#i feel so defeated already because like. i am already shutting down in the middle of the night.

[mariska]

me at 1 am when i have to wake up at like 7:30-8 AM at the latest and partake in an autism assessment appointment when my brain almost never naturally wakes up before like 9:30-10 am and i have medical trauma and prior misdiagnosis triggers acting up in my head and i just got my period and i have endometriosis so im in agony and i start to feel a full blown depressive panic attack coming on even though i've already taken my anti panic medication and also i have adhd and cant get myself to turn on fortnite and play for like an hour to try and de-stress because of all of the above plus executive dysfunction

[anisespice]

8:25pm - keisuke baji

note: this is mild angst, it was supposed to be a whole fic but i could never get it to where it didn’t feel...ion know ‘unsatisfactory’? hope you enjoy!

It wasn’t news how much of a handful BAJI could be. But, you loved him, rough edges and all. Unfortunately, sometimes love wasn’t always enough. It was late in the evening, and he had crashed at your apartment after hanging with a couple of his friends. Neither of you were sure how the argument started, but you were in too deep to resolve it civilly.  

“Could you just-!” you pinched the bridge of your nose, trying to ground yourself while Baji sneered from across the room. 

By now, your throat had gone raw from all the talking, and getting nowhere as the brute in front of you kept shutting you down. “Could you just try and see this from my perspective, please? It’s not like I’m asking you to never a throw punch again-”  

“Hm, well that’s funny. Because it sounds like that’s exactly what you’re asking me to do. So, why don’t you do us both a favor, cut the shit, and just admit it.” 

“Admit what?” You exasperated. 

“That you’re ashamed of me.” He shrugged. You gaped at him in disbelief, mouth floundering at his accusation. But, before you had the chance to speak, Baji continued. 

“Don’t even try to deny it, [_____]. We both know after that dinner with your parents, you’ve been moving weird.” 

You sighed, “And how exactly have I been ‘moving weird’?” 

Baji looked at you in disbelief. The ravenette gestured at the space between you, exaggeratedly. “This! This same old, tired argument we keep having! Before that stupid dinner, you never batted an eye whenever I knocked a fucker out his shoes, but after? It’s like that’s all you can focus on. And it’s been months!” 

With a sharp laugh, it was your turn to look at him in disbelief. 

“Can you really blame me? Fighting in front of me is one thing, Keisuke, but you assaulted the waiter in front of my parents! I asked you to do one thing, one, and that was to behave yourself-” 

He scoffed, incredulously. “I tried my damnedest, [_____]. Not my fault that bastard tested his luck ‘nd struck out. He disrespected you, so I taught him a lesson. Thought your parents would’ve been grateful for that, but instead I’ve gotta walk on eggshells because they’re ‘appalled at my behavior’? Fuck outta here.” 

Throwing your hands up in defeat before walking away, you headed for the bedroom with Baji soon trailing behind. At this rate, you’d be going in circles. You didn’t understand why he was so stubborn about this, normally he’d be so open on finding middle ground, but for some reason he’s adamant on putting his foot down for this particular issue. “You just don’t get it…” 

“No, I think I do. Your parents already don’t want you dating some loser with no future, and now I’ve given them another reason to hate me, is that it? Well, news flash for them, [_____], I know who the fuck I am. If your parents can’t see my potential then that’s their loss. But lately, I’m starting to feel like you think they’re right.” 

You stood on your side of the room facing away from him, arms crossed. Tears began welling up in the corners of your eyes, but you blinked them back before they could fall—The last thing you wanted were waterworks distracting you, or him. However, while you were busy steeling yourself, you left his statement unanswered. 

A minute passed...and then, another. 

The silence was loud, almost excruciating for your boyfriend. You weren’t looking, but as time marched on Baji’s shoulders dropped along with his morale. He expected your immediate rebuttal, but now he wasn’t so sure what was going through your head right now; and that terrified him. He took a small step forward, scowl dissipating as the fear settled in his stomach. 

He didn’t like this...Why hadn’t you said anything? 

“[_____]...you don’t...” Baji cleared his throat, eyes practically burning holes into your back. “You don’t think that. Do you?” 

You shakily exhaled, eventually turning around to face him. He flinched slightly at the hurt written behind your eyes, “No, Kei. I don’t. And that’s what you don’t get. You said you tried your damndest that night, yet you still couldn’t restrain yourself. Sure, the waiter was a complete tool, but I didn’t need him to be taught a lesson, I just needed you to keep your promise. And you didn’t.” 

Baji averted his gaze, fidgeting with the strings on his sweats. You continued, “Then, when I asked you to tone down the fighting just a little, you outright refused. Multiple times. And now, you think it’s because I’m ashamed of you? Is that really all you got from our discussions?”

He frowned. “Well, it’s not like you left me much option. I mean, c’mon, what is it then, if not that?”

“Keisuke, I’m not ashamed. I’m disappointed. You’ve proven that no matter what, you aren’t willing to change your behavior, even for me. I never had a problem in the past because there wasn’t a problem to be addressed. Until now. I asked you to do this one thing, and you couldn’t do that. How do you think that makes me feel?” 

Baji became agitated, feeling like a child being scolded. It put him on edge, especially when it came from you. And when the ravenette felt like he was being backed into a corner, he got defensive. His breathing turned heavy, scowl returning to his face as he sneered at you. 

“How do you think it makes me feel, huh? Let’s face it, your parents were never going to accept me, even if I was nothing short of a saint that night! And y’know what, I couldn’t care less what they thought because at least I knew my s/o would’ve had my back. Guess I was wrong.” 

Your jaw practically hit the mattress, gobsmacked. 

“Excuse you? From day one, I’ve always had your back! I stood by your side, no matter what, every single time!” 

“Yeah, but you didn’t that night, did you?” 

Your head wobbled in bewilderment. “What are you getting at?”

“That entire dinner was miserable from the start. On top of you practically begging them to even show up, they shit-talked the second they arrived—The poor choice in restaurant, our dress attire, our relationship, me. And what did you do to stop them?” 

Rendered speechless, you merely looked at him. That’s not fair, you thought. Though he had a hard point, you stubbornly combated it. 

“They’re my parents, Kei. I tried talking to them about it, but y’know how they are. I thought that if we just...had a nice and calm dinner, then they’d-” 

He dryly chuckled, “They’d what? Change their minds? Tch. Right, you and I both know that’s bullshit. Also, love how they get a pass, and I don’t, by the way. That’s real nice, [_____]. Real nice.” 

“Because I expected more from you! Figured you’d be able to handle one night without knocking someone’s teeth in.” You cried, but Baji merely gave a careless shrug. 

“Guess we were both wrong, then.”  

Your arms dropped to your sides as you stood there, body completely drained of any fight that might’ve been left in you. To your dismay, you couldn’t hold the frustrated tears back any longer as they cascaded down your face. You turned away from him as you slumped onto the bed, head hung low as you quietly sobbed. 

It was no use. No matter what you did, no matter what you said, it was always going to be a losing battle trying to get them to see eye to eye. You hated how strained things had gotten from either side, wanting nothing more than for them to just…get along. You loved Baji, and you loved your parents, but it was starting to weigh on you terribly having to be the mediator. 

Baji was stuck; he didn’t think this would drive you to tears. Whenever you had this argument in the past, it would result in him either sleeping on the couch or going back to his apartment after you’ve decided to shelve it for later. The tears were different...and he knew they couldn’t have been a good sign. 

“[_____]-”

“So that’s just it then.” You sniffled, wiping your face with the hem of your shirt—His shirt. You caressed the fabric, more tears falling into your lap as your boyfriend shuffled uneasily. “You won’t change. They won’t change. I’ll just be stuck dealing with constantly being thrown back and forth, having to choose between you, hm?” 

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “No, you don’t have to do that. Look, babe...it’s alright if your folks don’t like me. I can live with that-”

“Well, I can’t, Keisuke.” 

There’s silence once more, even more painful than the last. Baji finally closed the distance between the two of you, immediately kneeling to look into your eyes. You could see the dread in them, but you looked away before it made you feel even worse. He knew your words had more behind them than you let on. 

“What...what are you saying?” 

You slowly blinked at him, exhausted. “Nothing. You need to leave. I’m tired, and I…need to clear my head.” 

He went to gently grab your hands, but you pulled them back at the last second. Holding yourself tightly, you stood and walked toward the bathroom. But, you didn’t get far. 

Hastily, Baji grabbed your wrist and spun you around. He searched your eyes, desperately, “Baby…don’t be like that. Not because of them, not because I’m a stubborn idiot. Please, j-just…” 

“Kei…” you sighed. His grip tightened ever so slightly, not enough to hurt but to where you could feel him trembling. 

“Please don’t quit on me.” 

© 2023-2024 anisespice ッ all rights reserved.   likes, comments & reblogs much appreciated!

[pablopascal]

My Fireflies

New Prompt: Francisco happily observing his family.

Francisco “Catfish” Morales x fem!Reader Warnings: fluff, cursing, cuteness Word Count: 974

Original Prompt: the rest of the boys meet the reader and they teased Frankie because he became soft and adorable. (Pope knows the reader because they grew up together)

A/N: Thanks to my friends Alyssa @myownworstenemyyy and Diana @everything-lost-and-unsaid for this idea. Panchito and poncho are common nicknames for Francisco. Also I’m terrible at Spanish thanks to my dad not teaching me. The full fic won’t be in Spanish. I’m not new to writing, but it’s been a while since I’ve written. My requests are always open so feel free to send an ask in. I answer quickly and you can Private Message me if that makes you more comfortable. Hope everyone like the short drabble!! I am literally dying from cramps but decided to finish this fic that I turned into a drabble. I might actually finish when I am not behind four weeks of assignments. Wish me luck besties!! leave likes reblogs and comments much appreciated loves!!

*DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE*

- You sighed for what felt like the hundredth time in the last ten minutes,”come on Frankie! Hurry up or we’re going to be late.” Frankie and you had been invited to a get together by Pope. You would think Frankie would be the one down in the living room telling you to hurry with him being in the military, but nope he wasn’t.

Frankie is known for always making y’all late to everything, so Pope would understand. Pulling your phone out to kill time knowing Frankie would probably be down in five minutes or more. Who knows with him? You were so focused on the game you were playing that you didn’t hear his footsteps as Frankie walked down the stairs.

He called your name but he got no response, so he walked into the living room to see you slumped on the couch grumply playing on your phone. He smiled sweetly at your grumpy state then walked up behind the couch and slowly wrapped his arms around your shoulders. Also putting his head between your head and shoulder leaving feathery kisses on your neck. He heard you sigh into the kisses, but instead of going further; you pushed him away and turned your head towards him and gave him a look.

“Frankie we can’t. We are already late as it is.” He pouted but it stopped and turned into a smile after you lightly kissed his lips before getting off the couch. He checked you out as you walked over to the key rack, you could feel his eyes on your body as you were grabbing the keys and your wallet. You raised your hand behind your back and flipped him off. Frankie scoffed and giggled at your antics. His eyes followed you as you walked out the door and soon he followed behind you.

Opening the door to the door to your car Frankie sighed “Baby… I can drive. It’s safer.” You looked at him and gave him a look that meant ‘shut up and leave me alone’ then he put his hands up in surrender getting into the car. You slowly got into the car and started it but before taking it out of park you turned your head towards Frankie “I’m okay. Driving isn’t going to hurt us, Panchito. You need to stop being overprotective. I’m a big girl.”

He went to argue and you cut him off by putting your hand on his mouth and raised your eyebrows daring him to say something. His shoulders slouched in defeat “I know, mi amor. I just want you both to be okay,” he said, reaching to rub his hand over your pregnant belly. He leaned over the middle console and kissed your forehead. ”Come on, let's go. We’re going to be late,” he said after pulling away. You scoffed and lightly hit his shoulder, the only reaction you got was his giggles that flowed out of his mouth effortlessly. His giggles continued as you pulled out of the driveway. - Arriving at Pope’s house, you could hear the happy screaming of children from the back yard. Frankie looked over to you with a smile as both walked towards the back gate. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders as you walked into the back yard. Pope heard the close and looked up “Hermano!” Pope yelled, walking over to give his war buddy a hug. They act like they haven’t seen each other in weeks, in reality they saw each other yesterday when he brought Marisol to spend the night with Pope’s little girl.

You walked away more like waddled away from them letting them enjoy their little bromance moment. Pope would hug you when they got done talking, like always. Finding an empty seat to rest your pregnant body, you heard “mam” and felt a force being out around your stomach. You looked down to see Marisol smiling up at you. “Hola, mi vida,” you said to your smiling child, “ Your pops is over there talking to Uncle P if you want to say hi, baby.”

After saying that her head popped up from its spot looking to where her dad was standing. She booked into a run before knocking herself into his legs. Frankie felt the weight on his legs and he looked down to see his little girl. He quickly picked her up and twirled her around. This caused Marisol to go into a fit of giggles and those giggles were followed by Pope’s and Frankie’s hearty laughs. After the giggles subsided, the two men went back to talking like normal. - Eventually the two men came over to where you were sitting. Pope came over to you and brought you into a tight hug, “Hey, little sister. How’s Panchito number two doing?” Pope asked. You looked up at your childhood friend smiling at his antics. “You’re hugging me too tight Santiago. The baby and I are perfectly fine.” He cheekily looked at you and slowly went to put his hand on your growing stomach. At the instant touch the baby started to kick causing Santiago’s smile to grow wider.

Frankie saw the smile on Pope’s face and it reminded him the first time he felt Marisol kick. The joy that spread through his face as he giggled at the new feeling. He knew that Pope and his wife were trying to have another kid but they were having a few problems. Frankie knew that you being pregnant brought some sense of comfort to them. He watched you gleefully with Santiago and his wife, his smile growing wider by the second. He looked over to where his daughter’s laughter could be heard throughout the yard as she was playing with her grandpa. The laughter and chaos of the people he called his family enlightened his world full of bright sunshine.

-

[resurrection-of-soul]

Flashback | PSYCHOBREAK 15

Writer: Akira (日日日)

Characters: Koga, Adonis

Kaoru: It’s been quite a while since you last called me “Playboy.” I never mentioned it, but I don’t actually dislike that nickname or anything. In fact, hearing you politely call me “senpai” is, like, kinda gross~

[ For the best viewing experience, please read directly on my blog! ♪ ]

Kaoru: Okay, okay, settle down~♪ You don’t wanna appear all flustered and uncool, right, you two?

Koga: …!? Hakaze-senpai!

Adonis: Is that you, senpai? I mean, are you two the real deal?

Kaoru: Yup. Sorry we’re late. We heard HELLSING was going on a national tour, but, geez! You kept getting further and further away from ES. Catching up was like, super hard. Right, Rei-kun?

Rei: Indeed. Furthermore, there were other pressing matters demanding our attention, so I was quite concerned we would not arrive in time.

Koga: Even Sakuma-senpai is… Wh-what’re you doing here? Don’t you guys have your own shit to deal with, like those silly variety shows!?

Rei: Naturally, we've already taken care of those matters. We are not prone to such oversight, after all. We anticipated this situation and prepared accordingly, making arrangements with the staff and other performers to record a considerable amount of footage in advance. Thus, there is no great hurry for us to return at the moment.

Adonis: How very like you, Sakuma-senpai. How much of this did you predict?

Rei: Kukuku. I can only foresee a small fraction of what is to come, but even that small piece can sometimes be enough to determine one’s fate. 'Tis for that reason I always ensure my preparations are in order. It is as straightforward as that. No longer do I hate the world, shutting myself away from it within my coffin. To avoid falling into mourning once more, I shall learn from thy example, Adonis, and give my utmost.

Koga: That’s right. Get to work, ya Vampire Bastard~ Don’t just spend all yer time dozin’ off without a care.

Koga: I mean, seriously, man… Ya always make me so damn worried. Because ya hardly move at all, I start worryin’ ya might have gone off n’ died!

Rei: I shan’t die. Being alive is enjoyable, you see. Furthermore, I have come to recognize that you are individuals possessed of rare and noble character who shall not rely solely upon me, but rather attempt to overcome difficulties on your own― Nay, I already knew. I have known it from the very first time UNDEAD stood on stage, and that conviction hath only grown day by day. Therefore, I can rest assured. So long as I am with you all, I am certain I shall never feel that being alive is tedious. That certainty is truly appreciated. I’ve been saved.

Kaoru: Ah geez, as usual, everything Rei-kun says is, like, totally cryptic, so let me give you a concrete explanation. And Rei-kun, in the future, instead of just making vague philosophical statements, you have to make sure to explain things clearly, okay?

Rei: Sure thing, mom.

Kaoru: You just stepped on a landmine on purpose, didn’t you?

Rei: Because I am quite certain you all shall love and accept me no matter what, I can make such jokes with confidence.

Kaoru: I’m gonna kick you. …Anyway, we’re in the middle of a live performance, so I’ll keep things short. Rei-kun and I returned to the dream world. In that dream of the past, we found the mastermind behind this incident…and defeated him. That’s why our fakes are bugging out and on the verge of shutting down, see? The person controlling them was neutralized, so they’ve lost control.

Koga: Huh? What? The hell’re ya talkin’ about, Playboy!?

Kaoru: It’s been quite a while since you last called me “Playboy.” I never mentioned it, but I don’t actually dislike that nickname or anything. In fact, hearing you politely call me “senpai” is, like, kinda gross~ And it makes me feel a bit lonely since it feels so distant. On top of all that, seeing the unruly Koga-kun acting like a good kid is totally off-putting~

Koga: Oh shit, my bad. I’ve been callin’ the fakes “Vampire Bastard~” n’ “Playboy,” so it just kinda slipped out.

Kaoru: Like I just said, it’s fine. Anyways, what’s the problem? Do you have any questions?

Koga: I ain’t got nothin’ but questions…! The hell do you mean, ya defeated the mastermind!? Who even was the mastermind!? We didn’t know jack shit about their identity up ‘til now! This ain’t some cancelled manga! Ya can’t just suddenly defeat some powerful villain off-screen!

Rei: The mastermind ‘twas not truly all that grand of a villain. You see, the culprit behind this incident was just the sort of trivial, insignificant person one can find anywhere. Seeing as he called himself a “vampire,” I shall simply refer to the mastermind as “Dracula-kun” for the time being.

Koga: Not that it really matters what they’re called, but… “Vampire”? That name came up a bunch in our past― or rather, in that dream we had, right?

Rei: Aye. We knew no groups by that name in truth. It is a name which only appears in that distorted retelling of history. I suspected that the mastermind behind this incident would also be the one at the root of that distortion. After all, I rather doubted that the culprit’s only goal was to show us amusing dreams. He must have had dreams ― desires ― of his own. There must have been something he hoped to accomplish with all this.

Adonis: You honed in on the culprit by uncovering his motives?

Rei: Indeed. ‘Tis the backbone of any mystery novel, no? Who caused the incident, why, and how? Analyze each piece of evidence, speculate as to the answers, and deduce the truth. Fortunately, the culprit in this particular incident was somewhat careless. He left behind plenty of evidence, making the deduction rather straightforward. Firstly, we identified who committed the crime, and it was none other than one of my former devotees, like those “vampires” from our dream. In other words, he was one of the delinquents who was exterminated by us in that past incident. He idolized me, worshiped me without my consent, and sought to become my successor… But was ultimately crushed by the student council and lost to history as just another one of Yumenosaki’s corrupt students.

Rei: The culprit, “Dracula-kun,” was sacrificed as one of the cornerstones of the student council's revolution. Yet, despite being handed such a harsh judgment, he showed no remorse. Without repentance, he repeated his mistakes.

Koga: ……

Rei: He refused to accept it. He could not understand why he had been subjected to such suffering. He simply felt it was unfair. Frustrated and dissatisfied, he convinced himself that the current situation, that history itself, was wrong… …And so he attempted to rewrite history, setting it upon the “correct” course. In his mind, he envisioned an ideal, righteous world where he was my closest companion, my friend, disciple, and loyal subject — someone loved by me above all else.

Kaoru: This might sound kinda flippant but isn’t that like, basically just us?

Rei: Indeed. The culprit behind this incident was a pitiful ghost who longed for immortality, but was unable to achieve it. Frankly speaking, it is quite probable that he wished to become a part of "UNDEAD."

