#ive been so busy with work and dogs and my other class i can barely breath
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noooooo
i just found out that the one course im taking that was meant to have less structure and basically just one final deadline had an assignment due a whole week ago 😭😭😭😭😭
imma email my prof tomorrow bc im too tired to be coherent rn
#sobbing#ive been so busy with work and dogs and my other class i can barely breath#n e ways im up past my bedtime and im getting big sad so goodnight#i will probably delete this later#mollu post
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Alright I got kinda a bananas questions for you, but how much time do you think should be divided up between work, hobbies and people. Actually wait more specifically what do you think is a good goal to just sit down and do work, but like actually doing work. Like sitting down for 90 minutes and finishing something not working on said thing for 5 hours then finish it. Over the past couple years I kinda erm, just sorta stopped? My mental health has steadily going to shit and covid fucked that all to hell and I was spending so much time in what was essentially a state of panic(didn’t realize it at the time, but that’s essentially what was happening) that I was too exhausted to do anything and just kind of stopped. I didn’t realize it the time but now that I’m finally getting better Ive noticed how little I was doing and how doing little really negatively effects me. Its become a good marker for me to check that I’ve been actually painting, seeing friends, going for a swim but sometimes it still all goes belly up and I’m trying to figure out what is a good goal.(and whats a good marker for when fucking up) Like a realistic long term goal I can strive for and keep track of. I could real easily just say “go for a swim everyday” but that feels unrealistic. In fact I put exercise in same spot as painting so it would be more like “do hobby for an hour a day” but even that feels like a lot. The thought of that feels exhausting so at least for me it should probs be do hobby thing at least 5 times week. Big goal is to swim 3 times and paint twice or vice a versa. its just hard to do that and then I’ll feel like crap and then notice that I haven’t exercised at all for 8 days and I just don’t move around enough to do that. I’m like a dog or walking house plant that needs to go outside and move around for sunshine and blood flow otherwise I start to physically and mentally feel awful. Its just hard to notice you know? Ugh its annoying because there’s so much shit. Its not just that I need some kinda exercise I also need to do some kinda hobby thing for me and other shit that I like to do. And that isn’t even including the work I need to do. I wasn’t even working before I cannot express enough how much of “doing nothing” I was doing. I’m doing better know with meds and therapy and what not and it is helping but I’ll still get home at 7 and just look at my phone and do some combo of read fanfictin/ play sudoko till I get tired and fall asleep. Then I wake up and shocking, I’m still on bullshit. Sometimes its feels to much to shower (at least with that one I know that I can get away with one at most 2 days with out shower so if I didn’t shower the day before I can mostly just force myself into the shower) that’s what I’m trying to figure out for everything else so I can look at my self force my self to stop looking at phone and paint a shitty flower or something. I was doing pretty good but The other week I house sitter for a friend and was immediately back on bullshit. I barely left her apartment the entire time I was there I’m sure that if I actually went to class, got exercise, painted (I brought all my paints then did fuck all) I would have been able to get more work done. I think Im only actually productive when I’m actually getting up and doing crap. I’m in a contact state of “working” and doing nothing but time is moving forward. I have no idea what this anon is. Ugh whatever I’ll submit it anyway
TL;DR trying to be better at actually do stuff and not doing fuck all. Any idea on what’s a good goal to strive for and what’s a good marker for shits getting fuck go for a walk
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Social time is going to be extremely variable. I'm an extrovert and thus lots of social time is no problem. I also do okay not seeing people though as long as I'm busy.
Exercise should be prioritized above most other things, much as I hate this. You should be doing something basically every day. I agree that swimming is likely not realistic on that schedule, but maybe a walk around the block? It sucks, but forcing yourself to get off your ass every day will help with the rest of it. Also, exercise that takes you out of the house, even if only briefly, requires that you put on clothes, which is also helpful.
Get off of social media. If you're having trouble managing things, now is the time to take a break from anything that involves doom scrolling and time just disappearing.
(I say from my bed where I'm wearing the dirty sweatshirt I slept in and no pants while answering asks instead of working on my next novel. Hmm...)
It's obviously important to you to prioritize painting, but I see the difficulty there: you have to get set up and clean up afterwards, and you can't leave paints sitting around or they dry out. I'd try to schedule one longer session per week for now. If you have something else like sketching, you can schedule more frequent shorter sessions because that's easier to pick up and put down without a lot of prep/cleanup.
I do find little morning rituals like making tea helpful. They pry me out of bed and add some structure to my day.
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hey there, stranger. iv
one, two, three
an: as you can tell, i’ve been having a really, really rough time lately. I haven’t been posting, so I hope the length of this chapter makes up for it a little bit. Not including a summary here because you all know what this fic is by now, and if not, the other chapters are linked above! I hope you enjoy this. I have to thank @royaltyofhockeylosers, @thirteenisles, and my potato anon for always being there whether I have to talk about this fic or my personal life!! I love you all and I absolute would not have gotten through the past week or even posted this fic without you!!!! The ending scene of this chapter (you’ll see) is the first part of this fic I thought of, what I basically wrote the rest of the fic around, and honestly one of my favorite scenes ever.
word count: 3.7k
the playlist :)
Two more weeks and countless games passed before Mat was asking about another date.
You were sitting in class, daydreaming about that night- his arm heavy around your shoulders, pulling you into his side, his scent surrounding you, his hoodie swallowing you, the way his hand was big and warm in yours, the way his pretty hazel eyes softened when he looked down at you, the way your heart leapt when he leaned down, his eyes slipping shut for that first kiss… when your phone vibrated.
Handsome maty: hey babe! i don't have practice tomorrow, you wanna do something? ❤
The heart emoji made your own heart beat fast. So you were at that point of the relationship already, huh?
You'd never know, but Mat was terrified to send that text. He typed it out and deleted it multiple times, running his hands through his hair and closing his texts to call Tito and ask for advice. Was it too early for hearts? Would you be scared and run off? Would he sabotage a great thing just by showing you how much he cared? But in the end he remembered.
“I wanna date you. Like, officially. I want it to be us.”
“I want it to be us too.”
And God, he really did.
You wanted to go out with him again, you really, really did, but there was one thing preventing you from doing that. And that one thing preventing you from seeing him was the same thing that got you together in the first place: the Seidenbergs.
Rebecca had called you that morning, joyous and chatting about a mystery date she was going on and how Dennis surprised her. And while you were as overjoyed for her as always and couldn't wait to see the kids again, it sucked that even though the older man was retired from hockey now, his and Mat's schedules seemed to be clashing. Whenever Mat wanted to take you out, the Seids were going out.
You: maty, I really wish i could. But I have to babysit tonight 😥
❤maty: no problem, I can come help! The kids already know me anyway
You didn't expect him to be angry really, but you at least wanted him to be upset. You were expecting the sting of guilt when he responded with that sad, puppy-dog way of his. But what you weren't expecting was the easy compliance he gave. It took a few moments for you to process his message, you were overthinking. These weren't your kids, would Rebecca be okay with you bringing Mat as your boyfriend? Or would that be inappropriate? Then, Mat sent another message.
❤maty: or if this is your way of trying to turn me down easy or hint you don't want to hang, you can just tell me. I promise I won't be upset, babe. But I'll come help if you want?
And that did it for you.
The fact that he thought you didn’t want to hang out was hurting your heart. Maybe you didn’t kiss him the other night, but you didn’t want him to think you were uninterested. Especially when it was quite the opposite. You couldn’t stop thinking about him if you tried. As you sat through boring lectures in class about things you once paid attention to, you found yourself daydreaming. Of how his lips would feel on yours, how soft, and pink they looked. How they parted slightly as he leaned down, his warm breath fanning over your own...
You wanted to kiss him, you really did, but something held you back. Nothing had ever felt wrong with Mat before, but something just felt so strange. It felt off, and you hated it. Maybe it was the fact that it had been so long since you had a real boyfriend, maybe you were scared you wouldn’t be good at kissing after so long, maybe you were scared of this relationship getting too serious, that after that kiss, you’d be too far in and Mat would get tired of you. Maybe you were scared of heartbreak again. Whatever it was, you panicked and drew away. He took it so well, he was sweet and patient and didn’t judge you for wanting to wait. And it just made you fall even more.
God, what you would do to kiss him now.
You: trust me, i really want to see you tonight. but we need to ask rebecca and dennis first
❤maty: done ✔
Usually, all your worries about guys went out the window when you walked in the door to the Seidenberg’s household. You could forget about boyfriends, drama, work and your studies for the night and focus on the little kids that had strangely become like friends to you. But tonight, your anxiety about boys- a certain boy in particular- was spiking. You were going to be spending the evening with Mat. You couldn’t help the way your heart was pounding as you tried to compose yourself in the bathroom before the Seidenburgs left on their date. It wasn’t going to be a long night, the sun was already going down, so you’d probably just put on a movie and then take the kids to bed. You smiled at yourself in the mirror as your mind drifted back to the night of your almost-kiss and how patient and gentle and ready Mat was.
“(Y/N), someone’s here for you!” You heard Rebecca call from the front door. You quickly brushed some flyaway hairs back and took a few breaths to steady yourself.
Mat.
“Yeah, I have a feeling I already know who it is!” You called back with a smile in your voice, opening the bathroom door and making your way to the kitchen. Rebecca and Dennis were standing there, ready to leave and, both smiling like they knew something you didn’t, the door was only cracked slightly and Mat hadn’t yet come inside. Before you could even ask why he was still out in the cold, your matchmaker motioned towards the door.
“He’s waiting.”
You could barely even open the door the whole way before your lips fell open in a little surprised O. "Mat."
"Hey there, babe." There he stood on the doorstep, looking absolutely warm and cozy in all sweats and a hoodie, in those signature white shoes he'd been sporting on every date so far. The cold November wind tossed his hair around and a bright flush painted his cheeks in happiness as he held a bouquet of bright flowers out in front of him. When he saw you trying our best to contain your smile, his face split into a huge grin. And when he smiled, your heart almost leaped out of your chest. "You have no idea how hard it was to find these so late in the year."
"Oh my God, Maty."
"I hope this isn’t too cheesy, but I figured, if we're gonna be together all night, we might as well make it a date, right?"
Your heart fluttered, you wanted to pull him close, kiss him right there, but it wasn't the right time, especially not with the Seidenburgs standing right behind you in the kitchen. You reached out, grabbed his hand, and grinned. "Get in here, you big goof. You’re gonna get a cold."
The Siedenbergs were giving their goodbye kisses to the children when you stepped inside with Mat. And as they left, Rebecca winked at you and glanced back towards Mat, who was chatting with Dennis and beautifully oblivious to your cheeky silent conversation and busying himself with the kids. The second he stepped in the doorway, it seemed, the kids were all over him. "Maty!" They must have missed having him around.
It was obvious they missed having him around, as they were jumping around his legs and rambling about things they’d been up to lately the second they could get to him. And Mat listened intently and with the softest smile, and it was obvious he really loved them too.
The youngest children were talking about their day at school when you took the bouquet of flowers out of Mat’s arms, and suddenly they seemed interested. ‘
“You got flowers?"
"Yeah! Aren’t they pretty? They're from Mat." And suddenly the house burst into little "oooooh"s. Ah, children.
"You got (y/n) flowers??? Do you liiiike her?"
"I do like her." Mat’s eyes found yours and smiled, a hopeful, almost unsure smile as if he was really urging you to feel the same. You weren’t about to go on about your still young relationship in front of children, so you just smiled back.
"Are you best friends?"
"No, more than that."
“Ewww-”
“Alright,” You cut them off, just wanting to stay off the topic of feelings, romance, and relationships. This used to be the place you went to forget about those things, but you couldn’t do that with Mat here. Not that you were upset, you loved having him here, but there was something about talking about your relationship that still made you a little uneasy. And you hated feeling uneasy about him. "Do we have any homework to finish tonight?”
Something twisted in your heart while you watched Mat sit at the kitchen counter and help the kids with their homework. There was something so domestic and warm about these situations that it almost made you nervous. Was it way too early in the relationship to be imagining these things with him? It was so soon, everything was happening so fast, that it scared you. You didn’t want to love again, you didn’t want to hurt again, but everything about Mat made you want to risk it all.
That feeling struck you again as you stood in the kitchen, washing their dishes and watching Mat reading at the table with their little boy as the girls colored. Mat was helping him along softly here and there and giving him a little high five at the end of each page, and even though you absolutely did not want children any time soon- you could barely afford to get by yourself- there's just something about a man that's good with kids. And Mat was great with them, probably because he acted like a kid himself and already knew them well.
"Can we have ice cream?" Mat glanced up at you in amusement to gauge your reaction to the bold statement of the youngest girl.
"Ah, I don't know how your parents would feel about that."
“Pleeeeease!”
“Ice cream, ice cream, please!”
“I think the general consensus is that we all want ice cream.” Mat grinned a stupid little shit-eating grin and the children nodded along with him. “C'mon, Y/N. Don't be a party pooper." You almost couldn’t believe that Mat was gonna betray you like this, but it seemed so like him. Taking risks, living, having fun.
"You're such a child, Mat."
He looked up for a moment with wide, worried eyes, as if really worried you were upset with him, but the smile on your face must have given it away, because he smiled back proudly. "Yeah, I am."
"Alright,” You smiled at the looks of glee around the table, from all three of the kids and even Mat. “We’ll have ice cream, but don't tell your parents." The kids cheered thanks at you and Mat, who was still grinning widely up at you from the table. You couldn’t quite read the expression on his face, but when he stood from where he was to take the ice cream out of the freezer and his arm curled around your waist for a second while the kids weren’t watching, you were so flustered you had to look away with a smile. He made you feel so tingly and warm. “So, what movie are we watching tonight?”
A few hours later, you were sitting on the couch with Mat, battling through your second run of The Little Mermaid while the kids watched and colored and got drowsy.
You and Mat had stretched out under a thick, fluffy blanket, your legs on the sectional and his propped up on the coffee table, which he insisted was okay because he "used to do it all the time". Your head was resting against his bicep, and the moment his arm curled its way around your shoulders, your breath hitched in your throat. And he must have noticed because he glanced down at you with that same gentle question as the other night when he tried to kiss you.
Too much? Too soon?
It might have been too much, you might have panicked a little, but if you were learning anything recently, it was that you needed to take a risk and stop being so scared to get hurt. So you curled further against him, bringing a leg up to bend across his lap and winding your arms around his waist. His hand fell heavily onto your knee, rubbing it and pulling you closer in under the blanket, and his lips quirked up a little at the ends. This was warm, gentle, soft, perfect. Everything around was drowned out, save for the noise of both of your beating hearts pounding against each other, and he reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear with pink cheeks.
“Hey there.” His breath fanned across your lips, smelling of the sweet ice cream you’d all been snacking on earlier.
“Hi.”
Your breath hitched in your throat when his hand cupped your cheek, your heart sped up and your cheeks went hot as he furrowed his brows as if considering something.
Please just do it...
