#ugh... great day.... the best....
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I am so fucking sick of living with my roommate and his fuck ass boyfriend. Also watching my roommate burn every single one of his (already rather minimal, I might add) bridges for this guy is also kind of painful but also his relationship with me is one of said bridges so I'm almost past the point of even feeling bad for him lmao
#i have had to piss for probably the better part of an hour now#because they decided to take a shower together and have been in there for well OVER an hour now#and this is a nightly occurence atp sometimes MULTIPLE times a day#we have one bathroom.... can yall not be considerate enough to not be in there for up to TWO HOURS AT A TIME???#also it's such a waste of fucking water....#idk we've hit a point where i literally hear the bf doing anything and i get pissed off#but also tell me why i'm sitting in my room (which shares a wall with the bathroom) and i can hear this man hacking and spitting shit up#and this is also something that happens multiple times a day#like.... dude.... why are you spitting up toothpaste so fucking loudly oh my fucking god#but yeah no i'm like my roommate's only friend atp and he's about to not have me lmao like we're about to reach#'i'm cutting you off when i move out' levels of me being pissed off with this whole situation type shit#and apparently the bf convinced him to come out to his family which his mom was chill which is good#his dad's side of the family though....? not great. and my roommate KNEW that would be the case cuz we'd talked about it before#also love that my roommate has constantly talked about moving out of the city we live in because he hates and also there's no good career#opportunities for him here (which is true)#and now. MAGICALLY. he's like 'idk i think it'd be best for me to stay here'#like oh my GOD???? are you hearing yourself???? are you fucking stupid???? you fucking hate it here???#but sure throw your life away and ruin all your meaningful relationships for a guy you met six months ago jfc#and the thing is i *know* my roommate we've been close CLOSE friends for nearly a decade now#i know he is not like this.... like yeah he's being insane by allowing this but also i know these aren't the kinds of decisions he would ma#and also i know he wouldn't treat me like this all on his own#it's the deranged fucking control freak of a guy he decided to date and my roommate has too many of his own issues to put his foot down#about certain things and tell the guy no so he's just allowing him to completely take over his life#and fuck everything up until the bf is the only thing he has left once it's all said and done#and yeah. it's painful to watch. but also wtf am i supposed to do because obviously my opinion is not respected nor wanted regarding this#that has been made PAINFULLY clear#ugh this is so fucking horrendous#what is it with ppl who start to date someone and then go clinically fucking insane and destroy their lives all for this one person#who. realistically. they barely know in comparison to all the other ppl in their life#like explain it to me jfc
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curled up by the fire, tail waggin
#long day puppies in my phone long day#so so tired i dont have class tmr cos lecture not there so i get to sleep in yay but i wake up early anyways woah just dont Have to be up#going to try meet a friend because i feel like i havent seen anyon outside of college in months even tho its been 2 weeks#this old friend if mine kinda lowkey ditched me when he got a bucnh of new friends like 2 yesrs ago and hes been reaching out a lot to try#hangout and like hm im hurt abiut how he dropped me and he like genrally wasnt a great friend anyways:/ but i feel bad being kike i cant#hang but i also amnt even lyin genuinely cant hang i havent seen my best friend in so long i only see college and my home and therapist once#but also like ugh i dont like this guy i need him to not be beggin me to hang he could be reslly mean like too often but he was nice ..ugh#i wish there was a chill bot harsh way to cut domeone out like i dont hate u i just dont love u soz#and i love my friends so so deeply like i only have time for my besties who i would est whole if i could pike the way people talk about#their blorbo from my shows is how i feel talking about my friends like i want to squish them and poke em n kiss em their my little loves#so if i dont even like someone idk like i dont have time for people j dont love or who dont give a shit about me#hashtag being autistic and my 3 close friends are all also auttistic genuinly the 3 of them got diagnosed in the past 4 yesrs..dominos#i miss my friends wailing college too busy i miss my babies#n i feel really bad for not wanting to hang with this guy who litersllybdidnt care if i lived or died like a year ago#but now is all about me strangely#anyways hm will possible rant more ive had such a long day and nowmim currles on pillows in a bjg hoodie and its so good
