him in your embrace.“Come on. You wound me. I really wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. You know that,” You say eyes once again flicking up to the wet spot on his pants “Look, got yourself all worked up and for what?” You ask, as you cup the wet bulge over his pants.

“Stop - ah don’t” he cries out, sounding and looking absolutely horrified as he tries to push your hand away but once again it’s to no avail and he has to stand there as you freely grope him. However it doesn’t take much before he’s bucking up into your touch, head lolling back against the wall as whines and whimpers freely pour past his tongue “fuck- so good mph,”

“See sweetheart, I just want to take care of you, wouldn’t dream of hurting you,”you say with a soft smile as you continue to rub him through his pants. The man only furiously nods, begs and please of more more more, continuously rolling off of his tongue as he practically humps the palm of your hand.

“Unless you want me to, that is,” suddenly you’re flipping him around, hand rough as ever as you shove him up against the wall before slotting your leg between his thighs.

The poor thing squeaks in suprise, tears freely spilling from his eyes ,as incoherent words start pouring from his mouth.

“Come on now sweetheart,” you groan out , hand once again yanking at his hair and successfully pulling a hiss from him “you know that need you to use your words. Now tell em what you want yeah?”

Once again he’s fumbling over his words, too overwhelmed with emotions to form a coherent sentence. However you won’t take that for answer, hand once again yanking at his hair till he finally responds to you.

“Want- ah want you to touch me sir ah- please do anything touch me- hah fuck me - hurt me just anything please please-“

“Well who am I to say no when you ask so nicely?”

[gamblersdoll]

wait wait wait can we pleaseee get angry kirishima eating us out 🤭🤭

his mind was gone, only focusing on the one thing that agitated him: jealousy.

he hated that so much, he hated how easy it was to get him jealous. he hated how easy men could make him angry at you for how you look, he hated how you looked so good, he always became jealous.

he hated how much he had to wrap his arm around you and grip the fat of your thighs to show you were off the table, and he hated how much other bitch boys didnt take the hint.

it comes to a bubbling point easy, tetsu tetsu didnt grab the idea— you simply werent his to claim, and although him and kirishima were friends, that string easily broke when he tried to shoot an indirect shot to you.

“lets go.” he says stern, grabbing your hand and pulling you to the door. you did protest a little bit, the sudden change in behavior for him was shocking— and it only made him irritated more. “i said, lets fucking go.”

and go did you, only to be thrown in the back seat of his camaro. it became hot really fast, he having your back pressed against the backseat, ass perched on the arm rest, and kirishima just stared at you with eyebrows knitted together.

“the hell was he even fuckin’ thinking?” he asks to himself aloud, intruding your walls with his ring and middle finger to curl up inside and press. “you belong with me, that stupid fuck.”

“kiri—“ you mewl, jumping when his quirk activates and he had the strongest hold on you. you feel somewhat frightened, knowing how quickly he can lose his temper in silence. “baby— he probably didnt—“

“he fuckin knew.” he stops, speaking as he spits on your clit and slaps. “dont you dare try and come to his defense.” he warns you, you were stepping into a territory that you couldn’t possibly know how to defend yourself in. you nod, allowing the redhead slip his tongue past the ring of your cunny and he holds your hips.

“okay—“ you hitch your breath, eyes rolling when he had his tongue squirm in all the right places.

“im whats best for you.” he growls, his eyes still with venom staring up to you. “say it. or ill stop and youll never have anything to make you come again.”

“yer… — fuck!” you hiccup, his teeth softly nibbling against your bundle of nerves. “whats best for me!” you say with a hurry, gripping the roots of his hair.

“who is?”

“you— i swear, just you!” you repeat, tears filling your waterline and he smacks your hand away from his head. “can i—?”

“no, you may not.” he cuts you off, practically forcing the eye contact. “you better hold it in, or yer ass gets it before this pretty pussy does.”

[doginurbloodstream]

i am bive from regretevator!

i dont particularly miss the regretevator universe.. i do enjoy the game though

i know two infected fictionkins, one of which is also unpleasant gradient and poob!

id say im a 3/10, i tend to be a very rational person (i think)

bive is unlabled mspec but wlw and im aroace transmasc

my fictionkin identity doesnt really effect daily life, if at all. it has to be triggered by specific bive related things. the closest its gotten is wanting to yell out "me" whenever the npc me entered the elevator while i was playing with my friend, who does not know im a fictionkin, so there was like an awkward pause where i stopped myself, and then yelled bive. there are random bits of dysphoria i guess, i dont like talking in third person, but its mild and i can get past it.

my fictionkin experience is mainly unpleasant (gradient) unfortunately. shifts are euphoric but also stressful. i tend to have to consciously ground myself a bit, because i have felt like im being watched in the past. i knew/know i wasnt, i just couldnt shake the feeling. i mean coming up with theories for the game where i can just completely let lose is fun, however it is saddening that i will probably never come up with a real one.

death note, touch tone telephone (i was based on that song so its not surprising), and i recently realized the backrooms does too. theres more im not thinking of

im not sure, its not psychological and i think dont believe in most spiritual things. its probably a multiversal thing, but i dont know from there so i usually just say unlabeled.

i do experience shifts! they are always triggered tho, thankfully. i dont get them too often. the first two shifts i had were me being paranoid abt things (the very first one was very out of control, but i was sleep deprived and depressed at the time). the second time i talked about two questions ago. i didnt have any shifts for awhile after that until i my plushie arrived, and i stayed up quite a bit just missing mediamates. that was rough. my later shifts were triggered by trying to come up with theories for the game, altho i wasnt aware i was shifted, until later, i thought i was just excited. the theories were really unhinged, and i thought i was a genius. it was rly fun tho. harmless shift. today i had a brief shift, i was looking at a bive fictionkin stimboard, and there was like a liminal space gif + music was playing, and it looked.. all too much like the lab. i started crying a bit, even tho i do not think have kinmemories, but it ended pretty quickly cuz my friend msged me a joke and the shock value got to me lol. ive also had phantom shifts, but not much recently. i may have had tail shifts, but its difficult to differentiate between kintypes

my media is regretevator on roblox! i do cringe at it sometimes tbh.

when i see fanart, it sort of feels like it was made FOR me specifically lol. what i know abt my canon heavily aligns with the fanon designs so thats cool. when it doesnt align i do feel a bit off tho- like no, that isnt me. you got it wrong. ironically this happened with a recent canon update, when they added melanie WHO IS DEAD. she was supposed to BE dead and STAY dead. and then also, why do i welcome her back?? why am i so friendly?? i mean i get that shes like friends or smth with split, but i just dont trust her. i have no reason not to, i just dont. that is WRONG. you. NO. get OUT.

ooh ooh! i like this question. i have a large, reptile-like (but hairy) non-prehensile tail! my hands and feet are clawed, with only 4 digits. for my feet i have like thumb things coming out of my heels, similar to a bird. i likely am very similar the upcoming remodel, but i cant confirm as i have not seen it. i just know im not a roblox character, and the previews of splits remodel feel very familiar.

ah.. ships. i dont see much of them outside me n split. if i do i just think its a bit weird, and move on. i wish i was seen as more than just someone who likes her. theres more to me. the majority of bive fans are mainly spive fans. i decided to look myself up on tumblr and i was just flooded with shipart. there is MORE TO ME. I AM MORE THAN HER. PLEASE SEE ME FOR ME.

in current lore me and split have feelings for each other (cant relate, im aro, but spive is in my canon tho) and are GOING to confess but that has not happened yet. i feel kinda weird abt it since i have very mixed feelings on romance, but i think we are a thing in my canon, because MY GOD I MISS SPLIT SO MUCH. I MISS HER.

