#ive been feeling good today!!! good enough to think this up :)
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maplegyu · 8 hours ago
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THE WAY I CLICKED THIS SO FAST BECAUSE OF THE TITLE!!!!!??!?!
I RECOGNIZE THAT QUOTE ANYWHERE 😭 (its even the header of one of my sideblogs!!)
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BUT I DIDNT WANT TO ASSUME SO WHEN I GOT TO THIS PART!!!!!! I ACTU SQUEALED
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I KNEW WHAT WAS COMING. I KNEW WONU WOULD CONFESS IN THE BEST MOST CREATIVE MOST ROMANTIC WAY POSSIBLE BUT I WAS STILL WAS NOT PREPARED WHEN I FINALLY READ THE FIC THROUGH!!!!!!! One of the best shortforms i've ever had the pleasure of consuming!!!!!
You catch how his fingers curl and uncurl in his jacket, the poor fabric already wrinkled at his fidgeting.
Of course the visions in my head for this was *the* Darcy hand clench scene
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Years ago, there had been a time when you entertained the thought of dating Jeon Wonwoo. In night-outs where he’d offer to get you home, a hand on your back to keep you from stumbling as you’d fumble for keys that always ended up at the bottom of your bag. He had even taken to keeping a pair of slippers in his car, in your size, for you to change into when your feet were hurting. Wonwoo never told you—he just knew your foot size, just cared in the understated, quiet way he always did. When you found out, you remember thinking that this would be the kind of man you wouldn’t mind offering your heart to. Thought that obviously he’d only do something like that for someone he was in love with.
PLEASE THE WAY THE WRITING TRANSLATED INTO A VISUAL MONTAGE IN MY HEAD???!?! HOW COULD I NOT SWOON!!!! HOW COULD I NOT ROOT FOR THEM!!!??! MY GODDDDD the seed of wonu being an austen-coded man has forever altered my brain chemistry. I truly love any and everything remotely austen-adjacent!!!!
Today, that bird you had deprived of the sun beats its wings against your ribcage, insistent once more. Your body is simultaneously numb and buzzing with energy, as though it could not decide whether it wanted to freeze up or run a few hundred laps.
Just stellar writing and imagery all around. One of the first things i thought was that this is such a fantastic example of figurative language! 💖
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This whole scene... god ITS LITERALLY MY VERSION OF READER'S: me!!! but also me when!!!!!
“In case it isn’t obvious, Jeon Wonwoo, I’ve been in love with you too.” You whisper. He leans forward, resting his forehead against yours. Where before, he was afraid to look at you, now, it seems it’s all he can do. The fondness in his gaze is enough to bring anyone to their knees.
THE CONFESSION WAS SO GOOD AND CONFIDENT. THE FOREHEAD RESTING IS SO REGENCY-CODED I KNOW ITS MODERN DAY BUT THE CALLBACKS TO THINGS PLAYING OUT A LITTLE OLD FASHIONED PERIOD JUST FEELS SO ROMANTIC TO ME!!!!!!!!!!
“That was hell of a gamble for Valentine’s,”
I LOVED THIS LINE SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!
idk what it is... it made it feel like the stakes were extra high but wonu was just that sure/confident!
“You’re okay. I don’t think I’m up for anything, er, more, tonight, but can we please keep kissing.”
I loveddd this too!!! It was so cute and suchhh a mood! Hahaha
Behind your ribs, the bird flies, finally free.
PERFECT FREAKIN ENDING. everything was just lovely from start to finish! this is perhaps my fave wonu fic ive read to date!!! 💖💖💖
Thank you for writing and sharing this 🥰
if i loved you less
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summary. wonwoo's biggest gamble starts a week before valentine's day. pairing. jeon wonwoo x gn!reader genre/tags. non-idol!au, friends to lovers, bookworm!reader, spoilers for a 210-year old novel, wonwoo wins most creative confession, suggestive at the end wc. 2.9k suggested listening. pretty u, seventeen // dreams, the cranberries // andante andante, abba // i will, the beatles // library card, janani k. jha // aphrodite, the ridleys
notes. late to a hearts day posting, but pls accept this humble offering in between thesis cramming! i first pitched this to kae waaay back, but unfortunately it is not royal/period au (sorry ueueue). i read aspen's accidental one night stand ww and dug around my wip's for this in a fit of madness LMAOOO as always, reblogs are appreciated and come say hi if you're so inclined 🫶🏼
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“Happy Valentine’s Day.” Wonwoo hands you a package wrapped in brown paper, tied neatly with twine. Your eyes light up as you accept it with a soft thank you.
“Aren’t you a week early?”
“I know,” he replies simply. “I wanted to ask you to finish reading this by Friday.” Your brow furrows.
“Is it something I can finish by then?” Wonwoo nods. You feel the weight the parcel in your hands, considering his strange request.
“What brought this on?” You ask. 
The shift is subtle, but you notice it nonetheless—a flicker of something passing across his eyes, and his shoulders tensing up before he pulls them down again. Wonwoo looks away, as though steeling himself for something.
“It’s my reading recommendation.”
“Yours?” You straighten. Wonwoo’s never gifted a book to you before based on his own taste. He always based it off your reading list, after being hopelessly lost navigating a bookstore and asking the clerk for help, only to give you a book wildly different from your preferences.
