lonelyl00n

[lonelyl00n]

I saw this theory that In Ho styled his hair after Sangwoo & I had to draw it.

[lonelyl00n]

collateral | b.e

The last time you had seen Billie was 6 months ago, the tone it had been left on was sour, an argument if she was as committed to the relationship as you were. Half of a year since then, and you were still looking for answers. Did she miss you as much as you missed her? No, you don’t miss her. You can’t miss her. But when you're alone in your bed on a cold winter night, you let your mind drift off to imagine her warmth surrounding you, holding you just as she used to. You miss her in the quiet moments of life.

You look over to your nightstand, the clock reading 3:26 AM. deciding sleep is a lost cause, you pick up your phone and scroll mindlessly, trying to distract yourself from the ache in your heart. As if the algorithm was laughing at you, an ad of billie promoting her upcoming project pops up. She talks and smiles, telling whoever would be watching how excited she is for everyone to hear her art. You search her eyes, a sign that she could even be remotely sad without you. Maybe it’s the fact that the video is prerecorded, or maybe she doesn’t feel your absence at all that makes you find nothing.

You can't stop your mind from going back to that fateful night.

“So what, you just want to end this?” she stands with you, toe to toe and tears glossing over her blue eyes. “Billie, you’re not even hearing me, just hearing what you want to hear!” tears fill your own eyes, blurring your vision. The argument escalated quickly, emotions that had been brewing in you for months finally spilling out at an alarming rate.

You continue, “I just feel used, okay? We’ve been going out for a year without even being together officially. I understand that you’re busy, that the situation isn’t as simple as it seems, but fuck billie. You’ve had time, and I've had enough.” the girl in front of you falls silent, her mouth slightly ajar as she tries to collect her thoughts. The tension only grows as she stays quiet. “So that’s it then? You have nothing to say?” Billie picks up her jaw and rolls her eyes.

“I want you, truly. It's just tha-” you cut her off with a sarcastic laugh, tears rolling down your cheeks. “There's always an excuse, bil! I’m just never enough for you, never enough to just be yours.” eye contact breaks as you look down to the floor, quiet sobs escaping your mouth. Billie is quick to step forward and pull you close. Too tired to fight back, you melt into her arms.

“I’m sorry, baby. I am.” she whispers into your hair, “i just…can’t” you look up at her, eyes red and puffy. “You can’t? Can’t do what you're doing right now?” you push her off of you, anger over taking once again. “Don’t make it sound like that, y/n. You know it’s more than that”

“A year billie! And for what? For you to just use me, use my love, my time, my body?” Billie's eyebrows scrunch at your words. “I would never use you, I love you, you know that.” she begins to defend herself. “Then what are you doing?” your ears feel warm and your stomach is churning. You already know where this is going, despite your best efforts.

You look at each other, a desperation in both of your eyes, a hunger.

“I don’t know.” she whispers.

“Leave, now.” you respond.

“y/n, don’t do this. Please, please don’t do this” she begs you, pleading. “No billie, I can't keep doing this.” Billie's tears finally falling down her rosy cheeks, a look of acceptance settles onto her face.

“Okay.”

You watch her grab her keys and walk towards the door. She looks back at you one final time, hoping you would change your mind. Crossing your arms, you stand firmly, despite feeling anything but confident.

You sit on the edge of your bed, holding your knees to your chest. Cries rake through your body, the memory being all too much. A ding from your phone makes you look up, rubbing the tears from your eyes as you pick up the device. It feels like the world stops spinning as you read the notification.

Billie

hey

maze speaks !

this is so ass </3 so sorry :p first fic tho! just hoping i get better as time goes on (part two probs)

[lonelyl00n]

[lonelyl00n]

Call Me Daddy Podcast

WARNINGS: SMUT, strap, R riding Billie. WORDS: 4.9k ✩: Billie and you are invited to the Call Her Daddy Podcast because of your mutual friend, the tension and teasing leads to one thing both of you have been wanting for a while...

“y/n you made it oh my god,” Alex greets you when you walk into her little studio where you guys will be filming her next podcast episode. You have been friends with Alex for a while now and she has been begging you to join her in one of her sessions for her Call her Daddy Podcast, which has been super popular on the internet, but you always found excuses as you weren’t sure what to even talk about or didn’t like the guest she invited.

But this time, it was different. She said she is doing a podcast interview with Billie tonight and you always had a little crush on the singer. You met her a couple of times duo to mutual friends and you knowing many people in the industry, as your parents were actors and producers, but other than a few conversations at parties or Billie liking your instagram posts in the middle of the nights, nothing really happened between the two of you. Whenever you talked to her in person tho, she would say ‘text me sometime yeah?’ when the two of you said your goodbyes, but you never did.

You didn’t want to come off as, well, you didn’t even know yourself, groupie? annoying nepo baby? easy? Whatever it was, something was holding you back. Also, she could just text you herself, instead of stalking your instagram stories or liking your pictures at 3AM. It bothered you that she wouldn’t make a move, making you feel like she wasn’t even interested a tiny bit.

You knew she was into girls, some of your friends were talking or have been hooking up with her, so you knew what she was into or how she would casually hit girls up on instagram. So it bothered you even more, that she probably didn’t find you attractive. Her behavior in real life was always so different to how she was “treating” you as soon as you guys said your goodbyes. 

At first, you weren’t even sure if you should join the podcast, but Alex left some comments, which made you question if she knew something you didn’t. Stuff like “c’mon y/n, y’all have met at Michaels party last month and she was eye fucking you all evening, she would probably be happy if she knew I called you to join,” or “what if Billie requested me to ask you, when I told her to think about someone we could ask to join us?”.

You knew Alex wouldn’t put you in a situation that made you uncomfortable, and you definitely told her about your silly little crush on Billie when you were drunk one night, so maybe Alex was right you said to yourself. Maybe it is going to be a fun few hours. I mean, Billie was always nothing but nice to you, so you should be fine. 

“Heeeey Alex, pretty girl,” you said when you walked in, looking at her with a big smile on your face. “I’m sorry, traffic was ass, the driver wouldn’t hit the fucking pedal. But I got us some drinks and takis, I know they are your favorite,” you told her as you placed your bag on a small table next to a couch, with microphones, assuming that’s where you will sit in a few minutes when you guys film your podcast.

Right as you were putting your phone on DND, she walked into the room like she owned it.

“Takis are my favorite too. I knew you were wifey material y/n,”. Billie came in, fixing her baggy pants and belt, probably coming back from the restroom. She was giggling and walking towards you, giving you a tight hug. The comment and her suddenly walking into the room caught you off guard. Your heart was  suddenly beating ten times faster than usual. “Oh my god where did you even come from right now?” You laugh hugging her back, trying your best to seem as cool and chill as possible. 

When her hands met your back, you felt her squeeze your lower back for a second, which made your cheeks flush red. She definitely knew what she was doing. You break the hug and look at her face, noticing how her big blue eyes came with her signature, soft smile. “You look good today y/n, how have you been? It’s been a while.” She says, not leaving your eyes for a second, attaching her hand to your waist so she still keeps contact with your body after you breaking the hug.

You let out a soft giggle, letting her hold your waist as you walk towards the couch with her. You could almost feel your heartbeat in your throat, but somehow you gained confidence and didn’t act shy at all. “Thank you, I put on a red headscarf just for you” you jokingly say, which wasn’t really a joke but you made it seem like one. You knew Billie liked a pretty girl with a scarf so you put one on, and surprisingly, she had a green one under her cap too.

“Also, I have been good, just came back from Mexico but you saw that in my instagram the other night right? You could have at least left a like or something. What about you?” You say as you plop on the couch, getting comfortable and touching the microphone that was set on your side, noticing how Alex is taking the whole conversation you two had in, with wide eyes.

Billie on the other hand, was overwhelmed with the way you were acting. She definitely liked this new side of you, it turned her on how you were talking to her, teasing her in every sentence. But it also made her blush, that you were being so bold in front of Alex. She thankfully found a glass of water on the table and grabbed it taking a sip, trying to cool down her nerves and hot cheeks. She grins and looks over to Alex, trying to catch her reaction to what was going on. “Haha you got me there. I have been good too. Also cute how your red scarf is matching me so well. Like I said, wifey material.” She puts her glass back on the table and ends her sentence with a soft laugh.

Alex then turns your microphones on and explains how the podcast will proceed, telling you that if there is anything that makes you uncomfortable to just let her know and she will cut it out or change the topic. The podcast session was really fun, for all of you. You started talking about the basics, how you guys have been doing, what’s going on with your schedules at the moment, hopping onto some Hollywood gossip each one of you had and then drifting to a little deeper conversations. And as soon as you noticed, 70 minutes had already passed.

“Okay girls so for every podcast episode we play this little game,” Alex says and she turns around to grab something from behind her little chair. It was a jar filled with little notes. She put the jar on her lap and starts explaining, “so basically I collect some truth or dares our listeners send us for me to ask the next guests on the podcast, each one of you has to pick a note and read it out loud and then either answer or do it, you can’t choose if you want a truth or dare, and no backing off by the way. If it says jump out of the window you gotta do it, I need to go viral. I’m just kidding.” She covers her mouth laughing at the two of you, noticing your shocked faces. 

You both laugh at her and you go first grabbing the jar. “Okay oh god I’m nervous. It better say I can grab 5 grants from each of you or something.” You put your fingers in and pick a small note. You open the paper and read it out loud, “It says, show or name us a famous person who was sliding in your dms.” You cup your face letting out a small scream. Billie turns her head to Alex, giving her a grin and lifting her eyebrows up. “Give us some tea girl” she tells you as you try to hide your face.

“Let me think for a second oh my god. I don’t even know if I will get in trouble for saying the name, can we censor it? I’m shaking this is crazy,” you laugh not knowing if you should drop the name. Alex sits up on her chair, grabbing each side of it trying to stable her body from her excitement. Her mouth is open, knowing you are probably going to drop a big name any second. “Y/n I’m actually begging you to tell us, I’ll censor it don’t worry.” She then looks into the camera, silently saying a “I will tell you” to the viewers so they won’t get angry. 

You let your hands slide down your face, take a deep breath, look to Billie first and then to Alex and drop a quick “Drake.” and then immediately say in a loud tone “Okay Billie is next!”, to cover up what you just said but both of them were quiet, jaws on the floor.

The room fell quiet for a few seconds, your breath stopping and eyes wide and what you had just casually dropped in front of the internet. You turn to Alex, giving her a shy look as if you were a puppy asking for their owners food, hoping she would say something to move the conversation to something else or to Billie grabbing her note. “That. Is crazy y/n. What did he want?” Alex scream whispers at you and you immediately turn to Billie, trying to make her pick her damn note so you can move on. But something in Billie’s behavior shifted. Her face wasn’t smiley anymore, her eyes looked, disappointed? Mouth a tiny bit open, just starring at you with no reaction, grabbing her microphone making her knuckles turn white.

“Billie c’mon it’s your turn, pleaseee.” You beg Billie for a reaction, which makes her look at Alex, instead of you, waiting for what the host wants to do next for her podcast. Push the Drake story or move on to Billie. 

Alex can feel the awkward tension and doesn’t wanna push you anymore, feeling like the name drop was already enough for a good podcast moment, thinking about maybe just making a new episode just with the two of you so she has something for upcoming weeks.

She then lets a small laugh out, “Okay girl but once the microphones and cameras are turned off, I’m getting all the tea,” she basically threats you, giving Billie the jar now and moving back to her seat.

“Go on Eilish, pick your note and free y/n from this,”. 

Billie took a few seconds to recover from what she just heard and shakes her head, making herself present for the conversation again. “Oh yeah sure, damn let's go”. She bites her lip and takes a small note out of the jar, opening it and reading it silently to herself first. 

“Well it says, the person sitting on your right has to sit on your lap for the rest of the episode,” she says as she folds the paper into a small ball, throwing it on the table in front of her.

She looks to the right, her eyes landing on you, lips revealing a little smile.

“Looks like this is the worst day ever to you, sorry y/n,” she laughs, bringing her hand to her mouth playing with her lip, trying to hide her nervousness about what you’re going to say.

Alex lets out a laugh, watching you two deal with the situation yourselves, not stepping in. You furrow your eyebrows and look at Billie, not being sure if she just made that up or if someone really wrote it down for the guests. But without thinking too much about it, you stand up from your seat, pulling your shirt a little down and make two steps towards Billie with a smile on your face. Billie spreads her legs a little so you have more room to sit on and puts her hands towards you, letting one slide into your hand and the other on your waist, pulling you slowly towards her, onto her lap. 

You sit on her lap, back resting on her chest slowly so you won’t put too much pressure on her body, getting a little comfortable on her lap and and putting your hands on your own legs, not knowing exactly where to put them. Billie notices you being a little unsure and slides her hands around you, intertwining your fingers together to keep you close and to steady your body so you won’t somehow slide off.

