#ive been reading them on and off the past couple(?) years

[robot-singularity]

If I had a nickel for every piece of media from the '00s with a British policeman named Sam suddenly time travelling 30ish years into the past, I would have two nickels. Which is weirdly specific, but I'll take it.

[missfertileandferal]

lowkey super anxious to post this but im missing you guys so much <3

i plan on a solid return soon! i just wanted to get off my chest whats been going on:

Earlier this year, I dealt with an awful situation of my kinky stuff leaking into real life. My insane coworkers found my content and as I was serving on the clock, proceeded to show my customers and all the staff. then i was fired. Im traumatized to say the least but I over came it.

Come mid summer, I planned so step back for a little bit to move apartments no more than a couple weeks. What happened was both my job (i worked with close family friends so stressful) and a really bad situation with a companion found about my kink stuff. i never expected or was prepared for the humiliation, deception, and pain that would come from my fetish journey

My last job was such a loss. I had been blessed with a cute job as a medical office assistant without any credentials (i wasnt doing anything out of my capabilities of course) it was so peaceful and perfect compared to the drama of my last gig plus working with familiar people felt just like home honestly. Then I got covid. I was out for 2 weeks, at the same time i was moving into my new place. I tried calling them back to let them know I was cleared and ready to get back to work. I received a humiliating text. I was dismissed. That turned into a crippling anxiety of them confessing to my family what I do in my past time

The following week I was met with more disappointment. Ive said this before but I dont have many people in my corner. It used to suck to admit but I stand with pride now knowing those who are around me love me 100% regardless what I do or dont do.

One of my dearest dearest friends, who I had previously communicated what I do (not to a full extent they always respected it) called me very dramatically only a week before I planned to see them (they live across the country and we ALWAYS visit each other when in our cities) It still doesnt feel real tbh, the call only last 40 seconds. I was informed that “I was going on the wrong path” and could no longer be associated with. That’s alls that happened. 8 years down the drain

I was informed by outside sources that my hometown opps had gotten hold of my content (who my ex friend still associate with but I despise bc they’ve always been obsessed with me but in a bad way) and they had confronted him about being my friend. he pussied out and cut me off. they also mass reported my last instagram account😡🤬

I had to take some time back to seriously debate if these loses were worth it. I was swallowed with so much anxiety knowing that an uncomfortable amount of people in my zip code knew what ive been up to. its already complicated being into this and while at the same time not being in a plus size body. thats another conversation tho

That debate has turned into me accepting these events as the universe weeding out people/things that no longer serve me. This has shown peoples true colors, if I am not to be associated with because of my sexual freedom, body acceptance, and undoing of fat phobia then PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.

Im recovering ❤️‍🩹 but my heart and hedonism can’t be helped. i love being a kinky lil gut slut. its helped me grow in so many ways from acceptance to living an esoteric dreamy life. i love all the hot girls and guys that i see on my timeline. they hype me up and vise versa. i love this little corner of the internet. my fellow freaks keep me going. i’ve been so on and off online but every time i come back to the sweetest words and support. thank you guys for your patience and consideration

my anxiety is to the roof as im typing. its crazy that these privacy problems havent been within the actual community. funny. if your still reading this I love you extra. ill be streaming on ig on my comeback day!

new ig acc @missfertileandferal💘

[jolluxstrait]

MIX 1

Paring: Logan Howlett/Wolverine x reader

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings/tags: fluff, reader has hair but no other physical descriptions, mutual pining?, can be read as whatever gender desired, no use of y/n

a/n: first fic iv written in several years, feels good to write again. Based off of a prompt, see below. enjoy!!

[They're stuck on a road trip, and she's singing her heart out, while he pretends to hate it, but when she falls asleep, he quietly turns her playlist back on]

—

When Charles Xavier called you and Logan into his office, you had no idea what would come of it. He proceeded to explain that there was a special mission for just the two of you; going up into southern Canada to scout a possible Brotherhood hideout. When Charles offered the Blackbird to you both to use for said mission, you lept at the idea. However, Logan was quick to dismiss it.

“Yeah, no, not happening. The last time I was in that death trap Scott damn near got us all killed.”

You shoot him an annoyed glare, despite knowing that he's right. Scott Summers is good at many things, but piloting that jet is not one of them.

“Yeah, but Scott won't be flying it so there's nothing to worry about!”

You chime in, sounding hopeful that this will somehow convince Logan. In all truth, you don't want to spend any more time with the brooding man than you absolutely have to. The trip in the Blackbird would take around five hours in total. Five hours is not ideal, but doable. 

“I don't care, I'm not getting back into that thing. I'll drive us.”

His voice is stern and serious as he speaks, his tone making it clear that he's not backing down. You let out a huff of annoyance at his stubborn attitude, internally grumbling to yourself over spending the next ten hours in Logan's old beat up truck.  It's not that you didn't like Logan, quite the opposite, actually. But you knew, deep down, that the two of you would never work out. He was too much of a loner to ever even consider letting someone get close enough to love him and you didn't think that you could handle the rejection from him anyway. So you buried your feelings away in the farthest corner of your mind and committed yourself to just being friends with the grumpy man.

—

The two of you have been on the road for the past three hours. It's been a long and painfully quiet trip so far, the only saving grace being the soft sounds of the radio, humming quiet country tunes that float around the cab of the truck. It's the reason you're still sane, honestly. You stare out the window, head resting in your hand as your elbow is propped up on the side of the door. The scenery has been nothing but tall trees and empty roads since crossing over the Canadian border. 

Logan taps his fingers gently against the steering wheel to the rhythm of the song that's currently playing. The sound is an ever present reminder of the silence between you two. To your surprise, Logan is the first to break the ice. 

“You're not fallin’ asleep over there, are ya?”

His voice is gruff as he speaks, a hint of curiosity in it. He continues to keep most of his attention on the road, only glancing over when you respond. 

“No, just watching the trees go by..”

Logan nods his head at your answer, knowing he would be doing the same thing if he wasn't driving. 

“You can change the station if ya want.”

You perk up at his offer. It's not that you didn't like country music, more that it wasn't your favorite. And honestly, after the last three hours, you were kind of tired of it. You take him up on his offer, shifting your gaze from the tree-filled scenery to the truck's radio, clicking through the stations, pausing on a few only to change it a couple minutes later. 

“There's nothing good on right now.. do you mind if we listen to a CD? I figured I'd bring some since you insisted on driving.” 

Despite your genuine question, your tone was a bit pointed, still slightly annoyed at him for wanting to drive instead of fly.

“Sure darlin, whatever ya want.”

Logan gives you a simple shrug, gesturing to the CD player. Even though he was acting very nonchalant about it, he was genuinely curious about what you liked to listen to. He was also hoping that the change in music would give him a much needed distraction to how focused he was on you in the passenger seat. Every rise and fall of your chest as you breathe, every subtle movement of your body as you shift to get comfortable, the way your scent lingers in the air like smog as it completely takes over the original smell of cigars and leather that usually permeates the cab. It was incredibly distracting and he found himself stealing glances at you every couple minutes. 

You rustle through your bag for a moment, soon pulling a small CD case from it, taking a few moments to flip through the thin plastic sleeves until finally settling on a plain gray CD with the words “MIX 1” written on the top in black ink. With a smile, you pop the CD into the truck's CD player. A couple seconds of silence falls over the inside of the cab before an upbeat punk rock song rings out through the speakers. Logan doesn't try to hide his surprise, looking at you with wide eyes and a raised eyebrow. 

“This really the type of music you like?” 

“Yeah, what's wrong with it?”

