#ive only done one commission ever

[iceical]

Decided to draw Vicky! She turned out so adorable! Also I do commissions! Heres my Kofi

[spearxwind]

Thinking about the time i commissioned an artist i rly liked for something and the result was kind of really catastrophic just from the preview image in the email so i just. never opened the actual image

[saetoru]

Omg once you finish up the comms would you be willing to describe your expierience? Like was it hard to whip up something with what you were commissioned with and stuff like that? I'm super curious about the technical side of it

omg sure !! honestly ive never really seen people talk about the technical side of writing comms either (if they have i have missed it im afraid) and im rather curious what its like myself dkjhdf so i will give you a lil report of my thoughts after

[alchemiclee]

sometimes it's really unfair that popular accounts on the internet can convince their followers to pay them for basic, mundane, super easy things, or things they used to post all the time for free.....but I can't even get one art commission or anything of that nature 😭 popularity pays. hard work does not. I don't understand how the internet works lmao

[leesalchemybook]

I have discovered there's now a tipping option on here :0 would people hate me if I turned it on? i don't know what the views/attitude towards it are on here. would people see it and turn their noses up at me and my blog/content, or would they cheer me on and be like yeah get that bread or something! or would people laugh because i'm not a good enough artist to ask for tips or get paid for my work? D:

[sgnarl]

sgnarl 2024 updated comm post

helllooo. i know i updated my commissions last in january, but ive honestly improved and done a lot of work this year, so i felt the comm post needed to be updated

before we get into the details....

as always, if you're ever curious about the progress on a commission, just ask for an update and i'll send you one.

character credits: @loveaankilaq / @anaelwings, @goldencamelias, @orcapologist, @bearliquids, @hobgobbin , @too-many-muses , @mightymessenger @odiletheswanqueen

i only accept payment upfront & i will not negotiate on paying after. payment info at the end of post

you can contact me right here on tumblr dot com, just DM me!

Full Body Character - 30$

Add character +10$

Add shading & lighting +10$

Price points for the background can be negotiated based on the level of detail required, or if they are a complete or partial background

Portrait - 30$

Portraits will always be rendered

They will always have a "decorated" background (simple shapes, colors, concepts, or designs)

Portraits will always be from the bust up

Full Canvas - 70$

The full canvas option can get a bit abstract. Basically, you just sit and talk with me about your character/s, their aesthetics, occupation, their lore, specific poses or concepts you want and then I go ham on the canvas

It will always include some level of shading and lighting & some level of background, whether it is a literal setting or a decorated/abstract background

The base price is 70$. However, if you'd like to add another character (as shown in the second example), it will be +10$, just as it is with the Full Body Character option.

If you're only curious and want to discuss this option, feel free to DM me, no strings attached

Concepts I Will Accept

✔️ - some robot/cyber/mech stuff (i really determine case-by-case), furry/anthro, non-humanoid creatures, fantasy, sci fi, OCs, weapons, blood, nudity/suggestive

✔️ - some fandoms I'm familiar with are D&D, Marvel & DC comics/movies, Assassin's Creed, Disco Elysium, ATLA, Metalocalypse, The Wolf Among Us. I'm capable of doing any fandom artwork with sufficient references & have done so in the past

Concepts I Won't Accept

❌ - hateful imagery, underage/abusive/incest ships, certain fandoms (Harry Potter, Voltron, Supernatural are among these), gore, and ofc I reserve the right to deny anything

paypal: thundahouse

NSFW comm post (minors DNI this link)

Further various examples below

Furry/Creature

Full Canvas

Full Body

^ non standing poses can count as full body commissions

[wisheslost]

The white-eye warbles, the camellia blooms.

As a writer of Yae Publishing House, you have to visit the shrine for work purposes quite often— and it is on these shrine visits that you came to be even more acquainted with the yashiro commissioner, of whom you were previously known to only as that writer he had bumped into at the Irodori festival, in his sister's words; the most cliché way possible.

cw : mutual pining, friends/strangers to lovers, fluff, reader gets screamed at but its fine its not by ayato, no use of y/n, reader is technically an oc but is never referred to with a name. pls lmk if I should add more!

a/n : ive been meaning to post this but i kept stalling😭 sorry

wc : 5.4k

Kamisato Ayato is a smart man. The revered head of the Kamisato clan knows all there is to know about what's going on amidst the different commissions in Inazuma, but not a single clue does he have about the feelings you harbour for him, and who knows when he will?

You seldom had the opportunity to go to the shrine, and so, everytime you came down from the shrine, everytime you hurriedly made your way through Chinju forest, you did with the same intention in mind— to see Ayato. It didn't matter if he didn't notice you, just a glimpse of his face made your day better.

One of these very days, Ayato saw you pass, and much to your surprise, invited you in to have tea. In an attempt to be polite, and since you were done with work at the time, you accepted his sweet offer.

And so it continued — each time someone of the estate saw you passing by, they'd invite you in and offer you tea, while you tried your best to decline most of the time, sometimes it was just… not doable. Convincing Thoma was a hard job, but to persuade Miss Furuta to let you go was even more difficult. 

Now, Ayato wasn't always there, sometimes he was out for a meeting or was doing work in his chamber ( the same chamber you found yourself too unimportant to enter, the chamber that felt almost suffocating to you the one time you went in there. ) but even when he was, if he heard of you having came, he'd offer you to tea with the condition that you had to wait till his work was done. You loved his company, so who were you to deny it?

And perhaps that love you had for the time you spent with him turned into the love you had for him. 

You two weren't strangers. No, not at all. You bumped into each other during last year's Irodori festival, and in the most clichesque way ever, all your documents had fallen down, and being the gentleman he was, Ayato helped you pick them up ( obviously !).

Ayato found himself writing you a letter ever so often, and your reply to it that laid there among his official documents was the last to be opened of the day—but not the least, no, it was a way for him to conclude his day positively, or so he had told you. And as you two grew closer, you only found it easier to share your work with him, snippets of something you wrote that you were somewhat proud of , but that didn't make it into the published version of the story, a verse from a poem you gave up on writing, anything you thought he would like— you sent him, and eagerly waited for his reply. 

You'd read him some of your poetry time to time— each time you came by his castle of a house, and each time he simply stared at you until you finished, and would then ask you why you used a certain metaphor to describe a certain thing, to which you'd happily answer, or commend you for having thought of something in such a different way, and at the end, he'd pass a rather funny comment, even if unintentionally, such as one like "I want this framed on my wall." to which you could do nothing but laugh, while he simply gazed at the beauty the sky harboured, seemingly deep in thought. Why he always did that, you did not know, and you could only wonder, what exactly did he think of each time?

Is showing your unpublished work to someone outside the Yae Publishing House breach of contract? No... Well, not exactly. You had agreed to abstaining from showing anyone anything that has to do with your unpublished literary pieces, but you knew the publishing house wasn't ever going to publish the poems you wrote on your own. They would say things like the topic's too vague, the metaphors don't make sense, and that the writing didn't flow, whatever that meant. So, what you wrote for the publishing house was what they demanded from you— quite different than what you actually wrote. Alas, they don’t understand your words when they're not catered to them. But it's fine, Ayato did, and what more could you ask for? 

Actually, if given the chance, you would definitely ask for something more.

Kamisato Ayato understood social cues quite well, or atleast one would think he would, as that was a big part of his duty. So why he couldn't comprehend your feelings for him, was a mystery to you. But I guess understanding if someone likes you or not isn't really something listed in the skillset a Yashiro commissioner requires. 

Now, what he could and couldn't understand was not your problem, and would no longer be, not after you confess your feelings to him. You figured it would be easier to do if you just played it out like one of your usual interactions, and so you wrote a poem. A poem you'd innocently read out to him one of those days you happen to stumble upon his house, and with it, he'd finally understand. Finally understand you liked him. 

