#ive been on top of everything related to them since they came out so i have no idea how i missed the esports sprays 😔

[mothcon]

what the heck am i missing 😔 for reference, i dont have their comp weapons, or two (as far as i can see) esport sprays (how do we get those??? were they a drop that i missed???) but that would only make it 69/71 so WHAT am i missing. chat help me

[minhosimthings]

Dances Avec Les Etoiles ft. Heeseung - The Vows

Synopsis: God how boring is love? For Lee Heeseung, it was perhaps the most boring thing in this rotten world. But for his parents, it meant buisness. And buisness meant getting Heeseung married off to a princess from another kingdom. And when the princess shares a peculiar interest, Heeseung starts to believe in Cupid again.

Pairings: Prince!Heeseung × Princess!fem!reader

Warnings: literal fluff nothing else, vows and a wedding my baes!!!

A/N: I HAD to write a wedding scene like COME ON its a law in Mona town that you cannot not write a wedding scene. Also I wrote really sappy vows so sorry not really that @candewlsy babe your daddy papi is a lovesick daddy papi now hehe

Part 1 || Part 2 || The Wedding

The French Quotes Series Masterlist

Weddings were always thought to be pompous events, jewels, dresses, champagne, whose son married whose daughter, gold, silver, and most importantly first dances.

And Heeseung couldn't have been more impatient for his first dance than ever.

Although it wasn't his first dance with you, having danced with you with every passing second of time since your engagement was officially announced.

He had sneaked you out often to the western wing, much to the suffering of Sunoo who had to hear Heeseung's rants about how pretty you danced with him.

And now it was suddenly the wedding, how the time had passed so quickly, and how, now, you were all dolled up in your flowy wedding dress, with adornments on you, enough to last a time. But the thing that shone especially bright was the rose gold ring on your finger, which Heeseung had customised for you. A ballerina figure sat on top of the ring, a bit extra, but it was Heeseung, and you loved how he had your initials engraved on the ring.

And then there you were again, walking with slow, flickering footsteps down a carpeted aisle to Heeseung.

Your Heeseung.

Your dancing prince.

You had often heard of the notion that brides shouldn't ever cry on weddings, it was apparently bad luck.

But how could you have held yourself back? When your ears listened to the beautiful notes of Heeseung's voice reading his own, written vows, a first for Tarnow's royal weddings apparently. But how could he have not? His princess deserved more than poetry. Especially when vows weren't usually allowed for princesses so usually the groom had to take incharge of the "how much I love you" banter.

"Beautiful." Heeseung whispered to you as you stepped onto the pedestal, facing his handsome face, "You look beautiful."

"As do you, my prince."

The priest clearing his throat snapped Heeseung out of his daze, while he was staring at your exposed neck and collarbones, god he hoped he didn't have anything particularly visible.

"Right." Heeseung took a deep breath, and took his paper from a very sweaty Jay, who was looking at you with a "Thank you for falling in love with him" smile (as if he hadn't thanked you enough already).

"I-Im kind of bad at writing vows and everything. Not like I've written them before! Because I-Ive never been married before I mean-" Heeseung panicked, but immediately calmed down at seeing the smile on your face. You placed your hand on top of his, earning an "aww" from the guests and a smile from Heeseung, who took another deep breath and started.

"Princess Y/N of the Witchelm Kingdom." Of course the declarations had to be first, "Have you ever heard of the sentence, Dances avec les etoiles?"

His voice bought a blush to your face.

"It means to want to dance with stars. When I was forced to learn french at eight, I found out about this pretty poetic line, and I related to it greatly. A little too greatly perhaps, and I found myself dancing in the darkest corners of this palace every night. It gave me peace, a lot of peace, to see myself in a great big mirror and do what I could never do to the strangers in the outside world."

You swore you could see stars dancing around Heeseung.

"But then, you came into this thing I call my life, and for-for perhaps the first time, I felt complete. Yes, we may have bickered, too many times for your liking-" that incited a giggle out of you, "But even in that, even in your anger, I truly found beauty in its equality. And when you danced for the first time at the ball? Oh god I swear I could have ravaged the earth for you right there and then, my princess."

You could have done the same for him at that moment.

"I had always thought of love as an insignificant thing, who would crave for a mere emotion like that? But now I realise, that it the only emotion I am ever so starved of, and it is the only emotion I feel, every single time your light shines on mine.

God do you know how much you dance like a swan in the corners of my heart I thought were unreachable? Because you do, you truly do. If there were a hundred universes in this world, I swear to find you in each one, and have one last dance with you, one last sinful symphony if it's the final thing I do, if your face is the final thing I see, then darling consider me blessed in my choices and cursed in my rendezvous.

I-I would be the happiest man on earth, if I was to dance with you every second, if my hand were you rest on your waist and twirl you around every day, I would truly be happy, Y/N.

I would be dancing with you among the stars, so much that the planets themselves get jealous, that their astral ballet cannot compete with ours."

You truly never knew the dance of two souls could have been more prettier than Spanish flamenco. But now, as your lips moved in synchronisation with Heeseung's, the sweet venom injecting into your lovesick blood, his hand ghosting your waist, as if he was afraid to even break you, you truly knew what love was.

It was to match each other's feet in the mirror of a now renovated western wing, dedicated to dancing and only dancing.

It was to make fun of Heeseung's brothers for their terrible dancing skills (barring Jay).

It was to simply exist with Heeseung.

It was to dance among the stars with him, as the saying went,

Dances Avec Les Etoiles.

Taglist: @amazzwon @heeseungshim @kvmariii @mwahvvis @hottiewifeyyyy @sacrificeatmeup @perfectnighttt @yawnzzhoon @yungnorth

[memoirofasparklemuff1n]

no body, no crime chapter 1- back from the dead

summary: three years after your disappearance you return to the outer banks, only with no recollection of your time away. now that you're back, weird things start happening and everyone seems to be hiding secrets. the nightmare is far from over.

warnings: 18+ MDNI because of dark themes like mentions of murder, violence, possibly drugs, etc. swearing and possible sexual themes. guys, i'm gonna mark this as mature because there are still things from the story that i have no idea whether or not i'll include them. just know that if you aren't ok with topics related to crime then don't read it <3 take care of yourself first!! BTW rafe is the love interest so for obvious reasons he's included as a warning lmaooo

a/n: it's the first chapter so it's kind of boring but the next one i think will be better. alsooo my first language isn't english so bear with me, ok? i think i can handle myself pretty well but just in case. eeee i'm so excited for this story, it's been in my head for a while ever since i saw the announcement for gone girl (her other works are included as well) by @sematarygirls, like it's amazing. GO READ IT. I'M SO INTRIGUED. yes, i'm a groupie, sue me.

masterlist

okkk here we goooo.

Beep, beep, beep.

God, my back is killing me. Why is it so cold? Ugh, and what is that smell?

Beep, beep, beep.

I open my eyes and am greeted with a Styrofoam ceiling. What the fuck? I turn my head and see a heart monitor at my side.

Beep, beep, beep.

I lift my right arm, only to be held back by an IV.

Beep beep beep, beep beep beep, beep beep beep.

My heartbeat started to rise, the monitor starting to shriek. Why am I in the hospital? I try to sit up only to be met with dizziness and a headache.

Beep beep beep beep beep.

Oh my god, oh my god. Tears sprung to my eyes and I started to hyperventilate, but right when I was about to scream a nurse came rushing inside of the room.

“Honey, honey. Its ok. You’re ok.” She tried to soothe me, but I wasn’t having it. Why couldn’t I remember anything?

The beeping sound was beginning to drive me insane.

“Why am I here? What happened?” I asked.

“Honey, everything is fine. You’re just recovering, ok?” She looked at me with kind eyes, sort of like a motherly stare. “Take deep breaths, alright? I will explain everything, but I need you to remain calm. Can you do that for me?”

I did as she asked and nodded. She searched my face to see if I was better and when she seemed satisfied, she sat down.

“first of all, how are you feeling?” I’m freaking out here, that’s what.

“I feel dizzy and my head and back hurt a lot.” I closed my eyes because I was starting to get nauseous.

I heard her stand up, “I'll be right back, honey.”

I nodded but when I opened my eyes she was gone. As I waited, I looked around my hospital room. I saw a vase full of dying red and white roses with a “Get well soon!” Balloon attached on top of a desk and a small refrigerator under it. There was a windowsill with a recliner chair to its side with a brown woman’s bag sitting on it and a grey hoodie, like someone had stepped outside for a minute. The walls were light blue, almost white with generic paintings and a flatscreen tv, with a clock above it, perched on the one opposite of my bed. The room smelled of alcohol and medicine, with something else mixed that seemed to be characteristic of hospitals. I hated it.

I heard the door click open and a middle-aged doctor with greying hair stepped inside, alongside the nurse from earlier. She looked at me sympathetically while the doctor came to my side. His voice was deep when he spoke, “Hello, I’m Dr. Geller and I oversee your medical treatment. Can you tell me how you are feeling?”

I frowned, “Hi. Um, my head hurts and my entire body.”

He nodded, “That is to be expected of your condition.” I waited for him to elaborate but he began writing on a file I hadn’t noticed he’d brought in with him. “Ms. Clark, can you please give Ms. Gilbert her medication? The effects are wearing off.”

The nurse nodded and left only to return a minute later. She approached my IV silently, before injecting whatever it was into it. I assumed it was morphine or something. She smiled at me kindly, “you’ll be feeling better soon, dear.” I smiled and thanked her while she stepped aside to leave the doctor some space. I looked at her while the doctor kept writing and saw that she had a tattoo that I couldn’t quite distinguish on the inside of her wrist. Her hair was dark brown, falling on soft waves down to her shoulders. She couldn’t be more than 30, but there was a mature air to her that intrigued me.

Finally, Dr. Geller turned to me only to tell me that we should wait until my mother returned from wherever she had gone. That must’ve been her things on the recliner, then. I was beginning to feel drowsy from the medication, so I simply agreed and closed my eyes. I heard the doctor tell the nurse that they should leave me to rest and then the door close. Then it all went black.

I heard faint voices near me. My lids were heavy, so I just lay there listening.

“Mrs. Gilbert. You cannot take her home just yet. Her condition is very fragile still. She’s just been awoken from the induced coma; her body needs time to recover,” I realized it was Dr. Geller from earlier and he sounded frustrated.

A woman’s voice replied, “My daughter can continue her treatment from our home. You don’t understand, she’s still in danger and there’s not much I can do to protect her here.” Protect me? From what?

“Elaine, I understand your fears, but she needs to stay. If her condition were to complicate, we can help her here right away, whereas if she leaves, she won’t have the necessary resources at her disposal. It would not be right on my part nor recommended to allow her to go home. It puts her health at risk, her brain and body are still very fragile.”

“I can pay you anything to continue her treatment from our home, but I cannot allow her to disappear again,” the woman, my mother, started sobbing. Disappear? What the fuck is going on?

I was finally able to open my eyes, and I managed to speak, “Mom?”

“Oh honey!” She ran to my side and hugged me softly, careful not to pull the IV. Her tears spilled and wet my hospital robe. She pulled back to brush my hair out of my face, “how are you? I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’m tired and I have this horrible back pain. I feel like I’m 80,” I chuckled awkwardly. She laughed as well and kissed my forehead, “I missed your stupid jokes during serious times.”

“Ms. Gilbert. I have a few questions for you,” the doctor interrupted something else my mother was going to say. She stepped back to allow him to come into my view.  He looked tired, dark circles under his eyes and what seemed like a permanent sour expression on his face, aggravated by my mom’s nagging.

“Can you tell me your first and last name?”

I nodded, “Y/n gilbert.”

“Your date of birth?”

“Your birthday, 2003.”

“Can you tell me what year it is?”

“Um, 2022?” He frowned and I saw my mother and him share a glance.

“Do you have any recollection of the events that led to your current state?” His eyes scanned my face in search of something, though I couldn’t think of what.

“I don’t, but it must’ve been tough for how recked I feel,” I chuckle but they don’t reciprocate my attempt at lightening the mood. Gosh, why are they so sullen?

“Do you remember anything prior to your waking up?” I racked my brain for a quick answer.

“Well, the last thing I remember was going to the beach with my friends.” I really don’t know, it’s just the first thing that popped into my head and all this questioning was beginning to bother me.