You hold the book close to your chest. “Can I open it now?”
“No.”
“Fine,” you pout, then frown as a thought comes to you. “Wait. I remember telling you I’m on a ban right now.”
Normally, Wonwoo was scrupulous about following your rules, one of which being that he can’t gift you a book if your current priority was reading through the ones you already had.
He seems to weigh his words carefully before replying. “I just thought this one was too important to pass up.”
You catch how his fingers curl and uncurl in his jacket, the poor fabric already wrinkled at his fidgeting. Trying to make your voice as soothing yet nonchalant as possible, you pull your lips up to a grin, thumbing the edge of the twine ribbon. “I suppose I can make an exception for my best friend.”
It seems to have the opposite effect.
There it is again—the subtle shift in his demeanor, the miniscule purse of his lip before Wonwoo speaks. “Do you have dinner plans, or are we doing movie night again?”
“Movie night sounds good. Any requests for food?”
Normally, Wonwoo would ask you to prepare ramyeon, especially after you had figured out Mingyu’s recipe, while he brought dessert. But his reply, like everything else in this conversation, is unexpected. “I’ll handle it.” He checks his watch before leveling you with an apologetic look. “I have to run. There’s a bunch of shit to do at work between, but I’ll see you on Friday?”
If he wanted to talk to you, he would. You’d never push him to say anything he wasn’t ready to share. You repeat this to yourself, even as you nod, maintaining your façade of soothing nonchalance.
“Yeah, see you.”
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For the past couple of years, Wonwoo’s gift of choice has always been a book. After your protests at the price of new titles and your steadfast allegiance to your library card, among other reasons, the rules had been laid out as follows:
Copies should, as much as possible, not be brand new. They could be from thrift stores, secondhand shops, yard sales, or those Facebook groups where owners sold their old titles. Only new releases would be the exception, and even then, indie bookstores should be the first place to look.
Refer to the Notion page of your current to-be-read list for possible titles.
If you were on a book buying ban, so is he; it’s bad enough that your shelves continue to groan under the weight of books still unread. 
The first rule was for your indulgence, too. You happened to take home a volume of the Diaries of Anaïs Nin only to find notes scribbled in the marginalia, and fell in love immediately. It’s a rare thing in your collection, but you do have someone’s old Letters to Milena and Giovanni’s Room, the latter with annotations in Arabic, of all languages.
You stare at the unwrapped gift, heart in your throat.
Emma.
Wonwoo must have been lying when he said it was his recommendation; you have your own well-worn copy, annotations and all, sitting in the corner of your shelf dedicated to Austen. Hands shaking, you open your messages, snapping a photo of the book laying on the desk.
You [picture] ??? wonwoo?? (Seen)
He sees it almost immediately; three dots appear onscreen. you hold your breath.
aa wonu It’s a gift. Don’t overthink it. But I hope you won’t get mad.
You is it smth I should be mad abt?
aa wonu Up to you.
You you know i’ve read emma, right
aa wonu Have you started reading this one yet?
You turn to Chapter 1, and gasp. There, in black ink, is Wonwoo’s familiar scrawl, remarks littering the blank space between the heading and the text. You flip through the first half, seeing how he’d write anything from a smiley face to bracket off entire passages with an exclamation point. Some brackets and underlines have longer annotations beside them that you have yet to read.
It’s all in black pen—so characteristically Wonwoo, who wouldn’t be the type to use different colored highlighters and page flags, anyway.
You oh my god. wonwoo
aa wonu The last time I read a classic was in high school Don’t judge me too harshly. Please. See you Friday?
You hesitate before replying.
You yeah ofc! see you!!
Your thumbs are shaking too badly as you type the last message; the phone gets thrown on your bed, bouncing once before resting on the pillow. A hand comes up to cover your mouth. You stare at the book, mind whirring.
Years ago, there had been a time when you entertained the thought of dating Jeon Wonwoo. In night-outs where he’d offer to get you home, a hand on your back to keep you from stumbling as you’d fumble for keys that always ended up at the bottom of your bag. He had even taken to keeping a pair of slippers in his car, in your size, for you to change into when your feet were hurting. Wonwoo never told you—he just knew your foot size, just cared in the understated, quiet way he always did. When you found out, you remember thinking that this would be the kind of man you wouldn’t mind offering your heart to. Thought that obviously he’d only do something like that for someone he was in love with.
Now, of course, after his exes and your own, and no confession in sight, you had buried your wishful thinking in the deepest parts of your heart. You’d even grown to appreciate it more, finding comfort in the care that was independent of any romantic expectation.
Wonwoo, your best friend, chose, out of all the books to annotate and gift you, Emma. You know how the story goes. He knows you know how it goes. Yet Wonwoo’s thoughts are here, immortalized and entrusted into your hands, the same hands you have now buried your face in while trying to reel in your breaths.
Today, that bird you had deprived of the sun beats its wings against your ribcage, insistent once more. Your body is simultaneously numb and buzzing with energy, as though it could not decide whether it wanted to freeze up or run a few hundred laps.
It could be nothing—could be like that time with the slippers again where you allowed yourself to be caught in your wishful thinking. You don’t know if your heart can take it if it isn’t. You don’t know if your heart can take it if it is.
