#its too early in the morning for this i cant do this rn

[dalloneveryday]

day 117. who let her do this

[gay-fordeath]

.

[inviso-bill-strikes-again]

absolutely SUCKS to be the one in charge doing something I could not care less about, because I know it's something literally anyone else would enjoy more

[youredreamingofroo]

a bit of a message talking about inactivity and my possible hiatus. I dont know if this counts as a cw but i talk about depression here and there at the beginning (nothing graphic) and as usual, its a rant

im gonna be straight honest rn, i'm probably not gonna be active on tumblr for these next few days, ive been super up and down depressed and im just unmotivated and too tired to do anything, im still gonna check in here and there but dont expect me to reblog or reply to many posts, if at all. This could mark the beginning of a hiatus, but with mood swings and up and down depression, i could be back, active as ever tomorrow. Ever since ive uninstalled Sims 4, i did feel a weight lift off my shoulders, but simultaneously made me depressed due to the lack of... well... doing something, i dont... really know how to put it into words, its just something in my brain that i just cant explain, i guess a good way to put it is playing sims 4 gave me the motivation to stem off into other mediums, blender for example, gave me something to do, something to learn, and while i can still use blender, i just get progressively slower and slower at doing stuff in it because of my limited resources, some scenes i want to do require specific outfits and i dont have the facilities to make those outfits... i mean i probably do but i just dont feel motivated to do all that. I still play other games, ive been playing a lot of slime rancher 2 and have been trying to branch out to other games (indie games and bigger games), I want to post gameplay but if youve seen me rant about tumblr before, one of my biggest gripes is just how fucking annoying it is to upload images, so i just get completely unmotivated to post images/gameplay especially if its just some silly post. if uh if anyone is still reading this, ill be honest, i havent even been motivated to write about WAS at all, probably havent touched the planning doc in about 2 weeks. This... 'spiral'... has been noticeable for me for the last week as my sleep schedule gets swapped around from sleeping at night and awake during the day... to sleeping during the day and awake at night, this is all my fault, but its also just something that happens rotationally for me, i go from sleeping VERY early in the evening (6PM at the earliest) and waking at VERY early times in the morning (4AM at the latest) to sleeping VERY late in the morning (6AM at the earliest) and waking up late in the evening (3PM at the latest), i dont really know what causes the shift, but it happens, and i often blame myself for it even though i dont know what causes it...

anyways sorry, this will probably mark a very iffy hiatus, like i said ill be active but not... super active, i didnt check tumblr at all yesterday/monday, so thats kind of the pattern to expect from me depending on the day. In the meantime... i might try to get back into older sims games, ive mentioned this before, but i do have sims 1 on my laptop so maybe ill post stupid little gameplay posts from there (granted i havent played in like... a month 😐). I'll probably put up a poll after this post for people to vote on which sims game i should play- i KNOW i did it once before but im probably gonna do it again cuz i cant find the post and i have over 1000 posts 😭

if you read thus far, thank you for sticking around, if your a random person who read this for no reason... thanks? if your a follower of mine and cant understand where im coming from with this lengthy post, see yourself out or deal with it 🙃 otherwise, thank you all and i will be lurking about

[sonnyinthesky]

Just had the worlds worst conversation with my mother (under cut)

Tw: rape, CSA, vent

So, I mentioned my fear of sharing a room with someone right? And my mum asks me why im scared of that, and i share that its because im constantly afraid of the other person raping me in my sleep, or otherwise assaulting me sexually. And i thought this was a normal-ish fear right? Like everyone is super hyper vigilant about sexual assault right? But my mum said thats actually really concerning, and asked if anyone has ever assaulted me, to which i said no, not to my knowledge. Anyway this lead to a conversation about how im constantly terrified, how any time a man walks past i shiver and think that this might be it, that he might grab me and rape me, how i cant go out early in the morning or late at night because im scared something will happen, how i cant get close to people physically because they might touch me inappropriately, and how i dont have sleepovers at friends houses because im scared. And my mother asked me questions about it, and she got really worried, and i said "but its fine, if someone raped me as a kid i would remember it", and I thought shed agree but instead she brought up how she was raped at age 4 and didnt remember until she was 20 and reading a book about CSA. And then I remembered a few books i tried reading, and how i couldnt get past where they mention/imply CSA because it made me panic. And i asked my mum if i showed signs of it as a kid, and she said yes, but i was so emotionally dysregulated because of the other abuse, not to mention undiagnosed autism, that it was impossible to tell, and that wouldve made me a perfect victim. I said theres no way because i wasnt around any pervy men, and while my dad was pure evil, he wasnt that evil, and anyway he has so many kids that someone wouldve said something by now, right? Well, he had no contact with any of his kids except me and one of my half sisters, and both of us have always been alike in our behaviour, and my sister used to beat me up, but she would kick me in the privates because "no one would check there" and now i think of it, how did she know that? How did she know to attack me there at such a young age? But then again, she couldve come into contact with plenty of men i didnt. Theres no way that happened to me, right? And i tell my mother this, and she said maybe, but then she brought up my asexuality and what ive told her about my experience with sex, and she said she was concerned even with that but now with the other stuff shes really worried, and she says i should talk to my counsellor about it, because she knows she wouldnt be clear headed enough to help me considering her personal history and the fact that well, shes my mum. But then i thought more about what ive said about being ace, and how i do experience attraction and i like the idea of sex in theory but the thought of being touched makes me feel sick, and i have nightmares about the time i had sex, despite it being fully consensual and the fact that in the moment i loved it, and when i am reminded of sex i feel physically ill, and apparently thats not being ace, that's something much more concerning? Not to mention the fanfic i used to write, where every self insert i had would always be sexually abused, despite me supposedly never being abused in that way myself. And i have nightmares all the time about being raped, but i put that down to watching too much svu. Also, tmi but like, i cant even pleasure myself without feeling violently ill and sobbing because i hate sexual acts so much....all of this is to say, i dont fucking remember if anything ever happened to me, but i do know i have forgotten other traumatic moments, and that scares the shit out of me. Im 100% not ok rn, and i cant think of anything else other than i mightve been assaulted as a child and i dont remember it. I really hope not, obviously. I dont see my counsellor for another two weeks and idk who to talk to about this. I bet none of this made sense, i just needed to get it off my chest. Im scared and worried, because what if my biggest fear already happened and i didnt know it?