“Do you remember what day it was?” He narrowed his eyes in suspicion. God, dude lay off.

“Um, no?”

“Do you remember which friends?”

I sighed and said the first names that popped into my head, “Sarah and Kiara?”

“Anybody else?” Dude.

“No, sir.” He seemed like he wanted to ask more so I just said my head was starting to feel foggy.

“Alright, I’ll leave you to rest.” He turned to my mom and said, “Could you accompany me outside?”

She glanced at me to see if I was good with that and I nodded, “I’m ok, go.”

She smiled softly and leaned down to kiss my forehead, “I’ll be right back.”

“Ok.”

As soon as they left, I relaxed. I tried to come up with more memories but their voices outside distracted me.

My mom spoke first, “She said it was 2022. She doesn’t remember anything from the past three years. Is that possible?” Three years? It was 2025?

The doctor sighed, “Temporary memory loss and mental fogginess are possible when a patient has a third-degree concussion. It is important to remember that the events of these past three years have been very traumatic. Therefore, her brain might have blocked said memories to protect itself. We must give her time to recover, which is why I recommend she stays until her condition is stable enough to return home.”

I heard my mother sigh, “alright, but I should call the police now that she is awake. They can send someone to guard her.” The police? Alright, maybe this is just a fever dream because nothing makes sense.

“Yes, you should let them know, but I wouldn’t suggest they question her yet. It might make her anxious and affect her progress. Patients in these circumstances need to be in a peaceful environment to heal.” His tone left no space for discussion.

My mom sighed and agreed. I heard her thank him and she came back inside. I closed my eyes quickly and pretended to be asleep. I really didn’t want to face scrutiny right now, much less her hovering. I felt her looking at me and then heard her sit down on what must’ve been the recliner chair. I opened my eyes slightly and I see that she is typing rapidly on her phone, only to be followed by a buzz. That continues for a while until she looks at the clock on top of the tv and mutters something to herself. She then got up and went to what I could only assume was the bathroom. I heard the faint noise of the faucet and slowly started drifting to sleep.

“How do you like it?” I turn and see my mom standing behind me at the door of my bedroom. I figured she’d changed something while I was gone so I said, “its really nice, mom. Thanks.”

I could tell she didn’t quite believe me but ignored it. She set my bags on the ground with a small smile, “I’m so happy you’re back. We’ve all missed you so much.” I assumed she meant my dad and my sister. She is 18 now. She’d been 15 when I left disappeared.

“I missed you guys too.” She hugged me, careful not to hurt me as I was still a bit injured from the accident.

She stepped back and rested her hands on my shoulders, “I just want you to know that I am here for you. All of us, ok?”

I nodded and smiled softly, “I know, Mom. It’s going to be ok, don’t worry.” My words felt hollow because everything about this place wasn’t ok. I felt weird, like I didn’t belong.

“Alright, honey. I’ll leave you to settle in, I’m sure this is all very overwhelming. Your father will be home tomorrow from his business trip and Eleanor is out with Wheezie. She’ll be home later I assume.” I was a bit relieved at being practically alone in the house. My mother was more than enough to manage and at least I’d be able to craft possible answers that would get me the least number of questions.

“That’s ok, thanks mom.” She took that as her cue to leave so she nodded and closed the door behind her.

I sighed, “finally.” I was now able to get a clear view of my new living situation. The bedroom was huge, like everything in figure 8 seemed. The walls were white, which added to the expansiveness of the room. The golden bed frame with dark green sheets was pushed against the far-left corner of the room, leaving a clear view of the door, while opposite it was a wall with a built-in dark wooden bookshelf. It had a moving stair and all. Christ, talk about over the top.

Next to the bed was a window seat with frilly white curtains and dark red cushions on the seat that I normally wouldn’t prefer with the green from the bed, yet somehow managed to look cohesive. The dresser was beside me, next to the door and next to it was a small vanity with perfumes, makeup and jewelry. It was all very tasteful, and I surprisingly liked it. Next to the wall with the bookshelf was an entryway and when I stepped through, I saw it was a walk-in closet to my right and to the left a bathroom. I really wanted to check out the closet, but I really wanted to shower so I undressed and walked into the bathroom. It wasn’t very big, but it wasn’t small either. The walls had a beautiful forest mural, and the golden framed mirror faced the door. The faucet was a bird with clear knobs that matched with the mirror and candle sticks attached to the wall. The basin was set on dark green marble top and the cabinet underneath the same dark wood that was in the rest of the bedroom. I saw that inside the shower was a small shelf with shampoo and soap, so I opened the glass door and read the labels. Vanilla scented, huh. Whatever, I guess. I then turned on the water and let my muscles relax. It felt so good and when I started washing my hair, I realized the smell wasn’t overpowering. It was like a mix of caramel and chocolate underlying the vanilla scent. It made me hungry, fuck. I really didn’t want to go back downstairs under my mother’s hovering. After finishing, I went to the closet and turned on the light. Holy shit. It was every girl’s dream. Boots, sneakers, heels, sandals, you name it, lined the opposite wall of me. And to my left, well, dresses and bags of all different shapes and sizes. Jeans were next, with hoodies, and fancy shirts and pants, though they weren’t what I wanted to wear right now so I figured the comfortable clothes were in the dresser. I was proved right and settled for grey sweats and a matching top. I went back to the closet and found a pair of slippers, so I put them on and went outside, with my hair wrapped in a towel.

The smell of food immediately invaded my nostrils, and I felt like one of those cartoons that float when they smell something good. In the kitchen was my mother steering something on the stove and sitting on the seats by the island were two girls. They were all in deep conversation, so they didn’t notice me standing there awkwardly. I contemplated turning around and heading back upstairs but my stomach growled as if in protest. Traitor.

They turned and fell silent when they saw me. One of them had a face that was like my mom’s with her same-colored hair and skin tone and the other had dark hair and glasses with pale skin. Eleanor and Wheezie.

Eleanor stood up and ran towards me, engulfing me in a hug that caught me by surprise. After a second, I hugged her back and smelled the same scent in which I had bathed. She must have picked them out then. She then started shaking and I realized she was crying. My eyes welled up and I held her tighter to me.

“Hey, its ok.” I ran my fingers through her hair.

“I missed you so much, I thought I’d lost you,” her voice was muffled by my shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” I honestly did not know what else to say and I realized it was the best I could come up with to explain how I felt. I somehow could not shake that this was all my fault.

As if she read my thoughts, she lifted her head and frowned, “Don’t apologize, it’s not your fault.”

My mother interrupted before I could respond, “Honey, are you hungry? I made your favorite.” Which was?

“Yeah, I could eat,” I laughed when my stomach growled again. Eleanor let me go but took my hand as if afraid I might disappear again. I sat down next to her as my mom served us. I thanked her and started eating. God, it was so good. I could see why it was my favorite.

“Oh, this is Wheezie. Sarah’s little sister.” I looked up and smiled at her.

“Hey, how’s it going?” Now that I was closer, I could see the similarities with her sister, specifically her eyes.

She smiled at me shyly, “I’m good. How are you?” No fucking clue.

“I’m alright, tired mostly. How’s school?” I attempted to shift the conversation away from me and I could tell she noticed.

“Meh. At least its our final year and then we’re off to college.”

“College? Already?” I looked at my mom and she lowered her gaze, avoiding mine.

Eleanor spoke softly, “Yeah, you were gone awhile.” Right.

I stared at my plate in silence, feeling sick. The kitchen suddenly felt too hot, and my clothes were too close to my skin and my heart started beating rapidly, overcoming any other sound. My mom noticed and hurried to my side, lifting me up and catching me when my legs gave out.

And then everything went black.

dividers by: @yeossemble tyyyy

if anyone wants to be tagged lmk <3

also why is tumblr low-key a pain in the ass to write in? holy shit man.

[redactahoe]

old friends die hard pt. 1

A/N: heeey so ive been working on this for awhile and am so glad the first part is done.

summary: for the past 6 months treasure has been… off. Porter didn’t know how to describe it but something was going on with his favorite human and he didn’t know how to help. The last time they talked was 3 weeks ago and since then they haven’t been answering his call. So porter decided the next best thing was to drop by unannounced.

Tw//: talk of missing memories and nighmares (kinda), porter is so soft for them its not even funny, this is also in the not so distant future where porter and treasure is an establish relationship, cussing, treasure yells like once

codes: (T/N) = treasure's name and (D/N) = darlin's name

The first but last thing Porter had expected to see when entering his human’s apartment was the living room to be void of all light save for the glow of his treasures laptop screen. Open and set in their lap as they sat on the couch, a weighted blanket resting on their shoulders as the skrunkly little cat they found on the street a month ago slept behind them on the back of the couch. a forgotten bowl of what he can assume is some form of soup sitting on the coffee table along with a half empty mug of tea in front of them. 

Glancing at his watch as he walked closer to the couch, it read 3:30 AM. his gaze lifts back up to get a better look at treasure's face. Their usual dark circles under their eyes somehow had gotten darker since the last time he had seen them. Their eyebrows were scrunched up in a mix of frustration and concentration, lips pressed into a deep frown.

“Treasure, when's the last time you've actually gone to sleep and had a proper meal?” Porter asked, having a feeling that the answer wasn’t going to be anything he liked.

“I don’t need to sleep right now.” they frustratedly almost angrily mumbled out.

“(T/N) im being serious…” Porter came closer, leaning over the couch and careful no to disturb the sleeping feline. He noticed that There were several pictures strewn across the couch and coffee table, some were in frames and some weren’t.

The picture propped up against treasure’s computer was of a tiny 10 year old treasure, In the front yard of what could be assumed to be their childhood home. They were lying on top and wrestling with another kid, pulling a smile onto the kids cheeks as they tried to push (T/N) off of them, clearly enjoying themselves. Porter immediately recognized that kid as (D/N) or Tank, Sam's mate and the wolf from the Shaw pack.

Porter picked up the picture to get a closer look “did you know them, treasure?”

“I DON’T KNOW!” treasured screamed out and through their hands up in exasperation before dropping them to bury their face in them, digging their palms into their sockets. They were both silent for a minute before (T/N) finally spoke up in a quiet and defeated tone.

“.... I'm sorry i yelled at you, it's just- I've been so stressed and so confused lately. It's been driving me nuts!” their hand moved to hold the side of their hand while the other stayed to rub the exhaustion out of their eyes.

“What's going on my love?” Porter's voice dropped to a low concern as he rubbed his treasures shoulders trying to sooth them as best as he could.

“Sigh, recently I've started to have these…. I don’t know how to describe it but every time i close my eyes I see them” treasure waving their hand in the vague direction of the childhood photo.

“But there's always something wrong with them, with their voice, with their face.” “Their face is always blurred out and their voice is always distorted.” “It feels more like someone tried editing them and everything related to them out of my head more than me just forgetting them or not knowing them.”

“How long has this been happening?” Now the porter was really concerned, It sounded like a memory wipe done by the department was wearing off. He’s heard of it before, it was a rare phenomenon that happened to the unempowered that were wiped but re-exposed to the empowered. It didn't happen often but when it didn’t it never ended well for the unempowered in this situation, in the three recorded cases the department has published it always ended in insanity and a trip to and a permanent stay to grippy sock land or the psych ward for those who are boring out there. 

“Ever since I met you”

“What was that?” 

Treasure threw their head back in exasperation “ever since i met you.” they said a little louder, they didn’t want Porter to think that he was at fault for their dilemma. It wasn’t, it never was, it's just that ever since they've known him their memory started acting up. It's like he jumped started buried memories to start resurfacing.

“But if it's been happening for that long then why is it now becoming a problem?” Porter on the other hand was more concerned about the fact this has been happening for a better part of a year now and (T/N) hasn’t said anything about up until now.

“ because only recently have the faces started to clear up, only recently have I've been able to make out any sort of facial features! And when I was able to see a face it sparked even more memory and caused me to rip apart my closet to find these pictures to make sure I wasn't going crazy.” “I can recognize the faces as someone i knew, someone i cared about but their voice and more importantly their name i can't get down, so I've been trying to find a solution but i keep running into dead ends.” (T/N) gestures to the laptop for Porter to take a look and well.. It was nothing but some Pseudoscience bullshit about crystals and shit that would most definitely wouldn’t help.