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You welcome Wonwoo in your apartment with a painfully bright grin, accepting his proffered bag of takeout before ushering him inside. He had offered only a soft hello, barely a smile on his face as he took off his shoes by your entrance. You couldn’t bring yourself to keep up any chatter while he washes his hands in your kitchenette, even as you busy yourself a few feet away with peeling off the tape on the plastic containers and wiping away any grease that leaked out.
“I’ll set up the table,” he breaks the silence, gaze unreadable. He’s already holding the two rice containers, and two pairs of chopsticks from your stash. 
You paste on a smile, tape still sticking to your fingers. “Sure.” 
He walks away. Not even when Wonwoo had broken up with his last partner, who made him choose between them and you, has it been this awkward. Steeling yourself, you join him, setting down the plate of chicken and bowl of steaming kimchi jjigae a safe distance from the laptop.
Before you begin eating, you hold up a hand for him to wait. Reaching into a nearby drawer, you pull out and offer your own present—a beta-release of a game he had been eyeing for some time now. Wonwoo’s eyes soften.
“Thank you,” he murmurs, as though he hadn’t been expecting you to gift him anything.
“Of course,” you respond immediately. Wonwoo glances at you before looking away. He always sits across you when you eat, and you catch the micro-changes in his expression as he shifts, staring hard at a spot on your floor before picking up his chopsticks. He looks at anything but you. The sound of the bamboo breaking seems to echo around the space.
Eventually, it’s too much for you to bear. You square your shoulders, inhaling a quick, sharp breath.
“I thought you wouldn’t come,” you begin, tentatively.
“…I thought about not coming,” he replies, raising his eyes to meet yours, which have not yet looked way from him. He looks away again. Something in your chest twists painfully, even if your body is buzzing with repressed adrenaline.
“Do you still want to watch a movie? Or are we gonna talk about it?”
Wonwoo’s eyes are guarded. “Is there anything to talk about?” he replies, an edge in his voice. “You never messaged after that day.” 
“I thought you wanted today to be the day we talked about it? Seemed like too big of a thing to discuss over text.” And you had spent the last week agonizing over what to feel, how to feel, what to say, and how to say it. He presses his lips together, fixing his gaze on the piece of napa cabbage resting on top of his rice. The broth stains the grains around it with a tint of red. 
He rests his chopsticks against the rim of the bowl before leaning back, running a hand through his hair. “I get it. It’s a lot. I’m sorry.”
You shake your head. “Don’t be sorry.” The response feels automatic, but you do mean it. He has nothing to be sorry for.
You look at him, really look, searching his features. There’s something in his eyes that breaks your heart—as though he had come here already expecting heartbreak, yet showed up nonetheless. 
Just like that, all the questions, any plans you had for today, vanish like smoke. 
“Just—just wait here.” You set your chopsticks on your bowl. The bamboo clacks softly right before the chair creaks as you stand, stumbling back a little as you turn to your bedroom. 
“Where is that—” you mutter. “Aha!” You run back to the table, where Wonwoo is waiting. Under his fingers, the takeout napkin is all but shreds, though he does try to hide it under the table once you arrive. You approach him, dragging your chair so you can sit beside him, nothing separating you.
“Hold out your hands,” you instruct. Wonwoo does, and you set down a copy of Emma on his waiting palms. But not the one he gave you the other day. It’s yours, the one you’ve owned for many years.
Wonwoo stares at it, before lifting his gaze to you. 
“Did you know,” you begin softly. “I used to like Persuasion the most. I loved how it was written, how both characters were more mature than the ones in her other books. Pride and Prejudice had my favorite characters. But Emma…”
You thumb at its spine, and then at the crease on the cover, a thin white line disrupting what would have been solid black. Its careworn edges are familiar under your fingertips, and you know if you fan the pages in front of your nose it will smell like the characteristic scent of old books.
“Emma is the one I reread the most. At least, certain parts of it.” There’s a page marked—the scene where Mr Knightly finally lays his heart bare to Emma. From behind your back, you bring out his gift, flicking through the pages until you find the same page in this copy, Wonwoo’s only highlight in a book annotated with black pen. 
If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.
In your copy, there’s the same, with a note in your handwriting—in the script you first learned in high school and tried to revisit some years ago before giving up: me!!! but also me when!!!!!
Wonwoo looks at both of these, mouth parted. You know how sharp he is, how the pieces have already come together in his mind. 
“Really?” He asks, voice soft, as though he can hardly believe it. The only thing left is for him to believe it. You know, because you are the same. It was only the heartbreak in his eyes, the anticipated rejection at the start, that made it sure for you. 
Tentatively, your hands wander, moving from clasping the book to cupping his hands, cool under your own. You glance down at the book.
“‘If I have not spoken, it is because I am afraid I will awaken myself from this dream.’” Finally, you allow the giddy smile to spread across your face. Your heart flutters against your ribs, so utterly alive. “We’re both idiots, aren’t we?”
His lips twitch upward. After a moment, he begins to chuckle, and the weight on his shoulders seems to dissolve before your eyes. You begin to laugh too, simply out of the sheer relief of finally realizing that the past few days are now behind both of you. 
“In case it isn’t obvious, Jeon Wonwoo, I’ve been in love with you too.” You whisper. He leans forward, resting his forehead against yours. Where before, he was afraid to look at you, now, it seems it’s all he can do. The fondness in his gaze is enough to bring anyone to their knees.