Something else popped up. A question much unappreciated. The worst outcome possible. “But what if he didn't like you back?” Well the poem isn't even for him then! It's from the point of view of one of my original characters— yes, that excuse is good enough.

But then the day finally arrived, you were finally there, sitting in Kamisato Estate's courtyard eagerly waiting for Ayato to be done with his meeting that had started just as you came, it was not often Ayato had meetings in his chamber, so it seems you just happened to have bad luck today. Sitting on the cushion, waiting for Ayato to be done, you found yourself making multiple revisions to that poem of yours, and in the middle of that, you were suddenly reminded of the meeting at Yae Publishing House you had this evening, but the thought soon slipped your mind as you thought of another line for the poem.

He had promised it would not take too long, but one hour had gone by just like that, and before you knew it, you were barely keeping awake, you couldn't help it, running on 2 hours of sleep from having worked all night, your mind was starting to shut down. Resting your head on the table was probably the first mistake you made that day— but one could argue there were plenty other mistakes made before that, such as not having slept in the first place. 

You usually came to meet Ayato around the evening, not only because his workload was lighter that time of the day but also because the publishing house's important meetings and discussions of the sort were held most often, if not all the time, early in the day. And that was precisely why you had forgotten about that meeting you had this evening. Was it the two hours of sleep or the anxiety from the whole confession thing? whatever it was, it was just making your day harder and harder.

It had been an hour and a half since you arrived at Kamisato Estate, the hour spent waiting and scribbling, and the half spent peacefully sleeping as no one bothered to wake you up. It wasn't that the staff of the estate couldn't care less about you, in fact, everyone around noticed you having succumbed to slumber. But who dare to awaken you, Clan Head's possible significant other?

It's true that Ayato was unbeknownst to your feelings towards him, but those at Kamisato Estate weren't. It was easy to tell you had a thing for him, much too obvious that every time you saw him in the eye your heart skipped a beat, and practically every one of the estate's staff thought you two were together, and just trying to hide it. To them, the way you looked at Ayato, was the way he looked at you. His, a loving gaze that never lets go of your frame, and a soul that so desperately wants to tell the whole world how much he loves you(— but hell, he couldn't even fathom telling you) and Yours, a stare that quickly tries to focus on something else when noticed by him, a heart too heavy with emotions— emotions that cannot find their way through speech, and are expressed only through words. 

And that serene and loving gaze was the first thing you saw being woken up, because in that whole house, no one except Clan Head himself would have the courage to wake you up. 

It's not until Ayato's voice echoes in your ears accompanied by the faint pitter-patter of the rain that you realise your noses are barely inches away from touching as he knelt down to your level.

“Oh, my writer, it seems you've slept most wonderfully in my absence, and on Thoma's jacket, huh?” his tone had a bit of sneer in it, as if he was jealous of the fact you had used Thoma's jacket as a pillow. And there was that— “my writer”, it stemmed from an inside joke, wherein once when he was transcribing a poem you wrote, you called him ‘my personal calligrapher’ which warranted the “That would make you my writer, hm?” and you knew it was a joke but goodness, he called you that only when people weren't around, and the way he said it everytime, Oh Archons!

But wait— You weren't supposed to be swooning over Ayato right now! You should be at the publishing house, attending that meeting— and so you rose up frantically to leave, apologies leaving your mouth rapidly,

“Lord Commissioner, I'm so sorry but I must go, I had an important work thing and I- I'm sorry! I should hav-'' and that is when you get cut off by Ayato's forefinger upon your lips, if that was an attempt to shush you- it worked. “Just go. I understand.” he said, and the reassurance in his voice and the slight smile on his face brought you right back to your senses.

And so you hurriedly put on your shoes to make a run for it, uttering one final ‘sorry’ to him, much to his dismay. And as you made it out the door of the estate, you heard Ayato's voice calling to you- “Take an umbrella!” to which you could only respond— “I'll be fine! The rain's not that bad!” because right now, saving face at the publishing house was far more important than a few drops on your clothes. 

Except it wasn't a few drops, you had greatly underestimated the power of the Hydro Archon, because by the time you reached the doors of the publishing house, you were completely wet from head to toe— and saving face was no longer present in your dictionary. In fact, you never even wanted to show your face again- and god, how many and who even were the people attending that meeting? because you were going to embarrass yourself in front of all of them right now.

The second you entered that room where the meeting was going on, as if your bad luck wasn't bad enough, you saw a figure too striking, bright pink hair.. fox ears.. and those eyes, those eyes that didn't take even a full two seconds to notice your presence and announce it to the whole room.

“Oh, look who's here! did the Yashiro Commission- er, reject you, my dear? or did you finally realise where your priorities should lie?” and right after she had said that, you could feel that theories about you and the commissioner had already began floating in the air of that room— whispers of a mixture of words like yashiro commissioner, head of the kamisato clan could be heard, and among them was that name a bit too familiar- Kamisato Ayato. How she knew about your yashiro commission shenanigans, you had no idea, but you weren't about to question her— Guuji Yae was no god, but people were convinced she definitely was omniscient, the way she never lacked information about the people she worked with. 

You could swear on your life that the stutter after the words ‘yashiro commission’ was done on purpose, and you'd live. What she was trying to imply wasn't too obvious, in fact, the way she said it, it could easily be interpreted as something entirely different— but what was also true, only it wasn't something you were comfortable with everyone in that room knowing. You couldn't manage to respond to that, ‘tleast not in a way that would allow you to keep your job. And so Guuji Yae's lips spoke again, this time out of pity for you. 

“But hey, better late than never.” she said, gesturing for you to come sit next to her. 

And so the meeting went on like normal. You were trembling terribly from the cold, dripping wet still but there wasn't anything you could do about it, and as the guy sitting next to you took notice of that and offered you his jacket, you could feel watchful eyes throughout the room landing upon you two, waiting for your response. With the amount of writers present in this room, you knew this interaction was making its way into a light novel soon. Thinking of a response was hard, accepting it would give birth to more conspiracies, but not accepting it would blatantly prove Guuji Yae's previous comment about the yashiro commissioner right. And before you could think of a response to that awfully nice gesture, you were snapped out of your thoughts by your editor, who was currently explaining something on a whiteboard, something you failed to understand because of the preoccupations your mind currently had. “(Name), are you even paying attention !?” were his words, and as if enough people weren't already staring at you, now the whole room was. A nervously spoken ‘sorry’ was all you could let out, and it wasn't even a proper answer to his question. 

The meeting dragged on for another 15 minutes— 15 dreadful, cold minutes. And when it was finally over and people were getting out of their seats and as if your luck wasn't already the worst, it only got worse-r as your editor called out to you right as you got up, “Not you. I still have to talk to you.”  Did he not see you shivering? Looking like a sopping wet cat? Did he not have an ounce of sympathy? 

As everyone else exited the room, you were forced to sit until who knows when. Guuji Yae was the last to leave, and before she stepped out the room, she called the editor over to speak to him, uttering something along the lines of what you thought was “Go easy on the poor thing, ok?” and was that poor thing in question you? most likely, yes. And good for that— he shouldn't think to disobey the owner of this whole establishment right? 

But he did. Or atleast, the words that followed after she left did not seem like him ‘going easy on you’ at all. 

The way he had his arms on the desk, the way his figure loomed over yours, that expression on his face… oh, you were about to be scolded big time.

“You, tell me. What exactly is your problem?” 

“I'm sorry, sir. It won't happen again, I apologise.” You couldn't even make eye contact with him as you spoke, and while your attempt at an apology was well delivered, it was terribly timed. 

“If you were so fucking sorry as you claim to be, tell me, what the hell has been bothering you so damn much to arrive late to an important meeting when i had reminded you so many times the previous day!?” 

