#ive got many thoughts about these two

[enderham]

"I dreamt that you died." Aventurine says, apropos of nothing.

Veritas lifts his gaze from the book he'd been reading, across the first class cabin they're sharing, and to his colleague. Nothing in his expression betrays any emotion or thought about the statement he let out into the world, as is customary for the gambler. Veritas takes a moment to study him more thoroughly.

Aventurine isn't looking at him. The chip in his hand is dancing faster than usual, he's wearing his tinted glasses despite there being no need for them on the transport, and his other hand is hidden in his coat. Veritas has learned to look for that left hand whenever he suspects something is amiss with Aventurine.

He considers his next words carefully. "In many cultures across the galaxy, dreaming of someone's death is believed to produce the opposite effect. It is considered a good omen that brings longevity and prosperity."

There's a long moment of silence, then the chip suddenly stops. Aventurine had been looking at him from the corner of his eye, an indicator that he was listening as Veritas spoke, but he looks away again now.

"Not in mine," He says lightly, almost sings it.

It sounds like mockery, like Aventurine's typical attempts to get a rise out of him, like contradiction for the sake of it, but Veritas knows him better than that. The gambler may seem frivolous on the surface but he always speaks with purpose. The trick is figuring out what that purpose is.

Closing his book, Veritas leans forward, almost into Aventurine's space. The other does not lean away, and finally looks him in the eye, but he can see his shoulders are tense. His left hand is still hidden in his coat. Perhaps, instead of a non-sequitor, his opening statement was a damning admission, Veritas thinks.

"We both know this upcoming mission will be dangerous." He says quietly, he doesn't expect Aventurine to interject, but he pauses anyway. True to expectation, Aventurine stays silent, watching him intently. Veritas continues. "However, we also both know that your role in it is much more perilous than mine. I believe you made sure of that yourself, no?"

The gambler still remains uncharacteristically silent. Gauging Veritas' reaction to his grim statements no doubt. Veritas has passed many a test in his university days with little stress, so it is a new feeling to experience, this uncertainty. He feels like there is a right and a wrong thing to say in this situation, yet he does not know exactly what it is.

"It is my opinion that you should be worrying about yourself, gambler, instead of me, but if it eases your mind, I shall promise to stay alert on Penacony. Not that I wouldn't otherwise be, as you should well know by now."

Perhaps he's revealed too much, shown his hand, as the resident gambler would say, but he's found himself much too invested in said gambler's emotional wellbeing as of late, so he doesn't mind. Especially as that wary glint fades just a little from Aventurine's vibrant eyes, and he wrestles his signature grin back onto his face.

"True to form as usual." He teases. "I can always rely on you to bring rationality to the table, Doctor."

[al-luviec]

juvie buddies

[seaweedstarshine]

“They engineered a psychopath to kill you.” “Totally married her. I'd never have made it here alive without River Song.”

Sources: Let's Kill Hitler, Diary of River Song: My Dinner With Andrew, Closing Time, The Husbands of River Song, Diary of River Song: The Furies, Diary of River Song: Animal Instinct, The Ruby's Curse, Time of the Doctor

[palossssssand]

Reconciliation

Old dome squadmates Trito and Kinoga get together at Trito’s place to catch up after years apart and a meeting by chance on the surface.

⚠️Warning for suggestive content below + implied chest trauma

After several weeks of chipping away at this, the comic is finally done! Very happy to have rendered a full 7 pages of oc stuff. Please give it a read!!

read the full 7 page comic on twitter! <-please do not click if you are a minor and view at your own discretion, this link contains explicit 18+ content. Thank you!

For the lore, includes stuff from splatoon Octo Expansion: Trito and Kinoga were a part of an octarian military squad living in the domes, Kinoga being their squad leader that many looked up to and admired. There were 6 of them who considered each other to be their closest friends. Upon hearing about the tests from Kamabo Co. and the allure of the Promised Land, Kinoga wished to seek it out in order to find a better life for their squadmates. A difficult decision, since it meant leaving them all behind, promising to come back and take them there.