[ ☆ ]

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[pacifymebby]

t r o u b l e // chapter two

Chapter List

A Peaky Blinders Balletcore Modern AU

Sylvia

I closed my eyes, stood en pointe, pushing myself beyond the limit, my whole delicate frame quivering with the effort, slowly pulling my left leg in towards my body. I could feel the strain, the tightness tugging and releasing with every breath as I forced my thigh up closer to my ear, breathing through the pain. All my concentration focussed on holding the position long enough to relax just enough to push my knee against my ear and hold it.

My sister had already mastered the position, she was afterall, born five minutes earlier and five minutes more talented than I. Thats what I'd always told her anyway. I'd spent my whole life doing things like this, hiding in the dance studio after class practicing longer and harder than her, exhausting myself to keep up with her. Trying not to hold it against her because it couldn't be helped.

I listened to the rise and fall of Moonlight Sonata, teetering with it as it climbed. For a moment I was nothing more than a body, a waif suspended on string, commanded by the music which filled my ears. Held by the music. And then just as sudden and as sharp as I had been delicate, the music cut out and my phone began to ring. Its shrill tone startled me and sent me down onto my knees swearing at the sting of my sudden release and when I saw my brothers name on the screen I cursed him, vowing not to take shit from him when he'd fucked my practice up.

"What the fuck is it John I'm in the middle of practice!" I snapped, flushing pink with frustration when he chuckled.

"Temper temper Fen," he grinned. I could hear traffic from his end of the line and the voice of another person talking to him, "Sonya with you?"

"No one calls me that," I hissed rolling my eyes, trust him to disturb me and not my sister even though it was her he wanted, "and no, shes not, like I said I'm at practice..."

"Don't you practice together?"

"Yeah well," I bit the tip of my thumb, gathering my things together as I sat on the floor, legs bent out of shape, like a wilted flower, "this is extra..."

"Nah, our Fen doesn't need extra practice she's too good for that shit..."

"Well now you're just admitting you've not seen a single one of my performances from the last three years..."

"Eh now thats not..."

"The nutcracker, christmas 2015..." I said sharp enough to shut him up because he knew I was right. I started tugging on the ribbon of my pointe shoes to undo them, using my teeth to pull the ribbon loose, more aggressive than I should have been.

I might not have seen my brothers for a long time but it didn't mean I'd lost my Shelby charm.

"Right, alright so we haven't exactly been close..." he sighed, "am sorry Fen..."

"Fuckin don't call me that dinlow," I snapped then, losing my temper because I couldn't stand to hear him talk like we were still brother and sister when they'd all but abandoned us down in London at the ballet. Our fucking Tommy probably would have sent us further had he not been so intent on keeping tabs on us. "Me own brothers don't have time to come to a fuckin Sunday matinee but they send their little spies to follow us into town every Friday night..."

"Thats for your protec..."

"Just tell me what you're phonin me for John, so I can get back to my fuckin life..."

"Alright," he sighed defeated, he sounded sad but not as sad as it had made me feel every time I'd put their names on a guestlist only for them to be crossed off it again as no shows. "Alright Syl," he said and it was then that I heard the tiredness in his voice, like he'd been up for days, "I'm at your flat right now yeah and your not home and your sisters not home and I need to talk to y'both its important alright so will y'jus let me know where you are an me an uncle Charlie will come pick you up so we can go get..."

"Uncle Charlies with you?"

"Aye lass,"

"Wait why are you at our flat? And whats Uncle Charlie here for?" call it Romani instinct but at the mention of my uncle I'd britsled, this goosebump creeping sensation shivering straight down my spine.

"Lets just get us all together first right an then I'll explain everythin sis, whats the address of your studio yeah? Then we'll go get..."

"I don't know where Sunny is," I said quickly, feeling guilty because when they'd first sent us off to ballet school when we were only little girls Tommy had made us promise we would always look out for one another. Family first and all that. But in recent months I'd not been brave enough to do that. Sonya had been keeping secrets, sneaking off in the evenings after training and I, not wanting to be another spy for Tommy, knowing how much it hurt to feel like you never really got a moments privacy, hadn't tried to push her for honesty.

"What?" John snapped, "why don't you know where your fucking sister is Sylvia?"

I flinched hearing the flair in his tone, the anger growled out between those words. John had never been the brother to lose his temper with me and Sonya, we'd always been his favourites, he'd always been soft on us, but just then as he'd spat those words down the phone he'd sounded more like Tommy or Arthur than John.

"I...sorry I don't fuckin spy on my sister John she's allowed to leave the house surely..." I stuttered losing my confidence, hearing Uncle Charlie chastise him for scaring me. He said something about how if he'd wanted to scare us Tommy would have come himself. That much was true.

"Fuck sake," groaned John, i couldnt tell if his frustration was self directed or still all for me but when he sighed and said sorry I felt that shiver down my spine again. Something had happened. Something was wrong.

"Look am sorry Fen," he said a little softer, all the stress bubbling just beneath the surface, "where are you? I'll come an get you, we can talk in the car..."

"I'm just leaving the studio now," I said softly, "I'll get the tube it'll be..."

"Nah you won't kid stay inside yeah, I'll phone when I'm outside, you stay put alright.."

"Yeah, yeah sure thats fine I'll stay here..."

"Good girl," he said, his voice sounding like a smile again, relaxing me a little, not really doing enough to quell the fear rising in my chest.

If Tommy had sent him and Uncle Charlie down to London to speak to us, that meant some serious shit had gone down in the family. Someone was either dead, dying or soon to be, and the way John had cut me off when I'd told him I'd take myself home, told me we were all threatened.

"Alright, right see you soon, love you,"

"Love you," i chewed my cheek. They weren't exactly words our brothers used often. He was obviously feeling superstitious.

I slipped my trainers on and shuffled my leg warmers down around my ankles, picking myself and my bag off the floor. As I left the studio to wait in the foyer I slipped one airpod in but not the other, knowing that if my brothers could have me watched anyone could.

In the foyer there was a large wall length mirror and I stood for a moment gazing into it, looking at my sister looking back at me. We were the kinds if identical twins people really did struggle to tell apart, even our brothers. Even occasionally our Aunt Pol who usually had a knack for these things. As youngens it had been a blessing, all the tricks we'd been able to play when we were still close, when we knew everything about one another and we never argued or fell out. Never kept secrets.

But I knew wherever she was now I needed to warn her about John, because if she was somewhere she shouldn't have been, somewhere in the city our brothers didn't run, there'd be more trouble than was worth.

She felt so far away now and I felt guilty because it wasn't exactly like it wasn't my fault. I'd distanced myself since she'd gone for a guest role with the royal ballet, Odette, Swan Lake. I'd wanted to go for it too but when she'd mentioned it I'd changed my mind and held back knowing she'd get the role over me. Now her name was all over this end of the city, Sonya Gray, and next year she'd probably be a Principle. I could try again then, it was only a year. I'd tried to reason with myself at the time, but now I had to admit, it hurt. It ached. I hated to feel jealous of her but I did.

And so rather than resent her I'd started to distance myself, let her drift away, let her sneak off in the evenings, pretended not to notice.

Where are u? Johns here!!!

I sent the text and slipped my phone back into my pocket, turning the volume up on my music as I drifted to a seat in the corner.

People watched us. We were infamous and it had nothing to do with how talented we were. Nothing to do with how many lead roles we could land. Everything to do with our brothers, the name we tried to distance ourselves, the reputation we just couldn't shake. She'd probably heard of my brothers, most people had. What I didn't realise was that she'd seen the news on the television, that I hadn't but when Sonya replied to my texts with a phone call two seconds later, I realised why that woman hadn't been able to look my in the eyes. It wasn't fear or suspicion. Only pity.

There was a woman sitting on the reception desk. A security camera on the ceiling behind her.

When I looked up at her she looked down at her hands trying to pretend she hadn't been watching me. But I wasn't naïve.

"Its fucking Michael! Someones hit michael!" she was sobbing, her voice was shaking and as the words sunk in I felt my own hands begin to tremble. I sucked my cheek in between my teeth and bit down trying to control myself, not wanting to cry now when someone could see me. Because they'd know I was only just hearing the news.

"Is he..." I started, not wanting to finish the question because I knew I was being listened to. Didn't want anyone eaves dropping.

"Hospital," was all she managed to get out before another sob overwhelmed her. For a second all I heard was her choked crying and I wondered where she was. Wondered who was seeing her break down like this. Wondered how long it would take for her pretty little face to start circulating the internet, her hand clasped over her mouth, her eyes red rimmed and swollen, her nose pinkish with sorrow. She'd be the perfect image for the pigs at the daily mail to run with, her pretty tears, the waif in distress. They'd push that photo on Twitter and Facebook, she'd be in the headlines. Poor girl.

"Listen Sunny where are you?" I asked her trying to be gentle, biting my teeth a little deeper into my cheek until I could feel the blood seeping, "you in public?" I asked and she started giggling through her sniffles.

"Uhuh," she said, "I need to get a fuckin grip i know," she said then probably wiping her eyes as she pushed her way through a busy London train station.

"Nah," i said sighing, pushing the wisps of hair which were coming loose around my forehead away. Twisting one a little nervously. "Nah its not that its John ain't it, he's coming to pick me up now and then we're coming to get you..."

"Oh," she sniffled, "yeah i spose that makes sense..."

"Yeah," I said thinking about our poor cousin, rushed to hospital in the back of an ambulance. Poor Pol, she'd barely been reunited with him and now he was being ripped away all over again.

"Shit," she shivered as she spoke, "look I'll be in Camden right, by the lock or something and we can say I was just with a mate..."

"Were you not?" I bit my lip, hesitant, wondering if I asked her now she would tell the me the truth.

"No..." she said quietly, "shit Sylvie," she was whispering now, still crying a little, her voice shaking a little though now she sounded more scared than sad, "if I tell you you gotta promise you won't say a word to John,"

"Cross my heart,"

"I'm in Little Italy," she said then, "Sabini's territory..."

"Oh..." I said, glancing up at the woman behind reception. She was still pretending not to be watching. I wondered if my face was going to be plastered all over social media too. There was less potential really, I wasn't crying, the photographs of me wouldn't have the same waif like prettiness because I'd only been frowning and chewing my cheek. I'd be tight lipped, sharp sullen jawed.

"I've been seein this lad..." she said, "he's Italian..."

"Oh..." I said again with a smirk, cracking a grin when she gasped and told me not to judge her.

"Honest he's not like the others.."

"Not a fucking..." i trailed off, "you know..."

"I mean, yeah but..."

"Oh fuck me Sunny," I grinned in disbelief, "ever likely you didn't want me to say anything to John!"

"Don't Sylvie he'll kill the poor lad..."

"Yeah," I said with a soft smile, "yeah he fuckin will..." I looked up then, just in time to see a swish black range rover pull to a stop in the road outside. I knew it was my brother before the window rolled down and the horn started beeping, but when she heard the beep from her end of the phone Sonya knew too amd smirked.

"Camden Lock yeah, just say I'd gone to the market..." she said, "I'll see you soon, love you,"

"Love you," I said as I stood up and made my way outside as quickly as I could, just wanting John to stop hitting that fucking horn and causing a scene.

Next Chapter

[moonstonedrawsrandomly]

The Birth of the Church of Hope 0

Noelia was trekking home with one of her new followers, Nonojul . Since she was way too tired to teleport them back to the Cult, they had to trek the way they came from. It was a long way back through the defeat that she left behind. Red hat wasn’t at all too pleased with this unlike Nonojul. Nonojul was quite talkative during their trek. A bright bubbly personality, something that Noelia was wishing she still had, was making this trip a lot more bearable. Unlike the red hat.

“Oh god, will you shut up? Be quiet like a good little follower?!?”

“Red Crown, be nice will ya?”

“He goes on and on about nothing! Can be really be a good follower?”

“How about you shut your mouth before I SHUT IT FOR YOU!?!?”

Noelia shouted. She was already looking pretty tired. She is, in fact, mortal. With moral little baba feelings. Nonojul was quiet as she spoke to her hat. Then she turns her gaze to him.

“Please, continue talking about the clouds, ignore him. So what’s these clouds? Culu-“

“Cumulonimbus!”

“Ah”

She said. And speaking of clouds, the rumblings that she thought were her stomache were coming from the sky at that time. It made her uneasy. They still have a bit to go, and Noelia didn’t like lightning or getting caught in that.

“Oh you heard about that storm coming? It’s a huge storm that will take out a lot of bridges”

Nonojul said. They had to quicken the pace.  With him following behind, it was going to be risky. The risk was doubled when the happen upon a group of people who were sat by themselves. They didn’t even notice them passing.

“Wait please!”

“We’re friendly! Please don’t hurt us, we have kids!”

Noelia and Nonojul came down to see what was the fuss. What was going on. There were at least 3 adults, two accompanying children. The oldest looked middle aged, and the youngest was an infant.

“Please, we are refugees from a Cult. The leader went insane and started killing children for their sacrifice!”

The male bunny said

“To protect our children, we had to leave, he was a menace. A big storm is coming, we have nowhere to go. Please help us!”

The female cuthulu said. Nonojul looked at her.

“Didnt you say you had a small cult?”

He said. Noelia looked at him, but was interrupted by her hat.

“Nonsense! We need strong members for our cult. These are the rejects! Let’s move on lamb”

Nonojul rejected that.

“You can’t just leave them out here, they have kids and such, they are vulnerable to this world!”

“Hush you! We are taking YOU on a whim”

Nonojul grabs her shoulders

“Oh great leader, what do YOU want? After all this is your cult.”

Nonojul had his hand removed by her

“Two things, 1, please don’t put your hand on my body without permission.”

“I-im sorry”

It seemed like her mind was made up.

“And 2, carry the babies, we’re all going to the…the…”

She just realized that her cult didn’t even have a name, she quickly thought of one though…

“THE CHURCH OF HOPE! Yes, now let’s hurry back before the storm comes. If you fall behind, we will not come back for you”

“Yes! Thank you!”

“Let’s hurry”

Everyone picked up their things, the group thanked them for taking them in. Despite Noelia ignoring the red crowns instructions, she became more bold with her demands. She knew that she needed to make more changes before she could fully get ahold of her cult- well, I guess her Church now...

The storm came just as she finished building the medical station and the last house. The male of the group and the other woman came to her and kneeled

“Thank you oh gracious leader! Thank you for protecting my family, we are forever in your debt”

“Many thanks”

Red crown looked on.

‘Definitely from a cult, they have etiquette. I guess she made a good choice.’

“Your fine for now. Do you work? Do you have an occupation?”

She asked. She pulled up a stool.

“Because if you do, you have some staying power, as the cul-Church is very young”

“I am a local doctor from the cult”

“And I am a seamstress…maybe not as useful to you”

Noelia thought about that

“I have use of the doctor…but the seamstress…there has to be something bc or you to do…”

Red hat speaks up

“Doesn’t your “Church” need uniforms? Outfits? For daily life?”

Noelia blinked.

“You know what? We do! Do you know how to make cloth into fabric?”

“I do, but it takes a while”

“If your willing to teach, the doctor as well, you both can stay”

Noelia gets up

“There are a few rules to our cult, but I will inform you when the storm has passed. There, you will have your first meal with your new members of this church. Please don’t give me any trouble. Good night”

They both bowed.  Then red crown stopped

“What about the other one? You haven’t assigned her anything?”

“…wait, you didn’t see? Why do you think I gave them a bigger house? She’s with child!”

“Oh! Well then!”

“Yes, we will assign her when she is ready. She has her hands full with a newborn already.”

She said as they walked away from the house. She returns to the temple, where she lives and she puts the red hat down.

“Okay, I know I stepped on your toes for a bit. I’m sorry. But Nonojul made a very good point. I am the leader of this cult. This church is mine…however, we pray to the one who waits. They are not subservient to him, they are to me. In order to convince them to pray to him, we have to work together. Okay?”

Red crown sighed.

“Your not the first person to wear me and say that. You ARE the first person to go against what I said. However, I will work with you under one condition”

“Make it reasonable”

“You and I need to spend time alone. I’m always on someone’s head. It gets stuffy up there. I am a tool for self destruction! A weapon of mass genocide…yet I want to rest as well…you understand?”

“Okay, Red ha-“

“And stop calling me that!”

“What do you want to be called”

“I don’t know! Just not red hat!”

“Give me a bit, I’ll give you a name…how about…Bonbon! I’m just kidding, give me a bit?”

She said as she placed him on the little desk in the back. After the storm settled for the night in its strength, Noelia came back with a big smile on her face.

“I have a name for you”

“Oh, cool.”

“What do you think of…Hades? Like the god of death in that old gods book? You don’t like it”

Red hat looked at her. An actual good name. A thoughtful name.

“I…it’s a nice name”

He couldn’t hide his excitement. Noelia could see through him.

“Alright! Well, get some sleep Hades!”

She said as she closes the door to her room. Hades looked out the window.

“This one you picked, this lamb, might even surpass you one day, Narinder”

TBC

[evereinefaust]

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ 𝐇𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 ࿐ྂ

Pairing: Akise Aru X afab!Reader

Trigger Warning: Character death, violence, gore

Sypnosis: Nightmares have been plaguing MC for the past couple of days. She didn't know why it started, but she knew that it has to mean something. And one person keeps appearing in her nightmares — Akise.

Word Count: 3,733

"Akise-kun!"

I ran...

"Akise-kun!"

And ran...

"Akise-kun!"

And ran...

"AKISE-KUN!"

But I was too late...

I bolted upright in horror, gasping for air. My [e/c] irises were dilated with tears blurring my vision. I was sweating. Hard. My heart was beating uncontrollably against my chest. Raising a trembling hand, I grasped my chest. It was dark. My eyes can barely make out the objects in front of me. There was a shelf full of books, a dresser beside it, and a poster that I can't clearly identify plastered on the wall behind it. Calming down a bit, I surveyed around. There was the door on the farthest corner of the room, a television set on the adjacent wall, and a nightstand beside me with a lone lamp on it. This time, I glanced down. There was a white blanket covering half of my legs, and half of the fabric was draping down from the bed I was situated in.

"Another nightmare..." 

I wiped off the sweat that was rolling down my face. It seems to be in the middle of the night because of the darkness. The only thing that illuminates this dim room was the moonlight seeping through the curtained windows beside me. I let out a shaky breath after, feeling myself fully calm down from that horrid dream. Taking my phone from the nightstand, I opened it to check the time. I squinted my eyes due to the bright light it emitted. After my sight adjusted, I saw the time.

"12:16," I mumbled, sighing in defeat.

Placing the device back on its previous spot, I returned back to my sleeping position on the bed. It's always been like this. I don't know where or when it started, but all I know was I was haunted by the same dream for at least a week by now. Today is already July 26th.

I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep...

"Akise-kun!"

I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe that my friends were all killed. I can't believe that the culprit was also one of my friends, the one that held a Future Diary. I can't believe that the world is going to end. My world is going to end...

There was just so much destruction. Rubbles and destroyed walls were piling against each other. I ran faster, climbing up to reach the body not far away from me. Successfully making it to the platform, I immediately checked Akise-kun's body. He was lying on his front, blood pooled around his neck area where his wound is. Tears were already brimming in the corner of my eyes as I saw the situation he was in. But I held it.

I slowly and carefully adjusted Akise-kun so he was leaning against me. But as I did so, blood splurted out from his throat. The wound was deep, I noted. No one else can inflict this kind of injury other than Gasai Yuno herself.

"Akise-kun, are you alright?" I asked, worry lacing in my tone as I ripped a portion of my shirt to dress his wounds.

As expected, he didn't respond. He had his eyes closed at the moment, his breathing shallow and unstable. My brows were creased while dressing his injury. Once I was finished, I hugged him. My heart is in pain. My body was trembling in fear. My eyes were wet with tears. And I am filled with grief.

"I'm...sorry..." I choked out, feeling myself breaking down. "I'm...sorry..."

I quietly held on Akise-kun's body, slightly trembling due to the tears. After a few seconds, I heard a strained cough and movement from him. It made me panic when I saw blood spluttering out from his mouth.

"Akise-kun!" I gently helped Akise-kun up, slinging one arm on my shoulder.

Akise-kun glanced at me, his carmine orbs staring at my [e/c] ones while his other eye was tight shut. He moved his mouth, but no sound came out. I knew it, he can't speak due to the injury Gasai-san inflicted. My brows were scrunched up in frustration and anger for the pink-haired, but I contained the feelings inside.

