#a friend of mine told me once that she thought i was so brave for not being scared of being different in middle school

[theokusgallery]

I freaking love your au and your latest comic because MAN

I FELT THOSE LAST WORDS AND I WAS LIKE "OH FUCK"

First panel was already a bit unsettling itself - like you get it's just intimate manners as you do as a couple but he felt so possessive already and

Sunny's inner thoughts

I'm sure 100% his abandonment anxiety will increase drastically the more he stays with nick and honestly slay

I mean it's kinda obvious

But like I felt that

Yeah

Nick is unhinged

Nick is crazy

Y'all are gay for him

Good 😵💥

Sunny has soooo many issues. So many of them. He's so vulnerable and he makes himself vulnerable to Nick while still being intimidated by him, it's... Dude's got some problems.

[gloster]

FAVORITE FANFICS OF 2024

2024 is/will/already over....and dear gosh, this year really kicked my butt. Drained me dry. Did a number on me mentally, emotionally, and even my wallet took too many hits. But I live to see another day & enter another year.

As always, the things helped me get through this year was friends both fandom & IRL, good movies, good shows, good music from familiar favs with new albums to KPOP, and of course FANFICS.

Every year fanfic writers both familiar & new to me blow me away with their talent, their writing, their brilliance. And every year I always do this traditional post to give them their flowers. Hence, the reason for this sweet lil' post of mine.

This is a little Tumblr tradition I've been doing now for a whooping 6 years & I look forward to it every time. It's my own favorite of fanfic rec lists. I did ones for 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, & 2023 if you're interested.

Without further ado, here are my favs.

1). however wild by @sayesayes & @noxarcanaart (steddie)

Summary: Prince Steve has always been told to stay out of the forest. And he does… when he’s awake.

This story 🖤this story🖤 this story 🖤this story 🖤 This beautiful, beautiful, incredibly addicting dark jewel is the reason why I was sucked into the steddie fandom- the amazingness that is this story, the beautiful fanart done by @noxarcanaart, & my bestie @dreamydrarry who was determined to pull me into the steddie ship b/c she needed a friend to gush with.

Fun fact. I saved this story on my marked for later for my friend @dreamydrarry b/c this story sounded right up her alley. However, I was too intrigued, particularly thanks to the key word: fae. I love fae. That's one of my magical creatures to read about in fantasy, so whenever I see it mentioned in a story, I have to read. For this one, I decided to read it. And I've never been the same again.

This story was just a masterpiece. A pure masterpiece from beginning to end, living rent-free in my head where I keep thinking about it, Prince Steve being so gentle & brave, fae-Eddie being wicked one second and so devoted the next.

I purposefully delayed my reading because I didn't want it to end. And once I finished, I immediately hopped on to see what other steddie stories @sayesayes had.

Honorable mentions:

genius loci

Flight Risk

locust year

(there is) thunder in our hearts

girlskin

too good to be true

daddy talk series

2). you might have some bruises (and a few scars) by @newtonsheffield (kathony/kanthony)

Summary: Matrimony- Gentleman, 27, seeking eligible lady. Respectable income made from farming livestock and barley in Aubrey, Kent. Gentleman lives with, and provides for six younger siblings and is seeking a wife who would tend to their care and education first and foremost. Family is very important and as such would be willing to provide a living for the lady’s family should this be required. Please send responses through Mrs M Williams, Aubrey village. -Mr A E Bridgerton

OR

Dear Mr Bridgerton, I hope this letter finds both you and your family well as I know the end of Winter tends to lend itself to small children finding themselves unwell. I am writing with regards to the advertisement I noted in the newspaper this past Sunday. I am six and twenty and reside in Somerset, where I grew up, with my mother.

OR

Anthony is a handsome farmer in need of a mother for his younger siblings and no time for courting

OR

The marriage of convenience AU no one needed

Once upon a time, I used to despise marriage being used as a trope in stories from arranged marriages to marriages of convenience. As usual- fanfics came along and completely changed my mind. This story is an example of that. This story also made me more open-minded to farming and farmers in stories, which I never thought of before until I stumbled across this story.

@newtonsheffieldis that writer, especially for the kathony/kanthony fandom, feeding us well with the content and love the damn show refuses to give our favs.

Just when I think I can't love Kate & Anthony anymore, this story deepened my love 100000x fold.

Honorable mentions:

Cupboards

(I feel) the lavender haze creeping up on me

3). I know I've kissed you before (Can I try again) by @transmascsteveharrington (steddie)

Summary: “Still not graduated, Harrington?”

It’s something Eddie would have said teasingly when they were teens. Steve would have smacked him on the shoulder, affectionately calling him an asshole before being pulled into an apologetic kiss. But they are not teenagers anymore and Eddie’s voice lacks any of the warmth that used to be reserved for Steve. Now, it’s just loaded with resentment, which, yeah, is a fair reaction.

“I…eh…work here now,” Steve says lamely and points at his office door. “Guidance counselor.”

or: 14 years after his first big heartbreak, Steve's life is relatively stable. It's been two years since the tragic incident that led to him becoming Dustin's guardian, both of them slowly healing. He is doing amazing at his job and his social life is great. Of course, that's when a person from Steve's past has to come and shake everything up.

OH. MY. GOSH. THIS STORY-THIS STORY-THIS STORY-THIS STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best way I can describe this story is the famous Lady Gaga meme: talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it.

Second chance romance is incredibly hard to do, which many try (particularly published authors) and very few can pull off. This story did it well where my heart was lifted, speared, crushed, sewed-up, & melted in an orderly fashion.

4). Living The Unknown Dream by @blushweddinggowns (steddie)

Summary: “How are you feeling?” Steve asked, all wide-eyed and caring.

Eddie gaped at him, fully aware that his entire face must be red. He was trying to form words, he really was, but Steve single handedly put the brakes on that.

Why was Steve Harrington holding his hand? Why was Steve Harrington calling him baby ?

Why did he kiss him, like it was the most natural thing in the world?

Only fanfic writers. Only fanfic writers can take tropes that usually don't tend to stick and turn them into brilliant stories. Amnesia trope is one I've grown to loathe after getting burnt- and incredibly frustrated by it- too many times in other stories. But with this one, I was too intrigued and oh how I fell. Oh how I was proven wrong. And I'm so happy for it.

Yet another story that just deepened my love for a ship that I already carried such deep love for, but then this story came along and it increased 1000000000x.

5). The Yellow Tulips of Texas by @folklauerate (kathony/kanthony)

Summary: Kate runs into a store to get out of the rain, and runs right into a southern gentleman.

(or Texas!Anthony and New Yorker!Kate fall in love)

“You should go,” He says, drawl somehow even stronger now, or is she imagining it? “Most beautiful place on God’s green earth.”

She snorts.

“You laugh now, but just you wait,” He says. “You’ll see, one day.”

“What makes you so sure I’ll go to Texas?”

She has a feeling she knows why he’s so sure, but she asks anyway.

He grins at her.

“A man just knows these things, honey.”

For y'all who didn't think you couldn't be anymore thirsty for Mr. Anthony Bridgerton/ Jonathon Bailey, BEHOLD *presents story in full gusto*. Be Prepared. This story will make you perch for him because 🥵🥵🥵

I do not care for age gap romances. I really don't. Most of what I read usually rub me the wrong way, but the way this one was done, I was greatly impressed. Partially because of their ages where Kate is in her mid-20s & Anthony in his 40s, which isn't too bad. Partially because the writer just knows their stuff and makes magic.

It's because of this story I started hunting for more age-gap romances.

Honorable mentions:

lost in your current like a priceless wine

The MILF in 2B

6). Come Away with Me by FloralUmbrella (kathony/kanthony)

Summary: Anthony and Kate whisk away on their honeymoon. An exploration into the world of intimacy and marriage ensues.

If you are like me, you weren't that particularly impressed with season 3 of Bridgerton for a number of reasons. Including the very very limited scenes of kathony/kanthony, and lack of attention they were given both on-and-off screen.

It's time like this when fanfic writers come through & deliver the content we so desperately need. This story gives us the honeymoon period we were denied in the show, where we see our fav just fall deeper and deeper in love while also learning more about each other.

7). When You Kiss Me (What A Lovely Way To Burn) by @femmequixotic (drarry)

Summary: A drag fairytale of New York in which Draco wears red lipstick and Potter can’t get enough.

An oldie but such a good good goodie. Listen I will always advocate for older fanfics and giving them a chance because you can find some good treasures.

Nothing is more better than going to a story you've been saving forever and it ending up being so much better than expected. Confident Draco in drag, trying to bury the ghosts of his past. Harry stumbling across his club and needing an escape. It's so so so so good.

8). The Librarian by library_fireplace (drarry)

Summary: Draco Malfoy is a reference librarian at a small branch of Britain's wizarding public library system. Harry Potter needs help finding the romance section.

~*~

“Malfoy,” Potter said, slowly. “When did you read The Dragon Tamer?”

Draco felt himself turning pink, and then red. He hadn’t meant to give himself away quite that much, but he also knew that Potter suspected him of following his reading history. He had been found out for his snooping. “I —“ he stuttered embarrassingly, and wanted to melt away into the floor behind the desk. “A few weeks ago, now.”

“And how many romances had you read before that?” Potter pressed, now smirking again, knowingly this time, leaning forward with his arms crossed on the desk. Draco felt himself break out in a shiver that he hoped wouldn’t turn into a sweat.

“Er… None, I’m afraid,” he found himself admitting, even though he had really meant to lie.

“Draco,” Potter smiled. “Did you read it just because I had read it?”

Draco scoffed audibly, but very unconvincingly. “No!”

“I think you did.”

Books have the power to bring people together, even helping old rivals find common ground- and more- within the wonders that lay in their pages. Including some good old smutty smutty.

It's a tale as old as time. Stuffy librarian who believes in "fine literature" A hardcore, shameless romance reader who loves their smut and isn't afraid to show it. This story already was promising featuring Draco as a librarian who has a perfect system for organizing his books. But having Harry be a romance reader whose big stack intrigues Draco into reading, having him fall hard...it's PRICELESS.

9). blood is an aphrodisiac by @cuips-not-cute (steddie)

Summary: There’s a few things Eddie notices when he wakes up.

One, he bites his tongue. It hurts. Of course. The weird thing, though, is he doesn’t taste blood. But he knows he bit it hard and it’s throbbing behind his teeth. He tastes something, and his mouth feels wet but there’s no metallic flavor (metal. He likes metal. He’s remembering). It’s smoother. More earthy.

Two. He’s alone. Completely. No Dustin. Or Robin or Nancy or Steve or anyone.

Three. He’s sore. His whole body aches, his skin is thrumming with it. His neck especially, and his sides like where Steve was bitten, too.

Four. He’s got to blink a couple times to realize this one. Let his eyes adjust from the pitch black of being closed to the dim blue haze of the Upside Down. Yeah, that’s what he realizes. He’s still there.

Five. He’s fuckin’ starving.

In which Eddie wakes up with sharp teeth, Steve has a thing for tongue piercings, and it takes a while for them to figure out what all of that means.

I'm convinced this story was the starter behind the vampire/kas!Eddie fanart I be seeing. Like everytime I see vampire Eddie, I think of this story and the biggest smile spread across my face.

I binged this story. I read it in one sitting-and immediately wanted to go back to the beginning to read all over again. This story felt like one of those urban fantasies, where it's modern day, vampires exist, but they're integrated into modern world. Also despite the fangs and the blood thrist, vampirism has very little to do with the plot and is a stepping stone for these two getting together.

I just how Steve wasn't at all shy about his attraction and just want with it. Meanwhile Eddie is just like 😨🤯😶 I LOVE IT.

Honorable mention:

he could be brave

blinking red light

10). The Stutter and The Freak series by @lexirosewrites (steddie)

Summary: The Hellfire Club can collectively pinpoint the exact day that the formerly ruthless dungeon master known as Eddie “The Freak” Munson became soft. Mostly because it was the same day that Steve “The Stutter” Harrington started school at Hawkins High and became an unofficial member of HFC.

If there's another fanfic writer whose profile I've been devouring, it would be @lexirosewrites. And each one, I get more and more hooked. They have so many stories that I really adored, including the first honorable mentioned that tied with this one for top fav. But there's something about this one that gets me every time.

This one, Steve is such a sweet baby boy who deserved to be protected and Eddie immediately is like, BET, I accept that challenge. Quickly Steve is taken under Dustin's wing, taken into the Hellfire Club, and immediately captures Eddie's heart.

It's a comfort read.

Honorable mentions:

my heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue

Silver

Bandaids for the Heart

And now for the Honorable Mentions that were insanely good but due to time & length, couldn’t go into full depth:

Love You Like A Love Song series by eyesofshinigami (steddie; omegaverse steddie w/alpha Steve & omega Eddie, dissolving and switching norms in the ABO on its head, being so sappily in love)

awake for ever in a sweet unrest: california trail steddie by hesjustlikemefr (steddie; California trail, mid-1800s, alpha Eddie x omega Steve, mpreg, age gap w/older Eddie)

Nice & Quiet by nobetterlove (steddie; hard of hearing Steve, Steve slowly losing his hearing, Eddie & the gang helping him all the way)

you're mine, class president by orphan account (tododeku; based on the anime maid sama ft. flirtious shouto x shy izuku, peppered with so much cuteness)

For the Love of Football by olddarkmachine (sheith; football player shiro x loner-keith set in a 4-part college AU that's so much fun)

Hic sunt dracones by @just-my-latest-hyperfixation (steddie; fated mates w/dragon Eddie & prince Steve, delivered with such beautiful devotion and possessiveness that I gobbled up)

There you have it, folks. The fanfics that live rent-free in my head. The fanfics that helped make this year bearable. Done by the amazing writers who deserve all the praise, love, kudos, comments, and more. And whom I definitely will be checking out their future stuff in the future.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

[eat-limes-bitches]

Take A Chance

PAIRING: Female Reader x  Bucky Barnes

SUMMARY:  Who knew one look could calm the raging storm of his mind.

SONG Be Brave by Owl City

WARNINGS: Angst, (Bucky's self-loathing, anxiety, mention of nightmares, hinting to PTSD) Fluff!!!

Word Count: 1212

A/N: Hi! Here is the 2nd part! Sorry, it took so long! If you haven't read the first part yet you can click HERE to read it first, but you don't have to, you can read this as a stand-alone. I've already started part 3 so be on the lookout for that!

Enjoy! <3

Divider by Rookthorne

Bucky stood outside Joe’s coffee shop a little before nine, fiddling with the bouquet in his hands, tracing his eyes over the colored petals. He had asked the little old lady at the flower shop what would be best. She had looked him over thoughtfully before producing the bouquet with a smile, shooing him off insiting he not pay, as he was a regular there and had never bought flowers for a special someone before. He stuck the cash he intended to pay her in the tip jar and shuffled out the door and over to Joe’s where he was now standing. 

Was this too old-fashioned? Do girls even like flowers anymore? What if she doesn’t even show up? I’ll look like an idiot.

He began to question himself, starting to become nervous. He rubbed a gloved hand over his thigh as he began to spiral, but a sweet voice pulled him out of it before he descended too far into madness. 

“Hi, Bucky!”

Bucky froze and turned around to look at the speaker. Sure enough, there was the woman from the movie theater the night before. She smiled sweetly at him, her eyes bright and warm, chasing off the chill of the January air. Bucky shook his head and cleared his throat,

“Oh! Um- Hi, Y/n.” He offered her an awkward smile as he handed her the bouquet, “These are for you.”

She gingerly took the flowers from him, eyes wide as she looked at them before shifting her gaze up to his. The longer she stayed silent, the more dread he felt building up in his stomach. 

“I-I’m sorry, it was probably stupid and old-fashioned but my ma woulda killed me if she knew I went to meet a pretty girl without flowers a-and I didn’t know what to get so the lady at the store told me-”

His rambling was cut off when Y/n waved her hand. 

“No! I love them! It’s just, no one has ever bought me flowers before.” She said shyly, looking down at her boots. Now it was Bucky’s turn to be surprised, how had no one ever bought her flowers, he would never understand. He made a silent vow to himself to buy her as many flowers as he could. 

“Oh, well, I’m glad you like them.” He said softly, the corner of his lips turning up in a small but genuine smile as he motioned to the coffee shop. “Shall we?” Y/n smiled and nodded and the pair made their way into the shop. As soon as Bucky opened the door, a sense of comfort washed over him along with the smell of fresh coffee and pastries. The pair shuffled inside and up to the counter.  The kid who worked behind the counter on Saturdays came over and took their orders, saying that he would be bringing it over to their table shortly. Bucky motioned for Y/n to pick a seat and she picked the booth in the back of the shop. 

“I hope you don’t mind,” She said as Bucky began to sit down, “I like to be able to see everything, makes me feel a little more at ease.”