You turn your head towards her face, looking into her eyes for a few seconds, smiling softly and blinking more than usual. Somehow noticing her features from a new perspective as you weren’t that close to her face before. Her long black eyelashes matching her crystal clear blue eyes perfectly, her little freckles covering her nose and her lips having the prettiest shade of nude mixed with a little pink. You smile and look up to her green cap, which has been a little too sideways, you put it perfectly in place again and remove a little fabric off of her eyebrow, making her take every little move and feature of your face in. You notice her intimate look in her eyes and your cheeks turn red. 

Turning back to Alex, the three of you answer a few questions from the fans, who left some online on Twitter under the #CallHerDaddyPodcast hashtag for the upcoming guests, which turned out to be you. After a few minutes, you didn’t even notice you were sitting on Billies lap anymore as you got super comfortable, till she slightly pushed her hips up to pull her shirt a little down and get comfortable again in her seat. You suddenly felt something hard pushing into your ass, assuming it was her belt which has a big metallic part at the front. 

Just as you guys were wrapping up the podcast, there was a knock on the studio door and Alex little sister puts her head around the corner, telling Alex that there was someone on the phone who needs to speak to her which seemed urgent.

She gets up taking her phone and talking to the person on the other line, letting out a few “mhm’s, yeah”, “of course no worries, I’ll be on my way”. Walking back to the two of you, she looks down, phone still in her hands as she was typing something.

“Girls, the groomer called me, I gotta go bring them some paper work because my dog has allergies and they aren’t sure which shampoo to use, so I’ll be there and watch over just to make sure she’s fine, it should only take around 30-40 minutes as it’s right around the corner by car, so feel free to stay and chat and then we can grab some dinner, yeah?” She lets out a quiet sigh, giving the two of you a sympathetic look. 

“Yeah no worries, take your time, I’m here with my own car so I got all the time I want today. We will be here waiting for you,” Billie responds back, basically deciding for the both of you which you found cute. 

You smile at Alex and grab her hand, “I beg you to send me a video once her fur is wet please, she looks so cute and funny. I can’t wait to see my baby oh my god,” you loved Alex’s dog, she was the cutest poodle in the world. 

Alex gives both of you a hug, grabs her bag and leave the studio, closing the door behind her. As you watched her go, you suddenly realized that you are left alone with Billie, which was never the case before because you guys were always surrounded by people every time you met somewhere. 

You suddenly felt her left hand grab your waist, making it hit you that you are still sitting on her lap and not knowing what to do next. Should you get up and sit next to her? Do you just stay still? What the hell are you supposed to do now? Your heart is almost falling out of your ass right into her lap. 

Billie breaks the awkward silence with a, “So, Drake huh?” she looks at you, slightly titling her head to the side so she can see your side profile. 

You gulp, rolling your eyes and turning your body towards her, putting your right arm over her shoulders and neck so you basically look down to her while still sitting on her lap so you guys can face each other. 

“You still on that topic? What do you wanna know Bills”, you giggle, looking down. 

“Honestly just wanna know if you replied back, he doesn’t look like your type.”

You furrow your eyebrows, giving her a weird look, “my type? what do you know about my type?”, you look at her, little annoyed about what she has to say about you because her behavior was irritating. Why is she always flirty with you but never making any move, not even sliding in your dms? Why does it have to be Drake, who you never interacted or met before and not her? 

Billie’s smile fading, caught a little off guard by your annoyed answer, she thought you would tease back, even tho she really was annoyed that Drake was in your dms. 

“Woah relax. Just got me mad that he is texting my wifey” she quickly lets out, trying to shift the conversation in a better mood, bringing her hand on the back of your neck and letting it rest there. 

“You know what Billie, you are honestly annoying. Why do you always stalk my instagram but can never write me a dm asking me how I’m doing or some shit?” You just let your honest thoughts out, genuinely wanting an answer to the questions you had for a long time. You notice Billie giving you a confused look, bringing her hand to your cheek and slowly caressing it with her thumb, which made your body heat up. “I mean, I didn’t know if you wanted me to, I thought I made the first move with liking your pics every time you would post..” Her eyes slowly going down your body, taking the view in. She looks back up, removing your arm from her shoulders and says, “Can you turn around properly, I’m not comfy like that.”, lying to you because she had a plan.

You immediately say sorry and try to get up from her lap until she grabs your body. “I never said get off of me baby, just properly sit on me so we can both get comfortable,” she says as she brings your body back down, helping you put each leg on her sides and putting her hands on your lower back, pushing you more forward and close to her body so your chest and private part are pressed against hers. She lets her arms stay around your lower body and looks up to you, giving you a proud smile. 

You were completely soaked by her actions, hoping she wouldn’t somehow notice the mess in your panties as you were only wearing brown leggings. You wrapped your own arms around her neck, looking deep into her eyes, not knowing what to say as you were in some kind of trance. Her eyes land on the door and then back to you, slowly caressing your lower back and bringing her hands to each side of your waist, grabbing your body and pushing your ass towards her and then back again, bringing a smirk to her face.

The eye contact you two had was intense, neither of you looking away for one second, you got closer to her face, now starting to slowly grind on her by yourself, her hands still attached to your waist. She lets out a small sigh, putting her head back and closing her eyes, enjoying your movement a little too much, which now brings a smirk to your face. Once she opens her eyes again, the soft look she had all day suddenly revealed something different, her eyes were filled with lust and she could barely keep them open. “Come down, give me a kiss,” she murmurs in a husky tone. 

You slowly move your head down and closer to her face, lips almost touching hers, not stopping yourself grinding on her. She grabs your ass hard and then brings one hand to your face, holding you tight behind your ear and jaw, bringing your lips to hers while pushing your ass faster towards her, making you speed up your movements. 

You let out a moan into her mouth, feeling her soft lips on yours and her hand grabbing your ass hard, while also feeling her down on your pussy making your body get overwhelmed with the 3 different feelings all at once. You guys have a hot make out session for 5 minutes, filled with moans and her kissing your neck in-between, making you go absolutely crazy. She then pulls away slowly, letting her hands go down from your neck to your boobs, massaging them a little, making your head fall back.

You feel her hands then slide down your body and you hear her play with her belt, which makes your eyes shoot open as you look down at her actions. 

Suddenly realizing again where you guys where, knowing Alex would be back soon.

“Billie, what are you-“, she stops her movement, and brings her middle finger towards your mouth, letting you suck her finger as she shuts you up with a quiet “sshhh”.

“Now open my belt for me, but don’t stop what your doing with your pretty mouth.”

You swear you were about to cum by just that, you try distracting your mind with her belt as you try opening it, still sucking on her finger, giving her a look every now and then noticing her eyes attached to your face, mouth slightly open. 

She then pulls her finger out, looking at your saliva covering it and bringing her own middle finger to her mouth, sucking on it slowly. She goes down to her belt, removing it from her pants and then opening her zipper.

“Put your ass up for a second.” She commands you, making you put pressure on your knees to slightly stand up on the couch so she has space to do whatever she’s trying to do with her pants. 

She opens her zipper and grabs into her baggy pants, making your eyes shoot open as you saw her pull out her strap she was wearing this whole time, which was probably the hard thing pushing towards you instead of her belt as soon as you sat on her lap earlier.

She then quickly grabs your face, giving you a deep kiss before slowly pushing your body back, telling you to get up from the couch to slide your leggings off. And you do exactly that. You rush to the door, locking it because the anxiety about Alex coming back kills you, as you turn around, you saw Billie look at your ass biting her lip and one hand around her strap. You walk back to the blue eyed girl, holding into her shoulder so you can steady yourself above her lap. She softly grabs your thighs rubbing them and looks up, “such a pretty girl..” She whispers. 

You were nervous as hell about all of this, usually not the kind of person randomly hooking up with someone in a not so private place, but the girls eyes captured you and somehow took over your body and mind. She bought her finger to your pussy, being the most gentle ever, slowly and carefully leaving small circles around and on your clit, getting you ready to take her in a matter of seconds. As soon as her cold fingers touched your pussy, you shut your eyes, letting out a loud and long sigh. Your thighs suddenly felt so heavy and your legs started to shake a little bit, making Billie notice how your body was reacting.

“Wanna sit down baby?” She asks, rubbing your clit with one hand and your thigh with her free one. You nod, removing her hand from your pussy and bringing it up to your boobs, letting her grab them for a bit. You then hold her strap up with your right hand and grabbing into her shoulder with your left hand, steadying yourself and needing something to grab onto. 

As soon as the top of her strap touches your entrance, you let out a moan, forehead falling towards hers. “Take it slow mamas, you’re so fucking hot.” Billie whispers into your ear, making you get wetter, if that was even possible.

You slowly sat down on her strap, taking it all in and letting out a loud moan, shutting your eyes and pressing your legs together. Billie watches you, aroused as ever and brings her hands back on your hips, starting to slowly push you towards her.

“Fuck you feel amazing” you breathe out, riding her slowly, moans slipping out of your mouth.

As your pace picks up, the studio is soon filled with the sounds of your wet pussy crushing against her strap, your moans and her groans. The faster you ride her, the louder Billie’s breathe gets as her strap was pushing against her own clit with your movements. She grabs your ass cheeks hard, pushing you up and down fast on her dick, making you let your head fall back. 

“Right there Billie, don’t stop.” As soon as you said these words, Billie held your ass and was now thrusting her strap into your pussy by lifting her upper body up and down, fucking you fast and hard.

“Fuck.” She murmurs, pushing you down on her dick every time she pushes her hips up to hit your G spot. 

You hold into her shoulders, not being able to open your eyes as she was fucking you so good.

“Bil- Bills don’t fucking stop, I-I’m so close,” you moan out, making her fuck you deeper.

And soon enough, both of you shared an orgasm at the same time, moaning loudly into her neck. Your body collides into hers and she holds you close, wrapping her arms around your body, giving you your time to stabilize your breathe again. 

“Fuck that was so hot, can’t believe it took me so long,” she whispers, kissing your upper body slowly, also trying to catch her breath.

You smile, giving her a deep kiss before breaking your bodies apart and picking up your clothes from the floor. 

Billie also slowly pulls her pants up again and brings her clothes back into place before Alex notices anything. She grabs her glass from the table taking a sip before handing it to you. 

After both of you came down from the adrenaline kick and high, she stands up pulling you into a hug. “I’ll go to the restroom and fix myself a little before Alex comes back in a minute, let’s wait outside for her, yeah?” She asks you, leaving kisses all over your face making you giggle.

You nod and walk towards the door, suddenly feeling Billie slap your ass.

“You better block that funny looking dude because you’re all mine.” You let out a laugh, not believing that she is still hung up on that Drake topic.

“You just made me cum and still think about Drake? Billie shut up.” 

“It’s Daddy for you from now on by the way.” You roll your eyes, leaving the room with a grin on your face.

You were waiting outside with Billie and Alex showed up with her Dog six minutes later, picking you guys up to drive to her favorite restaurant for dinner. You and Billie couldn’t keep your hands from each other under the table, smiling and teasing each other whenever Alex wasn’t looking for a second. After a few hours, all of you said your goodbyes, Billie not being able to have another private moment with you because Alex dropped you off at home before returning to the studio so Billie could hop into her car.

As soon as you got home, you checked your phone and saw an instagram notification from ‘BILLIE EILISH’.

Your heart beating, you hurry to open the app, noticing that she sent you a DM. Billie Eilish: hey wifey.

Your face turns red as you let out an excited chuckle. This was only the beginning of something you both wanted for a very long time… <3 Authors note: Hiiii guys, finally found a few hours of free time between work and studying for my exams. This took me hours so I hope anyone likes it, would love some feedback or comments, love you all so much have the best week starting tomorrow. - Xx.

[lonelyl00n]

loser billie’s been on my mind lately

loser billie that will drop everything to focus on you

loser billie that has you as her lock screen, so that every time she gets hit on she can just flash a picture of you and walk away

loser billie that loves it when you pick out funny shirts for her like: ‘i ❤️ my sexy gf’ ‘i have a wife please get away from me’ ‘girls love my loser swag’ ‘i’m afraid of women’ etc.

loser billie that the main high point of her day is when you come back home to her

loser billie that’s a little too touchy in public because she just can’t believe you’re all hers

loser billie that gets so engrossed in her games and rambles on and on about them while you just admire her pretty smile

loser billie that likes it when you stare at her hands when she’s using her game controller

loser billie that gets so focused on her game or her music that she doesn’t notice you taking your clothes off in front of her

loser billie that follows you around that a dog on a leash

loser billie that will do anything to satisfy you, you’re her main priority

loser billie that begs to touch you

loser billie that would rather make you cum that herself any day of the week

loser billie that doesn’t care how desperate or pathetic she seems, as long as she’s pleasing you she’s satisfied

hope you guys enjoy this little drabble while i work on a few other fics !!

send any reqs to my inbox! 📥

💋: @vharperr @brat-at-the-disco-deactivated20 @thechipbetweenyourcarseat @dollyvuu @greenbttrflyy @eilishslut @karaeilishh @moralesluvr @anna-geeeezzzz @certifiedwomenlover @asterisk-eyes @mseilishmwah @eeuni @ohdoyoustillcry @bilsdillldough @amara-eilish @chrissv4mp @vijaxx @drunkinyourbenz @adinda-eilish @bxllxebxtch @mybluebossanova

masterlist taglist

[lonelyl00n]

Peachy🧡✨🍑

Billie was always that friend. You know the one—the touchy, flirty, effortlessly charming type who could hug someone out of nowhere or plant a cheeky kiss on someone’s forehead, leaving everyone in a daze while she just smirked and walked away. It wasn’t like she was trying to make people fall for her (not on purpose, anyway); it was just her way. She was warm, tactile, and confident in a way that made her magnetic to everyone she met.