I found myself frowning at the sight of my loved one. Even without saying anything, I already knew what Akise-kun had in mind. He still wants to convince Amano-kun despite his eventual death. Why is he doing this? Why is he sacrificing himself for someone who can't even identify who was right or wrong? Why are you doing this for him, Akise-kun? Can't you see that we can't convince him anymore?

I bit my lips as we took a step forward. I was reluctant... but still... I respected Akise-kun's wish.

"Amano-kun!" I called on the brunette as I aided Akise-kun up the platform. 

The pair turned around and spotted us. Amano-kun had his eyes wide in shock while the pinkette beside him was snarling, clearly agitated to see us alive. I spared a quick glance at my companion as he panted for air, in his hand held out his blue flip phone.

"[N-name]-san? Akise-kun?—Yuno! Don't!"

Gasai-san charged at us without any hesitation despite Amano-kun calling out to her. We slowly trudged to where he was, readying myself to protect Akise-kun from the approaching female. Gasai-san was closing on us, and I was about to let go of my compani—

"G—AHH!" I let out an agonizing scream as I pummeled down the rubble.

My leg was bruised as well as my whole body, but the most notable damage was my twisted ankle. My back hit the hard concrete behind me, making me limp on the cold platform. Everything happened in a blur, I can't even identify who or what threw me away. Gasai-san was still a few meters away from us when I was about to let go of—oh...

Did Akise-kun throw me aside? Was he the one responsible? Why did he do that? Was it because of the fear of Gasai-san hurting me? No! That can't be! I was supposed to be the one protecting him! Despite the pain I'm feeling, I forced my bruised body up, letting my eyelids open... only to witness the gruesome scene playing out before me​​​—

It felt like forever. It felt like time was slowly moving forward. Tears were cascading down from my widened eyes. My arms were extended in his direction as I reached forward. My feet, despite being injured, sprinted towards him. I was screaming loudly for his name, praying that somehow, he would be saved. However... My wishes weren't granted.

"AKISE-KUN!"

I failed... didn't I? I was frozen like a statue on my spot. It didn't help my case when I realized that I wasn't able to take even a single step. I sharply inhaled. My parted lips were quivering. The silence was deafening to my ears. As much as I wanted the silence to be broken, it was devastating that the sound of a soft thud and object rolling on the floor resonated in the air too much for my liking. Mostly because the object was the head of my beloved...

Dull and lifeless carmine hues blankly stared at mine not too far away. Blood trickled down from the owner's mouth as some more gushed out from the obvious opening. The sight... was unbearable. Tears were threatening to break through the barrier and flow freely like an upstream river, but alas... I held it in.

Shadows formed over my face as I tilt my head down, hands clutched tight in a fist as I gritted my teeth. I can't take it anymore! My heart was pounding hard and angry against my chest. Hatred and ire were directed to a pair of sherbet-pink eyes, my own narrowing in a heated glare.

Gasai took a step forward, her blade ready at her side to strike its second victim. I couldn't care less, though. Animosity and adrenaline were the only things that fueled me, preventing my brain to make any apt decisions.

"GASAI YUNO!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, charging at the woman despite my injury.

She swung her blade at me, attempting to slice my head off just like how she did with Akise-kun, but I dodged the attack. She clicked her tongue in annoyance, retracting back her weapon to launch another attack on me. I barely missed the blade as she directly jabbed it into my face, cutting only my hair and grazing my cheek.

Seeing this as an opening, I wrapped my arms around hers that was holding the weapon before sending a strong bash on her right abdomen with my knee, presumably where her injury was. She let out a pained yelp and dropped the weapon. I instantly kicked the blade from her reach as I held onto her limbs.

"AMANO-KUN!" I yelled out, successfully earning his attention in the midst of my battle.

Gasai-san, however, saw through my intentions as she elbowed my back repeatedly, trying to loosen my iron grip on her. I let out a sharp breath at every jab, each more excruciating than the previous. I gritted my teeth in utter annoyance.

"WHY?! WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND IT, AMANO-KUN?!" I barked at the boy while struggling against the pink-haired psychopath.

He didn't respond. Fueled with anger, I used all my strength to throw Gasai-san away forcefully, stopping her from dealing damage to my back. I didn't look back. The loud thud and pained yelp were enough for me to know that she won't be getting up anytime soon.

"WE'RE TRYING TO STOP YOU! WE'RE TRYING TO CONVINCE YOU! WE'RE TRYING TO PROTECT YOU!" I continue to yell at him.

Tears were free falling from my eyes as I slowly made my way towards Akise-kun's body. I gasped for air at each painful step, forcing my way towards the white-haired male, only, his head wasn't intact. My knees gave up when I finally arrived at his body, panting profusely due to the lack of oxygen in my damaged lungs.

Wrapping my arms around his torso, I moved Akise-kun's body so he was resting on my lap. It horrified me, to see his beheaded body so close. But... I couldn't care less. This might be the last time that I'll be embracing him like this. My eyes wandered off for a moment and saw the phone he was holding. Even after being injured, he still got up. Even after knowing that he'll be killed, he still moved forward. He did all of this sacrifice... Just for him.

"Akise-kun..." I sobbed, finally letting go of the restraints that I placed on myself.

It was always like this. I was always watching Akise-kun from afar, seemingly only to view his back. It was like he was always somewhere far from me, somewhere that I can't possibly reach him. I was always catching up on him. I was always guarding him. I was always there to ensure that he was far from harm. I was his guardian angel—his protector.

For all the times that we've been together, I tried my hardest to conceal my emotions and feelings. I've always thought that in order to protect him, I must rid myself of those unnecessary things. Despite that, my love for him always grew. I told myself once that I shouldn't cry for his sake—that I shouldn't show weakness and vulnerability. But... it wouldn't be wrong to cry now, right...?

"So why...? Why did you do this...? How can you easily kill your friends like this...? You can't bring them back to life, you know?"  I sobbed harder, clutching tightly to Akise-kun's beheaded body. His warmth that I loved so much was fading away. "You can't bring them back... and yet, you still killed them... Why you must take him away from me...?"

I glanced up at the boy in front of me. The one who was responsible for all of my friend's death—Amano Yukiteru-kun. My blurry vision can still make out Amano-kun's eyes that was still wide in horror and confusion. He was crying... but not as much as I do. It hurts... Everything hurts...

"You know, Amano-kun... Akise-kun loved you so much... He only had his eyes on you... He only had his attention on you... He did everything to help you... To ensure that you are on the right path..."

I could hear Gasai-san's footsteps. She was coming closer. But despite the fact that she will end me soon, I just didn't care. I'm already done... My friends are dead, anyway. I have no home to return to. I have no one to return to. I'll be left alone if I still live. So why not join them on the other side, instead?

Letting out a defeated sigh, I turn my attention to the body I was holding. I flashed Akise-kun a bitter smile, before craning my head down to hug his body closer and tighter than before. Footsteps now ring close in my ear before stopping just behind me.

"I've always loved Akise-kun... But no matter what I do, his attention and love was always on you," I told the brunette, giving him a sorrowful smile as the blade pierced through my heart.

I gasped for air, bolting upright into a sitting position on my bed. Sweat covered my whole face as I panted, my eyes were wide as ever. There were tears that rolled from my eyes. I clenched my rapidly beating heart with my trembling hand. It felt so real... The pain of my heart being pierced through felt so real.

"[Name]-chan? Are you alright?"

A sudden voice snapped me out of my frightened daze. However, it only left me in a much more vigilant state. I whisked my head to the side and saw a familiar person standing by my doorway. My heart pounded hard against my chest at the sight of him. Soft white hair, pale skin, and alluring pink orbs. The male in my nightmares...

"Akise-kun..." I muttered unconsciously.

The male had a confused expression as he observed me. Closing the door behind him, he then walked towards where my bed is. My eyes were watching his every action as he sat on the edge of the bed. Reddish pink eyes were staring intently at my [e/c] ones, making me a bit uncomfortable at his unexpected gaze.

"Uh..."

"Are you okay, [Name]-chan? Did you have a nightmare again? You're sweating a lot," the boy asked worriedly as he got out his handkerchief and wiped my sweat with it.

"U-uh... I'm fine, really. I just had a bad dream, no need to worry too much about me, Akise-kun," I blurted out, waving my hand dismissively.

However, he only frowned at my response, pausing his actions. "Why are you calling me Akise-kun? You're used to calling me Acchan, right?"

"Eh?"

My [e/c] irises were staring at his equally confused ones, we're both baffled, to say the least. Did I really used to call him Acchan instead of Akise-kun just like in my dreams? It might be. Maybe it was because of the nightmare that I kept experiencing or the insomnia that follows that lead me to this predicament? Or maybe it is the dream's influence to make me act like this? Who knows...

"I'm sorry, Acchan. I just woke up and was disoriented at the moment," I reasoned, flashing him an apologetic smile.

"It's fine," he returned back the smile with his gentle ones, making me flush in embarrassment.

Ah... I knew it. Dream or not, I knew that my feelings for him remains the same. After a few minutes of silence, I finally calmed down⁠—my heart was returning to its usual rhythm, my body wasn't anymore trembling, and sweat stopped rolling down my face. I took this as a chance to evaluate my current situation. Speaking of which, why did I just suddenly call him Akise-kun if I used to call him Acchan? If I did, isn't it automatic that my brain and mouth would think of that name and speak of it? But considering that I've just woken up and was shaken, I guess it's fair to say that my brain wasn't functioning well.

I've recalled all of the memories that I've spent with the albino, and true enough, all I could remember was calling him Acchan instead of Akise-kun. That nightmare had left me still frightened, and I can't ignore the prolonged sensation that it was real. Ridding myself of that thought, I tried to find a reason why it happened. I remembered rumors that said dreams have the ability to warp people's way of perceiving reality and began accepting those imaginations to be corporeal.

I've also recalled that my friend told me before that she'd experienced this. She had a dream about her late grandmother still alive, and after she woke up, she came to believe that even though her grandmother was long deceased. She eventually realized that, but she commented on how it felt so eerily real. Maybe that's what I'm experiencing currently, right? Though, I'm displeased with the fact that it had to be a nightmare like that.  

"Breakfast is ready downstairs. I'll be waiting for you after you've freshened up," Acchan informed me, patting my bedhead a bit before standing up to leave.

I glanced at Acchan's back as he strode towards the door. It was always like this. Acchan was always walking away from me⁠—going somewhere far from my reach. I frowned at the reality of it. Out of the blue, a horrid image flashed in my eyes⁠—the nightmare wherein Acchan was marching to his death; a woman was charging towards him, her blade ready to behead the said male.

My breath hitched at the vision, seeing that it vanished shortly just like how it appeared. Without second thoughts, I rushed to get off the bed, my arms extended in Acchan's direction. Once his back was within reach, I instantly let my arms snake around his body, my grip on him was tight as ever. It made him halt in his steps, about to turn the knob open.

I knew that my actions were rash and unjustified, but... I'm afraid... afraid of losing him just like in my nightmare. Resisting the urge to cry on the spot, I buried my face deep in his broad back.

"[Name]-chan?" Acchan's voice was soft and delicate like a flower, but underneath, it held confusion.

I didn't utter a single word. I just let myself stay frozen for a moment... that is... until my body started trembling.

"[Name]-chan, are you okay?" I could feel Acchan move his head to check on me, his voice lingering with concern.

"Promise me..." I choked out a sob, trying to contain the upcoming tears, "Promise me, Acchan, that you won't leave me... Please promise me that."

I can't take it... I just can't take it anymore... Just thinking about the possibility is killing me. Just remembering the fresh memory of that horrid nightmare is enough to make me insane. I just can't...

My heart was jumping loud and fast against my chest. The tears that I tried suppressing cascaded freely like a waterfall. I hiccuped, doing my best to stop my shaking hand but to no avail. Soon, I choked out another sob.

"[Name]-chan..." Acchan called for the third time.

I could feel his arms move and his larger, calloused hands gently grabbed mines. He carefully lifted it off his chest, making me back away for a bit. Once he finally remove himself from me, I let my limbs fall to my side. I unconsciously closed my lids, afraid to see him eye to eye.

Maybe he's disgusted with me... What else could it be, right? After all, I did beg him to not leave me. We're not a couple, nor are we dating. I'm also sure that Acchan only sees me as a friend and nothing more... but...

I love him.

My chest hurts just at the thought of ruining our friendship because of that unwanted gesture and stupid request. Acchan can't possibly love me back... right?

"I'm so⁠—hmph?!"

My eyes were wide as it could ever be. I was about to apologize because of my actions, but instead, I was shut up by soft lips on mine. Those lips belong to no other than Akise Aru⁠—Acchan. The only boy that I laid my eyes on. The one that stole my heart. And the one that I love so deeply that I was so afraid of losing him. I've always assumed that he didn't feel the same towards me, and that was the reason why I didn't take advances. However, it seems that my assumption was proven wrong.

The kiss lasted a moment when Acchan pulled away. My [e/c] orbs were gazing back at his ruby ones, albeit blurry due to tears. I was dumbfounded. I was speechless. I could only stare at Acchan's handsome features and feel myself calm down with just that⁠—my heartbeat was regaining its normal rhythm, my body ceased trembling, and my tears stopped flowing.

Acchan smiled at me⁠—a loving one. "I promise, [Name]-chan. I promise that I won't leave you. Ever."

And with that, he slowly leaned in while wrapping his arms around me. As our lips connected, I fluttered my eyes close and Acchan pulled me closer to his body. I melted in the passionate kiss as my body relaxed in his loving embrace. All of my worries washed away; all I could think of at this moment was Acchan's words echoing in my mind.

"I promise."

[pwnyta]

Okay so there’s the thing… I play CROB still (for some reason 💀) and couple of updates ago I sent you a pretty long message about all the changes and how ugly they are and how much I hate them and how they demotivate me and I don’t really wanna play the game, but that message, sadly, was completely lost when I sent it because of the internet disconnection… so, I was really angry about it and just decided to let it be.

But OOOOOOHHHHH MYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOD I CANNOT DO THIS ANYMORE‼️‼️‼️‼️ THIS FUCKING GAME JUST GETS WORSE AND WORSE, UGLIER AND UGLIER, LESS AND LESS CONVENIENT I— god I REALLY don’t want to be angry about it, but I’ve been playing this game for 2-3 years and put good amount of many into it (let’s not discuss whether it was a good idea or not, I have money to spare and CROB was one of my hobbies), but now the game is just so. Fucking. BAD.

Bro.

They changed the way to level up characters. I LEGITIMATELY don’t know how to do it anymore. You can pay GEMS to level up your characters (yes, you heard it right), they got rid of the character and pet gachas, BUT IT DIDNT MAKE IT BETTER!!!! I AM!!! SO‼️ ANGRYYYYYYY AGHHHHHH‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

Today was a new update (it’s a Yogurca update) and I’m just…. Not only did they bring ANOTHER legendary treasure that is near impossible to get (I spent 50k+ gems that I’ve saved up + a lot of free pulls for treasure gacha and didn’t get SHIT), But also - and, tbf, I didn’t connect the dots until I went to the CROB’s YouTube channel - they’ve released a BOMBER cookie with a BOMBER jelly shapes for a middle eastern inspired world during Ramadan… need I say more?

God I’m so tired. I really liked CROB, I preferred it heavily over CRK, I was there for quite some time, but devs just get greedier and greedier, and they keep making game uglier and less convenient. I really don’t want to leave it behind, because, well, I put money into it, but outside of that, I still really like characters, I love their designs, I love the concept of the game and I REALLY love guild runs, they are fun! But at this point, I just login into the game everyday for rewards and to login into guild lottery. I just… god I feel so defeated. Why are they doing it? If the game is doing worse than they want, then just pull the fucking plug. I understand that some people are going to play and going to whale no matter what - I’ve already seen people with fully refined new legendary treasure, and that shit came out only couple of hours ago. But my GOD. I really liked this game, I felt nice while playing it, I liked the sense of accomplishment when I was getting better. Now the game is ugly, I don’t understand how to fucking LEVEL UP the characters and just….. ugh. Sorry for this rant, I just needed to talk about it somewhere 😓

Damn… Yeah IDK whats with CROB lately either. Im assuming theyre just putting more time and resources into CRK now, I know they never expected for CROB to get as consistently popular and well loved as it did and were planning for it to end well before… but like I honestly wish if they dont wanna do it anymore that they really did just shut it down rather than making things super bad until people just leave.

Which I mean theyre PROBABLY not going out of the way to make the game worse… but certainly FEELS that way. Or I guess its more they just wanna make more money off it. Since the Gacha was super generous when I was playing at least with the character/pet Gacha

And Peppercorn Cookie... great design... probably ANYWHERE ELSE at ANY OTHER TIME would have been a better time to release her... remarkably tone deaf.

It all really sucks since with Kingdom you need a higher end phone and it takes up way more space so theres probably a lot more people on the poorer side of things playing CROB which is probably why its so popular still… IDK.

Well IDK what to tell ya… I know I really loved the game and praised it for a long time and even spend money on it as well cuz I really enjoyed it… but it just stopped being worth it. If your still having fun just enjoy what you can… if you just wanna see the characters im sure you can find the stories on Youtube or something so you dont have to waste your time with it…

No worries tho. Im always ready to commiserate the loss of a good series or game...

(Unlike BNHA Im more sad about CROB than mad about it.)

[twstedstoryshop]

And They Shared A Bed

A scenario in which Yuu is willing to share their bed with a needy Ace after he gets kicked out the dorm for eating a certain tart.

Content: Ace x GN!Yuu, Fluff

“Just let me stay with you, Prefect! I’m real slim. I won’t take up much space!” Were the words that tumbled out of Ace without the slightest hesitation. It was something that honestly caught Yuu off-guard. With a personality like Ace’s, Yuu thought that he’d be the last person to want to share a bed. 

Though with the sorry state the guy was in, it looked like Ace was going to take whatever comfort he could get. Yuu ruffled the hairs on the back of their head awkwardly. It wasn’t like bed-sharing was scandalous for them, they’ve had sleepovers before where friends had to lay next to them. But they literally just met the guy this morning! Hell, how they even met was because of Ace being a jerk! As much as Yuu tried to reason with themself, their resolve crumbled when Ace threw them a shameless puppy-eyed look. His cherry red eyes practically gleamed for Yuu to reconsider.

Yuu sighed in defeat, their shoulders slumped. “Alright, alright, enough of that, Trappola. You can crash with me in my room….”

Ace did a little fist pump of victory while Grim bit back a yowl. “Henchman, you can’t be serious!? We don’t have enough space on our bed!”

“Oh yes, we do! More than enough! You would know that especially, right, Mr. Bed Hogger?” Yuu grumbled.

At that, Grim shut his mouth with a small “Geh…” and his ears flattened in defeat. A look that certainly had Ace chuckling and earned an immediate stink eye from the feline.

“Alright, c’mon. I’ll take you upstairs and you can freshen up before bed.”

“Yeeeees~! Thank you so much, benevolent Ramshackle Prefect! Your kindness knows no bounds!” Ace sang in mock-praise and Yuu immediately started to question their choice. 

Past the dusty stairway and behind a rather creaky door, Ace would follow Yuu right into their bedroom. It looked to be the biggest place out of all Ramshackle with a pretty large bed, ample space, and even a fireplace being situated against one wall. Though with the sorry state it was in, Ace doubted it would be providing warmth anytime soon. Speaking of warm, Ace was already starting to feel the woes Grim and Yuu had to face living in this dump of a building. Even with his uniform jacket on, a chill shuddered through him and he rubbed his arms.

“Geez, how do you even sleep here at night? Grim I can understand cuz he’s a furball, but you? You don’t even look like you’re wearing heavy pajamas.”

“I am not a furball!” Grim exclaimed while he was in the middle of hoisting his favorite pillow to the foot of the bed. Before he could get himself more riled, Yuu quickly settled the monster cat down and patted his back to get him to sleep.

“Eh, I tend to run warm usually. Sorry I can’t do much given how we’re stuck with,” they gestured vaguely to their surroundings, “--this. I’d offer you more blankets if most of them weren’t shredded by moths…”

Ace sighed, his posture slumped a bit. “Ah well, beggars can’t be choosers. I’m gonna use your bathroom then,” with that, the auburn-haired teen trudged off. Fortunately, hot water still ran through Ramshackle’s pipes, which was a bit of a surprise on Ace’s part. However, even while he tried to wash his face and hair with the warm water, the comfort would be fleeting once he stepped back into the chilly bedroom. Yuu was getting themself comfortable and Grim was knocked out immediately, snoring peacefully with drool dribbling down his chin. Ace wrinkled his nose at Grim’s sloppy sleeping as he rested his uniform’s outerwear on a nearby chair. He mentally slapped himself for not grabbing a bag of essentials before marching out here.