Kinoga enters the metro trials and soon realizes that the Promised Land isn’t what they expected, their hope crumbling when they encounter one of their sanitized squadmates Agara, who followed suit to the metros soon after. Kinoga narrowly escapes, eventually making a break for the surface, carrying the shame of unwilling to return for their squadmates with them (it’s justified, of course, there might not be an easy way in, they might get caught again, Agara is gone)

Trito enters the Metro not too long after Kinoga does, wanting to catch up to them, and an accident that occurs in a test early on results in Trito’s near sanitization, giving him his scar. Terrified, and realizing what happens to his fellow octolings, Trito is unable to return to his squadmates, not wanting to break the news of their loved ones’ untimely fates. He hides away on the Metro until the events of OE happen and Agent 8 dismantles Kamabo, opening an opportunity to escape to the surface. Unwilling to face the possibilities of going back, Trito takes his chance to leave, starting a new life and feeling that it’s for the best if he doesn’t acknowledge it, though he missed his friends dearly.

Years later, Trito and Kinoga run into each other on the streets of Splatsville by chance, and the implications of them both being on the surface and alive hit them, having to carry the burden of leaving their loved ones behind and finding out the truth, knowing the other felt exactly the same, not knowing the fate of their squadmates and not wanting to think about the possibility of them being gone. They have a tearful reunion about it, and set up a meet later, to sit down and really talk, and get into a brief argument when the topic of returning to the domes comes up. Trito’s in disbelief that Kinoga never went back down to check on the rest of their squad, wanting them to have been a better person than him, who was too cowardly to do so. Eventually they do reconcile, and end up at Trito’s place to hook up, where the above comic takes place :]

[easy-revenge]

my brain at 3am after a long day of hyperfixating on Whatever New Thing, going back to the same two characters and the exact same thoughts about them ive been having for the past several years and am clearly very normal about:

[jamiethebeeart]

Sketches

[gayspock]

not to sound like a cunt but i swear like 2 jokes about something will get passed around and then a load of dipshits will start twisting that everyone is so Utterly Vacuous... god forbid if every post you post to your tumblr blog is not an indepth reflection of your thoughts and feelings. for your tumblr blog is reflective of your Inner mind and soul and you must summon yourself to the Calling of crafting the most perfect and eloquent analysis of the video essay that dropped 2 fucking days ago .

[brutal-nemesis]

An All Organ-ic Buffet

Okay well. This is in one of @galaxywhump and I’s 120 AUs I gutted (hehe) the context you don’t need it besides the fact that this Castys hasn’t ever really been tortured before so he’s not as used to all of this as he would be in canon <3 sucks to suck, dumbass

Castys Masterlist

Ingredients: gore. so much gore. also Castys gets eaten (but it’s a monster so not really cannibalism), a little noncon touching, there is a snake, the rib crowbar shit that i was born to write (❁´◡`❁)

This was going to suck absolute balls, wasn’t it? It was going to be worth it, it was, but it was still going to suck balls. 

The phaitenri lived pretty far from, well, anything, which was probably for the best given its…unique diet. Which was really the only thing that made Castys certain he could strike a good deal with it at all, honestly. 

Having arrived at the caves where the phaitenri made its home, Castys ran through the list of things to say and not say in his head before steeling himself and knocking on the door. A few tense moments passed before it opened, and Castys did his best not to flinch at the sight of the phaitenri. They were annoyingly tall, towering over Castys, bleached-white skin webbed with black cracks, their red eyes boring into him. Most notable, though, were the golden antlers sprouting from their head. What Castys had come for.

“I’ve come here to make a contract with you,” Castys blurted, the promise of a contract protecting him from being outright attacked. The phaitenri’s eyes narrowed, slitted pupils contracting in their different-colored irises.

“Fine,” they growled, their clawed hand curling around the doorframe, “which organs are you willing to part with?”

“Uh…all of them? As many as you want for six inches of antler.” 

They cocked their head. “All…you can’t form a contract for anyone but yourself, human. Do you intend to die for this?”

“Well, see, that’s the thing, I am, uh, what the kids call…immortal. So if you kill me everything’ll just grow back. Seriously, you can have as many organs as you want from me.” The trade was starting to sound more and more horrific as Castys talked, actually saying it out loud, but what could he do? This was the only way to save Berkeley. He had to do this.