🎶"Sha-la-la-la-la-la
My, oh my
Looks like the boy's too shy
Ain't gonna kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Ain't that sad
It's such a shame, too bad
You're gonna miss the girl"🎶
“(Y/NNNNN).” You snapped up at the sound of your name to see the little boy yawning and rubbing his eyes. Mat swallowed thickly, turning away and refocusing on the movie in front of him, as if he’d even been watching in the first place. “I’m sleepy.”
“Yeah?” You untangled yourself from Mat and stood from your cocoon of comfort under the blanket, despite wanting nothing more than to stay in his arms all night. “Alright, Let’s get you to bed, buddy.”
When you returned to the living room after helping the kids through their nightly routine and tucking them into bed, you found Mat turning off the TV and gathering up the coloring books and dishes to put away. You locked eyes with him, feeling absolutely flustered and wanting to cuddle him. He looked back at you, chewing on his bottom lip as if he had something to say, but he kept silent. It was quiet, but not tense, as you moved around the kitchen. Putting things away and cleaning up and smiling as you bumped into each other. He seemed to open his mouth for a moment, considering his words, but he said nothing, and you couldn't even get the chance to ask him if the two of you could crawl back under the blankets before the front door opened and in walked the Seidenbergs.
Dennis and Rebecca thanked you over and over again, quietly, as the kids were asleep. “I hope Mat behaved himself too.”
“It was like having a fourth kid to look after.”
“Hey, I wasn’t that bad.” He smiled at you across the table, a little secret in his eyes, hinting to the moment on the couch where you’d almost… almost kissed. No one had to know about that. Not yet.
The moment you offered to get an Uber and head home, Mat spoke up softly, grabbing your attention before you could leave. “Hey, my place isn’t too far from here. Let’s go on a walk. We can call you an uber from there?” He spoke almost shyly, giving you a tiny smile, his head cocked to the side and his eyes sparkling with glee, tilting his eyebrow up in question. You only nodded at him, smiling back with matched enthusiasm, and headed out the front door, hand in hand, with the Seidenburgs smiling fondly after you.
Outside, flurries had started coming down, a light dusting of snow beginning to lay in the patches of grass beside you. It was frigid, and even Mat’s hoodie and your own jacket didn’t seem to do much work to protect you. But being pressed against his warm body, your hand in his was so worth it. “Maty, it’s snowing!”
He chuckled at the childlike enthusiasm of your words. “Yeah.”
He watched you with awe as you gazed around at how the snowflakes sparkled in the streetlights. “You know,” you began, squeezing his hand and pulling him back to reality, “I love the snow. I love winter. Everything is so quiet and peaceful. As a kid, you would go to bed one night and wake up the next morning with inches of snow on the ground, without ever realizing anything happened. It happens so quietly, so serenely, so softly, without anyone realizing. It’s a surprise. I love that.”
“Yeah?”
“All the best things happen softly.” There was a moment of silence as the words settled peacefully between you, and Mat pondered your words. “No, that probably sounds dumb.”
“No, that’s beautiful. You could be a poet.” All the best things happen softly. He agreed. Like the way he was falling more and more for you every day, like falling onto a bed of down and soft pillows, like falling into a lover’s waiting arms after a long day, like the warmest embrace of tangled limbs and tickly hair in your face. Like falling in love. “Plus, being cold means cuddling. Like tonight.” He nudged your side teasingly and squeezed you against him. “I liked that.”
“I liked that too.”
“Sorry we couldn’t do something else tonight. I usually don’t make my boyfriends babysit with me so early in the relationship.”
“No problem.” He smiled and tugged you closer into his side. “I love hanging out with those kids. And there’s no place I’d rather be than with you, babe.”
Your face got hot at the pet name. You’d never get used to someone calling you that. It’d been so long. “You’ve gotta be careful calling me babe. I might just fall for you.”
“Huh.” It was barely a whisper, but you heard every word. “Maybe that’s the goal.”
You walked in silence once again, a comfortable, gentle silence, with only the sound of leaves crunching under your shoes and rustling in the breeze, until Mat came to a stop in front of a tall building.
"So, this is my place."
"Yeah?"
"So I should probably call you that Uber…"
"Probably." But Mat made no effort to pull out his phone, his hand stayed still, laced through yours.
The air between your bodies was heavy, not with tension, not with dread, but something much, much softer. Something needy and aching, something that made your cheeks heat up and your hearts beat faster, as you took in the sight of each other. Maybe it was still the idea of being in a relationship again that had you both so flustered, had you both weak in the knees. Maybe you just couldn’t believe you had someone like this. You reached up absentmindedly to tuck a stray lock of Mat’s hair behind his ear, to shake away some of the flurries, giggling softly with him as his hand bumped into yours while reaching up to do the same to you.
“Hey there.”
Mat let out a warm puff of air, a soft sigh, his eyes melting into warm, honey-like pools as he gazed down to you, “Hey.”
“It’s chilly.” You began, but your words were cut off. Cut off by the feeling of a warm palm against your cheek, tilting your head up to meet a pair of lips in a gentle touch. It wasn’t a kiss, not yet, but rather a question. A murmur of hope and a suggestion, a gentle urging to follow him, to dip your toe in and try out the waters, maybe swim with him. And as he began to back up, having asked his question and letting you free to ponder it, your hand unlaced from his and you stretched up on your tiptoes to grasp his cheek. Your hands were small and soft against his cheeks, the tips of your fingers tracing his pretty cheekbones and cupping his jawline and tugging him closer to you, sliding back to the black hair at the back of his neck. A perfect fit. Like yin and yang.
He sighed out against your mouth as you sunk into him, his own lips curling up in a smile as his hands came up to cup you against him in this gentle embrace. Cradling the back of your neck, his fingers chilly and making you shiver as they dipped under your hair.
And when you finally broke apart from what felt like an eternal embrace that had no boundaries, Mat leaned his forehead down against yours, his eyes gentle and sleepy and warm as he gazed into you, and wow, he was so beautiful. He was breathing softly against your lips, as if the kiss had knocked the air from his lungs with its power, no matter how delicate and precious, and each warm puff of air he sighed against your lips made you smile.
“I- uhh,” He laughed sheepishly, reaching his hand up to thread through his hair- a nervous habit you’d realized a while ago. “I kinda forgot to ask if I earned that kiss yet.”
It was your turn to laugh now, sinking back down to your flat feet and leaning up to press a kiss onto his chin. “You did.”
He laughed at your little peck to his chin and pulled you into an embrace, entwining your bodies together and sharing your warmth, not caring who might be able to see you. There it was, he had his kiss. It was better than he'd ever had, better than he could've ever hoped for and better than he ever imagined. And it was with you. Your fingers were combing through his hair, and it was making him sleepy, and he wanted nothing more than to have someone to sleep next to tonight, to watch the snow fall outside his bedroom window from where they lay together in the comfort of his sheets. He wanted the comfort, the coziness, the peace, the softness. And he wanted it with you.
"Well, I hate to ruin the moment," you started, turning to look up at him "But you should probably call that uber soon. Before I freeze to death out here."
"Mhm."
But Mat did nothing, he stayed where he was, gazing down at you and glancing up at his apartment, eyebrows furrowed in thought. "Hey, Mat? Whatcha thinking?" He looked down at you again as you continued to thread your fingers through his dark locks, seeming to have made up his mind about something. With a sigh and a smile, he held your hips and pulled you against him, leaned down, ghosting his lips against yours once more and making your heart pound at the sound of his whisper:
"Stay the night?"
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Redacted (First) Impressions
My Saiou Winter Exchange Gift for @evil-muffins
Prompt: Pre-game fic, angsty w/ a side of fluff
Hope you like c:
I.
Life has no meaning.
-
Uploading… Please Wait
█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
“My name is ******* ***. My audition number is three-hundred fifty-one.”
“I’m… always looked down on and.. I probably deserve it. So, I thought, fuck my memories huh? It’s not like I care about anyone. Just… I don’t want to be weak anymore. I want to be rewritten as someone less weak. Maybe I could be someone to look up to, like a leader. But, it doesn’t matter what I am; I’m desperate, and isn’t that what you want from people? People so desperate that they’ll willingly offer their lives away to become part of a killing game?”
Upload Complete!
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Submission sent ✔
You will be notified of your approval or rejection within the next 30 days. We thank you for your application!
-
Every day is a string of bland pointless blurs that bleed into the next like watercolor paint.
So, why not make life as interesting as possible?
-
Kokichi Oma stares blankly. He presses down on the lit power button of his computer monitor, effectively shutting it off. It’s done. That’s it. The chance that they’ll consider him is low, but maybe they - Team Danganronpa - will find value in him that no one else has. He barely got a submission number. It took hours of staying awake, eyes peeled, staring at the stinging blue light of the screen until he requested an audition as fast as he possibly could. Even still, he ended up with number three-hundred fifty-one. He wonders how someone could possibly get the first audition.
Applying for Danganronpa has become much more… commonplace, ever since they began using simulation technology. As strange as it may seem, not everyone is exactly willing to stake their lives on a show, but for some, their memories are a small price to pay for becoming a part of the show. Though it might also have something to do with the prize money, Oma doesn’t care much about that. He’s omniscient enough to know that he definitely doesn’t have a very high self-worth… or self-preservation for that matter, but it’s not like he can change that just from being aware of it.
II.
School is boring.
Each additional day of school he's feeling more tired and drained, regardless of how much he falls asleep in class. What is the point of working if he has nothing to work towards?
III.
Shuichi Saihara.
It’s the name of his new coworker… the one he’s supposed to be training. Oma’s worked at the place for not even a year, yet his boss says he’s qualified to teach the boy that was hired just a few days ago.
“Thank you for shopping! Have a great day!” He repeats his response, with his cyclic forced smile bridging his cheeks. It’s almost robotic, in how habitual and automatic it’s become after saying it to every single customer once they’ve paid. He looks to Saihara once the little bell on the door rings, signaling the exit of the customer, and he’s back to his normal expression. It’s not a frown, but it’s definitely not a smile either. “And that’s it. Did you want to try?” he offers, not really sure himself.
Saihara’s staring at him closely, like he doesn’t know what to make of him, but yet he still startles at the response. His brows furrow together but he does nod, so Oma moves aside and lets Saihara stand in front of the register instead. Saihara mumbles as he looks down at the keys, “I wonder why...”
Oma tilts his head at the unfinished sentence as he assesses Saihara. He’s taller than him, and he seems nervous. Oma can also see that he’s good looking, but he probably isn’t a very popular or outgoing person, judging by his mannerisms.
IV.
Working is… habitual for Oma. It’s not that he particularly hates it, and he does make money, but he only does it because he knows that he’d otherwise be doing legitimately nothing, and doing something at least makes him feel a little better about himself. Regardless of how much he dreads being a functional human being in general, he has to - he has to because he’s terrified of what will happen if he stops.
V.
“Ah, Oma-kun,”
Oma looks over with curiosity at the other as he restocks shelves. It’s only the two of them right now. There haven’t been many customers because of the cold, dreary weather. It’s also a Monday, so people are too busy working or at afterschool activities to have any need to stop at the relatively small convenience store.
“Your cheek…” Saihara trails off, scratching his wrist, and Oma reflexively lifts his hand and brushes his fingers over the scrape, reminding him of it with a slight sting.
He lifts up the corners of his cheeks, walls raising, “hmmmm?”
“W-wait, I have-” Saihara cuts himself off as he runs off into the employee’s only door. It’s a little room with a few tiny lockers that Oma throws his school bag in on the days he comes straight from school. Saihara comes back with a bag of his own and huh- Oma didn’t expect Saihara to have so many Danganronpa pins, or any really; there’s a little Monokuma keychain hanging from one of the zippers too. He raises his eyebrows and even smiles a little bit at the thought of someone else liking what he likes, but it’s smothered by the fear of being known, of showing who he really is, and Saihara is oblivious to all this as he tugs a band-aid out of the front pocket and hands it to Oma.
It’s like his mind fizzles like a burnt-out lightbulb for a second when Saihara, instead of just handing him the band-aid like a normal person, envelops Oma’s hand with his own and deposits the band-aid with the other. Oma’s sure that’s not normally how people give other people band-aids, or anything, but the feeling of Saihara’s shockingly warm hand is gone as quick as it arrived when he releases him and smiles. Oma’s even more embarrassed because he actually briefly considered if Saihara was a warm or cold hands person, which isn’t normal, because who does that? Who thinks about their co-worker’s hand temperature - who he doesn’t really know, but seems really nice, if handing him a band-aid could be considered a point of reference.
Oma’s not even sure what tangent his mind is going off on this time, so he looks down in his hand at the band-aid and sees that - huh, it’s got Kyoko Kirigiri on it. He must’ve mumbled her name aloud because Saihara gasps and has an expression that almost reminds Oma of a dog wagging its tail. “You watch Danganronpa?” Saihara grabs his hands again, and Oma knows he can’t blame his blush on anything else but Saihara if questioned.
He squeaks out an “mhm,” and tries to look back at the band-aid that’s now fallen on the floor after Saihara grabbed his hands, and he ends up just looking at their hands. Why is he so focused on Saihara holding his hands?
Saihara lets go and runs to put his bag away again, at least, that’s what Oma assumes. It gives him a moment to pick the band-aid up off the floor and come to realize why, in fact, Saihara handed him the band-aid in the first place. ...Does he… expect me to put this band-aid on my face?
...But, it would be rude not to. So he opens the band-aid and sticks it on his face, approximating where he puts the cottony part over the place on his face that’s stinging the most when he brushes his finger over it. It wasn’t even bleeding, but Saihara practically beams when he comes back, and the rest of his shift goes by like a fog. He’s not really able to focus on anything after experiencing that - he was completely unprepared.
VI.
Oma isn’t sure why he keeps thinking about Saihara. He’s ashamed of himself. Why does he keep going back to the feeling of Saihara’s hands on his? It was completely… platonic? Except Oma doesn’t think that word works either, because there’s no way him and Saihara are friends, even if they’ve spent a total of fifteen hours together total since he met Saihara three days ago; he’s known him three days, and already, he has some dumb, crush, or something. He doesn’t know what to do with it, and having not had any physical contact that wasn’t bodily damaging with someone in as many years as he can remember, isn’t helping him. He groans aloud as he face-plants into the open textbook on his mattress. He wouldn’t call it a bed, since it has no sheets and sits on the floor instead of being sandwiched between a bed frame.
He peers over to the side of his resting place where his little trash can is and of course, there’s the band-aid that he peeled from his cheek immediately after getting back from work last night - not home, he’s never “home” when he’s here - and of course everything he looks at is reminding him of the boy.
He’s not supposed to do this - to want to be held; he’s not a damn child. He definitely can’t count the number of times he’s thought about Saihara hugging him on one hand. He’s not supposed to do this.
For one of many times, he wonders why he’s like this. Why is he like this?
VII.
Oma’s something of a… target, at school. He fits the parameters perfectly; he’s small, short, effeminate, generally weak, quiet. It’s nothing dramatic like being beaten up within the school, luckily. It’s the little things, like being tripped in the hallways by an upperclassmen’s ‘conveniently’ outstretched foot and then snickered at, having a book of his be hung high above his head, out of his reach, by another student until he repeated whatever idiotic thing they wanted him to say, the occasional mockery, his belongings getting stolen when he’s not looking, being chosen as the designated monkey in the middle as his belongings are tossed between two guys that think they’re the absolute pinnacle of comedy, and various other meaningless things he deals with.
