#i think its a lot of emotional backlog

[nickbutnodick]

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[spurious]

Your McShep fics are giving me life. I'm CRAVING McShep content recently - its so hard to discover a love for old fandoms that are now less active! Please send me all the great other McShep fics you stumble across, I've burned my way through your whole library

Oh my goodness!!!! This ask plus the one from a few weeks ago are really telling me I need to get back to doing fic rec posts regularly!!!!!

First of all thank you so much for your kind words about my fic 💖💖💖💖 honestly for me SGA fandom feels soooo active, even though I know it was an actual juggernaut back in the day lmao. BUT that means that there’s a MASSIVE backlog of stuff to read!!!! Just insane amounts of staggeringly good fics!!!!

And second of all you can check all my previous rec posts here: the tag is sometimes ficlets I’ve reblogged but also lots of links and lists in there!!

ANYWAY. Let me see if I can rustle up some new recs for you my friend! I have a couple of unposted recs in my notes so we’ll pop those in first:

Five People Who Know by hestia_lacey | ~4k, rated E

Five people who know exactly how John Sheppard feels about Rodney McKay.

Only read this if you’re prepared to have your heart stomped on, but ahhhhhhhh. The first part, with Jeannie, is definitely my favorite.

Wishes on a Wheel by waterfalliam | ~3.2k, rated T

The sun is gentle, faintly wrong against his skin. The wind whispers against his arms and neck that he’s alive and that counts for something, he’s never wholly alone, he still has himself—but it’s nothing like the sea breeze that feels like home.

Absolutely beautifully sad introspective Epiphany!John piece, dealing with his depression and feelings of abandonment, with a sweet ending 💖

Solitary by @esteefee | ~5k, rated M

Four days in solitary gives a guy time to think. Unless he's an idiot.

Aggggh the John voice in this is immaculate (as is to be expected from esteefee ofc). Sardonically funny with a soft and chewy emotional core that just...takes a little time and a little chipping away at to get to. But, you know, worth it.

Followed by two faves from this year’s sga secret santa, both of them variations on the theme of John and Rodney making up:

In the Dark of the Night by @hero-in-waiting | ~5.8k, rated M

The problem with arguments is that they never happen at a good time. Which is a to be expected given their nature. And the problem with trying to make up is, at least in the Pegasus galaxy, they come at an even worst time. Especially when John and Rodney get stuck off world, running from some locals who took a dislike to them immediately and five days after an argument that, in John's opinion, had started over nothing.

But at least they were together?

Love the concept of this one, love them being forced into life or death situations before being able to talk about their feelings, looooove the misunderstanding on Rodney’s part 🥰🥹

When I Think of All the Worries That People Seem to Find by @audioletter | ~2.3k, rated G

After ten years of being together, John acts like John and Rodney acts like Rodney.

Absolutely cried reading this I love it so much. The depth of knowledge that they have for each other after so long is so apparent in the best, most beautiful way.

Aaaand let’s round it out with a nice long one:

Inukshuk by murron | ~80k, rated M

A mission-gone-south isolates Rodney and John from the rest of the team. Forced to search for an Ancient outpost, they struggle to keep each other alive until the time their kidnappers prepare to sacrifice the one and purify the other.

This is absolutely a mcshep fic but I almost found that taking a backseat for me in my enjoyment of the way that the plot unfolds, the way that it’s written? Absolutely spellbinding work, I struggled to put it down.

[the-fiction-witch]

I am not sure how to start this, or even what exactly to say let alone how to say it. And I've already had a bit of a breakdown and a bit of a cry over this so I am trying very hard not to be emotional.

But here we go,

Recently I have started to receive comments, replies and Inbox asks not only here but across my accounts relating to the big bad.

AI

I am not going to be tagging or posting any account names or anything like that, I don't feel it fair and I don't want anyone going to these accounts and saying anything negative, and I don't want these accounts to feel bad for what could be an honest mistake.

But the long and short of it is that these comments, asks, replies etc. Are saying my work is written with AI.

I didn't want to say anything about this cause at first I thought it was ridiculous, and I didn't want to start replying to things like this, as I know it is a slippery slope before I start replying to everyone who ever says anything negative and I know that's never a good plan.

But I felt compelled to speak now due to the volume of stuff I am receiving as well as that other accounts are now starting to speak up for me and I don't want these original accounts to get any hate or any trouble for as I said what could be an honest mistake.

For complete and utter transparency, so I never have to answer these things again,

No. My posts are not written by an AI.

I am a real person, who really writes.

I use Grammarly as an editor which does have a built-in generative AI, which as far as I know only helps with spelling and I have used it maybe a handful of times to rewrite or help me edit longer works, but Generative AI with Grammarly isn't free its a part of their premium plan which I don't have so I know its not possible for me to use it much.

I'll be honest these comments have really made me upset because I put a lot of work into all my content and it really makes me upset to think people might find my account through one of these posts, see these comments and then not read anything else of mine assuming I'm an AI writer, that I put a lot of time and work into posting daily and making sure I have a backlog of content ready to be posted currently I work about a month in advance for a lot of things, that people are saying these things about me.

I have been writing on this account specifically since March of 2016, and had been writing on my last account for several years even before that. I have been making content now for over ten years. I am not even sure AI was around two years ago, let alone ten. I work for commission and most of what I post is legitimately work people have commissioned from me.

This is my job, my full-time job. That I have been doing through the thick and thin of a large part my life now. And... not to be dramatic but it is stuff like this that makes me wonder if I should stay and keep doing this, if I sit and spend hours of my day, every day, making content for the first reply to be accusing me of being/using an AI.

It just... makes me really not want to make content,

I don't want to stop cause so many amazing people that say such beautiful things that make me cry with joy, even feeling giddy just when someone reblogs my work. But it is stuff like this that sounds so loud against everything else.

But thats my two cents on the matter, that's my defence, my answer, and how I feel about it. And I don't want to feel the need to bring this up again.

Please don't go looking for these comments, please don't send anything to people who've made them, on here or any other site I've received them.

And as always more content will be coming in the following days.

[bthump]

hi bthump! I just recently binged berserk and stumbled onto all your writings - really loving working through all your analyses!! thank you for all that you do!

I had a question that I've been trying to turn over in my head, what do you think about Guts' feelings towards Casca? To me, the way I read the story its always seemed that Griffith (since GA fr sure) has been the sole person that Guts has 100% romantically+ platonically loved in that soulmate kind of way. Sure, casca is very important to guts as a friend, comrade, fellow survivor of all they've been through, but i have trouble really reading guts feelings towards her as truly romantic... I do think Casca herself caught real feelings for guts, but in all their scenes together I kind of read Guts interactions with her as him processing.. his own trauma in a way? like take whole cave thing, where they even kiss and have sex; when i think of that scene i really think of it less as, casca and guts getting Together as a couple. but rather two friends sharing their traumas together in a mutually healing sort of way. the fact that they do get physically intimate together doesn't necessarily mean that guts actually is in love with her I believe. like I think that whole scene just touches on that trope of how lots of men are Only able to bare themselves emotionally/share their traumas through physical intimacy— usually with a woman.

And especially right now as it stands in the story I definitely think that guts doesn't see her romantically at all... and the sole reason guts feels strongly about getting her memory back isn't because he's hoping to get his "lover" back but rather simply feels like he wants to do right by his close friend and comrade, especially how particularly horrible and traumatic the eclipse was for her.

am i being delusional!!

Thanks for the ask! lol yeah I definitely agree with you.

I don't think Guts is in love with Casca, and I think that's pretty apparent in how he behaves throughout the story. Their sex scene definitely had a friends hooking up vibe to me, and they're probably meant to have potential as a couple in theory, but in practice it's totally unrealized.

In case you're interested, I'm gonna link you some posts I've written on the subject of their relationship rather than get into it in detail, because I have a big backlog on this topic lol.

The constrast between Guts and Judeau's feelings towards Casca and how Guts' and Casca's relationship contains some unbalanced feelings and emotional misunderstandings

What Judeau orchestrating their relationship suggests about it

The sex scene as repression

The sex scene as rebounding from Griffith

How you can read Guts and Casca's relationship is a misstep for the characters

How their relationship fails to affect Guts

A list of reasons Guts has for taking Casca to Elfhelm that doesn't include true love

A list of Guts' bad behaviour towards Casca that points away from true love

Thoughts on the scene where Roderick asks about their relationship

[castlebyersafterdark]

i find the argument about will as a tragic character to be very interesting because though ST itself isnt trying to be down and out and is inspired by wholesome films, the idea that writers hate their characters or are morally bad people by writing tragic characters and deaths is just simply not true. i mean, look at shakespeare lol. he's putting his characters through the ringer! ofc the difference is that a tragedy is usually a fall from grace whereas will never had his happy beginning, or happy middle, for it to become a tragic ending. but its always odd when fans of all ships say things like 'why do you want mike to be a liar?' or 'why do you want will to end up unhappy?' or 'why do you want el to be sad and alone?' for that matter. erm... because its more interesting and exciting than whatever you have planned? lmao. i genuinely wonder what these people (mlevens) are thinking, like what planet are they on that s5 would just have mike and el with no conflict and all happy and well????????????

sorry if im preaching to the choir while youre away on vacay lol

(I am still working through the backlog of asks from August oops)

But this is something to keep in mind and one of the big things I also focus on when staying positive and taking to heart the way I've chosen to interpret and predict the series ending storylines and arc. It would be odd for the series to ultimately end as a total tragedy. I think anything terribly tragic happening to Will - or Mike - makes zero. It's an 80s homage! Action and horror! But, adventure focused, mystery focused. They just... cannot kill off either, it's not a drama. Even a temporary death or fake out is fine, but they come back. They triumph and live. These two boys were introduced from the beginning in this connection and the goal was for Mike to bring Will back alive. HOW do you end the show with one of them dead? So, this is not a worry I have. A lot of people read the show so wrong and thing it'll happen. That's goofy. It's just not genre savvy and it's not like things can't break rules, but this isn't... how Stranger Things will break rules and expectations. That's literally what Byler itself is for. It's so annoying and basic and small brained that so many casual watchers (and even some superfans) think the only interesting thing that can happen in a show is death. What about life? What about love? Those seem more likely for this particular show and far more interesting. It's so easy to kill off characters for emotional impact. The more impactful story is showing us the way that they are able to live.

