#its very easy to turn me off of an artist or a piece because it has something in it i dont like

[threefeline]

.

[moonstruckme]

I cannot stop thinking about this looking at Sirius after he says something stupid and saying “you’re so pretty baby”

Hi haha not sure if this was what you meant but hope you enjoy <3

Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 662 words

It’s hardly more than a murmur, the barest whisper of speech rising above the soft nighttime symphony of crickets and frogs as you and Sirius lay in the grass looking up at the starry sky. 

“I think I could bench press the moon.” 

It takes a blink for you to process that, and even then you’re still not sure you’ve heard him right. “You what?” 

“I think I could lift the moon,” Sirius says in the same contemplative, tranquil voice. “Like, if I had to. With the way gravity is up there, it can’t be that hard, right?” 

A smile starts to form on your lips, and you turn your head to look at your boyfriend. “Oh, so you mean that if you went up into space and got below the moon, you think you’d be able to lift it?”

Sirius seems to think for a moment. Then he nods, still facing the sky. “I mean that if we were to somehow get a bench up there below the moon, I think I could bench press it. I’m not saying it’d be easy, but I could do it.” 

“You know there are, like, meteors that crash into the moon and don’t move it, right?” It’s impossible to keep the laughter out of your voice at this point, and Sirius looks over with a frown. “You think you’re stronger than a meteor?” 

“Maybe the meteors just haven’t tried the right angle.” 

You sigh dreamily, lifting a hand to brush your knuckles delicately across the fine plane of his cheekbone. “Sirius, baby,” you say, running a silken strand of hair between your fingers, “you’re so pretty. So, so pretty.” 

Dark eyebrows rise, and Sirius’ lips curl into an odd half-smile. “I know I am. Are you calling me dumb?” 

“No, not dumb.” You pull your lips to one side, toying with his hair while you think. “Just…not always the sharpest crayon in the box.” 

He laughs darkly. A giddy static goes through you, and it takes some effort to keep up your placid facade as you curl a piece of hair around your finger. 

“So you’re the brains of this operation, huh?” he asks you slowly. 

You hum. “If you say so.” 

“And you don’t think I could bench press the moon. I’m dumb and weak, is that it?” 

“Sirius,” you laugh. “I don’t think anyone could bench press the moon. It has its own gravity, and I’m not totally sure how that works but I’m pretty sure it means you can’t just toss it around like a beach ball.” 

“You think I’m not strong.”

“I didn’t say that.” 

“No,” he allows, calm settling over his features in the split second before he strikes, grabbing one of your hands in his and then the other as he rolls on top of you. “You just think my looks are all I’m good for. Did I get that right, sweetheart?” 

You laugh, trying to use your legs to push him off, but Sirius pins down your thighs with his knees. “I’m just saying,” you giggle, “it’s a good thing you’re pretty. Can’t you just accept the compliment?” 

“Oh, so that’s all I am to you.” His voice is scornful, but a playful mirth gleams in his eyes. “Just a hot piece of ass for you to strut about, huh?” 

“Maybe,” you bait, giggles worsening when he nips cruelly at the skin below your ear. “You’re like my trophy boyfriend.” 

Sirius squints down at you, and he really is lovely, all dark hair and brows that contrast against his pale skin. He looks like someone’s charcoal drawing come to life. The work of a very skilled artist, certainly.

He grins. “Fine,” he says, voice all smoothed out by certainty. “You can be the brains, honey, and I’ll just sit pretty. But that means it’s your job to figure out how to get me and a bench to the moon, because I’m gonna prove your smart ass wrong.”

[punkitt-is-here]

How can I cultivate the same, "just keeping making stuff all the time" kind of energy you have? It's very impressive and something I wish I could do!

well, theres a couple reasons i think! one is that i just found ways to be satisfied with small amounts of work. its in part because of my ADHD, but my parents were always trying new things (motorcycles, leatherwork, acrylic paint, collage art, photography, video editing) so that definitely rubbed off on me; i had a great example of people just wanting to try stuff. i keep making stuff all the time because i love trying out new things; you don't have to be an expert to try something new! you just have to have a desire for it! wanna make a zine? google it! wanna write a comic? give it a shot! wanna get into woodworking? buy a carving knife and find a stick or something! i think theres plenty of ways to find entry points into interesting stuff and you gotta let yourself be okay with making shit that sucks just because its fun. which leads me to my second point!!

im okay with being dogshit at stuff! i try new things, i kind of suck at them, and i think it's either 1. cool that i made it this far or 2. kinda funny that this is what its like at the moment. i know that sucking is never permanent, everything can be improved with time, and rarely does anyone ever magically get good at something first try. i think of myself as a talented artist, but its over the course of 2+ decades of drawing; im always improving, and no matter what im going to find things i want to get better at, so why fault myself now for not being perfect? a couple of months ago i really wanted to try woodcarving, so i made spoon with my dad. did it turn out great? not really! you cant even use it as a spoon! but im glad i tried it, it was fun, i had a great time with my dad, and now i know a little bit more going in next time. the idea that you have to be perfect or make tangible progress every single time you try something new is a recipe for burnout. i promise you, it doesnt matter if something doesn't come out like God's Gift to Humanity! Did you have fun? did you learn something? are you satisfied in some small part? good!

(pictured: tha spoon)

last, im just really easy to please myself! I'll make a doodle or implement an idle animation in my game or color a piece and go "wow! thats so cool i did that :)" and it really is just a matter of realizing that its fucking COOL to create stuff, no matter how small! whatever you made didn't exist before you, especially in your own unique way, and now it does! doesn't that rule?! i'm obsessed with it! even if its just a stick figure, its a stick figure you made, and it wasn't there before. thats fucking awesome!!! art is so cool!!!! i think that being happy with small goals and victories is a great way of trying out new things and showing off cool stuff u made, no matter what skill level. :) this turned into a whole big thing, but i hope this helps! tl;dr is try things if they seem fun, be okay with not being good at them, and find stuff about it that makes you happy or satisfied!

[aqua-the-smiter]

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦୨୧✦•······················•✦•······················•✦ ℑ𝔯𝔬𝔫 ℌ𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔰 Ferrus Manus x female oc (Argena Seeva) Other parts in the reblogs Ferrus, in a bid to one up his pain-in-the-ass brother Fulgrim, takes up drawing. Gets some reference help from his long suffering friend and senechal, Argena. Part of my AU I have cleverly called the Primarch Wife AU. Happy endings, the boys get the help they need, Big E is a good dad and, most importantly, everybody gets a wife. Because big husband and small wife makes brain go brr

Sexual content/NSFW after the cut - Very lewd-but-not-lewd touching, Ferrus jacking off to his future wife while trying to get work done, idiots in love. @thevoidscreams @pringles-plaguehaus ✦•······················•✦•······················•✦୨୧✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊ “Gena?” Ferrus asked, sounding uncharacteristically nervous. “I have a…strange favor to ask of you.” Argena put down the loop of silver she’d been polishing and turned around on her stool to face him as she heard him out. Throne, he even looked uncomfortable, and she wondered what exactly he needed that he was looking so hot under the collar. Ferrus Manus was many things, but wavering was not one of them. Actually he was kind of cute like that. She mentally slapped herself almost as soon as the thought crossed her mind. HE. IS. YOUR. BOSS. She’d been with him for over a year and half at this point. It felt like it should have been longer. Falling into the role of his senechal had been so easy after a while. Especially after they’d started spending more time simply enjoying each other’s company. He was a surprisingly layered man once he opened up enough to show it. And, she heavily suspected, a lonely one too. So they’d gotten close more easily than she would have first thought. It even showed in the way he addressed her. Gena, a more tender nickname than her given. “Does it have anything to do with your ongoing attempts to one up your brother?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “It does, yes. Look, I can’t help it. Fulgrim has been driving me mad recently, so I want to pay him back in kind.” “I know, I know. And if you pull it off you’ll make him absolutely seethe.” “It” in question was Ferrus putting a serious effort into learning how to draw. He could already, but it was an entirely different kind. Technical drawings, machine blueprints, weapon schematics. Nothing really artistic, although it could be counted as a form of art in its own right if you asked her. Watching him work was hypnotic, the movement of the pencil or stylus in his metal hands impossibly graceful. Elegant even. But most people didn’t see it that way. Resident artsy fuck, Fulgrim, certainly didn’t. Constantly making little jabs and jokes at his best friend’s inability to produce anything else than purely practical drawings. Finally, Ferrus had enough and announced to her in private that he was going to produce a piece of actual art better than anything Fulgrim could do (and he wasn’t as good as everyone thought he was, including himself) out of pure brotherly spite. The early results were rough, but promising. Argena herself had quite a bit of skill, picked up from her goldsmithing hobby, and he’d come to her with practice sketches, rudimentary shapes and simple three dimensional objects. It took him a while, but he was definitely getting it. His talent for technical drawings was beginning to shine through with the clean linework. In short, it seemed he might actually do it. “That is the goal.” He said, just a little smug. “So what do you need me for, pray tell my lord?” She prompted. The Primarch seemed to steel himself for a moment. “Well…I feel I’m ready to move on to…organic materials now. I can only draw my own tools so much before I cease to learn any more from the exercise. I was going to ask if I could study you. Your anatomy, I mean.” And it already sounded like that would involve less clothes than she started with that day. “...Study my anatomy? How so? Moreover, why?”