Alex's fictionkin ask game!

(mostly for fictional characters)

🌲 - what is your fictotype?

🪲 - do you miss your home? Or maybe you're happy that you're here?

🐸 - do you have any sourcemates? If yes, who/what are they?

🌳 - in scale 1-10, how are you similar to your canon?

🌿 - does your fictotype have a different sex/gender identity than your body/you?

☘️ - what aspect of life does your identity affect the most?

🪴 - is your fictionkin experience unpleasant or enjoyable for you?

🍃 - what reminds you of your fictotype? (E.g.: a figurine, a doll, a tv series)

🌄 - on what level is your identity? (E.g. spiritual, psychological, psychical)

🐢 - do you experience shifts? Of yes, how do they look like?

🥝 - what is your source?

🐛 - how do you feel about fanarts of you and fanfictions?

🌵 - do you look exactly like in your source or do you look different? If you do, then what is different?

🥀 - what do you think about ships with you?

🦕 - do you have/had a loved one in your source?

♪♪♪

So, yeah, that's all! :D

Reblog this, so the others can ask you questions or answer them all right now, if you want to :>

[roorreer]

Something something. Making Solas a liar in Veilguard actively brings back a problem they fixed working on Inquisition.

On December 20 2019 VGS posted an interview with Trick Weekes about their work on Solas. This whole sentence is a link so its large enough for mobile but also disclaimer this is before they changed their name so deadname warning.

Here's a transcription I found here which is where i took the screenshots above. Since I know not everyone has 40 minutes to listen to an online radio interview.

I however highlighted the main point since most of you are not reading the screenshots anyway but skimming through. Rant under Read-more. Also bc i try to not be too negative on people's dashs but also i wanna ramble some more.

"But he lied a lot more. And it really weakened his character."

You can tell this happened during the game. Solas lies only once within Inquisition. He says something he can't be vague about and you push him so he lies, badly. He usually tells the truth vaguely. Typically Solas lies no more than Blackwall.

I fully believe that if in Inquisition your inquisitor figured out that Solas was Fen’harel and asked him bluntly to his face he'd confess. He might even be impressed. But why would you ever start to think that. No one assumes that their coworker is actually Poseidon regardless of how much they love the beach and ocean.

He hides in your expectations.

You can't ask him about being an ancient elf or being Fen'harel of myth because those aren't very probable. They're astronomically low to be truth within that universe. And outside, no one finished DA2 and went i wonder if one of our next companions is the Dread Wolf. Sera said, impossible things can't be surprises. He doesn't have to lie so when the truth comes out it's becomes obvious on a second playthrough.

They then actively bring back a problem they fixed in Inquisitions development. That they were open about fixing. That having a character that outright lies to you makes you have no intention of even hearing out the character. It retroactively undercuts Inquisition bc i see people trying to find Solas' lies in it when they aren't going to find any beyond the court intrigue.

It undercuts any lore we do get from Solas bc people dismiss it outright as being a lie from Mr "I abhor blood magic". I feel like shaking people's shoulders like no, dont do it.

They retconned him guys i have proof from 2019.

And its like if you hate Solas is this even satisfying? Like that's not Solas. His motivations are gone (that's a whole other post) and so is his core personality trait. It's like they went here's the Dreadwolf but during the ten years they replaced the smug asshole who was insufferably right with a 20 yo senior chihuahua that doesnt have any teeth.

My favorite villains are those that tell the truth. Because nothing hurts more than the truth. Can you imagine if he told you the truth. If he told you horrible things that you dismissed as lies to only be true. Wouldn't Varric’s death have more weight if he told you Varric was dead only for you - for everyone - to see him in the Lighthouse. If it was a spirit who took his shape to help you or even because it saw something worth reflecting in your memories.

So you dismiss him until it's revealed near the end oh he was telling the truth and you have an oh shit maybe he was right about other things but its too late to try and stop any of the truths he told you which could be from allies/companions betraying to stuff about Ghilan'nain and Elgarnan.

Like the only way to redeem Solas was to listen to him and by going out of your way to address problems he sees and you can find the alternative to tearing down the Veil by a series a little puzzle pieces throughout the game.

Have it be he will only listen to you if you listen to him. That he'll reject your other solution bc why the hell would he trust you if you couldnt extend the same.

Like Solas couldve been a great villian and he should've been great for both the haters and those that liked him. Not only the romance but for those who became his friend. Like i keep coming back to if i hated Solas would i be satisfied with Veilguard.

And the answer is no because that isnt Solas.

Tricking him has no weight bc he's an idiot in Veilguard like not even in the ending bc doesn't notice you switch the dagger around like right in front of him but none of his actions make sense. Ppl have mentioned the regret prison makes no sense for Elgarnan and Ghilan'nain bc they don't have regrets.

Attacking Solas has no weight because he literally needs the shit kicked out of him by a dragon for it to even begin to work. They literally need him to be at deaths door before its realistic that Rook could take him in a fight.

Redeem has no weight bc of the massive retcons to his motivations. They had to retcon the post credits scene bc even if Flemythal went hey i don't want you to do this Dai Solas wouldve went okay but that doesnt solve my other problems with the veil including the corruption of spirits and the fact its in literal shambles so i guess is still coming down.

I'm just disappointed. By the end of Trespasser they had a great villian and they just tossed it to the side and reverted him and people are arguing about a character who's sole defining trait in Veilguard is a problem they solved before Inquisition launched.

Basically we can sum it up with a screenshot.

[revelboo]

the recent development with 'everything is alright' has me wondering about king starscream and how... lonely he seems. granted rattrap is there but hes... not much company in stars mind, i think. like dont get me wrong i knew he'd be lonely and a little on the right side of miserable, but that in tandem with the bit about 'dont you know you're home/his future/the one good thing in his life' bit from the last chapter has me!! chokign up a bit cuz damn he really wasnt kidding!!! he got what he wanted but at the cost of still being miserable bc its fuckin LONELY at the top when youre paranoid as all hell with VERY REAL justifications to back said paranoia up!!! god!!!

Yeah, King Star isn’t all that happy. I do like playing with different versions of the same character and just tweaking the circumstances. In Everything is Alright he’s alienated himself from his Trine due to his paranoia, in True Romance he still trusts his Trine and has that relationship, so he’s a lot less paranoid and lonely, in Overdone his Trine just drifted apart. He could have made more of an effort to connect and reach out, but he was so focused on his goals, he didn’t really notice that gap widening until they’re almost strangers to each other

Overdone Pt 2

IDW RID Starscream x Reader

• “You’re weren’t on earth, were you?” He asks when Rattrap gawks at the human in his grip. Striding past, he heads for his private habsuite. Hears Rattrap weakly call out about the reports and he ignores him. They can wait. But you? A human from nowhere plummeting to your death. Closing the door behind himself, he studies you as you cling to his servos. Timid for a spy. “Well?” He growls, depositing you on his desk. “Where did you come from?” Who sent you to spy on him? Wants to know so he can and deliver your broken body to them.

• Falling on your hip, you stare at the big monster and his wings flare out. Trying to say something, anything, when you’re too terrified to make a sound. You’d been driving and then crippling plain had slammed through you, feeling like being torn in two. And then finding yourself somewhere wholly different falling to your death. It’s a nightmare and you can’t wake up. Lip curling, he slams his huge palms down far too close to you and you scream and cringe into a ball. “Speak! Who are you working for?” He roars.