[colorcodedbeanies]

S2E2-"Grilled"

Long pause between updates there. I've backlogged a bunch of episode notes that I'll hopefully be releasing in batches.

TW: Racism, elder abuse, ableism

Ok so I took these notes a few days ago and the first thing that greets me is "car looks like its fucking the sand", with the sub point "put that in the post". I hope this provides insight into the rigorous intellectual process I work with.

The cop scene is basically an endless series of hits, enough that its difficult to not just transcribe it fully. Tuco's head is mounted on a shooting target by Hank, who talks floridly about interrogating his meth-hag girlfriend and then does a whole routine about apologizing to hr for using the word "hard-on" in the presence of ladies, which is frankly only further fuel to the fire in terms of eroticism literally being criminal in Breaking Bad. He comments on Mexico, saying to general agreement "We all know what's going on down there. We sure as hell don't want it going on up here." which is just. Very interesting considering next episode is going to open with two men illegally crossing the border. Finally, when Gomez asks him if he really thinks they'll track him down, he laughs it off, commenting that its about "keeping up appearances". If he's implying that most of the DEA's work is about the appearance of stopping bad guys and saving good guys....well! He said it not me.

Skyler is hesitant about describing Walter as depressed, especially in front of his son. Even in front of the guy who (theoretically) is trying to find him and needs information, saving the face of the middle class white patriarch takes precedence. She softens it to simple stress. This is echoed again later when Marie blurts out Hank's knowledge about the second cellphone. Sure, Hank is very possibly trying not to add more emotional strain onto his sister-in-law. But he's also denying her information (and in his mind, possibly even covering for Walt's affair). They may be more comfortable possibly letting him die than they are ruining his image as a good family man.

I didn't expect to emerge out of this as a WaltTuco truther but literally what am I meant to take from Walt momentarily imagining Tuco as Skyler appearing to him and telling him that she understands.

The yard is littered with a lot of broken toys. While I'm not super thrilled with the way this visually suggests Hector as another "broken" thing in the house, I do think it lends itself into an understanding of Tuco as ultimately, a bit of an overgrown child. I don't say that to be infantilizing. Trauma, especially as a child, can freeze up your mental development a little bit. Tuco tends to approach his circumstances with a very simply and childlike logic. His paranoia (tragically unable to ever catch the actual threats) is his special powers, his visions of the future. While talking about No-Doze and Gonzo he's clearly seeking out some absolution, insisting "I was good to him! I was good!". None of this, of course, makes Tuco any less dangerous or unstable. But he's a lot more vulnerable than Walt (or arguably, the audience) gives him credit for. He takes personal betrayals of his love aso wildly personally, and seeks escape in drugs when he fails to threaten people into staying loyal to him.

So there's a clear disability horror going on with Hector. The first level of that is inherently ableism, implying that there's something unsettling about being in the proximity of someone with an atypical body and atypical means of expression. The second level (and I believe the unintentional one) is the horror movie happening inside Hector's own perspective, seeing a threat to someone who you, in your own fucked up way, love, and being unable to effectively communicate about it because Tuco is not intuitive with how he approaches Hector's communication needs. Regardless I think it is important that treating Hector like an object fucks over everyone, Walt, Jesse, Tuco, and Hank in the next episode.

Speaking of ableism, though, in a rare Jesse L he does briefly position his life as inherently more valuable than Walt's, because Walt's going to be dead soon anyways. Notably Walt does advocate for his life in a way that he did not when chemo was on the table. Still, Jesse, there are so many better reasons Walt should kill himself for your sake.

At this point I don't even need to do analysis, I can just tell you Skyler says "Marie, you don't get hooked on pot like that" and you can put the pieces together yourself. Post-War on Drugs American normalcy challenge Any% never passed never succeeded.

So I'm not going to quibble with Walt and Jesse trying to kill Tuco, or even (for once) Hank succeeding. The guy was an active threat to all parties involved and his life is taken in self-defense. But I want to highlight this line in particular: "We tried to poison you. Because you're an insane, degenerate piece of filth, and you deserve to die." Given how Walt's historically used the term I think its fair to read "degenerate" as interchangeable with "junkie". So of all the reasons Walt has decided to highlight that Tuco might need to die here....the ones he highlights are "junkie" and "mentally ill".

Jesse kicks Tuco into a hole hope this doesn't foreshadow anything in his future.

[flutishly]

Why I’m not remotely excited about Picard Season 3

All of the SPOILERS for Star Trek: Picard seasons 1 and 2. Also ranting. This is very, very long.

I genuinely didn’t realize that Star Trek: Picard was returning so soon. I knew that seasons 2 and 3 were filmed back-to-back, but I somehow still didn’t process that this meant that Picard would leap ahead of the Star Trek queue and be the next show after the absolutely delightful Prodigy ended its first season. (On that note: If you haven’t seen Prodigy, go do that now. In fact, you can probably do that instead of watching Picard season 3, which I obviously haven’t seen because it’s not out yet but for which, as you can probably guess from the title, I am not excited.)

Let’s get the obvious out of the way: The new era of Star Trek has had its ups and downs, but fans rarely agree on what those ups and downs really are. I for instance genuinely love Discovery and think that even with specific flaws in its first two seasons and some sloppy pacing in its most recent fourth, it’s a fascinating show populated with characters that I adore. The vast majority of Star Trek shows come with their own flaws and criticisms, as one would expect of any TV show.

But unlike most other shows (including other new Star Treks), Picard is one that roots itself in a firmly established, beloved character while promising a new story. Legacy characters crop up in lots of different ways in recent shows, but none truly center a fully-fleshed character the way that Picard does. (SNW comes closest with Spock; I will touch on this again momentarily...) Picard also readily reaches into the backlog of TNG characters and arcs in order to further its world.

The problem is that it does so while having promised viewers something new. This, it turns out, is decidedly not true.

The show began promisingly enough. Picard season 1 made an active effort to be an independent show, focusing on a retired Jean-Luc Picard finding a new purpose to his life while surrounding himself with new mentees and colleagues. The season arc questions the humanity of synthetic- or synthetic-hybrid lifeforms. Despite a sloppy ending, the season has a decently coherent thematic structure, integrating elements from both legacy stories and new ones. Soji’s arc is quintessential Star Trek, as she questions her humanity and purpose. Picard’s arc sees him forced to grapple with his longstanding trauma from his encounters with the Borg, alongside reflections of his life, friendships, and role as a mentor/father-figure. Raffi’s arc sees her reclaiming aspects of herself and forgiving others; so do both Rios and Jurati (albeit in very different ways). In between, there are smaller threads of deeply human questions about purpose, doing good, and recovering from trauma. The season doesn’t work so well as a whole because of poor writing decisions in its wrappings (and the sense that it tried to do too much all at once), but it’s still a decently compelling bit of television that tries to give Picard a new perspective, alongside new challenges.

Picard season 2 takes almost everything that season 1 did and throws it out.

The season opening is not bad. It’s a fast-paced, almost whiplash-y set of action sequences that promise to set the plot moving. After watching the first episode, I was asked by someone who had not yet seen it to describe it in three words. I opted for four: “TNG movie meets Picard”. There were some emotional/melodramatic bits, but most of the time was spent on keeping the plotting snappy and the action moving forward. It promised certain themes and character beats. Except none of that came to pass. “The Star Gazer” was a reset episode, taking the characters from season 1 and placing them in new and different places (sometimes in accordance to where they’d been at the end of season 1 and sometimes not). “Penance” reset everything again, as did “Assimilation”. For the entire first third of the season, Picard seemed not to know what its point was.

Yet once it settled into a new normal, the show seemed determined to define these parameters. Soji was obviously gone from the first episode (even if actress Isa Briones was given a small minor side-role) and Evan Evagora’s Elnor disappeared almost as quickly (with even more minor reappearances in the form of baffling, narratively unjustified flashbacks or hallucinations). Rios was isolated from the main team and given his own plot (that can only be described as “extremely obvious” in terms of how it played out and concluded; this is not a compliment), thus also getting sidelined. Raffi and Seven of Nine spent the entire season circling around each other in trying to define their relationship, but the show played it coy for so long that it was genuinely bizarre to watch Rios kissing his new love interest within moments of meeting her, but Raffi and Seven getting dragged out for the whole season (despite... actually having been a couple? and one promised by the season 1 ending??). It made little sense.

There are two arcs throughout the season that work, though to differing degrees. The first is Seven of Nine’s. I’m a devoted Trekkie, but I’ll admit that Voyager is the gap that I’m still filling though I’m decently familiar with Seven’s arc and character. Yet even without having all of the background, from a writing perspective, Seven of Nine’s story is the most immediately coherent. She starts the season in point A and gets to point B pretty directly and understandably. It feels like a more mature version of the classic “what does it mean to be human?” question, taking threads that arose in season 1 and expanding on them. Seven of Nine struggles to see herself as fully human and bears the weight of her Borg past in physical and emotional manifestations. What I liked about her arc is that she never really fully comes to terms with any of it, even admitting as much out loud. Instead, she also learns to accept that despite how she views these as inherently bad pieces of herself, others see them as a whole that is worthy of love and respect. This gives her some space for herself, in a way. It could have been better-written in terms of the specific relationship aspects, but on the whole it works pretty well.