“Feel up your body. Your muscles, skeletal structure, general build. How everything connects and moves together. I find that I learn best when I am up to the elbows in it so to speak, so being able to touch it would be the best thing. You are the only person I feel comfortable coming to with this. It is, ultimately, quite a petty thing I’m after. You have been very understanding of me. More than I thought would be possible.” Ferrus paused for a moment, wondering if what he had to say next was even a good idea before deciding he’d take that chance. “Also, you are objectively a very beautiful woman. Whatever someone’s personal tastes may be, nobody could look at you and deny it. And subjectively, I think you are a beautiful woman. For those reasons you’d make the best subject for what I’m trying to accomplish. If the goal of art is to create something pleasing to the eye, something that captures the beauty of the world and the enthusiasm of the creator in a still image, you would be a perfect basis. Not like the mess of colors and lines Fulgrim throws on his canvases.” He spoke so frankly. Ferrus was always a very no-nonsense type of person, but to have that direct, blunt nature used in such a glowing description of her was something else entirely. Because you knew for a fact when he said something, he meant it. It made her feel very warm inside. “And this is purely for research, right?” She asked tentatively. “Purely objective.” He swore. “And I won’t go any farther than you want or touch you anywhere you don’t want to be touched. I’ll fill in any gaps in my knowledge with an anatomy book. Just tell me where to stop, and I will.” Somehow a Primarch who’d grown up in the wilderness eating sand had a better concept of boundaries than many people. “Well...I trust you, so I suppose it wouldn’t hurt.” She said after a moment, rubbing her upper arm. “I’m willing. Let’s do it.” He gave her one of his rare smiles (that seemed to be becoming less rare nowadays come to think of it), genuinely grateful. It made her feel more at ease with the agreement. Who knows, it might even be fun. ₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊

[chessamade]

Seven of Pentacles

This piece is all the way back from July 2020. This card depicts the Iroquois legend of The Lazy Boys Who Became the Pleiades, a constellation that bears great importance in many cultures around the world. In particular I am using the version passed down by Jesse Cornplanter of the Senecan people, the variation differing only in that the last boy who glances back down to Earth falls, becoming the first pine.

The Seven of Pentacles is a card about harvesting the long term projects and goals you've set into motion. I chose the Iroquois legend because it's a story I grew up with, and which stuck to me because of its haunting imagery. The boys spend all their time dancing instead of assisting the elders in the hunt, so when they come in for food, they are denied, as a means of teaching them a lesson. Rather than move them to change their ways, this merely motivates them to dance more. Eventually they become so light-headed with hunger that their feet begin to lift from the ground, their bodies becoming so light. To the rest of the tribe's horror, the seven boys drift off into the skies. One boy, upon hearing a woman of the village call after him, turns back and falls to the Earth, becoming the first pine.

What is the lesson to be learned, here? I like to think it's a lesson that everyone in the community has a different purpose, and that not everyone is made to hunt. Some are artists and engage in dance, yet they are just as valuable as those who physically place food upon the table, and should be allowed to eat. Otherwise you lose a very essential part of your society. Then again, being an artist, I am incredibly biased towards this way of thinking.

I chose sketches of Smoke Dancing, as it is a competitive dance meant to impress with flair. It is a modern dance, really only made popular in the 1990s, though its origin is hard to place. Likewise the events of this legend take place "a long time ago," and cannot be exactly placed either. Mixing in this modern dance is a way of making the tale timeless, as again I chose the dance for its joy of the dance itself and its performative competition, as I imagine the boys caught up in their dances that worldly needs such as hunger are easy to ignore.

Insofar as how this legend fits in the card's meaning, the harvest of the village in abandoning the boys is to lose them, and the harvest of the boys' dancing is to do so eternally in the skies.

I suppose in general I wish society placed a greater value on art, and that is why this tale has stuck with me. Art, in many ways, offers immortality and a guiding light.

This is one of my charity pieces in my shop where 100% of the proceeds goes to a specific charity. This one goes to AISES (American Indian Science and Engineering Society) which is a program my friend used to get into NASA. Being that this card is both Native and celestial, AISES seemed like an appropriate choice.

You can purchase a print here.

[animebw]

Thinking back on it, I'm realizing there aren't many straightforward idol anime I actually like. Like, Zombieland Saga is lots of fun, but the idol stuff is consistently the weakest part of it and I always feel myself tuning out whenever that's the focus. I guess I liked Heroines Run the Show before it went to shit in the back half? Does Ya Boi Kongming count? Symphogear, technically? Maybe Hanayamata? I dunno, I feel like all those shows have asterisks that keep them from being straightforward idol-y enough to qualify. Meanwhile, by far the most traditional idol show I've watched so far has been Shine Post, and hoooooooo boy did I end up hating that one.

I think the problem is, as I grow increasingly cynical and jaded in my old, withered age of 25 years old, the overwhelming positivity that defines the idol genre starts to feel forced and cloying. It's easy enough for "believe in yourself and try your best" to work as an overall theme if you're sincere enough to pull it off. But the second that theme becomes an obligation or an afterthought, it can very quickly turn a show into the most suffocating, shrink-wrapped piece of sanitized goop imaginable. It becomes a way for a story to avoid being about anything, spouting generic platitudes and cynically designed cuteness with all its edges sanded down and dull. When I look at the weaker idol anime I've watched, I don't see stories that come by their earnestness, well, earnestly. I see coldly calculated, market-tested corporate branding exercises that say nothing, express nothing, and don't dare step a single toe out of line. A plastic smile plastered across an empty styrofoam mannequin, babying its audience with lazy, simplified moralizing because it doesn't think they're capable of anything more complex than Teletubbies, and god forbid we lose a single audience member trying to actually make an artistic statement.

But that's the thing about Juuki Hanada as a writer.

When this man wants to get messy?

He gets fucking messy.

So much of what makes Hanada's writing so powerful, in comedy and drama alike, is how well he's able to let the reins go of his characters and let them crash into each other. Snappy one-liners and comebacks battling for dominance, chaotic personalities setting off fireworks of all kinds through their interactions, but also raw, ugly emotional confrontations that don't sugarcoat anything out of fear his audience isn't mature enough to handle it. Not all of his stuff is a masterpiece- I could spend hours talking about how badly Kyoukai no Kanata's plot falls apart in the second half, Steins;Gate gets more and more exhausting the more I think about it- but even his weakest works carry the unmistakable passion of a writer holding nothing back. And when he's firing on all cylinders? You might just end up with the single greatest coming-of-age tale this medium has ever produced.

And it turns out, that sensibility is exactly what a show like Love Live needs to succeed. Because even the most optimistic, inspirational story imaginable needs that edge to temper itself against. The sheer chaos of its lovable cast bouncing off each other isn't just what makes the comedy work so well, it's what lets these dramatic moments sting the way they need to. Because it's only in recognizing these harsher moments- failure, frustration, despair- that its triumphs are able to be so meaningful. I care about Muse because I've seen what it looks like when they fall short, and I care about Honoka because this show lets me see her at her lowest, at her most human and vulnerable. These characters aren't just plastic simulations of cute girls selling a fantasy; they feel like a real friend group, messy and anarchic and free. Free to express themselves with the full palette of the human experience, even the parts most of us would rather pretend didn't exist. And it makes their successes matter in a way they wouldn't if we didn't have that grounding in the unbearable chaos of being.

Love Live is not a deconstruction, or a subversion, or a dark parody or anything so gauche. It's nothing more of less than a straightforward, inspirational idol show. But it's a straightforward, inspirational idol show that knows it doesn't have to sacrifice its raw humanity to shine with the brightest stars in the sky. And that, folks, makes all the difference in the world.