“Okay, your-” porter stops speaking for a second to shut the laptop before continuing “-going to get up and go shower while I am going to clean up and make you something proper to eat.”

“But-”

“No buts, go.” This was not something porter was going to debate with the human at all. 

So with the end of that ‘argument’ (T/N) got up, stretched(much like a cat, porter would like to add) and padded off to their apartment's shower, their fluffy companion following soon after.

As soon as his treasure was out of ear shot, porter pulled out his phone to call the only person he knew who could possibly help.

[cat3ch1sm]

haii!! i totally get not having any inspo, and my request is kind of (?) niche?? but i was wondering if you had any headcanons about ging freecss, if not kite is also soo babygirl :3 !!!

🌿~ this request is so funny for no reason help me. ive decided to write headcanons about the both of them for this one so enjoy lol :) @ging-pegger the kite im writing about is pre-reincarnation kite btw!

these r just silly random hcs abt the two of them so nothing heavy or anything

🤍𓆩♡𓆪🌲no warnings!

𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐤𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

ging and kite both have the most deviously demonic side eyes of all time for literally no reason. kite doesn’t even realize he does it but ging does it very intentionally

ging mostly didn’t show up to zodiac meetings or other business events mainly because he’s kinda shy, not because he’s irresponsible or lazy

ging is always pissing someone off. usually it’s on purpose. this is canon

during the chimera ant arc kite let gon braid his hair at one point and didn’t take it out for like a week

kite kept getting asked around that same time if he and killua were related because of the hair mainly, but he got really annoyed with it so he just started saying yes

kite used to use the top of ging’s head as an armrest just because he’s tall and ging is short and it would piss ging off so bad

kite got along well with old ladies for some reason. they always told him he’s too skinny and offer him food and he just took it.

also little kids and babies really liked kite. even though he’s deathly thin and has awful dark circles they are inexplicably attracted to him. kite used to avoid them because the toddlers kept trying to climb his legs and would pull on his hair, but later he warmed up to them and started going out of his way to be kind to them. but he only really likes old women and little kids and that’s all

ging hates kids and kids hate ging. that’s it that’s the headcanon

ging is one of those people who is just always in the most random places. imagine you text him or something after not hearing from him for like an hour and he just sends you back a picture of him in some obscure location all the way across the planet. nobody knows how, when, or why he got there but there he is

kite never killed any insect he came across. he has a lot of sympathy for animals and non-human creatures. with the exception of the obvious chimera ants. he would see a snail or something and move out of its way but then ging swoops in seconds later and dropkicks it

ging for whatever reason gets a lot of women. literally no idea why he just has this charm and spontaneous air that attracts people to him. but you definitely don’t want to start anything with him because as it literally goes in the story he just fucks and leaves

kite used to be really into painting and was weirdly good at it despite never actually receiving any lessons. he loved to paint scenery mostly involving water

kite’s hair has pretty much been the length it is in the chimera ant arc since he was like 10. he used to have a problem tripping over it but when he hit his growth spurt it stopped becoming a problem

ging never had an awkward phase growing up. one day he was a little kid and the next day he was a whole man. just like that for no reason

ging likes to turn on shows he knows he doesn’t like just to yell at the television and criticize everything the characters do the whole time

at one point during ging’s time with the zodiacs the public started a rumor that he and pariston were an item and once it reached the zodiacs ging didn’t show up to a single meeting for a month

same thing happened a little bit later except it was cheadle with ging instead and then ging disappeared for like three months

[sigmabateman]

thank you so much @velvetcrowbar444 for tagging me to talk about 5 things im obsessed with at the moment!!

this got longer than i anticipated so im putting it under the cut, but for simplicity's sake i'll tag people up here: @nights-decay, @boycentriccplot, @flaming-tsunami, @sourgelatin no pressure though of course!

persona 5... ok i have to be honest ive been really reluctant to talk about this on here and its why ive been quiet the past at least week or so. no idea why. i guess cause its so different from the stuff i usually post about that i feel like, embarrassed? but i started playing persona 5 royal around may and really liked it but i didnt have the time to properly get into it until now and it has completely taken over my life entirely without me even realising. to be honest i could obsess over like a rock on the ground if i saw it at the right time in my life but hands down persona 5 is one the best if not the best game ive ever played in my life. the story is engaging, the characters are distinctive and realistic and i really really care about all of them, the gameplay is so much fun and combat is buttery fucking smooth like nothing ive ever played before, the music is top tier and what got me interested in the game in the first place, and the ART DIRECTION. it speaks for itself to be honest ESPECIALLY compared to the older games. i was shocked starting persona 4 because of how different it is to persona 5 like, persona 5 has SUCH a distinct visual identity as well as tone, themes, imagery etc it is all just so stunning and perfect and i want to live in it. but i think about it so often like literally 24/7 that i may as well be. i <3 persona 5 and i <3 YUSUKE KITAGAWA. he's definitely my favourite character and he came out of NOWHERE but hes actually everything in the world to me. one of the characters ever.

persona 4 is it a copout to say that? i did try and condense both games into one bullet point but 1. they're such a mainstay in my life right now i was struggling to think of more points and 2. it kind of lost its precision and didn't effectively convey just how personapilled i am right now. i originally wasn't gonna play 4, all i knew is that it was more difficult and less good so i thought i should stay away. but if you go anywhere persona-related on the internet (which i would warn against, the fandom is a fucking cesspit the likes of which i havent seen in a long time as an obscure-shit-enjoyer) you'll quickly run into adachi. and as a lover of men with high-pitched voices and sexypedia entries... i couldn't stay away. before even starting the game i had made a d6 and d20 with different adachis on each face so really it was just a matter of time. and you know what... it's not that bad. the graphics were a SHOCKING step down but i find the low(er) poly style really charming. the adachi model is too cute T_T whenever i see it in the game world i just wanna sit with it for ages. i wonder if i could get it like 3d printed so i could keep him on my desk with me at all times... its bad for me ! the combat is fucking clunky espeically compared to 5 and i kind of hate it but that just makes it more rewarding when i can finally stop LOL. some of the characters (especially the main few (yosuke, chie, yukiko)) took a bit to grow on me but its kind of sweet.. its like authentic.. our relationship is growing as i get to know them better... but dojima and nanako ive loved since i first set eyes on them. too cute. it makes me feel so fatherless. its like.. a lot more magnetic than i expected it to be. i love it even with all its flaws. i saw a meme about it being like twin peaks and thats kind of so real. and you know i love a murder mystery... so yeah tldr i like persona now. but its hard to talk about it on here because it is such a big fandom but not like an active one like spiderman or like good omens or whatever slightly more normal people are watching so its kind of intimidating. maybe ill get over myself, maybe ill go silent for 3 months until i get into something new. we'll see i guess LOL

my gender identity TUMBLR MOMENT I KNOW but i dont know.. ive had a lot of time to myself recently and its kind of brought things to the surface that i just didnt have time or space to think about before. turns out there was a LOT OF STUFF i was repressing without even knowing. like that tweet 'im probably nonbinary but i have a job so idrc about that rn'. i posted on instagram "gender around cis people: boy, gender around trans people: girlboy, gender by myself: computer program" and that kind of sums it up i think. can i coin like.. complicatedgender. where your answer to the question "whats your gender?" is "it's complicated..." cause thats me. its just COMPLICATED okay!!!! but my pronouns havent changed or anything so its chilllllll

going to bed at a reasonable time. i phrased that like a joke answer but its true. i downloaded pokemon sleep and now i go to bed at 11:30pm cause at 11 i get a notification saying my pokemon are sleepy and shit i gotta take care of my pokemon!! i dont even know if its doing me any good to be honest like i dont feel much better when i wake up but making myself get into bed and shut my eyes means more thinking time and to be honest my favourite activity is thinking. even if as silly as it sounds i never give myself time to do it. its playing a weirdly big role in my life rn so yeah id say im obsessed with it!!!

this asmr video. im secretly always posting about asmr so really i could just say that, but like, ASMR | The Mortician (No Talking – You're Dead) specifically is such a mainstay i can feel its influence seeping into my life like an infection. this video would actually show up in my recommended for YEARS but i never watched it. gave me a major ick for some reason. but then i got into this guys stuff and saw it again and thought id give it a go and now its like an extra limb. fuck my 3rd bullet point, this is my gender identity. i could not articulate in words what it is about the mortician that i love so much, but i really really do. i am certifiably obsessed. cant believe i made it through this whole thing without mentioning alex. but there you are. yay this was fun :D

[tarysande]

Can I ask, how does one go about becoming an editor? Like, where do you apply for jobs?? What kinda training do you do?? Are there companies that hire out editors to writers? Im just so confused about it. Ive always been interested in editing, and am considering doing it as a job

Editing is a weird career.

Really, I started as a writer. Like, when I was eleven. In jr. high and high school, I was in a writing critique group and I wrote a lot. I graduated from university with a degree in theatre, film, and creative writing. I was often the person my friends came to when they needed help with a paper (or the correct placement of a semicolon). I've been involved in fandom since I was about 17, and I was very fortunate to fall in with a group of excellent writers who were also excellent betas and editors. I learned a TON from them without realizing how much I was learning.

I started editing by accident, really. Sometimes, that's how it happens. I mostly got gigs here and there through friends or word of mouth. About ten years ago, I got more serious about it. I worked for companies that paid horribly. Then I did an editing test for a company that paid less horribly, and they hired me. After a couple of years editing countless academic papers, ESL academic papers, novels, emails, business documents, etc., I decided to branch out on my own (mostly so I could work on more fiction; I was burned out on academic papers).

I joined Editors Canada, started volunteering with them, got a lot more experience, and took a few continuing ed courses to gauge where my skills were at and to determine if I needed to upgrade my education. I decided I didn't need to do that, because I already knew the things I was being taught.

I read a lot of books on editing, writing, and craft. I familiarized myself with the Chicago Manual of Style, APA, MLA, and a couple of other style guides. I learned the differences in spelling, punctuation, and style between US, UK, and Canadian English. I went to webinars, conferences, and courses (all the major editing associations offer these, usually cheaper or free for members; they are a great way to determine what kinds of editing you actually LIKE). I learned the difference between rules and preferences, and when to apply them to a text.

I work freelance, which means I have my own business as a sole proprietor. I'm a contractor with a couple of companies who sometimes send work my way, but most of my clients are individual writers planning to either self-publish or polish their work before seeking traditional publication via the agent/tradpub route.

Freelancing has many perks but is not particularly secure. Especially if you're American and need an employer to provide health insurance, or if you're single and don't have another income to lean on when contracts are scarce. These days, most of my work comes via referrals, my website, or the listing I have in the Editors Canada directory. I follow a couple of editing-related Facebook groups; I've learned a lot there, and I've also picked up the occasional client. A couple of people have found me through LinkedIn. A couple of people have found me through here!

I've never worked in-house for a publisher--mostly because having control over how many hours I work and when I work them is my top priority. In-house is a whole different ballgame; I know a bit about it from my peers, but I don't have firsthand experience to pass on. These jobs are supposedly more secure--and they tend to be salaried, with benefits, etc.

"Editing" is a GIANT umbrella term. There are SO many types of editing out there. People tend to think of book publishing first, but that's only one avenue. There are also different kinds of editors who tackle different types of problems. I've done enough of everything to recognize that I am much happier when I'm working on big picture stuff--coaching, developmental editing, manuscript critique. Others specialize in the nitty gritty mechanical details that make proofreading or copy editing a better fit.

Right now, the bulk of my work life is actually spent ghostwriting. The client's business-materials editor posted that his client was looking for someone to help with characterization in a novel. I ended up winning that contract. He came to me with one monster book. I helped him realize it needed to be at least a trilogy, and now he has plans for a ten-book series--and I'm helping write it. But I got the job because of the work I've done on the development side of editing--and because I've spent SO MUCH TIME learning about characterization (via acting, fandom/writing fanfic, reading, etc.). So. It all feeds into the same place.

The tl;dr is that my experience has been a bizarre mix of being in the right place at the right time, ongoing professional development, and learning the value of volunteering with an association. If I were starting down this career path right now, I'd probably do an editing certificate (there are many out there, depending on country). I'd definitely join an association sooner (even as a student member) and volunteer.