“You sure you’re gonna be okay sleeping in your uniform?” Yuu asked, then pointed at their neck. “And with that collar clamped around your neck?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll make do. If anything, I can always grab fresh clothes when we go back to apologize.”

“You mean when you go to apologize.”

“Yes, yes, of course,” Ace said dismissively, earning him an eye-roll from Yuu.

Eventually, Ace would slip right under the covers and Yuu rolled on their side, turning their back on Ace. They snuggled into the sheets, yawned, and gave a lazy, “good night” to Ace. The boy mumbled back the same phrase and tried his best to find his way to sleep. Emphasis on tried. Not even a good five minutes in Yuu’s sleep and they felt something shaking the bed slightly. Yuu looked over their shoulder to see the lump that was Ace shivering like a leaf caught on a blustery day.

“Ace. Ace!” Yuu hissed softly.

“Wha–?”

“Dude, is that you?” A moment of awkward pause.

“Yeah… Sorry, I’m really cold,” Ace mumbled.

“No, you’re fine. I just– hmm… How are we going to do this? I can feel you shaking next to me.”

“I can just go back downstairs and sleep on the couch, if I’m keeping you up,” he sighed.

“No, no, if anything, I’m worried you’re gonna catch a cold down there, cuz if you’re trembling here, you’re not gonna survive down there.”

“Well what do you suggest we do? You don’t have any more sheets right?”

“We can sleep with our backs touching.”

This time, it was Ace’s turn to look over his shoulder and shoot Yuu with an incredulous look. Something that Yuu instantly scoffed at. “Don’t you dare act weird now after you begged to come into my bed.”

“D-Don’t say it like that! It sounds bad like that!” Ace stammered out, his voice raising with the heat gathering in his cheeks.

“Shhh, shut up! You’re gonna wake Grim up! Do you want to be warm or not…!?”

“Fine, fine!” He grumbled in defeat. He felt Yuu scoot closer and a weight gently pressed against his back. Instantly, he felt warmth crawl along his spine. Yuu wasn’t kidding when they said their body ran warm. Ace relaxed, surprised that even just the close proximity was enough to comfort him. Yuu sighed softly in relief as they felt the tension in Ace slowly dissipate. Once again, they closed their eyes and nuzzled into the comforter. They focused, the darkness behind their eyelids beckoning them to the land of sleep… Until a familiar shaking against their back had their eyes snapped open. Ace didn’t even have the nerve to look back as he felt a pair of eyes bore into the back of his head.

“Trappola, I’m spooning you right now.”

Ace choked. He tried to spin around to face Yuu, ready to protest but the Prefect was faster than him. They latched onto him, body flushed against his, and their legs already tangling. Ace squirmed and frantically tried to slip out of Yuu’s arms that wound tightly around his waist.

“Lemme go!” He whispered harshly.

“Not if you’re going to be rattling like this the whole time. Neither of us are going to sleep at this rate. So either relax while I hold you or I’m legit going to kick you into the cold.”

Ace gritted his teeth as he weighed his options. It was cold enough already in this bedroom so how was the rest of this dusty, old building going to feel like? It’s only going to be for one night, he chanted silently in his mind and Ace went limp in defeat. “Just– stop holding me so tight…!” 

Yuu complied off course, loosening their hold on Ace in favor of a more comfortable position for the both of them. Yuu rested their forehead squarely between Ace’s shoulder blades, their arms now loosely held around Ace. With being so close to their fellow student, Yuu couldn’t help but to take in Ace’s natural scent. They could smell his light sweat leftover from the day’s antics of running around the campus and in the Dwarves’ Mine, but also a hint of something else. Tea with maybe a whiff of crumbled tarts? Whatever it was, it definitely a whole lot better than the must and dust in Ramshackle.

With Yuu so close now, Ace was forced to stay still as a statue. Yet as the minutes flew by, he began to let go of his tension. Of course, that didn’t stop his cheeks from glowing with red and being hyper aware of his fast beating heart. He screwed his eyes shut, trying desperately to not think about the situation he was in. Though in his mind, he began to wonder. When was the last time he had ever been hugged tenderly like this? Sure he had his rough hugs from his teasing dad and older brother along with the gentle hugs he’d offer to his mom. Yet those kinds of embraces were fleeting, something you only ever gave to family. Hell, he didn’t even get this far in cuddling with his past girlfriend.

Yet here he was, melting into a state of pure calm with this Prefect sharing body heat with him. Where once were whirling embarrassed thoughts now faded into a peaceful silence. Sleep finally washed over the two as the exhaustion from today’s activities finally hit them in one fell swoop.

♥♥♥

Being a ghost definitely had its perks besides well, y’know, the whole deal with not being among the living. No need to walk, didn’t have to worry about the pains of having a fleshy vessel, plus you get to be invisible and phase through walls. This certainly helped when one decided to maybe snoop around and see some rather interesting sights. No one would be none the wiser after all, since dead men tell no tales, right? That was what was going through the minds of the three resident ghosts of Ramshackle as they poked their heads through the Prefect’s wall.

They had decided to maybe give their newfound guests a surprise alarm on their first day at NRC. It was the least they could do for their new friends! But that idea went flying out the window the moment they laid their eyes on the bed. The late night visitor of Yuu’s was clinging onto them like they were his safety blanket. His face nuzzled deeply against their chest, arms held tight onto their waist. Meanwhile Yuu in their sleep was more than willing to hold Ace snuggly. One hand rested on the back of his head while the other was draped lazily on his shoulder. They even nestled their face close in Ace’s wild locks. Both slept deeply, so unaware of how they looked.

The three ghosts giggled to themselves and exchanged fond looks. “Shucks, ain’t they cute?”

“Maybe we can give ‘em five more minutes?”

“Yeah, five more minutes wouldn’t hurt…”

Sadly, the cute morning ended instantly the moment rough knocking was heard on the front door. Something, both Yuu and Ace were awakened too. Where once was a quiet morning was now replaced by panicked yells, bodies tumbling out of bed, and accusations being flung around. All while a poor confused Deuce stood outside with wide eyes.

[morganwrites12672]

**

STEVE HARRINGTON X HARGROVE READER

"It sucked, she was. I don't know how to say it. So loopy, and all she wanted was sex," billy complains. He tosses his shirt on the back of the chair in his room. He sits on the foot of the bed and runs his hands through his hair.

"Was it good sex, like Cali good?" You question, giving your twin a playful shove.

"Well, yeah. But I wouldn't mind being able to like, date," he states, "How was your date with Harrington," Now it's Billy's turn to tease .

"It was great, we went to the movies. With Dustin, but that's how it always ends up," you start pacing, "It was some shitty horror movie. Dustin ended up sitting on my lap. Steve was pissed, but couldn't stay mad,"

Billy starts laughing at your uneventful date. "I hate his guts, but he really makes you smile. I haven't seen you this happy since you spent all day surfing "

"I miss it," you move to hug him goodnight, the hug lingers to long for him to be okay.

You see a brief flash of pain on his face before he covers it with a smile.

You cross your arms, "What's wrong, " you ask softly.

"It's nothing go to bed. You have your midterm," he says trying to convince you to leave.

You sit on his bed and motion for him to lay down.

"Yn, no, " he says opening the door.

"yn yes. You dont have someone to hold you while you cry. But untill you find yourself a girl that is my job," you sit go and hug him.

His voice breaks as he says, "Yn. Please just go," a single tear falls. You hug him and shut the door.

Wrapping your arms around his waist, he starts to cry. "it's fucking everything," he lets go of your grasp after a minute and looks at you with tear stained cheeks, "what if I lose you. You saved my life by risking yours at starcourt, you took torture and bullets for Harrington," he looks you dead in the eye, "You save everybody. But don't let them save you,"

You start twirling your hair around your finger, "It's over. We defeated vecna, love you Billy goodnight," you say rushing out

You sit on the floor and look out your window. The sun had set long before. You always stayed up to wait on Billy for dates. He did the same unless you told him you wouldn't be back.

You had a better relationship with Susan, she had visited you in the hospital. Your dad was mad. Mad, why? Because you had made Susan upset over getting injured.

Max was fine, thank god. Everybody was okay. The only two to receive any possible fatal injuries were you and Eddie. You both recovered, and everybody was safe. So, why did it feel like something was wrong?

You pick up your phone. Should you call Steve? After all of the shit you had gone through together, whispered phone calls in the middle of the night were a regular thing.

Before you can decide you set the phone down and lay on the floor.

As you debate calling your phone rings. You quickly answer it.

"Hargrove, yn hargrove," you say into the phone, praying it was Steve.

"Baby," he says sounding like he was worried about you also.

"Hey what's wrong, Stevie," you coo. The pain and worry in his voice scaring you

"Just.... a bad dream. Love you, you need sleep,"

"I was actually about to call you. I had this feeling something was wrong. Talk to me, or do you want me to talk to you," you say, preventing him from hanging up.

You twirl your hair around your finger as you wait for a response.

"Please, baby," he almost whines. You can almost picture it: he is laying across his bed, covers and sheets astrewn. Hair is sticking to his slightly damp forehead.

"Okay well. You already know this but, I am going to tell you about our date," no complaints are a silent signal for you to continue, " It started out like a regular evening. But then Dustin called me while I was finishing my hair, and he sounded lonely. I couldn't say no. So we went to see some shitty, horror movie. You laughed at how terrible the fake gore was. I saw the brief look of jealousy whenever Dustin moved in my lap. The way your eyes looked like you might murder him. I think you were more jealous Dustin sat in my lap over yours, instead of the fact that a teenage boy, whom we know has a crush on me was in my lap,"

The only repsonse was a gentle hum, to let you know he was there.

You continued describing little things he did that week, the tell tale sound of soft snoring a signal that your job was done.

You looked at the time, four in the morning. How the hell did you talk for two hours?

You open your door to use the restroom, and a body drops in. Billy. He must have been listening to your phone call.

You drag him to his bed and tuck him in.

After whispering goodnight you shut the door and wonder. Why? Why couldn't everything be like this? Safe. You quicky use the restroom before heading back to bed.

[moririki]

⤷ A BLOODSTAINED CONFESSION

RENGOKU KYOJURO X READER -> 3.6K
you patch up your fellow hashira after the hardest fight of your lives

REQUEST -> ✰
CONTAINS -> MUGEN TRAIN SPOILERS like before the cut and everything, mentions of blood + gore, so kinda angsty but definitely a fluffy ass ending, reader is a hashira but it's left ambiguous as to what element you are👍, i watched the movie two months ago so my recollection of dialogue and plot may be *slightly* off, near-death experience, idk how to write combat so i just... didn’t, reader lowkey thirsts over rengoku's back muscles and shit because why tf not, idk how injuries work aaaa
MORI'S THOUGHTS -> rengoku my beloved,,, he deserves the world,, i think i should have made this less angsty im SORRY (i rlly heard "extra fluffy" and it just went 👩🏻➡️ straight through my head huh) also i bet you guys missed me and my late-ass posting <3 but here i am!! for now!! yeahhhh!! i feel like the writing in this got a little repetitive so i apologise for that

APPARENTLY, THE DESTRUCTION OF AN ENTIRE TRAIN wasn't enough to end this mission. even with one lower six demon defeated, another much stronger one had replaced it. the arrival of akaza was a significant turning point in the battle, and one that you cursed yourself for missing.

you should have known that this mission would he more dangerous than expected when both you and rengoku had been deployed to the train, alongside three rookies. you should have known better than to let rengoku convince you to stay back and help evacuate rather than let him handle it alone.

he had been so full of confidence- squeezing your hand firmly before rushing off, leaving you feeling slightly lightheaded from the brief contact of his warm palm. you should have wished him luck, told him to be careful, anything, but he was gone before you had the chance.

you made quick work of evacuating the passengers of the derailed train, making sure that they were all confirmed to be outside of the carriages before entrusting their safety to zenitsu and nezuko. it was around when you had carried out the last passenger that you felt the ground rumble beneath your feet, coming from the other side of the embankment that you were currently placed at. 

before you gave yourself time to really think things through, you were shouting instructions to the pair of demon slayers and dashing off towards the source of the noise, hand readily placed on your sword. that was the direction that rengoku ran is all that went through your mind.

the scene that you found yourself facing did little to quell your fears. you reached two bodies first, recognising them as the hapless figures of inosuke and tanjiro. from a glance you could see the extent of their injuries, with the latter laying on the ground barely conscious. the boar-headed one could only stare at the fight happening several metres away, his shoulders slumped in defeat and swords hanging by his sides.

“there’s no opening,” he only whispered, barely audible. that much was true. even you had difficulty keeping up with the movements of rengoku and the demon that he was fighting. the fact that it had already been several minutes and that there was no clear advantage concerned you, and you unsheathed your sword.

“you two stay put, and learn what it means to be a hashira, alright?” you tried offering a brilliant smile, much like you had seen the flame hashira do so many times, but you hoped that yours didn't fall flat. from the slight relief shown on tanjiro’s worn face, though, you took that as a good sign.

without wasting another second, you rushed towards rengoku and the demon, assessing their movements. inosuke wasn’t joking when he said there wasn’t any opening, their movements equally matched. you took the chance and struck when rengoku managed to get the demon to stumble back. bringing your sword down in a vertical strike, you severed one of its arms, before taking a cursory glance back at rengoku to make sure that he was alright.

your wound did little to hinder the demon, as it simply chuckled before regrowing its limb.

“oh? another hashira? don’t tell me you think that this is a fair match,” the demon sneered as you held your sword in front of you, still nervously eyeing the blood that was beginning to drip at rengoku’s feet. it amazed you as to how he was still standing, let alone also ready to keep fighting, but you weren’t going to stop him with that amount of determination in his eyes.

“i wouldn’t say that you appearing after we had to fight an entire train was fair either, but here we are,” you glared at the demon, adjusting the grip on your sword.

“think you can hold on a little longer?” you asked rengoku, still facing the demon.

“always.” you could picture the steadfast smile on his face, lending you his strength whenever you needed it. you took a deep breath, starting your total concentration breathing and launching off of your foot, propelling yourself forwards.

you heard rengoku's footsteps right behind you, dependable as ever. when you swung your sword and sliced through, you knew that the flame hashira was there to follow through with a co-ordinated attack.

despite your best efforts, the upper six demon lived up to its status and provided to be more than a challenge for even both you and rengoku fighting him simultaneously. in fact, akaza had even managed to gain the upper hand a few times, leaving you with a cracked rib that was making it more difficult to focus and control your breathing.

but you and rengoku's big break arrived in the form of a rising sun that leeched itself into your surroundings. the glow was nothing but welcomed by you, though your demon opponent let fear flicker across its face for the first time this night as it turned foot and fled. the invisible adrenaline-fuelled strings that held you up snapped, and you felt the strength from your body sap, too spent to gove chase to akaza.

the bitter taste of defeat crushed you, numbing your senses as you barely heard the cries of tanjiro as he yelled at the retreating figure of akaza. you turned to your fellow yashira, eyes widening and senses returning as you took in the way he had slumped to the floor, head bowed as he kneeled.

"no, don't you dare," you mumbled, dropping to your knees too in front of him. panic gave your limbs a new purpose as your hands stretched out in front of you, seeking out the warmth rengoku still emitted even when mortally wounded.

the most pressing matter was the dark stain of blood that gave his uniform an unnatural sheen that was still spreading. you pressed a hand to the source of it, a large gash across his stomach that was much too deep for your liking. your other hand came to rest on his face, tilting his head up to look at you for any sort of good sign to cling onto.

"you better stay alive!" your voice was shrill, harsher than you wanted it to be, but those were factors you could hardly control more than the blood oozing from rengoku's stomach. you could see how unfocused his eyes were, and how heavy his head was when only being propped up by the waning strength in your hand. your own injuries had been forgotten, cast aside in favour for you to fear for the flame hashira's life.

and still, despite everything, the man still smiled. the blood covering half his face did little to mar its radiance. rengoku raised a shaking, bloody hand of his own, letting it fall heavy against your own as you felt your hold begin to slip.

"you're hurt too, you know." his words were more of a shaky exhale, though you heard it all the same. you felt a smile slip onto yours too as rengoku proved to still be so vigilant in the wellbeing of others.

"you don't need to remind me, shut up and save your energy," you whispered back. you didn't trust yourself to speak any louder in fear of your voice cracking.

"but.. i have to tell you something." the insistence in his eyes was back, burning into you so mich that you couldn't help but lean closer, trying to ease his burden of being audible.

"quit talking like you're dying." you were practically whispering into his ear, close enough to feel the rasp of his breath as he laughed, holding your hand tighter. his other hand came up to your own face, rough thumb brushing against the skin underneath your eye, wiping away a tear you never realised had tracked its way there.

"let me bandage you up." your voice may not have shook, but your hands definitely did as you disentangled them from rengoku's hold, urging him to put pressure on his wound while your fingers found purchase on the hem of your uniform and ripped off a strip of it. it was barely enough to cover his injury but you managed to wrap the severed cloth around his middle a few times, tying it tight and hoping that it was enough to stop the bleeding.

"just.. stay with me until backup comes, alright? you've got tell me something once we get out of here, remember?" rengoku nodded into your palm, smiling at your words as his eyelids fluttered shut. but you were close enough to still feel that he was warm, to feel the slight rise and fall of his chest as he managed to still breathe, and that gave you some comfort.

minutes felt like hours when you had to talk to fill the gap. whether it was to give rengoku something that tethered him to this mortal realm, or a way for you to distract yourself from your own pain, you onew that you would both have to tough it out a little longer, just until the others arrived.

"you know, i've always admired you." you were surprised at both his words and how clear rengoku's voice sounded. your grip on his hand tightened a little, and you leaned towards him so that your forehead pressed against his.

"this is hardly the time to say something like that, kyojuro." you tried not to laugh, the pain of your ribs starting to edge back in as the adrenaline left your body as the sun soaked your bodies.

"i just wanted you to know." you would have responded to the man if it weren't for the shouts that became all too clear. help was here, and everything was going to be okay now.

you didn't want to let rengoku out of your sight, but many insistent hands prised his body from your grip, and with barely the strength to speak there was little that you could do about it except succumb to the pain of your wounds and finally fall unconscious.

recovery was never an aspect of fighting that you looked forward to. when you finally came to, there were a few gripping moments of panic when you asked a nurse if rengoku was here, if he was alive. you had been assured that he was before the pain and medication kicked in again for a fitful sleep as your body healed.

but no matter how you were pressed back into bed, into the constraints of sleep, you never really felt like you were at rest. your mind was still racing to places your body couldn't as it pieced together the events just before you got hospitalised.

when you could finally get up without keeling over, you were stumboing your way through the hallways as stealthily as possible, leaning on walls for support and peering into rooms as you walked past, in search of your fellow hashira. your cards of luck had lined up when you stumbled upon his sleeping figure less than three rooms down from yours.

he looked a lot cleaner, still donning a serene smile even when unconscious and you felt the panic gripping your body loosen its hold. the throb of your most likely broken ribs was enough of an edge to keep you awake, and you made your way over to rengoku's bedside.

there was a convenient chair placed next to him, and you tried not to grunt in pain as you sat down in it. rengoku didn't even stir at your approach, and you resigned yourself to sitting there, studying his figure and resisting the urge to check whether he was actually breathing or not. if you focused enough, you saw the subtlest rise and fall of his chest, just enough to qualm your fears.

your concentration was broken as you heard the sliding door open again, and the hesitant voice of a nurse breaking your intense silence.

"ah, i'm sorry to interrupt but i need to change rengoku's bandages." to prove her point, the nurse raised her arm to emphasise the strips of fabric held by them. you stood up hastily, sending a cursory glance back at the still-sleeping form of rengoku.

like all matters regarding the flame hashira, you found your mouth and body working a little faster than your brain.