Oh. That was a first— never before had you heard him swear like this, and you're pretty sure it probably falls under top 10 things you shouldn't do if you don't want to lose your job, but who were you to say? your job was being held together by a single thread made of miracles. 

“I'm really sorry sir, it was just something personal- I can guarantee you, it won't ever happen again.” Ah yes, the infamous personal issue: the inability to manage a schedule.

“Did someone pass away?”

“..No.”

“Someone fall gravely ill?”

“..No”

“Family issues?”

“No-”

“Then WHAT the hell’s been bothering so much you show up late to a meeting with GUUJI YAE? Do you seriously not understand how fucking embarrassing it is? For the writer I had to practically beg for the higher-ups to not fire even though you kept being late and crossing deadlines, to show up late again?” He had yanked you out of your seat with his right hand midway through his speech out of the anger he possessed as of current, becoming physical when angry wasn't uncommon, but for someone who you always saw as calm and cool, for someone who always put up with you no matter what, the breaking point had arrived, and it was wholly your fault. 

But you understood. Understood the reasons behind his furious reaction, for he was right, it was truly embarrassing, because that thread made out of miracles that was holding your job in place wasn't made out of miracles at all— it was made out of your editor's continued efforts to keep you in this organisation. 

When you didn't, well, more like couldn't respond to him, and he realised the outburst he had just made, he let go of your upper arm, and his hand went back to the desk with his other arm, and as he regained his senses, looking down at the desk realising what he just did, he tried to apologise-

“I didn't mean to-”

“I-it's fine. You don't have to say anything.” Cutting him off was usually not something you would do, but at this moment, it felt right.

“I'm sorry, Please leave. And please, please don't tell anyone about this.” You could see the regret in his face as he sat down on his chair, head in hands refusing to make eye contact with you and instead choosing to stare at the hardwood floor instead, and you knew if anyone found out about this you both would be kicked out the publishing house together.

“I won't. Good night, sir.” and as you exited that room, you could hear a faint “good night” from your editor, who was too ashamed to even speak any louder. 

And as you left, you failed to notice the bright pink figure of the Guuji beside the entrance of the conference room, who had eavesdropped on that entire conversation.

________

It had been 11 days since then. 11 days of Ayato wondering whatever it was that you wanted to tell him that day, hoping you would at least write him a letter. But no letter came, and neither did you. 

While the Kamisato's days went by quite peacefully and ordinarily, yours were much, much different. 

Back at Yae Publishing House that day, the Guuji held your editor back to tell him to get you to write some sort of romance novel around this plot– A careless writer who has amazing skill in writing, but barely manages to keep her job due to the troubles caused by her family, and her editor who has to beg the higher-ups to let her keep her job, who's also hopelessly in love with her.

While the plot is good, you weren't too happy having it recommended to you in that way. Does the Guuji think you have romantic feelings for your editor? or is it vice versa ? 

Whatever it is that the Guuji thought, it didn't matter right now, because she demanded the first volume of the comic book that was about to be serialised be done in 15 days. With 11 days already gone by, and everything done on your part, you finally had some leisure time to enjoy, leisure time you were spending laying on the floor in front of the fan sipping cold lavender melon juice peacefully, almost on your way to dreamland.

That is, until you heard a knock on your door. When you went to open it, no one was there, or so you had thought, not having noticed the little kid dressed like a mujina at your doorstep at first, looking sleepy as ever.

“Oh, hello! What is it that brings you here to my doorstep, little one ?” as you bent down to greet the sleepy child, you felt a muscle in your back ache. Ah, the consequences of having the worst sleeping posture known to man.

“I'm not ‘little one’. My name is Sayu. I'm from the shuumatsuban, and Mr. Yashiro Commissioner sent me to relay an important message to you.” as she finishes her sentence, she hands you a little paper from her back pocket that says “I have something important to speak to you about. Come meet me.  -your personal calligrapher” 

 Oh. You're done.

What could it possibly be about !? What could Kamisato Ayato, Clan head of the Kamisato Clan and the Yashiro Commissioner have to talk about that would be important to you !? Whatever it was, it was scaring you. 

“Do I have to go right now?” as nervous as you were, you were also curious, what the hell was this man upto? and actually, was he even upto something, or was this just something to get you to come to the estate as quickly as possible?

“Yes, that's what he said anyway.” as she said this, Sayu sounded so, so done with you and Ayato that you couldn't really do anything. It seemed like if you didn't go right now, as soon as possible, Sayu would fall asleep right on your doorstep. 

“Alright, then, let us leave. But wait- just one thing-” and so, you went to your bedside table to pick up that diary you always took to Kamisato Estate, the one you wrote that damnee confession in- but, it wasn't there? surely you placed it somewhere else when under the influence of fatigue and forgot.. Well, with Sayu's patience running thinner- you should probably just leave finding that diary to your future self.

Sayu was not at all interested in whatever it was that went on between you and Ayato, she kept quiet the whole way from your house to the Kamisato Estate, except for a yawn or two in the middle.  

Your attempt at distracting yourself from whatever it was that Ayato wanted to talk to you about by looking at the flowers and the trees as you made your way to the estate was not quite successful.. for as the dew drops fell off from the roses, you could feel yourself perspire as well.

When you finally stepped foot in Kamisato Estate, you saw him, Kamisato Ayato, simply leaning on his balcony ledge gazing at the horizon, unaware of your resence and all he made you feel. You were quite sure this amount of sweating could submerge Jinren Island. 

Jinren Island being submerged aside, no one was there at the estate except Ayato. Miss Furuta wasn't standing at her usual place, Koharu wasn't busy cleaning something that doesn't even look like it needs cleaning, and even Mr. Madarame was nowhere to be seen.

As you were busy analyzing the current state of the ground you were standing on, Sayu's voice spoke—

“Mr. Yashiro Commissioner, I brought them.” 

Ayato turned around, his eyes finally meeting yours after what seemed to be an eternity to him. 

“Oh, thank you Sayu. You may go now.”

As the man came to sit down, he signaled you to sit near him as well, contrary to how you would usually sit, on the opposite side of the table. “Sit here, you sure look like you need to.” his voice beamed, and you could feel your heart burst into eight thousand pieces upon hearing him talk to you again. 

While you were most delighted to finally talk to him again, you couldn't help but wonder where the staff went, therefore naturally, you asked him as he poured his tea from the kettle into his little cup,

“So… where's all the staff gone?” 

“Disappointed no one's here to give you free snacks, huh? Don't worry, I'm quite generous when it comes to my food, Here, want a sip?” and as his sentence came to an end, he offered you a cup of tea by raising it to your lips, which you pushed away as politely as you could. “You know I don’t drink tea, right? You asking me multiple times isn't going to change that..”

“Well, it was worth a try.”

“But seriously, where are all the staff? in all my days spent procrastinating here, I've never seen it so empty..” 

“I told them to take a break as I was going to have an important person over to discuss some very important, urgent matters, and for that discussion, I need some privacy.”

“But then why not have the meeting in your chamber? Enough privacy there, no?”

“Of course, of course, but you see, this client of mine, they think my chamber is really stuffy and feels suffocating. So naturally, I decided to have said meeting here.”

“Oh, so uhm, when is this meeting of yours? considering the staff are already gone..It must be soon, yes?”

“Oh yes, yes.. Infact, for the staff, the meeting has already started.”

“Wait.. Am I..?”

“Go on, you're almost there.”

“Jackass, I'm the ‘super important’ person you were meeting, huh?”

“See, this is exactly why this meeting is being held. The way you address me, the way you talk to me.. it's not exactly the usual way I'm addressed.. Not even my friends behave this way with me.”

“You have friends?”