The phaitenri crossed their arms, tapping their fingers as they leaned against the doorframe. “How do I know you’re not lying? Give me a demonstration.”

“I will not. At least, not until the contract’s formed.” The phaitenri glared at him. “What? Dying leaves me basically defenseless, I’m not just gonna let you kill me and then take me prisoner, ya know? Look,” he sighed, “if I’m lying, and I enter the contract with you, I’d just die, yeah? The contract would be dissolved, and you wouldn’t be out anything. There’s no reason to refuse.”

After considering it for a moment, the phaitenri straightened, gesturing for him to enter. “Alright, human, I’ll form a contract with you, so let’s negotiate.” Castys followed them inside, slightly relieved that they weren’t just going to dismiss him outright. “I’m Aleph, by the way.” That was a good sign, too, that they told him their name, since it meant that they were very interested in forming a contract with him.

“Castys,” he replied, showing his interest right back. They smiled at him, displaying their wicked-sharp teeth, teeth that would soon be…mmphf, don’t think about that right now. Think about Berkeley. He was doing this for Berkeley.

Aleph sat down at a mostly-empty desk, gesturing for Castys to sit across from them. He did, and it felt…weird, like he was getting ready to discuss a bank loan or something stupid and not, like, having his organs eaten by a monster so he could get a potion ingredient to save his best friend’s life. After thinking a bit, Aleph spoke up, “For six inches of antler, I’ll have you for…two weeks. I can eat as much as I want during that time.”

“Two wee-I don’t have that kind of time! I need to-” Castys stopped, sighing. “One week. That’s the longest I’ll give you.”

Aleph hummed, rocking their head back and forth. “How about…one week, and I can eat as much as I want as well as taking extras and storing them.”

That hardly seemed fair, but…Castys didn’t want to negotiate much more. Typically, the longer talks went on, the greedier phaitenris got. It was usually best to take the second option offered, so… “Alright. One week of unlimited access for six inches of antler.”

“Deal!” Aleph clapped their hands together, grabbing a sheet of parchment and writing down the terms. They signed their name before pricking their thumb and stamping on a thumbprint of their black blood, handing it to Castys when they were done. He took it, reading it over thoroughly, making sure they didn’t sneak in any fine print, before preparing to do the same. “Wait!” Aleph stopped him just as he was about to sign. “Take off your shirt.”

“Huh? Why-”

“The moment you sign that, magic chains are going to appear on your wrists until you’ve served your part of the contract, and even I won’t be able to get them off without dissolving it entirely. And since I’m going to need access to your torso…either take it off now or I’ll have to cut it off later.”

“Oh. Good call.” Castys was glad Aleph had spoken up since he was wearing one of Berkeley’s shirts, and he’d feel bad if it got destroyed. He pulled it off, Aleph’s hungry gaze sending a slight chill up his spine. “Thanks.” Taking a deep breath, Castys picked up the contract again, signing his name and pricking his thumb. The moment his thumb stamped on the parchment, iron manacles appeared on his wrists, just as Aleph had said. The chain between them was long enough that it wouldn’t be a huge inconvenience, but he was still chained, the inescapable reality of the contract heavy around his wrists.

“Well, let’s get started!” Aleph said, giddy as they took the contract from Castys and put it away. Once that was done, they reached out and hooked their finger around the chain between his wrists, dragging him along behind them. They pulled him into a room that was, well…it was pretty clear what kind of things happened here.

The walls were dark, definitely covered with bloodstains, because of course, and the floor was too, even though there was a drain in the middle of it, so clearly things could be cleaned up if Aleph wanted to. There was a table to one side, also bloodstained, with restraints, which wasn’t surprising in the slightest, but the sight of it still made Castys’s stomach turn. Aleph half-pulled him towards it, but then stopped and half-pulled him towards a comfortable-looking and somehow not bloodstained armchair, but then stopped again, rocking back and forth on their heels.