The second meaningful arc is Jurati’s, which mostly survives on the basis of Alison Pill’s excellent acting. I’m not convinced of the writing for this aspect; Jurati starts season 2 at a far lower point than she ended in season 1 and there is an inconsistency in how her character is presented. Her penchant for poor decision-making remains, however, and is the driving force behind her bizarre plot. That said, the core of her arc is not so unlike Seven of Nine’s - it’s one of finding oneself. We have already seen that Jurati is fairly weak-willed, but here it becomes part of a very disturbing bit of internalized play in defining her self-loathing and recreating herself. I didn’t like it, but Pill does an extraordinary job of selling Jurati’s motivations, discrepancies, and horrors. I’m not sure another actor could have pulled it off (given that the writing is still pretty sloppy), but Pill does and so it deserves commendation.

The rest of the season is, quite simply, not good.

There are decent ideas or lines throughout. Picard’s rousing inspiring speech to Renee is a lovely reminder of what Star Trek strives to be; the very premise of Renee’s mission being the linchpin on which humanity’s pluralistic approach to space travel and its environmental future turns is also fairly nice. There’s an important political message buried in Rios’s side story with immigration, as well as Guinan’s dissatisfaction with our contemporary Earth. These little sprinkles only serve to remind us how poorly they fit together.

More than that, there are pieces that could work but don’t, like Picard’s tragic backstory. It’s... fine? I guess it’s fine. It could have contextualized Picard’s emotional reticence and family issues. Instead, it was used with all the subtlety of a serial killer’s axe, in order to further a truly inexplicable romantic subplot that gave Picard absolutely no new depth nor made any sense given the characterizations of season 1. From a technical standpoint, it was also disappointing in its idealized/romanticized framing of mental health struggles. It could have been good; it wasn’t. The recurring theme of season 2.

Same with Q and Guinan in general. Q’s initial involvement is reminiscent of his TNG-era shenanigans. He’s sly and mysterious and his interests are muddled at best, other than the fact that we see their disastrous consequences. Except then... it turns out to be... a sign of love? A misplaced “last hurrah”? I’m all for acknowledging the depth and complexity of the love that Q holds for Picard, but like... seriously? That was the best the writers could come up with? How does it track with any of what we see throughout the rest of the season? All to get Picard to reframe his relationship with love, and with a total disregard for the real people who died to get there?

Guinan’s plot is similarly weird. The idea of recasting a “young” Guinan was cute and I’m fine with it, but... what purpose did she actually serve the narrative? I’m sitting here and thinking about the season and I simply cannot recall what she contributed. Summoning Q, sort of? Existing? Did it have to be Guinan? Was she there just because we know the name?

But the show is called Picard, so let’s focus on the man himself for a moment. What was season 2 about, if we look at Jean-Luc Picard?

On its surface, Picard’s arc was about making space for love. The lifestyle change suggested at the end of season 2 - in which he would no longer resign himself to moping alone around the vineyard and would instead set forth on new adventures with his new crew - was gone at the beginning of season 2. Other than seeing several of the crew newly in Starfleet (Rios, Raffi, and Elnor), there is little indication of how Picard’s synthetic body impacts his life or has affected his perspective. In fact, it seems to come up only haphazardly when he’s physically injured. (Which is itself a bizarre plot point, but sure! Sure.)

In one of the two major threads going for him in season 2, Picard has to come to terms with his parents’ toxic relationship and its complexities. As I mentioned above, this might have been thoughtfully handled, but it mostly wasn’t. The tonal dissonance between the portrayal of mental illness and the murkiness of the abuse/perceived abuse meant that I struggled to take away anything of meaning from the tragedy. It felt like it was constantly just trying to shock and tease the viewer, particularly in how it flipped the script of abuse. Why? What for? Picard might be well-served by a more detailed exploration of his childhood, but was this it?

The other thread is the one that had me rolling my eyes. Somehow, the season’s message of “Picard learns to love!” gets translated into “learns to have a romantic love!”, as though this is the end-all. Picard is certainly a character who has shied away from romantic relationships before and that could have been worth exploring in part, but why does it have to do at the expense of understanding Picard’s general discomfort with acknowledging love? There are so many ways this could - and frankly should - have played out, that didn’t involve a romance with a character that is... well, maybe technically of a similar age as Jean-Luc, but not really the same stage of life? (...synthetic life?) It was weird and uncomfortable and just... pointless. It didn’t make Picard’s character have greater depth, on the contrary - it promoted the extremely silly idea that there is one superior type of loving relationship. Why?

This isn’t a review of season 2, though. No, I didn’t like season 2. I wanted to, at first, but I found myself growing more and more baffled and exhausted as it progressed. Pockets of amusement or entertainment or appreciation (see again Picard’s speech to Renee, which I really did quite like!) appeared for brief moments throughout the episodes and then disappeared again. But the main problem? The main thing that angered me about season 2?

It seemed determined to forget that season 1 had happened, and it did so very obviously at the expense of its own characters. And THAT is why I’m not excited for season 3, or as I call it “the producers went: hey, wait, let’s bring back TNG oh my gosh!!!!”.

Once again: Star Trek has been a leader in the world of reboots and nostalgic callbacks. TNG is a reboot, after all. It opened with a hand-off from an extremely aged-up Dr. McCoy, as a way to tie things together to the Original Series. It found an excuse to include Scotty, Sarek, and Spock in plot-specific ways. Later, it gave Kirk space in its first movie. DS9 and Voyager both played on fan nostalgia in their respective series with the inclusion of legacy characters - Q, Worf, Barclay, Riker, etc. - and indeed even Enterprise tried desperately and disastrously to find ways to milk nostalgia, even as a prequel reboot itself.

As I mentioned at the top, modern Trek has continued this trend. Disco‘s worst earliest instincts were rooted in its attempts to mine nostalgia; while the inclusion of Pike and Spock in season 2 ended up being pretty beneficial for the franchise as a whole (yay SNW! itself an obvious exercise in nostalgia; I’ll expand in a moment), it wobbled in season 1 with Sarek. Lower Decks has consistently been at its most tiring when trying too hard to play to nostalgia rather than telling its own stories (except for the occasional wonderful gag, but the jokes are usually just... too much). Prodigy also felt a little tiring when it tried too hard to be nostalgic for the sake of older fans, rather than just telling its own story, but it did this only sporadically.

And then there’s Picard. Whereas SNW takes legacy characters who have either never gotten their due or are at an earlier stage than what we’ve previously known of them, Picard is the only real sequel to a legacy show, fully centering on a legacy character. In season 1, the show promised that while Picard himself was returning, the show was not a TNG sequel. Indeed, Picard’s biggest season 1 legacy costar isn’t even from TNG, a rather inspired decision on the part of the producers/writers. And with the exception of some cameos and Brent Spiner’s enduring mission to act out as many related characters as he can (a once-mildly amusing trait, now gone sour), the show made a point of introducing new characters: Dahj and Soji, whose stories kick off and define the season. Raffi, Elnor, Rios, Jurati... even the antagonists! Even the legacy characters are fresh! Seven of Nine and Hugh are both in vastly different places than where they’d been in the past. And yes, I’m including Riker and Troi - in their delightful interlude of an episode - who are there to demonstrate just how much things have changed since TNG. This is a new show, a different show, populated by characters who are guiding and interact with Picard in different ways.

So why is season 3 just TNG season 8? Without having watched the trailers, it’s hard for me to say whether or not I’m misreading what the plot actually is, but all of the promotion has been about the TNG crew and their involvement. Soji and Elnor - both wildly sidelined by season 2 - have been fully abandoned; will there be any plot justification for this? Rios and Jurati at least were given send-offs in season 2, but they too were cast aside. I can’t really figure out what’s supposed to have happened to Laris (though while Orla Brady still appeared throughout season 2, the character of Laris... didn’t). This leaves only two of the “new” characters for Picard season 3 - Raffi and Seven of Nine (who is, of course, actually a legacy character). And of course even season 2 seemed more interested in legacy characters, with the returns of both Guinan and Q, and even Brent Spiner’s umpteenth Soong.

Nostalgia can be great. I appreciate a good dose of nostalgia as much as the next person. I cheered at the appearance of Deep Space 9 on Lower Decks. The TOS-nostalgic Prodigy episode “All the World’s a Stage” was excellent. SNW is a great show. But nostalgia cannot be in place of something new. Say what you will about Disco, but it did something new in its first season, even as it tried to link its story to legacy characters (and indeed, failed most strikingly in that effort). Picard seems to have initially understood that lesson and then thrown it aside. Season 3 abandons any pretense of telling some kind of new story about Picard’s post-Enterprise life. It bends over backwards to include the old gang (including Spiner, who I dearly love, but seriously... why?) and to fully center them.

And... much as I love TNG, I find that I am incapable of getting excited about this. I look at how season 2 flailed in its attempt to tell an interesting story, how it fully wasted its potential (2024!!! the Bell Riots! they could have done so much!), how it dismissively discarded its new characters, how it backtracked on any meaningful story about Jean-Luc Picard that might have been told... and I ask myself what season 3 could possibly bring, especially knowing that the seasons were produced back-to-back. Will it rise above season 2′s mediocrity? Will it manage to actually say anything new and meaningful about these characters? About this world, which is the real point of Star Trek?

My sense is no. It’s hard to get excited over that.

