#anything until like 2 hours ago | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

anythingbyadriannelenker · 9 days ago

Text

i did it. i completed my annotated bibliography. it only took 3 days and 30+ mental damage points. onwards and upwards folks

#i am not thinking about neural coding for three days #i dont carrrrreee if ive got a problem set and a response paper due next week if i gotta read another Nature article people are goinf to di #many thoughts to be thunk #and i am aware that it should not have taken me that long but i have been sooooo overstimulated for two whole days that i couldn't read #anything until like 2 hours ago #like i had lost the ability to read words longer than 2 syllables #twas bad #ironic considering a portion of my final paper this bib is for is on altered predictive coding in autism lmaoooooo

3 notes · View notes

cosmogyros · 2 months ago

Text

.

#thinking about how nice it would be to have an actual bed #instead of just sleeping on a mattress on the floor as i have done for the past 13 years #and how nice it would be to have an oven that actually works #(i tried to roast carrots tonight. the recipe said 40 mins at 190 C.#i had to set the oven to 250 C for it to actually reach 190 C. and roast for about 2 hours. and they still didn't get cooked properly)#and all the other things that need to be fixed about my home #(i love my flat so much but the furnishings and appliances desperately need updating)#but every time i start tentatively thinking about making one of these big changes #i get so overwhelmed by the logistics (who takes away the old mattress and oven? how do i dispose of them? how do i choose good ones?)#and then i remember that i am still over 10k in debt with student loans #and that literally a week ago i was calculating whether i'd be able to borrow money from friends for rent if necessary #and survive on lentils and rice and the other stuff in my cupboard for a month if i had nothing left for groceries #and i realize how UTTERLY ridiculous it is for me to even THINK about spending large amounts of money on anything until the debt's paid off #like every single financial advisor tells you that straight up #if you've got loans of multiple thousands of dollars and the interest rate is NINE FUCKING PERCENT #you do not put money away in savings. you do not invest money. you do not splurge on ANYTHING #you scrimp and save. and so that's what i've been doing. for a couple decades now #i'm so tired #and i've been doing this so long that i suspect it's permanently changed my brain chemistry #the mere prospect of taking any financial risks makes me instantly go into shutdown mode #need to get rid of that damn debt. asap. my severance payment is the light at the end of the tunnel for me rn #just gotta hold on till then. and then we'll see #tag rant #poverty #personal #cosmo gyres

3 notes · View notes

doberrrman · 3 months ago

Text

I have this feeling that I have unofficial beef with my neighbor...

#text #okay so if you wanna know:#this old lady above our apartment didn't like me even before I moved in #when she first met me we had some guys over who uninstalled and took away the old kitchen cause we were getting a new one #and she instantly tried to file some sort of complaint that it was apparently against the house rules to put spacious furniture into the #elevator without some sort of cover because the elevator could get scratches or something but get this #there was nothing in the house rules that said this. my dad even asked the ppl in charge of the house rules and they confirmed that #pretty weird isn't it? well haven't seen each other too often so I had the fortune of not having to put up with her... until 2 days ago #I just did my laundry and wanted to put it up on the communal drying rack in the basement #you also have to know that the neighbors to the right of us smoke weed. A LOT. I don't rly care you do you but they seem to smoke 24/7 #So much their entire apartment reeks of weed and they actually open their apartment door for like 1 hour in the evening to air #and of course our entire floor smells. so I get into the elevator and wanted to press the button for the basement floor but I notice it #suddenly goes up. and I'm just like okay fine.... until I run into the weird old lady and we stare at each other awkwardly #and I'm like “well... you need to go up or down...?” and she's like “I need to go down but I don't wanna get into the elevator with you..”#(get ready for what she says next) “... because your laundry smells” and you should have seen my confusion. I was so damn close to saying #“you think I put WEED into my laundry?? are you sure???” but I didn't say anything and just went well okay then not ig #So I go to the basement and put up my laundry a little bewildered but still mostly amused go back up and sleep over it #Well today I returned from college and went down to collect the laundry when I found a little piece of paper hung right next to it that said #“when you leave the washroom turn of the lights” but I swear to god I put out the light I'm 100% sure. And like she also knew I was down #there cause I was in the elevator and like why would someone put in all this effort to print out a piece of paper instead of just turning #the lights off themselves??? Idk maybe I rly did leave the lights on and this is a weird paranoia I'm having #but I can't shake of the feeling that it was her and she's trying to beef with me rly hard. idk old ppl are so weird man...

