#ive been drawing a lot for it so i might end up posting more in the future

[allunatory]

Some sketches! Been playing on a fun server recently and there's a whole lot going on

[sketchtastrophee]

YARNABY!! first time ive done actual lineart in a long time

ch4 spoilers and a bit of a rant below!!

okay yall i wanna make a pitch.. so i personally thought ch4 was really good but i see some ppl say it wasnt scary and i think i know why. there wasn't a focal villain following u which is part of it, but in this chapter we also had a lot of allies. i think ch5 is guaranteed to be scarier cuz it's basically just us and the prototype (as of what we know rn). ollie was prototype, poppy is probably kidnapped LMAAO and kissy is super injured, so we have to fend for ourselves

anyways onto my pitch. i think if ch4 was to be scarier there'd need to be a stronger emphasis on harley throughout the whole chapter and (here it comes) no safe haven.. HEAR ME OUT.

safe haven would still exist, it's just that we would have found it already destroyed. this would mean we meet doey after we find it and ollie would be the main one helping us thru puzzles as he did in ch3. maybe leading up to us finding safe haven, he keeps talking about how great it is and how we need to get there, but once we do, we find that everyone has been massacred.

this would make the "it was me the whole time muahaha" reveal darker at the end of the game, because (in this ver of ch4) prototype would've been pretending as if he hadn't personally gone in there and brutally murdered a bunch of innocents. bro was acting like he had no idea it was destroyed 😭

it would also make doey a bit more unhinged because we would be finding him after he's lost everyone. he'd be an ally, but scarier bc he seems like he might turn on us at any moment.

also in this ver of ch4 doey wouldn't be the final battle, harley would. i have an entire revamp of ch4 actually.. it's just sitting in my docs. it goes into more detail on how other stuff would be changed but i didn't post it cuz i didn't want to seem like i dont like the game 😢 idk if i should post it, it's like 3.6k words long

oh also heres the sketch of this drawing. im kinda bummed out that the back legs were lost in translation when i did the lineart 😭 hard to tell which ones the left one

(if anyone saw me post this earlier.. um.. NO U DIDNT..)

[eliza-and-her-monsters]

the tortured poets department

Info Post

Moodboards

Part I

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Contains/TW: depictions of autism ‘meltdowns’/panic and overstimulation, slight depictions of asthma. PSA i’m portraying amelia’s autism in similar ways to how mine works and what it does to me so if yours works differently that’s okay! ASD affects us all who have it in different ways 🖤

A/N: i will admit i struggled a bit with this one so it might not be as great. i hope you enjoy it regardless though :,) ALSO to those of you who loved Jinx and Millie’s friendship you’ll probably like this one! 🖤 (also another psa last chapter of 2024 🤭)

WC: 4.6k

Part IV

The Bolter

It felt like every inch of me was shaking as I speed-walked down the hallway towards the locker room. My arms tightly wound around myself as Vi’s words echoed in my head like an angry mantra. No, no no no… you will not victimize yourself right now. Take care of Ellie. For once just take care of someone else. It wasn’t to say I hadn’t been yelled at before, countless times I found myself on the receiving end of my parents frustrated anger or my tutors’ impatience. Even Caitlyn and I had for sure gotten into a few screaming matches before. But for some reason hearing it from Vi’s voice hurt more than anyone else’s.

I roughly wiped at my eyes before I could push my way into the locker room, momentarily forgetting about the contacts that had been shoved into them which caused me to grimace at the feeling of them shifting. I tried to blink away the blurriness as I stepped into the room. Ellie stood over the sink, already shrugged off all of her gear now clad in a simple black tank top as she carefully dabbed at the splotch underneath her eye with a wet cloth. “Ellie? A-Are you okay? How’s your head?” I questioned as I cautiously crept into the empty locker room.

“Haven’t had any complaints yet.” She joked with a shrug causing my expression to fade into a little scowl. “Relax, I’m fine. My ego’s more bruised than anything, I think.” She sighed as she whirled around to face me, cautiously pulling the cloth away from the glowing ice burn along her cheekbone.

“It’s gonna leave a sick scar, you should say ‘you should see the other guy.’” I teased, gently pressing on her shoulder to get her to sit down until she hoisted herself up on the sink.

Her lips upturned in a slight smile as she let out a little chuckle. “Except I’m pretty sure she looks a whole lot better than me.”

“Not whenever she made an ass of herself.” I spoke, eyebrows drawing together in a look of concentration as I stole the warm cloth from her hands to press to her cheekbone instead. Ellie hissed a bit in pain, curling her hands around the counter of the sink with a shuddering breath.

“Fuck, all this time out of service and it’s made my pain tolerance eat shit.” She remarked with a small cringe screwed on her face before it softened. “A-Are you okay? After what she called you? I-I don’t even know why she did it- that was so disgusting-“

“Els, I’m okay.” I confirmed, softly stroking her shoulder with my free hand. “I’ve been called worse.”

“You shouldn’t have been.” She spoke with a shake of her head, slowly and carefully the weight against my hand increasing as she leaned into my touch. “I’m sorry I- I should’ve known she was going to be an ass today after yesterday and I-I should’ve kept you from it I-”

“Ellie…” I frowned, my facial expression shifting into one that was slightly more stern as I took my other hand to hold the other side of her face with. Her green eyes were glassy, as if she was holding back an absolute avalanche of tears. So much more innocent than she would ever let herself show… except for maybe to me. “You’ve gotta stop blaming yourself for things that aren’t your fault.”

She let her eyes shift, a subtle understanding between the two of us as she peered downwards. “It’s not as if she doesn’t have a right to be angry. Her- Her dad- He was a civilian doctor on base with us.“ Her throat bobbed as she tried to recount the tale with as much strength as she could. “Some of the guys that were stationed with me were… these disgusting pigs that thought because they were in the army they had some sort of authority over civilians though and took to harassing the shit out of him basically until they were forced to move. I don’t know why she blames me… maybe I guess because I’m the only one left she can blame. Or just an easy target.” She ran a slightly shaking hand through her hair. “I’ve tried to be friends with her so many times but she just isn’t having any of it and takes so much of her anger out on me I-I don’t know what to do.”

I didn’t know what else to say, I seldom did whenever she told me some of the stories of her past. All of my own suddenly seeming to pale in comparison. She was never a fan of the narrative that it was selfish to be so depressed whenever other people ‘had it worse though. It was her who taught me that bravery came in so many different forms. Nevertheless I let my lips press to her forehead before pulling her into my arms, being propped up on the sink counter finally allowing her to snuggle her head into my shoulder as she wrapped her own arms around me.

“It’s much too difficult to not love you. I think one day she’ll see that.” I gave her another gentle squeeze, lingering there for just a second longer before I heard the swing of the door opening.

Ellie immediately slid down from the sink, moving in front of me almost protectively just before Vi stepped around the corner with that same scowl on her face, though she seemed to be trying to hide it more this time. “So, you gonna lose the eye?” She remarked with a hint of humor behind her tone as she pulled the gloves from her bruised fingers.

“Oh uhhh yeah, probably gonna have to amputate.” She teased mildly before making her way towards the lockers. “Where’s Abby?”

“Brief suspended absence… to get her shit together.” Her words seemed to hold more information than she let on. “Sevika wants you to take the rest of the day off though too since you looked pretty shaken up.”

“That’s humiliating.” Ellie huffed as she retreated back towards her locker to pull out a simple grey hoodie to pull on over her tank.

“Els, it isn’t so bad, I mean we have club rush later on today anyways, you could probably use the extra time.” I frowned once more, always trying my hardest to be positive whenever Ellie of all people couldn’t. She was always better at excelling with that kind of thing than I was.