[spookfished]

nov 2023 media roundup

hello again :3 welcome to the world from 2024!! im doing backlogs of media reviews lol. well i was really busy. and then i was super busy playing umineko!! looking back at this month, it seems like i didnt read a whole lot this month, but then i forgot that ruzhui is literally 300 chapters long. so.. a couple of these i read uh quite a few months ago by now so the review might be a bit stale. however i had like 80% of this written for several weeks so theres only a couple! this will be posted on my neocities at some point

books:

ruzhui by please dont laugh: f/f. after a terrible breakup, college yun an is happy to leave her life behind for some TIME TRAVEL! but while disguising herself as a man to avoid discrimination, she gets looped into a matrilocal marriage with businesswoman lin buxian?! intended as a fluffy palate cleanser after pdl's previous work a clear and muddy loss of love, i think it still kinda ended up getting mired in politics two thirds of the way in, when a lot of us were here for the moments with miss malewife yun an and her powerhouse wife? on the other hand, its hard to stretch out fluff for an entire 300 chapters without contriviances. i also really enjoyed how it managed to balance like. idk. 'returning to the simple emotions of the past' with 'holy shit guys the past actually sucked ass lmfao'. its a pretty relaxing read, so id recommend checking it out if youre into f/f!

the devil comes courting by courtney milan: f/m romance. can romance bloom while trying to create the first telegraphic encoding for chinese...? sooo cute im a huge fan of courtney milan as always. surprisingly goes into some pretty heavy topics including like. forced assimilation via child stealing?????? i thought it was well handled though the ldr stuff and the way amelia grows as a person was soo nice

the marquis who mustnt by courtney milan: f/m romance. the son of a conman returns home for one final trick. meanwhile, naomi just wants to take her medic class. the two become engaged on false premises and of course, catch feelings. once again extremely cute im very charmed. also liked the pottery details :3 i think in every fake engagement the whole 'pretending to themselves they dont have feelings' is a little ridiculous so i liked that they just like. acknowledged it at the outset. i think its honestly more compelling to be like 'yes my feelings are sincere and true however X still outweighs '. loove a guy shackled by duty

wandering souls by cecile pin: follows anh and her two siblings, refugees of the vietnam war. ok honestly i dont remember a lot about this book :( sorry but i did like it! its a really fast read and made me really sad so id recommend. (DISCLAIMER: AMERICAN) i also feel like i dont read a lot of non-american diaspora books so thats pretty interesting as well. nice prose also :]

detransition baby by torrey peters: a trans woman who yearns for motherhood, her detransitioned ex-boyfriend, and his pregnant partner struggle to find a way to live--together, or apart? ok sorry this is another review written in january so its kinda weighted more negatively. i had a LOT of thoughts about this in november but i forgot most of them. this novel is a deep look into a very specific kind of queer subculture--a subculture which is both very white and very annoying. sorry. the characters feel like a vivid, true-to-life depiction of the poeple i try to avoid at my little liberal arts college. however, it ALSO feels like the kind of really good gossip that you love to hear secondhand. also, the author shoehorns in discussions of race in ways that are really jarring and also, kinda bad? i honestly really loved the inner voices of all the characters which is why it sucked when i got to suddenly read a copy-pasted twitter thread about intersectional oppression instead. (especially coming from the mouth of a cis wasian woman..?) it feels all the more tokenistic since we immediately go back to the inner struggles of ames and reese instead. ugh. however, it sparked some really interesting conversations with me and my friends. i also got to learn more about ah i guess transfem detransition? as opposed to transmasc detransition. they are very different! um but i guess id recommend?

comics/manga:

surviving romance: action/horror webtoon?? the woman living in the body of a romance novel character is determined to get her picture-perfect happy ever after-- at all costs. everything goes according to plan until the day zombies attack the school. chaerin is forced to bond with the faceless extras of her story, and find out what is rotting at the core of *love every day*. very solid writing!! i like how the author gradually introduces characters, and how the tension ratchets up as more people to care for becomes more people that can be lost. definitely goes into some orv-lite type themes, which i appreciated. i guess my only complaint is that despite the solid execution it didnt really ~wow~ me in any way... still worth checking out though :3

run away with me girl by battan: f/f romanceish? two high school lovers meet again after midori decided that their relationship was just a childish whim. but even though midori has decided shes straight (and is married with a kid on the way!), maki still has feelings for her. dude soooo cute the art style is not personally my thing but i felt like all of the characters were really grounded and the introspective parts were really interesting. some beautifully atmospheric parts! would recommend :3 witch hat atelier kitchen (reread) by shirahama kamome: a spinoff of witch hat atelier, where the two teachers qifrey and olrugio make food together after hours! gorgeous art as always, and some cute recipes too! i reread this since an official english translation came out lol. monotone blue: short furry m/m about apathetic, aloof cat hachi, who meets aoi--a shy transfer student who happens to be the only lizard in the whole school. pretty lighthearted for the most part, but also heavily implied a sexual assault scene?? or at least the vibes?? in a way that treated it far too lightly and left a bad taste in my mouth. possibly worth reading for the art, but idk :/ definitely falls into the romance trap of having a love interest go "ill save you from these bad guys!" for like a cheap plot device and then not really going into it

movies/tv:

parasite: class-focused comedic thriller? the kim family finds a way out of choking poverty by working for the extremely affluent park family. its almost too easy--until it isnt. man everyone says parasite is so good. AND IT IS!!! i cant believe i took so long to see this movie i got to see it with some friends over thanksgiving break and it was so good :] had me stressed for my fucking life sitting at the edge of my seat. has a lot of meat to bite into analysis-wise but is also just so crushing in many ways.. the ending stuck in my head for a long time. rewatching it this january was honestly more stressful in some ways haha

revolutionary girl utena: allegory-heavy commentary on shoujo and princess narratives and the nature of heroism and-- f/f. utena is a girl who aspires to be just like the prince of her dreams. she is somehow wrapped up into an engagement with anthy himemiya, who calls herself "the rose bride." ahhhh i still havent watched the last two episodes actually. people always say "utena is a fantastic show but PLEASE mind every single trigger warning" and its true! utena tackles some really heavy subjects in a way that is delicate, understated, and vicious. i watched a bunch of these episodes late at night in the computer lab and they honestly left me breathless. has so many layers of symbolism to dig through that it can honestly be overwhelming, but also very compelling just on the surface! watch utena. also watch this amv https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THN3gYKYojs

the wonderful story of henry sugar: a netflix adaptation of one of roald dahls stories (within a story). it was cute :3 not a lot of sticking power lol but i think this is the first wes anderson production ive ever watched. very visually distinctive!

video games:

lethal company: cooperative horror game about trying to collect garbage in a dystopically capitalist world ft. proximity chat! dude this game is blowing tf up i tried playing it with neil but 1. we are huge pussies 2. its really only feasible with 3+ people

music:

TILT by nanoray: anime breakcore is one of my truly guilty pleasures. i see the anime girl on the cover and cringe a little bit HOWEVER nanoray is a really good artist. the intro is so liquid... i think the album as a whole really just sweeps you up into a groove. some of my favorite tracks are into and DOGWALK2000 THE LONELIEST TIME by carly rae jepsen: i was so mean to carly rae jepsen in middle school. im so sorry miss jepsen i was just so tired of hearing call me maybe everywhere. im now a changed man. just a really well constructed pop album 👍admittedly not as iconic to me as emotion, but joshua tree and talking to yourself are my favorites atm SAYONARA WILD HEARTS OST: ive never played sayonara wildheart, but i think its a rhythm game about girls fighting each other on motorcycles? with bisexual lighting and tarot cards? but anyways this is a synth-y lush pop album thats super fun! it feels like it tells a story (probably bc it does) and it always makes me want to listen all the way through :3 my favorites are sayonara wild heart and their clair de lune remix

anyways if you read to the end, thanks as always! its really interesting to try and condense my thoughts about something into one paragraph.. sometimes its easier than others huh! im almost done with the december one so please look forward to that 👍

[darlingpoppet]

[20 Question Fic Writer Tag]

Tagged by @johaerys-writes (who is always welcome to tag me in stuff whenever they want because it makes my day every time <3)

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 16 as of now. I have another fic I’m not yet allowed to publish outside of its anthology that I’d like to upload eventually, and I also have new WIP currently in the works, so the number is slowly growing!

2. What is your AO3 word count? 128,406… I’ve only been actively publishing on my AO3 account for about 2 years so I’d say it’s a pretty decent output!

3. What fandoms do you write for? Right now just two: Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan (mostly Eruri), and Patrochilles (from The Iliad/Hades/TSOA/etc. because it’s better to say the ship itself is the fandom right? lol) Although Hades in itself can perhaps be considered a separate third category because that particular spin on Greek Mythology & its interpretation of Patrochilles has particularly captured my imagination, and because I’ve written for other ships in that universe like PZA and MZT

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? In descending order: Pressed Flowers, Strain, Upon A Lazy Bed, Once More, and Closest To My Heart (the latter two are currently tied for 4th but Closest might eke ahead once this is posted haha.) I actually really love how these are a pretty good representative sample of my works: Eruri, Patrochilles (TSOA-verse & Hades-verse), PZA; some smutty, some angsty & some sweet; their ratings are all that AO3 offers: 1 G, 1 T, 1 M, & 2 E. I’m a bit sad that as of this writing Where The Dead Forget has been knocked out of the top 5 but since it’s still an ongoing WIP that’s only like 25% done, assuming its readership grows, it’ll certainly claw its way back up through the rankings lol

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I do my best to respond! I like to show my gratitude to anyone who kindly takes the time to share their thoughts, and also I love to be able to discuss the story & characters when I have the opportunity! I’ve done my best to be diligent about responding ever since I started posting Patrochilles fics but unfortunately I still have an accumulated backlog from the earlier days of posting… my inbox is sitting at an ignominious 28 “unreads” atm (although I promise I did read & savor each one! I’ll respond eventually, I promise!!)

