#but damn its been a while since ive been like that
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
also i sent an email i kind of regretted. but also feeling that a large part of that was formed by the very intense emotional state i was in where i was experiencing crazy anxiety and doubts and shame about the way i acted and i felt like everything i wrote in that email was so terrible and also i felt so emotional and so ashamed of it and so sure everyone who knew it woild judge me and know how irrational i am and i could tell logically it probably wouldnt be a big deal but couldnt feel it and like. i feel a bit awkward now but ive fully calmed down and honestly? it was kind of fine actually. its just been a while since ive been UP THERE in that kind of state and i guess it kind of does give you perspective on how your emotional state really affects you so deeply and your perception of things. and like yeah i might retract a few things or be like "eh not mt best move" on some things but realising overall it doesnt matter and i can FEEL that. it is really crazy how many problems exist in your head and you can understand logically its not rational but you just have to bear it for a bit
#but thankfully i calmed down#but damn its been a while since ive been like that#wondering if this also ties into experiences in fhe past and fears about not being taken seriously or being seen as overly emotional#for no reason#that definitely played a big part in things#idk why im oversharing on the internet just felt like maybe i should start postinf all my random thoughts#and experiencing a bit of emotional clarity like after you reach a more balanced state ans go “damn i was strugglin”#but yeah....#ig my fear and anxiety really was#that i would be seen as so overly emotional and illogical and i wouldnt be taken seriously#and also in addition#the fear about thinking i have not communicated well how others acted torwards me and unneccessarily painting them as villians and using#language that was emotional to describe their actions#and my emotions were so strong i couldnt even handle to remember what i had wrote#but honestly i set clear boundaries and have explained my side of the story and although i dont know if i expressed myself perfectly#yes others did upset me and in my opinion act badly no i dont think its a long term issue and yes i will be taking distance from that happe#ing again#sometimes writing down your thoughts really makes them properly observable to you for the first time#and i am thinking about this writing this post
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
hi *throws this at you and runs headfirst into a lamppost*
#dandys world#dandy's world#dandys world shelly#dandy's world shelly#dandy's world sprout#dandys world sprout#my art#YIPEEEE#been wanting to give my shelly design a mild update since looking at it more ive been a bit dissatisfied with it#shes got tentacle tails now!!! they have a mind of their own and sorta just move around idly/used for expressing emotions#also for the face itself i gave her rounder eyes to emulate her weird soulless expression in-game bc i love that sm#i never elaborated on it in my og design but i like shelly being super active and outdoorsy since shes a paleontologist#so the bandages on her arms are mostly from cuts or injuries she's gotten while searching for fossils#unrelated detail but i think it'd be funny if she was like. comically strong aswell#anyways sprout!!! he is also here.#no but I love drawing sprout hes such a fun guy to draw. i love his fuckass hot yaoi base looking skull he so triangular#ofc i gave him freckles bc look at him. he deserves those.#struggled a bit with the colors and decided to just lean into the striped pink + green fit he had going and thought it worked out fine#naturally had to give him the charm i mean come onnn ppl!! he usually keeps it tucked in underneath his sleeve so its not damaged#also its sorta unclear in canon but i thought it'd be cute if sprout had the sweet charm and cosmo had the savory charm stead of vice versa#they just keep a little bit of eachother wherever they go <3#damn been a bit since ive rambled in my tags#watch out chat the yappers back at it again 😈
181 notes
·
View notes
Text