You glance over at Logan, narrowing your eyes at him. Of course he wouldn't be into the same music as you. All this time on this round, dirt filled planet and he never bothered to broaden his music taste, only sticking to what he knew, what was familiar.

“It's damn noisy is what's wrong with it.”

It's a simple and straightforward answer, exactly what you would expect out of him. He wrinkles his nose as the next song plays, another similar sounding tune from the same genre.

“Yeah well, you said I could listen to whatever I wanted, so you're stuck with it.”  

You roll your eyes at him as you start singing along to the second song. You run through the whole CD, getting more into the music with each passing song. Logan, despite keeping up his annoyed facade at your singing and choice of music, is absolutely enamored with you. He steals glances at you every so often, watching as you smile while you get lost in the music, his heart rate increasing at the sight. He takes in every moment of you like this, carefree and having fun, committing it to memory.

Logan knows he shouldn't feel this way about you. He shouldn't want to spend time with you as often as he does, shouldn't want to reach out and grab your hand or brush a stray strand of hair from your face, or find any excuse to touch you. Yet, the urge to do so is ever present. He knows that there's no way that you can feel the same way for him that he does about you. He's not sure if he could even bring himself to let you in, not wanting to taint you with the darkness and trauma he keeps bottled up inside. So he pretends to be indifferent towards you, to always keep you at an arm's length away for your own safety. He subtly shakes his head, pushing his meandering thoughts to the back of his mind as he forces himself to focus on the road. You let out a soft sigh as the CD pops halfway out of the player, signifying that it has reached the end. Logan doesn't move to push it back into the player, keeping his gaze on the road ahead of him. You take that as a sign that he's had enough. 

“Alright.” You say, settling back against the leather passenger seat. “It's your turn to pick the music.”

Logan glances down at the radio, reaching up without a word to click the button a few times as he searches through the stations. Finally, he settles back on the old country station. You let out a soft chuckle, not at all surprised that this is what he decided. After about thirty minutes of the quiet music, Logan sneaks himself a glance at you, raising his eyebrows when he sees you asleep in the seat next to him. A small smile tugs on the corners of his lips at the sight of your gentle breathing. He can't help but notice how calm and peaceful you look in this moment, a stark difference from earlier when you were singing your heart out to your music.

Without thinking, he reaches his hand over to push a stray strand of hair behind your ear. He pauses as his fingers are mere inches from the strand, hesitating for a moment before finally giving in and gently moving it out of the way of your face. His touch is featherlite, making sure not to disturb you in any way. Logan takes one more good look at you before turning his attention back to the road. As the radio station starts to fizzle out of range, he brings his hand up to change it, noticing your CD still sticking out of the player. With a soft push, he watches as the CD slides back into the slot, the same upbeat punk rock song playing moments later. He turns down the volume a bit so as not to wake you, tapping his fingers to the rhythm of each song on the steering wheel as he lets the CD play. It's still noisy, but knowing that you like it, and the images from you singing your heart out to it earlier are making Logan see the genre in a whole new light. 

[angelmachines]

teru & socialization

i've posted about this before but something ive been thinking about a LOT is mp100's themes of loneliness (and eventual connections). i think this is an aspect of teru's character (in particular) that gets left out because it's not as explicit but i've been wanting to do a deep dive on it for a while and i finally sat down to do it. just a warning, this post is gonna be LONG.

these two panels are from chapter 16 of the manga (which i'm using for my evidence because i. dont want to scrub through the anime LOL). initial sentiment: teru uses his powers to cheat having friends/a good social life and wouldn't have that if he tried earnestly. this is a fair interpretation of the scene. with what we know, at this point of time (as in within the teru-mob fight) teru would not be able to connect with other people earnestly, due to his mindset. which i think is a fair interpretation, HOWEVER:

(from chapter 17 ^^) the first panel shows teru's expression to be strained and the second is visibly unhappy. this puts the first set of panels into a different context, that maybe underneath all of this, teru doesn't WANT any of this life that he's built. keep in mind that i'm analyzing this with teru's possible autistic tendencies in mind & you dont have to believe he's autistic, im not your dad, but i do find this a pretty meaningful indication of masking if he were

(note: yes, the strain can definitely be read as comp-het, and i would agree but that's not relevant so go read this post on that instead)

even if the rest of these panels show teru content with his life, i think these expressions are pretty vital to how we read his life especially because we know so little of it. think about it, if you were a kid desperate for affection because you couldn't get it anywhere else, especially not in a way that would come off as "mature" or "unaffected", wouldn't you also look for validation in your popularity? even if it aligned you with people who you consider fundamentally different to you? my point here is that teru can't not stand out-- it's in his nature-- and we are shown how he tries to blend in & receive attention in the only way possible to him; which is to say that he molds himself into something that is palatable, likeable, and superior to other people. if he's nothing, like mob, he has spent his entire life covering up for it. if he fails socially, like mob, he has to be good at everything (even if he cheats to do so) so that everyone else can look past it.

(side note for my teru angst enjoyers: this is a panel of his mom. the mom who he hasn't seen in years. doesn't it make sense that, if he hasn't heard his mom say he's proud of him for literal years, that he would overachieve in response? not related to the autism thing i just have the teru bug. also don't be misogynistic in my notes both his parents suck we just get a singular mention of his mom)

so if teru couldn't meaningfully have friends before mob, that could very easily be because of his past mindset, right?

...except, we don't.. really... see him make other friends afterwards.

but, the awakening lab, right?

(ok i lied to you sorry there is one anime screenshot and thats because it stood out to me while i rewatched it earlier this month. sorry.) id like to bring attention to this screenshot during the cultural festival because the awakening lab can definitely be seen as a direct contradiction of this and i'd like to point out a couple things:

1) in this scene the shiratori brothers are in another room 2) them and the other three are friends with ritsu (or at least close enough acquaintances to want to see him).

considering this is one of the only times they appear together for Fun i am more inclined to believe this is an encounter where they went together because they all would've gone separately anyway. this isn't to discount the possible bond that these characters might have, but thats the thing. we... aren't really shown that they're friends and enjoy spending time together outside of this screenshot, where two out of six of the members are not even present. not to mention that teru is still placing himself in a role separate from his peers. despite stripping the superiority away, teru is still the awakening lab's mentor, not friend. teru still views himself as fundamentally different in a context where his psychic powers don't make him that way.

...except with mob. i bring this placement of power up because where he is the awakening lab's mentor, teru declares mob to be his rival, or, in other words, teru is just like him. he is accepting that mob and him are the same. (and if we view mob from an autistic lens... so on and so forth)

as if to hammer in that point even further-- in the summer vacation omake, teru explicitly states that "summer break is just a super long, super boring stretch of alone time." i'm not sure of the timeline here, but guessing from the hair, we're at least post season 1. which gives us explicit confirmation here that teru is spending the break alone despite his relationship to the awakening lab. his connection to mob is a lifeline here because mob is one of the only people who can intuitively understand teru's isolation without judgment

(also, on that point of teru's autistic tendencies: teru does and says a LOT of things that would raise other peoples eyebrows and doesn't seem to notice.

here we get teru actively admitting to his home life, right in front of reigen, WHO COULD CALL CHILD SERVICES ON HIM? this genuinely made me rethink this character entirely. teru's filter is... minimal. he isn't constantly volunteering information and generally minds his own business, but if you ask? Well.

teru is a social person, but to say he is proficient in understanding social situations seems... wrong. teru views his loneliness as boring because, despite being fairly open, does not actually allow himself to think about his own feelings and how they affect him. this loneliness is boring because he doesn't have enough of a reference to realize its not

if we are taking pre-mob teru to be a version of himself who is masking, or at the very least someone who is faking a lot of stuff in a less autistic sense, the fight with mob changes teru to the point where he no longer hides himself. in the same way that mob was able to shake teru's fragile superiority complex i think the change in appearance marks the end of the self teru had built up. from this point on we see him become a lot more... Him. his appearance and his fashion choices are, presumably, completely normal to him and we get no indication that he believes otherwise despite the reactions it gets-- which is... well, i wouldn't be writing this post if i thought it was one of his most neurotypical traits.

in fact, he seems... pretty oblivious to what other people think of him. which is an interesting distinction to make considering the intelligence we Know he possesses (which is not to say that you are unintelligent if you don't pick up on social cues, just that its common for media to depict it that way.) these traits are made pointedly, even if unintentionally, separate, ESPECIALLY when you note the amount of characters who Do ruminate on or stare at teru's appearance.

some examples. i don't even think this is all of it-- case in point.)