“Thank God,” he whispers back. You just stay there, basking in the moment, letting the joy finally seep itself into bones that have been weighed by resignation for so long. After a while, you begin to pull away, only you catch how Wonwoo’s gaze drops down as you do. You pause, gazing at him questioningly.
There’s a minute tremble in his hands as he reaches for your face, brushing your cheek with his fingers. His thumb traces a line on your jaw. He leans in, but stops, watching your reaction first before closing the distance all the way.
Though his approach was hesitant, the kiss itself is anything but. His hands find your cheek, then your neck, then your waist, pulling you further forward. You thread your fingers through his hair, both to bring him closer and to anchor yourself. There’s the faint taste of spicy broth, but you don’t care, knowing you’re the same anyway.
“That was hell of a gamble for Valentine’s,” you murmur once he pulls away, shaking your head. “Why now? How long have you known?”
Wonwoo just smiles. “It’s been a few months since either of us had a partner. And after the last one, when I was made to choose…they called me out on how unfair I was being, trying to be with them even as they knew I was in love with someone else.”
Your breath catches in your throat even as he continues.
“I tried to deny it, at the time, but they knew even before I did.” he finishes. He tilts his head and leans forward, closing the distance again. It’s more insistent now, the hands on your waist fully pulling you onto his lap. Wonwoo’s teeth nip at your lower lip, and you gasp. It shifts from chaste into something more demanding; his hands wander, fingers trailing paths of fire as they run across your back and grip your waist, as though he were finally releasing everything that had been pent up in him until this moment. 
He swallows you into himself, and you allow yourself to be pulled into his passion. His mouth moves, latching down onto your neck and sucking. A quiet, shuddering moan leaves your lips. Wonwoo freezes. He pulls away, stricken, looking at you.
“Sorry,” he rasps. “I took it too far.” His hair is mussed, lips swollen and puffy. Something in your stomach stirs as you look at him like this—a Wonwoo you’d never seen before. A Wonwoo who is like this because of you. “I—”
You kiss him again, just because you can. Just a small thing, a tender reassurance. Pulling away, you smile. Absently, you play with the short strands of hair at his nape. “You’re okay. I don’t think I’m up for anything, er, more, tonight, but can we please keep kissing.”
After a beat, he chuckles, shoulders relaxing as his thumbs trace circles on your waist. Wonwoo leans in, lets your lips meet again in a slow dance, almost lazy. Like you finally have all the time in the world.
“Okay. But maybe after dinner and brushing our teeth. I’m still hungry.”
“Deal.”
Behind your ribs, the bird flies, finally free.
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skunkes · 2 months ago
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reaching a point where im liking my art and range and flexibility with styles (kinda !) and stylization and its like ok now what do i do with that. I wish my ocs were more interesting/that i could MAKE them so...!
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todayisafridaynight · 5 months ago
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i’m pretty surprised that you can be in a fandom without really checking the tags regularly for new content or discussions that’s pretty impressive
ive got twitter for that and twitter has shown me enough as is
#snap chats#i dont even check twitter specifically for rgg its just that my algorithms been formed that way cause friends send me tweets#on the real though jvALEKJEKL ive always. how you say. played with dolls alone#so being alone online isnt hard or anything particularly 'impressive' to me its just how i roll#ive always lived in my head i guess- with my interests that is. its fun up there vlkeajkla#i still like to hear from other people of course but for the most part im happy with just myself im not all that pressed for others#i think its also just. i have. other interests? so i dont really think i want to look at One Particular Thing that day. at least for tumblr#i MIGHT just cause thats how the day goes but i dont think 'i feel like looking at rgg art today'#whatever i see I See and that'll be that yk i love a lot of things and think of a lot of things#evidently SOME things take a hold of me more than others- or ill wanna be more public bout it at least#but thats jsut cause i just feel SO MUCH for Whatever Thing It Is At The Time that i want to share it. so then i do jvlskjs#with that in mind can i really say im 'in' a fandom when i dont particularly interact with it LMAO#again always happy to do so but im like an estranged uncle if anything#come over once a year to drop gifts off then i leave. ill still respond to holiday cards though if theyre sent#also for discussions ill usually just talk to my brother about it since he'll usually be The Main Sponge for my rambling LOLOL#god's strongest soldier i promise i try to hold back but im afraid i feel my brain physically tickle my skull#my brother always has to watch in real time me be consumed by a piece of media. like its a symbiote its really funny#cause at this point we'll meet in the kitchen and ill start like 'you know whats really funny..'#and he'll just. 'ok so who's it about today' LIKE PLEAAAASSSEEE. anyways prepare for my ninth 90 minute lecture about This Character#i also have a friend that i talk about my interests with- not all the time but enough that im like. Yeah Im Good Talkin Bout This#like the dopamine in my brain is activated JUST enough when i get to have quick short convos bout it with her#honestly maybe i should use my blacklisted main and rb ALL of my sideblog posts there#just so the people following that can Also witness me be consumed in real time <- will not do this
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nickbutnodick · 9 months ago
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orcelito · 1 month ago
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Survived today fine. Just chilling now.