2 notes · View notes

girlcrushau · 8 months ago

Text

#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment #i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating #there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2 #months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it #not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him #in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if #he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone #and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think #there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy #your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly #so last night #i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart #until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent #that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real #did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart #and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about #and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in #which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever #it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the #reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying #not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me #that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs #he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am

4 notes · View notes

mashmouths · 9 months ago

Text

is it an adhd thing to need to reinvent the concept of a study space so you have any chance of actually studying or just a facet of being alive that no one warned me about

#like 2/3 of the battle of successfully being 'productive' is just finding out what will work for me in this moment as opposed to what worked #not even 30 minutes ago let alone yesterday. whether or not i can handle music and the type of music and the volume are all determined by #whims outside of my comprehension and i am. so tired. i can't work in a space that's too familiar unless i can except i can't. i can't work #in a space that's too unfamiliar unless i can except i can't. i can't work in a space with noise or without noise unless i can except i #can't. are we seeing the pattern here :( how has anyone alive ever established a routine ever when trying to parse my stupid needs hour by #hour is like pulling teeth every time. every bit of analysis and like reflection is a Task and i already can't handle tasks very well And i #takes up brain power and like. bits of my attention span that i desperately need to shore up to get anything actually? done? once i'm #settled? but i can't settle if it's not the right set up but i have to minutely tweak the set up until it's right but it so rarely is.#sorry to be like mopey on the dash i have papers and finals due and then actual finals week and i've been waiting on my period for a week :#what if things were. easier. hot take i know. and yes this is (hopefully) the last time i'll have to do finals unmedicated but ohhhhhhhhh m #god is this round determined to make it hurt as much as it possibly can to make up for it. a sigh and a sob etc etc #a post

3 notes · View notes

haemosexuality · 2 years ago

Text

today i got asked if i consider myself black. i have literally no fucking clue do you understand the can of worms you just tried to open

#do you want the ''idk'' answer or the 1 hour discussion #like uuuuuh. uh. well #cause you see my birth certificate says ''parda'' (brazilian term for ppl of mixed ethnities that are like. too mixed or too light to be #just something) but people say that thats an outdated term used only to make brazils population not look as black and indigenous as it is #and pardos should just consider themselves what they are so ig im black but i have never suffered any racism or literally anything bc of my #skin color or features so it feels shitty to call myself black if ive never lived it but doesnt saying that resume the experience of black #people to racism which sucks and ive had a friend who was lighter than me and considered herself black say im ''basically white'' but ive #also had a black friend who was darker than me say i was the only other black person in our class but also i feel like the word black #is more for people who are more visibly black than i am cuz i feel like im just the midway point between pale and brown i just look like #half of the population here and i didnt even realize i Was black until i was like 11 and read ''pardo isnt a color'' on facebook bc before #that i was always just ''moreninha'' or ''neguinha de mamae'' or whatever and THEN theres the fact that like 2 years ago i realized my dad #is probably actually indigenous and not black and just never knew cause idk he didnt live in a forest ig so ppl assume hes just black #even tho his features and state hes from kinda indicate he is indigenous and that means IM actually indigenous too not just the black from #my moms side which is a whole other fucking thing but honestly at the end of the day i csnt afford a dna test and it wouldnt change my life #in the slightest to know all that so the final answer to your question is:#idk

8 notes · View notes

phagodyke · 2 years ago

Text

my graduation is supposed to be in august + im requesting to graduate in absentia but i feel terrible abt it bc im not telling my parents 😑