so REVENGE, HUH? or justice, if that makes you feel better. it tastes the same when cooked just right. 'I REALLY WANTED A BROTHER.' such a shame to burn a bridge you so desperately wanted to keep, especially when it wasnt even you who started the fire. especially when you hope that not a single fragment of that bridge ever washes ashore.[MAY IT ROT FAR FROM MY SIGHTS] an unfortunate loss! atleast he has his friends.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi prime defenders#jrwi prime defenders spoilers#jrwi pd spoilers#jrwi pd#william wisp#vyncent sol#THIS ONE IS FUUUUCKIN OOOOOLLDD RAAAHHHHH i made it like. a year ago. but didnt finish it for so so long bc i just wasnt happy w it.#BUT LIKE A CENTURY EGG the decades of being encased in salt n lime n ash have done WELL to bring out the flavores of this piece#i sorta recently cleaned it up and posted it onto twitty. didnt tag it bc it was SO OLD AND SCUFFED(i see so many MISTAKES NOW)#that i didnt want to expose it to the open air just like that#if i show smth to my small circles then it shall only be understood in those small circles.#open air and open interpretation from minds i cannot predict are NOT something i enjoy the thought of. usually. i am brave tho#BUT EVERYONE ON TWITTY WAS SO NICEEE i was like damn... i guess it IS good enough to be enjoyed by the masses...#lets work on being nicer to our art together. THAT BEING SAID. i really love my colors here HELL YEAHHHH#FIRST TIME IN A WHILE COLORIN THESE BOYS.... i dont use proper color enough..I ALSO RLY LIKE MY BACKGROUNDS HERE#i LOVE when the bg is hyperrealistic (i frankestiened stock photos) and when the subjects are all flat colored n cartoony#recently rewatched Making Fiends and they do that similar thing!! soft shading! lotsa details! almost painted? ill paint one day#ive already rambled so much abt the art im runnin out of ROOm to ramble about WWWIILLIAM GODDAMN WWIIIISP. its been a minute since i saw-#-this episode..but i DO remember the funny smoke trick that will did to his funny brother. EVERYTIME U GIVE AN ORDER. THAT BRINGS HARM-#-INDIRECTLY OR NOT. YOU WILL HEAR THOSE SCREAMS. YOU WILL FEEL THAT PAIN. OHHH WHAT A COOL PUNISHMENT THAT IS#its still an olive branch in a sense! a final chance for big bro bell to show that hes NOT an irrideemable piece o shit. and if not#well. to the wolves of psychosis with him!!! i really think william did the best he could here. if i was in his shoes i have no doubt i-#-woulda done the same. IM ALSO GLAD THAT VYN DECIDED TO STICK AROUND N SUPPORT HIM! thas character development baybe!!#i loooove prime defenders.. its been so long since i watched any eps of it but i KNOW it still has such a grip on my heart..GOTTA rewatch i
324 notes
·
View notes
Text
🐒
#this was going to be a 4 panel thing but i lost steam#booster gold#blue beetle#boostle#ted kord#i feel like its been a while since ive posted pda on this account specifically damn ...................thats crazy
321 notes
·
View notes
Text
ngl because of all the warriors talk here with it inherently being activism-spirited and how the people here engage with socio-political analyses, I've been more willing to talk about my activism again both inside and outside of tumblr and actually returning to studying the theory! So that's cool! Thank God for Eisa davis!!
#i'd give you guys resources but they are all in filipino jgjdjdd#but yea because like the past months have been like. Hard. Fucking Hard.#and ive been busy with school and what not so its been a damn while#but since warriors#and of course recent political events#i kinda like feel in the spirit of things again#which is cool!#and the fact that the analyses of warriors here are actually in line with the theory i study#and that we all honor the spirit of activism and its inherently subversive amd revolutionary nature#fuck yeah!#warriors#warriors album#warriors musical#eisa davis
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
whumptober 2023 - day 18 tortured for information
A Town Called Malice - 1x07
#whumptober2023#no.18#tortured for information#gifs#1x07#blood#tied up#bloody face#my gifs#whump gifs#whumpedit#damn this has been in my drafts for a while its already been like over a month since ive seen this show lol#this is just a really fun aesthetic#i have other gifs of this guy in this other show 'wreck' where he gets murdered by a duck mascot i love it#blood suits him :-)#ooh the way it runs up his face bc hes upside down :)))#last thing ive got done for whumptober idk if ill come up with another thing#currently working on another song whump vid with wayne from wayne and im having lots of fun with it#lots of blood involved there also :)) but that might also just be a standalone thing idk yet#a town called malice
86 notes
·
View notes
Text
vriska + a transmasc dave doodle
