#like i very rarely have a friend who schedules time with me themselves. makes time in their schedule to accomodate when I Am free

[mejomonster]

I'm so tired

[zaynontour]

Even though I read plenty of fics and have been doing so since I first started in 2021, this is the first time I actually noted down the names of the fics as I read them this month. I’m so thankful to our fandom’s wonderful writers for sharing these with us and it is because I read so many that I wanted to start noting them down so I can remember them. I was debating posting the list but fics have always been a source of comfort for me and if you feel the same, maybe these can bring you some comfort too.

🎃 The Serpent and the Lion by louiseparker @louiseparker [212k]

Seventh year Hogwarts AU in which Harry Styles is an asshole Gryffindor jock with daddy issues, Louis is just trying to get through the year, and Liam, Zayn, and Niall rarely ever know what the hell is going on.

🎃 Tainted Saints And Velvet Vices by Toomanytears @toomanydreamers [126k]

A self-fulfilling Hogwarts AU in which Louis is new to seventh year and Harry is the resident devil-may-care Slytherin set to make his entire experience a living misery. Due to less than favourable circumstances they're forced to forge an unwilling, tentative relationship for their own survival. Repressed emotions, decidedly unromantic ballroom dancing, Triwizard Tournament tasks, creative jinxes and twilight flying above the Forbidden Forest ensue.

🎃 You Drive Me Round The Bend by TheCellarDoor [77k]

In which Louis is a spoilt rich kid who’s always on the phone while he drives and Harry is a struggling musician making his way down the mountain. It’s just a matter of time before they crash and burn.

🎃 but me, i'm not a gamble by orphan_account [33k]

A Posh & Becks AU in which Harry is a star on the stage and Louis is a star on the pitch, but they're both inexplicably terrible at articulating their feelings. In the end, it only takes a season's worth of failed matchmaking schemes, platonic dinner dates, road trip holidays, and one very convenient David Beckham cameo for them to figure it all out. And if Niall knew all along? Well, he at least has the decency not to be too smug about it.

🎃 The Lone Hydrangea by sarah_writes @lightwoodsmagic [77k]

The post Hogwarts AU where Harry's a florist, Louis' a muggle who edits fantasy books, and they both have no say in how quickly they fall for each other.

🎃 The Sunshine Stays by quickedween @becomeawendybird [15k]

It's three years after One Direction got back together, and Harry and Louis have just come off a world tour. They're enjoying a much more relaxed schedule the second time around, allowing themselves to bask in married life. Until, one day, Louis surprises Harry on vacation, and there are some surprising consequences.

🎃 House Of The Rising Sun by @itsmotivatingcara [100k]

Witch Harry/Vampire Louis. The Originals AU.

🎃 Something Like This by multicoloredme [150k]

After leaving his boyfriend, Louis is a little sore emotionally and is ready for a fresh start in a new city. When a coworker tells him about a couple friends looking for a new flatmate, he decides to go for it. Little does he know, that one of his new flatmates is the gorgeous, captivating guy he met at a party a few weeks ago. A New Girl/Grey’s Anatomy/Relief Next To Me inspired AU.

🎃 Say That You Can See Me (I'll Speak Up I Swear) by @coffeelouis [20k]

The liberal arts COLLEGE AU where Harry knows Louis as the best friend of the boy he has been hopelessly in love with for years now and Louis knows Harry as the boy he wished would look away from Zayn long enough to notice him.

🎃 Don't You Think It's Boring How People Talk? by wildestdreams @thelavendrhaze [80k]

A Gossip Girl AU where Louis is the king of the Upper East Side and Harry is the bad boy he loves to hate until a late-night limo ride changes everything.

🎃 Magical Soup by gloria_andrews @gloriaandrews [28k]

Slytherin prefect Louis Tomlinson's seventh year at Hogwarts takes an immediate turn for the worse when he's made to be potions partners with Harry Styles, Hufflepuff's resident heartthrob and class clown. Louis has always considered Styles to be a terrible show-off who coasts by on his charm and good looks, but the more they work together, the more he questions that idea. As term goes on, will Louis be able to admit to himself that he might actually like Harry Styles after all... and maybe, just maybe, as more than a friend?

🎃 King Of My Heart by wildestdreams @thelavendrhaze [80k]

A Red, White, and Royal Blue AU where Hollywood elite, Louis Tomlinson, finds himself falling for the closeted Prince of England.

🎃 And What If I Were You by @jacaranda-bloom [100k]

For Louis, will losing his sight give him the clarity to realise what is right in front of him?

For Harry, will losing the love of his life give him the strength to finally open his heart?

And can they find their way back, before they lose each other forever? A story of love. A story of loss. A story of fighting for each other, no matter the odds.

🎃 Tell me when you're ready (I'm waitin') by insufferablelovebirds [17k]

When Harry's love letters to his old crushes get sent accidentally, one recipient, Louis, offers to help him fake a relationship but it gets complicated when feelings get involved.

Or an au loosely based off to all the boys I've loved before.

Total Fics Read: 14

[allwaswell16]

A fic rec of One Direction fics that show a healthy relationship dynamic as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave the writers kudos and comments! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!

- Louis / Harry -

☁️ Of Mates and Men by @bananaheathen

(E, 630k, wedding) In which, Louis and Harry meet as best men for their best friends' wedding... well... sort of. Or, the one where Harry's just moved back from New York and Louis doesn't believe in romance. Or, I guess... the one where Zayn and Liam are getting married.

☁️ Relief Next To Me by dolce_piccante / @haydolce

(E, 333k, fwb) AU. What happens when a baker and a graphic designer meet via a very specific Craigslist post? Fate, friendship, food, and maybe more.

☁️ Have Love, Will Travel by @kingsofeverything

(E, 97k, road trip) Rather than spend the summer working at their desks, Louis and Harry are given the opportunity to crisscross the country together in a tiny camper, filming their adventures for a YouTube series.

☁️ No Control Club (series) by @sadaveniren

(E, 96k, bdsm) Harry, a popular BDSM blogger, writes a negative review about Louis’ club. Louis wants to have a chance to make it up to him.

☁️ My Kind of Rain by @lululawrence

(NR, 30k, musicians) the Tim McGraw/Faith Hill AU where Louis is Tim, Harry is Faith, and just when Louis thinks he is going to get some rest, his entire world turns upside down thanks to the man with curly hair and the voice that seems to sing right to Louis' heart.

☁️ The Sunshine Stays by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird

(E, 15k, canon) They're enjoying a much more relaxed schedule the second time around, allowing themselves to bask in married life. Until, one day, Louis surprises Harry on vacation, and there are some surprising consequences.

☁️ Let Me Be Your Everlasting Light by Layne Faire / @laynefaire

(M, 11k, Northern Lights) Harry arranges a trip to Norway as a gift for Louis, but little does Louis know Harry is also hoping to make his own dream come true, too.

☁️ I Can't Hear You by kikikryslee / @flamboyantommo

(E, 9k, omegaverse) the one where Harry is self-conscious about his body because it's not the 'typical omega body' and Louis shows him why he loves that.

☁️ There's a Ring in the House by YesIsAWorld / @louandhazaf

(M, 3k, proposal) Louis knows Harry is going to propose. He's terribly impatient about it.

☁️ Changing Weather (For Worse or For Better) by @haztobegood

(M, 3k, established relationship) Five times it's raining and one time it stops.

☁️ I Choose You by @disgruntledkittenface

(NR, 3k, established relationship) Louis is exhausted during a busy time at work. After a long commute home, the last thing he expects is for Harry to have a surprise for him.

☁️ Gonna Dress You Up In My Love by @fallinglikethis

(T, 3k, humor) Harry decides to take up knitting. He's horrible at it. Louis wears everything anyway.

☁️ The Future's in Our Hands by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(G, 2k, humor) Louis loves a good idea, a good invention. He's always ready to try out the next project. His husband would maybe just like him to wait until morning.

☁️ The Nearness of You by theweightofmywords / @lil0

(M, 2k, mpreg) Harry and Louis' baby is due any moment. Harry just wants pretty toenails, and Louis just wants to help.

☁️ If Wishes Were Dishes by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(T, 2k, living together) Why is Harry doing his dishes? He must be mad at Louis. He must be absolutely livid at the way Louis is living his life as a slob.

☁️ Sugary Sweet by @neondiamond

(G, 1k, kid fic) Harry and Louis’ daughter knows exactly how to get what she wants, Harry is pregnant, and Louis is the best husband ever.

- Rare Pairs -

☁️ a little tenderness by @disgruntledkittenface

(NR, 10k, Niall/Harry) Harry’s never been around an omega in depri as bad off as Niall looks; most of the time, there’s an alpha friend or family member who can help out with scenting and physical contact. Oh.

☁️ two languages, one love by @nouies

(NR, 3k, Louis/Cillian Murphy) The three times Louis speaks to Cillian in Spanish, and the one time he finally gets a response.

☁️ Fine Line by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13

(G, 1k, Louis/Nick Grimshaw) Telling his family was always going to be a big deal, but doing it alone was a sacrifice he could make. He never thought they’d fall about laughing.