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ugh there it goes
#our promotion 😢😢#1st place is gone#today was tough our opponents were all way better than us#we only won 1 match out of 6#now they're leading our league well we should at least win our last matchday and get 2nd place#the no1 seed was in another league from ours 6:0 6:0 altough she's quite a good player at our club#we only won one doubles match altough they were not as good by far as their other players#and all the matches were quite one sided they were also way higher rated than us#i also lost my match 😫 altough it was quite close actually but that is even worse sometimes idk#i certainly could have won idk why i didn't i mean there were not many chances but they were there#i lost 5:7 4:6 ugh 😭#maybe with a better serve i would have won#but i was 5:4 up and i didn't win that point like that's when you have to be there and make it#i think this might just be one of my weaknesses i'm really good at conebacks and believing in that i'll win but i have to be more effective#and 'cold' when it matters sometimes i'm quite wasteful with my chances#i often make the craziest most difficult shots which are 'impossible' to get back but then fail at the easiest one's#especially in the crucial moments maybe i should play it safe more and be more patient#nah but winning that first set would have changed everything because 3rd sets are more likely to be my advantage with my speed and fitness#and in the 2nd i was just always one behind i always caught up but never went ahead#my serve also wasn't really there today and my 2nd serve is still too weak opponents take advantage and if i have a bad 1st serve percentage#like today it makes it difficult to win my own serve and i also made many double faults (4) 😕#i aced her once tho 🤪#but my serves are sometimes great but very inconsistent dependent on the day (the 2nd one always bad)#my backhand also wasn't as good as usualy i hit a lot of them out but it got better altough then i took many with my forehand which worked#and my opponent had riddiculous stops they wouldn't go up the ground again 🫠#and she was so good at net and also whenever i went there she'd pass me or lob me 😅#i gave up doing that very soon my best shot at this was just hitting winners and hitting balls deep to her forehand#i succeeded at that a couple of times but it was not enough#i mean i didn't play badly but what a shame#she was very nice though and very fair it was a pleasant match and she told me she was the best opponent she encountered in the league
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#been watching one piece again from the beginning and am having a great time#but it can be difficult at times bc god the racist caricatures that are some character's design are just 😭😭#usopp is still my fave and forever will be ❤#everytime he goes through a ''i must be brave❗❗'' mini arc i just start crying#bawling through the whole arlong arc ofc when luffy puts his hate on nami ugh#love straw hat dynamic sm 😭💘💞💘💟#also appreciating sanji's character so much more than i did back in the day#the world's greatest simp we love to see it ❤#love that he and usopp display emotional intelligence#also forgot how much of a dumb ass zoro is and that is super funny to watch#also also really appreciate the complexity of nami's character#her relationship with nojiko is so sweet too ugh ugh#ALSO LOVE NOJIKO'S CHARACTER DESIGN she is so gyaru❗❗❗#and luffy as a protagonist is just the best#every shounen main character should be some kinda autistic or what's the point
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Also - Gav? Is my favorite, I adore him so freakin' much. ;~;
#Gav? 10000/10#best boy right there#I'm replaying again and just UGH i love Gav sm#Hi hello! i hope everyone's having a great day / night :)#✦ 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘬𝘰𝘯𝘴; 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦 [ OOC ]#someone tell me not to make a gav blog#i just got here#i haven't even had this blog for a week smh
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should i just indulge and write angst today
#i have an idea ive been spinning for a few days now#i finally have a solid setup for it so. i could do it#and i dont feel great which is when my angst is at its best cause its easy to tap into my emotions when im like that lol#but also i have so many other wips i should work on ugh#help#night is an absolute mess on main
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btw i think one of the most impt hobbies in the world is having a mostly non-existent, mostly self indulgent crush on a professor/lecturer just to zone out to their classes to and focus instead on their hair and their hands and their dark circles speaking NAWT from experience. maybe a little bit.