School is something he can handle, though.
VIII.
“Oma-kun.” Saihara ducks his head as he pushes his phone into Oma’s hands. It’s open on the contacts screen, and Oma stares at it for a second, the unfilled contact info, before realizing it’s Saihara’s roundabout way of asking him for his number. He smiles a little and Saihara’s eyes widen, his expression becoming pretty serious as he takes in Oma’s grin.
Oma doesn’t realize he’s smiling until Saihara points it out, “You’re smiling.”
Even though he’s a little self-conscious now it’s been acknowledged, he still nods, and smiles even wider; he hands the phone back to Saihara, his number in place.
IX.
He wishes he could handle being home as well as he can handle school.
X.
Saihara texts Oma a lot.
He’s constantly sending messages about anything and everything, especially Danganronpa. As Oma reads through he wonders if Saihara just texts him every time he thinks something. It doesn’t bother him though; every time he gets a new message he smiles in a way that he would deny if he were face to face with Saihara.
It’s a little weird, but hearing Saihara’s thoughts and theories and opinions is so interesting. Oma really hopes Saihara doesn’t get discouraged by his own lack of response. He doesn’t ignore him, but his replies are far and few between - things like little smile emotes and one-word responses. He doesn’t exactly know how to reply otherwise.
He can’t help but feel hesitant. Talking about his own opinions makes him feel self-centered and narcissistic, and he wants to be anything but that. What if Saihara thinks that he turns everything around to make it about himself? Saihara probably doesn’t want to hear what he has to say anyway… Oma’s come to accept the fact that people don’t want to hear what he has to say, so he stays quiet.
That doesn’t stop him from reading all of Saihara’s messages over again and grinning secretively under his blanket.
XI.
Saihara invites him over the next day. It’s Sunday, and neither of them is scheduled at work, so Oma accepts.
Getting ready is nerve-wracking for Oma, because he can’t remember the last time he had a friend to hang out with. It’s such a “normal people” thing to do - leisurely spend the day with friends. It’s a thing that feels so out of the ordinary to someone like Oma. He puts on a long sleeve shirt but then changes out of it after his nervousness makes his body temperature rise, and the sleeves feel a little too tight and warm. He puts it on again because of how bare his arms feel in a T-shirt and maneuvers around the floor and out the door before he can change his mind or before his aunt notices his presence.
The first impression Oma has of Saihara’s living space is that it’s quiet. It’s also pretty neat and ordinary, and Saihara makes no mention of any parents or relatives which leaves Oma feeling a little curious.
The day is surreal. He and Saihara talk and watch some of the earlier seasons of Danganronpa while eating some artificial tasting junk food, and it’s fun. It’s so fun. He’s shocked about how natural it feels, spending time with the other boy. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt so content, ever had a true, genuine smile on his face for so long - ever had someone else have such a genuine smile on their face in return.
Saihara asks him things and he answers them, because if he’s asked, then he can talk about himself. Oma’s glad that Saihara wants to know about him just as much as he wants to learn about Saihara.
He wants it to last, and there’s a twisting feeling in his chest because he’s already convinced that it won’t.
-
When Oma gets back, it’s late enough that he has to sneak in through his window - the apartment is on the ground floor, and the screen already has holes torn into it that make it easy to reach in and remove before placing it back and latching it in. The brass latch reminds him of the color of Shuichi’s eyes as he locks it - Oma’s not sure when Saihara became Shuichi - and he’s so caught up in Shuichi, and talking to Shuichi, that he jumps when a door slams, shaking all thoughts of his day out of his mind.
XII.
Oma doesn’t know what to do. The day after visiting Saihara had been one of the worse ones recently, and Shuichi catches onto it through his messages somehow and asks him if he’s okay of all things.
And Oma replies, “why?”
Oma doesn’t know what to do when Shuichi Saihara sends him the five-word message, “because I care about you…”
No one cares about him. That’s just how things are. There’s no way Saihara actually cares about him. Why would he?
XIII.
If Shuichi cares about him, then why couldn’t his parents?
XIV.
He’s not exactly sure when he and Shuichi became friends, but he supposes it happened somewhere between Shuichi making it known that he was generally concerned for Oma’s well being, (that’s never happened to him before; have someone be concerned? About him? The ridiculous idea rolls around in Oma’s head like an optimistic interposition), Oma realizing that on his days off, he’d long for Shuichi’s presence, and their countless messages to each other that make the longing a little more bearable.
It’s new to Oma. He’s never… craved the company of another. It makes him feel pathetic, but also… kind of lonely.
It makes the moments when he’s around Shuichi all the better.
XV.
He becomes Kokichi to Shuichi. Being addressed by his given name, despite giving Shuichi his explicit permission, makes Kokichi feel giddy.
XVI.
School isn’t so bad… especially on the days that Shuichi takes the train over so they can walk home together.
Side by side.
Hand in hand.
XVII.
He wants to kiss Shuichi.
XVIII.
Kokichi’s room is a less depressing place when he has Shuichi to sneak in. The two of them waste time by watching movies on Kokichi’s computer or playing board games that Shuichi carried in.
XIX.
Shuichi speaks up from behind the register when the store is devoid of customers. “I noticed…” he starts, scratching at his wrist, and Kokichi looks up to make eye contact “at first, you always had this smile on, but it was just pretend…”
Kokichi doesn’t have time to react before Shuichi’s continuing his train of thought.
“But when I asked for your phone number, you had a different smile for the first time. It made me really happy to see that I made you smile for real…” Shuichi fumbles with his hands, but Kokichi doubts that Shuichi’s more embarrassed than he is after hearing something so… sentimental.
XX.
Shuichi’s favorite thing about Kokichi may be seeing him smile, but Kokichi’s favorite thing about Shuichi is feeling his warm arms enveloping him when they hug.
Kokichi’s feelings have escalated so much that he’s drowning in them, and he doesn’t ever want to come up for air.
XXI.
Oma’s long sleeves usually hide the finger-sized bruises on his arms, but he can’t hide the ones around his neck.
Shuichi goes on high alert as he shuts the door behind them. It is the first time he’s seeing where Kokichi lives - besides when he snuck into Kokichi’s window with snacks to watch a movie on his computer - but it isn’t the time to take notice of the dilapidated state of the furniture and wallpaper. All he can focus on is the alarming marks on Kokichi’s neck that look like someone shoved him up against a wall and didn’t let him breathe for who knows how long. “What happened?" Concerned, he reaches a hand out to gesture and Oma flinches.
Oma wants to tell him, “I forgot to lock the door, so my aunt got mad,” because, she didn’t want him to begin with, it’s not her fault she got stuck with him after his parents left. He wasn’t wanted. At least he had somewhere to sleep, his aunt would tell him, and Oma thought she was right.
But he can’t tell him that, because that would mean seeing the look in Shuichi’s eyes as he realizes Kokichi is a burden to him too.
“It’s nothing,” he deflects.
It’s silent as Saihara mumbles, but in a way that’s loud enough to hear, “I knew something was off when we first met. When you got so guarded about how you got that scrape on your cheek. I thought maybe someone was bullying you at school, but after we started walking together, I knew that wasn’t the case.”
Oma shrinks back, but Saihara keeps going.
“I didn’t push it at the time, because it was none of my business, but… was it… your guardian?”
He says “guardian” because Oma hasn’t spoken a word to him about his aunt. But the silence is Shuichi’s answer.
“Kokichi, you have to tell someone- you can’t just let them-” let them what? Give him what he deserves? He’s a problem child. A burden. A -
“I can’t.” Saihara doesn’t understand. Oma doesn’t even have it that bad. It could be so much worse, and he can stick it out for a few more years, can’t he?
A failure. “It won’t get better if you don’t report this!”
Oma avoids his eyes. “Shut up.”
A mistake. “I’m trying to help,” he says pleadingly, desperately.
“Maybe I don’t want your help! I’m not some problem that you have to solve Saihara!”
Saihara’s lips thin and when Oma expects him to retaliate he just - leaves. He turns around and runs off, shutting the door behind him.
It’s only after he’s gone and Oma is standing in the middle of the quiet, empty room that Oma is encompassed in the feeling of absolute dread.
XXII.
Saihara doesn’t show up for work the next day. Oma feels guilt gnawing at him during his shift, because it’s all his fault. He shouldn’t have pushed Saihara away. He texts him “sorry” and “can we talk?” through budding tears and hopes Saihara can forgive him.
XXIII.
He hasn’t texted him back anything in the past forty-eight hours, so Oma sighs and lets his feelings pour out in a long message when Saihara doesn’t answer his call. He tells him that he’s sorry, and that he doesn’t want Saihara to hate him.
XXIV.
The water cup he filled the night before has an almost stale taste to it in the morning, but Oma drinks it anyway because his throat is dry, and he can’t summon the energy to get up even though he’s been sleeping for the past thirteen hours. He’s still tired once he sets the cup down so he scrolls mindlessly through his past messages to and from Saihara before staring at Saihara’s last message to him, before their fight. He hasn’t said anything since.
He doesn’t go to school; he’s already sleeping again by the time it starts and he’s too preoccupied to care.
XXV.
With no reply, Oma gets worried really quickly. It’s unlike Saihara to completely… cut him off. He at least figured Saihara would reject his apology upfront instead of hiding away and giving him the silent treatment.
His chest makes that twisting feeling again and he feels unbearably nauseous when he goes to Saihara’s apartment and no one opens the door. There’s not even the telltale sound of footsteps towards the door to signal someone checking who’s there.
It’s like no one’s home.
-
He sits curled up in his blankets and practically spams Saihara with messages of “please answer me” and “tell me that you’re okay” but Saihara answers none of them. He’s sweating, and heaving, and he doesn’t care if Saihara hates him, he only wants him to say something. Oma needs a reply so he doesn’t keep panicking like he is now, thinking something happened to Saihara; he feels sick, and he can’t stop thinking about it.
XXVI.
Oma tries to rationalize. Saihara doesn’t have any family, and after Oma shut him out, maybe he simply… left. Just because he disappeared doesn’t mean something bad happened.
But, Oma thinks, what if something bad did happen. What if Saihara was abducted - or - or - killed? The thought of Saihara being dead makes Oma so uncomfortable; his throat feels like it’s closing up and it’s hard to swallow his own saliva. He’s growing more and more anxious each day he shows up to work and Saihara isn’t there beside him, despite being scheduled.
XXVII.
The metal of the buttons and zipper on his clothes feel especially cold against his skin as he gets ready for school. He probably looks terrible, but he can’t find it in himself to worry about that.
He has more important things to worry about.
Saihara is more important.
XXVIII.
Oma remembers sending in his Danganronpa application and thinks, this would be the perfect time to forget everything I’ve ever cared about, but then, what if Saihara comes back?
He wants Saihara to come back.
He wants to say sorry for shutting him out when he shouldn’t have.
He wants to have more long conversations about whatever comes to mind.
He wants to see Saihara smile at him again.
He wants to sit next to Saihara and watch movies for hours on end.
He wants to feel Saihara’s hands on his like that day when Saihara gave him that stupid Kirigiri band-aid.
He wants Saihara to forgive him.
XXIX.
His aunt makes him feel worthless.
XXX.
He should’ve kissed him when he had the chance.
XXXI.
Oma lies in his unmade bed, staring up at the ceiling, phone in hand.
It’s been over a week.
Why hasn’t Saihara replied to him? How can he fix this? Did Saihara forget about him like everyone else has?
His eye sockets are weighed down by a combination of depression and sleep deprivation.
His phone speaker blares through the silence - his alarm - his mind supplies through the ever-unchanging headache. He turns it off, already awake, and forces himself out of the temporary comfort of his blanket’s embrace, and gets dressed for work. Because he has to. Because he doesn’t know what else he’ll do if he doesn’t.
Because he hopes Saihara will show up.
(He doesn’t.)
On his walk home from work, he’s approached and pulled into a car, hearing the engine and looking out at the silent street as he falls into panicked unconsciousness. The initiation for the fifty-third killing game commences.
-
Ouma hesitates as he comes to the memories section of the contract. Even after everything, the participants won’t get their memories back... he won’t remember ever meeting Saihara; he won’t remember falling in love. He’ll know of nothing but whatever backstory Team Danganronpa cooks up for him.
But...
Saihara’s gone. As hard as it is to think about, Ouma doesn’t think Saihara will be waiting for him once the simulation ends. No one cares about him anyways, so he might as well make things interesting, right?
...right?
Ouma’s nose is tingly; his lower eyelids are about to spill over as he signs the contract, signing his past and present away.
Two doors down, Shuichi Saihara does the same.
I.
Life has no meaning.
I also posted this on my Ao3 Account (More A/N there)
#SaiOu Winter Exchange#fanfic#oumasai#omasai#kokichi ouma#shuichi saihara#kokichi oma#ouma kokichi#oma kokichi#saihara shuichi#kokichi x shuichi#shuichi x kokichi#saiouma#saioma#angst#pregame#pregame ouma#pregame saihara#pregame saiouma#danganronpa v3#hurt/comfort#tw implied/referenced abuse#fluff#gift#saiouwe2019
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my littleadhdwins
umm....my mind is blanking...i overused her
i....today...unn...i cant remember
wow what the hell
i finished another quiz
i compiled our data for lab report
i taught how to do the lab and the quiz to my friend (TAUGHT NOT CHEATED)
attended class....barely learned...
watched a lecture video
swept the floor of my room
prepared the dinner table
finished half of my math homework
ate ice cream as a snack
started my homework for therapy
mybhead hurts and im not eating well...my stomach ALWAYS growling like calm tf down. SHUTUP. i fed you vegetables and stuff. With pork liver. thats healthy. Ok fine ill eat more. im sorry i snapped at you 😭😭😭
so crazy. AAARGHHH everything's crazy. Im not learning much but i keep passing shit. How does that even work. Im neglecting watching lecture stuff and reading PowerPoints just jumping straifht to answering exercises. Like speed running learning. I cant keep this up tbh
But i must end this on a positive note. I am being as responsible as i can, i have made a lot of progress on my school works, and i am helping others while receiving help from gracious people i have been blessed to meet.
I shouldnt forget the enormous support ive been gettinh from my dear friends who are also surely struggling right now and their willingness to help me makes me very happy and stronger. Im very happy also for my dogs who are so lovable and loving. My siblings are busy but they do not mind thr change in my demeanor, iam not as cheerful and playful as i usually am and they dont judge me for it.
My best friends keep in touch with me and make me happy with their jokes and stories and love.
I am proud of myself for asking questions, learning as much as i can in a tough situation, and helping out at home when i can. I dont want to neglect my studies becsuse i want to be rich and powrrful enough to help my fellow filipinos in poverty, to fund their needd and causes and whatever else they need.