[baby-yaga]

i totally get why art that seems "shock for shock-sake" is a turn off for some people. it honestly wasnt until earlier this year, after i remembered some really fucked up shit that happened to me, that i realized why i am so drawn to that kind of thing.

making a work that is shocking to be shocking isnt easy--decent writing, composition, themes, those all still apply. and then, theres the added challenge of writing about topics that are ~controversial~

i think the immediate thing that comes to mind is rape revenge, one of my favorite horror subgenres. one of my favorite rape revenge movies is i spit on your grave, the 2010 remake of the 1978 film. the original is, by todays standards, much more tame. the attack is far less brutal, the murders are less graphic, even the scenery [ connecticut in spring, as opposed to the remakes setting of louisiana in fall ] is much more green and vibrant, and more pleasant to look at in my opinion. i think both of these films have a reputation for being shlock--exploitative, misogynistic, torture-porn. and i dont even think they arent those things [ and the victim being a rich white woman, her attackers impoverished white men. these films are very classist in my opinion ].

rape revenge is a very controversial genre, made even more so by the fact that many of the most well known films are written and directed by men [ i spit on your grave, the original and its remake, same of the last house of the left and its remake, in fact female writers and directors are relatively new to this subgenre ]

if id been asked earlier this year, "what is it about this genre that you find so compelling?" i wouldve struggled to answer. i think the best i couldve come up with is something like, "catharsis." and i do find these films cathartic. they are tense and brutal, and at the end, when the bad guys have died their grotesque deaths, unable to harm anyone anymore, i breathe a sigh of relief. but the truth is, i like that they make people uncomfortable.

to me, these pieces of work existing, even though i havent made any of these works myself, are my own revenge. i want people to watch them, and i do get offended when someone finds them morally wrong. in the evilest parts of my soul i want to force people to watch these devastating, "pointless", "shocking-for-shocks-sake" films and feel even a fraction of what i do. for even a moment, feel as helpless, trapped, terrified, hurt, disoriented, enraged, and humiliated as i do. yes, i want people to be shocked. i want them to be shocked because i want them to feel it. i want their hearts and minds, souls and bodies to be as tainted as mine, even if its just a little bit. i want people to be as traumatized as i am.

i understand this isnt rational. for one thing, i am far from the only rape victim in the world. im not even the only childhood rape victim in the world. im not even the only victim of csam/sex trafficking victim in the world. im not the only person whos family had a "weird uncle", that everyone, even his victims, refused to acknowledge what he was. im not the only victim of sexual harassment and stalking. im just one of perhaps millions, a victim of all of those things. there are perhaps thousands of people with a history nearly identical to mine. but i dont care. i want them to hurt too.

art is supposed to make you feel something. its often said that art is a conversation between you and the artist. how do you feel when the artist wants to abuse you? how do you feel when the artist, knowing nothing of your own history, shows you the ugliest, most rancid, most infected parts of themselves, and they ask you to look?

look at me. look at what i am missing. look at how i am mangled. look at how i am ugly. i am not a palatable victim. i wasnt saved from abuse. the fbi never broke in while i was being photographed or molested and saved me from my fate. the worst happened. and it happened again, and again, and again and no one noticed, and no one saved me. i didnt even save myself. i didnt move away from it all, abandon everyone id ever known, and change my identity like i desperately wanted when i was a teenager. im broke, and i still live within a 1 mile radius of where all the worst things in my life happened to me. i live just 2 blocks away from where i was trafficked and used to make csam. i live just 2 houses down from where i was groomed and repeatedly raped by my best friends dad. im not there anymore, in the sense that years have passed, and i am an adult now. but i still live here, still see his house every day, still see the tree in front of the house where i was nearly drowned to keep me quiet and afraid.

yeah, i want the art i make to shock you. i dont think i have anything else to say.

[kihakugato-art]

The Harriet Pinup Art Project

Session 1- 3Dification & Sketchification

I initially got a little stressed when using the 3D posing in CSP so to give myself a breather I did some traditional art sketches of Harriet! I played around with a few expressions as well as experimented with her having a ponytail (another hat tip towards Mordred Fate, plus I think Harriet just looks good in a ponytail!) which I think I’ll have for her for the planned bigger art piece.

But to answer question from session 0- “how well can I mess with the 3D model to the pose(s) I need”? Doable, but a lil rough; It’s very easy to misclick during the process and mess things up.

[WEEEEEE- those are some broken-ass limbs there!]

It’s also a bit of a learning curve to try to remember which controls affect the 3D model in certain ways. Not to mention controlling/posing the limbs to how you wish can be quite fickle depending on the limb;

Say you want to turn the leg calf horizontally cause its turned a lil weird, it will only let you move it up-down from the calf direction controls, so you’ll need to control the thigh as well as the foot/ankle, which can be a bit unintuitive.

The fact you can save poses (both for fullbody and just hands) was quite handy though to ensure I could reuse or fall back onto a pose or reuse a pose if I needed to.

In the end I tried two different sitting variants; one with one of the legs up, and another where both legs are hanging down. While the latter could give a powerful image if used by a clever enough artist, I couldn’t really nail it, so in the end I chose the former.

["It looks identical"- it's because the changes are pretty subtle without overlaying the two versions over each other. There's a difference between them I assure you!]

Not sure if the Manga toggle is quite the best choice for this piece either since the change isn’t hugely dramatic for this specific piece (it’d probably be better for a piece that’s more action-packed), but I chose it anyways. Now let’s get to sketching!

Not Bad, but it felt off. Some of it is because at the end of the day I did just trace/follow over the 3D image which feels a little unsettling for me in this context- but I gotta remember I posed/positioned the 3D model myself It's not from default poses available in the CSP library. I may redraw over the sketch later without the 3D model to try to maybe try to break any stiffness that may have bled through from tracing which could contribute tot he oddness. Even with that though, something still felt off.

“Where do the wings connect to the back?” was the question one friend gave to me once I showed this WIP with my concerns. She was right; the wings were placed too high, they look like they are directly to the shoulders, which just feels *wrong*.

A little fiddling and the wings were shifted so that they are implied be connecting *below* the shoulder blades. Much better. Now to the setting/background!

[Image source 1, Image source 2]

Among my background inspo folder the retaining coastal wall seemed the most doable. Not to mention my brain was craving it a little bit from back when I got to visit near one of the Great Lakes this year.

Not bad! If I kept the background relatively simple/plain and did contrast between Harriet and the wall it could look pretty good. However- as my one friend pointed out- the pitch for this project I more or less said/implied she’d be on her ship. Which I unfortunately I have to agree.

I’m not super keen on figuring out the deck layout for Harriet’s ship though, since I’m far from done designing her ship. It’d also be different if I had a 3D asset of a schooner ship, but with the work it took to get the posed 3D model in place as well as the fact I’d likely have to pay for such a 3D asset, that route ain’t happening, that ship has sailed (lol punny).

Maybe we can avoid those details by having her sit high up on one of the masts? People go up on masts right??? Alright then- Time to update the inspo/reference folder for backgrounds/settings!

[Image source 1, image source 2- uhhh hoping the licenses for some of these ref images doesn't apply here for the first image or I'm gonna have to remove these images from here- which fair enough, my bad to only realize this now]

The first ref I depended on for a little bit- but then for whatever reason my brain began to REALLY struggle. The beams were easy to set up with the ref but nothing else. I think the image ref just had too much going on in such ways that I couldn’t make a “shape” out of it in my brain, I can’t even tell what some of the parts are on the mast! So after a lotta artist malding I decided to grab the second ref to make things simpler and more clear to visually understand.

[There were far more breaks when drawing this background/setting than I'd like to admit]

And boom! Although I like the retaining wall version, I think the mast is definitely the way to go for the final piece. Some of the rope placement was vaguely bullshitted but it’ll suffice. The cooked fish on a skewer in Harriet’s hand kind of blends in a bit through the background mess though, so I’ll probably resize the fish to be MUCH bigger to make it pop out a little better.

From here I’ll be turning the sketch lines all into one colour (I did different colours to help my brain keep track of the different components in the setting), and we’ll see where I go from there!

[Session 0]

[andmaybegayer]

Last Monday of the Week 2024-11-18

Uh oh watched movies

Listening: More Soma.fm, although I have now been getting really into Seven Inch Soul, a station of 7-inch soul record rips.

I like Soul music. It has a lot of jazz and proto-rock elements I find really interesting. The crackly records do the thing I think records do well which is remind you of a degree of physicality in your music. Vinyl is a difficult medium to work with and, understandably, a bunch of these studios and record labels had kinda shitty recording engineers who clipped their songs to hell and cheaped out on vinyl. Years later, they're covered in dust and scratches.

It reminds you that someone had to record this all on multitrack tape, mix it by hand, and then get it into a gold master and order a pressing. This workflow sucks ass, and they did it anyway!

Reading: Mostly work docs still, but I am getting back into The Book of All Skies, which does the great Greg Egan thing of demanding that you understand the puzzle in order to make sense of the story being told. It's happy to explain itself but if you're not getting it the solution is to go back and read the explanation given to you, because everything is there but it's written from the perspective of the story characters, and it's very careful about not breaking this wall.

Scale does this really well because it explains a complex fantasy quantum physics via a world that only relatively recently did the Crookes Tube. The puzzle at the heart of The Book of All Skies is further outside my wheelhouse so I have been turning the nub around in my head a lot.

Watching: Hoo boy. Lots here.