But recently, Billie’s affectionate attention had shifted… to you.

It started subtle at first: a lingering hug when she arrived at hangouts, an arm slung casually around your shoulder during movie nights, or a playful nudge followed by that signature smirk of hers. Slowly but surely, it became more frequent. A kiss on the cheek when she said goodbye. Her legs draped over yours when you sat next to each other on the couch. Fingers tracing lightly over your arm as she teased you about something innocuous.

You tried not to read into it. After all, Billie was like this with everyone…. right? It was just her personality. But, it was becoming harder to ignore the butterflies that swarmed in your stomach every time she hugged you or the way your face flushed when she leaned close, her voice low and playful as she called you a sweet nickname.

Like tonight.

The group had decided on a cozy night in at your place, and Billie had shown up fashionably late, as usual. The second she walked in the door, she zeroed in on you, her eyes lighting up in that familiar way that made your heart skip a beat.

“Hey pretty girl,” she said, smirking as she opened her arms wide.

You tried to play it cool, but there was no stopping the flush that crept up your neck as you stood up to greet her. “Hi, Billie.”

She pulled you into a hug, her arms wrapping tightly around you as if she hadn’t seen you in years instead of just a few days. Her cheek brushed against yours, and you could smell her cologne—a warm, woodsy scent that made your knees feel weak. It mixed with the sweet citrusy, floral perfume you had on, one Billie was starting to fall for.

“You smell so good, peach,” she murmured, her nose grazing your jaw, before pressing a quick kiss there.

You laughed nervously, hoping she couldn’t feel how fast your heart was pounding. “Uh, thanks. You, too.”

When she finally let go, she kept an arm around your shoulder, guiding you back to the couch where the rest of your friends were lounging. She plopped down beside you, her leg immediately brushing against yours, and you had to fight the urge to scoot away. Not because you didn’t like it—God, you loved it—but because you were terrified she’d notice how much her touch affected you.

The night went on, with the group laughing and chatting as Billie’s presence remained firmly anchored to your side. At one point, she stretched out on the couch, her head resting comfortably on your lap. She looked up at you with a lazy smile, her blue eyes glinting mischievously.

“Comfy?” you asked giggling, but trying to sound nonchalant.

“Very,” she said, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “You make a great pillow, babe,” she added before sending you a wink.

Your cheeks burned, but you managed a soft laugh. “Glad I could help.”

She stayed there for the better part of an hour, her fingers occasionally grazing your knee or tracing absentminded patterns on your hand. You tried to focus on the conversation around you, but all you could think about was how close she was, how warm her body felt against yours, and how much you didn’t want her to move.

Eventually, the group decided to watch a movie. The lights were dimmed, and everyone else settled into their usual spots, with Billie predictably sticking to you like glue. This time, she sat up and pulled you over to sit in her lap with your back to her front, her arm draped over your waist as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Your breath hitched as she set her chin on your shoulder, nose brushing your cheek.

“You comfy, mama?” she murmured, her breath tickling your ear.

“Yeah,” you whispered back, hoping she couldn’t hear the slight tremor in your voice.

You could hear her smirk in her low hum, pressing a kiss to your hair, her arms tightening around your waist.

As the movie played on, you found yourself hyper-aware of every little movement she made—the way her chest rose and fell against your back, the way her hand occasionally squeezed your hip when something funny happened on screen, the way her laugh vibrated in you every time she giggled, whispering little cheeky add-ons into your ear. By the time the credits rolled, your head was spinning, and you weren’t sure how much longer you could keep pretending you were unaffected by her touch.

When the night finally wound down and your friends started trickling out the door, Billie lingered behind, helping you clean up. She didn’t say much at first, just quietly gathering empty cups and plates while you tried to steady your nerves.

“Thank you or staying to help Bills. You really don’t have to,” you said, breaking the silence.

She shrugged, flashing you a lopsided grin. “It’s no problem. Aything for you, angel.”

There it was again—that playful, flirtatious tone that always seemed to leave you breathless. You turned and busied yourself with stacking plates and setting dishes in the sink, hoping she wouldn’t notice the way your hands were shaking.

As she finished tying up the last garbage bag and set it down, she looked over at you with a curious look in her eyes.

“You’ve been quiet tonight. You’re usually so bubbly and giggly,” she said, stepping closer, leaning on the opposite side of the kitchen counter “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you said a little too quickly, avoiding her gaze.

She tilted her head, her eyes narrowing slightly. “You sure? You’re not mad at me or something, are you?”

“What? Oh my gosh no, of course I’m not mad at you,” you said, finally meeting her eyes.

Her expression softened and she let out a sigh of relief while she walked around to be closer to you. “Thank God. I’d hate to think I did something to upset you, baby,” she said, while reaching up to cup your flushed cheeks.

You swallowed hard, your heart racing as her fingers lingered against your cheek. “You didn’t.”

She smiled, her thumb grazing your cheekbone. “You’re so cute when you blush, you know that?”

“Please, I am not blushing,” you scoffed playfully.

“Oh you so are,” she said, her grin widening. “And I think you know it, cutie,” she whispered directly into your ear.

You opened your mouth to protest, but the words caught in your throat as she leaned back a bit, her blue eyes locked on yours. For a moment, you thought she was going to kiss you, but instead, she pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, her lips lingering just long enough to leave you breathless.

“Goodnight, peach,” she murmured, her voice low and warm.

And with that, she turned and walked out the door, but not without turning around again to send a wink your way before closing the door, leaving you standing there, your cheeks burning and your heart pounding as you wondered if she knew exactly what she was doing to you.

And as Billie walked down the hallway further away from your apartment, her smirk only grew.

She totally knew what she was doing.

🍑✨☁️🧡

[lonelyl00n]

*writes two paragraphs after months of literally nothing and it took three hours*

[lonelyl00n]

Wedding Day

I'm bored as hell and it's snowing outside how I tried something new, hope you like it! angst! religious trauma!

It’s the day of your marriage and your fiancé’s still coy. Your parents say that he’s handsome and affluent, but all you see is a boy.

He’s says that you’re an angel, that God delivered to his door That he can give you world and provide you with so much more.

But is more what you want? Are you really okay?When the one that you love has been sent away.

They found out in autumn, scheduled your wedding in June. Not to the one you love, but to somebody new.

Now you’re here on your knees, asking the Lord what’s his deal? You loved her, you craved her, why break a love that was real?

Then hidden in the corner, beside your collection of gifts You spot a letter with pretty cursive that makes your head instantly drift:

“Dear Love,

I’m sorry things ended the way they did.

 I should have been more careful then.

 Just know that our love is not a sin.

Don’t live your life in a life, don’t let this begin.

I’ll be waiting by the willow tree, when the sky turns to dusk.

I’ll wait for you I promise, as long as I must.

We can run away and start a new beginning for us.”

As you walk down the aisle, holding the arm of your teary-eyed father, you start to think to think to yourself “Staying or leaving, which one would be harder.”

[lonelyl00n]

Eyes

A/n: just thought of this small idea, I'm obsessed with it 😩

Warnings - suggestiveness ? No actual smut but still smithyish Heavy eye contact :p || masterlist

"I just can't believe it comes out in a few days." You smile wide, moving on the couch as you say those words. Billie, watching you blab about a new season of some show you obsess over. She was always a great listener, forever maintaining eye contact. But sometimes when you'd catch her looking, you'd get extreme butterflies. That's so silly, shes your best friend! But the way she holds it even when you do look at her, never fails to make you internally scream. Today wasn't too much different. Except one thing. Right when you look at her she bites her lip. You stop in your tracks finding words impossible as they slip away from you. "Keep talking." She then says.

This eye contact was driving you nuts and you had to look away. "Uhm, I just. Can't wait to see my favorite character again, I love her." Your eyes move to hers, seeing that they're still on you. "Oh yeah?" She knows exactly what game she's playing, considering you've stopped your blab session. "Who else is your favorite." Not once did her eyes move, the droopy position made your thighs clench, and suddenly you didn't even hear the question. "Huh?" You say realizing she had said something. "I asked you." She moves a little closer. "Who else is your favorite character." You breathe through your nose, having it whistle slightly. "Her, sister she-" You stop for a moment.

Her hand casually rests on your upper thigh. What was happening. "She. Uhm. She's one of the-" You physically couldn't. "Billie.." You whisper. She hums, keeping her eyes glued on you. Your head was down finding it nearly impossible to look at her right now. "Whyd you stop?" She asked. You sigh out, looking at her fairy covered hand. Focusing on her rings. "For someone who was very talkative you've gone awfully quiet." You now bite your lip. Knowing within seconds you'd probably moan pathetically. That same damn hand makes its way up further, your breath catching at the back of your throat. "B-bil-" You somehow get out.

She nods, slowly as you say that. This was impossible to not do anything about. So you give her pleading eyes, but. She does something you didn't expect. "When does it come out again?" Her hand retracts leaving you bewildered. This motherfucker.

Tags - @trulyy-yourzz @eilishslut @chrissv4mp @n0vabug @dollyvuu @dollarbils @sweetcherriexs

[lonelyl00n]

Don't ask me about her again.

> Billie gets arrested for DUI and is getting teared apart by media and fans for her behavior recently…

2:30AM, Saturday night and you just woke up from your phone vibrating every five seconds. You must have forgot to turn ‘do not disturb’ on like you usually do before going to bed. The Coachella weekend has started yesterday, and last minute you ditched your friends saying you have a migraine and can not come anymore because they were talking about how Billie was also rumored to show up with her friends. You two broke up 3 months ago after being together for two years.

And why? Because Billie would rather flirt with instagram models. And she probably thought breaking up with you before doing all that would be the best solution, so she wasn’t cheating on you. Fair. But ending the relationship because after the success of her album Hit me hard and soft and the attention that came with it, from girls, ripped your heart in pieces. You tried to find excuses for her behavior, saying maybe because she was robbed of her teenage years and people give her attention now and suddenly simp over her, she can’t keep her “dick” to herself? No matter with how many excuses you came up with, it was you ending up crying alone at home, thinking about all these memories you once had and how she dared to just break you apart for some fun. Every other week you would find trending articles online about who she was seen with, and it made you want to disappear. It felt like no one cared about your feelings, especially not the person you once would trust with your life.

All your fans constantly tagging you and commenting under your pictures how sad they are for you or letting you know what they found out about Billie’s model girls didn’t help you either. It was 50% of people having sympathy for you and 50% of girls, who either didn’t like you or were jealous that Billie always referred to you as the love of her life, leaving horrible comments under your pictures. Before all this drama you maybe got 5 thousand comments, now it goes up to 25 thousand. You were thinking about turning them off at one point but the last thing you wanna do is look bothered.

Back to your phone, you open it and it’s a TikTok link from your friend Sarah. You click on it, half asleep, hair a mess, and the thing you saw broke your heart. Billie and Odessa at Coachella dancing around and kissing. You knew they were friends, you were once starring in a movie with Odessas sister Gideon. But watching them do all that in public, after Odessa was laughing in your face, hurt you. You immediately closed your phone again, ignoring all the other messaged and calls and tried falling asleep.

8AM and you abruptly wake up because someone is storming into your room calling for your name multiple times. It was your friend Sarah, who has your keys and knows your security.

“Y/N!”, she yells running towards your bed, shaking your arm for you to wake up. But her voice didn’t sound angry, she was, hysterical? You are so confused. You groan and turn to the other side, thinking she just wants to convince you to get ready and go to Coachella tonight with her.

“Wake up. Didn’t you check your phone we tried to reach you all night!”, she says trying to get your attention again. She grabs your phone from your nightstand and notices that it has died, no battery. She plugs it to your charger and turns back to you. “Y/N, please wake up. Listen to me, Billie has been arrested it is all over the news and Finneas has called me because they couldn’t reach you. They wanted to make sure you are alright. Wake up please.” Sarah almost whispers at the end.

You immediately shoot up, your eyes almost falling out of your head. You look at Sarah, trying to comprehend what she just said to you. “What did you just say”, you ask her sounding scared and overwhelmed, not wanting to hear it again what she just told you.

“Billie got arrested after Coachella last night y/n. Her mugshot is literally all over the internet. We sent it to you. But I don’t know if you want to see it, she looks really sad. She kept a smile in the picture but her eyes were tearing up..”, Sarah explains to you, holding your hand knowing that you are going to worry because if there is any person in this world who knows Billie the best, it was you after all. “Can I see it?”, you ask her softly.