Bucky smiled, he didn’t mind at all, in fact, he felt much more comfortable at the back of the shop. He was no longer the Winter Soldier but some of those habits are hard to break, like making note of every exit and entrance of a place, keeping a head count on everyone that entered and left, double locking doors, and many other little tics. 

“No, this is fine,” he said with a smile, “This is my usual booth.”

She smiled brightly at him and seemed to relax a bit before asking, “So do you come here often?” 

Bucky furrowed his eyebrows as he thought about his response, trying to decide how to say it without giving away who he was all at once. 

“Uh yeah, a friend of mine brought me here when I was trying to find myself after coming back from a hard time in life.” He internally cringed at his explanation gauging Y/n’s reaction as she thought about his words. She gave him a soft smile and nodded before she spoke;

“Yeah, Steve was a great guy like that, I’m sure it’s been hard on you since he left.” Bucky felt his blood run cold Shit, she does know who I am, she thinks I’m a monster. How does she know Steve? Is she from HYDRA? I knew this was too good to be true, no one would ever want someone like me. His thoughts began to spiral out of control until Y/n tapped on the table to get him to look at her. She gave him a sheepish smile;

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have dropped that on you like that. It wasn’t fair of me. I’m sure you think I’m a spy or something but I promise you I’m not. I was neighbors with Steve for a time. He spoke very fondly of you, even after all of the fighting and horrible things that happened to you and I’m sorry about that. No one deserves what you went through.”

Her words were soft and gentle as if she were talking to a frightened animal. Bucky blinked in surprise, staying quiet for a few moments before speaking again,

“You don’t think I’m a monster?” Her rasped out.

She gave him a sad smile as she placed her hand on top of his, “You’re not a monster. You’re a mirror, a thing that shows the reflection of the real monsters, with the cracks to prove that you lived through it. There is good in you, there always has been. It was the one thing in this century Steve was 100 percent certain of. I trust him and his judgment. I don’t care what anyone else says.”

These words triggered some sort of visceral response in Bucky. His racing heart slowed down, breathing coming back to normal levels, and his thoughts, for the first time in a while, stilled. The incessant hurricane of toxic thoughts and poisonous memories dissolved, leaving clear skies instead, something so beautiful it almost brought tears to his eyes. He looked down at the table and took her hand in his, looking back up with a soft smile. 

Y/n gave His hand a gentle squeeze. She knew what he was trying to say, and she didn’t need to hear the words to know what it was. Their orders were brought out and so they shared small talk, which seemed to come so easily but he was taking little notes of each of her responses, not wanting to forget a single detail.

Favorite color? Bue, but not bright blue. Soft, like worn denim.

Dogs or cats? Both are great, but she currently has a dog.

Favorite time of day? Early evening. The world starts to darken and you can just see the stars poking through the colors of the sky.

The longer they talked, the more the storm was tamed in Bucky’s mind and he realized that he could get used to this kind of peace that he hadn’t known in a long time, only if she was there with him.

[embrosegraves]

ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕖𝕕 𝕆𝕧𝕖𝕣

(request) Fernando Alonso x Fem!Reader Starting a committed relationship means telling all of your deepest secrets

Warnings: Mentions of negative mental health, mentions of abu$e, mentions of su!cide, talks of selfh4rm. I am begging you, don't read this if the topics discussed may trigger you

Note: I've never gone through anything like this myself so, with permission, I have based a little bit of the story on a very close friend of mine. It's not exact obviously, but there are elements of a real experience.

You hadn’t been dating Fernando for very long. Just barely 3 months. It still felt like a very new relationship, even if people said otherwise. It had been enough time to realise that you might genuinely love him. He never pressured you, he never made you feel less than, and he always made sure to tell you that you were enough. Sure it was the bare minimum, but it was always nice to know people could be like that. 

However, the fact was that you were scared to love him fully. You had almost sworn off dating completely because of your last partner. Your ex had made you feel so unworthy of everything. He had almost convinced you that he was the only person who would ever love you. Almost. Thankfully you had an amazing support system in your friends and most of your family. They had helped you get out of a horrible situation and they were with you the entire time, helping you recover from the trauma you had experienced. 

When Fernando had told you he was serious about dating you, you had said to him that it would be a long while before you went further than kissing and holding hands. Like a true gentleman, Fernando had told you that he completely understood that some things would take time, but he was willing to wait for however long it took for you to be comfortable. Which is why today was so important for you. 

“I’m nervous to show him, Y/f/n. What if he runs off after seeing it?” You had called your best friend, who was basically like your sister, trying to get rid of the rest of your nerves and anxiety. 

“Babe, I’ve seen how he treats and looks at you. He won’t run off and you’ll be okay.” She said, “You’re so brave and incredibly beautiful and he will see that regardless of your skin and scars. I promise if he hasn’t said ‘I love you’ before, he definitely will after this.” 

You scoffed. “Thank you but I doubt it. Once he sees he’s going to run for the hills.” 

“Who’s running for the hills?” 

You jerked your head around and saw Fernando walking through the door. You quickly said goodbye to your friend who wished you luck, and hung up the phone. You turned your body so that you were fully facing Fernando. Thankfully he could understand that this was going to be a serious conversation, so he gingerly sat next to you and took a hold of your hands. 

“I need to tell you something important.” You said, keeping your eyes firmly on the space of blanket between you. His thumbs started rubbing circles over your knuckles, bringing you some comfort. 

“I don’t need to know if you’re not ready to tell me.” He said softly. 

“No. You need to know this.” You took a deep breath before you launched into your explanation. It was now or never. 

“When I was in my early 20s, I was dating this guy. He was my first serious relationship that I’d ever had and for a time I thought he was going to be my future. I didn’t realise it at the time but he was very isolating, and controlling. There were times where he would scare me and laugh when I’d cry. He wouldn’t always, but he would often tell me that he was the only person who could ever love me, and for a time I believed him.” You didn’t want to count the amount of times your voice had already cracked. 

“It really took a toll on me. So much that in the last few months of that relationship, I started to hurt myself. Because part of me thought he was right. When he found out what I was doing, he started to- He started-” 

Fernando wiped a tear from your face. When had you started crying? 

Taking in another big breath, you continued. “He started to hurt me as well. He would press on them while they were fresh and he would bruise me to see the colours. If my brother hadn’t walked in, I probably would’ve taken my life.” You finally looked at Fernando’s face and saw that he had begun crying too. Lifting one of your hands you wiped his gathering tears. 

“I decided that if our relationship is going to go further, then you need to see what I did to myself.” 

You slowly stood up, taking your hands from his, and began to shimmy your trousers down until they were pooled at your feet. You kept undressing before you could chicken out. You took your cardigan off and your shirt followed soon after. Standing there, in front of Fernando in just your undergarments, your scars were on full display. The scars on your thighs and stomach had been healed over for many years now but they still looked just as angry as the day they appeared. You had to force your arms to stay at your sides instead of curling around your stomach like they wanted to. You tried your best not to flinch when Fernando brought his hands up to gently trace them with his fingers.

Fernando looked up at you from where he was still sitting. He looked at every inch of your face and he saw just how broken you were. His heart hurt just thinking about all the abuse you were put through. He took hold of your hands again and slowly dragged you closer to him, giving you plenty of time to back away if you wanted to. 

When you stood directly in front of him, he wrapped his arms gently around the back of your thighs and laid his head to rest on your stomach. Your hands were on his shoulders. 

“You don’t know how incredibly strong you are, Mi Vida. You are so, so strong and I’m so lucky to be with you now.” 

By now the both of you had tears streaming down your faces. Neither of you bothered enough to wipe them off. You were terrified of how your relationship was going to continue, if it was continuing at all. 

You felt Fernando leave soft kisses just over your scars, as if he was afraid to hurt you by pressing more firmly. Quiet sobs broke their way past your lips. Your grip on his shoulders tightened just a bit. 

“Please don’t leave.” You whispered, voice heavy with emotion. Fernando loosened his grip and stood up to cup your face in his hands. You brought your own hands to rest on his wrists as he held you. 

“There is not a single thing about you that would make me leave.” His thumb brushed a stray tear away. “I love you more than I can say.” 

Hearing his words, you closed your eyes and began sobbing harder. Your arms wrapped tightly around his waist as you buried your head into his chest. Fernando hugged you close to him and gently caressed the back of your head. 

“Thank you for being brave enough to tell me.”

I hope you enjoyed reading this! I tried my best to write this in a way that was both a little detailed but also very vague so let me know how I did!

as always, likes, replies and reblogs are always appreciated <3

[da-awesom-one]

At All Costs (Snowflake Version) - Chris Pine & Idina Menzel

Art I commissioned from Frost_Art on Instagram.

LYRICS UPDATED: 11/7/2024

*DISCLAIMER: These lyrics are fan-made lyrics of a song created and owned by Disney for characters that are owned by both Disney and Dreamworks respectively . No money is being made off of this. This was solely written for recreational purposes.*

Context: This is set during Frozen II, in the middle of the Dark Sea scene. They’ve barely survived the Nokk, and Jack is the most upset he’s ever been. Elsa left him behind not once, but twice. The first when they left Kristoff and Sven behind, and the second when she sent Olaf and Anna away. Not only that, she recklessly runs into the Dark Sea, and that’s not mentioning his fear of water. Coupled with the fear of being sent away, and not feeling like he has a place in Arendelle, he’s really struggling to prove his worth without being selfish.

Love is selflessness, and he has taken that to heart since the events of Frozen 1, where he abandoned Elsa before her parents died, and he did everything in his power to make up for it when she finally sees him again. However, it doesn't always work in the right way. So he’s desperately trying to not be what he perceives to be selfish, for being selfish is what almost lost him his best friend in the first place, and he is deeply afraid of losing his new family. Of losing Elsa.

But somewhere along the way, whether he understands or want to admit it or not, things changed. Jack sees Elsa differently, just as she started to in her late teens, but kept quiet due to what happened and out of respect to her friend, also because she's not sure she understands it either.

They argue in the Dark Sea, telling her he doesn't want to lose her, but right as Jack’s about to say what he actually wants, he relents, saying what he wants doesn’t matter. Elsa doesn’t accept that. Once they get to safety, she tells him what he wants matters to HER.

And he tells her he wants to stay with her forever. That he sees her the way Kristoff does to Anna. But time, fate, what have you, makes it seem like no matter what he does, he can’t. But still, he wants to be with her regardless. Because she is his destiny. And being with her makes him feel better, and whole.

So then he starts singing. And so does she. And for the first time since entering the Enchanted Forest, they're on the same page. Better now than ever before.

Sing = Siiing

-

(VERSE 1)

J: If destiny is a set-in-stone thing,

Mine would be you.

If you'd have told me the feelings you'd bring,

I'd think them untrue.

Yet I never thought I’d meet someone like you.

Not in this life.

You still amaze me after all this time.

(PRE-CHORUS)

You… pull me in like some kind of wind,

Steer me through all the doubts within,

Make me brave enough to tell ya...

…That I…

(CHORUS)

Love you as one does.

I, I would protect you 

At all costs.

Face the storm, and all the odds.

I, I will protect you 

At all costs.

At all costs.

(VERSE 2)

E: How to say… the words that I wish to convey?

That I want this, too. Even if I tried to,

I can’t go back to life before you.

If someone tried to stop this, there’s no

Way I’d let that happen.

I'd fight for us in ways you can't imagine.

I’ve felt this once before, so I hope

It would be alright to stand right here and tell you…

(CHORUS)

B: I love you as one does.

I, I will protect you 

At all costs.

Hold you right here in my heart.

I, I will protect you 

At all costs!

At all costs!

(BRIDGE)

If you're ever feeling like you're lost,

I’ll come find you!

Man all fronts! There's no ocean I won't swim across

To be right by you!

And not just once. Here and now, I swear on my response,

I'll remind you…

(FINAL CHORUS)

I love you as one does.

I, I will protect you 

At all costs!

Keep you safe here in my arms!

I, I will protect you 

At all costs!

At all costs.

(END)

-

Debated whether or not to do this after posting the Jack Frost This Is The Thanks I Get?!, and finally hearing this for the first time. I got giddy, as this is definitely one of the top songs from the Wish soundtrack, and it struck me as odd that the villain, who in the movie was married, and the protagonist would sing something that sounded... well, romantic.

After seeing Wish for the context of it, and later discovering the Demo Version, learning that it WAS originally written as a love song, well... I had to go back and tweak my original draft.

@doodlemel's Animatic of them singing this song definitely didn't help, either. XD

I had to tweak bits that weren't making sense for Jack to say, especially parts that Magnifico said in the movie that kinda hinted to his more flawed persona. Because Jack is a good guy, but also someone who has never experienced these kinda feelings before, as well as also dealing with a lot of mistakes and trauma that influence his perception of whether or not his feelings are genuine, and whether he has a right to feel these feelings.

Elsa, for her part. is more straightforward, remarkably. Because I headcanon that she fell in love first, but Jack was being Shonen Protagonist oblivious to it. And by the time he started feeling a spark of something similar, stuff had already happened between them that they needed to clear up. But her feelings for him never really went away, even if she got better at hiding them. So when she hears him FINALLY admit that he feels the same way, she doesn't have to hide anymore. She lets him say his piece, and responds in kind.

Ultimately, I didn't really change much but the first parts where they sing, and parts of the choruses. Especially the “love” parts, as I just HAD to incorporate the original Demo Version into it. It's telling a sort of story. Of them slowly synchronizing once more, and finally ending with them being of one mind and heart.

For to love on a spectrum that has both beings as one, in my opinion, is truly a beautiful thing.

[gardenwalrus]

Thelma Pickles, John Lennon’s first girlfriend at Liverpool College of Art, on her relationship with John 

My first impression of John was that he was a smartarse. I was 16; a friend introduced us at Liverpool College of Art when we were waiting to register. There was a radio host at the time called Wilfred Pickles whose catchphrase was "Give them the money, Mabel!". When John heard my name he asked "Any relation to Wilfred?", which I was sick of hearing. Then a girl breezed in and said, "Hey John, I hear your mother's dead", and I felt absolutely sick. He didn't flinch, he simply replied, "Yeah". "It was a policeman that knocked her down, wasn't it?" Again he didn't react, he just said, "That's right, yeah." His mother had been killed two months earlier. I was stunned by his detachment, and impressed that he was brave enough to not break down or show any emotion. Of course, it was all a front. When we were alone together he was really soft, thoughtful and generous-spirited. Clearly his mother's death had disturbed him. We both felt that we'd been dealt a raw deal in our family circumstances, which drew us together. During the first week of college we had a pivotal conversation. I'd assumed that he lived with his dad but he told me, "My dad pissed off when I was a baby." Mine had too – I wasn't a baby, I was 10. It had such a profound effect on me that I would never discuss it with anyone. Nowadays one-parent families are common but then it was something shameful. After that it was like we were two against the world.

I went to his house soon after. It seemed really posh to me, brought up in a council house. We were alone, he showed me round and we had a bit of a kiss and a cuddle in his bedroom. Paul and George came round and we all had beans on toast, then they played their guitars in the kitchen. I had to leave early because Mimi wouldn't allow girls in the house. She was very strict. She wouldn't let him wear drainpipe trousers so he used to put other trousers over the top and remove them after he left the house. We used to take afternoons off to go to a picture-house called the Palais de Luxe where he liked to see horror films. I remember we went to see Elvis in Jailhouse Rock at the Odeon. He didn't take his glasses. We were holding hands and he kept yanking my hand saying, "What's happening now Thel?" John was enormous fun to be with, always witty, even if it was a cruel wit. Any minor frailty in somebody he'd detect with a laser-like homing device. We all thought it was hilarious but it wasn't funny to the recipients. Apart from the first instance, where he mocked my name, I never experienced it until I ended our relationship. We were close until around Easter of the following year, 1959. At an art school dance he took me to a darkened classroom. We went thinking we'd have it to ourselves but it was evident from the din that we weren't alone. I wasn't going to have an intimate soirée with other people present. I refused to stay, and he yanked me back and whacked me one. He had aggressive traits, mainly verbal, but never in private had he ever been aggressive - quite the opposite. Once he'd hit me that was it for me, I wouldn't speak to him. That one violent incident put paid to any closeness we had. I took care to not bump into him for a while. I didn't miss drinking at Ye Cracke with him but I missed the closeness we had. Still, we were friendly enough by the end of the next term. Because he did no work, he was on the brink of failure, so I loaned him some of my work, which I never got back. I've never wondered what might have been. It sounds disingenuous, but I wouldn't like to have been married to John – that would be quite a gargantuan task! He would've been 70 next year and I just cannot imagine a 70-year-old John Lennon. I'd be fearful that the fire would've gone out.

- Interview within Imogen Carter, ‘John Lennon, the boy we knew’, The Guardian (Dec 2009)

Thelma also briefly dated Paul McCartney and later married Mike McCartney’s bandmate, Roger McGough, in 1970.