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Pressed Flowers and Upon A Lazy Bed both have pretty bittersweet endings. Closest To My Heart has a “happy” ending that in the context of the rest of the story is in fact rather bleak, and I’ve rightfully gotten a lot of feedback that people found it pretty unsettling, haha.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Nonbiri-ya, perhaps? Or perhaps it’s Sea Of Love, if you’re a Hadesgame enjoyer who’s also familiar with the Achilles myths and the prophecies about his life

8. Do you get hate on fics? I haven’t received any so far. If anyone dislikes what I’m cooking up they’re gratefully keeping it to themselves or at least where I can’t see it, haha.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes and this year especially I’ve been trying to get better at it! I’ve always personally enjoyed smut that’s used as a vehicle for character/relationship study, that combo of eroticism + emotion is soooo good. As for what kind it is… uhhhh I’m not sure since I’ve done everything from tender & romantic, “fade-to-black” scenes to dead dovey fetish fuel and everything in between, lol. I hope I write the kind of smut that’s hot I guess uwu

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Not really, unless you’d consider mixing & matching details of different Greek mythology retellings into a new story to be a crossover… but personally I don’t think it counts haha. Sea Of Love in some ways feels like a TSOA/Hades crossover but I think it’s more just the vibes since it was still my aim to depict Hadesgame versions of Patrochilles during their childhood

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of… hopefully not haha

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I’ve translated several of my own fics into Japanese for doujinshi publishing purposes: The Upper Hand, Stomach & Heart, Odd One Out, and one more that isn’t on AO3 yet called LoveSick Arrows. I also translated Upon A Lazy Bed into Japanese for fun over a year ago and I’ve been meaning to post it for ages but my partner who usually betas my translations still hasn’t looked it over haha. My fic Harmony was translated into Russian and Ukrainian as part of a fandom group project. Also, I once received a request from someone who wanted to translate The Upper Hand into Russian. Not sure if it ever happened… perhaps it’s out there somewhere on ficbook, though I’m not sure where! (If anyone knows I’d love to link back to it!)

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before? No, never! I’m not sure how a writing collaboration works exactly but it might be fun to try sometime!

14. What's your all-time favourite ship? Oh god… I mean I would have to say it’s eruri right? Just for the sheer amount of time & the degree I’ve gone hard for this ship… all the friendships I made and the person I’ve become literally would not have been possible without it. My comparatively recent foray into writing has come at a time when that passion is in a more dormant period though. And instead I’m having a lot of fun writing with Patrochilles which I can already tell will be another all-timer for me (two years ago me would probably be surprised to know that current me is taking Classical Greek lessons because the hyperfixations cannot be controlled, amirite?) I’ve enjoyed a lot of ships but I’ve had so few genuine OTPs my whole life because once I fall in love with a ship I fall HARD. Probably the only other one that has genuinely changed my life like Eruri and Patrochilles have is Wolfstar… that one definitely comes with a lot of bittersweetness but at least I can still say I have a lot good memories attached to it <3

15. What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever will? I wanna say “never say never” because every time I look through my WIPs and fic ideas I’m always like “oh this was so good! I should return to it!” I had always wanted to do my own “Erwin lives” fic but I’m not sure exactly if I have enough passion atm to bring something interesting or unique to that little sub-genre. Maybe someday, if I have a good enough idea. I’ve also for the longest time had a “what if Erwin joined the Military Police instead of the Survey Corps” story idea because back in the early days of the eruri fandom there were a lot of popular fanon & AUs where Erwin was an MP or ex-MP (probably popularized by Audacity?) That mini-genre pretty much died out once we learned his canon backstory but I still wanted to do one in conversation/playing with the canon, because I think that would be an interesting vehicle to explore his character motivations by considering an alternative & I think I could make a neat little political thriller out of it. Again, maybe someday. I think the only WIP I have actually talked about that’s well & truly “dead” is the Achilles POV fic I said I was writing in the notes for Upon A Lazy Bed. It was just too episodic and I could never really come up with a proper narrative through-line for it. On the bright side, much of what I had written for it and its overall thesis statement ended up getting repurposed for Where The Dead Forget, so at least it lives now as something else. There are still a couple orphan stand-alone episodes from it that I still quite like, so maybe I’ll publish them as a little TSOA-verse drabble collection or something someday.

16. What are your writing strengths? I think I’m pretty good at creating a certain tone and atmosphere. I also think I’m getting good at making my prose flow in a rhythmically pleasing way. A friend once called my writing “lyrical” & I think it was one of the kindest compliments I’ve ever gotten ;o;

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I said this in an earlier ask meme but I don’t think I’m very good at action scenes, it’s hard for me to make a sequence of actions both interesting & make sense and I don’t really enjoy writing them haha. They’re harder than sex scenes too because at least in those you can weave in a lot more emotions among the “choreography”. Also: long-form serialized storytelling does not come naturally to me at all and I’m unsure if I do a good job with things like pacing or being able to clearly see both the forest & trees. Time will tell I guess lol. On that note, I’m also a pretty slow writer. I am Not that author who gives regular weekly/monthly updates haha.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Personally I don’t really encounter this often but when I do it’s usually demonstrating a language barrier between the characters, or something being purposely obfuscated from the reader, which I think is all fine & legit. I suppose you would see it more often between characters who are understood to not actually be speaking in the language of the fic, yeah? I was reading a novel recently that was injecting all sorts of words & phrases in the language of the setting and idk… I guess it added to the atmosphere but when I can’t understand what they’re saying even though it’s something the pov character is meant to understand then it starts to feel a bit alienating and I don’t like it, haha.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Gundam Wing, I think? LMFAO! I was 12 and I wrote some kind of AU where they all go to camp and I’m pretty sure it was pure tween cringe haha. The first fandom in which I posted more publicly was Harry Potter. The only one I really remember from back then was a James/Sirius fic I wrote when I was 16 that nowadays would be considered dd content… it’s probably lost to the sands of time but even now I still think the concept was solid uwu

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? The ones I’ve always felt pretty stoked on since posting them are Upon A Lazy Bed and Closest To My Heart… both of them because I enjoyed toying with the ideas behind them, and to me they successfully evoke the atmosphere and emotional responses I was going for. And if I can continue make my writing as pretty as I think UALB ended up being I’ll be very happy indeed! Also: I felt kind of iffy on LoveSick Arrows (the one not on AO3 yet) when I first submitted it but recently I reread it and I think it turned out way better than I gave it credit for… it might be my favorite eruri fic to date :)

Tagging @galpalpetraral @zorthania @lostcauses-noregrets @he1chouarts @goddamnchou @ladymacbethsspot & @elemmacil <3 Also belatedly tagging @sonderous-opia because I couldn’t remember what your tumblr account name was until now ;o;

[writers-ex]

hi you're back!! idk what happened, i don't wanna know as well but i'm sending you a huuug 💗 and hopefully you saw my ask about how to deal with nosy anons and found it helpful for you 💗

in celebration of me getting closer to finishing my backlogs (and claiming that I get all of it done today whew): a request! the one with the song stuff hihihi although i'll let you choose between two because i have lss from a lot of songs these days 🤧

A. Fluff!

song: I Feel Good by BINI

lyrics: *those in bold aren't sung in English*

"I feel good everytime that I'm with you, my eyes won't stray from you oh, oh, don't ever wanna part, even if I'll have to wait for you forever. Oh wait! turns out I can't wait anymore, I'm so eager for your love, and all emotions start to get real oh boy I love how you make me feel. It feels unbelievable, Cupid shot me, whenever you're there everything feels lighter yeah yeah"

idk but this song (and mv phew - it's a feast for my eyes lmao) is so colorful and fun it makes me feel like i'm also in love 😅

B. Angst :(

songs: Maharani (Great Queen)by Alamat and Hanggang Sa Huli (Until the End) by SB19

lyrics:

Maharani - "he doesn't understand what he's wasting, while I'm over here just waiting, like your numerous other suitors by the sides, I promise I'm not going crazy, you're my only Great Queen - will you give me a chance, if ever I might attain your love? Queen, let me be your King, I swear to god I'll never get tired of you, Great Queen"

Hanggang Sa Huli - "if our paths cross, then we're meant to be. Had I said everything then, would things be different now? With every breath, I pray that I could be with you. And if this is our last moment together, I want you to know that I love you, I love you, I love you"

okii I'm leaving it in your hands, hope you feel the vibe of the songs and get those creative juices flowing ang and and have fun with whichever prompt you wanna do!! don't forget to eat well todayyy 💗

- 😚

ok the girls in the MV are so cute and this at home arts and crafts vibe is so cute uwu so i thought of doing domestic things with lia bc yes like its a rainy day and you're both stuck at home so what better thing to do than use the paint set you bought a while ago and paint your jeans together to match each other while lia attempts to bake some cupcakes to watch a movie together however you panic and almost spill paint on the couch when you hear her cry out, running to the kitchen yuo see her sucking her finger that she managed to burn taking out the cupcake pan from the oven without gloves T_T so you kiss and wrap her boo-boo and start scolding her when she cheers and points out the window to show that the rain has stopped and a rainbow graces your window making you look at your shy girlfriend smiling before pulling each other into a soft kiss whispering how much you loved each other

the angst- its a bit dark for even my standards the mv actually made me think of arriving too late to stop yeji from leaving the office after your heated argument about a project you were both working on, she storms out furious and heads home but turns around to hear you calling out to her and…fails to notice the car turning the corner and hitting her, screaming you rush over to her bleeding body her face frozen in shock as the color drains from her face as she stares into your eyes, you plead and beg for her to hang on but its too late she can't hear your apologizes and i love yous as her body goes limp leaving you at the crossroad while the ambulance drives over too late T^T damn now im sad

[sephmonet]

January’s Reading List

I promised myself that i would keep tabs on all the things I read this year, both on and off tumblr. Also - this shines light on some amazing authors that I’ve come across and don’t want to forget. If you’d rather not be tagged (because if you’re on this list, it means im legit reading every fic you pump out LMAO) please let me know!

This one is starting off mostly as a backlog, because I should’ve done this earlier... Oops.

also i can’t, for the life of me, ever recall fics off of the top of my head.

This is in no particular order other than what I can find off of my blog and my pc tabs - i have 3 million open at all times.