• Pretending at terror? No, venting softly as that acrid shift in your scent registers, he leans back. Not an act. “I don’t know! I don’t know anything!” You cry, little voice broken and terrified and his wings droop slightly. Maybe you’re telling the truth, but you came from somewhere. Humans don’t spontaneously teleport across space and time. Except you apparently had. Servos tapping on the desk, he glares at you and the problem you pose. If you are a spy? An autobot ally sent to undermine him? Why risk your death? If he hadn’t grabbed you, you would have died. Maybe whoever had dropped you meant to see what he’d do and you’re of no importance to them beyond as an expendable pawn?

• “Stop cowering and sniveling,” he growls and you risk a glance at that scowling face, see his optics narrow at you. “If you show your fear, others will use that against you.” Heart hammering against your ribs, you watch him pace around the huge room. And when he’s not looking at you, you can breathe. Try to get your bearings. You have no idea where you are or how you got here, but it had hurt worse than anything you’ve ever felt. Tracking him as he lifts a hand, murmuring, you realize he’s talking to himself at the same time it sinks past the fear that he’d caught you when you’d been falling. He’d saved you.

• Why had he saved you? Because you’re not a monster not matter how much you pretend you are, that annoying, little ghost whispers and he curls his lip. “You know nothing.” Refuses to look, to let his processor trick him with impossible things. Would think maybe you’re a hallucination, too. Except he’d felt your little heart beating against his servos, the warmth of your body in his hands. He’s not mad enough to imagine details like that, yet. Though for you to appear when he was considering not pulling up? Are you a punishment? Drifting back to the desk, his head tips with predatory interest as he rests a servo against your throat and you lay a soft hand on him. You feel real. “Tell me why I shouldn’t rid myself of you. Make me believe you’re no spy.”

Previous

[slasherflicks999]

new oc/sona yaaaaaay!

oh how i wish i had all those piercings (bridge come back to me💔)

can we guess where his name came from gang (suspiciously username shaped name)

i actually really enjoy his character design and i literally color picked his color pallet from a diagram(?) that shows how a bruise heals and it worked out LMAOO sooo new character design life hack

more info and lots of general yapping about him after the break if you care to read :3 and i yap a LOT i have lots to say about him bc its been a while since i genuinely developed an oc LMAO

cw for LOTS and LOTS of talk of death if you do decide to read! just in case :3

first of all you may be thinking “5’6? short king!” and i will have you know i actually made him taller than i am irl by a few inches LMAOOO whoops t boy swag will do that to ya

anyways the thing about his color pallet being based off of that of a literal bruise IS actually relevant because he is literally immortal and is CONSTANTLY getting injured like all the time. i think conveying info about characters via their color pallets is fun and i wanna do more of it so hehe. plus green and red and purple are a nice combo and it worked out very well :3 also another little note about his design: he’s a very creative and artistic person and i wanted to show that through his clothes being somehow modified and i think i did that well too. trying to properly get back into making actually decent and thoughtful character designs so im proud of myself :3

that being said his immortality causes him a SHIT load of problems. i feel like being immortal would really suck LMAO but more-so i feel like i dont see people do much with the idea of immortality in terms of horror or at least not from what i’ve seen. like im still figuring out his lore but the basics are: he has no clue who his dad is and found out he was immortal at a somewhat young age but literally his entire life he’s been viewed as just kind of off?? like he looks human and for the most part acts it but he just has certain traits that humans…. do not have. his eyes glow in pics like a nocturnal animal’s would and his teeth are suspiciously sharp and he gets weird cravings for raw meat which he can somehow digest perfectly fine with absolutely no issue but he’s not like OVERTLY some otherworldly creature he’s just a little weird. a tad strange even. possibly even kind of unsettling depending on who you ask.

and i like to imagine these are a lot of things that were present in his childhood too, like his mother would wake up to the sound of rummaging in the kitchen and find him at the ripe old age of five just gnawing at a whole raw steak in the dark. he’s just sort of always been like that and didn’t realize it was weird until he was older. (is a lot of this used as metaphors for undiagnosed neurodiversity/mental illness? …..iii dont knowwww :3 (yes) (although not every aspect of him is a total reflection of myself, he is still his own character in many respects lolol))

but in general this ends up causing him all sorts of issues in all sorts of millions of ways. for one he has sort of a fragile sense of self because he doesn’t even know what he is?? he knows he can’t just be a regular old human because of all the previously mentioned reasons and a few more, but that aside he has no idea what he is. he also doesn’t know pretty much anything about how his immortality works beyond what he’s experienced and what the others have told him during the times when he’s “dead,” he has no idea how his aging is affected by it because he seems to be aging relatively normally so far, he has no clue if he will EVER die for good/if there’s any way to kill him, he has no idea how his body seems to heal the most insane fatal injuries as if nothing happened, and much more quickly than a normal human would, he kinda doesn’t know jack shit about himself and it pisses him off a little bit!

it also has just caused him lots of trauma as you can probably imagine. lots of dissociation everywhere he looks

moving on to how his immortality actually works: like i said there’s only so much he knows about it but this is all the info he knows so far. he CAN “die” but all of his deaths are temporary. that is to say that his body will eventually heal and regenerate itself and he will come back. it’s not like deadpool where he can get stabbed in the head and go about the rest of his day like nothing happened, he might be able to keep himself up for a while to fight back or run away but it wont be long before he drops dead for a few days or so. during said time his body outwardly does seem very dead. he’s unresponsive and still and isn’t blinking or nothing and his pupils are blown (which he already has huge pupils but yk), like if you were to just show him to someone they’d be like “yeah that’s absolutely a corpse and also why would you show this to me.” but his body is still alive in a sense, it’s just sort of… yknow when you put a computer into sleep mode?? upon first glance it’s gonna look like it’s off but inwardly things are still going on. his body is still working to regenerate itself the whole time, even if whatever he sustained that “killed” him would very much not be healable or survivable by any normal person. in his POV, he just sort of gets knocked out for a while and then wakes up exhausted and sore and absolutely FAMISHED. like he could easily eat a horse without any exaggeration the boy can eat.

he’s also always been interested in horror and the supernatural and crime and shit and is largely desensitized to that sort of stuff from that + experiencing a lot of different deaths himself bc of the whole immortality thing paired with him being generally reckless when he was younger because what’s it gonna do? kill him? (“what’re you gonna do, jeff the kill me?” -him at jeff moments before being stabbed, probably) he says he doesn’t care but it actually effects him deeply in ways he doesn’t understand for a while. as he gets older he becomes less reckless and doesn’t throw himself into dangerous situations as often.

all that being said he’s not necessarily all that dangerous himself?? he carries his dagger around with him for protection or cutting up meat and apples or woodcarving more than anything and as a proxy he works a lot more as just an… observer. despite his name he’s not really all for the killing people stuff if he can help it unlike many of the others, if anything his name more so refers to the fact that HE’S usually the one getting slashed up. (it’s actually just bc of my username but shhhhhh) but generally he much prefers to be in the background keeping watch or scoping things out or just sort of… stalking people basically. dont ask me how he manages to be stealthy in THAT outfit… he manages somehow i swear 😔

but yknow overall he’s not an incredible threat to most people, the “creepy” part of him being a creepypasta comes a lot more just from how much it would suck to be in his shoes as just a guy who happens to be immortal but still able to experience the pain of death over and over again. he isn’t the creepy thing as much as his entire life experience is LOL. usually he’s just unsettling and disturbing at most.