“Of course I- See ! that's my point, you talk so nonchalantly to me, what do you think people would think of you as when they see you acting like this in public ?”

“Disrespectful? Discourteous? Rude? Impolite? Ill-mannered?”

“My beautiful Oxford dictionary, that's not what I meant. Don't you think people would look at us joking around and think of us as lovers ?” 

As soon as you heard that “beautiful”, oh goodness, you were done for. you had fallen so deep in love with this man it was beyond any find and rescue team to help you. you couldn't make an answer to that statement, no, you were busy in dreamland wondering if all these people at the estate saw you and Ayato talk to each other and thought, “oh, these two definitely have something going on.” 

Snap. one snap of his fingers in front of your face, and you were thrown right back into reality. 

“So?”

“Uhm, we don't go out much, actually, we've never gone out together, so that's not a problem as far as I'm concerned.”

“The way you say it.. it's almost like you're mad we never go out.”

“Well, we don't. I've never even stepped foot on the east side of the estate.. let alone go anywhere with you.”

“Hm? Let's go there then.” near the end of his sentence, he placed his teacup down and got up, walking to the same place he was standing before you came here, and so you followed. 

As he leaned on the ledge of the balcony, his body facing the horizon, he looked at you, hands crossed, yours facing him. 

“So? What do you think, are we qualified to go out now?” he spoke, turning towards you, and as he turned, he looked up at something and then smirked, his eyes returning to you. Goodness, he looked so hot— but wait, what was he staring at? before you could fully turn your head to face behind you, his left arm quickly got hold of the side of your neck that you were about to turn, “Why are you-”

“Answer my question first.” throughout this exchange, his hand was still there on your neck holding it from turning around.

“Yes, we can go out together, but what the hell is behind me that you don't want me to see?”

Leaning in towards your ear, he spoke. And to say his lips were one breath away from touching your temple is an understatement. “You remember the thing i told you about the staff, right? Well, they've all gathered near the first window of the second floor, and are currently looking at us, waiting for something to happen.” while he said all this, he was staring daggers into Thoma's soul, who, being the one who accidentally spread the rumour that Ayato was going to confess his feelings for you today, was awkwardly smiling at the slightly pissed off clan head, whose confession of love was about to turn into a source of entertainment for his staff, and of course, something to tease him about later for his sister, also present with the staff. Finishing his sentence, he finally pulled away from you. 

“But.. waiting for what to happen..?” trying to get the butterflies in your stomach to calm down from what just happened, you focused back on the conversation. 

“Waiting for me to confess.”

 Stop the clock. He didn't mean confess his love, did he? Surely there's no way.

“C-confess what!?” 

“That- ah, I can't believe I'm saying this in such an ordinary way, but listen, I'm not a man of poetry, or atleast, writing it. I tried to, believe me, but it just looked so awkward to me, nothing compared to what you wrote for me in your diary-”

“YOU READ THAT POEM?”

Ayato put his hands on your shoulders, and in an attempt to calm you down, spoke forth. 

“Hey now! Let's calm down, alright? I didn't read anything beyond the 9th line because Ayaka snatched it away from me, so please, don’t be mad. I should have realised I was in no place to open someone else's very personal diary, and I don't even know if that poem was meant for me, but I just-”

“No.. Ayato, you're.. You're too sweet. I'm sure you had no ill intentions, I only freaked out because it was so surprising, and since it was indeed meant for you. And you can read the whole poem afterwards, but for now, please, please go on about what you were telling me.”

“I can't just go on like this, not after you've told me you wrote about me- Me, of all people! Me, after you've written about the sun, the seas, the sky, the surreal- after all that, you wrote about me. And so beautifully, too, I can't go on, not with my life, not with whatever it was I originally wanted to say.” his expression was one you had never seen before, so full of innocence, he looked like a wet puppy in the rain, like he'd die of a cold if you didn't shelter him right away, and you could swear you saw tears welling up in his eyes, and all this because you wrote about him, all this because his feelings were returned, all this because he finally felt loved. 

You couldn't even respond, hell, you couldn't even choke back tears, and so as you were processing his words, you wrapped your arms around his torso and went in to hug him, sobbing into his chest. He returned the hug, one arm around your shoulders, and one running over your head, a tear dropping on your head as he did.

When you both pulled away from the hug, it was just laughter and wiping away each others’ tears, until you both were staring at each other fondly. And then Ayaka's voice could be heard from the back— “I told you they wouldn't kiss!” followed by a subdued Thoma, “my mora..”

“You know we can hear, right? And betting on my love life? Seriously?” As Ayato turned to reply to his sister, the staff scurried away, not wanting to be noticed by him, and as amused as you were, you didn't join in on the conversation, instead choosing to pull Ayato's collar towards yourself and pulling his lips onto yours. Before Ayaka could respond, Ayato leaned in to the kiss, cupping your face with his hands, and you could feel him smirk a bit.

He chuckled while pulling away from you, turning to a very surprised Ayaka and Thoma, mouths open in bewilderment,

“So... I guess Thoma wins?”

[acid-ixx]

ive recently read this post made by @pantalonte and it's reminding me of hard-dom yandere scaramouche that people often write and nooo i can't tolerate it at all </3

i don't know much about kaveh but what i do know is that he's passionate, a perfectionist, and he cares too much. and when he's obsessed with you then it evidently seeps into his personality. he'd love to share ideas with you, love to see your interest in his crafts, and he'll make sure that with whatever topic you've talked about with him— he's done research on.

it's no doubt that even his roommate would eventually become annoyed at the incredibly obsessed architect who does nothing but yap about you, you, and you. how he'd love to settle in with you by the near future with a house, no, a mansion that he specifically crafts in regards to your tastes (but you're not even in a relationship, yet). wouldn't you relish at the fact that he has multiple blueprints finished that are all inspired by you? he may not earn a lot but he's even willing to take painful commissions that don't cater to his aesthetic just so he could save up some mora for your future home. he knows that his love for you is oozing in every bit of his life but he can't help it at all- he's never drowned in love before he even met you; and he've so much love to offer you.

he's definitely one of the more subservient and submissive yanderes that i could tackle. after all, i can imagine him kneeling on a cold, hard floor if you're on the meaner side, just to please you. he's also the type to be easily jealous and showy on his affections, at the same time flustered if you show him an ounce of it. if someone else were to flirt with him then whoever that person may be, i'd feel bad for because he won't shut up, in a defensive tone no less, about how nobody else can can compare to you: his muse, his love, his world, his everything. but when you flirt with him then he'll have no responses to come back with because his mind is hay-wiring.

jealous yan kaveh! is not only obsessive possessive, but wants to be possessed by you, in a way. he wants to be your only object of affection. he wants your eyes on him; and he'll make sure of that. if you've specific tastes then he'll cater to it, whether it'd be striking up a topic with you on a casual day or even going as far as stealing all your attention and time to ask for your opinion on a future 'mansion' he's planning to build (you wouldn't even know that every single one of your opinion is taken seriously to a T).

murder is definitely not first in his mind whenever his brain is clogged with the thought of competition, but he finds himself subconsciously guilt-tripping whoever is taking your attention, and sometimes even you because of how terribly he keeps his emotions in check. and because he opens up his heart to you, you're well-aware about his financial issues and that's a topic he'd vaguely mention in a conversation with you, and a useless face with a name he won't remember. he's independent, yes, but your sympathy and pity on him is something he'd unknowingly devour as you become closer with the architect.

his heart flutters at the thought of you helping him with a project, or a domestic life where he most certainly caters to the idea of being your house husband. he's passionate, so it won't be long 'til he learns a thing or two about housekeeping. and if he messes up on chores, then who's to say you wouldn't help your poor, needy husband? ahhh, just dreaming about your futures sure does things to his beating heart.

drunk yan kaveh! would be the cutest company you'll ever have if he's with you, and would be the most annoying if not. with his intolerance to alcoholic beverages, he'll be bound to confess. and no doubt that he's a light drinker but you'll never expect him to be drunk after a few shots, no? he's all over you, blushing and giggling and muttering about how you're the love of his life; his soulmate. he nearly falls off his seat trying to scoot over to your body, attempting to hug you, dare even kiss your cheeks and nape if you permit it. his head lolls over your shoulder as he whispers directly beneath your ears that you're the most stunning person he's ever had the joy to meet, that if he could (and most definitely would)- he'll offer you the world, maybe the universe, even if it's impossible.

