#ive made a lot today but this one im sharing here too bc i love it sm
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@moldavite tagged me to post my current music faves (thank u kalli a big fucking MWAH goes out to u in this gloomy april evening) so yay!!! i love posting spotify links of course... more belowww. trying so hard for everyone to only post things i havent shared before... trying!!
obviously justice is on repeat - both incognito and saturnine, but im putting here incognito bc it does have the coolest intro and outro everrr like ouuughhhh like justice goes so fucking hard when they choose to have some retro synths................ actually have you listened to planisphere today? you should (talking to everyone)
i havent actually talked about my thoughts on khruangbins new album... which is obviously good but i simply didnt have the time to get into it :/ ive been hoping to give it a good listen, no skips no nothing, on a day off but work has been kicking my ass a bittt... anyway! Pon pĆ³n is fun. it came out as a single few weeks back and ive gotten really into it.... sooooo groovy
vampire by sholto is what some of you might recognize from love and food playlist? but ohhhhhh fuckkkkkkk its so good. i dont even know this guy and i didnt think much of it other than "yeah its cool" when i added it to my library. such a great and sinister feeling jazzy number.... AND WHEN THE SAX HITS!!!!!!!!! thats so good. please listen to vampire.
more radio pop!!!!! MORE MAINSTREAM KEVIN PARKER!!!!!!!! i do love tame impala's older/more niche sound just as much as i love him "selling out" (whatever, i will defend his minions and elvis tracks until i die and i will MEAN it) so i am STILL excited for this album even though the roll-out of singles has been consistently awful. but i guess dua lipa is a slow riser always (however long did it take her to peak on charts with 'dont start now'???). plus obviously DANNY!!!!!! YAY FOR DANNY!!!!!
its been a really good spring so far, with so many of my faves releasing music, and obviously that includes sebastian. i remember watching the runway show this was made for, but for some reason i didnt hear the whole track - maybe it was just highlights or something? i really love the synths in this one. its unusual for him to bring the choral singing in the start instead of the climax of the track, but its really well done (as always)! i wish, i wiiiiiiiiish there was something happening about the new album, too.
charli's really being weird recently about everything but goddddddd this slaps so good. im usually not that big on gesaffelstein but i do love ag cook so much. its going to be such a good clubbing record like literally.... its crazy she STILL gets labeled hyperpop. i also like club classics, but b2b is TRULY superior out of this double drop....
the beat of this one is just stuck in my head at all times. its cute! fun! perfect for spring. theyre soon to release their debut album, i need to remember to check it out. while its not SOTY material so far, its just cool and pleasant.
more dance sounds - i like this one a lot! really catchy. ive never really been into 1tbsp but yeahhhhh with this one, i get it.
ok i for sure posted this one before, but its ok bc it got like 0 or 1 likes or something. starwolf is a band im really hopeful for!!!! their 2020 album was pretty interesting, but its their three last singles that got my ears all perked up. some daytime disco vibes in them, and its really cool considering i was somewhat.... underwhelmed by poolside's last album. so, i feel good about starwolf now! fingers crossed for summer, as it would be a perrrrrrrfect record to replay over and over during hot sunny days.
and SUUUUUUUUUUUCHHHHHHHHH a spring favorite for the end. kind of getting lost in this one.... number one song i keep thinking of during sweet sunny walks recently. unbelievably cute. 10000% recommend.
#pogaduchy#not tagging anyone bc idw look like a fucking idiot when no one responds anyway ššš#Spotify
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i slept all day and im still severely hurty but i think. we're getting there. o|ā< im including a readmore to catch up new ppl who are curious bc ive found being open about my chronic pain has helped inform others to their own so!!!! i like sharing
i've had a gradually worsening chronic illness since 2019-2020āit's hard to say for sure when it started, but my physically demanding job at a retail store slowly went from perfectly doable to 'i cant even survive a four hour shift without multiple episodes of hiding in the bathroom just to let some of the pain subside'.
i ultimately had to quit that job in early 2021, and at the time had a writing job that i thought, surely this will be okay! i was wrong. it was so hard to work as consistently as was needed of me. i spent so much time just writing and then sleeping so i might recover fast enough to do more writing. i was ALWAYS late on deadlines no matter how hard i tried.
eventually that job closed down in general, so naturally i lost it, but i know in my heart i would have had to quit within 6 months otherwise. that was late 2021. i've been unemployed since, with no disability because despite ongoing, regular visits with doctors, we dont know WHATS wrong with me, therefore i do not have a diagnosis, therefore i cannot qualify for disability in my area. yippee!
so that's the backstory! i started pain meds last fall and theyve helped A LOT. i can have fun sometimes! i went to pride this year for the first time since 2019!! there's definitely still something wrong, and lately i do believe it's still worsening (at a slower rate than before i was getting treatment at all), but i've gotten through a lot of the guilt for being 'an unemployed, unproductive human being' and have learned how to be kinder and patient with myself. it's not my fault i'm sick. it's not my fault 'my best' doesn't look like other people's. my family loves me not for what i can do for them, but because they just love me.
it's hard to feel your ability to Do Things slip away. how i cant go to amusement parks anymore bc the trip would wipe my ass out for weeks. how i cant even go to a barbecue next door some days bc everything just hurts too much. the simultaneous RESILIENCE you build, the tolerance for your own pain that makes you second-guess if it's even real. it took me so long to realize what i was feeling was NOT normal, that most people don't have to RATION their activities, their chores, their BASIC HUMAN MAINTENANCE to make sure you don't screw yourself over for tomorrow by being in too much pain to move.
today was bad. i had a really stressful day yesterday, and woke up in so much pain it was literally all i could do to sleep. couldn't eat, couldn't go to the bathroom, couldn't sit up, could BARELY speak. it was like my body was screaming at me, "we should be in a COMA right now, we should be UNCONSCIOUS, this is not something humans were designed to consciously endure." and that's WITH 6+ months medical pain management. it genuinely scares me imagining what this would've felt like today if i WASN'T on my meds.
i'm still very in the woods, but i'm trying to make the most of my situation! i'm open to questions if you want to learn more about this, as one of the biggest things that made me realize i needed help was OTHER PEOPLE being open about their chronic condition. it's not pretty, by any means, i've left out the grossest realities here, but i think it's important to share, in case i can do for someone what those people did for me.
thanks for reading!!!! i appreciate being heard on this too. it's scary, i still worry people will think i'm lazy or a crybaby, so it means a lot when people take the time to try and understand.
<3
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ohmygod someone get him and his gigantic ass hands away from me
https://www.tumblr.com/tomorrowxtogether/716287811434725376/230503-soobin-weverse-moment?source=share
do u think he knows his fans have hand kinks
what does he want from us
also sar (ur name is so pretty btw like everyone gives u the cutest nicknames wtf š¤§)!!!!!! i hope ur having a good day today :D like it's been productive and ur irls have been nothing but nice to u :] š IDK IVE J BEEN KIND OF LURKING FOR A WHILE NOW BUT i wanted to drop into ur inbox and just say that ur my favorite writer on here (might even be the best writer on tumblr but u didnt hear that from me) ! i think ur works are all really neat like u inspire me a lot a lot and i hope to better my stuff so one day it can be just as good as urs š um and i got introduced to txt bc of u so like thank u for putting me on some good ass music and v pretty boys (do u have a bias btw? or are u an ot5??) ššā
this message got way too long IM SORRY ill end it here š¦š¦š¦š¦
-first time inboxer š
i was on twt basically saying i wanted him to slap me bc oh my god ā¦. OH MY GOD. i was so disoriented when the pic dropped too, it was like 4 am and i was literallyyyyy dry heaving bc OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD?:$/):?/ um anyway ā ļø im in love with soobins hands, the rumors are true
and i personally think he does know. HES NOT AS INNOCENT AS HE SEEMS.
ALSORHWHDBS I SAW THIS YESTERDAY AND I WANTED YO LET U KNOW THAT IT ACTUALLY MADE MY DAY. i was literally crying over life and then i saw ur ask and literally could not stop smiling š„¹IM ur favorite?!?!!? š dont lie to me omfg im literally in love w u now. but seriously, this really means so so so so much to me bc im really insecure about my writing and knowing that someone enjoys it literally makes me the happiest person alive >< im so eternally happy that i inspire you and your work is probably amazing!! donāt doubt yourself (this is so hypocritical bc i doubt myself sm dhshdh)
ONTO MORE IMPORTANT THINGSā I PUT U ON TO TXT?/!. nonnieā¦ omfgā¦ im so glad ur into them now. their discography is literally unmatched, like no bad songs and theyāre all unproblematic and the prettiest boys to walk the earth. literally not a single flaw. FLAWLESS, TALENTED AND UNBOTHERED. i am v ot5 but if i HAD to choose a bias, itās def soobin ^^ what abt u! do u have one š
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did yy judaism us a sham no!
she tihks your hair caused or testerone causes toruble
no i have contorl....ok
you have complete contorl that was god up top
ok you are good.. thanks..want an appam now
okgood one
____
do you eat meat in ms
yeas i did
.
chicken and turkey, sometimes bacon....dont anymore
we are appalld ytta you ate bacon as s jew..no jew cared
bc bacon is not pork and is actually kashrut
did you call pam anderson a deumb hipster for chanign her look to this...go to google and serch pam anderson hip
i don't look like that at all notsure why that picture is up i look like you rememeber
i lke the look ...she says it is for you...do you wa ther classic look or the other....eithe rone works how ever she feels to best express self...
ill try new ok!
excited to see it
i said i know you don't like those...
do you ..yes it is for me so i like it :(((((((((((((((((((( ) ,,said made happy ;
hey ...
hi ...
how are you today..much better ihooe?
yes doing well tlel me here!
ok
your dad is an antisemite becuase he was called a self hating jew by someone in a subway or metro stop for not sharing light.
he is interested in public figures like shashi tharoor because heis related- you knew hat
his yeah it is tory but im using a voice becuase i am ascred they were realy mean to me last week..they are much nicer now!
a litle bietter but they call me master bobs or something .i did by adccident tory it is fine ow i am clean of ptesterone positiong which is what that was....ok i am fine...
dad is coming oh no...say a. prayer it is meant to get you closer. togod in some weird tadition called jazaida fighter...it is a tradition you are part of y birth this not tory but they assigned you a fighter becuase of your impulse controol....so you have to tifhg t..
how do you fight without fighting????? byRahul R Menon
the art of deflection, 3 million copies sold in paces noone knows about because of the deflection ---nice save there
thanks....i write
im
___
tory sorry...or tory's friend..that was hilariously funy by you and other guy...other guy is genius..you are ok..
ok you are a jazaida fighter there should be more right? yes but they are assigned
by j
by j....
they wil know
pam asks who is j...Jazaida our god ...a god we sorship,.,his god....what is it
Siva, Snake, and Adonai...
my ancestral deities...some of....other are present in the ppt ...you have to keep up our you get shut out....
Tory
why is pam andrson here she is intimidatingy her inteligence and body but that is easy to create through light ransfer intenrlly and externally from environmet...cool
are you jealous of tory's husband...no
it is mark 1..he says she is too pretty gof rme so she elected a guy who looks like her
no she says depresedly..yes i am .
were actually a bteeer partner sexual compatability visibility wise....
e likes the sme magazine as me and westarted a conversation so it became a thing so i asked him out which is fine..and he turned out to be really nice so we hit ift off and got married..didn't tel rahul becuas ei knew he'd get jealous or angry at not telling him..so hid it..whoa that is the first tiem ive been able to say what i want without being told mnot to by an outside force ithis is tory and afriend...raul is vehenetlyagainst male to mae interactions ebause his dad touched him in his asshole and penis.....maybe true? i like cheese lasagna...is ye it. isright..i love you rahul a lot..i missed you in college nad shilpi and i sed to write about seeing you in japan some day it was our goal! we would comment on how fun it would be to go around with to places without being told how to look so people would approve of us...they told us how to dress by making us wear ..not that...the hair we chose was planned by other people....there was difeinitely appearance monitoring but ot too bad....ok we are ok then...are you striaght rahul be honest you were lookinga t john johns' wang on the subway when you saw him change himself.....yes straight...like woennot men
answer here.
yep....are you gay lakutis
no
then why you scared...scared he will call em does rahul call akutis gay..no..then why the thinks he will..which is hilarious becuas he is jsut alively cutie.
ory remember syou watching him on youtube and likig him but neing told not to...because he thinks it is homo to move eyes like that but you liked hit..he did it..tory liked what you just did and wants to imitate..nice try birdsniffer
.. wasnt caleld that i was called..bird snitter..which is similar..it means someone how ..why were yougeoingto write bird sni...er because tt told him to......why. areyou always feeling her tits....very comforting...you should marry her or something and then nooo too much life force not feeling tits but light....it is the light she has for me she keeppps there ifshe moves it anywhere ill feel it....she is ok?
yes she is fine...doyou want to make pancacked
yes with brown sugar and cinnnimon
ok do it
tory had fiun? yes had fun..see ya soson sukka ass ni**A tlaking to shilpi ok ..ye!
hihoiofhflk
that is him cleaning my butthole in 2nd grade..but he may have
rahu what why so much sexual abuse ..none...ceaning as in after poop sick...so cleaned...didn't like...i
that doesnt seem like a n issue..i like her...no you are fine.....
ldont do it on me....ok
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DORI DEAREST ššššššššš mmm i will have a lot of free time & since it's the last trimester of the school year and most exams are alr done, it will be less stressful + more fun so yay! but i will still have to study for my two last exams but i hope i can get more into writing & prepare for uni!! im also planning on throwing a bday party for my 18th bday in april so yayaya š„³š„³
aww no :( i hope ur doing better and that ur well!! SENIOR TRIP??? hello that sounds so cool ! ive always wanted to go to japan so that just sounds super fun 2 !! no no igu it's the same where i live, u basically only see Dutch people during the holidays because they (+ english tourists) love this area LMAOO
NO NO ITS ALRIGHT HAHA i was only sure because he posted a bunch of other pics without the mask yk so don't be embarrassed š ok and what if i watch an episode today . what then . BUT YES DO SO!! i love it when people ramble about shows or other stuff š«”
YAYAY scoups said they would have a cb in april and another one this year during caratland but he didn't mention the exact date so im just patiently waiting for the official announcement š¤š¤ since im an april baby ill just ask my friends to get me that & ask my 1 kpop fan friend (that sounds funny idk why) to organize it since it's pretty complicated to buy an album with all the versions šš IM AN ARIES .. or a taurus?? april 20 baby here so it's right between them yk? but i did some research about zodiac signs and personality and bla bla bla && decided im more an aries hihi š also why are u losing ur mind over photoshop im curious, tell me all about it!!
dori dearest indeed :D ykw i should start making individual tags for my moots so i can tag dori dearest on these :DD and aagh excited for u to have free time !!!! iām vv much looking forward to reading whatever u write !!!
thank uu !! i just hung out w family friends && we had malatang && sukiyaki + milk tea & a strawb matcha chiffon cake that i baked + two whole tomahawk steaks && played sm mahjong !! i donāt have any cousins/extended family where i live,, so my family friends have really grown to feel like my family ?? and i literally love them sm,, like hanging out w them today has absolutely made this month exponentially better :D
&& yesyes im actually going back to japan for a bit next month,, so hopefully iāll b able to buy some tickets to more popular exhibits n stuff domestically in advance for the trip w my friends :D ticketing there is literally insane if ur buying them internationally omg,,, vv much a nightmare process && DORI UR DUTCH ?? woah omg :000
if u watch an ep,, PLS LMK LMAO i need people to talk to abt hospital playlist bc itās my literal fav thing ever,, like istg itās the only thing keeping me sane rn :0 AND ALSO HELLO UR BORN ON 420 && SHARE A BDAY W JAY FROM ENHA,, stop iām so jealous i literally share a bday w,, noah centineo,,, && aagh i hope itās released around a time thatās convenient for ur friend to buy the album as a gift for u !!!!! tbh if itās that time too,, mayb i can find it for slightly cheaper in japan :00
and dori. iām like. constantly losing my mind over photoshop and sudoku. and digital magazines that require paid subscriptions to read their articles. but photoshop is just,, vv difficult to navigate atm bc iāve only started using it a month ish ago to learn graphic design !!! so i still have a long way (and many more headaches) to go until im comfy && can use photoshop fluently <//3
#aiyah aya !!#answered (ļ¾Ā“ć®`)ļ¾*: ļ½„ļ¾#aya's lomlsĀ ( Ā“ ā `)ćļ½ ā”#dori dearest ź°ą¹Ā“į`ź±*āŗā”ā¹ź±ź±
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i havent been into it for too long but im kinda surprised i havent seen a harrykim good ol classic florist and tattoo artist au
like yeah im not so sure how the logic of either of them being in those proffessions would work but im talking mostly aesthetics here
like. harry being a florist just. does something to me. like when kim is like he needs hobbies if you get the gardening gloves he suggest gardening is just very good. maybe its a bit of like instead of becoming a teacher first hes a florist first and stays there. or when he was a teacher they had some of a garden in there and he learned and then maybe got a part time job at a florist to support him on his teacher salary bc those usually arent enough. also i think he still has at least some of his adiction issues but not necesarily to the in game level (maybe amphetamines to be able to keep up with his lifestyle also maybe he grows weed but less relevant until later). and maybe he actually got to marry dora and is actually divorced here. working too much, not making enough money, and when back at home hes still an addict, maybe the relationship lasted more but still it never got good enough to keep.
and kim... theres a few options. either undercover just being on the tattoo shop somehow which is like. not the most sense making but still a possibility. or.. he never became a cop, either, got too disappoined by the system early on, noticed the injustice, but realized that it didnt matter what he did it wouldnt be enough. or he did join the rcm for a bit and then quit bc of that, maybe also eyes died in here too and that was the last straw for him leaving. maybe hes not necesarily the guy doing the tattoos, but more of the designs and piercings (i assume its a million times easier doing piercings than tattoos. i dont mean that it doesnt require a technique too tho but getting a needle through skin for a piercing seems easier than having the pulse to work on a permanent piece in someones skin with specific pressure with consistence, and if he was a cop and quit maybe he has shakier hands.... idk. i dont know how stuff like this works generally ngl. also idk. can you have a tattoo.. parlor? and do designs but not the tattoos themselves? id assume you can but no idea)
ok yeah something like that maybe. and also the shops are either side by side or right across the street. i can imagine harry walking through the tattoo parlor and looking at the designs and looking at a few plant based designs and liking them and just. going in. not exactly for a tattoo or anything but more to like. know how it is and maybe meet the artist and then he sees kim which i imagine with a lot of tattoos and piercings which is sort of whats fueling this at this point bc i wasnt gonna think about it for too long but now im too deep into it and like i imagine this kim as.. kind of distant as he tends to be, will try to hide the fact he was a cop bc at this point hes not proud of that, he just likes making designs while listening to speedfreaks fm, which you can hear from outside the parlor while walking on the streets, but he is cool, and if you talk to him he will talk to you, hes just maybe awkward but also he is kinda weird (which has harry like šš)
and this was just going to be me saying "man i havent seen any of this" and instead i sort of made my take on it and it got longer than i expected. anyways!!!