#yeah he's got me a lil crazy i was doing dishes this morning thinking abt all the things i still have to do this week#bc we have his exam on friday and im trying to determine whether i should try to do some prep work or just leave it for the day of#& i was just thinking abt like. oh he's so fucking precious he like actively took the time over winter break to memorise the names of#the people who consistently show up to class and like its cause he's sweet and wants to eventually teach more focussed smaller groups#but like my man my absolute angel you have accidentally stumbled upon the number one surefire way to make people wanna keep coming to class#like his classes r great but mostly i like that he knows who i am#and like i was thinking abt like. we were talking abt language in art movements like dadaism and i asked if he'd read embassytow#-n and he said he hadnt but that he had a list of student recs i'd be on and then in a later class i asked if he read fever dream and he#like made the joke that he'd have a section in his list of just things i told him to read#You Dont Understand I Need This Man Carnally. THIS is what one direction meant when they said thats what makes u beautiful#fuck me i hope he has this effect on the ladies cause if not hey babe there's a whole world out here for you ready to be explored#its also jst funny bc we r genuinely all afflicted by this tragic desire of him i think its partially bc his classes r a little boring#again love him to bits he does try his best its just rly surface level shit because it has to be within the nature of his classes#anyway. convincing myself not to fail his class on purpose so i can retake it next year its going poorly#also just had like a rly long convo w him after class once and he's just. URGH SO SWEET IM LEAVING. IM GOING AWAY NOW.#dreamboy... ugh ! AND he's a poet professionally !!!
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Asagiri coming to anime expo when I can’t go see him because it’s all the way across the country + the pandemic + my health is shit rn....... combined with the fact that AX is one of the most unpleasant cons ever and he’s bound to be bombarded with the worst side of the twitter fandom....... might just be one of the cruelest things fate has ever done
#i'm so upset#so........ upset....... it's not fair........... i want to see him....... i want to tell him how much bsd means to me#i want to tell him how much dark era and oda and dazai mean to me#i want to ask him questions#i want him to have a good experience#but i fear he won't#he's already harassed so much on twitter every day#i want to cry i hate this#HE DESERVES ONLY THE BEST#HE NEEDS TO KNOW HOW SPECIAL HIS STORY IS#iseyama had a great experience at nycc#why couldn't he have come there instead UGH#i'm so scared and so devastated 😭💔
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Just found an old diary from when I was a kid. Most depressing shit I've ever read oh my fucking god
#:((((#It was from when I was in the wildest fucking friend group ever?#I was in fights every day#And MAN it made me remember how when we were emotionally dysregulated as kids (which kids are a lot. Esp if it's autistic kids) we weren't#always helped in the way we needed. Like mom tried her best and when she was feeling good she did a great job. But often times she wld just.#also get dysregulated and we'd all spiral together#That fucking sucks. The fact that that also continuously happened in the last year. :( fuck dude#It really makes me sad and angry. Thinking abt how mom has always had periods where she was unable to be an emotionally reliable parent#Sad and angry for her but also for us#Esp angry for the fact that it was happening so much in the last year#And the only way it got better (in my eyes) is bc i made it clear I didn't want her coming to me w her emotions#Which fucking sucked but it had to happen bc it was tearing everyone apart#Ugh. Blegh.#We're all good now. But. :(((#Sad
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Is it covid, random ick, or c0k3 drip? Who knows!
#txt#op#honestly like. well i'm testing for covid and flu rn and theyre coming out negative so yay#but i just dont feel all that great. i cant remember if this also happened to me the last times i did snow too#bc ive only done it 3 times now#and i vaguely remember not feeling too great the day after those times either#i just hope im not sick. like honestly best case scenario is it's just drip#i also wanna test this batch for m3th once i get my hands on a marquis test kit bc something felt very off#i got super paranoid and tweaky immediately. like i test everything for f3nt but i dont have a regent test yet#and even all my other fellow snow sniffers who tried this batch were like yeah it just felt weird#so. not doing it again#honestly i dont even like snow i was just feeling really manic and spirally yesterday so i really regret it tbh#probs never gonna do it again??#but still gonna keep the baggie to test it bc if it DOES test pos for m3th then i need to tell my friend asap#because i get my stuff from her and she gets it from her longtime plüg and if its cut with fucking m3th then she would want to know#ugh i hate being a drug user#life was so simple before i started doing like powder substances#i wish i stuck to weed and psychedelics#but anyways. didnt i say i was trying to talk less about drugs? and try to do more w my life? lol. im getting there!!! promise!
