lonelyl00n
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she/her
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lonelyl00n · 2 months ago
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"call me good," his breath shaky as he held your cheeks in his hands. "say you love me, that there's no one else as important as me in your life."
he kissed you out of nowhere really, like he was some desperate dog. "do you hate me?" he'd ask. it was as if he was a little kid, who needed constant reassurance.
"y-you feel so- good-" he'd always moan in your ear while you two made out. you thought he was a bit of a loser, but he wanted to prove you wrong by being on top.
"s-shit- i think i'm gonna c-cum first- don't be upset-"
you thought it was a bit annoying. how after he was at his high, he'd collapse on top of you, kissing and sucking your neck.
"n-never let me go... okay? i-.. i'll be really upset if you do."
god. he was such a loser.
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loser desperate yandere x popular reader
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lonelyl00n · 2 months ago
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You are lovingly kidnapped but even the most patient captor has his limits. So how do you keep things from going off the rails?
Tw : dubcon, kidnapping, lots of fear.
Your captor smiling at you with that smile that makes your skin crawl. It’s to friendly looking. To fake. He puts down the bowl of soup in front of you and pierces you with his eyes. „I’ll have to feed you, won’t I? I can’t untie you again, the last time I did that you tried to escape.“
You don’t even respond to him. He slowly lifts up a spoonful of soup to your mouth and collides with your lips, reluctantly you open your mouth and the taste of fresh, healthy soup fills your mouth. You feel exhausted and tired. Spent. Your last escape attempt having failed took so much of your willpower. It’s painful when you think you have a chance at escaping only to recognise you don’t.
You got out of the room, bashing him over the head - but then we’re met with a corridor with only one door, which was locked. And by that he had come to it and gotten you back.
He hid his anger but you knew he was seething. Yet there you were, being spoonfed soup and obediently opening your mouth spoon for spoon.
Soon the entire bowl was finished. It had been delicious. He knew so much about you. Down to what your favourite soups were.
„How about a thank you for the meal I prepared for you?“ He asked, trying to hide his hostility.
You could taste iron on your tongue. You had bit down on it to hard without noticing.
„Thank you..“ You responded in what you hoped was a polite sounding tone of voice.
He had treated you like a spoiled captive princess up so far but this was apparently under the delusion he could make you love him that way. He didn’t have that hostile angry energy before you attacked and tried to escape. You knew he was trying to stay civil. But you felt broken and on edge.
It felt like a tipping point. This guy could fly of the handle any moment now, it was palpable. It hung in the air so thick you could’ve cut it.
He knew all about you, clearly. But you knew next to nothing about him. Which meant you didn’t know what to do about any of this. You didn’t know what would piss him off worse or what would win a segment of trust back. He felt like many unknown variables to you, that you could neither define or grasp.
„Hey..“ His concerned words got you out of your head. „Your lip is bleeding..“ He said.
Shit. Had you continued with your lip after your tongue?
Before you had any time to think a response his tongue was gently licking the blood off of your lips.
He was so close.
You decided on instinct. Maybe because the sensation aroused you a little and it felt easier to act on something atleast partially true then to make up an entire role or lie to play - with the risk of angering him worse - you decided to allow a moan to escape your lips.
Then you kissed him.
But he pulled away instantly.
He looked flustered.
But he wasn’t dumb.
„You attacked me. Do you think I’d believe this to be genuine?“ There. There was scorn in his voice now that he didn’t even attempt to hide.
Fuck. Was that the wrong choice? Did you make it worse?
Lying. Pretending. You concluded that was something he disliked, you weren’t sure if it was true or not, but you had to act before this kidnapping stopped being as „comfortable“ as it had been so far.
„You’re right.. I attacked you. I.. I wanted to escape. I - I still do.. I would.. but I know it won’t work. I won’t try that again.“ You held your breath. You cut off your own words. Maybe it was best to leave unexpressed how much you truly still wanted to escape. Don’t lie but don’t share to much of what could trigger him. Good.
His reaction wasn’t anger. It wasn’t anything positive either. He looked pretty unmoved. He was just watching you.
„.. But I did feel a little aroused just now when you.. suddenly did that.. That doesn’t mean I’m .. happy I’m here or anything - I just..“ You didn’t know what else to say. Maybe that wouldn’t convince him either. Maybe it was to late, maybe your one attempt at freedom had fucked it all up. You were scared.
„So you want to offer your body to me as an apology?“ There was disdain in his voice. You felt stung. „You better be ready for it then. And never forget that you were the one that crossed that line, that wasn’t me..“
„I didnt .. I..“ You felt hopeless.
„I don’t love seeing you that hurt or sad. You know? I don’t. But if this makes you cry, I’d do it anyways. You offered it to me just now, you did. It’s mine now, atleast that one time I won’t hold back and I’ll take you.”
You felt a bitter taste in your mouth. This didn’t sound like anger but it didn’t sound good either. His prior delusionally happy tone had pissed you off, but you’d have given anything to have it back now.
You were going to try something else. You weren’t gonna give up. “I don’t want you to just take me, though. I want you to do it how .. it feels good to me too. I want to enjoy it.”
He smiled bitterly “I would’ve made your body feel good anyways. But look at you trying to make a brave face at the big dangerous monster. I know how you see me now. It hurts. But it’s okay. Just continue not to say the quiet part out loud and let me have your obedience instead of your love. I’ll treat it well.”
Then he forced a kiss on you that left you breathless, his tongue opening your mouth whilst his hand was caressing your neck. There was something so passionate and unhinged about the way he kissed you. It filled you up. You wondered how a single kiss could leave you feeling that invaded. It felt like sex.
You breathed quickly and loudly after his mouth seperated from yours, it had felt incredible and left you panting.
He looked at you with an almost sad gaze. “It felt good didn’t it? I told I take good care of my possessions. I love what I own. I just wish what I own loved me back.”
He picked you up and carried you to the bed, your legs and arms still tied. He got on top of you, kissing your neck and scraping it with its teeth. “It hurts that you want to reject me that much… but I do like seeing how your body reacts to me like this ..” He whispered inbetween your shivering moans.
You felt like he expected you to say something in return, but you felt if you lied now to appease him it would come back to bite you so much worse than if you just kept silent.
You didn’t have anything to say.
He started to take off your clothes to the extent he could and then started to rub massage oil on you, massaging your thighs, belly and shoulders very throughly. You couldn’t help but feel relaxed for the first time today. His touch was consistent and dependable, treating your body with utter care.
Then he started to play with your nipples and your moans grew louder. He tugged on them. You moaned and winced more. It felt good. His touch felt good.
It wasn’t like he repulsed you. But he terrified you. You felt like a small animal trapped with a predator. You wanted out of here.
But his touch felt soothing and comforting. Lulling you in. It felt good to give into his touch. It felt good to surrender. Being scared was exhausting. Giving into the pleasure of his touch was much easier.
He must’ve noticed the internal change on your face cause you felt him get calmer. “That’s good…” He whispered. His fingers finding that sweet spot between your legs, muscles tightening - he played with it to his hearts content. He was good at making you cum fast. You screamed yourself hoarse as he kept you cumming.
You felt like you were falling into the pits of hell just to find that hell was a very warm, pleasurable and comforting place.
You told yourself not to talk but you mindlessly mumbled „I want your cock please… please? Pretty please?“
It was pleasurable in hell. That’s right, you told yourself this was hell. That it wasn’t really real.
He looked at you like you were delicate and delicious. „.. Of course my love. If you want it that badly you can have it. I’d love to see you spread your legs for me but you sadly cannot be trusted enough to be untied..“
So he simply flipped you on your stomach and entered your pussy from behind.
He cock felt incredible. So incredible that you almost started to drool onto the mattress.
„It’s almost like you’re mine like that.. even if I know that’s not it.. I don’t know what I’d call that… what that is you’re giving me here.. But I like it. I’ll take it.“ He whispered, his voice now authentically gentle again. Your pussy tensed around his cock upon hearing his normal tone of voice again.
You were so happy to hear that again. So so happy you had it back.
Your hips started to work with him, thrusting themselves at him to feel his member more deeply.
„I love you..“ you said without thinking, trying to feel his cock even better. You felt you would’ve never said that but there was something about this moment. It didn’t feel like you were lying but it didn’t feel like love was the right term for it either.
„You don’t..“ he whispered, kissing your back gently as he kept thrusting in and out of you harder. Your back arching for him. „But I’m sure .. what you’re feeling right now is intense and warm enough to make you say this..“
„More..“ You whispered. „Make me feel better. I need you. I love you. Please. Please.“
He smiled into the nabe of your neck „.. Did you break or something? I tried to be pretty careful and gentle with you, you know?“
„Im not broken… I’m..“ you wouldn’t lie to him so you said „… this is just sincerely the first time I felt safe since I’ve been here and I want more and more and more of it..“
He gave you what you wanted and fucked into you even harder and deeper.
„I tried so hard to make you feel safe and yet you do nothing but fear me but if I’m balls deep inside you you’re calm?“ He sighed a little.
Finally you felt another climax come „You’re mine you’re mine you’re mine..“ was what you whispered as you came hard around his cock, pulsing around him.
This made him cum as well. He creampied you.
„Im yours huh? Interesting thing your brain needs you to feel right now… would you like it I wonder? If I was yours as well rather than me just trying to own you, mh?“
He pulled out of you, cum oozing out of you.
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lonelyl00n · 2 months ago
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Stooooopppp y’all just mean 😭
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lonelyl00n · 2 months ago
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I really liked your Yandere thoughts about being a Model surrounded by Obsession. If it is not too much to ask, could you do one about being an Actor that is surrounded by obsession?
Some more yandere thots for y’all. This time you’re an actor who can’t escape obsession.<3
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Other actors all want to do romantic scenes with you. If they ever had to do a sex scene with you they’d be so smug. Already thinking of ways to tease it in interviews and thinking of how many people will be shipping you together after it comes out. Do they watch edits and read fanfic of the two of you? It more likely then you’d think. Everyone wants to be your date on the red carpet or to be in a pr relationship that hopefully into more.
A personal assistant who has so much control over you. Who remembers every little detail, every meeting and every extra actor who looks at you just a little too long. They know exactly how you take your coffee and every single password you’ve ever had. Your beloved assistant will login to your phone and block anyone they don’t like and they’ll cancel shoot days if they think you need a break. Your assistant knows everything about you and they’ll use every little secret against you if they have too. They just want to take care of you. To make sure you know that there’s no way you’d survive without them.
Writers who write shows and movies specifically with you in mind. If you mention in a interview that you’d really like to do a horror movie next then within a few months you’ll be fielding more offers for horror movies then you could ever act in. The bench mark for a successful writer is no longer actually getting a show or movie made, it’s you agreeing to be in it.
Talk show hosts who make sure that every show has at least one segment about you. Maybe just a little update pulled from your social media or them gushing about how cute you looked doing press for your newest venture. They’d bump the creator of the world themselves if you requested to be on their show. They’d probably get so star struck though that you’d end up doing most of the hosting while they just give love sick stares your way.
Fans who sign onto any project as an extra or a grunt no matter how crappy the pay or conditions, Just for a chance to meet you. While extras are pretty harmless and will mostly just flock to you at any time they can and maybe break into your trailer to get a souvenir, it’s the grunts you really need to worry about. If they hear someone else on set talking badly about you then they’re not afraid to drop a light on their head.
A more seasoned actor who takes you under their wing. Steers you away from directors they know will take advantage of you or away from projects that will hurt your career. They’re just so helpful and protective that you can’t help but trust them. All they ask in return is for your time. When they hug you just a little too long you think it’s just because they care but honestly they have paparazzi hiding in the bushes. They’ve already been practicing what they’ll say when the pictures come out. That they were just trying to help your career by being seen with them, they didn’t realize you’d be upset. Of course you’ll forgive them because they’re just looking out for you right?
Award shows that always make sure you never leave empty handed. Who give you a special gift bag that makes all the other ones look like they came from the dollar store. You also never leave without an award. If you were to not make any new content for a year you can bet you’d still be invited to all the big shows and would win the ‘fan voted’ best actor/actress award, an award that definitely wasn’t created just for you.
You have a lot of influence when it comes to trends. If people notice you wearing a brand a lot then it’ll become super popular or if you endorse a product everyone will buy it. Companies and brands are always trying to get you to appear in their products or do ads for them because of how influential you are.
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lonelyl00n · 2 months ago
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polarity | 06 yandere! jungkook
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pairing: yandere!jungkook x (f) reader
genre: yandere
warnings: 18+ , toxic relationships, unhealthy and obsessive behavior , mentions of mental health, manipulation, blackmail, cheating
word count: 21.k
summary: Your best friend’s new boyfriend becomes infatuated with you..
Playlist
Parts: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06
❄️CS | 03 JK
A/N: im delirious after editing this so if you see any error , please pretend you didn’t 🥴💕💕!!! ily <3
—-
The anticipating silence filled the room as you stared down the familiar face in front of you. You could hear a ringing in your ears, the anger in your body simmering down and being replaced with sheer panic. Suddenly your mind was now moving rapidly through every possible reason as to why Hoseok could be here. Had your text messages been read? Had there been a slip up on your part? Had you mentioned him to Jungkook? What did he know? How did he know? Did they know each other? Your feet shifted to the side and you took a step back.
For a moment it felt as if this was some sort of soap opera playing out in front of you and you were just a pathetic puppet being wired by her master. Jungkook was the deranged puppeteer in this circus and you were the biggest fool of them all.
You inched forward, instinctively wanting to tell Hoseok to get away from him. Just the thought of him near Jungkook made you nervous. Let alone watching him being sat so comfortably in his apartment.
“What are you doing here?” You asked in a breathless whisper, the clear shock evident on your entire physique.
Hoseok’s eyes shifted between you and Jungkook, tensing up at your question. He seemed not only confused but upset. Your eyes didn’t miss the soju bottle next to him. The sight left you even more than perplexed . Why was Jungkook seemingly having a casual drink with the same boy he had threatened before? How had he managed to lure him into the apartment in the first place? How was he here? The worst of thoughts began to emerge in your head.
“That’s a little rude, isn’t it?” Jungkook feigned innocence, leaning in to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear like he often did in endearment. However, in this particular moment nothing about it felt sweet or endearing. “Considering you’re the one who invited him over.”
What?
Your face scrunched up in complete astonishment. You slapped his hand away and put more space between the two of you.
“What are you talking about? I didn’t invite anyone.” Your voice wentup in pitch towards the end. “What’s going on?”
You look between the both of them, they shared a swift knowing glance at each other before Jungkook locked his gaze onto you again.
What was that?
Something was so off. Not only were you terribly confused but it felt familiar almost, terribly familiar. It didn’t feel as if you had walked in on a clear betrayal. It felt as if you had walked into some sick kind of inside joke. A set up meant to leave you in the dark. It didn’t felt like you were the one that deserved an explanation.
But you noticed one thing. Jungkook’s prying eyes poorly concealed something else in them. Seething jealousy. A shudder left you as you braced for what he was going to do. You’ve messed up horribly.
You felt Hoseok’s eyes on you now too, his expression changing into a frown as he studied you.
“I told you,” Jungkook spoke, his dark eyes didn’t stray from you but he was clearly addressing the other man in the room. “She was playing you.”
You snap your head back at Hoseok in shock at the words coming out of Jungkook’s mouth. You weren’t expecting them but they helped confirm your suspicions. The puzzle pieces were still scattered but you slowly began to watch them fit together as you took in everything in front of you.
This couldn’t be happening.
“What the hell are you talking about!” You shrieked out but immediately took a deep breath, feeling yourself start to lose control of the emotions overwhelming you. A need to reel yourself back in took over, a part of you afraid of triggering another panic attack that you couldn’t handle at the moment. You flared your arms up as you neared towards Hoseok who looked more upset by the second.
“You texted me.” Hoseok stated shaking his head at you. “You sent me this location and told me to come over, that you were ‘really needed me right now’.”
You stare at him, freezing in your steps as you rapidly shake your head in denial. What was he talking about? Had Jungkook taken your phone somehow without your knowledge? But how? He hadn’t asked you to unlock your phone the other day. You hadn’t texted Hoseok since yesterday, vaguely giving him a run down of your day. In fact, you had been texting him far less these days as you were determined to still let him down gently. You figured it was working. Which is why you couldn’t believe your eyes at him being here. You would never tell him to meet you anywhere. Not with Jungkook’s inquisitive nature that you had barely escaped earlier. Let alone lead him right into a lion’s den.
“No, no.” You explained, pointing towards Jungkook. “He must’ve contacted you somehow, I never texted you! I don’t understand what the fuck is going on but I never texted you that!”
This was ridiculous. You gripped your bag and slung it off your shoulder. You began to search for your phone, eagerly needing to provide proof of this insane claim but Hoseok continued his accusation.
“You told me you broke up with him yet you led me directly to your very much still boyfriend’s place.” He continued you with a scoff. “The text came from your contact. What the hell are you doing? Why lie about something like that? Is this a sick game or some shit?”
The text came from you.
That was literally impossible. Jungkook didn’t know your passcode.
Did he?
Even if he did, you would’ve noticed he went through it. Wouldn’t you? You didn’t recall leaving your phone unattended. Or did you? The days here didn’t even feel real, you were struggling to recall much of anything right now. But most of all, you didn’t like the guilt you felt at the thought of Jungkook going through your phone. You should be angry and you were but another part of you also felt ashamed. It felt exactly like what you had felt that morning he confronted you about your phone and how you had thought you fooled him successfully for once.
The walls were closing in on you as you finally found your phone. Your fingers shook while tapping against the screen.
“She lied.” Jungkook chimed in. From the corner of your eye you could see him still observing you as he walked right over to the island. “She does this whenever we have a fight, she just wants attention.”
No.
No.
No.
You swallowed, your eyes stinging with newfound tears as you opened your texts, easily finding Hoseok’s contact that you placed under a girl’s name. Your closed your eyes tightly, letting out a silent curse. You were right there was no texts of you sending a message to meet up, your screen just showed the many texts of you casually talking and politely declining to meet up with him. But it was then you realized your mistake.
These messages didn’t rid you of any guilt. They only dug your grave further.
You had been deceptive. Not with malicious intent but you had been nonetheless. You had lied to not only Hoseok, but to Jungkook.The latter unsurprisingly filled you with much more dread. No matter which way you looked at it, this looked exactly how he intended it to look like. The story of an unfaithful lover that had been caught red handed with another man by her husband.
Jungkook fit the part with ease with the way his demeanor promised silence before the storm. The forced coolness in his tone was hiding a beast beneath it. You suppose you fit the part too by how dry your mouth had gotten. You found yourself suddenly not wanting to meet his scrutinizing gaze. You went behind his back, didn’t you? You lay in his bed every night, ate his food, enjoyed his luxurious and in return you sneak around. Did you not deserve his wrath? Perhaps you deserved much more.
Another skipped heartbeat.
What was wrong with you? The rational side of you was slipping away little by little. It knew well that this wasn’t your fault but your feelings were fighting strongly against all rationality. If it wasn’t your fault then why were you hesitating to show them your phone? If you were so innocent then why did you feel so dirty? You gripped your phone painfully tight officially panicking as you delayed to turn it over like you were so eagerly planning on doing a moment ago. How could you be so idiotic? Why didn’t you delete these texts? Why didn’t you block him all together? You’ve not only screwed yourself over but you’ve taken Hoseok down with you.
Jungkook seemed to notice your struggle, his mask slightly slipping.
“ What’s the matter, baby?” The corner of his mouth quirked up slightly. “Show your proof.”
He practically spit out the last word, twisted amusement taking over his gaze. You felt your lips tremble as you tried your hardest to swallow down a sob.
“Jungkook.” You pleaded with wide eyes. “Please, why are you doing this?”
His expression sharpened at that. Instead of taking pity in you, like you foolishly assumed he might, he glared daggers at you. His weakness seemed to be seeing you break and seeing you break down in tears. As sick as it was he did once tell you he hated to see you cry and you cling to that slither of hope that would appeal to his more softhearted side. But of course you should’ve known better than to trust you had Jungkook figured out in the slightest.
“Me?” He asked you incredulously, his mask fully falling now as you saw his eyes flash with a familiar type of hurt you had seen in them before. The same type of hurt when you had yelled at him that you would never love him. You took yet another cautious step back, surprised at how much the look seemed to leave you completely chilled this time. You didn’t remember feeling this breathless last time you had caused it.
“How do you have the audacity to say that to me.” He sneered at you and one stride towards you had him closing most of the space you’d been creating between you. “How about you turn over the phone screen and show me how much you’ve been lying to my face?”
Another step.
“How about you tell me exactly where you’ve been all day.”
Another skipped heartbeat.
He knew where’d you been.
“No.” You continued to shake your head and turned your frantic gaze towards the other poor man in the room.
“Hoseok, you need to listen to me. This isn’t what it looks like, he’s doing this on purpose to-"
Jungkook’s cruel laugh cut you off, he ran a hand through his dark locks in disbelief. You watched in horror as he played the betrayed boyfriend role so convincingly because he genuinely did feel like you betrayed him. You felt your chest ache at the sight. Why did it ache? Why did it hurt to see him like this? Not only had you not even sent that message to Hoseok but you didn’t owe Jungkook any sense of loyalty. You didn’t owe him anything.
But the broken look in the large doe eyes that you had spent every night looking into since you got here made you feel like you owed him the world. You saw the corner of his lip twitch as he tried to blink away his glossy stare.
“It’s exactly what it looks like.” Jungkook stated with determination. So sure of himself. He tilted his head to the side, turning to Hoseok. “Did you know what she had just finished doing just before she received your adorable first text?”
You stiffen at his implication and at the way he comes up behind you. His breath tickles your ear as his fingers come to brush your hair out of your face and wraps his other arm around your waist. You let out a small gasp. The hand on your hair slowly runs down the back of your neck and inner shoulder. The cold sensation of his rings making you involuntarily shiver.
“Or rather who she was doing.” Before you can react, he pulls you further into him and places a kiss on the top of your head. “You have no idea how pretty she looks on top of me.”
Your jaw hung at his awful crude words and you harshly pull yourself away from him, quickly putting back the previous distance in between you. Your face felt like it was on fire. You had nearly forgotten the undeniable mean streak Jungkook possessed. It had been easy to pretend it had never existed with how sweetly he had treated you all this time you’ve shared his space and his bed. How quickly had you forgotten the many sides of him, the ugly sides that came out when things didn’t go his way and when his doll had overstepped her restraints.
But it was obvious that this was more than Jungkook being cruel, he was making a point. Staking his claim.
“Stop it! What’s wrong with you?” You didn’t need to even look towards Hoseok’s direction to know how incredibly uncomfortable he was. It was clear in the way he cleared his throat and went to stand up.
“There wasn’t a need for all of this, I would’ve never asked you out if I’d known you two had just been on some kind of break.”
“We never broke up, she just loves making me jealous whenever we have ….disagreements.” Jungkook replied for you with a smirk spreading on his lips that reminded you of a devious child.
You were breathing heavily now, struggling to ground yourself as you felt the awful dread start traveling through you once again. It was triggered and you couldn’t do anything to stop it now. You had mere seconds left before your mind was burdened by sheer panic.
“She was just using you, unfortunately you were the perfect bait.” Jungkook raised an eyebrow at you. You watched nervously as he walked back over to the counter and leaned on it, directly facing Hoseok. You could practically hear his grin. “You need to realize how girls work, you seem a bit inexperienced .“
Your phone dropped with a loud ‘clank’ but the two men didn’t seem to even notice it. It may have looked like you simply threw it to onto the floor in rage but your hands hand not stopped shaking. You felt the hideous need to run your nails down your arms and face . It was taking great effort not to do so, you opted for running them down frantically through your hair instead. He was turning the tables completely and successfully. He was playing this off as a typical unsteady relationship where he made you look like the dramatic girlfriend who was simply acting out when there was trouble in paradise.