“I guess, I just… I don’t know. How I long for ego dissolution.” She voiced with a shake of her head as she pulled a Carhartt beanie over her head. “I think I’m gonna head back to our place and hit the showers but I can meet you at club rush later on?”

“Sure, just text me.” I added just before she slung her backpack over her shoulder. Her eyes briefly glancing to mine as if she was hovering, wondering if she was safe to do our usual goodbyes. The forehead kisses and hugs, always remembering to tell each other that we loved one another. She decided against it though, just shooting me a weak smile before shuffling towards the door.

“See you, Mills.” She replied, my heart stinging in my chest as I caught my feet briefly trailing a few steps in her direction. ‘God, don’t pull away from me. Please don’t pull away from me.’

Meanwhile Vi’s presence felt like a looming ghost behind me, the burn of her eyes on my back lingering all the while. “Come here.” I heard her speak up with a clear of her throat from her spot on the bench.

My eyebrows furrowed together in frustration in response however, my arms folded across my chest as I whipped around to face her. “You know you don’t get to just tell me what to do, right? First you yell at me outside to leave you alone and now you’re actually telling me to approach you a-as if nothing happened?”

Vi started at me long and hard, eyebrows narrowing in a way that had me instantly regretting my sudden backbone. Nevertheless I tried to maintain my best Kiramman face, slanted eyebrows and darkened eyes that probably only resulted in me looking like an angry or sad puppy. “I was going to apologize.” She finally spoke up after a moment, dropping her hands to her sides as she slowly took a few steps towards me. “I just didn’t want your back towards me whenever I did.”

I drew backwards whenever her body approached mine, my breath hitching in my throat as my back suddenly hit the side of a locker even though she hadn’t even gotten that close. “I’m sorry, for raising my voice at you. I just wanted to protect you.”

“From what?” I whispered, hands shaking as I slid my arms back around my waist as if trying to give myself the illusion of someone else’s arms around me.

“From you seeing things if they went south.” Vi stated, finally dropping herself down onto one of the benches that wrapped around the lines of lockers. “Now… will you please come here?”

I probably shouldn’t have. I knew it wasn’t smart of me and I had probably well and truthfully lost the plot. Her history with my sister was enough of a reason but the addition of the other stuff, the fighting, the mysterious death that I had yet to learn about but was too afraid to ask about. It was all such a bad idea and I knew that. But every aspect of love that had ever been in my life so far had been a bad idea.

I let my feet shuffle towards her, muscular arms sliding around my waist the moment I got close and my breathing hitched in my throat once more as I felt her pulling me right onto her lap. “Does it make you uncomfortable? Me holding you like this?” She wondered, hands gently ghosting along the ends of my hoodie as if she wanted to slip them up the fabric. And I think I nearly wanted her to. “You’re always shaking.”

“No… I just- I- nobody’s ever touched me like this before.” I answered before settling my clearly trembling hands around her shoulders. I used to always shake whenever people touched me, and still did if they were new. Partially because I never knew if it was going to be a rough touch or a gentle one. The same could be said for intimacy, I had never allowed myself the graces of pleasure before. The idea of exposing myself to somebody was horrifying, being so vulnerable and laid out so bare whenever they could choose to be whichever version of themselves they wanted.

“Never?” She spoke, the smallest gasp slipping from my lips the moment I felt her hand sliding underneath the fabric of the hoodie. Calloused fingers dragging along my bare skin nearly causing me to whimper at the goosebumps that followed.

“Never.” I answered, gulping an anxious lump down my throat. My legs shook as they were practically wrapped around her waist. I wanted to tear off her jersey and feel her muscles underneath again. Trace every line of her biceps and the tattoos inked on top of them, her hands sliding up my spine nearly causing me to arch against them. “Vi- Vi, this can’t just be physical. I-It has to be more than that.”

“What makes you think it is?” She questioned, and I almost whined the moment her warm hand left my skin. “I’ve been trying to sneak into that pretty little head of yours for a while now.”

“My head isn’t a pretty place.” My eyebrows furrowed slightly as I peered downwards in what could’ve almost been interpreted as shame.

“The dark parts too then. I wanna see those too.” Vi whispered.

The look in her eyes was too soft to be insincere, and I caught myself searching her face for any sign of it. I came up empty every single time. And before I knew it I was swirling a strand of her pink hair around my finger just before brushing my lips to hers. Vi’s grip around my waist only seemed to tighten as she pressed me to her. I could’ve sworn I even heard a whimper from her lips as I entangled my fingers through her soft hair. It didn’t last nearly as long as our kiss last night had, though I still felt every bolt and zap of the electricity that seemed to connect through us. My lips pink and swollen as she lightly drug her teeth through my bottom one just before I was left breathless.

“I wanna see you tonight… not to do anything I just- I just wanna see you. C-Can I?” It was the first time I had seemed to catch her flustered as she stared up at me with red cheeks, and not just from the natural chill of the ice rink.

It was hard to say no to the look on her face, so with a delicate hand pressed to her cheek I nodded. “Okay.”

~

“Boo!” I heard Jinx exclaim the moment I stepped outside, suddenly feeling like the hoodie I wore wasn’t enough to beat the chill that ran through me as I only jumped the tiniest bit. “Ha! Made you jump!” She teased as she pointed a long purple nail my way. “So, did you guys kiss and make up?”

“Uhhh… I mean-“ I stammered, my own cheeks suddenly a bright red as I caught my bottom lip in between my teeth.

“Yeah, you totally did, it’s written all over your face.” She laughed once more before reaching for a bright blue bike chained up to the rack next to mine. “Relax, new girl, I’m not gonna go all guard dog on you because you’re totally into my sister.”

“How come?” I wondered, almost afraid of the answer as I shuffled up towards my own bike.

“Because no offense, you kind of don’t really look like you could hurt a fly.” She chuckled a bit as she hoisted herself up onto the seat. “Going to club rush?” She added with that same smirk-like smile she always seemed to have.

“I guess… my sister told me it was kind of, you know, mandatory unless I wanted to have a really lonely next four years.” I shrugged casually before hopping up onto my own seat and peddling off behind Jinx.

“You seem like you’d be okay with having a very lonely next four years.” Jinx remarked with another little laugh. “Not that being in the ‘esteemed Kiramman family’ could provide a lonely existence.”

“Maybe if you’re Caitlyn, no, she’s always been the one with all the social skills and the brains and brawn to boot. I mean, she’d always try and find ways to include me but whenever she went to uni it just, obviously complicated things.” I explained immediately feeling my face heat up in embarrassment as I shook my head, “Sorry, I-I don’t wanna trauma dump.”

Jinx’s bike suddenly skidded to a halt nearly causing me to jolt forward as I pressed down on my brake to not speed ahead. Her eyes seemed to peer directly into mine with a look I hadn’t really seen from her before. Was it… sympathy? Empathy? “You aren’t trauma dumping, and for future reference if you need somebody to talk to, I’m here.”

My lips slightly upturned in the corners, hands squeezing around the handlebars as I weakly nodded, “Thanks Jinx, that means a lot.”

“Of course it does.” Her typical grin stretched back across her face before she lifted herself from the seat once more to venture forward. “Now… try to keep up because I’m a fast peddler… and a meddler.”

“I could definitely see that last part.” I laughed just before quickening the pace of my own peddling to speed off alongside her. And for the most part I nearly felt like I was getting at least a small part of what was mostly a lost childhood back. Racing down the block and laughing with your friends on your bike. “So, ummm… you’ve asked a lot about me- what about you? How’d you make it to the UK?”

“Pretty epic twist of fate I guess you could say, dead parents for one.”