[glass--beach]

when and how did you learn so much about music theory?

honestly i've been gradually accumulating theory knowledge wherever i can for like, 15 years now. i don't have any formal education in it aside from learning the basics in piano lessons as a kid and marching band in high school. no joke a lot of it really was some mix of wikipedia articles, youtube videos, and reddit threads, as well as just talking with people who know more than me. i also read academic music theory papers every now and then (not really gonna do much for a beginner but interesting for finding new ways of thinking). in the past couple years i learned a LOT from the book Twentieth Century Harmony by Vincent Persichetti but everyone i've recced it to said it's the dullest thing they ever read so ymmv

in terms of actually practically applying theory though the most important thing is always to just learn how to play songs you like and try to reverse engineer it. find out why certain chords or scales or grooves feel certain ways, and then steal those ideas for yourself. doing that over and over again will give you a diverse toolbox of musical devices - like line clichés, minor ivs, secondary dominants, tritone substitutions, altered dominants, to name a couple of devices i use ridiculously often - & whether you know the "real" theory terms or not simply recognizing the patterns and knowing how to apply them will get you very far. most people who have ever listened to music already understand some degree of musical structure intuitively, if you've ever made up a song to sing to your cat or whatever you've pulled from that. i guarantee most songwriters who "don't know theory" work in that way, nobody is completely winging it.

kind of went off topic from the original question there lol. the answer to "how" is that i'm a sick little freak and learning about theory is the only thing that brings me joy

[all-pacas]

i read all your house fics over the past few days and i love your style of writing. the dialogue fits the characters and show so well, idk what it is about it but it just clicks in my head and i can hear their voices while i read it. and all of their internal monologues are just perfect. i love the grasp you have on the ducklings' backstories and motivations its seriously inspired :))

now im trying to work on the oneshot idea ive been stewing over for an entire year, about chase being house's only fellow pre-canon, which seems like a weird and absurd situation to me. the idea is that something must have happened for him to basically be secured as house's fellow, but he also has to realize himself that he passed house's mysterious criteria. any specific tips for writing him? especially younger him?

Oh wow that’s so flattering! And SUCH a good idea for a fanfic, I’m also lowkey obsessed with the mysterious year (!) Chase spent with House pre-series lmao. Like I think we all agree, there’s no way House would have kept him just because his dad called, right? I actually can’t think of a way to get someone fired faster than telling House he has to employ this kid.

I have no idea for tips, because I feel like I still kind of am like ??? when it comes to Chase. But I’m also always happy to yell about god’s least favorite princess:

Chase is kinda passive-aggressive! He will do his best to avoid and freeze out his problems. When everyone is trying to talk to him about his dad, he ignores, refuses to engage, literally walks away. When House confronts him about the nun in S1, Chase doesn’t actually confirm that he’s Catholic, even: he just changes the subject to “I bet the nun’s boss knows about her.” By implication, he confirms House is right, but he never says shit. He’s private as hell. Likewise, he gets touchy when people “pry.” We also see it in his relationship with Cameron, to an extent: it bothers him for a long while that she never makes him feel welcome at her apartment, but he doesn’t say anything, just lowkey makes sure they’re always at his. 

He also tends to be conflict avoidant. When Cameron and Foreman are fighting over the “stolen” article, they both try to get him on their side, and he tells them both what they want to hear. He doesn’t defend himself against House’s bullying, Foreman tells him to his face a couple of times that he doesn’t like him and Chase says nothing. However, this doesn’t mean he’s that easy going. We see with his dad he will hold a fucking grudge forever — even in S5 he’s talking about how much he hated him, and in S8 and how he talks about his mother, we see he hasn’t stopped hating her, either. Also he calls out Foreman a couple of times, either by just being a little bitch (telling a patient “Foreman doesn’t like me either” while Foreman is right there) or by just laying things out for him (S7′s “oh, you think you’re better than me?” stairway rant). It also doesn’t mean Chase is totally spineless and has no boundaries. With Cameron, he actually dumps her when she tries to avoid him over the engagement, and has no problem calling off the wedding over sperm-gate. When things matter to him, he’ll stand up for himself; he just prefers to freeze out or avoid conflict. He also has no problem in confronting House when he feels like it. He’s not very scared of House, House just doesn’t bother him.

He also gains more… let’s call it confidence… as time goes on. Chase always seems to be pretty secure in his self-worth and idea of himself (and NEVER willingly opens up to other people), but over time he definitely becomes a little punchier. In S1-3 he’s willing to just sort of roll his eyes and take it when things happen, but by S4-5 he’s happy to call House or Foreman out and argue instead of just letting things go (passive-aggressively). He never gets any better at emotional honesty (his “punch House instead of talking about his divorce” thing is straight out of his S1 daddy issues playbook), but he does grow something of a spine. I imagine before the show started, he was even less prone to fighting back beyond snarky comments.

He genuinely finds House funny. He almost always laughs at House’s stupidest jokes, and as much as he’s accused of being an asskisser, he. Really just does think House is funny. Foreman and Cameron hardly ever react to House’s little comments, Chase is always grinning along. This is important. Chase’s sense of humor sucks! He is an idiot! He likes House. In S1 he says he likes how direct House is, there’s the way he always laughs at House’s jokes, he is absolutely a huge suck up also but he also likes House. I think pre-canon this was absolutely still the case. House comes in all prepared to make this little nepo-baby cry and instead Chase not just imprints on him but thinks he’s so funny and admires how mean he is and how smart he is. Chase really likes his job. He says it a lot, but I don’t know if it gets focused on all that much. He ratted to Vogler because he wanted to keep his job, he makes comments many times about how he won’t risk his job. He likes working for House, he wants to keep doing it, he will ass-kiss and work hard and throw people under the bus to keep it: with the Vogler situation, he was pretty willing to fight Cameron for it, and he and Cameron usually get along!

He’s very observant when he wants to be. He gets House; from his little monologue to Wilson in Private Lives we see he basically can analyze “House is looking at a book” and figure out it’s a fake book and that House is really invested in it. In S3, he’s able to pick apart House and Foreman’s resignation drama over like. Two sentences. In ‘Nobody’s Fault’ in S8, Chase is pissed with House (for really the first time ever), but also sees through his excuses to do differentials in the OR as excuses for House to check in, he knows House is worried: in S5, Chase realizes House is broken up about his father’s death without even seeing him. This is also something House appreciates about Chase, a lot. He says in S3 it’s why he hired him; House also tends to “reward” Chase by being pretty honest with him. When Chase asks him something, House usually answers him honestly. (with Foreman’s resignation, as soon as Chase calls him out, House admits it and they have an honest conversation on what House should do next; in S5, House wants a surgery done for personal reasons and admits it and why when Chase asks.) 