#tryna get into colored pencils again we'll see how it goes#its been a while since ive done a good tag ramble#but like i dont hv anything to ramble about#my art#traditional art#doodles#fanart#homestuck#homestuck fanart#dave strider#dave strider fanart#vriska serket#vriska fanart#oh actually i do hv smth to ramble about today#that being scheduled posts#yknow scheduled posts are actually really convinient and helped me quite a bit#like i used them for a couple months and honestly really liked useing them cuz it allowed me to hv a pretty consistent posting schedule#but in the end i just didnt feel right with it mostly due to the fact that even with it set to post three times a week it felt weird to hav#some of my drawings posting weeks after i finished them. like they were old news to me already but they were barely being released to every#one else it just felt weird for me ig. not to mention that like on the rare occassions that i didnt have anything to post i felt obliged to#draw smth just so i would have smth to post and most of the time that led to me being unhappy with my art. so now ive just decided like fuc#it imma post whenever i want and honestly im really happy with that even if i might be going a little trigger happy with the posting button#recently lmao. ive just been drawing a whole lot and hv so much to post its insane. hell i still hv things in my gallery that i needa post#but ill save those for the next couple of days lol but yeah thanks for coming to my very long ted talk/ramble and goodnight 😴#damn im such a yapster what the hell
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
sketches of really random stuff lmao
#theres a little me at the beginning. hi :3#i just drew anything that came to my mind :T you can see in how many fandoms im in lol#i havent drawn julian in a while :'( my babyyyy#omg how do i tag this lol#you can see i got tired at the end :T they look shitty#i love doing gijinkas. theyre cool af#homestuck#sonic#gijinka#genshin impact#genshin#animal crossing#acnh#sketch#sketches#art#sai#fanart#kirby#julian devorak#creepypasta#mlp#its been like idk more than 5 years since ive drawn homestuck :| damn#i really need to make a full piece because homestuck was the big reason i got into art tbh. it deserves it i guess.
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
whats up motornation or whatever do we do ocs here
wanted to finalize my design of my girl oc for this show so i decided to make her in VROID, as i often do when i need to finalize an oc design, cuz its fun to use and pretty versatile if you know your way around textures n shit
speaking of that, the textures of the hair, shirt, gloves, socks were drawn by me (by editing the t-shirt and otk socks items, but i freehanded the gloves' texture)
prince's infodump about how i made the shoes and also who the oc is under the cut cuz its long:
the way vroid works is kind of weird where shoes can be edited on a sort of grid thats a certain height (this goes for most of the items honestly) regardless of shoe height. basically the shoes i used as the base here were low-top sneakers that I drew a texture over using the grid system to make them into demonia boots. I also made the soles go as platform as possible in the settings to help them look like those.
This oc is named Avery (Ava for short). She used to live in Deluxe but fell into MotorCity (literally) after the walls of her pod shut off by accident in the middle of the night. While there, she met a barely working H.O.U.N.D that she'd activated by accident when he broke her fall in the scrapyard she ended up in, taking him in as her new pet/protector in this weird new place (she calls him Pup, by the way. hes completely harmless and acts like a real dog, unless someone tries to hurt Ava lol) The scrapyard ended up being the home base of a weird boy named Victor (though he calls himself Mazk, due to the weird mask he wears that covers half his face) who doesn't trust her at all due to her Deluxian appearance. She returns to the scrapyard later, having acquired clothes that more closely reassembled his (though she wears a very poofy skirt underneath her oversized band tee, much to his chagrin) and dyed her hair a very dark pink (she used to be blonde) and this convinces him to let her join his gang (of one guy) and she suggests becoming a band, dubbing them "AV Club" (Ava and Victor club!!! or audiovisual club depending on which member you ask)
Being fairly close to the edge of MotorCity (or as close as they're able to get to the border, cuz i think it was canon that nobody lives/is allowed to live 20-25 miles from the borders?) means the two (+ Pup) dont interact with other gangs as much, though they do think the Burners are cool. They don't normally drive their car, AJAX (a 1965 Red Mustang Convertible) but they do use her for the kitchen installed in the backseat and the hidden amps she has for their music.