Hoseok let out a breathless laugh, shaking his head as he stood up from his seat. He seemed to be completely over it.
“Whatever, you need to tell your crazy girlfrie-"
“You need to learn to take threats more seriously. I told you to stay away from her .” You heard Jungkook cut him off with now a much less neutral tone. All casualness gone. You didn’t need to look at him to know why the air seemed heavier now, you wanted to tell Hoseok to be quiet and not poke him further but you could barely focus your spiraling mind on anything other than the feeling of your chest tightening.
“Listen, I didn’t think it was all that serious. She never actually told me she had a boyfriend. You can’t blame me for not knowing right?” There was a slight defensiveness to how Hoseok said it and you couldn’t help but feel bad. He’d been blindsided completely. When he spared a glance at you his face scrunched up in seeming concern at your worsening state of panic.
“Right.” Jungkook nodded. His grin still present but it faltered a little when he noticed Hoseok’s gaze on you.
“Hoseok, please listen to me. I-I did lie but it wasn’t because of what he’s saying. I wasn’t playing with you. At first I was trying to-” A frustrated sigh left you as you tried to figure out how to explain yourself. You couldn’t tell him the complete truth, not in front of Jungkook. His menacing blackmail still hovered over you like your own personal grey cloud.
“To let you down easily.” You cringed at your confession. It sounded much worse saying it out loud and you saw Jungkook raising both his eyebrows in mocking manner. You glared at the realization that hit you.
He knew you wouldn’t able to explain yourself. That’s why he brought Hoseok here. He wanted to see you cower and admit your mistake in front of him with no way out. Perhaps he even knew he’d trigger your anxiety by doing so. He’s managed to gather every key that unlocked your weaknesses.
Hoseok clenched his jaw, his lips set in a straight line. He looked like he couldn’t wait to sprint out the door. You knew you’d find no help in him or hope he’d see through Jungkook’s manipulation anymore. Now he was convinced you’ve dragged him into some unnecessary relationship drama.
“How considerate of you, baby.” Jungkook continued his taunting but you heard his true displeasure beneath it. He turned his attention back to Hoseok and circled the other side of the island where he sat.
The apartment was starting to feel much smaller than you recalled.
“So now that we cleared that up and there’s no room for pesky excuses . I would very much like you to stay the fuck out of my relationship. “
You flinched at the venom in his tone. The rage he’d been burying coming to the surface and poured itself all over the last sentence.
Seeing just how close Jungkook had gotten to him wasn’t helping your growing panic. He was taller than Hoseok but that wasn’t what was intimidating about him. It was his entire demeanor sending off such drastic mixed signals .There was nothing worse than not knowing how to predict an opponent in the slightest.
Jungkook placed a rough hand on Hoseok’s shoulder.
You swore your heart stopped.
“And I suggest you start by blocking my girlfriend’s number from your phone and forget she ever existed to you.” He leaned into Hoseok’s ear, his eyes tracing back to you as that mean lazy smile remained on his lips. From the outside it seemed like the typical comrade bro hug, almost friendly in manner. Two good-looking college boys sharing some type of gossip.
“I’d hate to show you what a name like mine can do to a nobody like you.” If he had meant to whisper it then he failed terribly because you had heard his threat perfectly. “Money talks a lot around here, I’m sure you know that. I could make you lose everything you’ve worked for or come very close to it. You won’t get a second warning.”
There was a few seconds of silence. Or minutes. You really couldn’t tell.
“I get it, I swear I don’t want any problems.” Hoseok replied sounding more peeved than shaken by your insane ‘boyfriend’s’ words. He probably assumed he was just another entitled rich boy who was throwing around empty threats because his ego was hurt.
He’d be half right but there was a lot more wrong with Jungkook than his spoilt attitude and those threats were not as empty as he thought.
Jungkook stared at him for a long moment, whether to take in his words or perhaps looking for an indication of a lie you weren’t sure but once he seemed satisfied he gave him a slow nod.
“Good.” He finally took a step away from him and grabbed the soju bottle next to him, shoving it into Hoseok’s chest. “Need me to call for an Uber? I heard bus fares are quite high nowadays.”
Hoseok’s face flushed but you were certain it wasn’t due to the alcohol.
“I can walk.” He grumbled as he began to walk towards the front door.
“Suit yourself.” Jungkook flashed him another smile, this time displaying his perfect teeth. It was an uncanny sight.
You hated yourself for not even managing to get a another word out, too engrossed in your own doomsday. The fleeing sensation of humiliation didn’t have room to properly settle, overridden by much more powerful emotions that never shared their home in your tortured mind. The nails were now starting to dig into your arms, you barely felt Hoseok walk past but you for sure didn’t miss l the last nasty glance he sent your way before the sound of the door slamming shut echoed through the room.
An immediate sob left your lips, your knees slowly gave out and you let yourself fall against the cold ceramic tiles. You lifted your head up slightly, watching the man in front of you with tears pooling your vision. He had never not been quick to comfort you during your attacks but this time he simply stood there with no intention of running to comfort you. Instead he let out a sigh, his eyes remained on the door with an odd look on his face. For a moment, it seemed like he was holding back a sob himself. His eyes shifting to the corner of the room before over to you. He bit his bottom lip harshly as he ran a hand over his face.
“Why the tears baby? You caused this.” He muffled into his own hands, turning his back to you. You watched his long legs paced back and forth between the small space of where you lay. Watching him run his fingers run over his now messy hair.
You continued to sob quietly, breaths growing more shallow. How could he say that to you? You had caused this?
“Get up. We need to get you into a cold shower if you want to feel better.” You heard him order as he struggled to contain a steady tone. He turned around, placing a hand on the marble counter and leaning his weight on it causing his muscles to flex underneath his thin t-shirt. His bottom lip was now swollen and red. Eyes puffy and distraught.
It was so unfair. All of it.
“You hacked my phone, didn’t you? Because I didn’t send that text to Hoseok and how else would you have known….where I was.” You muttered the last part mostly to yourself, the idea becoming more of a fact than a theory. You had assumed he had simply followed you but if he had gone as far as hacking your phone then he surely would’ve used it to track your location.
There was no way he had followed you either, the timing wouldn’t have made much sense and you were certain you would’ve spotted his car at some point considering how careful you had been the entire commute there.
You jump suddenly at the sound of his hand slamming down harshly on the counter.
“No shit.” Jungkook spit out and you draw back. The abrupt action caught you off guard. You had never witnessed him physically express his anger before.
“Now.get.up.” He repeated. “I can’t help you if you’re sobbing on the floor.”
“I don’t want anything from you!” You shouted back, sending him the most hateful look you could muster. He blinked, eyebrows furrowing as still he refused to look your way but you swore you saw a flash of regret on his face.
He took a deep breath and regained most of his composure. His jaw clenched.
“What did you expect? Did you really think I wouldn’t find out? There will be no secrets between us. I won’t allow it.”
Well, wasn’t that just rich coming from him.
“No secrets? I-I know what you did.” You accused in between sobs, your hands planted firmly on the floor as you shifted your body weight towards your right leg that left you in an awkward sitting position. It was hard to ignore the chills running down your entire body, your mind struggled to focus on what you wanted to scream at him.
He turned his head to look down at you. His penetrating gaze meeting yours at last.
“I know that you were the one that made my professor accuse me of plagiarism.” You said after another intake of breath. “ You did it, didn’t you? You blackmailed him! Just like you did to me. Just like you do to everyone in order to get your way. I don’t know with what but you did.”
He was silent. Just quietly looking at you.
Your short breaths only quickened, the horrible feeling coming in waves, stopping then gaining more force. You felt like you were stuck in a mid fall. It felt like years passed before Jungkook slowly made his way over to you, your eyes traced over the slight twitch of his fingers and cubic steel bracelet around his wrist. He bent down to your level and you felt his fingers lifting your chin up at him. You knew he could feel you shaking because he angled your face towards him again when you tried to look off to the side, his set gaze halting your rapid eye movements.
“Seems like a little birdie has been talking.” He whispered to you, he almost sounded disappointed. “That just won’t do, baby.”
You felt the sudden urge to slap him but you went to push him away instead. He caught your arms before you could do so, pushing them towards his chest and pulling your whole body closer to him. His actions were rough and careless. An indicator of just how much you’ve pissed him off this time. You could feel your teeth chattering now, your panic attack reaching its peak as you felt your vision blur. It was as if someone had poured a bucket of ice all over you except you wished someone actually had just to rid you of this feeling.
“You know she’s right, you know I’m right. That’s why you’re so upset.” You went on as you squirmed in his hold.
“How easily you’ve forgotten what she’s done to you. Is it that easy to fool you, baby? Does that bitch really have such a tight hold on you still that you that you accept her words as truth without question?” He sounded a parent scolding a small foolish child over taking sweets from a stranger.
He was wrong. Your once all-consuming love for Eunji had turned into a grudge that you couldn’t shake off. She might’ve been a horrible friend but why would she lie about something like that? It seemed too specific. It seemed like she knew more than she was willing to admit and for some reason that only angered you more. She knew more yet she had given you crumbs in return. Was that the plan all along or was she making you a victim of her selfish bitterness again? Even after everything, it was hard for you to believe she hated you that much.
Because you had seen it. You had seen a fragment of sincerity in her eyes earlier. A small piece of pity, no matter how fleeing.
“Ask your little boyfriend what he was doing walking into Professor Clark’s classroom a few weeks ago.”
You swore you had heard it in her voice too. As if she had been doing you one last favor. Granting you one last bit of kindness for all those years spent together being thrown away. But the more you ponder over it, the more Jungkook’s planted seed of doubt began to grow its roots. Had you only seen what you had hoped to?
“You accuse me of lying to you over some gossip your little fake friend filled your head with? It didn’t take long for you to go running back into her arms, did it? Where is your pride?” The disgust in his voice would be hard to fake and you had to look away from the sheer sincerity in it.
“I didn’t run back to her! I wanted answers and-"
“And did you find them?” He cut you off, eyes searching your face like something in it had already granted him the answer. “No, of course you didn’t baby. You let her have the last laugh again.”
Again
“How would she know to make that connection and why would she lie about her seeing you walk into our professor’s classroom weeks ago.” You hissed back at him eagerly grasping to take control of the conversation that he had so easily overpowered in seconds.
God, you really couldn’t breathe.
“Do you hear yourself? You’re asking me why a girl that has been jealous and spiteful towards you for years would try and scheme against you for sleeping with her ex-boyfriend! ” Jungkook sneered back and you flinched at the sudden raise of volume in his voice.
“Lying comes as easily as breathing to some. Haven’t you learned that by now? You really are more naive than I thought if you have yet to realize how unkind this world is and how often people like you get trampled over.”
You let out another quivering sob, growing more and more upset by his words. You might be naive but you weren’t that naive to not realize that he wasn’t the one who should be saying this to you. Him of all people. It felt like a stab in the chest. Jungkook lets go of your arms and brings them to cradle your face in his hands instead. His thumbs wiping away your never ending tears. His action is meant to be gentle but his grip is so tight that you feel his nails digging slightly into your skin.
“I’ve only ever tried to protect you, baby. Protect you from her and from yourself.” His hot breath sent waves of shock through you, you felt his lips lightly graze your own. “How many times must I save you from her? And from everyone who has ill intentions towards you before you realize it’s only ever going to be me.”
He lifted one hand from your cheek to carress your hair, those glossy doe eyes pulling you in and tugging at the invisible strings on your limbs and heart.
“How many times must I prove my love to you?”
This wasn’t love. It couldn’t be.
It felt like something much stronger. Much too different. Your love for Eunji had never felt this overwhelming. It never felt like you were being lulled to a perfect sleep, just to be suddenly plunged into a free fall. This didn’t feel anything like a secret held close to your chest, your heart skipping a beat everytime you used to see her even when you’d already seen her three times before that day. How giddy you felt at her accidental touches. How much you seemed to please her and never wanted to see her in pain. How easily it came to you to want to fix all her minor inconveniences.
No, this felt nothing like that. It wasn’t a secret. It didn’t allow itself to be. It was too loud. Too ugly. Whatever you had felt for Eunji, it felt five times more heightened with Jungkook. His presence felt like too much yet like there was never enough of it to actually violate you. It fit you in a way you were so frightened to admit. He had taken a piece of you that you never agreed on giving him. Yet it was that very foreign feeling that had you craving him in moments you shouldn’t have. In nearly all hours of a day. You were frightened at what you had been feeling these past two weeks sharing his space. Completely terrified at what he had managed to make you feel for him in such little time.
Even now, he felt so familiar yet so untouchable.
“This isn’t love.” You replied back in a broken whisper. It was mistake and you realized it quickly but it was too late to take it back. You blamed your overly emotional state for the thoughtless response.
A few beats of silence passed with only your uneven breaths filling the room. Jungkook continued to caress your hair before the corners of his lips twitched. An almost sad small appearing on them.
“Fine.” Another few beats of silence. The heavy air lingered.
You licked your dry lips as he retrieved his hand completely from you. Your eyes tracked the movement before they landed on the unreadable look on his face.
“ If you think I’m such a monster, I promise I will show you how easily I can make that come true for you. ” He stated lowly, dark eyes taking in your features again. “And it will make everything else I’ve done pale in comparison.”
His words sink in.
You hadn’t wanted that all and you don’t think you’ve ever heard him sound so disturbed. It rattled you to the core. You jumped forward to try and salvage what was left of the ruin you may have caused yourself and others.
“Jungkook n-no. I don’t want that. I don’t think that of you.” Breathlessly you pleaded with him. Not even a minute ago you wanted to rid yourself of his touch on you and now you were bringing your own hands to his face. The roles reversing with haste.
“But you just said it, baby. You don’t think this is love.” His sharp look was not budging. “What choice do you leave me if you won’t even believe my feelings for you after everything I’ve done? I’ll have to make you see it, one way or another.”
One way or another. That could mean so many things for someone like him and you didn’t want to find out which method he’d try out first.
“I-I do believe them. I don’t know why I said that.”
“Don’t lie to me.” He said with a disillusioned look and clasped your wrists. “For the third time tonight.”
Your fingers run down his cheeks as you as you near your face to his again.
“I’m not! I’m sorry. I’m sorry but please don’t do anything. I’m begging you, please.” It was pathetic . You were pathetic but you suppose you had already lost your dignity a long time ago. There wasn’t much else to lose and you weren’t sure you’d ever manage to have a spine when it came to the boy in front of you.
He eyed you.
“What it is it that you’re so afraid I’ll do?” He muttered, his breath once again warm against your lips.
You frowned. It was a trick question, wasn’t it? Was he genuinely asking you?
“I just don’t want you to hurt anyone.” You stressed, your fingers trembled terribly against his cheeks.
You felt his thumbs brushing the inside of your wrists in a circular motion gently. The soft action wasn’t to fully soothe you but it did distract you for split second.
“Anyone?” Jungkook asked lowly. It stumped you a bit. You tried to find some clarity in his fixed look but it didn’t display much of anything. In fact, you swore his eyes were inviting you to some sort of challenge.
So you simply nodded in response.
“Hm.” He hummed, his upper lip lifting slightly before he nodded back.
Was he agreeing with you?
You let out the smallest sigh of relief. It probably looked pained.
His hands then fully clasped your wrists and he stood up without warning. The force of it dragged you up with him due to his locked grip. He tugged you against him as he made his way down the hallway. You kept quiet, already starting to feel your body weight itself down like it usually did when your panic attack lost its strength. The numbness traveled through your every muscle. Jungkook had released your wrists and instead guided you by the shoulder with your body remaining pressed into his chest.
He opened the bedroom door and guided you towards the bathroom. The unease in your stomach had not left but it was easier to ignore with how heavy your eyelids felt. You felt him suddenly leave your side and brush past you to go turn on the shower. You caught a glimpse of yourself on the large mirror above the black vanity sink . The teary gaze and snot dripping from your nose. Your wet cheeks and swollen eyes. Your gaze accidentally caught sight of Jungkook while he slid open the shower door. His stare was hollow.
A look you don’t remember ever seeing on him before.
You looked away, unsure of what to make of it. When he approached you again, you didn’t protest as he stripped you both down. Once in the shower, you kept your back to him and fully faced the shower head that washed away any lingering nerves. You couldn’t help but zoom in on the ombré ceramic tile design in front of you as your mind drifted off again. Jungkook’s hands massaged your shoulders gently as he ran the loofa down your back. The act was intimate and normal. But your thoughts didn’t let you rest for the remainder of the night. Not even when you were both in bed, tucked under the soft warm sheets. Not even when he cuddled beside you, rubbing your back continuously and you listened his steady breathing.
The normalcy of it all didn’t break your trance because you were still thinking of the look Jungkook had given you. The daring glint in his eyes masking the seething nature. The vacant look you caught of him in the mirror.
Something wasn’t right.
It was ache in your shoulders that woke you.The soft gel pillow underneath your cheek felt wet and you inwardly cursed and wiped your mouth.You thought you had dropped drooling months ago. You had yet to open your eyes, wanting to stay this oblivious and at peace before a certain reality hit you. It took a few seconds for the disorientation to fade away as you slowly blinked up at the familiar white ceiling with the recessed lighting now completely shut off due to the natural sunlight illuminating the space.
You lifted your head and let out a soft groan at the stiffness in your muscles.
It was quiet.
The memories of last night came flooding back in rapidly and your stomach churned at them. You pushed them away as much as you could. If only it had been a nightmare. How much you wished it had never happened and how much you wished you hadn’t walked out the door yesterday. At this point, you weren’t sure if you cared about if what Eunji had said was true or not. If anything, it had left you even more puzzled about everything. Both of them had played you in one way or another. It seemed like they were taking turns, tugging on each of your arms in complete opposite directions.
You craned your neck and looked around the empty room. Jungkook wasn’t in bed but he usually wasn’t, he had made it a habit to cook breakfast before you woke.
Flinging your feet to the side , you climbed off the bed and made your way out the door and into the hallway. You could smell coffee and hear shuffling. When you made into the living room you came to a halt upon seeing Jungkook in the kitchen like you expected. He seemed to be chopping something on the cutting board, a tomato maybe.
“Morning, baby.” He greeted you with a warm smile when he noticed you. He was dressed in casual pajama pants with an oversized black t-shirt. His hair was messy, clearly he’d not bothered to touch it yet but it made him look more endearing.
“Morning.” You reply with a small smile of your own despite the shake in your voice. He was acting like nothing had happened and you didn’t know if you should feel immense relief at that or not. It didn’t feel natural but you could very well be making something out of nothing. As you approach him though, your eyeline shifts to the floor and instantly a realization hits you.
Your eyebrows knit together as your eyes search the ground and walk towards the same spot you were last night.
“What it is it?” Jungkook asks when you fail to find what you’re looking for. You glance up at him, his curious gaze had followed yours to the floor.
“M-My phone. I dropped it last night. Did you see it?”
“Oh that.” He returns to pouring orange juice into a glass, the eggs on the stove sizzling behind him. “ I have it.”
You blink in confusion but try to conceal it.
“Oh.” You swallow. “Can you give it to me?”
Jungkook meets your gaze and slides over the glass of orange juice to you. You thank him quietly before taking a seat on the tall stool of the island.
“And why would I do that?” Your in the midst of taking a sip of the juice when he says it so you snort a little into the glass, assuming he’s joking for a split second.
But you notice the raise of his eyebrow, eyeing your movements as he awaits your response.
Tensing, you put the glass down and frown.
“Um,” You don’t even know what to say. “Well, because I need it.”
It came out more so like a question when you had intended it to sound like a firm reply. Jungkook notices your poor attempt as well, a smirk threatening to spread his lips.
“For what? To text another library boy?” He placed both his hands on the counter, leaning foward. He wasn’t that close but you fought the urge to lean back. His eyes narrowed into slits as bit the inside of his cheek.
His words make your mouth dry despite the juice you had just taken a sip of. Apparently the disturbed thoughts that had haunted you all night might’ve had some validity.
Yet this didn’t shock you any less.
But what did you think was going to happen? You had ignored all the warnings. Jungkook’s jealous side was something you never wanted to witness again and you had feeling you were only scratching the surface.
“Jungkook, I didn’t do anything. I was only trying to let him off easily. I-I wasn’t looking for anything else. I already explained this last night . I felt bad for what you had threatened him with when we weren’t even together.” It wasn’t a lie but you knew it didn’t matter by the way his expression didn’t budge one bit. Whatever innocent crush you had felt for Hoseok was long gone. Not only due to the sheer embarrassment that had occurred that no doubt had left him with the worst impression of you but you were not willing to put him in Jungkook’s radar again. You deeply regretted ever texting him at all.
It was too late to try to explain anything to Hoseok anyway. Even if you ever got him alone again you were sure he’d run the opposite direction at just your mere sight. He probably thought you were crazy.
This was crazy.
“I’m confused.” Jungkook’s scrutinizing gaze trapped you in place. “You said you didn’t want me to hurt anyone.”
“I-what?”
“You said you didn’t want me to hurt anyone.” He repeats lowly.
“I-I don’t-”
“Good. And I won’t as long as you stay in line.” He shrugs as if he’s discussing the weather and not the confiscation of your phone.
“But I need my phone, I need to text my parents.”
“I already did. They’re fine.” He gives you a tight-lipped smile but you could see how much he was trying to control the rage that traveled through him. The tightness of his grip on the edges of his counter, the veins on his hands and arms popping out slightly.
“Those petty excuses won’t work on me. You can only blame yourself as to why I don’t trust you anymore baby.” His eyes trailed down you. “Did you really think I’d be okay with you texting other men or anyone who shows interest in you for that matter?”
You looked away from him.
“No! That’s not what it was like.” You sputtered, feeling that sense of guilt invade you once again.
You heard him scoff.
“Have I been too nice, baby? I have, haven’t I? Because I don’t know what gave the impression that you could ever run back to that bitch or flirt with others to ‘let them down easy’ and think I would sit back and watch like your little lap dog.”
You watched his controlled breathing, afraid to make the slightest move that could set him off.
Deciding not to reply , you simply watched him and hoped he’d gather himself but your silence seemed to only edge him further because he pulled a hand away from the counter and reached over to take your glass away. You saw him twirl it around in his hand, your gaze fully lifting to meet his due to the unexpected action and he glared at you as he took a sip from it.
“Did you know he had a sister? Your little library boy.” He clarifies as he swallows, setting the glass back down. “She just got married. Would be a shame if a pair of newly weds suffered an unfortunate accident…or any other type of terrible luck.”
You were completely floored by his words. A full body chill running through you. You wished you had heard him wrong but the way he studied you expectedly made it all too real.
Were you that surprised though? How could you be? It wasn’t the first time Jungkook had made these sort of malicious threats. It was the very thing he had done when he had gotten you alone for the first time. There was no limits for the wealthy and well-read.
What really struck you was how and why he would go as far to involve completely innocent people that had no connection to either of you and exactly how long he had known about this? Had he accessed your private texts recently or had known of them for a while now? If it was the latter that would mean he has deliberately let you text Hoseok up until yesterday. Why had he waited that long? Why didn’t he confront you about it immediately?
Given your frantic state last night, you hadn’t even thought about the possibility. You had thought his actions were impulsive and reckless, that he had find out about the texts when he had tracked your location. But that didn’t make sense , did it? Because then why did Jungkook already know so much about Hoseok’s family? It was unlikely for even him to acquire this type of information overnight . Your stomach sunk at the knowledge that you really had underestimated Jungkook again. Because this suddenly didn’t seem like a simple impulsive act of jealousy. It seemed much more calculating
“Leave them alone, Jungkook. Please don’t involve anyone else into this. I’m begging you.” You spoke gently despite the mounting fear of upsetting him with one wrong word.