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i worry a lot about some transfems and its not me trying to be like "im better than you" or some shit its bc some of them remind me of me when i was a kid and new into being considered a girl/woman and being really naive thinking people would treat me better than they would- like i knew people were gonna be shitty but i wasnt prepared for the sheer amount of dehumanization and being reduced to just a sex object... idk... I just want some of you out there to be careful...
#ik its hard to convey tone and emotion through text but i do really worry.#im sure people have felt the same way about me being new into being considered a guy too. Ik i wasnt prepared for how emotionally distant#guys can be. and how like. atomized we all are and how a lot of guys only know how to interact with the world through violence and#being a dick and .-. basically how a lot of guys are just bullies. idk.#i think if we have experiences that we think we can help others by sharing them and maybe preventing them from making the same mistakes#as us then we should share them yknow. idk.#for me at least it does in some ways feel like im a little kid again learning what its like to navigate a new social setting.#like i didnt realize how much playing pvp games with cis guys suck and ppl who grew up with that are just like. 'yeah. thats just how it is#im literally playing wow rn and playing on a pvp server and i literally never attack anyone sdhjdshjvvfd and ppl are just like.#dicks for NO REASON. im LITERALLY RUNNING AWAY. ugh#i get it dude! this is the only way you can feel like you have a big dick but cmon. you gotta accept the truth some day#^and having to learn to talk like that has been something ive had to adopt from dealing with cis dudes. fun#some transfems i want to grab by the shoulders and shake and be like 'DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF'#with a desperate plea in my gaze#'I WANT TO PROTECT YOU BUT I ALSO KNOW PPL HAVE TO LEARN SOME SOCIAL SHIT ON THEIR OWN BUT BY GOD ARE THERE#SOME THINGS I REALLY DO NOT WANT YOU TO HAVE TO FUCKING LEARN ABOUT THAT I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER AND#IS UNFORTUNATELY LIKELY TO HAPPEN TO ANY WOMAN'#why am i becoming a parent. i need to stop. problem is i care too much about people in spite of what ppl might think .-.#i worry so much thats why i yell at ppl online bc i dont want them to get hurt or do something to fuck themselves over idk.#i just... dont express it the best way. like a gym coach or something 🤦#i really am Dad Vibes now huh. how do i stop myself from becoming a dad. i dont even have kids.#well. i have a cat. the eternal rebellious teen. but still#i need to stop expressing my care and fear through anger. its not great. ppl misinterpret me too much w it. but im not mommy enough to#sugarcoat things and coddle people if i feel like thats whats happening. so idk.#i realize this might sound patronizing and im not trying to be at all. to transfems with more experience this is like 'duh' to them probabl#but I'm more talking to the young transfems I see online who seem like they dont go out much and i dont blame them at all for it#its fucking scary out here. especially as a woman. esp as someone alt righters fetishize. and im sorry.
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Car didn't pass its inspection. Hmm... We'll see what the mechanic says about how much it'll cost to fix, and after that we'll see if I still have a car or not.