[bazooka-overkill]

MR SANDMAN BRAINROT EUEUUUGGHHH

okay yay brainrot won the poll. also i might psot dragon chan headcanons requested by wallet becuz yaaaaaayyy

uhhh also i dont really gaf about timelines. so if something doesnt line up time wise. ignore it. shh

ermmm cw for child fighting!! mr sandman didnt have the best middle school experience

BAZOOKA'S THOUGHTS:

i need this man so badly PLS MR. SANDMAN ONE CHAAAAANCEEEE

who typed that omg…

GENERAL SANDMAN INFO (canon + headcanon)

full name: isaiah joseph banks

birthday: april 12th

age: 31

height: 6’5” (197 cm)

weight: 284 lbs (129 kg)

origin: philadelphia, PA, USA

gender: cis male

sexuality: bisexual (might be in denial lmao. men say theyre fighting demons and the demons r bisexuality LMFAO)

family:

victoria banks, mother, alive

george banks, father, alive

no siblings

HEAD CANON TIME:

- insomniac. goes between sleeping for 11 hrs during the day and not sleeping at ALL, also explains the eyebags in his TD

- incredibly horrible sleep schedule. stems from his childhood

- also stems from his childhood but not exactly the best at socializing w other people

- somehow is friends w glass joe. don't ask me how it works they just ARE (and they may be a little. fruity.)

- has one of those light up squishy things that u hit to change the color. yeah he either fucking SLAMS that thing or gently pats it when he wants to change it. it’s a bunny for anyone curious

- goes thru the 5 min nap to the 5 hour nap pipeline. “oh im just gonna take a small nap,” then wakes up w the blankets all over the fucking room, the god damn windows r open, he’s somehow upside down, etc etc

- him and the ref have beef after his TD victory animation

- was one of those kids that would be on his knees near some mulch playing w the roly polies on the playground. he'd have like 20 in his palms in 5 minutes

- if u catch him right when he wakes up (like. RIGHT right when he wakes up) he accidentally calls people “baby.” it’s a habit he picked up from his mom and he’s pushed it back into his mind, but it slips when he isn’t exactly thinking (totally not projecting my own habits onto him guys)

- adding to the above that the person who originally found this out was glass joe. take that as you will

- he sends some of his boxing money to his parents to support them (he’s a mamas boy LEAVE ME ALONEEEEE)

- doesn’t exactly search for a relationship, believes that when he decides he’s ready for one the right person will find him

- gets dragged into world circuit outings by either super macho man or aran ryan. on the rare occasion it’ll be soda. one time they all went bowling and sandman watched aran ryan throw a bowling ball like a fucking baseball and it broke the ceiling

- knows how to make a MEAN philly cheese steak. will be mentally freak out (positively) if someone mentions they’ve never had one before. if he wasn’t so stoic he would be jumping up and down and going “YAAAAAYYYYY🎉🎉🎉” becuz he finally gets an excuse to make one for someone

- has 100% almost broken the world circuit ring's ropes (see his intermission animation in contender)

- his locker in the locker rooms is either completely spotless or dented to hell and back. bonus points if theres like. a fake succulent in there or some shit

- luvs animals. takes pics of cool animals he sees anywhere

origin backstory thing under cur bc its long

origin:

isaiah joseph banks, known as his boxing alias mr. sandman, was born on april 12th to victoria banks and george banks in the Doylestown Hospital. born to loving parents, isaiah grew up as an only child.

isaiah learned to keep to himself and care for himself very early on, as both of his parents were usually at work. they worked hard to provide for isaiah and themselves, but always put their son first. they

the time they spent at work would be made up at home, albeit this time could never be fully made up for a young isaiah. he had spent more time with babysitters and nannies than his own parents. of course, isaiah knew his parents loved him, but all the bonds that were supposed to be formed hadn’t; the time frame had passed.

the time they did spend together was… memorable, really. not in a bad way, but every moment— every waking minute— made isaiah into the man he is today.

every night, when his mother was home early enough, she would sing him a soft lullaby. when she wasn’t, his mother had recorded this lullaby onto a tape for him to listen to. this lullaby was the song that made mr. sandman: Mr. Sandman by The Chordettes. it wasn’t a typical children’s lullaby by any means, but by god he loves that song— present tense intended.

then, a problem arose: school. starting middle school is one thing, but isaiah found out how cruel children could be.

isaiah was big, to put it lightly. five foot six at age 12 was enough ground for bullying, and being dropped off by a few different babysitters/nannies in the morning only added to the ammunition.

with how big he was, the bullying never went farther than verbal harassment. soft giggling every time he talked in class, glances from across the classroom, the bullying was subtle except for the occasional direct blow to isaiah.

his boxing interest began when he was thirteen, where his parents enrolled him in a self defense class that revolved around boxing and the sort. they had found out about the bullying from the babysitters, as isaiah had been reporting what they had been saying to him. there, young isaiah learned the basics of boxing: dodging, punching, and jabs had been added to his arsenal.

isaiah had always relished in the safety of knowing that he’d never get attacked at school, but unfortunately this was false.

it was brutal really; the poor boy had been caught in the bathroom and was attacked from behind, slammed his face into the sink, and assaulted from there. it took around two minutes for teachers to hear the commotion, but they were two minutes too late.

there, isaiah was brought to the hospital. no one truly knows the full extent of his injuries, minus his parents. if you look closely at mr. sandman, his top teeth are a little crooked.

nothing exactly eventful happened other than he moved schools, and everything was smooth from there.

his boxing career began to take off when he was 17, when he met an old babysitter of his— one who had taken care of him up until he was 13. he had become a boxing coach and offered to take isaiah up as a student.

if you ever ask mr. sandman in an interview about his boxing idol, he’d most likely say his coach. that man taught him nearly everything he knows, and even taught him the dreamland express move that mr. sandman is most known for, albeit modified.

mr. sandman picked up his alias when his coach told him about the WVBA and their boxers. it was almost inevitable he’d choose mr. sandman in honor of his mother.

he had his first fight at age 18, where it went swimmingly well. records of this fight have been lost to time, but, according to word of mouth, mr. sandman nearly killed the poor man.

i gotta be honest w u all idk how to continue this. umm mr sandman meets a wvba recruiter and then uh yah.😁😁😁

[nanamis-bigtie]

Excuse me! Hello there! I really hope this doesn't come across as rude but it's something I've been wondering about a long time, espically since I don't know too much about asexuals and I haven't found many posts about this particular question,

but since asexuals have no too little interest in sexual feelings, how do you find the motivation to write it? To each their own, of course I voice no judgment, not at all saying asexuals don't understand sex or what is involved in it.

I am gerenally curious, is it a thing where it isn't just simply not being interested in sex and more of an exploration of a part of themselves they can't express in real life? But doesn't that make you not an asexual and just repressed? Is it that you enjoy writing and talking about sex but you don't want to gerenally have it?

I don't think it's that simple, or is it?

I'm so so sorry if this is rude or degrading and please ignore it if so, but if it isn't- I don't have much insight on it, as I am not asexual or aroace myself. I want to understand asexuality and aromance better so I can adapt my views accordingly and have a better understanding of it.

*scratches head* aaaaalright, there's a lot to unpack here. Because yeah, it is NOT that simple.

Asexuality is a spectrum type of sexuality which has one thing in common for individuals from said spectrum: lack of sexual attraction, very little of it, or developing it only under certain circumstances. Sexual attraction is not the same as libido or mood & willingness for having sex.

Some asexual people indeed do not experience libido in works. Some on top of that don't want to have anything to do with sex at all, going as far as avoiding fictional depictions of it.

But next to them there are asexual people who experience sexual attraction after first developing close bonds with an object of their attraction (you might have heard term demisexuality here). Or people who experience it very rarely (you might have heard term gray asexuality/gray ace).

Or people for whom the lack of sexual attraction is not a thing that would stop them from having sex, for various reasons. Some are just horny without the factor of being attracted to someone. Some just like the act, so they go for it, if they find an interested partner(s). Some are completely indifferent, so if their partner/friend is down for it, they're in. Some like the emotional connection that comes with sex. Some want to have biological kids. Some are sex workers. Some are all of it at once lol

And some don't want to have sex irl but find it interesting or arousing to engage with fictional depictions of it or with pornography. Some aren't attracted to irl people but experience sexual attraction to fictional characters (if you are active in selfship circles, you might sooner or later run into people who say they are fictosexual).

In other words, it's a highly individual case. What we have in common is the lack of those famous butterflies and heatwaves at the sight of a human being. What we do later with it, that depends from individual to individual 🤭

So, why as an asexual person, I write about sex? Because I like to. And I like sex, masturbation, and watching allos (aka people who experience sexual attraction) getting horny because it's a different kind of horny than mine and it always amuses me. I work with erotica for my little daily bread. I had a moment in life when I touched the sphere of sex work 'cause the market for people looking for sexual rps is quite huge and money was really tempting - but tight schedule for uni won.

It has nothing to do with repression 🤭 Been there, done that, it's been a complete opposite, and I got rid of this catholic guilt by molding it into religion kink. Beat your inner demons with a spanking paddle.