John Wick because it's been ten(!) years since that came out and there was an anniversary showing. John Wick is remarkably wordy once you've seen the sequels. It has to explain John Wick to you! You no longer have to explain John Wick to people.

It also has him move much, much slower. New Wick is a lot faster, and a lot more heavily outgunned. He takes longer to aim, he's further away, he's more cautious. It's very interesting to go back and see all this.

I Saw The TV Glow again because we did a double feature where we had each seen one movie but not the other. ISTTVG is interesting because it's a movie about being transgender that I think is very... broadly applicable? You could miss the gender stuff! It's very easy to read this is being about a sort of general malaise that can envelop you and make years tick by in seconds while days drag on, whether that's Having The Gender or just being stuck in a shitty dead-end job with poor future prospects and economic security.

ISTTVG successfully lands quite a few very specific Transgender Deep Cuts, but is kind of in an awkward place because it cannot talk about gender too much without rupturing the thin membrane around the plot. It has to remain all wrapped up. It relies very heavily on you not knowing what comes next to work its magic, on a second watch it's much less impactful beyond its ability to recall in you that first experience.

The People's Joker is a movie about being transgender, that is a lot more straightforwardly earnest about the experience. If you are transgender you will point at the screen and go "hey I did that", such as "hey that's also what it's like to meet the first other trans person you've ever encountered" and "yo my psychiatric institution also tormented me endlessly". It's also astoundingly funny, it does not miss a chance to put in a gag.

You should watch The People's Joker. It is a very personal piece of art and it does a thing I love which is accommodating to the scale of a small art project. So many art projects wither and die because a creator bites off way more than they can chew and then refuse to compromise. This movie was so clearly made for seven dollars and a lot of favours. The soundtrack is a bunch of commissions from artists with seven monthly listeners. The backgrounds are hastily thrown together blender renders. I adore everything about it.

It occurs to me that having never seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Saturday Night Live, or a single piece of Batman media, when I do finally watch batman I'm going to be all "yo it's Bruce Wayne, like from The People's Joker!"

Also finally Arcane S2, as much as has come out. It feels like there's an episode missing between E5 and E6, not sure if we'll get to see some of that. Otherwise it does remain really astoundingly slick. The Jinx/Rictus fight is so fun to watch.

Making: working on some basic quilted stuff, I forget how awkward quilting is. I'm always like this can't possibly be right. There's no good way to hold anything!

Playing: The new Forza 5 rewards have me vaguely interested. They're now handing out coupons you can trade in at a rare car store, which is nice, gives you some flexibility. Managed to rope me in to doing the past couple weeks worth of missions.

Tools and Equipment: Standing up my little lab at work has been fucking with me so bad I do not know what is up this is not the first time I've done something like this. I am having dreams about running QSFP basically every night. I think I was sleeptalking to my partner about ethernet lanes the other night. It's not good. Label your runs, keep it neat, use mnemonic tools, document everything, and try to get everything set up for remote management as fast as you can.

[d1gnan]

some thoughts abt aesthetics, the way people engage with my art so far and also stuff youll be seeing from me in the next year..

first off i wanna say im not actually educated on any of this and its all just coming from personal experience/ its kind of just a mad mans rambling

im the kind of person who is always curating, always putting like with like (on a consistently changing/personal/almost random metric that spans like any kind of media , things tangible and abstract, my memories, yadda yadda (everyone does this to some degree but as an artist and an introspective person, i find it hard to just let stuff go once i form a connection. (and im sure a lot of u guys reading this are like this too, tumblr is like The website for people like this) im hyper aware of everything that ever happens to me and im always trying to connect everything with everything else

(forgive me too in advance cause ive never been satisfied with my ability to explain myself and usually i just let everything i do speak for itself/dont bother trying. im really really visual and i usually think of things In pictures too so it just frustrates me to try and describe something thats worth a thousand words..

jewelry came pretty quickly to me as a favorite art form because its a way to convey some of what goes on in my head when i engage with the media i like , being able to turn all these pretty abstract feelings into colors shapes symbols.. a lot of times when i listen to something or watch something, i get almost itchy with the feeling of needing to get the way i percieved it out into the world in a visual and tangible way asap before it loses its original shape or before i forget how it made me feel. (dementia runs in my family so a lot of my art is trying to archive my feelings since i know i wont have them forever.. its almost a frantic need to be seen/known by others before its too late.

a lot of the jewelry ive custom made for people has been specifically music and film related, and thats been a great thing because i can both 1) make something that satisfies my own vision of the thing but 2) it is still easily readable by others as related 2 the source material because the design language usually is distinct enough to withstand being skewed too much by my own personal associations

moving forward tho, i have a TON of ideas for way more personal/abstract/highly conceptual projects, and have been slowly gathering pieces so that i can do full justice to my vision for them.

doing this has first and foremost always been an art form/way to express myself . i do it because of the ideas, i do it because i have to do it, and then im left with a bunch of stuff that i would like way more to be in the hands of someone who relates to it. and, i do it in a way thats not at all good for being a business owner. if i'm going to create a product, i would be going against my ideals if i didnt try to battle with all the things i hate about products. fast fashion and aliexpress craft supplies and mass production.. (to have a successful business you need a lot of the same product, it needs to be easy to make and you need to be able to get your materials cheap. all of which i can't and wouldn't do, so it's a very shit thing to attempt to make a living off of..

maybe this sounds a little funny too when you look at my work and then at what i have to say about it.that i think about it so seriously since it's something any one can do. my kid sister makes jewelry, it's a pretty accesible hobby. the idea of making jewelry based off of media is also the furthest thing from unique, which brings me thinking about the reception of my art online so far, and some weird stuff i've noticed.

when you're making anything that you mention is directly "inspired by" something else, you run into some pretty weird habits from others online, and a kind of unique way of engaging with "aesthetics" thats started in the past couple years. what im talking about now is less movies/music. its stuff that blurs the line between an existing body of work to reference and just a concept. ( y2k, fill in the blank-core, frutiger metro/aero).. i'm really into most eras of these fashion / design trends/aesthetics in a historian/archivist kind of way, and i really enjoy to do work inspired by things like this, but these are always way more personally influenced than anything made for a movie/music. i went semi-viral (feels so dumb to say seriously lol) on tiktok for a frutiger metro/sleepyhead by passion pit inspired bracelet.

i get hate on most posts on tiktok since its a gigantic platform(as well as praise) but the majority of comments always tend to be people correcting the authenticity to the aesthetic ive listed as an inspiration. people way smarter than me have way better things to say on this, and if i tried to go too into detail with it this post would be even crazy longer, but ive seen people call it "what aesthetic is this" culture, (some examples of this: " "this aesthetic is called this, not that" "this aesthetic is from this time frame only" xyz

i never know what to do, because i want to respond by explaining that i see these aesthetic names/labeling system solely as a tool. to help people find and connect like with like. labeling aesthetics is just recognizing a pattern. knowing the "name" of an aesthetic can help you find similar things, but there are no set time periods to any of this unless you are specifically making something that is an exact recreation of something else or making a period piece. everything comes back in some way over and over again. rigidly defining aesthetics is flawed/missing the point because aesthetics are completely individual/unmeasurable/skewed by experiences/memories/opinions. its a little different too when it comes to stuff thats actually like made For marketing cause that Will have an exact language that goes with it or whatever, but most of the time i see people arguing about an aesthetic thats not even applicable. there are genuinely no rules to what fits an aesthetic because anything you create, you add your own experiences to and are effectively continuing these patterns in a new way/ sometimes creating a whole new movement or sub category if you are really into labeling it as something directly. peoples personal art is definitely affected by their time/whatever the common design language was at the time, so thats where a lot of the names get born, but when you make it this rigid thing , "this needs to be more like this.. this needs to be more like that.." you'd be right- but only in the sense that yes, it IS that way, For You. in your mind you experience it that way, it is your personal relation to seeing these patterns. and you can use these aesthetic tools to expand on what was done before you, you can use these images to convey your own perspective so that i can try to understand it.

marketing vs personal aesthetics is a different thing that idk how to tackle with my like super limited language but for example, when someone is using a popular aesthetic to sell you something, you can tell. it's shallow and impersonal. looking back on ads that are dated and use a certain aesthetic usually tinges them with nostalgia that you can take and make into something that it wasn't because you have this priceless new angle to look at it with. if you believe in aesthetics as being this rigid thing, you dont get new ideas, you dont get new sub aesthetics, you dont get new movements, you get a copy of a copy, you get shein clothes. and! anyone can call anything they want an "aesthetic" ..any collection of things together influenced by anything in the world can be an entirely new aesthetic.. and im so sick of typing the word aesthetic

but i know that if theyre commenting something like this, they r so fundamentally different from me/ engage with the world in such a different way then i do that it would be a waste of time to try to explain..

i am a little scared when i launch some of the new projects i've been working on they'll be met with this kind of reaction. maybe ill try to write some kind of TLDR, some kind of zine to send along with any of my bracelets, some kind of manifesto about sustainability/personalization/mindful consumpution.. but it takes a long time for me to feel good about explaining myself, even this post ive deleted and restarted countless times.

ill post some more about some of the "aesthetics " (i gotta figure out better language for this shit i swear to god) ive found inspiring that have heavily influenced these upcoming projects, as well as scans from books ive collected that match the design language and i definitely want to release kind of a companion zine with the collections that include music/fashion/home photos etc...

if u have any thoughts or anything about any of this id love to hear it, or answer questions or expand on shit, this is kind of just like a word version of me throwing mac and cheese up at the ceiling and seeing if anything sticks.

thanks to anyone whos said anything nice about my stuff, i love u guys more than lyfe

and if you read all of this youre a g

💚

[always-coffee]

The Kind That Might Drown a Man

I have a piece of art that I love. It’s a siren, clearing drowning a man. It was painted by an artist who I considered a friend, who I spoke to nearly every day for three years. He used a rather artsy photo I had taken as a reference photo, with permission. (If we are mutuals, you may ask to see it.)