“I didn’t involve anyone , baby. You did.” He replied just as gently. It felt demeaning but the side of you that had began to cater to him thought he might’ve had a point.
“Okay.” You nodded. “Okay I did, I’m sorry. You don’t have to worry about it. You told him to block me, there’s nothing to worry about.”
He pushed himself away fully from the counter and came up beside you. He gave you back your glass of juice. He seemed much taller from this sitting angle and you watched him carefully as he played with your necklace. His necklace.
“You’ll have plenty of time to show me just how sorry you are, baby.” He mumbled to you as if he was granting you a token of consideration. Running his hands across the butterfly pendant.
“Because I’ve also withdrawn your college transfer. It really did pain me to do, I don’t like seeing you upset.” You looked up at him wide eyed and tried to process what he was saying.”But it pains me even more that you were so willing to discard me and what I felt after all I’ve done is love you.”
That rage was brewing behind his dark eyes. You realize now that it had never left, only fooled you into thinking he would bend to your will.
Discard him? What was he talking about? There was more than just insecurity behind those words. You could see the clear trigger in his entire demeanor. It was as if he was hell-bent on punishing you for something you never did.
“J-Jungkook please, I have classes I need to finish . I can’t drop out. My parents, they will-”
“Shhh, it’s temporary.” He halts your rambling with with a squeeze to your shoulder. “I can get a word in to enroll you next semester or whenever I see fit.”
That didn’t make you feel better but held back any protests.
“It’s all up to you really. It’s up you to show me when I can trust you again.” He leaned down to give you a kiss on the top of your head before brushing past you and walking back over towards the opposite side again.
“Now let’s eat, I made your favorite. I hope you like it.”
You watch him turn off the stove and you were a little surprised not anything was burnt. You let him plate the breakfast without uttering a word because all that was running through your head was how stupid you were for ever letting him take care of the transfer. You had paid a much bigger price than you thought. Jungkook was no longer satisfied enough knowing he had your body and compliance. He wanted every bit of you.
Because you suspected what had truly scared him last night.
The thought of someone else taking your mind and heart away from what he thought was already his. For what he worked so hard for. He didn’t want to share any side of you. He was frightened of what threat Hoseok and Eunji had both posed against him. He had you physically but it was breaking him inside that he didn’t have you fully yet. Mind and soul.
That was it, wasn’t it?
He wanted to frighten you and push the limits. Show a new face. A new side. Because nobody really could save you from him except himself.
He was going to show you what a mistake you made not choosing the correct mask.
As the weeks had gone by, you had grown more disillusioned with the hope of returning to college.
During the first week, Jungkook had not seem to be wavering on his decision no matter how much you had indirectly pleaded with him. It had been made clear that you wouldn’t get far with your methods to suck up to him in the way you had.
While he welcomed your touch and over enthusiastic displays of affection, he had only been entertaining the idea of it. It had reminded you of the time he’d seen right through your performance at the cafe but unlike then, this time he had not stopped or called you out right away.
He watched how far you’d go.
And you had gone far.
By the second week you had begin to simply cater to his every need. Waking up to cook breakfast for him instead for a change, not bothering him while he worked in his office and also cooking dinner. Then you moved on to displaying more physical attention, initiating kisses and prolonging hugs despite your racing heartbeat at the closeness. You surprisingly grew so used to it that it almost began to do on instinct. Due to spacing it out through the weeks, you had thought you’d made progress .
It was not too much all at once like your previous mistake.
Your feelings were also not entirely fabricated this time which made it more dangerous. Your attachment to Jungkook had been growing as a result of the isolation he had caused you. It had already been the case before the incident and now it only grew stronger despite your efforts to keep a level head.
But you had grown desperate when the pressuring reality hit you each night of what your parents would think of you slacking off and what it could mean to not have any future planned out. To have wasted all their efforts and money just for a stupid mistake on your part. You had not been able to even access your bank account since you had been left with no phone and you had not dared ask to burrow Jungkook’s MacBook yet in order to not draw any unnecessary attention.
You thought you could gain it all back and that you had not just tried hard enough.
However, the incident that occurred the very night you exhausted your last efforts had been a horrid and rookie mistake. It was your first and only strike up until now and the memory served as a reminder to not tread in murky waters.
~~
You waited for Jungkook’s reaction as he took the first bite. Gripping your own chopsticks tightly, you eyed the meal you had spent nearly two hours preparing, making sure you had perfected it to his liking. He nodded immediately, his doe eyes twinkling.
“It’s amazing baby.” He said in between bites, eyebrows scrunched together. “Really amazing.”
A soft sigh of relief leaves you, a smile spreading your lips.
“I was nervous, I’ve never cooked this before.” You explained, licking your lips. “I’m not much a cook though, my mom used to complain about it when I was younger.”
Jungkook hummed in response as he took another bite.
“My dad used to bake with me often though. I think I’m better at that.” The casual comment was meant to invoke the memory of the Christmas you spent with him but you aren’t sure if you succeed because his eyes drift over to center of the table.
“Are you wearing the perfume I gave you?” He asks, pulling you away from your focused script.
“Huh?” You ask then nod. “Oh y-yeah. I love it.”
He had given you a new perfume as a gift a few days ago. It was a pleasant warm rose and musk smell. The gesture came seemingly out of nowhere but the more optimistic side of you thought it maybe was due to him feeling guilty for leaving you alone here the few times he went to his father’s company for work. It would only be a couple of hours but hours felt like days when there was nothing but yourself to keep you sane.
He had not physically locked you in here. Not that you think he could anyway. But he had other ways of keeping you here, the key card he had previously let you borrow had now been revoked. He carried it with him at all times and if there was a spare one, you had not found it yet. Of course, you could physically leave and walk out but with no key, you would be forced to hang around the lobby until he came back. You were also not that dumb to try and venture off without your phone. It created too many obstacles in your head, you could get lost or something could happen to you and you wouldn’t be able to call for help. He must’ve of known that well and now that you thought it over, that was likely his main goal despite the jealousy tantrum he had tried to sell you.
Not that the jealousy had been act. You’d seen the vicious green-eyed monster take over him.
But admittedly Jungkook had already hacked your phone before. There was nothing stopping him from doing it again. Taking away your phone was a way of keeping tabs on you in another way. You felt stupid you didn’t realize it sooner though.
“I like it.” His eyes trail over you.
“Thanks. Me too.” You nod, coming to smell your wrist. “Guess you know my taste well.”
He half grins at that.
“I-I was saying that my dad used bake with me on holidays and it made me remember what my mom told me last time I talked to her.” You try to steer the conversation back.
That peaked his interest.
“What did she say?” He asked, taking a tip of his white wine.
“She said my dad had lost his job but she assured me he would find a new one soon since he’d already applied to another warehouse.”
He nods slowly urging you to continue.
“But it just makes me feel really guilty that I’m sitting here doing nothing all day while they’re working all day to….support my education. My parents are getting older.” You bit your lip, the actual guilt really hit you for a moment.
Jungkook eyes you, tapping his chopsticks against the plate.
“Do you need me to send them money?”
“No! W-What? No.” You let a breathless laugh out and shook your head. “I wouldn’t ask that. I mean I feel like it’s my fault. I f-feel like I should be doing more.”
He leans back into his seat, seemingly processing your words. Your heart is ready to jump out of your chest.
You let out a sigh and you look around the space.
“You don’t know what it’s like to grow up without finacial stability and an easy way out. But this is eating me up at night. I feel responsible for my parents and I-I am disappointing them already. Even if they don’t know it yet.”
You don’t look towards him as you continue. Feeling your throat start to close up.
“I just wish you’d ..reconsider. Going to college isn’t a threat to you-to us. I already live here and I’m with you.” You explain calmly. “If you really do love me, you wouldn’t be so careless with my future. I’ve been doing everything you want me to.”
He remains silent so you decide to add to your confession.
“I-I know you don’t trust me yet and that I haven’t earned it all. But please, keeping me away from everything isn’t going to prove my trust.” Finally, you return your gaze to him and look him straight in the eye.
“You’re only making my anxiety worse.”
With a wide-eyed expression, you raised your eyebrows emphasizing your words and waited stiffly for his reply. The TV playing in the background on low volume completely drained out as you zeroed in on him.
He let out a scoff, turning his head to the side.
The little bit of confidence you had fizzled out.
“So, that’s what all this has been about.” He confirms. “You held out longer than I thought baby.”
“No, this wasn’t just about that. I do care what you think and I did enjoy cooking for you, especially your favorite food because I-I do pay attention. I just thought you’d appreciate it more if…..if.” You stumbled over your words towards the end growing frustrated at your pleas falling on deaf ears.
“Are you done?” He asked with clear impatience when he saw you didn’t continue your rambling.
The action made you halt and stop mid sentence. You weren’t sure why but the sight of his aloofness made you cower. He was making you feel so insignificant. As if everything you said was a lie. As if he were dealing with a child instead of another equal with feelings. It reminded you of how Eunji had made you feel at times and you despised it.
You despised it because of how much you cared what he thought and felt about you.
“It’s only been a couple of weeks baby.” He coaxed you with a much nicer tone when he noticed your upset reaction. “You didn’t really think you’d sway me so easily, did you?”
Maybe you did.
You slammed down your chopsticks on the table and pushed yourself out of your chair. Jungkook followed your movements as you came to stand in front of him before you kneeled down, your knees scraping against the floor.
“Jungkook please, please.” You were out of options and resorting to the most degrading one but you didn’t care. “You need to let me go back! M-My parents… I feel stuck in here! Please!”
Reaching out to tug on his hand, your fingers caught hold of his shirt and he looked slightly surprised by your actions. His eyes widened the slightest bit as he took in your frantic state and high pitched pleas.He didn’t protest when you held his right hand with both of yours.
“Please! I’ll do anything but don’t take this away. I can’t be locked in here all day! Please!”
You felt like cowering even more under his scrutinizing eyes. His expression soon morphing into one of irritation.
“Stand up baby.” He pulled his hand away from you and wrapped an arm around your shoulder to get you back on your feet. But you didn’t budge.
He snapped your name.
“Seriously, stand up.” He demanded more firmly. Looking completely annoyed now by your antics.
“What do you think you’ll gain from keeping me from going back to university ?! I have a life to return to! This won’t make things better!” You were trying everything now. Picking holes in what you thought were his plans and ideas. Trying to shatter whatever delusion had made him come to this drastic conclusion.
He let out a low curse. The chair squeaked under him as he pushed it away from the table and turned his body towards you. He dipped his head down and tugged on your loose ponytail, the action made you immediately close your mouth and shut your eyes at the stinging pain.
“You know what I think baby?” He whispered into your ear, his breath tickling your neck.
“I think you’ve become a manipulative little bitch.”
With that he stood up and left your kneeling figure on the floor. Your hands dropped on the chair he had been sitting. You his heavy footsteps down the hallway followed by the bedroom door shutting loudly. You ran a hand through your hair and held back tears at his insult. He had never expressed himself that way about you. It left an ugly wound on your heart and it triggered the undeniable people pleasing trait in you. A feeling you never wanted to feel again.
You’d thought you’d never feel worse than how you did when you found out about Eunji’s backstabbing nature but this was ultimately worse.
It felt so much worse.
Not him.
Not him too.
~~
It had been 2 months since then.
The rest of the days after that you had spent crying your eyes out til you physically felt you couldn’t anymore. You had held a grudge against him for his cruel words and he had taken notice. The weeks that had followed had been consistent of his various forms of apologies. He’d told you he hadn’t meant it and how sorry he was for using such a nasty insult towards you. Brought you back flowers everytime he’d return back from whatever errand he went to that day. Spent the night paying extra attention to you until you’d given in to his pleading large eyes that at times resembled that of a wounded boy’s.
His sweet whispers had convinced you to the point of even more intimate forms of affection, your body falling victim to his needy touches again . In a way you’d indulged in it as form of distraction yet again. Surprisingly yourself with the way you’d tightly grip the sheets, head buried into the mattress letting out encouraging whimpers at every harsh thrust. The nights had turned into the sweet escape you needed to make up for all the hours you’d spend alone. They had felt like a reward for making it through days with no complaints.
So you had given up for the time being and taken a different approach. You weren’t sure if you’d even call it that as it was more so your way of coping with the situation.
Was it? The days had started going by more quickly and at time you found yourself wondering what you were coping with exactly.
Your days were now mainly focused on new hobbies that were done in in the comfort of the apartment. You got into scrapbooking oddly enough. The idea had come to you once you rummaged through one of Jungkook’s drawers and found a kraft paper journal. Along with some stationary items you’d stolen from him, you had began to fill out the pages with different places you wanted to visit around the world. It had been something you remembered doing once when you were in middle school but you never got to finish due to running out pages on your tiny cheap notebook.
This time, you’d glued every magazine cut out, ribbon, glitter, different stickers and wrote out reasons to visit for each place. It had taken up your time along with the books you’d get Jungkook to bring you.
Comfort could help build a glorious cage.
You’d soon realized that the time here had simply brought back you’re already introverted nature and heightened it. It made way for you to indulge in all the more small things that you had always wanted but never had the luxury of having. Everything seemed much more appealing in a large space. You’d gotten to rearrange thing to your liking, growing more bold with the way you dealt with the kitchen or bathroom supplied as if they were your own. Integrating every one of your habits with Jungkook’s. Now you rarely thought twice before waking up and starting your routine. Your focus shifting to what you should bake that day, what you should read or write in your notebook, if you would scrapbook or finish a puzzle or simply lounge around and watch TV for the rest of the day.
The thoughts of your parents and responsibilities still lingered but in a more hidden spot of your brain, coming out in infrequent waves when your anxiety would also sneak it’s way through the edges.
Your anxiety.
It had been controlled every since Jungkook had come home with your refilled prescription last month. You had no idea when he had even found your empty bottle and took it upon himself to order the refill but you didn’t complain. It had eased you with its way it had you out cold nearly every night. No more heart palpitations or sweaty palms before drifting off to a fragile sleep. It didn’t rid you of it completely of course, you had your off days where it would trigger back.
The days had become more peaceful as well as Jungkook had started to spend more time at home too and taken less trips to the company. His absence was often the reason for those flare ups of anxiousness. He hadn’t had any outbursts since that dinner disaster and the one he’d had before become more of a distant dream floating further and further. That wasn’t to say he’d let his boundaries slip away. The mention of college was still a subject you hadn’t dared bring up again, neither was the one of your phone.
It was tedious to break the habit of reaching over the nightstand to pick up your phone or the sudden urge you still got to want to look at the time or check texts and emails. It had taken you the same effort to try and convince yourself you had no assignments due anymore and you didn’t need to set an alarm for anything. It had driven you nearly mad at the beginning, given your unpleasant breakdown but your mind had latched itself onto other stimulating activities to ease it.
You turned on the faucet and rinsed off your toothbrush before opening the medicine cabinet. Taking out your anxiety meds, your eyes linger on the pill bottle you’d always see. ‘Zyprexa 10 mg’.
You pick it up and unscrew the lid, counting the pills inside.
11.
They’re had been 11 pills ever since you’d first had found them in this cabinet. You didn’t know why you bothered to count them everyday. The number never changed. Jungkook was not taking them and had not been for a while. Despite the worry that piled inside you, you had not had the courage to confront him about it. Of course you didn’t know his reasoning or the details as to why he may not be taking it. You thought over the possibility of perhaps his doctor taking him off them but it was all just a part of the many excuses you’d made for him. You knew well why you wouldn’t mention them to him. The thought of an unpleasant reaction had chained you to an invisible wall.
“You’ve become a manipulative little bitch.”
The words would too often make their home inside mind, ruining your pleasant thoughts for the day.
You screwed the lid back on and tossed them back inside. After taking your meds, you walked back into the bedroom and saw Jungkook buttoning up his loose shirt. He tucked the ends inside his well-fitted pants, the work attire hugging his frame perfectly.
“I was thinking of making brownies today.” You tell him with a yawn, rubbing your eyes as you went over to him. “Or lemon bars, I haven’t decided.”
His nose scrunched up at the word ‘lemon’. It was so animated that it reminded you of a child.
“Definitely brownies, please.” You fought a grin before your eyes took in the scrapbook that was wide open on the bed.
“You’ve added a new place.” Jungkook comments, gesturing to the addition of ‘Zion’ and the breathtaking landscape pictures you had plastered all over the two large pages.
You felt a bit shy at how nosey he had been in knowing every detail of the book ever since you’d started it. It was endearing how he’d pay close attention to every page though and how he’d encouraged you to keep adding more. He had spent one day making you describe and explain why’d you chosen each place despite the small descriptions you’d already written on them. Most had been really superficial and non-interesting reasons, you just sounded like the typical tourist. He didn’t mind though, he had rested his head on your shoulder and listened while making sly comments.
That day he’d also promised you he’d take you to every one. You’d nearly laughed in his face but he had not broken a single smile. He had been dead serious. He claimed that at least but he seemed to know why you’d find that hard to believe given the circumstances he’d put you in.
“It won’t always be this way, baby.” He said with such certainty that you needed to believe him.“I’m only trying to teach you a lesson, show you what you haven’t yet realized.”
You didn’t really dwell on what he meant by that. It was obvious enough he’d done this to get back at you but what exactly had you not realized yet? You weren’t sure. In your perspective, his motives seem to be the same as they always did.
To keep you at his side.
“I think it’s really cool. I remember looking up pictures of it one time.”
“It looks amazing, I don’t think I’ve ever visited anywhere like that.” His gaze then returned to you as he motioned for you to get closer.
You held back a gasp when he grasped your waist and pulled you into his chest, your feet lifting off the floor for a second.
“I have a surprise for you.” He muffled into your neck, pressing his lips to your skin. “God I love this smell on you.”
It was his own perfume he had gifted you a while back and you almost called out the arrogant comment but you only let out a scoff instead.
“A surprise?” Your heart had skipped a beat but you scolded yourself to remain calm. To not get your hopes up for something too grandeur. Jungkook had made it clear you had not yet earned his full trust .The path was unclear but it was considerably still long.
And that meant you couldn’t have earned your phone back.
“Have you ever been here?” You turned when you felt the loss of contact on your neck and looked down to what he had pulled from behind him. He held two tickets in his hand, your eyed read over the famous name of the theme park.
“No.” Your eyed widened as you took the tickets in your hand. “The prices were always too out of my budget.”
The popular theme park was a known tourist attraction in this city. It was the largest in the country and you had been hoping you would get to visit it when you had first moved here for college but the money would never add up. Your funds would barely cover your food expenses at times and it left little room for much else.
It felt like you had a golden ticket in your hand, a full smile broke out on your face.
“Are we really going?” You face him, the tiniest bit of doubt seeping through your tone. The slightest bit of possibility of this being some kind of test or joke had slithered it’s way into you.
Jungkook looked almost offended by the question. His eyes boring into you as he let out a short laugh.
“Of course we are baby, that’s why I bought them.” He tells you, kissing your cheek. “You’ve been such a good girl lately, you deserve it.”
You were going out.
You would be outside again and at one of the most whimsical theme parks to exist.
“And if you keep it up,” He says into your ear, fingers tracing down the edge of your shoulder.“Things might start going back to the way they were.”
His implication was clear. If you stayed in his good graces, you’d eventually get your phone back and even your college transfer back. Your future back. The freedom back.
“Really?” Your eyes tried to search for the bluff. The teasing. Anything. But it didn’t surface. He nodded and smirked at your reaction, laying another kiss to your temple.
Had that been the lesson?
He had given these things so easily and he wanted to show you how easily he had been able to snatch it right back. If you had thought had been walking on eggshells with him before, that had been nothing compared to these past weeks, months.
That was the key to the lock wasn’t it? Had that been it all this time? If you had wanted to go back to the way things were, Jungkook had to see your mind and devotion shift completely towards him. Truly towards him. Not in the way you thought it looked like it would please him. He had made it happen gradually, organically even.
But the pressing question stood.
Did you want to go things to go back to how they were?
Yes. But not so much that it hurt you if they didn’t. Like you thought it would. Like it had hurt the first few weeks.
That in itself meant you were running out of time.
Because you shouldn’t want things to go back to the way they were.
You should want to completely get rid of Jungkook and his insanity. You should want to figure out a way to escape his blackmail and invisible cage. You should want to never turn back.
But it seemed to be too late.
Because all you had been thinking about these days were how much you studied his every move, how much you had memorized every blemish or insignificant mole on his back while you drifted off to sleep. How often he’d pout his lips unknowingly when you weren’t paying attention. How much you’d wish to smooth out the crease between his eyebrows just once and be able to look at him with as much love as he looked at you.
You’d analyzed his every move, afraid of what was next but in the process you questioned why you had also memorized his every habit. His favorite foods and snacks, how surprisingly tidy he was about his closet and clothes. How normal he seemed despite the dark secrets and intentions that boiled inside him.
Because the more you stayed in his home, the more you had started forgetting what your life was before it and why those starry brown eyes seemed far more enticing than the filthy walls of a motel or the familiar humble structure of your parent’s home.
From the moment you entered the park, you felt your spirits go up. You didn’t know if was purely the fact that you were finally getting fresh air or that you were actually looking forward to seeing everything inside. It was jaw dropping from the get-go. You were sure your fascination came from never really attending these types of attractions as a child or teenager but this one experience seemed to make up for all of it.
During the drive here you had mentioned to Jungkook that you wanted to take pictures of everything. It was a subtle hint towards your phone but in reality you weren’t expecting him to give in to you even for that use of it. You were right of course, he brushed it off saying you could use his instead.
You gave Jungkook’s hand a squeeze when you spotted the growing crowds as you neared the some of the restaurants and rides but he gave you an assuring smile.
“You’re fine.” He tugged you into his side, the breeze felt nice on your skin.
You repeated his words in your head as you focused your attention more towards all the tall rides and characters that wandered around the area dressed from well-known fables. A small giggle leaving your lips at some of the costumes they wore. They looked ridiculously cute.
The next hour consisted of you practically dragging him around and pointing to all the types of junk food that you wanted to try. The first victim was the Fairy themed milkshakes located in the Medieval village zone. They were a baby pink and blue infusion with edible glitter sprinkled on the top of the whipped cream.
“They look so good.” You mumbled to Jungkook as you two waited for your order in front of the small stand that was shaped like a tree bark. The decorations were impressive, the led lights layered around the plastic leaves flickered but it was hard to notice them in broad daylight.
“It looks like it tastes like a bag of sour candy.” He mused, playing with the ends of your hair.
“That would taste good.”
He smiled fondly at that, laying a soft kiss on your forehead before he heard the order being called out. His delicate touch were the ones that always sent the most shivers through your body.
He brought back the obnoxious drink and you wasted no time in taking a sip. The flavor was not as strong as you thought, it tasted almost like marshmallow but with a fruity aftertaste.
“Mmm.” You exclaimed sipping more. “Try it.”
He threw out his gum that he had been chewing and took a reluctant sip of it. You watched as he smacked his lips together, making a distasteful face.
“Oh baby,” He handed you back the shake with a shake of his head. “That’s fucking awful.”
What? It had not been that bad even if it wasn’t to someone’s liking. You wanted to roll your eyes at his dramatics.
“No it’s not!” You gaped at him, taking another sip. It tasted perfect to you. “It’s probably because of your gum.”
“Sure.” He said unconvincingly before guiding you both back towards the next destination on the theme park map.
The next victims included a corn dog, some type of corn soup and an abnormal sized cookie. All delicious to you but it had not been such a good idea to eat them all at once and then begin to go on the rides. Time was passing a lot quicker than you hoped and every stop you’d make to take a picture seemed to take longer with crowds of people waiting behind you to take the exact same one. In the exactly same pose.
The sun was setting and your legs had been started to burn now but you tried your best to ignore them. Thankfully, your anxiousness had not surfaced too much today. You thought over how it would’ve been a very different story if you hadn’t been able to take your meds again. It would’ve likely made it impossible for you to make it five minutes in here , let alone half the day.