“O-Oh my God, I’m so-”

“Eh, it’s all good.” Jinx waved it off easily, “My brain’s blocked a good amount of it out, a ‘trauma response’ or some shit, I guess. But anyways, Vi’s always been a beast on the ice hockey rink and rich people love a good sob story so the second they found out she was an orphaned foster kid with an absolutely adorable and tiny genius little sister the sponsorships started pouring in. So- she played hockey all throughout middle school and high school, I got into robotics and then her senior year she got recruited to Oxford. Then… a few years later I come around and sweep the rug out from underneath her feet with an engineering scholarship.”

I was almost stunned into silence as we skidded to a stop at a pedestrian crosswalk. “Wow, sounds like literal inspiration porn.”

“Oh, you have no idea.” She said with a laugh almost making me sigh in relief that she wasn’t offended. Though it seemed pretty difficult to offend Jinx. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. It’s not like we didn’t go through a lot. The foster system is hardly a walk in the park but… having a super sporty older sister helps.”

“And being smart yourself too… you have to give yourself credit for that.” I suggested shyly with a casual shrug.

“Maybe… at least mildly. I’m a degenerate, but a pretty brilliant degenerate.” She grinned, causing me to let out a little laugh of my own as we continued to peddle along the path. “So, what clubs are you looking to sign up for? You should totally go for drama, the professor who runs it is a fucking lunatic.”

“I don’t know if I’m necessarily a, you know, drama club kind of girl-”

“And do I look like I’m a drama club kind of girl?” Jinx wondered with a lifted brow.

“Yeah, a bit actually.” I answered causing her to roll her eyes in a way that only proved my point. “I mean, maybe, but I’m not like… going for lead role or anything.”

“You know, isn’t it funny how the people who say that always end up being the lead in some way?” She spoke in a sing song voice as she twirled a strand of her bright hair around her finger.

“Do I even need to ask to know that ao3 is somewhere in your browsing history? Or tumblr maybe?” I teased with a snicker that faded the moment I heard the first telltale signs of Oxford’s club rush.

I’m not sure what I was expecting, I guess I should’ve expected exactly this. With over 400 clubs club rush spanned a week long and nearly took over the entirety of the main quad and then some. It felt like a weeklong party of freshers and curious and bored upperclassmen alike. I absolutely should’ve been better prepared for the boatload of people filing in and out of the massive courtyard completely taken over by white tents and set ups every club had probably spent weeks working on. For some reason though I had a feeling no amount of research or planning could’ve prepared me for it though.

“Oh shit.” I cursed, immediately skidding to a stop so fast I nearly launched myself over the handlebars this time.

“Hey, chill new girl, before we get matching concussions!” Jinx exclaimed as she pressed her foot on the ground to stop herself. Her expression softened slightly though once she took a look at my face. Probably as white as a sheet much like the knuckles that gripped my handlebars. “Hey, what’s up with you? What happened?”

“Uhhh… umm, autism?” I stammered simply as I nearly scrambled off of the bike, almost drawing blood from my bottom lip at this point. “Ummm, so- I-I can’t go in there but- don’t let me hold you from it.” My words were a shaking mess as I tried to drive the bike away from the commotion. Jinx only chased me down like the stubborn girl she was.

“Well, I’m sure as shit not leaving you out here to panic by yourself!” She voiced as she trudged off behind me to find a bench before my knees could give out from below me.

“That might actually be the best option for you in all honesty.” I answered in a shaking voice, finally giving up before I found subtle solace underneath one of the large trees to prop my bike up against.

“Okay, what would be the best option for you?” Jinx’s boots cracked underneath the fallen branches as she watched me drop the backpack from my shoulders. Every inch of me nearly felt like it was shaking as she cautiously approached me. “Because if you honestly want me to leave then I will but- don’t just say that because you’re trying to spare me from something. You aren’t a burden, Amelia.”

I tensed at first whenever I felt her cautious hand on my shoulder, it felt like every sound was getting louder and louder by the minute and I had to fight the urge to not launch myself into her arms right then and there. “C-Can we sit down?” My words shook nearly as hard as my legs did, threatening to give out any moment.

“Yeah, ‘course.” Jinx nodded quickly, already kneeling down to try and clear a spot underneath the tree even though it was already pretty clear. It was like she was trying everything she could to be helpful.

I guess you could’ve said my meltdowns were different than a lot of the ones you probably see portrayed. It was rare I ever yelled or expressed anger, I never hit anything, sometimes I would scratch at myself or pull my hair. But more often than not they were silent killers. The uncomfortable shaking, muscles giving out, the crying, oh god the crying was more exhausting than anything. If I was in public I tried my hardest not to, though most of the time that took more out of me than the actual crying did. All I knew was to retreat. Retreat, run, hide, curl up into a ball and hoped that eventually it would pass. Even though occasionally it almost felt like the aftermath was one of the worst parts. The depression that followed, the shame, the embarrassment, the apologies to everyone else even though I still didn’t know how I would’ve prevented it.

That was the worst part of all.

“What can I do to help?” Jinx asked as she placed a cautious hand on my knee that I was quickly hugging to my chest.

“C-Can you text Ellie and Caitlyn the code word, p-please? It’s pineapple. I-It shouldn’t have a passcode.” I questioned through my quivering voice, feeling like my lungs were already sealing shut in my chest much like they had last night. I could tell she was biting back one of her funny remarks as she slid my phone from my hoodie pocket, and I almost wished she would have before the tears started to fall and I became incapable of anything else.

“Inhaler- I-I need my inhaler.” I practically gasped out as I scrambled for my backpack. “P-Please tell me I brought it, f-for fuck’s sakes! H-How am I so stupid?!” I whimpered in frustration as I dug around through my backpack only to be met with no avail.

“Millie, Millie don’t.” Jinx gently slipped her hands into mine before I could start lashing out at myself. “We’ll find it, I promise we’ll find it.”

“I’m sorry.” I spoke through the sobs, apologizing prematurely before I could get any worse.

I clutched her hands for dear life it seemed. The sounds of various students passing by only got louder, the levels of shame coursing through my body causing me to squeeze myself into the same little ball I always did. Retreat, make yourself as small as possible. My breath came out in wheezes, a slow rattling beginning to increase in my chest until it felt impossible to talk. Stupid, stupid, stupid Amelia.

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Jinx spoke, sliding a firm arm around my shoulders until she was able to pull me closer. “Lean on me, I’ve got you.” A sob broke through the cacophony of wheezes as I burrowed my face into the crook of her arm. “Caitlyn and Ellie are on their way, just keep taking deep breaths for me, okay?” I forced a nod as I held onto her arm and let the tears soak into the fabric of her jacket.

It seemed like only a few moments later I heard the rushed sound of feet on the surrounding ground. My lungs only getting tighter and tighter by the second as Caitlyn nearly tripped over her own two feet rushing to the space underneath the tree. “I’m here! Mills, I’m here, I’ve got your backup.” She spoke in an out of breath voice as if she had sprinted the entire way here.

Immediately I forced my hands out to grip the inhaler and shove it in between my lips, sending a blast of the medicated air through my lungs. Afterwards I still held the device in my hands like it was the only thing providing me comfort. Caitlyn gently smoothed out my hair with a soft hand. “You can do a second one, if you need to.” She spoke as I sat there still, holding the device in between my lips even afterwards.

Sometimes I think the person who had supposedly ‘knitted me in my mother’s womb’ actually hated me. Autism wasn’t enough, so we had had to complicate things with severe hypersensitivity in my airways that could’ve been correlated to a development of asthma. Every time I thought I was moving forward and not becoming such a medical nightmare however it was usually squandered by an incident such as this one.

“Thank you for taking care of her, Jinx.” I could tell Caitlyn was biting back her pride as she promptly took me into her arms. For some reason the familiar feeling of my sister’s embrace making me want to cry a hundred times harder. She was always such a quick way to get me to calm down. I always felt bad whenever she had to drop everything and come running. Now for the second day in a row. “My place is pretty close if you want me to take you there. Get you out of here.”