I was elated when he wanted to use my photo, to make art out of a piece of art (photos are art) I was proud of. I said yes, immediately. He was going to do a series of mythological characters, and I'd be the perfect siren.

When he showed me a photo of the finished piece and also when he posted it, I was happy. Then, he sent the original painting to me as a gift. I was over the moon. It felt cool. I felt cool. Seen, valued. It did something to combat an old wound of mine.

In the past, artists—people who I thought were friends, but who were only ever actually interested in getting into my pants (nooooope)—had asked to paint me. Reference photos were even sent. But the interest quickly fizzled when they realized that what was on offer was only friendship. It wasn't good enough, so those connections faded like sun-seared fog. No one is required to make art of someone, but when something flattering turns out to be wildly disappointing it is, at best, weird. At worst, it’s dehumanizing.

But back to the point: my friend made gorgeous art out of a photo I dearly loved of myself. It felt good, and I felt special. Fast-forward to years later, and I have severed that friendship. It turns out that, despite all the conversation and all the camaraderie and even the co-working we did together, he was a liar.

There were things he casually and purposefully lied about for no discernible reason. And when I discovered the truth, it gutted me. It felt worse than a romantic breakup in a lot of ways. I don’t like being lied to. At all. Tell me the awful truth, and I’ll deal with it. But purposefully, repeatedly, and knowingly abuse my trust? Absolutely unforgiveable.

I’ve spoken elsewhere on the internet about the details of the lies—the utter pointlessness of them. (Imagine, for instance, lying about who redid the landscaping in your backyard.) It was during the pandemic where we began talking in earnest, having entered each other’s orbit through a mutual friend in the art world. He seemed safe. We shared good news with each other, vented about the insanity of the world, swapped cute animal photos and funny memes. But the context of it all was impossibly and completely different than what I was told. The curated image I was given was a lie. Things were deliberately kept from me, information was twisted and distorted—and the kicker was that he lied to other people about me.

Again, for no reason. We’d done professional work together, and it was very public! And very fun at the time. But he apparently claimed we weren’t friends. The moment things started to feel wrong between us was easy to brush aside. Easy to explain away. Easy to understand. He was stressed, job hunting. I was dealing with myriad stresses of my own. No relationship is unmarred by life’s more than occasional weirdness. It’s easy to shrug things off. To ascribe to something banal, innocent.

Then, the truth came out. And honestly, I’m still sifting through the ramifications. The ways the deceit stuns me, even now, not just in the moment. How it felt peculiar to suddenly and wildly not know someone.

In the moment, I took the piece down. I put it away. I didn’t want to look at it. I couldn’t. It was too big of a reminder. It felt like mockery. Because what was it all about? What was the point of any of it? (These are questions that will never have answers.) I was—and still am—angry. Angry at the broken trust. The carelessness of it all. The cruelty too, so unnecessary in its articulations.

But what do I do with the art? Initially, I thought I’d burn it dramatically like Sylvia Plath and the letters. Or chuck it in the trash, as symbolic gesture of getting rid of it all, of closure. (Because there is none of that here, and that is fine. I do not want it. Nothing said could fix or mend or ease.) Getting rid of it, however, feels wrong.

It’s still beautiful. It’s still art. It’s still me.

But for now, it won’t hang where I can see it. It will not be a reminder of heartbreak and betrayal. It will not sit a monument to a lost friend, who was such a small, sad creature in the end. Because to act with such malice—and there was malice in the threads of it—is not the act of a kind or good heart. And I do not have space in my life for anything other than warmth and genuineness.

Someday—I don’t know when—I’ll put it out of the dark and either hang it up or give it away. Someday, maybe someone I love will want it, and I will want to give it to them. A moment of captured beauty, the kind that might drown a man—offered with love.

I’m glad I didn’t burn it, even as I am glad to have burnt that bridge.

[beach-illustrations]

Would love to hear your review of Artfol once you've settled in a bit! (Probably wouldn't hurt for me to have a more presentable art archive somewhere either, so I'm curious about the alternatives)

of course!! after using artfol for about a week, i do like it! it's still very new, so i wasn't expecting too much off rip from it but it definitely has some good potential if it gets successful!

putting this under a read more because, as per usual, this got long.

to start: the good stuff! good, robust organization thus far for artists. all the art you post gets automatically put in its own separate tab on your profile called gallery in chronological order and any other art and text posts that you share as well as your own art and text posts get put into another tab called feed. the feed is in chronological order from newest to oldest and it's suuuuper nice being able to have an easy place that contains all your original work people can go to without the hassle of punching in specific tags in a search bar (or inputting them into the website url) and hoping for the best. the feed can then be further organized between posts and art, art submitted to challenges, art submitted to submissions and reshares of other peoples stuff.

you can also make collections for your own gallery, so you can have all your fan art in one collection, ocs in another, etc. this isn't just for personal organization either; your separate collections are displayed under the about section on your profile or, if you've got them, links section! i honestly like this a lot. most of my experience of running an art blog comes from tumblr and getting separate pages set up on your blog, while not horribly difficult, does require a bit of knowledge regarding html and manually inputting website urls where you want the links to go. having all of this steam lined is much better. all of this is relatively easy to figure out as long as you're open to just clicking buttons on the website to see what they do, as far as i could find there's no official tutorial available. you can only have a limited number of these without a premium subscription but i haven't a clue as to what that limit even is.

you can also effectively pin certain art pieces that you're proud of to the top of your gallery by putting them in a featured selection. no idea how to do this yet but i do think this in of itself is neat.

customization is light but they cover the basics well. they've got a nice bio and announcement/secondary heading type feature under your username that you can customize, as well as a nice big space for an icon and a big ol' banner you can put your art in. other than that, you can choose a 'theme color' as artfol calls it but it just determines the color of the bar under your banner as far as i can tell on the website version. they also have a separate area for links that automatically turn into the websites icon you're linking back to.

custom warning tags!!! these fully blur the image and you can put as many words to warn others about the content of the art as you want to clarify what someone's getting into if they click show. at first i was worried i could only put one custom warning on an image but nope, it lets you write multiple warnings on the censored image if the NSFW and Gore filters aren't cutting it for the art.

speaking of which; artfol allows NSFW! in places where online spaces have been getting progressively sanitized because big corporations and google ad sense are the ones who can pay the bills of hosting thousands of images and videos on servers, it's nice to see that.

the challenges! other artists can issue challenges to others to either draw their characters in certain outfits, as certain creatures, drawing a piece of art in your style, etc. think some of the various art memes floating around on twitter, except this time they have their own dedicated category! i haven't done any challenges yet but this seems like a great way to socialize with other artists on artfol, as well as stretch your own art skills.