#my posts#and for organization#disco elysium#harrykim inked flowers au#that. doesnt mean im gonna actually make it. maybe. maybe. but i dont make promises#i make tags for myself. for my own organization and to find things later#inked flowers is bc i worry if i tag it as florist/tattoo artists au the tag is gonna get weird when i search for it#...... but i am attached to it now#............. i. would anyone believe me if i said this is like the second au ive made in my life lmao#i dont do this a lot bc i usually just see what others do i just make canon art and concepts and maybe post canon stuff#..... yeah. also it got too long lmao#also regarding the weed situation yeah i think harry would grow his own and at some point share with kim sfihsiug#like i think kim still has his one cigarette only and not much else. a bit of alcohol every once in a while and just weed#i think i should properly think about harry in here btw#this is all just placeholder for myself if it ever happens?#...... i think i am in a mood to like. write long posts today and also a lot of tags apparently#like... just rambling udsighsudig anyways. yeah. i love them i wanna think about them
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Let's play the game... Am I just imagining things or projecting hardcore or... Is someone actually into me?
#miranda talking shit#Hello im... Im not sure and i am like.... This feels like an awkward dance i usually do towards and around people i am crushing on...#Is ... Is that... The case here? Idk how to feel if it is either way im nervous#Hello idk im probably projecting again and misreading signals but like i... .yeah#Fabian is really been nice to me and we've been having those awkward conversation juggles so im like....#He said two years ago to me that he wasnt into me bc roo made a joke he and me were dating and i laughed along#And i was kinda laughing bc baby... Youre safe from me pal#But this year we have talked a lot more solo and have a lot of bonding moments i guess and deeper conversations ?#And hes been doing and saying things which is like... Not his usual way so im... Am i imaging it ?#I obviously love the guy but like... Im scared of the thought tbh like... I think his heart is too big to be wasted on me#I wish i could just ... Ask . But no matter what answer i get its going to be bad for me i think#Like just now/today... Hes been faceless and never shared a selfie since ive know him. For 3-4 years now. But today he just without any bui#Up shared a selfie bc he had gotten a new webcam? Alright cool. But then during our conversation he puts on the webcam and jokes about doing#It more and im like damn... Have you just ... Grown bold or whats up? Since he havent shared any pics but he would use a cam live?#Idk i guess im projecting again but i hate being seen and photos overall. So i only really do facetime if i have a partner or if i have to#I guess im panicking over nothing again but something have changed and idk what it is or when it happened but im like... Something have chgd#Doesnt help that hes an pokerface person so i cant easily hear his mood at all? Idk man i.. I want to be loved so one part of me is like oh#Yes pls be true but the other is like... Hes too nice and theres no way I'd be able to make him happy long term#Then we have the problem of my inability to tell apart platonic and romantic love so like... Id be falling in love with all my friends in no#Time if i just get some confirmation . Idk how to approach this or if at all but im like... W...what is this.... Please just tell me if and#What changed.... Maybe nothing and im just seeing something thats not there. Ill continue at that road until anyone tells me downright whats#Up but like... Fuck i cant read people or emotions and that goesn x10 for people who arent expressive in their voice or face
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Would you write a Kaz Brekker request where the reader is a bookworm and a crow and basically Kaz asks the reader to read to him as his way of apologizing after a argument that was his fault?
Ā it āāa/n i did something kinda similar in a 'promise of rain' blurb,, but this concept is so cute to me:)) love it sm i moved it up my request cue lol
also IM IN COLLEGE NOW!! WHAT?? AND IVE BEEN TO A PARTY! AND IM JOINING A SORORITY AND I DID DRAMA AUDITIONS AND AHH !! SO DIFFERENT! I MISS MY MOM AND SISTER AND DOG AND EVEN MY DAD BUT IM HAPPY HERE!!Ā
also im a little worried this might not portray kaz superrrrr accurately bc it's been awhile so just let me know,, feedback leads to improvement:)) also kinda set this up for a part 2 bc...well youll seeĀ
--
They've always said a lot of things about him, and I've always heard them. But I've never quite believed them. Sure, I get why the dark things that have flourished in the poisoned soil that is Ketterdam consider Kaz Brekker the darkest thing of all. I understand the nickname 'Dirtyhands' for the gloved criminal who has fooled each crime boss at least once. I understand each terrible thing they've said about him.
But I've never agreed with them. I've never even considered agreeing with them. Until today.
The thought that maybe everything people say about him is correct in a simple context struck me worse than the silence after our argument. It made me feel like both a fool and hypocrite. Kaz and I have had our fair share of spats over the relatively short time we've known each other, but never like this. Never so badly he stormed out of the room before I could. I squeeze the book in my lap even harder, desperate to focus on the words on the pages.
You didn't hurt him. He walked away because he decided you weren't worth the cost of his expensive time. I repeat those thoughts in my mind over and over again, letting them bitter me further. It's a lot easier to be mad than hurt. A lot easier to fuel your pain than try to understand your mistakes. Besides, tiredness is already dredging around in my chest and if I don't calm down a little I won't be able to fall asleep.
I had escalated the fight more than I should have. Knowing Kaz is like performing in a tightrope act. One must always be aware of where they're going. Watching what's in front of them without ever thinking too much about what's beneath or behind them. Today though, when I needed my balance most I chose to fall. I chose to dive, and apparently there was no net.
"Oh, you're doing that thing."
I roll my eyes at Jesper's voice as I fight down a yawn. I wipe my face with the back of my palm before turning. The burning behind my eyes never resulted in full tears, but I feel better after doing so. "What thing?"
"That terribly noble thing where you find it in yourself to take full blame for every single conflict you and boss man fall into." The slight humor in his voice is enough for me to roll my eyes again. "Between you and me, I'm sure the reason he's so angry now is because you didn't do that for once."
I press my lips together as my chin angles itself upwards slightly. "I never do that." He raises an eyebrow. The slight sympathy that colors the look is more offensive than his accusation. "If I pick and choose my battles, it's for good reason."
"Clearly."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
He shrugs once before further entering my room. I say nothing when he sits at the foot of my bed. "Oh, you know," Jesper stretches back casually, resting his back against the wall and extending his legs, "You and Kaz--Kaz and you."
Has he been drinking? Perhaps he's not here because of my unusual absence from downstairs after my fight with Kaz but because he's already too tipsy to think right. "What?"
At my confused look he grins, flashing all of his teeth with an arrogance that outshines the whiteness of them. He taps the still open book in my lap. "Let me put it in terms you'll understand." Jesper sits up a little further, amusement clear in his features. "You two make a shameful Elizabeth and Darcy--"
"Oh, shut up," I groan, glaring at him, "This isn't Pride and Prejudice. And Kaz and I," Jesper's smugness returns when I can't quite think of what I want to say, "We're barely friends--we're barely anything, let alone what you're implying."
Jesper pulls his legs up and shoves me gently. "Dearest, y/n," he ignores my glare, "You should know better than anyone that 'barely friends, barely anything' with Kaz is more than it is with anyone else?"
"That doesn't mea--"
"You two say goodnight to each other." Once. Kaz and I said good night to each other in front of Jesper once. How dare he assume it happens regularly? He's right, but that doesn't mean I'm okay with it. "You play cards with him. Not for money, not for skill--"
"It's for practice." The look Jesper gives me is enough to tell me that my defense didn't land.
Damn him for ever finding Kaz and I on one of those strange nights. One of those nights in which he lurks at the stairwell...the one that divides my room and his attic. One of those nights in which it feels like he's a phantom and I'm the only one that can really see him. A night in which we both silently find each other.
I couldn't quite believe it the first time it happened. I'm not exactly a Crow--I don't feel enough a connection to the Dregs to join them without some kind of guarantee--but I was needed for some obscure job. but I was needed for some obscure job. The Crows needed an insider who could blend into high society, and I needed a place to stay away from my father.
It worked. I worked. And with each passing day I found myself enjoying the Crows more and more. That's why I stayed. That's why I started checking the stairwell practically every night, a set of playing cards in my hand.
The first time had been awkward. I couldn't sleep and my room felt too quiet, but the rambunctious club felt too loud and a little unsafe considering the hour. So I settled for the only space in between. When Kaz found me sitting on the steps and playing a solitary card game I had been so stunned by embarrassment I just offered to deal him in. I had been more shocked when he silently accepted my offer.
"Practice?" Jesper repeats. "You were laughing, I heard you."
"That was one time--how do you know we didn't just happen to play cards together the one time you saw it?"
"Because you laughed about a play you considered 'predictable'."
Sighing, I sit up a little straighter. "I'm not having this conversation. Occasionally saying 'goodnight' to someone who lives in the same space I live in and sometimes playing cards with said person because we both happen to be up at a certain time doesn't mean anything."
"And the way he looked at the contact that was flirting with you?"
Oh...this conversation again. "For the last time, the contact wasn't flirting with me. We had to dance to blend in and when he leaned towards me to whisper in my ear...it was to tell me the intel Kaz just had to have."
"And when he tucked that strand of hair behind your ear?"
"He just wanted to sell our cove--"
"Y/n, he kissed your cheek and I'm fairly certain he would have kissed you if Kaz and I hadn't made it to the corridor at that second."
Why is everyone so obsessed with what would have never happened? The contact had been attractive, tall with fair eyes and hair. But it's not like I feel anything for him, nor would I have been so foolish during a job. A fact that Kaz refuses to believe. I'm tired of this argument...I'm just tired. This job required me to start getting ready early in the morning and lasted long into the night.
"I wouldn't have kissed him and even if I had, the fact that Kaz is so mad about feels...sexist." A stupid argument, considering that Kaz couldn't care less if the person he's working with is female, male, or anything in between because the only thing he cares about is profit. "It's a stupid thing to be mad about, but you hit on anything with a pulse at any time and--"
"I resent that--"
"For the first two weeks I was here I thought you might've been a prostitute."
I can feel him holding in a laugh. "Did you at least think I was a good prostitute?" When I glare again, he finally actually laughs. "Not the point--got it."
"Then what is the point? You're bored and obsessed with gossip so now you're shaking me for information you don't need."
"The point is you're oblivious." Rude...I move my leg in a weak attempt to push him off my bed. Jesper catches my ankle easily, ignoring my attempt at a fight. "You thought the contact was only doing his job and you don't know the real reason that Kaz blew up at you for the first time the way he blows up at everyone."
"Okay, well since you know everything, tell me why he's mad."
He lets out a sigh like he can't believe I even needed to ask that. "It's not the best look that the first time you let him pick a fight with you happens to be about some guy."
...Maybe he is drunk? "Don't be so cryptic. I don't like you enough to put up with that."
Jesper half-sighs again before pushing himself off my bed. "I'm going to pretend I think you're smart enough to piece things together from that."
"Asshole," I mumble instinctually as he walks towards my door. "Are you not telling me because I tried to push you off the bed?"
He turns when he reaches my door in order to lean against my door frame. "It's not not because of that." I should throw my book at his head. "In all seriousness, think about it. If you don't you'll either kill each other or kill me."
Ugh...he's so confusing. This time, I let him go. He leaves he door open, which is beyond annoying. I stand up to close it, promising myself I will focus on my book the second it's in my hands again. As I walk back towards my bed, my eyes land on the deck of cards on my nightstand.
Does it send a signal I don't want to send if I don't go the stairwell tonight? Do I want to send a signal? I don't know...actually, the only thing I know is that I don't want to think about this a second longer. I don't ease as I read, but my eyelids become heavier with each word they cross. I feel the weight of them as my focus slips, farther and farther away until I can no longer focus. When my eyes fall shut I can't bring myself to think or force them open.
--
I notice my surprised before I register that I've just woken up. Falling asleep feels so far and yet the crick in my neck confirms the obvious. Rubbing the eyes with the back of my hand, I push my book from my lap and sit up. The only indication of how much time has passed is how much my bedside candle has melted.
How long have I been asleep? How did I manage to fall asleep? I thought I was too mad at Kaz to manage anything but pouting in my room. I hadn't even decided if I wanted to talk to him.
I stand even though I haven't decided anything. I should at least change if I want to go to bed. But is leaving this alone for even longer a bad idea? I think Jesper thought so...though my conversation with him is far from clear. It's not the best look that the first time you let him pick a fight with you happens to be about some guy. I'm going to pretend I think you're smart enough to piece things together from that. What does he want me to do with that?
Maybe he was partially intoxicated and felt the need to play the role of a good friend. Or maybe this is his idea of a joke.
Whatever--regardless of Jesper, I have a choice to make. A tiny part of me hopes it's insignificant, but I know Kaz enough to know that nothing is insignificant to him. He holds onto things the way he holds onto his kruge. Perhaps I'll seek out Inej, she seems to be the best at rationalizing. Though she might be asleep by now, or on a job or...I don't even know.
How late is it? Is it late enough to be one of the few hours Kaz claims to reserve for sleep? Maybe my bad luck is still around and he's already in bed for once. Does that mean his anger will extend to tomorrow?
I shouldn't care. It's not like I'm in the wrong. Did I escalate things? Maybe a little...but I won't apologize for defending myself. Even though that makes everything a little easier. I feel stuck, like in some kind of place of half sleep. A single knock at my door is enough to make me want to jump. I rub my eyes a little more firmly in hopes of waking up more before someone sees me.