“Oh mannn, I just don’t know,” they whined, looking down at Castys. After a few more seconds, they bent and scooped him off of his feet faster than he could react, holding him in a bridal carry. “I just don’t know where I want to start with you, you know? There’s so many options…” They were looking him up and down, hugging him close to their chest, their bare skin freezing against his. Castys was tempted to make a suggestion so they’d put him down, but he didn’t really know if there was anywhere he wanted them to, ah, start more than somewhere else.

“Oh, I think I’ll start with your tummy. It’s been a while since I’ve had intestines!” Aleph carried him over to the armchair, settling into it comfortably, shifting their hold on Castys so he was sitting on their lap with his back against their chest, and he couldn’t help but shiver despite his efforts to stay still. Sure, he absolutely didn’t want to be sitting on their lap like this, but he was under a contract now, and he was going to serve his side of it as well as he could so this whole nightmare could proceed as smoothly as something like this ever could.

They twisted the chain attached to his wrists in one hand, pulling up and holding his arms off to the side and out of the way, their other hand teasing the surface of his bare stomach, claws scraping his skin lightly. Just as he was about to yell at them to just do it already, to stop driving up the anticipation, their claws turned inward, plunging into his flesh. Castys screamed at the sudden pain, head arching back against Aleph’s shoulder, eyes wide. They grabbed ahold of something and pulled, tearing the gash in his stomach open wider, and, no, no, he couldn’t look, didn’t want to look, he was already stuck feeling the awful pull at his insides, something sliding out of him through the hole in his abdomen, and the noises, the wet slipping, tearing, sucking, biting, swallowing, Aleph’s hums of pleasure, and their hand just kept going back in, pulling out more and more and more, and he didn’t know how much was left, how much he’d had at the start, but his ears were ringing now, vision fading, t-there was so much blood, it was so hot on his stomach and got colder as it dripped down, leaving him shivering and shuddering against Aleph, their tight grip on him never relaxing, pressing him into their chest, feeling his every twitch, and he couldn’t take it, he wanted to worm out of their grasp and run away, escape this awful, awful moment, but he had to be still, he had to let this happen, had to endure this for Berkeley’s sake, he couldn’t give up now, not when they’d just started, he had to do this, even as something squirted out and landed on his face, even as the ringing got so loud it drowned out the sounds of Aleph eating, even as he got so dizzy he wasn’t sure if they were even holding him anymore, e-even as-as…he was empty inside now, wasn’t he? So that was it then. It was. 

It was.

When Castys came to, he was still on Aleph’s lap, still covered in blood, but his stomach was…no, something felt…wrong. Aleph was giving him a look that he could only call concerningly fascinated. Henceforth, he was very concerned as he looked down to see…ah. Well that was. That was new. That sure was new.

His whole torso was all bloody, and that was expected. Aleph’s hand was resting on his chest, arm drenched in red, little strings of ripped flesh clinging to the surface of their skin, and that was expected. What wasn’t expected were the twisted ropes of intestine erupting from the unbroken skin of his stomach. There wasn’t any pain, everything healed up after he’d died, just the strange, disturbing sensation of…this. 

“This is so fun, look at you!” They grabbed the coils of his intestines, tugging at them gently as they examined them, causing him to wince. “You came back to life just like you said you would, and this makes it so much more interesting. I wasn’t planning on eating any more quite yet, but I feel like just leaving this out here would be a waste…If I kill you again, will that fix it?”

Castys gulped. “I, uh, I think so? This has never happened before, so I think as long as everything’s, um, inside when I die, it should be okay.” 

“Alright. I’ll try to be more careful in the future.” Aleph ruffled his hair with their bloody, gore streaked hand, much to Castys’s dismay. He didn’t mind getting dirty, but having his own blood and guts in his hair was a bit much, even for him. “Sorry, I sorta did that without thinking. I’ll let you get cleaned up after I finish here.” They grabbed the intestines hanging out of his stomach, and Castys winced, looking away as they began eating once more, thankfully not with as much voracity as before, but them going slower was almost…worse, in a way. He wasn’t as distracted by the chaos and the pain and the blood, and he could tell just how much Aleph was…enjoying this. 