The Last of Us

abby love spell by @ohcaptains

 This abby x reader fic is literally the first I’ve ever read because I def wasn’t an abby stan. This entire fic is perfection from head to toe, legit smutty perfection. The longing, the desperation, the banter is just so great and I can’t recommend this one enough.

miss sunshine by @nexusnyx

I’ve read a lot of Joel fics, being a longtime Joel lover. (Seriously, I’ve been in love with this man since I was 13.) This one is my all time favorite, hands down. I love the dynamic here, I love how the author takes the characterization of Joel miller and makes it better. I especially love that Sunshine is a nickname given to her by him and not Sarah.

Everything here is perfect for me. No qualms. I read it every couple of days.

Call of Duty (MWII)

yours to keep by @mvtthewmurdvck

In lieu of authors turning me onto characters that I never thought I’d like, this one is divine. Definitely helps that they accidentally used my actual nickname but, even without it, this fic is just so deliciously sexy and real. I could write paragraphs on how much I love this story.

Softly by @littleferal

This Rudy fic accompanies another two amazing fics, but this specifically highlights Rudy featuring a little bit of Ale. The Las Almas boys are so well done in this authors hands. They truly nailed how gentle and attentive a lover Rudy can be. The sugar and spice dynamic of Rudy and Ale is perfection here.

Simon Says & Daddy’s Home by @emomanswhore

For these to be their only two fucking fics on this site, holy shit.

Author came out that bitch SWINGING. I remember these two fics being the first real ghost x reader that I felt really strongly about because its the first time I ever really got into a reblogging stint. Ontop of a black coded and bratty!reader, Gods. These two stories keep my horny ass up at night. Point blank.

“its so hot when you talk back” by @gh0stswh0re

Speaking of smut that keeps me up at night.. this is some toe-curling stuff. I love brat tamer!Ghost so much. This author captures his filthy fucking mouth so well.

Untitled Konig Drabble by @luxuryberzatto

Listen... Between Konig and Price.. those two are fighting rn for White Boy of the Month for me. But this drabble??? I think i’d have to let Konig have the “Bear” title. Just this once.. author made him begging sound so sexy.

Her heart was the most Beautiful Thing I Ever Broke by @day0walker​

This is an ongoing Price series that I just can’t wait to really dig into. I’ve read the first few chapters and, I have to say, Im afraid this might become one of my favorites for my main man. Perfect, so far, in every way. The banter is top tier.

Price’s Masterlist by @yeyinde

Literally feeds us so much. The Price girlies are forever in this authors favor. Everything they write for that man is so delicious, so fucking ambrosial that i’ll literally put down what Im doing to read what they’ve written for him.

Ghosts and Mirages Masterlist by @stararch4ngelqueen

Still ongoing series, but its so good. Nothing has fed me more than this series for Ghost right here. It’s quite literally a masterpiece. I’ve never felt more emotion for a series than this one right here. PERFECT.

Misc. Characters

Blossom Dearie by @nymphlamp

Carmy is SO good in this Authors hands. So perfect. This fic turned me into such a carmy girl that it isn’t even funny and I should actually go to a therapist about it. Such beautiful writing. Also another black coded!reader <3

Morning by @write-and-buried​

This is a Dieter Bravo fic and.. Whew lord this, and the second part of it is sooooooo fucking hot. I still haven’t seen whatever movie this is yet but by Gods does this fic make me want to dive headfirst into it.

The Fire in Your Eyes Series by @flamehairedwritings​

such a good series for Aurthur Morgan. So well fucking done with so many emotions. Beautiful and meaningful writing.

Off of Tumblr

Safe House by Alternate_Alien

Another ongoing price fic... but Bodyguard!Price dealing with a bratty!reader??? Cmooooon now. Its too good.

Lady of Rooksgrave Manor by Kathryn Moon

Reverse harems are such a guilty pleasure of mine. This turned me into a monster fucker.. Im not sorry.

[blookmallow]

ok i REALLY gotta start going through my fallout 4 backlog. lets get this going

i have been having a delightful time

----

my girl ruby before Everything Happened

i love fallout giving me the ability to alter my character's face over time so i can gradually add more scars and stuff. i love it. its weird to me looking at this screenshot now bc she's changed so much

though it occurs to me i think i took this before i had completely finished with her face bc shes supposed to have freckles and for some reason doesn't but w/e

i LOVE that fallout 4 shows us Before the war. i love the intro a lot

i didn't know about codsworth's massive name database and happened to pick a name he had programmed and let me tell you hearing him say my character name threw me for a loop sfjg

i cannot believe how many names they accounted for this is excellent

oh look i have a baby

i don't love the assigned backstory though it took me a while to be able to define my character and it still doesn't really vibe very well for ruby. i think she was dating (nate? literally i dont even remember my tragic backstory husband's name sdgfjh) because he was a nice guy and she had no Reason not to. he proposed and she said yes because there was no Reason to say no. getting married is just what people do. they weren't Planning for a baby, but she got pregnant, and well, that's what's happening now. she wasn't opposed to the idea. she loves children. but the domestic life was never what she Wanted, not really. the truth is she loves the post apocalyptic life. she misses the world before but she loves fighting for justice and going out to rebuild the commonwealth with her own hands. she loves urban exploring and scavenging. and it tears her apart because she feels like she shouldn't. she lost her family. she lost her husband. she lost her whole life and is surrounded in human tragedy every day. but in her heart she feels she was made for this

i don't know if it's the writing or if it's me or what it is but i just didn't really feel anything about this. maybe just because i was given no time to know this man or my relationship with him but im channeling it into my character as "she doesn't feel as hurt as she knows she should and doesn't know how to process any of this"

why are the names written in like this. this makes no sense everyone else is listed by surnames except my family. i know it's probably so that you have no established last name but it's weird

loving the fact that i can just x-ray vision all the containers and see what's in everything without even opening them. extremely convenient

YOU'RE STILL HERE

MY BOY

i felt so bad for leaving him behind i m so fucking glad he's okay but also, he has been stuck here alone for like 200 years. the trauma he's coping with is genuinely horrific

my GOD everything looks so beautiful!! i had such a weird clashing emotional experience with this intro bc like. i love new vegas but it is very beige. and there's so much color here despite the destruction. i love the retro futurism aesthetic. the radio music is so jazzy and bouncy. so im having a great time and super excited to explore this new world but also, this is the worst day of my character's life,

PUMPKIN

THERES PUMPKINS

not food

ew

BLUE!!!!!! LOOK AT THAT BLUE i love these i love them

fsadjgh thanks

war never changes

how did this even happen what caused these skeletons to stay like this

sweet rolls....

who did this

shout out to this fucking mannequin for scaring the shit out of me when i looked over here

just. 200 years overdue. it's fine

i keep finding these and i pick them up every time im on a personal mission to find a library to put them in sfjkdg

BLOOD CAN???????

[tomatograter]

What are your thoughts on JuneVris?

I like the ship, but sometimes I wonder if the romance is really There or if I just want to complete the Junevrisrezi Triad or w/e. I loved how their friendship developed over the course of homestuck, I just keep getting stuck on the pesterlog where June tells Vriska that she "kind of hates her". Ultimately they're still friendly after that, with June joking with Vriska by saying "if you ever need someone to punch you in the face again, I'll be there" and all that, but I wonder if June would ever really want a commited relationship with Vriska after that

June says a lot of negative things she doesn't fully mean or, if she means it, she has not taken into account how it will affect others; if jake is on the high end of the constantly-performing-for-acceptance spectrum, june is somewhere at the bottom.

The ease with which she can detach herself from her entire friendgroup and go into extended periods of complete isolation— marked by her friends worrying about her but that worry not being reciprocated, since she's mostly stewing on her own fog of bitter NEET malaise— is something that marks june's biggest flaw but also cements her story-role; she's the Protagonist. Things are secondary to her, not the other way around. She can tune the whole world out of her sight and focus only on whatever she deems worthy.

When she seeks affirmation and justification or even comfort, its not from her Fellow Friends, it's from the general cosmic ideal of... her doing something. The importance/meaning of her existence. The fact that She Needs To Do Something to fulfill her own abstract expectations, and keep busy. Of course our biggest point of comparison for this is when she's still not out to anyone, not even herself, so I'm partial to saying the self-actualization she desperately craves but can't even name has something to do with how she's transgender, and realizing that can be a great step 1 to getting out of that headspace, and moving on.

But related to the above statements and more closely tied with the purpose of your ask: June can and does designate certain people as stand-ins for why "things are going wrong" - and with nobody else to turn to safe for a big boss, these people are mostly her friends. This doesn't mean june is justified or right, and this also doesn't mean she doesn't truly love her friends, just that her feelings are easily overtaken by frustration, and from that frustration surges anger and spitefulness, a trait she closely shares with Jane.

They toe the flimsy line of meanness and arrogance, and sometimes blow up spectacularly. Their sense of inflated self-importance makes them transform everyone else in a liability, under the absolute lens of "I am justified, you are not."

June will holler to the skies that davesprite has somehow driven her out of her mind with his idiosyncrasies, and that her once favorite movies are truly fucking stupid shit for stupid fucking babies, and that roxy is a subhuman robot entirely out of her goddamn mind, and that vriska is a freak phony psycho she wants nothing to do with and is embarrassed to ever have liked; and she feels righteous in her fury. The excuses work, it doesn't matter if they're real. Make up a guy and get fucking mad at him! He's ruining your life! Doesn't that make you feel better? Doesn't that instantly give your life a clearer objective, and the assurance you are better than them? It's so easy. Here's a big red game target; catch it. kill it. scream at it.

It doesn't last, though. And in the aftermath the only thing it reveals is more of that same familiar emptiness.

The frustrations she has personified in her friends are still there, and they remain unaddressed, because the root often laid in june herself. She's mad her friends aren't exactly as she pictured them to be, or else she's mad at herself for ever making something out to be what it wasn't— or she's mad because she believed they could hold all the answers to make life better for her, but they don't.

