#ive been suffering
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stan & mabel from the dinosaur episode :DD
i recently finished gravity falls (im so normal about them)
SOBBING
#gravity falls#ive been suffering#AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUgh#stanley pines#mabel pines#gravity falls fanart#stan pines#the stanley parable#gravity falls mabel
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i am literally a fic writer. I should be the change i want to see in the world. I WILL SINGLE HANDEDLY REPOPULATE THE THOMSLEEP TAG ON AO3.
#sanders sides#sanders shorts#thomsleep#i have multiple thomsleep fics that have been stuck in wip hell for YEARS#i promise ive been trying#my fav au ive made worldbuilding wise atleast is one of these fics stuck in wip hell#ive restarted it twice im gonna restart a thrid time#ive been suffering#sasha caws
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having hayfever and a chest infection at the same time is actual hell
0/10 do not recommend
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How did I not know until yesterday that SEVEN OUT OF EIGHT planets were in retrograde….and here I was just waiting on Venus-
#my mom said it so casually to like BITCH#IVE BEEN SUFFERING#this has been like the worst summer of my life 😭#nia.txt
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I Will get swtor achievements.
#shitpost#im entering like. actual grind mode again#all the pvp season stuff adn galactic seasons stuff is 0 points#ive been Suffering#anyways. working on my veteran mode flashpoint stuff again. burning tf through#i have 65000 achievement points#and i really want to get to 69k because THEN i have 10k left
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billions must yuri
#someone on twt followed menwith the name shihosakis and i got possessed#more of a polyneed / ichisaki guy myself but what canni say when its yuri its yuri#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#proseka#leo/need#saki tenma#shiho hinomori#shihosaki#I 💙 LEONEEEEED#i have stufff due tonightttt i should go work onnnn but i want to drawwwwwww#its fineeee to focus on work i put on the same isat playthroughs ive seen 600 times and then sif suffers for me andni feel better#and the sooner i finish my work the sooner i can make fried rice for dinner. FRIED RICE ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#been busy. planning something with the oomfs. if ur a pjsk fan in the toronto area Watch out....
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Friends in every universe
#philza#philza fanart#technoblade#technoblade fanart#emerald duo#sorry ive been horribly nostalgic recently and need to drag people with my suffering#wish i was there at their peak#but i will settle for my dear bedrockbros days <3
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sunset savannah event is killing me rn tbh
#ive screamed about the 5 seconds of screentime kalim got to everyone ik for a whole 2 hours#bawled cried inconsolable#hes so joyful#its been so long welcome back kalim in event story#look at him!! so joyful in the face of pain and suffering in the world#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#kalim al asim#twst fanart#twst kalim
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how pyrrha could've lived
(alt serious version + cartoon close up below cut)
#rwby#pyrrha nikos#jaune arc#rwby fanart#pyrrha lived au#been missing drawing rwby so i picked something from the rwbysketches idea bin#ive been trying to get more into drawing lighting 🥰#mod suffering
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mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.
now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.
He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.
(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)
The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.
The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.
And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.
(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)
The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.
anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)
#mxtx svsss#svsss au#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#svsss#*points at SQQ/SY* i want him to go nuts. as a treat. let him crumble just a little over the stress of his fate and the stress of survival#and the stress of having a lack of autonomy over a handful of his decisions. starry craves angst and she craves a very specific SQQ angst#he was a number 1 hater back in the day and lbr being a hater takes energyyyy. ive heard that this man was the BIGGEST hater i wanna#see him rip a man to shreds with nothing but his tongue and a voice that could cut marble clean in half. skin a man alive sqq you deserve i#*mortal kombat voice* FINISH HIM#i love without-a-cure but unfortunately i dont think SQQ would be able to have WAC and also survive in the abyss.#the succubi nest that adopted him tried seducing him at first. it didn't work. but he did somehow charm them with his cringefail ways#so now they have a brand new mortal big/little brother to dote on. SQQ is frankly delighted to learn all about succubi culture that doesnt#revolve around sex. he makes quite a few friends/allies in the abyss because of his pure fascination and unbiased desire to learn about#demonic culture and all the different niches and nuances of it across species. he's still going insane tho. like that's not stopping.#there's a single LBH pov chapter in the fic and its frankly so unhinged it was fantastic. he's so possessive. he straight up goes:#'oh SQQ isnt gonna be the next peak lord. he's ascending to heaven with me when i do :)' when Sha Hualing (also peak lord) told him that he#couldn't keep his disciple in the bamboo house all the time. what was SQQ gonna do when LBH ascends and he becomes the new peak lord?#gosh that first chapter is rotating around in my mind so bad. LBH was SO unwell. like losing his actual shit over SQQ near the edge.#i so want to write a oneshot abt this where SQQ is also in hysterics (albeit over slightly diff reasons) and tells LBH on his knees:#'this disciple deeply apologizes to his shizun. for he will not be ascending to the heavens with him.' right before he falls into the abyss#this au being disciple SY is for shits and giggles but i can also see it happening for regular SQQ bc 'fuck it im a dead man either way'#frothing at the mouth at this idea also being a SY-is-SJ au too. for the extra angst of SQQ trying to bear the weight of multiple lives on#his shoulders and trying to figure out what is real and what isn't and if he's meant to suffer in all of his lives no matter what he does.#not once in his life has he ever been free to do what he likes has he? self-hatred to the max. he's going mad. poor boy :]
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thoughts on hellfire gala charles? i’m obsessed with that design
Design Wise if we mean the one by lucas werneck, theeen...... i have no clue im divided on it honestly LOL
i like the halo idea, im just not sure im totally sold on the whole execution...
ive always wanted to draw it tho so. have a scribbly if you may :)
bonus cause i need to hang him up like a set of keys
#xmen#charles xavier#professor x#xmen comics#krakoa#snap sketches#take a shot everytime i draw a mfer reaching for the camera. hes projecting his period cramps onto me is that why ive been suffering lately#but yeah idk. im not sure exactly what makes me itch about it its just noootttt my favorite. BUT ITS NOT BAD just not my favorite#if we mean the Other yellow gala outfit he wore that matched eriks .... i think i like that one a lil more#nvm i just looked at it and the collar bit still makes me laugh bro what IS THAT. its still cute tho. i think. needa look at it more....#ill have to draw THAT design some day. with erik preferably. but thats for another day#anyways. should i eat? i should eat. if at least leave my room so i can pick up a package#ohhh but im not hungry ..... maybe ill have dinner later at least
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Make you mine
#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#dragon age fanart#lucanis x spite#lucanis dellamorte#spite#shibari#shibari art#yandere spite#ok…back to drawing cute art#ive been sinning tooo much 🫣#yandere demon#forgive me Lucanis for making you suffer this time…😔#no shibari option on my other account
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ugh anthy is so good. nearly every single other story I've seen about a Mysterious and Tragic teenage girl has failed in some way either because the writer forgot to give the character complexity and an internal life, or because the tragic things in her life were far too aestheticized to have real teeth. anthy succeeds as a character largely because the whole story is dedicated to deconstructing an aestheticized view of her & her suffering, and also showing how that aestheticized view dehumanizes her and denies her agency. she is not a harmless victim or a beautifully agonized one - she is a teenage girl who is reacting in realistic, complex ways to a lifetime of crushing systemic abuses. and similarly, every teenage girl around her is also reacting in complex ways to their own suffering under patriarchy.
depiction of sad teenage girls often posit their pain as a natural phenomenon, something that is just intrinsic to girlhood. adding a layer of mystique onto them just further serves to obfuscate the sources of teen girl suffering. instead, teenage girl pain becomes palatable. consumable, even. #aesthetic. these depictions are unthreatening because, by their nature, they cannot depict societal issues in a way that would demand a restructuring of society. we can posit a familial tragedy but not a tragedy of the family structure. we can lament a beautifully mentally ill sufferer but not the systems of wellness and community that failed her. et cetera. nothing can ever hold up an uncomfortable mirror, only a flattering one.