Ordered a new bridge for my violin. Current one is kinda bent (from age, I think) and I think it's affecting my sound quality. It's supposed to come in on Saturday, along with some mutes (both for performing and also for practicing. First for making it quiet while playing a song and second to make it quieter in general so you're less disruptive while practicing. I think.) and also some sand paper. Because I'm probably gonna have to sand the legs of the bridge some to adjust it to my violin's shape.
I've never replaced a bridge before. I've put one back *on* after at least one time of accidentally knocking it out one way or another. Kinda really inconvenient. Gotta loosen all the strings, position it, then re-tune the entire thing. So that part is inconvenient, but familiar. But the sanding it into shape....... well, I might look up an instructional video or something. Just in case. It seems like it'd be pretty intuitive, but better to be safe than sorry.
#speculation nation#yknow now that i think about it it probably is pretty much time#i dont know what's standard for violin maintenance but i think it's the same bridge ive had since i got this violin in 8th grade#which was. back in 2010. 15 years ago....#the violin overall is in perfectly fine shape. though i wonder if i should change the other strings at some point.#i changed the G because i had to. because it broke. the others are currently fine but hmmm#idk i'll pay attention to if they start sounding weird. the G was sounding weird before it snapped back then.#im also Pretty sure im suppsed to get the bow's hairs redone at some point... but it's still fine?? i think.#ive never been the type to press hard enough to snap hairs very often. though maybe thats not a good thing#idk im just. thinking#i really want to Stay in the habit of playing even after this semester ends.#it's felt like reconnecting with an old piece of my core identity. i was an active violinist from ages 11 through 19#and even in the time since then ive still Called myself a violinist. bc that kind of thing never leaves you.#my left arm is Still more flexible than my right one. can bend further up behind my back and everything.#but it's also... not the same as Actively playing. it feels right and wrong at the same time.#it feels *right* but it doesnt feel as natural as it used to. im too out of practice. fumbling fingers trying so hard.#trying to not get frustrated with myself when the person in front of me plays so beautifully without any hesitation.#im sleep deprived. and incredibly out of practice. but im taking measures to improve things.#the bridge will help i think. i kept getting thrown off by the sound today. on lower strings it almost sounded like smth was rattling.#and when i install the new bridge on saturday i will practice. until i at least know what im supposed to be playing.#i wont embarrass myself again. i will *not* be so lost next time. my pride as a violinist demands it.#i may be severely out of practice but i was once the 4th best violinist of my high school. i can get that good again.
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girlivealwaysbean · 4 months ago
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sometimes my boobs hurt so much i think they're gonna bleed surely this is normal right
#i think im pmsing.. but im not sure#like the dates aligned but also they've been super irregular hence the whole pcod etc#like im already wearing a size 38 bra because of all this fucking weight gain#and even that feels tight?? like the next size available was free size😭😭#but like it feels normal good even everyday just from the past two days it's been hurting like hell#and fucking worst festivsl of the year so i can't even stay in my room bra off all day#but oh god why do they pain so much it's never been like this before ive been having periods since i was 11 and im 21 now#maybe another pcod uhh idk side effect? symptom? whatever it's called#and i definitely have that pms wali feeling#i mean i haven't broken down yet but#you know that feeling when you WANT something but you don't know what and you try everything but nothing works#like i ate pasta i ate ice cream i studied and accomplished my targets i slept a lot i watched comfort show#i even washed my hair and danced to so many songs today morning while booping#but then it keeps crashing#and it's not enough#don't ask me what's it because even i do not know#i think i want. a hug. i guess#but from my bestfriend#because me and my sister keep fighting and i don't think she's really understanding me rn#but i think she's (bsf) avoiding talking to me because she's getting back together with her shitty boyfriend#i want to call and whine and say fuck that i don't care just talk to me but#i can't#the thought of asking for help needing people is. wow it's genuinely making me puke#i hate hate HATE being pathetic and needy#sometimes i wish#i mean obviously i would prefer it if i was perfectly healthy qnd normal and fine#but sometimes i wish someone just looked at me and said#oh honey how are you carrying so much sadness inside you and hiding it so well?? how are you even functioning???? how are you not#on the floor wailing and crying and unable to get up?#like you need [insert idk pills or whatever the cure is] BADLY
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salsa-di-pomodoro · 2 years ago
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If lady sneasler went back home with Ingo i think eventually she would want to try battling with him. I mean it looks fun, everyone tells her it's a good bonding moment for both trainer and Pokémon and it's a golden opportunity to show off, why not? Who's going to stop her, the pearl clan?
Ingo takes a bit of convincing, out of respect for both her and the traditions of the pearl clan, but he relents eventually. He can't deny he's been wanting to do this as well. After a bit of training they have the time of their life destroying people's (read: Emmet, the elite four, other Frontier Brains and generally just other strong trainers (sorry i didn't include Elesa. I love her very much but she is not on their level methinks 😔. Id love to be proven wrong tho)) teams, with a mix of Ingo's old and new team and her as the ace for once in unregulated matches. (Turns out, noble Pokémon naturally have insane stats and therefore cannot partecipate in league matches or official battles. Ingo has to nerf sneasler/the rest of his team or use less Pokémon as a result, but he loves the challenge. He's thrilled when people defeat him.)
(Emmet takes this as a challenge. As long as his Pokémon are on board, he's building his way up to defeating Ingo when they're not holding back. He gets scarily close every time.)