Actually, the ultimate tl;dr is ... this industry IS CONFUSING. So, don't feel bad about being confused. It's actually probably about eight different kinds of job wearing a trench-coat and pretending it's something called "Editing."

[pictureamoebae]

hi there! ive been meaning to see how certain shaders alter this specific preset im using, but since there are so many, i have a hard time knowing how the order should go. i found an answer from u abt load order from two years ago, but i wonder if that has changed with recent reshade updates. any help is appreciated! thank u<3

Hi there!

Load order is such a big topic! There are some golden rules you should always try to abide by, and then everything else is just personal preference.

MXAO should go at the top. Then other depth effects like SSR, Adaptive Fog, Depth Haze, RadiantGI etc.

Next comes SMAA/FXAA, followed by any sharpening. I usually keep DoF below SMAA even though it's a depth effect, because it seems to perform better with jaggies that way, but you can experiment a bit with that. I also put the Flashlight shader above DoF because otherwise it can cause a bit of weirdness in the blurred areas.

DoF is a big one to get right. Some shaders can look really messed up in blurred areas if DoF is in the wrong place. The above placement seems to work best in my experience. But there are always other shaders I've never used that you might stumble upon that you have to just test and see how they work. Just try and remember, if something looks weird in blurred areas, try moving it in relation to the DoF shader and see what happens.

At the very bottom should come any film grain shaders, and just above that the Deband/Debanding shaders. Don't put Deband below film grain shaders or it'll ruin the grain pattern.

Everything in the middle of those top and bottom sections is pretty much personal preference. I see a lot of people say bloom shaders (including Ambient Light) should go above any kind of colour correction or colour grading shaders so that the colour grading applies to the bloom. Personally I don't think it matters a huge amount, I've done both before, although that is the way I'm favouring at the moment.

If you use more than one bloom shader you'll notice a difference when you move them up or down the load order amongst themselves as they react with one another. Again, that's entirely down to personal preference and what looks best with your preset.

Then we come to the various colour grading shaders and light/contrast shaders. This is where it's really, really all about trial and error. There's no correct answer, it's all about what looks best with the settings you've chosen. You don't have to stick with a specific load order for them. I often swap things around a bit if it looks better in particular lighting/weather conditions.

If you have Prod80's shader pack installed you'll see the shaders come prefixed in the shader list with numbers. That's the general order he suggests they go in. If you take a look at that it can give you an idea of which shaders often work best in what order. But again, especially for colour grading and light/contrast shaders it really is whatever works best for you!

It is really overwhelming, especially now there are hundreds of shaders. When I started with SweetFX (which came before ReShade), and then early ReShade, there were far fewer shaders. You could still get stunning results. For someone starting out who wants to learn all about how ReShade works and how to tweak shaders and get them working well together it would probably be a good idea to only have the standard and SweetFX shaders installed, and maybe the Legacy shaders too. You'll have less choice, but you also won't be as overwhelmed. Early SweetFX and ReShade presets were pretty much exclusively made with the backbone of Levels, Curves, LiftGammaGain, and Tonemap, with the odd bit of DPX, HDR and BloomandLensFlares thrown in. They're really simple and basic shaders but you can achieve a lot with them.

[wildandmoody]

Seriously the way the press starting doing a complete 180 on him into Tabloid Hell post-Thriller is just so convenient. I mean before they were praising him for being a goody two-shoes, looking and dressing modestly, and generally were fine with cornering his music into the Black music market only. But once he reinvented the short film/music video as a medium AND pushed and pushed until he was the first Black artist to be featured and circulated on MTV (and I'm certain similar music channels around the world), starting breaking chart records that only white artists had held, and had a truly universal appeal by the time he started touring for Bad, all of a sudden up jumped the bullshit.

Suddenly here came the same "he's gay/childish/virginal" fingerpointing that he had to address since fucking 1976. Here comes "he's a deviant ew" just because he started dancing and dressing more provocatively in 1987 as if musicians that same decade and before weren't also wearing buckles, O-rings and shin guards and doing god knows what on stage. By the time he spoke up about having vitiligo universalis it was too late and ppl were already saying he wanted to be white and thought he was lying. To this day ppl think that including a lot of fellow Black ppl despite his autopsy report and plenty of pics of brown flecks and spots on his skin being available. Suddenly it's "he's weirdly obsessed with kids" when he had been donating his concert proceeds directly to and visiting orphanages and hospitals since he himself was a CHILD in the jackson 5 days, and literal radio silence on campaigns he directly funded for mandela's anti-apartheid campaign, AIDS research, women's rights, gang-related issues and hundreds of other causes. And that's just on the causes that i can think of off the top of my head that we know about, because he also gave millions of dollars anonymously and directly supported many individuals by buying food and appliances and covering travel costs for them. Radio silence from the news and gp.

Andthe most damning of all as far as I'm concerned is the fact that he swallowed his pride and gave up on his Reclusive Image in the 2000s specifically so that he could call out the racist soul-crushing tendencies of the music industry, in particular Tom Motolla and Sony as a whole, and how it affected him and his Black peers. Which of course media tried to spin as a personal beef and not a race-related one. THE EXACT DAY that he was set to release one last compilation album for them and finally walk free while owning 50% of their publishings and all of his own masters (and the masters of older Black artists which he sold back to them for $1) ,and free of an oppressive music deal, up jump the allegations and now he had to fly his ass to LA to get both of his shoulders dislocated and get manhandled by the LAPD. The same day. How fucking convenient.

And look. This is not me saying that what happened to Michael was a pattern. It most certainly was not and there are plenty of truly dangerous men in power, this is a fact. I am not trying to circulate conspiracy theories but i am pointing out the shit that happened to him because of the target painted on his back. What i say in defense of Michael Jackson i say in confidence because at one point I had read every transcript , testimony, legal document available including his autopsy not because i liked him but because i needed to truly understand what the hell was going on. And ive read old newspapers and tabloids that covered him and they treated this man worse than an animal just based on how he presented himself alone. Matter of fact the name "Jacko" stems from an old British slang name for a dancing and singing boxing monkey that was popular in the 19th century, so that was based in racism too. It's just rhe Everything. And I'm also not saying that he never made mistakes or was a human person. He didn't really seem to be able to always surround himself with and trust the right people. But man oh man. Oh the Convenience.

[neeko-system]

long post inc.

ok so im working on this world called “nevermore”. its a world mostly made for a TTRPG system im working on. its a fairy tale storybook world thats very thematically dense. like, the whole idea of it is everything that exists in the reality serves a narrative purpose to some unseen theme “beyond” the page of the world.

it deals with a lot of themes of mental illness and identity struggles and the changes that people go through in life. theres a big focus on journeys and road trips and the things and lengths people go to to achieve some sort of change, physically, mentally, socially, etc.

family is another big theme. a big element of the gameplay/story is about the people you surround yourself with. the people that you take with you/meet on journeys whether physical or mental. the people you live with on these journeys and how you change as a result of being around them. what its like to share space with other people and what not. lots about friends and found family and loss of family (death, trauma, complications, falling outs) the world exists physically and yet it doesnt exist anywhere. nevermore is a place but its also more of an idea. its a kind of fantasy world that is about facing hardships rather than running away from them. its the dark forests that are comforting. its knowingly being lost yet always finding your way. falling into rhythm with the world and following the paths it gives you, not necessarily out of love but out of a caring interest.

the forests of nevermore are nature itself. mountains, plains, the woods, the creek. any hike you’ve ever done in your area. any camping, backpacking. being under the stars. it’s small rural villages where everyone knows each other and everyone just hangs out and vibes and fends off the beasts of the horrors:tm:(its a nightly thing)

its staying up late at night with your friend thats having a panic attack. its being stuck far up a hill and your ankle is injured. its trying to figure out what you’re going to eat tonight. its existing on the outskirts of civilization, socially and physically. its the balancing act of caring for your own mental burden and helping those around you, the latter taking importance over the former.

nevermore is a mystical world painted with every color of the rainbow, drawn on black paper. its a childish rejection of adult society struggling with the same human problems. its young and naive and curious and hurt and comforted.

its about me. its about everyone. its about being human. its about gender. its about love and loss. in that order.

everyone is obsessed about something

ive also made a lot of art of it pls take a look >.>

this was one of the first pieces of art i made for it. (might have been the first) i was basically just putting to image some ideas i had about creatures id make in a fairy tale setting. one thats more about the creatures and less ab out the humans in the creature world. (humans as creatures or something idk)

starting left then going right

the faerrin (far left) was one of the first and strongest ideas i had. obviously fairys being in a faery tale world is not new (its like, in the name) but it was more about their role/space in the world. as it relates to self expression and identity, the faerrin are child-like and naiive but deeply curious. they have a child like cuiousity about the world surrounding them and are always exploring everything and anything they can. i like the approach of bug-like fairy so the faerrin have membranous bug wings and insect like body/limbs. they have horns that curve down like hair (that didnt come until later) and antennae that stick out the top of their head. faerrin are generally named for pretty, natural things that grow on the ground. plants, flowers, vegetables.

the next strongest were the glüm. the name came later but since the beginning of nevermore i had the idea of the faeries, then dark ink feathered bird creatures that were gangly and grotesque and foul. the image on the bottom left got it pretty succinctly for me. they’re short, with long pointed horns and dark ink black feathers and beak. they wear their wings around them like a big springy coat that sways up and down as they move. they also project a colorful miasma around them that kinda obscures them and makes them blend into the colors around them. their bodies are grossly disfigured and gangy and their claws are sharp and wicked. they repeat sounds and things people say in distorted and crackly voices. they’re obsessively clean and insanely normal.

next was the gargin who i was still figuring out at the time. the original idea about them was they were big stone gargoyle like beings that were protective and mournful. i then had the idea of them being trees instead, but the name stuck. eventually i landed on them being golems made of logs and sticks with large butterfly wings protruding from the back. they’re obsessed with knowledge as a tool and constantly forget whatever they’re thinking about. they’re autism robots but like wood elementals that like helping people with all the things they figure out. but also mourning everything they forget as if the memory had died with them.

the next one was another exploration of the glum but with them having a large projected shadow around them. i like the idea but not sure what to do with it.

then the last in frame drawing was of a zull. now the zull are actually a different creature i pulled in from another world i made. its too long of a story for this but basically they’re “soulless beings.” stylistically the zull are -completely white all over to a out of place degree -varying in size and limb count/face count/head count. some have multiple faces, 3 arms 4 legs, 3 fingers on each hand, two heads, etc. -and they’re mannequin like. staring, creepy, almost human yet somethings off. uncanny valley but less for humans and more just what constitutes as “alive.” they’re a combination of a few ideas and themes important to me but importantly they’re representative of angry melancholy. they’re angry about being alive, but dont want to die. they exist in a constant state of “would rather not exist” than anything else. (do not diagnose me i am mentally CHILL not mentally ILL)

it takes a lot of “mechanical” inspiration from the heart: the city beneath, electric bastionland, and lots of pretty exploration games i played growing up. ori and the blind forest notably. pyre by supergiant games (this one is the biggest inspiration offender(the whole idea of a road trip rpg system came to me because i love this game so much.))(also visually and thematically) if you’ve ever seen the movie 9 holy shit that movie fucked me up but also this game is like that

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh’

i’ll probbaly post more about it and post mroe art cause i have a lot to share pleading emoji pointing left pointing right

tanks for listening to me ramble <3s and kisses on the mouth with tongue (i always ask for consent) love you all goodbye

[pesterloglog]

Jade Harley, Calliope

Act 6, page 7059-7097

JADE: im starting to remember the things she told me so vividly now

JADE: its amazing what a creative project can do to get your mind turning

CALLIOPE: ^u^

CALLIOPE: what shall i draw first?

JADE: the land of wind and shade!

JADE: that is where the story starts

CALLIOPE: i see.

CALLIOPE: which story, exactly?

CALLIOPE: her story, or yoUrs?

JADE: hmmm

JADE: both, as a matter of fact

JADE: my story began with a tragedy on lowas, which led to meeting her in the first place

JADE: and then, she used my memory of that tragedy as a starting point for her story, which turned out to be related

CALLIOPE: ooh, fascinating!

CALLIOPE: (i love stories)

JADE: (i know)

JADE: ill start with mine, since that will make everything else make sense

JADE: so go ahead and start drawing

CALLIOPE: what?

JADE: lowas!!

CALLIOPE: right!