revolutionary girl utena directly says that that idea is bullshit and that its teenage girls are suffering as a direct result of entrenched systematic oppression. and in that uncomfortable honesty, it's able to be WAY more authentically hopeful with its sad teenage girls. anthy is able to finally walk out of the society that trapped her and live freely of the image that was constructed around her! she can be a flawed human girl who is still going to be happy with her girlfriend! her victimhood is not eternal and does not mean she can never find happiness! A TEEN GIRL DOES NOT HAVE TO STAY IN A COFFIN IN ORDER TO DESERVE COMPASSION!!!!
#narrates#rgu#my chat and i have been discussing the virgin suicides (ive never seen the movie but apparently its quite influential in some spheres)#and it just makes me think about how much i loathe most depictions of Suffering Girlhood TM#shut up about girlhood shut up about girlhood!!!!!!! watch rgu. suffering is not just a Girlhood Condition.
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heeyyy gaaanggg
the pose and the background of the album version (left) are based on oingo boingos only a lad album art. not cause i think he has anything to do with it but just cause ive been wantin to draw that pose for like. weeks and i didnt know who to put there. so why not my latest bug man.
#my art#digital art#digital painting#fanart#resident evil 7#ethan winters#goddd PLEAAASEEEE#i havent known if i was gonna post this or not multiple times in the process of drawin this. but ultimately i spent too much time on it to#NOT post it. embarrassment be damned#but at the same time what am i even doin yknow. what is this what is goin on pleaaseee PLEASEEEEE#I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RESIDENT EVIL!!! I DONT KNOW N O T H I NG I KNOW LESS THAN NOTHING#HOW?? HOW DID I GET HERE??? WHY DID THIS HAPPEN???? i know exactly the answer to all those questions but it still boggles me how fast this#happened. usually it takes WEEKS if not MONTHS for me to start makin fanart. this was faaasttttt TOO FAST and im like. genuinely constantly#thinkin about this game. im ALWAYS thinkin about this game. part of why this took me so long to do is cause i always wanna play re7 or thin#about re7 in a strange and deranged way. ive actually genuinely been SICK WHAT HAPPENEDDDDDD#im losing it!! anyways this took me a looonggg ass time and i redrew it soo many timmmessss#i did like. 3 lineart passes. the album version i did 3 shading passes. i really struggled!! and ultimately i dont know how i feel about it#like i kinda resent it. for takin so long and makin me suffer so much#never again. never again will i spend that much time on a drawing. i HATE when drawins take a long time. i HATE that. it makes me madddd#ive been insane. ive been so insane. and im not gettin better like i cant sleep sometimes cause im thinkin about this game and this guy and#that gal like i think about them!! so! so much!! oh my god!!#in the time it took me to finish this ive done like 10 sketches for other pieces like. and ive had like 3 ideas ive written down.#and like 50 that i havent written or sketched.#IVE WRITTEN POETRY!! P O E T R Y !!!#i write the occasional poem when im feelin some kinda profound emotion but i NEVER write poetry about media SOBBING#anyways thats the post i think this is the beginnin of the end so lets hold hands and pray. ugh sorry if i get sick. im shakin.
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sorry
#not even a little bit sorry#ive been giggling to myself making this in bed#this is the funniest post.#i cant.#suffer with me#the locked tomb#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#nona the ninth#tlt spoilers#naberius tern#babsposting
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friday schedule: KILL THAT FREAK!!!
#vrailart#blood cw#tf2#team fortress 2#miss pauling#ms pauling#tf2 scout#the meme is a joke btw i jest theyre a little butchfemme to me#everytime ive drawn scout hes been suffering in some way. my fualt
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