I think part of this is because Chase actually very rarely does ask House anything, and he never makes demands on House or his feelings. He accepts at face value that House is “fine” during Detox, he doesn’t try and fix or change him, in “Half Wit” when the others are scheming to get House tested or make amends with him, Chase tries (and fails) to act normal, and then just wants a hug. Compare like. Cameron, who keeps trying to change or push House into acting how she wants him to act (blackmailing him into a date, for example). I’m not saying House doesn’t care about her, just. House is more open with Chase than he is with a lot of people who aren’t Wilson. Also, Chase does not return the favor. He literally ran up the stairs rather than tell House about his daddy issues, lmao. It’s kind of crazy that House is arguably more open and honest with Chase than vice-versa.

Finally, despite all his secret seething passive-aggression and daddy issues, and the fact that honestly Chase could really benefit from therapy and anti-depressants? He is not a sad uwu baby. This is sort of a general rant, but. You see it all the tiiime in fanfic. And yes, he’s super fucked up. But he’s cheerful most of the time! He likes doing crazy things, he is often pretty sarcastic and makes bad jokes! He’s a flirt, even before his S7 manwhore days — in early seasons we see him check out girls in the hallways, flirt at parties, with residents and nurses. He has hobbies (he’s fairly sporty, if Cameron’s “your apartment was decorated by a drunk rugby player” comment is anything to go on), he likes to read and do crossword puzzles and surfs and skis. He tells bad jokes. He tends to be fairly self confident — he doesn’t just take it when he’s accused of making mistakes, he has no problems with social situations or interactions, he hilariously thinks women are attracted to his personality and not his looks, like, he thinks he has a winning personality, that’s incredibly funny. He’s not arrogant in that he doesn’t really have much of a need to prove himself (he’s pretty fucking unambitious, actually), but he definitely has the Good Looking Rich Kid mentality where he thinks he belongs in any given situation and that people like him. He also has the social skills to back it up. Because he represses and avoids and seethes instead of expressing emotions, he comes off as generally cheerful and laid back, you know? Why be sad when you can just repress everything and flirt with nurses instead!

Finally finally: he's a huge fucking crybaby. Have you seen how red his eyes get. He might try to be stoic and repress but he tears up at the drop of a hat. First time House bullied him he probably started to cry.

[wizardnaturalist]

I am not about to sit here and claim that any work is above reproach, but so many criticisms of RENT are either directly addressed within the show or are just. not true. and this perennial discourse about how Problematic it is annoys me, so here we go

Why don't they just pay the rent?

are you kidding me

did you watch the show??

they don't have any money

the situation established at the beginning is that Benny has allowed them to stay in their apartment rent free for the past year because Roger was unable to work and he and Mark wouldnt be able to afford living expenses as well as Roger's medication otherwise.

Benny then tells them that unless they break up Maureen's protest, they will not only have to immediately start paying rent, they will also have to pay back the entire previous year's rent or else be evicted

needless to say if you ware barely scraping by, you do not have a year's worth of rent and then some just sitting on hand

Mark was cosplaying poverty, he could've gone back to his parents' house at any time.

perhaps

all we know about Mark's parents from canon is that theyre pushy and he doesnt want to live with them. We don't know any details of their living situation or home life

but even if he would have been fine moving back home, it would have meant abandoning both the community he had grown into, and Roger.

Roger literally had not left the apartment since April died, and was not well enough to work to support himself at the time. Mark leaving would mean leaving Roger without support.

Mark's view of the homeless is often voyeuristic and expoitative.

yah

the conflict between Mark's comparatively privileged upbringing and the poverty amongst which he now lives is a major part of his character

remember when that homeless lady told him to fuck off

that didnt just slip in by accident

The whole show is about not being able to afford things, and then Mark quits his job for his Ideals.

Mark was not entirely jobless before being employed at the magazine. He wasn't going from having a job to unemployment. He always had money for food, clothes, medication, etc., even if it was tight

he just wasn't employed in his field. it wasnt a question of Having A Job or Not; it was about whether Mark was willing to accept the chance to get closer to making a living off of his art, even if it went against his morals, or whether he could be content carving out filmmaking for himself in a way that felt right

I thought Jonathan Larson was gay and died of AIDS.

not his fault??

neither Larson nor his estate ever claimed either of those things, you just jumped to a conclusion and made it everyone elses' problem

I can't believe this is a common "criticism"

A straight man has no right to write about the AIDS epidemic.

I dont know how to tell you this, but AIDS is not a gays-only disease. what are you, a politician from 1986?

RENT was not about being gay, it was about the disease. Roger, Mimi, Mark, and Benny- half the main cast- are all straight as far as the audience is aware. other than gay people, the most at-risk groups at the time were IV drug users, sex workers, people of colour, and impoverished people, all of whom are represented in the show

Larson may not have had AIDS, but many of his friends and loved ones did, and died of it. how incredibly callous to say that someone cannot write about the tragedy they personally lived through, just because they are not of the demographic you most associate with it

Larson plagiarized the whole cast and all the major story beats from Sarah Shulman's People in Trouble.

this is one that cropped up on tiktok a couple years ago

have you read the book?

I have

the only similarities are that they are both about poverty and AIDS in New York, and there are characters who cheat on their partners. that's it.

it's like saying Veep plagiarized The West Wing because theyre both about white house staffers. or like those guys who claim any fantasy story featuring swords and the hero's journey is a Star Wars ripoff. it' absurd.

RENT is directly and openly based off the opera La Bohème by Puccini, as well as incorporating autobiographical elements from Larson's life

stop just repeating things you hear

in conclusion: there are real criticisms and analyses to be had with RENT, but these are not them

[narzissenkreuz-ordo]

i guess i need some. advice? encouragement? about some stuff thats been happening recently so suicide/violence cw under the cut

i won't go into detail but i had. a very huge emotional/physical/mental breakdown today. where i was just. basically screaming and howling about how suicidal ive been lately. I haven't said anything out loud/via text on the internet abt it because i know saying i want to kms so often is bad for my own well being and ultimately makes other uncomfortable as well

so yeah i've just been. holding all that in. i knew the thoughts were coming in and out the past few months but was just shrugging it off as just being stressed abt the nightmare year i had. but i really was just. lying to myself and others because i didnt want to worry anyone/didn't want to admit how horrible i was doing after a couple years of good progress. but as it stands things are heading into a really bad direction for me rn. its not normal to go to sleep suicidal and immediately be suicidal upon waking up.

I don't really know what i can really do harm reduction wise. i'm unable to have regular visits with a psychiatrist/therapist bc of availability issues + i tend to just. lie. because its easier to say im fine than it is to advocate for myself and get actual help. and even then medication will not save me and coping skills can only go so far if im so deep in it im unable to take care of myself/feed myself/clean myself/eat/etc so none of it is effective enough in the moment. i know it CAN be effective and some of the skills ive learned can help during situational issues but this is really deep rooted improperly treated mental illness and i need a stronger foundation to be able to use any of the skills

i use a means of self isolation to punish myself, because i'm so upset with myself for not being able to pick myself up on my own. people can say im not a burden over and over but theres always gonna be a catch in the end. i freak out because what if this is one of my last meltdowns before they decide enoughs enough and i just get abandoned. again.

I feel like maybe being so Online is making things worse?? but i don't know??? my concentration is completely gone even when trying to use dnd/closing discord completely and im just constantly refreshing social media every 10 seconds and just stew in the bad feelings.