CALLIOPE: how's this?

JADE: looks good!

JADE: dont forget to put a really tall house poking out of the top

CALLIOPE: oh yes, of coUrse.

CALLIOPE: so yoU say yoUr story begins with a tragedy?

CALLIOPE: what shall i draw next to depict this tragedy?

JADE: nothing yet... ill get to that!

JADE: but yes, the tragedy is why i was alone on the golden ship

JADE: it was not long after our three year journey began

JADE: i was relaxing in our makeshift livingroom, giving john and davesprite some space to themselves for a while so they could catch up

JADE: john wanted to visit his home again

JADE: so i happily obliged and shrunk them both down so they could hang out in his tiny tall house

JADE: it seemed like the nice thing to do...

JADE: but i came to regret that decision more than any ive ever made

JADE: i was minding my own business when out of nowhere...

JADE: lowas exploded!!!

JADE: i couldnt believe it

JADE: it was totally inexplicable

JADE: there was no trace of them at all... they were both dead

JADE: i supposed it must have meant johns death was heroic... but i couldnt for the life of me imagine how

JADE: to me it was as pointless and arbitrary as a death could be

JADE: i looked within myself as hard as i could to see if there was some power i had, in all my omnipotence, to bring them back

JADE: but i couldnt

JADE: they were gone

JADE: i would spend the next three years on that ship without my two best friends

JADE: sure, there were still consorts and chess guys to keep me company

JADE: but the loss was too much for me to bear

JADE: i felt so alone

JADE: weeks and months went by...

JADE: i didnt have the slightest sense of how quickly or slowly time was passing

JADE: any sense of purpose to reaching the destination had vanished, and delicious though it was, no amount of nannas cake would bring me comfort

JADE: toward the end of the journey, when i feeling particularly despondent...

JADE: i fell asleep and had a dream

JADE: and that is when i met a very powerful, strangely charismatic creature...

JADE: her name was calliope ;)

JADE: as i said, she was somewhat like you, and yet so unalike

JADE: her presence was so serious and grave

JADE: her hollow eyes were piercing... but not hostile

JADE: but the prevailing sense i got from her was one of loneliness

JADE: before she even said a word, i could feel it somehow, that this was a deeply lonely soul

JADE: until i met her, i thought i was the loneliest person in the universe

JADE: but a feeling told me she had been here by herself for a long long time

JADE: i felt sorry for her

JADE: and relating to her plight helped me overcome the feelings of intimidation

JADE: so we began to talk

JADE: we traded stories about ourselves

JADE: she spoke of the brother she killed

JADE: i spoke of the brother i lost

JADE: and when i mentioned johns death

JADE: that is when she became very serious again

JADE: she began to recount how john had died, repeating to me the same story i just told you

JADE: she described the spontaneous destruction of lowas which left me alone for years

JADE: i wondered why she was recounting this tragedy that happened to me, and for that matter how she knew of it herself

JADE: she went on to say that lowas was destroyed because johns denizen had suddenly woken up

JADE: typheus, a great monster of truly terrifying power

JADE: she said he had destroyed his land and slayed his own heir of breath not out of malice, but to make a slight correction

JADE: i asked her...

JADE: what do you mean, "correction"?

JADE: she said that the john from my reality, and his entire planet, needed to be erased

JADE: and that the slumbering denizen in all his mysterious wisdom knew this

JADE: she told me that the dreams of a denizen draw from the same well of potential from which every conceivable possibility arises

JADE: the same place skaia gets its power from

JADE: so if an agreement with a denizen is reached in one reality, that same denizen in another reality could become aware of it, and respond accordingly

JADE: it seems that john, somewhere, in some other plane of existence, had made just such an agreement

JADE: she said that the john i knew, like herself, was only one version of a person

JADE: there was a different version of john from another reality poised to play a more significant role

JADE: you see, the john from that reality in an act of desperation had gone to see typheus, and struck a bargain with him

JADE: she would go on to explain the nature of that bargain in the next part of her story

JADE: but from my perspective, the consequence of this bargain was to lose my friends, and to live with that for years without understanding why

JADE: losing them still hurt, but i was so relieved to at least understand the reason, and to realize their senseless deaths were actually serving a bigger purpose

JADE: i thanked her for letting me know

JADE: she told me she was not human, and had no frame of reference for empathizing with my feelings

JADE: but if there was one thing she could relate to, it was the feeling of being alone

JADE: the feeling of waiting for what seems like eternity by yourself, until finally your purpose presents itself

CALLIOPE: ...

JADE: ....

CALLIOPE: i feel sorry for her.

CALLIOPE: er, for myself, i suppose. but then again, that feeling is nothing new.

JADE: heh

CALLIOPE: it's an odd statement she made, thoUgh.

JADE: what?

CALLIOPE: not having the frame of reference for empathizing with hUman feelings.

CALLIOPE: if yoU asked me, i woUld say i have the vantage to relate to both hUmans and cherUbs, so when yoU describe yoUr feelings of sadness over losing friends, i'd have more than enoUgh groUnds for commiseration.

CALLIOPE: do you think that this version of me never...

JADE: never what?

CALLIOPE: never had hUman friends like i did?

JADE: i have no idea

CALLIOPE: what a strange thoUght.

CALLIOPE: to grow Up with only my brother for "company"...

CALLIOPE: and not even have my hUman friends to get me by.

CALLIOPE: what a dreadfUl fate. the poor thing.

CALLIOPE: maybe that was the difference?

CALLIOPE: what let her predominate over her brother, whereas i was too, erm...

CALLIOPE: "hUmanly socialized" to sUcceed in my cherUbic rite of passage?

JADE: could be!

JADE: i dont know enough about cherub rites of passage to say either way

JADE: human rites of passage either, for that matter

CALLIOPE: so then what happened!

JADE: right! anyway...

JADE: thats when she began her story in earnest

JADE: the one she summoned me in my dreams to tell me

JADE: the story of the other john who made a deal with typheus

JADE: it began with the same place mine did

JADE: lowas

JADE: ...

JADE: so, go on

CALLIOPE: what?

JADE: draw lowas again!

CALLIOPE: oh!!

CALLIOPE: wait.

CALLIOPE: all over again?

JADE: ummmmmm

JADE: no, you can just copy the first one you did :)

CALLIOPE: what a lovely idea.

CALLIOPE: i'd hate to hold Up the pace of yoUr exciting tale with a bUnch of sUperflUoUs doodling.

CALLIOPE: good enoUgh?

JADE: yes, but...

JADE: there are also supposed to be glitches around

CALLIOPE: glitches?

CALLIOPE: what do yoU mean by glitches?

JADE: like computery glitches i think

CALLIOPE: that soUnds hard to draw.

JADE: ok why dont we not worry about showing the glitches for this story

JADE: they would just make it harder to see whats going on...

JADE: which is probably the point now that i think about it?

CALLIOPE: the point?

CALLIOPE: of what?

JADE: i never thought much about it

JADE: it just seemed like a weird detail she mentioned

JADE: but i guess it was some strange form of corruption in their session that made everything harder to understand

CALLIOPE: where did the corrUption come from?

JADE: no idea!

JADE: i guess it was just one more way everything got messed up for them

JADE: like, just another surreal obstacle for a hero to overcome?

JADE: oh, that reminds me

JADE: you need to draw john there as well!

CALLIOPE: right-o.

CALLIOPE: there yoU go.

CALLIOPE: one hero.

CALLIOPE: sans sUrreal obstacles!

JADE: :)

JADE: when she mentioned that i didnt give it a second thought

JADE: but now that i am trying to reconstruct everything and tell you what to draw...

JADE: hmm

CALLIOPE: hm?

JADE: i guess when youre trying to tell a story it forces you to think a lot more about everything than when youre just listening to one

CALLIOPE: tis qUite trUe.

CALLIOPE: perhaps yoU shoUld start writing?

CALLIOPE: how did she begin?

JADE: let me think...

JADE: hmm, maybe we should pause before i go on?

CALLIOPE: paUse??

JADE: like

JADE: some sort of intermission

JADE: so i can collect my thoughts a bit, and to give the audience a little breather between two significant arcs

JADE: we were at it for a pretty good while there, after all

CALLIOPE: what... aUdience?

JADE: well, that would be you in this case

JADE: ooh i know!

JADE: i can doodle a quick story about the antics of the silly consorts on the golden ship before moving on

CALLIOPE: >:U

JADE: one of the things i did to pass the time on the ship was give them funny names

JADE: lets meet our cast of characters for this intermission shall we?

CALLIOPE: ...

JADE: lets see, there waaaas

JADE: bubbleupagus

JADE: thips ahoy

JADE: nak be nimble

JADE: slowpoke malone

CALLIOPE: jade.

JADE: detective glubsbudget

JADE: fidgety herbert

JADE: doctor snausages

JADE: yiffyiff

CALLIOPE: JADE!

JADE: huh?

CALLIOPE: I'M SORRY BUT I DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW!

CALLIOPE: YOUR CONSORT FRIENDS ARE SO VERY CUTE AND THEIR NAMES ARE SILLY AND I LOVE THEM ALL BUT I WANT TO HEAR THE REST OF THE STORY!

CALLIOPE: PLEASE LET'S GO BACK TO ILLUSTRATING HER STORY, I'M SO CURIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!

CALLIOPE: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!

JADE: wow, ok sorry!!!!!

JADE: yes youre right this is a stupid diversion... lets continue

JADE: um callie...

JADE: your hand :o

CALLIOPE: oops. :u

CALLIOPE: ahem. pay no attention to that.

CALLIOPE: do carry on.

JADE: so... anyway

JADE: like i said, she just finished telling me that she was able to beat her brother in this reality

JADE: but apparently, that wasnt supposed to happen?

JADE: so she lived out the rest of her life in a doomed timeline and eventually died

JADE: she didnt mention how

JADE: and then...

JADE: and then she did this kinda fancy transition

JADE: darn, i dont think ill do it justice

JADE: a transition to a story about MY brother... who was stuck in a doomed timeline too

JADE: i think ill mess it up if i try to match what she said word for word

JADE: she had a really fanciful way of putting things

CALLIOPE: there's no need to try to recite what she said.

CALLIOPE: jUst tell the story in yoUr own voice, as yoU have already been doing!

CALLIOPE: it will be more fUn that way.

JADE: ok

JADE: so the bottom line was

JADE: almost all our friends had died

JADE: and johns only hope was to return to his planet, and attempt to complete his personal quest

JADE: as you know, we all have personal quests that are unique to our planets

JADE: the nature of the quest is never easy to understand at first

JADE: they are presented to us through enigmatic riddles conveyed through the lore of the land

JADE: for john it was to journey to the place where "constellations danced beneath the clouds"

JADE: it was said the heir of breath was to free the stars from the shade and release them into heaven

JADE: this was just a mysterious way of saying what he REALLY had to do

JADE: the stars were actually fireflies

JADE: theyd been flying around trapped beneath the overcast sky ever since john first brought lowas into existence by his arrival

JADE: and paradoxically, theyd been imprisoned there for ages even before that

JADE: such is the way of our lands

JADE: they are newly born the day we arrive...

JADE: and yet they always were

JADE: to free the fireflies john would have to play a special song

JADE: it had to be played just right to summon the breeze through the pipes

JADE: but there was a problem...

JADE: the pipes were all clogged with oil!

JADE: the first day john came to his land, oil began oozing up from the core, flooding the pipes and filling the oceans

JADE: to play the song, first he would need to clean up the oil

JADE: and to do that, he would need to face the slumbering one himself

JADE: he would need to face typheus

JADE: but as he wandered through the catacombs down to the planets core

JADE: he wasnt thinking about freeing fireflies or cleaning up oil

JADE: he was seeking the help of his denizen to master a power he couldnt control

JADE: luckily for him, denizens always seem to understand what you want

JADE: and more importantly, what you need, whether you know it or not

JADE: ...

JADE: is something wrong callie?

CALLIOPE: hm?

JADE: go ahead and draw typheus!

CALLIOPE: oh...

CALLIOPE: yes, Um...

JADE: you do know what he looks like dont you?

CALLIOPE: i believe i do.

JADE: it doesnt have to be perfect

JADE: just draw a big green snake monster!

CALLIOPE: a big green snake monster yoU say...