Thelma also gives more detail of her relationship with John in Ray Coleman's 1984 John Lennon biography. Just to note, she mentions towards the end of the section that their romantic relationship just petered out, and John was never physically violent with her - it's likely the case that by the 2009 Guardian interview above, she would've felt more free to speak about John hitting her as the reason for the relationship's end, rather than this being two contrasting stories.

A year younger than John, Thelma was to figure in one of his most torrid teenage affairs before he met Cynthia.  Their friendship blossomed in a spectacular conversation one day as they walked after college to the bus terminus in Castle Street. In no hurry to get home, they sat on the steps of the Queen Victoria monument for a talk.  ‘I knew his mother had been killed and asked if his father was alive,’ says Thelma. ‘Again, he said in this very impassive and objective way: “No, he pissed off and left me when I was a baby.” I suddenly felt very nervous and strange. My father had left me when I was ten. Because of that, I had a huge chip on my shoulder. In those days, you never admitted you came from a broken home. You could never discuss it with anybody and people like me, who kept the shame of it secret, developed terrific anxieties. It was such a relief to me when he said that. For the first time, I could say to someone: “Well, so did mine.”’ 

At first Thelma registered that he didn’t care about his fatherless childhood. ‘As I got to know him, he obviously cared. But what I realised quickly was that he and I had an aggression towards life that stemmed entirely from our messy home lives.’ Their friendship developed, not as a cosy love match but as teenage kids with chips on their shoulders. ‘It was more a case of him carrying my things to the bus stop for me, or going to the cinema together, before we became physically involved.’ John, when she knew him, would have laughed at people who were seen arm in arm.’ It wasn't love's young dream. We had a strong affinity through our backgrounds and we resented the strictures that were placed upon us. We were fighting against the rules of the day. If you were a girl of sixteen like me, you had to wear your beret to school, be home at a certain time, and you couldn't wear make-up. A bloke like John would have trouble wearing skin-tight trousers and generally pleasing himself, especially with his strict aunt. We were always being told what we couldn’t do. He and I had a rebellious streak, so it was awful. We couldn't wait to grow up and tell everyone to get lost. Mimi hated his tight trousers and my mother hated my black stockings. It was a horrible time to be young!’ Lennon's language was ripe and fruity for the 1950s, and so was his wounding tongue. In Ye Cracke, one night after college, John rounded on Thelma in front of several students, and was crushingly rude to her. She forgets exactly what he said, but remembers her blistering attack on him: ‘Don't blame me,’ said Thelma, ‘just because your mother's dead.’ It was something of a turning point. John went quiet, but now he had respect for the girl who would return his own viciousness with a sentence that was equally offensive. ‘Most people stopped short,' says Thelma. ‘They were probably frightened of him, and on occasions there were certainly fights. But with me, he met someone with almost the same background and edge. We got on well, but I wasn't taking any of his verbal cruelty.’

When they were together, though, the affinity was special, with a particular emphasis on sick humour. Thelma says categorically that John and she laughed at afflicted or elderly people ���as something to mock, a joke’. It was not anything deeply psychological like fear of them, or sympathy, she says. ‘Not to be charitable to ourselves, we both actually disliked these people rather than sympathised,’ says Thelma. ‘Maybe it was related to being artistic and liking things to be aesthetic all the time. But it just wasn't sympathy. I really admired his directness, his ability to verbalise all the things I felt amusing.’ He developed an instinctive ability to mock the weak, for whom he had no patience.  He developed an instinctive ability to mock the weak, for whom he had no patience. In the early 1950s, Britain had National Service conscription for men aged eighteen and over who were medically fit. John seized on this as his way of ridiculing many people who were physically afflicted. ‘Ah, you're just trying to get out of the army,’ he jeered at men in wheelchairs being guided down Liverpool's fashionable Bold Street, or ‘How did you lose your legs? Chasing the wife?’ He ran up behind frail old women and made them jump with fright, screaming 'Boo' into their ears. ‘Anyone limping, or crippled or hunchbacked, or deformed in any way, John laughed and ran up to them to make horrible faces. I laughed with him while feeling awful about it,’ says Thelma. ‘If a doddery old person had nearly fallen over because John had screamed at her, we'd be laughing. We knew it shouldn't be done. I was a good audience, but he didn't do it just for my benefit.’ When a gang of art college students went to the cinema, John would shout out, to their horror, ‘Bring on the dancing cripples.’ says Thelma. ‘Perhaps we just hadn’t grown out of it. He would pull the most grotesque faces and try to imitate his victims.’ 

Often, when he was with her, he would pass Thelma his latest drawings of grotesquely afflicted children with misshapen limbs. The satirical Daily Howl that he had ghoulishly passed around at Quarry Bank School was taken several stages beyond the gentle, prodding humour he doled out against his former school teachers. ‘He was merciless,’ says Thelma Pickles. ‘He had no remorse or sadness for these people. He just thought it was funny.’ He told her he felt bitter about people who had an easy life. ‘I found him magnetic,’ says Thelma, ‘because he mirrored so much of what was inside me, but I was never bold enough to voice.’  Thel, as John called her, became well aware of John's short-sightedness on their regular trips to the cinema. They would ‘sag off’ college in the afternoons to go to the Odeon in London Road or the Palais de Luxe, to see films like Elvis Presley in Jailhouse Rock and King Creole. ‘He’d never pay,’ says Thelma. ‘He never had any money.’ Whether he had his horn-rimmed spectacles with him or not, John would not wear them in the cinema. He told her he didn’t like them for the same reason that he hated deformity in people: wearing specs was a sign of weakness. Just as he did not want to see crutches or wheelchairs without laughing, John wouldn't want to be laughed at. So he very rarely wore his specs, even though the black horn-rimmed style was a copy of his beloved Buddy Holly.  ‘So in the cinema we sat near the front and it would be: “What’s happening now, Thel?” “Who’s that, Thel?” He couldn’t follow the film but he wouldn’t put his specs on, even if he had them.’

[...] It was not a big step from cinema visits and mutual mocking of people for John and Thelma to go beyond the drinking sessions in Ye Cracke. ‘It wasn't love’s young dream, but I had no other boyfriends while I was going out with John and as far as I knew he was seeing nobody except me.’  On the nights that John's Aunt Mimi was due to go out for the evening to play bridge, Thelma and John met on a seat in a brick-built shelter on the golf course opposite the house in Menlove Avenue. When the coast was clear and they saw Mimi leaving, they would go into the house. ‘He certainly didn’t have a romantic attitude to sex,’ says Thelma. ‘He used to say that sex was equivalent to a five-mile run, which I’d never heard before. He had a very disparaging attitude to girls who wanted to be involved with him but wouldn’t have sex with him. ‘“They’re edge-of-the-bed virgins,” he said.  ‘I said: “What does that mean?” ‘He said: “They get you to the edge of the bed and they’ll not complete the act.” ‘He hated that. So if you weren’t going to go to bed with him, you had to make damned sure you weren’t going to go to the edge of the bed either. If you did, he’d get very angry. ‘If you were prepared to go to his bedroom, which was above the front porch, and start embarking on necking and holding hands, and you weren’t prepared to sleep with him, then he didn’t want to know you. You didn’t do it. It wasn’t worth losing his friendship. So if you said, “No”, then that was OK. He’d then play his guitar or an Everly Brothers record. Or we’d got to the pictures. He would try to persuade you to sleep with him, though.  ‘He was no different from any young bloke except that if you led him on and gave the impression you would embark on any kind of sexual activity and then didn’t, he'd be very abusive. It was entirely lust. 

[...] Thelma was John’s girlfriend for six months. ‘It just petered out,’ she says. ‘I certainly didn’t end it. He didn’t either. We still stayed part of the same crowd of students. When we were no longer close, he was more vicious to me in company than before. I was equally offensive back. That way you got John’s respect. Her memory of her former boyfriend is of a teenager ‘very warm and thoughtful inside. Part of him was gentle and caring. He was softer and gentler when we were alone than when we were in a crowd. He was never physically violent with me - just verbally aggressive, and he knew how to hurt. There was a fight with him involved once, in the canteen, but he’d been drinking. He wasn’t one to pick a fight. He often enraged someone with his tongue and he’d been on the edge of it, but he loathed physical violence really. He’d be scared. John avoided real trouble.’

- Within Ray Coleman, John Winston Lennon: 1940-66 vol.1 (1984)

[littlemarianah]

POV. Peeta

A story about Rye Mellark.

I never expected a second child...

Willow had just stopped wearing diapers. She was a happy and laughing girl. She ran around the house with loud footsteps and jumped into my lap when I came home from work.

She was a miracle. Katniss got pregnant after almost a year of trying, after more than a decade of planning. The pregnancy was slow and difficult. Katniss looked completely destroyed every time I looked at her. I thought she would be the only one.

One day Katniss looked at me and said:

"I'm ready for one more."

And I asked "one more what?"

"Kid!" She answered me in the most obvious way possible. She spoke as if I had asked for one more. She always thought I wanted to have a big family. But I never said that. I think she was the one who wanted it, but didn't have the courage to admit it.

She started having dreams about a girl with blonde hair. She told me that this time she would be just like me, since Willow was so much like her. She was sure she was going to be a girl and we were going to name her Pearl.

In her first pregnancy, she craved wild berries, game meat, and forest roots; all the food she got in the forest, but she couldn't go and get it because of her huge belly and the harsh winter before Willow was born.

This time, even before she got pregnant, she wanted sweet and soft things. Like orange cakes, cinnamon rolls and gingerbread. She made me happy when she asked me for something that she was capable of doing. I cooked everything she wanted.

It didn't take long to finally become pregnant. Pregnancy was very different than the first time.

She was constantly smiling.

Her sexual desire was uncontrollable. She would drag me into the bakery storage room or onto the living room couch when Willow was taking a nap. She vocalized like she never did. She called me names or said things I never imagined would come out of her mouth.

She hunted almost every day and always made new dishes for us. She had much more strength than before. Once she dragged an entire deer from the forest to our house. I worried about how much effort she was putting in when she was nine months pregnant.

Rye was born at almost 42 weeks, her birth took a whole day and night. He was born on one of the hottest days in August. He was so fat and chubby that Willow's newborn clothes didn't even fit him.

Katniss thought he was a lot like me. Everyone talked about how Rye was my copy. Especially when he turned into a tall, burly, blonde teenager. But I always thought he looked like his mother. Even more so than Willow, who had Katniss's long, black hair.

Rye had Katniss's brave, silver eyes. They both had eagle eyes. Suspicious and attentive to everything. He had her sharp ears. And he had his talent for hunting. His hands were definitely like mine though. Thick fingers and large palms. Great for kneading bread.

At 14, he was already taller than his sister and mother. At 16, he looked 20. I didn't want him to help me at the bakery so soon, but I was old. Carrying those bags of flour all day with just one leg was too much for me at almost 50 years old. I was too weak for that. Rye started helping me when he was 15 and was much stronger than I was at his age. He had a talent in the kitchen. His breads were always perfect.

He was handsome but shy. He looked like my brother Bran, without the heartthrob charm. The girls seemed to like him. They always showed up at the bakery and bought a single cookie just to talk to him. Even though Rye looked older, he was still just a teenager. He would shrug his shoulders, get red in the face and flee to the kitchen as soon as he could.

He never had many friends. He spoke little. He would run away from school to go to the forest like Katniss used to do. She couldn't stay mad at him for that.

"He'll learn much more in the forest than at school." she said

I always warned him, but he said it was just this time. And he ended up coming home with a basket of berries and a fox again.

Rye was growing up and different from Willow, who went to study nursing far from District 12. He didn't want to leave our side. He kept carrying the heavy bags of flour for me and going into the forest to hunt with his mother.

He was always very kind, even too much.

He always let his sister have the biggest piece of pie for dessert.

He always helped me up the stairs, my legs becoming weaker as I got older.

One day I saw him talking at the back of the bakery. He whispered and a voice whispered back. They were giggling. She was a short girl with short brown hair. She started coming almost every day. Then they talked, giggled, and she left.

Until one day, they decided to get married. They were never engaged, and no one even knew that they were seeing each other. If Katniss liked to be secretive from the world, Rye was even more so. He didn't have a wedding and only invited me, Katniss, and Willow.

He just asked me to make a small cake with white icing and raspberry jam inside.

Rye's wife, Piper, was quieter than him. She had big brown eyes and got along very well with Katniss. The two used to sing. Piper knew how to please Katniss in a way I've never seen anyone else do.

The two moved to a cabin in the middle of the forest. 20 minutes walking from our house.

Then came the first granddaughter. A girl with black hair and honey eyes. Willow delivered her niece, there wouldn't be anyone better than her to do it. Since she had been a midwife for over five years at that time.

I remember the day Piper arrived at the door of our house with her belly too big for her. Rye hammered the door with his heavy hands, almost knocking it down. She moaned and cried until Katniss held her in her arms and carried her upstairs. Willow ran out with washcloths and basins of water. We never talk much about it, but Rye said she didn't have any family besides us.

Piper was so scared. She didn't seem to scream in pain, with each contraction she screamed in fear.

"Don't worry, Piper. All births are the same." I heard Willow say.

The girl asked me and Rye to wait outside. She didn't want us in there. Me and Rye sat outside and he put his head in his knees and didn't move until the baby cried. When she screamed from there, he moaned from here.

"Daddy, do you think she's going to die?" He asked me.

"She's much stronger than you imagine." I said.

And it was true.

They were parents at such a young age. Rye was 23 and she was 22. Such a hairy and chubby girl was born.

I later discovered that Katniss's black hair was the dominant gene in the family. They had four children. All with black hair.

Katniss lived more in the cabin they had in the forest than in our own house.

She taught our grandchildren songs and songs. She told about sewing and coal mines. She talked about her father. She talked about Prim. She talked about her late Great-Grandmother Ruth, who Rye's children never got to meet. She talked about her goat Lady Di.

"Where's your leg, grandpa?" the youngest boy asked me.

"I lost it in the Games."

"What games?" He responded.

They didn't know about them. That was something I could never get used to.

When my oldest granddaughter turned 12, we cut a cake and celebrated. That year marked the 50th anniversary of the end of the war.

[spankingwishes2]

Covering for Sophie

After my first year of junior college, I’m checking out universities I might attend at the end of this year - and Sophie is travelling with me.  Some town I’m likely never to return to is the perfect place for fun!  At the same time, Sophie has been telling me that getting a good spanking ‘would be good for my soul’ (our mom spanks her, it seems like all the time!) and when we stay with someone who might be ‘suitable’ (I’ve ruled out Mom and Grandma), I consider getting one.

Mrs. B is, of course, a friend of Mom’s from way back - not someone I know personally, I’d say.  So when we stayed with her I thought she might be a good choice.

“We’ll do what we want, and I’ll get caught, and we’ll both say you had nothing to do with it,” I suggested.  “God knows you’ve been spanked plenty of times when I should have been right there with you.”

“I can do that,” Sophie agreed.  “Plus, it’ll be for something minor, right?”  I have a lot of major misbehaviors that I am hesitant to just toss out there and get punished for.

“Flashing?” I suggested.  Sophie can never resist flashing.  “You can get spanked later, after we’ve done some more.”  We had lots of places we planned to visit before I made a choice - and after a certain amount of ‘misbehavior’, Sophie always wants to be brought back down to earth.

“Okay - what, with pictures?”

“You can keep mine on your phone and then show Mrs. B some of the campus… and ‘accidentally’ scroll too far.  I’ll put yours on the cloud.”

Sophie giggled.  This was a go.

***

“What in the world were you thinking, Lauren?” Mrs. B thundered at me.

“I don’t know… just… fun…” I said, trying to sound contrite, my heart beating a mile a minute.

“Mom would take a hairbrush to her,” Sophie volunteered for me!

“Please don’t tell her…” I whined.

“And why did you take the picture, Sophie?”

“I asked her to,” I claimed - which I suppose was true.  “You know, part of the… fun.”

“Your mom is right - you need a dose of the hairbrush!”

“Please don’t tell her!  I don’t deserve two!” I said bravely, basically asking her to do it.  It was exciting - but scary!

“I guess…” Mrs. B said dubiously.  “Get in here - both of you!” she told us, pointing to the bedroom.  “Sophie, just in case you were thinking this was a good idea… well, just watch.

“And Lauren, get out of that dress!”

A second later her mouth dropped as I threw the dress over my head - I had nothing underneath. 

Whatever hesitation or sympathy she had for me vaporized and I couldn’t believe how fast she moved!  In seconds she had a big heavy hairbrush in hand, chair set, dragging me in and leg-locked over one knee!

“You - young lady - are going to find out - that just because you’re away from home - you cannot do - whatever you please!” she lectured as she walloped my bottom!  She had nothing in mind apart from hard fast swats to the lower part of my bottom, start, to (apparently) finish!

“You will - still - act like - the proper - young lady - your mother raised!”  God, that hairbrush hurt!  And if I didn’t keep my arms straight, she spanked even lower - which was worse!

I think poor Sophie was in tears almost before I was!