Your eyes observed as Jungkook took a picture of one of the brightly lit canoe rides under a bridge with a boyish grin on his face despite the contrasting appearance of his dark attire and inked sleeves.
If only the people around you knew how quickly he could turn it off and on. Not even the almost grudge type style could truly ever match how cynical he could be if he chose to. It was anything but a font.
Yet you almost felt required to conceal that part of him from others. A feeling of protectiveness over how they’d perceive him or judge him.
It was silly considering the average pedestrian had more to fear of him than him of them but of course feelings never took the logical route.
“Did you come here a lot growing up?” You asked him as he snapped a last photo and handed over his phone to you. You had been the one carrying it around mostly due to him growing tired of you asking for it every second you saw something that peaked your interest.
“Twice. I loved the fast rides mostly.” He replied and you remembered how he had not stopped insisting you both get on the giant anchor ride. The sight of the swinging ship was a little off-putting to say the least but you weren’t completely against the idea. You had already been on a couple of the smaller rides in the park, like the spinning seashell ride that had you almost tasting the donut you’d ate before getting on.
You stared down at his phone screen, his home screen lit up and unsurprisingly his background was now a picture of you two standing at the very entrance of the theme park with the jumbo size sign behind you.
It was weird to look at because of how natural you both looked in it. His hand wrapped around your shoulder, a grin on his face and you had placed a hand on his chest.You tried to find an indication that this looked like anything other than a normal and even corny couple picture but you didn’t find one.
Could it be that you failed to find one because that’s what it felt like when it was taken? And it was it still felt like right now.
“With your whole family?”
“Mhm.” He nodded nonchalantly as you both walked past down the sidewalk that had all the restaurants and bakery shops.“ It was mostly my mom and I though, my dad used to complain pretty early on and just let us wander the park while he sat and waited on the benches.”
“Oh.” You mumble, frowning a bit.“Did that annoy you?”
He glanced at you, seeming to think back on it.
“Not really. I don’t think I cared that much back then or noticed.” Despite the dismissive words, you couldn’t help but detect a bit of snark in his tone.
“Still, he’s your dad.” You remind him as he held the shop door open for you and you gave him a small smile before stepping inside. His hand on your back despite you guiding which direction to walk over to first.
“He is.” You hear him reply behind you.“Why the sudden curiousity about my dad baby? Do you need my entire family therapy notes?”
You grew nervous at his inquisitive tone. You had not meant to pry into his father in particular, that’s just where the conversation had fallen naturally. For the first time your intentions didn’t have much of an ulterior motive in hopes of catching him in a lie or uncovering another skeleton in his closet. It was becoming a habit to just ask him about much of anything in a way you’d ask a friend.
“I was just wondering, my parents could never take me to these kinds of things.”
You felt him look at you from the corner of your eye when you went to stand beside him to look over a pile of baseball caps and beanies on a display shelf.
“Truth is there isn’t much to say about him, good or bad. I saw him as more of a burden to me at one point more than anything.” He mutters as he lifts up a headband with mouse ears on each end and tried to put it on you before you swat his hand away.
You don’t know what to say to his passing comment. There was an urge to ask him a follow-up question to it but you decide against it.
“Look at these.” You pointed in awe at the sight of vintage themed keychains instead. The souvenir shop you were in had an European architectural style. You went to pick up a pair of tiny tea cups that had a floral pattern wrapped around the porcelain glass. “It’s all so pretty.”
The previous scenic gardens zone you had just been at had probably been your favorite place out of the whole park.Jungkook’s camera roll now full with photos of all the different colored tulips that surrounded the trail. It was one of the most popular attractions for good reason. Jungkook had followed you like a lost child when you kept speed walking towards the countless sets of floral faces.
“Pschyology,” Jungkook says as he picks up the same tea cups in your hand, inspecting them. “What made you pick it as a major?”
You give him a questioning look at the drastic subject change, tensing up a bit at thought of discussing college again considering how downhill it had gone last time you had brought it up.
“Um.” You swallow. “I’m not so sure, I felt drawn to it and it seemed like a subject I could do well in. I don’t know if that’s still true though.”
It turns out knowing your psyche and patterns so well doesn’t always save you. You felt more disconnected with it by the day.
“Is that still what you want to do?” He puts down the teacups, his fingers brushing over a set of tiny wine glasses.
“Yes. I think so.” You try not to sound too eager. It felt like such a fragile gift he could easily shatter between his fingers.
He nods.
“You don’t have to feel like you need to do it just to please your parents baby. If you have other interests , I could always open up a way for you to do them.” You aren’t sure how true that is considering he had already snatched your future away so easily until he saw fit to give it back. Who was to say he wouldn’t do the same to anything else you wanted to do? But he sounded so genuine that you wanted to believe him.
You stay silent.
“Why did you decide to study so far away from home?” His eyes study your face.
The question catches you off guard. You brought your gaze down to the items in your hands. If you lied, he would know. You were sure of it. But if you told the truth, you feared the reaction would be not much different.
He seems to understand the meaning behind your silence. A look of realization crossing his face before his gaze hardened.
“Oh.” He says dryly. “Of course.”
You felt embarrassed by it all over again. You’d already tortured yourself enough for your dumb decision when it had come to Eunji.
“At least I have one thing to thank her for then.” He grasps your chin, a small smile playing on his lips before he gives you a firm kiss. His hand wraps around your neck as he pushes you further into him.
You feel yourself melting away, your lips parting slightly allowing his tongue to slip inside. Despite the intensity, the kiss feels playful with the feeling of his other hand pinching your sides and making you yelp.
“J-Jungkook!” You hiss in a low whisper, pulling away. You glance around to make sure nobody is watching you. It always seemed mortifying to you for strangers to witness those intimate displays.
He laughed in response, walking past you to seemingly go look at something else. You felt a little breathless and your face was for sure looking flushed.
A vibration in your hand made you look down.
Jungkook’s phone had received a notification. You snuck a glance at him to make sure he wasn’t looking your direction before unlocking it. If he had a passcode, he had removed it for today so you could easily navigate his photo gallery.
You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about going through it but it had been impossible to with Jungkook glued to your side the entire time. Even on your bathroom breaks, he had not been careless enough to let you go in with it. Silently reaching out his hand to remove it from your grip before you’d slip inside.
However, the notification was not what you were expecting. It was a reminder for his mother’s birthday. Tomorrow.
He’d set a reminder? You fought a smile at that. It seemed thoughtful given how he expressed their less than ideal relationship nowadays.
You tapped on his calendar, mindlessly scrolling down and you didn’t even pretend to be shocked your birthday was on there as well but your eyes caught another date that caught your attention more. It was titled ‘FS’.
11-11-20
You frowned at it.
FS.
Staring at the date, you tried to figure out why it would be significant to him. It clearly wasn’t some type of appointment or meeting considering the difference in the way he had wrote those down. Had it been an anniversary? You thought back to when you had met him.He would be the type to write that day as your anniversary date. But this was a year too early. You hadn’t met him at the cafe until much later.
Your fingers froze the second you pieced it together.
FS.
First sighting.
“Baby?” Nearly dropping the phone at the sound of him behind you, you quickly exited the calendar app and turned to him just in time he closed in on you.
“You got a reminder for your mom’s birthday.” You tell gently and hand him over the phone, a crease forming in your eyebrow. “It’s tomorrow?”
He takes it and types something out.
“Yeah, she kept asking me if we would come to her birthday dinner tomorrow.” He tells you and you can’t detect any specific emotion from his tone.
“My dad isn’t going to make it to it again.” He looks like he’s about to roll his eyes.
His mother wanted you to come too?
“We should go.” You offer, looking back towards his phone. “I-I mean if you want to? She probably feels lonely.”
He looks up to meet your gaze.
“You want to go?”
Would he find that weird? You didn’t think so. He didn’t seem to mind last time she had come unexpectedly to the apartment.
“She was really nice to me.” You say recalling the memory that seemed far away now.
The corner of his mouth lifts up. Like it did whenever he found something you did cute or amusing.
“Sucking up to your mother in law already, baby?” He teased and pulled you in. It wasn’t that. Was it? You suppose you didn’t mind bonding with her a bit more. The idea didn’t sound terrible. The image of her or anyone sitting alone having dinner on their birthday made your heart shatter.
Would Jungkook have really let her spend her birthday completely alone?
“Let’s go, we still have one more ride to go on.” He tells you and your face drops.
“No, please.” You complain as he tugged you forward but then looked back at the tiny pair of teacups you had put back down.
“Heights aren’t really my thing, I’m gonna throw up all I ate.”
“Don’t be such a baby.” He gives you a cynical grin, picking up the teacup set. “Let’s pay for this first though.”
“I don’t need that.” You protest going to grab it from him but he pulls it up higher so you are unable to reach it.
“You didn’t put it down the entire time we were in here.”
You groan as he practically drags you towards the register.
—-
The restaurant was dimly lit. It was a bit far out of into the city, located in a more calm and pleasant atmosphere that was popular for its scenic views. You felt out of place the moment you stepped in. Evidently you didn’t look out of place though. Your appearance was funded by your boyfriend, your mid-length black dress probably cost more than your entire tuition. You would’ve confirmed it if Jungkook hadn’t ripped of the tag before gifting it to you a few days ago. You stared down at the Christian Louboutin red bottoms on your feet, you’d half expected them to sense your tax bracket and make you fall head first the second you put them on.
You switched the gift bag you were carrying to your less dominant hand when you went to greet Jungkook’s mother with a swift side hug. She looked lovely, you caught a quick whiff of her perfume before you pulled away. The scent was slightly familiar. She seemed ecstatic at your arrival, well you assumed her joy was mainly aimed towards her son but you didn’t mind being on the receiving end of it too. It felt like ages since you had interacted with anyone besides Jungkook.
Not that you necessarily minded it, you weren’t exactly equipped at social interactions with strangers as proven before. But in a way his mother didn’t feel like too much of a stranger like last time you saw her. There was an air of warmth that surrounded her that at times mirrored Jungkook’s.
“Happy birthday.” You say to her , digging your nails into your palm in an effort to calm your nerves. The undeniable awkwardness you carried was hard to mask.
“I’m so glad you could make it.” She said. Her hair was styled into a slick bun just like yours and you smiled at the coincidence. She looked more elegant this time around, her heavier makeup enhanced her most prominent features.
“Thank you for inviting me.”
Jungkook had been walking a few steps behind you and you saw his mother’s face lit up instantly when she spotted him over your shoulder . You turned your neck, watching a tense smile spread his lips as he hesitated to hug her. It was the most uncomfortable you had never seen him. As a matter of fact, it was probably the only time you had ever seen him like that.
He gave in at last, giving her a brief hug that seemed to surprise even her. Her eyes widened a bit at his short-lived contact and you wondered how long it has been since Jungkook had properly hugged his mother. Months? Years?
It seems like you weren’t the only one out of place.
You took a seat, placing his mother’s gift beside you on the floor. Your nerves kicked in at the sight of the crowded space and far too prestigious set of silverware in front of you. Jungkoook soon followed beside you, a much more relaxed look on his face now that he put some distance with his mother. The smell of his cologne hit you and it did wonders to calm your overactive senses.
It was funny to think his scent once did the exact opposite.
“You must be sad your husband couldn’t make it, I’m sorry I wish I could’ve met him too.” You commented in an attempt to break any of the awkward silence that could follow after that greeting.
It was a small fib , you weren’t sure you wanted to meet Jungkook’s father at all with the way both him and his mother had spoken about him. He seemed rather cold by their descriptions but then again, if his mother was anything like Jungkook, you weren’t sure she was the most reliable narrator.
You pushed the awfully rude thought away, not knowing where it came from. His mother had not been unkind to you and she didn’t seem to carry any of Jungkook’s negative traits at all.
“Ah, don’t be. My husband rarely attends birthday dinners. His business trips are something I’ve grown used to.” She responds as she looks down at the menu but sneaks a quick glance at you.
“You look even prettier than I remembered by the way, my son sure knows how to pick them.”
Your cheeks warm at her compliment.
“It hasn’t been that long since you saw me.” You hold back a laugh. It was probably the help of the makeup you had piled on to cover all the blemishes on your skin that had you appearing more vibrant.
“I’m getting old now. A few weeks feel like a decade.” She sighs and you can’t help but let out a laugh this time. Jungkook is silent , looking engrossed in the menu.
“You’re not old at all. You look great.” You reassured her and decide to finally start paying attention to the menu as well. However, seeing the prices made you nearly cringe.
You sneaked a glance back at his mother and then towards Jungkook. You chewed on your bottom lip as an unpleasant thought occured to you. It didn’t seem like his mother suspected you weren’t from the same background as Jungkook but what if she did? If she knew you couldn’t afford any of this, not even what you were wearing from head to toe, would she assume something different from you?
Thinking back to your previous interaction with her at his apartment, his mother didn’t really seem like the type. She had not questioned your family or background at all. She only seemed interested in you and what you meant for her son. You buried the thought away despite the feeling of embarrassment at the idea of her somehow knowing he had basically began to financially support your entire life. Among other things.
“I’ll just get whatever you get.” You muttered to Jungkook, eyeing his menu.
He frowns.
“Are you sure? You should get whatever you feel like eating baby.” His words comfort you but just by glancing at the options, you realize you don’t even know what half of it means. They don’t provide much descriptions either.
Jungkook observed you and you tried to ignore the way you could feel him already grasping your issue. Him knowing you that well shouldn’t make your stomach flip the way it did.
“That one,” He gestured to the oddly named item on the left corner. “It’s a pasta. Tagliatelle with truffle sauce. It’s really good, fits your taste I think.”
“You got that from me liking the spaghetti you made the other night?”
He gives you a teasing grin and nods. “Think of it as white spaghetti.”
Swallowing you put the menu down and tap your finger against it.
“I hope your mom likes the gift.” You really had no idea what to get her so naturally you relied completely on Jungkook to choose. It was a high end handbag he had picked out, assuring you that it would be to her liking. Maybe some flowers would’ve seemed more genuine on your part but you had forgotten to ask Jungkook to stop by for them on your way here.
“She will, don’t worry.” He pecked your lips before you could scold him. The PDA would never feel comfortable to you no matter how used you were to his touch by now. Much less with his mother as the main audience this time.
“My son has always been really affectionate. Straight out the womb, he was such a cuddly child.” His mother watched you fondly, her hands now clasped in front of her. “You two seem to match so well .”
“Yes, you mentioned he was clingy.” You blurt out before you realized what you said. It sounded a bit rude.
“I mean, as a child.” You clarify and watch Jungkook raised both his eyebrows as he took a sip of his water. He seemed unbothered by the comment thankfully.
“Yes, he was.” His mother chuckled at you.
At least they have a sense of humor. Must run in the family.
“What I mean is, I’m glad that side of him is back. I hadn’t seen it in a long time.” She explains with a more glum tone.
“And who’s fault is that?” You hear Jungkook remark.
His mother’s expression visibly falls. Her smile remained but she lowered her gaze, avoiding his eyes.
“Jungkook.” You whisper to him with an imploring look.
Instantly you feel a sense of not only embarrassment for her but deep empathy. She seemed so happy just moments ago. It was her birthday and that made it all much worse. While you knew Jungkook was far from fully reconciling with his mother, you had assumed he was on the right path at least. His mother himself had hinted at it. You had expected him to not make snide remarks at the very least.
Thankfully the waiter comes to take the orders before any of you can utter another word. You bite your nails nervously and look towards Jungkook for help in pronouncing the pasta meal. He struggles with it too but plays it off better than you would’ve. The pinch between his eyebrows was amusing and he gives your shoulder a squeeze when he notices your inability to keep a straight face.
Once the waiter leaves, you don’t know what to say to make things better. You don’t know his mother well enough to offer any sort of distraction but you wanted to lighten the mood at all costs. You never did well this sort of pressuring atmosphere, you feared you’d start to feel claustrophobic soon if something didn’t distract you too.
“Lots of children tend to be clingy I think.” You look between her and Jungkook. He gives you a thoughtful look, resting his head on the palm of his hand “But it usually fades out one way or another.”
It was a weak attempt.
“Yes, I guess that’s true.” His mother replied softly seeming to appreciate it nonetheless.
“Did you always want to be a lawyer?” Changing the subject might be for the best.
She goes on go explain that she didn’t at first and thought she’d end up becoming an interior designer due to her fascination with art when she was younger. But she ultimately decided to go to law school because her parents thought she’d strive there and have a more successful career overall. They had been right of course, she had been a top student. She claims it was hard and one of the worst experiences in her life was attending those first days of law school along with the bar exam despite her success.
You listen to her intently, nodding along to her ramblings that at moments remind you of your own. Her mannerisms continue to remind you of her son though, the resemblance still as uncanny as ever.
The food eventually arrives and that’s when you look over at Jungkook. He doesn’t seem particularly interested in what his mother is saying and you assume it’s because he must’ve already heard it countless of times before.
“What about you? I heard you’re a psychology student.” His mother questions, cutting into her steak.
You pause, your eyes slowly trailing towards Jungkook who has sharpened his gaze. But his glare is directed at his mother first before it lands on you.
A warning sits behind his eyes.
“Y-Yeah. I’m just sorta taking a short break right now.”
Take the shake of your voice. You wanted to smack yourself for having such thin skin and the complete opposite of a poker face.
“Really? Oh that’s good. I hope you find a nice career in psychology. You seem like a very smart girl.” You smile at her words.
I thought I was until I met your son. The words sat on the tip of your tongue.
“She is.” Jungkook confirms with a nod, stabbing the fork harshly into the piece of meat on his place. He raised an eyebrow at his mother. “She doesn’t need a career to prove that.”
His mother smiles, oblivious to what those words really mean for you. She swallowed her bite and looks between the two of you.
“She doesn’t but I’m sure that’s what she wants if she’s in college.”
“Mm” Jungkook muses, holding up the piece of steak on his fork as if to inspect it. “Sure, she can get a degree but I expect to take care of my wife so there’s not a need for her to stress over it.”
Wife.
A cough leaves you upon hearing that. You tried to chew down the pasta you were sure had just gotten stuck in your throat. Blinking away the tears forming, you reach over to take a sip of water.
“Oh?” His mother eyes your actions, a bit perplexed. “I suspected you two were already serious but I didn’t know marriage was already on the table. I’m glad.”
You clear your throat and wipe away your watery eyes.
“I-I,”You gape at Jungkook but he ignores you , still looking towards his mother. “Sorry I wasn’t expecting him to say that either.”
“Eventually we will. Maybe sooner rather than later.” He shrugs, bringing the fork to his mouth and chewing down the steak. “ That’s the goal isn’t it? What’s so shocking about it?”
Staring down at your plate, you swore you feel the room spin for a split second.
“No! It’s not shocking at all. I always knew you’d want to marry once you found the right person.” His mother beams, sounding much more pleased by the idea the more she talked. All her previous bewilderment gone.
“I think I’d need to mention that to my parents first.” You express and send Jungkook a puzzled look.
Your parents.
The thought of them receiving the news of you in such a serious relationship that talks of marriage were already in the air made you squirm. You had barely even admitted to having crushes back when you lived with them, let alone someone close to a fiancé. A stupidly foolish part of you at one point had fantasied about that person you’d bring home to them would be Eunji.
Eunji.
You blocked her image out entirely, aggressively burying it away.
“I think it’s time for you to let me meet them then.” He throws back in a sickeningly sweet stone that silenced you with ease.
The last thing you wanted was Jungkook within any close distance of your parents. Not with everything he had against you. He might be the only man who’s ever had your heart ache terribly like this but he was could also become the man from your worst nightmares at one wrong move . To have him face to face with the people he’d swore he’d show your darkest secrets to if you didn’t comply was something you weren’t sure you could handle yet. The very thought of it made a wave of nausea hit you. It would be such a vulnerable position.
Even though it felt like years rather than months since that video had been taped, you knew that in itself meant you had distanced yourself from it so much that a part of you felt like it never existed. That Jungkook had never done that.
That your entire relationship with him wasn’t built on lies and deceit.
The reality was too hard to face because your heart was insisting you’d give in entirely to it’s desires.
Your true desires.
And you felt like you already had.
“You haven’t met her parents?” His mother gathers your attention again. Her question lingered in the air for a few seconds before you took it in.
“Uh, no. Not yet. They don’t live close by.” You hope the excuse sounds convincing enough with your overly wide smile.
“Ah.” She nods understandably. “I hope they can meet him soon. I’d also like to meet the parents of such a lovely girl.”
“Yes, hopefully.” Twirling your fork around your plate you realize you’re not that hungry anymore.
“I didn’t see my parents much when I was in law school either and after I met my husband-”
“Excuse me, I need to use the restroom.”Jungkook announced and his mother paused mid sentence, giving him a small nod. You felt him lay a kiss on your cheek before he stood from his seat.
You watched as he walked away and disappeared into a corner.
“He gets bored easily at times.” His mother said sheepishly following your gaze.
For a second you’re tempted to ask her more about Jungkook now that the topic of conversation had shifted back to him momentarily. However, it seemed rude to try and pry about more than what you had already asked her when you had first met her. She seemed to have already over shared everything about him to you and you didn’t know if there was much else to ask. Not anything significant at least. Still you were greedy for every of untold story about him, for any of those insignificant details. Surprisingly your nosiness didn’t come from a place of pure fear this time. Your unease was accompanied with genuine concern and curiosity.
But you decided against it.It was her birthday after all. You shouldn’t risk tip toeing over a topic that could send her back to an unpleasant time period.
“I apologize for bringing you to such a crowded restaurant.” His mother says as she looks around.
The heavy murmurs and piano playing in the background fading as you focused on her.
“I know it’s not the best place for anxiety prone people. I used to hate it here too before I got used to it and fell in love with the food.” She adds with a soft laugh.
“Oh no it’s fine, really. I’ve been able to manage my anxiety a little better these days. It’s beautiful here.” You assure her and take a bite out of your food, not wanting it go to waste.
“That’s good to hear. Therapy?”
“N-No, I haven’t gone to therapy in a while. It did help me a lot though. I’m sure you know. Jungkook mentioned you also used to attend therapy regularly.” You bring your hand to your cover your mouth as you finish the bite.
You made a point to leave out the unnerving details of that story, not wanting to reveal how her son was first made aware of you. It was in fact a weird circumstance regardless if she was aware of his tendencies.
Her bright expression faltered. She stared at you for a long moment and blinked.
“Yeah.” She said after seconds of silence."Yeah, they for sure do help.”
She tilted her head to the side and focused back on her food. You notice the tiniest scrunch of her eyebrows before she sets her lips into a straight line.
That was strange.
You watch her carefully, your eyebrows furrowing as you try to decipher her reaction.
Jungkook returns a few minutes later and you plaster a smile on your face, attempting to push away the growing suspicion that settled in the pit of your stomach. The rest of the dinner goes smoothly, not anything of substance is said and Jungkook is mostly quiet. It was odd in a way to see him so closed off when it was usually you that was the silent one around people. You suppose it was due his mother’s presence being not nearly as intimidating as most people’s. Ironic considering her choice of career.
“We got you a gift.” You state the obvious once all of you had cleared your plates and a small round cake sat at the center of the table.
It had a dark chocolate spatula ribbon design on the bordes with a golden specked butterfly as the cake topper. The long wax candles placed in the middle already blown out. Your eyes had unconsciously been locked on the certain golden speckled figurine for reasons you could not begin to explain. It made you too aware of what his mother had said about the necklace.
“Jungkook picked it out so please blame him if you hate it.” You lightly joked.
“You really didn’t have to but thank you so much.” She took the gift bag from your hand, giving you a soft rub on the back when you leaned over to give her another quick hug.
You settled back into your seat and watched anxiously as she opened up the bag, shuffling through the tissue paper.