[system-of-a-feather]

hi there! i have a question related to birds for a uni project of mine and i was wondering if you could help me out with your extensive bird knowledge?

if rn is not a good time thats fine too of course!

but basically in one of our design courses the task is to design some object to cut any kinds of plants with, so i figured id take some inspiration from nature. And since garden shears look kind of similar to bird beaks i was wondering if there is indeed a connection?

are there birds who use their beaks to actually cut twigs or leaves? and if so, how are there beaks ideally shaped, or do they use other methods.?

regardless, i hope you have a nice day!

..... design? .... birds? i am so interested /joke but also genuine/

I dunno if this is design more so in a sense of art / concept design or design in more of an engineering / crafting sense, but I very very much ALSO like designing and taking inspiration from nature

Either way, to what I can think of, I don't know of any birds that really "cut" twigs or leaves, but that is largely semantics on the common terms I've seen used for best describing certain feeding / foraging / nest building methods in birds

The most related towards shears that you are pointing at probably would be geese species as they largely feed primarily on grasses and plant material and are actually known for seeking out specific parts of the grass that is the most "fresh" and high quality (cant remember the best word used to describe their selection cause its the morning whoops)

Typically they're talked about as "pruning" grass but they're specialized for clipping grass basically and that why they have their infamous "teeth" on their beaks as well as their serrated tongue. I think this page describes a lot of the goose beak adaptions in relation to their diet.

Alternatively, and away from the garden sheer relation but also relevant to the idea of "cutting" plant material, I strongly recommend also considering a number of parrot species.

Parrots are very very very infamous for their amazing ability to basically destroy anything and everything - even the smallest beak parrots can do some terrible damage if left unmonitored and left bored or just in any more

Parrots typically credit this ability to a combination of their hooked and pointed beak that allows for a very strong and pretty pinpointed puncture (similar to birds of prey and their hooked beak that is aimed for puncturing meat; for birds of prey this hook is smaller as they use it for tearing meat and not breaking things like nuts and similar; larger beaks tend to come with the cost of them being clunkier) as well as a very very very powerful bite force that basically allows them to bite off, crush, grab, and break most things which of course comes from their specialization to eat hard nuts which are often protected by tough and hard shells

There is actually a pretty wide variety in parrot beaks as well that don't get addressed as much when you look online afaik but the standard parrot beak has a few notable features

The Maxilla tends to be larger and "overbitten" and the mandible is smaller and sometimes has a notch in the tip (look at cockatiel beaks) which I imagine helps with controlling the food in the mouth. Most notably the thing that gives these beaks that would otherwise be a little pointlessly clunky and an issue for eating with is the very very powerful and muscular tongue which they use to shuffle the food and material around to adjust which parts are facing the bite force of the beak as well as to move the good food stuff from the nuts into their mouth while discarding the shell. Their tongue is more of a finger in their mouth.

Some species also have a like mini notch and/or bumpy and uneven parts (not the right term its early in the morning fight me) in their Maxilla which also helps in getting the "right" angle and bite force on the thing they are trying to tear apart

Specifically related to cutting plant material though, I strongly recommend looking up videos of female peach faced lovebirds and blue-crowned parrots as they are actually specifically known for cutting and precisely cutting off pieces of plant material (or in captivity, paper) for nest material and caching it in their feathers

And additionally for twigs just any big parrot (particularly cockatoos) are GODS at it

Also a good series that features cockatoos fucking up and just destroying shit is Maker's Muse's cockatoo puzzle series

Not related but also

Hope this gives some inspiration ^^ Feel free to ask more or anything that comes to mind cause me X birds

[narwhalandchill]

also i completely forgor to watch the hsr stream i hear theres like 37 xianzhou characters coming up? hard to feel that invested in anyone yet without visuals (jiaoqiu is p cute n yunli is w/e to me) but we will see . Please no further xianzhou female character design incidents hoyo

also dunno if its just me coming in completely ootl to watch the trailer just now or if that one was just? incredibly mid lmao it wasnt rly that high intensity or tension to me and rly failed to catch my attention but i could just be low on energy or just uninterested given my uhhhhhh not that favorable opinion on fireflys writing lmao so her being involved at the v beginning that should be the Hook for the trailer kinda had my brain glazing over instead

its actually So unfortunate for me that like. the 2 limited break dps they are doing back to back are just so ehhhhhh to me 😭 like i was xueyi and RM enjoyer Before hatblazer and content catering to the archetype so it feels so tragic that im just not drawn to either one. also ofc firefly RM gets the great 4* (gallagher mostly but also misha copies could be cool) . i mean im gonna go for jade still but i do think ill throw a ten pull or two at firefly (cant do RM bc shes already e1 and e2 is not that good) and like if she spooks early ill take it like personal opinion on her character aside its not like shes not about to be incredibly strong anyway . but i just really want to try to get gallagher e2 for break teams if i can help it and jades 4* lineup Really isnt impressive (e6 on all of em) anyway

i think overall ive just been feeling sorta meh w hsr lately ?? still playing obvi and all esp w how convenient of a morning commute game it is now that im working but none of the new units im mega invested on . jade is cooler kit wise (even Slight blade synergy will Always sell me on an unit id otherwise be more undecided on 💀 jingliu n sparkle moment) but her design outside of the hat and most of the top half of her outfit is still just tragically eh . love the snake and the concept of the whip cane but some of the animations are also just uhhh. bit over the top and im not rly the target audience for this kinda fanservice anyway lmao

but ya still curious to see how it all ends w penacony, i might just be too exhausted to get that hyped myself rn jsjsksksksksk