CALLIOPE: :u

JADE: yes

JADE: a snake monster with the most unspeakably hideous face you can imagine

JADE: but you dont have to be too literal about that

JADE: feel free to draw something a little more representational :)

CALLIOPE: hrm.

CALLIOPE: i am not sUre if...

CALLIOPE: i am particUlarly comfortable rendering sUch imagery.

JADE: why not?

CALLIOPE: it strikes me as...

CALLIOPE: rather indecent.

CALLIOPE: for reasons i woUld be too embarrassed to explain. u_u;

JADE: thats ok

JADE: why dont i draw it?

CALLIOPE: very well.

CALLIOPE: bUt yoU mUst excUse me if i giggle.

JADE: ok but i dont see whats so indecent about a big old snake!

CALLIOPE: tee hee!

JADE: lol

JADE: when john got to the core he arrived to find typheus awake and ready for him

CALLIOPE: (giggle.)

JADE: he was then presented with the choice

CALLIOPE: (snicker.)

JADE: stop, youre gonna make me crack up too!

JADE: this part is serious!!

CALLIOPE: i apologize. please...

CALLIOPE: (snort.)

CALLIOPE: go on.

JADE: his choice was presented as a kind of riddle

JADE: spoken in a language only he could understand, spelling out the conditions he must accept

JADE: but speaking from experience, once a player is given the choice between two courses of action, it will hardly feel like a choice at all

JADE: if the heart is in the right place then the right thing to do always seems obvious

JADE: so john accepted his denizens terms

JADE: and with that...

JADE: typheus opened valves to the core

JADE: and flooded it with oil!

JADE: there was no way out

JADE: he could not transform into wind because he was completely submerged!

JADE: so he was faced with two possibilities

JADE: either he could figure out how to make himself disappear completely, using the ability he hoped to master

JADE: or he could drown in the oil

JADE: drowning obviously would have been bad :p

JADE: but disappearing wouldnt be much better!

JADE: he would appear somewhere else, having made no progress on his personal quest

JADE: his planet would still be polluted and he would be no closer to playing his song

JADE: somehow he understood the only way was to conceive of a third option

JADE: an idea beyond the simple binary set of outcomes before him

JADE: and interestingly

JADE: it was coming to this understanding which gave him the first glimpse of how to control the power

JADE: he realized it wasnt himself that he needed to make disappear...

JADE: it was the oil!

JADE: he dispersed every drop throughout existence

JADE: leaving a little mark for anyone who might notice, signifying his final mastery over his confining reality

JADE: but more importantly...

JADE: leaving his planet clean

JADE: and the pipes clear

JADE: finally they were ready to let the breeze flow

JADE: so he could play his song

[thekidsarentalright]

holy shit bestie i was listening to guts and realized i never sent u my top 5 from it… and then realized all of these songs are growing on me so much i switched my ranking around a few times 😭 anyway this is what it is rn

1.) get him back! (idk what it is abt this song but i could Not stop smiling and laughing the first time i listened to it!! makes me wanna drive at v fast speeds and like. egg someone’s house or something lmao... also love when u can hear her just like. goofing around in the studio, so i love all the little ad libs in there)

2.) all-american bitch (literally just sat there with my jaw dropped the first time i listened to it, those screams are everything!!)

3.) love is embarrassing (bc it feels and sounds like a rlly funny sequel to good 4 u… also the little vocal jumps she does at the end kinda remind me of the regrettes if u ever listened to them <3)

4.) ballad of a homeschooled girl (was not homeschooled but i overthink every single social interaction ever so. i relate 😅)

5.) logical (grew on me so much, holy shit that bridge is insane)

honestly had trouble even ranking the whole thing, i genuinely think it’s no skips. my faves are definitely the more upbeat songs bc my fave from sour was brutal, but all the ballads grew on me too! teenage dream is So good and made me cry a ton, ur so so valid for liking it so much <3

- 🧋 anon

bestie i am So sorry it took me so long to answer this augh ive been so scatterbrained recently 😭 BUTTT omg so excited to get this lil ranking, i so relate to switching it around a bunch ever since the album came out each song has grown on me sm it’s switching constantly

but ough you’re So real for this top 5!!! all-american bitch is def one of my top favs too and tbh has been since my first listen it is just. so crazy good. it and get him back And ballad of a homeschooled girl are like Addictive to listen to!!! and i so love the balance in the album of those more fast paced like. addictive songs and the slower/gentler(?) ones like logical which. such a good pick i feel like it’s so underrated omg

and yeah fr this album is absolutely no skips like. even the songs i connect to or like less (which for me i Also prefer the more upbeat ones!!! brutal is one of my favs from sour too we 🤝) are still just Such good music. girlie knows how to write a ballad fr she is just so so talented man

[the-last-kenobi]

Most of your fics absolutely destroyed me emotionally so, on my own risk, may I request #13 “You shouldn’t be this easy to carry" with Qui-Gon and padawan Obi-Wan? Thank you!

Ohhh I’m happy to write this one! Thank you! (Always pleased to hear I’ve emotionally wrecked innocent people lol)

From this various prompts list.

_

Qui-Gon descended the ramp of his ship with something less than his usual grace, his expression was rather sour. Other than that, he looked his usual self, untidy but comfortable and serene.

He waved to the attendant heading towards the ship, and bowed to a small mechanic droid that squeaked with excitement, ran in circles around him, and then darted off after the attendant.

Qui-Gon chuckled. He paused to take a deep breath, tasting the metallic scent of Coruscant on the air, but also the warm and familiar notes of the Temple, of home. It was good to be back. Tedious diplomatic assignments that ran well overtime were nothing worth dwelling on, especially when it was done alone.

“Master Jinn!” a warm voice called.

He turned his head and saw Shaak Ti walking towards him, a smile on her lovely face with its striking colors.

“Knight Ti,” he greeted her. “How are you?”

“I’m well,” she answered. “I’m just about to depart to Alderaan; it’s a royal wedding and I’m the token Jedi invitee,” she informed him, but there was no offense in her voice. Alderaan was well known to be genuinely welcoming, and had been more than courteous in their dealings with the Order for centuries on end.

“Enjoy it,” Qui-Gon advised her. “Weddings are rarely something you’d like to miss.”

“I will,” she promised. “Oh, is your Padawan around? I was hoping to catch him when he returned, he forgot to sign off on his departure notice and was scheduled for three shifts in the crèche, which he obviously missed.”

Qui-Gon’s head tilted to one side, and he frowned.

It was obvious that Shaak Ti believed that Obi-Wan had accompanied him on his mission, which had in fact been a solo assignment. The twenty-one-year-old Padawan had remained behind for class rotations.

And Obi-Wan had never missed... well, anything. He was notoriously early for everything, beyond punctual. It was almost annoying.

Perhaps he’d finally slipped into a belated teenage fit of laziness, or he’d fallen so behind on class work that he’d forgotten about the crèche. Both would be extremely out of character, but one instance of this in nearly nine years of training could perhaps be excused.

Shaak Ti was waiting for an answer.

“I’ll talk to him,” he promised, revealing nothing. “Thank you for letting me know. I had no idea.”

She waved it off. “These things happen. You have a good student on your hands; he’s easily forgiven.”

Qui-Gon smiled.

~

The door to their quarters opened for him with a casual wave of the hand. Jedi did not lock their doors often; privacy was an understood thing, something not casually breached. No Jedi would enter another’s rooms without first asking permission.

He wasn’t sure what he expected.

Obi-Wan in the common area, reading.

Or Obi-Wan out and about, somewhere off with some of his more trouble making friends. (Quinlan Vos.)

He was not expecting to find Obi-Wan huddled in the corner of their kitchenette, half-hidden in his cloak, knees drawn up under his chin, crying.

Obi-Wan saw him enter and flinched away, shuddering.

Qui-Gon stared.

The entire scene was so unexpected, so wrong, that for a full five seconds he simply stood there, unable to process it. Obi-Wan had buried his face in his knees and was attempting to stifle his tears, seemingly by holding his breath, which was only making him shake harder.

Qui-Gon jolted out of his paralysis and stepped nearer, dropping onto one knee, sensing that looming over his Padawan was not going to help.

“Padawan?” he asked cautiously.

Obi-Wan looked up reluctantly. His face was a sickly grey; his cheeks were bright red and his blue eyes were feverish. They darted around, seeming to fix on nothing.

“Obi-Wan,” the Master tried again, warily reaching out a hand and resting it on top of one of Obi-Wan’s, clenched around his knee.

Obi-Wan took a rattling breath, more tears spilling down his cheeks. “...What... day is it...?” he gasped.

Qui-Gon’s chest tightened with something close to terror. What in all the galaxy was going on here?

“It’s the 29th,” he said gently. “Taungsday. I returned a day late from my solo mission. Do you remember that?”

Obi-Wan’s tears had increased throughout the brief speech. “Y-yes.”

“All right,” said Qui-Gon, struggling to remain as calm and patient as possible. “All right. Can you tell me what’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

Obi-Wan shook his head, his expression crumbling. Suddenly he very much resembled the boy Qui-Gon had met on Bandomeer, uncertain and frightened, although even then he had not cried. This was different.

“Are you sure?” Qui-Gon pressed.

Obi-Wan nodded, strangling a loud sob by clapping one hand over his mouth. He said something, but of course it was impossible to understand behind his clamped fingers.

“What?” asked his Master.

“...so...stupid,” Obi-Wan burst out angrily through his tears. “I just... don’t feel well.”

“Don’t feel well?” Qui-Gon stared at his apprentice in confusion. “You’re sick? Obi-Wan, why didn’t you just go to the Halls?”

Obi-Wan shuddered. More tears slid down over his flushed cheeks. “I...I...I fell,” he said, sounding deeply uncertain. “I was working, and it was late, and I fell. I think I fell. I can’t walk. I can barely move. I don’t know how long it’s been—”

Qui-Gon was already moving, alarm ringing in his head like sirens. In two seconds he had Obi-Wan in his arms, cradled like a child, his head resting under Qui-Gon’s chin.

“You shouldn’t be this easy to carry,” he said tensely. “You haven’t had anything to eat or drink since you fell?”

“Some... some water,” Obi-Wan murmured. His skin was blazing hot against Qui-Gon’s, a sick and feverish heat. He had stopped crying — his tears seemed to have stemmed from a combination of confusion and shame, not pain — but he seemed on the verge of passing out. “I... I got some water... don’t remember when...”

“Stay awake,” Qui-Gon ordered. He was striding down the hallways, ignoring the few bystanders who watched them pass with bewilderment and concern. He did send a grateful nod to one young woman who raised her comm in her hand at him, asking a silent question, and at his gesture raised it to her lips and murmured ‘Tell the Healers that Master Jinn is bringing in his Padawan. Have someone ready.’

Obi-Wan murmured something vague.

“Stay awake,” insisted Qui-Gon. “Don’t fall asleep.”

Obi-Wan moaned but nodded, forcing his eyes to stay open. “I...I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize.” The words came out harsh and insincere in Qui-Gon’s urgency, and he realized it, because he dropped a swift kiss to the top of the fevered head in apology. Obi-Wan relaxed ever so slightly.

They arrived in the Halls of Healing and were immediately received by a Healer and his apprentice, who had Obi-Wan safely tucked in a bed and monitored in less than two minutes. Obi-Wan had closed his eyes against the bright light and seemed in danger of falling asleep again.

“Stay awake just a little longer, Padawan Kenobi,” the Healer instructed kindly. “I’m fairly sure of your diagnosis but I have to be more certain before I can administer treatment. Then you can sleep.”

“Yes, Healer,” rasped the young man.

Qui-Gon watched from the wall, his hands tucked deep in his sleeves to hide how they trembled. The shock of the last quarter hour was setting in, and he scrambled to keep his wits about him, worried about what this diagnosis might be. He still remembered Obi-Wan’s confusion about the day, his bewildered tears, and that memory was not going to be going away anytime soon.

He had been far too light in his arms.

Just how long had Obi-Wan been trapped in their rooms, unable to call for help and too confused to figure out a way around that? How long had he gone without eating and sleeping?

He found out.

An hour later, Obi-Wan was fast asleep, hooked up to an IV and blissfully pain-free due to a dose of pills he had managed to swallow. The Healer turned to Qui-Gon with a weary smile.

“You’re all right?” he asked.