I hope it makes things a little bit more clear!

[invisibleicewands]

Take Two with Lizzy Caplan

As actress Lizzy Caplan Zooms from her Los Angeles living room, a massive fiddle-leaf fig tree looms behind her. She takes no credit for its Seymour-like size. "I don't know anything about plants, and we don't even live here half the time," she says giving props to the woman who takes care of such things when Caplan decamps to London for the other half with her husband, British actor Tom Riley, and their toddler, Alfie.

Last year, a few months after Alfie's birth, that schedule was disrupted by a six-month residency in New York while she played the pivotal role of Libby in Fleishman Is in Trouble. After wrapping, Caplan had a few weeks to move the family back to Los Angeles and begin shooting the Paramount+ series Fatal Attraction for the next four months. And aside from coming down with Covid between jobs, she loved every intense minute of it.

"I had Alfie without either of these roles being locked in, and then when he was just a few weeks old I decided to do both of them back to back, which is such a rare occurrence: to know what I'm doing for a full calendar year," she says. "It was a godsend, honestly, to know just where we would be in the world with this new baby. It was a very strange year, and the challenge was everything that I hoped it would be. It's a moment where your identity is in such flux, and you don't know where it's going to land, and for me, figuring out how to be a mother alongside getting to feel creatively fulfilled in the job that I love was incredible."

First came Fleishman. The FX on Hulu limited series from showrunner Taffy Brodesser-Akner, who adapted it from her novel, is ostensibly about Toby Fleishman (Jesse Eisenberg), a put-upon Manhattan doctor whose wife, Rachel (Claire Danes), disappears, leaving him with their two kids and a mountain of questions. He tries to navigate his new normal with help from two college friends, Seth (Adam Brody) and Libby, who also narrates the story.

But as the eight episodes progress, the focus shifts to Rachel and Libby. "What's impressive about it is that it fully works as that fake-out, Upper East Side of New York story on its own," Caplan says. "You think that Libby's telling you a story about her friend going through a divorce, but the reality is, she is facing down her feelings about her own life and middle age and getting older and all of it, and then it makes you cry."

She doesn't usually watch her own work, but in this case, she rewatched it. "I'm in awe of all my castmates," she says, beginning with Eisenberg, with whom she starred in the 2016 film Now You See Me 2. "I give Jesse credit for shouldering it all, only to recede into the background for the quote-unquote 'important' parts. It's an egoless performance, as well as being my favorite performance of his; he's so exceptionally wonderful in it. I'm impressed by Claire, who sat on the sidelines and let everybody think about her [character] in a certain way, only to have this one episode to try to change everybody's minds. That's a scary idea for many actresses: 'You're going to be reviled for six weeks.' Adam Brody played a character that could have been two-dimensional, and he infused it with so much. Everybody showed up trying to make the piece better and nobody was looking out for themselves."

Caplan isn't on social media but became aware of the show's buzz in her own way. "It's been a while since I've done something that got so much feedback from friends and family. And they all felt exactly how Taffy wanted them to feel, every step of the way. What she's done is masterful."

Reached by phone in New York, Brodesser-Akner is equally effusive. "People in my life tell me to shut up about Lizzy Caplan," she says immediately. "I won't stop talking about how wonderful she is. When she is part of your project, she feels so wholly in — intellectually, physically — that she changes the nature of the project. Literally, this was a character based on me, and after day one, it no longer was. It was this wholly new creation."

Caplan was the only actress the first-time showrunner had in mind for the role. "The entire role of Libby is that you never see her coming, and with Lizzy Caplan, you never see her coming." Meanwhile, the actress had written to her friend and Masters of Sex executive producer Sarah Timberman, who was working on Fleishman, to tell her how much she loved the book — and that she wanted to play Libby. When Brodesser-Akner heard that, "I felt like I had manifested it," she says. "She's a very famous person that we all think is our great secret."

Ever since Caplan's first role, at the age of fifteen, in the NBC cult series Freaks and Geeks, her career has had a slow build. She won acclaim as the goth outsider Janis Ian in the hit film Mean Girls, while feeling like a Hollywood outsider in real life. She dyed her hair blonde and sprayed on a tan in an effort to fit in, but it was her 2009 role in Party Down that was the turning point. She shone as the sardonic (brunette) comedian Casey in the Starz series, along with a murderer's row of actors on the rise. But the show couldn't find an audience and was canceled after two seasons — until this year's reboot. (Heartbroken she couldn't join season three, which conflicted with the Fleishman shoot, Caplan did manage a surprise cameo in the finale, and hopes a fourth season will allow her return. Starz has yet to announce a renewal.)

Even with the greater attention (and Emmy nomination) for her turn as Virginia Johnson in Showtime's drama series Masters of Sex (2013–16), she has somehow remained an under-the-radar fan favorite. "It's the best version of doing this," she notes. "It's not toxic, it's very loving and people are very respectful." She adds that with Masters of Sex, "I did get an influx of women of a certain age stopping me on the street to tell me about their sex lives, which I really enjoyed."

When she comes across a project she loves, as with Fleishman, she reaches out to let the creators know. The first season of Hulu's Castle Rock moved her to email cocreator Sam Shaw, a writer on Masters of Sex, to tell him she was a huge fan. "I'll assume that's what led to the next season coming my way." The horror series was populated with characters from Stephen King's oeuvre; for season two she was tapped to play psychopathic nurse Annie Wilkes.

That role was first played to an Oscar win by Kathy Bates in the 1990 film Misery, which almost deterred Caplan. "But since somebody's choosing to believe that I can pull that off, well before I believe that myself, I'll swing the bat." Playing Annie, in turn, gave her the courage to take on the role Glenn Close embodied so memorably in the original Fatal Attraction feature. "Annie Wilkes loomed as large in my brain as Alex Forrest did."

Fatal Attraction showrunner Alexandra Cunningham, who developed the series with Kevin J. Hynes, first met Caplan six years ago. Caplan, a fan of Cunningham's series Dirty John, asked if they could meet up for lunch, which turned into a four-hour chat. "She's genuine and she's smart and she's funny and she's interested and she's lively, and she's got great stories, but she wants to hear your stories, and that really sticks with you," Cunningham says. "When somebody who's really good at acting is also just the greatest hang, I'm immediately like, selfishly, 'I've got to figure out how I can capitalize on this.'"

When Paramount reached out years later with the concept of reimagining Fatal Attraction, Cunningham thought the role of Alex would be perfect for Caplan. "She was always in the back of my mind, but you've got to come correct to Lizzy. It's got to be something that really checks a lot of boxes. This is a person that anybody would kill to work with, even if they don't know how great she is to be around." She had no doubt Caplan could take on the iconic part and make it her own. "The more Lizzy does, the more she can do. I believe nothing more fervently than that."

Updating the 1987 erotic thriller meant reimagining Alex. Despite Close's great efforts to portray her as a deeply complex woman who suffered from mental illness, the film made her much more malevolent; the ending was reshot to suit test audiences' desire for vengeance. Close has been open about her regret with how the role and outcome were changed, and Cunningham was determined to rectify that in the series.

Caplan was fully on board. "We were instantly on the same page about the kind of story we were setting out to tell," Caplan says, adding she still loves the film. But watching it, "I feel an unbelievable amount of compassion for Alex. All of the work Glenn Close did is right there on the screen, and Alex deserved the ending that Glenn Close wanted her to have; it was just a different time."

That compassion informs her performance. "It's not my job description to label somebody evil or crazy. It's my job to figure out how to make this person feel like the decisions she is making are the only sane decisions — that everybody else is crazy." The series reveals a shift not entirely unlike Fleishman's. We initially see the affair and its repercussions from Dan's perspective (as played by Joshua Jackson). As we pivot to Alex's version of events, the reframing is eye-popping.

For all the reassessing, Caplan notes that the film was a wild ride, "So this should also feel fun and scary." And Jackson (The Affair) was the perfect partner. "I adore Josh. I'm so happy that it was him," she says. "Both of us have done shows with a lot of sex and nudity and we know how to navigate that without it being weird, and find the humor, which is everything when you have to shoot scenes like that." Their fight scenes were another story. "I felt far more terrified and vulnerable with those, and they were horrible to shoot, but I always felt really safe with Josh." The two also bonded over being new parents.

Speaking by phone from London, Jackson is heartened to hear of Caplan's trust in him. "We had some deeply uncomfortable days, and to allow yourself as a woman and a stranger to be that vulnerable to a man, and being excellent all the time, I'm just super impressed with her," he says. Those scenes were so painful, he adds, "There were definitely some nights when I went home and it took some time to shake off what we were putting on camera," a feeling exacerbated by being away from his family for the shoot.

Caplan used to have a hard time letting go of her characters, but since having her baby, she says, "It was weirdly easy to slip into that mindset while at work and very easy to slip out of it when we were finished. That made doing Fatal Attraction a very different experience than it would have been had I done it years ago."

She has no projects ahead of her at the moment, beyond flying back to London in a few weeks. "I'm just chillin'."