(also on the ehhh mood w hsr its also that ive kinda just been in more of a genshin appreciator kick recently especially with the waves that shall not be wuthered game . nothing to reignite my love for genshins polish and care more than its tragically rushed "competition" crashing and burning through its launch as u watch . that and natlan teaser and theatre mode and all . ya know. so maybe its just a thing w hsr and genshin investment balancing each other out)

[fictionalnation]

Heres a quick fic for graylu:

After Natsu finally leaves Gray approaches Lucy. He can see she is still distraught about the conversation she had with her father. He is uncertain if he should mention he overheard it, maybe she would be embarrassed. Yet, he doesnt want to leave her alone.

Gray: hey, you mind if I come to your place for a bit?

Lucy: huh? Oh. You are asking me? She chuckles pretending to be okay. You never ask. As long as you keep your clothes on you are welcome to stay!

Gray: HEYYY what do you mean? I dont do it that often. He responds with a bit of a blush.

They go to the room together, Lucy’s mind is still elsewhere. She is barely holding on the tears. She cant put the key on the door and ends up dropping it.

Lucy: AGH. I am such an idiot. Good for nothing, idiot.

Gray looks at her concerned. He goes on his knees to help her collect the keys. He sees she is trembling. He holds her hand and looks her into the eyes. He gets her up and unlocks the door.

Gray: want me to make you some tea?

Lucy: you know how to make tea??

Gray: Ura taught us everything!

Lucy: sure, id like some tea. Thanks Gray. If you don’t mind I am gonna go take a quick shower.

He blushes. “Don’t think about her like that rn you idiot she needs you!”

He goes to make some tea. And shortly after Lucy returns, while her skin looks blossomy and her clothes comfortable, her face is still sad. They sit down to drink tea.

Gray: so… hey… about earlier…

Lucy: I know you werent the one stalking me… I appreciate you looking out for me.

Gray: No, I know you know… I just… I overheard your conversation with your father.

Lucy looks at him and looks back down at the tea. She feels so embarrassed at this. He saw how unworthy her father thought she was. Maybe now Gray will think it too. She clenches her cup tightly holding back tears.

Gray: I am sorry… I didn’t mean to intrude I just really wanted to make sure you are safe. But Lucy, I need you to know something. You are nothing like what he describes. It angers me- he punches the table- that anyone especially your father would speak to you like that.

Lucy: I am unworthy, and bad… he is right even in all this work I can barely afford rent and cant even help him. I am horrible. Horrible.

Lucy cant hold the tears back anymore. Gray comes closer to her in an instant and holds her hand again.

Gray: Never ever say that again Lucy Heartfillia. You are sunshine itself. I have never ever felt so much happiness as you bring me.

He gets quiet. She sniffs, and hugs him. He loves her scent and slowly pats her head.

Gray: It’s okay, Lucy, you are okay.

He stays like that with her head on his chest for a while. Finally, she pulls away realising what happened and blushes -

Lucy: Sorry.

Gray looks away and gets up.

Gray: well, I just wanted to make sure you are okay. I must get going now.

He gets up quickly and is about to walk out the door when he feels lucy’s hand holding his arm.

Lucy: Can you stay?

Grays heart beats loudly, he doesnt know how to respond. He is so sure he wants to but… what if its only because she is hurt?

Gray: If you want me to.

Lucy: I really really want you to.

Gray stops and turns and holds her hand. He tells Lucy to get in bed and cleans up the room. While on bed Lucy is reading and Gray asks to see what she is reading. He sits with her on the bed. Both their heart beats increase. They focus on the book and laugh a lot.

When they awaken its early morning and Gray sees Lucy on his chest. He is so happy to see her. But aldo terrified of all these feelings. He quickly tells her good morning and runs off.

—-

Let me know if you guys would like to read more 🥰

[icyfox17]

All this to sayyyyy, what have you been up to lately? Watched anything, written anything, read anything, so on and so forth?

Also here have a flower: 🌺

HI HI HI HI HI

IVE CONTINUED MY BINGE OF ELEMENRARYY ITS SO GOODIFJDOEHFKFKD

I took a break from it to binge yt but I remembered its existence lately so I am now continuing it

It's a Sherlock Holmes adaptation!!! I'm much more attached to it than the BBC version tho I do still adore the BBC version, but . Elementary is way better imo

Elementary!Sherlock is sooo big brother he's so :(( /pos I love him sm

I did do some writing today!!! I was hanging out in the library with my friend and we were vibing to my rainy day playlist IT WAS SO VIBES and while she did hw, I did some writing :D it's not a lot but I enjoyed writing it ^-^ it's the first time I've written first person in years, I used to swear against it but recently I've read a few first pov short stories for class n stuff and I've realised it can actually be used very effectively :0 so I wanted to try it!!

Leaves of auburn and ochre painted the sky above me, their scent of sweetness and musk pungent in the wind.

I sat there, listening to the soft creaking of the trees swaying, thinking of how small I felt in that moment. To these tall oak trees, who had all loved hundreds of years, my life was a simple speck, nothing more than one of those dew drops that they felt on their leaves in the early morning.