I shoild be stsying positive despite not having the best home life and now school life. Yes i can get frustrsted but i WONT let the madness consume me...ok thats it daki out 👋😁
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yee yee !!! me ?? being habitually late as usual ??? ppl everywhere r shocked !!! but hi i’m baby i’m nineteen and yr resident mark lee stan, yr fave irl usagi tsukino & i only wear socks that have cute designs or characters on them bc being cute & obnoxious is all i’ve got going 4 me !!! let me introduce u to my babyboy who’s addicted 2 crime shows and drinking icees 24/7 !!! he’s so smart but so DUMB he can solve complicated equations in mere minutes but if u flirt w/ him he’ll die on the spot dhfhs ps plot w/ me pls u can hit me up on d*scord @ hentai lovers anonymous #8965 i’ll send u barely coherent hcs @ 3am & for a limited time only i’ll send u dog pics !!!
triggers: uhhh bad jokes, a deadbeat dad, a terminally ill mother, substance abuse
- ̗̀ ❛ muse 8, jeon jungkook, he/him. ❜ ̖́- did you hear about the monaco trip? it’s legendary at ucla. maddox “max” seo is going, i’m so jealous. their instagram makes it seem like they’re pretty ingenious and they’re all about crime shows & spiked cherry icees. can you believe they’re only twenty-one and they’re going on a free trip to monaco for the summer? hopefully they don’t let their audacious side show too much on the trip. ( baby, she/her, mst)
backstory.
ok so basically growing up he’s only ever known his mother. his dad had skipped camp shortly after max was born only to make a very brief, drunk cameo at max’s 7th birthday party which only made max hate him more fjdhgj
having a single mom was cool in a lot of ways !!! for example whenever they cld afford to go to theme parks they didn’t have to worry abt who had to sit with who & she let max stay up reading or playing animal crossing after he’d finished his schoolwork
its hard parenting solo so he was always a little bit of a wild child hhg but w/ a cause !!! once a girl in his class got pushed by two boys and he kicked their asses !!! and his mom was like ..... im glad u respect women but pls i cant afford 2 bail u out of jail when u grow up
he’s been getting in fights w/ others since he cld walk lbr hell even CRAWL
but it was also difficult in a lot of ways too. he often wore thrifted clothes or hand me downs that were barely hanging on by a thread. his mom was always busy at work and she was so exhausted by the time she came home that it physically pained max
but she always made time for him. she was so ??? selfless ??? she’d drop everything to watch his science fairs and she was always front row at his spelling bees. she never let money stop max from pursuing his hobbies. when max wanted to join baseball in middle school she worked extra shifts to pay for his equipment.
his freshman year of high school his mom started to get rlly sick but like jhhfgsh they were a low income family w/ not so great insurance so she put it off until she absolutely couldn’t anymore and she was diagnosed with leukemia
it was an emotional and financial strain for the both of them. he started working as well as continuing his studies. hospital bills are outrageous & the healthcare system doesn’t rlly care abt poor families u know
before the trip the doctors announced that his mother’s leukemia was terminal and that she likely only had a year tops left. so max almost turned down coming on the trip altogether but his mom insisted and asked him to go and take pictures and call her every day so she could live vicariously through him
and she pinky promised she’d hold on until he made it back home. she probably won’t. but he can’t afford to lose her bc thats his emotional support parent the only person whos loved him even tho hes temperamental & a smartass
he juggled school, work, parties, & taking care of his mom.
he’s going for something in psychobiology or forensic pathology but he !!! can’t decide !!!
hcs.
if u call him maddox his eye wil l start twitching jfdghkdgjh his dad is the one who named him so he Hates his full name.
super intelligent ??? but only abt very niche things like if u wanna talk abt pyschobiology or the applications of imaginary numbers in everyday life he’s all in if its abt common sense tho ??? max has left the chat
started experimenting w/ substances shortly after his mom was diagnosed 2 help him cope
always drinking spiked cherry & coke icees ??? everyones always like wtf where do u even get that
facetimes w/ his mom every single day & is always asking the other to take pics of him so he can send them to her
hasn’t told anyone abt his mom because he Hates being pitied ??? like after all ,,, he’s not the one w/ leukemia
he has crushes on anyone thats either too nice or too mean to him fhsdhgkshg he never dated when he was younger so he’s like ???? u looked at me for 5 seconds we r in love
vvv hardworking !!!! but also !!!! goofs around sm u start wondering if he is smart for Real
cries when he talks abt how much he loves his mom
ok lstn ,,,, he Rarely sleeps he’s always keeping himself busy bc if he’s busy then he doesn’t have to deal with how guilty he feels abt leaving his mom behind
so he’s spending this whole trip: Barely Sober
when hes drunk he recites the opening scene for law & order svu and hums the intro very off-key over and over
swears he has 36746 unsolved cases Solved
has a crush on every single anime girl ever hkshkhgk
got into ucla on an academic scholarship but he’s still drowning in debt so he sells iLLeGaL substances 4 cash
he’s on the baseball team & in lacrosse on top of being in 467364 clubs which is why hes BUff but also tired
this is all ive got i made this up on a whim gdfjagjh
tldr: he hates his dad & his name, loves his very sick mother, is chaotic but somehow smart & he falls in love like five times a day but he’s a libra what did u Expect
#monaco:intro#ok as far as plots go i will and can DO Anything#also im srry im always late 2 these things jhkdhgkj i swear its a bad gene i inherited i dnt think ive ever been on time
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my platonic gf made me do this (even tho she’s not on tumblr rn)
1. What is you middle name? - San Roque
2. How old are you? - 16
3. When is your birthday? - November 11, 2002
4. What is your zodiac sign? - Sun: Scorpio Moon: Aquarius
5. What is your favorite color? - Dark colors in general (mostly maroon, blue and monochrome)
6. What’s your lucky number? - 11 or 13
7. Do you have any pets? - 3 dogs (but i rlly take care of 1)
8. Where are you from? - Philippines, Metro Manila
9. How tall are you? - 5��5” and a half
10. What shoe size are you? - I think 9-10 (???)
11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? - 3 (4 if u include my school shoes)
12. What was your last dream about? - I was in school and we were peforming for a rlly big event (it was shitty)
13. What talents do you have? - I can play the guitar, barely sing, sorta dance, and some chinese
14. Are you psychic in any way? - When it comes to my sister, and some romantic situations irl, and i can predict scenes from movies i havent seen
15. Favorite song? oh god that’s hard, the soundtracks for both heathers and six, every song in my g a y playlist in spotify (king princess, joji, billie eilish, rizha, etc.)
16. Favorite movie? - The girl king (despite the annoying power dynamic0 and heathers (despite the cringe) and almost every marvel movie
17. Who would be your ideal partner? - @alexconfusion if u weren’t such a fuqing baby (fyi, @alexgoestosleep i wont steal them from u, they’re just sorta my ideal type)
18. Do you want children? - Like one or two (girls preferably)
19. Do you want a church wedding? - Hell nah (but ill be fine either way)
20. Are you religious? - Sorta (raised a catholic, but my faith waivers)
21. Have you ever been to the hospital? - Nope just visited folks
22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? - nah
23. Have you ever met any celebrities? - Regine velasquez at snr once
24. Baths or showers? - showers
25. What color socks are you wearing? - Im not wearin socks rn, but if i were, grey
26. Have you ever been famous? - Does having 392 followers in tumblr consider being famous??
27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? - Yes and no
28. What type of music do you like? - Smth with guitars, maybe even synth-pop or smth. and some classical shit
29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? - Nope, and never will
30. How many pillows do you sleep with? - 2, 3 if im with my bro
31. What position do you usually sleep in? - On either side with a pillow to hug
32. How big is your house? - Just 1 floor, a small backyard, and a front porch (i think idk filipino houses are hard to explain)
33. What do you typically have for breakfast? - Coffee and bread, instant noodles if i feel like it
34. Have you ever fired a gun? - Do airsoft guns count?
35. Have you ever tried archery? - Nah, but id love to
36. Favorite clean word? - boop
37. Favorite swear word? - shit, fuck,cunt, bitch, faggot (i call my friend like that never as an offense its just our thing)
38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? - 36 hours or maybe even 48
39. Do you have any scars? -A scar on my right arm cuz of a vaccine
40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? - Sorta, but he was a guy and a creep and a bitch so...
41. Are you a good liar? - sorta
42. Are you a good judge of character? - Maybe idk
43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? - I have a very bad butchered british accent that sounds like im crunching in some scottish or smth
44. Do you have a strong accent? - Not that i know of
45. What is your favorite accent? - British and australian
46. What is your personality type? - Resting bitch face, quiet but a rlly good friend (apparently) im sorta clingy and hyper sometimes
47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? - I think my prom dress, other than that, my giordano long sleeves
48. Can you curl your tongue? - sorta
49. Are you an innie or an outie? - innie
50. Left or right handed? - left
51. Are you scared of spiders? - As long as they’re small im good, i fear the big ones
52. Favorite food? - Japanese food, some korean food, pasta, ribs, and sisig
53. Favorite foreign food? - ^ (except for sisig)
54. Are you a clean or messy person? - An organized mess
55. Most used phrased? - Is it gay?
56. Most used word? - gay
57. How long does it take for you to get ready? - 20-30 mins, i try to prepare everything the day before
58. Do you have much of an ego? - Idk, i think not
59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? - suck
60. Do you talk to yourself? - Yes, too many fucking times
61. Do you sing to yourself? - In the shower its great 10/10 would recommend
62. Are you a good singer? - Sorta?? Depends on the style of the song
63. Biggest Fear? - Socializing online idk lmao
64. Are you a gossip? - Depends on who im gossiping with, but not too much lol
65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? - Idk, none of them are rlly great
66. Do you like long or short hair? - short
67. Can you name all 50 states of America? - Binch no, i aint american
68. Favorite school subject? - Social studies
69. Extrovert or Introvert? - Introvert but im a bit of both sorta
70. Have you ever been scuba diving? - no
71. What makes you nervous? - people
72. Are you scared of the dark? - nope
73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? - Yes, especially when it comes to talking in english, im a grammar nazi
74. Are you ticklish? - yes,Stomach, sides, neck, feet, and certain parts on my back
75. Have you ever started a rumor? - nope
76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? - I was the secretary of my class last year, and ive been the leader for our thesis
77. Have you ever drank underage? - Does wine count? (only during new year tho)
78. Have you ever done drugs? - nope
79. Who was your first real crush? - I honestly dont know, but i think it was this one girl named Renee (nuffsaid)
80. How many piercings do you have? - Before one for each ear, i lost them now so none
81. Can you roll your Rs? - If i need to, like if its a spanish name or smth
82. How fast can you type? - Idk,
83. How fast can you run? - Sorta fast thanks to my legs, but my stamina is hella short so not long
84. What color is your hair? - A mix of brown and sorta like bronze (this one particular part of my hair especially)
85. What color is your eyes? - brown
86. What are you allergic to? - none
87. Do you keep a journal? - Im starting to rn
88. What do your parents do? - Both of them have their own businesses
89. Do you like your age? - Yea i guess, unless my parents start comparing my maturity with my age
90. What makes you angry? --A lot of things (im moody), esp. When my sis starts judging what i like
91. Do you like your own name? -Sorta, i mean a lot of ppl mispronounce my name and make fun of it when u add my last name to it
92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? - honestly idk, but i plan to name them with confusing names (or not idk)
93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? - Both girls
94. What are you strengths? - Maybe that i’m honest esp when def needed, i have this motherly side (sorta), i know a lot of shit
95. What are your weaknesses? - Im clingy, im socially awkward, im easily demotivated, idk how emotions work
96. How did you get your name? - There was a joke that my mom thought i was gonna be a boy so they named me jonathan, but since i was a girl and jonathan tan was gonna be redundant, they added mae as my second name, removed the -than and now its J**** Mae Tan
97. Were your ancestors royalty? - Not that i know of, but one of my ancestors was an important figure in the revolution in my country so.... yea
98. Do you have any scars? - On my right arm cuz of a vaccine
99. Color of your bedspread? - I share a bed with my siblings (sadly) but rn its blue
100. Color of your room? - With my siblings, eggshell white or smth, but i wanted the color sky blue once i get my own room
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50 Questions for your Sim
Hiiiii everyone, im back from the dead to do this questionnaire 😍
I was tagged by @mada-didi, thank you so so much, if you’ve ever saw my posts you know I love these things.
I’ll tag @clannad03, @sunshinepixels and @bubble-sims, sorry for any double tags 😇
I’mmmmmm gonna do Gemma cause shes my main rp character and Im trying to develop her.
1. How old is your sim? 20
2. When is your sim’s birthday? December 25th
3. What is your sim’s zodiac sign? Cap ♑
4. What is your sim’s ethnicity? I always have just classified myself as white/american. I should get myself an ancestry DNA thing
5. Does your sim have any nicknames? Just Gem
6. Do they have a job? Im a receptionist at a spa
7. Where does your sim live? Sunlit Tides ��
8. Who does your sim live with? My two loves, Will and Alistair
9. What environment did your sim grow up in? (strict, loving, cold etc.) I’d say very loving. I was born as the youngest of four already excited and loving siblings, with parents who had stable jobs working with kids, so they had lots of love to share. Sure, we had our fights with each other, and I definitely went down the wrong path at first, but they were always there for me to come home to.
10. What are your sim’s favourite foods? Can’t go wrong with pizza
11. What is your sim’s favourite drink? Mimosas and coffee, sometimes in that order 😜
12. If they have one what is your sim’s favourite color? Red, always
13. Does your sim believe in any clichés? (love at first sight) I believe in the one about having cats walk your path and then having a good day or something? Other than that not really.
14. What is your sim’s sexuality? Straight
15. What is your sim’s gender identity? Female (she/her(s))
16. Is your sim type A or type B? I really have no idea, i don’t really do much psychology
17. Is your sim introverted or extroverted? Extroverted
18. What is your sim’s favourite woohoo position? Lmaoooo uhhhm, anything that has me wrapping my legs around his waist, that’s so comfortable for me lol
19. Is your sim a pet person? If so what is their favourite animal? Dogs of course!! I grew up with 4 of them and I can’t wait to get another with my kids one day 😇
20. Does your sim have a best friend? Adriana, Meadow, Evelynn, Will ?
21. What is/was your sim’s favourite school subject? I didn’t really go to school long enough to have a fave subject 🤦♀️ But in grade school I really liked our poetry sessions we had in writing. Don’t think i could write anything above third grade level in poetry now tho....,
22. Is/was your sim a high, mid or low achiever in school? Most of the time I was skipping class to smoke in the back parking lot, so that might give you an idea of who I was then
23. Are they planning to go or have they already been to college? If so, what would be or what was their major? I’m not in college at all but I am in hair styling school, taking the time to get my certificate for that though, cause theres no rush
24. What are your sim’s political beliefs? (if they have them) ((I feel like there are no political rulers in sims ???? except Me™)) I kind of try to stay out of that area.
25. What is one thing your sim wants to do before they die? Swim with dolphins 💙
26. Does your sim have a favourite TV show (cable) and/or movie? Does it have to be a cable movie? Cause those are no good. Im a sap, I like This is Us and The Village.
27. Is your sim a Netflix viewer? If so what are their top 3 shows. Nailed It, Girls Incarcerated annddddd, Nailed It
28. Does your sim like books? Most of the books I read are for kids 😭 29. Does your sim enjoy video games, if so what is their favourite one and do they play on PC or console? I had enough brothers in my house playing video games without me while growing up, so I never really felt the need to get into it ?