#just bc if i do tell them they'll probably pressure me into going. and i dont fucking want to its my degree i can celebrate how i like #i wont even be living here in august!! and its a wednesday which is super awkward + im only allowed 2 guests but i have 4 parents lmao #which means i have to choose between my mum and dad. which will end up in hurt feelings either way #and theyre making us pay for our own robes which is stupid bc they literally have like 40k from me already #i cant sit in a stuffy hall through a two hour long ceremony that i wont even be able to hear with no one i know ill commit homicide #no point in doing drinks aftwr bc none of my friends have the same graduation date and i dont drink #like theres not a single reason why i would want to go. so im not going to #but i can already feel how disappointed theyll be.... and theyll be more mad if i dont tell them beforehand but i dont want to debate it!!#ik this is such a stupid thing but its making me stress like hell #ugh #my current plan of attack is not to tell them until they ask abt it and then the decision will be made so they cant do anything abt it #even if theyre upset abt it. but i HATE lying even by omission im the least dishonest person ever this is making me feel sick #and i have to tell them eventually bc ill need to get my diploma delivered to them so arghhhhhh #i technically got my degree over a year ago anyway bc i dropped out this is so dumb #they shouldve just been like sorry no ceremony for dropouts!! and then it wouldnt be my problem #whatever. deadline for registering is at 5 so itll be out of my hands once that passes thank fuck #.diaries #i think im getting unnecessarily worked up abt it bc im just generally in a shitty mood tbh #gonna go for a walk and find somewhere to sit and read outside until i feel more sane i think

2 notes · View notes

chaos-coming · 2 years ago

Text

Ugh my family here is so unreliable

#theyre all the literal biggest flakes #and allergic to communication #let me just not tell you about these important documents you need to register until after youre in trouble with the govt #and lets not give you the letter until the very day before you leave for vacation sp you get 8 business hours to collect signatures #and get an appointment with the govt office #even though we all knew this was A Thing because we did it for your sister 2 years ago. but just decided you dodnt need to know #thanks guys i cant rely on yall for anything #now i wont have time to go to work and get a haircut and do all my packing/shopping tomorrow #because i have to spend the whole day doing got bs that could have been entirely avoided if anybody had told me this document #fucking exists #this so frustrsting and its like the 8th time theyvd done something like this to mr #the people in this country are too coddled they dont know the concept of proactive action #just wait till youre on fire before telling you they had flame resistant clothes you could have been wearing this whole time

3 notes · View notes

prapuna · 2 years ago

Text

what they dont tell you about learning music instruments is that you have to practice. unbelievable

#/silly #having so much fun with ukulele #but also i need to remind myself i cant automatically be an expert at anything i just started #like i got this ukulele like 2? 3 months ago?#and accumulatively ive only been practicing for several hours #like one of the songs i can already play & sing are 2econd sight seer. 5 names. those arent nothing #i probably got a head start with guitar but also its been almost 4 years since the guitar broke #also i cant believe ukulele is my cheapest hobby ever i spent zero on these things. the now broken guitar was my cousin's #the ukulele was my brother's until he got a new one #I FOUND 6 PICKS INSIDE A PLASTIC BAG IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD TRASH BIN #asked around and no one's claimed it so what am i supposed to do. leave it in the trash bin? nah #just realized those arent one song those are two i cant count aku masih tk a #krispeaks #im too shy to talk about ukulele irl wah #belom bisa apa-apa kak cuma modal nggak buta nada

4 notes · View notes

cuntrytaylor · 2 years ago

Text

well. my roommate of 5 years is moving out!