It's not a lot bc I ran out of time bUTTT I really like it ^-^

RN IM READING WITCHLANDS ITS SO GOOD GRACIE U NEED TO READ IT OUOGIGOGIIGIG ITS 4/4 SBI BEST 4/4 FIC IVE EVER READ ITS HIGH FANTASY AND REALLY GOOD HURT COMFORT OGUFOHIFOHSJDJGK AND DID I MENTION 4/4??? THAT MEANS SANDDUOOOO

LOOK AT FHJS SHITBDJFFKKFKFG HE LIKES PHILS LAUGH :((( HE INSTANTLY CLOCKED HIM AS A DAD :((( I CANT DO THISJDJFISOWHRIFKF BAWKS MY EYES OUT

Also there's a LOT of crimeboys ^-^

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32581789?view_full_work=true

Uhmmm and a LOT of twinsduo angst oops

Everyone's super wholesome except twinsduo criessss but they get their happy ending . Eventually SHFJGKFKFKKGG BUT YEAH ITS GENUINELY LIKE ONE OF MY TOP FIVE FICS EVER I ADORE IT SO MUCH OHMYGODFHDF

I'm hopefully gonna make chai tea (steeped in milk ^-^) but I ate too much dinner so we'll see if I have room for it :00

The rainy day vibes have been wonderful today!! I am so so happ ^-^

[iworshipsappho]

aaah tack for the tag!! @rosetintedgreyspaces :D <33

Favourite colour and why? ooh red and honestly idk i think i was like 4 or smth when i went oooh blood = cool and blood is red therefore red=cool and i love that for me

Five comfort movies: oof uhh red white and royal blue for sure yeah, maan karate,vip and remo are some really feel good tamil movies for me and uhh badhaai do :33

Favourite season and why? oof definitely has to be whatever we have from october to january here. literally all the other months are hot humid pressure cookers :')

Favourite book(s): YOU CAN'T MAKE ME PICKKKKK. but like the obvious answers here are RWRB, the song of achilles, one last stop, ooh room on the roof by ruskin bond one of my comfort books for sure, oh and this one book i read called my life as a book, changed my life as a kid honestly. other than that we have the toa series and uhh the iliad and odyssey which i havent gotten to yet but do love

favourite aesthetic(s)and why? mmmm im a big fan of dark academia but tbf i do love most aesthetics in varying multitudes, never really got much into it

Favourite genre and why? genre as in music or media?? idk in media it is definitely queer romance atm used to be mystery and mythology. and for music i more or less listen to anything and everything thats vibey

Favourite clothes style: baggy tshirts and shorts >>>>> but thats usually for at home. when i head out ive been layering a baggy tshirt over a white shirt paired with brown pants/jeans off late. layering is one of my favourite styles for sure, the whole academia vibes or the 'teenage dirtbag' style is what i usually go for ig

Favourite music genres: ohhh music here, yeah as i said if its good me likey

Favourite artists: oof long list coming up :]] uhh taylor swift, omar rudberg, the front bottoms, wilbur soot as well as lovejoy>>>, jeff satur my beloved bottom, cavetownnnnnn, conan gray ofc, queen and then uhh mitski

Favourite song(s): i for the life of me cant possibly pick now can i???? BUT rn ive been obsessed with theseee

Favourite fandoms: young royals fandom my beloved, closely followed by mcyt bc that was my firstever proper fandom and fuck yeah for that!!! (still very much into that so les gooo qsmp and tommyinnit my beloved) and well im not really part of any fandoms save for these and rwrb tbf? oh how could i forget!!!! KINNPORSCHE!!!! love that for us

Hobbies: oof uhh reading, writing and playing minecraft or watching cubitos on minecraft probably lmao

Care language you give: i think i usually show my care in the form of words i think? pretty sure yeah

Care language you like to receive: mmmm physical touch <333

Are you an introvert/extrovert/ambivert: ehhh its pretty fluctuating. used to be introverted, getting more and more out of my shell off late. so ambivert it is ig

Morning or night person? again idfk at this point man what even is time anymore fjdksgksfg uhh night person probably tho i like satying up faaar more than i like waking up early

City, country or suburbs and why? uhhhh never really thought about it? idk on one hand i do want the quiet of the country but idk if ill survive with the constant bustle of a city ykn. and never really experienced to much of suburban life except for when i lived in australia for a few months so yeah idk

Favourite time of day and why? that time between like 5-8. the hours go by so quick and hte fucking sunset etc etc

Do you have any religious beliefs(don’t have to answer if not comfortable)? mmm vaguely religious from time to time

What does your ideal family look like to you? again its faaar too much in the future for me to have given it a thought but but ik for sure that ive always wanted kids, so thats the only definitive there

Dream future: mmm im an author lving in a little cottage just surrounded by overflowing love and creativity and nature etc etc. very ruskin bond-esque

Dream place to visit: greece and rome for sureeee. and thenn uh nyc just for the vibes of it ykn also uhh sweden for reasons ;)

Favourite type of nature: mmmm rainforests my beloved. absolutely love the earthy smell and just how fucking alive it is man like >>>>> oh also the fucking hills of north east india. lomls would drop everything and go there again no questions asked. and ofc beaches. be aches are just based

Favourite habitat (eg jungle, desert, tundra etc): mmm i have a special place in my heart for tundras and the savannah idk why. i just love that life fucking THRIVES despite ykn the harsh(er) conditions

How would you describe yourself in 4 words: dumb, enthusiastic, creative and uhhhh complicated