Brodesser-Akner would be happy to remedy that. "Lizzy told me about having lunch with another producer, and I wanted to throw myself on her like a grenade and say, 'No, stay with me!' I want her to enact everything I write for the rest of my life." Caplan's portrayal of Libby, the apparent supporting role that turns out to be the center of the story, still astonishes her.

"Lizzy figured out how to slow her roll and then pull it out in the end," Brodesser-Akner says. "I've been to a lot of opera, and I have not seen anyone pull off an aria like she did." But that's Caplan's forte — a star in stealth mode.

[silly-inky]

My princess Daisy headcanon's

(the first time I posted this, it was accidental and on private, it wouldn't let me edit it so I had to remake it in soerate parts for your ease) anyways..

༺Daisy༻🌅

So Daisy is the shortest out of all of them canonically (which I normally keep in mind) Daisy being 5’11, Peach being 6’0 and Rosalina coming in a giant 7’3. She doesn’t mind being the shortest one, she is often taller than most of the other people in her life anyways.

But when she’s at royal gatherings or meetings, she always wears shoes that make her even taller, so that she’s at least the same height as Peach, since they all wear heals anyways. It’s a bit annoying at times, so she always has a pair of slip ons hidden away just in case.

Daisy isn’t a dumb person, she is actually very intelligent when she wants to be, but her act first, think later attitude sometimes gets in the way of that. She is really interested in paleontology, history and cartography. Which means she travels a lot, this also gives her chances to build relationships with other kingdoms, and pick up some pretty awesome gifts for her friends.

Because of all this travelling she gets most of her royal duties out of the way so, she always finds herself with a lot of free time to enjoy other activities like sports, hanging out with her friends or her girlfriend Rosalina, or simply enjoying the sun.

Daisy’s Parents are still alive and ruling, she has a particularly close relationship with her father, he isn’t seen much outside of his own kingdom anymore so he loves that Daisy is able to not only travel for him, but enjoy herself while doing so. I imagine that he was always busy, so he didn’t get to spend much personal time with her when she was younger, which he deeply regrets, but she’s always been a strong determined person, he thinks she gets it from her mother, so it didn’t effect her too badly, but he still wishes he was more present while she was younger, he missed out on so much and he can never get those Years back. Because of that Daisy always takes pictures on her adventures and events she goes to, just so her dad can still experience her memories with her.

He try’s to spend more time with her now, as they have more time to, which she never turns down. In fact they’ve found that they both enjoy racing, so on a rare full day off, they will go on the dunes with buggy’s and see which one can drive faster.

This gives the Queen serious anxiety, so they have to at least wear helmets and crash gear, she’s all for having fun but watching her husband and daughter topple around a few times in their buggies like that? Yeah.. I don’t blame her.

She loves Rosalina to bits, so whenever she comes to visit, she clears her schedule so she can spend the most time with them as physically possible. When she first tried asking her out, Luigi was hyping her up, giving her tips and advice, so when he heard Rosalina said yes to a date, he ran up to Daisy and spun her around in hug!

He was so happy for them, and Daisy who was as equally excited, almost crushed the poor man in a massive squeeze/ Bear hug. She was still nervous that she would mess something up though on her date, so Luigi and Peach helped out with everything, from the location, to the outfit and the gift. In the end they enjoyed themselves, that’s all that matters.

When she told her father about the date she went on, he couldn’t help but feel a great big smile make its way onto his face, he was even happier to learn he and his daughter had the same taste in women. Tall. He being a generous 5’5, while his wife, Daisy’s mother, was 6’3.

When Daisy's father first met Rosalina, he could see the love in his daughters eyes, and how she smiled around Rosalin. He knew she must have truly been something to be able to win over his daughters heart like that.

Daisy had a bit of a hard time coming out as Bi, she wasn’t worried about her dad, he would actually be somewhat relieved he wouldn't have to worry about Boy troubles (he kind of mistook what Bi meant, he thought she was a full on Lesbian). It was her mother however she was worried about. So when she finally did, she got a less than pleasing reaction, the Queen wasn’t exactly thrilled at first, she didn’t talk to Daisy for 2 days. Which broke the King, he begged her to please say something to Daisy, he knew how much this hurt her. As strong as Daisy was, her parents opinions still mattered to her.

So when she did finally start taking to Daisy again, she came at it with a fresh pair of eyes, she has since warmed up to the idea, largely due to the help from her husband. But what finally did it for her was seeing how her daughter and Rosalina interacted, how.. happy she was.

She had never seen her daughter smile so genuinely like that, it wasn’t out of charisma, or her general cheeriness, it was out of her pure, unrivalled love she got from simply looking at Rosalina.

She turned to her husband and with a knowing look, and approached the two women, putting her hand on her daughters shoulder, she said 4 simple words, but that’s all that Daisy needed. “I like this one”.

Daisy broke down and couldn’t stop hugging her mother, she was just so happy that her mother approved. Afterwards the Queen took Rosalina’s hands in her own, looked into her eyes, simply nodded, and left, she is a women a few words after all.

Luigi and Daisy are best friends, they did date for a bit back In the earlier days, but found that they preferred to keep it a friendship. Luigi is Daisy’s favourite person in the whole world, they talk every day wether on the phone or in person, they partner up at as many events as possible, and just work very well together.

Daisy loves to work out and train, so she will always do it with Luigi, he is not a weak person but he always compares himself to others which isn’t the best habit to have. She will always be analysing new love interests of Luigi’s and will silently analyse them to see if they would be good for him or not, she never gets in the way unless necessary, as it is Luigi’s choice in the matter who would and wouldn’t be.

She will help them out though if she likes them, so like little hints on what he likes, or how to approach him, that sort of stuff. They will talk about anything and everything, they know almost everything about the other, it’s safe to say that they would trust the other with their life.

Her and Mario get along fine, altough they don't hang out as much as they would with some of their other friends, they don't hate each other's company. They have a similar sense of humour sow whenever they are together they are always cracking jokes.

They are also the support team for Luigi, Rosalina, Peach and whoever needs their charaisma and cheers. They are very competitive in sports so they will always make it their primary mission to see who gets closer to winning between the two. When one of them gets kicked out and sees the other is still in the game kicking ass they will cheer for the other.

Her and Peach have been the best of friends since childhood, and even now they are sisters-in-arms. Daisy always insists on helping out when Peach is kidnapped, she knows Mario and Luigi can handle it, but she wants to be their to help and comfort her friend at the very least, and may or may not wants to punch Bowser in the balls repeatedly.

She doesn’t hate Bowser but desperately wants to drag him too a good therapist, she does admit that she has a small soft spot for his gremlin kids, they remind her of herself when she was that age. She wouldn't admit it but she is especially close with Lemmy and Roy, she loves them to death.

__________________________________________

Princess Peach coming soon...

[doomandgloomfromthetomb]

Bob Dylan - The Power & The Glory (A 2022 Touring Year Story)

Bob Dylan kicks off another leg of the Rough and Rowdy Ways World Wide Tour this week in Osaka, Japan. Will he playing a totally revamped set? I'm guessing no, but who the hell knows? Meanwhile, I'm going to start spreading the rumor that Bob will almost certainly be releasing an album of new material in 2023. I have nothing, absolutely nothing, to back this up, but I'm just going to try to manifest it. Manifest with me, people!

To get psyched for more live Dylan, check out this very very nice compilation of audience recordings from last year's shows, gathering some highlights and rarities — like Bob's Jerry Lee Lewis tribute in Dublin or the very rowdy "Friend of the Devil" in San Francisco. And is that a little Twin Peaks theme I'm hearing inserted into "Key West" from March 6??? Prove me wrong!

Another way to get psyched: check out James Adams' new episode of the Pretty Good Stuff series on Aquarium Drunkard. This latest hour features some of Bob's finest performances in Japan from over the decades. I was particularly blown away by the 1994 rendition of "What Good Am I?" — a truly outrageous and amazing vocal on that one.

One more thing! Last year, I wrote a review of the Dylan show I caught in San Diego, which for one reason or another, was never published. Here it is, plus a recording of the show, as an incredibly special treat for you Doom & Gloomsters.

Bob Dylan - San Diego Civic Theatre, San Diego, California, June 17, 2022

You couldn’t count on much over the past 30+ years, but you could usually assume that Bob Dylan was somewhere out there, still on the road, perpetually headed for another joint. But the bewildering pandemic year of 2020 brought it all to a shuddering halt, causing the longest break in Dylan’s relentless live performance schedule since the mid-1980s. Bobcats across the globe had to ask themselves that tough question: Was the Never Ending Tour finally … ending?

Of course not. Or at least not yet. In late 2021, Dylan kicked off the Rough and Rowdy Ways World Wide Tour, which promises to stretch into 2024 — an ambitious span of time in an increasingly unpredictable decade. What keeps him going? One can only assume that, at this point, Bob doesn’t need the cash (if he ever really did). In his own eccentric way, he must still be interested in connecting with audiences, sharing his songs, reveling in the power that this music delivers. And maybe, just like the rest of us, the various COVID-19 lockdowns made Dylan a little stir-crazy.