“I - won’t tell - your mother - but - I will - see that - you get - every spank you - have coming to you!”

I could tell she was breathing hard but she wasn’t letting up.  She just stopped scolding to focus on spanking - and ‘focus’ she did!

***

That very night Sophie asked if I thought the spanking had done me good.

“Ask me in a week,” I said.  But even at bedtime, lying on my stomach (and my hand (blush)) I thought about the whole idea of being spanked like that by some omniscient ‘watched’ who knew when I’d done wrong!  (No, not Santa Claus… or, not necessarily Santa Claus.)  Do wrong - spanking.  Do wrong when I know it’s wrong - double spanking!  Yikes!

I didn’t have the privacy that night to enjoy myself properly, but I knew that once I was home I’d look back on this with intense excitement - and time, so far, has proven me right!

Sophie and I have dozens of campuses to visit - she may be thinking about grad school - and while I don’t know how often we’ll have someone to stay with - or how often it could go as seamlessly as this time - it could just happen again!  And next time I’ll see that Sophie gets spanked as well!

[lyaswriting]

A Second Chance

Childe x Female!God!reader Reincarnation AU

Trigger Warnings: Blood, death, no beta we die like Rex Lapis

„I will return to you. Pinky promise.“

The whispered promise still lingered in her mind, where it had been for centuries, as Y/N walked through the park outside of a changed Mondstadt, quickly looking before crossing the street so she wouldn‘t be hit by a car, while taking a sip from her coffee. So she entered the park, that looked like it was a bit of a window into a past she sometimes barely remembered for how long it had been. Yet here she could still sometimes sit down and remember, occasionally still having to defend from a few slimes or other elemental beings, but to Y/N it was worth it, if only for the memories. Y/N had watched, as the times had changed after the fall of Celestia, after visions were no longer necessary to control elemental powers and after humanity decided to take matters into their own hands. She had watched as civilizations had risen and fallen, as people had embarked on journeys greater than they could imagine, as lovers had found their way back to each other, proving themselves that true love does exist.

And yet, Y/N thought, mine is the exception. As her lover had never returned, even though he promised. But he had tried, oh how he had fought to come back to her, but in the end it hadn‘t been enough.

And so, to make peace with the past or to not forget it, she didn‘t really know, she began writing down the stories, and adventures she had seen and lived. And she had written many about her once friends, as she felt each of their stories deserved to be told. And yet, as if to mock her once more, none sold better than the Story about the True Love between the Harbinger and the Goddess of Dreams. Although people often complained about the story having such a grim ending. But that was the harsh truth, that some stories did not have a happy ending.

If she listened into herself she could still remember their first meeting as if it had been merely days ago. She had just awoken from a slumber the Sustainer of Heavenly Principles had put her under, so she had decided to join Aether, the brave outlander, in his cause and traveled the world. That was when she had met the ginger haired Harbinger in Liyue, before the Rite of Descension.

In the Guili Plains she had fought some vishaps that had attacked her, she remembered, and was close to winning the fight, growing confident in her powers, as someone jumped into the middle of the fight, flashing two identical hydro blades, and before she knew it, the vishaps lay dead before them.

„Excuse me, but I had that under control!“, Y/N told the young man a bit rudely, who in return only put away the blades, and turned around slowly, grinning.

„Is that so?“, he said, looking her over before looking at her mildly enraged face.

„Yes. I was testing my fighting abilities, not to mention cutting in, jumping in without asking if I need help is rude.“

„I‘m sorry then. I can see now that you are perfectly capable of handling yourself. Maybe I can take you out to dinner, as an apology?“, he offered, while trying to look guilty, and failing.

„Do you always ask out women this way? Try to charm them after saving their lives?“

„So you do admit I saved your life?“, and he‘d smirked, oh that smirk.

„I did not mean it that way.“

„Of course you didn‘t“

„You didn‘t even tell me your name yet“, she bit back then, which he countered„And you didn‘t give me an answer“

„Fine, if you insist.“

„Perfect, I‘m Ajax by the way.“, he said, a dashing smile on his face, and equally smiling she answered,„Y/N“.

A little smile snuck onto her face, before it faded and she remembered how the whole story had ended. It had been centuries, and yet her heart had not healed. Some people you love so much that they leave a mark behind when they go, Zhongli had once said after the Battle against Celestia, familiar of the pain Y/N felt. And sometimes, he had said, they refuse to leave either, returning one way or another. But that was only wishful thinking, she knew, as she looked down at her hands, still almost seeing the blood that had stained them so long ago.

She‘d found the Harbinger after the battle, but instead of being fine like he promised, there was a gaping wound in his stomach, leaking blood just like the dozens of cuts on his body. His eyes had lighted up at seeing her, even if his smile was more melancholic as she kneeled next to him.

„Hey girlie.“

„What… you‘ll be fine. We‘ll get you to Barbara or Baizhu. You‘ll be fine.“

At that, he raised a hand to cup her cheek, making her look at him.

„Girlie, it‘s too late. Even if you…“, he coughed at this moment, she remembered, and he‘d coughed up blood, „even if they come… I used Foul Legacy for too long… my life is spent.“

„No, no, no… This cannot be. There has to be a way, I‘m a goddess, that has to count for something… I can figure something out, I just need time…“, Tears streamed down her face at this point violently shaking her, as she felt his breathing slow down, his voice raspy, „I wish we‘d have that time. But you, Y/N, were the best thing I could have hoped for. You were my dream.“

„Please don‘t leave me, I can‘t… I can‘t…“

„I will return to you. Pinky promise.“

Those had been the last words the Harbinger had ever said. And since then, every year she had returned to the park, to the same tree he had leaned against in his final moments, as if it could somehow make her feel closer to him.

That was when she heard it in the distance by the lake, fighting noices near the lake.

„If it is those damn hydro slimes again, I swear…“, she muttered under her breath, as she ran to the lake, already summoning her powers in her hand, throwing it at the slimes as soon as she saw them, apparently much to the dismay of their opponent.

„And here I thought I‘d get a little practice, but I guess not…“, the guy muttered.

That voice, that voice she had heard in her own dreams for a few hundred years now. It couldn‘t be, could it?

Y/N turned around, her heart beating so fast she would be scared if she weren‘t a goddess. And there he stood, as if he had never been gone, ginger hair tousled from the fight, hydro blades still in his hands.

„Anything particular you are staring at? Wanna spar perhaps after you destroyed my guinea pigs?“

He still had a playful tone, she noticed, but one look told her, that he didn‘t know who she was. Her heart sank a bit, before she caught herself, nearly laughing at the irony of their meeting.

„I… I‘m sorry, that was rude. I just thought someone might need help again and then I jumped in, completely disregarding your apparent dislike for help… I‘m sorry.“

„Apology accepted.“

„Even though, with those blades you wouldn‘t have gotten far against them, you know that right? Hydro vs Hydro and all.“

„Opinion noted.“

She laughed at that, an idea forming in her head.

„Opinion? You‘re welcome. But if you insist, may I take you out on dinner, to make it up?“

He studied her then, something seemingly pulling him in.

„I‘m sorry, I didn‘t get your name, did I? I‘m Ajax.“, and with that he stretched out his hand to her, which she shook, and smiled.

„I‘m Y/N“.

Ajax paused for a second, a feeling gnawing at him, as if he should remember something he doesn‘t, it was easy to read for Y/N, after all she had known him once before.

„Have we met once before?“, he asked, staring at her curiously.

„We kind of did. But I think you wouldn‘t believe me if I told you, it‘s apparently kind of a neverending story…“, she answered truthfully, looking into his blue eyes, full of life this time, and more mesmerizing than ever.

„Try me“, he said then, „maybe at that dinner you offered?“

And he smirked, oh that smirk.

And Y/N smiled too.

Maybe Zhongli had been right, that some people are bound to each other, and maybe Ajax had kept his promise too, he had found a way to return to Y/N.

[littlelonelyone]

All Along (George Weasley x Reader)

Warning: 17+, Fluff, Pining, Smut, Fingering, Oral Sex (F), Happy Ending.

Description: Reader has been crushing on George since Year 3 and never tells him about her feelings for him. She notices everything about the boy, even how to tell him apart from his twin. After a certain conversation with her friends one night, Reader finally has the courage to talk to George.

HELLO this doesn’t follow the books! Also this might be the longest fic I ever wrote to date so please forgive me. Hehe enjoy. Check out my other stories as well, thanks! :) <3

I was in love with George Weasley.

I mean who wouldn’t be after all of his crazy antics and all that he’s done for me. I first noticed him in Year 1 while I was waiting to be sorted into a house. I looked around out of curiosity at all the students who had gone through and watched this exact ceremony during their first year. I scanned the room thoroughly, finding some friendly faces who seemed excited about the new students that year and were smiling down at us and then coming across other faces who looked like they just wanted this to be over and done with.

That’s when my eyes found him. Tousled untamed red hair and a huge smile. He was chattering away with the group of people who surrounded him and someone beside him who I now realized was his twin. I watched as he threw his head back in laughter and I suddenly felt the warmest feeling in my chest. I wondered if he felt me staring as he looked in my direction and we made eye contact for a brief moment. Staring back at one another and I watched as his lips slowly curled into a smile. I was the first to break contact due to hearing my name being called.

“(Y/N L/N)” my ears perked up at the sound of my name and I turned around to look at Professor McGonagall who was already looking back at me. I moved through the small crowd of newcomers and confidently headed up the steps towards the stool so I could sit down. Almost immediately after I sat, the sorting hat announced that I would excel in Gryffindor and that was that. The table to my left cheered loudly when they heard the name of their house being called once again. Gryffindor was having a good day, almost the majority of new students had been sorted into their house. My gaze returned to the orange haired boy that I noticed earlier. He was already gazing back at me and cheering. We held eye contact as I made my way over to the Gryffindor table and upon my arrival, he extended his hand out to shake mine and introduced himself. “Hello I’m George Weasley, pleasure to have you here.”

From that very first interaction, George and I had become fast friends. I got to know him better that year and learned that he and Fred, who was his twin brother, just made it onto the Quidditch team. George was a year older than I so for him it was his 2nd Year. Despite our short age difference I had always been welcomed into Georges friend group and also became best friends with Katie Bell, who was the teams chaser.

Although George and I had been friends first, it wasn’t until my 3rd Year when I realized I liked my tall friend. I was sitting down by the black lake thinking of home when suddenly George appeared by my side and asked me what was wrong, in which I didn’t want to burden him with my feelings and simply told him I was fine. He insisted and told me he would listen to me talk about whatever it was that was bothering me. So eventually I caved and told him how I felt kind of lonely since being at Hogwarts was my first time living so far away from my parents and that I really struggled during my first year. I thought he was amazing for staying and listening to me as I vented and I realized that he was a good person. George told me my feelings were valid and basically had this entire speech about being brave and said that if I ever felt lonely, I could always go looking for him and he wouldn’t turn me away. I was touched and told him how I really appreciated him. It wasn’t until he pulled me into a hug and started curling my hair around his finger out of comfort that I had become conscious of him. No one else knew this but my mom used to do that same thing with my hair whenever I was having a rough day and she could always soothe me. My tense body immediately relaxed and George noticed right away. This moment was what started it all and I began thinking, “Maybe I like George more than a friend.”

At first I was in denial but was shut down immediately when I noticed I couldn’t look at Fred in the same way that I viewed his twin brother. Even though they were identical, I always knew which twin was which. After I came to the conclusion that I had feelings for George, I decided it would be best for me to ignore them. I continued to make excuses for myself and tried to stay at a distance but George kept pushing to be in my life and started being even nicer to me. The younger twin didn’t want his friend to feel lonely like she did in her 3rd year so after that he always kept an eye on her. He didn’t even realize (Y/N) was hopelessly crushing on him.

It was now Year 6, it was the twins 7th year. George was one of my good friends. Both of us were apart of the same friend group so we usually spent a lot of time with them as a collective. Currently I was lounging on the couch in the common room waiting for nothing in particular when George descended from the stairs and made his way over the minute his eyes fell upon me, “Hi.” He sat down and leaned his head onto my shoulder. “Hi Fred…” I joked. One of the many things that never failed to amuse me was when they didn’t believe I could tell them apart so I would purposely call the brothers by the wrong name. George scoffed dramatically, “You say you can tell us apart but hear you are calling out the name of my brother, this is blasphemy!” I clicked my teeth with my tongue and scolded him for his theatrics. “You know damn well I know who you are George Weasley.” I reassured him and looked away to stare into the crackling fire. “I could identify you even if my eyes were closed and I heard the sound of your voice.” I admitted. I didn’t know George was currently staring at me with raised eyebrows and was about to speak when we heard the rest of our friends enter the portrait hole and come join us around the fire.

~

After that little moment with (Y/N) in the common room, George couldn’t help but wonder throughout the rest of the week why his younger friend was able to identify him and his twin without failure. Did they really spend that much time together where she had the opportunity to observe them both and make out what skin blemishes one twin had and the other one didn’t? He really didn’t have the answer to that question since nobody in their 17 years of life was ever able to successfully tell them apart, until now. Even their own mother had difficulties telling the twins apart. The thought of his younger friend taking the time to decipher which twin was which made George smile. No one had ever taken the time to figure out anything about him and his brother. People decided to lump them in as Fred&George, as if they were conjoined twins. The fact (Y/N) could see the twins as their own individual person filled his heart with joy. George was pulled from his thoughts when he was approached by Alicia Spinnet, one of his old friends.

Somewhere in the school, (Y/N) was mindlessly strolling into parts of the castle that she had never been to before but she was too zoned out to come back to reality and correct herself so she continued walking until she heard giggling coming from a nearby classroom and it pulled her out of her thoughts. It was a girl and a boy. Normally she would have kept walking but the sound of the boys laugh caught her attention. She heard that same laugh way too many times for her to misidentify him. (Y/N) gravitated towards the sound of the laugh like a cartoon character who had just smelled a fresh pie in the window. Sure enough, inside the room sat Alicia Spinnet with George and she was flirting with him. I bit the inside of my cheek then did a U turn on my heel and got the heck out of there. I did not want to see that. I ran back in the direction of my dorm.

“And yeah I just wanted to see if you would like to go for a butter beer with me this weekend?” Alicia giggled and asked George on a date after their conversation about being partnered up in Transfiguration and how she had such a fun time. George was about to agree when the image of (Y/N) popped up in his head and he stopped in his tracks. He decided to take that as a sign not to go and instead declined the invitation and apologized. After they parted ways he began looking for the girl that was now on his mind. Why did he have this odd feeling. George sighed and pushed the thought out of his head. He began looking for (Y/N).

(Y/N) had grumpily made her way back to the dorms where her best friend Katie Bell was hanging out and doing homework with their mutual friend Angelina.

Upon my arrival to said dorm, I plopped onto my bed and buried my head in a pillow. Katie noticed immediately and excused herself to come over to my bed. She sat down next to me and began running her fingers through my thick locks and asked what was bothering me. I shook my head and grumbled, “Nothing just tired.” But she knew better than that. Katie knew me like the back of her hand. She began taking individual locks of hair and curling it around her finger knowing this action was my weakness and I would soon cave and tell her what was on my mind.

I sighed and turned my head to look at her. “That’s not fair! You know I can’t be upset when you do that.” I let my eyes close as Katie continued curling my hair around her finger. “I feel like you already know what I’m about to say..” I whispered and started to chew on my bottom lip. Katie chuckled and nodded, “Unfortunately, I know you more than you know yourself.” “At this point I’m pretty sure everyone does.” I said whilst sitting up and started staring at my hands. “It’s just.. it’s not like I want to be in love with one of my best friends but I can’t help what I feel! He’s always there with his nice face and kind words making sure I’m alright and he’s always hugging me or leaning on me, what am I supposed to do or how am I supposed to react!?” I exclaimed. Angelina looked over at her friends. She felt bad for her friend who couldn’t admit to her feelings in fear of ruining the dynamic that she and George had with each other. Angelina made her way over to her friends and knelt down next to Katie. “You know (Y/N), you could always just tell him how you feel about him. George cares about you so much and I know he would never hurt you. But right now you’re hurting yourself and it’s time to accept these feelings or move on.” With that being said, Angelina tucked a strand of hair behind (Y/N)’s ear and exited their shared dorm. The dark haired girl had always been the blunt one out of the trio and always said what others didn’t want to hear.

My eyes drifted to my best friend and I gasped dramatically at the way she was looking at me. Like as if she agreed with what Angelina was saying. “Come on K not you too!” I whined and pushed her hand away from my head. She began to slowly nod as if she was hesitant to disagree with her best friend in fear she would be upset with her. I rolled my eyes. We sat in silence for a while just thinking before I obnoxiously sighed, knowing there was no other way around this and my friends were right. It was time for me to let go of these feelings. Either he felt the same way and would reciprocate my feelings or I was about to make a huge mistake but I deserved to think with a clear head. “Okay!” I finally agreed. “Okay?” Katie looked kind of shocked. “Okay. Im going to tell him how I feel!” Katie tackled me out of joy knowing how big of a step I was taking and told me how proud of me she was. After this conversation we discussed when I should ask George to talk. I was nervous yet kind of excited. I just hoped he felt something for me as well.