#to be clear we have been best friends all that time up until last november #she's been changing a lot for a little over a year #and now wants to move way outside of the city to be A. safer and B. live alone and C. closer to her girlfriend #go girl isolate yourself more why don't you #god i fucking hate her sometimes #sorry but what kind of friend has the audacity to tell me that the friendship has been ''lacking'' since we graduated yet has not once #organized or invited me/any of our friends to anything?? like she just shows up when we all organize something and invite her #and yeah obvi we are gonna do that less after we graduated bc it's trickier to organize plans #BUT THE LACK OF EFFORT IS NOT ON ME OK SHE HASNT INVITED ME ANYWHERE EVER OK BYE #there's more to it than that im just complaining abt this specific issue today #i would say the rats and the poisoning and the yelling at me for an hour straight and telling me im selfish for wanting to eat dinner #when she knows my history #are definitely worse but. goddamn.#lol anyways she is gonna be so sad and lonely and i cannot wait for it to not be my problem! her shitty studio apartment is gonna be ugly 2 #like she only sees me and her gf anymore basically bc she told me she wants to cut ties with most everyone from college #including our best friend #who is currently grieving her dead brother #and she said to me. literally. ''i was thinking of cutting ties a few months ago but then he died and so that was really inconvenient for me #like i wish i was joking #the only thing i can say is that she doesnt live in reality #i get to keep the house and the furniture (new roommate has to pay her back) so i win!

2 notes · View notes

tardis--dreams · 2 months ago

Text

Wow this really was terrible. I think I'll stay in university as compared to work it seems actually quite nice (:

#this is exactly what i wanted from this dumb job decision btw #i wanted it to be a counterpart to university so that i could distract myself from university with work and vice versa #like 'ah i hate my job. guess uni isn't so bad' and 'fuck i hate university i prefer working' are great mindsets to even each other out #let's be real i hate both #and i don't think I'll ever be satisfied with anything i do #so it's not like i have the option between something i like and something i don't like #it's always gonna be a choice between two or more evils and i just have to find the one thing #that i hate the least #but also i have to accept that there's parts of everything that I'll hate at least as much as university #if not more #and today was certainly a day that sucked so bad it made university seem almost attractive #but i know i'll hate every second of the rest of my degree no matter how bad work is #whatever #I'll quit working for today #I have 10 hours of overtime this week #overtime i do Not get paid for nor can i even it out with free time officially #(inofficially however i will be working a lot less the next few weeks. like at least 2-3 hours less per week until #I've gotten back to zero overtime)#there still needs to be done so much on monday but i think my brain already quit a few hours ago #anyway I'll go read a book now (an actual work of fiction. for fun. a new little challenge for myself ♡)#(i also ordered a bunch of books i wanna read. most of them from japanese and korean authors so if i like the korean ones #I'll get the original(s) and have some fun with practicing korean hehe)#void screams

1 note · View note

preserve-or-raze · 2 years ago

Text

my tags got out of hand

i keep thinking about hobbies and how i often spill over myself to pick up new ones. i have adhd, i end up trying something for like a month and then just getting far enough in it that i move on, satisfied.

and that should be fine; but it's never fine.

i am a pretty decent artist; but i can't just make art for my dnd campaign, i should be selling dnd maps and character designs and scene setting pieces. i can't just make my friends matching earrings, i need to get an etsy and ship them internationally and take bulk orders. i make pretty good props and decorations and use them to throw my friends parties - but i should be running a party planning business and start taking paying clients and networking and putting my skills to actual use.

for some reason, i never figured out the specifics of pottery. it was a fun class and i enjoyed myself - and still, i'm embarrassed, years later, that i put in all that useless effort. everything i make has to be stunning. stellar. i should have applied myself more. maybe i'm too lazy. maybe i'm broken and selfish and needy. actually creative people would have kept going; they would be bettering themselves at every possible opportunity.

we find ourselves in this trap, even accidentally: we need to commodify our time, because it is a commodity. if we spend our efforts and our time not earning, isn't that the same thing as burning free money? and god forbid you ever take up a hobby that ends up being more expensive than you thought. you sit in your car and you look at the receipt and in your head you hear a conversation that isn't even happening - your mom or your friend or your partner all saying oh great. not this shit again. it's always something with you, and it never actually means anything.

i have realized this horrible thing, recently - i'll get excited to start a project, pick up a new hobby. and then i just... stop myself. i start thinking about the amount of time it will take, and how it'll look in my monthly budget. what if i can't even produce a good enough final product. sure, it's exciting to think about how i could make my friend her own custom dice. but i'm just polluting the earth if i don't get it right. better not bother. better not try.

restless, i get caught in the negative space. the feeling that oh god, i want to create. and that horrible sense - yeah, but i don't have the time to just put to waste.