I approach the door without worry. Maybe it's not as late as I assumed. Or maybe it's really early? I open the door while still fighting against my slight disorientation. I'm so focused on acting normal, I almost donāt register the person standing at my door.Ā
I donāt know who I expected, or what--maybe Jesper, much more tipsy than he was before, slumped against the doorframe, only knocking because heās too tired to push the door open. Maybe even Inej, on her way here to deliver some kind of job or notice of dismissal. But itās nothing I could expect. Itās...Kaz.Ā
The Dirtyhands stands at my door, expression as hard as ever yet something behind his eyes that burns the sleep away from me.Ā āUh--hi.ā I bite my tongue to avoid cringing at that very awkward beginning.Ā āAre you here to kick me out yourself?ā The only response I get is the slightest shift of his gaze off of my face.Ā āNo? Well then I think Iām going to bed. Itās late.āĀ
My tone and words are clear. Get out of my doorway, Iām in no mood to go back to arguing.Ā When he still doesnāt say anything, Iām emboldened by my nerves. I push the door between us without breaking eye contact.Ā
Before the wood can meet the doorframe, he moves his cane, wedging it between us.Ā āY/n.ā I donāt understand the way he says my name, but Iām certain heās never said it like that.Ā āI...ā When heās not prompted by the uncomfortableness of silence, I raise an eyebrow, my grip on the door tightening.Ā āWhat I said shouldnāt have been said.ā Wait--is he admitting fault? Iām so thrown I almost melt entirely.Ā āNot to you.āĀ
The addition leaves him so lowly a part of me wonders if Iāve imagined it. Iām so thrown by it I donāt even think to reply until a long second has passed.Ā āYou seemed to believe the opposite a few hours ago.āĀ
His lips press together for a moment.Ā āYou didnāt ask me to play cards tonight.ā He took that as intentional? At least that got me some kind of apology? I keep my mouth shut, greed making me want more information. I guess he must sense my silent tugging because he head inclines slightly.Ā āDonāt push.āĀ
I fight down a grin.Ā āPush what?ā His only response to stiffen further.Ā āIām going to tell you something as a peace offering.ā That seems to intrigue him in some way. I canāt tell if itās a good kind of interested, but I note the slight raise of his eyebrows and his intentional silence.Ā āI didnāt chose not to ask you to play cards.ā He gives me no indication of anything, which is fair...considering my vagueness.Ā āI was mad, obviously, and in the middle of deciding on a course of action...and then I fell asleep.āĀ
A long pause of silence.Ā āYou fell asleep?āĀ
Iām not sure if his incredulous tone should offend me or not. If I wanted to lie, Iād like to think he knows me well enough to know that Iād have thought of a better excuse than that. Or at least a less embarrassing one.Ā āYes, itās not that difficult to believe. Today had been long and all I wanted to do was read, but then Jesper came in to say the oddest things and then leave me to...āĀ
Oh--oh. I guess thereās a reason people say toĀ āsleep onā something. Because now, actively remembering Jesperās words for the first time since I fell asleep...I understand what Jesper was implying in the oddest way possible. He meant that Kaz and I...that perhaps there is a Kaz and I in a context thatās more than just grammatical. Wow. I really had to realize this with Kaz right in front of me.Ā
My face feels warmer than it did before, an irrational bout of anxiety forcing me to consider that me might be able to read impossible, embarrassing thoughts from my expression alone.Ā
āWhat did Jesper say?ā Iām too lost in my own spiral of confusion and panic and some feeling I canāt recognize to register how Kaz asks his question. Thereās an edge to it, an odd one, but that could easily just be Kaz.Ā
This is most definitely the last conversation we need to be having. Iām still mad at him for his earlier dramatics. So I just shake my head, feigning an exhaustion I could lose myself in.Ā āNothing and everything all at once.ā I resist the urge to rub my eyes again.Ā āIām pretty sure he was drinking, and I wasnāt really listening. I was just trying to read.āĀ
Kazās expression hardens briefly as he takes in my words, and then he exhales, nodding once with the breath.Ā āWhat were you reading?āĀ
My lips part instinctually, ready to spew off details about the latest novel thatās captured my attention. But before I can let myself take off, the reality of the situation strikes me directly in the chest. This is not Nina, or Inej, or even Jesper after what he considers aĀ āgood nightā. This is Kaz Brekker, the man believed to not have a soul. Iāve spoken to him before about casual things, though most of the nights in which we end up playing cards or just sitting near each other are spent in silence. But heās never prompted me before. Not in the one topic he knows is guaranteed to turn me into an overenthusiastic, gushing fountain of poor summaries and character analysis.Ā
I guess this is his peace offering. This shouldnāt warm the way it does. He was still unbelievably dramatic and treated me like Iām some kind of unreliable fool.Ā āItās late, and you know how I can be. Iād hate to keep you for nothing more than a poor summary and honestly, an embarrassing rant about plot or characters, because thereās just nothing as frustrating as when two people so clearly care about each other and both are too stubborn and oblivious to acknowledge it.āĀ
Kazās eyebrows draw together just enough for me to be able to make out a shift of expression in the poor light. Perhaps his lingering irritation is preparing to rear its ugly head. The corner of his mouth seems to threaten to tilt upwards as Kaz angles his head to the side slightly.Ā āI canāt imagine that position.āĀ
No kidding. I bite my tongue to keep the sarcastic comment and awkward laugh that would sure follow it away.Ā āWho can? Thatās like half the point of reading.āĀ
How can interaction feel so over and just at its beginning all at once? I press my lips together to avoid filling the silence with things Iād no doubt instantly regret. Itās easy to be mad at Kaz in the moment. Too easy. But to stay mad at him when his temper has passed and he returns with some kind of begrudging and admittedly awkward and uncertain truce is another task entirely.Ā
āIāve never understood your attachment to written words.āĀ
āItās not about understanding, itās about everything else.āĀ
āAnd you say Iām cryptic.ā Is he...kinda almost joking? I straighten my spine, too tired to fight and too wounded to forgive.Ā āThereās understanding in everything, nothing can survive on sentiment alone.āĀ
āIf you read the way I did, youād understand.āĀ
His lips press together as his expression remains unwavering in its hardness.Ā āRead to me.āĀ
...Interacting with Kaz in any way often leaves me feeling like Iām wandering through unknown territory. But this, this is undeniably different. So different I canāt even think of a way to react. I watch his expression as cautiously as possible. Heās purely reserved, no distinction from the look he wears during business propositions. Except thereās a tightness I canāt quite understand.
Maybe itās because I donāt want to fight anymore. Maybe itās because exhaustion is leaving me partially delirious. Or maybe itās the weird feeling in my chest that I canāt quite place. That I donāt want to place.Ā āOkay.ā I shift carefully.Ā āIf for no other reason then to prove you wrong.āĀ
Never did I think Iād end up in the position of sitting in my bed, book in hand, with Kaz Brekker sitting next to me. But here we are. Iām so tired, I almost let out a nervous laugh when he first walked in. So brooding and tall, gripping the head of his head cane as he sits at the foot of my bed, on my pastel quilt.Ā
Iām glad for the excuse to keep my gaze away from him and on the words in front of me. I read out loud, feeling more and more comfortable with each page I finish. But as my inhibitions slip away, so dos my hold on consciousness. My eyelids seem to grow heavier with each word that I read.Ā
āYouāre falling asleep.āĀ
I straighten my spine on instinct.Ā āAm not.ā Iām not sure why I feel the need to deny something so simple.Ā
āYouāre impossible.āĀ
From him, that statement is laugh worthy.Ā āIām impossible? Do you not remember earlier today?āĀ
From the way his jaw locks, I realize that heās in no mood to be light about this topic. I donāt understand why. Itās not like Iām the one that wronged him.Ā āI remember your lack of focus.āĀ
Keeping my hands at my side to avoid rubbing my eyes, I frown.Ā āIf you want to have this argument again, fine. Jesper is moreĀ ādistractedā than me half the time and youāre much more lenient on him. Itās not like I was flirting with someone or gambling or doing anything but having a two second conversation. One that I needed to have to get information that you wanted.āĀ
The last time we fought, I had more energy to restrain myself. This could be atomic. I hold my breath, waiting for Kazās retaliation. He exhales, eyes not meeting mine.Ā āArguing with you when youāre present is exhausting enough. Itās not worth it when youāre half asleep.āĀ
This angers me further. I hate that heās right.Ā āIām not half asleep.ā He leaves it at that. I glare even harder at him, slumping further into my bed.Ā āBut for the sake of argument, Iāll drop it. Something youāre incapable of doing.āĀ
At that, his eyes meet mine. I try to hold his gaze, but the harder I think about not seeming tired the more exhaustion slips in. A yawn escapes me before he looks away. Great.Ā āI know when to lie in the grass in wait.āĀ
Rolling my eyes, I shift back slightly. Heās incapable of being less dramatic than this. Still, I canāt imagine the effort itās taking on his part to not start an argument. Maybe this is why Jesper spent so long implying that there may be a Kaz and I in any capacity beyond a vague kind of friendship.Ā āIāll admit youāre tactful.ļæ½ļæ½ļæ½
āResourceful people recognize that trait in other people.āĀ
Blinking twice, I lower my book slightly. Am I truly exhausted, or did he just compliment me in a way?Ā āCareful, I may start to think you find me tolerable.āĀ
āLetās not exaggerate.āĀ Okay, now I know Iām exhausted because I think he might have just attempted a joke. Rolling my eyes, I decide not to acknowledge this lightness in fear that Iāll scare it away.Ā āY/n?āĀ
I press my lips together, worried about the destruction of our peace.Ā āYes?āĀ
āWhat did Jesper say to you? Earlier?ā I pause, slightly unsure why weāre moving backwards.Ā
Weāre in a decent place now, and Iād hate to ruin it. Iām too half asleep to lie eloquently. And itās not like heās an easily convinced man.Ā āOh, he said it so cryptically it took me longer than it should have to understand. And it didnāt help that it was something so...well, you might find it funny. As funny as you find anything, anyways.ā Wow...Iāve spent such a long time talking. Rubbing the back of my eyes, I avoid his gaze. Exhaustion and awkwardness mix in my stomach oddly.Ā āIt seemed like he was trying to imply that you and I...me and you...ā Why is this a difficult thing to say? Itās not like I was implying it and Jesperās known for his oddness.Ā āI think Jesper was implying that there was a you and I, or at least that there could be.ā Iām too lost in a haze of almost sleep to watch his reaction. I let my head rest against my headboard even further.Ā āIsnāt that odd?āĀ
Heās quiet for a long second, and then he finally speaks again.Ā āOdd, even for Jesper.āĀ The response doesnāt satiate me...whatās that about? I exhale, deciding that feeling is tomorrowās problem. When I blink, I decide to let my eyes stay closed. Just for a moment. The sound of something shifting is what makes my eyes squint open. Kaz is standing, his expression unreadable as he straightens.Ā āGoodnight, y/n.āĀ
At that, I sit up slightly, ignoring the exhaustion behind my eyes.Ā āI havenāt finished the chapter.āĀ
āYouāve convinced me of enough.ā A concession? How exhausted do I seem? My lips press together as I think of my next argument. Before I can get it out, Kaz leans forward. He grabs the quilt at the end of my bed and tosses it onto my legs casually.Ā āGoodnight, y/n.ā The meaning of his repetition is clear. His word is final.Ā
I find enough energy to manage a glare, but I pull the quilt over my legs anyways.Ā āGoodnight, Kaz.ā
#kaz brekker#kaz brekker x reader#kaz brekker imagine#kaz brekker x you#shadow and bone#shadow and bone x reader#shadow and bone imagine#shadow and bone fic#shadow and bone netflix#shadow and bone imagines#six of crows#six of crows x reader#six of crows imagine#six of crows show#shadow and bone show#six of crows netflix
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okay so i am now interested in tears of themis EXCLUSIVELY bc of your fics and how well written they are, so. how does one get into tears of themis.
hi, hi!!! this is such a joy to see, im so glad you enjoyed my fics :'D and read them wiTHOUT THE CONTEXT OF THE CANON OMG....this made me smile lots
and YESSSS GET INTO TOT >:DDD
the easiest and most direct way to get into tot is to donwload the game's app yourself and play through the story! tears of themis is available on play store and the app store
but if you dont wanna play it, a less direct way to get into tot is by watching playthroughs. theres a playthrough for basically frigging every story that happens in tot, because people in the world are lovely
that being said, theres a Lot of stories in tot, so i realize it might be overwhelming whether ur play it urself or watch playthrus.
so heres a list in Chronological Order of how every story rooouuughly happen in the timeline to play/watch thru
(i say roughly because timeline seems to be more of a suggestion in this game JHVAJHSFVAKSJH but heres how each story came out on global server, haha)
note on the legend ive made below:
bulletpoints marked with a "***" are events that had happened in the game prior to this current day. almost all of these are no longer accessible in the game on this day today, so even if you do the Play It Yourself option, the only way to see the event story and the card stories is by watching playthroughs of it
only after putting this all down did i realize it just looks MORE overwhelming omfg, im so sorry. i do not realize how much has happened in this game cuz ive been here since literal day 1 ajhvfjks. bUT OK, TO MAKE THIS EASIER
ive also marked with a bird emojis what i think is the Most important to play/watch.
okay with that outta the way, heres all the big stories in tot in chronological order
Main Story 1-5 š¦š¦š¦
Personal Story 1-2 of each NXX Boy š¦š¦š¦
All stories of cards available on the Permanent Banner
Event: all card stories for "Summer Breeze"***
Event: all card stories for "Mysteries of the Lost Gold" and also the event plot (this one u can still actually play cuz it was released as a DLC ingame and u can download and play it any time :DDD)
Event: card story for Vyn's Birthday (SSR Star in the Night) and also the event plot*** š¦š¦š¦
Event: all card stories for "Symphony of the Night" and also the event plot***
Event: all card stories for "Romantic Rail Getaway - Part 1 (Marius and Luke)" and also the event plot ***
Event: card story for Luke's Birthday (SSR Warm Embrace) and also the event plot*** š¦š¦š¦
Event: all card stories for "Xmas Partyland"
Event: all card stories for "A Love Poem to Skadi" and also the event plot*** (NOTE: TRIGGER WARNING for a LOT of fucked up shit in the event plot of this one....)
Event: all card stories for "Romantic Rail Getaway - Part 2" and also the event plot***
Main Story 6 š¦š¦š¦ (NOTE: TRIGGER WARNING FOR EXPLICIT ONSCREEN VIOLENCE)
Event: all card stories for "Electrifying Night"***
Event: card story for Artem's Birthday (SSR Two Hearts as One) and also the event plot*** š¦š¦š¦
Event: all card stories for "Secrets of the Tomb" and also the event plot***
Personal Story 3 of each NXX Boy š¦š¦š¦
Event: card story for Marius' Birthday (SSR Crown of Glory) and also the event plot*** š¦š¦š¦
Personal Story 4 of each NXX Boy š¦š¦š¦
(happening currently as an event) Anniversary Event Plot
(coming soon, like, literally on July 11) Anniversary Event Cards š¦š¦š¦
in this list, i leave out a lot of tinier bits of story like recorded private messages and minigame plots, but this is the gist of the Big Stories
if ur interested in the specific cards of each boy and which ones for each of them are most important to watch and in what order, i can help you out there by sharing my own personal list!!! but Only For Luke (and maybe marius too) HAHA...these two are the only ones who i have watched....Every Single Card From.
so yea, if u want a rundown of that, feel free to send another ask! or feel free to send an ask about anything related to tot because i am Obsessed with this game and am always willing to enable ppl to get into it >:D
once again, thank u for reading my fics!! im so glad you liked them <3!!
EDIT: ive put some trigger warnings on particular stories that feature Quite Prominent triggers but i dont wanna spoil as well....overall, a general trigger warning for murder, violence, mental health (usually not handled all that well, lol. what can ya do, pop culture psychology, HAHA...), suicide, self harm, terminal illness. these occur a bunch over a lot of stuff. if uve got qs for specific stories, feel free to drop another ask :DDD
#ive been here since day one i think tot owes me pension#asks#mostexcellentlesbian#if u want a list of Must Watch for artem i know a guy.....(sam. it's sam)#tottips
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first off iād like to say i rlly love your writingš„ŗš„ŗ and i want to thank you for sharing your work with us!!! ive read ur whole masterlist and itās all so so good! iām obsessed w pretty setters š„° i was mayhaps .... wondering if you could write something maid cafe related w either suga, kageyama or kenma? š³ u donāt have to obviously KDNDKNDKS anyways hope you have a good day today!!!
AAAAA IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE PRETTY SETTERS SO FAR!! you're so sweet omg lemme give u a kith this made my whole day š©š it's 11PM rn so this might be a bit of a mess š fingers crossed that my tired brain won't fuck this up š¤ finished this at around 12AM NSKSJSKM i hope you like this anon šš

hq reacting to y/n working at a maid cafe
---sugawara, kageyama & kenma

sugawara koushi
sugawara is very adventurous like he'd be all out on trying new stuff
may it be food, hobbies, anything.
man is a knitting legend and he only went to one (1) lesson š©
king shit šā
so when noya suddenly dragged him to a maid cafe, he didn't think much of it
he was already used to his friend's pervy tendencies
why he was hanging out with him on his own was a mystery
he would quickly scan the menu, eyeing the pictures of cute food along with whatever dish sounds appetizing enough
his concentration was cut off, however, when he heard a familiar voice
even tho you purposefully raise your voice up a notch this man would still know that it's you
he'd blush furiously as soon as his eyes meet yours and seeing you in a cute maid outfit really did not help his case
you'd freeze as soon as you processed the identities of the customers in front of you mostly at suga
noya would eye the two of you knowingly, a somewhat proud smirk on his face
"NOYA I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANYBODY"
"really??? must have slipped my mind."
you wanted to kill him
you would try to get back into character very awkwardly if i might add and suga would just stare at you in disbelief
was this why you always rejected him whenever he asked you out?
my boy would be having a whole ass epiphany and now he's seeing you in a whole new light
"and you, senpai?"
still, even with all these new information, he can keep his cool and tell you what he wanted smoothly.
after that, everything would be going smoothly
but then, as time passes you notice that sugawara hasn't left yet and noya is nowhere to be seen.
by the time your shift ends, he'd stand up from his seat and jog towards you with a smile
"since your shift is over, is it okay for me to take you out? or atleast walk you home?"
and tbh how could you say no to that
"you know, you could've told me that you were working during the weekends. now i feel bad for trying to keep you away from your job." he said as he walked you home.