"it's alright, i can change them for you. i'm sure that you have plenty of other patients to tend to." the nurse nodded, though she still looked hesitant to hand you the bandages. you gave her a reassuring smile, stretching out your hand to take them. "i've had plenty of experience with this, don't worry."

the nurse appeared relieved, giving you a quick thanks before exiting and letting the door click shut behind her.

you turned your attention back to rengoku's sleeping figure only to watch him crack a single amber eye open and give you an almost sheepish smile. you couldn't help the flooding sensation of relief that drenched your bones, and you returned his gesture.

"i'm glad to see that you're alright." rengoku's eyes never left yours, and you felt yourself grow hot underneath his gaze.

"glad to see you too." you offered a hand, helping rengoku shuffle further up the bed with minimal effort on your side. despite the bandages covering a large expanse of his upper body, his grip on your hand was still stable and you bit back the fond smile threatening to bloom on your face.

luckily for you, rengoku seemed to get the message that he needed to get shirtless without you asking him, which saved you a whole lot of embarrassment. you weren't confident in your ability to look him in the eye and ask him to strip without blushing, though you did exactly that as your eyes raked over his bare skin.

littered with scars and covering taut muscle, it was hard not to let your eyes wander down his form. from the look on rengoku's face, he looked well aware of the effect that he had on you and fixing you with a practically imperceptible smirk. you were quick to ask him to turn around, and he obliged as quickly as someone with broken and bruised bones could manage.

his back was the same story, with broad shoulders and defined shoulderblades that had muscle twitching without you touching it. you sucked in a breath, way too audible for your liking, and tried not to let your hand stretch out to run your fingers down the expanse of his back. you were here to help treat him, not indulge in some fantasy of yours.

your mindset snapped back to professionalism as you grabbed hold of the fresh bandages, opting to put them on after you removed the old ones. while there was no sign of infection, you still grimaced at the bloody sight of rengoku's major wound. you tried not to show how much it had upset you, both now and in the moment, and your attention turned to your slightly trembling fingers.

you were careful to avoid where his skin was obviously discoloured from bruising, not wanting to cause him any unnecessary pain. he was warm to the touch, enough to invite you in with some false sense of confort before burning you alive. the way his back muscles jumped at your touch did little to help your concentration, but you shouldered on.

your mingld escaped you, insisting on recounting those painful minutes where rengoku was vpeeding out on the battlefield. there was a particular focus on his insistence to tell you something, and you bit your lip. surely, he would ask you at some point from now.

"how are your ribs?" rengoku's voice cut through the silence, its rasping edge acting as evidence of hiw soundly he had been sleeping earlier. while it wasn't the question you wanted him to ask you, you were never one to turn down conversation. especially from him.

"worry about yourself, kyojuro. i'm fine." your appliance of the fresh bandage meant that you would now have to be stood in front of him, a development that had your face flaming from the close proximity. silence set in, and all that distracted you from the rise and fall of his stomach was his breath tickling the sensitive skin of your neck. your eyes flickered towards the ceiling, relying on your hands to guide yourself instead.

you dared to glance down and saw rengoku’s eyes fixed on your face already. there was something about his softened features and the look in his eyes that had you scrambling to stare at the blank ceiling again. as much as you would like to retreat at every first sign if danger or confrontation, you knew that you woukd have to talk to him soon, whether it was you or him who brought up the conversation topic from that day.

taking a deep breath, you perched yourself on the edge of rengoku's bed, still maintaining a professional amount of distance from him. still close enough to spot how his smile brightens when you choose to stay. you glanced down at your fingers, twisting knots into themselves as they were placed in your lap. you almost cursed and placed them underneath you to stop that, but instead you fixed your gaze on the flame hashira's ever-present smile.

"do you remember when you said you had to tell me something? right after akaza?" rengoku straightened up a little, nodding. you gave a cursory glance to the bandages safely wrapped around him, and winced as you remembered how much blood had left him that day. 

as if he could tell what you were thinking, rengoku reached forward and took your hand in his. you sucked in a breath at the sensation of his calloused hands, wincing as your ribs ached in protest. you couldn’t bring yourself to break his stare as your fingers intertwined, and rengoku brought you slightly closer to him. the tension was palpable, and you squeezed his hand in an attempt to alleviate some of it.

“what did you want to tell me, kyojuro?” you were still closing the distance between the two of you, voice barely above a whisper because there was no need to talk any louder for him to hear you. everything about him drew you closer, and the thought of pulling away never crossed your mind. you finally stopped, inches away, staring at him expectantly.

“well, there was a chance that i was going to die that day, so i was going to be selfish and tell you that i love you."

it amazed you how he could say that with such confidence when that statement had effectively swept you off of your feet. you were well aware that you looked more than caught off guard- your eyes had widened, and your mouth probably hung open from shock. that was nothing to stop rengoku’s words, though. if anything, it only encouraged him to keep going.

"and when i said that i admire you, i meant it. i admire your strength and how willing you are to help others. i admire you when it's sunset and you're laughing and i admire the way your hands feel, especially here." he guided your hand to his face, letting it cradle his cheek as he rested his own hand at your wrist, not willing to let go. you were sinking into the warmth of his body, letting his borrowed strength keep you upright.

“and most of all, i admire you because i find your beauty striking in everything that you do.” you were silent as rengoku’s eyes searched your own, watching as his lips split as he laughed. “you’re crying again.” you raised your other hand to your cheekbone, feeling the liquid there that began its trek down the planes of your face. you wiped them away with the back of your hand, keeping yourself anchored to rengoku as you curled your fingers around his own.

you felt so light that you could float away, and you couldn’t  help but laugh and grin as you fully processed the confession of the man lying underneath you. tears still rolled down your cheeks, and you couldn’t help the bittersweet pang as you remembered exactly why he was here recovering.

“you really scared me back there, you know?”

“it wasn’t my intention.” you laughed through your sniffle, feeling his warm hand trace patterns on the back of yours. you shuffled forwards and, as best as your shared injuries allowed it, you gave rengoku a hug. while your arms were around his neck, his rested squarely on your lower back, and it was better than anything else you could imagine.

you pulled away, relinquishing the comfort of his arms in favour of looking him in the eye as you prepared what to say next. admittedly, it was a lot easier when you knew how the other person felt about you.

“you know i admire you too, rengoku, and i love you. so much.” joy rewrote itself within his eyes, and they almost glowed with how intense his emotions were after you uttered those words.

“you do?”

your yes came out as a barely audible breath before you were being snagged forwards by him again. you practically crashed against his lips, but you welcomed the sensation, pulling yourself closer to him and settling on his lap.

you sighed into the searing kiss, only truly appreciating his warmth now as you felt it spread through you. you kissed him back intensely, ignoring the dull ache of your ribs to chase the addictive feeling that you only got around him.

around the person who loved you back.

take a look at the menu - ,, ⛩ ·˚ ༘ ꒱

[crackedoutwalnut]

move me, baby

❤ Summary: You dance with the Avenger gals.

❤ Word Count: 2.5k

❤ A/N: Merry Christmas y'all, here's my gift to you. If you don't celebrate Christmas then here is my regular everyday gift to you. (PS might post a part 2 of this with Yelena, Kate Bishop, and maybe others if you have requests. I am also working on a part 2 of Debris)

--

❥ Carol Danvers

On a peaceful early winter evening, you were blindsided by your girlfriend, Carol Danvers, taking you on a surprise date. She rushed into your shared home in a rural part of Massachusetts, took one look at you, and said:

"Come on; I have something to show you."

You had looked down at the black sweatpants and the (stolen) Air Force sweatshirt you were wearing and looked up at her incredulously.

"Can I at least get changed first?"

Your black bomber jacket and blue beanie collided with your face as she jingled her car keys. "Nope, no time, let's go."

Sighing, you pulled on the garments, slipped your feet into a pair of beat-up tennis shoes, and followed your girlfriend out the door. "Are you going to explain what you want to show me?"

"Nope, that would ruin the surprise."

You huffed and folded your arms tightly over your chest. "What could be worth leaving our home in the evening during a Massachusetts winter," you sputtered, teeth already clattering together.

Carol slipped into the driver's seat of her truck and shot you a wink, "Just trust me, please?"

Sighing in defeat, you yanked your beanie over your ears and stepped into the passenger side. The truck was already started because Carol had just arrived home, so it was comfortably toasty inside the vehicle. Curling further into the warmth, you quickly slammed your door shut.

Carol began to pull out of the driveway and down the gravel road. You rested an elbow on the middle console and propped your cheek against your fist. Glancing over at your girlfriend, you found her face was just as unreadable and stoic as ever. You and Carol had been dating for around two years now, and yet you still had a hard time figuring out what the superhero was thinking at times. Unfortunately, now was one of those times.

You found it difficult to gauge where the two of you were headed, the town was in the other direction, and there was nothing really out this way. The only thing along this road was a thick patch of trees that formed a mini wooded area that people sometimes used as a camping spot.

"Where are we headed?"

Carol grinned a mysterious, infuriatingly smug grin, "I dunno," she shrugged.

You offered her a fake scowl and lightly hit her bicep, "You totally do, you dick."

Without taking her eyes off the road, Carol gently grabbed the hand you slapped her with and leaned to the side to place a kiss atop the knuckles. "Your pet names never fail to woo me, babe."

Feeling your cheeks and ears heat up at the affection, you felt your pout crack open into a grin. "Well, I do try, Carebear." Carol dropped your hand and gave you a dramatic wounded look.

"You promised you would never call me that again," she whined.

"But why not? I think it's cute."

"I've fought Thanos and won; I feel like I deserve a bit more respect."

"What about Captain Carebear? I feel like it has a nice ring to it."

She lowered you with a glare that promised a night on the couch, giggling. You raised your hands in defeat, "Okay, okay, I'm done, I promise."

"Good, because we're here," Carol replied, stopping the truck into a park. You looked out the window to see the previously mentioned patch of trees. The mini wooded area sat perched on a steep hill with a ring of wildflowers surrounding its base in the spring and summer. Between the trees, you could see a faint glow radiate from the clearing in the center. Carol quickly hopped out of the truck and ran over to your side to open the door for you. "Let's get going, or we're going to miss it."

Hopping out, you followed your eager girlfriend up the hill and into the woods. The trees, bare this time of year, swayed in the late evening breeze. A chill shook your body as the wind ruffled your hair. You stuffed your hands in your pockets and trailed quickly after Carol. Eventually, the trees thinned out to reveal a small circular clearing. You gasped.

The clearing had been decorated with strings of white fairy lights that hung between the trees bordering the open patch. A firepit prepped and ready for lighting stood off to the side next to a picnic table. A red cloth was draped over the table and accented with a small candle in the center. A blanket was laid out on the grass in the center of the clearing. Carol set down a small boombox atop a red cooler that sat next to the blanket. The blanket faced an area where the trees parted to overlook the fields below.

"What is all this?" You sputtered.

Carol yanked a disc case out of her jacket pocket and gently placed it into the disc player. "I know we have been working a lot lately, and with all these missions, we haven't gotten to go on many dates. So, I figured I would remedy that," she explained. Her expression turned uncharacteristically sheepish as she looked over at you. "Do you like it?"

Within a few quick steps, you had your arms wrapped firmly around her. "I love it, Care," you sighed dreamily before standing on the tips of your toes to plant a kiss on her cheek. "I love you."

Carol grinned and returned the kiss. "Before we eat, would you care for a dance?"

You raised an amused brow, "I thought the great Captain Marvel was above such civilian activities like dancing?" you replied, recalling back several months ago to the night you dragged her to a club. She had been insistent on having you dance with your friends rather than her. She claimed two left feet as an excuse.

The superhero shrugged, "Well, I figured if I'm terrible, no one is around to see."

"If it's any consolation, I won't be much better," you replied.

Carol offered you a tender look, "I'm sure you will be perfect," she murmured, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. Your girlfriend gently pulled you closer. Taking the invitation, you rested your head on her chest and wrapped your arms around her waist. In the background, Donny Hathaway softly crooned 'A Song for You.'

The dance was by no means graceful. There were several occasions of toe stepping and half-murmured half-giggled apologies. It was clumsy, messy, pure, and perfect. Your head remained nestled under Carol's chin as you swayed back and forth, right hands clasped and the left ones resting around each other's waists. Your girlfriend pressed a kiss to the crown of your head. With the fire crackling behind, the two of you continued to sway in the fading light of the sun.

--

❥ Wanda Maximoff

Your nighttime routine came to a crashing halt once you heard the sound of cries coming through your wall. The wall you share with your girlfriend, Wanda. Alarm bells screeched in your head as you quickly dried your face. Rushing out of the bathroom, you stumbled to get your clothes on. You blindly grabbed a black tank top and some blue and green flannel pajama pants. You walked out into the dark hallway of your shared apartment and wandered over to Wanda's door.

Your knock was soft and cautious as you called through the wood, "Wan? Is everything okay?"

There was a beat of silence then, "I am alright, Y/n. Go back to bed," Wanda's voice was muffled and shaky.

You ignored the order and leaned against the door, "Can I come in?" The was a long pause. Then, the door cracked open by a single crimson tendril. Carefully, you opened it further and slipped inside. The room was dark save for the slivers of moonlight peeking through the blinds. The dim lighting cast your girlfriend in a gray light as she lay curled in the middle of her bed.

Perching yourself on the edge of the mattress, you turned to face her. "What's up?"

Wanda gazed down at the crumpled covers with dull green eyes. "What is the point in having magic if it always fails to save those I love?"

You winced, "Wanda..."

"Don't say it is not true," her accented voice thickened as she continued, "My parents, Pietro, Vision," she looked up to meet your eyes, "How can you possibly stay with me knowing what will happen? How can I let you stay?"

Scooting forward, you sat beside her, and in one swoop, wrapped her in your arms. "I promise you; I have every intention of staying as long as I am allowed." With that, Wanda's thinly veiled facade crumbled completely. A jagged sob shot from her lips as she collapsed against your chest. Sighing, you silently pulled her closer. Your hands drifted to her lower back as you gently traced up and down her spine.

Wanda continued to shake with the force of her cries as you desperately attempted to soothe her. Finally, as if on instinct, you started to hum. It was a nonsensical tune, an incoherent song. You began to sway to the uneven, slow tempo. You continued like this, rocking the both of you back and forth for what seemed like hours, waiting. Finally, Wanda's sobs broke and faded off. Still, you did not stop. You carried on with your nonsense song and swaying until Wanda's breathing evened out. Only then did you stop, and you still did not let her go.

❥ Natasha Romanoff

Galas had never really been your thing. The music was boring and droned on for too long, the people were snobby and underhanded, and the hor'doeurves were far too small for anyone to enjoy. Despite this loathing, you loved your girlfriend, Natasha, and if she asked you to be her plus one at a gala, you would go. So, that is how you found yourself, sat on a white chaise, chin lazily resting on your fist. You had dressed in a form-fitting red wine-colored dress. The garment had a collar that revealed much of your chest and torso in a plunging V. Not to mention the slit up to your thigh that left very little of your gartered stockings to the imagination.

Most of your night was spent glued to Natasha's side, only engaging with people who directly addressed you. Most did not; after all, they saw you as little more than the Black Widow's eye candy. Considering you were not inclined to speak to them either, this did not offend you. Much. However, your plan to trail after your girlfriend all night was rudely interrupted by an old cohort of hers dragging her away. So, there you sat, sipping expensive wine and counting marble floor tiles.

Absently, you put the lip of the crystal wine glass to your mouth and tilted it back. Empty. Fuck. That meant you would have to get up to refill it, which risks the chance of bumping into someone and being forced to talk. Fully prepared for a wineless night, you flopped back against the chaise. It was not until a perfectly manicured hand offered you a full wine glass, did you stop slouching. Looking up quicker than you would ever admit, you smiled at your girlfriend. Natasha Romanov was dressed in a painfully handsome suit that matched the shade of your dress; the button-up underneath was a silky black that matched her heels perfectly.

"You're a lifesaver," you thanked earnestly.

Natasha took the empty glass from your grip. She waved a nearby waiter closer, set the wine glass onto the man's tray, and turned to face you once more. "I figured if I got you more alcohol, you would stop sulking in a corner."

Your cheeks flushed as your lips parted in offense, "I'm not sulking," you insisted.

The assassin raised a brow, "I beg to differ." Setting your face in an indignant frown, you sipped your wine. Natasha grinned before poking her bottom lip out in a mock pout. She bent down to your level and pinched your cheek. "Awww, don't worry, malyshka, you're cute when you pout."

You gently slapped her hand away and huffed, "I hate it when you do that."

Natasha stood up to her full height, "Let me make it up to you then," she extended her hand, "the night is almost over, and we haven't had a single dance."

Your fake pout morphed into a sheepish smile, "You know I'm not good at dancing, Nat."

Your girlfriend did not reply; instead, she silently kept her hand extended.

Your resolve broke rather quickly, and you found yourself accepting her invitation. The two of you walked hand and hand to the dancefloor. The song was as slow and uneventful as expected from a party like this; however, the moment Natasha's hand cupped your waist, none of that seemed to matter. Her other hand clasped your own.

Leaning forward, she guided your hand to her upper bicep. After placing a sweet kiss to the corner of your mouth, she murmured against your cheek, "Just follow my lead, okay?"

Swallowing down a bundle of nerves, you nodded. Taking that as consent, Natasha started moving. It started slowly and easily as if introducing you to the concept. The two of you swayed and rotated, slowly making a full revolution around the dancefloor. All the while, her eyes never left yours. The tension your gazes held seemed to light a fire in both your feet. Slowly, without any consideration of the tempo or tone of the song, you two started to speed up. Energy and giddy adoration sent sparks of electricity through the dance floor.

The idle swaying turned to twirls. She guided you into a quick spin. Then, with inhuman grace, she stopped your swirl and pulled you closer. Your back collided firmly with her front as she wrapped both your intertwined arms against your stomach. You gasped, face turning scarlet in surprise. She released you and quickly turned you to face her once more.

Hands returning to their starting places, the two of you stepped away from one another, stepping from one side to the next, back to the original position. Then, you snapped closer once more, chests touching and clasped hands extended fully to one side. She pulled your hands closer and guided both your arms to wrap around her neck.

Then, placing both of her arms around your waist, she twirled you around, your heeled feet fully leaving the floor. Your grin grew so big it hurt as you let out a loud, joyful laugh. She set you back down and guided you back into a dip. One hand was hooked under your leg, the other cupped your back in support. The two of you gazed up at each other, chests heaving. Your eyes were bright with pure jubilation, and your heart pounded so hard and fast that it made you want to jump and scream out your love for her. A silent chant of devotion repeats in your head like a battle cry.

Natasha kept her hold strong and sure as her green eyes glistened down at you. Her smile was so large it threatened to split her face in two, a seldom-seen expression for the Avenger. In her stare, you could see she was repeating a similar mantra in her head.

I love you; I love you, I love you, I love you.

[sabo-has-my-heart]

The Prequel of A Second Chance got me sobbing 😭. Astra! May I request for an alternative ending where the reader's best friend is Luffy. This is the time where Ace realized his mistake, the time where he broke away from Vivi once more, mopping on a park bench.

When the couple broke up, Luffy heard that Name changed apartments so he went to talk to her, taking her out to the park. But apparently, Luffy saw Ace from afar so he tried getting Name away from the male but unfortunately she saw him, her heart breaking once more. So she ran, Luffy calling out to her, Ace hearing his brother's shouts. But Name ran to the middle of a busy road, Luffy following, eyes widening when he saw a fast car approaching him, effectively making him frozen in shock. The car is about to hit him but Name pushed him out of the way, taking the hit. All of that was witnessed by Ace from the roadside. So the freckled idiot scrambled to get to her, assuring that she'll be fine, Luffy desperately calling for help, crying out. Name stared at Ace, life starting to slip away from her eyes. Please continue this with the Angst prompt #2 and 1! Thank you!

Congratulations btw 😜

Warnings: angst, death, heart break, crying (both me as a writer and the characters in the fic)

Word Count: 1460

The living room was still filled with mostly unpacked boxes as you looked around. You couldn’t stay in your old apartment, too many memories, too much pain. A knock on your door drew you out of your thoughts, brow furrowing as you walked over. Who was knocking? You’d only been here for two weeks. Opening the door you saw a familiar straw hat attached to a rather unfamiliar frown.

“Lu? W-What are you doing here? How are you here? I’ve barely told anyone where I moved to.” you asked, looking at him in bewilderment.

“Why didn’t you tell me you moved? We’re best friends.” Luffy asked, his sad, lost puppy dog eyes stabbing you in the heart, as if you needed more of that.