She took out the teal colored handbag and you clasped your hands together, tucking them into your chest. At first, the look in her face was unreadable as she further studied the purse. She looked in deep thought for a mere second before a smile broke out, her eyes widening.
“I-this is beautiful.” She expressed and looked over at Jungkook, you tuned to glance at him and noticed him simply watching her.
“I used to have one just like this.” You raise an eyebrow. Had Jungkook gifted her a purse she already owned? You wanted to call him out but his his mother continued.
“I lost it a long time ago. Thank you.” She told you before her gaze met her son’s again briefly. “I didn’t think you’d still remembered the exact purse.”
Looking down at the hand-bag, your eyes scanned her face before they traveled over to Jungkook’s piercing gaze. It was unflinching. He had avoided eye contact with his mother for most of the dinner but he now he seemed to be unable to look away. You couldn’t describe the way he was looking at her. His jaw was clenched but his eyes held something more.
And you swore you saw the corners of his mouth twitch so quickly that you convinced yourself it was your mind making you see things.
That same suspicion from earlier settled back into your stomach.
—-
It was stuck.
You pulled harder, letting out a huff as the bed frame legs loudly scraped against the floor tiles. Finally it moved and you slipped your head in between the small gap between it and the wall. Your hand felt for the piece of paper until you gripped the edges of it and carefully tried to scratch off the tape to not rip it apart.
Once you had it, you pushed the headboard back in place. Making sure it didn’t look slanted or out of place. Your eyes read over what you had written.
11-11-20
You were sure you would remember it without the need to write it down but you really didn’t want to put all your faith on the short term memory you possessed at the most important times. It had been the right decision because the numbers had already begun to fade when you got home that day with from the theme park. The hiding spot seemed extreme but you really knew better than to risk anything less cautious. Even more so with something that could very well be insignificant.
Jungkook didn’t tolerate secrets.
You knew that well now. Even if it was a one way street. It always would with him and you were starting to understand that, accept it even. But you didn’t know why your gut was telling you to not forget these numbers. This date. The first time Jungkook saw you in that waiting room.
But this date could be more significant in other ways.
It was a long shot. A really long shot.
And you didn’t even know why you were attempting it. You almost felt disappointment in yourself for even going behind his back again. Had you not learned your lesson? But this was innocent, wasn’t it? You were only trying to access the internet to check your bank account and emails from job offers you had applied to.
But the lie settled uncomfortably in you.
You could’ve simply asked Jungkook for his permission to use his monitor or MacBook. You were positive he wouldn’t refuse.
As long as he hovered over your shoulder while you did and you wouldn’t be able to snoop like you really wanted to.
Your thoughts threw back the harsh truth. Jungkook’s computer was the only thing you hadn’t managed to snoop through in this entire apartment. Which meant that was the closet where all his skeletons must’ve resided in. Most at least. What you were looking for exactly you didn’t know. The more you circled around the reasoning you came to conclusion that it was more so you were seeking to make sure he hadn’t done something.
Something you were terrified he’d gone through with since the second he’d made the disturbing threat.
Walking down the long corridor, you felt your heartbeat in your ears with every step. You halted in front of his office door and let your fingers close over the doorknob to pull the door open. The office didn’t look any different from how you had last seen it. You hadn’t stepped foot back inside since your last failed attempt at unlocking his computer. There was a great chance this would be your second and last failed attempt.
Stepping inside, you let the heel of your foot shut the door behind you. As you neared his desk, your eyes fell on a couple of folders and papers laid out. You pushed his chair away from his desk and took a seat on it. A paranoid thought popped into your head and you whipped your head around to check every ceiling corner of the room.
Why were you doing this? You shouldn’t be doing this.
Your hands felt sweaty clasping the mouse, the movement lighting up the screen. You gulped as you typed in the numbers from the wrinkled paper in your hand. The little loading icon that followed made your stomach churn.
You held in a gasp when the screen suddenly displayed a word document and multiple other tabs popped up.
You were in.
An unknown sensation went over you as you tried not to sit on the fact that he’d really had made that his passcode. It made your heartbeat faster than it already was.
Somehow it made you feel more guilty for doing this. You fought the urge to get up and sprint out, forgetting you had even thought of this but you stayed glued to the seat.
It took you a second to process before you read over what he had been doing before he logged off. But it was just a bunch of work documents he’d been typing out. They had his father’s company’s name on them. He had so many files too, you weren’t sure you’d be able to go through them all. You glanced over at the time on the corner of the screen, you still had plenty of time before he was supposed to be back from his errand. He had gone to drop off his car to get it detailed.
Despite that , you kept wanting to look over your shoulder at any sudden sound. You were stiff as a board as you clicked off his word document and clicked on an unnamed file. You scrolled and scrolled, your eyes trying to find something that stood out but nothing did. They all seemed work related, some even dating back to what seemed to be his college days. You moved over to his emails, squinting to read over the ones with long paragraphs. It was simply him giving detail responses to a colleague it seemed and instructions on another one. All similar subjects to his documents. Scrolling down further, you eventually came across dates that were too far back but you paused as you saw a female name on one.
A wiser woman would’ve not clicked it but your curiosity was one of your many flaws. Your eyes narrowed at the flirty message. It had also been work related and it was dated far back about more than a year ago. It seemed to be a female colleague of his and the flirtatious nature of her message had seemingly been one sided due to Jungkook’s dry response. You felt satisfied reading his lack of enthusiasm towards her, it had made you unclench your tight grip on your mouse.
Why had that made you jealous?
You let out an impatient sigh as you clicked off his emails.
What were you even thinking? He didn’t do anything.
He had been bluffing. Hoseok was fine. His family was fine. It had only been a warning and nothing more. But that gut feeling wouldn’t go away, that awful doubt rearing it’s ugly bead.
How could you be sure? You bit your nail nervously as you stared at the screen. You shakily opened the browser and went to Instagram. Logging into your account, you quickly typed in his name and easily found his profile. You weren’t sure if he had ever followed you, you hadn’t opened your instagram in a while even back when you had your phone and you couldn’t remember if you had received a notification from him. It did surprise you that he had not blocked you entirely though.
You looked through his page. It was filled with the typical selfies and artistic photos but that wasn’t what you were looking for. Your eyes landed on his profile icon, the pink and orange lining around it. Holding your breath you clicked on his story . The first slide was a picture of a sunset he had taken somewhere. He was sitting down with a paper cup in his hand.
The next slide made your heart sink.
It was a black screen with two prayer emojis on the center and your eyes quickly read over the caption underneath it.
‘update: my sister’s condition is now more stable but please continue to keep her in your thoughts & prayers. thank you for all your support, our family needs it right now.’
You let out a gasp, your face twisting in complete shock at what you were reading. This couldn’t be real. You looked over at how long ago he had posted it.
9 hours ago.
You didn’t move.
How long had his sister been in the hospital? What type of accident had she been in?
A tear slipped down your cheek as you thought about Jungkook’s words that day. What he had promised. Had he really done it? No.
No it couldn’t be right? Your breaths became more shallow as you tried to keep your emotions in check.
But why? Why would he do this after you begged him not to? To an innocent person? How could he have done this.
Had it really been him? You thought over the possibility of it being a pure coincidence. A tragic one but one that didn’t involve Jungkook at all. But even you weren’t that foolish to believe in his non-existent nobility.
He had done it. He had gone through with it.
A shuddering breath left you.
Indescribable terror shook you. Any sort of benefit of the doubt you had given Jungkook was now gone. Vanished completely. Your chains didn’t feel so invisible now with the knowledge that Jungkook had kept every promise.
“If you think I’m such a monster, I promise I will show you how easily I can make that come true for you. ”
Had he meant for you to find out?
Had he meant to hide it from you?
You really hated how you weren’t sure.
A door slammed shut.
You nearly fell off the chair by how much your body jolted.
Jungkook was back early.
—-
1K notes · View notes
lonelyl00n · 3 months ago
Text
polarity | 06 yandere!jungkook au ( sneak peak )
A/N : I decided to post this little sneak tonight since you guys have been waiting so so long. This is not edited yet so please excuse any grammar errors. Thank you💕 :)
——
“No secrets? I-I know what you did.” You accused in between sobs, your hands planted firmly on the floor as you shifted your body weight towards your right leg that left you in an awkward sitting position. It was hard to ignore the chills running down your entire body, your mind struggled to focus on what you wanted to scream at him.
He turned his head to look down at you. His penetrating gaze meeting yours at last.
“I know that you were the one that made my professor accuse me of plagiarism.” You said after another intake of breath. “ You did it, didn’t you? You blackmailed him! Just like you did to me. Just like you do to everyone in order to get your way. I don’t know with what but you did.”
He was silent. Just quietly looking at you.
Your short breaths only quickened, the horrible feeling coming in waves, stopping then gaining more force. You felt like you were stuck in a mid fall. It felt like years passed before Jungkook slowly made his way over to you, your eyes traced over the slight twitch of his fingers and cubic steel bracelet around his wrist. He bent down to your level and you felt his fingers lifting your chin up at him. You knew he could feel you shaking because he angled your face towards him again when you tried to look off to the side, his set gaze halting your rapid eye movements.
“Seems like a little birdie has been talking.” He whispered to you, he almost sounded disappointed. “That just won’t do, baby.”
You felt the sudden urge to slap him but you went to push him away instead. He caught your arms before you could do so, pushing them towards his chest and pulling your whole body closer to him. His actions were rough and careless. An indicator of just how much you’ve pissed him off this time. You could feel your teeth chattering now, your panic attack reaching its peak as you felt your vision blur. It was as if someone had poured a bucket of ice all over you except you wished someone actually had just to rid you of this feeling.
“You know she’s right, you know I’m right. That’s why you’re so upset.” You went on as you squirmed in his hold.
“How easily you’ve forgotten what she’s done to you. Is it that easy to fool you, baby? Does that bitch really have such a tight hold on you still that you that you accept her words as truth without question?” He sounded a parent scolding a small foolish child over taking sweets from a stranger.
He was wrong. Your once all-consuming love for Eunji had turned into a grudge that you couldn’t shake off. She might’ve been a horrible friend but why would she lie about something like that? It seemed too specific. It seemed like she knew more than she was willing to admit and for some reason that only angered you more. She knew more yet she had given you crumbs in return. Was that the plan all along or was she making you a victim of her selfish bitterness again? Even after everything, it was hard for you to believe she hated you that much.
Because you had seen it. You had seen a fragment of sincerity in her eyes earlier. A small piece of pity, no matter how fleeing.
“Ask your little boyfriend what he was doing walking into Professor Clark’s classroom a few weeks ago.”
You swore you had heard it in her voice too. As if she had been doing you one last favor. Granting you one last bit of kindness for all those years spent together being thrown away. But the more you ponder over it, the more Jungkook’s planted seed of doubt began to grow its roots. Had you only seen what you had hoped to?
“You accuse me of lying to you over some gossip your little fake friend filled your head with? It didn’t take long for you to go running back into her arms, did it? Where is your pride?” The disgust in his voice would be hard to fake and you had to look away from the sheer sincerity in it.
“I didn’t run back to her! I wanted answers and-"
“And did you find them?” He cut you off, eyes searching your face like something in it had already granted him the answer. “No, of course you didn’t baby. You let her have the last laugh again.”
Again.
“How would she know to make that connection and why would she lie about her seeing you walk into our professor’s classroom weeks ago.” You hissed back at him eagerly grasping to take control of the conversation that he had so easily overpowered in seconds.
God, you really couldn’t breath.
“Do you hear yourself? You’re asking me why a girl that has been jealous and spiteful towards you for years would try and scheme against you for sleeping with her ex-boyfriend! ” Jungkook sneered back and you flinched at the sudden raise of volume in his voice.
“Lying comes as easily as breathing to some. Haven’t you learned that by now? You really are more naive than I thought if you have yet to realize how unkind this world is and how often people like you get trampled over.”
You let out another quivering sob, growing more and more upset by his words. You might be naive but you weren’t that naive to not realize that he wasn’t the one who should be saying this to you. Him of all people. It felt like a stab in the chest. Jungkook lets go of your arms and brings them to cradle your face in his hands instead. His thumbs wiping away your never ending tears. His action is meant to be gentle but his grip is so tight that you feel his nails digging slightly into your skin.
“I’ve only ever tried to protect you, baby. Protect you from her and from yourself.” His hot breath sent waves of shock through you, you felt his lips lightly graze your own. “How many times must I save you from her? And from everyone who has ill intentions towards you before you realize it’s only ever going to be me.”
He lifted one hand from your cheek to carress your hair, those glossy doe eyes pulling you in and tugging at the invisible strings on your limbs and heart.
“How many times must I prove my love to you?”
This wasn’t love. It couldn’t be.
It felt like something much stronger. Much too different. Your love for Eunji had never felt this overwhelming. It never felt like you were being lulled to a perfect sleep, just to be suddenly plunged into a free fall. This didn’t feel anything like a secret held close to your chest, your heart skipping a beat everytime you used to see her even when you’d already seen her three times before that day. How giddy you felt at her accidental touches. How much you seemed to please her and never wanted to see her in pain. How easily it came to you to want to fix all her minor inconveniences.
No, this felt nothing like that. It wasn’t a secret. It didn’t allow itself to be. It was too loud. Too ugly. Whatever you had felt for Eunji, it felt five times more heightened with Jungkook. His presence felt like too much yet like there was never enough of it to actually violate you. It fit you in a way you were so frightened to admit. He had taken a piece of you that you never agreed on giving him. Yet it was that very foreign feeling that had you craving him in moments you shouldn’t have. In nearly all hours of a day. You were frightened at what you had been feeling these past two weeks sharing his space. Completely terrified at what he had managed to make you feel for him in such little time .
Even now, he felt so familiar yet so untouchable.
“This isn’t love.” You replied back in a broken whisper. It was mistake and you realized it quickly but it was too late to take it back. You blamed your overly emotional state for the thoughtless response.
A few beats of silence passed with only your uneven breaths filling the room. Jungkook continued to caress your hair before the corners of his lips twitched. An almost sad small appearing on them.
“Fine.” Another few beats of silence. The heavy air lingered.
You licked your dry lips as he retrieved his hand completely from you. Your eyes tracked the movement before they landed on the unreadable look on his face.
“ If you think I’m such a monster, I promise I will show you how easily I can make that come true for you. ” He stated lowly, dark eyes taking in your features again. “And it will make everything else I’ve done pale in comparison.”
—-
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lonelyl00n · 3 months ago
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it’s psychological horror to YOU. to me it’s a romcom
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lonelyl00n · 4 months ago
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Good Maid
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Pairing: Dark Ramsay Bolton x (female) Reader
SUMMARY: Your lady’s husband takes an unrequited interest in you. 
▶ This is a yandere/dark work and it may contain triggering content so please READ THE WARNINGS before. Do not read if minor.
More at Masterlist
WARNINGS: Noncon (handjob); Power Abuse.
Please, reblog and give me feedback.
--
Icy eyes.
That’s the first thing you noticed about your Ramsay Bolton.
The happiness of being back in Winterfell is short-lived as you quickly realize that it’s no longer the same blissful environment.
It’s changed.
The familiar walls that once gave you peace now offer you anxiety over what the future holds. The people look grim, bitter expressions molding their faces as if they've lost their hope.
The Bolton House scares you more than anything, their sigil making you hold your breath every time you see it. You always avert your eyes as if it’s a bad omen.
Tension and apprehension float in the air, more so upon meeting the family. 
You stay behind your lady as she reaches closer to them, but you know she too isn’t looking forward to meeting them. But appearances matter so she puts a neutral mask over her mask, maintaining her dignity. 
Lady Bolton is amicable, sweet even. A Frey, you’ve heard. Practically offered, with a heavy dowry of silver coins worth her weight.
But the man and his son inspire fear, despite their poor attempt to make conversation Many stories about them have reached your ears. Passionate fans of violent practices such as flaying.
The thought alone makes you shiver, and it catches the younger man’s attention.
His blue eyes only rested on you for a moment, but it was enough for you to look away in a hurry, switching your gaze to Lady Sansa as she introduced herself to the Bolton family, not daring to look again at the man.
But still, an unsettling itch remained on your skin as you observed the fulfillment of formalities, only relaxing when it’s time to accompany your lady to her chambers, to help her prepare for the ceremony.
You pray to the gods, wishing everything to go well, but something tells you it won't be that easy.
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“Such a hard-working maid you got yourself, my dear wife. Northern maids really are unique.”
As the words come out of Ramsay Bolton’s mouth, you and your lady exchange a look, both of you at a loss at words.
You put your head down, hiding behind a curtain of hair, hoping it would be enough to conceal you from the shameless staring coming from your lady’s husband as he comes closer to you.
“I’m afraid my own servants aren’t quite as efficient as you are, young girl. I’m sure my wife won’t mind you giving me a helping hand, won’t she?” his head twists as he directs his words to Sansa.
She looks at him, pink lips parted as she hesitates for a moment.
You want her to refuse.
To demand her husband to go away. To leave you alone.
But a wife can never disrespect her husband in such a way. Much less for an ordinary maid.
You know that. But even so, she attempts.
“My lord, she’s my maid-“
“…and I’m your husband, correct?”
Tension fills the room as the smile slips away from Ramsay’s face, his jaw dangerously ticking.
He slowly walks away to the bed, sitting on its edge. Your eyes drop to his hands, the way they’re bundled in fists.
Servants often speak of the poor treatment many ladies receive at the hands of their husbands and you can only hope your lady doesn’t collect the same destiny.
She’s the closest thing you have to a friend now.
“…and allow me to remind you, my lovely wife, that this is my home. Everything and everyone under this roof belongs to me, yourself included.”
Sansa presses her lips into a thin line, helpless as you are. The sinister grin returns to his face, giving him a deranged appearance.
“Good thing I‘ve cleared out all misunderstandings. Now, you-“ he gestures to you, “Come closer, I don’t bite.”
Your lady takes a step towards the door but her attempt is fruitless. 
“No, you’ll stay here, lady Sansa.” Ramsay barks. “You’ll stay and watch how useful your maid will be. Perhaps learn a thing or two from her.”
She looks at you, fear in her eyes and you force yourself to drop your eyes to the ground, unable to face her. Ramsay snaps his fingers for attention, indicating you to come closer.
“You can start unbuttoning my shirt.”
Your fingers shake ever so lightly as you do so, cold sweat gathering at the back of your neck with the uneasy proximity to your lord.
“Remove it.” He orders as you end the row of buttons. You do as he says, pulling off his shirt. Your legs carry you a step back, but you’re soon stopped, his hand wrapping itself around your wrist, pulling you back.
“…and now the trousers.”
“My lord?”
“You’ve heard it. The trousers.” he repeats.
You swallow, quickly reaching for the buttons on his slacks, undoing them. But once again he grabs your hand.
“I believe you can be more helpful than that.” his heated stare makes you cower. Your eyes steal a glance at your lady, but her head is down, gaze focused on the floor with redness covering her cheeks.
There’s nothing she can do for you.
Your neck snaps with a painful crack as Ramsay pulls your face forward, forcing you to look at him as he pulls you down, pushing you on your knees.
“Your lady isn’t going to save you, silly girl.” he comments, humming with delight. “So perhaps you should help yourself and do as your lord commands you to."
"Or if you’d rather spend a lovely evening with my hounds. They must be quite hungry tonight, haven’t fed them in days.”
His threat is enough to scare you at the memory of the violent beasts he so proudly showed to your lady.
“So? Do you prefer my hound’s company?”
“No, my lord.” You mutter, shaking your head.
 “Good.” he says. “Take it off then.”
He pushes your hand over his unbuttoned pants, and you reluctantly dig your hand inside, wincing upon touching his hard member.  
You do as he says, looking back at Ramsay with a clueless expression.
“Touch it.” he instructs.  
“A hand will suffice for now. I can sense you’re a shy little thing in front of public.” he says, his eyes running over your figure greedily. “I suppose I’ll have to work on that.”
Your hand moves unnaturally, almost as a foreign limb. It doesn’t feel real seeing your hand moving up and down his cock, the steady rhythm gaining a few curses from Ramsay.
His hand finds the back of your neck, gripping it tight. He pushes you closer, burying his face into your hair. His breathing is heavy on your ear as you keep your ministrations.
The air feels thicker, making it hard to breathe as you hold back your tears. It feels like forever before his cock twitches before he finally cums, warm seed spurting onto your hand.
Ramsay presses a wet kiss to your hairline, his face glinting with sweat as he smiles, a sickly satisfied grin.
“Now that’s what I call a good maid.” 
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lonelyl00n · 5 months ago
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part one
TW: nsfw, dubcon, blackmail
fem reader
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As promised, you receive the pictures in the mail while the payment is forwarded almost emmidiatly. You don’t know which makes you gawk more, the photos of you or the numbers.
You also get an email—an invitation. The photographer is asking you to dinner. Or, asking is putting it nicely—which he most certainly didn’t. It’s phrased like a notice from your boss—matter-of-factly, he’s picking you up at eight, wear something nice.
You think about declining, but then you think about your friend again and how you don’t want to cause her any trouble. A free dinner isn’t really all that bad, is it?
It’s worse, actually.
“You should have told me you didn’t have anything to wear. I would have lent you something,” is the first thing he says when you get in his car. He hadn’t opened the door for you or anything, just sat in the driver’s seat waiting.
And though your cheeks burn with embarrassment, you think you’re foolish for it. You hadn't really dressed to impress him, after all—something you might as well tell him, “Maybe I just didn’t feel like dressing up. You didn’t exactly leave a good impression last time we met, so I don’t believe I owe you anything.”
He scoffs with a grin—face turned towards the road as he starts driving. “You have a lot more bite without your friend.”
“She has too much respect for you.” You cross your arms and look out the window. 
“That’s for sure.” You hear him chuckle, but he doesn’t offer any more of a response. You’re glad to spend the rest of the drive in silence.
You feel underdressed at the restaurant. You hadn’t thought he’d take you somewhere so nice. Most of the other couples there are dressed as if for a gala, while you’re dressed as if you’re going to an office party.
He hasn’t tried too hard himself. But still, he fits in—fat watch on his wrist, kempt hair, neat shoes, dress trousers, and a silk shirt with one too many buttons undone—a nauseating skinny chain beneath the collar as well as the hint of a chest tattoo. You bet it’s one of those dumb tribal inks, probably with some mundane Japanese characters he doesn’t know the meaning of.
“Is this where you undermine all the models desperate for your recognition?” you sigh as you sit down.
“We haven't even gotten our menus, and you’re already causing a scene?” 
He’s the one who was rude the moment you got in the car. In fact, he was rude the minute you met him. “Might as well speed this along.”
He chuckles—his smile genuinely amused instead of angered the way you’d imagined—the way you’d remembered from last time when he sent girls crying. “You know, for a face like that, you have one hell of a tongue.”
He orders wine by the name with ease and swiftness before returning to what he was saying.
“I like that. Most models are dull, but not you.”
“I don’t agree. And I’m a model,” you snip, showing no interest in his flirting.
 “No? Didn’t you see the pictures?” Your attitude doesn’t seem to deter him—rather, it only seems to egg him further on. “I have them all mounted on my walls at home—you should come see.”
This makes you falter. Looking at him from across the table with rounded eyes. “On your walls?”
“Framed.” He smiles, finally having broken through—he only intends to take it further. Not that what he was saying wasn’t true. “I just couldn’t help myself. I consider it my best work.” 
The look on your face is something between disgusted and uncertain—speechless in a sense.
It makes him laugh again. “Does anything flatter you?”
The wine comes. He’s poured a glass for testing.
“Not when spoken by men like you.”
His grin grows as he swirls the liquid around, smelling it like a phony.