I nodded against Caitlyn’s shirt before trying to pry my face from where it was hidden in her chest. “Jinx, can you text Ellie the address?” I asked, grateful for the stability that was somewhat creeping back into my voice.

“Sure- do- do you want me to come too?” She wondered almost hesitantly as she pushed herself up to her feet. Her usually playful eyes now softened as she still cautiously held onto my phone.

“If it isn’t too much trouble… s-sure.” I nodded with a tearful and weak smile.

Caitlyn hoisted me up onto my still shaking legs where I leaned most of my weight against her. I could tell part of her wanted to carry me like she had done in the past. Like she started doing the moment she hit her growth spurt claiming she wanted me to ‘see what it’s like up there.’ I almost even wanted her to myself, but not here. Not around so many people. I couldn’t make things even worse for myself.

“No, it’s not any trouble at all.” Jinx said sincerely before going to scoop up my backpack for me. “I’ll get all of our things.”

[emerxshiu]

fecto stuff

Drawing myy fecto elfilis gijinka in my style!

gijinka:

my style 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 :

why did i spend so much time on this shitpost lol

thats not all tho

yesterday i tried to do some animations, mainly one of fecto forgo but uh, i fucked up so its gonna sit unfinished forever like most of em. then i decided to animate something simpler like a blinking eye to practice since last time i did an animation was in december, and it was ok. that day i was drawing my chaos elfilis gijinka again and tweaking some stuff since i thougt it was too charged, and also because i dont draw that one a lot. and uh i did this reusing the drawing i was doing

processing/realising

the drawing itself is not finished, i have to shade it and also paint the wings (i get too lazy when it comes to that part of elfilis)

i might have lied last post saying next would be something splatoon or princess peach showtime related but never trust my word because im a dumbass and end up doing other things insted (but more splatoon stuff is coming...eventually, since im working on a redesign of two ocs, i already have one finished but i want to post the two togheter)

ive also been doing a clawroline gijinka (and soon a leongar one) but that one will have to wait since im not that satisfied with it (and also made some small edits on my void one)

also tried out shake art deluxe, it was fun

fecto forgo gijinka jumpscare

Jambuhbye!

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

GOD chapter 59 was SO GOOD n i have a lot to say so sending an ask instead of leaving it on the post.

i /love/ when you make things hyper detailed, because your shading techniques are so much fun to sit n stare at and soak in for a while. that being said, the coloring of the wine spilling is what does it for me this time. it still would have been really cool in bw, but not as cool as seeing all the shades of red over the dark blue bg. you did the glass really well too!! I don't think there's a noticeable difference between the wine color inside and outside the glass which is fine bc it's clear, so it RLY makes me appreciate the lighting you have around the glass rim to show the edge in contrast. that tiny little detail makes the image for me. stellar work. i love it

also i do wanna throw in appreciation for the handwritten serif. super well done at first glance it did look like you'd jus typed it out. idk what texture you have on the brush you use for words but it's rly nice to look at up close.

i think the color kinda tipped me off but i waffled bc i couldn't remember if either of his parents spoke in serif font and was a bit daunted to dig thru 50+ chapters to confirm who it was if it didn't turn out to be them. i'm glad i looked at your tags tho haha saved me the trouble. what a way to end the act too!! i read this one on my phone and was scrolling thru the images at full size and after four or so i kept expecting it to cut off. it was a very pleasant surprise to have it keep going, worth the wait to have a longer chapter :)

maybe it jus wasn't meant to be a la sabo getting the letter from sally. it might have to be stelly after all tho there are things that come before then. what a bad time to have one or both of his parents speak to him for the first time that night. oof can't wait for the next act lets goooo

Oh wowww what a beautifully long review!

Thanks so much im glad you like how it turned out, i’m really happy with it, too! Ive never drawn fluids like this before, but i really needed this page to have that extra kick because it was such a short one.

Because i couldnt figure out how to make this moment look slow mo with multiple different panels on one page, I really wanted to make a piece that is like,, frozen in time instead.

A page like this, you can keep on it as long as you’d like. You can make it as slow mo as you want it to be.

The serif lettering is that of outlook’s!

I dont know if you can see the difference between this and my usual handwriting, but it’s supposed to look taller. Higher up. Neater. Cleaner. (Still my handwriting though so like so actually neat or clean, but you know like,,, in comparison to the norm.)

His dad only talks in one scene, and his mother has never said anything yet, so i dont blame you if you couldnt find it. In my. Large repertoire of chapters ive accumulated.

I definitely felt the same about the pages when drawing them. But probably the opposite feeling lol. Mine was more like “ugh i forgot theres so many. How many more of these do I have to get through??? How did i do this the first act ending with 11 pages???”

Im so glad you guys are on the edge of your seats with the letter :)

Thanks for the ask!

[casually-salad]

The time is ticking, for the both of them.

bonus content below :3

this is the layout of the room zecora is staying in!!!! inside of celestias castle there is a wing with some rooms for diplomats from other parts of the world to stay in, most notably cadence has a bedroom in the castle in that part of the wing. this was a sketch i did of her room to decide how i wanted to lay out the one celestia is in.

now for zecoras gear, its based off this cuuute dark red hazmat suit i had found that i cant find the image of again but i saved the one i based the rest off of, dosent it look kinda dumb? i love it

ANYWAY so with her experiments i planned on drawing a total of THREE????? pannels gruesomely describing it. but i decided it was showing too much and cut it, although i dont have those sketches anymore :/ it was one long poem basically and i think i was just having too much fun rhyming her speech. and SPEAKING of speech, i do try to give every pony a bit of differentiating speech patterns but these two (( three for discord )) so i had a lot of fun writing them. for luna i had to really simplify her speech because she would be talking like this "inlēten ich gī" and that might be more annoying to read than not. i decided to include fluttershy and discords sheets here because. you already know theyre there theres no point in waiting. and yeaaaaaah i changed fluttershy, the colors on my computer screen were so off id be coloring in neons when i thought it was pastels thats why the text was so hard to read for a while. i plan on shifting it around a bit more.

Fluttershy's infection is not able to spread because her cutie marks were removed, frozen in time so that they cannot progress. They eat away at the magic in a corner of the dimension where they can't damage anything or get any worse.

now as for something ive been asked to clarify about before! Lunas dreaming powers! how is she killing the ponies? as how is it works, she has a physical form and a dream form she can switch inbetween unlike most ponies who can only be in their dream form while dreaming, and awake form while awake. because she is in charge of keeping every pony from having nightmares - usually a ponys dream form never ends up dying, and if theres an accident luna can bring them back. but what happens to their physical bodies? usually they wont be able to dream anymore because they dont have a dream body, but if their dream form is purposefully killed.. both die. So as luna passes from dream to dream shes leaving behind a pile of corpses in the dream and waking world

also! because you read this far im doing an AMA, lemme know youre questions, theories, and what you wanna see!! you can send asks or reply to this post - if you send me an ask tho ill probably do a little doodle. ok thank you byebye

[kaihuntrr]

The Sea Prince; Mermay 2024 (+ updates!)

shhhh what do you mean may is almost over-? i made a fun piece and everything!! well. pieces. the first one is a piece i just finished today, and the second is a piece of pearl in her prince form ;> happy mermay!