George had finally reached the common room just as (Y/N) was coming back down the stairs. They immediately made eye contact and George beckoned her over with the nod of his head. She bid her goodbyes to Katie and made her way over to him. “Hi Georgie.” She said then leaned over to hook their arms and face him towards the direction he just came from. “Care to join me for a walk around the castle?” She peered up at him through her long eyelashes and he couldn’t help but notice how pretty she looked tonight. All of a sudden he thought about Alicia and felt glad he didn’t agree to the date. He showed off his nice white teeth and smiled that gorgeous smile (Y/N) adored so much and he nodded, letting the younger girl drag him along. They were walking in comfortable silence for about 10 minutes until (Y/N) finally broke the ice and spoke. “George? You would never hurt me right?” She asked, making them both stop walking. He gulped. Why was she suddenly asking this? Did she know about Alicia? Was she jealous? Why would she be jealous anyways and why was he wishing she was? “I mean I know you would never hurt me. I don’t know why I asked that..” (Y/N) blushed and looked away letting out a laugh due to her being a little embarrassed. (Y/N) actually knew why she was asking this question. She was trying to prepare herself for the big confession her and Katie planned.

Without another word, George shook his head and in a flash, pulled her right against his chest. Was she feeling lonely again? Feeling confident, he kissed the top of her head and began to speak, “I would never dream of hurting you love, are you okay? What’s with the sudden question?” He pulled away a little and forced her to look at him. She couldn’t hide the blush that appeared on her face. “Uh nothing just a random thought, I promise I’m okay!” She removed her face from his grasp and buried it back in his chest. “I don’t think I could ever handle losing you to be honest.” (Y/N) admitted out of the blue and inhaled his scent in doing so. This unexpected confession made Georges heart flutter and he squeezed her a little closer.

One thing he always admired about (Y/N) was her confidence and her ability to always say what she was currently thinking. In a way, he found her rather intimidating but also found himself drawn to the younger girl. They relaxed in each others embrace and (Y/N) found herself pushing him to the nearest wall. This was it. There couldn’t have been a more perfect time. Whatever she was doing, George liked it and the feeling of her guiding him had him wrapped around her finger in a swift second. She slowly moved her head upwards and stood up on her tiptoes, about to place a kiss against the spot between his shoulder and neck when the sound of people running and yelling had startled the pair and George had grabbed her and pulled her into a nearby classroom.

Inside the classroom, he leaned against a desk and looked down in disappointment, feeling like he just missed something important. (Y/N) wasn’t going to let this little interruption ruin what she was about to do a moment ago and she rushed over to George, ducking to where he hung his head and pressed her lips against his while lifting his head in the process. Her hands going to his cheek to hold. George was stunned, he didn’t even have time to react and kiss back before (Y/N) pulled away. “Godric forgive me!” She exclaimed and stepped back a little before she began to pace back and forth. “This isn’t how I wanted this to go!” She ranted to him and he stayed quiet, feeling rather confused in that moment trying to process what just happened. “I should’ve asked if I was allowed to kiss you, I’m sorry George.” (Y/N) bit her lip and looked down momentarily before bringing her attention back to him. “I asked you to come for a walk because I had something to tell you but I kind of got swept up in the moment so I apologize..” She started and George just nodded his head, waiting for her explanation. “I actually wanted to talk about us… You’re probably wondering why I kissed you and the answer to that question is..” (Y/N) stopped herself and gulped. “The answer to that q-question is that I-I really like you George.” She finally managed to spit out. “I like you so much and not being able to tell you such a huge secret has been eating me alive and I really needed you to know that.” (Y/N) whispered the last few words, looking at the ground as she slowly lost her confidence and slowly backed away. She did not want to see the look on Georges face right now.

Just as she turned to run away, George reached out for her and pulled her against him. Her back was now pressed to his chest and he rested his head on top of hers as he wrapped his left arm around her waist and his right hand reached out for a strand of her long hair, curling it around his finger. Neither of them spoke during this little moment that they were having. (Y/N)s eyes slowly shut and she exhaled, letting out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding in. George continued playing with her hair and slowly started to rub circles over her tummy. Trying to calm her down. Even with the position they were in, he could still feel how fast her heart was beating and noticed how she quivered a little. He had never seen her in a state like this before. Always seeing her when she was confident and at her best, only letting herself be sad in front of him when he really pushed for it. All in the span of 10 minutes, she had been acting so out of place and frantic and it wasn’t a side that George ever saw. It now hit him. Her letting him see how vulnerable she was in that moment was really difficult for his normally confident friend and she truly meant what she said. (Y/N) really did have feelings for him and he wouldn’t have asked for anything better if he was given the chance.

His chin moved from the top of her head to her left shoulder so he could try get a look at her face. When he was successful, his heart skipped a beat at the expression that was displayed across the beautiful girls face. (Y/N)s eyes were closed and she wasn’t smiling nor frowning, instead she looked very content being wrapped in his embrace and she had a faint pink blush that appeared and rested across her nose. She was breathing steadily again, the action of George playing with her hair made her feel completely calm and her heartbeat became steady as well.

George now realized why there always seemed to be more than what he claimed when he always watched over (Y/N) and protected her from everything. Why he had declined the invitation from Alicia all because the image of her popped into his mind. He always loved her. From the moment they first saw each other in her first year when she was about to be sorted. The way they couldn’t stop gazing at one another as if they knew one day, they would become that very person for each other, the person they couldn’t stand to be apart from.

Without another word, George removed his hand from the girls waist and all the way to her chin, then in an instant he had moved her face so she could look back at him. Her eyes opened and she realized how close they were to one another. George leaned a little closer before asking her for permission to kiss her. She could only nod, scared of what her voice might sound like and that was it. Their lips molded with each others and George pulled her closer against him. His hand was now slightly around her neck and his fingers held her jaw in place so they could reach each other and kiss.

I couldn’t believe this was happening right now. George pretty much accepted my confession and we were now kissing. My hand wrapped around his wrist, the one he had around my neck and I slowly removed it, pushing it downwards and guided it to rest overtop my right boob. His eyes opened once he felt her. George could never bring himself to do this with another girl, always stopping the minute he thought of (Y/N) and disliked how the guilt would become too unbearable. But this was different. This was who he wanted all along and she was letting him touch her in intimate places, these little movements letting him know that she trusted him and she wanted him to do this to her.

Once her hand dropped from his, it was like her silent way of letting him know he could take over and he begin squeezing and rotating her breast, observing her to see if this was making her feel something. (Y/N) stopped kissing George for a moment to let out a breathy moan and this encouraged him to carry on. She reconnected their lips and their kisses got sloppier as his hand dragged over her stomach and slowly lifted up her top so he could get his hand under it. His hand moved back up towards her boob and he began squeezing it again, now feeling the thin material of her bra and he found himself getting turned on. As George continued feeling her up, he had switched out his left hand and instead, started to touch her breast with his right. His left hand was now moving down her stomach and stopped just above her waistband. (Y/N) knew what he was silently asking permission for and she whispered into the kiss “Fucking touch me already George.”

With this demand, Georges hand quickly unbuttoned her jeans and now hovered over her clothed vagina, hesitating as if they hadn’t already crossed a line that they couldn’t return from. Just as (Y/N) pushed her tongue into Georges mouth, he began to rub her pussy over her panties and she moaned into his mouth. Finally feeling the pleasure she so desperately needed, she began to spread her legs. He soon realized how difficult this position was and in one swift movement, he quickly switched so (Y/N) was now sitting on the desk he once leaned on. George removed her pants completely then grabbed her thighs and dragged her to the edge. He peered into her eyes as they shined back up at him and he knew she had him once again. (Y/N) had the boy wrapped around her finger and could make him do anything she desired. She knew it too.

I grabbed George by the collar of his shirt and dragged him to me so we could make out again. I was obsessed with the way our lips moved perfectly together and I knew I wouldn’t be able to kiss anybody else after him. George Weasley had me under a spell and I didn’t care to be saved anytime soon. I wanted to be swallowed by this love. I wanted to feel parts of him I had never felt before. My hands moved to his pants and I fought with the buckle, this action letting George know what I wanted and he caught my attention as he sucked one of his fingers into his mouth. I bit my lip at the show he was so obviously putting on for me and spread my legs once I realized what it was for. As if I wasn’t already wet enough for him to stick his fingers inside me. George being the kind of person he was, he wanted to make sure I was 100% comfortable and didn’t feel too much stretching when he began to prepare me for what was to come next.

I leaned in to place a soft kiss to the side of (Y/N)s mouth before I moved her panties to the side and spread her lips. My thumb immediately went to her clit and I began rubbing hard circles against it, causing her to buck her hips and moan. I bit my lip, fuck she sounded sexy. Finally, my finger hovered over her hole and I slowly pushed it into her, feeling her stretching and pulsating around my finger and I continued to push it all the way inside her. “Fuck you’re tight.” I told her and placed a sloppy kiss to her thigh to let her know it was a good thing. A dark red blush was now showing on her face and her breathing was becoming shallow. I slowly fingered her and watched closely as her pussy seemed to swallow my digit over and over. When she started feeling more wet, I added another finger and continued fucking her with my fingers at the same time that I rubbed her clit. (Y/N) was now moaning and moving her hips so Georges fingers could hit perfectly. “I-I’m going to-“ before she could even finish her sentence, George had stopped fingering her and replaced them with his tongue. He knew he could drive her over the edge with how sensitive he had made her by stopping and he flicked his tongue out to lick her reddened clit.

“G-George please-“ She cried and tried grinding down onto his face only for him to slightly pull back, attempting to tease her. “FUCK! George please just do something I-I!” (Y/N) was starting to feel the effects of her denied orgasm and she couldn’t speak a coherent sentence. George chuckled only wanting to tease her a little before he finally ate her up. With one last agonizingly slow lick to her clit, he shoved his fingers back inside her and began performing the best oral sex she had ever experienced. Sucking hard on her clit and curling his fingers deep inside her. (Y/N) clawed at his hands and pulled at his hair, trying to bring him closer. She was beginning to feel overstimulated but she couldn’t bring herself to tell him to stop. With one last guttural moan leaving her mouth, she arched her back so high off the desks she laid across and he continued to lap at her sensitive pussy as she rode out her orgasm. With one final sigh, he pulled his fingers out of her and pulled her up so he could kiss her again. She didn’t even care that she could taste herself on his tongue, it made the kiss so much hotter.

As they began to make out again, her hand moved down to his still hard dick and pumped it a few times, making him bite her lip as he attempted to suppress his moans. She raised an eyebrow and rubbed her finger over the head, noticing a bit of pre cum leaking out and she started to spread her legs once again. “Fuck me.” She said in the most sexiest voice George had ever heard and he roughly grabbed her thighs and shoved himself inside her, his head fell back and he let out a loud moan at how warm and tight she felt and once again, he began to move in and out of her. As he fucked her even faster, both of their feelings began to build up and he couldn’t hold it anymore. “Fuuuuuck I love you!” George moaned out and continued to fuck her hard. “I love you!” He repeated and she couldn’t help as her tears welled up in her eyes and she felt overwhelmed. This was actually happening and to top it off, she didn’t even say I love you yet. It was all George.

His thrusts had started becoming sloppier and sloppier as he neared his release and she sat up whilst he was still inside her, helping him to reach an even deeper angle and she tossed her arms around his neck, biting down on it hard as George hit something over and over and she knew she was going to cum again. With one last thrust of his hips and her grinding down to meet with him, they both came at the same time and blurted out how much they loved each other. George pressed his lips back onto hers. Emptying himself inside her before he finally pulled out. Her legs were so shaky and his knees felt wobbly. He quickly flicked his wand and said a spell that sort of cleaned them up. George helped (Y/N) dress then gently helped her down from the desk.

“You okay?” George asked me and I smiled at his now concerned yet red face. He really decided to act flustered now after all we just did. I giggled then leaned on my tip toes so I could reach up and kiss him. “Do you want to go have a bath?” I suggested after we separated and he nodded, scooping me up in his arms and insisting that I was going to be sore later.

Ignoring her pleas to be put down, he walked in the direction of the bathroom so he and his new love could get cleaned up and go finish off their night cuddling in bed.

[reizoudesu]

02. goodbye

"stay alive" (kazuha x reader) - chapter two (press ">>" to proceed. otherwise, press "<<" to return.)

[masterlist] || << || >>

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

When you arrived at the Justice Building alongside the other tributes - as expected, you see little Paimon, who rushed towards you and sat on your lap, arms around your neck, just like when she was a little toddler.

Your mother walks up to you and wraps her arms around both her children without a word. You couldn’t find anything good to say either. No, not after she wallowed in the depths of despair, leaving you to be the sole “parent” of your little sister.

Still, you gave her an order of what they should do while you were gone.

The remaining minutes was just you and Paimon lost into a sentimental moment, her large navy-blue eyes that used to shine like the stars in the galaxies now glistening with unshed tears. It’s like the sky itself is crying for your departure.

“Will you be okay, y/n? Paimon doesn’t want you to leave,” she bemoans, her little hands clutching at your jacket, and you embrace her, indifferent yet still showing sympathy.

“We’ll never know, Paimon. But I’ll be fine. Just be good to mum, okay?” You told her, carding her silky locks of white hair on the crown of her head. You told her that because it is simply the truth. And the both of you knows that.

"Paimon wants you to win... because you're so fast and brave. Please, just try?" her little voice broke through your walls, and you felt your heart ache again. This sweet child...

"...I will," you relented, kissing her forehead right until the Peacemakers knocked on the door to drag them out the door.

Silence again... until you hear a knock.

"Hey," you perk up at the voice, and you immediately ran to embrace Childe, who was just about to enter the room. He gasps before letting out a chuckle, shaking his head at you.

"Heh, easy there," he laughs, but you couldn't. You were frowning.

"I'm a little nervous," you tell him, your jaw tightening as you struggle for words. Anything can happen in the Hunger Games, and you find yourself fighting to breathe.

"Look, y/n, I'll be frank with you. You're capable of hunting, and you can shoot. That's already a plus when surviving the Games." Childe says, his face now serious than before.

"What if there are no bows or arrows prepared?" you stressed, a look of anguish as you try to think for any answers.

"Then make one." "Please, mine isn't even as good as Dad's."

You stop when you blurt out your father's name, and Childe sighs, sympathy washing over his once grave expression.

"A weak bow is better than no bow at all," he crosses his arms. You wanted to listen, but you weren't with all the noise inside your brain.

But, for now, you decided to trust your best friend's words for that.

Time is up, and the Peacekeepers are back to claim the visitor, not before you yell in panic, "Don't let them starve!"

"I won't, y/n! Don't worry! Remember, I-" And he is out, the slamming of the door breaking your train of thoughts.

Now you are at a loss. What does he want you to remember? Sighing, you glanced at the window, noting the scenery of the wilderness from the outside... you were missing home. You were just thinking about Childe's words before you were ushered by the oh-so-lovely diva Furina to go outside. Soon enough, you'll be in a train station - where the real fun begins.

to be continued... ︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

©reizoudesu

AGGHH, I'm sorry for not being active for the past few weeks(?) School is now making me busier than I expected... (TwT )

In the meantime, stay tuned for more of these~ Thanks for your patience.

[fanficshiddles]

Eternally Mine, Chapter 25

WARNING: Mentions of miscarriage and abuse.

-

Louise was visibly nervous, Chris assured her again that she didn’t need to tell him about anything she didn’t want to. But she did want to, she wanted to share with him and hoped it would help him understand why she was the way she was sometimes.

‘Would you… be more comfortable on my lap again?’ Chris asked with a cheeky smile.

Louise blushed and nodded with a giggle. ‘You are very comfy and cosy.’

Chris wrapped his arms around her to pull her onto his lap. He held her snugly against his chest, feeling her relax as he stroked her back softly. She lay her head against his shoulder and took a deep breath.

‘I… I guess starting from the beginning is best.’ She sighed. ‘We were in secondary school, I was sixteen, Ray was eighteen. He was one of the cool guys. For some reason he seemed to take an interest in me. I thought it was great, that an older kid like him was into me. Claire was a big supporter at the start, I know she beats herself up over it now, for saying I should go for it when he asked me out one day.

It went ok at first, we went on some dates… though thinking back, they were rubbish dates. We always split the bill, which was fine. Though after a while he told me I should be paying for both of us, since in the future he’d be the one providing for me. I didn’t think much of it really, I had a part time job with no rent to pay as I lived with my parents so it was fine. The thought that he was thinking of the future made me feel special.