[majoryeager104]

and after all these years i finally have

ANOTHERRR REQUEST

sorryz i died ive been busy af lately ://

bUt de request issssssss drum roll plEeaSe

hawks and dabi decorating de chirstmas tree with their s/o? :33

omg I love the Christmas ones sm yes also hi welcome back hehe

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

𝘏𝘈𝘞𝘒𝘚

(a/n this fanart is too cuuuuute 😭😭😭)

“Make sure to separate them Keigo! Don’t put the ornaments too close together”

“alright, alright”

The two of you had been at it for a while- setting up the tree, hanging the lights just right, and now, you were hanging ornaments. You’d always found this task enjoyable, even when alone. But something about Keigo being there with you made it a much sweeter task, especially considering he’d never done it before.

Growing up in the situation he did, as a kid, he usually counted himself lucky when he’d get to see Christmas trees decorated in stores or in the houses of families that fared much better than his- he loved the idea of it, despite his parents constantly telling him what a waste of time the very holiday was.

When he began his hero work, he could never find time to even try the holiday tradition, constantly jetting around with those wings of his, under the wiles and commands of the hero commission. So when you gave him the opportunity to carve some time out to decorate your tree together, it didn’t take much convincing to have your bright eyed boyfriend hanging lights with a grin.

It was adorable really, the way he carefully and yet ever so childishly hung the ornaments you passed to him, and you’d catch him eyeing the way you did it too, where you hung them to make sure they didn’t fall, quietly learning with a sweet smile on his face.

Before the two of you knew it, the ornaments were hung, and he was looking between you and the decorative star with a giddy expression, and, as if reading his thoughts, you gestured him to put it on. These little moments of excitement were exactly what you wanted when you invited him over- you couldn’t help but want to see this vulnerable side to the number 2 hero, whom you so fondly called yours. You wanted him to experience these moments that he never had growing up. So, you watched with a wide smile as he carefully placed the star atop the tree, the both of you then kneeling to plug everything in. As soon as the lights gleamed on, you could hear him gasp softly at your side. You glanced over at him as he looked between you and the tree, a wide eyed smile on his face. “Merry Christmas, Keigo” you smiled, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. He glanced at you, his wide smile growing softer as he wrapped an arm around you, the two of you looking back up at the tree you’d both so lovingly decorated.

His eyes still darting between you and the tree, Keigo couldn’t help but laugh a little, pulling you closer as he kissed the top of your head. “yeah…Merry Christmas, y/n”

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

𝔇𝔞𝔟𝔦

“What if I set it on fire”

“DONT YOU DARE”

“but it would be lit?”

“NO.”

Touya snickered at your annoyed face, the way your lip curled into a pout while your brows furrowed just enough to show your vexation- adorable was his only word to describe it.

He glanced up at the tree, how your side was neat and delicately well decorated, and his seemed thrown on haphazardly. He would have done better, but he was too busy teasing you. It was far too fun for him to just let these moments pass by without pulling a few pouts from you.

But… he thought, he also liked it when you smiled. So he sighed, and begun fixing his side of the tree, glancing back at you every so often with his own pout. You were too busy to pay attention to his good work, your eyes transfixed on a certain set of cookies you were icing in the kitchen. “Oh come on…” he mumbled under his breath, his eyes moving back to the tree, where his nimble fingers were working to adjust his previous nonchalant decorating job.

You glanced over, a small smile forming on your face as you realized what he was doing. Carefully you lurked over, and before he knew it, you were behind him, wrapping your arms around his torso, your gentle hands on his chest as you hugged him from behind.

His eyes widened ever so slightly at first, relaxing with a chuckle shortly after. “Hey.” He said quietly, fixing his final ornament- it was all better. “Thanks Touya” you smiled, leaning up on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek, earning a small smile from him. “Didn’t do much, just fixed it a little, or something” he mumbled, glancing back at you.

You laughed softly, your eyes lingering on him for a moment before glancing back at the tree, your head on his shoulder. You knew he’d not done this in a long time, decorated for the holidays with a loved one. it was actually something you were attempting to remedy tonight when you invited him to decorate with you. Clearly, your attempt had succeeded, you could practically see the nostalgia on his face as he glanced back at the tree as well, his own small smile lingering as he admired the work you both put in. “Ready to plug it in?”

“I could hypothetically still set it on fire if you reeeaaally want it to glow”

“Touya.”

“Just kidding!”

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

A/n loved making Keigos all sweet and sappy and Touyas just over there like “can I set it on fire :D”

[dapper-lil-arts]

So uh. My freelance work here is kind of dying.

I thought i'd keep my long-term followers on the know-how, so i might as well write about my current circumstances here, give y'all an update, so to speak.

So, for several reasons, most of them not even my fault, i've been getting less and less commissions, almost none, actually, and the ones i get are usualy on the cheaper side, which is bad concidering that this is my livelihood, commission money pays my bills, my groceries, and my taxes, and now i sure as hell am strugling to imagine this will sustain me for long. Twitter is a sinking ship ever since elon went over, Specificaly for people like me. I had just broken into 12k followers there, a huge milestone for me, and then i got shadowbanned, and for the last few months i've gotten *nothing*. It's completely dead, i'm stagnated there, all my arts are censored, and there's no way for me to undo it or fix it, and so i've gotten less and less comms out there, which sucks because its the only reason i was even on that stupid site. Here on tumblr, meanwhile, the CEO went on a massive transphobic streak, and a lot of lgbt folk (which composed a lot of my following,) decided to jump ship, and i sure as hell dont blame them, but sadly that's more potential costumers that bailed, and there's no proper website to go to. Anywhere i'd go, i'd be starting from scratch again, which would be utterly disheartening and frustrating, and there no website that is kind to artists, with no algorythim, that also have a messaging system (the latter being ESSENTIAL to the way i do comms) So i'm kind of stuck. I just. have nowhere to go, and nothing to do. And last but not least, my own fault, I've just been drawing and creating what *I* specificaly want, on an hedonistic streak this year. That's why theres so much pony bs on this blog now, and why i was straight up posting poetry a while back, and have written hundreds upon hundreds of fanfiction pages in the last few months; Which, unfortunately, is a terrible business decision if your intent is making money. Which I surely should have prioritized, but in the end, its not up to me, its up to the costumers... So now i'm a bit stuck. I've enjoyed the things ive drawn and written more than anything i've ever done, and yet, i've never been less successful on the actual business side. I'm still considering my venues, my possibilities, but there's not many. Trying to get a job would certainly pull me away from creation, and i'd hate it regardless of what it was, and on another venue, theres no guarantee that going back to furry titties would bring me money.

and that's whats heartbreaking about it too. no matter how much effort i put on my work, theres no guarantee of sucess, so why even spend time trying to craft a masterpiece? why not just follow trends and make a tiktok account or whatever the fuck makes money these days. I'd rather not, frankly. And i wont. Well, that's about it. Thanks for reading this update, that's how my life is goin atm. i'm going to continue doing as i am right now, but yknow... I'm not sure what i should do, if you want to give me suggestions, feel free.