(i'll be talkin about stuff under the cut, if you just wanna see the art that's a-okay with me! happy to be drawing them again <3)

so. uh. mermay pieces <33 i really wanted to draw some majorwood art since ive been on an art high lately (writing for a good chunk of the year so far makes illustrating/designing SO much more fun) and i think it's coming to an end soon, so might as well end it with the darlings <3

also im?? surprised??? i didnt share pearl's art????? uh. oopsies! its tooootally not a spoiler. ;)

anyway! its been a good while since ive made an update post, and i want to keep y'all up to date with how things are going!

important thing to announce; act one has been completed!

me and @mewhoismyself have worked very hard to write and edit the work respectively, and its over 100k+ words! hope y'all enjoy what we have planned, im very proud of act one (in particular those final few chapters, i love rereading them) <33

as for act two, im taking a break to do other things (college mainly, but also commission work and personal hobbies) but im probably getting back to writing soon! currently, act two is on chapter three, as ive decided to rewrite chapters 2-7 in the original doc, so theres a LOT of cut content. all for a good story! i dont really mind it :0c

finally, im opening up betas again!

theres been a LOT of inactivity from most of them and i have a bit of a schedule to keep, so im hoping that a new wave of betas could help with providing feedback and whatnot. i need clear communication! betas help greatly in letting me know how they feel with the current flow, their thoughts, and anything i need to address before publishing the chapter. id hope to get some new folk on board before my friend and i start developing act two more! <3

just send a message in the comments or shoot a dm! im more than happy to reply :D!

that should be it, so i hope you have a good day! i had a LOT of fun working on the pieces above, and im gonna have fun working on act two, you'll just have to wait and see! <33

[dapper-lil-arts]

So uh. My freelance work here is kind of dying.

I thought i'd keep my long-term followers on the know-how, so i might as well write about my current circumstances here, give y'all an update, so to speak.

So, for several reasons, most of them not even my fault, i've been getting less and less commissions, almost none, actually, and the ones i get are usualy on the cheaper side, which is bad concidering that this is my livelihood, commission money pays my bills, my groceries, and my taxes, and now i sure as hell am strugling to imagine this will sustain me for long. Twitter is a sinking ship ever since elon went over, Specificaly for people like me. I had just broken into 12k followers there, a huge milestone for me, and then i got shadowbanned, and for the last few months i've gotten *nothing*. It's completely dead, i'm stagnated there, all my arts are censored, and there's no way for me to undo it or fix it, and so i've gotten less and less comms out there, which sucks because its the only reason i was even on that stupid site. Here on tumblr, meanwhile, the CEO went on a massive transphobic streak, and a lot of lgbt folk (which composed a lot of my following,) decided to jump ship, and i sure as hell dont blame them, but sadly that's more potential costumers that bailed, and there's no proper website to go to. Anywhere i'd go, i'd be starting from scratch again, which would be utterly disheartening and frustrating, and there no website that is kind to artists, with no algorythim, that also have a messaging system (the latter being ESSENTIAL to the way i do comms) So i'm kind of stuck. I just. have nowhere to go, and nothing to do. And last but not least, my own fault, I've just been drawing and creating what *I* specificaly want, on an hedonistic streak this year. That's why theres so much pony bs on this blog now, and why i was straight up posting poetry a while back, and have written hundreds upon hundreds of fanfiction pages in the last few months; Which, unfortunately, is a terrible business decision if your intent is making money. Which I surely should have prioritized, but in the end, its not up to me, its up to the costumers... So now i'm a bit stuck. I've enjoyed the things ive drawn and written more than anything i've ever done, and yet, i've never been less successful on the actual business side. I'm still considering my venues, my possibilities, but there's not many. Trying to get a job would certainly pull me away from creation, and i'd hate it regardless of what it was, and on another venue, theres no guarantee that going back to furry titties would bring me money.

and that's whats heartbreaking about it too. no matter how much effort i put on my work, theres no guarantee of sucess, so why even spend time trying to craft a masterpiece? why not just follow trends and make a tiktok account or whatever the fuck makes money these days. I'd rather not, frankly. And i wont. Well, that's about it. Thanks for reading this update, that's how my life is goin atm. i'm going to continue doing as i am right now, but yknow... I'm not sure what i should do, if you want to give me suggestions, feel free.

[anime-grimmy-art]

It’s this time of the year again, folks. Time to wrap up the art Ive made in the last 12 months in another Year in Review! I’ve noticed that this is my fifth Year in Review in a row, so I’ll be making an extra post looking back on the progress in those last 5 years!

I've got a lot to say about this year, but purely art wise, I've gone all when it comes to comics, damn! I've kinda found a format that is messy, and therefore more time efficient, yet still looks good. I even made 2 animatics and lotsa shorts/reels! All that on top of opening coms twice, and, oh yeah, MAKING A WHOLE ASS 4MIN ANIMATION ON MY OWN.

How is my hand still alive.

2023 has been….interesting, to say the least. The first half year I was working on my thesis project, aka making an animated short all on my own (in the art department), which makes it honestly surprising how much I managed to churn out between animating. Trigun rly did have me in a choke hold.

Summer was a bit more spotty, esp. with me not being able to draw anything during August as I was writing my thesis (and doing commissions). And towards the end of the year, Kingdom Hearts tried to save me, but alas, Genshin Impact has finally sunk its teeth into me and dragged me to the bottom of the rabbit hole. It all started with me watching a story summary and lore videos while I was sick after my thesis and I was too intrigued to not dig deeper and well, first I fell in love with Kaeya and then the ships started dropping in left and right.

I’m not gonna lie, the last few months have been weird. I finished my masters in October, and have been on job hunt since, sadly without success so far. I’m existing in this weird limbo of still not grasping I’m not a student anymore after 18 years in education, not really being able to accept I’m an adult, yet desperately trying to find something so I can make a routine, cos rn Im too scared to build a rhythm as I know I’ll have a so much harder time readjusting again. It’s left me in a weird emotional state, where most of the time I feel fine, but when it counts, there’s just, nothing. No joy at getting my diploma, no anticipation to finally go to a convention again, neither any sadness hearing my grandfather died. It frustrates me that it extends to my art as well, there’s excitement over ideas and concepts, but no motivation to pick up the pencil, which makes me either not finish art at all or making so many shortcuts and just ending up with sth not satisfactory to me since it’s not the idea I sought after.

Tho, not everything is doom and gloom. I DID finish a whole ass short animation and got my masters degree, that IS sth to be proud of. Also, while Im struggling at drawing, I’ve also kinda started integrating my shortcuts into my style and some stuff I’ve thrown together actually turns out real good nowadays. Also, and this might be a bit of a weird one, I’m so fucking happy to know I can still enjoy gay ships. I’ve been a bit uncertain over the last few years because when I was around 16-18, I had a real big yaoi phase, which mostly came from the fact so much stuff came out that tickled my brain in the right way (Free, Haikyuu, etc.). But over the years, my enthusiasm died down, and I even started to resent some ships because it’s all some fandoms produced. I often found myself liking a hetero ship more than the popular gay ship, which really made me not wanna stick around because I did not care for most fanart and you can only go through a tag with art you don’t care about so long before you lose interest. I think in retrospect that it rly had nothing to do with the ships being gay ships but rather cos the fans just shoved it in your face when you didn’t care (and shipping culture nowadays also can get real scary). But I’m so happy to see I can still get obsessed with a ship and it’s all thanks to Haikaveh/Kavetham. It really just needed the right flavour for me to dig in again. And oh my god, I FINALLY like a ship with a SHIT TON of art and fanfictions, no more scrounging the crumbs from the bottom of the barrel. 

Anyways, enough lamenting. Here’s to hoping I can bite my tongue and get shit started properly in 2024, and that my brainrots may make me obsessed enough to churn out an obscene amount of fanart again.