he also has a VERY complex relationship with BEN in my AU specifically (WHICH RANDOM DISCLAIMER TIME: NOT THE LITTLE 12 YEAR OLD VERSION NOOOOO EW my au’s BEN is like a combo of “fanon” him and behavioral event network he is not 12 years old and i dont want him being shipped with anything NEAR that version of him, ONLY my AU’s version who is 19. im not a freak. 💔 they’re not a couple anyway (BEN🤝slasher -> being aro) but i did wanna preface that just in case bc im not trying to get misinterpreted like that) might write more about that sometime… bc their relationship has a lot of symbolism and complexity bc BEN is my fav character ever period and yes i am gonna write him and my self insert oc as being incredibly deeply intertwined bc i love him and cringe culture can kick rocks and therapy is difficult to get :3 oc x canon shippers platonic or romantic yall will always be safe on my blog frfr

im gonna post more about BEN soon too…. literally working on actually making a proper design for him rn which is mostly just difficult bc i cannot for the life of me think of what to give this freak to wear. i need them to serve cunt but like….. how do i do that 💔💔 that one BEN design i reblogged that gave him the adorable little heels….. absolutely genius………. u know who u are :3

more random rapid fire fun facts about him bc why not: he loves piercings and tattoos and body mods bc they heal so easily for him, he has his tongue split! (NEEEED to do one day actually my dream body mod), his immortality doesn’t seem to effect his ability to get sick which he HATES but when he does get sick it only lasts for a day or so and he’s a total drama queen the whole time, he loves to sew (though only by hand, he’s genuinely afraid of sewing machines) and will patch up or modify clothes for his friends or other proxies if they ask, his favorite kind of raw meat is boar, and his favorite cooked meat is a tie between pork (boar or domestic pig) and chicken, he wears his headphones most of the time bc he loves music and sounds can sometimes overstimulate him, and BEN can talk to him through them because of course he can, he loves animals and actually has way more empathy for them than for humans, and he absolutely LOVES medical dramas and does not care that a lot of the actual medical parts are inaccurate he will eat them up. he WILL be caught staying up until 6am watching chicago med and he will not apologize.

ANYWAY i think that’s about it actually. if anyone actually read all my ramblings…. i love u /p u mean very much to me /p

i WILL be yapping more soon (except probably about the actual “canon” pastas hehe) :3

[intramoon]

hi aj !! i have a question i dont want to sound rude please know im not trying to be rude. i came back to simblr after a long time and its been really hard not to get discouraged. :/ my account is really dead no one interacts with me anymore. stuff is so different. i remember you used to be kinda popular but how do you deal with people not interacting with you as much as they used to?? i dont mean that in a mean way!! i dont want to quit simblr but idk how to get back to how things were

Hi! Don't worry, I don't think you're being rude, I understand where you're coming from. ♡ My response will be long because I have a lot to say about the topic, hopefully, it will help you.

If you were mostly active when I was in my "prime" (assuming that's what you mean by "kinda popular"), like 2018-2021, things will never be how they were then. The community, trends, and how we interacted with each other was so much different, I don't think it will ever go back to how it was then. I am kind of happy about that. Although my relationship with that time on Simblr is nostalgic (despite being too young and miserable to enjoy it), I think the community is in a healthier place now (mostly). I have had to adjust to a couple of things since coming back. One is that the content looks different now.

In my "prime" people were just getting into editing (that was a time before ReShade). Heavy editing and experimental editing were really celebrated, partly because everyone was learning and learning from each other. We just wanted to see what was possible. Now, maybe partly in reaction to that trend and how demanding it was, people have found an appreciation for the base game, simple screenshots with really only ReShade/gshade, CAS screenshots, etc. Not to say the former doesn't exist anymore because it absolutely does and people have become truly incredible at it. In some regard, it is an acquired taste especially if that's all you do. I've thought to myself many times should I stop editing the way I do, does that impact the way people take in my content? Do I have editing blindness? lol I like how I edit, I enjoy the process and, even if I do have editing blindness, I like how it looks. Even being an alpha creator, they are fewer and fewer as people opt for MM and MMix. I've thought, do people really not like alpha content anymore? Even my story at times felt like it didn't fit into the current story ethos. I thought about stopping it. I bring that all up to say, when you're coming back to a very different Simblr it can feel like what you used to make doesn't "fit in". And it might not. I don't think that should be the goal. The community now is so much more diverse, content-wise, that anything you want to make is possible. If you sacrifice your artistic vision, you'll end up leaving again. You have to make what speaks to you, regardless of the other noise.

Two, you have to find your reason for making your art. For a moment, I really lost touch with what I was even doing here. I took some time to figure it out. I first started because I wanted to tell a story that talked about intimacy through the lens of a sex worker and someone who had no romantic or sexual experience. I wanted to do this without over-sexualizing my sex worker character and infantilizing my other character. I wanted to write some of the dialogue I was having internally. Way back when that was all I wanted to do, I didn't struggle with being seen as much because I was posting with a purpose. That purpose wasn't likes or reblogs, but to tell a story and have a conversation. Everything else came after. Anyone coming back (or looking for a reason to stay) has to find, within themselves, why they want to be here and what they want to get out of it. I promise you if you reconnect with that, posting will be easier regardless of the outcome.

I know I took a lot for granted way back when. Asks about me or my characters, comments, tags, and even people wanting to join me in a Discord server or stream. Sounds like we both, a one point, wish we could go back. That just means it's something to appreciate more now. You can be and make really whatever you want, which wasn't always possible. Maybe think of coming back as a small rebirth and trust that if you keep at it, you will find your people. I am still in the process of finding mine but I trust they are out there. If you're passionate people will feel it. Best of luck and I hope something in this novel helps you! ♡

[certifiedsexed]

hey so, I really don't know if you're the correct person to come to about this but I literally don't know who else

so last like, april-ish? I stopped getting my period. I assumed it was because I was very stressed from being in a musical for the first time alongside finals season, so i figured "hey, it'll come back in like a bit, right?" but then may came and i didnt get my period again, and still didnt all the way from june to august. i went to the doctor about it, and they did some blood tests, and everything came back normal. no iron issues, no blood sugar issues, nothing. nothing in my diet changed, i dont have an ED, DEFINITELY was not pregnant because ive never haqd sex. i got my period in september and have been getting it with a shorter time in between than i used to since.

my question is, i guess, is it possible to be so stressed that you lose your period for like five months? like, my body didnt realize i wasnt stressed anymore or something? or do you think it was another issue that the doctors missed somehow?

its not really imperative that you answer, im just extremely curious and want to know what happened for that five-month period where i just wasnt menstruating.

Hi! I dunno if I'm "the correct person" either but I don't mind giving it a shot.

First, yes, stress can mess with your cycle. Stress can alter your body and that very much affects your periods. It's fairly common for extreme stress, especially for extended amounts of time, to affect your period.

I've never heard of it lasting five months before, though. That's definitely a mystery to me. It could totally be that your doctors missed something [like PCOS] or they didn't run the right tests but this is the kinda situation where it's hard to tell at the moment.

Like, if it happens again for anything similar to that amount of time, I'd say it's probably an underlying condition and not just stress. But at the moment, it's stopped and all your test results look good so, I dunno.

If I were a doctor, I'd definitely be intrigued but not being a doctor, I really don't know enough about the situation to judge.

This isn't really helpful, I don't think, but let me know if you have any other questions, Anon. <3

[jams-sims]

Something something- Ranma and Akane first meeting is how all of Ranma obssessed would be sutiors meet him. Let me explain- the formula for how Ranma ends up with his none harem (because he dont like them hoes). Is they all pick one form of Ranma to like and refuse to get to know the otherside.