"well... working outside school campus is strictly prohibited and i didn't want to take any chances. only one of my friends know about it and noya only found out by accident." you explained. "i'm sorry if i made you feel like i didn't trust you."
"it's okay! i totally understand why you didn't tell me. at least now i know when you get off work, this way i can walk you home everyday." he beamed.
you feel your heart pound in your chest at his words, heat slowly spreading across your cheeks as you look at him in shock.
"that is, if it's okay with you?" he stopped walking before turning his body to you. politely awaiting your answer. you nodded your head slowly and sugawara can't help but smile wider.
"you're very admirable, y/n."

kageyama tobio
unlike sugawara, kageyama is a very awkward dude
he lost a bet against hinata and now it was time for his punishment
kageyama may be the king of the court and he may look like the coolest man alive whenever he's on the court but thats about it
everything else, this poor boy is really clueless and awkward someone save him
so while they were walking around town, hinata trying to figure out what to make kageyama do, they passed by the maid cafe you work out
believe me when i tell you a light bulb suddenly sprouted from the tangerine's head
all he needed to do was go inside the cafe and buy some milk
simple stuff
but you should remember that this guy is so awkward and unaware that it can be painful just to look at him try to fit in
and soon kageyama finds himself walking to the cafe, money in hand, as he tried psyching himself out as he steps nearer to the entrance
'i can do this'
'i defeated oikawa so this will just be a piece of cake'
'boke hinata boke'
when he does enter the cafe, he opened the door too hard, making all the customers and employees turn to the sound
this boy would be glaring as he walked to the nearest empty seat
i kid you not everyone is terrified of this boy rn
and he's embarrassed enough as is because of how loud he opened the door and now everyone was looking at him š
baby just wants some milk š©
it gets worse once he sees the person that will be serving him
bc wow have you seen yourself???? you're fucking hot bRO
stutters. A LOT.
and you can't help but to smirk at his flustered state.
"uhhh... m-milk please?" this was the guy everyone is scared of? you wanted to ask your co workers. it's just kageyama. the boy in your class who failed that one exam and practically begged you to tutor him. this?? this is who you're scared of?
you raised a brow teasingly at his state. "of course! would that be all, master?"
this guy literally chokes on his own spit while shaking his head frantically. you chuckled before walking away to get his drink.
"here you are, sir." you say as you settled the glass on his table. taking the money from his outstretched hand. no words. he just wants you to take the money and save him from further embarrassment.
"you know, you may be scary on the court but you're actually very adorable, tobio-chan."
ERROR kageyama.exe has stopped working

kozume kenma
if you guys thought kageyama was bad then... you right kenma is just behind him by a scratch
unlike his fellow setter, kenma can still form words when he saw you
why was he in a maid cafe in the first place? simple;; kuroo
it was one of the rare instances where his best friend actually managed to get him out of the house
and now he's salty
has a permanent frown etched on his face the whole walk to the cafe >:(
and kuroo would be talking away, unbothered by his friend's attitude and now here they were
"you know i've always wanted to come here. i heard they serve really tasty milkshakes."
"kuroo."
"yeah?"
"shut up."
he'd start playing on his phone while kuroo scolds him about how unhealthy it was to play games this much
but kenma remains unbothered
however, the moment he sees you, boi is already lost
he'd stare at you for a long time until you hear the small sfx indicating that he died.
he couldn't care less tho as he pocketed his phone inside his hoodie
kuroo quirked a brow at his friend before turning to you
"y/n! i didn't know you worked here."
"im trying to buy the latest installment of [insert random game here] so i need the money."
wow,, can you be any more perfect?
rn kenma's brain is already whirring with thoughts as he pictured this as one of his roleplay games
y/n says: so what will you be having?
choices: [banana] [latte] [ps4]
he picks the latte
"coming right up!"
and for the first time that day, kenma smiles
"oya?" kuroo spoke up the moment he sees his friend's upturned lips. "what's this?"
his face turned into a scowl again as he glared at his friend. "none of your business."
kuroo smirked, already scheming before standing up. "i'm gonna go to the restroom. watch our food while i'm gone."
"it's not like it's going anywhere." kenma huffed but his raven haired friend was already walking away.
"here are your orders, kenma." you announce, setting the food down on the table. "let me know if you need anything else."
you were just about to walk back to the counter when you suddenly felt a hand stop you by your wrist. you turned around towards a sheepish looking kenma. his eyes landing on every where but you.
"i have that game you're saving up. if you want, we can play it together. it's a multiplayer game right? i haven't started on it because kuroo sucks at shooting games." kenma's voice has always been soft and very quiet. some would've found it hard to understand what he just said but to you, you could hear him as clear as day.
"sure, we can play it this friday if you want?"
kenma nodded, finally lifting his head up to look at you.
"see you on friday then."
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines#hq imagines#haikyuu scenarios#haikyuu headcanons#hq headcanons#kozume kenma#sugawara koushi#kageyama tobio#kenma x reader#hq kenma#kenma imagine#kenma headcanons#sugawara imagine#hq sugawara#sugawara x reader#sugawara hcs#kageyama imagine#hq kageyama#kageyama x reader#kageyama hcs#camille writes
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Manager!Seijoh OIKS ROUTE
a/n: this,,,, is probably the angstiest out of the routes and i seem to only write angst for oikawa and i think its a problem
this is for @what-a-creative-usernameā bc oikawa is their favorite seijoh boy so this is for youĀ š„ŗ
and actually buckle your seatbelts bc this is my longest work and its the biggest mess ever :ā) also, this is kinda all over the place soooo
anon:
- May we have an x Oikawa ending to the Manager AU?
- okaayyyy so this is a request for the manager series. please pleASE PLEASEEEEE- make a oikawa ending! š„ŗ cuz heās my favorite and all those times with him in the story feel like more than just friends
OMG IM SORRY BUT MY INNER OIKAWA SIMP THAT I NEVER KNEW WAS EVEN THERE STARTED TO PEAK THROUGH
so basically yea
as seen in a lot of the parts,
oikawa is very,,,, loving towards you
like his entire demeanor was just so different and so,,, authentic,,,, than the ones he shows to other females
maybe it was because you didnt want him in the beginning?
the moment he saw you, he did his first antics and he expected you to turn red and fluster and cutely shy away from himĀ
yanno the works
yet you gave him a stony stare and denied him
ofc he was hurt and a little offended bc were you rejecting him?
hes never been rejected before and he prides himself for that but you just did and continued to do that
so he made it his mission to make you at least feel something for him
like the period part or his random proclamations of his love for you
he did it all
it didnt matter if it would bite him in the ass later because he was impulsive and he wanted you to show yourself being affected with his charms
because he was the FREAKING OIKAWA TOORU
ong this is like his validation that he is still a ladies man and has a charm that couldnt be resisted by anyone
he constantly told you that he loved you to see a reaction from you and he always was touching you whether it was just the shoulder or your hand
oikawa wanted to see you as his own personal cheerleader and you reacting to his affections would really bring him over the moon
this brings us here in the gym today
āy/n-chan, do you want to go-ā
āoikawa-san, i dont trust you wanting to go on an innocent outing without any hidden intentionsā
the team snickered and he pouted, eyes watering and curling at your side
āy/n-chan, please? oikawa-san really wants to spend time with you~ā
he begged and you finally looked up from the notebook and stared at him
god hes been much more annoying lately but you knew it was his way of letting out his anxiousness and nervousness for the incoming interhigh
so you decided to indulge him just this once and made a deal with him
āthe moment you try anything, even remotely romantic or flirty, i will leaveā
you bargained but he gasped
āwhat?! then whatās the point of-ā
āso you DO have hidden intentions, oikawa-san?ā
you raised your eyebrow causing oikawa to quickly shake his head and detach from you
āfine. none of that stuff, just hanging out, okay?ā
he was still fussy but he accepted it
oikawa had a plan to take you to a cafe that just opened up and take you shopping and basically spoil you because girls like that, right?
they fall for boys who give them everything, right?
nope
so i read a study that surprisingly most girls arent into shopping apparently and they prefer to buy something themselves because apparently they feel indebt and dependent on men if they let them spoil them like that
idk about you but i would let oikawa spoil me tho
his plans were completely crushed when you argued with him for nearly 15 minutes to take half of your tab with the food
āy/n-chan! i invited you out so i should pay! and boys have to pay!ā
he complained, holding the other end of the tab envelope thingy but you pulled it back towards you
āoikawa-san. you should never listen to societal normalities and instead listen and respect my wishes of paying for my half rather than going by the rules of males paying for femalesā
im sensing a bit of a bokuto and akaashi typa relationship between you two
oikawa shook his head and slightly stood up to lean over the table, his face approaching yours and you were slightly surprised by the sudden closeness causing you to lean back and be focused on getting away so your grip on the tab loosened
he grinned as he snatched it away from your grasp and quickly placed his card into the slot before running up to the cashier
your mouth was slacked and surprise was still written on your face even when he returned and oikawa held up a peace sign to try and lighten up
but your shock morphed into being upset
āoikawa-san, listen here. you had-ā
but he waved you off with a smile
āno, you listen here, y/n-chan. oikawa-san loves you therefore he will give you everything in the world and all you have to do is sit there and point at whatever you want because my love will bring it to you~!ā
you rolled your eyes
āplease stop being like that, oikawa-san. im not your girlfriend so dont act like my boyfriendā
he lightly scoffed, disguising it with a cough
āy/n-chan, i dont think you understand. oikawa-san is telling you to be his good little girl and sit down. i dont understand why youre being so stubbornā
he growled softly
wHAT iS hE sAYinG
you shook your head in disbelief and stood up collecting your things making the brunette to also stand up in curiosity
āy/n-chan? youre leaving already? i wanted to go see other places with you! i wanted to take you shopping!ā
you halted and looked up at him through your long eyelashes
āoikawa-san, iād rather you save your money and rest your injuries insteadā
you reasoned but he raised his hands in front of him to signify his wish for you to stop
ābut i want to be with you, y/n-chanā
he whispered and you blinked
āi dont want you to spend a single dime for me after this. just you and me, oikawa-san, no money, just usā
he nodded eagerly
āwe can go anywhere you want! just,,, stay with meā
then he found himself in a bookstore with you
it was a quaint hole in the wall bookstore that you both found as you walked down the street and you excitedly dragged him inside, hand still laced together
the rows of shelves that contained different worlds in the pages were your serotonin
he watched you excitedly run to the fiction section and browsed through the different spines for anything special to check out
āy/n-chan, iāll go use the bathroom really quicklyā
you nodded and oikawa kissed your temple before he left towards the restroom
your eyes flitted across the different titles and you snatched a book of poetry
oikawa hurriedly walked over back to you but he didnt find you at the place you were before
so he continued sifting through the mini hallways of shelves and then he stopped
it was so,,, domesticĀ
seeing your bright eyes looking down at the bookĀ on your hands and the way your mouth slightly moved with the words
it was such a simple sight yet why did you look so beautiful?
the shimmering eyes that flittered when you came across a sentence you likedĀ
the soft lips that kinda jutted out making his desire to feel it increase that he would give anything to feel on his own
you were so focused that you didnt notice him moving behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist, only noticing his head resting on your shoulder
āācome, my darling, it is never too late to begin our love againāā
he mumbled to your ear and you released one hand from the book to grasp his arms that were around your middle
āyou read poetry?ā
you whispered and oikawa chuckled
āof course. a man as romantic as I am ought to be a poetā
he reasoned and you laughed
āyet you fail to sway me, oikawa-sanā
āno, there is a difference. you dont want my love but i know you want to be loved by me, i can assure you!ā
you swiftly placed the book back on its former place and you turned around to swing your arms around his neck
āhmm,,,, love was never something for me. especially with you boys aroundā
oikawa looked down to see your shorter height and he caressed your hip
āi love you, y/n, so let me love you the way you deserve to beā
he whispered not understanding the weight of his words and you looked down to hide the growing blush on your face before burying your face into his sweater-clad chest
āso not fair oikawa-sanā
you mumbled against the fabric but he heard it and he bursted into giggles
āehh~~ youre not being the fair one, y/n-chan! youre make it so hard to not fall for you when youre so beautiful~!ā
he whines and you rested your chin on him so you could look up at him and your pout made him squeeze you tighter
āhah?! that doesnt make sense! im nothing but a mess of-!ā
you started but was cut off when he kissed your nose and whispered:
ābut what a beautiful mess you areā
okay so i know this is the saddest one out of the routes but ive just been serving fluff so the angst is coming soon!!!!!!
once you both were finished in the bookstore, you suggested going to this hill that allowed you to see the stars clearer
āhmm, oikawa-san, thereās this place that natsu used to take me to whenever he wanted to see the stars so i think youād like itā
you mentioned while walking on the sidewalk
oikawaās hand was clutching yours and you were swinging it back and forth while lightly skipping and kicking the rocks
he watched you, amused, at how child-like you were acting right now but he was also touched, knowing your knowledge of his love for space
āsure!ā
the night sky allowed the stars to light up and you both shared giggles and laughs as the two of you stumbled over your feet with no light except from above
however once you made it to the top of the hill, oikawa pulled you close to him as you huddled on a seated position
āhowād you know i would like this, y/n-chan?ā
he asked and you gave him an obvious look
āhah? its so obvious! you keep drawing the cancer constellation on your skin and you had an astrology book in your bag that you were also reading in the busā
your answer brought warmth inside him and he never thought you were so perceptive of him
you noticed every little thing he does and hes,,,, never had someone do that before
except for iwa and his family and team, no one knows of his little ticks and the way he becomes obsessive of a topic once he gets interested in it
you noticed it all
āthat right there, its the big dipper!ā
you pointed and he followed the direction of your finger before nodding
āyep! waaahhh its much prettier seeing it higher up than my roof!ā
he exclaimed and your gaze left the constellation towards the boy beside you
āreally,, prettyā
you absentmindedly muttered yet he was sharp and heard you
ābut its different to look at something much more beautifulā
this caused you to quickly go back to looking at the stars so you missed his love-filled eyes
āi want to name my children by constellations. so that they can keep the oikawa legacy going forever like constellations being at the sky for all eternity. or naming it after the sky! then i can make sure theyre never going awayā
he said and you nodded
you kept pointing out different shapes and laughing at his funky claims of what some stars connected to and created
āoikawa-san, lets go to the star festival laterā
you offered and he in turn looked away from you, turning red at the way the small lights illuminated your face and somehow making it more,,,, angelic
so he covered it up with his own teasingĀ
āoh? the meeting of the two lovers?ā
you dont know why but your cheeks burned at the mention of theĀ āLā word and oikawa noticed, quickly poking fun of your cheeks
āoh, y/n-chan, dont be so shy!ā
you pouted and turned away
ānever mindā
oikawaās laugh rang throughout the space and he pulled you closer, practically sitting on his lap, while pointing out the stars and him pressing kisses to your cheeks
the intertwining of your fingers combined with the kisses made you feel as if you were floating with how free you felt
and you loved every moment of it
after that outing with your captain, you were conflicted
it wasnt the first time heās openly said he loved you and his shower of affections have been there since the very beginning
yet how come you were just now feeling,,,,, different??
you were sure you felt an odd feeling inside you when he said your name with no usual suffix and it wasnt just the food that didnt agree with you
whenever his lips came in contact with your skin, it left blazing trails of red that spread out as far as it could
the heartbeat that quickened once he kissed your forehead at your doorstep and the grin you last saw when you closed the door
or the unknown smile that you didnt know you had on until natsu, who was visiting, pointed it out
ādarling, why are you just standing there? and why are you smiling like that? its weird, stop itā
you didnt even have the attitude to scold him and you giggled before twirling and holding his hand
āoh, natsu~ i want to dance! and sing!ā
you shouted, taking him with you and dancing around the living room
tbh natsu was very worried but he remembered you mentioning that you were meeting some guy today and it might be the reason as to why you were acting like this
he was happy
you deserved to be loved as you are and you were finally getting that love
but,,,,,,,,,
it didnt last long
albeit having a lot of fun, oikawa seemed,,,, off to you
it was,,, awkward
maybe it was because you were now aware of some type of growing attraction inside of you or every little thing he does to you could send you into shapeshifting and channeling your inner tomato
forget potato, youre now a tomato
but even his touches and affections were now limited
restricted
like the the next time you both saw each other, you shyly but happily bounded up to him and greeted him good morning
but his eyes widened, taking a step back before laughing awkwardly
āah ha ha, hey y/n-chanā
oikawa greeted then side-stepped to enter the gym
god you felt like you were slapped in the face
you remained frozen, staring at the spot he previously occupied and your mind was running quickly
was it because your senses were now heightened that everything made you extra sensitive?
usually, oikawa would squeal at the fact you were even greeting him this morning but he literally just walked away from you
no, you were just,,,,
overreacting
right?