If you could be another thing on earth what would it be: oooo idfkkkk theres just sooooo many options i could literally be a fucking manatee!!!! or a vampire or or a mudskipper!!!!! wait can i be food?!?!?! id be garlic man ajskdsfl the fucking irony of wanting to be both a vampire and a garlic clove oooh id love to be a grapefruit ngl. omg i could be an actual monkey???? id be one of those spider monkeys man so fucking cool. gosh i could just oughhhh creatures and inanimate shit man. so cool

Favourite type of weather: i loveeeee thunderstorms. top tier weather. as long as its not during deepavali. if it rains when im trying to burst my crackers? im sorry but earth can perish /j

If you could travel anywhere right now we here would it be: is my girlfriend's house a valid answer? bc thats where i wanna be right now baksdflsd. uhh idk tbh maybe like oooh i wanna go to puducherry ngl i miss the beachhhh even tho i literally just went like a week ago man. its right here-

Do you have any fears (serious or otherwise): ehhh not as far as im aware. not materialistic ones atleast. ive always had a fear of being forgotten or left behind

Dream job: uhh a writer for sure

Would you be a pirate/vampire/cowboy/astronaut/werewolf/wizard/witch/knight/cryptid and why? VAMPIREVAMPIREVAMPIREVAMPIRE!!!!! i literally get to suck blood in the most homoerotic way possible- what more could i literally ask for ahfjdsflk pirates/knights are a close second tho fucking love them could go on a whole tirade if i wasnt to tired for it

tagging uhh @elblorbo @stygianirondiangelo @foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland @daylightsimon @desi-yearning @altruistic-meme @spaghett-onaplate @mirabel-on-a-bicycle

💜

[videostak]

ya theyre leaving at like 10 rn i am not going to that 6am swap meet. fuck my life ugh... like obv gonna be waken in the middle of the night when they get back ._. srsly can they be considerate of my life for fucking once. like knowing that i do this for work and is my only source of money and then to do something like that on a total whim and try to downplay how it will affect my sleep and morning tomorrow is srlsy making me so pissed.. like the amount of effort i and to an extent my sister will go to to be considerate of others just to have her do shit like this is so infuriating. like literally my job for a record store that needs inventory desperately and i cant fucking go cause of my asshole inconsiderate mom. reaaaaallly great. i mean best case scenario i can drive up to the estate sale tahts supposed to be at 8. id have to leave at liiiike idk 6:30. so probably not that too. should try to go to the other 8:00 swap meet too or the yard sale but starting to feel real uncomfortable abt going to the swap meet cause of all the stuff around that. so annoying for me to plan all this out just for her to shit all over it cause she wants an excuse to get drunk and trauma dump to her cousin and make to put her cousin in a super awkward weird position. sucha  genuinely awful person ugh.... i mean idk i should goo tomorrow but like really dont kno if ill be able to get up in time. idk i think ill still push rly hard ill try to get a coffee tomorrow at mcdonalds and stuf but like idk just so fucking annoyed rn like dude this is literally my job right now that A LOT of things are riding on have some fucking respect and learn when ur making things much more difficult for ppl. what annoys me so much is when i told her that i wouldnt be able to go tomorrow if she went out as late as shes planning to she just tried to go supportingly “ok we’re gonna go at 10 and tomorrow u can go wherever u want and dont worry about it :)” while just ignoring what i said. lol. something abt idk if all parents are like this or if most are but like that level of being so in denial abt everything that u just respond to any attempt at talking things out with this very fake positivity vibe is so awful. like she does it so much whenever something comes up thats a problem and its so annoying. she did it thursday too when i wasnt sure if i was gonna be able to go cause of my dads dog and she ignored what we said and cut us off and went dont worry ill handle it all :) even tho it was like not even clear what she would be “handling” cause she just wanted to get us to stop talking abt it.  like not even aware of how my dad lets the dog in without warning and how the cats and the dog need to be watched cause he’ll start playing rough. like idk what to even do when ppl genuinely just do not listen to anything u tell them at all. theres no reason for me to tell her something before hand cause she’ll just do whatever the fuck she originally intended to and then try to “discuss” it or apologize after even if youve already had a what u thought was productive conversation days before abt it. like on the first weekend i drove to the swap meet i had told her before i was gonna let the dogs in the back right i went to let her kno beforehand and she agreed there was no argument no even hint at there being a disagreement so i thought things were good and then when i actually was gonna leave she was like no dont let them out theyll bark its too early and i had to get my sister to get her to agree to let them out. like srlsy sooo annoying same thing happens A LOT when having to schedule things shell be in complete agreeance and then when the time comes to do smthn she will like bring up something out of nowhere that she def knew b4 hand  but was just waiting to bring up last second. like she’ll say we should schedule smthn for the vet on a day and then reveal that the vets actually closed that day when that day actually comes etc. or will lie and say it is. like i need to take the cats to the vet soon cause cassettes worms are still present and dendy needs to get neutered and she said she’d call monday even tho its smthn shes already been lagging on for a long time so im just like waiting to see what excuse she’ll bring up then or if she actually does intend to call. like she could bring up an excuse or just spend the whole day in her room and ignore it when i bring it up. ughhh well i will try to go tomorrow i think. i mean im gonna shave and shower just incase i do. i dont think ill wear shorts tho not rly feeling it atm since i could be nervous if i do go to the yard sale. but willl rly have to see