#personal stuff#it costs money to own a car (parking-space + insurance) and like... i'm not really going to be using it? mostly?#it's a VERY nice option to have. and i don't really want to give that up. but also like... i'm not made of money.#so we'll see if the price is like ''the full value of the car'' or if it's just ''oof''#and after that? i'll have to make a decision about it. and mayhaps i'll be poorer or mayhaps i'll be out a car.#soooo. that's a stress-inducing thought. even if i'm not really planning on using it? mostly?#(if i decide to get rid of it i still have a month to do so. so i can run some errands that i've been postponing before that.)#but yeah. i'm really hoping that it doesn't come to that. it's not the best car. but it works (mostly).#and like... not having to look up time-tables and book tickets and stress about getting there on time and carry cumbersome bags?#it's so fucking nice to have a car. even if it costs money. and i don't really want to give that up.#''public transport-'' yeah. great stuff. if you get more than two trains per day. and can buy a ''use whenever''-card.#neither of those are true. they seem to have discontinued that card for some reason. which is insane btw.#so. ugh. i hate cars on the theoretical level of ''we shouldn't need these things'' but i love them bcs ''we still need them now''
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one of the best albums of all time if i need be honest
#old lady music…. old lady music for people with great taste#his voice on this one is some of his best work it’s so smooth with that slight roughness around the emotional bits of songs#i could talk about never a dull moment for days ugh#💿
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me at 1 am when i have to wake up at like 7:30-8 AM at the latest and partake in an autism assessment appointment when my brain almost never naturally wakes up before like 9:30-10 am and i have medical trauma and prior misdiagnosis triggers acting up in my head and i just got my period and i have endometriosis so im in agony and i start to feel a full blown depressive panic attack coming on even though i've already taken my anti panic medication and also i have adhd and cant get myself to turn on fortnite and play for like an hour to try and de-stress because of all of the above plus executive dysfunction
#dude like. im going to the appt if its the last thing i do i NEED this diagnosis to have any chance of independence in my#adult life ever. its not something i am going to avoid. but holy shit i do NOT have it in me.#i feel so defeated already because like. i am already shutting down in the middle of the night.#i know myself too well in this specific situation and i am not going to provide#a proper case for myself. i will forget all the 27 years worth of proof i have that i am undeniably autistic.#and i will be too in pain and exhausted and terrified to speak for 80% of the appt bcus i've done this before years ago with a different#person. and i tried so hard. and forces out of my control convinced that person that i was overdramatic and didnt know what i was talking#abt. and i cant go through that again. like it will completely break me permanently if im not The Perfect Model Autistic Example this time.#and i am just inherently Not That even on my best communication days. this has to be the last time i do this and im so#scared that i will not be given the diagnosis i need to literally help my life happen as an adult#like. UGH. UGHHHH i physically cannot stop crying im so freaked out and terrifieddddddddddddddddd.#idk how im gonna get through this. one of my moms will be there with me to help at least and#my therapist wrote a really great summary for the dr person presenting a brief history of#how she has seen/heard my autism as my therapist since i was 14. and both of that does make me feel a bit better#knowing i have support and im not alone. but like i truly dont know how im gonna survive this appointment if im already crying and jumping#to worst case scenarios hours and hours before im even there. i dont want to do this i wish i was irresponsible so i could just avoid it#but its too important and i cant do that. im so stressed out idk what to do my brain is like. melting.#....um! anyways.
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a time loop already exists and it’s called college
#pip.txt#-_-#i go to campus everyday compared to all my other semesters which were mostly online#and i go early cause i thought that would give me more time for homework right? right??#nope i’m doing homework pretty much every day and it’s tiresome#it’s getting to the point where i feel completely fried but feel even worse when i take breaks#ugh i want this semester to end….almost out of the forest but right now sucks so much#i have lecture and lab tomorrow and that’ll be a good part of my day -_- dreading it -_-#and the quizzes after..#i always fail them and idk what i’m doing wrong.#i just. don’t feel great. and idk how i’ll get out of it#reminds me junior year where that was all online. surprised i haven’t cried everyday but no i just feel exhausted#message @ the universe: treat me nicer please!!! i’m doing my best!!
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YOU'RE PREGNANT! — JJK MEN
SYNOPSIS...how the jjk men(toji, gojo, geto, nanami, choso) act when you’re 9 months pregnant and ready to pop
INFO...jjk men x fem!reader, fluff, comfort, reader is pregnant (obvi), mention of mood swings, cravings, emotional reader, jjk men being great dads
OTHER...likes and reblogs are appreciated
TOJI
toji has already dealt with this kind of thing before when it came to megumi, but it’s been so long that he’s almost forgotten what it was like. You’re waddling around the house, a stank look on your face as you stare at him. “Yes?” He questions, eyebrows raised. “I want food,” you simply answer. “Okay, what do you want?” He asks. And when you tell him you’re not sure, he lets out a long sigh because he knows this is gonna end in you getting emotional. You’ll complain your back hurts, your feet hurt, and then you’ll end up cursing him out for putting a baby in you. So all he does is walks over to you, and hugs you because he’d rather do that than get into a stupid argument about food. “Toji!” You cry into his arms. “I’m just so hungry and I don’t know what to eat!” You sniffle. To help with your problem, he starts listing off every fast food restaurant and food he could think of in hopes you’d find one appealing enough. “Chinese food?” He shrugs. You gasp with excitement. “Ugh, yes! Me and the baby could go for some orange chicken!” You smile. Toji just chuckles, “making the call right now, sweetheart.” He watches as you waddle over to the couch, smiling like a kid in a candy store.