“Sorry Lu, I just… it was sudden, I just… I couldn’t stay at my old place after…” you trailed off, rubbing your arm as you looked away. Everyone you knew already knew what happened between you and Ace to some degree, knew that you were no longer together, knew how much pain you were in.

“But I’m your best friend. It’s been two weeks.” he repeated, still looking incredibly defeated. Tears started streaming down your cheeks as you pulled him into a tight hug.

“I’m sorry Luffy, I really am. I just… it hurts, it hurts so much and you… you’re his little brother. I just…” Luffy’s arms wrapped around you as you sobbed, the younger man pulling you into your new apartment, doing his best to comfort you.

“I’m sorry, Y/n. I didn’t mean to make you cry, I just… I care about you, you’re my best friend and you disappeared. I was scared you hated me because of what Ace did.” Luffy admitted, feeling you shake your head against his shoulder.

“I could never hate you, Luffy. No matter how stupid Ace is.” you said through the tears, taking a moment to just let him comfort you before pulling away and wiping away the tears.

“Sorry, I didn’t… I’ve just been really… It's been hard lately.” you said, the boy shaking his head.

“It’s okay, you’re sad… why don’t we go to the park. You really like it there. We can get ice cream, my treat.” Luffy offered, making you smile and nod. 

“That sounds really good right now, Lu. Thanks.” you said, the boy nodding happily. Grabbing your things, you let Luffy lead you away, giving him a small smile as he tried to cheer you up. Luffy had been your best friend for years, he always knew how to make you laugh and thankfully, despite the fact that Ace was his brother, knew how to keep his mouth shut about the older boy. As much as you hated the weather for being so beautiful when you felt so miserable, you couldn’t help but be happy that it was such a nice day as well. It meant you could hang out with Luffy and get ice cream. You could let the boy take you to the park and cheer you up. Walking down the street, you filled the poor straw hat wearing boy in on what had been going on with you in the 2 weeks he hadn’t seen you, the boy nodding and filling you in on what you’d missed, not that there was much since the boy was avoiding talking about Ace. Part of you couldn’t help but be extremely grateful that he was avoiding the topic, not wanting to hear about the man who’d broken your heart, at the same time, though, you were curious how he was doing. Had he officially gotten back together with Vivi? Did he care that you’d broken up with him? Was… was he happy? Standing on the concrete path that wound into the vibrant garden, Luffy paused.

“Uh, why do you mind if we change things up? I’m really hungry now. Could we get lunch, then come back?” Luffy asked, head whipping towards you suddenly. Staring at him, you tilted your head. It wasn’t his normal I’m hungry look, in fact he looked somewhat… panicked. Turning around, you barely registered Luffy shouting ‘no’ until your eyes rested on him. Ace was sitting on a park bench, head in his hands, three fingers wrapped around a lighter even as he tangled his fingers in his hair. You knew exactly why he was holding the lighter, you’d spent a lot of time helping him stop his self-destructive behaviors. Still, even though he looked so… crushed, you were scared, you were in pain, and you were panicking. Spinning around, you bolted, legs carrying you away as you ran into the road, cars honking at being forced to stop suddenly, Luffy close behind you.

The sound of your name being shouted caused Ace’s head to shoot up, looking towards the source of the noise to see you running into the road, followed by his little brother. Ace screamed Luffy’s name as the boy turned to see a car speeding towards him. He’d been following so close behind you, been so focused on you, that he’d failed to notice the car until it was too late. He saw you spin around, eyes filling with fear as you suddenly leapt towards Luffy. Time seemed to slow, your hands outstretched, pushing Luffy out of the way, the boy falling to the ground out of the way of the oncoming vehicle. The car was just a couple feet from you. The world seemed to stop for a second, a heartbeat as Ace saw you thrust back before everything seemed to suddenly snap back to normal as your body hit the black pavement, tumbling and bouncing a couple of times as Ace sprinted towards you. Both Ace and Luffy were by your side in an instant, carefully rolling your bloodied form over, Ace resting your head in his lap. 

“Y-Y/n… you… you’re gonna be okay.” Ace said, tears already falling down his cheeks as Luffy began to scream for help, looking around frantically. He was scared, he didn’t know what else to do as his brother held you. You smiled at Ace, slowly, weakly shaking your head.

“No, no I don’t think it will be.” you said, staring up at him.

“NO! Don’t say that! It has to be okay! I haven’t begged for your forgiveness yet, I haven’t told you how wrong I was! I… I can’t be too late, I can’t be late again!” Ace sobbed, so many thoughts, memories, rushing through his head. How late he’d been the second to last time he’d seen you.

“What’re you talking about? You got to the park first, you’re early. You’re here with me, you’re right on time.” you said, your heart aching. You still loved him, you knew you still loved him, but you couldn’t help it. You paused for a moment.

“Ace, what am I to you?” you asked, repeating one of the last questions you’d asked him.

“You’re my sun, my moon, and my stars. You’re my everything. You’re the most beautiful woman in the world and I… I love you. You’re a goddess among mortals, one who saw fit to give a fool like me a chance at happiness.” Ace said through his sobs, making you smile. Panic filled Ace’s eyes as you closed yours.

“Hey! No! Stop that! Don’t close your eyes!” Ace shouted, lightly shaking you. You looked back up at him for a moment, he could see it, he could see the light starting to fade.

“You have to let me go, Ace.” you whispered, each breath becoming harder, eyes becoming heavier.

“No! No, I can’t lose you again! Please, don’t make me lose you again.” Ace half shouted, half sobbed, pulling your broken, bloody body close.

“As angry as I was with you, as much as I wanted to hate you… you never lost me… never lost my heart.” you breathed, Ace sobbing into your shirt. Weakly you reached up, wrapping a hand around the locket you always wore.

“I know it’s going to hurt. It’s going to hurt for a long time, Luffy will probably be furious or feel guilty, maybe both, but remind him that it’ll be okay, for me…” you tugged at the locket, the delicate chain easily snapping. 

“Keep this with you always and I’ll always be by your side.” you said, holding the locket, Ace pulling back just enough to see the sparkling metal in your hand. Trembling hands wrapped around it, for you, he’d take it because it was going to be one of the last things you asked of him. Your hand fell to your side, body going limp as Ace screamed your name, shaking your body, but it was pointless, you were gone… once again, he was too late.

[ilici]

forget.

Summary: Sapnap, and Punz have unsafe sex with Y/N for the first time.

NSFW MINORS DNI !!

Warnings: Choking, degrading, hair pulling, and unsafe sex.

Word Count: 1884

Y/N plopped down the bed, as the other two men glanced back at her for a moment, before turning their attention back to the game. “You fucking cunt!” Sapnap yelled at Punz, who only laughed in response. “Come heal me you bitch.” Sapnap said, pointing at the screen and Punz scoffed, “You don’t tell me what to do.” He grumbled, glaring at Sapnap. “Heal me bitch.” He snapped, and Punz rolled his eyes before going over to his character, and healed him. “Now you owe me.” Punz said, and Y/N looked between the two. “Guys I am bored.” She spoke up, and the other two ignored her too interested in their game. “Guys?” She asked, “Punz.” She said now getting slightly impatient, and still no response. 

She groaned and whispered to herself, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” She said, “I will turn off your-” Before she could finish her sentence both Punz and Sapnap cheered as they won. “Hell yeah!” Sapnap yelled, and Punz clapped, “That’s right baby.” He said, chuckling. Y/N took this as her chance to finally get their attention, “Baby!” She said tapping Punz’s shoulder, and he looked back at her, “Hey baby, when did you get in here?” He asked, and she almost face palmed, “Just a couple minu-” “Hold that thought.” He said, turning back around as the screen counted down for a new round to start. She huffed, and looked around the room trying to find something to occupy herself.

Seeing nothing to do, she resorted to trying to get their attention the best she could. “I’m going to the store.” She said, and once again. No reply, all that was spoken was words about the game, she huffed and glared at the console. “Someone just messaged me and called me hot.” She said, hoping they’d at least turn around to see if it was true. “Yeah that’s good babe.” Sapnap said, and she scoffed, “Are you serious?” She gapped, about to scream into a pillow from frustration. “I just said someone called me hot, and you say ‘Yeah that’s good babe’ you’ve got to be joking.” She said losing her patience.

“Fuck! I’m down.” Punz groaned and Sapnap laughed, “Stop laughing you idiot, go heal me.” Punz said shoving Sapnap, who in return, shoved him back. “Stop being a little brat.” Sapnap said rolling his eyes, and Y/N just became silent and watched the interaction between the two. “I’m not Y/N, she’s the brat.” Punz said defensively, and Sapnap just laughed, “Shut up.” He said, shaking his head, while Punz was finally healed by another teammate. “After this round we can play zombies.” Sapnap said, and Y/N threw her hands up in defeat once she heard that. “Fuck.” They said simultaneously, as the word ‘Defeat’ showed up on screen. “Why didn’t you defuse the bomb?” Punz asked and Sapnap looked at him, “Why didn’t you defuse it?” He asked, and the two started bickering once more.

“For fucks sake!” Y/N yelled and caught the attention of the two boys, “What’s your problem?” Punz asked, and Y/N just shook her head, “Nothing, just go back to your stupid game.” She said, and the two just looked between each other before turning back to their game. “You’re actually fucking joking, right?” She said dumbfounded, “I was joking!” She yelled defeatedly, and Sapnap went to choose the zombie’s option. She sighed and got up, “Fine then, I’ll just go fuck myself then.” She mumbled, and Punz snapped his head towards her. “You’ll what now?” He asked darkly, and Sapnap looked between the two confused. “What?” Y/N asked, shifting her weight from her left and right.

“Get your fucking ass over here now.” Punz growled out, and Sapnap cocked an eyebrow, “What did she say?” He asked, genuinely confused, “Little miss priss over here said she would go and fuck herself.” Punz said, as he gripped her wrist once she got in arms length. Pulling her roughly, she nearly tripped as she was pulled, “Is that so?” Sapnap asked, and Y/N quickly shook her head, “No. I was just trying to get your attention because you two were playing the game.” She mumbled out, trying to defend herself. Sapnap scoffed and grabbed her face, “We were joking, we could hear you the whole time. We just wanted to see how long it would take for you to snap.” He said, his grip on her face tightening.

“It appears that you didn’t snap and instead wanted to masturbate.” Punz added on, and Y/N shook her head, “No, I was just joking.” She said, looking between the two. “You know the rules shortcake, and you were just about to break one.” Punz said, moving his free hand up to her throat. “You weren’t going to masturbate without our permission were you?” He cooed, and Y/N shook her head, and Sapnap just chuckled at this. “Your mouth said differently honey.” He mentioned, tracing his thumb over her lips before forcefully shoving his thumb inside her mouth. Her eyes widened as he’s never done this, and she looked at Punz for help. “Suck.” He ordered, and Y/N hesitantly started sucking on his thumb. “Such a good girl.” Punz cooed, letting his hand travel up and tangle into her H/C strands.

Y/N’s knee’s buckled beneath her, and Sapnap caught her with his free arm, “Are you this sensitive?” He asked, amazed at how sensitive she could be. Y/N blushed and pushed his thumb away from her mouth before looking away. “Shut up.” She muttered under her breath, and Sapnap glared not liking that she pushed his thumb away and told him to shut up. Punz took notice to this and tugged at the strands, and Y/N winced, “You’re being a brat Y/N.” Punz pointed out, and Y/N whined quickly apologizing, and Punz smirked releasing his grip on her hair. “You’re being punished for almost breaking a rule.” Sapnap whispered in her ear, and Y/N felt her body grow weak from his words. 

Y/N felt her body being picked up, and her exposed skin burned at their touch, “Prepare yourself doll.” Sapnap said, as she was now thrown onto the middle of the bed. “Undress now.” Sapnap demanded, and she took off Punz’s hoodie, and the sleeping shorts she wore. “No undergarments? How risqué of you.” Punz teased, and Y/N covered herself up shyly. “Why are you hiding? We’ve seen it before, hell we’ve seen it for years now.” Sapnap said, while moving her hands away as the two stripped their clothes off. Reaching for the condoms, Y/N reached out and grabbed Punz’s wrist before he could, “No, no condoms.” She shyly muttered, not making eye contact. The two boys raised their eyebrows, “Are you sure?” Sapnap asked, and Y/N thought about it before she nodded.

“I am sure.” She reassured herself and the other two. Sapnap and Punz shared a glance before Punz crawled to her, opening her legs. “God you’re beautiful.” He groaned out, before he carefully slid himself inside of her. “What a pretty slut you are.” Sapnap spoke up from the side, and Y/N gritted her teeth as this felt completely different without a condom. “You’re going to be good and make me forget what safe sex feels like. Alright?” Punz whispered to her, biting on her ear while Y/N whined nodding her head. “Such an obedient cum dump.” Punz cooed, as he thrusted up into her, loving the way she felt. “God this feels so good.” Punz groaned out, and Sapnap watched enviously. “It appears someone is so sensitive that they are close to their climax already.” Sapnap said, with a sly smirk.

Y/N had her back arched, and was digging her nails into Punz’s shoulders letting out incoherent words. “We can’t understand you slut, your moans are overpowering your voice.” Sapnap smirked and watched as her eyes rolled back. “Fuck she’s coming.” Punz said, as he felt her clenching around him multiple times. Thrusting into her roughly, he wrapped his hand around her throat, feeling himself nearing as well. “I’m going to cum so deep inside of you.” He grunted out, as his thrusts became sloppy. Thrusting one last time, Punz came deep inside of Y/N and she shivered at the feeling. Pulling out, Punz groaned as he fell to the side, and Sapnap licked his lips. “Are you ready baby?” He asked aligning himself, and Y/N just merely nodded her head.

Slowly, Sapnap entered and he hissed at the new feeling. “Holy shit.” He muttered under his breath, and Punz chuckled, “It’s like a whole new feeling isn’t it?” He said, and Sapnap nodded chuckling. “It feels so good.” Sapnap said, before he pulled all the way out, and slammed back in. Y/N let out a loud moan, arching her back as she was still a bit sensitive from her last orgasm. Repeating this action, Sapnap felt himself nearing his climax faster than usual. “Fuck.. such a little slut for us.” He groaned out, before he pulled out and grabbed Y/N’s hips turning her around on her hands and knees forcefully. Gripping onto her hips tightly, making sure he’d leave bruises he slammed back in, going deeper in this new position. Crying out, Y/N gripped the sheets tightly, as Punz reached under her and started toying with her clit.

“Please.. I can’t.” Y/N begged feeling herself growing close, “Go ahead.” Punz told her, and Y/N listened letting herself cum on Sapnap’s dick. Sapnap groaned once she started clenching around him, and he soon came deep inside of her. Slowly pulling out, he fell to the other side of her, while Punz got up to go get a wash cloth as both of their cum started leaking down her thighs. Coming back, he washed her up, and washed himself, giving the rag to Sapnap who cleaned himself as well. “What made you decide to go bare?” Sapnap asked, and Y/N looked between the two, “I started on birth control last month, and finally decided to do it bare.” She said, trying to catch her breath as her words were slightly muffled from her face being in the bed. “Well in my opinion, I think we should do that more often.” Punz said, and Sapnap chuckled before agreeing. “Now come on, let’s go shower. We’re all gross.” Y/N said, getting up and wincing once she got off the bed. 

Chuckling, Punz picked her up and carried her to the bathroom, “You okay there?” He asked, and Y/N rolled her eyes, “I am fine.” Sapnap who was behind them laughed, “Sure, you almost fell as soon as you got off the bed.” He said, and Y/N hit his chest, “If you two weren’t so rough with me then that wouldn’t have happened.” She clarified, and the other two just snorted, “That’s the point of forgetting about safe sex.” Punz said kissing her cheek as Sapnap started up the shower. “Just get in the damn shower.” Y/N said flustered, and Punz put her down, letting her get in the shower, the other two following.

[arvinsescape]

Too busy.

A/N: I am so sorry this took a while to get out, but here it is! I hope you all enjoy, it is based off a request that @tomhollandlol sent me and I hope you also enjoy and thanks again for your patience. I did change a couple of things but stuck to the basic concept, I hope you don’t mind 💕

Request: Angst one shot, they have 2 kids together, different scenarios, he never pays attention and does something else and is always too busy.

Warnings: Bit of swearing, mentions of sex.

W/C: 4.2K

This last six months had been the hardest she’d ever had to go through, in her entire six years of marriage to Tom, this had been the hardest. Having two kids on top of that didn’t make it any easier, she felt alone, more alone than she had in her life, she was bringing up two children, seemingly on her own. Their eldest was almost four and their youngest was nine months old and teething, which meant she cried a lot.

Tom had been there for most of their journey, he shared the work load and it made life easier but this last six months haven’t ben the case. He became busier, he had two projects going at once and whilst she would happily make allowances for his career it was becoming too much for her. She hated the assumption that things should be easy because she was a stay-at-home mum but that was far from the truth. The children were so young that they needed her constant and undivided attention.

She was struggling to give two children her undivided attention and recently she’s become run down, completely running of fumes. She lives her life in a constant state of tired, she barely does a thing for herself, hell even a shower seemed like a hard task half of the time and Tom? Well half of the time she wasn’t a hundred per cent sure exactly what it was he was doing. She wondered how he hadn’t noticed, how he hadn’t seen the tiredness she constantly displayed.

Half of the mums at school had noticed, she saw it in their looks of pity when she arrived with her son, looking run down and disheveled because she couldn’t make herself look presentable. She didn’t have the time because either her baby would need something or her four-year-old which left no time for herself in a morning.

“Tom?” She shouted as she bounced Ava on her hip.

“Yeah?” He shouted back from where ever he was in the house.

“Can I get your help please?”

“Y/N, I’m busy.”

“You’re always busy.” She muttered to herself as she gave up and tried to soothe Ava on her own whilst making Noah’s lunch.

**

“Tom, I’ve just cleaned there.” She spoke, almost in disbelief as she watched her husband place his golf clubs in the middle of the hall.

“I’ll move them in a bit.” He shrugged. “I need to read over some stuff.” He said as he wandered down the hall and into his office. She couldn’t help herself as she flipped him off on his way, thankful he couldn’t see.

**

“Tom? Is there any chance you can take Noah to school tomorrow? I need to take Ava to an appointment and I don’t wanna be late again.”

“I can’t darling, I’m busy.” He answered, eyes on his laptop.

“Tom, please? I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.” She tried and Tom looked up at her.

“Y/N/N, I am really busy right now. Just take Noah into school earlier and then you won’t be late.” He said and she looked at him in disbelief.

“Right, yeah, okay.” She huffed and left his office, shutting the door with enough force to let him know she was upset with him.

**

“Daddy! Look what I did.” Noah screamed as he made his way through the door.

“I’ll have a look in a bit my love, I’m busy at the moment.” Tom answered and their son huffed in response.

**

“Daddy!” Noah shouted as he ran into his father’s open arms. “Can we go for ice-cream?” He asked excitedly.

“Ask mummy, I have some work to do.” Tom said and Noah visibly deflated.

“She already said no, she’s too tired.” Noah mocked his mother’s voice.

“Well I expect she is tired.” Tom said, they never bad mouthed each other in front of the children. It wasn’t something either of them did.

“Why? She doesn’t work.” Noah folded his arms over his chest and Tom looked at him in a scalding manner.

“That’s not nice. Your mummy works really hard to make sure everything and everyone is okay. Don’t talk about her like that.”

“But she doesn’t do anything. She looks after us, my friends mummy works and she’s fine. Everyone at school has said it, she has nothing to be tired about, that’s what my friend’s mummy’s say.” Noah huffed, he had a bit of a temper streak. Tom’s heart plummeted, where people really shit talking his wife? To the point his son had become subject to it.

“That’s enough now Noah.” Tom said as he set his son down.

“Whatever. You’re always too busy and mummy’s always too tired. You’re both boring.” He snapped before running into his bedroom and slamming the door. This made Tom’s heart shatter, they were both trying to do the right thing. Tom really contemplated his life choices and in hind sight he wished he’d done something sooner, especially with the conversation he was about to have that evening.

**

“Tom, you are never here.” She exclaimed, a small comment having sparked an argument that had her struggling to keep her voice down.

“I’m busy. Look in a couple of months I’ll be here.” He said and she huffed folding her arms over her chest.

“You’re always busy Tom. I can’t remember the last time you put us first.”

