#ive had too much of other people this week

[whorrorbvby]

an update:

hey friends a lot of people have been asking where ive been on other socials and im sorry for being m.i.a and ignoring everyone’s worries. im not getting into it right now and i dont know if i want to talk about the details publicly. 

i deleted tumblr from my phone about two and a half weeks ago and ive had a friend keeping a queue going on main for me. it might be that way permanently now i don’t know. I don’t know that I want to come back to tumblr if im being honest. a lot of things happened and i just can’t handle seeing certain people anymore so i’ve been hanging out on two of the more safer socials where tumblr people people generally leave me alone. not that im upset with you any of you or anything it’s more of a personal relationship and it just turned me off of basically everything and i just can’t handle a lot right now.  

i didn’t want to stop posting my own content for obvious reasons but i really can’t bring myself to come back it’s too hard and my heart can’t handle it right now. i also haven’t taken any new photos or anything and as of right now i don’t really feel super comfortable in sharing my body in that way. situations have made me feel disgusting as a person and i can’t look at myself. im trying to post more on ig to boost myself back up but i don’t know my self image is kind of ruined now. plus i’ve lost 15lbs from stress and inability to eat because of it and with how many people already harass and bully me for how scrawny i am i don’t want to subject myself in my current mental state to even the possibility of anyone saying anything. 

but like i said i have a friend running main for me and i might have them run this account too and my pepper page just because i do want to go back to making content i just dont know if i can handle posting or being in certain spaces right now. 

on top of what im currently dealing with in my personal life this is just a really hard time for me in general because of the holiday season and close to the anniversary of my best friends death so i tend to shut down a little anyway it’s just my entire world came crashing down again and im honestly starting to give up on even existing. i know im being melodramatic and i need to suck it up and just go back to status quo it’s just really hard this time and i cant force myself into a positive headspace like i used to even for a second. i have honestly never felt this empty and i barely know who i am or what my worth is anymore. 

i dont know if i’ll turn my asks back on. my friend offered to answer anything for me but its better for my mental health if i dont because i know people will ask questions and i dont trust myself to not completely go off on a tangent. im sorry i know im rambling but i feel like a proper update with zero room for misunderstanding is needed and i dont want to sugarcoat or lie to any of you to make myself seem or feel better cuz i respect the hell out of you guys and you deserve honesty if for nothing else. and i appreciate so fucking much you all continuing to support me and hype me up through all the bullshit life keeps throwing at me. 

im mostly on ig and threads right now and on threads im talking about games and movies with new people im meeting and it’s been really helping through shit. if you follow me on snap you saw me say im thinking about deleting everything. my accounts are still up and as long as my friend still wants to help me out i’ll at least have a queue running on main but i’ve deleted every social app other than ig and threads. i wholeheartedly planned on deleting snap last night but it’s the only way some of you get any updates from me so for now i wont delete it but i might make a new one instead just to get away from situations that are bringing me down. we’ll see. if I make a new snap i’ll post it everywhere n put it in my bios. that being said i don’t have a private/nsfw snap and i wont make one im sorry. i still wont sell content outside of what i post on peppers and i wont do customs im sorry. maybe in the future but right now i need to focus on myself and getting out of this headspace before i do anything else. 

but truly thank you for sticking with me and just genuinely being the best crew around. i promise to try my best to get out of this mess of a headspace im in as quickly as possible and im really sorry for basically abandoning everything again but i really am hopeful for the future and just trying to focus on myself and my happiness at the moment 🙏🏻🧡

[namluvili]

I wanna be your lover | seok-jin one shot

this is my first one shot! sorry if its too short or long, i just really liked this idea.

pairing: f!reader x seok-jin (they are fwb)

Word count: 1.4k

!!THIS CONTAINS SMUT!! THIS IS ONLY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES! I DO NOT PERSONALLY THINK OF BTS THIS WAY, warnings below!!

warning(s): drinking, possessive jin, hides his feelings for reader but he sucks at it and its adorable. jin and reader are fwb, jin wants something more but reader doesn't (or does she?), f1ngering, making out, unprotected s3x (pls be safe guys), jin goes down on reader, blowj0b, doggystyle, r1ding, edging, jin has a kink for doing stuff in public, lmk if i forgot anything!