She grabs her phone out of her purse, unlocking it and going to the chat with you where she sent you all the pictures and links she got last night. “Here love, if you want let’s just call someone so they can explain before we read any shit from TMZ”, she suggest, knowing how you hate TMZ and all the lies or problematic things they usually say. But you ignore her.

You open the pictures and there it is. Billie in a orange - redish kind of uniform, guessing they put it on her instead of her own clothes, her black long hair looking a little messy, her smile looking forced and her big blue ocean eyes, her eyes.. they were covered in tears and you could see that she was in pain. It wasn’t because she was embarrassed or sad or even angry for getting arrested, no. You knew these eyes better than anyone else. She was broken.

Your own eyes started to fill up with your salty tears, you were fighting your best to not let any drop come out of your eyes. You didn’t want to cry for her anymore. She broke you apart and it was her fault getting arrested. And just like Sarah could read your thoughts she says: “She got arrested for DUI. Apparently she was drunk or high and was driving back home after Coachella with Odessa and some friends, but the police stopped her because she was speeding. The police station leaked camera footage of when she got there and it looked really weird, it felt like, well to me, that they were treating her so mean? Maybe that’s how it works but I don’t know. I think we should call someone y/n”.

“No.” Is all you say. “No? What do you mean?”, Sarah says confused, trying to figure out what you were replying to with the no. The reason she got arrested? How they treated her? Or if you should call someone? “Why would I call someone? I don’t care she got arrested, it is not my problem and responsibility. I’m not her girlfriend what am I gonna do? Call her family and say Hi I saw Billie got arrested is everything okay? It clearly isn’t. She should know better not to drive high. Also her friends are absolutely shit. And Fuck Odessa.” You spit out, a little shocked on your own behavior right now. You don’t even dare to look at Sarah because if you knew Billie that well, it was Sarah knowing you even better, you have been friends for 6 years.

“I- Okay.” is all Sarah got out. She got up and turned to look at you. “I’m gonna make us some coffee and we will figure it out after okay. Maybe take a shower or do whatever. Let’s keep it slow, I’ll be here all day. And honestly, yeah fuck her” she referred to Odessa, leaving your room with a giggle.

As soon as you heard the door close, you let yourself fall down into your mattress. Eyes filled with tears but somehow you couldn’t cry. You look at the ceiling, and reach out with your arm to your nightstand, trying to grab your phone. 38 missed calls and 99+ messages. You unlock your phone and one name catches your attention. It was a text from her mother, Maggie.

Mom’ggie <3 : Hey sweetheart, Finneas told me he tried to contact you. If you see this in the morning, give me a call. I love you very much. - Mama Maggie.

You loved Maggie so much, she was always a second mother to you, making you feel at home and welcomed ever since you started dating Billie. You could always trust her with anything heavy on your heart and she would contact you every now and then even after the breakup checking up on you and reminding you that she loves you. You don’t even think twice after reading that message and call her contact. After what felt like an eternity, she picks up.

“Hey y/n, sweetheart. How are you my love.” Maggie says on the other side of the phone, sounding sweet as always but very exhausted. “Maggie, I’m okay, I just saw what’s going on, how are you tho? That’s more important right now”, you tell her, feeling bad for her. The media wasn’t the nicest to Billie the past few weeks, they would always tear her apart for anything, not giving her any privacy and trying to pin her as a bad person. Like they do with every young adult in this industry at some point, they try to pin them as crazy and rude trying to turn people on them. You know it hurt Maggie the most.

“We are inside the police station, but we are not allowed to see her yet y/n. I haven’t seen my baby and they refuse to let me speak to her. They are going to interview her and it will be published on TV. All the paparazzis are already outside, waiting with their cameras and microphones. I couldn’t even talk to her yet and they want her to speak to a lawyer. I’m scared she is going to say something wrong” Maggie lets out, trying not to break down and cry.

It was a lot to her, she was overwhelmed, confused, angry at Billie for driving under influence and angry at the media and people for treating her like that. “It’s going to be okay Maggie, I’m sure she is with her lawyer right now right? Do not worry too much. Maybe she isn’t even going to say anything at all, she isn’t required to. I promise you she will be out by tonight. Do you need me to come there right now? Or do you want me to send someone with food or anything else to you?” You offer her, trying to calm her down and tell her that everything is going to be just fine. 

“My love thank you. We have everything here right now don’t worry. The interview starts in an hour and then hopefully afterwards we will be able to see our Billie.” Maggie replies, sounding a little more hopeful right now. You think a second before talking again. “Maggie where are the people she was in the car with?” you wonder. “I have no idea y/n. I’m guessing they didn’t get arrested because they were not driving, but none of them is here. They all left immediately.” She sighs, realizing that they did Billie dirty too.

After talking for a little more and saying your goodbyes, Sarah comes back into your room, with two coffees and breakfast. You eat breakfast with her, telling her what Maggie has just told you, watching the news and waiting to see Billie. And then there it was. Of course, it was TMZ livestreaming, like it’s a fucking joke. Billie was sitting in a room with two other men, I’m assuming one is her lawyer, the man next to her you can barely see, and the man in front of her behind the camera is the dick of a lawyer who wants to keep her ass in jail for a bit.

Your eyes attached to her. For someone who got arrested all night she looks good. Her big oversized jacket over her oversized flannel, her fake glasses and a beanie. A typical Billie outfit but it looks so good on her. You missed seeing her. But the thing you were most surprised about was her cocky smile. She looked amused, like it was funny to her. But was it really? It started to irritate you, the contrast from her mugshot to her right now on live television. The lawyer then starts asking her questions, and you immediately catch his tone and what kind of weird and rude questions he is asking. What do they even have to do with anything? It made your blood boil.

Lawyer: So Miss O’Connell, you have been driving under the influence of marijuana and alcohol, who were the people with you in the car? Billie: I don’t remember, I don’t remember anything from last night. She tells him, with a big grin on her face and her finger playing with her grillz. God, she looks hot. She obviously remembers, not wanting to snitch. Lawyer: Why didn’t you let your friends drive instead? Do you always make stupid decisions? Billie: I don’t remember.

You and Sarah look at each other, weirded out by how this lawyer is talking to Billie. Was he even a lawyer or was he just from TMZ. These rude questions are ridiculous. Billie’s Lawyer tries to defend her a few times, calling his questions unnecessary but he gets shut down quickly. 

Lawyer: Miss O’Connell, you have been caught drinking and consuming drugs a lot the past months, did you consider rehab? Billie: I don’t recall. Lawyer: Here is a film of you and your bodyguard walking out of a club one week ago at 4AM and you can see your bodyguard beating down another man. He points at the TV screen, making her look at the video footage. But she turns back around to look at him and you can see her eyebrows tense. Billie: Is this a film? You told me to look at the film. Is this a film? Lawyer: Yes this is a film of you and your bodyguard. Would you please answer me my question Miss O’Connell.

Billie: It’s a video. You are telling me it’s a film but it is not. Lawyer: Miss O’Connell how do you feel about your bodyguard beating down another man. Do you discipline him sometimes? Billie: Discipline? She laughs. Is he, is he my son? She looks at the camera, making you feel like its direct eye contact, and smirks. Oh you already know that the world is going to tear her apart for this. Getting arrested for DUI and giving cocky answers back. Even if the questions were out of place, you just knew that the outcome wasn’t good for her. 

Lawyer: Miss O’Connell, do you think your problematic behavior is because of your break up with Y/N Y/L/N? And suddenly Billie’s whole face and mood changes. Looking away from the camera, facing that man, she squints her eyes, looking pissed. Billie: Don’t ask me about her again. Billie’s Lawyer steps in again, telling him to stop asking irrelevant questions and that it seems like he wants to harass Billie. But he gets told to be quiet again. Lawyer: Miss O’Connell, have you ever talked with Y/N Y/L/N and discussed your feelings about paparazzi’s with her.

Billie looks away from him, shaking her head and looking down, bringing her hand to cover her eyes. She lets out a loud sigh and the interview is quiet for a few seconds. Until she looks up at him again, looking furious. Billie: Don’t ask me about her again. Don’t ask me. Don’t ask me about her again. After the Lawyer trying to bring your name into it and getting interrupted by Billie every single time to keep you out of it, standing up from her chair and pointing with her finger at him telling him to stop asking about you, her lawyer asks for a break and leaves the room with her. And the stream gets paused for 40 minutes. 

You just sit in silence, trying to swallow what just happened in front of your eyes, ignoring the fact that the whole world was also watching. Your thoughts are mixed with so many things. When you were thinking about one thing that has just happened, another thought interrupts the current one. Making you feel overwhelmed with emotions. Sarah just watches you, not knowing how to react because everything seems too much for you now. She slowly grabs your phone and turns the wifi off and outs your phone on silent, knowing everyone is going to be annoying and not consider your feelings or peace and spam the shit out of you. And then you stand up, grabbing your car keys and your bag. You turn to Sarah to grab your phone, leave a kiss on her head and just leave the room.

None of you saying a word. You aren’t even thinking right now, you have tunnel vision and go straight to your car, driving to the police station in Hollywood, parking your car and ignoring the 100 men outside with their cameras screaming for your name and attention. You don’t care about anyone right now, all you want to do is look your ex girlfriend in the eyes and tell her that everything is going to be okay. Someone escorts you inside and you see her family sitting and waiting in front of a TV. Maggie and Finneas stand up, running towards you and Maggie embraces you in a tight hug. None of you say a word. They bring you to their little place in the corner and you sit down with them. And then Maggie breaks the silence.

“Y/n, are you alright, you have been way too silent sweetheart” Maggie puts her hand on your shoulder and looks down to you. You just stare at the floor and nod. Not even knowing the answer to her question. After minutes of silence you speak up, silently, still looking at the floor. “I don’t even know why I’m here, she broke up with me. She doesn’t even want to see me when she steps out of this place. But I don’t know what has gotten in me, my legs just brought me here.” you tell Maggie, but everyone sitting there heard you. Maggie gives you a warm look, putting her arm over your back and slowly scratching it, she leans down to your head and whispers in your ear.

“I think you are the first person she wants to see y/n. I know she broke up with you and was very rude about this whole situation, but I am her mother, I know that she was hurting every single day. It was days ago I heard her crying in her room, and it was just yesterday, she was on the phone with someone asking if she can see you at that festival she went to. I don’t exactly know what has been going on inside of her head these last couple of months, but I know she misses you and regrets every second of it. You should stay here with us, you are family”.

You don’t say anything back, your face was covered in tears and you saw some drop on the floor you were looking at. You say a silent ‘excuse me’ and get up from your spot to leave to the restroom, feeling the eyes from the police officers on you, recognizing who you are. You close and lock the door behind you and go to over to the sink, putting your hands on both sides to keep your body up, you were exhausted from feeling so many emotions at once. You look up at the mirror and just start crying. It felt good to cry, letting it all out. 

You don’t even know if you are so sad over the break up or over the fact that you see her hurting and trying to cover it up with hook ups, drugs, alcohol and just her behavior, and when you think about these things, you are sad again that she’s doing all that instead of being with you. You were a mess. But you just wanted to see her, you missed her so much, watching the world hate on her.

After fixing yourself in the restroom, you unlock the door and step out, closing the door behind you. As you turn around and look down the hallway to the spot where everyone was sitting, you see her. She was in a tight hug with her mother and Fin. You don’t move, hand still on the doorknob from when you closed the door, you just watched them, wanting to give them their moment and privacy as a family. You didn’t even know if you should just turn around and get out of the door, anxiety suddenly spreading across your body, not being sure if Billie really would want to see you or not. 

After a few minutes of them hugging and talking to Billie, you see Maggie pull on Billie’s arm, pointing with her finger and you and then she turns around, trying to find your eyes from the other side of the hallway. When your eyes meet, you can see her whole face soften and she smiles. And suddenly you see Billie slowly run towards you. Your brain can’t even comprehend the situation but once again, you feel your legs start moving and you run towards her too, and just like in the movies, you both run into each others arms. She’s holding you tight, burying her face in your neck, her arms around your waist keeping you as close as possible. Your arms are around her neck, face buried in her chest. You just close your eyes and take the moment in.

“Hey angel. I’m sorry you had to see all that. I hope you’re okay.” Billie whispers into your neck, not even thinking about letting you go. “Billie.” Is all you get out, still hiding in her chest. “Mhm? I’m sorry. Look at me.” She slowly breaks the hug and holds your face with one hand, wiping your tear on the right side of your face with her thumb.

You look into her eyes, your hands grabbing into her jacket, trying to hold into her somehow, scared of letting her go. “Billie why would you get yourself into all that, you’re an idiot.” You rant, giving her a mean look, trying to hide all the love you got for her. Billie just looks at you, caressing your face and sighing. “You know, you have every reason to be mad at me, that’s okay I can live with that right now, as long as you come home with us and we talk.” You look up surprised, home?