“I’m doing this so I can take some more time off, Y/N, I don’t wanna be that guy but I earn the money, I can’t just stop working.” He snapped and she felt her anger rise in response.

“That’s bullshit,” she hissed out and he was taken aback by her tone. “You were in some of the biggest movies going a few years back. We are not struggling for money, that is some bullshit excuse for the fact that you’re not around.” She hissed, voice laced in nothing but venom.

“Look, I have a week off starting tomorrow, I don’t need to be anywhere and I won’t have any responsibilities, I can help.” He offered and she sighed, anger leaving her with nothing but defeat.

“I hope so.” She shrugged and Tom looked at her carefully.

“What do you mean?” He asked, there was something in her tone that scared him.

“I mean,” she sighed. “I can’t keep doing this, I’m tired and I need more from you.” She didn’t sound angry just tired and Tom felt his heart drop.

“Meaning?” He asked tentatively.

“Meaning, I can’t carry on doing this and next time it’s going to be a very different conversation. A conversation about us that I really don’t want to have but it’s come to that.” She sighed out before turning on her heel and leaving Tom with his thoughts. His heart shattered, had he really been so neglectful?

Tom was free for a week, which helped slightly because their son was always itching to spend time with his father. She thought this would mean that she got a little respite after their conversation the previous night but that’s not how it panned out.

“Y/N?” Her husbands voice echoed through the halls and she couldn’t help but roll her eyes at his tone. She shouted back her location within the house and few seconds later he appeared. “I need you to look after Noah.” He said, their son hot on his heels, she furrowed her brows.

“Why?” She couldn’t help but asked and Tom gave her a sympathetic look.

“I need to get some of this work done and as much as I love him he’s distracting me.” Tom spoke and she couldn’t help but huff, it was always something.

“I thought you were off this week?” She couldn’t help but ask, tone clipped and she instantly regretted using it in front of Noah.

“I was but then my agent emailed this morning and I now have a load of work to do.” He said, there was a sadness laced in his tone but she didn’t care. She passed him feeling bad about it, she needed him to put them first and recently he hasn’t.

“Fine, whatever.” She grumbled out a response and Tom felt awful, he could see how tired she was, he wouldn’t deny that. But these two projects were taking over and he felt just as tired trying to keep up. To anyone else looking in they would have said the couple needed to sit down and have a chat but of course relationships are more complex than that and the couple were still waiting to have said chat.

“Baby, I’m sorry.” Tom spoke and she sighed.

“It’s whatever Tom. He has some schoolwork he should be doing anyway.” She said, tone defeated and Tom sighed before nodding and making his way back into his office. He wanted to say something but he was afraid to start an argument in front of the children, the two had agreed that their arguments would be kept private, the children didn’t need to know about them.

She spent the afternoon trying to split herself between helping Noah with his math’s work and Ava with her teething. Noah was a bright child when it came to English and Art but Math’s? He was no good at and required a lot of help. She found herself growing frustrated the more she went through the work, she felt guilty but she was so tired she couldn’t help it.

“No, Noah. I’ve shown you this now. Come on, you need to work with me.” She said and instantly regretted the words.

“Mummy, I am trying but I don’t get it.” Noah said back as Ava burst into another flood of tears. She jumped up from her seat, Noah making a noise of annoyance at her actions. She scooped Ava into her arms and rocked her, it was making no difference, the ache in the child’s gum causing ample discomfort.

“Ava come on, shh, it’s okay. Calm down.” She said as she hastily scanned the living room in search of her teething ring. Her eyes landing on the object and she hastily picked it up before handing it to her daughter. She placed the ring in her mouth and instantly her screams calmed to small cries. Once she was settled enough, Y/N placed her back in her high chair and proceeded to help Noah.

She was tired by the end of the evening, her only job being left was to put Noah to bed and he just wouldn’t settle either. He wasn’t great at bed times, he was an alert child who found it hard to switch off for the day.

“Mummy, can we please have another story?” He asked and she felt herself deflate, all she wanted was to have a bath and go to bed.

“But sweetheart, I’ve already read two.” She tried to reason and Noah threw his book onto the floor which made her sigh out as she retrieved it.

“Please mummy? I’m not even tired, can’t I just play with my toys?” He asked, arms folded across his chest and she wasn’t prepared for what was to come next, signs of his temper tantrum approaching and fast.

“No sweetheart, you have school tomorrow.” She sighed out and she watched as her sons face turned into a rather sour expression.

“So? I’m not tired. How can I sleep if I’m not tired? You’re supposed to read to me.” He said and she sighed.

“Baby, mummy’s tired herself okay.” She said, she really didn’t have it in her to stay awake much longer.

“Then get daddy to read to me.” He huffed and she nodded before standing up and making her way into her husbands office, a soft knock pulling him from his work.

“Come in.” Tom’s voice spoke, eyes still trained on his emails.

“Tom? Can you read to Noah please?” She asked, hopefulness lacing her voice, her husbands eyes finding her tired ones. There was something about the way she looked tonight, the way she looked like she was struggling to keep herself stood that reality hit the man hard.

“Of course baby.” Tom said as he stood and he didn’t miss the flash of shock grace his wife’s face. He felt immensely guilty, he hadn’t been there for past six months and he could see what that was doing to her. “Have you eaten?” Tom asked and she shrugged.

“Bits but I’m not hungry.” She said as she rubbed at her red and tired eyes. Tom felt like an utter dick, he’d taken on too much and left his wife to pick up the pieces.

“You should eat.” Tom said and she shrugged.

“I just want to go to bed Tom.” She whispered out and he nodded in response before making his way over to her and kissing her forehead before pulling her into a hug.

“Then go sleep love. I’ve got Noah.” He spoke and she felt relieved, completely and utterly relieved, she didn’t even want the bath anymore, that could wait until tomorrow. She didn’t miss the excitement in her sons voice as Tom made his way into his room and she smiled before practically face planting the bed and falling asleep.

**

It was eight o clock in the morning when she woke, she felt sluggish as she grabbed for her phone and looked at the time. Heart beat picking up far too quickly for her bodies tired state.

“Shit.” She exclaimed as she rushed out of bed and into Noah’s room, only to find the bed empty. “Noah?” She shouted as she ran down the stairs, her mind was racing, she was running late. How had she slept for so many hours? And how had it gone interrupted?

“In here mummy.” Noah shouted back as she raced into the living room.

“I’m sorry, I’m up, I just need to get changed and then we can set off for school.” She rambled as ran into the kitchen to sort out his breakfast.

“Darling, slow down.” She heard Tom’s voice and she spun around to look at her husband, he had bags under his eyes and his hair was a slight mess. How could he still look so good? She wished she could look as good as he did, even tired.

“What?” She looked around the kitchen, evidence that Noah had already had his breakfast. His school bag filled with the books for the day and his packed lunch.

“I’m gonna take him in. Go and chill out.” He spoke as he pulled her into his chest and kissed the top of her head.

“Thank you.” She sighed and Tom nodded.

“I’ll take Ava and then you can get some rest if you need it, I’ll be back soon. I’ll do the shopping, should be an hour or so.” Tom spoke and her heart soared at his words.

“Did Ava sleep through?” She asked, realizing she’d not been woken up by her crying last night.

“Yeah, a few times. I slept in there, wanted you to catch up on some sleep.” He admitted and she could have cried with the happiness the revelation brought her. “We need to talk when I get home.” He spoke and she nodded. “Okay, well I’ll see you in an hour.” He said and she nodded before kissing her son good bye and making him promise to behave.

**

An hour and a half later and she’d had a relaxing bath, one that she was more than thankful and ready for. She’d even managed to have a hot cup of tea, a stark difference to the cold ones she was used to. She’d even managed to read a chapter of her new book, she still felt like she could sleep for a while but overall relaxed and content.

“Hey.” Tom said as he leant against the doorway to their bedroom. She placed her book down and looked at him.

“Hey,” she said somewhat awkwardly, she wasn’t sure how this conversation was about to go.

“I’ve just put Ava down, will probably give us a good hour or so.” He spoke and she nodded. “So,” he sighed. “We should talk.” He continued and she nodded again, words not being able to find her, she needed to know how he feeling, what he was going to say first.

“I’m sorry, I want you to know that. I’ve been so wrapped up in what I’ve been doing that I haven’t noticed what I was doing to you. I’m so used to you being the one who has everything together, who know exactly what to do that I thought you didn’t need my help as much as you do.” He started and she opened her mouth to speak but no words came out before he beat her to it.

“I know that’s not an excuse, it’s poor on my behalf and I’m sorry. You and the children, you mean everything to me. All I want in life is for you guys to get everything you want and need and I’m sorry that I’ve been the way that I have, there are no excuses.” He said and she felt her heart lift, the two could fix this, fix what has been happened. “But I need something from you.” He spoke and she furrowed her brows as she waited for him to continue.

“I need you to be honest, I need you to tell me what it’s been like to be you. I don’t want you to spare my feelings, I want you to let it all out. I’m listening now, darling, I need to know what this has done to you, how I can make it right.” He said and she nodded slightly before sitting up in bed properly, her back against the head board as she carefully played with her wedding ring. Tom sat carefully on the edge of the bed, he needed to hear what she was about to say.

“Tom, you’ve just not been here.” She started with her biggest problem. “Even when you are in the house it’s like you just expect me to do everything. You expect your clothes to be washed, dried and ironed, you expect your dinner on the table and I never used to mind. You would always say thank you but recently you haven’t and it made me wonder whether or not you just expect it of me, that it’s my job.” She started and Tom kept quiet, he wanted her to continue.

“Tom, you used to be so attentive.” She said as she reached over and took his hand in her own. “You always used to be here, know when I needed help without having to ask. I don’t mind doing all of those things for you, I really don’t but when you don’t get a thanks it feels a little like you’re being used.” She continued and his heart shattered, he would never intentionally use her, he loved her, loved his family.

“That brings me onto the kids, Tom they need so much attention. They want me to split myself in two half of the time and I can’t, it’s impossible. They both need so much from me and given Ava teething I don’t even get a full night’s sleep. I am constantly trying to run off energy that I just don’t have. It wasn’t so bad when Noah was a baby, we took shifts, you helped. Recently though Tom, it’s been me that gets up and tends to her, me that sacrifices sleep.”

“I know that might sound selfish but when you have a partner, a husband who’s supposed to help with all that it gets tiresome. I found myself getting so angry with you, I wanted to be you, I wanted to bury my head in paperwork and think of nothing else. There were days when I honestly wanted nothing to do with you, I didn’t want to be around you because everything little thing you did angered me.”

“I’ve been so tired, my mind is never where it should be. I’m always doing stupid things because I’m so tired. I never feel like I get anything back from you. I’m too tired to have an evening to myself when they have gone to sleep, I just want to sleep myself. I’m always running around after them, something you barely do anymore, sure you play with them but when was the last time you had to deal with one of Noah’s meltdowns?”

“I get that you have a lot on, I get that two projects keep you busy and if we didn’t have kids it wouldn’t affect me as much but we do and it does. I need you to be there for me Tom, I can’t keep doing this alone, I can’t.” She ended her rant and Tom felt awful, he was so angry with himself, she didn’t even sound angry anymore. She sounded like she’d accepted it and she was just tired with the situation, somehow he wishes she was screaming at him right now.

“I’m sorry princess. There are no words, no excuses for what I’ve done. I’m sorry I made you feel like that, it was never my intention. You mean the world to me, you and the kids. Things are gonna change, I promise.” Tom said, he knew now that actions spoke louder than words, it wasn’t what she wanted him to say it was what she wanted him to do.

“On top of all of that Tom, I can’t remember the last time we did anything as a couple. Most of the time I’m asleep when you get to bed, I can’t remember the last time we touched each other, it’s just draining. It all adds up.”

“I know darling. I promise things are gonna change. Why don’t you pick a film and I’ll be back in a minute?” He said and she nodded as she flicked the TV on and got herself comfortable in bed. She couldn’t remember the last time she had a day in bed. Tom returned almost ten minutes later and she wondered where he had gotten to.

“Where did you end up?” She asked as he made his way into the bedroom, two bottles of water in hand.

“Well, I grabbed these, I made sure Ava was still okay and the baby monitor is working properly and I had to send a couple of emails.” He admitted and her heart dropped, after everything she’d just said? He took in her expression as he placed the water down and jumped into bed with her. “Not like that darling, I’ve passed one of my projects onto Harrison and Harry, they’re gonna finish it up.” He said and she relaxed. “I promised things will change and they will.”

**

“Daddy!” Noah shouted as he ran to his father, who was there at the school gate to pick him up, Y/N right there next to him. It had been a while since they both picked him up. Ava was a little more settled today which made things a little easier.

“How was school?” Tom asked enthusiastically and then almost cried when he realised how long it had been since he asked that question.

“Amazing!” Noah gushed as he looked at his mother. “Mummy, you look so pretty.” He spoke and she laughed.

“She always looks pretty.” Tom defended her and Noah nodded.

“Yeah, but she looks extra pretty today.” Noah said. It had been a while since she was able to put effort into her appearance and she felt better for doing it. Even if it was only a nicely picked out outfit and tamed hair. “Can we go for ice cream?”

“You my boy have an obsession.” Tom laughed as he poked his son playfully. “But yeah, I think that’ll be a good idea.” Tom said as he looked to his wife who nodded in response. She didn’t miss the looks of jealousy thrown her way when they saw her with Tom.

“So what did you do this afternoon?” Noah asked his parents as he was being strapped into the back of the car.

“We watched a film.” Tom stated, it was an absolute lie, they’d gotten half an hour into the film before Tom had his head between his wife’s legs. It had been a while since they’d done anything like that and when they both realised that fact. When they both realised how long it had truly been since they’d done anything, they spent most of the afternoon catching up with each other’s bodies. In between tending to their baby of course, they both felt energized after their endeavors between the sheets.

“Was it good?”

“Absolutely amazing.” Y/N answered as Tom slipped into the driver’s seat, she took his hand in hers as she held it in her lap.

“Can we watch another film when we get home?” Noah asked excitedly.

“Sure, how about we go and spend the afternoon doing something fun and then we can go out for tea, go home and watch a film?” Tom suggested and Noah fist bumped the air.

“Yes! Does this mean you two aren’t going to be boring now?” Noah asked and Y/N and Tom found themselves laughing.

“Yes, this means we aren’t going to be boring anymore.”

[sunflowervolvimp3]

42 Hours (II)

Content: part 2 to an enemies to lovers au in which Harry and Y/N are forced into a cross country road trip to make it to their best friends’ wedding on time!! includes a karaoke bar in Cleveland, Ohio, sharing of motel rooms (oh my god there was only one bed 👁️👁️), and a lesbian wedding in the Catskills

Warnings: language, alcohol, NSFW content, making fun of Nebraska and The Notebook

Pairing: Harry Styles x reader

Word Count: 32k

A/N: okay can I just say that I am so glad this is finally done. I have been working on this fic for over a month!!! the entire thing is over 51k in length!!!!!! my word doc is almost 100 pages!!!! this was meant to be a fun story about enemies to lovers stuck on a road trip!!!!! what happened!!!! but thank you guys so much for all the love and support and interest in this story <3 I was really nervous about splitting it up (which looking back was a good choice because again. it’s so long.) but you all showed so much love for the story and the characters!!!! I’d like to give a special shout out to miss andrea @adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy​ and miss alex @darthstyles​ for proof reading, and miss andrea again for this pretty header image!! if you’re looking for any good reads after this, I highly recommend checking out their masterlists!! and as always, if you like this fic, please like it AND reblog it!! and shoot me a message about it!! feedback is always appreciated, not just by me, but by ALL content creators, and is the main motivation for us to create more for you all to enjoy!!

{masterlist}

{masterlist}

here is everyone’s wedding looks!! and HERE is a lil moodboard of Jo and Laure’s wedding so you can sense the vibes!!

also!! if you want to set the mood for a road trip with Harry, here is a link to the playlist that is mentioned and referenced in this fic!!

It’s almost instantaneous, Y/N notices, how quickly and easily she and Harry fall into a rhythm of friendship. From the moment she wakes up the next morning to a blue sky, the storm long passed, and Harry holding out a cup of black coffee for her, the stress and anxiety of the previous day is gone. There’s no watching herself around Harry, biting her tongue to stop herself from snapping over every small motion he makes as he fidgets in the driver’s seat.  There’s no irritation caused by the way he taps his fingers on the steering wheel, or how he asks any question that crosses his mind, speaking out his random chain of thoughts just as often.  

The thing that Y/N’s come to realize is that Harry is so much more interesting than she’d ever thought. He’s certainly more interesting than the endless fields of corn that whip by her window as he drives down the interstate.  His jokes are dumb, but he says them with such a big grin on his face that she can’t help but laugh.  His comments are strange, but Y/N finds herself enjoying the weird words that slip from his mouth without being caught by a filter.

“If we were in a Children of The Corn situation,” Harry begins, raising his voice to be heard over the sounds of Simon and Garfunkel. “Do you think you’d be able to outsmart the cult?  Or would you get sacrificed to He Who Walks Behind the Rows?”

Y/N half chokes on the bottle of water she’d just raised to her lips, and coughs the liquid from her lungs as she turns to give Harry an incredulous look. “Excuse me?”

“We’re in Nebraska. That’s where it takes place, right?” Harry asks, glancing at Y/N from behind his sunglasses. “There’s, like, a weird child cult, and they kill all the adults in town for the corn harvest, or something, and then this couple on a road trip discovers them, and tries to stop them.  Do you think you’d be able to?”

“Do I think I’d be able to stop a child cult?  Or would I get sacrificed to their weird corn god?  That’s what you’re asking me?” Although she can’t help but snort at the ridiculousness of the question, her mind is already appraising the situation Harry’s proposed. “I think I’d be able to stop them.  They’re just kids, right?  You just can’t be afraid to—you know—” Y/N drags her thumb across her throat, and Harry quirks up an eyebrow at her casual response.

“You’d kill a bunch of kids?”

“If the kids were evil and wanted to kill me?  Absolutely.” Y/N leans her head back on the head rest, still keeping her eyes locked on Harry. “Wouldn’t you?”

Harry lifts one shoulder in response. “I don’t know.  I’d try to reason with them, I think.”

Y/N extends a finger gun at him, clicking her tongue in sync with the motion. “And that’s why they’d sacrifice you and not me.”

Harry laughs, shaking his head slowly as he turns his attention back to the road. “Lovely. Wouldn’t you try to save me?”

Y/N hums, pretending to think the question over. “That depends on how annoying you’ve been that day.”

“You’re such a sweetheart, Y/N, you really are.” Harry laughs more, but stops abruptly as he spots a sign to the right of the road. “Oh!  There’s a souvenir shop at the next exit!”

A groan falls from Y/N’s mouth as her head flops back, already sensing defeat. “No, Harry, you don’t need another keychain—”

“You don’t know that! Maybe I could get a corn stalk keychain!”

…

“You know, I could drive for a bit.  If you’d like.”

Harry looks up at Y/N with an apprehensive gaze, his nimble fingers halfway through attaching a new silver key chain in the shape of Nebraska to his key ring. “What?”

“You’ve been driving for three days straight.” Y/N leans over the passenger side of the car, resting her arms on the sun-warmed roof. “I could drive.  I know how to; I just don’t do it in L.A. because the traffic is annoying. But the interstate is practically empty, so…”

“Uh, no offense, Y/N, but…” Harry opens the drivers door, a small smile curving the corner of his lip. “No one drives Stevie but me.  And besides, she’s a stick.  Have you ever driven one?”

“Well, no.” Y/N admits, catching her bottom lip between her teeth. “But you could show me.”

Harry inhales deeply, glancing around the souvenir shop parking lot.  Y/N can tell he’s surveying the area, searching for a reason to say no, but as far as she can tell, there isn’t one.  There are no other cars around, and the area is mostly flat, giving her a good space to practice driving in.  With a defeated look on his face, Harry exhales sharply and gives a quick nod as he takes a step back from the driver’s side. “Fine.  Get in.”

Y/N and Harry swap sides in the car, although Y/N is much more enthusiastic about it than Harry is. From the moment she climbs in and begins adjusting his seat, a pained look comes over Harry’s face, making her roll her eyes.

“Oh, come on.  You’re a giant, Harry, I have to adjust things so I can reach the pedals.” Y/N scoffs, reaching up to adjust the rear view mirror. “You can put them all back later.”