But it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter how he felt, what he was going through. It only mattered that he was going to save Berkeley. That made all of this worth it. It was just one week. He could handle it. For Berkeley.

He grew used to it soon enough, or at least as used to having your organs ripped out and eaten as a guy could get. Aleph had two large meals a day, one midmorning and one early evening, but they took plenty in between to save for later, so he spent most of the day sliced open and bleeding. Really, it took so much scrubbing to get the layers of dried blood caked onto his skin off each night, but Aleph insisted he wash off, and, honestly, he felt gross enough that he actually wanted to, which was saying something. Wearing his red swim trunks here had been the best decision he’d ever made, since they cleaned off pretty well. He probably wouldn’t be too traumatized by all this to wear them again. Probably.

Probably.

He was lying on the table this time, the chain on his wrists secured to some hook or something above his head. His ankles and hips were strapped down, too, but the worst was the one around his fucking neck.

“Sorry, it’s just that I can’t exactly strap down your chest, so this is the best way to keep you still. Try not to choke?” 

“I’ll do my best,” Castys sighed, wincing slightly as he swallowed under the tight leather strap. 

Aleph giggled. “Before we get started, I think we’re going to need my friend’s help with this one.” They stepped away for a moment, and when they returned they were holding…a snake? A big, shiny, purple snake. They held it up proudly. “This is my familiar, Ileum! She’s a real sweetheart, but her venom makes blood clot more quickly, so she’s going to give you a little bite so you don’t die before I’m done with this, okay?”

Castys swallowed, glad this was happening to him, who liked snakes, and not Berkeley. “Uh, okay.” He really didn’t like where this was going if whatever bullshit they were gonna do required him to stay alive longer than a person should, but what could he do? 

Aleph lowered Ileum until she was next to his upper arm, which was also very close to his face. They tapped his bicep. “Right here, girl!” Ileum stared at him for a moment, unblinking, before striking, fangs sinking in and out of his arm so fast it might as well have been an injection. He still flinched, his arm throbbing like he’d been stabbed with a nail. “Good girl,” Aleph cooed, stroking their snake’s head before setting her down on the ground. Shit, had Ileum just been wandering around the whole time he’d been here? He was surprised he’d never seen her. But whatever, he had more important things to focus on right now. Like the fact that he was probably about to get ripped open and gutted like a fish.

Aleph placed a hand on his chest, taking a moment to feel his heartbeat. While Castys didn’t exactly enjoy the feeling of them touching him, he savored his last few moments of not really being in pain before-ah, uh huh, there it was, claws digging into his flesh, tearing away the layer of skin and muscle over the left half of his rib cage. Castys had seen his ribs a lot in the past few days. They looked how you would expect them to look. Rib-y. Aleph wormed a motherfucking crowbar under one of them, and at that moment Castys decided to stare at the bloodstains on the ceiling. Given where he was lying, it was pretty easy to imagine how those got there, all humans ever did in this room was bleed and scream and-

CRACK

The sound was short, loud, sharp, piercing, nestled in his ears, stabbing through his skull, the nonexistent echoes nearly drowning out the sound of the cries humming in his throat, the leather tight over his neck making him all-too aware of them.

There was pain, too, of course there was pain, sharp and bright and suffocating, and now there was pressure again, the next rib being strained until it snapped, causing him to jerk against the straps, and it was all he could do to keep breathing as his vision started to darken, but unconsciousness wasn’t coming for him, no, just a haze of dizziness punctuated by the loud snap of his bones breaking, all the pain blending together until it was all unrecognizable and painful and awful and very very painful-

“Aw, come on, Castys, look at this!” Aleph’s hand curled in his hair, jerking his head up, pressing his throat into the strap over it so hard he could barely breathe. They tore through a thin film over his organs with a claw like they were unwrapping a Christmas present before carefully pawing his lung aside, better exposing his beating heart. Castys had never seen his heart before, or planned on seeing it, or wanted to see it, but there it was, stupidly still beating even after all of this. “It’s so cool to see it going like that, huh?” Castys let out a choked gasp in response, and that seemed to be enough for Aleph, who let go of his hair, his head thunking back against the table. “I’m gonna drink from it!”