I don't know if just. leaving the internet cold turkey for a bit would do more harm than good.....i dont want to be alone and caught up in my thoughts. but i have a hard time doing things in 'moderation' and don't know how to even begin to roll back my internet/screen time usage

fandom is fun and great. but i dont think i should be using video games as pure escapism or playing them 24/7. im already getting bored and unenthusiastic about the things i like because its ALL i do.... I want to have at least SOME time away from screens. i hate having the impulse the check social media or refresh even 30 seconds (im even doing it NOW) but i just dont know where to begin in cultivating non-screentime hobbies and have the ability to focus on things more long term without having than doing 1000 things all at once to keep myself busy. i play video games muted most of the time, have a yt video playing, sometimes i'll stop mid video game and pull out my ipad while still having the games open, and im always on discord

there's books i still want to read, i eventually want to pick up sewing again. im considering getting a craft set for making those beaded bracelets (my brother gets them from concerts all the time and thinks it would be fun to make them too) but that all requires money

and i just. idk where im going with this rn but. any advice or suggestions or just. words of encouragement would be. really nice rn

[mybuttonfelloff]

Okok so we all know the Sims 3 is like, not super popular and is also notoriously buggy BUT on the off chance anyone is like me and loves it, i have some tips that have greatly helped my game run better. I also am including links to any specific creators or sites I recommend. Tips under the cut bc it's a long post, but I tried to be thorough! You will need to understand like, basic reading comprehension and basic computer-y stuff (downloading files, unpacking files, dragging and dropping into folders, editing the occasional file text) but most stuff I link to have tutorials for adding mods into the game and whatnot.

I really hope this helps people like me who love TS3! but know the game is.... outdated for basically all computers. These are all things ive learned over the past couple years, so I hope this can be a helpful resource for anyone wanting to play TS3.

Number one will probably be using this tutorial to make the game recognize your current computer specs. Because the game is, yknow, old, it wont recognize newer drivers and whatnot. This tutorial will allow the game to actually recognize them and therefore run better https://www.carls-sims-4-guide.com/forum/index.php?topic=26753.0

Nraas will be your best friend for managing things in-game. It's similar to MCCC for the sims 4 but you completely customize which like, modules you use. I highly highly recommend specifically Story Progression and Master Controller https://www.nraas.net/community/home

LazyDuchess is a goddess and I highly Highly recommend her Smooth Patch mod. It makes the game run so much better. Also she has so many other mods that make things like CAS load faster plus a search function for Build/Buy https://www.patreon.com/lazyduchess/posts

ModTheSims is a great resource for Sims 3 Mods as well, definitely recommend making an account and perusing their sims 3 mods https://modthesims.info/

Speaking of ModTheSims, I highly recommend Regul Save Cleaner to... clean up the extra data in your saves https://modthesims.info/download.php?t=652440

Also on ModTheSims theres an excellent bug fixing mod from Simler90, it touches on a bunch of like longtime bugs that havent been fixed (like the firefighter career being bugged) https://modthesims.info/download.php?t=659969

Make sure that before playing or after adding any new mods, delete the files: caspartcache.package, compositorcache.package, scriptcache.package, simcompositorcache.package, and socialcache.package. If not, the game WILL load slowly and/or crash. These files are found in Documents\ElectronicArts\The Sims 3. Not sure about Steam bc I use the EA app, but I assume its a similar path.

Save every half hour or so to prevent crashes killing too much progress. And don't play for longer than an hour per initial load (like, play for an hour, save, quit and load the game again). I find it helps the game run smoother when you dont play in 3 hour stretches.

make a backup saves folder for your saves. Im not sure why, but i found that keeping only one save in the actual saves helps it loads faster and smoother.

Also when saving your game, ALWAYS use Save As. If you Save As, you wont have to worry about accidentally corrupting your saves, which happens a lot

Also, when you're about to save, move the save you loaded into your backup saves folder BEFORE saving. I find it crashes/corrupts way less if its not trying to compete with the other save

also keep your sims personal inventory fairly empty (like 10 items max) to prevent a known bug from occurring when saving. Use a storage box or something to store collectibles like gems, plants, etc.

WHEN IN CAS WAIT UNTIL THE LITTLE FLOWER LOOKING ICON IS BLUE TO SCROLL THROUGH THE CATEGORY. When it turns blue, all the items have properly loaded, so it wont lag nearly as much.

Prev point applies to build/buy, wait for the category to load before messing with things. You'll save yourself a lot of stress

Dont use 4 speed, i find it just lags and stops progressing time. I use 2 or 3 max, even when sleeping

In BuyDebug you can buy these invisible lights that make the lighting much much better in game. Just have an actual light, like a lamp or outdoor light, to be able to change brightness and color in Live mode. Bc.... Its invisible so non-clickable

[chelzone]

My WIP Games Ahead: An Assortment

feeling like rambling a bit to get myself motivated to work on stuff right now, as well give a fresh update on what projects ive been tending to this year. just gonna focus on three that have had a lotta work put into em already

not gonna tag this one since its a mixture of SFW and NSFW and hidden under a read more. dont open if u dont wanna read about the latter (more specifically expansion kink stuff)

Hallowed Discharge

this one i've been putting my heart and soul into for a long while now, as it's a mountain of coding and writing despite only being maybe 25-30% finished argubly. made within the Quest text adventure engine, much like my released SFW game Kindred Spirit. Hallowed Discharge revolves around a pooltoy priest named Reverend Artemis, and his task in trying to nonlethally expel a hell of a lot of spirits from an abandoned mall named Delícias do Vale. features a hell of a lot of NPCs to chat with, tons of tasks to do for the most important of spirits, a mixture of percentage-based stats to be mindful of (weight, faith, and energy), and a fuckton of early game overs if u aint careful along the way. so far currently i'd say half of the first floor's tended to, same for the basement, and nothing for the second floor or general outside yet.

last time i tinkered with this, i was tending to a mission where the player has to attempt to fix fuses around the mall to restore partial power to the basement generators (mechanically it works code-wise, still need to move them to proper areas before the task can be completed properly). as for the justification of kinky stuff, our beloved goddess of expansion herself Her Divine is puppeting the show from above

Enchanted Bliss

another game with a lotta heart put into it, this one's a SFW visual novel made within Ren'Py (my first proper one at that in said engine!). Enchanted Bliss revolves around a newbie and mid-to-late 20 something wizard Dylan Rhodes, being strung along on a mission with a bunch of professional wizards / coworkers (a field exercise for Rhodes, a bigger deal of trouble for the rest). within the ruined city of Filia Lunae, Dylan will have to tag up with one of their coworkers to investigate a part of said city and hopefully score a friendship / a romantic relationship along the way (or even beef it completely).

last time i worked on this, ive been in the process of redoing the art style completely to be a more neon and line-focused one (as seen in the image above). fuck ton of emotion sprites are done for the protagonist Dylan, supporting character / mission boss Carmichael, and one of said coworkers - Brava Denvers. still have to draw the rest of the emotions for the other 5 coworkers. past that ive made 16 short music loops (1 min or so each) that might wind up in the game or its soundtrack slated for post-game release in the years ahead. still a lot of drawing, writing, and music-making ahead along with sourcing any royalty free / public domain sounds with credits of course. current playable section is just the tutorial / introduction camp before starting any of the six routes