“I’m fine. I’ve just returned from a mission, but I wasn’t hurt.”

“That’s good to know. I was asking about shock, however,” the Healer said gently. “I know this can’t have been a pleasant homecoming.”

Qui-Gon’s throat tightened, but he said nothing.

The Healer seemed to understand. “Obi-Wan has contracted a strain of the flu,” he explained, moving past the brief surge of emotion. “As you know, most strains of the flu are easily combated these days and many species have evolved or inoculated to the point where it’s hardly a concern. But sometimes the flu is stronger. In this case, it’s clear that it’s job was made easy. I don’t think Padawan Kenobi was eating or sleeping properly before the sickness began to set in. It would explain the severity of his malnutrition, and his confusion.”

Qui-Gon’s eyes flickered to the bed where Obi-Wan was sleeping, the fever still burning in his cheeks.

“...How long?” he asked.

“A few days at most,” the Healer said. “But I suspect it’s a habit that’s related to stress and overwork. Does Obi-Wan struggle with stress or insomnia?”

The Master hesitated a moment, opening his mouth to deny it, and then stopping to think better of it.

“...Maybe,” he admitted. The hesitation stung. Shouldn’t he know? “He’s very private with his habits when we’re in Temple. He prefers to study alone in his room, and we usually only manage to share one meal a day during his busier semesters, if that.”

The Healer nodded. He didn’t look or sound at all accusatory when he said, “That’s understandable. I’m going to suggest keeping a closer eye on that. Don’t force him out of his comfort zone, at least not right away, but make sure he understands that three square meals — or better yet, a light meal or snack every two or three hours — is expected of him. As is sleep.”

Qui-Gon nodded, his throat tightening again to the point of pain.

“Rest easy, Master Jinn,” said the Healer, briefly laying a supportive hand on the taller Jedi’s shoulder. “He’ll pull through this. The illness, and everything else. I believe it’s nothing more than a bad habit formed from good intentions. There are crueler demons out there.”

“Yes, I know,” said Qui-Gon. And he did know. One didn’t reach Jedi Mastery without learning the galaxy for what it was.

But he didn’t think he would ever quite move past the shock of today, of carrying his adult apprentice in his arms, sick to the point of tears and helplessness, and then discovering that he could possibly have prevented this if he had paid a little more attention to Obi-Wan’s work habits.

Well. They would, as the Healer said, overcome this.

Qui-Gon drew up a chair to the side of the bed, resolving to wait until Obi-Wan woke, and slowly reached out and set his hand next to his Padawan’s. After a moment, Obi-Wan stirred, and even in his sleep he gave a contented sigh and shifted his hand, his fingers searching blindly for his Master’s hand. Qui-Gon took it and held it tightly.

They had overcome so many things in nearly a decade together.

They could handle this.

And besides, Qui-Gon told himself, even after Obi-Wan was Knighted, he would always be here to watch his back.

He would never abandon Obi-Wan.

_

[loxbbg]

The Lost Girl

Chapter 15

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

"Shit she went limp." Dick check for a pulse. Bruce went into batman mode as soon as his daughter passed out in Tonys arms.

"Master Bruce I don't think its that pressing she just hasn't eaten she needs something in her body. Jason get an Iv. Damian I need you to watch your sister call your father or her father if she wakes up when the I.V gets empty put a new one. Mr. Stark you and Master Bruce will talk about your situation but consider Skylers point of view in the case please." Alfred gave orders Jason took Skyler to her room Dick following behind him Damian went to the cave to get the supplies moving them to his sisters room. Tim went to the bat cave to see what he can do if what happened to his sister is in anyway directed to her powers. Bruce and Tony stood face to face in a glare down.

"For goodness sakes you are grown men, put what ever anger and resentment toward this whole  situation. Your daughter is probably really stressed trying to wrap her head around this. Her mother abandoned her and her biological father had no idea of her existence. You need to think of a way to fix this for your daughter. On top of that her mother hasn't done anything about the situation. So she needs both her fathers so please act like grown men for your own daughters sake." Alfred had gotten sick of the mens petty behavior. They acted ask if she was something to fight over rather than a person.

" Okay Alfred. Stark why don't we go into my office and talk about what's best for Skylers sake." Bruce and Tony began walking towards the office but Alfred had enough with Bruce not taking his daughter in consideration and dragging Tony who knew nothing about his own daughter and is trusting the person who knows her best as long as he gets to know her and spend some time with her.

"No! You don't decide what's best for her, you come up with things you can compromise with then you talk about it with her." The men stopped hand on the nob of the door.

"Okay Alfred I promise we'll keep everything into consideration." Tony said pushing Bruce into the room. When the door closed Alfred shook his head praying to whom ever was up there that they don't kill each other. He ran off to check on Skyler and Jason. He walked up the flight of stairs till he reached the third floor. He walked up down the hallway till he got to the last door of children's bedroom floor. He opened the door to see Jason sitting opposite of Skylers bed. Damian fixing the IV in Skyler and Peter who he didn't hear come in, sitting the opposite side of Damian holding her hand that looked extremely pale almost transparent.

"How is she doing?"

"Drake needs to bring the monster to see but she's breathing thankfully. But there no type of progress she's still limp and not responding to anything." Tim came rushing in with the monitor. Damian took it from his hands hooking it up to Skyler. Her heartbeat was constant every thing was ok with her.

"What do we do now Alfred?" Peter whispered.

"We just let her wake up. Her Fathers are currently talking what they would like to do."

Bruce and Tony talked about what they think Skyler should do.

"She should spend a week with me and then a week with you and she can trade off." Tony tried negotiating.

"Stark she's 16 it's not like she's a child switching her off on different weeks isn't going to help she's going to get sick of it.  She's my daughter she grew up with me as her father she stays here." Bruce was not going  to move that easily.

"But shes my daughter I want to know her. I've been deprived of knowing my own child Bruce can't you understand." Tony was frustrated.

"Tony I understand I didn't know about my youngest son till he was 10. But Skyler is my child. And also  we should let her decide what she wants.  She called you dad so you obviously mean something to her. I just think we should wait for her to get better." For the first time Bruce was nervous. He knows since Skyler finding out about her powers they were having a  rocky relationship but she's still his child ever since Wanda left her. So Tony coming back he feels threatened that he might take his place as her father. He doesn't even have multiple children he can give her more time, more attention and she would have a mother or a mother figure a better one than the woman Bruce brings. Paper would be there with Skyler and could relate on non superhero terms.

A ringing brought Bruce out of his thoughts. He looked at his phone.

"Sorry can I get this." He picked up the phone not looking at who called.

"Hello?"

"Is she ok?" The voice on the other end asked.

"Who is this?" He asked.

"It's Wanda. Is she ok?" Bruce was shocked he never expected her to call about Skyler.

"Yes she's okay she's upstairs.Why do you care now?" He was honestly mad why now is she calling.

'Who is it.' Tony mouthed. 'Wanda' Tony rolled his eyes.

"I felt what happened. Bruce she's not okay. Her powers haven't been used and she's weak.

"And what's gonna happen she could recover." By this point Bruce put her on speaker to be heard by who ever was in the room.

"She could die Bruce. I can help Just let me." He looked over at Tony to see if he should let her

"Okay."

[amor-immortalem]

I Think I'm OKAY

genre: Angst, hurt comfort

length: two parter

warning(s): Feelings of abandonment, self-depreciating thoughts, suicidal thoughts (briefly), feelings of not being good enough, feelings of being unneeded and unloved

A/N: its just been a day guys. And Ive been think about this all day so I just wrote to get tge thoughs out of my head.

this takes place a few months after the epilogue of Everything Undesired where Azalea is still coming to grips with the fact that she's not her father's heir like she always thought she had been. Mammon and Arella really did try to make time for her but things just never worked out in their favor and it ended up giving their daughter abandonment issues.

She’s lost. Not physically but mentally- Azalea doesn’t know where to go or what her purpose is. Ever since her older brother returned from where ever the hell he’s been her whole life, she’s felt more alone than ever before. From her parents being busier than ever helping Cyrus readjust to life here in the Devildom to her twin brother being curious enough about their new older brother to spend all his time trying to get to know him, no one has time for Azalea any more.

Whenever she tries to reach out to either her parents or her brother she gets blown off. It’s always ‘I’m sorry, I couldn’t make it.’ or ‘I’m sorry, I forgot that was today.’ Forgot? How does one just forget about their child? And Azalea is sorry too. She’s sorry for existing. Maybe everyone is just tired of her. Maybe they didn’t need her anymore? After all, she was just her father’s back up plan. A back up plan. Yeah, it sounded as bad as it hurt- to think that’s the only reason he kept her around all this time. Despite how she might try, all she could ever do is fuck up. Why would her parents ever need a child like that?

She feels abandoned, unneeded. All she ever wanted was to make them proud- she pushed herself to maintain the perfect grades just for their praise. Hell, she’d even forced herself to take advanced placement and honors courses just for their approval but they hadn’t even noticed. And it’s not like she hadn’t tried to show them. The last report card she got in her last year of middle school had a note attached to it stating that when she entered RAD, she’d be welcomed into the advanced courses but of course they had been too busy to even look. Both of her parents assumed nothing had changed so they just didn’t need to see something they had seen hundreds of times already.

Why did they stop loving me? The half-demon thinks to herself, Was it all the fights? Was I not good enough for them? I wish I could make them happy the way my brothers do. I wish I was perfect like them, maybe then they wouldn’t have forgotten about me. Maybe I would still belong. What did I do wrong? Azalea can feel the tears dripping down her face. I’m crying? Again? Pathetic. People like me don’t cry.

She hurriedly wipes them away as she looks up at the stars that dot the night sky of the Devildom. She’s pretty high up on a rooftop. She wonders if a fall from this height might kill her or would it just leave her badly injured- the idea’s tempting. She’d come up here to clear her mind and sort out her feelings with how things had changed- how everything she thought she was meant to be had been ripped away from her, but it had just made things worse. She thought she was okay with all this change but after trying for months to find something new to do with the rest of forever, she found out the only thing she was ever any good at was getting into fights. Sure, she’d taken up sports on her uncle Beel’s suggestion but that led to even more pain when time after time, neither of her parents could be bothered show up.

Her phone lights up with a text from her father.

Dad:

Why weren’t ya at dinner today?

Azalea:

Why weren’t you and Mum at my meet today? Ya know like you promised ya would be?

Dad:

‘Zay c’mon don’t be like that. We said we were sorry but something important came up and we couldn’t make it

Azalea:

Sure whatever you say old man

Its what you always say

It's always something more important ain’t it?

Something more important than me.

Dad:

Azalea

Azalea:

Shove it old man. I don’t wanna hear it right now.

She always gets the short end of the stick. For parents that claim they care about her, they sure had a shitty way of showing it. As the family’s resident trouble maker, she’s not good enough for them. Whatever, she doesn’t even need them anyway. She deserves better than a family that doesn’t care. A family she no longer has a place in. And that was fine by her. Now that she’d finally admitted it to herself, she found it would be easier to ignore her entire family and live life depending on only herself.

With a shuddering huff, the girl shuts her D.D.D off and shoves it in her jacket pocket. She leaves the roof top, still in tears headed for the House of Lamentation.

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“Arella, I have to go and find our daughter.” Mammon sighs as he gets his jacket on.

“She’s still upset about the track meet, isn’t she?” The black-haired human frowns “If you’ll give me a moment, I can ask Aurelius if he’ll watch Mahlon and I’ll go with you. This is something we should address together.”

“I don’t think we got the time to waste, Hon. She stopped respondin’ ta my texts and isn’t answerin’ her phone. If I don’t go now, she might so something to herself. I’ll be able to cover more ground quicker if I fly since she could be anywhere- even up high where we wouldn’t be able to see her that easily.”

“Then go on, I’ll talk to her when she gets home.” Arella nods as her husband leaves.

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She enters her room through the garage door entrance. She really didn’t need to considering Azalea was the only one home currently. She knew Aurelius and Zulima would be gone for the rest of the weekend but still she locked her door to prevent any unwanted visitors- mainly her parents as she knew they’d probably come looking for her after the message she’d sent to her father earlier.