[frostbite-the-bat]

goofy ass ms paint werewolf eating a mango as a divider between the rant under this bc i do not wish to be precieved rn but i still wanna rant some thoughts out

random lovely guzma urge to delyeet everythin on myne site bc not only did i make it for petz things back when i was active between petz folks and got some encouragement there and ended up never finishing petz things for it, but i also feel horrible and uncommited for it being hosted and made on weebly and for bein too lazy to yeet my shit over to neocities just cause that shit gives me a headache and instead of getting inspired by people i feel jealous and unwelcome

also been working on my sleep schedule its a bit better now and im like. better in general now..? idk how long i can keep this up but getting up early makes me just. so tired like all day urgh i do not understand how i used to keep myself up when this tired. tired tired. brain empty. hard to do shit for long. defo needs more breaks but i swear to god everything feels like its frying my brain but i got nothin to do indoors. guess i can go draw traditionall but i end up putting such high expectations on myself i just yeah. fuck it up. get stressed. not fun. i need to stop thinking about others bc i keep thinking i put effort into smthn i need to show it off.like if i wasted time here i might as well. no this isnt showable it sucks damn it

even stuff i do draw purely for myself as self indulgent shit i go urhh this aint right

oh and then i try doin a lil excercise so im not like. physically diyng but my god that tires me out like instantly. but its okay, baby steps.

dont know what sort of place i am in mentally. the type id prolly spiral a bit over if it werent nice and 2 pm. wacky stuff. i wanna maybe do some stuff but ugh my brain just. isnt big thoughts when im tired. but honestly when am i not tired. and i am getting art done but i cant get myself to draw all day again ill end up in pain again my hand rn already is being a bit of a bitch

uhhh played pokemon in the morning but i need better pokemon already. i fuck up every raid (raids i need so i can get better mons easier) (and my shiny ralts i want easier)

hmm maybe i need a break from stuff but what kinda break what even is relaxing in my case? and "break from people" is a slippery slope of self isolation i always slip into. bit difficult to figure myself out

also, different thing, but ive been considering this for a good few months now and kinda ignoring it but i read one (1) thing and i m intrigued to do more n more research now but man do not like how moral ocd clicks perfectly with a lot of my most common issues . so i guess thats a thing to consider going into (like research) . if it helps .bc dear god i am Sensitive

but uhmmm yea sleeping better now ig like i went to sleep around ONE. my usual sleep time was 5-6 am a while ago !!!!!!! 1 am has always been my kinda usual time. man and i used to do that even when i had school and i *functioned* with less sleep. how did i do that. uhm. not well i guess

but yeah. things.. arent feeling right and i kinda wanna wipe my brain. also the neocities thing seems to be a part of my issue of (ppl who dont care abt me) r gonna thingk i suck bc i dont do (this that i find difficult) (coding) i will be exploded forever and shunned andhated

uhmmm what else yea last thought i forgot as i was gonna type it and the last thing i am deciding not to share anyway bc Shame so hooray

guy who is eeypy tired

i am just realizing how like tired i am but if i go nap ill make it worse so uhmm cope i guess lmfao at least it keeps me going to sleep at a more regular hour but like srsly brain we got around 8 hours of sleep why are you tired we used to get less and function fine. maybe not as good but we functioned

[just-some-random-blogger]

good morning, love! have a good week! omg this cat so TT i love him TT 'subs? is this youtube?' no TT tumblr followers here TT 'i dont know what you mean' this is my twitter personality taking charge. like? idk? when i see smn with a user picture talking with a blogger(?) i unintentionally expect this person to make some posts too? part with viserys sounds logical. it wasnt like i completely didnt understand what happened, i had some thought but yeah, its somehow unclear. 'ive watched 3 episodes for doctor who!' but not bc of me! 'i’ll only watch 1 ep' ofc! yes! i absolutely believe you! 'BUT THAT WASNT HIS FAULT' well its HIM who asked for this magic to be done. i appreciate how you like my ideas TT iim flattered TT such an honour TT thanks my love TT i love you TT hugs for my best cutie<з 'MANS ABOUT TO SAY MY QUEEN IN HIS VOWS ON MIC WITH THE SPEAKERS ON MAX' HGHDJFHGJ I LAUGHED SO HARD. YES!! absolutely him youre soso right. ig aemma even would be his evil bestie in in screaming 'yes! slay boy!' while the real queens husband, vissy, is like 'wtf guys! TT daemon ill kill u TT' 'what am i a potato' no never TT youre my beloved catmom, sibling, classmate, the one whos got the other part of our big brain cell TT but yk what i mean. im not a popular person and id even say many people dont like me. i dont have a lot people whod miss me or will get attached to lots of people if i really lived for eternity. 'hug you so tight' aww my love for you makes me want to hug you. youre so sweet TT 'little by little you will see how evil i will be' .... ok well see and after the last part ill tell you if its more evil than the worst ending i made up in my mind after like.. reading the first... and also! itd be so interesting to see vissys I and rhaenyras and everyones reaction to what happened back then. 'aemond be like😵‍💫' ok are we making both brothers suffer? sgfngkjf. i say we (sorry if anything i dont mean it to sound? arrogant? its your fic, im not taking any credits) bc well if you like this idea... no but it must be SO painful to investigate your crushs love story and learn more and more about what you cant have it? esp with how poetic and romantic this story is? 'i hope i dont ACTUALLY WRITE 10 parts' pray for your poor soul bc with what were talking abt it takes even more than 10 parts TT 'WHY ARE YOU MESSAGING ME DURING THOSE LATE-EARLY HOURS' bc i sleep when its actual day.... 'it’s also a meme here' omg what meme? can you tell me its backstory? so cute to be the part of it. and yyyooure cuter my hottie-cutie <з okok ill answer the love letter later and... how do you feel abt some modern aegon? not from this au. im glad youre fine and everythings ok. hope your school wont be too harsh this week either! good luck my lovie! have a nice day and week and all! got some cold kisses from me to not burn in your hell of weather!! love you! take care<з

i ate two ensaymada and now my head hurts help me

ensaymada in question. my grandma gave me two and i ate both but theyre so rich and sweet and i love them but also hate them rn T_T

or maybe its the heat T_T

i went downstairs to get more water i felt the coolness and felt a little better

update im not better

im sorry i can only zoom through this rn

have a good week!

claiming this

omg this cat so TT i love him TT

<3

'subs? is this youtube?' no TT tumblr followers here TT

? im so confused

'i dont know what you mean' this is my twitter personality taking charge. like? idk? when i see smn with a user picture talking with a blogger(?) i unintentionally expect this person to make some posts too?