“You’re allowed to leave?” You ask Billie, voice high revealing your excitement. She laughs and explains; “Yeah apparently my ass was only worth $8.000 to get bailed out and my driver license is gone for six month but I don’t care to be honest. Fuck everything and everyone.” “Billie I know I have no right to tell you anything but you have to change your lifestyle, at least be more careful, please.” You tell Billie, looking straight into her eyes with a serious look on your face, removing her hair that was falling into her eye. 

You catch her stare at your lips and you almost gave in, but then you hear her family approach, while her Dad was signing some papers with an officer. Billie hugs her Mom again, clearly relived that she is about to leave and go home and after she break the hug, she stands next to you again, holding your hand and looking down at you. “You’re coming yeah? Let us all eat something and then we talk. I also don’t want you driving alone knowing there are a million of weird paparazzi men outside.” She tells you, grabbing your hand a little stronger when she mentioned the paparazzi.

You just nod and smile softly at Billie, just wanting her to be finally safe.

<3 note: I wrote this in the middle of the night, not proof read so I hope it's not confusing to anyone. This was lowkey also cooler in my head, I don't even know the point of this. Ugh I'm never happy with my work lmao. I was thinking of putting a part 2 out for this if anyone is interested, please let me know in the comments or write me anonymously. You can also feel free to say if you liked the story in general and any requests! It would mean the world to me if I can see that anyone actually likes it. love you all sm hope you have fun with this. Justin Bieber getting arrested in 2014 was my inspo if yall didn't notice lmao. SEE YOU <3.

[lonelyl00n]

Are We Still Friends

Billie Eilish x female reader !

A/n: thought I'd do some angst again cuz im in the mood for it turday - I don't know if there's a happy ending tho... SORRY !

Summary: she didn't mean to hurt you, never wanted to. But she ended up doing so. Badly and unfixable.

Warnings: ANGST ! No happy ending, idk if there's anything else ?? Get tissues babes

Masterlist

She wasn't herself recently and it worried you, knowing her past. But it wasn't exactly like that. You began to think that at first when she started isolating from you. But then you saw how cold she had gotten. You started to wonder if it was you, who had upset her. But you've never done anything except love her. She had been out all day, like she has been alot recently. You understood because she has to work ofcourse, but it was always later in the evening when she got home.

You two were seated for some dinner, things being silent like usual. You watch her mess around with the food, not making eye contact with you. "So, how was your day?" She shrugs. "It was alright." She replies. Her tone dry as anything. Your heart picks up in speed, not liking this side of her. It was not only worrying but frightening you. What had you done, what had anyone done to upset her this much?

Whenever you'd ask if she was ok, you'd just get a hum in reply. But it was far from reassuring your concern for her currently. So you ask her properly tonight, usually leaving it be whenever she'd hum. "Baby are you sure you're ok, you've just been so off recently." Her eyes look up at you slightly for a second, then immediately back at her food. "I'm fine." You're surprised by the full answer. "Are you s-" "I said. I'm fine." Your heart sinks at the way she talked to you, was she angry?

"Oh, ok." You slowly grab your plate, going to put it in the sink without another word. That is, until she speaks up. "I'm sorry." She sighs. But you just think it's best to leave her right now, heading up to your bedroom. "Baby." She says timidly, still holding a slight anger in her voice. You knew something was clearly going on, and all you wanted was for her to talk to you. Or atleast figure out what was happening. Is She tired? Did you say or do something? Or maybe you hadn't said or did something.

It was eating at you, stressing you out. All you wanted was for your true love to be ok. It's all you've ever wanted. You couldn't work properly, it invading your mind like a bad smell. All you wanted was to get home and sleep, especially with her. But that also died down along with her happy vibe. No cuddles at all, you felt unlovable. Her mood was killing your own, and causing all your friends to notice. But that was the thing. She seemed to be semi ok with them, still having a tense tone.

But actually making an effort to talk. Maybe it was you, maybe you weren't as interesting anymore. Maybe she'd grown from you, was she getting over you? Night time rolls around after a long, long day. You get into bed, her not long after. Immediately going to get some sleep. "Night baby." You said, softly. "Night." Again, dry. Desert dry. You sigh, turning over on your side. Facing her but closing your eyes. You hadn't noticed, but she was looking at you. The guiltiest look on her face.

A few weeks past and nothings changed. She's still in the same exact mood. It made you wonder if it will always be like this. You were at work currently, going to scroll on your phone while on your break. You lean back in your chair observing. When you see a particular photo. One that made your heart sink. You look at it carefully. But you didn't want to, you wanted to puke. It was Billie, she was kissing another girl. You were trying to rack your brain on when and where this happened.

The caption said "Billie with - some girl." Your brows furrow. Her fans knew about you, you didn't know exactly how well but when you opened the comments it was clear.

'That doesn't look like Y/n'

'Did Billie cheat'

'That isn't her girlfriend'

'Who is she kissing'

You had the exact same thoughts, except there was more of them. Flooding your mind. "Who is she." "Whyd she do this." How could she, you really didn't want to believe it. She would never. Your heart sinks further realizing that it was you. But at the same time it wasn't. She cheated on you. You were still in pure shock, deciding to go home early.

You doubted she had even seen the photo, she hardly ever went on her phone these days. But then that got you thinking, the only time she did was at night. But she'd only go onto text messages, you know. Because her phone would constantly ding. You figured it would be Finn, or a family member. Or even another friend. But now you were starting to think otherwise. You plop down on your bed when you finally get home. Staring at the ceiling.

You thought it over long and hard, and you were picking between confronting her and getting it over with or letting her come clean. But it's been so long you worry she wouldn't. Did she care? But you couldn't bear it, the thought of loosing her. And if you confront her that would be the result. You just hoped deep down she'd come clean and you could try working this out. Right?

The door opens hours later, you see her placing her phone down on the nightstand. "Hey, what're you doing back early?" She asks. "Didn't feel too great at work today." You reply, turning over. "Oh, sorry." You knew she said that to be somewhat sympathetic, but in a way it's as if she was apologizing for more. You shrug slightly, just wanting to take another nap. "Me and Finn finally got done with something we had been struggling on for months." She says a tad bit happier than she had been.

You nod. "That's good, Bills." Now it was your turn to be dry, she wanted to leave you be. Noticing your mood. Going down to the living room. You look over at her phone that she had left, considering looking at it. Was that wrong.. you don't even know if you can trust her after the photo, you were almost certain you'd find what you really hoped not to find on there. When it dings. You just had to, reaching over to grab it.

She hadn't changed her password. Did she think shed get away with it or something? Did she want to just pretend it never happened? All these new questions in your head overflowing. You go to the message and it was from a girl, that girl who was feeling her up at a party way back. You knew Billie didn't like her and found her to be very annoying. What changed? Billie was always a kind person to everyone, never mean to anyone's face. Especially considering this girl was friends with some mutual friends.

But not that friendly. You felt your eyes water, thinking of what to do. You read more of the messages. Reading one of Billies saying to leave her alone in the end. Did she regret it? Why hadn't she told you if so. You bite your bottom lip, feeling the tears pour. 2 years wasted. Down the drain. That was all you could think now. How much of a waste this whole thing was. Slight anger rises in you. Not much because you never got angry, but this. This was the thing to be mad about.

You walk downstairs, little scared for what's about to come. She was sitting on the sofa, when you let her phone fall into her lap. Her head looks up at you, confused as anything. Her eyes move to her phone seeing what was on it. Her head instantly looks at you again, noticing the tears. "Baby-" "Don't. Baby me. You don't have any right to call me that. When you've hardly been doing such for a few months. Why start now." She was stunned to say the least. Even though she shouldn't be, she knew you'd find out eventually. But she honestly hoped it'd fade away and that you wouldn't have to.

"Please let me-" "Explain?" You finish. "Theres nothing to explain. You've been talking to this girl for God knows how long. Kissed her!" She didn't realize you knew that. "How'd.." You scoff slightly. "When your famous Billie. Cameras never leave you. I saw on one of your fans accounts." She sighs, cursing to herself. Now she really felt guilty. She had been this whole time and wanted to tell you. She just never knew how and decided to forget it all. "It was a mistake." You chuckle. "Yeah, a massive fucking one." Her hands go to grab your shoulders as she quickly gets up.

You push her back. "No Billie, don't touch me. Please." The Please breaks her, she finally felt everything. All that she had been ignoring and pushing down until she didn't feel as guilty. That was truly pointless now. "Ba- Y/n. Just let me tell you what really happened." You shake your head. "How am I suppose to trust you. You've been lying to me this whole time." She nods. "I know I know, I don't know why I didn't just tell you. I should've." - "You're a liar. You're a fucking cheat." You go to leave the room. But she goes after you.

"Let me talk, please." You turn to look at her. "What's there to say? That it was an accident. You had been drinking, she came onto you. And that you were intoxicated so you obviously couldn't stop her. Did I miss anything?" She looks at you, that was half true. "Just let me-" "No, save it. Because if it's remotely close to what I just said I don't want to hear it." You go over to the closet. "I had been drinking, and no that's no excuse. I was trying to get away from her. I promise." Your tears come back. That promise was broken to you.

"I have no excuse for what I did. And I should've told you but I didn't, because I was trying to protect you. I didn't want to hurt you especially with how work had got you. I couldn't, I decided to when things eased. Then it started weighing on me. I felt miserable because it was all I was thinking of. The fact I hurt you, the second she kissed me." You grab a suitcase as she waffles on. Her eyes filled with worry. "You have to believe me, I know you won't but please. Please." It had been forever since you heard any emotion in her voice. And now it was need, desperation. "I cant stop you." You say sadly.

She looks at you confused. "I don't like her at all." You shrug again. "I don't know what to believe at this point." You pack a few things, starting to fully sob now, feeling shakey. She comes over going to gently touch your arm. "N-no." You attempt to move her. "Stop." But she now cries ever so slightly, bringing you into a hug. You wanted none of it. But with your weak state, your pathetic hits to her chest were doing nothing. You did need comfort right now but she was the last person you wanted it from.

When you muster up some courage you push her away. Scurrying with the suitcase down the stairs. You needed to get away. You had to.

"Are we still friends?.."

You don't say another word, knowing you both knew the answer to her question. It was the end you just couldn't keep doing this anymore. You didn't want to hurt. This was the only option for now. Closing the front door...

Maybe thats the sign it just wasn't meant to be.

Can't say goodbye..

Can't say goodbye.

[lonelyl00n]

Friends

Billie Eilish x female reader !

A/n: as a bit of an apology for that other fic... LMAOO THIS DOES HAVE A HAPPY ENDING ! I've been obsessed with this song. Like if my future gf doesn't confess her love to me with it I'm gunna sue

Summary: none of you had any idea just how inlove you guys were.

Warnings: a bit angsty at the startish ? But happy ending 😁 this ended up being so so cute eeee - also listening to the song helps near the end when they're in the rain. Makes it more magical hehe

Masterlist

It was another day. Another cold, rainy day. It had been like that for a few weeks now. But you weren't complaining, you loved this kind of weather. Drinking hot drinks, wearing cute clothes, the sound of it on the roof. Even going to cute little Cafes with friends, which is what you were on the way to do now. Your best friend Claudia, Finneas and last but not least Billie. Billie, Billie. Billie. She was beautiful, always teasing you about something but you loved it. Yes you had a crush on her. But you had to stop that.

You had been friends with Finneas first for years, and your crush developed quite quickly when you met Billie for the first time. Only a matter of days and you were drooling at the sight. She'd never see you like that though. Then you introduced Claudia to them, your long time best friend. She knew about this crush and she was the only one who did. It was only natural when she insisted you say something the day Billie came out. You had known for awhile before she publicly announced it. You were a lesbian and open about that, so she came to you when she thought she might be into girls.

It only made things worse. Making you want her even more when she confirmed she wanted to be with a woman. You so desperately wanted that woman to be you. But you doubted she saw you in that way. Causing you to push those feelings aside, and bury it deep within. The looks you always gave her go unnoticed by Claud, she tried time and time again to encourage you to just say something and that..

"You never know what could happen" She says as you and her wait on the other two to order. "Claudia there's no point, it'd just ruin things." "You don't know that!" She insists, but shuts up seconds later as they come back over. Her words always sat with you, replaying over and over in your mind. But you couldn't do it, you had to let it go. Just some silly crush you developed as a kid. It'll go away.

... It's been nearly 7 years. 7 long years with a burning crush for her. A massive secret. Who were you kidding you weren't getting over it. They come back with the drinks in hand. "Matcha for you." Finn says, handing it to Claudia. "Your favorite for you." You smile as Billie says that. She always knew. She knew exactly what you liked and what you didn't, and vise versa. Which probably made you love her even more. If anything you were certain you were inlove with her. Which is why you needed to make this stop somehow.