Ranma and Akane first meeting, Akane is only really interested in female Ranma as a friend. Akane was super happy to have a girl partner to train with. (Theres a whole ass post to be made about Akane life, before Ranma and his father moved in.) Shes so alone which is weird- Akane is not disliked by the female body of her school. Akane is popular! Again why is she the only one doing any form of fighting. Thinking of it now i dont think akane has friends "friends".

But its clear, she wants a connection in fighting with another girl. When Ranma turns out to be a guy, and her fiance. The illisuion of having a friend of the same gender to do matarial arts with is broken. But this in turn has more to do with Akane current gender experssion and hang ups. (We can't get into yet-). This rejection makes Ranma retaliate.

Its only when Akane comes to terms with her own personal problem, does she fully accept Ranma. This moves her out of the space with the other would be suitors. An into a lane of her own one, Ranma contuines to go back into. But there something there in that small space of Akane and Ranma first meeting.

Its so hard to pin point/explain it. Its a deep loneliness on Akane end that isnt really explored outside that small window when she had long hair. Theres also a fic to be made about Ranma hiding his male identity to hang out with Akane more.

The tendo house becomes way more lively once Saotome moves in. The dojo is used more often, its not just Akane trainning by herself. The long hair seems to repsent everything a girly girl should be. The- you have to be more lady like, a lot of unneed pressure Akane puts on herself with that long hair. Ranma a high fem girl popping up probably felt like vindication in Akane eyes. Look see a girl whos is super feminie can do martial arts as well!! Only to have that betrayed, when the girl turns out to be a guy. An then you say a bunch of shit you dont mean. Resetting your relationship to negative 10. But! There something so idk how to explain it. There something there-

Ranma and Akane fall in love in that first meeting.

Maybe its different type of love, maybe its only from Ranma end. But there something so undefinable about it, that makes it feel like love. Love at first sight, rejection, and then the rest of the show is reconciliation. It feels like this is the first time Akane has ever liked someone outside of the doctor dude. Which was probably really jaring for her. Ranma has spent all his time trainning i dont think romance even crossed his mind, let alone a friendship. Akane becomes one of the only character (im being hyperbolic) that accepts Ranma as both guy and girl. In that single isolated moment breed so much.

I don't think they ever have a moment like that again. Akane and Ranma from that point onwards are never truly left alone. When they are its interpurted, or they're going somewhere- Especially! With serious moments. It really does feel like their first meeting they fell in love, broke up, and tentatively got back together.

[moviememokeeper]

this is mostly self indulgent but--

im a person who has really bad memory and ive been thinking about how ironic it was that i liked reca (major understatement) since hes a memokeeper who probably remembers everything hes ever known. so ive been thinking: what if he had a s/o with really bad memory? this has probably been thought of before but i THINK i have only seen few things about it.

hed be perfect honestly and damn if i dont need someone who can and will remind me of everything i forget like taking my very important meds. or preventing me from accidentally skipping meals. or even sleeping at the right hour because i completely lack a sense of time.

but it also feels super bad to forget everything and even things you actively want to remember like bonding moments. so he would definitely take SO many photos and videos of you and keep them in a super secret stash to show you later. or put 200% of his effort into making the most love filled movies about you and him painted in the most beautiful light- and his bias toward you really shows because theyre always the movies people discuss the most. (i dont know if he would be That biased but its a silly thought. if you want to make it sillier imagine him putting so much effort that he comes home physically disheveled lol)

feel free to add thoughts... its 4 am and im so sleepy it took me 30 mins to make this coherent enough to undsrstand but reca is roaming in my brain rrrrg mr. recaaaaa...

So, I wrote a response to this back when I first received it, but then my dumbass forgot to save it in my drafts 😭

ANYWAY

This is honestly so real, I’m forgetful asf as well 😭

- He’d leave sticky notes all over the house in places he KNOWS you’ll find it to remind of you of important stuff

- the sticky notes also contain a lot of little heartfelt messages <3

- And SO. MANY. NICKNAMES. He’s the type to constantly call you “darling” “love” “sweetheart” etc. he also comes up with very ridiculous nicknames sometimes to make you laugh, they get worse as times goes on

- little texts/phone calls throughout the day to see how you’re doing and remind you of stuff

As for bigger events

Like you said this man definitely has a huge stash of photos and videos

- he keeps little things he finds during your dates (for example a pebble, a keychain, etc.) as little reminders of what you guys did together

- he also compiles all his pictures into a scrapbook

- It details when the picture was taken, what you guys were doing, his thoughts on said day, and a whole lot of compliments

- he doesn’t get upset if you forget something, he just thinks of new ways to help you remember y’know

- ALSO with him being a memokeeper, what’s stopping him from playing his own memories of the event like a movie for you to watch?

This man is a hopeless romantic I swear

[candy8448]

Do you have a recs for fics based on the Apprentice arc?

Ooohohoho yesss, you've come to the right person. I have quite a lot of fics to rec (ive been obsessively consuming and hyperfixating like mad on the apprentice arc in particular):

(Also i consider haunted to be part of the overall apprentice arc so there are a few fics based on and set after that episode)

First you can look at the tag "dick grayson as slade wilson's apprentice" on ao3 and there are hundreds of fics, with every dynamic and characters you could want, these are just my favorites ive read (put very very vaguely in an order going down from my most favorites):

Never Alone

My favorite, its a masterpiece, its amazing! After haunted robin continues to have hallucinations and its a finished longfic that gives a really good look into robin's mental illness and how he is still only a human. I made a whole post about this fic and how its perfect in every way, i have not binged a longfic this long in forever but i did this one in a single reading session because i was completely and utterly gripped

More coherent and detailed but completely spoiler free rambles about what makes this fic so good here i cannot stress enough how this is a must read if you like the arc. I like, really really want you to read this one

The voice and gears of sunset

Oneshot set right after robin is rescued from slade in the apprentice arc. It hits so hard and hurts. Robin's recovery and him trying to connect again with the titans after what he had gone through, the titans being there to help every step of the way. The ending melts my heart

Emotional motion sickness

Oneshot set many years later when the batfam is fully formed and robin is nightwing. A good fic with dick and damian's brotherly relationship and discovering new ways to cope. There is an encounter with slade and that scene fills me with so much undescribable emotion

The fight and the war

Oneshot with the batfam. After an encounter with slade, dick is interogated with his family about the way he responded to slade's commands in the battle and how it could have gotten him killed. Dick is forced to admit what happened back when he was with the titans in the apprentice arc. Very good protective batsiblings in a different way to the other fics

Bedeviled

Oneshot set right after haunted. The spores have a lingering effect and robin presses an emergency distress signal to batman who is there for him

To pick at a scab

Years later with the batfam dick comes to the batcave and his younger brothers have some questions about a sound recording from his time with slade. Dick is thrown into a vivid flashback and the batfam break him out of it and help him talk through it. Oneshot

Reforming Nightwing

Unfinished longfic. The titans never find iut about the nanobots and dick is forced to be slade's apprentice for 9 years. After Slade is killed and dick is able to excape, he goes to bludhaven where he picks up a new civillian name and the new identity nightwing. Meanwhile tim and steph want to figure out who this new "nightwing" and what his connection is to the villian "renegade"

Do you think batman will give me partial custody?

Oneshot. After the apprentice arc, robin returns to gotham. Unable to figure out how he feels about the situation he goes to his parents' graves where he encounters harely who helps him start a conversation with him about the abuse they both faced

The apprentice

Unfinished longfic where the titans dont discover the nanobots and robin has to continue being slade's apprentice. He spends his time figuring out how to get a message to the titans or to batman or to anyone without slade knowing

Just the same

Robin deals with stockholm syndrome and cant help but compare how similar slade is to batman and how in some aspects he is better. The titans are there to help him figure things out. Oneshot.