#oh my god i’m not the only person in the whole world who has Struggles and Difficulties #i am in pharmacy school which means i have no money no time etc and so every single thing that would bring an iota of joy or escape #must be cut for time because you haven’t studied for your exam next month so no you cannot start watching that the show.#and because you missed the deadline two weeks ago for that group project that the others did for you there will be no sitting at the piano #also you made a c and not a b on the exam yesterday so maybe instead of ordering takeout like you said you were going to #(because you know that you don’t buy real food on the rare occasion you go to the grocery store)#instead you’re gonna have to pick through your bare cabinets and empty fridge freezer for something. or just not eat #like you sometimes do #this is not a problem bc you’ve saved your money which you can’t afford to waste #that’s what they told you when you started: tell your friends you can’t see them much because a doctoral program is a time commitment #they said: you need to quit your side hustles and get an internship #they said: you need to ask for cleaning supplies for your birthday—and clothes and shoes bc tuition is very expensive #this isn’t some deficiency on your part. everyone else lives in isolation with no hobbies or entertainment too.#the only difference is that THEY spend all that time studying and reviewing and working and preparing—#while YOU are laying in bed all day because the thought of writing that paragraph is nauseating and tomorrows exam is slowly enveloping you #and you can tell because you had to retake those 2 classes and you have to retake another one this summer.#never mind that you still don’t know anything. just keep playing the part. stay afloat until this week’s exam is over #then you can worry about next week’s exams #(you WILL worry about next week’s exams)#learning the ukulele isn’t going to ease your stress it’s just gonna make you feel guilty #what do you mean you already feel guilty because you’ve pulled the ukelele out exactly twice since mom gave it to you for christmas?#that webseries updates 4 times a week. can you honestly tell me that you have 4 hours a week where you don’t feel shame #about not exceeding expectations anymore?#i thought not. close your compute— you didn’t even take it out of your bag.#do you ever take it out of your bag at home?#you don’t.#well i can see why you’re such a fucking failure #it’s 3:27 am but i won’t bother telling you to shower or brush your teeth- i know you don’t do that.#you went to bed three and a half hours ago now it’s time to sleep #maybe we’ll see what tomorrow has for us

5K notes · View notes

featherymainffins · 8 months ago

Text

Binge-reading Dungeon Meshi because it's the only thing standing between me and suicide ngl.

#it at least gave me the single molecule of mental energy required to force myself to eat at least one slice of bread #because it's like the physical energy is there sure but mentally I'm like 'noooooo I don't want to eat anything i hate food #all food tastes bad and i hate life and i want to eat nothing at all and furthermore i need to lose weight so i should starve myself'#I'm thinking that it might actually make me last until I either convince the crisis center that I'm for fucking real for real #or until my appointment with the school counselor. which idk when would be because i was supposed to go on the #2nd of April but i guess there might be holidays because he called me when i was atva lecture but i couldn't take it #because i had a lecture and he hasn't called since but I'm assuming #that hell call again and that he wants to let me know that the date is impossible #but I want to like wait and see what he says. and if he goes like 'oh actually im on a long vacay now goodbye forever'#or whatever I'll just go '...slay' and ride my ass to the hospital tomorrow.#show up at the crisis centre looking exactly like the patients with chronic pain who report pain 7 while looking unphased #like 'hello i am an active danger to myself I can't get out of bed most days; i need 16 hours of sleep to function for 4 hours #my meds have stopped working I haven't eaten anything but exactly 2 pancakes and a slice of bread in the past 4 days #and i exhibit a strong refusal to change this marked by thoughts present in people affected by eating disorders. no activity #feels fun anymore and they were marked by a strong sense of anxiety a few days ago but now i just feel nothing at all.#at this point I'm not even refusing to do any of my hobbies because im increasingly afraid of failure and its #consequences while being hunted for sport by anxiety from the opposite end telling me that i need to finish 50 masterpieces #immediately or nobody will ever like me again and they'll all see me for the talentless fraud i am. at this point i just don't care.#i don't do anything because i feel sluggish and my body is heavy and I'm so so tired and I'm tired of being awake and I can't think straight #also i think i might be going into a psychotic episode again.'#they're gonna tell me to get the fuck out of their faces anyway but it's worth a try.#like idk i feel like they might kinda listen because yesterday I guess they wouldn't have but today i have stopped caring about cars #and looking both ways. which is like. not a good sign probably. also yesterday i was still somewhat able to talk to people #even though i was in a very irritated and drained out state but today I'm feeling like if anyone even fucking attempts to talk to me #or if i hear any loud fucking sound at all I'm just gonna punch myself in the head until the pain drowns out all the sound