Whatever his reasoning may be, there was a tingling sense of anticipation in the air when the lights went down at the San Diego Civic Theatre this past June. The songwriter’s advanced age (he turned 81 in May) and the still precarious nature of live shows these days makes Dylan’s continuing presence feel all the more precious. And to be sure, when you got your first glimpse of the man — looking a little frail, a tad ghostly — your first thoughts were of his (and perhaps your own) all-too-human mortality. As he sang later: “I’ve already outlived my life by far.” But Dylan refused to let us wallow. Instead, he kicked off the show with a long, occasionally shambolic, guitar solo over a sweet, bluesy shuffle. As it rambled on — and on! — you couldn’t help but grin. Never mind mortality — this Nobel Prize winner still just loves to jam.

“What’s the matter with me? I don’t have much to say,” were the first words Dylan growled this evening — the opening lines of 1971’s “Watching The River Flow.” But they were sung with a wink. As proven by his 2020 masterpiece Rough And Rowdy Ways, Dylan still has plenty to say. The San Diego setlist (which rarely changed from night to night during this spring/summer jaunt) was dominated by numbers from the album — the only tune missing was “Murder Most Foul” (which Dylan likely thinks of as a separate piece altogether). It’s a daring move. Bob has never been of the McCartney school — you’re never guaranteed to hear the hits at a Dylan show. But he hasn’t played shows so heavily tilted towards new material since the “born again” days of the late 1970s and early 1980s.

The gambit paid off. The Rough And Rowdy Ways numbers were captivating, from the hushed majesty of “I Contain Multitudes” to the deep blues crawl of “Crossing The Rubicon,” each moment filled with drama and gravitas. Dylan’s vocals sounded magnificent and clear; those Sinatra records from the last decade seem to have made him rethink his approach, with fantastic results. The sweet croon he slipped into on a ravishing “I’ve Made Up My Mind To Give Myself To You” was positively breathtaking, as he held dangerously long notes, the music breaking down beautifully behind him. On the other end of the spectrum, “My Own Version Of You” was a harrowing ride, Dylan relishing the song’s increasingly grotesque imagery. And even though the new stuff is relatively fresh from his pen, Dylan typically couldn’t help toying with an arrangement or two: “Key West (Philosopher Pirate)” was reinvented entirely with a curious chord structure and bewitching vocal that traded the studio version’s apocalyptic dread for a more open-ended playfulness.

The band here (stalwart bassist Tony Garnier, guitarists Bob Britt and Doug Lancio, multi-instrumentalist Donnie Herron and drummer Charley Drayton) deserves special credit. There was rarely a lead voice breaking out in the mix — save for Dylan’s nervous, Monk-ish piano solos. Instead, there was a cohesive collective synergy, instruments interlocking, rising and falling in unison. The result was a kind of richly textured minimalist blues rock, free of cliché, zero fat on the bone. Occasionally, Dylan would pick out a hypnotic riff and his musicians would circle it patiently, adding subtle colorings around the edges. Occasionally, they’d drop out entirely, as with the almost a capella intro to “Gotta Serve Somebody,” which gave Dylan plenty of space to play around in before the song kicked into a full-tilt boogie.

Bob’s chatter was limited to a brief but hearty band introduction towards the end, but he wasn’t entirely uncommunicative. Several times in-between songs, he’d step out from behind his upright piano, put a hand on his hip, cock his head and fix the crowd with a quizzical stare. Was he soaking in the applause? Trying to get a sense of who his audience is in 2022? Just letting us all get a good look at him? Maybe all of the above — but most of all, it seemed as though Dylan was silently asking, once again, after all these years: “How does it feel?”

[ina-nis]

I don’t remember where exactly I read it but a few days ago I saw a post or article talking about socialization and your usual advice, etc... and something was striking for me, and I noticed that was one of the common elements in all my issues with disconnection.

Yes, absolutely, I have peers and friends in several communities and I still consider these relationships superficial at best. I don’t have any close friends or close family anymore, or anyone I can trust. I see my roommates, family, doctors, therapist and any other people I see/seen regularly from a distance, the respect is mutual, but there’s not any deep connection whatsoever.

All these people exist in their contained spaces and, very, very rarely, things do bleed elsewhere.

One of the issues I’ve hit my head against the most when trying to approach people and keep a close relationship with them was the fact that I feel like I could not “seep” into their lives.

For example, I always dealt with them prioritizing their careers/jobs - understandably so, there’s bills to pay, food to buy and whatever else that costs money - and when they did have time, they were too tired to socialize. But, they did socialize with people already in their lives, their families, their partners, their friends who live nearer, and so on... so I was left with whatever else they had, with whatever energy they still had and, or course, it was not much.

This was just one example, there’s many.

I noticed and I can see now that there was always something, and the connection would never get far because I’d have to jump through so many hops to, maybe, be able to be there for them. It was not worth it because of how one-sided it always felt.

What really hurts is the fact that, because I don’t really have much going on I guess, it was not interesting enough for others to try to “seep” into my life themselves.

I felt like it was always me who had to take the first step.

I felt like it was always me who had to go there and make it happen.

Because I’m like a blank slate - it’s “easier” when you don’t have a career or a job, or friends, or family, or... anything really. You’re fluid like water, you can do anything, you can change constantly and you can fit with ease.

Obviously, that only made things one-sided.

Perhaps, I’m in this perpetual blank slate due to AvPD and the “cure” would be to become someone like them (and then I would be a blank slate no more).

The disconnection also comes from an unsaid competition against whatever other people have going on in their lives, that I have no chance of winning.

To make matters worse, being a “blank slate” isn’t exactly great after all: there’s not much for people to “seep” into - in my case, it’s a lot virtual and solitary things.

I guess I come with this neon sign saying “I do not need people in my life” that others probably catch on quickly - it’s true, I really don’t need other people - and that all might drive people away too. Either that or being in the role of a helper/therapist/mediator/teacher/parent, which is awful as well.

In the end (I feel like) my gaming buddies will remain gaming buddies, same with the Tumblr mutuals, the writing friends, the artists, the queer people in the local queer org, and so and so...there’s really not a lot I can do, I don’t think.

The relationships will exist perpetually in these enclosed spaces and won’t bleed elsewhere. When that does happen, I learn quickly that people don’t really have the time or energy to dedicate to “new” connections (even if we know each other for years).

You can move your world for them, because your world comes with you, you have no roots anywhere anyway, but they’re unable to do the same for you, you have to fit in their lives, you have to fit in their schedule, you have to be there in whatever way fits their lives best, whenever they have the energy or time.

And you can’t complain.

You can’t ask for more - if it’s so bad for you, you can just leave, meaning... there’s not really much space for you in the way you want.

It’s always the way they want.

If you ask for compromises, if you state your needs, if you disclose how your personality disorder affects you and the way you interact with others, you “need to take that to therapy” and you’re really asking too much, who has the time for that?

Who has the time for you? That’s so selfish of you! What about their needs, what about their compromises and mental illnesses?

You should make time for them, not otherwise. You have a lot of free time anyway, don’t you?

...

How frustrating...

Even though I’ve been putting a lot of effort in have more going on for me, it still happens in isolation. It’s still things that I do in solitude and require little or no money. It’s mostly things online too.

Maybe somewhere in my heart I always try to keep mindful of making space for others, despite it all...

Because to me, the relationships with other people in my life would be a priority. Not a job nor anything else: people.

That’s why I can understand why others do it this way.

And it’s what makes it all the more painful: because I’m not considered for that. I always feel like a backup plan, always feel like a convenience, always feel like an addition to something already established.

I’m never standalone, there’s never someone looking me in the eye and picking me because they want me. There’s always a catch. Of course that rarely happened, and now it never does anyway.

I don’t know what to do, but at least I managed to articulate these feelings better. I hope, maybe, something will come out of it...

[sophiaz59]

Day 1

Date: April 11th, Thursday

Event: Pitching Competition

Location: Actors Center Australia (23 Norton Street, Italian Forum, Shop 30 A Italian Forum Performance Precinct, Leichhardt NSW 2040)

Before the event, the staff of Inner West Film Festival sent us the photos of Juries for us and volunteers to be familiar. In the morning, I went to DMU for borrowing the equipment, FX30 Camera, Tripod and Rode Mic.

After we arrived, we put all the equipment, bags and personal belongings inside the staff room. Then we helped them to carry some boxes of booklets, clothes, bags and other merchandise made for film festival this year from their car at the parking area to the Actors Center, then set the booklets on the tables in the Actors Center for people who came and may be interested in those films to plan and book tickets online. After giving each of us a black T-shirt with Inner West Film Fest, we went to set up the camera and other equipment.

Before the Pitching Competition, we tried to interview some audiences and film makers (though got rejected a few times), also captured the interactive moments between people to show this is a very popular and successful event: Staffs and volunteers were working hard. People were gathering as crowds, talking and enjoying the drinks. Film makers and producers were talking, and hugged rarely.