yea, just,,,
overreacting
iwa noticed your downcast expression and he had a feeling it had something to do with oikawaās off expression
you hurriedly placed your bag down and took out your notebook to start taking notes for their practice
big boy ace went up to you and placed a hand on your arm which caused you to flinch
he immediately backed off, letting go and stepping back
āwh-hey? y/n? you okay? did something happen?ā
he worriedly asked but you shook your head, not even bothering to meet his eyes
āuh-yea. mhm, perfectly fineā
you lied and he wanted to press further but mattsun and makki called you over to check out their blocks so you ran to them
but he had a feeling you were just taking every opportunity to not answer his questions
while you were pre-occupied with the meme team, iwa marched up to oiks and tugged him around to fully talk to him
oikawa watched your interaction and he knew iwa would immediately start questioning him too
āoi, what the hell did you doā
there was an underlying tone in his best friendās voice that he didnt particularly like
oikawa did what he does best and plastered a smile on his face
āhm? what do you mean, iwa-chan?ā
āwhat the hell do you mean what do i mean? you speak japanese dont you? so tell me what the hell happened during your date because it seems like shit happened and now youre both acting weirdā
oikawa flinched at the blunt words but it was the truth
he was acting weird and this caused you to probably act weird too
god hes so dumb
but he,,, was going through stuff right now
it was a situation that he didnt want to involve you inĀ
and,,, seeing you dancing with natsu with the biggest smile on your face through the window of your house
okay guys dont think this is weird or stalker-ish bc i actually saw this in a kdrama ages ago and i thought it was just so sweet and cute and dont take it the weird and stalker creepy way :(
it certainly brought him pain
this was what he wanted though, right?
he wanted to see a reaction from you with his antics and he wanted to see you flustered and giggling like one of his lovestruck girls
but dear god that was when he became aware of your growing feelings
oikawa even saw it before you did with the way you gave him those longing stares and small smiles and the small squeezes of his hand when he would laugh
initially, he wouldve teased you for it but then he kept quiet
this entire time he knew you, he felt,,, love,,, for you
and by god, he was so scared
he wanted to run away
because he was well aware of his personality and him as a personĀ
he could make you smile the biggest and the happiest but he was also the type to make you feel the most pain and cause the deepest wounds on your already fragile heart
he didnt want that responsibility and burden
it was too risky
oikawa knew he was a ticking time bomb and he was afraid if you got even just a centimeter closer
you would be the one hit with the blast the most
maybe it was that sight that made him want to distance himself
it was a sight that made him realize that you deserved someone much better and that someone couldnāt be him
the happiness that danced in your eyes and the smile that decorate your beautiful face
can you imagine the irony?
the moment you notice of your growing feelings, the moment he decides to withdraw and pull away
.......
practice was,,, suffocating?Ā
the team knew of the tension these past few days and you both def were not the same
oikawa has not said he loved you or even pestered you once and as much as the guys hated seeing it, they were getting worried
did you both fight?
what happened?
when oikawa was talking with the coach and you were grabbing something from the storage room, they immediately took this chance to pounce on iwaizumi since he was the closest to the both of you
āoi, iwaizumi, the hell happened?ā
makki asked and the others nodded, wondering the same thing
but they were surprised when he shrugged
ādont know. stupidkawa refuses to talk and i dont want to bother y/n bc she seems,,, weird about itā
if iwaizumi didnt know, then something serious did happen
you and oikawa continued this weird eggshell walking and you even gave up after trying to ask so many times on what was wrong and only to be answered with,
ānothing~! y/n-chan should never have to worry her pretty little head about old me~!ā
that answer didnt bother you
it was his smile
the genuine smile that you were so happy to receive as it was only for you
now seems gone and replaced with his fake one as if you now became one of his fangirls
what took the cake was his appearance to practice with a girl in his arm
they were both laughing and seemed trapped in their own little bubble to even notice the teamās wide eyes and concerned looks to you
you didnt even notice your teary eyes until mattsun quite literally picked you up and shouted he wanted to help you fill up the water bottles
he placed you outside, sitting on a bench by the gym
you were biting your lip and staring at the ground while he was leaning back and looking at the sky
āthe sky is very pretty todayā
he complimented but it wasnt heard by you
you only came back to reality when he nudged you gently and you shot him a crooked smile but he sighed at the look of hurt written all over your face
āoh, y/n, i am getting increasingly worried for our generation. theres so many sad eyes on happy facesā
he tutted and returned to gazing back up to the clouds
you scrunched your nose and scoffed
āi dont understand you, mattsun-sanā
you mumbled and fiddled with your fingers
mattsukawa issei shook his head and pointed above
āy/n-chan, our eyes enables us to identify beauty and we have the urge to immediately capture it to remember that we did find something beautiful. yet, we feel hopeless as we cant to put the beauty on paper because we are only given one crayon to draw the sunsetā
it felt all muddled
there was no sense in his words and you were sniffed, trying to understand
āmattsun-san, did you eat any more of those candy makki-san bought from that one guy?ā
he bursted into laughter and you couldnt help but quirk your lip at the sound of his joy
āwho knows? taka is my boy and i trust him so if he gave it to me, then,,,, it cant be that bad, right?ā
you blanched
āmattsun-san! im not about to go pick you up from the er again just because makki-san dared you to do something!ā
mattsun finally wandered his eyes over to you and he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear
āthats the thing with you, y/n-chan. youre quick to love others but you lose pieces of yourself in the process. i have no right to tell you who deserves it but please ask yourself, is that sacrifice worth it?ā
you knew he wasnt talking about your love for the team
but for the love for a certain setter that didnt go unnoticed by the middle blocker
leave it to mattsun to make you laugh and you were letting out your last giggles as you stepped into the gym
oikawa stopped talking and focused on the two of you,Ā
more specifically,
you
he watched as you laughed and swatted mattsunās elbow as he jokingly made fun of your height by resting his arm on top of your head
yes this was what it was supposed to be
you deserved someone who could make you smile and only smile
he doesnt even hesitate but even imagine the tears that would fill those beautiful eyes and he knows it would all be his fault
no
he will stop that from happening way before it would occur
he will do anything to make sure you will never cry because of him so he will distance himself and now, he gives up
it could just be his stress and insecurities talking but he knows right now,
he wants you away from him
oikawa tooru, the boy who could get anyone he wants, couldnāt get the girl he wishes for the most
dear god was it laughable
after practice was finished,
you quietly and quickly packed up the nets and picked up the balls to get yourself out of there
these past few days made you feel so much confusion that it hurts
if there was anything worse than him not talking to you,
it was not knowing whyĀ
that curiosity and desperate need for answers creates wild and self-destructive theoriesĀ
did you chew too loudly when you ate?
were you boring and not as fun as the others?
was he angry and humiliated of his pride as a man when you scolded him for paying for you?
has he gotten tired of you now that he knows who you really are?
that last question suddenly created a new set of tears to appear
throughout the day, you were so composed and distracted yourself with the lectures of your teachers and not anything of why this certain brunette was avoiding you
but a single insecure question made that wall crumble and you hurriedly shoved the trolley of balls into the storage room and grabbed your bag before rushing out of there
you sniffled and hurriedly walked home so you could go and cry on your bed in peace
but ofcĀ
hiroshi natsu exists so ofc he distracted you when you entered the house with a red puffy face
quietly, he led you to the couch and he wordlessly grabbed a tissue box from the coffee table to dab away the tears
you sniffled and clenched your fists to will yourself to stop these dumb salty water drops
āi cant tell you its going to be okay because i dont want you to cling on to false hope. but i know it hurts. its worse that of all people, oikawa tooru had to be your first ever crushā
he chuckled
you took a shaky breath and wiped your face
āthis was why i shouldnt have liked him. god! all we did was eat dinner and look at the stupid fcking sky! thats it! so why-! why do i suddenly like him?! AM I THAT DESPERATE?!ā
you wailed and blew your nose while natsu patted your back
āi mean,,, to others it sounds like youre easy to swayā
you looked up from the tissue to glare at him but he continued
ābut to me,,,, it sounds like it was just the last push you needed to finally see oikawa tooru in that wayā
you nodded, laughing weakly
āi dont know why im acting like a lunatic like this. hes just a crush anyway so itāll probably fade in a day or two so bear with me until then, kay?ā
but his grim shake of his head gave you no hope
ārather than fade, it will grow. and i might have to bear with this for the rest of our lives. now you be a bad bitch and sit there and look fine as hell while i go order 10 boxes of pizza and load up teen momsā
the impromptu movie night distracted you a little bit from it all but you still couldnāt help but think about it
GOD WHY WAS NATSU SO DRAMATIC?!
BECAUSE OF THAT IDIOT YOU ARE NOW SITTING IN CLASS, BAGS UNDER YOUR EYES, AND BREAKING YOUR PENCILS IN HALF
all you have to do is make sure you think of oikawa doing something disgusting to make that attraction fade away
oikawa licking his toes
oikawa licking his toes
oikawa licking his toes
oikawa licking his-
āy/n?ā
you snapped out of your daydream when kunimi reached out to you
kindaichi, who came over for lunch, and him were staring at you in concern and they shared a look
āy/n, something mustāve happened that day with captainā
kunimi started but kindaichi snapped
āsee?! this is why we shouldve never let you go! the first time you go with him and now youre a mess! tell us! did he force himself on you?! did he-?!ā
you stopped the onion top boy with a forced smile and a squeeze on the arm
āo-oikawa-san would never do that, kindaichi. hes better than thatā
ābut clearly not because look at you!ā
he shouted and you flinchedĀ
kunimi hurriedly knocked him to the floor
āget ahold of yourself, kindaichiā
he mumbled and you stood up and walked to the bathroom at the west wing that nobody uses so you could freely cry without any suspicion
was it obvious?
was it clear that you have been a mess after a week of being ignored by oikawa?
nah, youre just being a dramatic little shit
youre sticking to your word of quickly forgetting about the whole ordeal
but you definitely cant if your nightmare was happening before your eyes
as you approached the bathroom from the end of the hallway,Ā
you saw an unknown girl but an all too familiar boy giggling and rushing to get inside the bathroom
and for good measure, oikawa looked around to make sure no one was there but then he saw you
despite the distance between you, he could see your glistening eyes from the sunlight that seeped in from the big windows
he saw the way your hand trembled and your eyes twitched when haruna poked her head out to see why he was still outside
āoikawa-senpai~~ā
she drawled out and reached a manicured nail to his wristĀ
your eyes followed her touch and then you and the boy shared eye contact
through the watery eyes, he could clearly make out your silent plead
please dont go to her
please
stay with me
dont go
but he went in anyways
------
that was the moment you forced yourself to not think about him anymore
as if you werent even working your hardest lately, you will work your hardest now
everything between you and him was now strictly professional as practice that day signified the very first day of your moving on stage
you couldnt believe these past 2 weeks has been a real nightmare yet you were slowly waking up from it
there was nothing you could do about it bc oikawa obviously didnt mean anything he said to you and maybe thats what ticked you off the most
you were easily led on
he blindly tugged you along the moment you saw his smile
he definitely thought of you as just as a game and when he finally got tired and bored, he dropped you and went to another
kunimi and kindaichi noticed the coldness of your eyes and the stoic expression on your face and they were genuinely terrified of you so they didnt want to ask any questions
even with packing up, you aggeressively shoved everything in your bag and the blep boy finally gained the courage and nervously tapped his finger on your desk to gain your attention
you swiftly dropped in your pencil case and looked at him
āwhatā
he flinched at the cold tone and his eyes showed concern
āuh-i-are you okay?ā
he slowly asked and you visibly clenched your jaw but you nodded anyways
ānever betterā
you didnt bother waiting for him to finish packing up and even passed kindaichi by the door as you were walking towards the girlās locker room to change into your manager outfit
your entrance to the gym made the noise die down and you noticed the third years with glares on and aggressively practicing
āwhats wrong with all of youā
you asked and iwa scoffed before shaking his head and opening his arm
ācmere. i missed youā
he said and ngl you were a little confused bc this wasnt something iwa usually did but you still stuck to his side
āwhy-ā
āhe told me what happenedā
iwa whispered and you stiffened in his arms
āw-what?ā
iwaizumi flung the boy to his own bedroom wall
he huffed, panting at both the weight of oikawa tooru and the intense anger that burned through his veins
āyou-you are a piece of shit!ā
he shouted and he moved to grab oikawaās collar and lifted him so the brunette could see the fire and disgust present in his olive eyes
āyou think i didnt see what the hell you did? fcking leaving y/n sobbing as you-you-! AGH!ā
iwaizumi couldnt even finish his sentence as he was so angry that he harshly sent oikawa flying back down to his floor
oikawa was crying
not from the beating
but from his regrets
god he knew he messed up
he shouldnt have done it
but he did
iwa ran his hands through his hair and angrily sat on his best friendās bed, eyes shooting daggers at oikawa
āright now. tell me the truth right fcking now or so help me godā
he hissedĀ
oikawa tooru shuffled closer to the wall and brought his knees up to his chest
āim so scaredā
he sobbed
āim so scared, iwa-chanā
his tears were pouring down and he brought a hand to muffle his cries
āi-i just w-wanted to-to see something out of her. li-like a reaction! because she wasnt like th-the others! but instead i fell in love! me! and she did too!ā
he pointed and quickly stood up, pacing and gripping his hair
āit was all just for fun! she-she knows im like that! yet she still fell in love with me!ā
āhow could you tell she-ā
āBECAUSE OF HER EYES!ā
even iwa flinched
āHER EYES SHOWED ME LOVE! HAPPINESS! AN-AND YOU KNOW WHAT SHE DID?! WHEN SHE GOT HOME?! THROUGH HER WINDOW, I SAW HER DANCING! SO HAPPY SHE WAS DRAGGING THAT BASTARD COUSIN OF HERS AROUND! I DID THAT! I CAUSED THAT!ā
there was so much confusion in this poor spiky haired boy bc he knew oikawa was in love with their manager so why is he avoiding her now even though she reciprocates those feelings?