#princeposting#motorcity#motorcity oc#art by op#“art by op” referring to the textures by the way I didnt model this shit i just chose clothes and hair and edited them#i was inspired to make these two after learning they planned on making an episode about a music festival lol#like damn? we were gonna have a musical episode? well okay heres some musicians for it#when i get around to actually drawing these two you'll see Mazk's design#Pup doesnt really have anything special about him hes just a H.O.U.N.D with a few scratches and parts missing#ava here plays guitar by the way#on top of doing digital versions of other instruments like drums while doing shows#its been forever since ive actually made a character for a pre-existing piece of media and not just my own stuff
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
applied for a job a while ago and wrote in my spreadsheet "i am not fucking getting this job" not because of the qualifications but because my application was honestly just not that good. today the lady called me and scheduled an interview. Ok
#mine#i dont knowwwww though#urgh...#its in the city where i went to college so i know its a nice place thats familiar to me#but its also pretty hcol and the job itself is like...idk about the pay#the content of the job is good though like its basically exactly what ive been wanting to do#but then i keep coming back to my hysto...i really want that too#it sucks its like a rock and a hard place you know#i dont want to keep delaying this surgery i want my shit gone NOW#but at the same time i dont want to keep delaying my ~career~#and then i think well theres more jobs in the world...but then i think about how few ive applied to since graduating#and how long it might take me to find one after surgery#and if ill even want to or not cause this country is getting old#i want a job...but i also want my hysto...#i dont want to like get a job and then go do it and then be stuck for ages waiting for PTO and bennies to kick in and to find someone who#can take care of me when i can instead do it now like i already have a letter from my therapist and consultations upcoming#but also i need money and i dont wanna fuck up my early ~career~ days#I DONT KNOW#its a lot#i just wish id done the damn surgery sooner but i couldnt in 2023 cause i was working that summer#and this year i naively thought that i would be able to get a job relatively fast and just get hysto next year after working for a while#WHATEVERRRRRR#the interview isnt for another week and a half so ill talk to my therapist and see what she thinks#if i need to cancel the thing i can if not then i wont#ughhhh
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
the desire to do comms vs my inability to remember that i got a message FIGHT-
#its like 'oh a message! i will respond later'#and then later never comes cause i have no damn object permanence Or working memory#then its like... what do i even say#'hi sorry i ghosted your simple question for two days i forgot you messaged me' AGH#or especially lately#i mean to do things and then i get a New piece of distressing information about the way my life is going#which then consumes my thoughts and leaves no room for anything else#ahaha thanks! ill claw my eyes out now!! wow!!! FUCK!#trying to keep up the things i enjoy is. so tough rn#but ill flounder w/o em so! hard work that i am mostly failing at but i Keep Trying#yes i wanna do comms. yes i wanna draw. yes i wanna talk to people. can i? mmmmm......#can't wait for this chapter in my life to be over. goddamn.#ive been in a perpetual state of intense stress since early childhood#but my fucking duck things lately have been taking the cake#absolutely unprompted#oh no this is turning into a vent post Look Away#well my mother called again last night and was all 'im getting you a car'#and uh. i started physically shaking while profusely thanking her (lying through me teeth)#GIRL!!! I DONT NEED A CAR THATS TOO MUCH RN!!!#she's always mentioning how the collective We are tight on money#and that rn i need to focus on making decisions and getting a job ill hold for like. a month#and then she slams this down outta left field??? thats so much extra stress i dont need right now???#now i gotta worry about parking and maintaining it and gas money i dont have And And And-#i cant exactly tell her Dont Fucking Do That bc then she'll blow up in my face and call me inconsiderate & ungrateful again#me and my stepdad dont have the fucking TIME to get one! and then she was like 'oh i can always come down to help'#please dont. do not do that. i cant deal with you in person right now that sounds hellish#anyway. case in point#cant even think about messages and stuff i Want to think about bc all this bullshit is taking up my entire mind#metaphorically slamming my face into a brick wall till theres nothing left. aaaghhahsbkjadadj#its too much its Too Much everything is so much and its too much and can i be let be for two fuckin seconds please