[meltedbluecaterpillar]

Hemophiliac

you are here - ch. ii - ch. iii - ch. iv

A/N: This is a commission for @twisted-desires . I am a big fan of vampires and this will be another male!reader. The AU is... It is a little modern... But more... A form of the 50's or 60's in a way. Don't think too hard about it...

tags: vamp!male!reader x noble!riddle rosehearts, aged up au (Riddle is 20+, reader is 200+) wc: 1k+

Riddle sobbed quietly, stuffing some of his clothes into a small leather suitcase. Big round tears rolled down his cheeks as he wiped at his face with a pale shaking hand. “She’s so… Just so awful to me…” He whispered under a croaked breath. Hiccuping softly he crossed the room to grab his coin purse from his vanity, adding it to his suitcase as well. Riddle Rosehearts has always obeyed his mothers wishes. He has always done what she asks of him even if he didn’t want to. But this was something he would refuse to do.

His mother is the most well respected doctor in the country. Especially being a woman in the field of medicine while his father was off in another country for reasons he couldn’t get answers to. He wondered if the reason his mother arranged a marriage without Riddle’s knowledge was because of this. Just telling him over lunch this afternoon that he was set to marry a woman he has never met before. “Just because I’m twenty years old doesn’t mean I want to marry… She married when she was twenty three… Maybe I want to wait…” Riddle grumbled bitterly to himself as he zipped the suitcase shut and looked around his large bedroom. It was illuminated by a yellowing gas lamp chandelier high above him. 

Everything he owned was selected by his mother. Clothes, books, the very bareboned decor… Even the cream and olive colored wallpaper with fern lace. He had nothing of his own that he could truly feel attached to in this large and lonely manor. It was hardly a home. It was just a place he lived in. That is why it felt so much easier to run away under the cover of the gray, cottony clouds and the blacked out moon. He sniffled away one final time before grabbing a thin necklace with a small silver cross, and his thick, red, traveling cloak. The sky was starting to rumble, and the delicate tap of rain pelted against his bedroom windows. 

It was dark. The moon had vanished as he slipped past the servants quarters, down the marble stairs, and out the heavy doors of the manor. He held tightly to his leather suitcase, keeping it protected beneath his cloak as the rumbling grew louder and the rain fell harder. Riddle cautiously avoided the puddles as he raced up to the iron gate. His body was thin enough for him to slip through, but his bag was the problem. He pulled and grunted, attempting to yank the bag through the bars before slipping and landing on the soaked ground. His bag tumbled into a large mud puddle on the other side. He would be traveling even lighter than expected. 

Riddle despised the dirt, but he had no time to complain. He had to leave now or be trapped in a loveless marriage with a woman he didn’t know. The young man kneeled in the softened earth, sticking his arm through the water soaked bars to pull his bag close enough to dig through. Riddle would only take his coin purse and abandon the rest. It didn’t matter. All of his clothes are things his mother bought him. Riddle rose to his feet, the small purse tight in his icy fingers as he began to walk down the lonely dirt path. No destination in mind. Only the rain and cold kept him company as the manor shrank behind him. Riddle had never done anything like this. He had fantasized about running away. Of vanishing into thin air with no traces of him ever existing. But everyone reaches a breaking point. This was his. 

It was exhilarating, 

This newfound freedom to wander the world as a proper adult. No one would tell him what to do. Riddle could live in the forest among the deer and the little bluebirds. He could bathe in the rivers and nap in a patch of clover. All very idealistic despite the stormy weather. But that would be for the future when he abandons the modern world for a life among the trees. For now he needs somewhere to hide from the rain. “If I seek shelter from Trey… My mother will surely find out. Pinkā is completely out of the question.” He murmured as he found himself nearing a wooded area. If he camped out in a cave for the night he would have better luck in the morning. With the moon and stars hidden it was impossible to see anything. So he would just have to pray. The foliage was thick, branches swatting against Riddle’s legs as he continued his trek. His boots continuously became stuck in the soft soil, and it became harder and harder to walk among the dark trees. Riddle didn’t mind. He actually was enjoying himself. 

For the first time in his life he was able to go somewhere alone. Even if he had no real destination in mind, his mother wasn’t holding his hand. Riddle is an adult and he wants to be seen as one. As he walked, he made it to a clearing. One he couldn’t recall ever seeing near the manor in the past. A small manor, appearing ancient and gothic with its architecture. A large iron gate surrounded the area but Riddle was confident in his thin frame to squeeze through the bars. The cobblestone path clicked beneath his heels as he avoided the larger puddles. The plants all looked dead, yellowing and bone dried under the sun. Riddle walked closer and closer, feeling the chill from the sleet starting to settle into his bone marrow. Maybe the place was abandoned? He now stood at the doorstep, staring at the heavy oak double doors with a trembling fist. He would knock and announce himself. If no one answers he will just let himself in. It isn’t a crime to break into an abandoned building. Riddle will just say he was sleepwalking. 

Before Riddle could muster any more courage, the door suddenly opened and a masculine frame greeted him. But something felt wrong. Riddle just hasn’t pieced together what.

[kingcunny]

Both Viserys and Rhaenys ended up with likenesses carved after deaths but they feel wildly contrasting to me.

Viserys's is huge, grand, a part of long line. It's done out of tradition, it's putting forward an idea of a legacy and a new name of "Viserys the Peaceful" - it's not even representative of Viserys during the majority of his reign as he's healthy. It's done because it has to be done.

Whereas Rhaenys's is smaller but freer. She will travel, as part of that ship. She will lead. It's also connected to the real woman, more, even having a name she had in life, and looking how she looked in death, with her armour. It's done not because it HAS to be, but out of love.

What are your thoughts, if any?

this isnt really related to what you said but its something ive been thinking about so im gonna use this as a jumping off point.

but i think its really interesting that viserys statue has his valyria model in it, because it was such a private, personal thing. its not something anyone who didnt know him personally knows about. his statue makes him look like he was a city builder, but he wasnt. he wasnt anything. he just coasted on his grandfathers goodwill. but its trying to give him something, some legacy. i dont think it hit me until now that he was never called ‘the peaceful’ in life. thats really only a name you can earn in death

ive also questioned who commissioned the viserys statue (otto, certainly) and just like the idea that viserys statue was created as a form of legitimacy, a claim to power. just like everything else otto and alicent have done to set aegon up for the throne. but the inclusion of the valyria model feels so intimate to me, wondering if this was when otto first started to realize he missed viserys…

i actually dont remember rhaenys figurehead so i had to go back and rewatch that. and like you said i love that shes free, shell travel, able to lead in a way she wasnt ever given in life. the ship will carry on her name. her statue was made out of love and honor, dedicated to the life of a woman who was loved. verus viserys statue being made due to tradition, dedicated to his death, forever chained in the throne room- the thing that killed him. it doesnt honor his life and legacy like rhaenys does, it tries to create a new one…

[sagemoderocklee]

For The WiP Folder Game, I'd like to know (if nobady has already asked about it) about "The Beautiful Beast of Cāngdì" Thanks!

ohhhh im so excited you asked this one! ive been soooo eager to get this fic started and i keep almost doing so and then gettin sidetracked

so this is a magical creature AU! i got the prompt from a fic prompt blog like right after finishing Pearl-Filled Lungs, and since I'd just done that I wanted to do something different so I decided to do a dragon fic! in this fic, Lee is a dragon (based on Chinese dragons.)

the title is a play on Lee's epithet, Konoha's Beautiful Blue Beast, and Cāngdì comes from the Wǔfāng Shàngdì and means 'green deity' or 'green emperor'.

so far i have a summary of the overall fic and brief chapter-by-chapter summaries, along with chapter titles. this fic will be 9 chapters long based on the Chinese association of dragons and the number 9.

here is the majority of the summary i have:

Lee is a dragon, kidnapped from his home atop the eastern peak of Mount Cāngdì. He's young for a dragon, and thus small, and he cannot do most magic or fly making it easy to capture him. He was abducted by people in the exotic animal trade, who had been commissioned by the kaze daimyo. He had intended it as a gift for his daughter but she is scared of Lee, and so the daimyo uses it to boost his own ego, parading Lee out at formal events and political meetings and the like. On his 20th birthday, Gaara is sent to live in the daimyo's court at his father's behest. Rasa does not trust Gaara and hopes that the courts influence on his youngest will change his idealistic ways. Plus, Rasa is hoping for a political marriage between Gaara and the daimyo's daughter, something which Gaara has no interest in. One night, he stumbles upon Lee's prison. He tries to approach, but Lee doesn't trust him and Gaara is forced to leave. After that first night, Gaara goes back to Lee repeatedly to earn his trust, and eventually they develop a friendship. Gaara is the only person Lee has ever spoken to in all the years he's been imprisoned in the daimyo's palace[...]

anyways, im really excited to work on this fic and sad i dont have like a snippet i can share, but i do have the fic banner! thanks so much for the ask!