She looked over at the stack of unopened akuzon boxes- all gifts sent to her by her parents as ‘apologies’ for various things. Yeah sure, gifts were nice when they were for things like birthdays or Christmas but not when they were used as a way to placate her feelings when her parents missed things like track meets or science fairs or school functions that they promised they would be there for. It felt like a shallow apology so Azalea never opened any of them. They were starting to collect dust now.

Just because greed is her sin doesn’t mean its satisfied by material objects alone. There was more to it than that. Her sin specifically manifests with being greedy for healthy interpersonal relationships- things like money or material objects only did the bare minimum to help keep it under control and satisfied. She wanted her parents’ attention and only that so when they failed to keep their promises, it hurts her deeper than either of them understands- Azalea doesn’t even have the words to describe how it hurts her.

As she plops down on her sectional and flips on the projection of stars and constellations from the human world to calm herself down, she thinks about the way her greed is eating her alive as she turns on some music- a song her friend from the human world showed her called ‘I Think I’m Okay’. It was a song she really related to for some reason. As the song plays on loop, she thinks about how when she was younger- before her youngest brother was born- she was always of healthy weight and body condition. Nowadays with the lack of ability to satisfy her sin, she was just skin and bone. Despite eating constantly, she always feels like she’s starving and she’d be lucky if she weighed in at 90 pounds soaking wet- all of it coming from the weight of her bones and muscle. Her body is just burning through everything too fast and at this point Azalea doesn’t know whether or not she even has the energy to waste to transform into her demon form anymore.

The half-demon hears a faint knock at the door. Maybe if she doesn’t answer then whoever it is will get the hint and go away. As she watches the door open, a scowl appears on her face. Of course her father would pick the lock on her door. She doesn’t know why she’s even surprised right now. He never knows when to leave well enough alone.

“We need to talk...” Mammon says as he sits down on the couch next to her.

“I don’t wanna. Get lost.” the teenager rolls on to her side away from her father.

“Too bad. I’m not leavin’ until we do.”

“Then prepare ta die in here cuz I refuse.” She can’t let him fool her into accepting his apology when she knows full well he doesn’t mean it.

“You really are just like your ma sometimes- stubborn as all get out.” He sighs. “I see ya never opened yer packages. Why?”

She continued to ignore him. How can she get out of this? Maybe if she closed her eyes, she could fool him into thinking she was asleep.

Just get frustrated and leave already. It’s what ya always do when I won’t talk to ya.

She waits an hour, two, three but still he doesn’t leave.

Man is this getting annoying! Why won’t he just give up and go home already?

“Well, since ya won’t talk, I will. Ya know, Mom and I really are sorry we couldn’t be there this afternoon... I know you’re upset about it but we got called to an emergency meeting at the castle and we... kinda... forgot what time it was by time we were done.  I know we don’t have a lot of time to spend with ya anymore but things are just so crazy right now... it’s difficult and when ya act like a brat like this it doesn’t make things any easier.” And Mammon realizes too late that he’s said the wrong thing and put his foot in his mouth.

“Right... cuz that’s all I am is a spoiled brat...” Azalea can’t help the way her voice quakes. “I’m a brat because I asked for you and mum to pay attention to me over the boys just this once and you two let me down and now, I’m getting blamed for being as upset as I am. Yeah, that makes perfect sense.”

“Azalea, that’s not what I meant and you know that,” Mammon places his hand on her shoulder to turn her over and is shocked when all he feels is bone and muscles that are beginning to atrophy. “What are you doing to yourself? Yer nothin’ but skin an’ bone, Baby.”

“I’M NOT THE ONE WHOSE DOING THIS TO ME!” she roars as she hops up from the couch. “IT’S YOU TWO. YOU’RE THE ONES DOING THIS TO ME!” and then her voice suddenly drops. “But you would notice that if you spent more than five seconds with me. My greed is eating me alive and it’s your fault. I’ve tried for months to get you or Mum to spend time with me and I get forgotten about every time because something ‘more important’ comes up or you also make plans with Aurelius or Cyrus and choose to do that over spending time with me. It’s either that or you both choose Mahlon over me and it’s literally killing me. I get that they all need you guys too and I’m not more important than them but it feels like they’re more important to you than me. And I hate it because...” She lets out a sob as she sinks to her knees, “Because you two are the most important people to me.”

Mammon looks at his daughter with a horrified look on his face. His only daughter feels like she’s not important to them but she was right in a way. Both he and Arella had been choosing her brothers over her- not intentionally but he can see why she would come to that conclusion. This was a very crucial time in her life having had everything she thought she was taken away and she was lost with no clue where to go. He and her mother should have been right by her side, helping her find a new path in life this whole time but instead they got so wrapped up in work and other things that now their daughter was suffering the consequences.

“No, baby that’s not true.” The demon says as he wraps his little girl up in his arms. “You are so important to us too.” He rubs her back as he rocks her back and forth, “We love you so much and I’m so sorry we haven’t made ya feel like that. We’re gonna do better from now on. I promise, okay?”

Azalea is hesitant to nod. How many times had she heard the word promise and then had that promise broken but even now as she’s wrapped up in her father’s arms, she’s starting to feel the overwhelming weight of her sin slowly start to go away. She just rests her head against his chest as her puffy teary blue to gold eyes start to slip closed ever so slowly.

“Sweet dreams, Princess.” He says as he runs he hand through her hair and places a kiss to the top of her head.

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Find more on my masterlist

[ectonurites]

can anybody please explain the appeal of tim drake because ive been into the batfamily for a while now and tbh im really confused on why people like his character so much compared to the other robins. like they all have their own thing going on and he just... doesnt?

Have you read his Robin solo? Because if not and you want to try to like him but just don’t understand why people do, that’s what I’d recommend. That and like, Young Justice 1998. 

Because Tim definitely... does have his own thing going on. Maybe not in the same way as the others, but like, there’s a reason he has a 183 issue long solo comic that ran for like 16 years: he was fun to read about!

But I will give some more specific thoughts on the subject as a Tim Drake Appreciator™ (this got long im sorry)

The appeal of Tim (especially early on Tim) is kinda the fact that he’s this more normal kid. For a while that is his ‘thing’. He was basically designed to be a self-insert (he definitely became more than that along the way, but from the start he was meant to be relatable) in a different way than how Dick and Jason had been before him. 

Like the role of Robin from the start was this way to create a character young readers could identify with more, could see themselves in more. And Dick and Jason did that, but they still had this element to their lives and stories that was more... unattainable for the average reader. Dick was a circus prodigy, Jason was either also a circus prodigy if we remember pre-crisis or if we go with his post-crisis story he’s this street-wise orphaned kid who had a really tough life but still went on to be a hero anyways. Obviously those lives are relatable for some people, but those’re definitely not as broadly recognized as common upbringings especially not by DC trying to market to the ‘average’ kid/young teen.

But the creation of Tim changed the game a bit. Dick and Jason were these aspirations a kid could look to like ‘wow I want to be cool like that!’ but Tim was a Robin designed for kids to look at and go ‘wow, his problems and civilian life are just like mine AND he’s a hero, I want to be cool like that!’, ya know? Tim was... just a clever kid with an average life who managed to connect some dots and had enough drive to want to fix things he saw were a problem, he didn’t have the same kind of heightened drama backstory the others did. The Robins that came after Tim definitely didn’t have this idea of relatability in mind the same way either. Unfortunately Steph’s time as Robin was much more of a marketing ploy than an actual like... decision to make her Robin, so it’s hard to really fit her into this conversation. But Damian from the start was first of all initially created not to be Robin but just as the son of Talia and Bruce back in the 80’s, but when he was later reimagined into the character that would become Robin he had the whole ‘raised by and is the heir to the league of assassins and is the son of batman’ thing going on still. He just was not supposed to be relatable that same way, he was a character designed with different things in mind.

I really think it was more just DC’s 90′s era younger-audience comics in general that tried to push that relatability thing (like in YJ how Cissie even after quitting the team stays a major character as a civilian throughout, and the civilian aspect that’s super present in Bart’s 90s solo too, etc), but later in the 2000’s that idea was definitely pushed to the side in favor of... putting in even more dramatic superhero-y stuff.

And the other thing that’s... such a more normal thing but it actually made him unique here, was that Tim’s dad was still alive until like 2004 (so 15 years into Tim being around as a character). This gave Tim a lot more typical ‘family school girlfriends normal life etc’ problems on top of/in contrast with his superhero problems. These just manifested in very different ways than they could with the other Robins because of that unique situation with a living civilian parent who doesn’t know about hero stuff (until he did find out which lead to that whole Unmasked thing, but there was only the brief time around War Games & Identity Crisis where Jack knew Tim was actively Robin and he was... still alive) Tim also had his life at school expanded way more than most other Robins, like, he had such an extended supporting cast of civilian friends which is a really interesting thing to read about (and the fact that he hasn’t had that stuff since the New 52 I think really hurts his character)

And then related to that loss of his dad... Personally another thing about Tim that really interests me is how a lot of things were more... his choice. if that makes sense. A lot of characters in the Batfamily were struck with tragedy/extreme trauma before they became heroes and that’s what spurred them into this life of becoming heroes. Tim’s situation wasn’t like that at all! When he first got involved in everything during Lonely Place of Dying, the only tragedy he’d experienced was watching Dick’s tragedy happen. Which sure yes traumatic obviously, but that’s not the same as how pretty much all the other Bats had gone through these very personal losses or other sorts of very first-hand personal traumas that served as motivators. Tim didn’t start to experience those things until after he got involved in the hero life, and aside from his Mom’s death which was more of just an unrelated incident (that technically happened before he was officially Robin but it was during his time training to become Robin), pretty much all these other tragedies and things... would not have happened or been experienced by him had he not become Robin. 

That’s not me placing blame on him or anything like that, because god no that’s not how that works, but it’s very interesting because from his point of view he definitely feels that guilt because he knows him being Robin played a role in a lot of it (Thinking specifically about in Adventure Comics #3 when Kon even says “I know what guilt does to you” to him like it’s... it’s a thing with him!). His dad was murdered because he was Robin. He only met Steph and started dating her through being Robin, and thus he would not have experienced the loss of his girlfriend dying like that had he not been Robin. Tim met both Conner and Bart through being Robin, and would not have had a personal connection to them when they died otherwise. The whole Bruce’s death thing after Final Crisis, like. I could go on honestly, that was only talking about losses not even his own experiences nearly getting killed, but yeah, all these personal tragedies were experienced by him specifically because he chose to bring himself into this life, which I think in turn plays into how throughout his comics you see him go from having this really optimistic view on things and being really hopeful to seeing him at that low point he reaches by the time of Red Robin. (thinking about that one post that points out how Tim started out in the 90′s as an optimist and Steph a cynic and by the time they were Red Robin and Batgirl in 2009 they had switched outlooks...) 

I also think that him having had such a great team book with the original Young Justice can help contribute to people liking him. His friendships with the rest of the core four and that team in general are really compelling. (and that’s something like again when looking at the other Robins, while Dick had the Titans ofc, Jason never really found footing with a team outside of like one mission with the Titans and then We All Know How Damian’s Teen Titans Stuff Went. Steph also only ever really worked with a team outside the batfam on very brief occasions) and even though I’m not as big of a fan of the 2003 Teen Titans run that came after YJ, people who read Young Justice and also that could follow and be attached to those same characters over a pretty decently long period of time. 

Idk man, I don’t really have an ultimate point here i’m just rambling. I can definitely understand not seeing the appeal to him right away (honestly i’ve been into Batfam since like 2013/2014 and Tim did not become one of my faves until 2020) especially if like... idk when you say ‘into the batfamily’ that can mean a lot of different things. If you’re reading more like the bigger events with the batfam sure Tim can kinda fade into the bg a bit, if you’re more talking about fanon the fanon version of him is prettyyyyy uhhhhh not really the same as how he was in pre New 52 canon, if you’re mainly reading New 52 era Batfam stuff then that Tim I also don’t understand the appeal of bc thats Not My Boy, if you’re interested in a different member primarily and only familiar with Tim when he shows up in things focused on that other character then it’s easy to not really understand the appeal right away bc he’s more there to support that character rather than shine in his own right. 

I think it’s also worth mentioning he’s just not everybody’s cup of tea, and that’s totally fine. Like, these are fictional characters and sometimes you just will vibe with a character and sometimes you won’t! idk if this helped at all or even made sense. but yeah. I just think he’s neat 😌