[cicidarkarts]

GURLLL IM SO GLAD IVE FOUND ANOTHER IDREES SIMP/FANGIRL, HES BEEN ONE OF MY MORE GUILTY HEAR ME OUTS.... 😔 NO BUT SERIOUSLY THOOO...ARE WE GONNA TALK ABT HOW IDREES LOOKED IN THESE SCENES CAUSE LIKEEE... 🤭🤭

LIKE...SIR-- 😳😳

Naah bro he's hot as fuuuck idec what people say. I'm not saying he was right or anything he did is excusable, I'm just saying I would smash. And you know what? Fuck it, this is the Idrees Mega Comp where I'mma put all the screenshots and gifs I've amassed, flattering and unflattering, just full on Idrees deliciousness. Here we go 😩😩😩

(Warning: 18+, might be offensive, I WILL fangirl all over the place, Taliban Schmaliban)

Let's start with the more flattering and cute screens

The BROW 😭😭 So cute, I love how much personality his eyebrow has, fucking adorable

Not a pleasant scene, but fuck I want me to be under this so bad (I'm sorry but I'm also not I wanna be under him SO BAD I'm dying)

Lowkey hot as fuck, I love his little chipped tooth 🥰🥰

The way he went so muted and walked off after this scene says a lot without saying anything (last pic some emo album art lookin uuuugggggh bro knows he royally fucked up and I don't think he's happy about it)

I thirsted over these pics so hard I fangirled all over myself

There is something about this smirking face that has me so fucked up, I would love for him to look at me this way 😩😩💦💦

The back of his head lookin hella 👃👃 and the back of his neck lookin extremely 👅👅👅 I have a thing with hair sniffing (pray for my irl husband (yes he knows about Idrees and no he doesn't care)) and like to imagine Idrees smells like masculine shampoo (cedar, sandalwood, teak, a little artemisia profile) with a hint of fenugreek 😍😍😍💕💕

The end of the movie where he finally sits with all his regrets, realizing he has truly fucked up and there's no going back. The fact that this entire part of the movie, from the time he accidentally discharges his gun to the time he's carted away, is utterly *silent* outside of his uncle's berating lines and Idrees' heavy breathing is eerie and chilling

(30 image limit so enjoy this collage!)

That bio was truly invented to fuck with the fangirls there is no other reason for it to exist 😭😭😭

What do you say we get into some screens that are fucking hilarious?

Bro is flabbergasted. Surprised Idrees face. Idrees when he sees that I've been unequivocally indissociably obsessed with him for nearly 12 months straight. Me when I haven't done dishes in 2 days and the sink looks like Chernobyl. When you wake up and realize you have to exist.

HELP HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S BEING BIRTHED, ACCURATE DEPICTION OF IDREES COMING OUT OF THE WOMB

SOBBING WHY HE LOOK LIKE THAT, GOLLUM LOOKIN ASS MF It hurtses us

And let's have a little gif compliation yaaaas 😩😩😩

Sexy as FUCK bro this isn't even fair. This is literally just fangirl bait like they had NO reason to draw him this attractive outside of fucking with the fangirls. And then people are gonna be mad when I find him hot. This is bullshit, this is sabotage

Look I KNOW I'm not supposed to find it cute or endearing, but the way he delivered the line "I have joined the Taliban" is fucking adorable, sue me

My pathetic wet cat of a man

The detail of the way he grips his gun as everything crashes down upon him just 😩😩😩😩 It's so good, THIS is why I'm writing an Idrees redemption arc and why I'm sooooo obsessed with this man

Yoink

The little detail of his brow raising in incredulity at the utter audacity he's just heard 🥰🥰🥰 Love the animation in this movie fr fr

He's trying SO hard to be intimidating (and this gif really is like goddamn I would be terrified of this irl)

The classic brick'd gif

And I would like to end this post with a lovely little present one of my friends made for me after I said, and I quote, "Taliban Schmaliban, Idrees is so hot". This has become part of my vernacular now

Look all I'm saying is if god didn't want me thirsting over Idrees so much he could've stopped me by now. But I looooove Idrees to an unhealthy degree and I don't ever want to stop 🖤🖤🖤🖤 He is my husband. Hope you enjoyed this mega comp!!

[desert-flowerz]

actually CANNOT explain to you how thrilled i am about this one oh my goodness.

once again, going off this post, this time in response to @tigerbears !! i couldnt screenshot the whole message so im doing this in segments going from top to bottom and cataloguing my thoughts and counterpoints.

of course, this argument does make sense — queen showcases the hologram of a knife, kris is pretty known for their connection to knives, they even use their knife to create the dark fountain at the end of chapter two. seems like a pretty solid bout of evidence. but not necessarily.

see, I'd like to argue that queen doesn't truly know much about the knight, nor how the fountain was created, not in detail. for certain, she knows dark fountains are created via a lightners determination, that they stab into the ground and darkness is born from the act. but, if you look at the video she has — no actual further information is given, pretty strongly suggesting queen herself might not have a whole lot of further information, either. we know she's prone to making assumptions, particularly in regards to the knight — why can't the idea that a knife in specific was used be just one more assumption?

queen is just a computer, she doesnt know everything, after all. she might not necessarily be the most accurate source of information. and wouldnt it make sense, if the only thing she knows for certain is that the knight stabbed into the ground, that she'd draw the conclusion they used a knife? that's certainly what first comes to the frint of my mind witg the association of stabbing (but, then, i might have some confirmstion bias).

kris would also know that the knight, whoever it may be, must have left the computers on. its shown through text interacting with objects in the computer lab that kris has a decent understanding — at least by this point — of how dark worlds work, how they're affected by the light world and the surroundings of the fountain.

... ignore that theyre out of order ive only just realised how to put images side by side but i cant get them to go in the order i want.

BUT ANYWAY, back to theorising and debating. what im trying to say is — kris saw and understood all this before they made the fountain, they easily could have copied off what the knight was doing. of course, this doesn't account for the fact the tv got plugged in overnight, but if this was the plan all along, why make the cyber worlds fountain in the first place, why not simply create the fountain within the dreemurr residence to begin with? especially knowing we as the player would simply seal it as we did with card kingdom.

there could be a number of other reasons for this, i feel, that make a lot of sense as to why the knight has not yet managed to start the roaring. for example, if we were to ascribe to the theory that mayor holiday is the knight (among others, but this was the first i thought of and one i see discussed frequently enough to be of note), it could easily be written down to her being busy — a point that's made again and again whenever she's brought up. in other cases, it could be argued that the knight has to be careful about being discreet, as the more people find out about what's going on, the more people that will try to stop them, thus making their job tremendously more difficult.

and finally, to flip this on its head and argue in the oppisiye direction (because i am an unstoppable force) — i dont think the line in question is referring to what people assume it is, honestly. the closet is supposed to be the city — electronics, wires, all that good stuff. and, as seen interacting with other objects, particularly in chapter two — the text will at times reflect what we saw in the dark world.

i think, more likely than this line in particular being some reference to the knight, is simply another example of this established pattern. of course, there could be a double meaning to it, but it could also been a plain reference to giga queen, seen as that fught occurs within the city.

BUT thats all i gotta say on this, i think — might add on at a later date but honestly who knows. yet again, all screenshots were found on the deltarune text project so all credit there since my points definitely wouldn't hold as much weight without the visual reference (and its honesty just a cool as fuck project).