30. What is your sim’s personal style? I like to get insp from the so called ‘instagram baddies’, thats not really working out while Im pregnant thooooo
31. Does your sim have a lucky charm? nah
32. Is your sim religious? I go to church sometimes and we went growing up, I believe in mostly Christian taught stuff as far as the religious side of it goes.
33. What kind of music does your sim listen to and who is their favourite artist? I like G-Eazy, Panic!, mcr, emo bands ? 34. Is your sim a festive person? If so what’s their favourite holiday? I really like christmas for obvious reasons 😜
35. What is your sim’s favourite type of weather? Snowwww, which we barely get in Sunlit Tides
36. Does your sim prefer to start fights or finish them? Being a capricorn,,,. I do both just when Im bored
37. Does your sim have a dream job? Ive always just wanted to have a little family of my own, never really thought about a real career
38. Does your sim have any siblings? YEs❤ 3 brothers and a sister. Jayden, Mason, Emmett and Ainsley
39. Does your sim get along with their family? Absolutely
40. What is your sim’s favourite hobby? I like to draw out outfits for me to wear, or listen to music or work out
41. What does your sim look for in a romantic partner? Someone who can keep me grounded and calm, who makes me feel like im Home
42. What is a secret about your sim? I guess not many people know Isabelle is my first born?
43. What is a wish your sim has? Get married one day
44. What is a flaw your sim has? My birth mark Id say
45. How do others generally perceive your sim? I dont get very nice looks when Im out with Ali what with being so young and all, the bump I have now isnt helping. I wish people would just mind their business and know Im not just a messed up teen mom..... anymore
46. Does your sim have a greatest achievement? Graduating high school, a year late but I made it 👏
47. If they have one, what is your sim’s greatest regret? Sometimes I regret not having an open adoption with Isabelle. I mean, I get to see her but she still thinks Im her aunt Gemma :(
48. Does your sim have a favourite emoji? 💋💎🤦♀️
49. Does your sim use Simstagram? I use this one ?
50. What is the last text your sim sent (and who did they text)? Texted Will saying “Babbeeyy, can we have thai food tonight?😇” He said of course ❣
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❤ [ love, Sebastian ]
FOUR AND ONE // @asteriananthologies
❤ five four times my muse says they don’t love yours, and the one time they admit it.
I. Cecelia’s life has improved greatly the day she realised it didn’t need to be anyones birthday to buy cake. During the awkward ten minutes between her getting out of work and Charlotte getting out of school she had picked out a three layer chocolate cake, grin on her face from tesco. Of course, Charlie had chastised her for the decision, although it didn’t stop her digging in when they got home. Probably because she knew this was the closest thing Celia got to making dinner. Perched against the breakfast bar in the kitchen, while Charlie sat in one of the spinning chairs, they each attacked the cake with forks, enjoying the almost rebellious feel of not cutting it up into slices. “Do you think you and daddy would ever get back together?” Innocent eyes look up at Celia, as if she was just asking if she had a nice day at work. She knew what she was doing, Cee was sure of it.
As she chews on her mouthful of cake, she pretends to consider. She can understand her daughter’s desire. It would be nice to have a settled home life. “No. We’re very different people now. Does that make you sad?”
To her mother’s surprise, Charlie shakes her head rather vigorously, swallowing her cake before admitting, “I like having two christmases.” Celia points her fork towards her with a lazy flick of her wrist, as if to say, that’s my girl. “I know why you don’t want to be with James though. It’s because you love Sebastian now. That’s okay by the way, I know I should be sad about it but I like Seb too.” She gets it all out in one breath, obviously it’s been on her mind for a while. Now Cecelia really does choke on her cake; coughing and spluttering as she meets the younger girls look, shock etched into her own watering eyes. “Charlotte, I do not love Moran. What the hell?”
II. “You do know that if- when this all goes to plan, your boyfriend shall be going to prison as well, Cece?”
221b Baker Street was a mess of files, papers, documents, crime scene photos and half drunk cups of tea. No seat, surface or inch of wallpaper was free from some sort of proof that James Moriarty was, in fact, the world’s most evil man alive. Or at least, in the opinion of the rooms occupants. Sherlock lent against the mantelpiece, looking tired but satisfied while Mycroft and John had managed to clear enough space on the dining room chairs to sit. Celia, on the other hand, stood in the middle of the room, looking around their compiled evidence with barely hidden glee, only for her smile to fall at Sherlock’s words. “And who exactly is my boyfriend today?”
But it was John who offered up an answered, muffled slightly by the hand covering his face. “Sebastian Moran is my first guess.” He peaks through his fingers to see Celia’s look of shock mingled fury and grins at her. “Cee, we’ve been following Moriarty’s staff for weeks. You think we didn’t know you met up with him? We actually considered you might be working for Moriarty at one point. They Sherlock noticed you were twirling your hair around your finger whenever you talked to him. Classic Cecelia in love move. Mary confirmed it for us.” All three of the men seemed to get more and more satisfaction from her, as Cecelia stared about, open mouthed. She actually hadn’t known they were following Sebastian. They had considered that as risky as following Moriarty himself, but obviously they had worked around that. Without telling her! Maybe this was back when they thought she might have been a double agent. She’s actually sort of pleased with that vote of confidence from them all, but the idea that she was in love with Sebastian Moran? Fucking ridiculous. She stutters over her words. “I don’t– I’m not– for fuck sake!” They’re all grining now. “I do not love Sebastian fucking Moran!”
III. Celia has never been good with blood. The fact she only gets vaguely nauseous these days is actually a grande improvement. Having completed one year of medicine at university though seems to have given people this idea that she’s practically a doctor. What most people don’t seem to realise is she spent every second class outside the lab breathing deeply in an attempt to get the corrider to stop spinning. She’s half convinced that this ‘turning up on her doorstep bleeding to death’ thing is her friends idea of exposure therapy. She also doesn’t totally buy that she was the closest safe house to Sebastian when he got stabbed; surely Moriarty has better places for his staff, and his second in command no less, to get stitched up than her house. Still, apart from all the blood, she’s pleased to see him. It gives her a little rush to know that he would come to her when in need. She’s always liked to be needed. “I want you to know,” Cee begins, breathing through her mouth as she pokes him with her needle, wincing herself, “that I’m not doing this out of love or compassion or anything, I’m doing it so you don’t bleed all over my carpet. Medical care is free in England, ya know? I’m charging you.”
IV. What might be for the first time in her life, Celia looks awful. Her whole face is completely drained of blood and dark bags underline her eyes; a mess of lack of sleep and waterproof mascara not coming off. She can’t exactly sit up to greet him, three broken ribs will do that to you, but she does offer Moran a grin. Maybe it’s the fluorescent hospital lights, but even this small amount of effort seems to flush her cheeks and sickly green.
She knows what he did. Moriarty would have likely gone the full hog and killed her the night previous if it wasn’t for him. Cee would have liked to say she didn’t give the criminal mastermind what he wanted but her threshold for pain is very low and she’ll cry at the drop of a hat these days. She’s not sure how long Moriarty got alone with her. It felt like hours but it could have been minutes for all she knows. He had sweetly explained to her that he was going to hurt her with the intention of causing the most pain he could, without allowing her to pass out or become unconscious from lack of blood. You can imagine the mess Cecelia was in then when Mycroft finally showed up with an army of policemen and ambulance crew, no Moriarty in sight. But she knew, she knew who had talked Moriarty out of his plan, and she knew who had called her brothers. He had appeared above her last night, in a haze of tears and pain like a guardian angel, willing her to stay awake. It was so hazy now she could not have been sure it was even him, but his visit to her sick bed confirmed it for her. He can’t stay long, she knows that before her says it. The only thing worse that Mycroft finding out would be Moriarty finding out about his visit. She’s starting to understand now. “It wasn’t just because of our case against him,” she whispers, her throat dry and scratchy from all the screaming and begging the night before. “He thinks you–” tears are rolling down her cheeks already. “He thinks we love each other.” She forced a smile. “I assured him we did not.”
V. It had been months of rain. She knew that was impossible, if the rain didn’t let up for months they would probably all drown or something, but that’s what it felt like. New York City was as grey as London was when she left it. The whole world was grey without Charlie in it. Pointless people leading pointless lives, going about their business like the world didn’t end when Charlotte Holmes did. Cecelia’s world ended. She’ll carry on for the sake of carrying on but her hearts not really in it anymore. She tries to find passions in other things; persuading herself that Charlie wouldn’t have wanted her to just give up. In truth she doesn’t know what Charlotte would have wanted. It probably doesn’t even occur to a nine year old what she would want for her mother after she died. Parents shouldn’t have to bury their children; it was one of life’s sickest jokes. In a shallow attempt to remove herself from her own grief, Cecelia had uprooted her life in London and gone across the pond. New York had always held a sort of fantastic distraction for her before, but the grey cloud had followed her over to the States and hung above her head as a permanent fixture. Everyone was getting bored of her depression, she could feel them judging her silently, it’s been a couple months now, she should be over it.
She’s been so numb to everything lately she isn’t even worried her door is unlocked, even though she is sure she did leave it locked this morning. It’s not like her to be so forgetful, although she’s not been herself of late. But the light on the living room… that is wrong. The man on the chair in the corner? Definitely out of place. She didn’t leave that here this morning. “Oh my god, what do you want?” She throws her purse to the sofa, heading directly to the drinks cabinet. He’s already got there before her; doors open; glass missing. “I have nothing–” her voice breaks and presses her hand to her mouth to cover a sob. “I have nothing else to give you Sebastian!”
It’s sick how much she’s missed him. She’s wanted to hate him, tried to with all her heart. But, as hard as she tries, she can’t. She can’t even blame him. He didn’t want her dead, she’s vaguely aware he’s as cut up about it as anyone. Maybe not her, but surely she gets some sort of mothers-privilege. She gets to be the most sad.
“What happened? Did she go with you with willingly? That’s how much that little girl trusted you. She left her own home with you because– because I said she would always be safe with you. I did. I promised her.” This has been bubbling for weeks. The grief has given way to anger, finally. It makes her even more mad that he’s going to just sit there and take it like a wounded puppy. That’s all he is, he’s a dog on a leash, Moriarty giving commands. Sit boy, come, fetch Charlotte Holmes and lead her to her death! It makes her sick.
“I trusted you.” Her voice is thick with tears. “I did more than that, I loved you. I loved you so much.”
#me? crying? probably#blood --#torture --#child death --#asteriananthologies#( ᴏᴏᴄ ┊ ʏᴏᴜ’ᴠᴇ ɢᴏᴛ ᴍᴀɪʟ! ) ⤿ message#( ᴏᴛᴘ ┊ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ ) ⤿ cee & sebastian
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No, i dont have experience owning any business, but ive been theorizing for years and i have worked in businesses like the ones i want to start. They ran a small cafe, but their main income was orders for cakes. THEY HAD LIMITS ON HOW MANY ORDERS COULD BE DONE IN ONE DAY. There were maximum of x orders they could do every day, and its just a little too bad for the customer if they cant get in on that day, even if it was a holiday. Because they didnt think of how many orders they could get/money they could make, they thought of how many orders can realistically be filled by 1-2 people per day. If i have 1 employee and myself, over 8 hours we can maybe do 5 orders each, plus maybe some prep for the next day totaling about 12-14 orders over 2 days. I dont care if its Christmas, or Thanksgiving or Mothers day (easily the biggest day in bakery sales of the year). The place i worked also had a policy of no day-of orders unless it was already in the bakery case. You needed to give 24 hour notice for a custom order.
Ive also worked in places that ran the kitchen at full capacity with half the staff because they had a full wait staff. I worked there for 5 months and then the stress got to be too much and i left, but in those 5 months we never had more than 10 people in the kitchen meant for 16 people as a skeleton crew (including chefs and covering the whole day), but they had a full wait staff so they ran the restaurant at full capacity, while taking online and delivery orders, and that was at its best. At its worst, we would have 4 people in the kitchen over the entire day, because they all worked doubles. Most weeks i worked 3 double shifts, open to close (9-8 or 9 or 10 with an hour break). Then the holidays hit and i had a mental break and couldnt get myself to go back.
My point is that in my experience, smaller businesses care more about their people than their profit. They didnt overwork their people because they were only open 5 days a week for 8 hours because they had an actual bare bones crew and didnt want to overwork them because they dont have other locations to pick up the slack through the rough patch.
I can name at least 4 restaurants in my area that are chains and have been closed down for a year due to lack of staffing, but they still pay the lease because they are a part of a corporation who keeps them open so they dont lose the real estate. Ive received job offers from those restaurants for management positions that pay less than what im making now working under management. High schoolers working at mcdonalds make more than what theyre posting for management. Theyre not paying a living wage. If i was living by myself, there isnt an apartment within 15 miles of here that would be cheap enough for me to live in by myself. Ftlog, my bf works security at a government contracted ammo plant and he isnt armed or trained (outside of his previous national guard training), nor is he paid a living wage. Together we can afford a small 800 square foot apartment, which theyre charging a lot for because they got bought out by a rental company recently and they remodeled some of the units and have washer/dryer in the unit (which is such a blessing).
Didnt really have a conclusion and then it turned into a rant, sorry. I grew up in a middle class family in a huge house with generous parents. They always let us do what we wanted for hobbies, sometimes even did them with us, and hell my parents let me live at home and lent me a car to drive while i was in college, and if i couldnt work during the time i was in school they paid for the gas. My parents were super generous people and i hate that i took that for granted for so long, because they had 4 kids all with different and expensive interests to the point that my mom was working a second job, on top of being a full time special ed teacher and my dads 6 figure work from home income. Now im living in the situation where when i go see my dog at their place sometimes i steal some bread and peanut butter because i cant afford it myself, or maybe they have some frozen veggies that i can have and then maybe i get a vegetable that week. Honestly cant remember when i last had fruit, or protein that wasnt from work, which means it was 3 slices of ham or bacon as part of a breakfast sandwich. For gods sake i cant afford milk, instead i buy those mio things (i call them squirties) for the same price and i drink those with with tap water because on its own its gross. Or maybe some cokes expired at work and i get those.
My point is that everyone wants workers who can do everything (and what sucks about me is i love learning new things and im fast at it so im like every employers dream so they usually overschedule me on multiple stations because im capable) but no one will pay a living wage. I love my job, and i actually took a $2/hour pay cut to go back to that company, but i dont think people in management quite get how hard their inferiors have it in the other areas of their life (and when they take away the free food, a lot of them dont end up eating at all).
i honestly think that the reason that the whole "staff shortage" thing still hasn't been resolved is because employers legitimately aren't trying to remedy it.
like as this "shortage" drags on it seems less and less like a natural phenomenon and more like excuse for employers (especially large employers like grocery store chains) to see just how few people they can have in their stores and still make money. like this pandemic has given them the perfect opportunity to see just how shit they can make the customer experience while still turning a profit
and when you look at it that way, the countless stories of people being denied jobs that were supposedly in DESPERATE need of filling totally make sense! because even if your store has ten-person lines at every cashier, if it isn't hurting your bottom line, why would you care? businesses are finding out now just how much that they can get away with before losing business, and it's WAY more than they previously thought
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Hello I was wondering if you could do a tadashi (bh6) x nurse reader fic (or oneshot) and/or a V (V for vendetta) x nurse reader. Merci :)
Tadashi X Reader – Medical Student
A/N – Originally, I had a plot as to why the other students disliked the reader, but I decided not to put it in because this is like… 6 pages long.