The Ballad of Hush and Clover

another kinky game, though this one made in the flicksy 2 engine much like me released SFW game For Your Eyes. this one revolves around wizard couple and toony folks Evelyn Hush an Patsy Clover, heading off to the Nilbrook Mountain Chain to investigate a strange cave stumbled upon by a coworker. from there, they stumble upon a small fragment of what used to be temple to the (shocker) goddess Her Divine. there, a mystical figure emerges as a proxy of said goddess an offers a challenge for one (whichever the player chooses) of the toony spouses / wizards present.

with enough vague story rambling outta the way, it's basically gonna be a point and click sort of storybook thang. you'll either be playing as Evelyn OR Patsy - not both. each spouse has their own setting and associated adventure in a simulated dimension tied to their challenge (the other stays behind in the real world with the mentioned figure / proxy). so far a fuckton of scenes are drawn for it already, fulfilling the entirety of gameplay in the introduction and tutorial. gameplay elements besides traveling From Here to There will also be opportunities to use your powers, think about the situation ahead, chat with the folks within the challenge, and utilize a map to figure out where the hell ur at.

last time i worked on it i started making the early parts of both playable stories for each respective protagonist. Evelyn gets to deal with potential inflation mischief on an airship resort of sorts, while Patsy deals with potential fattening mischief on a cross-country luxury train of sorts. this one has been fun as fuck to draw and write for, and is chock full of visuals oh my lord

anyway if uve read this or even a chunk of this write-up, thanks! feel its important to remind folks that im still working on things and offer any progress updates when i can lol. at the moment of writing (08-29-2024) im prob gonna try hopping back into game dev for one or all of these come early September this year. id say realistically it'll be a hot minute until i release any of these three (most work needed for Hallowed Discarge, least needed for The Ballad of Hush and Clover, yadda yadda)

[shadowscommand]

Hello.. can we get more ghostmace headcanons. If you ever wrote any pls link them too...

:)c YESSS i love talking abt maceghost.. i know ive made a bunch of sporadic posts about them but i havent done a like dedicated hcs post. i feel like often im struggling to understand the narrative of their past but generally i keep the same vibe to it all.

mace is for sure the more level headed of the two only because relationships and love freak ghost out. ive mentioned on a post like years ago hes traumatized by watching his mother stick with his father and i still believe this. hes like scared to be in a position where something Isn't working anymore but hes too emotional to cut it off so he self sabotages the relationship so mace will get pissed and stop talking to him.

in the past (as i mentioned in another post) mace Did also feed into this. he had a good home life but his own personal issues and anger at more outward issues caused him to like. seek an outlet for this sort of petty squabbling. and he found it in ghost. until he got tired of festering and being pissed off all the time and decided to actually like Do Shit he feels good about. and he broke up with ghost.

now in modern times where theyve caught up with each other it's like a weird mash of their past and them both being more mature. ghost struggles more because hes very adverse to actually improving himself and how he feels about himself bc hes like. hes Given Up on being a person. while mace has done a lot of healing.

like the toxic factor of maceghost Is Ghost at this point to me. but theres a lot of love there bc theres a lot of mutual respect and, like, easy familiarity there. mace understands how ghost works at his core.

so like. when ghost is being Normal and not anxious they literally just. like. Click? mace can extremely put ghost at ease with just his presence. and mace in turn rly enjoys his company bc a calm ghost is actually just sort of casually funny.

and ghost does like making mace laugh i imagine mace has a really beautiful smile bc he has resting bitch face so when it lights up it's very special.

ghost also i think would be 100% willing to take his mask off in a room of just him and mace. no special occasion needed he's just comforted. mace has already seen it over many, many years.

because they're like an Old couple i think theyve been on and off since their mid twenties for ghost and late twenties for mace. WHICH is another reason mace like wont entertain the childish picking ghost does theyre literally too old.

but he does play along a little. sometimes. old habits die hard. if it's petty mace will have a back and forth w ghost for old times sake its just how ghost communicates sometimes. emotions are just hard for ghost mace understands this. to put all of this simply.

i will say tho if more comes out and they end up more antagonistic than my current read i will still be a huge stan i love when dudes try to fuck and kill each other 💪🥰💕

speaking of fucking tho. tw for implying sexual assault also i just got kinda nasty sowwy.

LIKE we know ghost has a complicated relationship w sex a lot of his past history w it is like traumatic. i think he was already promiscuous as a teen bc he already had issues from his upbringing so hes like. well experienced. and he likes sex. and he likes fucking mace bc his dick is thick, hes good with his hands, and he's not afraid to be rough with him and take their time bc mace likes to be edged and when ghost is rly into it he Likes it to Last esp if he can cum more than once. he likes when his pussy is sore.

BUT ALSOO theyre both like. verse esp w each other. ghost likes topping more tho. he likes fucking mace for being a little bit vocal and just. like. huge. ghost loves bending him over and watching his fat bounce. ghost would blow off any task and anyone to go fuck him.

but also, bc its ghost and i think if the wrong buttons get pressed in the wrong order and it goes sour he gets quiet and, like, disassociates. and mace keeps watch for that bc he doesn't want to put ghost in that state. its not fun

[secretagentsloveblogs]

i am NOT late to day one of Redactedtober 2023

ive never posted or shared fanfics before and im hella nervous to do so esp because i put this together in two hours with no proofreading

but i suppose now is as good a time as ever to post 🫡

uhhhh

1.3k words

cw: implied family trauma/abuse, read at ur own discression. nothing is "seen" in the fic.

Characters: Lovely x Vincent

prompt: Home

tagging: @specter-soltare @xanyiaz

Lovely shut off the car, sitting silent in the driveway for just a moment. They wanted to take a good look at the house before them. It'd been years.

Their childhood home.

They didn't know what exactly was pulling them, urging them to drive here today, they just knew they needed to see it again.

It wasn't nostalgia, really. There weren't many happy memories made in that house, so it wasn't like they missed it or anything. Just the opposite.

They stepped out of the car, leaves falling apart below their feet. The place could use some intense landscaping and yardwork, seems it hadn't been touched in decades. Moss had overwhelmed the front facing walls, the roof drain pipe was overfull with fallen leaves and pine needles, and god knows what else.

"Time has not been kind to you." They stated as they stuffed their hands in their pockets. With a sigh, they walked up the driveway. They weren't going to get caught for tresspassing, or breaking and entering, the house hadn't been touched in ages anyways. They also had no desire to go in the place, they just wanted to...peak around.

And peak they did.

Through the kitchen windows, they saw the old appliances they once used on a daily basis. The creaky cabinets were still the same, too.

Next was the living room windows. The house looked so different with no furniture, but it still felt all the same. You can't remove the memories of a place by replacing wallpaper or a fancy new rug.

They remembered what it was like, getting them and their siblings up for school each day. Taking care of the littles was important to Lovely. They needed to show them that if no one else, their older sibling wanted the best for them. Early mornings making breakfast, late nights helping the kids with homework, or trying to distract the young ones from the bickering down the hallway.

They hoped they had a good life now. Hoped they were happy.

With a heavy breath, they walked to the backyard gate, pushing the old metal back to let themselves in. The old tire swing came into view. A half smile grew over Lovely's face. Bittersweet.

Pushing the kids on the old rubber wheel, the laughter filling their memories. It was just enough to make them tear up for a moment.

They sat down on the swing, for the first time in years. The branch holding it leaned with the weight, but held strong just as well.

This house wasn't a happy one. It was... only okay for a few years. But the walls grew cold fast, and the warmth just never returned. It was as if it was built on a hellmouth, doomed from the beginning.

6:14 am. Shit, it's getting late. They needed to get home before the sun rose, Vincent would be getting back soon anyways. They stood from the swing and walked back to the car, looking back only once before they reached the car.