Few months had passed since the coffee shop. You were sitting at home, scrolling through your phone when you see tiktoks of Quen, Odessa, and Billie in one. You knew she was close with them but you had no idea just how close. But that wasn't even the icing on the cake. Your phone dings with a text from her. "Hey you!" It read. You try to ignore the pit in your stomach after seeing that stupid fucking tiktok. You couldn't let it bother you this much. "Hii Bills." - "Craziest thing right, I mean not so crazy because I've kissed her before. But i love how casual it is, Quen was just saying a joke and kissed me mid way."

Your heart stings for a bit as you read those words. That poison. "Oh really?" - "Shes honestly so funny though, just wanted to text! See how you were doing and all." You bite your lip. How's awful? "I'm fine!" You were glad this was over text cuz boy were you a bad liar. So you're glad she hasn't caught on at all to your crush. Lying your way out of that one would be a mission. Or maybe it wouldn't be. "Good! I'll talk to you later, byeee." You sigh. "Bye.." You say outloud.

Some more time passes by, and very slowly. You had been focusing more on yourself. You even got a promotion in your job. But you weren't sure if you would take it, seeing as you had to move to New York for it. It had been eating at you recently on what to do. You can't bear the thought of not seeing your friends everyday. Even if they could visit but they had busy lives too. It wouldn't be the same. And you weren't sure if you could leave her. Or maybe that was the exact thing you needed.

Maybe you needed to get away so this silly little crush could go bye bye. But once you think it over some more you come to a decision. You couldn't possibly say no to this. This was huge for you after all.

Flashback.

Another rainy day, you two were chilling in Finns basement as Billie works on a few things. She stops for a moment. "Hey, I've been working on this song for a bit. It's nothing major but can you have a listen?" You nod, leaning forward excitedly. As it plays, you fall immediately inlove. Even if it was just a snippet. "Billie! That's beautiful." You beam at her, loving it so much. She blushes slightly at the words. "It's really special. I was thinking of putting the rain in the background if I can manage to. It's so noisy tonight." You nod as she says that. "I love the rain, it brings me such a comfort. The cold weather, snuggling up into blankets. The sound!" She smiles as you talk. She always listened, especially when you rambled. "I know." She says, more so to herself seeing as you hadn't heard her.

"Hey, early like always." Claudia says to you as you enter her house. You greet Finneas and the dogs aswel. "Well you know me." They were currently throwing a small get together, something common for them to do. But you loved it. You were going to break the news tonight. It was decided. Billie had only just arrived shortly after you, coming in and saying hi to everyone. You look at her, wondering if you really should go through with this. She was your best friend. It made you wonder how she's going to take the news. Out of all of them you two were the closest. Hanging out regularly, talking on the phone. So this without a doubt would be hard.

You were all sitting around at the table, talking, eating. When a friend asks Billie if she's done anything new recently music wise. "Well, funny you should ask. I've been writing this song, it's incredibly special to me. It's about this girl, and I think I really like her." You swallow as you hear that. Was it who you think it was about? Was it that same song she got you to listen to? "Ooou Billie liking someone?" Rat pipes up. "I may do." "If you're writing a song for her you must be pretty inlove." She blushes slightly. It had to be about Quen, it just had to. You look down at your food contemplating. That whole situation just made everything easier. So you begin to speak.

"I uhm, I have a small announcement." Everyone then looks at you. Your eyes land on Billies for a split second. "I- got a promotion a few weeks ago." They all start congratulating you, even Billie. But that dies down with your next words. "It uh.. Id have to move to New York though." Things fell silent, saddened faces all around. "That sucks. But we are so proud of you, are you going to take it?" You think for a moment, you look over to Billie but her eyes were on the food on her plate. "Uhm. Yeah, I am." Cheers were then to be heard. "To Y/n!" Rat then says, raising his glass. "To Y/n!" Everyone follows. Everyone but Billie...

Flashback.

Summer time. It was almost your second favorite to winter, but nothing could ever beat your love for it. You and Billie had gone out to a meadow, it was one of her favorite things. Going out to rejoice in nature. And when you had suggested it she couldn't of been more happy. It was better than sitting around in the boiling heat in the house, even with the fan on it was scorching. There was a warm breeze as you two walked through it. Enjoying the sun and grass. Billie was behind you going to grab your wrist. "This was an amazing idea. You know me so well." You smile wide as she says that. "I also know how much energy you have. I'll race you to the end." She chuckles. "Oh please you know I'd beat you-" "Go!" You abruptly say, running off as soon as your sentence finished. "Hey!" She yells running after you.

The whole paddock was huge so it took you a little bit. Along the way you both give up, but as you were about to stop your body's being tackled to the ground. "Gotcha!" She says pinning your arms down. You laugh. "No fair!" Her brow raises. "You know what's not fair? You getting a head start you little cheat." You laugh even more. "I have no clue what you're on about." It was her turn to laugh. "And a liar!" Her hands move to tickle your sides. "Billie!" "A bad one at that." Now your laughs were uncontrollable. She kept going until something sparks. You hadn't realized how close she was. Both of your eyes locking. Everything stills. Her movements. Your breathing. Maybe even time did too. You look at her lips for a second and that's when you look away. Her hand gently grabs your jaw. "You still lost." Your eyes roll going to push her off. "Har har."

She falls beside you as you both lay on your back. Taking in the sky silently. "Everything is so beautiful." You breathe. "Yeah." Billie replies. She wasn't looking at the sky.

The time was nearing. You were packing up your things a few days earlier. Honestly, you were so excited. This could be a brand new start, a refresher. After a longish day you were driving over to Finneas and Claudia's, wanting to spend as much time with them as possible. Wondering why Billie wasn't mentioned? Because she may not even be there. She hasn't been there. Ever since that night, nor had she texted you since then. Which is something she did daily. It broke your heart. But maybe that just made it even easier to leave. Maybe..

"Got most packed?" Claudia asks. You nod, seemingly distracted. "Hey, everything alright?" You look at her. "Oh yeah, just thinking about missing you guys- when. I leave." She had known you for longer than they have, even if you were a bad liar she saw right through you. "Spill." You sigh. "We haven't spoken in weeks.." Her brows furrow. "You and Billie?" You just nod, kinda wanting to avoid this whole thing right now. "Ever since I announced it she's shut me out." Claudia's features softened. "Maybe she just needed time she's your best friend it'll surely hurt-" "But as a best friend she should be here for me. Even if that is so."

Things grew silent, not the horrible kind. "I'm sorry." You shrug. "Guess even in friendship she doesn't want it." - "That's not true." You shrug again. "Even before I mentioned this whole thing she had grown distant. Its like I didn't even matter anymore. She was too busy focusing on this girl." Maybe you hadn't realized how much it upset you. You didn't want it to. But it finally got to you. Claudia notices and brings you in for a hug. She soothes you, trying to not make things seem worse. After a bit you both pull back. "You're going to call me everyday ok? And we will talk about anything and everything." She wipes your slight tears.

Feeling her own fall. You nod, planning on doing so. "Im going to miss you guys." She brings you in for a final hug. "We are going to miss you more."

Flashback.

Parties were something you aren't sure you're use to. But it was quite a frequent thing. Seeing as who you were friends with were in that scene. "I hope this isn't boring like some of them." You sigh, watching Billie come out of your bathroom. She was wearing a loose black button up shirt and some very laid back pants. Another thing you loved about her, she didn't try to be fashionable. She was just always comfortable. "Oh come onnn, it could be so fun!" Even she didn't believe that. She agreed with you, parties like these were just an excuse to drink or get high and you hated it. Everyone could enjoy themselves when they are actually themselves instead of being intoxicated. "I'll make it fun." She then says, striding over to you. Billie had always been flirty in anything she did. Whether it was her tone or actions it'd always be noticeable. Which sure as hell didn't help with the fucking crush.

And delicate touch to your body had you shivering. It felt like she did it on purpose. Maybe she was? "And how do you suppose you'd do that?" She shrugs, getting closer. "Just by being me." Your brows raises, trying so hard to not let show how much of an effect she has on you currently. "If you say so." But that whole night was something else. Sure she could be touchy, and never in a bad way. It was her love language after all. But something about the way you danced together, the way each moment felt. Sure as hell didn't feel like a just friends thing. But ofcourse you were delusional. Because the next day, things were back to the same friendliness. It hurt, all you wanted was to be hers but she didn't feel the same. And you had to accept that.

It was the last day before your move. "This is for Y/n." Finneas says on their couch. It was just him, you, Claudia. And ofcourse Billie. You doubted she even wanted to come at the way she's been acting lately. It upset and angered you. What was wrong with her? "Our best friend. And cheers to the new chapter she's starting!" He finishes. "Here here!" Claudia chimes in. Your heart just sinks as you turn to look at Billie. She was on her phone. Probably texting the mystery girl. You look at your drink, sighing internally. Finneas and Claud just look at one another. "Congrats Y/n." Finneas then concludes.

A slight sadness in his voice. You nod slowly as you 3 drink to it. The night goes on, you wanted some more blue cheese so you get up and go to the kitchen, Billie happening to be there. Things were awkward. You really didn't want them to end this way. "Can't believe it's tomorrow." You say, breaking the air. "Yeah, came by fast." There was more awkward silence. God you felt like crying why was she being like this. But that anger comes back as shes on her phone, again. The last night you have together and she's texting some bitch. "Really?" You manage to get out, after what felt like ages of bottling up whatever it was inside you.

Her eyes move to look at you. "Huh?" You grit your teeth. She sees your eyes gloss over, opening her mouth to speak. "You haven't spoken to me in weeks." You snap. She doesn't say anything, unsure of exactly what she could say. There's many things, but choosing was tricky. "Just forget it, I'm going to go home and rest. Got a big day tomorrow." You say to everyone as you grab your bag, heading out. Remembering you had taken an Uber, grabbing your phone but struggle as the pouring rain shoots down. "Wait!" You then hear behind you.

"No Billie." You really didn't want to speak to her after all she hadn't, all month. All night for fuck sakes. "Please let me talk." You ignore her trying hard to call this damn Uber, but the rain wasn't helping in the slightest. She grabs your phone making you look at her. "Hey!" You say, feeling tears flow. It was hard to tell mixed with the rain. But she notices. She notices everything. "I'm s-" You push her away. "N-no." You shiver. "You hurt me." She stands there dumbfounded. That's not at all what she wanted. Far from it. She's reized how much she's hurt you.

"Please, I really am sorry I shouldn't have iced you out. I was just shocked and a little hurt you hadn't mentioned this to me." You fold your arms not looking at her. "I hadn't told anyone." She scratches her head. "Yeah but, out of anyone I thought youd atleast tell me." You turn to her. "Why? Why do you think that? You haven't been the best friend to me recently. Hell i don't even know what to think anymore." She shakes her head. "Don't say that, please I'm sorry." You stay quiet for a moment. "Just give me my phone."

She was hesitant but with a sigh she does. You soon get fed up, going to walk. "It's freezing, you can't just walk home." - "Why do you care all of a sudden Billie. It's not like you've been so caring lately?!" Another bit of silence. You just shake your head. "Well?" She thinks for a moment. "This morning. I woke up from a dream. Where you and I had to say goodbye." You had no clue where this was going but you were growing inpatient. Wanting a proper answer. "And I don't know what it all means... But since then I realized. Wherever you go that's where I'll follow."

You roll your eyes a bit, not even sure you're getting where this is going, patience growing thinner. "Im tired Billie, goodnight and goodbye." You say walking off again. She started to panic. Frantically thinking. "Y/n!" When you wouldn't stop she sighs. "I love you!" Your feet come to halt at the words. "Or rather, inlove with you." Your eyes widen. Was this a dream too? Were you dreaming? You slowly turn around to look at her. "W-what?" You look at eachother, feeling as if time had stopped again. "If the world was ending I'd wanna be next to you."

You feel tears again. This is all you've been longing from her. "Are you serious?" You question. "Serious as anything." You smile, more tears coming down your cheeks. You run over to her, she instinctively picks you up. And finally something else you had been longing for, happened just like that. You felt eachothers lips. Molding together perfectly. It lasted for what felt like eternity. Neither of you wanted to pull away, you knew you needed to though. The rain pours more over you. Making both of your hair sticks to your faces. She moves yours out the way.

"I'm hoping you feel the same?" You laugh. "Yes you idiot. For over 7 years." She smiles wide, so happy that this could finally happen. "Wait- what about the girl- the mystery one?" She chuckles. "We really were blind huh?" Your brows furrow in confusion. "The song was about you. But I never said anything because I was worried I'd ruin things." Your head shakes. "Oh thank God, I honestly thought it was Quen." You breathe out relieved. "Oh goodness no, she's just a friend. Even if I had kissed her it was more of an experience." You nod, understanding everything more now.

"So the song was about me?" You beam. She reflects the same actions. "I thought the lyrics would've been obvious to be honest. Especially with the rain part." - "Guess it just flew past my head." You lock eyes once again. "Well since I know how much rain means to you. What if I asked you a very special question while we're out here in it." Your head tilts. Her hands grabbing your own. "Will you be my girlfriend?" You smile. "I thought you'd never ask." You seal the deal with a kiss. You fell first. But she fell harder.