Warnings – Minor Swearing.
Rating – T
Tadashi glanced at the first schematics for Baymax. He now had the designs for the skeleton and the data chip that would contain the medical protocols and procedures. Excited to start changing the world, Tadashi begun work on the database that would go on the chip. The work carried on into the night, but he was finally ready to upload it onto the drive.
An error message appeared on the holographic computer screen only six percent into the data transfer. Tadashi frowned tiredly, he’d been ready to finish for the night, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop until he found the source of the problem.
After numerous diagnostics and scans ran on the computer that consumed further hours, Tadashi still hadn’t found a solution.
“Burning the midnight oil, Mr Hamada?” Professor Callaghan entered the lab.
“As always,” Tadashi answered amiably.
Callaghan glanced at the computer screen where the error message stubbornly remained. “It seems that you’ve ran into some programming trouble. May I?”
“Sure,” Tadashi moves aside, letting Callaghan sit at the desk.
Callaghan examined the extensive database, tapping idly at some keys to highlight the problem on screen. “Well Mr Hamada, it’s apparent that the base program on the chip can’t contain the database you’re trying to download because of conflicting information. Take a look at this for example, one treatment for infections is antibacterial spray, another older method suggests leeches. The program doesn’t know which to prioritise. My suggestion is to come back tomorrow and visit the medical students after classes. Try to get their professor’s permission to work with one of the students; maybe they can organise your database.”
“Thanks professor.”
Callaghan nodded and the two walked out together.
Tadashi roamed the halls of the medical building. Although it was much smaller than the tech building he worked in, he’d still managed to get lost.
“Young man!” A squat Korean lady said sternly with her hands on her hips. “As head of the medical department I make it my business to know all the medical students, you are not one of them and have no business being here.”
Professor Callaghan had forewarned Tadashi of Doctor Kirkbride for she was apparently a tough lady to impress.
“Excuse me Doctor Kirkbride, I’m Tadashi Hamada, a technology student and-”
“And you’re making me late for class. Walk and talk, hurry now.”
Tadashi kept up with the brisk pace set by Doctor Kirkbride, explaining his plight all the while. By the time they reached the auditorium Kirkbride stopped Tadashi, “You want one of my students, fine, but if you get in the way of their education, we’ll be using you in class instead of Mr Cadaver. Got it?”
Tadashi nodded nervously.
“Good. You’ll have to find a volunteer yourself. Good luck getting a partner with exams coming up.”
She opened the door, exuding power and silencing the congregation of students talking outside of their designated work areas.
“Class,” she boomed, “This is Tadashi Hamada, one of the technology students. He needs help compiling a medical database for his project. Is anyone willing to volunteer?”
Everyone avoided his gaze.
“No? Then get to your work stations and follow the instructions there. Mr Hamada, you’ll have to present your case yourself.”
Doctor Kirkbride left him alone. He looked around the room uncertainly. Everyone was in a group of three at a work station that had an outdated whiteboard with instructions and dummy patients which seemed to have seen better days; evidently the medical building didn’t get as much funding as the rest of the university.
With his friendliest smile, Tadashi approached the first group with the identical twins Iroh and Kyo as well as a girl named Ivy.
“Hey,” he started confidently, “would you-”
“Busy,” the twins pushed past him, inserting a catheter and IV into the dummy.
He looked to Ivy, “Exams,” she deadpanned, ignoring him.
Tadashi refused to be disappointed, moving onto the next group, then the one after that and the one after that; nobody gave him the time of day. Finally, he got to the last table which had the only person not working in a group; you.
With low expectations he spoke, “Hi, I’m-”
You held up a hand, “Tadashi, yeah. You’re awfully persistent for somebody rejected by twenty-four people. Don’t you get it? Nobody wants to work with you.”
Tadashi slumped slightly, “Yeah, I know, exams.”
“Seriously? You believe that crap? That’s not why they won’t work with you.”
“Then why?”
“‘Cos, you tech types are all the same. You waltz in here, take a procedure that was perfectly fine in the first place and make a make a machine that does it. We’re all afraid that whatever you’re building will make us obsolete before we’ve even finished training.”
Tadashi frowned, his mouth slightly agape, “I never really thought of it that way… I don’t want to make anyone obsolete, I’m just trying to help people.”
You leaned against the operating table, interested in the flurry of emotions showing in Tadashi’s eyes. Before, he had the same hope you had every day on your way to becoming a doctor, now he was displaying a complex mix of sadness, confusion, and guilt.
“Your project,” you said, “how many will it help?”
“When it’s done? Millions.”
You rolled your eyes to the ceiling, muttering, “This better not affect my grades.” Then to Tadashi, “Fine, I’m (Y/N) and I guess I can sort your database.”
Tadashi shook with excitement, making you giggle with his impromptu dance. “Thank you, I promise you won’t regret this.”
“OY!” A red-haired student in the group next to yours called. “You workin’ with ‘im?”
“Yeah,” you answered nonchalantly.
“Fuckin’ sell-out.”
Tadashi deflated, watching you apologetically, “I-”
You shook your head at him, “If you dare apologise I’ll quit.”
“But if this makes you unpopular-”
“Ha! I’m working on my own in a group assignment, you don’t get more unpopular than that. See, you’re already taking credit for what I did all on my own. Give it a week and see if you still want to work with me. Now get out, I finish in an hour, meet me outside then and I’ll see what I’m working with.”
You threw your arms up angrily, reading over the database, “What the hell is this? The sources are totally uncredible, it’s disorganised, it’s… is that a Wikipedia page? Good lord, it is. And on top of all this you want me to write up treatments for everything? EVERYTHING? You’re insane, this is impossible.”
Tadashi got down on his knees, holding his hands together and begging you with huge puppy eyes, “Not even for me?”
You grabbed his cap from the desk, shoving it in his face and pushing him over with the force.
“Huh, a wild (Y/N) attacks when angered,” Tadashi reported, leaning up from the floor.
You struggled to suppress a smile, “Like a viper.”
“Pray tell crazy viper person, how can I get you to do this?”
“Inject caffeine into my blood stream until this is all over.”
“I think I can make that work.”
“Then we better get started, come on puppy dog, coffee, chop chop.”
Tadashi got up and saluted, “Yes Captain.”
You grinned as he left; perhaps working with him wouldn’t be as much of an irritant as you supposed.
Writing treatments to every ailment you could think of was excruciatingly slow work. Two months in and you’d barely made a dent. Yet the work wasn’t as unpleasant as you’d initially thought; your grades had improved considerably and working with Tadashi proved to be fun. He’d told you many of the misadventures of his little brother Hiro, and of his Aunt Cass who owned a café uptown somewhere.
While you enjoyed Tadashi’s company, he felt a lot more strongly towards you. He adored your grumpy humour and the way you were willing to work with him in the face of adversity from your classmates who had since ignored you completely. More than that, he loved that you genuinely wanted to help people even though you didn’t know what he was building. He’d told his family a little of you but kept details light and fleeting, unable to trust himself to speak without revealing too many of his own confused thoughts.
One night, after he’d stayed alone at the university to draw-up further plans for Baymax, he arrived back home to a surprise. You were sat in the café with a notepad and a medical journal. He’d never told you which café he lived at, but coincidence had brought you there. Never before had he cared about looking cool in front of you but before he knew when and where you were going to meet. Suddenly something was different, it may have been the concentrated frown you wore or that you practically glowed under the café’s dim lighting, but he definitely felt something towards you.
Ignoring the onslaught of nerves, he entered, dropping casually into the seat opposite yours in the cosy booth, “You know, café’s are supposed to be for relaxing.”
“’Dashi!” You dropped the book with a surprise then smiled. “What’re you doing here?”
“Oh, I know the owner.”
As if on cue, Cass dropped by to see her nephew, “Tadashi, you’re home,” she said warmly.
“Hi Aunt Cass,” he got up to hug her.
Cass spotted you, “And you have a friend.”
“I’m (Y/N),” You got up to shake her hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Tadashi has told me so much about you.”
Tadashi blushed behind you, smiling affectionately at the friendly manner in which you regarded Cass.
Cass hummed knowingly, “Really? He has? Well that’s great. (Y/N), how about you join us for dinner?”
Tadashi swallowed apprehensively, he desperately wanted you to say yes and meet his family officially.
“Are you sure I wouldn’t be intruding?”
“Intruding? Of course not. Tadashi, take (Y/N) upstairs while I close up, oh I am so excited.”
She bounced on the spot and you realised exactly where Tadashi got his own little happy dance from; it had a heart-warming effect, comforting you in an unexpected way.
Over dinner, Cass learnt everything she could about you, leaving no question unasked. Hiro meanwhile, took an interest in you when you asked about the bot he was holding; he used the opportunity to show off until Tadashi started making fun of him for it. Although the family was a small one, the love was overwhelming. Cass clearly adored her two nephews; they were like three pieces of a jigsaw, different shapes but they fit together well. Alas, time flew, and it was time for you to head home yourself.
“It’s been wonderful meeting you,” You beamed at Aunt Cass, sticking your hand out.
Cass ignored the hand, hugging you tightly, “Come back soon.” When she let you go she asked, “How far is the walk home?”
“About forty minutes from here.”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you?”
“It’s alright, Tadashi already volunteered for that, he’s taking me back on his moped.”
“Right, drive safe Tadashi, and call me when you get there.”
Tadashi wrapped his arm around you, forgetting himself for a moment but staying when you didn’t protest, “Don’t worry Aunt Cass, we’ll be fine.”
With Cass calling goodbyes, Tadashi led you to the garage and his moped. He threw you a helmet which you caught with ease.
“And with a catch like that, (L/N)’s ready for the rugby team, (s)he could go all the way,” Tadashi cheered.
“And with a throw like that, Tadashi is ready to go back to summer camp, so he can learn from people with actual talent.”
He held his heart, mimicking pain, “It’s a low blow that brings pain with it, and after I was being nice to you.”
“Well yeah but you have to be nice to me because I’m doing your work for you, lazy boy.”
“A second low blow with a staggering effect. I can’t simply like you?”
You grinned, dancing towards him with a singsong voice, “You like me, you love me, you want to hug me.”
Tadashi tried to laugh but with each line you came a little bit closer, mocking him further, “You want to kiss me, you want to marry me…”
You trailed off, suddenly aware of the lack of laughter. At some point, the atmosphere had become heavy with unspoken thoughts on Tadashi’s behalf.
You frowned uncertainly, “Tadashi? What’s wrong?”
“I uh… You’re really great with my family,” he murmured. “Actually, you’re really great altogether.”
“I don’t… I don’t understand.”
Tadashi leaned forward, brushing his lips lightly against your cheek. Your heart raced; everything had been so normal only minutes ago but now things were different, evolved somehow.
He pulled away, not daring to ask if you felt the same way about him, “That’s enough for tonight, come on, I’ll take you home.”
He got on the moped. Although you had a million questions for him, time seemed to stop when you sat behind him and held onto him tightly. He was right, for now it was enough.
#tadashi#tadashi hamada#tadashi x reader#tadashi hamada x reader#big hero 6#big hero six#bh6#disney#fanfiction#fanfic#reader#reader insert
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hello!! i love this blog very much that i always have it on notifs! keep up the awesome work! may i ask for a scenario with p3, p4, and p5 protags experiencing a "too close for comfort" moment with their crush/would be s/o?
-Akihiko Voice- IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS…!!! And thank you so much for having this blog on your notifs! It means so much to me! I will do my best for this blog so please continue to support me!))
Lol the more i wrote the more inspired i got I’m sorry they only got longer and longer pfft))
Minato Arisato:
>Your Knowledge increased
With finals coming up and your overwhelming desire to be in at least the top 10, you begged Minato to help you study. He had softened up a bit thanks to his friends and he had no problem accepting your desperate calls for help. You look between the address he had written down and the tall building in front of you. So he lived here, huh?
You go in and are met by quite a few pairs of eyes. You gulp nervously and ask for Minato who immediately comes out thanks to Junpei’s yelling.
“WHAT?! LUCKY BASTARD! I WANNA STUDY WITH HER TOO!” Junpei loudly complains as he looks between you and his blue haired bestie.
“…You don’t even study, Junpei…” Minato responds, walking up to you and taking you by the hand. “Cmon, I’m in dining room.”
The two of you sit down and begin studying quietly. Some time passes and you were having trouble with a complicated math problem. Your hand gripped at your hair, your foot bounced rapidly, and your pencil tapped away at the page with the same impatience.
“What’s wrong?” He asks suddenly, taking you out of your frustrated trance.
“Oh! Uh…This stupid problem has me stumped.”
“Lemme see…” Instead of bringing your notebook closer to him, he leans in closer to you.
He smells nice, was your first thought. Once you realized what just went through your head, you could feel the heat rise on your cheeks and your chest felt tighter than usual. Minato didn’t seem to notice your embarrassment as he narrowed his eyes down at your problem. He adjusts himself, only resulting in getting closer. This time you’re able to vocalize some kind of sound to catch his attention. “M-Minato…?”
“Hm…?” The hard blue stare of his softens when he looks up, his face closer than expected.
“C-c-close…!” You manage to squeak. God, his eyes are so intoxicating…
It takes a few moments until the color on his cheeks deepen as he registers the situation. “Oh, uh, sorry…” He straightens up and looks away bashfully, scratching at his cheek a bit.
There is a slight tension in the air before he clears his throat and gives you a small smile. “I know what you did wrong… I can show you…” He gestures to your notebook.
You respond with a smile and scoot a little closer to him, moving your notebook where it was in the middle. The rest of the time was peaceful but it seemed the two of you never stopped blushing over that one moment when it came back into your mind.
Yu Narukami:
>Your Charm increased
After everything that happened at the Love Meets Bond Festival, you became interested in the art of dance. You hadn’t realized how easy it was to pick it up and how fun it was to express yourself in such an artistic way. One dance that had interested you was Tango. One problem though: It takes two to tango.
So you called up Narukami in a desperate attempt to get someone you were familiar with to be your partner. And thankfully he agreed to take the classes with you. One more problem: Tango involves close contact and passionate gazes between the two parties.
“I hadn’t realized how close we’d have to be…” Narukami confesses, chuckling a little.
Your heart sank a bit. Did you force him into this? Did you make him uncomfortable?
Narukami chuckles again, being able to read your worried expression. “Don’t worry about it, [Name], I’m having fun! Justbeingclosetoyoumakesithardtocontrolmyself.”
“What was that last part?” You tilted your head in confusion.
“Nothing! Don’t worry about it.” He smiles so sweetly that you went ahead and forgot about it.
The weeks fly by and it becomes a blur to you until the final day where you have to perform the dance, not only in front of your class but also in front of a live audience of guests, you had been practicing since day one. You were nervous to say the least. A lot of the time you blanked out during the dance but you knew today wouldn’t be the case. Narukami asked if the two of you could go last so he could watch the other performances. At the time you had no problem with it but now your heart and soul were trying their best to escape your body.