Next to my robin and some matchsticks

Oneshot set after apprentice part 2 where the titans patch up robin's wounds and talk about some scars he has, some from his time before the titans and some from slade

[lilygaragee]

new year’s kiss

☆note: hii guys!! ive decided to create a new account here after a small break so please dont go harsh on me 🙏 english is not my first language but i tried my best so i really appreciate all of the support 🫶

☆warnings: mentions of alcohol, drug use, swearning, cheating(?), smuttish but not really smut, fluff

you were high out of your mind, watching a film on your couch with peter (your current boyfriend) you honestly hated him, you hated the way he treated you and the way you basically became a drug addict because of him.

as you two were laying in your apartment that obviously you pay for because peter is broke. Your phone vibrates from underneath your back, you silently lift your back to see who texted you without peter looking into your phone. It was sarah, you best friend since kindergarten saying that she hosts a party on new year’s eve and that you should totally come, you read the message quickly enough for Peter not to be able to and he immediately asks you „who is texting you again?” „oh its just my mom asking if i would want to come to spend new year’s with her” „i want to go to a club baby” he says giving you a small kiss on your forehead „ill go alone then” as a response he just hums and goes back to watching the film

☆☆☆☆

You have decidedto wear your favourite black dress with black thighs and shiny heeles, obviously you changed in the car so you didnt have to worry about fighting with peter that you look like a slut, he hates we you look good and you know it, he thinks that you will chase him for tne rest of his life, he hasn’t realised yet that you are so sick of him, his habits and just his entire personality, you want to kick him out of your place but you know that you dont have enough strength to do it alone.

„hey im here can you come out?” you stare at the text you sent and wait for sarah to respond or at least see the message but then you see her cherry red dyed hair running up to your car „girl cmon youre still scared to come to my house alone?” she says laughing, „im very scared of your neighbours” you respond to her looking over at the house thats right next to sarah’s

As you two were getting ready in sarah’s bathroom blasting music snd makeup just trashed everywhere you ask her „do you have a list who’s coming?” „yeah overhere” sarah passes you her phone with people’s name’s „who tf are these random people” „omg stop you literally know them” you still look at the phone confused as you try to recognise any of them as you notice a familiar name „who’s oscar piastri?” „oh he’s my friend’s friend or something like that, i dont really know the guy. What is he cute?” „i mean..maybe a little?” you still scroll through his pictures curiously „wait aren’t you with peter still?” „we broke up but he still says he loves me and wants to stay at my place but he gives me free weed do i guess its fine” trying to explain how you feel about peter is probably one of the hardest thing to do.

People stared coming to sarah’s house around 8pm and it was just a regular house party with people drinking, smoking or doing other stuff, you were looking out to see if the oscar guy that caught your attention was already here but you could not find him anywhere, after a while you just gave up, not having any hopes about seeing him, you came up to a random guy that was rolling joints and asked to borrow one he agreed after some negotiations and you went to the garden to smoke it in peace, you were sitting beside the pool smoking while a guy comes up to you and sits next to you, you were honestly shocked because wtf is he doing?? and then you notice the similarities between him and the guy that you were stalking on instagram „oh uh you want some?” you ask him shyly not confident at all like you planned in your head to be „yeah sure” he smiles and takes the joint from your hand. You’ve made the small talk while you were sharing the weed and you can already feeling it mess with your head and you can feel your mouth getting dryer by the second. „what your feeling it already?” said oscar laughing a little. „yeah” you said giggling „cmon lets go inside” oscar said standing up and reaching his hand to take yours to help you stand up, you stood up groaning, not wanting to go near people, but as soon you walked into the room full of people dancing to house music you slowly started getting more comfortable and more high. Oscar was right next to you all the time dancing and laughing with you, your just dancing your legs out of any strength at this point you feel so tired as you puy or head on oscar’s chest humming something while people around you are still dancing „hey are you ok? wanna go lay down” Oscar just see you nodding and takes you upstairs.

You were laying on Sarah’s bed in the only room that was left because people were probably having sex in all the other ones, but you weren’t there alone, you were laying on oscar’s chest listening to his heartbeat and listening to his monologue which didnt maks any sense, he probably doesn’t know what’s hes saying either. You never felt so connected and locked with anyone, you could feel his hands on your hair braiding them, you put your head up to look at him and you see his red eyes looking almost closed, you didnt have to look in the mirror guessing that you probably look the same, now your just admiring him and noticing the little moles he has and dimples when hes smiling. In the very awkward moment that Sarah catches you two just shouting fo everyone upstairs to comedown the stairs to watch the fireworks.

„How much do you want to stand up and go downstairs” oscar asks quietly „i have like zero strength left in my body so you would literally have to drag me there” „oh okay so..wanna stay here?” he asks smiling at you „yeah that would be nice” you said giving the smile back.

As you remember that you have something called a phone in your pocket that peter probably has been trying to get an answer for the last couple hours! he thinks your at your moms, you turned off your location so theres no way he’ll find you, you think „whatever all check later”

Oscar and you stood up to sit netxt to eachother while listening to people countdown seconds till new year, you take one more look at oscar and now he had probably noticed you admiring him for so long but he doesn’t do or wants to do anything about it

„happy new year” oscar says to you as he turns his head to you immediately catching eye contact

„happy new year oscar” you say back to him visibly flushed, you close your eyes as you feel his hand on your cheek pulling your lips into his, your tongue immediately started a battle with his fighting for dominance, you have really put all of your left strength into the battle but still lost to Oscar. At this point you two were out of breath and both broke contact, just for him to catch his breath and go back for even more. He picked you up from the bed, you wrap your legs around his hips while he carries you to the bathroom and puts you on the sink that you were getting ready in a few hours ago. Oscar stared to zip off your dress and you were left in your matching lacy underwear immediately teasing you, „you are so gorgeous baby” oscar whispered to your ear sending shivers down your spine while you responded with a moan. „We cant oscar…im sorry” you said quietly but loud enough for him to hear, „huh? why not” he reacted quickly, „peter would kill me if he found out, like literally” „is he your boyfriend or what?” „no, not really, were not together, but he says he doesn’t want to break up and now wont move out, hes like fucking insane” „what the fuck is wrong with the guy, i could never huty you” said oscar gently fixing your hair.

You and Oscar exchanged numbers and you told sarah everything, when you finally checked your phone you saw over 50 missed calles from peter trying to reach you without success, thank god you never gave him your mothers number even though he deemed that many times. you responded to him after few hours saying that you left your phone in the car and thought you lost it, he somehow believed it.