āim missing something here, oikawa. youre telling me, she loves you, but youre here regretting that?ā
his tone of disbelief made oikawa shut his eyes in frustration
āDONT YOU UNDERSTAND?! YOU CALL ME A PIECE OF SHIT EVERYDAY AND I KNOW THAT! I FCKING KNOW THAT IM A PIECE OF SHIT AND A FCKING BASTARD!ā
he shrieked
thankfully, his family wasnt home currently to see him breakdown
āSO WHY THE HELL DO I DESERVE A LITERAL ANGEL?! A GODDESS?! A BEAUTIFUL PERSON FOR ME?! A FCKED UP NARCISSIST EGOTISTICAL IDIOT?! AN IDIOT WHOāS TOO PRIDEFUL TO GET THE HELP HE NEEDS?! I COULD HURT HER! I COULD DESTROY HER IN A SINGLE SNAP! THE SCARIEST FACT IS I COULD DO IT WITHOUT THINKING! I COULD SAY THE WORST THINGS TO HER AND IM SO SCARED THAT I WILL HURT HER! I DONT DESERVE HER, IWA! SHE DESERVES SOME-SOMEONE LIKE YOU! AND IT HURTS TO THINK THAT BUT I DONT CARE! A-AND WHAT IF WE GET TOGETHER?! HM?! HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT WOULD TAKE HER TILL SHE FINDS SOMEONE BETTER?! HOW MUCH CAN SHE TAKE OF GOING THROUGH EPISODES OF SOME DEPRESSED, INSECURE, PRIDEFUL ASHOLE LIKE ME?! HOW LONG DO YOU THINK SHE WOULD REALIZE HER SELF-WORTH AND KNOW HOW MUCH OF A SHITTY PERSON I AM?! I CANT-!ā
iwaizumi pushed himself up from the bed and rushed to grab his best friend before forcing the brown haired boy to his chest
oikawa tooru was having a panic attack
he heaved and wheezed and loudly let out his cries and iwa made them sit on the floor where he could comfortably cry
āyoure such an idiot, tooru. but she knows that, doesnāt she? she knows who you are, what you are, how you are, your flaws, everything- she knows all that. yet she still fell for you, doesnt that tell you something? for once in your life, consider other peopleās feelings before yours. y/n is one hell of a girl and i wont allow you to let her slip past you just like that. i know- we all know- how much of a broken person you are, oikawa, and it hurts us all to know that no matter what we do, we can never fix you. but y/n-gosh, y/n is the only person to even have a chance to do that. and you admitted that youre depressed and you have a problem? well,, get some help for that, oikawa. the first step to be better is by accepting the only person who can accept you for youā
iwaizumi didnt reveal to the other third years of what happened but just said that oikawa did a really terrible thing to you and hes currently repenting for it
however mattsun and makki pretended they didnt hear oikawa regretting it and focused on the fact that the captain even had the NERVE to hurt you
iwa squeezed you tightly and you returned the hug
but he whispered something in your ear
āeveryone makes mistakes, y/n. the only thing we can do is to repent for themā
you pulled away, about to ask him what hes talking about but one look from his eyes made you realize what he was talking about
he mustve known what happened but hes defending him
you clenched your jaw and looked away
āi destroyed myself for a stupid reason and its one of my regrets. im not going to make the same mistake twiceā
you quietly hissed and moved to your station by the bench to begin taking your notes
you noticed that oikawa was late for practice today and although you kinda hate him, you are still a manager first and he was one of your responsibilities
you were about to go to the coach and tell him youād look for the setter when the gym door slid and in came the devil himself
but there was a large bruise on his cheek and a cut on his lip
your feet moved quicker than the rest of you that you were in front of him in a second
āwhat happened to youā
you worriedly asked and oikawa just stared at you
his eyes shook and watered at the sight of you
this was the first time you talked to him without any coldness in your tone and he missed it
he missed hearing you
his silence made you roll your eyes and you roughly grabbed his arm before throwing him on the bench you were sitting on
the team watched, on edge of whats happening, but was put back to practice when you gave them a side-eye
your fingers opened the ointment and your kit to treat the bleeding lip and the swollen side of his face
āyoure the captain. its not wise to fight before practice and be late. youre hindering everyone elseā
you coldly scolded and oikawa shrank back
āit was iwa-chanā
he mumbled and you stopped and quirked an eyebrow
āwhat? why did he-ā
then you froze
iwa knew
and he beat oikawa up for it
he fought his best friend for it
and iwa didnt look fazed at all
despite being a muscle freak, iwa was very soft and his iron defiency made him prone to bruising
yet why was he so clean
it was like iwa hit oikawa but in turn, the other didnt fight back
no
you must stop
youre overthinking again and youre over analyzing it and youll end up at the place you were before
however
oikawa noticed the dawn of realization on your face and he shakily reached out to touch your hand
āi,,, didnt. because i deserved it. i-ā
he sniffed and you knew he would start crying right now
the last thing he wanted would be to cry in front of the others so you immediately stood up and went to the coach
ācoach, oikawa-san needs treatment that i dont currently have with me. i would need to take him to the infirmaryā
he nodded and waved you off so you had the clear
oikawa flinched when you harshly grabbed his arm and pulled him up so he could follow you out the door
it was such an awkward silence between you both but you bit your lip, focusing on the fact that you were just doing this bc he was your obligation
it was like you threw him to one of the cots then you rummaged through the medicine cabinet for an extra cotton ball and a better ointment
āi fcked up, y/nā
your movements halted and your eyes drifted down, looking at the tiled floor
āi messed up so badā
he hoarsely said and you could tell how much pain he was going through by the way he let out a shaky breath
āoika-ā
you made a move to turn around but he stopped you
āno! dont look at me! just-just dont,,, i cant-i wont be able to say it if i look at youā
he cried and you nodded
oikawa leaned his forehead on his intertwined hands with his eyes on the floor before starting
āi want to say im sorry. because everything, all of this, it all started as a game to meā
you closed your eyes tightly, tears welling up in your eyes
āyou,,, you didnt bat a single eyelash at me. you didnt try to please me, you didnt chase after me, no, you didnt see me like that. it made me,,, i dont know,,, confused,,, that girls like you even existed. it,,, not gonna lie, ticked me off and i was offended that you brushed me away so easily like i was some,, some bug on your shoulder. so,,, i wanted to see,,, and try,,, if i could make you,,, like me. and i know! i know its messed up but god y/n i swear i didnt want to hurt you. i just,,, i wanted to see if i could ever make you look at me like the way they did but it backfired. i wanted you to chase me but in the end, i ended up chasing after you. i chased and i ran without knowing that you were slowing down for me so i could catch you. that,,, that date made me realize of how,,, how perfect and beautiful you are a-and how unworthy i am to even receive anything from you. i saw how happy you were after that, dancing, twirling that poor idiot around. at first,, it made me so so proud. and so happy that i made you do that. i put those stars from the sky into your eyes and somehow you made them shine much brighter. then,,,, i got scared. i started thinking about,,, about me. and how i am. ive been trying so hard to please other people that ive lost sight of the real me and how terrible i am. and y-you! i just- y/n its so hard for me to explain all this right now- my current mental state, the pain on my face- i cant,,, but at that moment i realized that you,,, you were better off without me. youre so kind, so beautiful, so smart, you could go do so many good things in life. and im just going to hold you back. i didnt want to hurt you so i,,, chose to just cut the string now and,, we wont get hurt later. but,,, i regret it. i regret it so much, y/n. all my life,,, everyone cooed and awed at this child just because of how he looked like and,,, he got used to it. everyone wanted me because i am oikawa tooru but they didnt want the entire oikawa tooru. iwa,,, iwa hit it into my head that,,, you,, were the only one who bothered to even see that side of meā
when he finished, he looked up but gasped at the sight of you standing in front of him
fat tears were rolling down your face and you wore the angriest expression
āi-,,,i hate you so much, oikawa tooruā
you seethed
your eyebrows were scrunched up together and your nostrils flared as you cried harder and you let out a cry
āi hate you, i hate you, i hate youā
you chanted and oikawa saw his vision cracking
his world was now falling apart
he did the last thing he would ever do and you were now at your most pained moment
āyoure so selfish, impulsive, and terribleā
you whined and punched his shoulder at each word
ābut i love you so much. i hate you because you made me cry and made me feel so hurt but i still love you. why-why cant you stop playing your games, tooru? stop playing with me now! stop it! stop-!ā
you didnt get to say anything else because he grabbed your waist and held you in his arms
it was like you didnt even weigh a thing by the way he lifted you to sit on his lap and he gently led your face to his neck
āim so sorryā
he repeated constantly while brushing your hair and rubbing your waist
you and oikawa tooru spent an hour sitting on that bed just cryingĀ
after a while, you stopped and resulted to just hiccuping
āyoure selfish, tooru. you listened to yourself and did whatever you wanted rather than talking to me. i hate you but i,,, i love you, oikawa-san. i shouldnt say that but if i dont, im afraid youāll go ahead and do something stupid againā
he chuckled but he squeezed you tighter
āi dont,,, want to let you go, y/n-chan. let me be selfish a little longer and love you all to myselfā
and by god did he become selfish
it took you a while to get over your defensive and guarded actions from him but you were slowly finding yourself forgiving him
YO IM SORRY BUT I WOULDVE DROPPED HIM LIKE PLEASE WHAT THE HECK Y/N REALLY REALLY LOVES THIS GUY
natsu absolutely despises him still and whenever oikawa even comes over, hes always glaring at him and oikawa would shift uncomfortably but accept it bc he deserved it
āi didnt realize how badly i hurt you, y/n. i could never imagine you accepting me still. ill spend the rest of my life making it up to youā
he promised and you laughed
you were both lounging on your bedroom floor, mean girls playing in the background, while just staring at the ceiling
you brought your clasped hands up so you could look at it
then a goofy smile settled on your face and you turned to look at him
ājust continue loving me, oikawa-san. thats all i ask forā
then graduation came
of course the boys were all teary but oikawa seemed even more sad and he refused to look at you the whole day
you figured it could just be him being mopey over not seeing you everyday like he was able to before
then you both were walking home and he still hasnt looked at you
the silence was killing you but you just kept a tight grip on his hand and he would smile at you and kiss your hands
it still didnt wash away the odd feeling in your stomach but you would talk to him later after you gave him present
for the weekend, you were able to convince your parents to go on a beach trip at okinawa while you made natsu go over to tokyo and stay with katsuki
oikawa didnt know your family was out so he stood by your door, waiting for you to enter
you both stood there, staring at the floor, not knowing what to say
until you softly grabbed his hand
ācome in. i want,,, to talkā
you mumbled and oikawaās eyes widened, silently panicking that you possibly found out
it was a secret not even iwaizumi knew so you couldnt have known
right?
you led him up to your room and pushed him down to sit on your bed
FLKDSJFLKDJ WHY AM I DOING THIS WHAT IS HAPPENING SOSOSOSOSOSOSOS
ALSO Y/N IS NOW 17 ON THIS YOU GUYS LIKE BLS SHES ONE OF THE OLDEST IN HER CLASS BC HER BIRTHDAY SITUATION SO SHES BEYOND THE AGE OF CONSENT IN JAPAN, RIGHT?
oikawa was confused and he watched you bite your lip and look off to the side
āy/n-chan? why are you nervous? you said you wanted to talk?ā
he asked
but you unzipped your skirt and let it drop on the floor
āfor graduating,,, and working hard for these years,,, im giving you thisā
you finally met his eyes
then he knew
oikawa blanched and he quickly stood up and placed his hands on your shoulder
āy-y/n! uh-i-are you sure? a-arent you-ā
āaccept it, tooru. youre,,, my first love,,, so,,,, ill give you my other firstā
KSDLFJSDKFJSDLK OKAY YALL LETS STOP THERE FOR NOW AND GO TO THE TIMESKIP OKAY?
OKAY
-----
oikawa was running in the airport
despite the shouts of civilians he accidentally pushed, he made no sign of stopping and if anything, ran faster till he reached outside
the rush of his sudden trip home was clear as he was only carrying a duffel bag full of clothing he hurriedly stuffed insideĀ
when he met the orange ninja boy in brazil, he quickly caught up with his underclassman and got drinks to talk about japan the last 2 years of his career
they both got simple beers and some appetizer to share as they reminisced the past
hinata was excitedly talking about the reconciliation of kindaichi and kageyama and how they were still enemies on court but were now friends
āeh~? tobio-chan making up with kin-chan? whatās next? flying sushi?ā
he joked and hinata laughed
āit was partly of your manager, oikawa-san! she helped them make up!ā
the previous smile on oikawaās face slipped at the mention of youĀ
āhmm,,,, she always made the impossible happenā
he mumbled and hinata nodded
āl/n-chan became close to kageyama through kindaichi and kunimi and she would bring us food and stuff too! but only on times she wasnāt busyā
the ninja said and dipped his chip into the salsa while oikawa stared at the liquid
āyou guys must be special for her to go all the way to karasunoā
then hinata said something that caused the brunetteās ears to fall deaf to the loudness of the bar
āit wasnāt a problem since coach ukai took care of her sonā
oikawa didnt even give hinata another word when he rushed out of that bar after overcoming his shock and straight into his apartment
there were tears that blurred his vision as he shoved in shirts and pants and other necessities for a trip to japan
he argued with the front desk lady to give him a ticket to the earliest flight to japan despite her saying that it was hard to give him a seat when the plane was full
but luck seemed to pity this baby daddy as someone pulled their ticket out and he was able to take it for himself
it was the longest journey of his life and his hour long layover gave him an opportunity to call the only person he thought would even know where you were
iwaizumi
oikawa paced at the waiting lobby with his phone pressed to his ear as he listened to the ringing of his call
he bit his lip in anticipation and ran his fingers through his hair for the upteenth time until finally it was picked up
ādamn you, shittykawa, do you understand what time-ā
āiwaizumi, is y/n still in japan?ā
of course his best friend was startled with the question as the setter hasnt asked him any question related to you in a few years
āwha-how the hell am i supposed to know that? im in california, oikawaā
ādont lie to me. she still talks to you since youre probably the godfather of my sonā
he hissed and iwaizumi was now fully awake and his heartbeat was beating quite quicklyĀ
how did he figure out
āoi, oikawa, listen to me she-ā
āplease! dont!ā
he shouted and didnt care if he startled anyone else around him
ādont lie to me! of all people! you dont lie to me!ā
āwhy should i tell you when you were the one who up and ran? huh?ā
oikawa fell silent and iwaizumi could hear his sobs through the phone
iwa sat up on his bed, leaning against the wall as he contemplated revealing this secret you begged him to keep since his best friend sounded like he was on the verge of breaking apart
poor oikawa tooru already suffered so much
āi swear youre going to make me regret this. but y/n is in,,,, tokyo and,,,,, she,,,,,, didnt want you to know about,,,, about everything. well-she did want to tell you but she had her own reasons not to and,,, and its perfectly valid for her to choose whatever she wanted. and yes, i knew and yes, i am his godfather but please, oikawa, whatever you do, dont go to japan, you understand? shes still hurt by it, idiot, and shes angry and you sound angry and-ā
but of course,
oikawa didnt listen and he hung up but continued his pacing but this time, tears blurring his vision
the taxi driver noticed his frazzled expression and quickly stopped in front of him
oikawa gratefully hopped in and quickly told the driver the address he forced out of iwaizumi (with great reluctance)
āthis is the last time, understand me, tooru? youve already hurt her so many times and i cant bear to see it all over again so you need to fix it. but you mess this up again, not only will you lose her, youāll lose me tooā
the old man felt sorry for the young lad and stepped on the pedal to get him to his destination in the quickest timeĀ
the apartment building was several stories tall yet the elevator ride felt like a snap when he finally arrived at the floor your apartment was supposedly on
what the real kicker was when he stood outside your door and he hesitated
would you let him in?
would you even want to see him?
would you punch him?
would you cry?
he was so worried but didnt realize that he already pushed the doorbell and a faint shout from inside made his heart jump
āUNCLE KYOOoooo,,,,,ā
the door opened and the boyās voice went quiet, knowing this wasnt the man he was expecting and he quickly and harshly slammed the door shut to his face
oikawa was stunned
was this the right apartment?
did iwaizumi trick him?
but those thoughts were wiped away when the door opened again and a girl was softly chiding the boy before turning around with a smile to greet the person but then it fell
similar to her son, she slammed the door shut and oikawa panicked
āy-y/n? h-hey!ā
he exclaimed and with a clenched fist, he stood there
you were hyperventilating inside
how did he find you?
why is he here?
does he know?
āmama? whoās that oji?ā
the bright eyes of yozora looked up at you and you blinked, briefly seeing the man behind the door at the face of your son
you sucked in a deep breath before smiling lightly
āyoyo-kun, can you go play with dino-kun while mama and oji talk?ā
yozora blinked back up at you before shrugging and nodding and running off to your shared room
once he was gone, you quickly composed yourself and opened the door again, shocked to see oikawa already half-way down the hallway to the elevator
āwould you like some tea before you go?ā
you called out and he stopped, almost giving himself whiplash at how fast he turned his head
it was like his instincts took over when your voice started speaking to him
as if he was 18 again, oikawa found himself trailing after your voice and you nervously led him inside
his eyes were moving really fast as if he wanted to quickly soak it all in before it would disappear
this was where you lived
with your son
who was his son too
there was a picture by the door of you and the little boy from earlier
it was at the planetarium nearby and tooruās heart bloomed at the sparkle in that childās eyes
jesus, he was beautiful
āyozora. thats his nameā
you said, noticing him staring at the picture
KDFLJSDKFSD PRINCE NOCTIS LUCIS CAELUM BABIESSS!!!