When we started sleeping together, it was never great. Quick and just about his pleasure. Though things turned after we started getting intimate. He began telling me how to dress and he made me stop dyeing my hair, had to take out my nose piercing and earrings as he found them horrible. I don’t know why I did it, I was young and stupidly blind for him. I moved in with him as he had the whole basement to himself at his parents’ house, a kitchen and bathroom included. That was within four months, way too fast.

I finished school and began work, at a restaurant. Wanted to save up to go to college or Uni. He didn’t like me working though, said I should stay home and keep the place clean and tidy for him. Even though he himself didn’t have a job at that point. Eventually, he did get a job in his father’s company, so we moved into our own bungalow.

He was never affectionate with me, never once even told me he loved me… Made me believe that no other man would want to be with me, that he was doing me a favour by being my partner. Never wanted to be seen holding my hand in public, said I was an embarrassment. I tried losing weight for him, thinking it would help, but it didn’t.

He made me quit my job in time, and slowly I saw less of Claire and our parents, friends, other family. Even to the point of locking me in the house most days, saying it was for my own safety. He didn’t like me having hobbies, said that gaming was childish so I didn’t even have anything to do apart from clean.

I ended up pregnant when I was twenty-one. I wasn’t really wanting a child at that point, though he desperately did. I selfishly thought having a baby would make him love me… If that poor child had been born, I dread to think…’ Louise paused a moment and tried to hold back her tears.

Chris cradled the back of her head and kissed her forehead.

‘I had a miscarriage. He blamed me, said I was a failure of a woman as I couldn’t even carry a baby to full term. He… he beat me black and blue that day. He kicked me so bad in my abdomen, the pain was indescribable. I begged him for days to take me to the hospital as I was in agony, but he refused and said it was punishment for killing his baby.’

Chris had to withhold his rage and sadness. He couldn’t believe how this monster had treated Louise. How anyone could treat someone like that.

‘Claire then came round one day, to find me locked inside. I was in so much pain still, and tried to put on a brave face but she saw right through it. The police came and bust down the door, got me straight to hospital. I had to get some surgery to repair some tendon and muscle damage in my abdomen. The doctor said it’s unlikely I’ll ever be able to have a child because of it… My periods are all over the place, too. And mentally, I don't want to have kids. So… I don’t know if you ever want kids, but I… I don’t think I can give you that, I’m sorry.’

‘Pumpkin, do not apologise for something that is not your fault.’ Chris cupped her face and had her look at him. ‘None of this is your fault. You never apologise for things that are out of your control, that are caused by him. I’m so, so sorry you had to go through this. I can’t imagine how scary and confusing it must have been.’

‘I just wish I had gotten out sooner. I should have listened to Claire and our friends, after just a few months they realised that he wasn’t all he seemed to be. Said he was shitty for making me pay for the dates, that I didn’t seem myself. I just… I was so fucking blind.’

‘That’s how they work, abusers. They manipulate you so well into believing whatever they want you to believe.’ Chris said softly.

Louise nodded. ‘I was so relieved when he was arrested. Though when he got out on a technicality, I was terrified again. Went into hiding. I wouldn’t even walk to work, just fifteen minutes away. I drove all the time, stayed in at weekends and evenings. Even before he got out, I was scared to go out and about, though Claire did manage to slowly get me out shopping and stuff.

The day though that Claire phoned me to tell me he was dead. The relief, the weight off my shoulders…’ Louise smiled and laughed a little. ‘I just. Felt so free, for the first time since I started dating him, really. All thanks to you.’

Chris brushed her cheek with his thumb. ‘I only wish I had tortured him more. Oh, what I’d give to go back in time.’ Chris growled.

‘Do you think your instincts knew back then that I was your soulmate and he was connected? If he had been some random, would you have still killed him?’ Louise asked.

Chris rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. ‘I wish I could say there was truth in that… but honestly, there was a stranger on my property and a potential threat to my students, plus I was in the mood to… y’know. I likely would’ve killed whoever it was. Though I was enraged more because he was looking for Claire, I thought he was her husband and she was having an affair with Loki or something and he didn’t know.’

Louise laughed. ‘Really? So you were looking out for your brother, though.’

‘I guess so.’ He hummed.

‘Well, there you go. It wasn’t completely just for the sake of killing. For Loki and your students.’ Louise smiled.

‘Perhaps… Still doesn’t change the fact I wish I could go back and do a better job of it. I hate what he put you through… You’re my soulmate, I should have protected you.’ Chris sounded a bit pained.

‘Chris… you didn’t know me, I didn’t know you. There’s nothing you could have done, it’s just… something that happened. You’re protecting me now though, you still saved me.’ She smiled and put her arms around his neck.

Chris smiled and pressed his forehead against hers.

‘I apologise if I ever make you uncomfortable, I know I tend to be a bit over possessive. I wouldn’t want to… trigger you. Please tell me if I ever do.’

‘You haven’t. I actually like it… He never wanted me, he was never like that. It’s… nice to be wanted. When you call me your human, I love it.’ She blushed hard. ‘The fact you already remember my favourite chocolates, how you want to hold my hand in public and the fun teasing. I’m not used to it, but I love it.’

Chris felt his heart melt. ‘When you decorated me with the decorations, you were a little unsure at first, weren’t you?’

Louise nodded. ‘I… I tried playing fun little pranks with him. Nothing drastic or that would hurt him, but he would go ballistic at the slightest thing.’

‘Well, I certainly hope that you’ll get accustomed to affection, even in public, I can’t keep my hands off you. I want to spoil you rotten, Louise. It sounds like you missed out a lot on your young adult life, hopefully we can make up for that together.’

Louise teared up a little bit again. ‘I hope so too.’

Chris pulled her in flush against him for the longest hug. Then when she leaned back slightly, they kissed softly for a little while.

‘I… I know from what Claire has told me that it’s probably not easy for you, going so slow, which I am sorry about.’

Chris put his finger over her lips. ‘Ah, ah. Like I said, don’t apologise for something that’s not your fault. We will go as slow as you want and need to. My vampire instincts are not for you to worry about, they’re my issue… Besides, that’s why I always have vaseline in my pocket if your scent gets too overwhelming for me and I’m worried about jumping you.’ He smirked and winked at her, making her giggle.

Chris noticed for the duration of the evening that Louise seemed even more relaxed than ever now she had told him more in depth about her past. Like she had been wanting to get it off her chest for a while.

Their food arrived shortly after so they ate through in the dining room. Then they decided to watch another movie, though they both decided on a comedy. Afterwards they talked some more about general stuff, just enjoying one another’s company. Their conversation just kept flowing so well, before they both knew it, it was already one in the morning.

It wasn’t until Bat was scowling at them and yowled loudly as she sat in the doorway of the living room, her tail thumped against the laminate floor, they realised the time.

‘Is this your way of saying it’s bed time?’ Chris asked Bat.

Bat yelled at them again and made her way upstairs.

‘She’s a good chaperone, that’s for sure.’ Louise laughed, then she yawned. ‘Maybe it is bed time.’

Chris agreed, so they made their way upstairs.

‘Do you mind if I take the front spare room?’ Louise asked when they reached the top of the stairs.

‘Not at all.’ Chris smiled at her and cupped her cheek.

He leaned down and kissed her on the lips, lingering for a moment. ‘Goodnight, pumpkin. I’ll see you in the morning.’

‘Night, my Prince Charming.’ She grinned up at him.

When Louise made her way to the bedroom, she stopped at the door and turned back around to face him. Bat had been waiting up on the landing for them and she looked between Chris and Louise, then walked towards Louise.

‘Do you have to rush off in the morning or will you be around for a while?’ She asked.

‘I’ll be hanging around for a while, if you want me to.’

Louise nodded eagerly. ‘Of course.’

Bat looked up at Louise and meowed at her, then pawed her legs to try and get her into the bedroom.

‘Geez, ok, Bat. I’m going, I’m going.’ She laughed.

‘Bat is taking this job way too seriously.’ Chris called to her as she headed into the bedroom.

‘Agreed!’ She called back.

-

Chris struggled to get to sleep, he wasn’t sure if it was because of what Louise had told him about her past, he kept thinking about that asshole Ray... Or if it was because she was just down the hall from him, and he was longing just to be holding her.

He got up to go to the bathroom, and had to pass by her room. It was only just after two, now. Though as he went past her room, he noticed she had a light on from under the door and he could hear her breathing heavy, sounding a little distressed.

‘Louise?’ He called out gently as he knocked on the door.

‘Y… Yeah?’ She called back, she sounded like she had been crying.

‘Are you ok?’

‘I… yeah… kind of… I would come and open the door but Bat is lying on me. You can come in.’ She called to him, her voice was shaky.

Chris opened the door, he saw her sitting up in bed. Bat was sitting on her with her paws up at her chest, she was purring and nudging her chin, reassuring her.

‘What’s wrong? Has something happened?’ Chris asked with a frown, concerned.

‘No, nothing… Just a nightmare… The same one I have almost every night.’ She breathed out unevenly. ‘I rarely get a full night’s sleep as it is, this nightmare… Ray. He finds me again. I thought when he died it would stop, but it hasn’t.’ She said quietly, she was a little bit distracted seeing Chris in just his boxers, though she tried not to stare.

Chris sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed her arm. Bat turned on Louise’s lap and looked at Chris, she just stared at him for a second and then jumped down off the bed with a little soft meow and sauntered out of the room.

Chris looked after the cat with a puzzled look, then he shuffled up the bed further and put his arms out, Louise moved round onto her knees and into his embrace. She instantly felt better in his arms as she buried her face into his neck, her new favourite place.

‘I know saying it’s just a nightmare won’t do anything. That he really can’t hurt you anymore. I wish I could chase it away permanently.’ Chris spoke softly and rubbed her back in circles.

‘Would… would you… sleep in here with me? Only if you want to, if you’re ok with it…’ Louise asked shyly.

Chris couldn’t help but smile widely. ‘Of course. I couldn’t really sleep, to be honest. I think it was a mix from hearing your story and also knowing you were under the same roof, but not in my arms.’ He admitted with a little blush of his own.

Louise’s heart melted.

Chris climbed over her to the other side of the bed, he slipped under the covers and she shuffled in close to him as he slipped his arm around her.

‘Oh wow, this bed is like a damn marshmallow. Is that why you wanted this room, huh?’ Chris smirked.

‘Yeah… perhaps.’ Louise said sheepishly.

‘Cheeky. Keeping it all to yourself.’ Chris growled a little and dug his fingers into her side briefly, making her laugh and squirm.

‘I always go for this room when I’m staying over.’

‘Noted. The other bed is like a rock, though that’s the one that Loki set up for me when I stayed once before to watch Bat. He still hates me, clearly. Hiding this wonder from me.’ Chris sighed in contentment as he shuffled deeper into the bed, making Louise laugh more.

She couldn’t stop looking at his chest, the part that was exposed from the duvet, anyway. She had her hand lightly resting on him and she began tracing over some of his tattoos.

‘I’ve always wanted a tattoo.’ She said quietly as her fingers moved along up over his shoulder.

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah.’ She nodded.

‘Well, there’s nothing stopping you if you want one.’ He smiled. ‘We could go together if you decide you do want to get.’

‘Do you have any space on your body for more?’ She teased and raised her head to look at him.

‘I think there’s still room on my ass.’ Chris chuckled.

Louise laughed and lay her head back down on his chest. He rubbed her arm gently, holding her close to him. It felt so right, so perfect. Strangely, he didn’t feel frustrated at having her so close but being unable to do what his vampire instincts wanted, he felt really at peace. For the first time ever.

They both slept soundly through the rest of the night.

[stevesbipanic]

Boy For All Seasons

Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 Ao3

On the final night of 1985, Steve hosted a party. Well, less of a party and more just Steve, Eddie, Robin, Nancy Wheeler, Jonathan Byer,s and Jonathan's strangely chill friend Argyle who had followed him to Hawkins for the holidays. When Steve had told Eddie of the little get-together Eddie was a bit excited, a chance for a Harrington party experience without the fear of getting beat up or having to sell.

He and Nancy had actually gotten along great at the Christmas party and she had insisted that she would help tutor Eddie once school returned so that they could all graduate this year. Steve was supplying the beer and Eddie was going to bring along some joints until Steve had told him Argyle was bringing some good shit from the coast and he wasn't going to pass up free weed.

Eddie had loved 1985, an almost perfect year thanks to the beautiful boy beside him that was now passing him the joint. Maybe next year would be even better if Eddie got up the courage to tell Steve how he was feeling. He was going to go for it, one last holiday tradition to seal the deal, a kiss at midnight.

"What no costume for this technically a holiday, Eds?"

"I did brainstorm one, sweetheart but I decided probably wasn't the best to cover myself in fireworks and then smoke weed."

Steve giggled at this, the beer and weed allowing him to relax for once. Steve had told Eddie a lot about his nightmares, no specifics, something always seemed to stop him, a lot were about the fire or some dogs that tried to attack him and the kids. It didn't happen every night but some nights Eddie would wake up to Steve's side of the bed empty or muffled cries beside him. Eddie hated those nights, and wished he could take all of Steve's hurt away. At least in the daytime, he could give Steve this, a distraction.

"What's your new year's resolution, Stevie?"

Steve laughed, "Does anyone really mean those?"

"No, but they're fun, c'mon I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

"Be braver," Steve says gazing softly at Eddie, Eddie wishes he would look that way forever.

"Now Stevie, who's telling you you're not brave, hmm?"

"Robs, says I'm a wuss, don't go for things right in front of me."

"Is that so, well, I'll have to talk to our little birdie, get her to get you some slack, bravest boy I know, baby." Steve blushed and ducked his head away, Eddie took this as a win, maybe he'd be brave tonight too.

"Alright, what's yours Eds?"

"I think being braver sounds like a good one," Eddie said smirking. Steve gasped at this shoving Eddie playfully.

"You can't steal mine that's cheating!"

"Why can't we share! Sharing is caring Stevie!" Eddie yelled shoving Steve back, the two boys tussled playfully ultimately Steve getting the upper hand, hovering over Eddie.

"C'mon Eds, what do you want to do next year?" Steve said softly, eyes sparkling.

The word was on the tip of his tongue, he wanted to say "you", that he wants Steve next year, not just as a best friend or a bed warmer or someone to tease on holidays but someone to love with his whole being, someone to chase the nightmares away. He almost was brave enough to say it before Robin interrupted him.

"Steve! Where are the party poppers? It's gonna be midnight soon!"

For a moment Steve hesitated before climbing off Eddie and heading into the kitchen to help her. Shortly after the radio started calling that it was five minutes til midnight.

"Eddie can I have your lighter for the sparklers and could you go grab those two from the kitchen, don't know what's taking them so long."

"Sure, Nance, here," Eddie replied handing her the lighter before heading inside.

Eddie wished someone else had come to grab them, or that he'd been a bit louder as he came inside, maybe then he wouldn't have heard them.

"What Robs, you think a guy like me and a guy like Eddie would ever work, we're too different?" Eddie thought Steve liked that Eddie was different, that he wasn't like those assholes Steve used to hang around with.

"Steve if you jus-"

"No Robin, it's not happening it'll never happen ok." Eddie felt his heart break in two, he knew he shouldn't have gotten his hopes up, he knew he shouldn't have let himself fall in love.

Eddie heard Robin sigh, "Ok Steve, we'll talk about this later let's just go outside for the countdown." It was then Eddie made himself known.

"Hey guys, Nance wants us all outside."

"Yeah, yeah we're coming Eddie." Eddie couldn't remember the last time Steve had used his full name, it felt like the end of whatever this year had been building.

The three of them joined the others outside and counted down the last seconds of what was almost the perfect year for Eddie Munson. They gazed at the fireworks and Eddie tried not to think about how beautiful Steve looked under their colours. There was no need to be brave, no kiss at midnight.

Eddie had a new resolution, getting over Steve.

Guess 1985 wasn't his year after all.

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[paperandsong]

Les Laveuses de nuit

From Légendes rustiques, illustrated by Maurice Sand, written by George Sand, 1858

Original French at Project Gutenberg

English translation:

At the full moon, we see on the path of the Spring of Springs (Fountain of Fountains) strange washerwomen, the ghosts of bad mothers who have been condemned to wash the swaddling clothes and corpses of their victims, until their final judgement.

Maurice SAND

In our opinion, this is the most sinister vision of fear. It is also the most widespread; I believe it is found in all countries.

Around stagnant pools and limpid springs, in the heather as at the edge of shaded fountains along sunken lanes, under the old willows as on the sun-scorched plain, one hears during the night the hurried pounding and furious plashing of otherworldly washerwomen. In some provinces, they are believed to evoke rain and to bait thunderstorms by sending water from springs and swamps flying into the skies with their vigorous clothes-beating. But there is confusion here. The evocation of storms is the sole privilege of sorcerers known as cloud leaders (meneux de nuées). True washerwomen are the souls of infanticidal mothers. They incessantly beat and twist something that looks like wet laundry but which, when viewed up close, is nothing but a child's corpse. Each has her own bundle, or several if she has committed her crime more than once. Care must be taken not to observe or disturb them because even if you were six feet tall and proportionally strong they would seize you, beat you in the water and twist you like nothing more than a pair of socks.