[thatonebipotato]

gonna ramble about MAWS season 3 predictions and stuff under the cut, its gonna be pretty long and also mostly about conner

ok so first off, MAWS season 3 and conner in s3 are both CONFIRMED LETS GOOO

so i have some thoughts about what i think will happen, at least very specifically with conner

alright so first off, its possible that they could go the standard clone route. thats what im hoping for, as it seems pretty fun and has so much angst potential, especially in this iteration

first off there's the half kryptonian half human thing. thats probably gonna be luthors main draw to why superboy is better. however, thats also gonna be the thing that drives him to isolation, as it tends to do. hes too human to be kryptonian and too kryptonian to be human

luthor and slade, who are fairly good at manipulation, can use this against him and keep him feeling isolated so that he stays with them. knowing them and what they can do, i also believe that they might use kryptonite against him to keep him in line

i believe it could be some kind of sick back and forth, where conner keeps one upping clark and kara and being used as proof that aliens arent needed or wanted, and then clark and kara catching back up and him feeling like hes failing his only purpose

this leads up to a culmination of superboy going against superman and supergirl. ive mentioned the line "i never asked/wanted to be made" coming up before, and i think it could be here that its used

the first season was about clark learning and accepting who he is, then the second was about him and kara learning and accepting who they are, so it does make sense for the third season to also throw in a third kryptonian so they learn who they are together

however, the conner teaser we got shows him looking fairly tan. both luthor and clark are fairly pale in this iteration, so its possible that it could be a clone between lois and clark instead, as ive seen some people point out.

the alternative, which i think is a little bit more likely, is that it will be a conner from an alternate dimension.

alternate dimensions have already been played around with in the first season of MAWS, and as seen in this photo (the second one of the post) from the panel showing off what might be the s3 opening or possibly a promotional poster or smth, it looks like they're not only going to be bringing back the other dimensions, but it seems like that might be the main focus of the season

what i think could happen with this is that they either get to a dimension with conner in it and he helps them with whatever they need, or hes the one/is also traveling dimensions and they just happen to run into each other and they help each other out.

from there, i think we can learn that conner doesnt exist in the main dimension yet, so conner gives clark tips on how to handle him when he finally gets made. that, or because of weird dimension stuff he has to be super tight lipped about everything and can only give him vague hints.

near the end of the season, we also get a teaser for the main universes superboy, who gets to actually star in a potential 4th season

idk, these are just my thoughts that i wanna share. we dont have a lot to go off of as far as i know, but im so hyped for the next season its insane. if anyone wants to add PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go for it, id love to hear other thoughts and perspectives and discuss this with people!!

[cattocavo]

So I’ve been tagged in six sentence sunday!

I’ve never done these before and I’m not very active on here so i wouldnt know who to tag in response (although if any of you are fine with being tagged, please write to me! Id love to hear what everyone’s doing, and make some new friends!!

Since I last posted on tumblr I’ve finished all the inktober drawings I planned to draw. They’re all posted on my instagram, but I’m severely behind on posting here😅 tumblr is great but I cannot for the life of me shake off the awkwardness that comes with posting on another media that isn’t my preferred one. But if anyone who doesnt have instagram wants to see the rest just lmk and I’ll post them!

Other than inktober I haven’t really done anything.. i wanted to draw something for valentines, and got an idea a day before which is obviously WAY too little time to finish anything. And well, then valentines day passed and I no longer had a deadline.. so I didn’t finish it. I cannot for the life of me finish anything without a deadline. (Literally realized like 4 days ago that ive basically never finished a high-effort illustration without a deadline or someone relying on me😵‍💫 which kinda sucks ngl)

But since six sentence sundays are for wips, I guess I can show it to y’all what i drew for valentines!

So heres the concept (which is almost better than the finished result will be. I didn’t manage sultry Simon’s facial expression very well in the actual drawing😭 he just looks annoyed instead of ‘sexy’)

Aaannnd this is a wip of the actual drawing:

I really might end up redoing sultry Simon’s face, cuz it just isn’t working. I wanted the “expectation” side to like be the baz vision equivalent of some sexy male models slicked in oil and faces all squinty and lip-bitey. I didn’t want there to be a trace of an actual person, only the vision of “hot” so an annoyed simon with a bow will not do :/

Sidenote about simons shirt: eat the rich more like swallow the rich amirite?

I have this dumbass obsession with putting simon in ugly T shirts where theres printed the most ridiculous quotes on. I have a whole pinterest board on it. I tastefully called it “simons questionable taste in fashion”

(It’s all dumbass crop tops and tiny shirts with big chunky shoes. Idk I just love that on him)

But uhh I think that’s all for now! Thank you for tagging me @thewholelemon and @j-nipper-95 for tagging me a lot of previous times where i didn’t do anything bc i was shy😅

See you all next time!

Also idk if people put tags on SSS but I’m just gonna do that bc its what I’m used to

[cconfusedkat]

(shaking hands, functioning on three iced coffees, not beta read we just die) (LIL BRO TREATING THIS LIKE AO3Anyways yeah i did not read anything i typed here a second time so my wording might Suck Major Kuss)

Hey chat! sorry my holiday depression unfortunately kicked in, i had a ,, relatively decent Eid (cuz i dont celebrate christmas) ...? so i hope everyone had a relatively better holiday than i did… 💦

My friends often tell me i look like my art and i kinda see it. Hooray! Meeting the artist! Except i took matters into my own hands of making my own collage because I Do Not Have Enough Storage Space For Any Other Editing App

Additional shitpost ❤️ the art I've been most proud of are not actually in here, really! I'm mainly proud of the fanart i made for the few smiling critters AU's aaaall the way back feb-march but. I guess the stuff i liked the most i did this year was probably for the one who wilts? Im trying to think of stuff earlier than that. I noticed i definitely had an improvement in art, and i learned i do have a preference of drawing certain ways now too lmao- the fun of art! I hope to improve more in 2025 :-)

Herm,, all jokes aside, im glad people like my art...?? I am not a very Secure artist myself (already taking me five minutes to type that out and consider myself as an artist) so im SHOCKED when people Actually like my things. My doodles. The sometimes rare occasion of real art i put out there. Like! Wow! Thats crazy

Id have to say the same for youtube- im currently at 456 subscribers 🥺❤️ that is huge to me,, i wouldnt have expected me posting for the first time in years on youtube would result to me getting this many subscribers? ? .???

Im very, VERY thankful for the people ive met this year through fandom and generally. Unfortunately—for the past few months—Ive hit a really low stump in my mental health that limits me from talking to people without getting super drained, even on social media i kinda struggle with being active again. I am thankful for the people that continue to stick around and know im the way that i am,, one day ill be mentally stronger and everyone is gonna see my growth as soon as i can ,, Actually leave my own home and hopefully start a new. I didnt really consider that until one of my friends shared its experiences with me and i GENUINELY realized i can run away and get better one day,, there is a light at the end of the tunnel,, there IS,, but not now. Not today. Not in a few months. Itll take me years to heal but 2025 and ongoing years as i get more freedom to do so,,

UHHHH UHHH. ASIDE FROM CHEESY RANTING OF HAVING HOPES FOR THE FUTURE, YAPYAPYAP- i got a drawing tablet (again another thing my friend inspired me for- technically two major things in a row it inspired me for- hope in the future and drawing BWAHAHA-) and uhhh. HmMMOOHHH YEAH I REUNITED MY MEOWMEOWS! HOORA🎊🎊🎊🎊

my 2025 goals are not just improvement in art,, but in hopes of getting a full time job (since my last full time UMM. did NOT work out well! How am i gonna learn to pay my taxes on my own dawg,) and trying to get a place of my own since i missed out on that two years ago (or one? One year ago? I DUNNO..!!!!) , therapy and trying to heal better compared to my terrible stumps of 2022-2024,, i dunno what else but. Maybe working on my social skills at some point 🗿🗿 a far fetched goal is moving out of state completely and also going on testosterone but that is farrrr from now </33

Thank you lot for following and keeping up with my goofiness i gen did not think an animanga nerd with a passion of indie and mascot horror games could reach 510 followers within one year HELPPP thats crazy

On less serious goals though i hope on watching more animes than reading manga in 2025 BWAHAHAGAHSAJD i read manga more and anime is Extremely Rare for me to watch but both jjk and Beastars have all ive been watching as of recent lol- trust i will be such a geek (girl Please that is NAWT something to look forward to) (YES IT IS. HAVE YOU NO WHIMSY?)