They drove with the top down on the car, taking in all the cool October air in their hair. The drive was therapeutic, leaving their old living quarters in the past.

As they pulled into the driveway, they smiled. A real smile. They took their time going inside, they just wanted to appreciate the place for what it is.

The garage smell that they hated, the quiet squeak in the door to the house, even the paint on the walls. (It was starting to chip, and the couple had planned on getting it fixed up, or even painting it a new color entirely, but for now they appreciated the wear and tear).

They wandered the place as if it was brand new to them, appreciating every doorframe and lightswitch in their path. Sure, it might seem goofy to take pride in these minor details but... to them, these things were signs of new beginnings. Happiness. A new life.

Lovely stumbled into the guest bedroom, the one they had taken over shortly after meeting Vincent. Some of their things still lived here in this room, but more as a decoration now.

They sat down on the bed, picturing the moment they had woken after Sam healed them. Lovely remember Vincent sitting next to them in the chair. How guilty he felt after the conflict happened. How they reached from the bed to lace their pinkies, a form of affection they share with him now. A way of reassuring him or themselves that things are okay. Will be okay. They had each other, through everything.

Lovely stood up, opening the doors to the, albeit small, closet. It was so cramped once they had officially moved in as Vincents... "little roommate," and the thought of the nickname made them laugh just as it had when he first said it.

Nothing besides some shelves and hangers existed in the closet now, making the space seem much bigger than they previously remembered.

Lovely heard Vincent pull into the garage now, his music blasting as always. They told him more than once that if they had closer neighbors, they'd get so many noise complaints because of him. (But that usually ended with him saying something about how the pair could give the neighbors something "different" to listen to, instead).

"Lovely?" His voice echoed through the house, but they were too focused on memories and appreciation to answer him just yet. They heard him placing the blood bags into the fridge, but they also smelt it, too. They delighted in the idea of feeding soon, but not yet.

"Baby? Whatcha doin'?" He asked, he had traced their aura to the guest bedroom. A look of confusion and curiousity played across his face when he found them standing inside the closet, of all places. It was weird enough for them to be in this bedroom, let alone the closet.

Lovely reached over with a smile, pulling him in with them. "Hi." They wrapped their arms around him, taking in the smell of him as much as they could.

Vincent stumbled slightly, he wasn't expecting his partner to practically jump in his arms upon greeting them. Or being pulled into the closet, but uh...priorities?

"Hi," He laughed, pressing a kiss to the top of their forehead, "you doin' alright?"

"Never been better." They mumbled into his chest softly. They reached for their boyfriends hand, lacing their fingers before pressing kisses to each one.

"Well... I'm glad you're good. But uh... any particular reason we're standing in the closet of your old bedroom right now? I mean, I'll hold you wherever you want me too, but it's a little cramped in here." He took a moment to look around them, realizing just how tiny it was. One wrong move and he could bump his head on a shelf or something.

"I know! I know. It's perfect, isn't it?" Lovely squealed, practically bouncing in their spot. This earned them a laugh out of Viincent, who was still very puzzled by his partner, but whatever made them happy made him happy.

"Well, I brought home some blood bags, if you want to join me for one?" He asked. It had been a couple days since the pair had fed, and it'd be nice to feed again soon.

"Hold on, just wait. I want to stay here for just a minute."

"So... while we are here, you wanna explain what exactly we're doing in the closet right now?" Their boyfriend asked, though he showed no intention from moving from where he stood, his arms wrapped tightly around his partner.

"I was just... appreciating the place. The life I have now. And now that you're here... my home." They looked up with a smile, leaning on their toes to kiss him on the cheek. The sentiment made vincent smile wide, nodding as he pulled them in as close as possible. He shared that sentiment too, Lovely was just as much his home as he was theirs.

They wouldn't have it any other way.

[androidboy]

Hey I would earnestly love some DC recommendations! I'm a little out of my depth and I respect the wisdom of a comic shop employee.

I loved the whole Scott Snyder run of Batman, probably my favorite so far. I was recommended the Tynion IV run (by a cute guy at the Vault of Midnight shop in Detroit), liked what Fear State had to say. I recently finished reading the Catwoman (2011-2016) Vol. 5 - Race of Thieves graphic novel (found it in a LFL!), liked the narrative focus on gaslighting. Also, the Penguin is my favorite villain; I love the organized crime stories.

Also also with the utmost platonicism I must inform you that yeah, you are adorable. It makes total sense that you're breaking hearts all over the local comix community.

take my hand and let me lead you into the world off the tracks of main runs

recommendations that i have not personally read but are shop favorites and probably up your alley:

gotham city year one- written by tom king who’s one of the biggest writers in comics right now. story of the crime that sent gotham spiraling into the city of villains it became

catwoman lonely city- beautiful art and story by cliff chiang, gotham without batman has been cleaned up and a “reformed” selina kyle starts picking at the city’s old wounds

personal recommendations:

human target by tom king- very much a crime noir femme fatale whodunnit. a man whose career is being a body double for people in danger of being assassinated has finally taken a hit he can’t survive. 12 issue series, he has 12 days to figure out who killed him and whether or not it was him they were trying to kill

supergirl woman of tomorrow- beautiful beautiful story of supergirl deciding to accompany a girl on her revenge mission to track down and kill the man who killed her father and having to deal with witnessing the destruction he leaves behind on every planet he lands on

dark knights of steel- fun story about the justice league in a high fantasy setting. assassinations, questions about identity, royal politics and betrayals, harley quinn as an actual jester, batman as a knight with lil bat ears on his helmet

batman: one bad day- the riddler- not a FAVORITE per say but an interesting look at the riddler and how one bad day can push someone past the point of return and if batman can bend without breaking when a villain goes off script

stuck with recent releases and popular characters for this one, hopefully a couple of them sounds like something you can dive into

and thank youu 😘

[ckret2]

Ive only read one fic that dives deeply into bill being from flatland (flat dreams, though its popular enough, you probably heard about it from someone). And while i love it, im realy intrigued by your ideas cause its taking things in a widly opposite direction

Not only have I heard about it—multiple times!—I've also already had a couple of folks comment on my posts in a way that makes it clear they're assuming my headcanons are inspired by/based on Flat Dreams, rather than simply based on Flatland.

This is the first time someone's said they're intrigued because it's different from Flat Dreams. I feel like there's probably gonna be a lot of people measuring up my headcanons against the other fic they all know and there's not much I can do about that, so I appreciate hearing something positive!

At the moment I haven't read past chapter 2—through absolutely no fault of the author's own, it's pretty irritating to have credit for one's own writing & ideas be given to somebody else who had nothing to do with it, and it's put me off from reading the fic for now—but I have gone out of my way to get as thoroughly spoiled for the fic as I can just to make sure I'm not, y'know, accidentally retreading the exact same plot as the most well-known backstory fic in the fandom.

And yeah, by the sound of it, I just decided to veer off in a completely different direction from Flat Dreams right from the outset.

Between Bill's monologue during Weirdmageddon and "EDWIN ABBOT ABBOT HAS A DECENT IDEA" it makes perfectly logical sense to go "Flatland exactly as it is can be treated as 100% canon to Gravity Falls -> Bill is an extremely weird guy from an extremely repressive & controlling world -> Bill was trying to undo his society's oppression, went way too far, and became the villain," and get a narratively compelling backstory that fits perfectly with canon and does exactly what everyone kinda expects Bill to have done based on what we know.