[noihavenosanitythanksforasking]

broski, you keep saying mike is unable to say i love you to his gf, but at the end he finally said it (9 times) so whats your point literally?

you are holding onto old crap, and beating a dead horse. He said he loves her multiple times, boys are generally hesitant in expressing their emotions (patriarchy asks them to be tough ,not open up and everything), but he overcame that by the end of the season

do you think mileven is gonna break up after how explicitly he told el he loves her???? el also loves mike very much, its just a fight she's upset about, but people can FORGIVE and move on from past misunderstandings you know? el is veryymuch in love with mike since season 1, she can forgive mike for his one mistake (he basically rectified it too at the end of the day)

y'all keep saying mike gets upset when will doesn't talk to him but at the end of season 4 mike is upset that el is not talking to him much because she's grieving

ahhhh this is so exciting!!! i feel like ive made it or smth!

sorry for my late response i was in my physics class 😔

now, we dont KNOW for SURE what mike truly feels. you dont know. i dont know. no one will ever know until s5 comes out. however i have my speculations and so do you. and thats okay!! we dont have to agree :3 your allowed to believe whatever you want in regards to mike and els relationship. it doesnt affect me at all.

however, sense you app care about what i have to say so much i will yapp somemore about what i think. you dont have to agree with me. in fact ik you wont. and thats okay, clearly you are insecure enough about your own opinion that you feel the need to go to the other side and argue with someone in their anons. bc if your opinions were solid and unshakable youd have your url showing. but i get it i really do :)

anywayssss. charecters can lie.

just like people can lie.

i was in a romantic relationship with someone for about a year. and throughout that time, i told them i loved them multiple times. did i? no. did i want to? yes. i wanted to be in love with them. they were very very important to me and when they asked me out, i thought to myself 'well i do really like this person. why not?'

i was not in love with this person. i did not have romantic feelings for them. but i convinced myself i did. in the end, one day we were sitting next to each other and it just hit me. i didnt want to be here anymore. i had met someone else and was developing a crush on them at the time. so i broke up with them.

all this to say, mike can lie. hes not a high fantasy elf. something i feel is a big disconnect between bylers and milevens is that milevens tend to read most things at face value. just bc you say you love someone doesnt mean you do.

as for the patriarchy comment, mikes story line has never had to do with being tough, or not being man enough. he repeatedly says that he doesnt want to be popular, he doesnt care about fitting in. ofc this can still be a factor but i doubt its a huge point of his character arc. if it was they would have made a point of adressing him struggling with it before this.

on your point about moving on from fights, your so right about that. i dont in the slightest think that elmike are going to be on BAD terms in endgame but i dont think they'll be on romantic terms. even if byler isnt canon, and mike is straight. i still believe that.

as for his mistake being rectified. girl what u yappin ab. no it wasnt. if it was why was el not talking to mike in the van on the way back to hawkins

mike says in the last episode that they werent really talking. a little bit but not much. you could say that el was greiving max. but el DIDNT KNOW max was in a coma. when they get back to hawkins, dustin has a line where he explicitly says

"oh you guys dont know" in refrence to max.

is el traumatized? definitely!!! but she doesnt know max is in a coma. and even if she did, why wouldnt el seek comfort in her bf if they had fixed everything???

as for your last point, yeah mike is upset about el not talking to him. duh. however lets compare.

when mike is mad at will for not paying attention to him at rink o mania he actively brings it up. he actively pursues will and expresses his frustration over will being dismissive. he is visably upset. on the other hand, in the last ep of s4, mike doesnt even bring up el until will does. he seems mildly annoyed and confused about the situation and makes no moves to pursue her or seek out resolution. he makes no moves to comfort her about max ever. he doesnt walk with her, he doesnt hug her. nothing. the only affection between then is when EL puts her head on mikes sholder. mike makes no moves to comfort her more but he doesnt push her away. this is also right after mike activly began walking sideways to be able to stand next to will when there was an open space for him to stand right next to el im front of him. odd.

also you do realize that someone can be upset at the prospect of two people that are important to them being upset at them

its not will or el

its never been will or el

this has always been about mike and how he handles conflict and shit.

anywayssss my hands r going to freeze off bc its like 19 F outside and i wrote this walking across campus

hope this helps 💙💛

[cyanrendipity]

(Answering on my side blog but its me op)

I don't really agree with the assertion that Izutsumi "true self" is a cat, or that Falin was being fully controlled by the Dragon soul when she was in chimera form

I believe neither of them were "Truly Falin" "Truly a Dragon" "Truly a Cat" "Truly the human child" Chimera Falin and Izutsumi are their own beings created from the mixture of 2 beings.

Everything in Izu's profile talks about her as the tallman side

"The soul mixed to izutsumi's" "Mixing a monster soul with her human one" (I checked the orignal japanese and I don't think it's vague about it referring to Izutsumi first monster second.)

Race "tall-man"

Since most if not all of it refers to the tallman part of her I don't think only the timeline would refer to the monster.

Izutsumi has been a beastman for most of her life and Kui says being a beastman affects your personality even when they are the type that can transform back and forth and can become fully human, Lycion says personality changes are common for certain transformation like the Tiger

And says werewolves are popular because there's not much personality changes

So even beastmen who are mostly human go through a fusion with their monsters when they become beastmen that change how they act. It isn't then too strange that Izutsumi who was transformed as a small child is even more influenced by her monster side. Besides that she was neglected and was never socialized as a human, so I don't think her lack of understanding of humans comes from being mostly a cat, it comes from having cat insticts and never having been socialized as a human being. Even real humans end up "animal like" when they are neglect as is the case with feral children (usually they adapt to acting like an animal they were raised with, with the animal instincts already in her I think Izu becoming feral was bound to happen)

So even if most of her is the cat monster I dont think the cat monster is the true her, she can only turn back into the cat monster but that wouldn't be Izutsumi anymore, Izutsumi is the fusion between them not one or the other (If she managed to become fully human she would also become someone different wouldn't she? Since lots of what makes her who she is her cat part)

Faligon also isn't the dragon in control, Kui says Faligon has Falin's memories but she doesn't act like the Falin she was before, but she also doesn't act like a dragon with human intelligence, she acts like a mixture between Falin and the dragon. The dragon wants to protect and serve thistle, but the Falin part does it in her own way.

She still has Falin's personality but they can't reason with her cause she isn't Falin, but she also isn't just the dragon with human inteligence, she's the chimera.

By the end the dragon soul is suppressed and she comes back as *mostly* Falin but she even admits the bit of the dragon that was left and she accepted into herself might influence her a little, so at the end also isnt fully who she was when she first got eaten.

Anyway that's what I think. It's important to me cause I think accepting she's not "truly a monster" but "a monster and a human" is a big part of Izu

If Izutsumi only has a 'bit' of human soul where's the rest of it? Dead and gone? She doesn't suffer for the lack of it, so it doesn't seem like people need their whole soul. Could someone even take the piece she's missing and stuff it into another monster??

Well, this is gonna be a lot of speculation and very little facts, so beware (will never forget you anon who said I posted my opinions without clarifying it was speculation)

My theory is that in dungeon meshi bodies and souls have some sort of relationship? After all Marcille used the dragon's flesh to resurrect Falin and that cause part of its soul to be mixed in with hers, and at the end to get rid of his soul so Falin could be brought back without being a chimera they ate it's flesh and ground up it's bones so plants would absorb it. So I think it's safe to say there's some relationship between body and soul, at least inside the dungeon where resurrection is possible.

If we take Izutsumi's timeline as a basis, she was a 6yo child when she was taken from her parent's and turned into a beastmen (you could argue that it was a 6yo monster but Izutsumi's ages like a tallman so I doubt only here it would be referring to the monster)

So she was a small child fused with a big monster, so maybe that in itself is why there's way more monster?

The other possibility is that only part of the child was fused with the monster, or perhaps they did take the soul out of her body to put it in the monster, maybe like how ghosts that don't have a body might posses someone that dies and is resurrected and their souls are fused??

But here she only talks about the "personality" changing not their appearance, I really think beastmen and chimera fusions where parts of each show up in the final form makes more sense if their bodies (along with the soul) is fused too? But I'm just speculating.

Anyway, two possibilities

The (whole) child was fused with a much bigger monster and that's why it's the smaller part

The child killed and then only part of her (or her soul) was fused with the monster

Very fucked up either way, about your question if there could be two izutsumis made from the soul of the same child I doubt it, if we take resurrection as an example I don't think they can "divide" the human soul in two different beings? Same as how they couldn't separate part of the dragon soul away from Falin's without before consuming it's flesh? So maybe they burned the rest of the child's body to get rid of the rest of her soul in that second possibility

The AB comic about resurrection says you can't really bring back someone from pieces even if you try to resurrect all of them, so I'd ASSUME that's true for trying to use the same soul for different beings

Anyway these are my thoughts, I love Izutsumi's backstory is so fucked up and tragic... what was done to her is horrible.