You felt a strong and warm hand grip yours. Reassurance flooded your body and once again you felt calm. As the dance for the team before you was coming to a close, you take a peek at the audience. Full house. And the Investigation Team was there to show their support, even Teddie took it seriously by showing up in his human form.
The next thing you know, you and Narukami are getting into place. The audience claps and cheers once your names are introduced and then it’s quiet. The music plays.
Why you hadn’t noticed Narukami’s strength at this point was a shocker to you. The way you two moved together was breathtaking. Just as breathtaking as being to intimately close to Narukami’s face was. Your face becomes flushed but you somehow manage to keep your composure. His strong hands holding you firmly but gently, the passionate look in his eyes, the strength and skill that is portrayed to the audience at the climax of the dance where you do a complicated move in which you are lifted up and trust your body to move along his until he catches you.
Your performance ends and you feel breathless, more so than when you first started practicing. The audience goes wild and the team is the loudest out of everyone. Narukami takes you backstage and sits you down in a chair.
“You alright? I could tell you were ready to faint.” His face seemed just as flushed as yours.
You nod quietly, refusing to look at him.
He laughs softly and leans in close, “Don’t worry about it…. I know exactly/ how you feel…”
[Mini Bonus, the video that inspired this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3vsiiRK5GU ]
Akira Kurusu:
>Your Guts increased
You weren’t really the courageous type but there were times you were able to pull through for the greater good. Saving a stray dog from being beaten by a bunch of idiot bullies was no different. You recognized their faces from your school, Shujin High. Before they could touch the dog, your voiced boomed an authoritative “Quit it!”
“What are you gonna do about it, bitch?” One of the guys scoffed.
You lifted your phone, “I know how to contact the police and inform them of idiot bullies like you for terrible behavior. I’m also willing to throw in a white lie of harassment, if I have to.”
“Tch. Let’s bale man. She’s killin my fun.”
“We’ll remember this, [Name]! Don’t think I don’t know who you are and what class you go to!” You forgot one of them was in your class. Shit…!
They run off and the dog scratches at your shoe until you look down at it. Its eyes thank you silently before it runs off. Now the anxiety begins to seep in. What’s going to happen to you? What are you gonna do? What are they/ gonna do??
While you were lost in thought thinking of the worst possibilities, you almost missed a gentle voice. “Uh, excuse me?”
“Ah! Please don’t kill me…!!” You jolt and look at who was speaking to you. You relax when you see it was your desk neighbor, Akira Kurusu. “Oh…! Akira! You scared me…”
“Are they bothering you?” He sounded concerned.
“No…but they might try something tomorrow… You don’t have to worry about me. My life will be over by tomorrow anyway…” You groan, conflicting emotions causing a massive headache. “Sorry, but I’m going home…” You push past him and make your way home.
You could have sworn you felt someone’s eyes on you…
The next day you were on edge and barely made it to class on time. You struggled to focus in class and you didn’t dare leave the classroom for lunch like you normally would. You wished so desperately to turn back time. Each second was shaving off five years of your life. Finally it was time to go home. You noticed Akira hurriedly gathered his things and left the room and decided to follow his example.
The boy in your class reacted a little slower to make it seem like he wasn’t still interested in making your life a living hell, which was his first mistake. You make it out of the classroom and try to make a run for it for the school entrance until a hand snapped closed around your wrist. You gasp and turn to see it was Akira, quietly shushing you with his finger. “Come with me…”
He pulls you along and runs down the halls, a lot of eyes staring and wondering just what had gotten into him. Was the delinquent going to hurt you? Eh, it wasn’t any of their business…. Akira eventually makes it to the janitor’s closet and opens the door before rushing you inside. He quickly follows and starts to slow down his breathing as he shuts the door.
You were really out of breath. This guy was more athletic than he looked. “Wh-what are you doing…?”
Without answering you, Akira gives you a serious look and closes the distance between you. Naturally you stepped back, scared and vulnerable. Oh, you thought, I get it. He’s the one that’s going to dish out my punishment for messing with those guys… Your back hits the wall and you flinch, closing your eyes. When you feel no pain, you peek up. Akira has his arms on both sides of your head, trapping you. But you notice his focus was elsewhere.
“Akira…?” Your voice was breathy.
“Quiet…” He shushes you gently, pressing a little closer.
You gasp and wait it out. Then you hear familiar voices. It was those boys from before, calling out to each other and swearing a storm. They stopped in front of the closet and you held your breath. Akira noticed your discomfort and pulled you into a protective hug.
He smelled like all kinds of delicious blends of coffee. Your ear was pressed against his chest. Why was his heart pounding? He looks so calm and collected, so serious. So why…? Once they leave, he lets you go. He chuckles seeing your disappointed face.
“Heh… you’re pretty cute when you pout…” He smirks down at you.
“Wh-what?” Your face flushes with many shades of red.
“Ah, nothing… Who were they?”
You explained the situation to him from yesterday. When you finish by thanking him, he pats your head and gives you a gentle smile.
“You’ve got a good heart… One more thing: Do you know their names…?”
#Admin Ammy#scenarios#imagines#Minato Arisato#Arisato Minato#Yu Narukami#Narukami Yu#Akira Kurusu#Kurusu Akira#Persona 3#p3#Persona 4#p4#Persona 5#p5#long post#the protags
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Falling on Deaf Ears
Inspired by this post by @reioka (because jesus it resonated hard), but it’s a bit different. Hope you like it!
Summary: It wasn’t like Tony wasn’t used to it. He had years and years of experience in being ignored. Hell, he’d grown up with Howard and Maria Stark as his parents. He couldn’t even begin to count the number of times his six-year-old self had been dismissed from Howard’s presence, even when he’d been bouncing up and down with obvious excitement. And Maria-- well, Maria was always so busy. She’d give an absent ‘mm-hm’ every once in a while, but even those were rare compared to the complete apathy he usually got.
So this. He was used to this. And hey, at least he wasn’t getting hit this time around.
(Or five times Tony's ignored by his teammates, and one time someone finally listens.)
Link for AO3
I.
It wasn’t like Tony wasn’t used to it. He had years and years of experience in being ignored. Hell, he’d grown up with Howard and Maria Stark as his parents. He couldn’t even begin to count the number of times his six-year-old self had been dismissed from Howard’s presence, even when he’d been bouncing up and down with obvious excitement. And Maria-- well, Maria was always so busy. She’d give an absent ‘mm-hm’ every once in a while, but even those were rare compared to the complete apathy he usually got.
So this. He was used to this. And hey, at least he wasn’t getting hit this time around.
“--but it can’t be Kevlar because while it’s strong, it’s not light enough, and isn’t nearly as flexible as human skin, so then I was curious and I started researching, and then I thought it could be nano cellulose, because it’s completely organic and way more flexible, but actually, it’s so organic it would react with the water in his body and it would get all bloated, and considering John Smith did not, in fact, blow up into a balloon, it couldn’t have been that. So then, I kept researching, and--”
Tony faltered as Clint glanced away, distractedly looking at the TV. Tony tried to smile, before halfheartedly continuing, “--And-- and it actually could be graphene, because it’s only made up of locked carbon crystals and is almost totally nonreactive, and it’s so light you could--”
And now Clint isn’t even looking at him at all, not even trying to make it seem like he’s paying attention.
“You-- you could actually have a layer as big as a football field, and it would still way less than...”
He isn’t listening.
“... a gram,” Tony mumbled, his hands shaking around his mug of coffee. He shut his eyes and set it down, shaking his head.
It didn’t matter. Really, it didn’t.
Tony refused to let out a breath as he silently stood up and disappeared from the room.
II.
God knew Tony liked to ramble, and despite him trying to stop himself, he constantly caught himself going on for a half hour without even stopping.
“And then this guy-- I don’t even know who the fuck he was-- just came up to me and told me-- he didn’t ask, he told me-- to sign his middle finger. I don’t know why, like was he gonna get it tattooed or something? That’s still not as weird, though, as the time when a guy…”
He didn’t even know when he’d started, but when he looked up, no one was even in the room. He looked towards the couch Steve had basically taken over the last few months. (He liked to draw in here. And watch Tony work. Not listen, though, apparently.) There was an abandoned, half-finished sketch on the coffee table.. Tony had no idea when he’d left.
Tony closed his mouth, setting down the Allen wrench he’d been fiddling with. He remembered, back in college, hanging out with Ty.
“Jesus Christ, Tony, do you ever shut up?”
Tony clenched his jaw before picking up the wrench and going back to work.
III.
The power had gone out all across the city, including the coffee shop he and Nat liked to disappear to sometimes in the middle of the night for coffees that were more sugar than coffee. When Tony pulled out his phone to find the cause of the power outage, his findings made it easy for him to pass the time with some chatting. Or rather, ranting.
“God, this is ridiculous. God fucking dammit, Justin Hammer can suck my-- you know what, no, he can’t, because I deserve better than that. Justin Hammer can suck a duck’s dick-- except no, even a rabid corkscrew-dicked duck deserves better than that. Wait, can ducks even get rabies? Justin Hammer can get rabies. Fuck, Hammer probably does have rabies, that’d explain his complete idiocy, not to mention how much he spits when he talks, Jesus Christ, and just how the hell does he manage to make a virus that causes power to go out all across Manhattan? How did that man ever finish the seventh gra--”
“Shit.”
Tony looked up from the floor, only to see Natasha’s face illuminated by her phone. She was-- she was playing a game, something that revolved around colors. Something that was completely absorbing her attention.
Attention that was not, as he thought, on him..
“Uh, Nat?” he said, his coffee suddenly feeling cold.
“Hm?” she hummed, tapping her thumb against the screen furiously. She didn’t bother to look up.
“Uh. Were you listening?” he asked, his voice sounding stupidly hopeful.
“Justin Hammer, idiot, something about duck dicks, I got it,” she said, before huffing as she lost again. “Dammit.”
Tony nodded, his voice sounding small and subdued. “Right.”
IV.
“And-- oh! Oh, you probably haven’t gone to Coney Island yet, have you? It’s fun, as long as, y’know, you don’t do the hot dog eating contest right before you ride the Cyclone. But the Wonder Wheel’s always fun. I mean, I was terrified of it when I was little, but that’s because I was scared of heights. It wasn’t like it was unfounded, though, I mean, I did fall off the roof of the mansion once. Not like. All the way to the ground. Just to one of the lower dormers. I don’t remember what I was doing. I think I was looking at the stars. Or maybe I was trying to launch a rocket. Actually, I think I might have been trying to set off a weather balloon.
“Whatever, point is, my fear wasn’t unjustified. I’m not afraid anymore, though. Of heights, that is. I’m afraid of loads of other stuff, like clowns? Dolls? All that nonsense? Yeah, no. Never. I will never allow those in my presence. At least I’m not scared of chickens. Rhodey is. They freak him out. I don’t know. Personally, I think it stems from a project involving an egg he had to do in his high school home ec class, but I’m no professional.
“What was I saying? Oh, yeah, you’d love Coney Island. You could totally invite Jane up for a weekend, it’s a prime date loca… tion.”
Thor wasn’t even standing next to him anymore. He was at a churro stand twenty feet back, smiling cheerfully at the vendor as he bought a few.
Tony closed his mouth before silently walking back to join the thunder god.
When Thor completed his purchase, he took a bite of his fried pastry. He turned to Tony, smiling widely. “Anthony! These cinnamon treats are delightful!”
Tony forced a grin. “Uh-huh.”
V.
Sometimes he wasn’t even chattering nonsense. Sometimes, it was important.
“Plus, something about just getting it off my chest, and putting it out there in the atmosphere, instead of holding this in… I mean, this is what gets people sick, you know. Wow, I had no idea you were such a good listener. To be able to share all my intimate thoughts and my experiences with someone, it just cut the weight of it in half. You know, it’s like a snake swallowing its own tail. Everything comes full circle...”
There was a thud, and Tony faltered. “And-- and the fact that you’ve been able to help me process…” He looked over, and Bruce was rubbing his eyes. He-- he just-- oh. He’d been sleeping.
“You with me?” Tony said, after a moment of hesitation, hoping he’d been wrong.
“Sorry, I was, yeah. We were at, um…”
Tony resisted a sigh. “Are you actively napping?” he said, not bothering to hide his offense.
Bruce stammered. “I was… I… I drifted.”
Tony bit his lip so he wouldn’t do something stupid like scream. “Where did I lose you?”
Bruce hesitated for a second, at least having the decency to look guilty, before he said, “Elevator in Switzerland.”
Oh. Oh. Okay. “So you heard none of it.”
Bruce shook his head. “I’m sorry.” He reached towards Tony, but the genius shifted away ever so slightly. “I’m not that kind of doctor. I’m not a therapist; it’s not my training--”
Tony’s frustration bubbled over. “So?” That’s not why he called Bruce, he was just-- his doctor told him he needed to talk to people, and he thought maybe his friend would listen, but no-- no, of course not.
“I don’t have the…”
“What, the time?” Tony finished, staring at his friend, trying not to show the way his brain was shutting down.
“Temperament.”
Tony nodded, before beginning to ramble about something meaningless so he wouldn’t say something he’d regret.
Because this had been important. It had been.
It had, hadn’t it?
1.
“--and God, he’s hopeless. He tries his best and all, but Jesus, he’s a disaster. Half the coffee I’ve ingested over the last twenty years has contained some kind of grease or oil. He has his own cone of shame that has his name on it. Honestly, he’s ridiculous. One time, though, I found him with a flower crown on his head, and I honestly have no idea how he got it. Where could Dum-E have gotten a flower crown? I think he and JARVIS were messing with me. God, those two could team up and do some ridiculous--”
Jesus Christ, Tony, do you ever shut up?
Tony cut himself off, barely glancing towards his companions before dropping his gaze to his hands, his hands fiddling with a thread on his jeans.
They didn’t care, stop fucking rambling for once in your damn life, just--
“Stark?”
Tony startled, looking up at Gamora, who was leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, looking at him with raised eyebrows. Expectantly.
Wait. Everyone was looking at him expectantly. Drax had turned away from looking out the window to look at him, Groot was swinging from the ceiling patiently, Rocket was looking up from the gutted gun in front of him, and Peter was sitting across from him with a grin on his face. His beloved Walkman (which used to make Tony cringe, but had since gained his own adoration as soon as he learned of the sentiment attached to it) was even paused.
“Huh?” he said, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
“You were saying?” she said, tilting her head forward.
Tony blinked. “What?”
“You were telling us of your children,” Drax said. “JARVIS and the dumb one liked to team up and prank you.”
“Well--” Tony stumbled, his eyes flickering between each of them before looking at his hands again. ‘--yeah, but you guys don’t want to hear about all that.”
“What the hell makes you think that?” Rocket snapped, making Tony startle and look up. “We were all listening!”
“I am Groot!” Groot added, kicking his little legs and nodding enthusiastically.
Tony blinked, before he glanced around at them. “I-- no, it’s fine. Seriously. I get carried away sometimes. I didn’t realize I’d been talking so much, it’s fine. You guys can just-- you can just get back to what you were doing.”