However, it also happens to be a narrative that personally rubs me the wrong way. I don't think it's bad, and I still enjoy stories that use it—but it bothers me enough that I don't want to write it myself.

Conversational detour time! I've been in Transformers fandom for about 20 years, and—to oversimplify a complicated and protracted series of narrative reboots—over time, the writers of the franchise decided to give the evil villainous Decepticon army more narrative depth by stating that their home planet used to be extremely corrupt, oppressive, and controlling (you can safely compare it to 1984, Flatland, and a whole bevy of other dystopias), and the Decepticons rose up as a rebellion against the oppressive government—but then went too far, turned evil, devastated their planet, started conquering and slaughtering the rest of the galaxy, etc. etc.

The problem with this is the Decepticons are the antagonists' faction, which means the heroes are usually the surviving legacy of the corrupt oppressive government—and so for a long while you got stories with unintentional implications like "are the oppressive government and the underprivileged minorities fighting back against the government actually equally bad?" or "maybe if we let the most painfully oppressed people in society exercise any political power, their first instinct will be to oppress other people" or "sure, cops are bad and nobody wants a police state, but maybe the best solution is to find the nicest cops and put them in charge."

I say this as somebody who loves Transformers dearly, and Transformers does take some stabs at grappling with these moral issues. I don't even necessarily think it's always a bad idea to write a "faction fighting for a Good Cause goes too far and becomes worse than the thing they're fighting" story.

But several years of grimacing at the same bunch of Unfortunate Implications made me personally lean away from writing any story ideas that could be summed up as "—and attempting to fight systematic oppression made him evil."

So right from the get-go I was always going to avoid the most straightforward "Bill became a villain over the course of fighting Flatland's oppression" backstory—and trying to come up with something entirely different that still fits his claim that he "liberated" his "flat-minded" world pretty much guaranteed I wouldn't write a backstory that had much in common with Flat Dreams.

And from everything else I currently know about Flat Dreams, it seems like on most big plot points, I just sorta decided before I knew anything about the fic besides "it's Bill in Flatland" that I would do something different. "Bill gives me hella only child vibes, and that might make a good contrast to how the main cast all have siblings to help emotionally balance them." "I think I'd rather characterize his home world as less like a dystopian Victorian England and more like vaguely-modern vaguely-Western society—something that's easier for the audience see echoes of our world in than a satire a century removed from its context." "Bill doesn't strike me as someone who's good at making or maintaining friends, so with the possible exception of the Flatlander-looking guys I bet his Henchmaniacs are an ever-shifting gang of shallow brief friendships, so he's probably only known most of them a few years." "In the main fic and in Bill's backstory, as much as possible I want to introduce and play with new ideas rather than have major plot points depend upon plot devices we've already seen used in canon (for instance, ruling out Globnar as the source of Bill's power)."

I dunno what this says, except that two writers can take the exact same source materials and decide to construct a narrative with the exact same overall arc about the exact same character guided by the exact same canon quotes/details, and still come up with two wildly different stories depending upon the writers' individual tastes, priorities, and interests.

so uh tl;dr: yep I've heard of Flat Dreams; I respect its position in the fandom but haven't read it yet; based on what I know about it, I think I'm just interested in telling another story than Flat Dreams' author, and that's neither better nor worse but it is different. (And I really appreciate hearing "I'm interested in seeing something different"!)

[surskip]

lately ive been going through my bookshelf so I can eventually sort it out, and most recently ive been reading the hunger games the past couple days. i just started the last one. apparently there’s a new one that just came out? wow.. i remembered liking the books a lot when the movies were coming out (though i was a staunch The books were better.. movie hater at the time) and they’re fine. like a 6.5-7/10. so far all of them are pretty top heavy, in the sense that the first half is by far the best and then it has too many ideas and not enough time to flesh any of them out so everything gets explained really fast and then the book ends. ​the arenas aren’t really that compelling to me either. the books are alright but i am out of the age range for sure. i want to get through all the books i remembered being so invested in as an 11 year old so i can look upon them now with my Old Elderly Brain. and then i will read the good stuff ive been putting off… it’s fun to read stuff and feel the echoes of emotions you felt so heavily then but not so much now. And then you go That’s not how cpr works. Tch… and the spell goes away for a while

[hualianisms]

✦ what was your easiest fic to write & your hardest?

☉ what do you do when you get stuck writing?

✄ what’s your editing process?

✎ how do you think readers would guess a fic was yours if you posted anonymously?

tysm for the ask!! 🩵🩵 be prepared for a lot of yapping

✦ what was your easiest fic to write & your hardest?

easiest fic: this is a bit of a hard qn bc ive written 58 fics so far through the years and i forgot half the things i wrote kfjjfj but id say, the easiest was probably my first ever real fic, i.e. this hualian hurt/comfort fic where hc has a nightmare of the 100 swords scene. it was the first thing i wrote right after finishing reading tgcf and i wrote it all in one go and the dialogue & actions & characterization flowed so easily, i could picture the scene so easily in my head (which doesn't always happen for me). and writing hualian felt like the easiest thing in the world bc back in 2020 every little detail about them as characters and as a ship was imprinted in my mind so vividly... i miss those days 😔 my memory abilities have deteriorated since then

otherwise, iirc my first ever fengqing fic and my fenglian poem were also very easy to write

hardest fic: 😭😭 this could be so many of my fics tbh, there's so many i struggle so much with.. especially the unfinished wips, bc everything i actually posted means it wasn't the hardest, since i actually managed to finish them

but among my posted wips, i definitely struggled with the earlier chapters of my hualian fake dating au very badly at the earlier chapters and almost gave up on it which was why there was a 1-2 year gap btwn updates 😭😭 i actually went into a 1-2 year long burnout right after posting chap 1. luckily though, the most recent chapters got much better for me, finally reached a part of the story that's much easier and more fun to write (except that i wrote myself into a bit of a corner so ive been brainstorming how to get out of it). i just struggle a lot with multichaps bc my executive dysfunction issues make it very overwhelming for me to plot things. but im very determined to see this fic through to the end and finish my first ever multichap!

there's a lot more i struggled with - usually longer fics, fics for a new fandom (especially visual media fandoms. book/text-based fandoms are much easier bc you already have a canon peek into their character voice and narration style), non-canon ships that need a lot of wrangling to be believable, fics where i worry a lot about being ooc, fics that need action scenes or a real plot

the rest of the qns answered under the cut:

☉ what do you do when you get stuck writing?:

😭 it depends on why im stuck. i might ask someone for help w characterization. sometimes i just go for a jog/walk to clear my head and it works, otherwise if im rly stuck, especially plot-wise, I'll procrastinate and put the fic off for weeks/months

✄ what’s your editing process?

just rereading my own draft and rewriting or filling in the blanks where i feel like it can be better or is missing smth. i don't cut scenes often unless they're really bad. sometimes i rearrange entire paragraphs around to make them flow better

✎ how do you think readers would guess a fic was yours if you posted anonymously?

this is an apt question bc i have 2 anon fics rn and had a few in the past that i took off anon a couple of years later.. i think the easiest way to tell is my authors' notes. in both start & end notes i tend to yap + i usually apologize a lot in the start notes

besides that maybe fic titles (mitski). i think the genres and writing tone/vibe through my 50+ fics have varied a lot so i don't think that would be distinctive.. id be interested to hear if my writing style is distinctive bc i have no idea myself 🤔 i know i have some phrases i reuse across fics though (trying to work on that issue), and a bad habit of having long sentences sometimes (ive really been working on reducing this issue)

(send me an ask from the fic ask game part 1 or the fic ask game part 2)