“That’s a shame,” he says before taking a sip. He nods to the waiter, and you’re poured a similar glass. Meanwhile, he looks at you. “I’d like to flatter you—I’d like to spoil you even. You seem like you deserve it.”
You sip your glass. “No need.”
“I’m not so sure about that. You currently work at a diner, right?”
You gaze at him from atop your glass, brows furrowing. “How do you—”
“I didn’t.” It’s a lie, of course, he’d searched you up and gone over every little detail he could find. “It’s clear from the looks of you—”
“Fuck you,” you snap, putting your glass down a bit too harshly, enough to make a little wine slip and spill.
He doesn’t mind it. “Oh, I want you to,” he says instead. “After I pay for dinner and drive you back. We can fuck right under my favorite portrait of you.”
You’re stunted by his crude words, but only for a second. “How about we skip dinner, and you go fuck yourself.” 
His smile doesn��t drop, even as you get up to leave. “Settle down, sweetheart.”
“Make me, jackass.” 
You’re on your way to go, but his next words have you halting. 
“Either you humor me, or I make sure your friend never models in the country again.”
You turn around to look at him. You don’t really know why you’re so surprised. The card he just pulled is the very reason you agreed to the dinner in the first place. But an incentive is very different from outright blackmail, and suppose you just hadn’t really believed he’d take it that far.
“It’s my impression you don’t want that,” he continues.
You sit back down. He tops your glass off.
“I could make her big, you know?” he offers while pouring for himself as well. “Really speed her career along—set her up for life. I’ll do the same for you, too, of course.” 
He swirls his wine, lifting it as if to make a toast.
“And all you gotta do is come back home with me.”
You don’t have the words.
“You won’t be disappointed,” he promises. “I’m good at it.” As if that’s your concern. “You’ll never want to fuck anyone else again.”
You hate how right he is. 
You’ve never cum sooner or harder before in your life, not with anyone else or on your own. It’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced—so good, you’re screaming—moaning out in echoes throughout his giant penthouse, bouncing off the marble floors into all unlocked rooms, creating a cacophony of your undeniable pleasure.
He’s on his knees beneath you as you lean with your back against the window overlooking the city, barely able to stand as he buries his face between your soft thighs, canting his chin up while lapping hard at your slit and clit. His hard stare set on your face and the way you throw your head back while cumming in his mouth—your hand tussled in his hair, yanking on it hard enough to make him growl.
Your legs and feet give you little support. It's his hands that keep you up as you slide further and further down the floor-to-ceiling window until you’re almost about ready to drop your weight completely.
But he’s made you come undone three times by then, and just can’t wait any longer. 
He’s spun you around before you know it, making you face the pretty lights of the city skyline—his mouth hot on the shell of your ear, “I told you so, didn’t I?”
Your breath fogs the glass with your panting—knees wobbly, only standing thanks to the thick arms he’s got supporting you, each with a tit in their hand, giving them rough squeezes as he starts pounding away at your womb—hard enough to make the city lights blend in with the stars. 
“You won’t wanna fuck anyone else again.”
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♡ BNHA – Bakugou, Shigaraki, Dabi, Aizawa, Shinso, Overhaul ♡ JJK – Sukuna, Naoya, Toji ♡ HQ – Tsukishima, Kageyama, Iwaizumi, Sakusa ♡ BLLK – Reo, Rin ♡ AOT – Levi ♡ DS – Akaza, Sanemi
♡ FEM x M INSERT masterlist ♡ GN x M INSERT masterlist
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lonelyl00n · 5 months ago
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yan! ex husband (cont.)
Things got a little messy with my life within 5 days after I uploaded. I was almost disowned but things are better now. I was planning on uploading soon but I only got time now.
You barely remember when it started —when was the last time he sat down and spent time with you instead brushing you in your rare times of rest. You do understand how time consuming his daily activities are. He was, after all, a professor by day and a medical student at night. So, you would smile at him and assure him that you always understand and you are fine with less date nights and hangouts. But, you were only asking a bare minimum from him —you just want some time where you both just sit in each other’s presence and let the silence be because it brought you comfort.
You just want to know that he is still there.
That, in some way or form, you still matter.
(In the back of your mind, you wonder if it is a right choice to get married as soon as you both finished your undergraduate degrees.)
(You brush the traitorous thoughts away from your mind.)
Just a little more. You can still wait.
Was it by a stroke of unfortunate circumstances, you wonder as you watched him grinned widely as he finished med school and immediately was recruited to some hospital while his words came from one ear to another. He seems so happy and less stressed as you try to keep up with him. 
“What do you think, love?”
What do you think? 
“What?”
“I asked if we can move closer to my workplace?” He repeated and you felt that once again your world froze. “It will be a different environment from here. The distance is a little over five hours in this place. Wouldn't it be more convenient?”
“Oh, yeah.” Convenient for him, sure. But, what about your career? “But, it will be far from mine.”
He brushed you off. “Well, you can always quit right?” Then he moved on to the next topic as if you agreed.
Oh.
Do you really matter to him at all?
You often heard from your friends that sometimes being together wouldn’t be enough if the relationship becomes stagnant and prison for your well-being. You had denied everything that is slowly ruining your relationship for years now, you let go of your convictions, passions, and dreams just for him. Let him shine and soar high while you are left scrambling in the ground. 
It was not like this before. 
Before, he listened. He was there before, there used to be a lot more love and smiles. 
Home was him before.
Home is not him now.
You stared at the documents in your hand, you had talked to your attorney about the procedures and now you need his signature.
“Love?” He’s back early for a change.
It’s time to end this godforsaken marriage and choose yourself for once.
“I need you to sign this.”
There is no going back to the past.
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lonelyl00n · 5 months ago
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TW: yandere, domestic violence, abuse, suicidal ideations, suicide attempts, accidental murder, death
gn reader
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You should have never fallen in love with someone so brash, but you like seeing the good in people much to the abuse of your own. Still, rough around the edges as he was, you’d never thought he’d become such a monster.
The first time he slapped you, you were so shocked you’d ended up the one who apologized—all the way convinced you must have deserved it. And ever since then, you’ve only accumulated more bruises in areas you can’t explain.
You’re in the bathroom now. The door’s locked, but you don’t think it’ll keep him out for long.
“Open the door, babe—I didn’t mean it.”
You don’t even know if he has himself convinced of that or if he’s just saying it to soothe you. Either way, it doesn’t change the fact that your wrist and rib are broken. You’re so terrified you think you might end up dying from the fear alone, sitting in the bathtub just waiting for the inevitable.
You don’t have a phone—it was taken when an old boyfriend had texted. You’d share his from then on, he said—better that way so he can keep track of you. It’s strange, but somehow, you believed it was rather romantic. 
You were going to leave this time. It would be so simple. He was at work, and you’d just leave everything and walk right out the door. But there was an incident at the office which made him come home early only to catch you red-handed heading out the door you know you’re not supposed to open without him.
You’d been so panicked you’d tried running—but there was really no chance. His arms caught you hard, and the floor he threw you back on met you even harder—hence the snapped bones.
Still, you’d managed to scramble to the bathroom with just enough time to lock it behind you.
And now you were left all out of options.
“Open the door, we’ll talk. Maybe I misunderstood.” His voice had calmed down now. He’d been at it for a while—he sounded more airy, teetering on frantic, and it only served to scare you even more. “I know it can get pretty cramped in ‘ere all alone. Maybe you were just getting some fresh air, is all?” He left the question a couple of seconds worth of breath before sending his fist into the door. “Come on, answer me!”
You were sobbing. He might actually kill you this time. God knows you’ve thought he would other times with both his hands wrapped tight around your throat, stringing you up, making you lose voice for days.
You thought about it—the razor blades in the drawer. It seemed like the only option left. Better you than him, right? He’d make it painful. Or worse, he might not go through with it at all, and you’d be stuck living with him forever.
That really did seem worse than death, you thought, sitting on the floor while holding the shiny metal piece to your wrist. Which way was best to cut again? Right. It’ll be quick, and then it’ll be over.
You don’t even hear the door breaking down before he’s on you. You don’t even realize you’ve cut before you see the red. You don’t even know whose blood it is before he gags on it—before it splutters from his mouth upon your face and the slice on his neck splits upon and gushes out like a waterfall all over your clothes.
He drops to the floor with a heavy thud a moment later.
The blood is so warm you don’t even understand how he’s dead.
You even think about stopping the bleeding for a moment, but then it suddenly settles. And then along, shortly after, the understanding that you’d killed him.
The razor hits the bloody tiles with no sound—it’s all so thick it splats before sinking, disappearing slowly. You swallow once, but you’re throat is all but dry. Even the tears had stopped in the shock.
You spot the phone on the floor, having slid from his pocket—moments away from drowning in the blood that seems to just continue seeping and spreading forever. Something within you grabs it before it can.
“Nine-one-one. What is your emergency?”
“Hi! Uhm… I’ve just killed my boyfriend.”
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BNHA – Bakugou, Kirishima, Dabi, Hawks, Enji, Aizawa JJK – Sukuna, Naoya, Toji DS – Akaza, Inosuke, Sanemi
♡ (FEMxM) INSERT masterlist ♡ (GNxM) INSERT masterlist
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lonelyl00n · 5 months ago
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take a hint fuckboy.
Yandere playboy x gn!reader
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♥️Kameron usagi was the most popular guy in your school. He had money, good looks, fantastic grades, even his own car and well paying job, which was any sophomores dream. What was not to love? Well..just one itsy bitsy detail.
♥️ he was a major fuckboy. Hitting beds just like he's hitting bases on the fields. He's slept with nearly every girl on campus, you wouldn't be surprised if he slept in a couple guy's too. Still, he actually expected you to overlook his "past" of sleeping around? You probably would, if you hadn't spent the last four years in the same class with him
♥️wooing girls (and guys), going on a few dates, bed them, dump them, and repeat. It ended up with more broken hearts than you could count. But no one has the balls to actually speak up about it. Why? Because kameron could easily wreck their social life. make them be hated by the entire school, even potentially fucking up their future if they really ticked him off
♥️but with you? Oh he's complete putty in your hands. Sadly you seemed to hate his guts. You aren't seriously mad about him sleeping with all your friends-? Oh.. you are. Well, this complicates things huh!
♥️kameron is incredibly delusional the longer his persistence goes on. Believing this is all some game and deep down you love him back. You're just shy and nervous! Dont worry! He can wait (no he can't.)
♥️he sends his cronies to stalk you. Making them collect whatever they can to add to his shrine of you in his bedroom. He Photoshops pictures of you both, posting them on social media so everyone can see! His pressuring you into a relationship isn't very subtle. You know what he's doing. But what can you do? He practically rules the school since his parents are grand contributers to the funding
♥️by the time sophomore year is ending, you're worn out and too tired to fight back. Simply giving in to his obsessive love and silently praying that one of the college's you sent applications to will accept. When you nod your head as he holds a large rose bouquet and a box of chocolates, he's jumping for joy. Taking you into his arms and kissing you deeply. Swooping you into his Camaro.
♥️ atleast now you're technically the queen of the school. You're popular and people gush about your relationship with incredible fondness. The downside is now that everyone knows, it'll be harder to break up with him because how could you ruin such a picture perfect relationship? Shame on you y/n. (Ignore the fanclub of ex girlfriends frothing at the mouth thinking up ways to ruin your life)
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lonelyl00n · 5 months ago
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Yandere Head Canons:
Careful What You Wish For
Yandere Fling (Stalker) x Fem Reader
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It was just supposed to be a one night stand. A moment of heated passion with a stranger… yet why was Arturo so obsessed with you? You had only met him last night… or so you thought.
You had met Arturo at a party and he had such a charm to him. It was like an instant connection. Not only were all of his interests compatible with yours, but he was also compatible in bed with you.
How often did one find a guy who would bend you over in every position and eat you out until you cried? Never. Arturo was one of the best lovers you ever had… nearly perfect. If he hadn’t rambled some nonsense in your ears while he pounded you into his mattress.
Until he told you that he loved you when he finally came undone inside of you. Of how he had wanted to grant your wish for so long. You had pushed the unsettling phrases he said in the moment in the back of your head last night but now reality began to set in. Had you just slept with someone who could be a stalker?
His lips lazily placed kisses up and down your shoulders as his muscular arms pulled you closer to his bare body. “Last night was amazing… how about another round, mi corazon?”
You nervously chuckled and tried to shimmy yourself away from him but he only held onto you even tighter. Arturo nestled his face into the crook of your neck, his beard tickled.
“Why the rush? We had a pretty eventful time last night.” Arturo pressed a kiss to your shoulder, a playful glint now in his brown eyes. “How about we get breakfast together? It’s on me.”
“That’s perfectly alright.” You nervously tried to pull away once more, but Arturo didn’t let up. “I need to use the bathroom, can you let me go?”
Arturo quickly released you, the man sat up and stretched. “I’m sorry… it’s the third room on the right. Don’t mind the second one, it’s a little messy.”
You nodded your head at his words. You quickly sauntered out of the room and into the hall.. A bit of curiosity filled you when you thought of the ‘messy’ second room. What could be in there?
You glanced back and noticed Arturo hadn’t followed you so you quietly opened the second room to quench your curious eyes. Just a peak wouldn’t hurt, right? Only for your heart to drop in pure horror. Why… why was this room covered in photographs of you? A lit up monitor that displayed the intimate layout of your house lit up the entire room. How did he have access to your home like this? Was he… was he your stalker?
You tried to back out but your back bumped into a muscular chest. You were about to release a loud scream but Arturo quickly placed a hand over your mouth.
“Shhh. You weren’t supposed to go in there, silly.” Your face paled when his other hand shut the door. You could feel his heart rapidly beat in his chest. “It’s okay though. I’m glad you know how I feel about you now. It makes this all that much easier.”
Arturo swung you around and placed his lips against yours in a searing kiss. His hands greedily grasped at your hips.
“I’ve been watching you for so long and now you’re finally here… I won’t let you go.” You tried to push against him, to fight him, but he only chuckled at your weak attempts. You were nothing more than a kitten that attempted to scratch at a lion. A fact he found so utterly adorable. “You’re going to love it here, I promise.”
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lonelyl00n · 5 months ago
Text
Nanny
Yandere Izana with a Nanny Darling
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Disclaimer: Middle-aged but DILF Izana
TW: Yandere, Manipulation, Drugging, Somnophilia, Non-Con, Dub-Con, Mind Break
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You anxiously looked over your wristwatch for the seventh time as you waited for the bus to stop at your place. “Come on, I don’t want to be late, '' you thought as you looked over again to the road. There was no vehicle in sight; you then grumbled under your breath. You’ve woken up early and got dressed and even set extra timers for this day. You really couldn’t afford to lose this job since it was the only one that offered excellent pay, and it had employment benefits such as vacation days, extra pay, and even dental plans, which is a far cry compare to your previous jobs, even those that had a decent salary but had a terrible working time and fewer employment benefits. But even then, you really can’t enjoy it because you have somehow gotten fired so suddenly by your employer.
Ever since you graduated from college, it's been hard to get a job or stay there for a long time. Hell, you’ve even tried to apply at a fast-food joint, but you still got rejected, saying that you were overqualified for the job and that it would be a hassle to pay you. That is why you are desperate to arrive on time for this job. Because of your bad luck with your employment, you had been struggling with your budget for months and if you bust this job, your landlord might as well kick you out due to your overdue payment in your apartment. 
And you feared that happening since you really didn’t have any family member to take you in, much less a close friend that would do it for you. If you couldn’t keep this job, you were surely going to be homeless next week. 
As you mulled over your terrible situation, you suddenly heard a bus coming your way, which snapped you out of your train of thought. “Oh, finally,” you thought as you waited for the bus to stop at your station. When the bus door opened, you quickly entered the vehicle and paid the toll on the machine near the bus driver. Seeing that you are the only one at the station, the bus driver quickly closed the door and drove off to the next bus stop. As you sit on the chair, you quickly pull up your phone and check again on the address that you were going to work at. The place is in Minato Ward in Tokyo, even though you are from Nerima, which is a little farther if you consider the distance of the wards. Despite that, a thirty-minute train ride would be a slight inconvenience to you compared to a lifetime of regret if you don’t take this job, which you desperately need right now. 
When the bus finally stopped at the train station, you swiftly exited the bus and entered the train station. You then pull out your phone, which had your IC card on its back, which thankfully still had some balance on it. You then quickly swipe it on the turnstile and run on the platform to wait for the train, to your luck is arriving shortly at the train station. When the train car’s doors open, you shoved yourself into the small crowd who are entering the train. Even though the train is quite packed with passengers, you thankfully found a spot to sit on and relax until you’ve arrived at your stop, which is about thirty minutes if you estimated the time. It would be very painful for your feet if you had to stand for half an hour in the same place.
 As you wait for your stop, you pull out your phone again and read the job that you are going to have. It is basically becoming a nanny for a single father that lived alone with his son. Apparently, your employer, Mister Kurokawa, wanted to hire a nanny who has a college degree that involves working with younger children. Luckily for you, you just got your degree in early childhood education last year. Honestly, it was god-sent when you found this job ad while scrolling down through countless job sites on your phone, and it was a miracle when you were quickly accepted by your employer after sending your application online for just a few hours of sending it to them. Honestly, you thought that your employer would not even look at your application. You were just a fresh college graduate with little experience. Don’t even ask about your job history, which is a mess itself. Your job requirement is simple really: take care of the child as best as you can while simultaneously stimulating his capacity for learning and mobility. Which is the usual requirement for most of your previous jobs already. Your employer also sent you information that involves his son. He’s eight months old and dubbed ‘high maintenance’ by his father endearingly. His baby is very dexterous for his age and drinks more milk than a normal baby.
The baby was also very touchy especially to those who they have bonded with the most, which was very usual for babies his age. Mister Kurokawa had also sent you a few pictures of his baby, which were very adorable. Some of them were his baby wearing various colorful onesies, while others were him getting fed by him or his baby doing baby things. It made you hopeful of staying on the job for a long time, or at least a few years, since you are going to teach and raise his baby for quite a long time, and you can finally use your degree in something that you are really passionate about, which was a win-win situation for you honestly. Even if your situation is finally looking up, dread still lingers in your mind, since you have a sequence of bad luck on jobs. What if this also applies to your current one? What if in less than a month, something would happen and your employer, just like your previous one, would sack you quickly because of a reason that is out of your control or was just a small mistake. That really made you nervous, making your palms sweat. 
But you shook away those thoughts, wanting to distract yourself from your past. Maybe that this would be different from your past employment since you can only focus on one person and have fewer demands compared to your previous jobs. And besides, you can now actually focus on a child instead of taking care of many without addressing their individual needs. Even though you love your previous experience with some of your previous jobs, it irked you that you can’t focus on a child’s problem without another one taking your attention, making the previous child feel ignored. You love the job really, but sometimes, it could get really demanding not only on your responsibilities but also the children that demand total attention from you. 
As you pondered more about your situation, your train stopped and announced that you’ve arrived at the station that is your stop. You got up and exited the train car before looking at the address on your phone; the place that you were going to work at is a little bit far away from the station, but nonetheless, you then swiftly walk towards the exit and walk to your destination. As you walk towards the place, you somehow got lost. It’s your first time in Minato since you’ve never been in this ward of Tokyo before. You bit your lip anxiously while looking again at Google Maps; you have somehow got lost and even an app that could provide your location and ways couldn’t even help you. How screwed up does your luck have to be when it comes to your employment? Just as when you are about to call your employer for directions, you suddenly bump into someone. 
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!” you said in a concerned tone as you looked over at who you’ve bumped into. The man was shorter than you. He had healthy-looking tan skin and silky white hair. His eyes were a rare orchid shade, and his face looked like it belonged to one of those foreign models in magazines. His muscles are obvious as he wore a white turtleneck shirt and black baggy pants. “No worries, I’m okay - how about you?” he asked as he looked up at you, which made you lightly blush. 
You can’t help but look away in embarrassment. “A-ah, I’m alright, s-sorry for bumping into you,” you stutter, not looking down to meet his gaze. You heard him chuckle in amusement, which made you kind of embarrassed, to be honest. 
“Ah, are you lost? You seem anxious while looking down at your phone. Did something happen to you?” 
You hear him ask. 
You finally look back at him and shyly nod at his question, flustered by how obvious you are, but at the same time, flattered by the person’s concern for you. “U-uhm, it's actually kinda funny really, I have a new workplace at this ward and I- I don’t really know the place, so I use Google Maps and still I’m lost” you mumbled, ashamed of your current situation. As you twirled your fingers, trying to calm down, you saw the man then tilt his head for a moment but then smile at you, “I’m familiar with this place, so how about I point you in the right direction?” he offered, you then looked back at him, eyes widening in surprise. 
You thanked the man for his help and apologized again before showing him the address of the place. When you show it to him, to your surprise, he just giggles and then looks at you. “I never thought that I would bump into you, Miss (L/N).” 
Your eyes winded, realizing who he is. “M-mister Kurokawa, I-I’m sorry,” you hurriedly said and quickly gave him a low bow. As you looked down at the pavement, you heard an amused chuckle coming from him. 
“No worries, Miss (L/N), no need for bowing”. As you heard those words, you looked back at him. Straightening your posture, you smiled, “Thank you for your consideration, Mister Kurokawa, I’m sorry that I have to meet you this way.” 
He waved it off and offered to walk you back to his place, which you quickly agreed to. While walking together, you can’t help but to be embarrassed inside, why does it have to be this way to meet your boss? “Oh my god, I hope that he isn’t angry,” you thought as you thought about your earlier interaction. 
When the two of you arrived at a rather slick-looking building, it was one of the few skyscrapers in the area, and it looks like it was rather well guarded for some reason. As the two of you entered the building, various people in formal attire bowed down at Mister Kurokawa, welcoming him back. Their action made you nervous, terrible thoughts swirled in your mind as you realized what kind of person is your employer. Obviously, he was a very important person, maybe an owner of a large company or an heir, since he looks too young to be the owner. When the two of you entered the elevator, you kept a polite distance from him, not wanting to make yourself look unprofessional like your previous actions made you seem. You needed to show him just how capable you were to be hired for this job and your previous stuttering didn’t help you gain that image; you hoped that for the next few days, your image in his mind would improve once you’d shown your capabilities on handling your job. 
The elevator stopped and opened its doors, revealing a long hallway that led to an enormous door, which had a security camera in front of it. The two of you walked up to that door, which quickly opened once the camera recognized your employer’s face. After you entered the gate, the two of you walked into another hallway that had another elevator, which would most likely be the way towards Mister Kurokawa’s home. The two of you entered that elevator and waited for a few moments before finally arriving at his home, which is a penthouse above this building. 
“Oh wow,” you thought as you marveled at the view of the skyscraper. The place overlooked every building in Minato, even the other skyscrapers. You could also look down to see the Tokyo Tower, which was very fascinating. You snapped out of your wonder and looked back at your employer, who was walking around the main building of the penthouse. The two of you entered a glass door that slid open, welcoming you to his house. As you expected, everything looks meticulously placed and designed as if it catered to your boss’s taste, which is most likely the case. The two of you then walked down a hallway, passing by rooms and glass windows that overlooked the gardens and surprisingly a tea house surrounded by a stunning chaniwa garden. The two of you then walked up to a stair which led to the second floor of the house, there you could see that the place has fewer rooms, but it is evidently the most used floor since this would probably be the place where the baby and your boss’s room was located. 
The two of you then walked down to a door with a colorful out-of-place sign that said ‘Shinichiro’s Room’. Mister Kurokowa then opens the door, revealing an enormous room that is specifically made for a child. After he opened it, the two of you then heard a loud laughter of a baby, which quickly captured both of your attention. The two of you quickly walked up to the baby’s crib and saw him looking up at the two of you while playing with a small tiger toy. “Aw, your son is so cute Mr. Kurokawa,” you said as you looked at the baby, which is now confused as he focused his attention on you. “Please, call me Izana, Mister Kurokawa makes me feel old. " 
You looked at him. “Really? But you look like you're in your late twenties, surely you can’t be much older than that,” you said to him, confused by his statement. 