During the Pitching Competition, I listened all the pitching and tried to remember all the pitching team while filming them from where the audiences were sitting. In the beginning of the Pitching Competition, I forgot to turn the mic on. Luckily, this will not affect much to the video of highlight of this event for social media. But this kind of situation did not happen again. After the Pitching Competition, we tried to interview all the pitching team. Though there were too many people, we just couldn’t find everyone, we tried to find them and ask if they would like to accept a short interview to talk about their films and themselves.

Hope next year's film festival will be able to provide a room for interviewing the pitching team and arrange a time schedule for this. So people can set the camera, tripod, mic and lighting better.

Inner West Film Fest 2024 Pitching Competition

WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS | Thomas Crnkovic

LYREBIRD | Beck Thompson & Isabella Andronos

PASSION POP | Chris Elena

CAMOUFLAGE AUSTRALIA | Gabriel Robinson

HOME BEFORE NIGHT | Kalani Gacon

BIRD HANDS BEAVER A FISHMINT BOUQUET | Kim Pham

THE AUSTRALIAN DREAM | Luke Agius

ECHO 8 | Maria Tran

THE LISTENING | Milena Bennett

SKIDMARK | Natalie Patterson

GOD DAMN | Noel Vinson

UNDER THE COVER | Reilly Archer-Whelan

NOBODY WITH A JOB READS THE REPUBLIC | Terry Guannan Hou

RAM | Sean McCallum

After the Pitching Competition, I was mostly interested in BIRD HANDS BEAVER A FISHMINT BOUQUET, ECHO 8 and NOBODY WITH A JOB READS THE REPUBLIC. "Pain travels through families until someone is ready to feel it" used by Kim Pham in her pitching, probably not only hits my heart, but hearts of many people with Asian family background. I felt like more and more people in Asia or have Asian background start to realize the importance of mental health and the problem with family which was rarely talked and discussed in public before. So many film makers started to make this kind of film to reveal the problem, encourage the audiences who were facing the similar situation or problem to make change or just comfort them.

About ECHO 8, the speaker, Maria Tran actually left deeper impression on me than the trailer of her film. She was really confident about herself and her films, showed her passion and ambition, convincing the listener that she knows what she is doing and she will be succeed.

NOBODY WITH A JOB READS THE REPUBLIC is quite interesting with amazing beautiful storyboard which delivers the tone of this story well. I was actually quite surprised that Terry Guannan Hou was studied economics instead of Bachelor of Visual Arts or Master of Film and Screen Arts in USYD.

Before leaving, I gave the SD cards and Tripod to the staff of Inner West Film Festival for Day 2 Opening Night.  

By the way, the drinks were really expensive.

[tobywritespoorly]

Entry 1.

[Mood: Joy or Sorrow.]

[Theme: Childhood Friend.]

I remember when I first saw the mortals. Standing on a beach staring at me as if I was a harbringer of doom. I fled them once and yet they often trapped themselves in my mind.

They filled my mind again today when I walked past the small stone buildings of their cities. A dirge echoed in the morning air and a solomn parade carried another to slumber.

Tempted as I was to follow I only watched the dark travelers ritualisticly step in time as they loaded the body into a hearse and carried it away. I had a meeting, well I guess I'd been putting it off for a few years now. It was always the hardest part these days, meeting with another. I thought again of the mortals, the idea of a meeting being scheduled and not showing up for a decade would drive them mad in some places. Busy well oiled cities like this one...it had a name I think something earthy? Their languages are very basic and complex in the strangest parts even moreso here in section or what's the term? Country? I'm never sure anymore. I did make it, my friend who'd once loved the mortals as I, now a proud formless shadow that lingers beneath this city. They were uncomfortable when they felt me, you could see it in their form. We say time has no effect on us but they were beyond out of practice. They looked ill, aged, their light and cheery voice almost felt off from their assumed form but they felt the same.

My own form was practical, neither old or young, tanned skin that gave no hint of origin. I was wholly unassuming. It was the closest I could get to them without actually interacting.

Seeing them standing there, the dark skin calling back to our first forms subconsciously aged perhaps, if we had a subconscious. Looking them over a deep pit of joy echoed as my childhood memories overcame me.

I remembered when we met, I had been so deep and alone in the sea that when I finally washed ashore I found myself overwhelmed. The world was full of us then, yet they ignored me shapeless, aphysical. They didn't have a name then, there was no concept of it. My friend helped me focus and carried me into the wooded shore saving me from mortal gazes. We attached instantly and wandered the world before we found more mortals. I mean we had seen many great creatures but these were unique. Aware, like us, and so fragile. We would chase and follow these creatures but so quickly they would age and die. So many leaving things half done before resting...I had seen death before, it's always been this dividing line between us and the plentiful creatures that we saw. It was one of the enviable traits of mortals something only rarely found by my kind. I remeber when we watched them naming things...when we took their forms for the first time and the village asked us for names...oh that was fun.

We were naive and said we didn't know afraid they would not accept us without them I began to panic but they welcomed us and named us. Lilba they called him and I Kiba. How many more memories can I ramble on here? We climbed mountains and fought wars but we always kept our distance. How many years? Decades? Centuries? Such measurements of time are inefficient. I remember when I told them how envious I felt of mortals. It was our first fight and I thought I'd never see them again. I kept the letter, addressed to Kiba. They were the only ones who knew that name.

It was a village he described in the letter but now I arrive to a greenless city. Oh how they keep growing even when pushed back.

Lilba didn't say a word as we walked into a small building the smells of food attacking my nose as we entered. Sitting in the back a plump woman appeared and began to speak in the local language I'd not taken any time to learn. Lilba ordered and smiled and as she left to fulfil his wish he spoke to me in our own way. "Traveling was short, did you get your fulfillment?" "Never fulfilled me. Rude feeling was I to delay you, missed you, me."

They nodded.

"To settle you, requests me. Join and let's purpose create and fill we. A man too long formed you."

I knew he would say this. It was a plea of some emotion neither of us had but had seen time and time again. The server sat two cups before us and left I still felt an unknown envy even for her.

"Wondered humanly decade now, me. Not with them, too afraid. If purpose is taken forever changed we."

"Exactly. If changed with purpose, then we before I. Always we."

Another memory. The form of a legless creature we had taken and slitered we had met an elder who told us about purpose and how one day we could choose one and actually have meaning in our lives. 'Always we.' We'd said. Together forever. It was then I swallowed my envy and agreed.

"Always we"

The relief could be felt even by the mortals as Lilba relaxed before me. Smiling softly they drank their tea and I realized as I pulled my own cup to my mouth, I was smiling.

[indigo474]

I called out of work today. i have the time. James rearranged our schedule this week, i have furniture coming and i have the time. I hate calling out sick for the sheer fact that i am not sick and i have to lie. I took me 3 hours to work up the courage to call. I started to feel sick- it physically pains me to lie. I wasn't always like this. in my 20's i would not have thought twice about lying. i had no problem lying to X. sometimes. now, ughh. if i know someone lied to me- we cant be friends. Like Steph- she lied and i lost all respect for her. My reps lie to me- I try not to hold it against them. I'm not trying to be friends with them and i can understand the why. Its exactly like me lying to my boss- if i told her the truth.. i wouldn't get paid for the day. The closer i get to myself- the harder it is for me to betray myself and my values. I of course am 100% positive my boss knows i was lying.

My face looks good. i'm happy with the results. no one has noticed and i wouldnt expect them too. besides the fact the everyone is soooo wrapped up in themselves- it's very subtle-i can tell for sure- but absolutely no one pays attention to anything other than themselves and their own wants/needs. i got so annoyed with someone at work the other day. she asked me when i was moving- we had this conversation- a few times. its a trigger for me- not being heard. that's why i tend to say little- who's listening anyway?

i have had this crazy thought that maybe i should train for a 1/2 marathon. i don't know. running is something i can do alone-it will keep me busy- makes me feel good. i also have been debating getting a part time job- i'm torn between what i should do-2nd job, pay off mortgage quickly-and what i want to do- spend my time off running and doing home improvements.. i only have so much time to do things and if i get a 2nd job that will take up my time. i'm sure the answers will come- they always do. I still dont know if MAdison is running with me or not- i have a feeling not. thats ok. she's struggling with herself right now. there are somethings i can not help her with.

I found myself angry last night. angry at my children over their decision not to speak to me. i rarely get angry so its a different feeling for me. I don't want to me angry at them. but sometimes .. i just can't believe.. any of it. For once in my life since i gave birth to my first born- i decided to do what was right for my soul- leave. i stayed and took care of everyones needs but my own. i guess its all complicated. people forget all the good - my kids forget all the good i did- do they? i dont know. are they still being manipulated by a psychopath? mom put herself first guys and left a very unhappy marriage..

[robinsontenea]

chapter 13

Last summer, I met this guy named Philip. He was my friend’s cousin, from Jamaica, who had to come and stay with them over the summer. Sometimes when I would go to my friend’s house, his cousin and I would speak and I’d ask him random questions about his life in Jamaica, what was his usual routines, what he liked, a general day in a life of a Jamaican, etc. I learned a lot from him speaking on his experiences and shedding light on things I never knew about Jamaica. Hearing his thoughts and opinions on America was the most interesting part of our interview.