I ran out of space in the tags but blankshippers dni pls. Let's stay in our respective lanes and not interact
#ive been feeling good today!!! good enough to think this up :)#also who else thinks ingo would get some kind of certification for lady sneasler to show that while she might live with him#and be in his pokeball and his team occasionally she is still not his pokemon. kinda like meowth from team rocket#shes there because she wants to beyond just being his Pokémon. do you understand me#anyway yeah there has to be some kind of certification for sorta emancipated (?) Pokémon. do you mean to tell me#that pokemon who have been proven to be more intelligent than humans sometimes are not allowed to just partecipate in society#with their own pokeball in their own hands. paws. whatever#maintagging this feel free to tell me ideas about this. do not send me angst i will explode <3 (serious)#subway boss ingo#warden ingo#ingo and emmet#ingo#emmet#subway boss emmet#lady sneasler#sneasler#btw yeah my headcanon is she absolutely does come back with him shes not losing the only people who actually treat her like a normal person#she might love throwing her title around but damn she'd love if they stopped walking on eggshells around her#she ran put of patience when she met ingo basically lmao#yes this is based on that one post where they say this exact thing. i really like that post#don't know if i should tag elesa or anyone else. there is something going on with her i know it in my soul but idk what it is.#shes very excited about this whole thing whether or not she can safely fight sneasler though. yeah sure ill tag her why not#also once more headcanon time i think pokemon from hisui need to go through training to not absolutely maul modern day pokemon#not because theyre stronger or anything. a modern pokemon could absolutely maul you to death. its just that theyre more used to#self restraint for the human's sake. and therefore would not fight as viciously and may get hurt#Ingo already kinda did this in hisui (and still kicked everyones ass. man they may have been getting better but they were still mostly bad#at battling. he could trust that theyd get even better tho)#anyway but yeah he has to do it again with sneasler and the alphas.#theyre too used to having to kick ass or die and theyre also Stupidly Strong#submas
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phagodyke · 6 months ago
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ah shit only just realised its september now.... lets hope the rest of this month isn't like this.....
#just med shit innit. gonna force myself up at my usual work time even tho i have the day off bc I need to be in my routine or ill lose it#i am. very tired and very sad. and thats ok generally im ok ive been keeping myself so busy for weeks and weeks#and im glad im going out n doing shit often n meeting new ppl n trying to focus more on hobbies n get more on the life balance#but whenever i have a moment to stop i still get so sad. ik exactly why theyre all just old aches n wounds i dont want to wallow in them!!#lately its been well under control i only usually have one actual bad day a week and sometimes its not even a whole day#and the rest im.just busy and i dont know if im just avoiding things and its not satisfying being busy bc im still missing out needs#but i cant fulfil them so might as well stay busy and not think about it!!#and its okay its all okay im just so sad right now :-( but im going to sleep soon and then ill be busy tmr so i dont have to think abt it#i wanna ventpost abt it but also i dont rly want to bc findinf the words to talk abt the things distressing me involves thinking abt it#which will just.make me feel worse. and it wont resolve anything bc its all mostly outside of my control anyway just hurts innit#but im trying hard to make my life bigger than it was before even if its still shallow and not quite enough at least it covers more space#yeah yeah we all want to feel genuine connection and wanted and loved but life doesnt often work out like that so.#hands in your pockets player keep it moving. im goiny to brush my teeth and then rly need to go to bed zzzzz#.diaries#hope everyone else had a nice weekend i had a pretty good saturday at least. and played a lot of videogames today so could be worse#very glad i dont have work tomorrow as well thank u past me for booking it off ahh..
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thedeviljudges · 6 months ago
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how am i supposed to go back to work on monday like my life hasn't literally changed this past week lmaooooo like what
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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...
#i was looking through old photos today. they where from wjen i was like 1 and it made me so sad#bc my mum would have been like only a year or 2 older then i am now and she looked so young#and now she has an abdomen full of tumors and blistered hands and feet. theyre prob gonna hsve to remove her bladder#but shes still very pragmatic abt it. but she grew up in a house where no one really cared about her feelings so she made them small#and now her mother calls and doesn't ask how her grandkids are doing and doesn't ask how her daughter is doing. im cursed with terrible#grandparents on both sides but i resent my mothers mother worse. though my dad said i probably wouldnt have survived his upbringing#and hes right. my nana has like zero empathy and cant cook for shit. idk how my parents r so normal but the fact i had a good upbringing is#probably the only reason im still here. and thats the other thing that made me sad abt the old pics. just looking at this little baby with a#fucked up head and thinking: in 25 years that kid is gonna b so broken down their not gonns kno what to do or how to fix it. idk whats wrong#with me. ive always been some stage of miserable but i used to b able to get things done. and now i cant seem to force functionality#and it sucks. bc im home now and i still feel like im cringing around this open wound in my chest. but whatever#as of today ive started taking ab1lify. hopefully it helps in the long term but in the short term it triggers my 0cd. which is not fun#its so frustrating. whatever. i also found out my eyes used to not work together. not enough to have a lazy eye but it was hard for me to#read and apparently my eyes were tracking at like double the speed of a normal person. wtf is wrong with my brain? also also my mum was like#yea i never would have guessed bip0lar but we thought it was something. autism i could see 100% but yea didnt see that coming. ao i guess#i brehave like a bit of an oddball. ans my nana would bother my dad to try to make me participate in church and my dad was like no. she#clearly don't wanna b here lol. ay. they did the best they could which i appreciate#unrelated
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just-spacetrash · 1 year ago
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💔
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alxclaremont · 7 months ago
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there are two wolves inside of you: one feels impending doom at the thought of tomorrow’s race. the other feels immensely hopeful that oscar will get his first win tomorrow or at the very least a mclaren 1-2. you are a formula one fan.
