#ive been strugglin....

[naomistares]

okay which tlt bit should i comic-atize next because i genuinely enjoy doing them

[fazgoo-connoiseur-1987]

actually what is this guy's problem

(for @springlock-suits's DTIYS thingy :))

[shreddeddescent]

ok ok one last insanity check for everyone ok this is a lil different. like lemme just say im clearly someone who likes to go to the dark zone but also try and claw my way back out. i do sappy funny shit most of the time. and the writing of this thing has gotten long and insane, timelines have jumped as i try and parse events. as in i started w a scenario where raph nearly got sold out to his father and is rescued by his brothers immediately. we go to a place where he wasnt and is rescued later. theres been inbetweens where hes rescued but bad things happen despite that. all of this has led me to like his inner turmoils (diagnosis) and the other characters inner turmoils more. how they feel about each other how theyve coped. its good to jump around so im glad i havent said too much as if its all set in stone. im glad im not trying to write a fanfiction to SHARE if that makes sense.

my current shit that has gotten the longest was from the worst case scenario of his lack of rescue and i feel like... i dont need to say what that was? but i think i should point out that descent has a second meaning. its not just the spiralling downward, its also the root word of descendant. that was my feeling about the poetry of it.

so ill say i do feel like im in the danger zone of being fucking murdered for this but i wanna say it anyway cuz i think itll be ok. i think you guys will get it cuz ur being nice. im exploring shit and having fun. it gets raw, it gets hard, but its working out.

so i started writing this au as "ok so heres a scene where raph is just hanging out w casey, hes trying to tell her to control her anger, and theyre fighting a bit. and he fucking flashes back and realized hes a csa victim. let the story unravel from there"

and im currently in the. insane writing area of "what if ur presumed aborted kids come back from the future/pocket dimension to take care of u cuz theyre like 30 and have coped w what they are and know you have no adults around who give a shit. and theyre amazing and kind and want to help you."

shits.......... gone off the rails. idk what else to say. i am having fun exploring insanity and seeing if i can reign it in. if i didnt do that i wouldnt have come up w half the shit i have. so like. uh. idk if youll see anything of said thing okay. its weird i know it is. but honestly i feel like the insanity and seeing how real i can make it feel, how i can parse feelings over it is working well. maybe this all sounds spoilery or weird. i was really thinking "ill just draw out things chronologically" but im struggling with that for some reason. but this au is on my mind uh 24/7 and its good to just be like "ok, heres where my head is at, if thats not what you wanna hear about it the unfollow button is right there"

but i also feel like ive been OVERLY POINTING OUT. that this isnt a story for kids. so please try not to judge me too harshly. its just a fucking.... how insane can i go and tell you about it thing. i guess.

[miasmat]

slowly losing my mind, im this 🤏 close to drawing poolverine

[skeyewards]

imposter syndrome suck my sphincter!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mizzyislost]

testing out brushes and color palettes but also there is a Certain character on my mind. can you guess who

[soulless-computerbug]

Ok listen listen listen-

What if. I just started writing and posting my tes fic? Or maybe just stuff about it? I started before but now there's a lot of stuff more refined to it (and it's easier to write rn than my actual fic whoops) and I think it could be fun. Thoughts?

[sophiethewitch1]

in my hater era

[maggot-baggage]

Ok last post n im goin to bed but yall im officially testin my first certification I'm so happy. Two of my instructors were grillin me for a shitty weld i did earlier in the night, one of them sat n watched me do another, let me finish working on it anf they were both immediately like "oh yeah you're good" like I'm finally gettin the hang of thissss. I've been finding it really rewarding to fuck up n correct myself n watch my progress in real time, and havin more experienced people around me has made it a lot less scary to approach since they all have really good input. I don't wanna rush through it but I really cant wait til I pass my test and move on bc I wanna feel this excited about everything else, but for now im proud of myself for gettin this far :3 + Babycakes so its small on the dash

[thekawaiione]

Photographer Jeon~ life through a lens...

a lil sketchy thing of Seventeen's Wonwoo (was inspired to do some arts since it was his birthday the other day all the other fanart made me wanna draw). Idk what color theory is anymore lol.

(Am truly returning here to tumblr now btw, the newest bird app drama is just so dumb. Someone pls give me more Carats to follow.)

[notorioushiphopcrew]

also i sent an email i kind of regretted. but also feeling that a large part of that was formed by the very intense emotional state i was in where i was experiencing crazy anxiety and doubts and shame about the way i acted and i felt like everything i wrote in that email was so terrible and also i felt so emotional and so ashamed of it and so sure everyone who knew it woild judge me and know how irrational i am and i could tell logically it probably wouldnt be a big deal but couldnt feel it and like. i feel a bit awkward now but ive fully calmed down and honestly? it was kind of fine actually. its just been a while since ive been UP THERE in that kind of state and i guess it kind of does give you perspective on how your emotional state really affects you so deeply and your perception of things. and like yeah i might retract a few things or be like "eh not mt best move" on some things but realising overall it doesnt matter and i can FEEL that. it is really crazy how many problems exist in your head and you can understand logically its not rational but you just have to bear it for a bit

[monomori3]

dragonfell bros as kiddos in the bottom left and baby pirenthem with his new big bro

[halodwolf]

huh i wonder what this could be .

[hefights-archive-3]

so i'm thinking, spicy little tlou orphan in one of the safe zones, has a much older brother he doesn't know about- but knows about him- and their parents are dead? maybe, maybe not. his brother might be good or bad, idk yet, he's older by quite a few years as mik wasn't planned obvi they're in an apocalypse. their parents are from russia, immigrated shortly before the apocalypse! i feel like his brother was a baby when it happened, so by older, he's very much older lmao. again mik was not planned at all, and was either given up by them, or they died shortly after when he was still too young to remember them. anyways, spicy, likes 2 play with knives, bc lbh a kid in the apocalypse??? he'd get knocked over if he tried to use a gun at his stature. uhmmmmm, he probably has a lil group of friends he'd die for, they do everything together !!!!! they're of varying ages, but all from the same orphanage.

[the-witchy-sideblog]

Hey chat can you send in asks/respond to this with your favorite substance-based recipes? (Alcoholic drinks, baked marijuana recipes, etc.)

[binders-and-beanies]

ED tw in da tags i just need 2 vent