[ghostiebopper]

how my writing has evolved; what i'm writing now

ive grown a lot as a person this year. i've learned how to use boundaries and what i want to learn from and expect from other people...but how does that affect my writing? what have i learned? and why have my characters changed so much?

what am i working on?

well...

for context, let's expand a bit on what my writing typically entails.

i write as a hobby, for my own characters, and i've written them in many scenarios, in many genres, and have over 11gb of content for them that is only in written word. i have more content for them that's drawn (by me), commissioned, etc. but it does not nearly amount to even half of what i've actually written for them.

now, it's worth mentioning, at this point, that:

im not done this journey

my characters are not nearly the same that they were merely months ago, much less a year ago.

generally, my writing focuses on two of my characters (although I have many!). this is usually marion (trans male, he/him, which i will explain in a later post bc i have pretty specific reasons for this. not that trans people need to be justified.) and luca (cis male, he/him)

why them?

i love them. i love their relationship. i want that, too! but, also, i feel like their struggles reflect my own in some ways. they are me...in a way, at least.

this is my outlet to explore things that i cannot access myself. relationships (friendship, romance, etc), scenarios (you ever wanted to be, like, a fairy? or...have magic powers? yeah. me too.) but i feel that in recent scenarios i also am more closely examining the interpersonal relationships between my characters, and their specific characteristics.

they're like this, but why? what made them that way?

why do these people love each other? why do these people hate each other? will that change?

why does this happen? does that have a point to it? is this gratuitous?

what's my end goal?

i think before, i wrote rather aimlessly. if i had goals, they were not very broad. i wanted cute dialogue, cute scenarios, maybe some drama...(although, i have written some extremely dark, depressing content, admittedly.)

right now, though, i'm more thoughtful about what i'm putting down, and why it's necessary. what it's contributing.

sometimes "oh, that's cute" is good enough. but it's usually a little deeper than that...

i think more in general.

"why does that person do that?"

"why do i hate that?"

"why do i like that?"

"is there a point to xyz?"

"what do i need to do right now?"

"what needs to change?"

etc.

my writing feels a lot more fulfilling, lately. i do not have to justify all my thoughts or actions, but i feel like i'm able to understand both my own writing and myself better, and feel more confident in how things end up, when things are able to come full circle...sometimes things still end up running away from me. but i don't feel the same "okay, i dunno how to deal with this anymore, i'm giving up now!" and now it's "well, we'll come back to that." which is...pretty big!

currently i'm working on...a couple of things.

the biggest one is a story about...politics, sort of?

luca is the son (and only male heir) of, more or less, a dictator.

forrest (luca's father) is the king of the land and, after being humiliated by the queen of the elven race in the lands that his family has sought after for ages, one day decides to pretty much take them when he has the opportunity (which is a whole story in itself.)

there's nothing to lose, exactly, by not doing so—but there's a lot to take, still. and after what the queen did? he's pissed. so he does some...pretty horrible stuff! and it's not justified, at all.

but it also serves a story goal. which...i will touch on. later.

marion is the son of the elven queen who ends up being taken from his home and pretty exploited. he's trapped, stripped of his magical powers, and nobody has any respect for who or what he is...except luca.

it's NOT a story of "love at first sight" or whatever. luca sees what his father did, he knows it's wrong, and the first thing he does (when he sees a chance, and has made up his mind, at least) is to go to marion and tell him (nervous, because he's never really gone against his father, but his morals are stronger than his loyalty to his father) "i want to fix this. eventually. but it won't be immediate."

it's worth noting that the document is not in a state i feel comfortable letting other people read in it's entirety, though it currently stands at about 83 pages. there's...so much missing. so much still in my head.

regardless. there are several key points i've been trying to keep in mind while writing this

i do not think this will necessarily be "happily forever after", because...what will that make luca's promise? he's being sincere, and he has the intention of following through. that never changes. they will probably part in the end. but that doesn't mean that that's a bad ending, necessarily, or that the story isn't worth being written/reading.

they do fall in love. but they probably wouldnt if they werent stuck in the situation they are in. that said, it's not a "stolkholm syndrome" kind of situation, either. they are both in a bad situation, where luca's father has pressure against him mounting as luca continues to grow a spine, and marion is stuck in a place that is extremely suffocating. it's...a lot more complicated than that, but let's just put it that way. that said—they come to find comfort in one another, although it is absolutely not immediate.

marion is constantly trying to push luca's button's in the beginning, for one thing. he hates this man. he doesn't know him. why is this person kind to him? he wants to see him snap. he wants to see him suffer. MARION is suffering.

luca is doing his best to juggle things and stand by his own principals as best as he can without the changes he intends to make becoming obvious—because just his promise to marion is absolutely huge, and it will have huge repercussions on pretty much literally everything. if his father knew? there's no way he'd allow him to succeed the throne. so they have to keep quiet. and this list of things luca eventually wants to do as king only grows. it's becoming more uncomfortable as he realizes he truly cares about marion and wants to keep him safe, and he ends up more and more at odds with the person he realizes his father is. forrest hates this, too, because his son used to be obedient, and...um...it gets...heated...eventually.

this except below is from pretty far in!

to say the least.

now, you may be thinking, "okay...but if his dad's that big of a piece of shit, why is luca different?"

remember how i said the story is missing a lot? i have reasons. it's very related to his childhood and upbringing, and the kind of person his mother is. but i havent ironed out all the specifics yet. maybe some people are born with good hearts. but i think it really needs to go deeper than that, when you're raised at least near a maniac like luca's dad.

it's important to note: forrest is kind to his children. or he was...until they started to voice their own opinions. his daughters are safe. they have no expectations beyond "okay, well, get married or whatever" cuz..this takes place like, hundreds of years ago. im sorry im using some historical/societal expectations to fit my narrative but. uh...anyway. luca learned early on that he needs to keep that kind of thing to himself.

a little more on luca: he basically didnt let himself get angry for a long time. so when marion comes in, and so much injustice is absolutely blatant, and he comes to care for him, personally? he can't hold it back anymore, but he also doesn't really know what to do with it. how do you navigate when your father has the kind of power that luca's father does? luca is the crown prince, but he is a pawn.

and when he can't control it anymore, when he can't still be the person who's known for being so loyal, and so well-mannered? when a man in his position needs to keep things calm, to protect the person he cares about? when he could have just cost them both so much by giving in to fleeting anger? (the below excerpt doesnt go into that specifically...yet.)

he feels absolutely wrecked.

he throws up in a bush after that lmao

anyway! this story has a lot of...political implications. and it's not very straightforward, because due to that, i need to keep in mind that things will have a ripple effect.