????? I DONT GET IT HELP its fine you dont have to explain it

part with viserys sounds logical. it wasnt like i completely didnt understand what happened, i had some thought but yeah, its somehow unclear.

<3 im glad its logical

update my head hurt even more so i put this reply off and zoomed through my homework

update update i wanted to vomit but i guess i was hungry and i feel better now that i ate???

'ive watched 3 episodes for doctor who!' but not bc of me!

ASHAHFASF >: lol what do you want me to watch, you didnt even say anything!

'i’ll only watch 1 ep' ofc! yes! i absolutely believe you!

T_T /: i feel like i wont watch it at all my head is dead but i already promised so

'BUT THAT WASNT HIS FAULT' well its HIM who asked for this magic to be done.

AS:FHASFA NO ur so right it is his fault 😞😐 men (derogatory)

i appreciate how you like my ideas TT iim flattered TT such an honour TT thanks my love TT i love you TT hugs for my best cutie<з

'MANS ABOUT TO SAY MY QUEEN IN HIS VOWS ON MIC WITH THE SPEAKERS ON MAX' HGHDJFHGJ I LAUGHED SO HARD.

as you should im hilarious

YES!! absolutely him youre soso right. ig aemma even would be his evil bestie in in screaming 'yes! slay boy!' while the real queens husband, vissy, is like 'wtf guys! TT daemon ill kill u TT'

AEMMA WOULS SO BE HIS SUPPORTIVE BESTIE and viserys would so be a wounded pup about it T_T HAHAHAH

'what am i a potato' no never TT youre my beloved catmom, sibling, classmate, the one whos got the other part of our big brain cell TT

but yk what i mean. im not a popular person and id even say many people dont like me. i dont have a lot people whod miss me or will get attached to lots of people if i really lived for eternity.

does it matter if a lot of people like you anyway? no. no it doesnt. you dont need a lot of people. also i would miss you. i like you. i would be so sad if i knew you were a lonely eternal being

'hug you so tight' aww my love for you makes me want to hug you. youre so sweet TT

'little by little you will see how evil i will be' .... ok well see and after the last part ill tell you if its more evil than the worst ending i made up in my mind after like.. reading the first...

ok then we'll see HAHAA

and also! itd be so interesting to see vissys I and rhaenyras and everyones reaction to what happened back then.

well rhaenyras a baby but i think viserys cos he super superstitious would more likely believe yn quicker compared to his bro. i think aemma would too. and daemon would be like, aw thats so sweet baby girl but theres only one daemon and thats me everyone else is inferior /:

'aemond be like😵‍💫' ok are we making both brothers suffer? sgfngkjf. i say we (sorry if anything i dont mean it to sound? arrogant? its your fic, im not taking any credits)

you can say we. we will make them suffer (:

bc well if you like this idea... no but it must be SO painful to investigate your crushs love story and learn more and more about what you cant have it? esp with how poetic and romantic this story is?

SO REAL YOURE SO REAL FOR THAT and to be honest, i think aegon would take it worse compared to aemond cos aemond would be all sciencey and scholarly about it but aegon would use his feelings and just cry about it omg the start of his alcoholism arc T_T NAUR

'i hope i dont ACTUALLY WRITE 10 parts' pray for your poor soul bc with what were talking abt it takes even more than 10 parts TT

i refuse. i will kill reader if we make it past p5 HAHAHAH

'WHY ARE YOU MESSAGING ME DURING THOSE LATE-EARLY HOURS' bc i sleep when its actual day....

L. ur so L for that BOOOO TOMATO TOMATO 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅

'it’s also a meme here' omg what meme? can you tell me its backstory? so cute to be the part of it.

well it started with this one celebrity named maine 'manifesting' her husband with a tweet. like before she was famous she tweeted the name of her husband, oh lol i mean fiance, the dudes name is arjo and he;s also a celebrity, so maine was like 'arjo cutie' then years later when she got famous they ended up together and now its like smth you say when you wanna manifest something like... 100% grades cutie, 100000$ cutie, ya feel HAHAHH

and yyyooure cuter my hottie-cutie <з

why thank you <3 ur cuter tho

okok ill answer the love letter later and... how do you feel abt some modern aegon? not from this au.

... im interested .... 👀

im glad youre fine and everythings ok. hope your school wont be too harsh this week either! good luck my lovie! have a nice day and week and all!

YOU TOO MY LOVE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

got some cold kisses from me to not burn in your hell of weather!! love you!

💀🧊💀🧊💀🧊💀 thank you but its not hell cos i would assume hell has no relief and i eventually get relief so <3 I GOTTA STAY POSITIVE OR ELSE I SUFFER MORE

take care<з

i love you. my head hurts again so i think i might sleep but idk im still digesting T_T i love you bye

xxx

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[realmadridx14]

Vent to us queen 👂🏻

Me about to answer this ask in all asterisks bc deep down i dont actually want random people to know my trauma

Anyway the gist of it is:

My *** absolutely hates my *** and will do anything to make *** fail including waste all *** money, and now each of them is bitching to me about the other and like i shouldnt be my ******* therapist but i guess being the only **** does that to you and i am tired also of my *** specifically bc *** keeps finding ******** in ** like first it was ****** then it became ***** next it'll probably be ******* and i'm so tired i'm genuinely considering just marrying any random person just to leave this fucking place

[safetycar-restart]

Hiiiii lemon here, gonna drop a somnophilia ask in beforehand (and hope it doesnt get lost in the fanmail lmao) if thats alright bc im gonna be travelling around that time and will likely be in no shape to send it in then (its v exciting but its so stressful i swear im going crazy i wont be surprised if i turn into a motherfucking banana before this is over. A banana anon. Abanananan. If this doesnt characterise the chaos my life is rn i dont even know) (oh crap the banana is taken already. Am i a hybrid? Lemonana? Balemon? Banamon? It looks like a banana and then you take a bite and surprise surprise its evil?? I dont know i should get to the ask prbly)

So idk if this is weird actually but i was thinking seb getting to play with you while youre asleep instead of the other way around? 