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
there are heartships / those guys again / this one doesn't have a caption. let's call it CROPPING / i don't want to be the sun i don't want to be the ocean i don't want to be the world
i thought it was redundant But that was the phrase that came to me
#the third one was just lines that happened and i didnt know what to do after that. i felt compelled to color them all after i colored#the first and now its 3 am. As usual.#flowers arts#steve#I like the idea of heart headed stickfigures but i accidentally drew a mouse instead.......#i call them heartsticks -> hardships -> there are hardships#its been a while since ive drawn in clipstudio paint. So. To my surprise my PEN THAT I DRAW WITH WAS AT 98% opacity this whole time#A little irritating. i have to fix it RIGHT NOW ro else ill forget and draw with that. AGAIN. (happened previously)#i suppose i havent drawn very attentively for myself recently. well you can blame Puerto rican meatball pork and rice.#OPINION: i do not like the smell of meatballs but they taste good. It takes a very long time for me to eat it because it smells bad.#I suppose hollandaise is a necessary evil because MEATBALLS STINK. I will consider that next time i have Random Cousin from a birthday par#ANYWAY FORGET THAT Originalyl iwas flipping through linearts like Damn am i artblocked but then i clored them so tis ok#i have been inspired by [video game] recently. i like how it looks. i want to draw grosser now. (Not in content but lineart. Its different.#you can tell in the bottom right that freak has a weird mouth. That was my intention! this is treading new ground. Or old ground#and making it new again. Whatever you prefer#OK Goodnight#if i need to make an addendum to the first picture i will But im a believer that we understand things in this trust fall scenario
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
This is kind of cute but I have the red on hand...
#its been a while since ive dyed it dark so im a lil nervous#the pink is from my last dye the brand i usually use does Not come out#also my hairdresser fucked my shit up lowkey it looked fine at the shop but at home close up its like damn girl it looks like i chopped this#itll look fine in a week
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
is this your first read of homestuck or a reread?
imagine this was my first read,,, damn thatd be wild nah ive been here since 2013 lmao
#this is my first reread tho!#havent read it since it finished and i started in 2013 so like..... thats a While so i didnt remember much of the proper plot stuff#would be funny running an ask blog not having finished the comic lol#i feel like i remember something about one of the other blogs actually doing that? maybe im remembering wrong tho#but damn ive been here 10 fucking years.... thats.... kinda wild#actually recently found some of my first hs art#surprise to absolutely no one its davesprite lmao#i should maybe do a redraw#could be funny#rambles#ask#anon#is this the ask that went missing tbh?? i dont think it is cus i started reread posting after that whole thing??#unless it was about the older reread posts?
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
tbh at times I think phoenix is one of the more underappreciated songs from watt
#ive been listening to it on repeat while doing work and stuff#and it really does remind me of how i fell in love with watt in the first place#aka the songs are damn good bangers#i should rewatch the boot sometime like its been two years since i last watched it i think#we are the tigers
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
HOLY CRAP??? WHAT DID I DO?????
#im actually super. concerned.#like logically i know i must've hit my leg on somwthing at work but GODDAMN.#ive never gotten a bruise THIS BAD at work?? and i run into things a LOT at my job#simply cus im a klutz#but it has been YEARS since ive had a bruise this bad#im hoping that all it is is that i bunoed into smth at work vid my other more frightening theory is spider bite#based on the pain and that there's also a very small scab#its not centered in the bruise tho.... and its like an OLD scab so either the spider bit me a while ago and i JUST noticed or it healed fast#idk#or whatever i ran into just. nicked me through my jeans which is also possible#but seriously i do not get worried or concerned over bruises cus on any given day i am likely to have at LEAST 2 bruises#if not MORE#so me losing my shit over this is how you know its a BAD bruise#damn dude the only reason i even looked at put was bc i was like 'gosh my legs are sorta sore. are there bruises on my thighs?'#and well. i wasnt WRONG. there IS a bruise.#its on the fucking back of my thigh where i couldnt see it unltil i was LOOKING for it#best part is i don't even think i got it today i think i probably got it yesterday#but DUDE. DUDE. THAT'S ALL I'VE GOT.#shh ac
2 notes
·
View notes