#i’m literally about to fucking throw up#this race doesnt even start for another 8 hours but i feel actually sick#like this is keeping me up#(yes i have a TOTALLY normal and healthy relationship with this sport)#you guys literally dont even understand the ways of which i need oscar to get his first win tomorrow#like i can literally feel it in my bones i just KNOW he can do it#like i know he can and i really feel like tomorrow is the day for it#however i am very very scared that the more i keep thinking about it and saying it the more i am jinxing it#like i’m literally imagining everything that could possibly go wrong#but i’m also beautifully imagining the way that oscar is going to get a perfect start and overtake lando (so sorry lando)#and build a big enough gap to where he can win the race#i need the mclaren pitwall to lock the fuck in today like i am nowhere near joking when i say i will start hysterically sobbing#if they fuck it up#alternatively i will start hysterically sobbing if oscar/lando wins so really theres no winning for me in that sense#but also i cannot even imagine the amount of pressure that both lando and oscar must be under right now#like i do not know how they do it because imagining it is further making me sick#me when i develop an anxious attachment style to two drivers and also an entire sport#lol#didnt have that on my 2024 bingo#anyway so im lraying to fucking god that the race goes okay because otherwise im killing myself#and i think i am perfectly valid in saying that#im also getting lunch with my two other friends who watch f1 a few hours after the race tomorrow#so regardless the race is going to be talked about but it will very much vary oh whether or not its good or bad#anyway im going to stop talking about this now because ive been doing nothing but talking about it all day#and i like genuinely need to shut the fuck up#SO i am going to hopefully go to sleep#we’ll see how this ends up going for me#lacey talks
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writing poetry sometimes feels like you gotta cut yourself open to express it idk smear all your organs all over the page and hope somebody else reads something beautiful. is that like divination the way it's expressed in various places and things? I dunno. poetry never slides off your skin like water off a duck's back. it's from within I think. sometimes you have to tear yourself apart to get at the words and sometimes it just wells up from within and gushes out. always from somewhere deep inside. sometimes it's difficult and horrible and painful but the alternative would be worse. sometimes it's from sheer joy that must overflow into words. I think that's beautiful personally. skin splitting from joy. it happens, I think, to us all at some point. or maybe I'm just a creature of extremes. maybe that online test I did because a friend recommended it is true. it said my symptoms were high. I don't know. maybe it is true, maybe it's not. I read a book once where there was a character named Nathan Hill-and-Dale, and while I'm not nearly as extreme as he was portrayed, in my extremes, I know I'm a fairly volatile person. funny, for most people who see me IRL seem to think that I'm fairly calm. nope, I'm a volcano. watch out, even when I'm apparently calm I might blow up one way or the other. one of my residents' family members said today that I was young and bubbly and she was glad to see it because happiness is the prerogative of the young. a part of me wished I told her. I have actively tried to kill myself once; I have come extremely close to the same actions countless times including yesterday; I would sooner hurt myself than others; if I had my own choice I would simply starve. of course I didn't tell her. sometimes I think I'll never get better. at this point I would consider it a very high chance that I will either die by suicide or end up in hospital following an attempt. not now, of course. but despite my fierce love for my course it has stress associated with it and I think that it's very likely that no psych help on earth would fix my mental health enough for that not to be an option mentally in this short time. I think it's possible to recover from all of the things I struggle with. God help me, I hope it is. the real question is whether I will survive long enough to recover from them. and the answer? I know not. I was reminded of a past interaction with the boy today, where he called my name - I turned - his grandfather, a photographer, was waiting to see if he could get a decent photo, for we were at a church conference and he was trying to get photos everywhere. they were laughing. I could not help but laugh. that memory is tainted now, for he would not look at me now, let alone try to pull such a stunt again. I don't blame him. I don't blame anyone for it. I wonder what would happen if I blocked all my friends on discord; who would seek me out? part of me hopes people would, another part hopes they would not. sometimes I just want to be left alone to curl up and die. it would be easier. so much easier than living, and living, and living. I tried writing poetry just now. it felt like trying to cut myself open, I couldn't get the words out. it only made me feel rather wild. I'm desperate for change, for something. something. what is that something? I don't know. did you know I'm a sadist? I would not in a public place express the thoughts that led me to that conclusion. but I am. I wish I wasn't. there's an obvious solution to that. quick, and easy. so easy. too easy. I tried writing poetry, and then instead of writing anything coherent, I wrote this.