"No seriously I thought you'd never ask." You both laugh, heading over to her car so you can get home.

[lonelyl00n]

Shut out

One shot

long ish?

Billie x gn!reader

Angst to comfort

Billies been grumpy for a week, you break down infront of her for the first time.

Billie is on a break from tour, and to say it had been going horribly was an understatement. She came home a week and a half ago in a funk, she’s due to leave again In a few days. You were starting to feel down, the full time she’d been home she’d barely spent any time with you. She’d go to bed late at night once you were already asleep, you tried to plan dates you could do at home, movie nights, ordering take out, home made dinner dates- but she was always busy, or too tired.

It started wearing you down, in the past couple of the day’s arguments started out of nowhere, you asked if you could tag along when she mentioned how she had plans with Finneas to out for lunch and she ranted about how it was her first tour without him and she hadn’t seen him in months, but you hadn’t seen her in months. She barely spoke to you. It didn’t help when you saw a few days later Claudia’s Instagram had a photo of them at lunch together. The full time she’d been home you had no affection, not even as much as a forehead kiss before she went to sleep. It was making you exhausted mentally, you didn’t want to get out of bed, yet you felt selfish for feeling so upset about her being upset over your going wrong.

Currently you sat on the couch, your favourite movie on the tv, Billie would watch it all the time and make fun of how into it you got, though right now she’s busy at one of her friends house, having a party or hanging out with people she hadn’t seen in a while- you couldn’t keep track of what she said. Your blinking had started slowing down, so you decided to get up from the couch, make your way into the kitchen and make yourself a nice hot cup of coffee to keep yourself awake, a smile creeped its way into your face as the smell filled the kitchen, one of your favourites. The coffee was done in less than a minute, you sighed and picked the cup up, taking a sip of it, looking at the clock it read, eleven fifty two pm, it was late, you’d usually be in bed by now, but being the stubborn person you are, you had decided to wait up for Billie and talk to her about how you’d been feeling, how it wasn’t fair to be shut out all the time, especially when all you want is to spend some time with her before she leaves for another couple of months for tour.

Another hour passed by, your eyes are barely open, the exhaustion starting to get the better of you. Any hints of tiredness leave your body as soon you hear the click of the door lock and keys being hung up, you stand up and walk over to meet Billie by the door way to the living room, she looks at you confused, as if wondering why you were up. You take in breathe before looking at her “can.. can we talk.. please?” It comes out barely above a whisper, Billie rolls her eyes and flicks her shoes off before nodding, she walks past you into the living room and sits on the couch, you sit next to her, already feeling your emotions getting the better of you, and you’ve never friend infront of her before, or around her, not even while she was in the house.

Billie looks over to you and rubs her face, she looks at you as if she’s annoyed by your presence, she’s tired, you tell by the way she’s slumped over, resting her face in the hands. “Well.. what is it y/n?” She sounds uninterested, as if you’d just spent hours talking to her about cardboard.

You open your mouth to speak, all that comes out is her name, it’s barely above a whisper, but she hears it, she hears the way your voice breaks and you cut yourself. She straightens herself up, she wasn’t expecting that, not from you. “I-..” you try again and blink back tears that pool in the corner of your eyes. “Please stop shutting me out-“ is all you manage to get out, it’s nothing compared to the long rant you had planned to lay on her. That didn’t matter anymore, all you could focus on was the fact you were crying, no sobbing. Infront of Billie, she blinks a few times, she’d never seen you anything other than a tiny bit upset. She’d never seen you cry before, let alone breakdown, and for her to be the cause of it made her stutter over her words to try and comfort you as she rushed to pull you into her, letting you sobbing to her chest as she carded one hand through your hair and the other held onto your back, her thumb rubbing soft circles.

“My love..” she starts, it’s a whisper, you barely catch it over the sound of your own sobs, you felt stupid, so unbelievably stupid for the way you’re feeling. “I’m so sorry” she mumbles into the top of your head as she kisses it. “I haven’t been considering your feelings, I’m sorry” it was as if she was reading your mind as she spoke “I’ve been so shitty to you baby, I’ll be better.” Billie starts gently rocking you side to side, her hand still playing with your hair, and the other now just holding onto you, pulling you firm against her.

Nothing else is said for a while, your sobs have slowly become sniffles, Billie quite frankly didn’t know what to do, it was the first time she’d had to comfort you that way, all she could was hum to you and hold you tightly, and it worked, it comforted you, relaxed you, more so because Billie had given you attention again, had shown you love after so long if not being in her arms properly.

You pulled away to look up at her, your eyes puffy and cheeks red, she smiled and kept hold of your arms, she leaned forward and kissed both your cheeks, one hand moved to cup one of your hands, wiping away the tears that still dripped down, she sighs and gives you a soft smile. “I promise, the next couple of days will be me and you love.” You give her a small smile I response. “I love you so much” she mumbles as she rests her forehead against yours closing her eyes.

“I love you.”

[lonelyl00n]

S H E - Billie Eilish x fem!reader

𖦹 ☼ ⋆｡˚⋆ฺ ♡

A/n: this is loosely based on the scene from the office with Pam and her mom, talking about Jim.

No warnings.

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"Mom!" You squealed eagerly as you ran up to your mother, pulling her into a tight embrace.

Your mother's head tipped back as she laughed, just as eager to see you as you were.

You opened your eyes and pulled back, looking over her shoulder and seeing your dad enter into your house. You smiled widely as you ran to give him a hug as well.

Your dad laughed, a loud genuine laugh that made it clear he had missed you and was just as happy as you were. He wrapped his arms around you as he placed a kiss on the crown of your head. "Hi sweetie." He smiled, resting his chin on your head.

"You guys finally made it!" You sighed in relief.

Your parents had agreed to stay at your home for a few days, it being the first time since you had moved in. They were eager to see your house and the area you lived in, but also to see and spend time with you.

"Traffic was bad, we came as fast as we would." Said your dad, he brought his and your mothers suitcase into the house, leaving them neatly by the door to bring to their room later.

"Hello mr and mrs y/l/n!" Your boyfriend walked out of the living room and to the main hall where you and your parents stood. He smiled charmingly at the two, eager to make the best impression.

"Hello James." Your mother smiled politely at him, she gave him a quick kiss to his cheek in greeting.

"How are you?" Your dad was next to greet him, he offered his hand for James to shake.

"I'm doing well Mr Y/l/N, I can't complain." James said sincerely. Both your parents nodded and smiled politely.

A series of laughter and friendly competitive arguing suddenly came from the living room, it seemed your friends had finished another round of uno.

Your eyes lit up as you looked between your parents, who looked slightly confused. "I completely forgot to tell you!" You clapped your hands together, "my friends are here, I didn't know what time you guys were coming over at, but I'll let them know you're here, they'll be leaving soon-" you rambled on.

Suddenly your mother seemed very excited, she glanced up at her husband who smiled down at her knowingly.

"No, no, let them stay!" Your mother dismissed, "I want to meet them!"

"Really? Aren't you guys tired from the drive over?" You asked skeptically, unsure if they were being honest or just polite.

Your mother shook her head. "No, we've got a few hours left in us before we're ready for bed." Your dad reassured you.

You shrugged, glancing over to James. "If you guys are sure..."

Your mother smiled once again as she followed you and James into the living room, dragging your father with her who didn't refuse being pulled about.

Walking into the living room you were met with the sight of roughly ten of your friends gathered around the small coffee table, all sitting criss crossed on the carpet floor. There were coaches and armchairs behind them but everyone chose to sit on the floor, wanting to be closer.

On the coffee table there were uno cards stacked messily, some obviously put down in frustration and away from the main pile in the centre. Whilst they argued over people cheating, four of your other friends stood in the joint kitchen, cups of coffee and tea in their hands, the environment far more peaceful then in the living room.

"everyone!" You called over the screaming, "my parents have finally arrived!" You smiled.

Upon your announcement, everyone turned to look at you and your family. The yelling in the living room stopped as your friends turned slightly to look at the unfamiliar faces. Those that had been in the kitchen stepped into the living room to greet the newcomers.

Suddenly the raised voices that had been yelling accusations of cheating and lying, turned into welcoming greetings and introductions. Your friends all smiled and waved at your parents, who reciprocated the action, trying to process all the names that they were suddenly being told.

Your closest friend, Vivienne, walked over from the kitchen and embraced your mother in a warm hug, not having seen her in years. "I've missed you Maria!" She said excitedly to your mother.

"I've missed you too dear!" Your mother said, placing a comforting hand on the back of the younger girls head as she hugged her.

"did you finish building that workshop Jonathan?" Your other friend, Alex, stood from his spot on the floor, walking over to your dad and giving him a good hand shake. Alex had became victim to one of your dads passionate rants over the phone about the workshop he was building, despite never meeting in real life. Although Alex was mostly teasing, your dad smiled at him for remembering.

"its almost finished, I'll show you some pictures." Your dad said, following Alex into the kitchen. Your other friends, Quen, Natalie and Nat followed him. Not because they were any bit interested in the workshop or the pictures he had, but because they loved pestering your dad for stories from when he was in a boy band in the 80s. Especially because they would find ways to tease you about it.

Your dad had a habit of storytelling and reminiscing about the past, a habit your friends more than encouraged.

James soon followed where your dad had went to, always eager for his approval. Something your dad was completely oblivious too.

Some of your friends here had already met your parents and they had gotten close with them which warmed your heart. Your parents were incredibly kind and loved getting to know them.

Vivienne and Odessa stayed chatting with you and your mother, complimenting her outfit and how young she looked, making your mother a blushing mess. When the two girls left to go listen to your dad tell stories, your mother turned to you excitedly.

She leaned in closer, trying to keep her voice down but ultimately failing.

"So, which one is Billie?" She giggled excitedly, looking over at the three other people who were still huddled around the coffee table, tidying the uno cards back up.

Your eyes widened as your face reddened in embarrassment, your mother had spoken so loudly you were sure Billie had heard. "Mom!" You whisper yelled. You glanced nervously over at Billie, her back was towards you and you were relieved to see she hadn't reacted, continuing to pack up the game cards. Maybe she hadn't heard.

"what!" Your mother defended herself, her childish grin still on her face. "I want to finally meet the girl my daughter is always talking about, your father does too. I feel like i know her already from all the times you talk my ear off about her-"

You cut your mother off in embarrassment. "I do not- can we not do this right now?" You mumbled quickly. Your mother was quick to notice your nervousness and blushing face as the corners of your lips lifted slightly into a smile, no doubt you were flustered.

She looked at you knowingly. "Fine, fine." She raised her hands up in surrender, "but we want to meet her."

You rolled your eyes playfully, waving her off as you took a final glance at Billie before walking towards the kitchen. "Go out and stop dad from saying anything embarrassing, I'll get you your wine." You quickly excused yourself, not being able to hide your smile any longer.

You heard your mothers laugh behind you as you walked away.

Little did you know, Billie had heard everything, it was impossible not too. She bit her lip as she grinned to herself, tidying up the uno cards extra slow, wanting to hear more of you and your mothers conversation about her.

"I want to finally meet the girl my daughter is always talking about."

So you talked about her to your parents? Billie's heart leaped at the thought. She felt a blush of her own heat up her face as she put the cards back into the box. She felt giddy and excited at the thought, at the possibility that her feelings for you weren't one sided.

She heard you leave the kitchen and realized she was the only one left inside. Once the uno cards were out back in their original place she began making her way to the back garden where everyone was sitting around on the outside chairs and couches, listening instantly to one of your fathers stories that everyone enjoyed listening to.

Once she walked outside all eyes were on her. It was a feeling Billie had grown accustomed to, being in the public eye for most of her life, but something about feeling your stare on her made her nervous.

She looked over to your mother Maria first, who's eyes sparkled knowingly.

Then she looked to you as you stood from you seat in-between Quen and Odessa. You walked over slowly to her, your sweet scent invading her senses, not that she minded.

A jolt of electricity ran through Billie's veins as you gently placed your hand on her arm. You smiled shyly at her, a smile that meant everything to her.

You looked over to your parents, beckoning them over. "Mom, dad, this is Billie." You said quietly, nervously.

Your moms entire face lit up as she looked between you and Billie.

Quickly she rushed forward, pulling Billie into a warm hug. "Billie, it is wonderful to finally meet you!" The older woman smiled, elated to finally meet her.

"and you mrs y/l/n!" Billie chuckled, relaxing into the woman's embrace, her nerves vanishing.

Your mother pulled away from the hug, frowning playfully at Billie. "Call me Maria." She insisted.

"and you can call me John." Your father walked up behind your mother, pulling Billie into a small hug of his own.

Billie smiled gratefully at their kindness. "Very nice to meet you, John and Maria."

The two parents exchanged pleased smiles, almost a proud look on their faces.

Your parents returned to their seats and a conversation started up again with all your friends, your boyfriend and your parents.