AI art is explicitly banned.

there is an algorithm however it prioritizes art made recently, so artists of all skill level and mediums get a shot at being seen on the front page which is nice! as far as i can tell, your home feed (which is very similar to tumblr's) is in chronological order and doesn't put in any suggested or recommended posts in the middle of the posts of the people you've chosen to follow. the like and share options are easily accessible and when you share someone else's art, it notifies them by telling them that you've pinged them which is... odd to me, but the website doesn't seem to auto credit them any other way in reshares (in contrast, tumblr keeps the OP's username and icon at the top of their own original post when it gets reblogged). i'm also something of a tumblr hermit so this could be a common reshare (reblog?) format else where for all i know and i'm just griping about nothing.

there is a premium subscription you can sign up for as i mentioned earlier. you get stuff like no ads (which you also get if you've got an adblocker on your browser), more collections can be made, you can upload cover art (icons, i think?) for your collections and the art you post, you can have custom profile theme colors (i guess they let you use the color wheel or a hex code instead of the pre seleced colors they already have?) you get more layouts for your featured art on your profile and you don't have to wait 60 days to change your username. oh, and you can make groups that people can join based around one particular thing, however i haven't touched any groups yet because none of them are all that appealing to me.

honestly, a lot of the premium subscription perks are very inconsequential to the core functionality of artfol which is a huuuuge bonus to the devs in my eyes. they easily could have paywalled commission pages or collections all together and them just giving you some extra customization perks instead shows me that the devs are actually focused on making an artist friendly website and app.

over all, artfol is relatively easy to navigate and upload your art to! the base features are solid however the website does have some downsides.

the bad:

the most egregious thing is that I haven't been able to and currently can't access the content guidelines or privacy policy pages. when I first signed up, artfol gave me a link to what the website claimed was the content guidelines however it just linked me to the news page and that really didn't sit well with me.

because the artfol website is so new, I am going to give them a chance and interpret this in the best faith possible and assume that it seems like this is just an issue of certain pages crashing, seeing as I used to be able to access the News page on artfol and now it's just gone like the other pages. on top of that, it seems like every link except for their twitter, android and apple download links, instagram and discord links at the bottom of the artfol website page is broken in the same way. out of all pages eating themselves the content guidelines and privacy policy ones feel like the worse ones to lose. I haven't been able to access the guidelines from the jump and it's been really frustrating. I just got done sending an e-mail to their contact e-mail, so hopefully something good comes from that. in the mean time i've also downloaded the app to try to see if i can find the guidelines and privacy policy on there. I've noticed people complaining about crashing pages in the mobile app reviews so hopefully this is just a case of a website page accidentally eating itself and it's just very unfortunate coincidence that it happens to be some very important pages affected by the crashes.

other than that, the other downsides are that the website takes like a minute and a half to load, clicking on a censored image to view it on your home feed takes you to the individual post and has you un-censor it there rather than directly from your home feed and some features are currently only available to mobile accounts such as commissions tabs, however i'm sure that will eventually be made available to the website version as well in due time. also, while uploading art, not including the custom censor tag or NSFW or gore filters, you can only put 5 tags on your art. these are all only minor annoyances and i'm sure they'll eventually be fixed in upcoming patches.

over all: asides from some concerning hiccups with missing pages, artfol seems very promising for a relatively new, bare bones website! the developers have very much taken a mobile app first, website later approach which at least to me isn't the end of the world, seeing how the website is already doing okay all things considered. the community seems nice and i'm planning on trying out some challenges soon to get more experience using it!

[37-children-of-the-dreams]

Oh, I so liked your art of Eira and Six, and if you'll do their children, I would love to see them too, and I'm sure they'll all have highest rewards!

Also, interesting fact, I just realised that monsuno characters drawn so proportional, that my face is literally Six's face, but with dark circles and hair. It felt so weird to see something terribly familliar in Six, and more weird to realise it's exacly your own face.

Also, I'm playing one game, now I wont name it, and it has Eclipse kingdom Dynasty, who were very technological, but royal's right hand scientist decided to became a God, and all kingdom perished from Head Celestial God's anger, and pure blooded dudes became immortal seeing their half blood families turn into terrible monsters and lately got killed, even children.

Also, Sun(o) dudes here kinda exist here. Also, that alchemist made around 5-6 clones, and only one survived as he thought, but later revealed two others too, one of them was killed, and one run away, and other dead one is surely know to be a giant bloody dragon. Also, that clone alive, he said that one day he would turn into giant monster and kill everyone and asks main character to save everyone from him when that happens. Also, main character is sun(o) dude, and this clone and one his alive brother is not just that eclipse scientist's clone, but main character's too. Just like we know where.

And Eclipse kingdom is underground kingdom, and is in desert, and there were their underground high Tech hqs, a lot, with robots, controling rooms and everything.

Also, there is one shit, one of guards of royal family was pure blooded eclipse dude, and after a few hundred years after destruction he was traveling, seeing his people dying, get killed, turned into monsters, and he tells main character that they cant be saved. But he lies, cause we later reveal that not so long after everyone perished King found way to take off curse. And instead of seeking for it or use it directly, he just was wandering around, crying over everyone and telling "oh no, poor hooman, they cant be saved, but it's so sad to kill them, but I need too, so saaad". Piece of fuck. I really wanted to kill him because of that. And if someone helping his nation, even if it's SAFE WAY, he just stop them with main character and lying down and cry about what they cant do anything, but they know they can.

The art style in Monsuno is rather unique in terms that it looks easy to draw and it’s inspired by anime, but it still looks like the artists have drawn them in rather almost realistic proportions and Six is a good one to choose to study because he’s a basic look person that you can study his anatomy and practice him and after you’ve drawn him repeatedly, there’s a chance he just helped you get better in drawing the basic male anatomy.

Now…

Anon, I did read the entire post, and I did like it since it can be linked to Six and Eira and Monsuno, but considering how some gaming fandoms work here in tumblr, I don’t want to get flooded by people within the fandom who might know what we’re talking about. I myself play a pretty popular Asian gaming app that has elements of horror and dress up and have liked art from its fandom, but I don’t engage with them since I don’t always play the game and I have missed a ton of lore during my time not playing it and really I don’t want to get things wrong if it annoys people.

Still, thank you for telling me this entire lore, it truly is interesting since it shows how the developers really want their story to shine, and thank you for the good luck on Six and Eira’s children. I truly hope that they can achieve their parents’ achievements, but considering the limit of awards in the art competition is three ribbons, I have to be strategic about them and place them in the correct categories.

[ancientknightstudio]

Reading #3 Podcast Red Room by Matisse

We listened to an hour-long podcast about the Red Room by Matisse and how 6 other artists (painters) had their own takes on it but most of them came to the same points. The main Questions were, 'Was this intentional or spontaneous?', 'Was the work finished?' and 'Was there regret?"

The first caller was Rashid Johnson. He was the one to ask the question, 'When is artwork really finished? As long as the artwork is in my sites and isn't know to the general pubic it is not safe from me.' He calls it artist instinct to want to continue with a piece or think it's finished one day and then you need to continue to work on it the next day. In a since you don't always have to know what you are doing with a piece, it will come naturally to you. Rashid believes that Matisse just wanted to paint the room red and that there wasn't any reason behind it, just because he wanted to. He also brings up another interesting point with how time will also change a piece. People didn't original like the red room, it wasn't for its time. But as time moved on the piece became more for the next generation of artist and later on a master piece.

Next was Sarah Sze. She describes how paintings talk to you. How artists are just the listeners as the piece tells you how to create it. The work can strike you like a tidle wave or come in in softer waves. I really find this analogy fun to read over because I can relate to it so much. She also says that in art, you don't want to constantly repeat yourself and that's what she thinks Matisse was thing when it came to the Red Room since it was already completed before he put the red paint there. However, she says that he was sctivly thinking about changing the room to red because you have to let the paint dry before you can add new layers. He was probably just wanting for the paint to dry to get started on the new layer. The color defiantly added more emotion to it and new meaning even if he just wanted to.

Carroll Dunham first starts the introduction saying, 'you can't really know what is going through someone head when they are creating something.' Or just just regular thoughts in general. Nobody knows where they come from and where they might lead you. Artist aren't special in that since because we can't give that kind of explanation. He says that Matisse had no logical thought process when he added the red paint. He might have thought it was a good idea at the time but he might of thought it needed to go. Carroll couldn't really decide on whether it was premeditation or impulse, but it didn't have a effect on people as time went on.

Joe Bradley goes more into the description of the red room then he does talk about the mindset of Matisse. He does mention a few things about going into the painting but the red making everything pop out and the flowers are the main focus of his call. One thing that the mentioned in this call is how easy the painting looked and how the younger generation might mistake it for a easy copy. Both artist on the call very much disagreed with that result saying a lot of time a effort wh=ent into making this piece even if it was not fully planned. Matisse also didn't cover up the entire first half of the painting to help show the process of his painting and how it cam to be. Not having it be perfect and to show how things can still be made wonderful but just nor perfect. Once you go with the painting, there isn't turning back. You have to live with what you had done and that's exactly what Matisse did.

David Reed belived that Matisse was planning on adding that color for months. He just was waiting for the right time to do so. David's perception on the work was also off because he expected a brighter red when really it was dark and moody. The atmosphere of that painting gave an illusion of a bright color and the artist also gave a slight illusion in the same since. How can a fully red room bring out a more negative mood in tone and value? Though the piece looks easy it is very much the opposite especially when finding the same color to match the same vibe with it.

Charline Von Heyl mentioned how Matisse had two other painting that he finished but also painted over even thought they were "completed." She claims that artist strives to get new results from their art even if they are good or if they are bad. However, it doesn't always work when you try and change a piece or it was just some bad timing, as in the piece wasn'r ready to be changed yet.

Overall, I've never actively told myself these points of views but it feels like I have. All of what each of these artist statements make complete since to me and I couldn't relate to them more.