There are people in this world that can’t see themselves build a life in America; however, there are people who see America like a rainbow with gold at the end of it. “America is the place to be, you know what I mean. Because all the opportunities that are provided to you are countless,” Philip says. There were many reasons why Philip come to America for the summer. One of the main reasons why Philip leaves Jamaica is to make money. In Jamaica, he did work study. He was enrolled in college, studying to become a “professional coder” and working in computer-programming. The exchange rate in Jamaica is very low, so their economy is doing poor resulting in having unstable sources of income. “I can work here and get paid almost seventeen dollars an hour, back at home, it was going to be about two fifty,” says Philip jokingly. Having to go to school, pay for school expenses, pay for possible home or car expenses, and just random wants was too much to juggle when the pay was too low for anyone. Another reason he leaves is to get away from the bad climate and environment down in Jamaica. I asked him was it more dangerous for him to live in America or in Jamaica and he responded Jamaica. He then explains to me that their justice system is so corrupt that you could easily pay off the police. Most people can’t walk outside late at night because you could possibly be killed with a machete for petty reasons. I knew that Jamaica had issues, but I didn’t really know the severity. When I think about Jamaica, I think about the nice clear water, the nice music, the delicious food, but certainly not crime. This made me think about how the world will portray countries as a beautiful place and block out the negative events happening during our everyday lives. 

Another reason Philip came here was to spend time with his family. I asked him would it have been harder for him to come here if he didn’t have family here. He explains to me this is his bridge to a better life. The danger and low-income status pushed him to leave Jamaica and come to America to better his chances of having more opportunities. Philip already had a passport, so. Traveling to America was easy for him. His mom paid for his flight to come here and at the end of the summer he’d pay his way back using the money he earned by working. His family is his bridge because without them, paying to stay in America to make more money would decrease his chances of success in his goals. After landing, it was hard for him to find a job but then he was hired at Island Quizine, working for fourteen dollars an hour as a cashier, scheduled to work at least 8 hours a day, with at least a day or two off out of the week.  When he isn’t working, he enjoys his time with his family, especially with his cousin. At first Philip was intimidated by his cousin, but then as they started hanging more and that built a strong relationship with them. Although his aunt rarely allowed him out the house unless to go to work, him and his cousin would hang in the backyard and just talk and smoke for hours. Spending time with his cousin was his favorite thing to do here. 

Leaving your country for anyone can be scary and hard sometimes. I personally believe that this is a courageous thing for anybody to do. One of my major concerns, if I had to move to a different country, would be me knowing if this would be good for me and if it would be good for my family. I asked Philip did he miss his family and his response was a general response, nyet surprising. “Oh of course I miss my family but seeing everyone struggle down there including me is a load. I rather leave them to chase and obtain wealth for us forever and achieve at it. My family will never have to worry about worrying about our next meal again,” he says. I believe that he was strong and adamant about knowing exactly what he wanted for his family. This interview taught me that even though life can be challenging, it doesn’t have to be hard.

[pllanarally]

CELESTIAL CORSAIRS

original post date: 10/20/22

Things are a little different in the 31st century. All that forged a normal life for those of you in the past, be it the material (capital) or the metaphysical (identity) are no longer known or have taken new meaning. Once we took to the stars, growth beyond these concepts was to be expected. Rarely do you find societies living a sedentary existence planetside like in the old days. Rather, we prefer to explore the ever-expanding universe, collecting materials from celestial objects with a conservationist’s touch. We still need each other to survive, though, so community is as important as ever – it’s rare that anyone travels alone.

Technology has played a large part in our galactic life; automation and 3D printing allow us to create anything we want, from our spaceships to the clothes on our back. We value, above all else, ingenuity – and seek out the rarest and strangest materials in the universe to create everything around us. Our creations are how we forge our ‘identity’ in this brave new universe.

Of the rarest materials, Absorbetium is the most coveted. Its unique aesthetic properties propel the bearers to stardom, making it highly sought after for social status. It’s also an incredibly powerful healing element, which is often overshadowed by its beauty.

And so we meet Danix, a kind and gentle human who captains a spaceship with his closest friends, searching for rare materials throughout the galaxy. His love, Indu, keeps him grounded in this ever expanding abyss of exploration. Though they value each others friendships, each individuals outlook and goals in life are beginning to shift. This causes unrest amongst the group.

The crew technician, Jordy, neglects his duty to do his routine inspection on the stream line capacitor. Not knowing this, Indu begins the startup sequence of the machine, it malfunctions and throws Indu to the ground. Indu is mortally wounded. The team is able to stabilize her for the time being but she will succumb to her injuries if she is not treated soon. Danix demands to know the cause of the malfunction. With the routine schedule destroyed an none of the other crew members accepting responsibility over the malfunction, Danix begins to question the trust and loyalty of his team.

To try and save Indu, the crew visits the nearest space station to put her in a hospital and find supplies – but her condition is terminal due to the compound she was exposed to. They are unable to find any medicines to help her, but they are overheard asking for help by a man named George, who emerges from the shadows to introduce himself.

“There’s one thing that can save your Indu,” he says, “Absorbetium.”

“I can help you find it,” he offers, “If you can get me off this station.”

Danix’s crew is suspicious of this lone traveler (they are rare in this universe where everyone has a crew and home), but not knowing what else to do, and frustrated with his crew, he ignores their warnings and accepts George’s help in searching for the Absorbetium.

The symbol for absorbetium was created as a map to finding the one source of the mineral in the universe; very few know this information. Over time the original meaning has been forgotten, so it is only a symbol representing it & the status symbol of ownership.

After Danix has discovered and extracted the Absorbetium, he is cornered by a rival space gang. The gang doesn’t care about Danix’s need to heal Indu, they want the Absorbetium for themselves. Their greed for fashion and status supersedes (スーパーシーズ) their empathy for others. There’s no way for everyone to come out of this unscathed. (アンスケースド) Unwilling to surrender the Absorbetium, Danix kills the rival gang and escapes with the Absorbetium.

Danix struggles with the guilt of killing other human beings to save his love. He continually wonders if there would have been another way. Noticing that Danix is occupied with his regret, George takes the opportunity to steal the Absorbetium, and escape from the ship. After realizing he has been betrayed, Danix is furious.. But out of options.

Danix returns to the space station empty handed, defeated. Hoping for a miracle to bring Indu back from near death, he is optimistic that he can find George, or another source of Absorbetium. Indu asks how he has been doing, and closes her eyes slowly as she listens to his story, which becomes their very last conversation. In Danix’s arms, Indu, still looking stunning, is now gone forever. Danix lays a flower next to Indu, thinking about how happy they were when they found this flower on Earth together last year. “I wish I could take your place,” Danix whispers.

Repulsive thoughts race through his mind. His body trembles with anger, his eyes are filled with tears. Danix cannot help but wonder: if there is no salvation, why bother being a saint?

[sockdooe]

KEITH:

wasted potential: I do believe Keith could’ve been a really good character. Now I know with his voice actor there was scheduling issues that I believe led to him being in the blades (correct me if I’m wrong). However, if blade Keith was taken out of the show and him being the black paladin was treated more differently by his teammates than I think he would’ve had such a good character arc if he actually learned to communicate and become a family with his teammates. Imagine how strong their connection would be not only to themselves but Voltron. Also if Keith was shown to be struggling more with the idea of replacing shiro to the point of only referring to himself as a temporary paladin that would’ve opened the gates for shiro again.

The popular ships for this character suck: because it’s very obvious to tell who is more favored in the ship, you can see it from a mile away. While S has some ground to it I purely see it as one sided as Keith cares so much for shiro only to drop him once he comes back to life. And KL is just extremely boring and self centered.

Overrated: DEAR GOD IS HE. I have ONLY met Keith fans and only one lance/pidge fan. He is treated like a poor little meow meow who did nothing wrong and is constantly given the upper hand to make him look cool and “badass” but it does the opposite affect of making him a Mary sue and is the least interesting character due to it.

Too much screen time: I wouldn’t be complaining if it wasn’t for the fact that the majority of his screen time he is alone or is already doing something before the other paladins. I don’t understand reversing Keith’s arc to going back to a ‘lone wolf’ while simultaneously wanting him to be THE black paladin (as if we didn’t have a perfect one already)

My opinions would be received by most fans as akin to hitting a wasps nest with a baseball bat: this activity true as once I was accused of favoriting Lance as the black paladin because I called Keith the worst option. As if the only person who can have any opinion on that is a Lance fan and not a shiro fan. (I do regret using worst but it was late at night and my whole body was shaking). I hate blade Keith. I hate it and I don’t feel sorry for that. Honestly in the later seasons he could die and I couldn’t care less about him, in all honesty I’d be cheering.

I actively dislike them: ever single friend I have here at uni knows that I hate Keith with a fury passion. I do not like him. Only in my head where he actually isn’t a bland bag of bricks do I like him.

CORAN:

They got done dirty by fans: WHERE IS HE??? It is EXTREMELY rare to see content of Coran that ISNT him being the “weird space uncle” side character of Voltron.