You had to admit from watching that entire exchange you found it weird. James was your boyfriend and yet neither of your parents gave him their wish for him to address them by their first names. Your dad had hugged Billie whilst gave James a courtly shake of the hand, the same with your mother, she had hugged Billie but only gave James a quick peck on the cheek.

You remained standing beside Billie, in a daze of confusion but also relief that everything had gone well and your parents were finally here.

Billie turned to you, leaning in closer to whisper in your ear, "you talk about me to your parents?" She asked mischievously with a smirk, refering to your previous conversation. Obviously she had gained a bigger eggo from your parents enthusiasm and insistence on meeting her.

You felt butterflies in your stomach as you returned to your previous flustered state. You bit the inside of your cheek to restrain your grin. You hated that she had heard that entire conversation, knowing Billie would never let it go. Though secretly you were glad Billie had heard.

"shut up." You laughed making Billie's grin widen.

Knowing you were blushing and not wanting to give Billie more things to tease you about, you turned to walk back to the rest of the group.

Your heart sped up when you felt Billie take your hand in hers, intertwining your fingers and letting you lead her wherever you wanted, her smirk never once falling.

𖦹 ☼ ⋆｡˚⋆ฺ ♡

[lonelyl00n]

UNFADED SCARS

Billie Eilish x Fem!Reader

Warnings: use of y/n, arguments, self doubt, the reader is a sensitive ?? break up ?

Synopsis: you and billie’s first real argument, which leads to a lot of self doubt on her part

The day Billie broke Y/N’s heart was the worst day of her life, and she knew it even as it happened.

They were fifteen, both too young to understand the weight of their emotions, let alone navigate the strain Billie’s rising career placed on their relationship. Every week, there was another show, another interview, another opportunity Billie couldn’t pass up, and with each one, the pressure grew heavier. It made her restless, made her angry, and most of all, made her feel like she was losing control.

But Y/N had always been there. Quiet, sweet, and unwavering in her love, she was Billie’s anchor in the storm. Until Billie let the storm consume her.

It started with something stupid, like it always does. Y/N had mentioned how she missed spending time with Billie, how they hadn’t had a real date in weeks. She didn’t mean it as a jab—she never did. But to Billie, it felt like another reminder that she wasn’t enough.

“What do you want me to do, Y/N?” Billie snapped, pacing the room. “Quit everything? Just stop making music and sit at home with you all day?”

Y/N flinched, her hands gripping the hem of her sweater. “I didn’t say that, Billie. I just… I miss you. That’s all.”

“Well, I’m sorry I can’t be perfect!” Billie yelled, her voice cracking. “I’m sorry I’m not enough for you!”

“You’re twisting my words,” Y/N said softly, tears already welling up in her eyes.

“Maybe because your words don’t make sense!” Billie shot back, her voice sharp and unkind. “You say you’re proud of me, but then you complain I’m not around. What do you want from me, Y/N?”

Y/N’s voice broke as she tried to respond. “I just… I just want you. I want to feel like I matter to you.”

The room went quiet for a moment, Billie staring at her like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Then she laughed, but it wasn’t a happy sound. It was bitter, full of frustration.

“You don’t matter to me?” Billie repeated, her voice low and dangerous. “Is that what you think? God, Y/N, do you even realize how much I do for us? How hard I’m working to make a future for us?”

Y/N shook her head, tears streaming down her face. “That’s not what I meant, Billie! I know you’re working hard, I just… I feel so alone.”

“Well, maybe that’s your problem!” Billie shouted. “You’re always crying about something, always needing me to fix everything! I can’t do it all, Y/N! I can’t be everything for you!”

Y/N froze, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. She wanted to yell back, to tell Billie how unfair she was being. But yelling didn’t come naturally to her, especially not at Billie. So instead, she stood there, silent except for the soft sound of her sobs.

When she finally spoke, her voice was barely a whisper. “I think I should go.”

Billie’s stomach dropped, the weight of her words crashing down on her. “Wait, no—Y/N, I didn’t mean that. I didn’t mean any of it.”

But Y/N was already moving toward the door, her hands shaking as she grabbed her bag. “I love you, Billie,” she said through her tears. “But I can’t… I can’t do this right now.”

“Y/N, please,” Billie begged, her own tears starting to fall. “Don’t go. I’m sorry, okay? I’m so sorry.”

Y/N looked at her, her eyes filled with pain. “You always say sorry, Billie. But it doesn’t change anything.”

And with that, she was gone.

Seven years later, Billie still remembered that night like it was yesterday. She remembered the way Y/N’s voice had cracked, the way her tears had fallen silently, the way she had walked out the door and taken Billie’s heart with her.

They had found their way back to each other eventually, after a lot of time and a lot of healing. But even now, as Billie sat on the couch with Y/N—her wife—curled up beside her, she couldn’t shake the guilt of that night.

“You’re quiet,” Y/N said softly, looking up at her.

Billie smiled faintly, brushing a strand of hair out of Y/N’s face. “Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“About how much I don’t deserve you,” Billie admitted, her voice thick with emotion.

Y/N frowned, sitting up to face her. “Billie—”

“No, let me say this,” Billie interrupted, taking Y/N’s hands in hers. “I was such an idiot back then. I hurt you, and I’ll never forgive myself for that. But I promise you, I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. You mean everything to me, Y/N. Always have, always will.”

Y/N’s eyes filled with tears, but this time, they were happy ones. She leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to Billie’s lips. “You’ve already made it up to me, Billie. You love me, and that’s all I’ve ever needed.”

Billie pulled her into a tight hug, burying her face in Y/N’s shoulder. “I’ll never stop loving you,” she whispered.

“And I’ll never stop loving you,” Y/N replied, her voice steady and sure.

In that moment, Billie knew that no matter how many mistakes she had made, Y/N was her forever. And she would never take that for granted again.

[lonelyl00n]

I don't care; b.e.

Billie's eyebrows knitted together in confusion and a small tinge of worry as she walked into the living room of your shared house. She had just come back from a long day of interviews and was so excited to come home to you only that she found you nowhere to be seen.

"princess? I'm home, " She declared as he set her stuff down on the coffee table. She continued looking around with the worry in her chest increasing. A deep sigh left her lips as she left the living room and went on to the kitchen, only to find that empty, too. Her hands clasped together in front of her as anxiety flooded her mind and she fiddled with the rings on her fingers. "baby?!" She called out again, making her way towards the stairs in a hurry. She couldn't help thinking of the worst as she made her way upstairs;

what if you've been taken?

her stalker is back and he took you?

what if you moved out and left her?

have you been kil-

Her train of worrying thoughts are cut off as she slams open the bedroom door and finds you lying in the bed, phone in hand and plush squeezed to your chest. "oh my god" she let out, putting a hand over her chest as she sighed in relief. You looked up, pushing your headphones off your head with confusion on your face.

"Hey, Bils"

Billie looked at you, her expression the slightest bit angry. "what the hell? I thought something happened to you! you weren't answering me" Realization took over your features then guilt.

"I--..I'm sorry, Bils. I didn't mean to..." You mumble, instinctively biting down on your lower lip.

Billie sighed once more, shaking her head as she walked over to the bed and sat on it. "It's okay, my love" She hummed softly and put a hand on your arm. "what's up? everything okay? you don't usually just sulk in here when I come home"

It was your turn to sigh, shutting your phone off and sitting up. "yeah uh... it's just been... loud today" You mumbled, looking at the sheets under you. "sorry, I pulled in the blinds"

Billie looked behind you and the blinds were indeed pulled in, she hasn't even noticed when she came in in a hurry. You know she doesn't like having no natural light inside and she always told you to keep the blinds pulled back.

"oh, no-... it's okay, baby. I'm not mad" Shook her head, voice softening. "it's been loud, hm? care to share?" She asked, scooting closer to you on the bed. You took a moment, hesitating before nodding and crawling into Billie's arms as she laid back on the bed and your head settled on her chest. Her hand stroked your back in a soothing manner.

"uh..." You began, closing your eyes as your pulse raced. Billie let out a soft hum, urging you to continue. You sighed; "I uh... made some food for lunch." You said quietly. "and it turned out really good"

Billie nodded, a little confused as to what this has to do with anything. "mhm"

"so I uh... ate a lot"

Billie's brows furrowed and her hand paused for a moment before returning to its rhythmic stroking.

"and I-... you know I-... feel like shit. and--..."you took a deep breath. "I just don't understand why you'd--.." Billie cut you off, shushing you and kissing your forehead softly.

"you look mesmerizing, baby" She whispered. "there is nothing I would change about how you look, okay? I love..." Her hands stopped and squeezed your waist. "every--..." her hands slid lower, landing on your backside and giving the soft flesh a squeeze before bringing her hands back to the small of your waist. "thing" You giggled softly at her actions, burying your face into her breasts as your cheeks flushed. "hey, look at me" You oblige, eyes meeting hers and they're so soft and caring.

"I don't care." She whispered. "you're my girl, no matter what" She nodded along her words before leaning down and kissing your forehead again. then the tip of your nose and finally your lips.

Her arms encircled your body on top of hers as you kissed her back, squishing you almost as if she was ready to shield you from anything and everything evil in this world. and let's be honest, she absolutely was.

[lonelyl00n]

Toxic!Soroity!Vanessa X Reader. Breakup

TW: Slight abuse, toxic relationship.

You laid in Vanessa’s arms, as she ran her fingers through your hair with one hand, talking on the phone with the other. Your head raced with the thoughts of the night before, Vanessa had gotten herself drunk and came into your dorm in a rage, yelling how you don’t respect her and you’d be better off dead. And now you lay in her arms, like nothing ever happened.

“ hey Bailey, I’ve gotta let you go, my girl needs attention..yeah I know. Yeah, see ya later “

Vanessa hung up, and wrapped her arms around you tighter, nuzzling into, like nothing ever happened. She was being so gentle, you could almost forget anything did happen, but, you knew she was just hungover.

“ mm..I love my girl…and she loves me, don’t you~? “

“ y-yeah..I do..”

She rolled you ontop of her, sitting you on her lap. She ran her fingers along your thighs, and up to your chest. She lifted up to kiss you, but you pulled back, glancing off.

“ baby..give me a kiss~ “

“ no. I want to talk to you. Not hung over. Just, text me when you’re sobered up. “

You got off her, glancing back at her for a moment. For a moment it looked like you could only see the compassion and love she had in her eyes when she was hung over, but you knew it would fade. You left the room and headed outside, walking down the streets towards the student center of your collage.

*~*

You put away the plate from your lunch, as your phone began to ring. Looking down, you could see it was Vanessa. You answered and held it up to your ear.

“ hello? “

“ Where are you. “

“ glad to hear youd sobered up “

You could hear Vanessa angrily muttering under her breath, before sighing.

“ babe, we’re are you. You wanted to talk, and I’m sober. “

“ I can come over to the house. I’ll be there in 10. “

“ fine..”

Vanessa quickly hung up. You rolled your eyes and made your way back towards the sorority house, it has white walls and pastel pink roofing, Vanessa had it repainted when she became president of the sorority.

You let yourself in, ignoring the few other girls in the house, making your way upstairs to Vanessa room

“ Vanessa. “

“ Y/N..cmere…what’s wrong “

Vanessa took a step towards you, opening her arms to embrace you. You longed to have her hold you, but you shook your head.

“ Vanessa…I don’t think we should..see eachother anymore…”

She froze, her eyes stared at you in disbelie, taking another step towards you. You pulled the scrunchie off your wrist, putting it in Vanessa hand.

“ I hope someone came love you one day, but it’s not me, Vanessa. “

“ Y-y/N this is a joke. Cmon just sit down, let’s talk this through”

You turned, heading towards the door, Vanessa lunged towards you, grabbing your wrists with one hand.

“ you can’t leave. You understand?? You’d be nothing without me, I’m making you liked! “

With a swift twist from your hands, you broke free, shaking your head.

“ I..I’d rather be nothing than be the something you’re making me..”

Vanessa grabbed you again, pinning you against the wall. Her breaths grew heavier, her icy blue eyes starring into you.

“ no, I’ll fix this. Your just tired, I haven’t been treating you well- “

“ you’ve never treated me well, Vanessa. “

“ NO. I’ll just, I’ll just fuck you. That always fixes it dosnt it? Cmon, you know you want me, you want my strap fucking you silly, you always want that. “

You twisted out of her grip, shoving her as you quickly made your way out of the room, and down the stairs.

“ Vanessa. We are over. “

You watched as she struggled for anything to get you to stay, a part of you wanted to stay, but you couldn’t. You wouldn’t. You had a future, you knew she didn’t.

“ you’ll never sleep peacefully. I’ll find you, I’ll make sure you stay. YOUR MINE, Y/N, MINE. “

You turned, leaving without another word. You heard screams and thrashing as you left, your heart shattered. You were on your own, you couldn’t go back. But, atleast you’d be happy, you’d rebuild somewhere, and have a new life.

Vanessa was gone. For now.