The june-vriska example is particularly relevant because 'vriska' is part of june's dream of utter escapism; from seemingly nowhere, here comes a cool girl that knows exactly what june has to do always, and shes quirky, snippy, not like the other girls, and she has aaaaaaaall the answers. Except that personality shield has a complex and bloody backstory to all its 'epic' antics, and just as soon as vriska reveals her fragility the dream breaks a little. June has to cope with the fact vriska has flaws she cannot understand or justify, and after having looked up to her for so long she defaults to the emotion "maybe you always sucked after all." - it simplifies the situation. It makes her feel better about projection. That's where "I kind of hate you." comes from. She could have said 'i envy you/want to be you/am frustrated by you/disappointed in you' but the former is quicker.

The words 'June' and 'committed relationship' aren't really some i'd easily associate (She has a bit of a permanence=stagnation problem), but I do think her Protagonitis can only be put in check by the story's own favorite. Vriska can dish it out, and she has a backlog to argue she's important - if not MORE important than june, providing some perspective. Similarly, they can just sort of hang out sometimes and not feel utterly bored by each others presence, as they're picky in similar ways.

When I picture junevrisrezi, it is with june coming and going after vrisrezi have figured it out. They will always be a bit more partial to each other than they are to june, and june's drive to be constantly moving isn't exactly the same as two women who basically spent their childhoods in a murder-happy hellscape and could use a little slowing down, actually. It's not bad, they just have different priorities.

[kyofsonder]

Find the Word 1

I’ve been tagged by several people over the last… 3.5 weeks to find select sets of words in my WIPs, and this time I’m not combining them into a single post. That would be endless to scroll through. So I’ll start with a tag from @inkspellangel and find those words first. Thank you for the tag, for your patience while I was away from Tumblr, and for the chance to play this game!

My Words: hate, understand, bridge, against, people

I’ll Tag: @on-noon, @saltysupercomputer, @calicojackofficial, @midnight-and-his-melodiverse, @junypr-camus, and as always anyone else who wants to join in can use these words (or words from my other upcoming FtW posts) and say I tagged them!

Your Words: pretend, accept, offer, aware, hollow

I have a lot of backlog to get through, but I’ll still put the excerpts themselves under a cut as always. 

I found hate in my Danny Phantom fanfic “Lingering Scars”: 

"As much as I hate to say that you're ever right about anything..." he fakes a shudder, overplaying the movement just enough to earn him a classic Jazz Fenton eye roll, "I definitely would've kept quiet if you'd let me, you're not actually wrong there. I'm the type of guy who's bad at... not doing that. I don't know if it's good or bad that you made me talk, but now that we're digging into the really secret stuff... I have to do this right. There's a place where I can do that, but it's not here. If you can trust me long enough to go there, I'll tell you both what happened to my neck and some other stuff I tried to cover up. I'll show you why I won't disappear on you, or leave either of you alone." 

I found understand in my novel WIP “Apricots”:

Ian takes another long, deep breath. He's not angry now. He's not even annoyed, not really. He's... is there a word somewhere between determination to help someone you care about and resignation to sign yourself up for something you don't fully understand? His emotions are somewhere in that area, trying to settle into something more defined. Not unclear, but... imprecise. It's probably the best he can manage. 

I found bridge in the rough draft of my Given fanfic “Present Tense”:

The height of their hands shifts as they lean to look into his eyes. Disrupting the flow of time he's been watching. His vision is filled with silver instead. A kind of silver that should have its own separate word, as a color all its own. There are places where the silver itself seems slightly worn, seems grey or almost black. This is the bridge that goes there, to the place in their hands that holds time itself. This is how they pull everything into their grasp. Through this silver that isn't just silver. Through these eyes that aren't usually eyes. Looking at the world in a way Mafuyu would never think to try for himself. Still unable to speak, he nods thoughtfully.

I found against in my short story “Hidden Talent”:

After all, rather than emptiness within Vance himself, it's more like an awareness of all the empty spaces around him. He doesn't need to fill himself with something that's missing. He needs to do something about that awareness itself. Noticing the empty places in a room or a building or even a park, the areas that look blank or vacant. It's those blank spaces that are hungry for something to give them color or presence. They're fading away. They need something to anchor them, to bring them back, and he becomes so hyper-conscious of that need that it makes him hyper-conscious of his own presence, too. His head so full of thoughts, his chest so full of emotions, he ends up feeling like some kind of moving painting himself. Standing out against these spaces that have nothing. It gets under his skin every time, to the point he starts to feel sick with the infuriating need to balance the vibrant and the vacant. The bright and the blank. Give a little paint from the place that has too much and deposit it in places that don't have enough. Wash the excess layers of it off himself and reset. Recolor. Rebalance.

I found people in my Given fanfic “Present Tense”:

A Gibson Hollow-Body, Uenoyama-kun had said. It's been awhile now since he first heard the term, but it still rattles around in Mafuyu's head sometimes. As if his head, too, is hollow and he's desperate to fill it with words -- with the ideas and voices of other people. Maybe that's the right way to learn an instrument, or to have friends, or to be a lover. Maybe it's just a way to distract himself. Maybe it's a way of collecting things that someone else has said, until he can say something on his own. The way he does when he sings. The way he gathered so many of Ugetsu-san's words and his band mates' feelings to make his last song. He's not sure what he's actually trying to do, one way or the other; but he can feel the downward slope of this particular word as it settles into a more or less set position in these early morning thoughts. Hollow.

It took me a long time to get to this one, but I did find every single word on the list – the words against and people showing up so often they stopped looking like real words – and I had fun figuring out how to keep my excerpts short while also sharing what I want to share. Thank you again for the tag!

[jackie-whisperwind]

I posted 192 times in 2022

That's 192 more posts than 2021!

23 posts created (12%)

169 posts reblogged (88%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

meursaulty

extravalgant

wizzycore

stormbreaker101

I tagged 192 of my posts in 2022

#jackie rbs - 167 posts

#jackie posts - 25 posts

#wizard101 - 12 posts

#headcanons - 6 posts

#i love this sm - 3 posts

#these are so cute!! - 2 posts

#!!! - 2 posts

#omg this is beautiful!!! - 2 posts

#this is so cool - 2 posts

#asks - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 131 characters

#like trying to nurture something but like burning it all the time because your too passionate and your emotions get the best of you

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

playing a privateer is like spamming the buff button and then occasionally throwing bombs at the enemies

13 notes - Posted June 21, 2022

#4

Can you do myth and balance for the dual school pls ❤️❤️

sure thing!! im still currently obsessed with the idea so we're in this together <3

These wizards come across as standoffish and calculating most of the time. They’re glances being taken at face value. Almost like numbers are in their eyes. But if they looked deeper, if they looked to where they exactly are looking, they’d find a much simpler answer. They would find that they are looking for the exit. Constantly figuring out the fastest way out. Chasing the door because it’s the only thing that feels familiar to them. Like a child having to watch the horrors from afar.

They’re given the title of legendary very easily. Few and far in between while also being hard to get a hold of. Very akin to the same creatures and stories they study and learn over their lives. But would anyone know that they also wish to see the wonders? To be able to step out of the cave they were cornered in and to see the world through a different lens. Looking at the grassy hills and purple skies with joy and courage. Gazing at the starry sky, counting as many as they can thinking it’ll be the last.

Needless to say, they spend a lot of time in their head. Creating worlds and universes with encyclopedia entries down to even the different types of grasses. Inserting people into their lives they wish were there. Having people who they would love to talk to, becoming their friend. Annoyances becoming villains and them becoming the heroine with a sword and shield at the ready. Winning the day against the dragon queen with light and hope. A very bright future contrasting their dark look on life and the spiral.

If you were to get close to them, you might even see something different and strange compared to the rest of them. A warming feeling emanating off of them. A aura that feels like cashmere and beige, but dappled with gold and eccentricity. Something about them is so comforting and alluring. Yet so wild and unpredictable like a story half written. And you are the muse that finishes the last half. In color, or grayscale, depending on how you want this story to end.

17 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

#3

this is another addition of the dual schools post! its kind of a sadder one so to speak; but i hope its not too depressing!

the combo for this one is death + myth :]

How often do they mourn the loss of those who would fall quiet on your lips. A voice seeming not really their own, as if they’re speaking for someone else. They speak about them as if they were still here, as if you could give them a hug and know exactly what they were feeling. But it’s all just backlogs and memories stored too deep for anyone to look through. Pages so thick with dust they look double in size.

Catacombs and mausoleums becoming some of their favorite spots. Being able to talk with people who have a fear of being forgotten, and the wizard having the burden of being unforgettable. Cursed with knowledge they wouldn’t pass onto anyone else. A torch burning bright and hot just leaving you with burns and scars until it finally takes your body. Even in death you would be asked to help you think.

Somber is the best word to describe these wizards. Given the knowledge and sometimes weight of being the unknowns vessel. Being told to write a book on things no one else would understand. To understand a language so convoluted yet so clear to you. But they would write it, they would write 3 books if it meant someone else might start catching on. If they had to publish a lengthy series, they would do it. People need to know this; people need to at least feel this weight with them.

Once you finally see past them and their ‘gift’ do you see what they are. You will see someone who cares so deeply for everyone to be heard and understood. A child who just wanted to feel included and feel loved in their community. The question you should ask yourself is not if you should help them, but rather, why do you want to help them. Is it because you feel the need? Or maybe because it’s simply the right thing to do. Either way, only they will decide if you picked the right answer. For they are the speaker of the dead and the lost; they never needed to add your voice to their choir.

19 notes - Posted April 13, 2022

#2

i was very inspired by @t00thbox who made a post about the death school! they brought up some amazing points that got my brain going so I came up with this!!

the only warning I have is that there is mentions of bruises and cuts of sorts so beware of that!! otherwise enjoy!