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waywardsalt · 8 months ago
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anyways. holding linebeck gently
#some assorted untagged linebeck thoughts tonight cuz hey why not its been a Day of ups and downs and he’s been there in my mind#sometime this month i do want to make some images of him w/ the pride flags of my hcs so general gay and then mlm and then intersex#general post ph crew rundown theres linebeck and then damien is bi and trans and bellum doesnt fucking care and link is figuring it out#so its half we got it and half man i have other things to worry about#i feel like you put linebeck and midna in a room and they are gay/lesbian buddies mlm/wlw solidarity thats what they are to me#anyways. revisited my post abt possession aftermath effects. you can probably tell i enjoy hurt/comfort/whump#smth darkly funny to me abt extremely sick and delirious linebeck and worried link kinda hanging out in his room#with link being like i bet youll be fine!!! you’re recover youre fine. and linebeck just saying kid i have rabies symptoms#anyways he lives hes fine he survives the magic squid rabies. to calm the characters nerves and my own ive decided that once hes well enoug#linebeck and link decide to visit the fairy queen to get some kinda divine checkup and to get the closure of. linebeck is fine he’s fine#nothing malicious is lingering youre good just. get some more bed rest#i do like the idea that when hes got some minor injury to the degree of some little papercur linebeck is incredibly bitchy and whatnot#and then when he’s in genuine danger of dying he’s eerily chill abt it. while recovering from possession one day when he can walk he just#chills on the deck when theres no breeze just smoking. ofc hes terrified inside but fuck if hes going to be obvious abt it (when lucid)#could tie that to his trauma n whatever ig but rn i dont have the energy to really think on it idk hes had enough bad injuries#and has found that when hes actively distressed crying out and whatnot didnt really get people to help#like its smth he learned early on his brother was there and there was just enough but like yknow. wasnt ingrained ig#thats a different thing to be lumped into the idea of him learning that its fine to be more vulnerable abt what you feel n need n want#prob smth he practices with link i mean damien is good but he needs to learn to listen instead of assume for that first bit#uhhh. earlier today i almost made a vent post but didnt but i think the gist was god i need to stop comparing other loz things to my iwn#bc it never never ends well. anyways. uhhh. came up with a possible post ph story arc for bellum n link#and decided to revive an older one with link and linebeck. post ph is really really just its own thing tbh#ofc meant to be a sorta fan sequel thing but between the disregarding of canon sequel stuff and not really adhering to the feeling n whatno#its just its own thing and i like it. ill prob delete this later
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dinopant · 8 months ago
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Gonna watch doctor sleep, jerk off and forget im lonely
#i literally have a problem#i just hung out with ppl today#i got to socialize and talk to beautiful girls#iv had a good day#and the moment im alone in my house im miserable again#there something rooted deep in me that i dont know how to fix i think#sorry im being melodramatic#but im sick of working and spending 90% of my free time alone#i can do alone! i can do it im a big boy#and i can handle and do it#but i wish someone was excited for the next time we got to see each other or talk to each other#that wanted to spend their time with me#its the adhd acting up again#i literally have this probably every few months and have a fucking melt down because im not the important person in anyones life#but im about to be 25#and iv never been in love with anyone who was able to love me back#which isnt their problem its my own#i just get infatuated with ppl who im not their type or im just not a fit for the life they want#which is fine thatst just how it is#but iv been getting sad realizing the few times iv been infatuated enough to consider it romantic feelings of love#its always been to ppl im well aware im not built for#i can love them all i want but that wont change the fact that im just not what they want or what they need#and i just keep having to tell myself that its ok and im fine with it because i have to be#everyone tells me to just go for it#but i know already i wont get anything out of it but heartache#i may be a bit thick and not always aware when someone is interested in me until they say it to my face straight up#but i think im p good at telling when someone has NO interest in me ykno#i can look at someone i like and someone i know and see their interest and life and know im not meant to fit into it that way#so i shouldnt bother them with this going after it nonsense ykno#but idk where else to go
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qumiiiquinnquin · 1 year ago
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ill never be good enough at anything
#vent#events of today only proved it#im genuinely so close to giving up completely#i dont feel happy when I draw because I know its not good enough and im ashamed when others see it because I know they think the same thing#I dont feel satisfied or accomplished when finishing schoolwork because I know others will have done it better and responded better and im#the stupidest person of the entire class. some things I just dont understand but I know everyone else or lots of others did#i cant do anything right. i cant socialize correctly. i cant remember to do anything. i cant keep any stable relationships#i know if i get a job they'll ly me off or fire me within days max weeks. i dont expect to be able to hold down a job for long#i dont have the skills necessary to become what I want to be which is a meteorologist. i struggle in math and that career is a lot of math#i actually want to be an artist too but ill die a lonely death. i cant even do this class. and artists are not paid enough to survive#hell what I do right now with art in my spare time is much worse than others. a mouse and microsoft paint. both arent good enough#i cant not compare myself to others. i know that they're all better than me. and im around these people every day and see it on social medi#i really want to put my art in our shredder and permanently delete files. i want to drop out. i dont know what to do with myself because i#know that im not good enough for anything except lay in bed like the depressed piece of shit i am and end up getting kicked out#i thought about just leaving class today and throwing myself down the stairwell from the top floor i was already on#just over the barrier thats right next to the first flight of stairs that prevents people from falling off the stairs from a height#the one you can look down and see the following flight of stairs. just throw myself down from that and hurt myself significantly.#ive been thinking about jumping again. from a new part of campus thats higher than where i initially wanted to fall from#if not those then sl!t my wrist or run into traffic#i just need to d!e. There's no room for someone as worthless as me#i cried when I came home today because im just done. i cant carry on and itd be better if i didnt. itd be preferred.
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