He looked at you for a moment but then let out a small titter. “Miss (L/N), I’m in my early forties, please don’t flatter me like this,” he said with a faint smile on his face. Your eyes winded, early forties? Holy hell, he looked so young!
“I-I meant it Mister- I mean Izana, you really looked younger compared to your actual age!” you exclaimed, bursting your words because of your nervousness. This caused your employer to giggle again before asking you to take a seat on the nearby chair to discuss your duties and responsibilities. The rules were simple really: take care of the child with great care, stimulate his mind and mobility as much as you can, feed him during a specific time period, and quickly change his diaper or clothes if there is even a small body fluid forming and most of all, don’t leave the penthouse without Izana coming back home.
“I assume that this would be simple for you, Miss (L/N)?” he asked, looking up at you. 
“Got it, sir,” you said while puffing up your chest, assuring him that you can do this, but this caused Izana to let out an amused smile at your behavior. 
Izana then looked at his wristwatch, “Oh, look at the time, it seems that I have work to do down in the building, Miss (L/N). If you need anything that is not available in this penthouse, just go down to the kitchen, and dial the landline phone and my assistant Kakucho will bring it to you,” he said, looking at his baby before he leaves. 
After he left, you looked at the baby and smiled. To your surprise, the baby smiled back and even started giggling, which made your heart burst because of his cute behavior. You quickly lifted him up and cradled him to your chest. Although Shinichiro was surprised by your action, he instinctively processed the situation, like he recognized it as someone comforting him. He then let out a gummy smile and babbled at you. You smiled at him. It seems Shinichiro is not that of a fussy baby at all. 
“Okay Shinichiro, let’s do some fun activities today, okay?” you said to the baby, the baby let out an excited gurgle as if he can understand your words. You giggled and looked at the clock that was in front of you - it seemed that it was his feeding time. “Okay, but let’s get you some milk first, okay?” you said as you walked towards the refrigerator in the room. The job is not that demanding, and the baby is really cute and not fussy. You just hope that your bad luck has disappeared because you are starting to love your job. 
Weeks passed as you continued to be employed by Mr. Kurokawa, or Izana, as he insisted on being referred to. It is really fun and fulfilling to be employed in this job and you are really thankful for it, even though most of your interactions are with the baby or sometimes, Izana himself. But compared to your previous jobs - this one is a piece of cake. Shinichiro is not only unfussy but actually a really playful and active baby, which was a welcomed surprise when you found out about it a few days ago. As you continue to be employed, days have also flown by like it's nothing; before you could exactly recall how many days you have been employed and even remember what your lunch had been at that time, but now?  You ertr too focused on caring for the baby to remember those redundant things. 
Those memories have been replaced by your activity during your job like how many bottles of milk Shinichiro drink that day or how Shinichiro got up and took one step before he fall down the mattress, which you then quickly take a pic and report back to your boss, even though he didn’t ask for it. This job was really rewarding and at the same time hassle-free for you, it's almost like it's not a job, but a part of your lifestyle by now, which was rare for many people to have, and you are glad that after all of that string of bad luck, you’ve finally found a job that not only makes you employed but also gave you a sense of purpose in life as if this is destined for you. 
“Okay Shinichiro, you can do it, come on,” you said to the baby as he warily looked at the floor. You have been encouraging Shinichiro to walk for more than a few steps. You want him to get used to walking and develop his mobility. 
“Ehw ah-” you heard him grumble, not wanting to let go of the leg of the green plastic table. 
“Shini~,” you playfully whined, wanting to encourage him. The baby looked up to you with a worried expression, still expressed on his face. You smiled in defeat as Shinichiro fell onto the padded floor and crawled towards you, wanting you to lift him up. 
“I guess you’re not ready yet, huh?” you said as you cradle the child in your arms, who was burying his head into you, wanting to comfort himself. You smiled at his behavior. You know that someday, Shinichiro would be ready to finally walk a few steps, but not this day. 
You sat on the nearby sofa and cradled Shinichiro to make him fall asleep and for you to clean up the place for the night. Just as you were about to place Shinichiro into his crib, you felt your phone then suddenly vibrate. You gently place Shinichiro in his crib and immediately took out your phone to see who was calling you, and as usual, its Mr. Kurokawa.
“Sorry sir for not answering the call quickly, I was just putting Shinichiro back to his crib,” you said to him, and you heard him let out a mirthful laugh. 
“It's okay Miss (L/N), and also, did I always tell you that you can call me Izana? No need for that sir nonsense” 
You blushed in embarrassment. “I’m sorry S- I mean Izana, I’m still not used to calling you so casually.” 
You heard him on the other line letting out a hum, which made you very nervous. Although he was satisfied with your performance and conduct, you still couldn't shake off your nervousness because of your past experiences- your previous history still lingered in your consciousness like a faint shadow, as if reminding you of your past every time you’ve made even a simple mistake. 
“Hmm, if you can’t get used to it, then can I call you (Y/N) instead? I think that it's unfair for me to call you Ms. (L/N) and me just Izana, and it could shake off that Mr. Kurokawa nonsense in your brain, so what do you say (Y/N), can I call you that?” 
Your eyes widened but let out an okay for an answer.
“Great, (Y/N), sorry for calling you at this hour, I just wanted to check in on my son if he fell asleep already, looks like I was right.” 
“I-is that all sir?” you asked, wanting to know if he wants to ask other questions related to Shinichiro, which you would gladly reply to.
“Ah no, I was also checking up on you, it's quite late and the last midnight train should be going a few minutes now.” Your eyes winded at his words and you looked at the time on your wristwatch. It's true, the midnight train would be in a few minutes and you are quite far away from the train station. “A-ah, I think I’ll just take a cab...” you replied, not wanting to agitate him due to your current situation. 
“No can do (Y/N), there are fewer cabs this time of night and I don’t think that it's safe for you to travel alone during this time, I suggest that you stay at the penthouse guest rooms.”His offer shocked you. You, staying at this place for a night? 
“A-are you sure Si- Izana? I do not want to cause you trouble,” you said, troubled at his generous offer. 
“It's alright! You’ve been an excellent nanny for Shinichiro, he is much better now compared to before, he even whines to me when you are not in there,” he said mirthfully, praising you for your excellent work. 
Shyly blushing at his declaration, you reluctantly agreed to his offer, not wanting to press things further.  “I-if you say so, Mis- Izana.” 
“Great, good night (Y/N) See you tomorrow.” 
He then quickly hung up the call, and you turned off the phone, looking out the glass window of the room. Even though you have been working for Mr. Kurokawa for months now, you still couldn’t get used to it. Unlike before, you now have a job that not only pays you well but also had such a gracious boss that even lets you stay at his house. It's so contrasting compared to your previous jobs and employers, even though some of them are really nice bosses. 
“Okay Shinichiro, I’m going to wash up now, be good okay?” you softly murmur as you look down at the baby in the crib. You always wonder who were the people that would care for Shinichiro while you’re gone. He has always been enthusiastic when you go back to your work, seemingly missing you while you were at home. “Oh god, I can’t leave him behind,” you thought as your mind started to fill with ideas about what is happening while you are gone, even though he is alright when you always see him in the morning, it doesn’t change you not knowing what is happening behind the scenes while you were gone made you nervous and even scared for Shinichiro. 
You shook off your worries and quickly went to the nearest bathroom, which is in the nearby guest room, to wash up yourself. Thankfully, the bathroom had adult clothing and bathrobes. The clothes were tailored for men, which was alright for you since you only wore baggy clothes in your sleep anyway. You took off your black turtleneck shirt and high-waisted pants, revealing you in your plain gray underwear, and quickly took those off too and washed for the night. When you were done, you looked at the clothes on the bathroom cabinet, although there were clothes in there, you just now noticed that there was no underwear, not even for men. This made you flustered and looked at the washed bra and panty that you have taken off earlier. You can’t wear those, you need to wash them to be dry in the morning. You looked down and blushed at yourself as you put on the baggy t-shirt and short pants that were a tad big for you to fit in, but you managed to make it work as you exited the bathroom and the guest room and quickly entered Shinichiro’s room. 
Thankfully, the baby was still sleeping, which means that you didn’t miss anything. You then sigh as you grab a few blankets and pillows and put them on the couch. You sat on the couch and looked at the time, it was almost two am in the morning, which means that you should really be sleeping by now. “Huh, I haven’t been up this late since college,” you thought as you put down your phone on the nearby coffee table and then lay on the couch. You then faced the couch’s cushion and bit by bit, your consciousness started to fade, which eventually puts you to sleep.
A few hours passed by, and you suddenly felt a strange tingling feeling running down your bottom, “Huh?” you mumbled as you felt a wet appendage trailing up to your soft cheeks and unto your clit, licking up a huge stripe. “W-what?” you thought groggily as you tried to look down to see if someone is touching you, but you couldn’t, as if you are paralyzed in your place. The now-identified tongue then started to twirl your clit around for a moment but then a pair of lips suddenly sucked it. “I- ah~ What’s happening?” you exclaimed as a feeling of pleasure then surged throughout your whole body. No, you can’t be feeling good about doing this, you need to get out of here with Shinichiro as fast as you can.
“Hyaa~!” you then mewled as you felt your ass and legs being lifted up by the person and finally tossed the short pants that were dangling on your foot earlier. You felt your assailant’s hot breath on your folds, which made you blush. You felt their fingers gripping your plush thighs as they then started to lick your folds. You wanted it to stop but you couldn’t do anything as the person licked and slurped your cunt as if they hadn't drank water for a long time. You can’t help but finally let out loud moans and mewls as they then finally put their tongue inside your vagina. You felt his hot tongue twirling and retracting it back and forth, fucking you with it. “Ah! Ah! St- Ah~” you moaned as you tried to get this person to stop and let go of you. They stopped, withdrawing their tongue, and finally diving out of your pussy, making you relieved at the moment. But that is proven short-lived as they then quickly shove two of their fingers, fucking you with them. As their fingers are reeling in and out of your pussy, you then hear familiar giggling, almost as if you knew who was doing this to you. The person then started to lap up your juices again, making you moan louder than before. 
Right now, you are a mess of a person, both inside and out. Moaning and panting as you felt their tongue and fingers explore your wet, tight insides. You had masturbated on several occasions and felt good every time you did it but the pleasure that you got from touching yourself wasn’t comparable to this one. This made your cunt hot, wet, and tight all at the same time as foreign appendages roamed your wet caverns and sucked on your now sore clit. The heat pooling on your stomach starts to get unbearable as you feel yourself start to come. “Oh no, I’m gonna I-I’m gonna ahh~” you mewled as you felt yourself cumming onto the person’s face. 
As you finally let out your cum, you just laid on the couch, panting, having no energy to move a single muscle as you felt the person lick and drink up your cum from your pussy and thighs. As you start to drift back to sleep, you felt the person crawling on top of you and whispering into your ear, feeling his hot breath on your skin. 
“Sweet dreams, sugar.” 
Your eyes widened as you recognized the voice. “M-Mr. Kurokawa?” you stuttered, not believing what you are hearing right now. You heard him hum and put his palm on your eyes, closing them gently. “Sleep (Y/N), you need energy for Shinichiro tomorrow,” he whispered, feeling his hot breath as he uttered those words. You slowly drifted into a mindless sleep, numbed by the orgasm you had earlier, feeling too tired to even open your eyes as you felt Izana gently cover you with a soft blanket and planted a kiss on your forehead. 
You let out a loud gasp and got up from your sleep as you then looked out of the clear glass window of the room. You then tossed the blanket out of your body and then looked down at your bottom. Thankfully, you are still fully clothed down there, panties and all. You sighed in relief and checked out your phone - it’s eight in the morning, two hours before your shift. Slumping back down the mattress, you thought about your dreams earlier. You couldn’t help but blush in embarrassment as you recalled the wet dream that involved your boss eating you out while you sleep. You just can’t believe that you just dreamt about your boss that way. Sure, he was a very desirable man, not only for his physique and attractive face but also for his behavior towards his child Shinichiro. But you couldn’t see your boss in that light! Hell, you can’t even see him even jokingly flirting at you in a friendly way, much less him being so possessive over you. 
You then sigh and rub your head. You have a job to do and you have an erotic dream that involved your boss is not going to be helpful. After rubbing your head, you then looked down on your lower half. Although you are sure that is just a dream, you can’t help but have a slight doubt about it because it was so vivid and felt too real. As if that dream of yours really happened. But you shook your head, surely, Mr. Kurokawa is not that type of person to do this. After all, he is so considerate and helpful whenever something has happened during your time at work and he even apologizes and pays you overtime time even though you just stayed more than an hour or so in your shift. Him assaulting you in your sleep is such an absurd thought that it's almost laughable, Mr. Kurokawa is anything but that kind of person. 
But you can’t help thinking, what if it's true? That he did just that while you are so vulnerable? You couldn’t help but shiver at that thought alone. He was such a kind and considerate person to you, and it's so horrifying to think that he would do such things to you. You shook your head in disgust, no, why would he do that to you? With only just his physique, he could attract many women who would willingly sleep with him, even if for just a few hours. Him doing something to you, especially eating you out is such a wild thought. 
While you are deep in your thoughts, Shinichiro let out a loud wail, which snapped you out of your thoughts. You looked at him blankly for a moment before slapping yourself out of it. That’s right- you were only here because you have a job to do, which is taking care of Shinichiro. You shake your head and sigh and quickly get up and walk to his crib. When Shinichiro saw you, he let out his adorable gummy smile, which melted away your dilemma earlier. Smiling, you gently grab Shinichiro and carry him. Mr. Kurokawa would never assault you while you were sleeping - after all, how can a person like that produce such a cute and adorable baby? 
It’s been a few weeks after the wet dream incident, but you still couldn’t shake it off your mind. Although you still do your job earnestly, it also affects your relationship with your boss. You really can’t help but to either freeze or flinch, every time he comes near you the flashes of that dream start to come into your mind like a tidal wave- of you being vulnerable under him, struggling to get him off you as you felt his tongue slithering inside your walls while massaging your clit, getting turned on by your whines and pleads. Which doesn’t help your amiable relationship with your boss as you unconsciously try to avoid him as much as possible while at work, which is not that hard considering he always came back after your shift is done. 
You really tried your best not to be avoidant of your boss, you really did. But you really can’t help but feel uncomfortable and even scared every time he either touches you or gets close to you. You always triedto rationalize it by thinking that he’s your boss and you are afraid that he is going to fire you anytime soon or any other excuses that you might think. But deep down - deep down, you know that it's because of that realistic dream you had, and deep inside, you are afraid that it might be true that Mr.Kurokawa had assaulted you while you slept that night. 
As you were tucking Shinichiro in for the night, you suddenly heard the door open. Looking back, you saw Mr.Kurokawa, who was wearing a dress-like black jumpsuit with silver necklaces and a loose belt. Although he looked so casual, you had a feeling that it's probably not - maybe he’s going out with his friends? 
“O-oh, Mr.Kurokawa! I was just tucking Shinichiro in, I’ll be gone in a minute now.” you said as you tried not to look away from him. 
Your boss just smiled at you.  “No worries Ms.(Y/N)! I was just checking up on my son!” he said in his usual carefree tone that he had. Although you doubted that, you just nodded and continued to tuck the baby into the crib as your boss eerily watched you from behind. When you are finally done, you look back at Mr.Kurokawa and apologize for how late you’ve stayed, and quickly try to get home. But before you do that,  Mr.Kurokawa stopped you and handed you some sort of card in your hand. Not wanting to displease him, you took it and looked at what it was. The curiosity turned into shock when you saw the content. 
M-Mr. Kuroawa! I can’t take this!” You said as you tried to give the card back to your boss, which shook his head, refusing to take it back. 
“You’ve worked for more than eight months in my house with no breaks every day, you deserve this,” he said as you look at him in disbelief. After all, the card that he gave to you is practically a meal pass to one of the most exclusive and expensive restaurants in Tokyo, maybe even in the whole world. 
“Sir, I think that this is too much,” you said, trying to reason with your boss, but he just shook his head- insisting that you keep it. You tried to banter with your boss, trying to get the card back to him but he swiftly turned down your proposals and reasonings, and kept insisting that you keep it. In the end, you accepted the card reluctantly and thank your boss in embarrassment, after that you then say goodbye to him and head out of the penthouse and eventually the building. 
While walking down the streets of Minato, you looked at the card in both fascination and curiosity. It's an exclusive meal pass for Midori. One of the most exclusive restaurants in Tokyo, it's one of the few three-star Michelin restaurants in Tokyo but unlike the other restaurants, Midori operates for only three months in certain seasons, which makes it difficult for people to dine in or book a reservation for the restaurant. You even heard that the yearly customers of Midori could be counted with your fingers - which means that your boss gave you a card that can basically give you an instant pass to enter and eat for free in Midori just because you didn’t take your vacation leave for more than eight months. Which frankly to you is both very generous and simply ridiculous. You know that many rich people in Tokyo would give you a large sum of money just to get this card and some might even blackmail you for it. You sigh in frustration as you feel a headache building up in your head as you keep thinking about what you are going to do with the card.
Sell it?
No, people might think that it's a fake.
Throw it away?
You know that the guilt would eat at you for a very long time.
You kept thinking about what you were going to do about it until you completely gave up on thinking about it. “Fuck it, I’m just going to redeem this, this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience,” you thought as you clutched the card and took out your phone- googling the location of Midori on google maps and quickly heading off to where it is. When you finally arrived at the building where the restaurant was located, you couldn’t help but feel nervous as the two doormen, who strangely recognized you, quickly welcomed you into the restaurant as if you were a very important person.  When you enter the restaurant, one of the waiters quickly walks up to you and asks if you have a reservation - to which you silently reply by giving them the card that Mr.Kurokawa gave to you. The waiter just smiled and gently took the card from your hand, as if they were worried that they might offend you. But you just shook your head, you are just overthinking things since this is your first time in an exclusive Michelin star restaurant, the nerves are maybe getting into you. 
When the waiter grabbed the card, another waiter popped up and guided you inside the restaurant. You followed the waiter to your seat, as you subtly looked around the restaurant. As expected it looked classy and fancy. The restaurant itself has a mix of modern and traditional Japanese architecture, although it is located in the middle of Tokyo, the restaurant has a ginormous Tsukiyama garden that can be seen in the whole restaurant, giving the restaurant a much more traditional touch. 
When you are finally seated by the waiter, You couldn’t help but feel awkward at the situation as you are the only one in the whole restaurant as there are practically no people in sight. You tried to find a positive outlook in the situation that you are in, hey, at least there are no snobby people that would judge you, right?
As you tried to assess your situation, the server quickly came back and gave you the tasting menu of the restaurant and explained some of the dishes that are written there, which made you nervous since you only knew a few of the items in the restaurant. You just decided to pick the strangest named dishes on the menu, hoping that the dishes that you’ve picked would taste good. The server then jolts down your order as you put the menu on the table. When they are done they cautiously take away the menu and then bowed, saying that your complimentary appetizer would be on its way. 
The eighteen-meal course came one by one as you started to eat, some are familiar dishes presented to you such as sushi and sashimi that you know came from expensive cuts of fish while others are western inspired dishes that you couldn’t figure out how to eat but just decided to wing it and eat it anyway. As expected, the dishes are fantastic, and sure, most of them could be eaten in just one bite but the whole course will make you full since the meal was an eighteen-meal course and not just the usual one dish or two that you usually buy when going out. While eating, there was something bothering you at the moment. There were no problems with the dishes since they were all fantastic and the servers were very professional, but there was an eerie feeling while you're eating in the restaurant, as if the servers were afraid of making a mistake or offending you in some way. You tried to comfort yourself by saying that it's just the nervousness of not only dining in a fancy restaurant but also being the only customer dining there but your gut says otherwise, as if something is going on. 
But still, you silently ate the dishes that the server explained before serving them to you, just wanting to enjoy the rare experience while ignoring the nagging feeling in your gut. When you finally ate the last dish, two servers appeared in front of you, one cleaning out the dirty utensils on the table while the other poured you a glass of wine.  The server who poured you the wine explained what wine it is and how old or what kind of fragrant and texture it has. Apparently, it's a 1968 Bruno Giacosa Collina Rionda wine from Italy, one of the finest wines that they have on their shelves right now.
When the server places the wine glass on the table, you then hold the stem of the glass and curiously sniff the wine, before taking a sip. But before you can finish the whole glass, you start to get dizzy - your vision blurring and you trying to hold on to the table, afraid of falling into the floor. But it's no use as your body slumps down on the ground, causing the half-sipped wine glass to break and it's content to spill into the ground. 
As your vision darkened, you saw two men, who were in suits walking toward your form, “Hurry up Rin, the boss would be angry if we took too much time,” you heard one of the men say while the other just hummed in response. You felt yourself being carried by one of them, you aren’t sure who is carrying you since you are barely strong enough to see. As you start to fall unconscious you hear a familiar person that made your blood freeze in fear. 
“Be careful with her, Izana wouldn’t want her to be injured.” 
“K-Kakucho?” That name was in your final thoughts as you slipped out of consciousness, not strong enough to fight it any longer. 
Your eyes opened slowly as you woke up with your head aching, and although you were awake, you still couldn’t really feel anything around you due to you being drugged earlier. As you started to get a grip of your consciousness, you couldn’t help but be shocked when you finally saw what was going on. 
“M-mister Kurokawa?” You looked up at him, grunting and moaning as you felt your cunt being penetrated by his dick, you can’t help but moan as he keeps pounding your pussy into oblivion. “Ah, (Y/N) you’re awake,” he said as he continued slamming his long dick into your tight walls, rhythmically keeping up his pace as your confused face contorted into pleasure. Although it felt pleasurable by his actions, you can’t help but feel betrayed and hurt as the person that you’ve looked up to did this to you. You should’ve listened to your guts and kept your distance from him as much as possible or even outright quit the job even if you struggled to find one. 
Tears rolled down your cheeks as you kept thinking about maybe’s or what-ifs, as his cock kept stretching your wet but tight pussy. “Princess, don’t cry, I’m here to make it better,” you heard him say as he wiped away your tears and kissed your lips, entering his tongue into your mouth as his pace feverishly started to get faster. While his tongue swirled with yours inside your mouth, twirling your tongue with his, you suddenly felt a sudden jolt down there- it seems that his dick hit a specific place that you couldn’t help but moan in pleasure. 
When he heard your loud but unwilling moan, he stopped his movement and ended the kiss, which made you confused at first until he started to take his dick off of you until its tip is the only thing inside.  He then quickly buckled his hips and slammed his cock into your pussy all the way into its hilt. You couldn’t help but loudly moan as you felt him pounding you like an animal, his dick continuously hitting that spot. “Sh-shtop-” you slurred as you felt his dick getting bigger inside you. But he ignored your pleas as he quickly slammed his dick back into your pussy, making you flinch in pleasure while shutting you up in the process. 
“Ah~ (Y/N) your pussy is clenching my dick so hard,” he moaned as you felt his dick start to twitch while also feeling the heat and pleasure bubbling up inside you.
“S-top, please Mr.Kurokawa-”
You were cut off by your boss as his sharp gaze looked at you, and although his lilac eyes are soft, you couldn’t help but see another expression in his eyes. 
“Don’t call me that, call me Izana,” he said as he kept his eyes locked on yours. If this wasn’t an unwanted situation, you ought that this would have been very romantic, but right now - it's the opposite of that. 
“M-Mr, Haaah~” you moaned, not even saying his name as he pinched your sensitive clit.
“No, Mr.nonsense, just call me by my name,” he said, as you desperately looked up at him, wanting this to end. 