We often hear the beating of the night washers echoing in the silence around deserted ponds. This is a trick. It is only a kind of frog that makes this formidable noise. It’s so sad to make this childish discovery and to lose hope that those terrible sorceresses might appear, twisting their filthy rags in the misty November night, in the pale light of a crescent moon reflected on the water.

Yet, I was excited by a sincere and rather frightening account of this subject.

A friend of mine, a man of more wit than sense I must admit, and yet, of an enlightened and cultivated mind, but I must still confess, inclined to leave his reason in the jar; he is very brave in the face of real things, but easy to impress and nurtured from childhood on country legends, had two encounters with the washerwomen which he only recounted with reluctance and with an expression on his face that sent a chill through his audience.

One evening, around eleven o'clock, on an enchanting trail that snakes around and bounds forth, so to speak, on the rippled side of the Urmont ravine, he saw an old woman washing and twisting clothes in silence at the edge of a spring.

Although this pretty spring is infamous, he saw nothing supernatural there and said to this old woman: "You are doing the washing very late, mother!" 

She did not answer. He thought she was deaf and approached her. The moon was bright and the spring shone like a mirror. He then saw the features of the old woman more distinctly: she was a total stranger to him and he was astonished because, in his life as a farmer, hunter and loafer about the countryside, there was no face unknown to him for several leagues around. Here is what he told me of his impressions of this singularly strange washerwoman:

“I didn't think of the legend until I’d lost sight of the woman. I didn't even think about it until I came across her. I didn't believe it and didn’t feel any suspicion when approaching her. But as soon as I was near her, her silence, her indifference to the approach of a passer-by, gave her the appearance of a being absolutely foreign to our kind. If old age deprived her of hearing and sight, how had she come from afar all alone, at this unusual hour, to do the wash at this frozen spring where she worked with so much strength and energy? It was at least noteworthy; but what surprised me even more was what I felt within myself. I had no feeling of fear, rather, I felt loathing, an invincible disgust. I went on my way without so much as turning her head. It wasn’t until I got home that I thought of the washhouse witches, and I honestly admit that then I was very scared. Nothing in the world could have made me decide to retrace my steps.”

Another time, the same friend passed by the Thevet ponds around two in the morning. He came from Linières, where he assures us that he had neither eaten nor drunk anything, a circumstance that I cannot guarantee. He was alone in his horse cart, followed by his dog. His horse was tired so he dismounted as they went uphill and he found himself at the side of the road, near a ditch where three women were washing, beating, and twisting something vigorously, without saying a word. His dog suddenly pressed close to him without barking. He passed by without looking too closely. But no sooner had he taken a few steps than he heard someone walking behind him and the moon cast a very long shadow at his feet. He turned and saw one of the women following him. The other two came at some distance, as if to support the first.

“This time,” he said, “I thought of the cursed washerwomen, but I felt differently than the first time. These women were so tall, and the one who followed me closely had the proportions, the face and the gait of a man, that I did not doubt for a moment that I was dealing with malicious village jokers, ill-intentioned perhaps. I had a good stick in my hand. I turned around and said: ‘What do you want?’

I didn’t get an answer and, as I was not being attacked and had no reason to attack them myself, I was forced to return to my cart, which was quite far in front of me, with this disagreeable being at my heels. It didn't say anything to me and seemed to take pleasure in keeping me under suspense. I was still holding my stick, ready to break its jaw at the slightest touch. And so I arrived at my cart with my cowardly dog, ​​who didn't say a word and jumped in with me. I then turned and - although until then I had heard footsteps over mine and seen a shadow walking beside me - I saw no one. About thirty paces behind I could just make out - in the place where I had seen them washing - the three great devils jumping, dancing and writhing around like mad on the edge of the ditch. Their silence, contrasted with this distorted leaping, made them even more strange and distressing to see.”

If one tried, after this tale, to ask the narrator for more details or to make him understand that he had been the plaything of a hallucination, he would shake his head and say: “Let us talk about something else. I just like to think I am not crazy.” And these words, uttered with sadness, imposed silence on everyone.

There is no pond or spring that is not haunted, either by night washerwomen or by other more or less unfortunate spirits. A few of these ghosts are quite bizarre. In my childhood, I was always afraid to walk past a certain ditch where you saw white feet. Those fantastic stories which cannot explain the nature of the beings which they depict, which remain vague and incomplete, are those that strike the imagination hardest. It was said these white feet walked along the ditch at certain hours of the night; they were women's feet, lean and bare, with a bit of a white dress or long shirt that ceaselessly floated and fluttered. It moved fast in a zigzag and if we said, “I see you! Don’t you want to save yourself?” it would run so fast we didn't know where it had gone. When no one said anything, it moved in front of you; but no matter how hard one tried to see above the ankle, it was impossible. It had no legs, no body, no head, nothing but feet. I could not say what it was about these feet that made them terrifying; but I would not have wanted to see them. Not for anything in the world.

In other places, there are night spinners whose spinning wheels can be heard in whatever room you are in. Sometimes you can even see their hands. In our home, I heard about a night grinder, who pounded hemp outside the doors of certain houses, making rhythmic pounding noises but in an unnatural way. She had to be left alone, and if she persisted in coming back several nights in a row, you had to put an old scythe blade across the tool that she used to make all that noise. She would amuse herself for a while, trying to crush the blade, then she would be disgusted by it, throw it at the door and never come back.

And then there were the peillerouse (the ragged ones) of the night, who stood under the guenillière. Peille is an old French word meaning ragged; this is why the church porch, where the beggars stand in rags during services, is called by a similar name.

This one peillerouse accosted passers-by and asked them for alms. We had to be careful not to give her anything, otherwise she would grow tall and strong. As weak as she seemed, she would beat you up. A man named Simon Richard, who lived in the old priest’s house and who suspected some mischief towards him on the part of the village girls, tried to flirt with her. He was left for dead. I saw him on his side the next day, all battered and scratched up, indeed. He swore he had only dealt with a little old woman “who looked a hundred years old, but who had the fist of three and a half men.”

We tried in vain to make him believe that he had been dealing with a fellow stronger than himself, who, in disguise, took revenge for some bad trick in his own way. He was strong and bold, even quarrelsome and vindictive. Yet he left the parish as soon as he was up and never returned, saying he feared neither man nor woman. But he did fear people who are not of this world and who do not have Christian-made bodies.

George SAND

[friendly-books]

Dresden files Cold days live blog

Dresden files Cold days

“Mab, the Queen of Air and Darkness, Monarch of the Winter Court of the Sidhe, has  unique ideas on physical therapy.” pg. 11

Mab and therapy don’t go together

Time to look up what The Cat Sith is

I already love Cat Sith and Harry’s dynamic

“The last time I was at a supernatural shindig, I got poisoned and then everything there tried to kill me. So I burned the whole place to the ground” pg. 31 Bianca party Harry’s rap sheet with parties is terrible. Why do people keep inviting him to parties. It never ends well.

“Wait for instructions. Follow instructions.”

“I’m not good at either of those things” pg. 33 Ha

Harry’s birthday!

“She’d been, ah, vajazzled” pg. 50 Ha

I love Harry’s telling off of Maeve

“I’m never really comfortable with parties.” pg. 58  Yep and I predict that this party going as bad as well as all the others disaster)

Eldest Gruff!

Oh no Eirkling isn’t he still trying to kill Harry?

“You are such a fanboy, Dresden.” pg. 65 Yep and who wouldn’t fanboy over Santa?

“Not till after Halloween. Enough is enough, I’m drawing the line.” pg. 66 Ha

Alright something is up. No one is telling Harry anything

Cool that Eldest Gruff used his ears to indicate where Sarissa went

“Ask the Red Court about it. Oh wait” pg. 76 Ha I probably shouldn’t have laughed at that

“Build a man a fire and he’s warm for a day.” I said “But set a man on fire and he’s warm for the rest of his life.” pg. 77 Ha and nice Pratchett reference

“I had one advantage: I was used to competing out of my weight class.” pg. 89 Yep

Go Sarissa!

“Kill my daughter. Kill Maeve” pg. 103 What

“Wait. Your job is…You’re BFFs with Mab?” pg. 115 Ha

Toot toot!

“One day,” I told myself “one brave and magnificent day, I will actually be cool.” pg. 129 Ha and I think you’re cool Harry

Bob!

The Winter mantel sucks

“-but he’s still kind of a friend.”

Bob made a gagging sound. “Don’t get all sappy on me, Dresden.” pg. 141 Aw come on Bob I like Harry being sappy

“while Mab bestrobe me, her naked body strangling me, ranking my thoughts out through my eyes,”

“I shuddered and forced the memory away.” pg. 148 This is terrible please get therapy. If I say it enough times it’s bound to happen

“I know how to kill an immortal.” pg. 149 Oh boy

“It’s when the world of the dead is closest to the mortal world. Everyone-everything-standing in this world is mortal of Halloween.” pg. 152 Of course it’s on Harry’s birthday

“Is that going to happen to me?” pg. 156 Poor Harry you’re not going to turn out like Slate

I agree with Bob talk and trust your friends Harry

Go Toot Toot!

Molly!

“I swear, this stupid town. Why does every hideous supernatural thing that happens happened here? I’m gone for a few months and augh. Be right back. Grrsdll frrrsl rassle mrrrfl” pg. 196 Ha

“I looked around. It wasn’t home, but…it was in the in the right zip code. And it was maybe the single sweetest thing anyone had ever done for me.” pg. 197 Aw :)

Thomas!

“You. Moron

You idiot.” pg. 212 Yes Thomas call Harry out

“Yeah,” I said. “I missed you, too” pg. 215 Aw :)

“If your new boss wanted you on the island, wouldn’t she just have told you to go there?” Thomas asked

“Seems like,” I said. “Taking her orders is pretty much my job now.”

Molly snorted

“Maybe I’ll grow into it,” I said “You don’t know.”

Thomas snorted softly” pg. 221 Ha

“Upon completion, I had dubbed it the Whatsup Dock, and Thomas had chucked me twenty feet into the lake, thus proving his utter lack of appreciation for reference-oriented humor.

(And I’d thrown mine forty feet out with magic, once I got dry. Because come on, he’s my brother. It was the only thing to do.)” pg. 223 Ha

“My brother is…geosexual.” pg. 227 Ha

“I don’t know what these are.” pg. 232 What Bob doesn’t know?

So the original Merlin built Deamonreach and Eb has his old journals

“The guys in the White Council who didn’t like me were going to turn purple and start frothing at the mouth when they found out.” pg. 252 Oh yeah definitely some frothing

“No wonder my grandfather had looked stunned when he’d seen what I done with Deamonreach. Or maybe less “stunned” than “horrified” pg. 252 Yep

“IT BURSTS FORTH FROM YOUR SKULL.” pg. 254 Oh no also that’s kinda like Athena. Is Bonnie going to be born in this book?

I love that Deamonreach also calls Molly grasshopper

“He’s one of mine,” I said in a hard voice. “You hurt him and you can forget me helping you.” pg. 256 Yay glad Harry protects Bob

“LESSER BEINGS ONCE KNEW TO RESPECT THEIR ELDERS,” said Deamonreach

“I respect the crap out of you,” Bob complained. “You want my help, and I’m telling you how. Now turn me around.” pg. 258 Ha

“So Lara got in bed with Marcone?”

“She tried,” Thomas said, “but Marcone kept it purely business. That’s two men who have turned her down in the same century. She was annoyed.” pg. 286 This is glorious! I want Harry and Marcone to happen purely for how funny it would be. Imagine if it happened how embarrassing it would be for Lara. Two men who turned her down in the same cemetery get with each other. Hilarious

Fix! Is Fix and Harry going to fight?

“You uh, looked kinda cozy, man. With Mab. On the stone table.”

Sealing a contract like the one with Mab isn’t something you do with an impersonal handshake. I felt my cheeks heat up. “Oh. You saw that.”

“All of Faeire did,” Fix said.

“God that’s humiliating” pg. 296 I legit winced when I read this. Ouch it’s terrible. I hope Jim puts this in here to show that what happened to Harry was bad and Jim addresses it. 

I hope Harry talks to Murphy and see Maggie

“Wait a minute…We’re his flunkies.”

“You, maybe” Thomas said sneering. “I’m his thug. I’m way higher than a flunky.” pg. 324 Ha

Vadderrung!

“What do you need?” Vadderung asked

“Advice,” I said “Of the price is right”

“And what do you think a significant price be?

“Lucy charges a nickel”

“Ah,” Vadderung said. “But Lucy is a psychologist. You realize that you’ve just cast yourself as Charlie Brown.”

“Aurg” I said” pg. 318 Ha

“I will accept your offer of one favor-and-a nickel.”

“I told you. I don’t have a nickel.”

He nodded gravely. “What do you have?”

I rummaged in my pockets and came out with the jeweled cuff links from my tux. I showed them to him.

“Those aren’t a nickel” he said soberly. He leaned forward again as he had a moment before, and spoke slowly. “What do you have?”

I stared at him for a second. Then I said, “Friends.”

He sat back, his blue eye all but throwing off sparks, it was so bright.

“Thomas,” I called. “I need a nickel.”

“What?” Thomas asked “In cash?”

“Yeah”

Thomas reached into a pocket and produced a bunch of plastic cards. He fanned them out and showed them to me. “What about these?”

“Those aren’t a nickel,” I said

“Oh for goodness’ sake” Molly sighed. She reached into a pocket and produced what looked like a little old lady’s coin purse. Then she flicked a nickel toward me.

I caught it. “Thanks. You’re promoted to lackey.”

She rolled her eyes “Hail, Ming” pg. 320 Ha

“So if I go back in time and kill my grandfather, what happens?”

“He beats you senseless, I suspect” Vadderrung pg. 323 Ha and interesting that Vadderung knows that Ebenezar is Harry’s grandfather

“Birdbrains” pg. 326 Ha

Oh no Mac’s bar

“Thomas showed his teeth in a predatory grin. “I’m leaving bigger tips from now on.” pg. 336 Ha

“You will come with me”

“Isn’t that what Mab said. Harry?” Thomas quipped

I kept my hand shielded from Sharkface with my body and gave my brother the finger.

“Look, Spanky,” I said to Sharkface. “I’m a little bit busy to be tussling with every random  weirdo who is insecure about his junk. Otherwise I would just love to smash you with a beer bottle, kick you in the balls, throw you out through the salon doors, the whole bit. Why don’t you have your people contact my people, and we can do this maybe next week?”

“Next week is your self-deprecation awareness seminar,” Thomas said.

I snapped my fingers “What about the week after?”

“Apartment hunting”

“Bother,” I said. “Well, no one can say we didn’t try. See you later.” pg. 342 Ha

“You have no place in this watcher.” pg. 342 Oh interesting name for Mac

Very cool that Harry that punched Sharkface through his own fire

“Man, the yahoos I scrap with never seem to anticipate that tactic.” pg. 346 Ha

Outsiders come to play

“And you enjoy driving authority figures insane,” Thomas said

I shrugged “I watched The Duke of Hazzard at a formative age,” I said. “Of course I enjoy it.” pg. 357 Ha

“Victor Sells the Shadowman,” I whispered “Agent Denton and the Hexenwolves. Leonid Kravos the Nightmare. My first three major cases.”

“Yes” Lilly whispered “Each of them was tainted by the contagion. It destroyed them.”

I put my hand on the rail and leaned against it. “Fourth case. Aurora. A champion of peace and healing who set out to send the natural world into havoc.” pg. 373 Oh possession? And conspiracy? Since the first case!?

Why are we trusting Maeve?

“I want the throne.” pg. 381 I don’t buy Maeve never struck me as someone who wanted the throne. But the Fae can’t lie something is up and I’m suspicious. I need a bulletin board and red string go full conspiracy theory

Hmm I’m rereading this exchange. Lilly seems uncomfortable with telling the truth but Maeve doesn’t.

Okay the facts as we know them now

Mab wants Harry to kill Maeve

Lilly believes there’s a contagion that changes people

Lilly hasn’t examined Mab

Maeve has and claims Mabs infected

Outsiders are in this book

Harry isn’t infected

Could Maeve be infected and that’s why she can tell the truth? That would also explain why she wants to kill Mab. Could it have something to do with the Outsiders? I don’t have any strong evidence so it’s a bit tin foil hat theory so far.

Ace?! Why are you doing this?

Murphy!

“Be silent, mortal cow.” pg. 395 Rude

“Hey,” I said innocently. “Weren’t there seven of you guys a minute ago.” pg. 398

“Hey,” I said, in the same tone “Weren’t there six of you guys a minute ago.” pg. 399 Ha

Butters!

“Any kind of iron gets under my skin, it seems to disagree with the Winter Knight’s bundle of awesome. Takes the gumption right out of me.” pg. 407 Oh interesting I wonder what other Fae traits Harry has now?