Castys didn’t really register what that meant until they were on top of him, straddling his waist, tossing away the last few pieces of splintered bone before lowering their mouth to his heart, giggling as its frantic beats brushed against their lips.

And then gently, tenderly, they bit down.

Thump thump

Their teeth only went in a little, not enough to kill, as much as Castys wished they would.

Thump thump thump thump

They sat like that for a moment, the throbbing muscle massaging their tongue, fresh, hot blood gushing directly into their mouth.

Thump thump thumpthump

Castys only now started screaming, but not because he could feel anything.

Thumpthumpthumpthumpthu-

He didn’t notice the pain anymore, really.

ThumptHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUM-

There was only the figure crouched on top of him, their face in his chest cavity.

ThUMPthUMPThuMptHumPthUMPTHuMpTHUmpTHuptH-

He was so, so grateful when they bit down harder and everything cut to black.

Somehow, he woke up without any noticeable fuckery going on with his ribs, which was cool. Aleph was sitting up now, a mass of…oh, it was the remnants of his heart still in their hand. They must have torn it out before his chest closed up, meaning the one beating inside him now was…not the one he’d been born with. A drop of fresh blood fell from the ceiling and landed on his face, and he switched to gazing at the new constellations he’d added up there while Aleph finished eating. 

That had definitely been one of the worst Anythings of his life, but if he had to do it again for Berkeley’s sake, he would.

 In a heartbeat.

Castys Cult: @as-a-matter-of-whump​ @blackrosesandwhump​ @fanmanga1357-blog​​ @thehopelessopus​ @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi​ @hearse-song​ @muddy-swamp-bitch @whumpasaurus101 @yet-another-heathen​​ @galaxywhump​ @starnight-whump​ @his-unspoken-words​ @misspelledwitch​ @suspicious-whumping-egg​ @pumpkin-spice-whump​ @painsandconfusion​ @i-can-even-burn-salad​​ @befuddled-calico-whump​ @whumpinggrounds​ @whump-queen​

[anythingbyadriannelenker]

i did it. i completed my annotated bibliography. it only took 3 days and 30+ mental damage points. onwards and upwards folks

[theokusgallery]

I freaking love your au and your latest comic because MAN

I FELT THOSE LAST WORDS AND I WAS LIKE "OH FUCK"

First panel was already a bit unsettling itself - like you get it's just intimate manners as you do as a couple but he felt so possessive already and

Sunny's inner thoughts

I'm sure 100% his abandonment anxiety will increase drastically the more he stays with nick and honestly slay

I mean it's kinda obvious

But like I felt that

Yeah

Nick is unhinged

Nick is crazy

Y'all are gay for him

Good 😵💥

Sunny has soooo many issues. So many of them. He's so vulnerable and he makes himself vulnerable to Nick while still being intimidated by him, it's... Dude's got some problems.

[sollucets]

i IMMEDIATELY thought of you when pda ray showed up like yes this is exactly what rowan said. how does it feel to have the biggest brain in the universe?

hi mona i'm going to be so real with you,, i imagine those minutes between ray saying the symptoms of his addiction are hugs and kisses and seeing sand talking to ray's dad were, in fact, what it feels like to have the biggest brain in the universe, but i could not tell you what that feels like anymore. i dont remember. call back in three business years

[fishfingersandjellybabies]

What warrents you blocking someone?

honestly, it can be as minuscule as I'm in a bad mood that day and didn't like something that person posted, or it rubbed me the wrong way.

I've blocked people for reblogging my posts and I don't like the tags they put on it 😅. But really I've just come to the point of if it doesn't fit the online experience I want, be it a differing opinion, I didn't like their post, or they're bullying others in fandom who don't like what they do, or they start being nasty to other who like things they believe is 'problematic', I block them out of my space/what I see.

It's never personal, and almost always on a whim. but if my brain says 'nope, don't like that' I whoosh it away permanently. That's all. I block and I have never looked at my list of blocked accounts. Couldn't even tell you how many there are.