You and jin have been seeing eachother for about 5 months now, but because hes on tour, youve barely been able to see him as much. so it wouldn't hurt to see someone else right? Maybe the bar your going to will have someone that you can quickly get dick from, nothing more.

You put on your sluttiest dress and a thong that can be quickly torn off if it needs to be, but what didnt help was that jin bought it for you. you do your hair and put your heels on and make your way out the door.

You arrive at the bar, quickly looking around to see if you can plot on someone. You see this handsome man sitting at the bar, drinking. You decide to play the 'innocent girl whos never drank before' act and go to sit next to him.

"Hey, ive never seen you here before, are you new or something? want me to buy you a drink?" the man says to you. "Yeah, i never drank before, i dont even know where to start. Names Y/N by the way" you reply to him, chuckling. "oh nice, name is jungkook. nice to meet you Y/N."

Many drinks later, you are feeling very tipsy. Jungkook looks at you with lust in his eyes and puts his hand on your thigh, slowly reaching up your dress. "Damn, no wonder you never came here, people wouldnt know how to react with you." he says before slowly putting his lips up to yours.

You got him. You got him around your finger now. Nows your time to take him home and quickly get it over with. You pull back from jungkook and say, "wanna take this back to my place?" as you put on a smile that could make any man melt at the sight.

"I dont think so, princess." a familar voice says behind you. Fuck, its jin, you are, so. fucked. Jungkook looks up at the man and says, "Damn, You couldve told me you had a boyfriend, or else i wouldnt have even talked to you." he says while walking away. You turn around and say, "Jin what the fuck?! you cant just stalk me like that. Considering i haven't even seen you in 2 fucking weeks. God forbid i get some dick that isn't yours, because i know damn well you got pussy whenever you wanted on your tour." "I didnt actually, all i could do was think about you and the way you used to ride me before i left. Its been way to long without you baby. Do you know how hard it was to not go to the bathroom in the hotel and not jerk off to the thought of you? Ive been missing you and the area between your legs."

"Even still jin! im not your property and i cant just not see anyone whenever im horny and only stick to you. I need to see other people." you say while fighting every urge to not just run out of the bar. "Oh really? Keep those words then. Ill make sure to fuck that attitude out of you." He says while having a look in his eyes that creates a puddle between your legs. Fuck, you could barely keep yourself together, trying to hide the fact thats all you wanted. You wanted him, his dick, and his heart. You wanted to belong to him. And he wanted the same, he wanted you to belong to him. The fire that was between you two wasnt gonna go out anytime soon.

He grabbed your hand and went to the nearest bathroom in the bar. He pushed you against the wall and started attack your lips with his. You couldnt even fight him, you missed him so much deep down that you felt so empty without him inside of you. He props you up onto the sink and holds you by the waist, making his way up to your core. He felt the thong you were wearing and sutomaticly knew it was the one he bought you.

"Wow, you were even gonna try to fuck someone else while wearing this thong i got you while i was away. God, your such a slut arent you?" He said while rubbing your thigh. Before you could even answer he put his finger onto your core. He could feel how wet you were. "Cmon baby, tell me how much of a slut you are, use your words my love." You couldnt even reply, because of his fingers sliding up and down your core. You could only reply with stutters and moans.

"Y-yes jin, im a slut. O-oh god, please. I wont do it again, just please fuck me already." "Oh im sorry? you wont do what again? can you repeat that Y/N?" he asked, and god. the way he said your name, it made you on the brink of cumming and he hasnt even done anything yet. God, you were so in love with this man.

"J-jin please i wont do it again, i wont go to anyone else. only you, a-and if you arent here then ill have to wait. O-oh god.."

He brought up his fingers and said, "Good girl. Now im gonna give you a fucking so good and show you who you belong to." He picked you up and tossed you on his shoulder and walked you out of the bar.

Once back at your place, he tossed you onto your bed and ripped off your dress. He slid his hand down your chest and played with your nipples, which made them hard instantly. He brought his head down and sucked on the left nipple. You were moaning and panting so much that someone wouldve thought you were about to cum. But not jin, he could read you like a book and he knew that these moans were filled with love and lust. He let go of your nipple with a pop and went down to your legs.