[kafkaoftherubble]

MY IDIOTIC, EMBARRASSED ASS REBLOGGED THIS WITHOUT EVEN WRITING A SINGLE THING IN THE TEXT! MY IDIOCY KNOWS NO BOUNDS!

Can't believe I have to delete it and reblog again.

Counter-ramble below the cut.

We're having a R A M B L E O F F

Bruh. This? Was the huggiest text I have ever read!!!

I know I said your words always feel like a hug, but this was the huggiest! It was pretty damn tangible to me! Enough to make my innate Hug Response actually pop up—

Artistic interpretation:

That aside, I was actually... really overjoyed!

I didn't expect you to be THIS over the moon about my funky sorry-I-shattered-the-window-I-pasted-it-back-with-glue art for you. Your enthusiasm, among other things, was SO infectious that even I started to think, hey, yea, I mean... It was pretty good!

So thank you! For the compliment... and for being one of the people helping me appreciate my own work a bit better, hee hee! I'm not very good with compliments, so ya know, even if I look like I'm brushing it off and/or flustered and pushing it back and/or hiding inside walls, I'm secretly delighted to hear them Oh what was that? Nothing. Right! Point-form responses!

Stained glass window! Huh! Now that you mentioned it... wouldn't it turn your whole room into a psychedelic zone-out room as soon as the light hits it? Will it cause a worsening of eyesight? Gasp, no! DON'T NOVA DON'T—

But! You are totally free to do anything with the art. I made it for you! So you're the owner! You can print it out, make a photo card, make a calendar card, or if you wanna punish yourself, make a quilted blanket with this!

Honestly, I would make a cloth-based recreation of this for you if I were in your physical space for Christmas. Not sure about blankets because... I can't actually sew well enough to make functional things, bwahahahhahah! (Curse my mediocre ass!)

OHHH! CUBISM! YEA, IT KINDA DOES LOOK LIKE IT! However, the search results showed me rather surreal cubist art instead of godly people in bright-ass colors. Pfft!

Ahhhh! Put My Doodly Self down! Unhand me, you gigantic girl!

Also, I'm not the Easter Egg! A bit too easy to be one, I think, ahahah!

I'll give you a hint: their heart. Focus there. The Easter egg is the meaning imbued there (If you still don't see it, then I guess I just didn't convey it well enough in the piece after all. Hahahahah!)

I SURE HOPE MY FRIEND IS PROUD OF HOW DINRAAL TURNED OUT. GEE, I WONDER IF SHE'S SEEING THIS.

I actually finished the ToFu side first PRECISELY because I knew ZeLink and their overt accessories were going to be a huge undertaking, and I had just recovered from a fever and its associated brain fog when I started working on this. I gotta paced myself!

I liked how ToFu side turned out when it was done. It looked peaceful, which was actually surprising to me. I didn't really set out to make it evocative of any actual feeling (because I'm unable to. I'm a crapshoot at emotions ahahahhaha) and the fact that it somehow did was a huge boost to my confidence.

And this is why Tonari being relaxing to draw—and coming out so good—was a huge confidence booster yet again. She was really the Encouragement Phase of the project; before this, I was actually crippled by the "Fuck it's gonna suck IT'S GONNA BE SO UGLY I HATE IT ALREADY!" Demon.

THANKS, TONARI! You turning out well has been a huge help! It was enough to make me tackle Fushi's more challenging (and annoyingly un-diverse) color scheme...

and then the whole fuckery with the ZeLink side later, ahhahaha! (This side was actually the one that made me think "I don't wanna draw triangles for at least 3 weeks.")

-----

Just in case I didn't convey it enough:

Thank you for your enthusiastic ramble, mai bruzha!

I found it kinda funny that even when I was doing something I rarely dabble in, my traits and thought patterns still ended up going into this novel activity and taking up new forms of expression.

For example, my compulsion to imbue very specific meanings into each choice, like what color to put here and there, or what context to use, or what story it's supposed to mean, etc. It's the same way I approach writing and reading an essay/article and engaging in media like games, books, and the like. It's the way I think and link things together.

Then there's the "I cannot draw something like everyone else can, so I will break them down into pieces and color them in my strange, weird little way and hopefully, I can use it to approximate actual art" idea. It's really just an adaptation of the overall mindset I have in approaching things like social instincts, empathizing with other people's emotions, and understanding other people, isn't it?

So, ya know, to see that you adore it so much? In a way, it seems like an affirmation that you, by extension, adore some of the things that "are" me.

And that's probably the biggest reason why I wanna thank you.

OKAY SEE YA BYE BYE AREN'T YOU EATING GOOD TOFU WITH THE NEW CHAPTER BWAHAHAHHAH.

Oh yea. I need to leave my special stamp:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PRESIDENT OF TONARI CLUB!

I, uh, m-made something f-for you.

Know that I'm totally embarrassing my ass over here, so... Don't laugh loud enough that I can hear you from over here!

Aaaaaand now, per Lyndis tradition, I'm gonna overexplain shits and turn a simple Ask into a whole ass Ramble!

-----------------------------(why is there no "Read More" partition in an Ask? I'm so embarrassed right now goddamn it)-------------------------

If you're short-sighted, try removing your glasses or contact lenses and look at this picture. I just did and it's suddenly even prettier!

I actually planned to draw your Sonicsona at first. And then I realized I deadass couldn't even draw Base Sonic. Then I thought I should draw a mole. I realized I also couldn't draw a mole. I thought I should just go for the easiest shit and draw ToFu. I realized I could not draw either one of them, too.

Because I cannot draw, I cheat! I mean I turn things into shapes (chiefly triangles, though not all of them) and then color them and hope that something shows up. This is me using this scientific /+ philosophical concept called Emergence.

No, I didn't just say THAT to sound like I have a technique of any kind, trust. It's so totally a technique—my very productive ass told me.

I remember you saying your favorite color is something like pink, blue, and stuff? It was from that tag game from last year. Hence, I decided I should create a context so I could draw an obscene amount of pink and blue.

If I'm being honest, it took me less than a millisecond to come up with the exact context—Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom is abundantly blue.

And since I always wanted to sneak ToFu in, I thought I would make a purplish-pink dusk. And then I will sneak those stargazing two in.

Come on. Everyone knows those ToFu panels. Even someone like me, who had not seen that part of the manga yet, knows.

Bless Tonari for being so relaxing to color.

HOWEVER! Fushi's limited-ass color presented a big problem for my cheat-drawing. How many combinations of "white" can you even make before you zoom out and see... nothing?! So I basically sabotaged them. That's what you get for being difficult, you mopey, neck-crick-possessing, fragile-enough-to-be-blown-by-the-wind cutie doofus.

I made up the color of their pants. I didn't even refer to their Nameless Boy drip when I decided on the color. I assed that part.

Yes. I admit I put a shit ton of effort into coloring Zelda. This version of Zelda is my kin, you know. Anyway, I like the way her, uh, shirt turned out.

I also like how the Master Sword turned out, but there was so much blue I ended up requiring outlines to distinguish it from Link's shirt and the sky. Told ya I have no technique or skill. I cheat through and through

I was too lazy to draw those sky islands. Besides, the ToTK side is already saturated with details.

What the fuck issa "proportion?" Everyone's head is an orange. The difference, Nova, is whether it's a Mandarin Orange or an Orange.

I don't know if I overdid Dinraal's draconic mane. It looks like she's wearing a wig. At least she is different from how she initially looked—a red tapeworm outfitted with chicken legs.

I admit I put more effort than any Past Me would have into Dinraal because a certain mutual is very, ah, particular about dragons.

Drawing two of your favorite ships for their show of devotion was a completely deliberative choice on my end. Did you also realize that both Link and Fushi had a short, small, low ponytail and that both Zelda and Tonari had similar hair? I believe it's due to me hitting my drawing skill limitation.

There is actually an Easter Egg of some sort in this picture. It's not the ugly doodle thing, no. That thing is me. I'm not an Easter Egg; I'm a ghost.

I'm not telling you what that Easter Egg is. I'm fine with it never being discovered; it'd be like those secret levels in old video games.

But if you DID discover it, come tell me what you think it is!

---------------

I hope you like it enough! Instead of it giving you a migraine, that is. Surely my """art"""... doesn't require a trigger warning... right?

Have a good one, mai bruzha!

---Lyn

A RAMBLE FROM YOU LYN IS THE BEST POSSIBLE BRITHDAY PRESENT I COULD HAVE EVER RECEIVED!!!! COUPLED WITH ART BY YOU????? AND OF MY FAVORITE FELLAS????? What did I deserve to be so blessed ;A; 💕💕💕

I’ll spare us all a little extra scrolling on my part by adding that read more you were fretting about, I have my own ramble upcoming!