For some people it’s hard for them to accept the give and take of the world. Fearful of the things that could be so easily taken away from us. Albeit a person, an object, an idea; whatever it is they would defend it with everything they have. Fighting until there’s dirt under their fingernails.

You would think the same thing looking at some of us. Wounds covering our body, lacerations and deep bruises seeming more common than any blemish or discoloration. Your thoughts may wander to the countless acts of selflessness that we acted upon. Shielding the weak with our bodies. Throwing up a banner of revolt and charging head first.

That would’ve been more heroic if that was true. In reality, we act as conduits. Siphoning our own soul so that someone else could achieve those same heroics we could never even dream of. Sparing no expense as long as it fills them with a sense of power and courage.

But at the end of the day, we all are bones. We return to the soil and ash we were molded from. Only our bones remain as our last eulogy is written in a tongue only our brethren can decipher. And as our caskets are lowered, only those of the same school may lower their heads in respect.

The duty of a necromancer is a long one. A journey that takes you down roads that have been long forgotten. But it is one of the more meaningful paths you’ll come across.

20 notes - Posted September 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

here’s a quick little blurb that I’ve been working on for a little bit now!! it was sparked by Val’s brilliant dual schools post 🖤

this post is about a fire + life school combination!

They’re extremely passionate people. Always wishing and pushing for a future that they hold dear in their heart. The same heart they wear on their sleeve. Beating loudly for anyone who wants to listen; to hear their song of love and loss. To the beat of their past experiences and what they hold fast to.

They have the same gentle touch that is known about life wizards, but there’s some depth to it. Instead of a soothing wave of calm washing over you it’s more of drive that comes from them. A sense of adrenaline surging through you like a forest set ablaze by not arson, but with purpose. You can stand up now with renewed vigor, not by usual means, but with valor knowing that no one else can complete this task but you now.

They’ve been known to be quite stubborn in their opinions and way of thinking. But they don’t mean to come across that way. They just believe so fully with their souls that it’s true. Believing is without seeing and without judgement.

23 notes - Posted April 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[downtonabbeyrevisited]

Season Two Episode Two

Following a typically chaotic opener, Episode Two of Season Two strikes a far more sombre tone. The arrival of Henry Lang as Robert’s valet brings the first of this episode’s three plot points that address the impact of WW1 on the mental health of its soldiers. There is nothing funny to say about either shell-shock or suicidal ideation both of which are vast, complex issues that, for my money, Downton Abbey isn’t the vehicle explore in (because they require more time and depth than the pace of the plot in Season Two affords) and it certainly isn’t my place to make light of them in this rather irreverent corner of the internet. So I’m going to have a go at treading a fine line here. Forgive me if I stumble. 

Lang is clearly in the grips of something awful and yet in an attempt to avoid the indignity of having maids in the dining room, he is bumped up to footman duty. He struggles throughout, culminating in him depositing his cargo on Edith’s dress. Mrs O’Brein has firmly taken Lang under her wing, recognising that he is struggling and offers him assurance and comfort that she has never gifted to Thomas. 

Across the Village, Lieutenant Edward Courtenay is in the hospital having been blinded by gas. The use of gas (both chlorine and mustard) had a devastating impact on soldiers in WW1 but was also the root of the development of Zyklon B. Frtiz Haber, a German Jewish chemist, enabled chlorine gas to be used a weapon in WW1 and his research was later developed into the Zyklon process which was used by the Nazis to murder millions, including his own family. This is only one of a dizzying number of appalling ironies to be found in the World Wars but as I said last episode, I’m not a military historian so I’m going to leave it there. Edward had plans to return to the country after his graduation from Oxford to pursue the simple life (although one gets the feeling that his idea of the pursuit of a simple life will still be one that is very well upholstered). Thomas has taken it upon himself to read Edward’s letters to him and  together with Sybil is helping him to adjust to living life with a different set of parameters. But growing pressure on the hospital’s limited capacity means that he is to be transferred elsewhere. All three voice their dissent at varying volumes to Major Clarkson who falls back on the very real backlog of wounded men. After Edward has died, Major Clarkson, Isobel and Sybil talk about a renewed need for the Abbey to become a convalescent home, an idea that has been bubbling under the surface for a while now. Meanwhile, Thomas has been left on his own to process both Edward’s death and the implications of witnessing a lack of support given by his own physician to those with depression.  

The usually reliably jovial Mrs Patmore also has a more somber episode with her pursuit for the truth about the death of her nephew Archie. Robert finds that he has been shot for cowardice. Not only does this mean that her family is in mourning but they will now have to navigate the stigma and undue shame that came with having a relative die in this way. So entrenched in British life was the derision levelled at those who were shot for cowardice or desertion that it was only in 2006 that pardons were offered by Britain for 309 of those that were executed by firing squad during WW1. I know I said I’d leave it there with the military history, but that felt like an important bit of context. 

We are now in 1917 and Matthew is still in the same trench that he was in 1916 (a detail I hadn’t actually noticed until I got the screen cap for this) so it looks like his strategy of downing tools mid-fight and continuously popping back to Blighty for important plot developments isn’t really paying dividends. Perhaps the addition of William to the ranks will help him? William certainly seems to think so and if the speed at which he moves through the various stages of his ‘relationship’ with Daisy is any indication of his tactical prowess, the British Front will not only be well within Germany’s borders but will be breathing down Russia’s neck in a fortnight. In any other episode, this would certainly get the award for oddest relationship dynamic but Sir Richard Carlisle exists. 

Sir Richard makes his debut at Downton, having been introduced in name only in the previous episode. He and Mary met at Cliveden which is a regular haunt of mine, giving me hope that one day I too will from a strategic alliance with a newspaper magnate. He may know how to talk his way around a boardroom but he is lacking in the sartorial department. Whilst Sir Richard manages to avoid catching fire in his tweed, Lavinia is not free from the heat as he threatens her with his connection to her uncle. He may not know much about navigating the niceties of Downton, but at least he has cottoned on to the fact that any major disagreement should occur under a specific tree. Whilst Mary’s signature move is weeping into her gloves, Sir Richard’s is grabbing women by the forearm. A female friend of mine told me that one of her favourite things about the pandemic and the compulsion to keep 2m away from anyone (and not just emotionally) is that she has not been ’steered’ by a male hand on her lower back since 2019. It turns out that she can enter and exit rooms just fine on her own and I get the impression that Lavinia could get the gist of Sir Richard’s rage without the vice like grip of a man probably about twice her age. 

Twinned with the ’tree of emotional conflict’, the ‘platform of romantic uncertainty’ provides the backdrop for Sir Richard’s proposal of marriage to Mary which is a declaration that really feels like it should come with a series of well-formatted charts. Mary’s heart, however, is still very much with Cousin Matthew. After being counselled by Carson in a type of conversation I cannot imagine her ever having with her father, she is on the verge of coming clean with Matthew. But in the second round of Lavinia vs. Mary, Lavinia declares that she ‘could not go on living’ without Matthew and Mary winds her neck in. 

Also having a romantic entanglement this episode is Edith. Drake, previously of dropsy fame, has lost his farm hands and Edith turns up to offer her help in a wildly unsuitable trouser and heeled boot combo. But she soon gets down to it by pulling up a tree stump and flirting in a barn whilst a rather lovely border collie looks on (I’m currently trying to talk myself out of getting a border collie and this incident has done nothing to help things). After showing Drake that she can drink from a bottle like literally every single other human on the planet, the two share a kiss and some highly awkward dialogue that only slightly resembles ‘Carry on Downton’. 

Whilst Edith is more than happy to crack on in a barn, Mr Molesley is much more backwards about coming forwards. Apparently having predicted the creation of ‘The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society’, he figures that a book is the perfect kindling for romance when you exist in a glossy depiction of the past. Sadly neither Elizabeth nor her German garden can lure Anna from Bates who is fast shaping up to be schrodinger’s boyfriend. Anna proceeds to make some odd analogy where she compares Mr Bates to her moon-based child, revealing a rather unhealthy amount of codependency in that particular relationship. 

Romantic declaration of the moment 

Again, it feels like anyone but Sybil and Branson should get this but I am an agent of chaos and here we are. Branson defends Sybil’s will to work and has ample opportunity to see her shine in her chosen field. The admission that she will not be returning to her old life is a little chink of light that Branson basks in. 

Expressive eyebrow of the week 

I nominate Carson’s entire face when he realises that he has taken on too much and goes an impressive shade of red. As Carson frets about spoons, sauce, and something I can’t quite fathom, he starts to resemble a man who is re-arranging the deckchairs on the Titanic. Carson’s battle to get a cork out of a bottle and knocking into chairs is a warm up to his rather dramatic collapse which is accompanied by a pretty disturbing groan. Sybil springs to action and he is soon efficiently ensconced in his own quarters. 

Wait, what? 

“I got a lot done on the train” Clearly Richard was on a train that was unencumbered with the wifi issues that plague the Pendolino.  

“It takes a good deal more than that to shock me.” Mary’s shock-o-meter is a pretty odd instrument. It is unresponsive to corpses of diplomats but goes into absolute meltdown at the notion that she might have to live in a cottage. 

“Let's hope my reputation will survive it.” I’ve not checked (and I categorically never will) but I would put money on the fact that someone has created a rarepair out of this. 

“How can Matthew have chosen that little blonde piece?” Is Lavinia blonde? Women’s hair is not really my forte but I would have thought she was more akin to Tim Minchin than 1998 Justin Timberlake. 

“I believe in this war. I believe in what we are fighting for.” William seems to have a better grip on what all of this is about than I ever did in high school history. The ‘A’ that eluded me is heading his way. 

“I thought he might've died for love of you.” How I love snipey Thomas. It’s good to have him back. To borrow a quote from Bottas (another man who is currently living a life in which his destiny is his own demise) ‘traditions’. 

“Fold it in, don’t slap it” The more season two goes on, the more I think that Moira is just an amalgamation of some choice elements of Julian’s kingdom.