“I-Izana, s-s-top, I’m gonna -”
You saw him smile knowingly as he kept pounding in and out of your cunt. 
“Gonna what princess?” he teased.
You can’t help but cry in pleasure as you felt yourself cumming all over his dick as you clench his back for support, your eyes rolling back in pleasure. After your orgasm, you felt him start to quicken his pace, continuing that feverish phase from before. With a few strong and quick thrusts, he unloads his cum inside your tight walls, moaning in pleasure as your pussy milked his dick for all its worth while you lay there panting; your naked form twitching and convulsing in overstimulation due to the climax earlier. 
As he finished cumming inside you and pulling his dick out of your insides, you then looked up to him, tears rolling down your eyes. 
“P-please, l-let me go,” you said as you fruitlessly tried to get away from him. When he saw you trying to move away, he quickly grabbed both of your thighs and spread them, making your pussy, which was still twitching while oozing with his semen, visible to his view. 
“Look at you, after you milked my dick, your pussy still wants my cock so bad,” he said as he used his finger to push the semen back inside your cunt, making your toes curl due to your body being sensitive. 
“I- please Izana, I won’t tell anyone about this” you plead, wanting your boss to let you go. He stops as you look at his expression, his expression now turned dour by your words. “Or what (Y/N)? You will quit and go back fruitlessly trying to find a job?” your eyes widened in shock at his words. He let his finger out of your walls but kept his hands on your knees, still spreading your legs apart. 
“H-how did you know that?” you stuttered as he kept his gaze at your naked form, smiling at your question. 
“I run background checks on all of my employees (Y/N), especially for the one that would be taking care of my child,” he replied as you looked down in shame. 
He continued. “Do you want to go back to that lifestyle (Y/N)? On the verge of being homeless with no one to turn on or help you?” You tearfully looked away, feeling your heart clench, it's true, all of his words are true. Izana saw your forlorn expression and gently touched your cheeks making you look up at him again. “It doesn’t have to be that way (Y/N), you have Shinichiro and me, you don’t have to be lonely anymore,” he said as he gently hugged you. You couldn't help but start sobbing on his chiseled chest. “There, there,” you heard him mumble as he caressed your back trying to soothe you.
The two of you stayed there for a while until you felt his dick harden inside of you again. “(Y/N),” you looked up to Izana who was smiling at you. “Can I?” he asked as you felt his dick twitching inside your pussy. Without a care in the world, you nodded and then spread your cum filled pussy with both of your hands, worldlessly coercing him. As he starts to move again, he smiled and look at you. 
“I love you, (Y/N), I really do.” 
Your dull eyes looked at him, not minding the situation anymore. Smiling, you hugged his neck and gently kissed his lips. “I love you too Izana,” you replied earnestly. As you felt his hips start to move again, you can’t help but feel nothing anymore. He’s right, there is nothing for you out there, no family, friends and barely finding a job, who is the person that took you in? That’s right, It's Miste- no,  Izana. He’s the one that gave you every opportunity that you desperately needed and on top of that, Shinichiro gave you purpose again, he would be lonely without you. 
With that in mind, you tightened your grip as Izana bucked his hips down on you, pounding you into the mattress as your pussy started to clench tightly around his dick. It’s alright, as long as you have Izana and Shinichiro, it doesn’t bother you anymore. 
You finally have people that would be with you.
You are not alone anymore.
As you slip into pleasure once more, you couldn’t help but feel like something broke inside of you- no matter what it was, it's just a minor inconvenience anyway. 
4K notes · View notes
lonelyl00n · 6 months ago
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(yandere! ghost husband x gn! reader)
In many asian cultures,
it is taught to people to not touch any offerings or money that is left on the ground.
For if you do so,
you shall be married to a dead person.
however, you chose not to heed these warnings and picked up a heavy wad of cash that was left on the sidewalk of a forest.
you picked it up, happily thinking it was just some rich guy who dropped his money while on a nature walk, that you got lucky enough to stumble upon his secret stash.
so you brought it home with you, thinking of all the wonderful things you'd buy with this newfound money you got.
unfortunately, that was just the start of many unexplainable things that begun to happen to you.
"dude can you not close my door?! I'm trying to go on a date!"
you yell at the air, staring at your door which suddenly slammed shut. it had been a few weeks since these events had started occuring. and events as in, random paranormal events. yes, paranormal.
it all started when you found that thick wad of cash on the sidewalk of some asian country and brought it back home with you. you thought you were lucky to have stumbled upon such treasure. like, holy shit that's a few hundred thousand of dollars!
yet the second you stepped foot inside your house, chills ran down your spine and you couldn't help but feel absolutely scared to enter your home.
but you simply shrugged it off, thinking you were just overthinking and worrying over nothing. must be the scary asian ghost stories you heard.
you should've went to the exorcist the second you felt that gut instinct though.
because as the days went by, your lights started turning in and off by itself, your house would be cleaned meticulously even when it looked like a fucking dumpsite a few hours before, and more importantly, you'd start hearing voices of a man who claimed to be 'your husband'.
at first you wondered if you were schizophrenic. holy shit, were you hallucinating right now? why the hell was there this attractive voice that kept on talking to you from time to time?
but it wasn't you being schizophrenic, unfortunately.
for what you were experiencing was very much real. there was now a ghost in your house, or rather around you, that would not leave no matter how hard you tried.
and you came to live with it, until today.
why? because you were about to go on a date with this super sexy guy but then this... this ghost husband wouldn't let you!
freaking slammed the door when you tried leaving! like who even does that?!
"ugh, you're being unreasonable!"
you yell at the air, glaring angrily as you place your hands on your hips. you didn't know where this ghost husband of yours was, but you did know he was near you. i mean, the temperature drop was a clear sign that he was.
"me? unreasonable?"
ah, there he was.
you turn around to face the aur, glaring angrily as you feel your skin prickling. his voice came from behind you and he was whispering into your ear. he always likes to do that, you noticed. speaking from behind.
"yeah, you! dude i just want to get laid!"
you reply in irritation, hands on your hips as you shake your head. you wait for his reply, pursuing your lips angrily before shrieking as you feel him blow cold air against your nape.
"but you have me, don't you?"
"well I don't want you! I didn't know you'd come together with the money! and I can't even use the money..."
you mumble off, shivering slightly as you continue to glare at the air. god damn it, so much talk about being your husband and you don't even know how he looks like! heck, you can't even see him!
"I don't even know how you look like! how could you prevent me from going on a date with this sexy guy-"
in the middle of your complaint, you suddenly yelp as an attractive male, albeit a translucent one, stares right at you, an unamused face as he looks you down.
"well you can see me now."
he mumbles, arms folded across his chest as he glares back at you.
your mouth is dry, cheeks slightly pink as you stare at the man. holy moly! you have a hot husband?!
"holy cow! you're hot?"
"what's that supposed to mean?"
you stare at the male, jaw dropping before you slap your face and look him up and down. he was clad in a traditional outfit, looking expensive and absolutely drop dead gorgeous- well he's dead but... gorgeous!
"damn okay, I won't go on that date..."
you drool slightly, moving away from your door as you continue staring at your ghost husband dumbly, giggling as you walk past him onto the couch.
"of course you won't. you're already married to me."
your husband follows after you, a cold aura following him wherever he went, chilling the area. thankfully the heat in your body helped to warm you up.
"why didn't you show me your face earlier? you're so sexy..."
"well you never asked."
he shrugs before floating over to you and resting his head in your lap. his eyes look into yours, a lovesick expression in his eyes as he traces his translucent hand into your skin, making the area tingle slightly.
you stare down at him, pursing your lips before giggling stupidly and blushing. damn, you really did have a hot husband. even though he's dead, he's still your husband! you only wish he was alive... then maybe you two could get dirty and-
"you know i can still pleasure you right?"
the ghost suddenly deadpans, looking right at you as though he had read your thoughts. you blink at him, not registering his words before you suddenly choke on air and look away.
"oh, are you choking? don't die yet... i like your body heat."
your husband suddenly moves away from your lap, getting up to pat your back in a pitiful attempt to relieve you from your choking fit. all you felt while you coughed was the tingling sensation of cold hands.
"damn you can't just say stuff like that-"
"but you were thinking about it, no? i can hear your thoughts, you know."
you proceed to choke on air again, having yet another coughing fit as your ghost husband continues to pat your back with his cold ghostly hands.
"oh my god just kill me now... this is so embarrassing-"
"no, i already said i like your body heat and you can't die yet."
you immediately shut up, staring at the ghostly male with dead eyes.
before you know it, you're walking to your kitchen to grab a knife to kill youself just to spite him. but of course, you were stopped by your husband who immediately wrestles the knife away from you, smacking your head painfully hard before dragging you back to the couch where he begins to suck your warmth away like a leech.
damn him, maybe you should get an exorcist.
"you know i can hear your thoughts right? you're not getting rid of me."
damn him, you really are going to get an exorcist.
"what? darling i just said no!"
you're getting an exorcist.
2K notes · View notes
lonelyl00n · 6 months ago
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Lost | JJK
➳ Pairing: yandere!kidnapper!jk x kidnapped!fem!reader
➳ Genre: Yandere, Angst
➳ Warnings: Swearing, kidnapped reader, jungkook is a bit violent to the reader, implied stalking, implied past assaults, Dub-con/Non-Con kissing and touching, Jungkook degrades the reader, drugging (sleeping pills), implied overdose to kill, suicidal thoughts, hair pulling, and scratches...
➳ Synopsis: When you try to escape from your captor's home one more time, there's always this feeling of lostness, and you don't know why but always feel lost. Lost in thoughts, lost in false hope, and lost in the woods with him.
➳ Word Count: 3k+
➳ Disclaimer: This fanfic is purely from my imagination, I do not intend to harm any Idol or person in any way. Nor sexualising them. Please do not steal any ideas from here, this is all of my work and original work. I DO NOT CONDONE THIS BEHAVIOUR.
Lost ©Copyright -2024- themochiverse - All Rights Reserved
No part of the story can be copied, reproduced, redistributed or transformed into any other form. Meaning no photocopying, recording whether written or electrically. No methods are allowed that use anything from this fic. This follows in the permitted Copyright Law. All images and/or gifs go to their rightful owners.
A/N: Finally wrote something in a while, hope you guys like it :)) Also please don't read if you feel uncomfortable, warnings have been listed above.
Taglist; @minshookie29 @6tslovr @proflyndo @pinkcherrybombs @papijiminfeed @justanotherstarlightmonger @kittykatfey @princess-sunshyn @jinniesjoon94
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The dim light in the room emitted a warm, orangish-yellow glow, enveloping the space as your fingers were scratching the corner of a table. The gentle hue seemed to intensify the temperature, wrapping you in a sultry embrace, and causing beads of sweat to form on your skin. As the light flickered softly, your heart thudded in your chest, the rhythm echoing in the stillness of the room.
You gulped, and your foot impatiently tapped the wooden floorboards and it immediately stopped once you heard his footsteps. Your gaze was fixated on the corner of the table— you didn't want to look up.
You wanted to ignore him, wanted to ignore that bile feeling in your stomach that made you nauseous. His boots stomped across the room, getting closer to you and your fingers intensified the scratching.
Jungkook dipped his head towards your neck, his warm breath gently brushing over your skin, as it sent a shiver down your spine. His hands were tangled in the locks of your hair, and he pulled it gently. He kissed the side of your neck and rested his chin on your head.
"Food's cold."
Your eyes darted to the plate of food he had given you not long ago, and you hadn't touched it since he left for some errands. Normally you would eat the meals he made for you but your mind was eating you up, the constant thought of him possibly knowing you tried to escape last night.
But how would he know? Even if you had slipped a pill into his meal, which knocked him out for about thirty minutes, how would you escape? When you opened the front door the chilly air that hit you caused you to blink several times.
You were free. You finally get to leave.
But as you took the first step outside, your eyes scanned the tall trees that decorated the entire area. Your heart sank. You couldn't get out of this place because you don't know how to.
Where would you go even if you had run deep into the woods? Would you even find a road? A path that could lead you to a sane person? You tried to reason with yourself as you looked back inside. This was your chance to get away from a monster like him, you could report him to the police and go back to your family and friends...
But what if he found you? What if you were lost, and by the time he woke up and figured out you were gone, what would he do? He'd go berserk, and he will find you. You don't know why but you're certain of it. You don't know the woods very well unlike him.
Jungkook knows his way around this deserted place, he's lived in this small cabin for years now, and he held you captive for months now. Of course, he would know, he prepared it just for you. What if you died while trying to escape? What if—
You closed the door as your back rested against it. You were so pathetic, so hopeless.
You stood up and walked up the creaky stairs, entering the bedroom where Jungkook was sleeping on. The effect of the pill even had such good timing that it hit him when he was getting ready for bed with you anyway.
Yet, you wasted it.
A scream was lodged in your throat, and your lips trembled. You hated to cry, but you couldn't help it. The warm tears trailed down your face as you crawled onto the bed.
Kill him.
Your own mind spoke to you, and your breaths shook as you heard your next words.
Go on. Wrap your hands around his neck, and kill him.
Decorate him like a bow on a present, and kiss his lips until you can't breathe anymore.
Your eyes widened when your hands were on his neck. They squeezed the fragile base, and you could feel his pulse. Slow and rhythmic, and it matched the quiet breaths he let out.
You inspected his face, and his hair fell on the top of his eyebrows, his eyelids were shut and his lips were parted open.
He was demented, a cruel person. You won't ever forget the things he did to you, how you felt so humiliated because of him. He took you away from your loved ones just so he could selfishly keep you and show his immense love curated just for you.
But you still couldn't do it.
You pulled your hands away quickly and Jungkook's fingers twitched. There wasn't much time left till he woke up. If you killed him, you would have won and lost at the same time.
You had no idea where you were, and there was no cell reception for you to call anyone. How would you prepare food, and fend for yourself? You don't even know a pathway that could help you to leave this damn forest. What would you do without him? But at least he would be gone.
You sighed and wiped your tears away, and you curled up next to him. You don't know why but your hands automatically reached out to play with his hair until you fell asleep. You don't know why but there was a part of you that didn't want to leave him.
You snapped back into reality once you felt Jungkook slither his arms down your shoulders as he murmured softly.
"Come to the bedroom with me, baby."
You didn't hesitate to follow behind him, and even if you didn't want to come he'd force you to anyway. Jungkook shut the door once you stepped inside the bedroom, and he took off his leather jacket before he put it back on again.
He sat on the edge of the bed and checked out the dress you wore for him. A white mini dress adorned with white laced straps, and the soft, flimsy part stopped on your thighs midway. The embodiment of the outfit hugged your structure beautifully like a doll, and Jungkook couldn't control his growing desire for you.
He patted his lap, and his words came out in a command.
"Sit."
You took a step forward, and Jungkook grabbed your waist, making you sit down on his lap. One arm was wrapped around your waist tightly, and his other hand gripped your chin. Your faces were inches away from each other as Jungkook stared at you intently.
"You wanna tell me something, beautiful?"
Dear god no..
You shook your head at him, watching his lips form into a frown.
"Don't lie to me sweetheart, you know I don't like lying."
His tone had turned serious, and your stomach churned uncomfortably. Jungkook shuffled his arm to get something from his pocket, and he retrieved the item, showing it to you.
"What were these doing under the bed, baby?"
He shook the container filled with sleeping pills, (blue and white) and your fingers dug into his shoulders firmly. Your eyes were filled with terror, and panic flooded in your veins.
Jungkook chuckled at your reaction, and he brought your chin closer to his face. You were forced to stare at him, to look into the eyes that frightened you almost every day, no matter how loving he tried to be.
They were crazed...a look you never wanted to see. His tongue peeked out from his lips, and it traced the silver piercing that was on the flesh of his lips.
"You really think you knocked me out last night?"
Your heart banged against your ribcage, and your breathing increased. He can't know, he can't, he can't, he can't-
"Did you think I wouldn't notice the little act of you wanting to cook for me all of a sudden? Huh?"
Jungkook squeezed your cheeks harshly, and his lips moved against your cheek.
"I wanted to play along. Give you that feeling of being triumphant over something ridiculous. You really are a fool, aren't you?"
Your eyes darted away from his, and your hands were off his shoulders. You yelped softly when you felt him push you even further into him, your chests touching each other as he made sure he held you more securely.
His hand flew to your neck, and he grabbed it roughly, and his nails dug into your skin.
"Eyes on me when I'm fucking talking to you. And don't even think about fighting back." Jungkook's eyes narrowed and darkened as he spoke right against your quivering lips.
Your heart was beating rapidly, and you felt suffocated as if the smoke from a wildfire was in the room. He found out...Jungkook found out.
"When you tried to choke me- honestly...I was surprised. But I knew you didn't have it in you. You wanna know why? It's because you're a fucking pussy, baby. You don't have the guts to kill someone."
A laugh vibrated wholeheartedly from his chest and you felt his cold hand drawing circles on your thigh. He put his lips towards your neck, taking a long inhale before he spoke again.
"You were such a good girl a couple of days ago, what happened to that good little girl who listened to me? Hm?"
You wanted to get out of his grip so bad. Your palms, slick with fear adhered to his shirt like trembling moths ensnared in the silky strands of a spider's web. Your delicate touch betrayed the intensity of your uneasiness with each shuddering breath you took.
Jungkook pulled away from you, a sudden thought coming to his mind. He stops drawing circles on your thighs, and he tilts his head slightly.
"I'm going to give you a chance to run away, okay?"
No.
"Gonna count till...thirty, and you're going to run into those woods as fast as you can."
Stop.
"If I find you..." his hands slide up on the side of your body, arms encircling around your back, "I'm gonna shove these down your pretty little throat, got it?"
Jungkook motioned to the sleeping pill container, sending a wave of goosebumps flying over you, and the hairs on your neck stood as you took a solid gulp. He leaned in, pressing his lips against yours before he pulled away. His arms loosened around your back, brushing your hair away from your face. He lowered his forehead against yours, murmuring softly.
"One."
"Two."
"Three."
For a moment, you were in a daze, lost in his eyes, captured in them. You didn't want to leave since he was probably messing around with you. You couldn't help but continue to stare at his doe eyes as your reflection glowed inside those dark eyes.
How were you so lost in them? Lost in the eyes of a man who kidnapped you, claiming he loved you. You were lost in your life, alone with no proper companion. Your life was already ruined, and you ached to be loved by someone. That's why he took you because he had a reason, and you didn't have a reason to deny it. You needed someone, and Jungkook claimed that he was the one.
He's observed you before, and you caught his eyes like a hawk once you bumped into him on your way to work. That's why he was able to snatch you on a cold Winter night, and he caught you, his prey, so easily. Why? You were lost, just lost in reality, lost in your depressive thoughts, and lost in love. You were just a poor girl lost in her delusions and wondering if your life would have been different if you had chosen the right decisions. You didn't notice him walking behind you, advancing on you before you could even utter a single scream.
It was an impulse and before you knew it your lips attached to Jungkook's moving ones. You grabbed onto his shirt, kissing him with soft movements.
Kissing him till you couldn't breathe anymore.
His hand was tangled in your hair and he pulled you closer, tilting your head to deepen the kiss. It was like Jungkook got the message, you wanted some hope, false hope to be exact. His tongue prodded at your lips before it slipped inside, and your body was growing hot as you both made out.
You almost let out a whine when he sucked and nipped on your bottom lip before he pulled away. You watched the way his chest rose and fell before a breathy laugh escaped his lips. His eyes scanned your face, and Jungkook grinned. He brought his hand to your face, wiping fresh tears off your face.
You were crying? Of course, just lost again but lost with him in an intimate moment.
He cupped your face, and his head beckoned to the door.
"Still haven't finished yet, baby, I'm close to twenty, you sure you don't wanna run now?"
You let out a quiet sniffle, getting off of him and once you left the room you sprinted down the stairs. You didn't bother to put your shoes on as you ran into the woods, your white socks already muddied. You ran and ran, and this time you noticed yourself crying. Why has your life turned into this? Why did you kiss him?
Your body shook with each step you took and each shuddering breath made you want to give up. It was completely dark, and the tall trees engulfed the entire area. There was barely any light, how were you even going to get away from him? The wind blew harshly over your face as you slowed down, stopping at a trail that seemed endless.
You wanted to laugh, but why did you even attempt to escape yesterday? Why did you even think about escaping in the first place? You know what happens, Jungkook has taught you several times but you just don't stop. Your life was shitty, your family disowned you because you were a disappointment to them. Your friends were toxic and fake, and you were alone. And you hated that.
Is that why you kissed him?
You kissed him because he was the only person who knew what your life was like, you kissed him because you were scared or maybe you kissed him because you were lost in the emotions you felt about him, and about yourself. There were moments when you were sad, and the next when you felt angry, rebellious, hopeless, irritated and lost.
Just run.
Just fucking run and stop thinking.
You're getting lost in your thoughts again, and he was going to catch you if you didn't stop now.
So you ran, and your heart was throbbing in your ears. Twigs snapped, birds cawed and for a second you thought you heard Jungkook.
You could hear another set of footsteps behind you, and the realisation dawned upon you. He's right behind you. You forced yourself to run even faster, ignoring the cuts that were plastered on your skin. You were running out of breath and your legs wobbled, they began to ache. You can't give up when you've come this far.
You can hear him getting closer to you. When you looked up straight ahead, there was a faint light that glowed uphill. A light! It could be a car, a home, or somebody. You bit your lip as you tried to go uphill, the pain in your feet grew as you stepped on sharp twigs and debris, desperately trying to climb up. You squinted your eyes to see a road, and your hope grew instantly.
You could leave, you could find someone and call for help, you could finally get away from him—
Jungkook's arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you back against his chest. A scream erupted from your throat, and you thrashed in his hold.
No— you were right there, you were about to escape.
A sob broke from your lips as you kicked your legs, doing anything to get out of his hold. His lips brushed over the shell of your ear, his hold on you tightening.
"Shh," his voice didn't soothe whatever you felt right now, "if you fight me back, I swear I'll make it worse for you."
The threat hung in the air, and it immediately made you stop your movements. Jungkook pushed you down to the forest floor, the wet soil coated your white dress, and this time the scratches stung even more.
"I was going to take you back, but look how far you made it. Almost made it out of here." A smirk formed on his lips as he took out the sleeping pill container.
"How does three sound?"
His words were a blur to your ears as you stared into the far distance. The light was still glowing brightly and soon a car drove by. You sobbed and your nails dug into the ground. Just a bit more time and you would've been free.
You felt the back of your head yanked up, and Jungkook's hand tugged your hair as you glared at him with furious eyes.
Jungkook whistled, smiling as he popped open the container.
"Don't look at me like that, you should have left the moment I started to count."
Your eyes fell to the water bottle next to him and that's when it hit you. Jungkook giggled at your reaction as he unscrewed the lid on the bottle.
"Came prepared because I knew my girl would get lost in these woods pretty fast, and far."
One hand gripped your jaw, and Jungkook pushed the pills inside your mouth. And he gave the bottle to you.
He wanted you to do it because he knew that you knew you lost. Your hands squeezed the bottle, and you brought it to your lips before chugging a good amount to swallow the pills.
"Did you say three?"
You asked him with a hopeless look.
"I lied," he said, watching you with a gleam on his face, "and gave you two instead because I don't want to kill you."
You wanted to laugh at that, maybe you should have just taken three. The effects soon hit you, and your eyes became sluggish, and your eyes blurred with tears. You lost your grip on the floor, and Jungkook swooped you into his arms effortlessly. His face was blurred as he was taking you back to the cabin. Just before your body shut down, right before your tears escaped and your eyes closed, Jungkook murmured to himself quietly, and a mixed feeling of hope and happiness washed over him.
"You're lost again, baby."
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lonelyl00n · 6 months ago
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i have an idea… y’all wanna see ice skater!reader x hockey player!geto..?
it’s here!
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