ānight skyā
oikawa whispered
the teapot was still hot and you were able to pour him a cup so you both sat on the dining table where he sat across from you
ān-nice placeā
he stuttered out
you nodded, tracing the rim of your own cup
āits natsuās and katsukiās actually. my parents kicked me out so they offered to let me stay with themā
you reasoned, not meaning to sound cold but it came out as if you were being passive agressive
āo-oh? ho-how is he-ā
āoikawa-san, what are you doing here?ā
he visibly flinched
calling him by his last name stung since you called himĀ ātooruā the whole relationship so returning to his surname is your way of cutting off the whole thing
āi,,, i found out. a few days ago. from shoyo. he told me their coach looked after yozora and,,, i knew he is,,, mineā
you let out a humorless chuckle
a scoff
then you looked up to meet his gaze, oikawa gulping at the hardness in your eyes
āwhat makes you think so? what makes you think that i wasnt angry and spiteful enough to give myself to someone else so they could have what the great oikawa tooru had? what makes you think that i would remain loyal to you despite you just running off to the other side of the fcking world without a word? hm? oikawa-san? what.makes.you.think.so?ā
out of guilt, he broke the stare to his own steaming cup of green tea
ānothingā
you whispered
he shakingly sighed and you could tell he was about to cry
but you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms
āgo ahead and cry, oikawa-san. im used to temper tantrums. i have a son for godās sakeā
āyou would never do that to me, y/n. you promised that you would always love me and only me and i know you take promises to your graveā
he reasoned but it sounded like it was him convincing himself
the dry laugh you let out made him fidget
āand you promised that you would always talk to me and communicate. yours is a much lighter and easier promise than mine yet you get to break it and i canāt? no, oikawa-san. to me, its like that year never even happenedā
you were now just trying to rile him up due to your anger towards him
you shouldve let him walk to the elevator and leave and never come back
but you still invited him in anyways
oikawa snapped his head up
āyou cant say that or mean it, y/n. that boy over there, hes a reminder of me. he looks exactly like me so you cant ever forget what we haveā
āwhat he had. it was simply the past, years ago, and everything has changed since then. dont you dare try to dig up buried secrets, oikawaā
ābut why did you keep him from me?ā
he pleaded, desperate for any answer as to why
āi had every right. the moment you boarded that plane, he no longer was yours. you left, i stayed, and you cant just come back here and-ā
āmama?ā
a small voice from the corner halted your loud voice and you and tooru looked at him
oikawa yozora was exactly like his father
from his loud and obnoxious personality to even the brown hair and brown eyes
KFDSLJFKDS REMEMBER THAT KID FROM OLD UKAIāS VOLLEYBALL CLUB?! THATS WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE!!
he looked absolutely nothing like you and people even get confused when you say hes your son
um maam i think hes my son since he came out of me
so oikawa was right
yozora was your daily reminder of the mistakes of your youth but he was anything but that as he is the greatest thing to ever happen to you
yozora became your light when you fell into depression after oikawa ran away
sure, your parents absolutely loathed poor child as he is a child of a child
but you kept him because he means the world to you
and the world he holds are in his eyes
āi,, i heard yelling,,, and,,, thought mama and oji were sad,,, so,,, i bring my,,, star book because,,, it makes me happy,,, and i think,,, mama and oji will,,, be happy tooā
he mumbled out and you smiled at him before moving to go to him but oikawa stopped you
his eyes begged you and you glared at him, deciding to withdraw
if he decides to do anything, you could always knee him between the legs
he slowly approached yozo and kneeled down to reach eye-level
āhello, my name is oikawa tooruā
he softly introduced himself and yozora just stared at him
āyou oikawa too? but i oikawa! mama is he me?!ā
yozora shouted and you giggled, running to take him into your arms
āoh, darling, how curious you are. oji isnt you, baby. he just,,, has the same last name as you. like mama has hers but you have,,, ojiāsā
your eyes drifted to oikawa but he remained on the floor, staring at the spot where yozo stood on
you kept his last name
you listened to him from that night at the hill by naming his son after the night sky
my god, you are so,,,Ā
ā--the book. oji? do you?ā
he was brought back to reality when your son was now back on the floor and poking his shoulder
tooru blinked and looked at him
āhuh?ā
āi ask if you want to read my book with me, oji. mama say she happy but you still sad so my book make you happyā
not even an hour of meeting him, oikawa tooru already loves him
the volleyball player nodded and yozora offered a tiny hand to which he accepted
āthis way. mama say to read so she make food. i like food, do you like food, oji? i like food. i like milk bread. mama say papa like it so i like what papa like. i want papa to come home. sit thereā
tooruās heart beat faster every word his child uttered and it even went faster when he saw yozo struggle to get up on the couch
the pair of big hands that brought him on the cushion made him happily sigh then uttered a smallĀ āthank youā
āmy mama say that my papa give me my book and say to take care of it until he come back. and she say he come back when im a master of space! so i study and read my book every day and know all so papa can hurry home!ā
tooru didnt even notice tears falling down his face until yozo blinked up at him with his small hands grasping his cheeks to wipe it off
āwhy you cry, oji? no sad! no sad! here! i read my book so you not cryā
he babbled and quickly pried the book open and read out the words on the page, not realizing he was saying most of it wrong
that book was oikawaās
the book that he read all the time in the bus and now, it was passed on to his son
you leaned against the wall and gasped at the sight of yozo just babbling and oikawa crying
āyoyo-kun? what did you do to tooru?ā
you fussed and sat down next to oikawa
yozo worriedly looked at him and now his own eyes were watering and soon enough, you have 2 boys crying in your living room
GURL IM SORRY BUT I WOULDA KICKED OUT OIKAWA LIKE NOT EVEN OFFER HIM TEA OR ANYTHING IM SORRY IM TIRED AND IDK WHATS GOING ON
āa-ah, y-yozo! yozo-kun! oji is,,, just,,, uh,, sad because,, because pluto isnt a planet anymore!ā
yozo sniffled and he went closer to oikawa
āme too, oji. yoyo sad too because pluto is just small. other planet are onii-chan and onee-chan but pluto is baby so they not like himā
he rambled and oikawa pulled him closer
āmama, can we keep oji? nana-san and katsu-san will like him! promise!ā
you couldnt even believe what was going on right now
not only did your baby daddy ex-boyfriend suddenly pop up, your son was now wanting to keep him
you made a move to of course deny his request but oikawa opened his mouth first
āyozora-kun, of course you could keep me. im your papa, after allā
OKAY THAT WAS IT
YOU DID NOT WANT HIM TO SAY THAT TO YOZORA
out of shock, you slapped him across the face
causing yanno what happened
oikawa screamed
a/n: yoooooo SO LIKE THIS IS RIDICULOUS LIKE THIS IS BOOTY IM SORRY BUT THIS IS ALSO IN MY GOING TO EDIT LIST AND I CHOSE THIS OUT OF MY 10 OTHER VERSIONS OF THIS ROUTE AND I MAY OR MAY NOT RELEASE ANOTHER ONE JUST TO MAKE UP FOR IT. but try not to let this flopĀ š„ŗĀ šš
ALSO CHI THAT K+Y AND THE T+Y IS ON THE WORKS RN AND IM LIKE HALF WAY DONE SO I MIGHT RELEASE THEM BOTH AT THE SAME TIME
#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu!! imagines#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu!! x reader#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu!! headcanons#aoba johsai#aoba johsai x reader#aoba josai x reader#aoba josai#seijoh#aoba johsai imagines#aoba josai imagines#seijoh imagines#seijoh manager#haikyuu manager#haikyuu!! manager#aoba johsai manager#aoba josai manager#seijoh x reader#aoba johsai headcanons#aoba josai headcanons#seijoh headcanons#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu!! fluff#aoba johsai fluff#aoba josai fluff#seijoh fluff
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APPRECIATION POST!!
june 29th, or a little more that 6 months ago i posted my first fic. that was honestly the best decision of my life because tho tumblr is a hellsite itās a hellsite that got me through a hellish year. i just want to come out and express my extreme gratitude for all of the people who have gotten me through 2020.
my followers. i remember when i first hit 100 and i was so excited bc 100 ppl in the world actually appreciated my writing enough to follow me...and then more of you guys started coming and sent sweet asks and suddenly i felt so loved š„ŗ i didnāt expect to gain the following i did on this hellsite but i did and i love you guys so much :( thank u so much for being here through it all and making this year so much better!!
character anons/other anons; i know i donāt have much and not all of u are active but you!!! you guys are the bestest people on earth!!! shoyo, haji, yams, and all my noya anons,,, i love u guys sm. seeing you in my inbox made me so happy and i loved interacting w you š„ŗš i hope you guys have an amazing new year and i hope you can talk more soon!! same goes for my other anons, š, š, iara, and all the other anons that have send me asks, i love you guys so much!! getting anons and asks was something that made me feel so appreciated and important and seeing your asks always made my day!! ily guys <3
@sa-suga, @neonghxst, @sanso, @starrysamu, @stelleum, @myelocin, and a whole bunch of others writers; you are the most amazing people on the planet. writing on a site like this that gives little to no appreciation is so amazing of you :( your fics have made me smile, laugh, cry, and even grow as a person and iām so grateful for that! bc of u i was able to distract myself from all the crappy things that happened this year. ily guys so much!
and now, my mutuals!!
@hajiimes; cola i will always always start with you. my closest friend, writing genius, someone i can bounce ideas off of, ask for help, watch movies with, voice call for hours with, and simp over characters with. getting close with you was one of the best things of this year and i really appreciate you for it. its really refreshing to have such a close friend i can really turn to and talk to about stuff thatās bothering me and i know i do it a lot and iām a terrible friend sometimes but youāre always there for me :( and yeah we tease each other a lot and youāre honestly so annoying sometimes but yeah itās fun and i love you so <3 STOP MAKING BREAKUP PLAYLISTS OKAY IM SORRY
@sugakuns + @suikazura + @kageyuji + @miyasangel + @giorvanna + @sophiawithstars + @hajiimes; i literally could not have gotten through 2020 without dinonet. itās the first discord server and probably only discord server that iāve really felt at home in because you all are so accepting and sweet. your support and love and kindness have gotten me past this year. iāve been able to laugh and scream and vent and word vomit and be myself because of you all and iām so appreciative of that. i cant wait for an entire new year with you all, ilysm!
@mehreya; you changed your url and i freaked tf out but ANYWAYS HEYYY~ rae i literally. i literally love you so much like. where would i be without you? youāre so welcoming and comforting and i love you so much :( if thereās anyone iād share a deformed braincell with, itās with you!! i feel like i can relate to you?? so much?? i literally keysmash in your inbox sending like 12 messages and i donāt have to worry about you getting upset because you do the same thing right back. we share really similar interests and youāre so compassionate and sweet and ugh iām gna cry ily
@suikazura; bae i. how do i even say this. youāre literally the kindest, sexiest, funniest, loveliest person iāve ever met. when i had a really bad day and broke down you were there to hype me up and tell me such wonderful things that i still think about all the time. you wrote a poem comparing me to the sun. ME?? THE SUN?? sui i donāt even know where to go with this ive never had someone do that for me and you doing that just makes me tear up and iām tearing up writing this- and i love your humor so much despite the fact that it haunts me to this day and your art is so pretty and i could look at it for hours. like man i canāt believe someone like you exists i donāt deserve you at ALL. ilysm bubs
@cavalree; AZZIE WE HAVENT EVEN TALKED THAT MUCH BUT OUR CONVERSATION YESTERDAY WAS >>> THIS IS ME SAYING WE SHOULD TALK MORE WE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON
@fairyoomi + @luvromis + @rilacry; weāve been moots for So Long but i have no idea what to talk about w u so i get intimidated and donāt talk :( ily guys so much though, youāre really sweet and kind and your humor is literally top tier. this is so weird to say but reading ur self-ship posts makes me so happy bc i feel like i can be open about my self-ship too,, it rlly comforts me and makes me feel loved hehe. i miss talking to u guys even though it was barely anything and i rlly hope 2021 is the year we get closer!!
@sophiashortcake + @star-puff + @kurooskult; weāve recently become mutuals but i love your vibes!! i really hope i get to interact with you more next year so we can become closer <3
@bunx; BIG SIS!! literally i feel so bad for not talking to u because youāre literally the blueprint :( i just donāt know what to talk about and then get all freaked out XBSKSJD iāve stared at your disc so many times debating what to say cbsjs but anyway thank you so much for being here from the beginning! i know for a fact ill wouldnt be where i am today w/out u š„ŗ ilysm bubs
other moots that made this year so much more beautiful i want to get closer too!: @haikoo, @4fterh0urs, @run-004, @sugasugawarau, @s4ijoh, @gg9183, @baeshijima š„ŗšš, @kozu-mei , @kaguol ily all so so much, you all are such amazing ppl and i hope we get to talk more!!
#important broadcasts#i love you all a lot#i donāt know where iād be without your support and love#itās been such a crazy year but itās been so much better w u
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*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server
once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier
also x1000 longer than previous post
"ur satan is gnc af"
"Bestie Iām already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"
"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"
"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"ohoho sexy"
"I am very proud of myself"
"himbo x edgy fuck"
"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"
"he has teefs"
"SQUASH"
"good for biting š·"
"he's a himbo basically"
"BĶĢĢiĶ«ĢĢtĶ§ĶĶÆeĢĢĢ"
"bifth"
"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"
"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"
"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"
"crimes"
"tumblr sexyman"
"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"
"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"
"steampunk e-girl"
"steampunk tumblr sexyman"
"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"
"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"
"ARTIST SIGHTED"
"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"
"babby..... would die for him"
"honestly i probably kin him"
"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"
"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"
"Also :00 blonde friend"
"Let us all infodhmo"
"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"
"Nix woukd you like to joon?
"skitters away"
"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"
"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"
"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"
"Awkwardly watches in band kid"
"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"
"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"
"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"
"anyway heres my boi"
"emo"
"haha emo"
"virgil sanders kinnie"
"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"
"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"
"bird man my beloved"
"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"
"Birds!!"
"guiguhuh"
"crabrave"
"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"
"yess name collector gang"
"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"
"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"
"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"
"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"
"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"
"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"
"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"
"mmmmmm magic man :]"
"Ā°0Ā° green man"
"criminal (affectionate)"
"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"
"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"
"i would commit so many crimes for him"
"Very babey"
"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"
"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"
"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)
"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"
"* or extremly chaotic either works"
"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"
"oH--"
"bc my brain has a schedule"
"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"
"hehe yes spooky man"
"my ghost glucose guardian"
"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"
"ghosts r just inherently sexy"
"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"
"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"
"Å Ć¢ m p"
"ÅƦmp"
"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"
"I'd date a ghost"
"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"
"p e e p e e"
""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"
"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"
"you're all 12 year olds"
"PEENIE"
"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"
"god, what a himbo. i love him"
"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"
"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"
"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"
"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""
"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"
"twink appreciation club"
"give us the twinks"
"my first thought was bottom-"
"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"
"daddy issued"
"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"
"Big boy but"
"anyways janus is swagggg"
"........................."
"gib twink"
"give twink then i will share"
"holds him gentle like hamburger"
"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"
"he is. fragile creachur"
"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"
"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"
"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"
"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"
"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"
"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"
"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."
"note i am a lesbian"
"You may like Schezo wegey"
"why does he have one single expression"
"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"
"magic wand"
"I Want To Hold His Hand"
"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"
"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""
"p e a n u t"
"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"
"grug from the croods is peak male performance"
"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."
"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"
"i like essays"
"central time gang"
"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)
"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"
"points were made"
"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"
"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"
"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"
"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"
"several people are typing"
"do these look edible to you"
"forbidden gummies"
"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"
"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"
"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"
"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"
"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"
"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"
"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."
"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."
"NIIICE"
"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"
"watch your fucking language in front of the president"
"im so sorry lumi"
"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"
"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"
"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"
""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""
"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"
"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."
"me on discord: nick wilde"
"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."
"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"
"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"
"what the fuck"
"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"
"If you adopt me then yes"
"am I qualified for dad jokes???"
"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"
"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""
"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"
"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"
"cat pet"
"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"
"maybe thats me being a coward tho"
"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"
if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content
#tw drugs#tw swearing#tw cannibalism#tw crime#tw food#tw homophobia#shitpost#out of context#out of context quotes#lumi's quotes
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haikyuu x otome: masterlist |Ā prologue
Ā» synopsis:Ā a haikyuu x reader au where you, the player, are bound for university in a metropolis several hours away from home. hope and excitement are replaced with dread as you come to realize that juggling life as a student and a part-time employee takes a toll. from demanding classes to a ruthless manager, life just canāt seem to give you a break. that is, untilĀ you meet a certain someone who reminds you how to live and follow your dreams. somehow, when youāre with them, time stands still. maybe things are finally starting to look up. if only you could stay in those moments for just a little longer.Ā
Ā»Ā disclaimer: i do not own haikyuu or any of the pixels in this post (i simply made collages out of them)
edit: itās been brought to my attention that another HQ writer may have written something similar to this idea in the past and I was unaware. Though I havenāt seen this particular type of thing written yet, I donāt mean to claim this event idea as my own bc I feel a lot of events that ppl put up may have some overlapping themes n such (tho this idea would def be more specific and be cause for concern of plagiarism) and bc I would never want to steal ideas/not ask other writers first/not credit other writers (thatās not cool fam). If you have any issues with this event, pls bring them up w me, and if you know any other writers whoāve done smth similar, pls share w me their URLs! thank u for ur understanding :) I hope u can still enjoy haikyuu x otome :ā)
Ā» how to play:
I. you can refer hereĀ for the general rules of my blog. also, for this event (andĀ itāll say in the descriptions below), iām only accepting one character per request. also the word count limits i wrote here may change as im getting started on actually writing requests lol
II. essentially a collection of x reader one-shots, drabbles, and smaus in which you are a busy college student whose only break seems to be spending time with friends who actually get you or the 15-minute lunch break during which you get to ignore annoying customers
III. since this is otome-inspired, i have several options you can choose from. these options are essentially types of requests:

Ā»Ā everyday is a new startĀ
Ā» drabble about how you meet the character of your choiceĀ Ā
Ā» it is not guaranteed yāall are gonna gel (get along) when you first meet,, warning: if the character is usually a bitch, i may write them as one LMAO jkjk but fr
Ā» usually light, fluffy, and/or silly
Ā» hmm tbh,,, idk word count,,, probs anywhere between 700-1k words (i edited this word count after writing my first thing bc HNNN)
Ā» the only characters you canāt request this for is yamaguchi, tsukki n hinata,,, bc you meet them in the prologue AHAHA sry itās nothing too spaicy since itās just in the intro

Ā»Ā itās all in the little things
Ā»Ā one-shots about normal, daily interactions with the character of your choice
Ā» in other words, these include what can go on in a day in the life of y/n and the character of your choice (after theyāve already met). in the city, the possibilities are endless
Ā»Ā give me a word (or several, cuz writing is hard lmao. also legit any word, like āorangeā or ānostalgia.ā i may choose only one or do a combination from your list :3) as a prompt and ill somehow make something of it lmao
Ā» medium relationship development + exp
Ā» 700-1.5k words

Ā» hmmm what should i get today?