“Isn’t she Catholic?” Thomas asked. “Don’t they have a guy?” pg. 412 Ha and Harry is scruffy homeless Jesus

“Wow seriously, PT?” Butters asked. “How long?”

“Eleven weeks” pg. 412 I would have loved to see actual PT and not Mab trying to kill Harry

“Check out Dr. Marcus Welby, MD, here?”

“I’d  have gone with Doogie Howser, maybe” I said

“Split the difference McCoy?” Thomas asked

“Perfect.”

“You’ve been shot!” Butters repeated, exasperated

Thomas shrugged “Well. A little” pg. 416 Ha

Aw no one trusts Harry :(

Whoa there Harry let’s calm down. That’s definitely the Winter Mantle influence

“Translate that from nerd to English, please.” pg. 434 Ha

“I didn’t add in the third reason not to contact the Council-when they found out about my relationship with Mab, the monarch of a sovereign and occasionally hostile supernatural nation, they would almost certainly panic and assume that I was a massive security risk. Which would, for a variety of reasons and to a variety of degrees, be an accurate assumption. And now that I thought about it, given how my, ah, induction had been psychically broadcast to all of Faerie, there was no chance whatsoever that the Council didn’t know.” pg. 436 Why would Harry be a security risk wouldn’t he be more of an ally for both? Wouldn’t he make the alliance stronger? Also that’s  creepy that the White Council knows about how Harry became the Winter Knight

“And my body abruptly went numb and useless from my stomach down.” pg. 442 Oh no

So how does the Winter mantle and Harry’s paralysis work? Does the mantle negate the paralysis but Harry still has it?

“Toots jaw just about dropped off of his head. “Wow” pg. 446 Ha

“Celery,” she replied promptly, “Cheese. Green tea. But mostly celery.”

“How random“ pg. 448 Ha

“Ebenezar, when he taught me, had been very serious about making sure I learned the proper names of things” pg. 452 More Harry and Ebenezar lore!

“Titania” pg. 454 Oh is this the best idea Harry? I’m pretty sure Titania still wants to kill you.

“You who slew my daughter,” Titania said quietly. “You dare summon me?” pg. 457 Oh no

“Boink and let boink, more or less.” pg. 461 Ha

What is this talk with Titania?

“Flashy entrances” pg. 464 Ha

“Hell’s bells. Elder Gruff had spoken to my behalf? I owed that guy a beer.” pg. 466 That’s nice that Elder Gruff

Nemesis sounds scary

Harry’s grave

“If working the spell from your own grave on Hallo-freaking-ween wasn’t deathly” pg. 472 Spooky

“Mother Winter, I summon thee” pg. 473 Harry again is this really a good idea?

Yay Harry used his Will and Soulfire. So cool that Harry breaks the art k of Will from Mother Winter

“She lost her walking stick” pg. 492 Mother Winter had a walking stick?

“Two-thirds of the Winter Court will be under its influence.” pg. 495 If Mab really was under the influence then I feel like we would see that. And Mab seems normal for Mab

“Holy…Outsiders? Mab’s fighting Outsiders?” pg. 503 Really? This also leads credibility to my theory because it Mab was controlled by Outsiders then wouldn’t see have let them in already and if Maeve is controlled she’ll need Mab died in order to become queen and let them in.

“To protect all of you from the Outsiders, mortal.”

“Then why does Titania have hers?” I asked

“To protect all of you from Mab.” pg. 506 Interesting

“Welcome, Warden Dresden, to the Outer Gates.” pg. 511 Cool

“They’re a…they’re supposed to be a metaphor.” pg. 512 Ha

“You are the help”

“We’re in trouble” pg. 519 Ha

“It had obviously been uncomfortable for them.” pg. 525 It was only uncomfortable for Lilly

Oh no Harry’s friends

“kittykittykittykitty!” pg. 536 Ha

Whoa there Harry that’s the Winter Mantle talking maybe calm down

Mouse!

I love Mouse and Harry’s interaction! Mouse is the goodiest boy

“Mouse thinks Andi should be locked in the garage at night, until she learns not to get abducted.” pg. 550 Ha

So I’ve been thinking about how Maeve is probably has the contagion. I wonder how she got it? It reminds me of an infection. So who infected Maeve? Did…did Lea infect Maeve? She was incased in ice for a while back in proven guilty. But then how did she get infected?

“Client had lost a kid or something to some half-assed wannabe warlock. He had cheesy dialogue and everything, was gonna sacrifice the kid with this big cheap, spiky knife.” pg. 553 Ha and a call back to Thomas’s story. Looks like there’s two canon warehouses in all of Chicago. The street wolf warehouse and now this warehouse. :)

“I hadn’t burned down a building in ages.” pg. 555 Ha

“Hell’s bells. That looked awesome.” pg. 558 Ha

“Goddammit!” I snarled “I just got played again! I am so sick and tired of this backstabby bullshit!” pg. 560 Poor Harry

“That was interesting. Why hadn’t Mac been tied up? Or if he had, how come there wasn’t a mark to show for it? Either way, that was odd.” pg. 561 Interesting

So cool that Harry created an iceberg that lifted the whole building out of the water! Harry’s so powerful

“Butters turned toward Molly with absolute murder in his eyes.” “I hate this” Butters said, his voice boiling with anger” pg. 572

Whoa there Butters and Molly how about everyone chill and check on everybody for injuries

Yeah Ace has good reason to hate Harry

“She was there when I cut her mother’s throat. I don’t know if she was conscious, if she saw…but what if she did? In my head, I’ve  run this scenario about a thousand times, and if she saw me and started screaming or crying” pg.585 Poor Harry poor Maggie :(

“You embezzled funds from the White Court to get me a present?” pg. 590 Ha

Molly got Harry a duster! :)

“The Wild Hunt is coming” pg. 595 Oh no

“I’d just put a bullet in the Erkling on Halloween night.” pg. 607 So cool

“Tonight we hunt Outsiders!” pg. 615 Yeah! Let’s go!

“You want me to drive into lake.”

“You have to admit,” I said “it isn’t the craziest thing I’ve ever asked you to do. It isn’t even the craziest thing I’ve asked you to do tonight.” pg. 617 Ha

“Wizard please” pg. 623 Ha

“planted a kiss right on the mouth.” pg. 624 Yes!

“And I laughed. As if some freak who had never loved enough to know loss could tell me  about pain.” pg. 631 Yep

“Thrice I bid you thee! By my name I command thee: Tell me who you are?” pg. 632 Yes go Harry!

“Go ahead! I shouted. “Go ahead and eat me! And then we’ll see if you’ve got the stomach to keep me down!” pg. 635 Yes let’s go!

The Erkling is so cool

“The real Cat Sith wouldn’t be having this conversation with me, ya know. He’d have killed me by now.” pg. 645 Yep that’s not Cat Sith

WAIT

WAIT A MINUTE

Maeve has to be the one behind all of this because Molly becomes the new winter lady. It just took me till chapter forty four and 80% of the way through the book to remember that Molly becomes the next Winter Lady oops

“Like she did when you infected Lea.” pg. 647 :0 I was right

“I love nights like this!” he bellowed “I love Halloween!” pg. 652 Well I’m glad someone is having fun because Harry sure isn’t

“We were cruising down the surface of Lake Michigan, and it was chock full of monastery goodness-and we had just left the Wild Hunt.” pg. 653 Oh no

“You are so hot right now.” pg. 654 Ha and yay

“Warden,” he said

“Asshat” I replied” pg. 665 Ha

“You’re trying to recruit me?”

“The offer is made,” the Walker said. “We always appreciate new talent.” pg. 665 Harry is drowning in job offers

“I’m no one’s puppet,” I said

The Walker actually barked out a short laugh. “At what point have you been any thing else?” pg. 665 Ouch poor Harry

“Stay there. You will not be molested.” pg. 665 Was that really the word choice you used?

“What else did I have?

I had friends.” pg. 666 Yay!

“Get rocked,” I said, and pulled the trigger.” pg. 670 Yes!

“And for the first time in a decade the Winter Knight and Summer Knight went to war.” pg. 686 Yooo

“I felt sick, like I was fighting a blind man.” pg. 691 Ouch

“Lilly” I said wearily. “Listen to me. We’ve both been set up by Maeve.” pg. 699 Yep

Poor Lilly

Harry’s putting the pieces together

“Fix looked at me, dirty, naked, shivering, burned, bruised, covered in soot and ash.

“Fuck,” he said” pg. 710 Ha

“My daughter is in town” I said in a whisper

He blinked “You have a…?” pg. 711 Harry told Fix about his daughter?! Why? How many people now know about Maggie?

Thomas!

Yes good mud plan everyone.

“My dress? You were wearing rhinestones. And nothing else!”

Maeve’s face contorted in rage. “They. Were. Diamonds.” pg. 733 Ha and Sarissa and Meave have to be sisters

“Hell’s bells you’re identical twins”

“Not identical twins” they both said at exactly the same time, at the exact same tone of outrage. They broke off to glare at each other.” pg. 734 Ha and they’re twins even better

“Where is her love? Where is her fury? Where is her anything?” pg. 737 Poor Maeve

“Mab! Mab! Mab! I summon thee!” pg. 739 Harry is just summoning all the fae

“Cease. This. Rudeness. At once.” pg. 741 Oh Mab is mad. I love that Harry called Maeve’s mom on her

LILY! Ahhhhh what just happened? Is Lilly ok? She’s gonna live right? Right? She can’t just die. Where did Meave get a gun? Was Lilly shot in the head? What about Fix? Who would be the next Summer Lady if Lilly dies? What’s happening??

“Fire flicked to life over the late Summer Lady”

“Directly to Sarissa” pg. 745 Poor Lilly poor Sarissa :(

“Sarissa wasn’t the only Faerie vessel on the hilltop. She was simply the one Meave had been meant to see.” pg. 748 Molly

This is how Molly becomes the Winter Lady?!? So much death why?

“Then I thumped back the hammer on the little gun and put the barrel against Mab’s forehead.” pg. 753 Harry what are you doing? It’s so cool though 

“As far as your career as a mentor goes, you grew into much the same image as DuMorne.” pg. 756 Mab did not just go there. Harry should punch Mab. I should punch Mab let me at her >:( hiss Harry and DuMorne are nothing alike

“Deamonreach,” I said. “If our guest pulls that trigger, take her below and keep her there.” pg. 758 So cool!

“The one given to her by the Red Court at Bianca’s masquerade. That was how the Leanansidle was tainted-and your godmother spread it to Maeve before I could set it right.”

“Oh” I said. I’d been at that party” pg. 761 That party! It’s been over a decade in universe and it still has repercussions. It started in book 3 and it’s now book 14. That’s 11 books! Did Bianca plan for this to happen when she gave Lea the athame? Did Bianca know? What was her plan? Like her plan has backfired on her.

First the vampire war

Second half turning Susan which led to the destruction of the Red Court

Third the gravestone gift helped Harry in Ghost story

Fourth the Athame definitely cause problems for the fae but Lea hit her revenge

Did Bianca know that the athame would taint Lea with the Outsiders?

“I was mortal once, you know” pg. 761 Oh interesting

“You meant me to have the Wild Hunt.” pg. 764 So cool

“His face seemed leaner, and for that instant I saw Vadderung’s wolfish features lurking inside Kringle’s.” pg. 764 Ohhhh

“Stared closing up the minute she was done.” pg. 767 Oh interesting so Mac definitely isn’t human

Ouch Murphy and Harry’s talk :(

“So goddammit, don’t you start taking the highway to Hell. Because I’m going to be right there with you. All the way.” pg. 773 Aw :)

“But I can’t help but think that Fix is going to hold you responsible for some of what happened last night.” pg. 775 Yeah :(

“And it’s got nothing to do with facing Molly’s parents?

“And it’s got nothing to do with facing Maggie” pg. 776 Thomas calls out Harry

“Thomas ignored me and gave me a rib-cracking hug.” pg. 777 Aw hugs :)

“There was a storm coming.” pg. 778 Spooky

Final thoughts

Such a good book. I liked the fights. I thought the book was funny. Answered questions and gave me more. Poor Mab, Meave, Sarissa, Lilly, and Molly. No Bi Harry moments. Hopefully there will be more in the next book. I’m glad Thomas is doing better and he and Harry reconciled. I would have liked to see more actual PT. Yes I’m that sort of weirdo :) I liked Cat Sith. I don’t like the Winter Mantle. No dad Harry moments :( Presumably Bonnie will be born in the next book. Can’t wait to meet her!

[zafiro-anyejo]

a few months ago i was visiting my aunt who is wealthier than my family was, and I noticed she made her daughter a resume. her daughter is 12. with a resume. and whatever sport she wants to learn or thing she wants to do, my aunt makes sure it is done.

i think about how when I was 12, my dad took me for a car ride--just me and him--and confessed 'i feel like we do a lot for your brother, with all the sports he plays, and sometimes forget about you. what do you like to do? what could we do for you?' and in my mind I thought 'I want to write', but i lived in a small town and didn't think such a thing as 'writing classes/camps for 12 year olds' even existed. I also liked art, but i hated the structure of it. (this is how you draw a face: with a circle bisected by a cross, and a rectangle underneath. all grown men are the height of seven and a half to eight faces, etc). and i guess i didn't want to disappoint him, so I said "nothing. I'm fine. I don't like sports anyway." and that was that. He never brought it up again and I never asked.

And i think, like, that's the thing. As a parent you need to have a balance of NOT making your kid scramble for scraps of attention, and also NOT doing absolutely EVERYTHING for them. You can be their friend but you also have to be their teacher, find a balance between the helicopter parent and one who watches from a distance. You need to make sure they have enough activities to socialize but not too much that they forget how to be a kid.

an old coworker of mine had her daughters stay at home over the summer, and I could see how her parental anxiety drip-fed into them: there are surveillance cameras inside the house and I can see you at all times, keep the door locked and don't go outside. and if someone knocks on the door, hide in the closet and don't come out. One day her seven year old called and asked for help microwaving a tv dinner, because her older sister was busy.

so my coworker said "it's right on the package. you need to learn to do things yourself. i'm at work, i can't always be around to help you." and that's, like, fair I guess?

But also one time in college my car blew a gasket (because I didn't understand the sacred importance of oil changes/I had anxiety about money and taking my car to auto shops). I don't remember if I called the tow company first or my mom. When I told my mom about it, partly to vent and partly because I didn't know what to do--I had never been in this situation before--she said "just call the insurance company. idk why you called me, I'm hundreds of miles away; What do you want me to do? It's not like I can drive over there. I can't deal with this right now."

Sometimes you learn these lessons too young, sometimes too late.

one of my friends was staying the night at my apartment a few weeks ago and in the morning she saw that traffic was bad. So she called her parents to ask if she should brave the traffic or just wait a little while; she needed their opinion, since they drove around the city more than her. They were patient. They offered suggestions. Part of me flared in envy; part of me thought "can't you make a decision without their input? You're almost 30."

I stayed silent while my coworker complained to her daughter. I stay silent whenever I want to ask for my mom's help, unless it's related to bookkeeping. I already know her answer: "have you tried looking it up on youtube?"

Lately my aunt was telling my mom she warns her daughter about making friends with "certain" kids. Namely, the ones who don't have a mother. "they're just... always a little troublesome." my aunt said. "Yeah," replied my mom. "definitely." Then my mom said "I think moms influence kids more than dads."

One of my high school friends lived without a mother. Once I confessed envy about our friend B, because she was able to like fandom stuff and get things she wanted; she didn't have to hide parts of herself from her parents in fear of being judged. Boys at school loved her because she was this "pure and giggly and sweet and innocent" girl, whereas I was the "surly and quiet and sweet and not giggly but still spontaneously funny" one. Anyway, my friend said, quietly, "sometimes I'm jealous of you." Because of my mom. Because sometimes the occasionally strained relationship is better than none at all.

I feel like having different type of friends gave my life such texture. I am the person I am for better or worse, because of this.

I have a theory that my aunt is controlling my 12 year old cousin's life to the point where she eventually won't have any other friends but wealthy ones. I don't have any evidence of this, of course. But I feel like that is what she curates for her daughter: houses that feel like museums and parents who drive Teslas and are "happily" married and have their kids with good grades on a track to get full ride scholarships.

"You are all so independent," says my mom proudly. My sister and I look at each other, a shared thought: Because we have to be. What other choice do we have?

I wish I had an armful of moments like being in the car with my dad. I wish I had the courage back then to say what I felt. I wish I would have pushed harder to get things I want rather than take the long way around. and I wish my mom had taken more moments to breathe through her irritation and ask "what do you need from me right now?" instead of "mother knows best, but ask google."

Lately I have been self-deprecating more. I recently told her "I'm emotionally high maintenance" and she said "well, everyone is." And at a different point I said "I don't think I ask for too much." and she didn't reply. She either disagreed or didn't hear me.