GOJO
ever since he found out you were pregnant, he was at the stores buying whatever supplies he saw, doesn’t matter if you needed it or not. And till this day, when you’re about a few weeks from popping, he’s still buying the baby things. “What do you think of this, eh?” He smirks, holding up a onesie that says “my dad is the best”. “You’re gonna spoil her rotten, is what I think,” you groan as you reach into the bag to see what else he bought for your daughter. “More toys?” You hold up a fake set of plastic keys. Gojo snatched them from you. “I’ll have you know that she will be learning life skills at a very young age, thank you very much,” he scoffed. All you did was laugh, shaking your head at him in disbelief. Your daughter’s room was filled to the brim with clothes, toys, blankets, you were starting to wonder if you had any more room. “I can already tell she’s going to be a daddy’s girl,” you said with a sigh, rubbing your belly. “Yes she is,” Gojo leaned in towards your very plump belly, “isn’t that right?” He placed a kiss on your stomach.
NANAMI
nanami is the type that doesn’t let you do a damn thing by yourself. You’re reach for something to high on the shelf, he’s sprinting towards you, ready to be at your service. “Be careful,” he says, rubbing your back. “Kento, I got it,” you chuckle. His eyes are always on you, watching your every move. Especially when you’re in public, he hates when people get too close to you. He knows others don’t watch their surroundings and could easily bump into you. “Ken!” You shout from the bedroom. “Yes?” He peeks his head around the corner. “Can you help me get my shoes on, I can’t even reach,” you pout. Within seconds he’s on his knees, slipping on your sandals, and tying them around your ankle. He will even go as far as to paint your toes if you forgot because he knows how much you hate not having them done. Like I said, he won’t let you do a thing by yourself. “Thank you, Ken,” you kiss his lips.
GETO
geto literally pampers you. I’m not saying he acts like nanami, but I’m saying that he makes your pregnancy as comfortable as possible. “Sugu, baby, can you rub my feet? They’re swollen.” You frown. “Of course.” He grabs the lotion and casually massages your feet while you’re both watching a movie, and literally over the course of your pregnancy he’s become the best masseuse ever. He’ll also randomly creep up behind you and wrap his arms around your waist before lifting your belly, feeling the weight off of your back. “Feel better, mama?” He kisses your cheek. “So much better.” You nod, closing your eyes as you embrace the moment. You’ve even found it hard to shower while being pregnant and geto takes it upon himself to help you, albeit jumping in the shower with you or sitting on the edge of the tub while you’re in the bath. “Is the water too hot?” He rubs the soapy water over your shoulders. “It’s perfect.”
CHOSO
I’m sorry but choso is clueless. Not in a bad way, but in like a panicky way. You’re an emotional wreck through your pregnancy, moods swings like crazy. “Can you just get out please?!” You’re annoyed with him, bothered about the littlest thing ever and then in the next two minutes you’re walking out the room just crying and apologizing to him, kissing his cheek. He has no idea what the hell is going on, and you’d think he’d learn after nine months, but no. All he can is just sit there and comfort you. “It’s fine,” he assures. He gets your favorite food that you’ve been craving for the past two weeks, eating it non stop and then within a split second you’re gagging, pushing the food away. “Oh my gosh, Choso! Please throw it away, it tastes so bad.” You gag again. “But…I…you were just eating this yesterday…?” He’s says, confused before throwing the bowl of food in the garbage. Quite literally doesn’t understand anything, just confused to all hell, but he’s trying his best.
#—☆classyrbf#anime#jujustu kaisen#jjk#jjk x reader#toji x reader#nanami x reader#geto x reader#gojo x reader#choso x reader#toji fluff#nanami fluff#geto fluff#gojo fluff#choso fluff#jjk fluff#jjk x reader fluff#toji headcanons#nanami headcanons#geto headcanons#gojo headcanons#choso headcanons#jjk headcanons
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