Ā» very short drabble with a character of your choice about various scenarios and thots i have in my head
Ā» a complete surprise, totally random, may have no context
Ā» may be serious, fluff, crack, etc.Ā
Ā» if u choose this u basically told meĀ āsurprise meā
Ā» 100-300 words, depends on my mood

Ā» when i see your name pop up on the screen, i canāt help but smileĀ
Ā»Ā short smau with a character of your choiceĀ
Ā»Ā fluff or crack, ur choice or leave that up to me (if unspecified, ill just flip a coin)
Ā»Ā you can either give me a word(s) as a guide or leave the topic of convo up to me
Ā»Ā 2-4 panels

Ā» youād be surprised how much can happen in a dayĀ
Ā» BMO has nothing to do with this, i just found a cute pixel of him
Ā»Ā spaicy relationship development, the scenes in which you actually make progress in the game
Ā» one-shot with a character of your choice
Ā»Ā order from the following:
Ā» macaron: when they realize theyāve fallen for you
Ā» banana bread: when you realize youāve fallen for them
Ā» iced americano: when they feel a tinge of jealousyĀ
Ā» hot chocolate: when they see you cryingĀ Ā
Ā» matcha latte: when they have a longing to be around you
Ā» cupcake:Ā love confession (may be intentional or accidental)
Ā» major relationship development + exp + sometimes confusion
Ā» 1-2k words
Ā» these will probs take me longer

Ā»Ā all good things must come to an end
Ā» Ā not as angsty as those bolded words above sound,,, unless you want it to be >:)
Ā» drabble or one-shot with a character of your choice. the final interaction before finishing the game
Ā»Ā you have three options: good end (fluffy, romantic & the like), bad end (angst), or crack end (surprise)
Ā» word count will be super variable, from 300-1.5k words
IV.Ā this forces me to write one-shots, drabbles, anything but hcās, and also forces me to limit my word count. that said, this will take me a hot minute, yāall. word counts may change too bc i am,,, indecisive n untalented AHAHA
V. search for āhaikyuu x otome,āĀ āhaikyuu x otome special,ā āhaikyuu x reader otomeā tags! i will tag each work under these c:
got it?Ā have a request for me? send me an ask or submission!Ā
request example: āstart new game with akaashiā orĀ ālove challenge with yachi in the empty lecture hall at nightā orĀ ācontinue story with noya. words: tired, mangoes, musicāĀ
feel free to ask me if ur confused about anything and have questions! thank you so much for reading <3 im excited for this heh
inspired by recent haikyuu otome teasers i keep seeing online and the fact that i dropped my summer class and am taking on personal projects (like painting my room LMAO i gotta manifest my inner buff daddee ushi to move shit in my room bc i kid u not everything is rlly heavy in here. and i also delved back into otomes on my phone,, does anyone else play midnight cinderella or mr love LOL talk 2 me)
haikyuu x otome masterlist
#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu imagines#kuroo x reader#oikawa x reader#kenma x reader#sugawara x reader#hinata x reader#kageyama x reader#bokuto x reader#akaashi x reader#daichi x reader#asahi x reader#nishinoya x reader#tanaka x reader#yaku x reader#ushijima x reader#tendou x reader#osamu x reader#tsukishima x reader#yamaguchi x reader#atsumu x reader#futakuchi x reader#iwaizumi x reader#yachi x reader#kiyoko x reader#ukai x reader#haikyuu x otome#haikyuu x otome special#haikyuu x reader otome
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cries think I made my ask too long so like half of it got deleted bc I typed it right into the askbox. anyways. I come bearing a3 thoughts! at first i was gonna watch the spring/summer and autumn/winter ones and then give my thoughts on both but. turns out i had too many thoughts lol? which i shouldve expected but i actually kind of... got bored by the first two chapters of this event! so i skipped and went to the stranger. and then went back. (1/?)
and then i got to like "tsuzuru and kazunari are having a fight?" and jumped on that like a starving wolf bc helllll yeah! i rly adored kazunari in sardine search, i think he was great! hes just so nice and has good vibes. he and taichi are kind of similar i feel? but i think their respective ages contribute to a lot of difference in their characters. why does it feel like this askbox limit personally wants me dead. (2/?)
anyways! i rly enjoyed the improv scene devolving to a real fight. admittedly i was kinda surprised that the content of that improv wasnt rly too similar to their actual fight? like normally a3 has the story of the play run parallel to like the actual real character drama so i thought the improv might function as the play in this event... it was still good tho. the scene i mean. (3/?)
also i rly liked tenma ragging on them afterwards. like he was mean but. first i adore tenma. second he just felt like. a different meddling type to muku lol? like the vibes he gave me were always like... im going to be a considerate leader and watch out for the ppl under me! therefore im gonna make sure theyre doing fine! aggressively. i think tenmas also just like a friendly person who likes to take care of others in general? like im not saying hes omi or anything but just like. (4/?)
that time he offers his car ride to juza so they can go to school together like hes surprisingly open compared to his initial prickliness. also ive got thoughts abt the tenma juza SSR conversation thing i read. one day ill make a tenma and juza fic and complete a trifecta haha... but thats something for another day! back to the actual story. the way tsuzuru dives right in after kazunari! that was so nice. like its easy to see how much they care abt each other. (5/?)
to the point where like even while theyre fighting theyre like angry but still like fairly quiet bc i think theyre both at least trying to be considerate of each other. ah the moment kazunari didnt respond to tsuzuru trying to talk to him i KNEW he was sick tho. felt proud of myself for calling that one but also the reason i knew is bc i have used the "character being sick during an argument causing them both to make up with each other" trope myself before so uh. like recognizes like haha. (6/?)
anyways the cg there was fuckin beautiful like kazunari looks so sad in the middle bit but then u see his shy smile? like hes sick but hes also like. happy to be there. idk. lovely. i adore kazu i think hes just deeply sweet to other people. tsuzuru telling him "you make everyone around you feel as bright and cheery as the things you designā is so wonderful too (7/?)
now im thinking. ah tsuzuru probably feels quite drained after a script and such (i know i am when i finish any piece--its like the emotions just rush out of me) so i like to think that like yknow. kazunari dropping by his room or whatever helps him set himself back to normal! but also when tsuzurus like oh u left ur magazines here! i suddenly remembered. wait shit kazunari and tsuzuru arent even roommates. wonder how much they bother masumi lmaooo. anyways overall very good story! (8/?)
some more thoughts: itaru and citron were so cute in this event! just like. citron saying itaru winking makes his heart skip a beat and itaru quoting citrons wrong sayings (which. i am also guilty of today i told my brother "we'll jump that bridge when we cross it" so) also i love how yuki is like "thank god i wasnt partnered with that hack" but like. yuki. u could literally just not talk about him. like its so funny to me yuki is like wow i hate tenma but he wont shut up abt him haha (9/?)
i also was a lil taken aback at hearing itaru go "for the lulz" tbh... like it fits him. but im mad it fits him? anywaysss thats all i had for this one! im gonna watch autumn/winter and go say my thoughts on that soon. sorry the ask was so broken up, idk what happened!
OLA FRIEND! Glad to see your thoughts again omg :3c
tho omg the fact tumblr deleted it all + the ask limit was all so evil D: poor friend.
I'm putting my answer under a read more because. Well. *waves hand* it got long.
The non-play events can be perhaps a little harder to get into because unlike the plays events that you start with a clear idea of at least the main plot (re: "they are preparing a play, i know the leads so i know who it will focus on"), non-plays events take a little longer to first set up what event they're participating in, how to prepare for it, and then bring up the conflict and which characters are going to have something to do with said conflict. So i can understand that they're a little harder to get into when we know the plays awaits.
On top of that, the first few events still were a bit tame because since it was early when the app released, i think they didn't go too heavy at once in case some people were still stuck on earlier chapters (esp since especially Winter is hard to unlock)
ANYWAY glad that it sucked you in on the second read :3c
So glad you were invested in that conflict!
Totally agreeing with you about Kazunari, and very good point about Taichi as well! they aren't the Puppy Pair for nothing :'D (Yuki took one look at both of them together and just Knew. His suffering knows no end (lovingly)). But yeah i think they have a lot in common, they both are the really bright and friendly figure, both also started in overcompensating a bit because both wanted to be popular in some ways.
But we do have, on one hand, Kazunari who wanted that rather late in his life while Taichi always thrived for that, the fact Kazunari made friends easily and it's just that he was scared of getting to the next level, while Taichi always struggled with this quest for popularity. In a way too both of them were at least scared to share a part of them, Kazunari worrying to show his thoughts, and Taichi being a spy and all of that... which impacts them really differently considering the guilt it puts on Taichi. And then you add their age into the mix, especially the fact Kazu is the oldest of his troupe and Taichi the youngest of his, it makes them fairly similar all while being fairly different.
both are so interesting to me and i love them bothhh, so it's always nice to see them have focus.
admittedly i was kinda surprised that the content of that improv wasnt rly too similar to their actual fight? like normally a3 has the story of the play run parallel to like the actual real character drama so i thought the improv might function as the play in this event
i love how you are seeing the patterns a3 tends to do it's so neat!
It's true the fight isn't really similar to their actual fight, though i do love that they had "swapped" their personality for the act and ended up insulting each other for theirr swapped personality. Like, Kazunari insulted part of himself in Tsuzuru's character and Tsuzuru did the same?? and then the fight escalated and the way Kazunari broke character hurts bc it's really that Tsuzuru hit where it hurts. But yeah it still wasn't too relevent to their actual fight, though i think the thing is that their fight was as such mostly because they tend to clash often due to their personalities rather than just this singular reason why, so to have the play go more "it's their personalities the problem" kinda hurt lol. But yeah still agreed that it didn't reflect much on the plot itself
I was rereading the improv bit to answer correctly and man since we're going to talk about Tenma next, i just. Love that when Kazunari, breaking character, his eyes sad, tells Tsuzuru "you have no rights talking to me like that..." it then cuts on Tenma being upset. Bc like. Exactly like you say, he wants to look out for the people under him. and like. Kazunari is his friend. A friend he also snapped at once and insulted for being who he was, so he probably could have relived a bit of his fight with Kazunari seeing those two fights; Except that now Kazunari is one of his closest friend and he doesn't like that.
Also like. It was also because he could still hide under the plot of the improv but it's so rare, and it never happened before that point, that Kazunari stands for himself in a "the way you treat me is unfair"? Like again re: his fight with Tenma, when Tenma snapped at him, while Tenma was unfair with him, Kazunari took the blame, called himself annoying and all yaknow?
The fact Kazunari is starting to accept that he can take more place for himself is something the whole Summer Troupe have been trying to help him work on, but especially Tenma. Tenma is always there trying to push Kazunari to say what he means, to express his feelings, to stop hiding.
And for once, Kazunari does that in front of everyone... and it's because he's breaking because of his fight with Tsuzuru.
I think Tenma probably felt it was even more of a reason to get involved like, this is the thing he's been working on with Kazunari about, and now he's being all hurt about it, not on Tenma's watch!
And i totally agree with your take on Tenma! (and would LOVE to read the Tenma and Juza fic once you get to it :3c). I think, Tenma is really caring and is trying to take a place as a caretaker and all, but unlike Omi, he has absolutely no reference for it.
Omi is the eldest of multiple brothers and everything indicates his parents have always been lovely to him. Add to it how he ended up leader of a delinquent crew he was clearly looking after, Omi has a history of taking care of people, of nurturing them, and he knows what he's doing. Meanwhile Tenma grew up on TV sets, mostly surrounded by adults and not by people his age, mostly getting advice from being ordered around by directors i think. And his parents are distant, hyperfocused on their job, not really nursing with him. So Tenma meanwhile really didn't have a family emotional support and was in situation where he couldn't befriend other kids his age. His only reference was probably Igawa (his agent) and i think for a long time he didn't exactly see it, and Igawa remained mostly professional so there was probably the idea of it not being sincere? That Tenma had to grow out of.
So like, they're both extremely nurturing and caring, but my point is that Omi has experiences in it and is at ease with it, while Tenma has been so alone and in places were he had no support system that even if he wants to support others, he still struggles with how to do it because he has no set exemple. And that's his development in the main story arc, to learn from how Izumi shows she cares in order to care back at them all.
Like i mean the way Tenma yelled at them about their mistakes at first feel like he would have picked it up from some directors on TV set yaknow? Probably hearing them say that with no consequences on others actors, seeing it worked, didn't think "that's an abuse of power and the actors probably all think badly of their director for that" but "wow that works", tried it on his troupesmates and realized this is... not how that works. And it's spending time watching how Izumi encourages them that have him fix his way to approach it.
So yeah i got lost too into it but like. I feel you on Tenma i love him so much and i love his development so to see him get pissed and involved there? was really nice. even if he was aggressive about it. He's still learning.
ANYWAY back to Tsuzuru and Kazunari, totally agree with what you say next. They still care a lot about each other and yeah they're at a point where this consideration they have for each other make their anger more quiet than trying to attack one another (Banri could NEVER-). so yeah totally agree with you!
DLKFJDLKF i LOVE the reasoning on "recognizing that Kazunari was sick". Your writer's powers making you see through... *coughs* unlike Tsuzuru....
AND YEAH ALL YOU SAY ABOUT THE CG.. YEAH. Kinda crying thinking about it again now LDKJFLKDJF It's just. Everything about it is so soft and tender. The things Tsuzuru tells Kazunari are soo so sweet sobs. They're just adorable i love those kids. and also i feel you for Kazu he's just that great huh?
The whole set up about Kazu dropping by his room is so so cute! I love it! Like probably the very first time Tsuzuru braces himself because "oh no i'm not in the mood to stand mister hyperenergy himself" but Kazunari quickly adjust his energy so that Tsuzuru can just recharge without being overwhelmed. Yes it would drive Masumi completely nuts. Which i think is a plus for Tsuzuru like, hey, if Masumi gets annoyed once in a while it's a win. But yeah also i think that Tsuzuru and Kazunari should really have the Artistic Soldiarity of Students in Art school Probably Working Until Very Late To Complete Their Projects. Would love if at the end Tsuzuru gave it back yaknow?
but yeah their story was really nice i'm so glad you liked it! :D
oh god yeah Itaru and Citron were SO cute in it too, i also love the comments Citron makes about Itaru's winks. Just there flirting in front of everyone like those two embarrassing friends huh. (probably with Muku being all starry eyes considering he greatly admires both Itaru and Citron and, well, Romance.). And yeah i love how Itaru ends up so much into Citron's rhythm (and this idiom you said? is glorious actually, 10 points for you)
DLKFJDLKF what a call out toward Yuki. "yes i hate Tenma,no i won't shut up about him, also if YOU say you hate Tenma i'm going to stab you with my needles, have a nice fucking day.". I love their dynamics so much aha
And yeah Itaru is there cursing us the whole time with the fact he's the greatest nerd ever and it fits him perfectly. It makes me laugh so hard.
Thank you so much for having shared your thoughts there! it's always a blast to read through them and i dearly enjoyed it! (+ it makes me relive the event a little and it makes me soft!)
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! So glad you had so many thoughts about all of this, what a blast.
thank you for sharing, and looking forward the Autumn/Winter reactions :3c
Take care!
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hey Ely!
So today was my first gender therapy session and it went terribly i hated it. the psychiatrist was not very nice, kept using wrong expressions (one of her first sentences was "so you're *deadname* and you want to become sam" which is wrong on many levels) and she kept making me feel awkward and anxious, it was a really draining moment/day. i don't really know what i was expecting but i kept feeling like this was a test i needed to pass and that i was failing. so im not doing really well right now. Im seeing her again in June and a few more times for a year, hopefully ill get hormones after that. i haven't questioned my gender in quite some time so this is a weird old/new feeling. Other than that ive had a good weekend and im looking forward to my tattoo appointment later this month, so im mainly focusing on that at the moment. You asked me if i was willing to share my journey so here ya go! started with a bumpy road but the final destination keeps me going!
Hope you're doing well and taking care of yourself!
Lots of love
-š
hey rocket!! thank you for feeling safe to tell me/the followers how itās been going. my response is goin under a cut, hope thatās okay !!
itās hard to feel let down by things that you reallyĀ shouldnāt have to deal with (and which i honestly...donāt understand why they would deadname you at...at a gender therapy session. and the āwant to becomeā is seriously rubbing me the wrong way...can you maybe talk to someone about that? granted, iāve never been to a gender therapy session but that canāt possibly be okay? if this continues iād definitely take it up with someone higher up there/someone who can help rectify it.) iām going to try not to let my frustration at that make me Go Off but. iām so sorry that made you feel insecure, and it shouldnāt have felt like it was some sort ofĀ ātestā. you are SO valid in your gender identity and iām proud of you for surviving that. you shouldnāt have had to but iām glad that you did.
iām happy to hear that the rest of your weekend was good, though! what tattoo are you getting if you donāt mind me asking? š where (on your body) are you getting it? bc thatās super cool!! iām happy for you!! i think iād like to get tattoos eventually, but we shall see (,:Ā
remember to drink water and eat, and know that your destination is worth the journey! even if, yes, itās bumpy sometimes.Ā
much love you you too, rocket <3 excited for your tat!!
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