[mihai-florescu]

Reading your enstars instagram post and man. I am so sorry. I am glad you can still find comfort in the old stories, i know i do. (Atp enstars only exists in the internet archives to me lol). Like you said, not everything after !-era is bad but damn if it hasn't been getting steadily worse. Awful to see something you once loved and held dear morphing into something else entirely. Not gonna lie, i'm almost scared to keep up with any stories releasing after this considering how much they have already made it obvious that they don't care. I don't wanna see the story get butchered anymore than this.

Unfortuantely, they probably won't go eos until they've milked every last penny out of the franchise. By that point i think enstars will be unrecognizable compared to what it had been in the past.

My only hope is that i've seen people specualting that this event wasn't written by akira and if that's the case i do hope akira manages to fight back and get his story back.

Also hi this is cookie btw i just moved bc i can't look at my enstars blog for the mean time

Hii, ive actually been talking about this all day with various friends, some more some less involved in enstars... i think it's everyone's right to distance themselves from something that doesnt spark joy anymore and has let them down. I will focus my reads on mostly ! era stuff but until it shuts down i will keep an eye out on the releases. I cant imagine a world where enstars is still going and i dont at least know the overview of whats going on.

As youve been on twt too, im sure you mightve seen that some of the critiques people are bringing now just to jump on the Hating Everything Enstars are stupid. Im thinking about the buddhism and christianity tweet in particular coming from someone who genuinely seems like they havent read many stories lawl. Theres a difference between actual problems and personal dissatisfactions that things arent the way you want them to be for various personal reason. People should learn their singular experience isnt universal, and characters in a story dont aim to speak for a universal experience either. It's not bad writing for a hidden christian in japan to behave differently from a canadian one, or for eichi to joke around with his childhood friend who happens to be buddhist. Anyway. I will always defend the parts of enstars i think were genuinely good, even if im getting worse at expressing myself in speech.

Anyhow... i dont want to speculate on internal problems but i really do wonder how much of this current direction was akira's choice and how much was happyele. He is no longer one of the only 2 writers (and main one, at that), i wouldnt be surprised if he doesnt have as much influence anymore. We know that in the beginning of es2 he expressed concern that everyone in happyele is insane...lol. He's not a perfect writer but the soul of enstars was brought by him.

Well, as i said, i dont want to speculate anything. I wish to not see so much negativity even on things that dont deserve hate, but ive always had issues with other fans' uninformed reactions. That'll never change even as enstars self destructs more and more. I can hold contempt for both the company and such fans, while treasuring the meaningful parts of the story and its impact on my life going forward too♡ ah my dear story that shouldve been a niche vn with a cult following of few but passionate fans instead of a gacha game gone stale disappointing old fans in pursuit of new ones with gimmicky shock writing...

[billiessillywife]

pov: you slowly start to get back to that sad phase and billie notices and helps you

warnings: talk abt suicidal thoughts and js really sad but also really cute fluff at the end

youre in the embrace of your warm and soft blankets getting cozy , in the comfort of you and your girlfriend’s house. girlfriend woah that sounds so odd coming from your mouth . billie’s been the perfect partner she’s been there for you always providing you with the affection you craved, you both helped each other in more ways than one. you 2 never talked about this but in each others heart you knew that this was so right so perfect it filled your heart and even overflowed it.

yet youre here in ur bed and ur doing it again. the constant over thinking , a battle , between ur own voice and thoughts and the one of ur enemy

“ the other voice the evil one”

what if billie decided i’m not good enough

i’m getting ugly anyways she’ll leave me

fuck this i’m just gonna end it

what if

what if

what if?

this is the reality of your own head its what you go through . a predisposed action in a way , it’s in ur nature . but ur sick of it it’s getting too much and ur tired so tired , usually billie helps you with navigating through it always reassuring you trying to keep u busy so that u dont fall back . unfortunately ur sweet baby is at the studio working on some stuff for her upcoming album . you’re so proud of her she’s your star an angel in every single way . billie is your destiny and forevermore . but you can’t help and wonder what if ur not what she wants . billie goes on her day meeting multiple people ones who are 100% really attractive maybe she falls for another girl? boy? maybe she starts to realize ur way too fucked up.

you’ve always been in question of ur own identity ur sexuality ur self image . growing up with certain norms you follow and that’s it . no in between the lines . but you fell right through when u realized that u liked girls the same way you thought you liked guys. the butterflies , the warmth , the softness , gentle touch so pure. one hell of a journey yet u fought it , went through the guilt , the thoughts really overwhelming you in so many ways through that u lost ur family some friends too bur ur here . and you met billie.

you run a hand through ur silky soft brown hair and take a deep breath

alr i got this , i’m okay

you go about ur way to the bathroom to wash ur face and get the mood right , billie is supposed to be coming in a few with some sushi and a movie night is scheduled for you two so u better get ur shit straight right?

you stare at ur reflection from the big mirror in ur lavish bathroom. and there it is , what you truly hated and the thoughts run around again

you over analyze each and every little detail of ur face and body tears start to form and u lean ur body on the counter to js take another breath

yr eyes look so tired billie is gonna notice

ur hair is greasy and need washing

u look like u gained a few pounds

stop eating and go to the gym

do something productive

don’t mope around

just stop.

tears left and it’s never ending

billie’s keys unlock the door and u hear her footsteps you can hear sharks adorable noise greeting his mama .

ur breathing grows heavier and faster and it all comes to you panic panic.

hey babyyy billie enters the house with a enthusiastic tone and the take out ready

bil im coming down give me a sec .

u mutter trying not to break ur voice and give billie a idea she can’t know.

you can’t stand you can’t speak and everything is so blurry u can barley see billie going into ur master bedroom and the bathroom door wide open so she sees u and panic struck her eyes.

layla layla omg baby whats wrong? .

billie falls down to the floor with you she’s seen this before but she genuinely thought u were getting better but u masked it so well.

layla honey breath with me tell me what’s wrong can i hold ur hand pls .

billie’s soft voice cascades through the room and ur ears u feel them pop and u can feel ur surrounding you look up at billie and you see her icy blue ocean eyes meeting ur brown ones.

you start to pick up on ur breath no words have been spoken till now billie understands that u won’t speak until ur stable again . you slowly pick ur trembling hands and lace them with billie’s .

bbbillie im okay i just i thought a lot and this made me liiike well this i’m sorrry pls don’t leave me pls i love you baby.

ur voice breaks again after that sentence . truth is your mind was a dangerous place a whole war zone there and u were frightened .

you’ve always dealt with the thoughts of hurting urself yet u never had the courage to go abt it . actually do it but it’s been a lingering thought for so long and like said before u were so tired.

you basically went by ur day normally u ate , u showered u went out with billie and even friends . but once ur mind was alone it ran and ran all the possibilities and thoughts come rushing in a hindered miles per hour. you went back to ur old habits as well eating to fill the void but when u see ur self in the mirror it’s like looking right back at the devil an awful sight. and the cycle begins again and again

billie dosen’t speak another word but she holds you so tight like never before . u can smell her vanilla scent through her shirt and it’s comforting its home where you belong . she keeps you in her arms all night with the food outside getting cold . but she’s with you and she’s got you she whispers i love you and soft whispers to you .

as long as you got her nothings gonna happens

youre okay now.