I mean, he is an early riser and sometimes he would wake up unbearably horny. It starts out as him cuddling up to you, kissing your neck maybe, nuzzling into your shoulder insistently, and he always shakes you awake when he cant wait any longer because he would never do anything without your explicit permission. 

And some morning he shakes you awake, and you swing an arm lazily around his neck and tell him he can go on, so now he is grinding against your hip, and it’s so nice—it’s a steady pace that’s almost lulling, and you’re warm and happy and have your favourite boy here with you who is so cute when he is needy, and it’s not like you were fully alert in the first place, so you start to drift back to sleep. 

He stops and shakes you awake again.

The problem is, you really don’t want to wake up yet.

“What’s the matter, love, do you need something?” you mumble, and he hides his face into your shoulder guiltily, realising he isn’t letting you sleep when you probably want to. But what if you want him to stop or something and you can’t because you’re asleep? You hum and settle more comfortably against the pillows. “Wake me up if you want to come, but not earlier than in half an hour.”

It turns out to be pretty fun—most of the fun being how into it he unexpectedly is. Because you trust him with this? You trust him to be a good boy and do everything right while you’re not watching him, but also trust him with your body so completely? 

He is not allowed to come until you wake up and give him explicit permission, but other things may vary: sometimes you will tell him beforehand that everything is fair game but he cant wake you up before your alarm goes off (otherwise he doesnt get to come for the rest of the day), or that he isn’t allowed to touch you, only help himself. 

Initially the main rule sounds something like “no orgasms while i’m asleep” and he is puzzled by it. Turns out, the question is, should he wake you up if you’re about to come? You don’t think there is much use in this rule, surely you’d wake up if you were that close, but you keep it anyway—and turns out the little shit can be extremely sneaky when he wants to, and not a little bit smug about it, too. So sometimes you wave the rule on yourself. As a treat.

With love, 

Lemon 💜🍋

p s hope everyone is having a fun kinktober the 15th, will look at what yall were up to as soon as i can! 💕✨🥰

Okay so lemon sent this ask a while ago and I have been counting down the days until somno day because this ask is fucking AMAZING. Lemon you are an absolute genius this is incredible.

Also lemon, we need a travel update. I assume you've gone insane, but we need to know the level of insanity. Update us!! We require a debrief.

Okay anyway, back to seb somno!

Before you came along, seb never really woke up horny after he was like 15. But then he gets into a relationship with you and suddenly he's waking up horny all the time? Like his body is aware that he's next to you and knows you'll make him feel good.

And of course, you love waking up to a horny seb, and love being woken up by a horny seb even more. Because the times when Seb wakes you up himself are just the best. He's so painfully hard, whining into your ear and finally shaking you awake because he cant take it anymore.

Being able to grind against you feels so nice. Not just because it's getting some much-needed friction, but also because he feels so warm and safe? He can can cuddle into your side, head resting against your shoulder as he grinds against you.

But then you fall back asleep and seb panics?

I also think it would take seb a minute or two to realise that you've fallen asleep? Because he's just so wrapped up in how good it feels to drag his hips against you in the warmth and comfort of the bed.

And then he looks up at you to get a kiss and realises that you've fallen asleep? Seb panics so much.

Because he doesnt know when you fell asleep. What if he's been grinding against you and you fell asleep basically the moment you said he could?

He feels so bad. He has no idea what to do, but he's also still so hard and not moving his hips against you feels like absolute torture because now he knows how good it feels.

So he shakes you awake, because he figures if he's going to get in trouble, then he should own up to it. That's one of his rules: he must always tell you if he's been bad and if he's honest with you, he'll get a lighter punishment (you have never needed to punish him, but he insists that you have rules for that).

So he shakes you awake, and you're very confused.

"Close to cumming?" you ask him, still half asleep. You assume he's woken you because he needs permission to cum.

"No..." he mumbles, "you fell asleep, and I.. I didn't know so I kept on going."

Now you're even more confused.

"Yes?" you say, "I told you that you could? Seb, why would you think you'd get in trouble for doing something I gave you permission for?"

"Cause you were sleeping," he explains, "you weren't... you didn't know?"

You roll over to face him, cupping his jaw, "You're my good boy. I know that you'll always follow my rules, even when I'm asleep, and I know that you'd never hurt me. So you can grind against me when you wake all hard and achy, yeah? You're a good boy, and good boys get to do that."

Seb cries at your words, shuffling closer and hugging you tight because he cant he gets to have this, cant believe you trust him with something as precious as your body.

From there, he gets more used to it. He understands he's always allowed to grind against you, that he can get pleasure like that for as long as he wants until your alarm goes off. And he knows that when you wake up, you'll always let him cum.

It's actually him that asks about him touching you while you're still sleeping. Cause he wants to make you feel good?

You're open to the idea, and you know he'd never hurt you.

Seb loves it so much! Even more than grinding against you, just settling between your legs and licking you for a little while is the perfect way to start the morning.