He slid off your thong carefully and spread open your legs. "O-oh god jin, please. im so desperate." You said as he looked at you from between your legs. "Oh baby, your in for a night" he said as he started licking your core. He sucked and licked so good that you were seeing stars in your eyes. He was teasing your entrance with his tounge and it made you even more desprate, forming tears in your eyes.

You could hear the slurping and sucking, making you close to just snapping, but he stopped. "Get up and get in doggy-style. I wanna see how good you look for me" You got up and got into the postistion. you could hear his zipper go down and you felt his d1ck press up against your core. He slowly insterted and stretched you out.

"Fuck, i missed this pussy so much you have no idea baby." He said as he let you loosen up for him. "Are you ready baby? Im gonna give you the best fucking of your life." He said as he started pounding into you.

You couldnt even hold yourself up as you were drooling and just laying there. He put his arm underneath you and held you up.

As he kept going harder and faster, you could hear the clapping that was going on between you two. You felt the line in your lower stomach about to snap. He could tell you were about to cum by the way you started clenching around him. "Oh no, not yet baby, you can cum when i let you." He said as he slipped out of you. "This is what bad girls get when they try to get dick from somewhere else."

He flipped you guys over and now you were on top of him. "Ride. Me. Now." he demanded and you started riding. Side to side, up and down, and back and forth. "J-Jin please, im so close. Just let me.."

He snatched your head and pulled it down and looked you deep into your eyes, panting and sweating. "Cum with me. Show me who turns you into a mess and makes you cum around his cock."

And boom. Thats all you needed for that line to snap in your lower stomach. You were shaking around his cock and moaning more then ever. Not to long after, jin was finishing inside of you.

Panting and sweating he picked up your face and said, "I love you Y/N."

"I love you more Jin. I missed you."

[youarealwaysenough]

I'm so exhausted, my arm hurts, and I had to ask my neighbor to keep her TV down AGAIN because the people on the other end of the zoom complained again and this time it was a call with one of our clients and I could tell they were not happy. It's just...it's been a week y'all

[hella1975]

so there's a reason my new job got back to me so quickly about my application and that's bc it's an absolute fucking shambles like actually perfect timing for me to decide to rewatch the bear bc i have never more felt like ive been thrown into a broke on-its-knees establishment trying to crawl its way up the ladder where i am somehow a godsend to them. my old job was crazy and shambolic in the sense that the industry is just Like That but this one?????? insanity. every 5 mins i am questioning what im doing with my life. ive already had a walk-in fridge moment

[yamikawaii]

OK WHAT DID WE LEARN TODAY KIDS!

DO NOT PUT EXFOLIATING SOAP OR ANY TYPE OF PRODUCT WITH LITTLE GRITTY BITS ON OR AROUND OPEN WOUNDS NO MATTER HOW MUCH OF A HURRY YOU ARE IN. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LOOK FOR SOMETHING ELSE.

[phagodyke]

ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

You know

For once in my life

I dont dread going to work

[kitnapz]

i dont think any other show has had an impact on me as huge as awae. that show consumed my entire life for months and months when i was 15 and nothing has changed its so so dear to me

[florida3exclamationpoints]

.

[blossom-in]

i knew id struggle with a shared kithcne but i didnt expect to struggle this much... i dont think it helps that i dont even know who im sharing with and it seems like more than the amount of people the kitchen is for are using it? like in a i share with 2 girls i think that already know each other and are 3rd years and make food with some of their friends so the kitchen feels full and i feel way too self concious to go and make my coleslaw wrap

[mejomonster]

I'm so tired

[ilostyou]

lallaaalalala just some things on my mind

[shvr]

feeling extra lonely tonight

[mrfoox]

.... I feel bad bc my friend is sad ) :

[phagodyke]

actually ive been thinking abt this a lot lately like basically for years i assumed i was very (cis)het passing and only recently ive become aware that i am in fact. very obviously perhaps almost comically gay to other queer ppl. like lmaoooo ok then

[maddy-ferguson]

like a month ago a guy told my friend he thought she was cold and disrespectful the day before at a girl's party and since she and i are always together the description has to apply to me too especially because he was talking about a moment where we were talking just the two of us so we reference it 24/7 and the other day we were like this is just like art and patrick who's cold and who's disrespectful...