However, if this is specifically - and weirdly - the person I blocked earlier today - I didn't like your opinion/interpretation of 'canon' events, I didn't like how you said it, and I didn't like how you were basically talking down to anyone who interpreted/enjoyed that trope differently than you/acting like your opinion is actual canon/gospel. I also didn't like that you were like...smothering the damian wayne tag. You were posting too much in too short of a time for my tastes.

(also if this IS the person I blocked earlier - I find it weird that you apparently looked me up to see that you were blocked? The timing today was just too coincidental 😅)

[gibbearish]

are we really back to "oh you support (blank)? name ten people who (do/are) that right now or else youre lying for allyship points and everything you have to say should be disregarded". i thought we left that back in like. 2012 misogynist nerdbro culture

[britneyshakespeare]

last night i started rereading david copperfield. i've read so much new literature this year, i wouldn't say im "burnt out" but i feel like im cycling through things so fast that i... i dont know. i dont feel like i get to have them melt into me as satisfyingly as they used to although that might also be a product of how i feel about my overall *life* right now, idk. deep stuff but anyway.

i havent read a novel in almost four years. i have been too ashamed to pick them back up and i left off in the middle of the professor by charlotte bronte, which i always felt ashamed for being unable to finish. someday ill reread the beginning and finish it, but yadda yadda yadda i hate that nagging feeling that i HAVE to do something. reading should not feel like a chore. which is also how ive felt about my reading plays at such a quick rate this year. not that its a CHORE, like im not enjoying it, but like it's a daily task im distracting myself with to get some temporary pleasure and im cycling from one to the next at an almost monotonous rate. i can't keep living in my imagination like this. hiding from the world and pouring myself into new ones.

i always figured id want to reread david copperfield someday, too. it's one of my three favorite novels ive ever read (not that ive read SO many novels, but still). i think of it often. and i dont think of it like it's a highly literary or intellectual novel. i think of it like an old sitcom or a newspaper strip. like a victorian peanuts or full house. i've never forgotten a bunch of the characters' catchphrases and i've continued to slip them into conversation with people who don't understand them just to overly-explain a joke that only i'm really going to find funny. because that IS the kind of person i am.

ive only read the first four chapters so far. i just cant wait to get to aunt betsey's place, to be honest. i didn't even think about this part... this is the first novel i'm reading since i became an aunt. i never had a character in the book i related to *too* much; i had certain things in common with dora and i loved her, but we weren't one and the same. but my niece is only two and a half months old and i already feel like oh yeah. oh yeah i'd take this little girl in after she ran away from her abusive boarding school. i'd provide for this girl. i'd raise her with my neurodivergent friend that i live with. i would do ANYTHING for her.

[zannolin]

Mia Winters 🤝 Ashley Graham

Being too amazing for people to comprehend.

:)

maybe some people...but the real ones get it.

genuinely it's so wild to me as someone who got into resident evil without ever really being exposed to the fandom beforehand and watched playthroughs/learned stuff while very isolated from it and am Just Now getting into the fandom and fan-content to see how like. widely hated they are? because, what, they don't like ashley's game mechanic and a bunch of people can't seem to comprehend the way the ethan is molded and mia knew reveal is supposed to totally recontextualize what we see of her behavior in village? um....okay lol.

and here is where i started typing out an entire rant about why it makes zero sense to me that people hate on mia so much despite the fact that she is pointedly not written as the villain of the games and ethan clearly loves her a lot and she clearly loves him a lot, but then backspaced it all because actually if i go down that road i will never stop. one day i'll do an art stream again where i just sit and rant for 2 hours about it. just know: i think about this so much and it makes absolutely Zero sense to me why people hate mia when she's such an easy to understand and CLEARLY sympathetically written character. RRRRR.

and then ppl who hate ashley bc she's "whiny" and "helpless" ok well what would YOU be doing if you had been kidnapped, infected with a parasite in an incredibly violating way, were essentially a ticking time bomb, and had no training in weapons or defense to deal with this shit MUCH LESS while in a totally different country. um. i think you would be begging for help too. and half the battle is just her game mechanic it's not like it's her fault jfc.

[harvestmoth]

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