Across from him, Peter frowned. Tony caught the look he gave around the room, but he didn’t get what it meant until everyone was quietly making their way out, going to different parts of the ship. Rocket grumbled and Groot sighed in defeat, but besides that, there were no protests.
Once they were alone, Peter walked around the table separating them and sat next to Tony, taking the genius’s hands in his.
“What was that, Tony?” he asked, and Tony winced when he heard the quiet hint of sadness in his voice.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to prattle on and on. Just tell me to shut up whenever, okay?” he muttered, rubbing his forehead.
Peter huffed out an exasperated yet soft, “Aw, stardust,” before he gently pulled Tony from his own seat and into his lap. “You know I will never tell you to shut up, because I love hearing you talk. Your brain is awesome and your mouth is awesome, and I love everything that comes out of both.”
Tony huffed, ducking his head and hiding his face in Peter’s neck. “Peter…” he said, a hint of exasperation in his voice.
“I’m serious,” Peter argued, pressing a kiss to Tony’s head. “You could literally talk about nothing at all for days on end, and I would never get tired.”
“That’s stupid,” Tony mumbled, his lips tickling Peter’s skin.
“Maybe, but it’s nowhere near as stupid as you thinking I don’t like it when you talk.” He ducked his chin so he could gently push Tony’s head up, and he gave him a raised eyebrow. “Would you like to tell me where exactly this worry came from?”
Tony sighed, rolling his eyes. “Pete…” he whined.
“Because if it was the Avengers--” He chuckled bitterly. “I’ve got another thing to add onto my list of stuff to shoot them about.”
“You mean talk to them about,” Tony corrected, raising his eyebrows.
Peter rolled his eyes. “Yeah, okay,” he said sarcastically. “If talk is a euphemism for shoot.”
“Peter.”
“Nuh-uh. If those assholes seriously made you think that people don’t care about what you’re saying, then they deserve to be shot. Everyone else agrees.”
“That’s because everyone else is gun-happy.”
“When it comes to the Avengers? Hell, yeah, we are.”
Tony rolled his eyes before dropping his head down again, allowing Peter to pepper his hair with kisses.
“Seriously, though,” Peter said. “I love it when you talk. I swear I do. Especially when you’re excited. You’re freakin’ gorgeous like that.”
“Peter,” Tony whined, even as Peter lifted his chin so he could kiss his neck.
“You are,” Peter sang, kissing up his neck and along his jaw. “You’re gorgeous, and smart, and funny, and gorgeous--”
“You said that already.”
“Stardust, you’re so gorgeous, it counts three times,” Peter mumbled into his cheek, before finally pulling away and smiling at him. “Maybe four. Maybe five.”
Tony rolled his eyes, smacking Peter’s shoulder. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Not as ridiculous as your eyes. Seriously, I could drown in those.” Ignoring Tony’s groan, he continued, “Really! There’s so pretty. I could literally stare at them all day. Like, your eyes, your lips, and your voice. That’s all I need for the rest of my life. I don’t ever need anything else. Not even food.”
Tony rolled his eyes, resting his head on Peter’s shoulder. “You’re so dumb,” he muttered fondly.
“I dunno, I must’ve done something right if I got you,” Peter said.
Tony lifted his head, giving Peter an unimpressed look.
Peter grinned, tightening his hold around Tony’s waist. “So, do you wanna keep telling me about your AIs’ and bots’ shenanigans?”
“I could,” Tony said, smiling dopily as he tipped his head forward to rest his forehead against Peter’s. “But I’d kind of rather be kissing you.”
Peter grinned. “See, I told you your mouth is awesome.”
#starkquill#tony stark#guardians of the galaxy#seriously though i have never related to tony more in my LIFE#:(((#but he has the guardians so its okay!#this was my first time writing starkquill and i loved it!!#ah#tony#peter quill#gamora#drax#rocket#groot#steve#clint#natasha#bruce#thor#i think thats everyone#lindsey writes
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half awake and almost there - 4
4- Coffee house AU of doom continues. Harry Potter AU. Hinny. Fluff and stupidity.
Parts: i. ii. iii.
or read it at AO3.
iv.
“Harry, thank god,” was how Ginny greeted him the next time he worked up the nerve to visit the shop again. Or to be more honest, worked up the nerve to deal with Sirius’s increasingly smug looks.
“Machine broken again?” he asked.
“What?” asked the frazzled-looking Ginny. “Oh, no. A completely different kind of disaster.” She pointed towards one of the back tables.
A scowling redheaded man about the same age as Harry sat there, half draped over a newspaper.
“Is he bothering you?” Harry asked. He was sure she could deal with almost anything on her own, especially now that he knew about her past career, but was still more than happy to help.
After all, he was a regular, right? That seemed to be the sort of thing a regular might do.
“Since the moment I was born,” she sighed.
He frowned. “What?”
“He’s my brother, and he’s driving me batty!” she said, nearly shouting at the end.
Her brother looked up from his newspaper. “It’s not my fault your life is so bloody boring! All you do is work and go to class. I didn’t fly all this way to sit and watch you do a shite job at being a barista.”
“No,” Ginny said, red in the face now, hands on her hips. “You came all this bloody way to spy on me for Mum!”
“Well, I can tell her that your life here sucks, that’s for certain,” he shot back.
Ginny’s hands fisted as she took a step towards him, and Harry was a little scared she might resort to physical violence. “I don’t think punching brothers, no matter how annoying, is a good way to keep a job either.”
“Oh, and how many jobs have you had to keep, Harry?” she snapped.
He flinched.
“Oh, god,” she said, dragging a hand over her face. “I’m sorry. I’m such an arsehole. Ron has just been getting on my last nerve.”
Harry shook his head.
She touched his arm. “Really, Harry. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine,” he said.
She held his gaze for a long time as if trying to make sure he meant it. As if she actually cared.
He looked back over at the brother to find him watching them with narrowed eyes.
“What did you need?” Harry asked.
Her hand dropped from his arm. “Well now I can’t very well ask you for anything.”
“Ginny,” he said, rolling his eyes.
“I just want to…send him somewhere. Somewhere that is not here. I don’t know the city all that well yet… Maybe you have some suggestions?”
“Uh, sure,” Harry said. He wasn’t exactly a local himself, but he’d been here enough years to make a stab at it.
“Bugger,” she said as a small crowd pushed into the shop. “I’ll be right back.”
Harry cautiously crossed over to Ginny’s brother. “Ron, is it?” he asks. “I’m Harry.”
Ron pushed to his feet, proving to have a few good inches on Harry. They shook hands.
“Bored, huh?” Harry asked, extricating his hand from the slightly over tight pressure of Ron’s grip.
“Out of my bloody mind,” Ron moaned, leaning his head back in exaggerated distress.
Something told Harry that Ron probably wasn’t much of an art museum, seeing-the-sights kind of person. Tapping his fingers on the back of a chair, he tried to come up with something. Well, he supposed there was always the great American pastime.
Pulling up information on his phone, Harry asked, “How do you feel about baseball?”
Ron shrugged. “More of a football bloke, myself, but if it gets me the hell out of here…” He slid Ginny a wary glance, and Harry could see that he was actually a little afraid of her.
“We’re in luck,” Harry said, thankful it was Saturday. “There’s a game today.”
“When?” Ron asked, looking hopeful.
“Now,” Harry said. “And there are still tickets.”
“Good enough for me,” Ron said, getting to his feet. “How do I get there?”
“I’ll take you,” Harry found himself offering. “Haven’t been to a game in ages.”
Ginny chose that moment to reappear. “You’re going?” she asked Ron, looking very happy at the prospect.
“Apparently we’re going to a baseball game,” Ron said, pulling on his coat.
“What?” Ginny said. She turned to look at Harry, eyes wide. “I didn’t mean you had to take him somewhere yourself! You must have more important things to do.”
He shrugged. “It’s not a big deal.”
She looked back at him as if she were completely mystified. “How are you real?” she asked.
He wasn’t at all sure how to take that.
As they moved to leave, she grabbed Ron’s arm, giving him a look that seemed very capable of killing. “Be nice to Harry. He’s the only friend I’ve made in this bloody country, so if you run him off, I’ll be pissed.”
Harry lifted an eyebrow at his elevation from regular to friend, but in no way wanted to argue against it.
She glanced at him, looking a little embarrassed, but no less resolute. “Permission to abandon him to his fate if he bothers you too much.”
“Ugh,” Ron said. “Have I mentioned today that you are by far my least favorite sister?”
“I’m your only sister, you prat,” she said.
They surprised Harry by giving each other a hug, and he wondered if insults were just a way of life between them.
“Now get out of here,” Ginny said, shoving Ron towards the door as if the hug had never happened.
She touched Harry’s arm again as he passed, and he was growing to like that far too much for comfort. “Really, Harry. Thank you.”
He smiled at her. “No problem.”
* * *
Luckily the Nationals were playing a home game today. They only missed the first three innings, which meant there was plenty of play left to keep Ron distracted.
It made Sirius twitchy when he got normal seats instead of one of the boxes, but there was far less chance of anyone noticing him in the stands. Besides, he didn’t want Ginny’s brother to think he was a… What was the word Ginny was so fond of using? A ponce.
Ron sat down and looked around. “So what exactly does one do at a baseball game?”
“Besides watching? Mostly eating and drinking.”
This seemed to pique Ron’s interest. “Brilliant. Well within my skill set.”
Harry waved over the closest vendor.
Ron raised an eyebrow at the prices, but gamely ordered a wide variety of the foods being offered.
“This is disgusting,” he announced happily around a mouthful of chili cheese dog.
They sat in silence, which seemed fine for a while, but seemed to drag on. Not that Ron seemed disturbed by it, but Harry’s knee starting bouncing up and down.
“So, are you in school?” he asked out of desperation after another five minutes of silence, only to wince. God, when had he become one of those people he hated?
Ron just shrugged. “Nah. Finished a while back. Not that I ever did anything with it, mind you. But one of my brothers has a business. I’ve been helping him out a lot lately.”
More brothers? “How many of you are there?”
“All together? Seven.” Ron seemed to fumble for a moment.
“Seven?” Harry echoed. As an only child that sounded…like a huge amount.
“Uh, yeah,” he said, something about the question clearly making him uncomfortable. “Plus Mum and Dad. Hasn’t Ginny told you all of this?”
“Oh,” Harry said, shifting in his seat. “No. We’re not… We barely know each other. I just…came in for coffee one day.”
“Ah,” Ron said, as if this somehow finally all made sense. “She adopted you.”
“What?”
He shrugged. “She does that. Not like, tuck you in bed and feed you up adopted.” He snorted as if the image itself was ridiculous. “The thing about Ginny is that she generally has no patience for people. But if for some reason she’s decides you’re worth it, she just kind of latches on. It can be bloody impossible to get rid of her. Of course, it also means she’ll burn the world down for you if she has to, so it has its benefits.”
Harry blinked. “I don’t think…”
Ron held out his bag of kettle corn. “You won’t have met her roommate Luna.”
Harry shook his head, taking a handful.
“When you do, you’ll get it.”
Harry wasn’t sure what to do with this assumption that he would somehow be part of Ginny’s life enough to meet her roommate. Then again, he was here watching a game with her brother, so this was already all surreal enough.
Around them the crowd rumbled with disapproval.
Ron glanced about. “What happened?”
Harry nodded down towards the field. “Runner called out on second.”
Ron squinted up at the jumbo screen, watching the replay
“What?” he roared. “Are you blind or something?”
Harry looked at him with wide eyes.
Ron winced. “Sorry. Is that not the way baseball works?”
“No,” Harry said. “That’s pretty much exactly right.”
Ron grinned. “Oh, good.”
The next at bat, Ron chucked a handful of popcorn over the ledge. “Come on, you bloody tossers!” he bellowed.
Harry laughed, shouting along with him on the next play, and helping himself to a chili cheese dog.
It was probably the must fun he’d had in years.
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5 Tips to Improve Your Life Right Now
#Poop4U
We’re all so busy these days, and it is easy to get caught up in the rush and stress and before you know it, you’re hating your life.
How do I know this? Been there, done it, got the t-shirt.
But I’ve also learned that are a lot of little things we can do on even the most crazy busy, stressful day to give ourselves a little break and help us reclaim our joy. That’s why today I’m sharing my 5 tips to improve your life, and I promise you’ll find some peace when you give these a try.
5 Tips to Improve Your Life Right Now
1. Declutter your space.
Clutter and disorganization can cause a lot of stress, so it just makes sense that a few minutes spent decluttering will bring a little peace into your life.
I tidy up my desk at the end of every work day so that I have a fresh, clean space to start the next day.
I spend Sunday afternoons organizing my closet and putting away laundry (and boxing up things I no longer want, to give to charity) so that figuring out what to wear each day isn’t a stressful, time-consuming endeavor.
Before bedtime, I do a quick run through my home to pick up clutter, shoes, dirty dishes, and anything else that’s out of place so that when I awake the next morning, my home is tidy and organized.
You can declutter your space in just a few minutes each day, and it really will make a difference in your stress level. Try it.
Check out my busy dog mom’s guide to minimalism to learn more about how decluttering can simplify and improve your life.
2. Avoid multi-tasking.
Used to be, the best advice for getting a lot of things done was to multi-task. Nowadays, our bodies and brains are so overwhelmed that we can barely focus on one thing, let alone multiple things, so multi-tasking is a no.
When you focus solely on the task at hand, you’ll be more productive and you will produce quality results. You’ll also feel less stress. This is automatically an improvement to your life and contentment.
3. Prioritize yourself.
When you make time for the things you love, your stress will melt away and you’ll live in the moment.
Whatever it is that you enjoy – whether that’s a nice, long walk with your dog, taking in a matinee on a Saturday afternoon, or spending all of Sunday baking cookies in your kitchen – do it as often as you can. You will feel happier and more relaxed, and life will start to become a pleasure once again.
4. Be kind.
Basic manners and courtesies have fallen by the wayside here in the twenty-first century, and it’s up to us to change that. Show kindness to everyone you meet, even if they don’t deserve it.
Say “please” and “thank you”, hold the door for a stranger, and share your smile freely. When you are kind to others, they are more likely to return your kindness, and boom! All of a sudden the world is a little nicer place.
5. Stop complaining.
We all like to complain; we call it “venting”, but no matter what you call it, complaining brings a negative vibe to every situation.
Rather than complain about a situation or a person, why not look for ways to change it. If it’s a negative person, distance yourself from them. If it’s a problem, look for ways to fix it. If you can’t find one, then the situation is beyond your control and complaining isn’t going to change anything.
When things aren’t going right, look for the solution rather than griping about the problem. Taking proactive measures to change a situation will relieve stress and give you a sense of purpose.
How do you manage stress?
In this busy world we live in, how do you reclaim joy for yourself? I’d love for you to tell me all about it in a comment below, or stop by my private Facebook group for dog moms and join in the conversation there!
The post 5 Tips to Improve Your Life Right Now appeared first on The Everyday Dog Mom.
Poop4U Blog via www.Poop4U.com Christina, Khareem Sudlow
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