They got done dirty by creators: the fact that he never got to say goodbye to Allura, he starts losing his more serious scenes as the show goes on, him being sidelined. There is quite a bit.

Wasted potential: yes… so much… I wish we got to see his relationship to the previous paladins more especially Alfor and even Zarkon. I wanted to see more behind the scenes of his life and see how he personally witnessed the fall and doom of them. What his interaction was with Alfor before he died and went into the pod to watch over Allura. It’s Truely a shame that we see so little of Coran.

I WANT TO STUDY THEM LIKE A COCKROACH: I mean look at the previous one. The ways I could study this man and talk about what it means to witness the demise and tragedy of having two generations of hero’s. Especially if the second one has to deal with 10,000 years of “war” and they’re only young adults. Not even experienced in war or fighting. Away from their families. How much would that haunt him? Does he look into their eyes and see his own regrets? God I could only imagine.

not enough screen time: he doesn’t even say goodbye to Allura. I think that shows exactly how much they pay attention to Coran.

HUNK:

I’m obsessed with their character arc: the Balmera episode is so good. It’s one of the rare episodes that actually focus on hunk and my god does it do such a great job of allowing him to grow and realize what generations of war will do. Hunk truly is just such a wonderful character who has a lot of heart and is extremely smart.

They got done dirty by fans: I have only seen hunk respected his own fans. Everyone else just puts him with lance. Or just as the really anxious guy who loves food.

They got done dirty by creators: WHY DOES THE BALMERA EPSIODE REPEAT AGAIN IN LIKE season 7-8(?). Hunks whole character becomes less about being an engineer which is WHY he’s even in garrison to be and instead he becomes Gordon Ramsey. I am so god dam disappointed that we didn’t get to see why hunk was in garrison, what lead him there, why he’s so into engineering. Instead they give it to pidge for some reason, I thought their whole dynamic was that pidge codes and hunk builds!!! Why is pidge doing both now??? I don’t get it!!!!

Wasted potential: HE COULDVE BEEN THE GLUE/ROCK OF VOLTRON. HUNKS WHOLE CHARACTER IS THAT HE ISNT AFRAID TO SPEAK HIS MIND AND SHOW HIS FEAR AND STRESS. he could be showing the others that it’s ok to feel what they feel!!! Could you imagine hunk and shiro having a bonding moment like this??? Where Shiro trusts hunk enough to cry in his shoulder to let it all out???? THEY WOULD WORK SO WELL FOR EACHITHER AND NOT JUST THEM BJT ALL THE OTHER CHARACTERS AS WELL. hunk isn’t afraid of saying what’s true!!!

ADOPTION PAPERS: maybe not adopting but definitely friending.

I am constantly going insane rotating them in my brain like a fork in the microwave: I-look at my answers.

They work better as part of a dynamic: Lance and hunk being the legs of Voltron. Aka the supports of Voltron. Aka the metaphor of how legs work. How they stabilize us, how they grant us to move, how they take us to places unfamiliar to us, how they push us to be better. How legs are the foundation of our bodies. How everything is built on top.

Even though I don’t like how fans treat hunk and just a Lance side. This is where they are both contributing. Lance and hunk would be such a better dynamic if the focus was on how these two could bring the rest of the paladins together. They are the most charismatic of the group, the most talkative, open, and are extremely reliable as they’re both supporting the rest of the team.

Lance is the sniper and watches the others backs while hunk is the defensive with his massive machine gun.

Not enough screen time: specifically with anyone who isn’t pidge. I mean as the seasons go one we even start seeing him with Lance less who is his best friend.

They’ve never done anything wrong in their life <3: so true <333

ALLURA:

I’m obsessed with their character arc: ok I’m going to be honest and say I forgot a lot of allura arc. But I think if my own arc for her than I do the shows.

They got done dirty by fans: WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PEOPLE HATING ON ALLURA FOR. And you know they’re all KL just because their ship that wasn’t ever going to be canon didn’t happen. So they started blaming Allura and hating on her just because of it. And the whole “Allura was racist to Keith” bullshit is just a load of garbage. I’m sorry that her entire family, home, SOLAR SYSTEM (because Zarkon also destroyed the neighboring planets people) was DESTROYED and she’s the only Altean (along with Coran) to survive a genocide. Keith being galra sure isn’t his choice but guess what. Zarkon before was someone Allura knew and trusted just like her father did. She is going to be mad and not trust Keith because of it.

Also are we seriously calling the only black woman of the show a racist to the one able bodied white man.

They got done dirty by creators: they killed her off. They made a different reality to try to prove that “anyone” could’ve been evil. Even though Alteans are known for their peace.

Wasted potential: The killing her off was just UGH.

I am constantly going insane rotating them in my brain like a fork in the microwave: I have my own rework going on and let’s just say… Allura has a lot to her character… 🦁 🤍

What’s wrong with them (affectionately): she’s so weird to me <3

They’ve never done anything wrong in their life <3: <333333

THERE IS PROBABLY SO MANY GRAMMER MISTAKES IM SO SORRY!!!! I hope they all still make sense !!!!!

@sockdooe, as it appears your askbox isn't open, for the Character Opinion Bingo, I would love to see your thoughts on Allura, Hunk, Coran, and Keith, if you don't mind. ^///^

[ask-the-clergy-bc]

So, since ghouls can be summoned anywhere, what's the experience like for the ghoul themselves?

Because I always make myself laugh at the thought of a ghoul just lounging around in the Clergy, then suddenly they feel The Summoning™ and a void appears, sucks them in and spats them out in the middle of a corn field with some random cult LOL or is it more of a, "Hey guys, guess who's being summoned right now? 🤪✌🏼" and they have more control on if they want to fulfill the summoning or not?

LMAOOOOOOOOO!! I can't even begin to imagine how confused everyone would be!! Because I can also imagine it being one of the band ghouls and having to call Copia in the middle of no where.

"Please come get me, there's corn everywhere..."

But I'm always happy to talk about Ghoul Geographic!! <3

Also Quick Content Warning for Physical Pain and Misplaced Ghoul Kits

Ghouls During Summoning

~Typical Clergy Sanctioned Summons (there is an important distinction) are always scheduled and based on need. Summonings are difficult both for the summoners and the ghoul being brought to Earth. Lucifer will reach out to the acting Papa or Ministry if there needs to be a SPECIFIC powerful ghoul in Hell He wants brought up. And a sanctioned summon is a VERY different experience from a summon that isn't authorized or performed by amateurs.

~From Hell, a ghoul can always tell when they are being summoned. Days leading up to it (Hell time is MUCH different than Earth time) a ghoul will feel restless. Not able to shake off the feeling that change is on the wind. But when it finally happens and the magics start to pull them, the ghoul will immediately recognize it. The call of their Dark Lord for something greater. To most it's like the mixture of purpose and overwhelming fear that tugs at every fiber of their being from mind to soul, ready to pluck them from their lives in Hell. It's an unmistakable NEED to answer it.

~A ghoul ALWAYS has the choice to not answer the call of the Clergy, but it's rare that a chosen ghoul would be one who is unwilling. Lucifer tends to pick his willing servants. In most ghoul tribes it's considered an Honor to be strong or skilled enough to be needed. So most are happy to go, albeit many reluctantly. Ghouls who don't want to go can dissipate the summoning magic with their own element. Usually as just a reflex from the ghoul to protect themselves rather than necessary.

~Physically, the ghoul will be consumed by both Hellish energies AND their own element. Imagine sitting next to your friend and suddenly the wing picks up and winds around them. Then you see bursts of color and shimmer surround them followed by them catching on fire and then suddenly disappearing. That's pretty much what other ghouls see during a summoning.

~Many ghouls have described the actual travel as off putting and strange. Like being pulled around like taffy but without the pain. Well, until the ghoul reaches through the metaphysical barrier that connects Earth to Hell. Then it's described as being painful. Brief moments of every cell in your body being both on fire and frozen as you are restructured into a new physical being. It eventually passes and the ghoul has to feel the weight of their summoning circle and bizarre new creatures who babble at them.

~Many ghouls also report a bit of a shock after being summoned because Earth FEELS fundamentally different than Hell in so many ways. Many are cut off from the main source of their power, so feel like they are wearing kit gloves all the time. That, and gravity seems lighter here. Others find it equally overwhelming because their senses are almost SHARPER on Earth. So the noises and lights are suddenly intense all the time.

~Unfortunately, you do get outside cults who steal summoning magic (though rare), AND you can get ministry members who get too big for their britches and think they can summon a ghoul by themselves. This is incredibly dangerous for both the summoner AND the ghoul, which is why it's so forbidden and harshly punished. What's worse this either can result in an angry and possibly injured ghoul being summoned against their will... or a ghoul kit being summoned because the summoner is not strong enough for an adult. Again, VERY HARSH PUNISHENTS for this- even more so if you are a clergy member.

~It's possible for a ghoul to be summoned to a different part of the Earth, but incredibly unnecessary. But then again, humans can also be 'summoned' if they have the right ties or loyalties. A same plane summoning might be attempted if the ghoul is missing or thought to be captured- but that has it's own risks.