[emerxshiu]

FORGOTTEN LAND'S SECOND ANNIVERSARY :3

I AM SOOOO BACK

I started this drawing yesterday around afternoon and finished it just a few minutes earlier.

I went with a messier type of drawing instead of more clean like the elfilin one from yesterday, i find it fun doing it like this, mostly cause i dont have to worry about making it perfectly so i dont get as frustrated as normal. Id place this one as my second best digital drawing. im pretty sure i havent posted what i consider my best digital drawing here, tho i do have it in instagram, i might post it here one day, tho these two are way too tied up, i love how this came out, its not exactly like how i imagined it but its really close to it, and also itd say that since i dont tend to play around lighting that much, this was such a joy to draw and i cant help but stare at it a lot, at least until i start hating it because i made quite a lot of errors. i also changed my elfilis gijinka just a tad bit from last time, but its not that big of a difference, mostly.

ofc i had to draw elfilis for forgotten land's anniversary, i tend to deny it in my head but yeah they're my fave of the kirby characters even tho i hate them a bit. I wanted to draw some more doodles, like, elfilis eating cake, kirby car, a bunch of other stuff (not elfilin cuz i already drew him yesterday) but when i tried i couldnt draw anything more, guess this drawing burned me out a lot, huh?

you can definitly tell i spent all the efforts on him cuz if you look a bit closer to the bottom part you'll see its almost barely detailed, but i mean, they're the focus so make sense i guess for me not add that much detail there. um also, maybe because i dunno i had OVER 130 LAYERS jeez no wonder firealpaca was slowing down so much, i need to manage my layers better next time, tho i did do something i keep forgetting, wich is naming them (most of them at least) that was a real life saver

Also, antares (fecto elfilis' spear/cadaceus), as always, was a pain to draw, but this time its probably been draw the most accurate out of every other drawing ive made with it in it, i didnt notice it was like, a little curved when it reached the blade

some close ups since his face is a bit hard to see

silly :3

fun fact! actually, this is technically a redraw, somewhere around between february and march i started a fecto elfilis drawing for the first anniversary, but i couldnt finish it in time, and i never finished it

thats...quite the improvement! (i remember being so proud of it)

also his wings are like that cuz i did not want to draw the pattern, its way too hard, i literally copy pasted it, wait, i was talking about the 2024 version but i looked at the 2023 one and i just noticed it also has the pattern copy pasted, i guess some stuff never changes since i still abuse the ctrl+c ctrl+v to this day

Also i ended up making a huge error there, i was planing to add the phantom spears from orbital pulsar (the attack he does first when you battle them at lab discovera) but theres an innacuracy, when they do the attack, they always close their eyes, i had actually sketched him (well i mean both these drawings are basically the first sketch (2023) or second sketch(2024) with some color, shadows and lighting. i didnt do lineart in the 2024 one cuz i wanted to be a bit like the og i made (too bad i sketched that one with black since the og was sketched with white due to me drawing the bg first)) with his eyes closed but them decided to make them open for a reason i cant remember, maybe i thought itd look nicer? idk

ive had the idea of redrawing this for quite some month now so it was kinda already planned

background cuz i think it came out really pretty

doesnt have the little stars since without elfilis and the structures it looks fucked up. the actual sky in game is more blue, but the clouds have some orange, in the 2023 ver. i made the sky orange, and in the 2024 ver i wanted it more accurate, but i didnt wanna loose the orange sky, so i did a gradient. pretty...

also here's a screenshot i took when i was like halfway trough it, its barely noticeable but i changed his mouth in the final drawing

I really love katfl, like a buncha whole lot, its basically almost my first mainline kirby game. 100% the demo, finished the game in almost one day, i literally play it monthly, like, every month i put the card in my switch, start it up, get morpho sword, and go shred elfilis in lab discovera. i would probably not even be here on tumblr and the kirby fandom if it werent for it. and i love it so much i genuinly cannot express how much i like it and treasure it with words or anything

Thank you for reading my unnecesarily long rambles lol

I hope i'll post tomorrow and dont forget like usual

Jambuhbye!

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

Quitting Weed Day 9 Status Report 📝

to start off , i'll say, i do indeed feel like Ass ! this post might get a tad emo. regretting my life choices to smoke for as long as i have 😕 But then again, maybe that's harsh, cus i was just doing the best i could with the circumstances i been dealt in the past.

i couldnt just quit cold turkey cus every time i try that its way too intense and i alwaus end up going back. So the past 9 days i've been hitting my (extremely weak) weed cart a couple times a night, only after 9pm, just to help me sleep. Before that i was smoking probly like. 5-8 bowls a day, followed by hitting the weed pen RELENTLESSLY all night until i passed out. So its still been a huge change lol. From tonight onwards tho i'm done w the weed pen and ready to try 0 thc 🙏

kind friend @palmceader sent me a CBD tincture made for sleep (thanku again 🥹) which im sure has a TINY percentage of thc, but nothing even close to how much im used to.

i cant even imagine how fried my dopamine receptors are, cus honestly, i feel Fucked. spaced out is an understatement. i cant focus on anything and its kinda driving me insane. it feels impossible to read or draw or do any of my hobbies.. my body feels heavy and depressed. No motivation. its kinda the opposite of what i was expecting. i can barely keep my eyes open during the day..

on a brighter note i havent been struggling too much with sleep or appetite. i think sleepy time tea + the tincture + magnesium is rly helping. my dreams recall is already improving so much, and the times i have nightmares arent as bad as its been previous times i tried to quit. i havent rly struggled with cravings at all either, which used to be a huge obstacle for me ! im just so over it now. i was starting to get chest pains and coughing a lot, which was taking any joy out of the act of smoking for me.

morbid to say but I often think of my father and how his rampant addictions directly lead him to such a painful and horrific early death. its a rare perspective of imagery so disturbing , i know i can't go on in such a manner. Like, what a fucking fool i would be! For others i can understand it but for me, no. it has haunted me for a long time to know i'm letting myself go down that path, even with all my insistent self-justification that his death is what brought me to this in the first place. deep down ive been knowing i need to break the cycle like i have the choice and the power, im still alive im still here ..

Sorry if thats depressing to bring up! i do feel depressed tho. i cant use weed to hide from my pain anymore.. i have to rewire my whole ass method of coping with stress at age 30. i know i can do it but its gonnnna be a long winded process full of ups n downs. Running away is no longer an option and thats a lot to face! a lot of old wounds i never rly dealt with, cus i kept my head in the 💨clouds💨 for so long.

i promise not to give up this time tho no matter how hard it gets 🙏 i want to set a good example too like indunno a lot of younger ppl follow me now i dont wanna feed into narratives that may influence them in bad directions. i have a responsible heart. i rly dont think weed is cool i havent since i was like 16. i was just dependent on it so i tried to romanticisze its role in my life. its silly.

im kinda laughing now cus im like god, i initially felt like the reason im quitting is so i can be more active in my dream world, but the more i think about it the more i notice MANY many more reasons to quit that go way deeper.

All in all the reason im talking about it is to maybe inspire other ppl who have been on the verge of quitting but too afraid to rly take the plunge-- Ur not alone, ur not weak for being addicted, if u need to reach out to me u are more than welcome.

Ppl rly downplay weed addiction cus the withdrawals arent life threatening like other substances, but that doesnt mean its a walk in the park. Most ppl i know who are stoners have never been able to quit for similar reasons as me. It takes a major psychological hold over u. if u ever need to vent about it or need advice, im here!

if u read all of this, pls dont worry abt me xD Even if it feels miserable rn i have faith things will improve, the heaviness and brainfog will lift, the emotions will be purged, i am excited for my future. One day at a time....Dont giving up 🙏

Signed, PMD9