luca is able to, for a while, get them out. but he can't avoid the things his father does forever. and at some point, he ends up being forced to be complicit in some things, and that really messes him up. i havent written that part yet, because it will require a lot of balance and be pretty rough. i want luca to be a good person, but i wonder if that's going to be feasible in the end. i want him and marion to part on good terms, but will that be possible, either?

there's...a lot to consider. and i need to do some historical research on war/politics. luca's role is not entirely clear due to the rather unclear information i have on the role of a crown prince in the government

luca's story is a lot clearer because it's a little more personal. but also, marion's arc really comes in later. he has to learn how to cope, how to hold his tongue and not throw fists. but he will eventually return home and have to learn his place again, if he even has one at that point. because luca does fulfill his promise, but...marion's home has changed so much when he finally is able to return. they've had to learn how to function without a true ruler, under forrest's reign, after a war to suppress their people and their people's magical abilities. they dont know or trust marion when he returns, because as far as they know, marion just went along with everything wholeheartedly. marion and luca do end up having 2 children. how is that supposed to look like opposition in any way?

there's like 50,000 things going on. it's not nearly finished.

alright. thats where im ending this. im so tired

peace

[awoken-artist]

Important Update!: Hard drive issue

So I have announced this early on my discord server community I have about this situation. So not long ago about a few weeks ago my hard drive decided up and then to refuse to open again and give me a notification it has "malfunctioned".

I panicked when I couldnt get into my hard drive at all and lead me to have a mental breakdown. Heres a reason WHY though is because of the fact all of my artworks, vods ive saved ever since i started streaming for the first time on twitch as my first time vtubing, even videos ive created for years and film projects to look over, sounds and music ive saved even from places i probably cannot get back anymore, gifts from lovely people and friends even art trades and commissions ive also saved as well.

a fuuuuuck ton of art ive saved from YEARS of drawing are on there along with photography works even personal photos and videos.

so yeah i panicked like shit because my whole life work is in that damn thing.

My mom and dad manage to find a program to pay to get everything as much as we could to be able to move stuff over. we bought a new hard drive and its currently being used to copy stuff over. and me going through to make sure the amount of files on the hard drive to the new one match and if it doesnt we can focus on the single files that focus's on it to move over.

and this takes...DAYS. weeks even at worst. So this is a tedious as fuck of a long wait for to get EVERYTHING out of there. or at least everything that were ABLE to get out of there.

I do want to get my new hard drive unplugged temporarily and move my 2023 stuff over cause- fuck i need that file in my hands and plug it back into the other computer to continue making the copies. but god this is just horrendous....

it made me very sad this happened and it pisses me off as well. hopefully i can get everything back like nothing actually is missing and what not. so for those waiting on Art trades and commissions I beg to be patient. i know I have sketches down and saved towards DMS to the people and so that i can easily trace over that wip previews and go for it which i will. everyone else i have to start over which i hate doing but i also dont want to keep everyone waiting :/

I know once ATs and coms are done i will only open commissions for friends only. YCH's i'll probably open when able to cause I Have some planned to open on Vgen and Ko-fi.

I'll update you guys about it soon. if you guys wish to get quick updates from me your welcome to join my little server, just send me a dm of a rainbow emoji. :P or come by to my streams I have a bot that you can do !discord into and you can come right in. do know you have to fill out a form. I dont allow children in my server and if i find out people are lying about their age you get banned. so dont even fricken try. =_= i am just very uncomfortable around kids and rather keep my server for adults only. thank you.

hope everyones having a good monday! I will probs do a stream later today so if you guys are following me on twitch and vstream you'll get notified about it. [hopefully you guys get notified tbh-] ^u^)/

click to go to Twitch | click here to go to my Vstream

I'll also try to stream on YouTube as well. it be much appreciated if you can give my youtube some loves as well. Im trying hard to grow so any help be great. ;w;

Click to go to my Youtube Channel

[natsmagi]

i was typing this in the notes to an ask but it gogt waaaay too long lol sorry. prefacing it with you know i love your artwork & i have nothing against what you choose to draw. also possibly worded weird cus i didnt write it in the sense of talking only to you alone

there is certainly this conflict between artists as random individuals and artists as a collective when it comes to how to approach this issue… as a hobbyist you can draw whatever you like but also when you have trends like a lack of fatness thats going to be disheartening too. i think the answer is getting more people into making art (& like general societal change of course since its an issue baked into bigotry.)

because as much as i agree with the sentiment of "there is significant under representation of fat women" (or characters in general) at the same time fandom is a hobby space and i dislike the notion of badgering individual artists to draw any particular thing especially when the source material does not have that thing. if you are looking for artwork of fat women thats great but i would not ever recommend something like enstars that has 1. no fat characters and 2. no women, barring a few exceptions. i think expecting to find fanart of fat women from a source entirely composed of thin men is unrealistic, even with the relative popularity of femstars.

plus there are other complications such as the typical modern fandom f/f scene sometimes being very strict and even vicious at times with their standards of what's enough diversity or what content is appropriate. ive heard a lot of anecdotes about people who WERE contributing to these things but whom were still harassed or got threats from other users over it not being good enough, and that's just not conducive to creating the environment or diversity you want. nobody is going to want to be in a fandom space where they have to walk on eggshells all the time. and i bring this up because of how you were clearly harassed by randos. accusing you of misogyny or shaming other womens' bodies as being "unrealistic" is not the way to go

the only reasonable solution i can think of to this is, again, to just encourage more artists to start drawing in the first place, or even better start contributing yourself. individuals should have the freedom to draw what they like without getting flamed for it AND people should be able to see themselves represented in artwork. i would like to see some more fat characters too, this is definitely something ive thought about before myself

(personally all the fat people i draw are ocs or portraits of people i know that i dont want to post online but maybe if i get some inspiration i will draw the long-sought chubby mugi myself. i am not super interested in femstars though so whether or not itd actually be fem mugi is up in the air. but all the talking here about this topic has had me thinking about following my own advice and putting what i want to see into the world.)

OUGHH THESE ARE ALL GOOD POINTS!! and i agree! the main thing we should be doing is ENCOURAGING people to add more diversity, not harassing them into it! people who only draw for fun arent really obligated to draw anything outside of their comfort zone, which again is why i think its better to simply uplift the idea of trying out new things and new appearances that you dont often draw

theres also SO MUCH room for more femstars artists too! and like ive said before if you wanna see something done right you gotta do it yourself. and i kind of like that. i like that everyone gets to craft their own little femstars variant of the enstars cast, and you can make them look however you want! and honestly? you SHOULD! seeing personal touches to designs always brings me joy, so even if you dont feel very confident in your art, if you have a specific vision for a character that you want brought to life please go ahead and draw it!! (or if you really dont want to you can always commission someone)

i also wanna highlight one of ur last points too bc yea. its unfortunate but often times whenever i see someone try adding diversity to their art for the first time they end up getting flamed because its not an accurate depiction of what they were trying to represent. and that really sucks! obviously we should strive to have accurate representation, but if its an artist that hasnt tried their hand on it before, ESPECIALLY a beginner artist, we shouldnt flame them for it. rather we should educate them on what went wrong and how they can improve for the future. these are people who actually WANT and are TRYING to add diversity to their art, but because in animanga circles theres a lack of education on how to draw more diverse features of really any kind. which is why trying to educate is far better than shaming. because if you shame these artists theyre gonna be too scared to try again, giving us less diversity once more

so yes basically what im saying is i want us all to encourage diversity and to help each other out by sharing resources and tips when it comes to drawing it!! one person is Obviously not gonna be able to do every single thing, which is why i want more people to pick up the pen and bring life to their visions!! also i really want more femstars food pelase pick up the pen i am a starved orphan and only femstars yuri can satiate me!!!!!!!!!