I KNOW YOURE ON YOURSELF ABOUT NOT BEING ARTISTIC OR WHATEVER BUT THIS IS ART!!! AND DAMN GOOD ART TOO!!!!!!! This is!!!!!!!!!!! I want this made into stained glass I want to make this the permanent window to me bed roOM LYN THIS IS AMAZING THIS IS ALMOST CERTAINLY GOING DOWN AS ONE OF MY FAVORITE ART STYLES!!!! There’s no such thing as cheating in art, it’s all art!!! “Cheating” is a style, no technique is a style!!! I should know I have none either, hehe -w-‘ your art may be some type of cubism? Hehe idk I’m not an art student :3 Either way this is absolutely gorgeous I’m in LOVE!!!

It’s so creative and well done and I LOVE your eye for detail, the lighting is inspired!!!! Like the way the sun hits the space behind Zelda is so pretty, AND ZELDA IS SO PRETTY!!!!!! EVERYRHING IS SO PRETTY, I CANT FOCUS ON ONE THING BECAUSE I KEEP JUMPING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN ALL THE THINGS I LOVE ABOUT IT (every thing, every last detail!!! Is that a little you in the middle? Is that the Easter egg???? I could just pick you up and pat your little head!!! 😭 I know you don’t love hugs but that’s how I’ll be standing if you’re ever ready for one!!!)

I should slow down maybe and pick a few things to focus on BUT I JUST CANT I LOVE IT ALL!!!! The two scenes just blend so well into one another that my eyes are just naturally being drawn back and forth between both of the scenery! Dinraal, who turned out AMAZIING BY THE WAY, ABSOLUTELY NOT OVERDONE, if anything I’m so glad you had fun working on her!!! She’s so gorgeous!!!! I bet your friend is so so proud of how well she looks!!! Oh but anyway, Dinraal naturally leads my eyes over to the sun/moon (and the 24, hehe, thank you!!! /)//(\ Your memory is astounding!!), which have their own beautiful rays of light leading down onto the adorable couples 😭 I love love LOVE the moonlight leading down onto Tonari and Fushi, and the fact that she’s pointing at it too like she can almost reach it? Beautiful! Gorgeous!!! And it just leads my eyes down to them too, there’s just such a natural circular flow here, no wonder I keep getting caught in a loop of admiration! 😁

The blues and the pinks, and the stars on the ToFu side!!! I just noticed them and they’re everything to me!!!! Hahaha I’m so glad Tonari was relaxing to color hehe, same for me, something about her is just so lovely and calming when she’s relaxed 🥰 As for Fushi’s colors, I didn’t notice! Even after you pointed it out it looks good to me! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ this is from someone who never references colors though, I’m so loosey goosey about everything -w- BUT YOUR SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM WAS GREAT, THEIR SHAPE IS VERY VISIBLE AND EASY TO MAKE OUT hehe :3 I love their crossed little legs 🥰

Zelda being your kin is so good to know hehe, I’ve always been drawn to all versions of Link myself! I think we’ve been perfectly set up to “play dolls” with these characters in the future, so to speak! Aaaahh they can’t have been easy to draw, there’s a reason I almost never dabble in drawing those two and their intricate outfits, but you make it look effortless!!! Zelda’s shirt turned out amazing, and I’m stuck looking at her little triangle braids!!!! I don’t know why I’m so fixated on that it’s just adorable!!! 😭💕 What a lovely technique, man, I’m so enchanted! AND THE MASTER SWORD, I know you called it cheating BUT I LOVE THE LINE WORK, it makes the sword stand out, almost like you lined that specific part with some sort of melted gold??? Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!

This is gorgeous and beautiful in every which way and thank you!!!! For everything!!! For this beautiful drawing and for giving me a chance to ramble and giving me something gorgeous to look at for the rest of my day, and for indulging in both of my silly little ships /)//(\ I’m so glad I don’t need glasses because I love every inch of your art, thank you thank you THANK YOU!!!!! Gosh it’s so so so lovely 😭💕 you’re so lovely!!!!

I don’t know how to say goodbye so I guess I’ll just say good night for now! Thank you for thinking of me… I’ll have a wonderful day, so long as you promise me you’ll have a wonderful night along side me 🥰

Goodnight, Mai Bruzha!

- Nova

[phoenix-before-the-flame]

Im sorry im sot sure how to word this right but, how do you manage to change the characters race while still making them look like well, them? I've tried but it never comes out right.... they allways look like a new character when i try.... again im sorry to ask....

Tis not a problem at all dear comrade! I'm always happy to try and answer art questions, but just a heads up i might get a lil bit rambly in some spots so i do apologize beforehand.

First off, change that negative tone!

I understand how you feel and its easy to feel down when the piece isnt turning out how you picture it but that's ok. You're setting foot into new artistic territory, something you havent tried before thats still a fairly big unknown. Instead of seeing it as a failure see it instead as a step in your artistic growth. No one starts off god tier right? Changing your framing of how you see your 'bad' drawings can really help you see em in a more positive light (and help with motivation when you attempt something new another time!)

Ok but onto what you actually asked about. How do you change a character but still keep them the same? Well in my eyes to do this, you have to

Break down thedesign

Let's take in the character we wanna redesign. We gotta really look at their original design and identify all their relevant features and shapes that make them easily recognizable as them.

Lemme grab my assistant Gajeel to illustrate my point.

So we have our Gajeel, yea we know what he looks like but! What exactly are we looking for here? Well we're looking for the key features to his design, features important enough where if he had a completely different hairstyle and colour palette ( and perhaps even body type) would make you go 'yea that's gajeel'.

So in breaking it down we note that he has:

Triangular shaped eyes with a bit of a dark outline

Small eyes with slit pupils

Prominent cheekbones

Jacked up hairline

And of course the most noticable feature, the multiple piercings

These- to me- are the most important parts of his design so i leave them generally unchanged when i go about drawing him. Which means everything else is on the table to change!

Though for me when I got about my redesigns i focus on changing 3 things mostly- nose, lips and hair. These really push a race change design, specifically in this case, makin em black

Now of course with this you are going to change skin tone that's obvious but relying solely on colour palette change makes for a somewhat weak redesign. If you turn off the colour and you can't tell if the character is nonwhite then it needs some work.

Noses and Lips

Now there are a great many ways to draw wider noses and it can be a bit difficult figuring out to interpret em without em lookin janky but i find that less is more!

I only ever really show the base of the nose where the tip part is and the nostrils, the bridge of the nose is only ever shown in my style when the head is a bit turned.

The same goes with lips, you only really need about 2 or 3 lines at minimum to emphasizs thick lips- one for the actual lip line, one for the top lip and one for the lower lip. Some people choose to leave out the line for the bottom lip and thats fine. Just don't do this-

If you do that im putting you in the ground myself.

Hair

Hair is a bit of a 50/50 for me to change most times because i really enjoy drawing that spiky anime hair lol. But I think that the important thing to keep note of changing the hairstyle to a more natural one is to keep the overall silhouette of the hair recognizable.

The silhouette being y'know, the shape and all that. If you're a pokemon fan then you already know how much a silhouette builds recognition. So as an example, Juvia's first hairstyle was that straightened looke with the tight curls at the end. The shape of that hairstyle was mimicked by using braids with puffs at the ends to help with maintaining that silhouette.

Gajeel has very big, spiky and wild hair so I tried to mimick that with dreads

(Also to note with the Gajeel redesign is that his face is slightly wider with the features a bit lower but thats more of a liberty I took than anything hard and fast so dont even worry about that)

Again, if i am changing the hair then i try to follow the shape of the original design as closely as possible. Even with a design such as my Black Gray design with a vastly different hairstyle i still sketched out the shape of his og hair to maintain the overall spiky shape (with a few liberties lol)

So uh, yea! I think that's the most basic breakdown of how to go about doing a black redesign. Identifying the key design traits i think really is the most important step to do as it really helps to cement what's necessary to keep and what can or cant be changed.

But some other stuff to be mindful of when redesigning:

Refs naturally are your friend. If you have difficulty with interpreting irl refs then theres no shame in using someone elses art as a reference to help you to learn and understand (just no tracing!)

Please for the love of god use saturated browns for the skin tone. I cannot tell you how often i see designs with a gray-brown skin tone. It makes the character look ashy. Please don't make them ashy.

Also speaking of skin tones, be mindful of being accidentally colourist, where all your darker skinned characters villains or angry, loud, violent, sexual, etc. Not saying you can't redesign characters who have those traits to be dark skinned. But if all the characters you redesign to be dark skinned have those traits while others with more positive traits are lighter shades you may want to step back and do some reflection.

Don't be let down if you don't get a redesign on the first try! You don't see behind the scenes for other artists, it definitely takes a few tries to get it right so dont get hung up on it!

These are not hard and fast rules, just really what works for me and how I do things. If you need anything clarified better or wanna ask anything else feel free to! Happy redesigning comrade!