1 note · View note

exopelagic · 9 months ago

Text

I AM A CODING GENIUS

#coding assignments due in circa 10 hours. it is 2am #I started roughly 12 hours ago and I’m almost done #I also managed to do in 5 minutes the thing my friend has been struggling with for a month <3 #the problem is that I’m really good at figuring out how code SHOULD work so solutions like that are easy as hell #but making it actually happen? well.#I spent about two hours swearing at my laptop bc these two dumb rasters would not be set to anything except TRUE/FALSE #they would NOT let me change the values for any reason at all and the internet failed me #I think it is time for us as a society to acknowledge that stack overflow sucks actually this is one of my biggest red flags #I despise that site it completely sucks more often than it’s helpful #that might just be bc I’ve done an obscene amount of work with spatial data at this point and spatial data is hell <3 #anyway I’m procrastinating now even though it’s 2am bc I’m feeling confident I can finish this now so the urgency is gone #it will return in maybe 30 minutes bc I said I’d go to bed at 3am but man. these assignments have been the WORST #aaaaaanyway I’m in the hyper stage of tired yknow. the chocolate I just ate probably isn’t helping #so ready for this to be done but unfortunately that means I gotta do it #might as well do as much as I can now I guess so I can get it finished early tomorrow #can clean it up a bunch tonight if I finish it quick too #okay pray for me. I’m already on 5 hours sleep bc I was up until 2 doing the other one yesterday #luke.txt #man my flatmates are ASLEEP now probably wish I was asleep #2:36 update: can confirm I am a genius bc I think I just solved my problem from earlier too

0 notes

iamsecretlyabagel · 9 months ago

Text

just found out that I actually have finals in the middle of the camping trip I was really forward to going on so not only can I not go (or if I did I'd have to drive alone 6 hours each way to only be able to stay maximum 4 nights of a 10 night trip) but I'm also going to be isolated for days before the finals and have no one to celebrate with when I finish

#personal rant #tried to look for an amtrak route but the closest stop is still a 3 hour drive away which I know my dad wouldn't be willing to do #they definitely won't cancel it either and there's virtually no possibility to reschedule until next year #I wouldn't mind being left behind if it wasn't at such a stressful time when I'm going to need support the most #reminds me of the time 2 years ago when they went on a week long trip without me like a week after my cat died #except this time I have months to watch them not do anything about it #my posts

0 notes

29121996 · 1 year ago

Text

.

#every so often ill reach a breaking point with Everything and then work myself to even further burn out #to avoid adding to it #i isolate myself from nearly everyone apart from like 2 people but will be working So Much i have no time for anything else #its literally out of desperation of escaping something #but it do b bc i need to move tf Away this time . i cannot be here any longer so i am . going to overwork myself until im rolling in cash #so i can FUCK OFF #i also dont want so mhch spare time i am Constsntly thinking i cannot do that . but everything i wanna do lowkey does cost money #like i am Begging to fix my cello atp bc fucking around on the bass a few weeks ago. yeah i miss playing music :(#anyway . i need to figure out how im gonna get more hours at work atp

0 notes