“Yeah.” Harry sucks in another breath before pushing his sunglasses up into his chestnut curls. “Okay, so…there’s three pedals on the floor.  The right one is gas, the middle is the brake, and the left is the clutch. And then here—” Harry takes Y/N’s right hand and places it over the gear shift. “This is how you shift.  There’s six gears, right?  And their use depends on the speed you’re going, so you’re going to start with one—” His hand squeezes hers as he shifts the gear shift over and up to the left with ease. “Which is here.  Here’s two—” He shifts the gear shift down to the left, and continues to move it as he speaks. “Three.  Four.  Five. And reverse.  Got it?”

“I think so.” Y/N nods, her hand flexing beneath Harry’s large palm.  His rings feel cool against her warm skin, and she has to admit, it’s not the worst feeling in the world. “Up left, down left, up middle, down middle, up right, down right.  Right?”

“Right.” Harry lifts his hand off hers to point towards her feet, which are sitting on the carpet cover in front of the pedals. “You want to start with your foot pressed firmly on the clutch, the one—yeah.  There, to the left.  Keep it pressed there.  Is it pressed there?”

“Since you first told me to press it, yeah.” Y/N furrows her brow in concentration, which is caused both from learning how to drive manually, and the effort it takes to stop herself from laughing at the nervousness in Harry’s voice. “Now what?”

“Take off the parking brake.” Harry pulls the lever down himself, making sure Y/N is focused on her other movements. “And the car is in neutral, so you can turn the key in the ignition.” He holds out his keys towards her.

Y/N takes the cool metal from his hands, quickly finding the right key for the Impala and slipping it in. The car roars to life, a sound which is now familiar to her ears. “Okay.  There.”

“Good.” Harry pauses for a moment before reaching across Y/N’s body and buckling her seatbelt, which she had forgotten in the excitement to drive. “Safety first.” He sits back in the passenger seat, fixing his seatbelt across his own body. “I have a feeling we’ll be needing these.”

“Oh, shut up.” Y/N sticks her tongue out at him, her eyebrows and nose wrinkling as she makes a face. “What do I do now?”

“Now…” Harry fidgets with his seatbelt again as he moves forward in the passenger seat, one hand bracing against the dash as he directs her. “Press the clutch and the brake at the same time, like that.  Now move the gear shift into first gear.”

Y/N does as he says, pushing the gear shift over and up to the left.  It takes much more pressure for her to move it without Harry’s help, she notes, but doesn’t let the effort show on her face. “Then?”

“Take your foot off the brake.” Harry instructs, caution laced through his voice. “And slowly—slowly! —release the clutch as you press down gently on the gas.”

“Okay…” Lifting her left foot first, Y/N does her best to match the motion with her right foot, pressing down at the same pace as she lifts the other.  Her movement, however, isn’t as smooth as she wants it to be, and the car lunges forward in a choppy motion.

“Careful!” Harry says loudly, twisting his body to face Y/N as he continues bracing himself.  His entire body is tense, his shoulders practically up by his ears as he appraises Y/N. “You have to do it at the same time!”

“Alright, alright—” Y/N tries again, focusing on matching her feet to each other.  This time, the movement is smoother, and the car begins to drive forward slowly, moving faster as Y/N presses down more. “Is that—am I doing it?” Y/N asks nervously, navigating herself slowly through the parking lot. “Is that it?”

“That’s it.  You’re doing good, yeah.” Harry nods slowly, but Y/N can see the strain in his jaw from the corner of her eye. “Now let’s try…let’s try shifting gears, so you can speed up.”

“Try not to sound so terrified.” Y/N mutters, turning the wheel to guide the car around a lamp post.

Harry ignores her comment. “You’re going to do the same motion, but this time release the gas while pressing down on the clutch.  Then move the gear shifter to two, like before, and—”

Before Harry can finish speaking, Y/N attempts to change into second gear.  The car lurches again as she releases the gas and presses on the clutch, and the jagged motion only gets worse after she shifts into second.

“Slowly, Y/N—” Agitation is clear in Harry’s voice, and his knuckles turn white as he grips the dash. “Slower!”

Another lunge of the car shifts Y/N to the side, and her foot slips off the clutch completely. With a sickening sound, the car lurches to a stop, despite Y/N’s foot still pressed on the gas.  “What—?”

Harry, who’s been wincing throughout the entire ordeal, sucks in a sharp breath. “You stalled her.” He says, shaking his head with a quiet horror.

Y/N tugs on her bottom lip as she glances at him from the corner of her eye, her voice hesitant. “Is…that bad?”

“Is that—?” Harry’s green irises snap to meet hers, wide open and shocked. “Yeah, it’s bad. That’s enough practice for today, I think.  I’m driving again.”

Y/N tries to protest. “But—”

“Nope!  Out!” Harry shakes his head firmly, unbuckling his seatbelt and exiting the car in one swift motion. “Come on!”

With a defeated sigh, Y/N unbuckles herself, climbing out of the driver’s door that Harry’s just opened for her.  “Sorry.” She mumbles, walking around to the passenger’s side and climbing back in.

Harry gives her a small smile, albeit a pained one, as he begins to move his feet over the brake and clutch, shifting the car into neutral. “It’s fine.  That was pretty good for a first practice, really. Just…maybe it’s too soon for highway driving.”

Y/N buckles her seatbelt as Harry restarts the engine, and within a few minutes, he has his signal flipped back on to head back to the highway. “You know, mostly I wanted to drive so that I could pick the music.” She says casually, resting her chin in her hand after propping it up against the arm rest. “I’m getting a little tired of The Beatles on repeat.”

Harry laughs, raking his hand through his curls before shifting gears with ease. “Oh really?  What would you put on, if you had a choice?”

“I don’t know.” Y/N shrugs, taking a moment to think. “We could listen to a nice sonata, maybe. Oh!  Or Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake.  I haven’t listened to it in full in a while.”

A sound of surprise and indignation leaves Harry’s mouth. “Tchaikovsky—?  No!  No, you can’t listen to classical music on a road trip!  You need music that you can scream the lyrics to!”

“Is there a rulebook about what you can and can’t listen to on a road trip?” Y/N raises an eyebrow as she poses the sarcastic question. “I wasn’t aware.”

“There’s an unofficial rulebook, yes.” Harry risks a glance over at Y/N, his green eyes alight. “And one of the most important—if not the most important—rules is that any song you listen to has to be able to be sung loudly while driving down a highway. Everyone knows that.”

“My bad.” Y/N says sarcastically, toeing off her shoes to better cross her legs beneath herself. “So, in short, we’re stuck listening to your playlist, huh?”

“Now you get it.” Harry shoots her a cheeky grin, pointing with his free hand. “You can change the song, though.  If you’d like.”

“Really?” Y/N reaches down to the small catch all tray between them, where Harry’s phone sits connected to a car charger.  She picks it up carefully, raising an eyebrow in question. “May I?”

When Harry nods, Y/N clicks on the screen, which displays the controls to the Spotify playlist currently being projected through the car’s speakers.  Unsurprisingly, a Beatles song is moving across the scene, causing Y/N to press the skip button immediately.  The next song is by The Killers, called “Spaceman,” and while she likes it, it’s not really something she feels like listening to in the moment. She hits skip again, passing over “Night Moves,” “Piano Man,” and “Seven Wonders,” (the last skip earning a sound of protest from Harry) before a familiar album cover pops up on the screen.

“Hold on.” Y/N says, mouth agape as the 1990s Vocoder sound fills the car. “You listen to Cher?”

“Are you kidding?” Harry’s surprised expression matches hers. “Of course!  She’s a treasure.” He taps his fingers to the beat of “Believe” while his head bops to the same pattern. “I love this song.  It’s a good one.”

Making a sound of agreement, Y/N lets her gaze drift to the window, watching the agriculture fields that whiz by. “Yeah.” She murmurs, losing herself in the beat. “‘No matter how hard I try…you keep pushing me aside’…”

“‘And I can’t break through’…” Harry’s voice joins with hers, louder and surer of himself than hers had been. “‘There’s no talking to you’…”

Y/N’s head turns from the window, locking eyes with Harry for the split second he looks away from the road ahead of them. “‘It’s so sad that you’re leaving…it takes time to believe it’…”

“‘But after all is said and done’…” The grin playing on Harry’s pink lips grows, popping out his dimples as he continues to sing. “‘You’re gonna be the lonely one’…”

With a grin pasted across her own face, so big that her cheeks ache, Y/N joins Harry for the chorus, yelling the lyrics more than singing them. “‘Do you believe in life after love?  I can feel something inside me say…I really don’t think you’re strong enough’!” Harry’s hand drifts down to the volume dial, turning the music up until the bass thumps through the entire car.  Y/N can feel it in her chest like a second heart beat.

“‘Do you believe in life after love?’” Encouraged by each other, Harry and Y/N scream the lyrics even louder on the repeat, straining their necks as much as their vocal cords. “‘I can feel something inside me say…I really don’t think you’re strong enough’!”

When Harry’s hand moves again, Y/N thinks that he’s reaching for the dial again, perhaps to turn it down, but then his hand makes a questioning motion, and Y/N realizes that Harry, ever the one for dramatics, is acting out the lines.

“‘What was I supposed to do?  Sit around and wait for you?’” Harry points at Y/N then, an exaggerated look on his face as his whole body moves to the beat. “‘Well I can’t do that!  And there’s no turning back’…”

Not wanting to be one upped, Y/N pushes up the sleeve of her sweater, exposing her wrist enough that she can tap on it. “‘I need time to move on’…” A fit of giggles interrupt the next line as she and Harry both raise their arms to flex their muscles. “‘I need a love to feel strong’…” Y/N taps on her temple as she sways her body to the beat the best she can in the car. “‘Because I’ve got time to think it through’…” When she turns to point at Harry, she finds him already pointing at her, once again in sync with her thoughts. “‘And maybe I’m too good for you, oh’!”

They repeat the chorus in the same way as before, screaming the lyrics as loud as they can, pulling dramatic facial expressions and dance moves to match.  Halfway through the repeat, Harry attempts to mimic the classic Cher move of pushing hair over the shoulder, and the ridiculous sight is enough to send Y/N into another fit of laughter.  She almost misses the entrance for the bridge, but recovers just in time to yell the lyrics in sync with Harry.

Forming fists and dragging her arms towards her dramatically, and Harry doing the same with his free hand, the two of them screw their faces up as they sing passionately. “‘Well I know that I’ll get through this…because I know that I am strong’…” The flexing of arms returns for a moment before being replaced by impassioned pleading hand gestures. “‘I don’t need you anymore…I don’t need you anymore…no, I don’t need you anymore…no, I don’t need you anymore’…”

Although they’d been energetic in the previous choruses, Harry and Y/N give their all for the final chorus, bouncing and yelling and gesturing as much as they can as they drive down the interstate at sixty-five miles per hour.  They quiet for a moment as the beat falls out, singing the lyrics at a slightly lower volume, but when the beat returns, they scream the lyrics one final time in unison before the music fades out.

The song changes to “Baby Driver,” and Harry reaches to lower the volume as he and Y/N both struggle to catch their breath.  They laugh between pants, hands on chests as they rapidly rise and fall.  Y/N lets her head fall back against the back of the seat, shifting her legs so only one rests on the seat beneath her thigh.

“That was a good one.” She admits, pushing her now-sweaty hair out of her face. “I’ll give you that. Cher was a good choice.”

“Do you see what I meant, now?” Harry asks breathlessly, his grin still plastered to his face. “Do you still want to listen to Tchaikovsky?”

In lieu of a reply, Y/N reaches for Harry’s phone again, skipping songs until “Jessie’s Girl” begins to drift through the speakers. “Turn it up again, Harry.”

There’s a twinkle in Harry’s eyes when he does as she says.

…

“I can sleep on the floor.” Harry volunteers, tugging his hand through his stretched out curls as his eyes scan the interior of the motel room. “Make a little bed out of pillows.  Then you can have the bed.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Harry.” Y/N shakes her head adamantly, setting her bag on the small table in front of the room’s mirror. “You can’t sleep on the floor!”

Harry purses his lips. “I’ll take the chair, then.  I can stretch out on it—”

“Please, you have limbs like Gumby.” Rolling her eyes, Y/N unzips her bag and pulls out her toiletries. “You can’t sleep comfortably in a chair.  We can deal with one bed for one night.  It’s not the end of the world.”

Four days ago, Y/N might have considered having to share a bed with Harry the end of the world.  If someone had told her about the lack of available motel rooms on the road, Y/N might have never left L.A.  And that first night in Utah, she remembers, she would have rather smother Harry in his sleep than share a bed with him.  Now, however, they’re in Iowa City, and for all her talk of how much she despised Harry before, she’s found herself quite fond of him in a short period of time.

There’s a list of reasons why that’s happened, she thinks, as she pulls out her charger to plug into the wall.  Their forced close proximity in the car and motel rooms probably has something to do with it, as well as Harry being her only company for the last four days.  And maybe, just maybe, a small part of it is due to the way Harry looks in the dim motel room light as he flops back on the bed, his red and black striped t-shirt riding up just the slightest bit to expose the fern tattoos lining the bottom of his stomach.  The way his jade irises manage to sparkle in the light of the lamp, or how his chipped nail polish still manages to look elegant as his fingers dance along his chest and twist his rings over his knuckles.  The way his lips, despite his constant habit of biting them, look so soft and so pink, and how Y/N thinks she could just—

Y/N clears her throat, stopping her thoughts in their tracks.  It’s really been too long since she’s been around another human being, she thinks, keeping her back to Harry as she roots through her suitcase for her pajamas. Four days is too long for her to be with the same person, with hardly any alone time, and she’s wondering if she’ll be able to have alone time any time soon when her fingers brush over the familiar smooth silicone surface of her vibrator.

Y/N pauses, pulling her fingers back as if she’s been burned.  Right.  She’d tossed that in there just before leaving L.A., just in case she needed some stress relief.  Glancing back over her shoulder subtly, Y/N sees that Harry has his phone out now, his nimble fingers tapping along the screen as he lays on the bed.  Maybe some stress relief is exactly what she needs.

Grabbing the first articles of clothing she can get her hands on, Y/N carefully wraps her vibrator within the fabric, trying to fold it so that it doesn’t look like its hiding a small purple sex toy.  Once that’s done to the best of her ability, she grabs her toiletry bag, tucking it under her arm as she quickly makes her way to the bathroom.

“I’m going to shower.” She mutters, closing the door behind her without waiting for Harry’s response.

Although the ritual of stripping from her clothes, starting the shower and adjusting the temperature settings, and relaxing her muscles underneath the (albeit low pressure) stream of water is familiar, it takes Y/N a few minutes to work up the courage to run her hands down the length of her body.  She takes her time as her fingers dance over the planes of her breasts, down her stomach, fluttering over her hips before making their way to the crevice where her thighs flow into her core.  Taking a deep breath, Y/N begins with just her fingers, running them through her wet folds slowly and carefully.

She allows herself the time to warm herself up, waiting until she can dip her index finger inside her slick entrance and circle its way around her clit before grabbing her vibrator from the shower ledge.  She flicks it on to its lowest setting, making sure the electronic buzz is hidden beneath the sound of the shower before gently circling the tip around her clit.

The relief, Y/N finds, is instantaneous.  A breathless sigh slips past her lips as she rubs the toy over her folds, delighting in the fluttering sensation it leaves behind.  Without breaking contact, Y/N turns the toy up a level, biting her lip to keep from moaning as she presses it back to her clit.

Despite the tension building up in her body as Y/N works herself to an orgasm, this is the most relaxed she’s felt in days.  The tension, she finds, is so much sweeter than the anxiety and stress she’s been experiencing throughout the road trip.  Although her shoulders tense, it’s different than the knots worked into her muscles from hours in the car.  Although her leg feels as though it may cramp from its position perched on the bath tub ledge, the burn is more welcome than the ache of being stuck in one seated position.

If someone were to ask her what crossed her mind when Y/N brought herself over the edge, what thoughts drifted into her head as she gripped the wall of the shower with one hand as her core convulsed in the most delightfully sinful way, Y/N would tell them that it was nothing specific.  Strong hands, she’d say, smoothly and knowledgeably caressing her body.  A low voice whispering dirty nothings in her ear. A deep breath flowing down her neck as cherry lips and white teeth nipped and kissed down her skin and across her collar bones.  Nothing specific.  And Y/N would believe it when she’d say it.

But if anyone were to be listening at the exact moment that she thrust the vibrator inside her, panting and whimpering as her index and middle finger worked over her clit and brought her to climax, they’d hear the breathless whisper of a name that Y/N herself didn’t even know she was saying.

The nice thing about getting off in the shower, Y/N thinks, once she’s regained enough function in her head to do so, is that cleanup is a breeze.  Within fifteen more minutes, Y/N’s washed her body, shampooed and conditioned her hair, and is climbing out of the shower with the motel towel wrapped tightly around her body.  Within another few minutes, she’s towel dried to the best of her ability, and finally realizing that the pajamas she’d grabbed in her quick bid for the washroom happened to be the pink silk set that she’d tucked at the bottom of her suitcase four days ago.

Cheeks burning, Y/N weighs her options.  She could wrap the towel around herself, she thinks, and instruct Harry to look away as she snuck back to her suitcase and grabbed the sports bra and boxers she’d been sleeping in for the past few nights.  Or…she runs her fingers over the lace trim of the set.  These pajamas were quite comfortable, and the silk would feel so nice on her body after multiple nights of scratching motel sheets.  And, if she’s being honest with herself, her other pajamas are quite dirty from a new nights of use.  Now that her body feels completely relaxed and clean, she’d like to put on something to match.

When she steps out of the bathroom, Y/N does her best to seem casual and calm, still running her towel through her set hair, her clothes and toiletry bag (where she’s hidden her vibrator) tucked under one arm. “The shower’s free.” She says to Harry, barely glancing at him as she returns her items to her bag. “Although the water pressure is pretty shit.”

A low chuckle echoes from Harry’s mouth. “I expect nothing less.” He says, and Y/N thinks she may be in the clear when the laughter stops abruptly.

Biting back a sigh, Y/N straightens her back, knowing that she can’t avoid the conversation forever. “What?” She asks, tossing her towel on the motel room chair.

Harry is sitting up on the bed, his phone still held loosely in his right hand as his left props his body into an upright position.  As his eyes scan over Y/N’s body, his tongue darts out of his mouth, wetting his lips without Harry being aware he’s doing it. “What—” His voice cracks, and a flush creeps up Harry’s pale neck as he clears his throat. “What are you wearing?”

Y/N begins to comb her fingers through her hair, sectioning it off before she begins to braid. “Pajamas.”

A scoff leaves Harry’s mouth. “No, no, those aren’t pajamas.  That’s…lingerie.”

“Yeah, well…I brought them as pajamas.” Y/N mumbles, twisting her hair into the desired pattern before tying it off with the ponytail on her wrist. “Look, I—my other ones are dirty, and I didn’t want to put a sweaty sports bra back on right after showering.  But…if it makes you uncomfortable, then I can—”

“I’m not uncomfortable.” Harry cuts over her, giving a quick shake of his head. “I just—we’re sharing the bed tonight, so I wasn’t sure—as long as you’re comfortable—”

“I am.” Y/N says quickly, cheeks beginning to burn as the conversation continues. “I’m comfortable.”

“Alright then.” If Harry’s cheeks are any indication, then he’s feeling the same thing Y/N is. “I’m…going to shower, then.”

And that’s how, two hours later, after watching a rerun of When Harry Met Sally, Y/N ends up in bed next to Harry Styles in lingerie that she’d bought to impress her ex-boyfriend.

Harry, to his credit, is doing his best to draw a line between them.  His lanky body is practically hanging off the edge of the bed with how far he’s pulled himself from her, his defined back turned towards Y/N. Her own posture mimics his, back turned from Harry, clinging to the edge of the bed in an attempt to respect his personal space.  The problem, Y/N thinks, exhaling hard as she shifts under the covers, is that she doesn’t like sleeping on her side like this, and she especially doesn’t like tensing up to make sure her limbs stay in their designated zone.  It feels awkward and uncomfortable, and after laying in bed for over an hour, she finally huffs before turning onto her back, her hands settling down over the sheets.

“Harry.” She whispers, twisting her head to the side as she struggles to make out the shape of his body in the dark. “Are you awake?”

The bed creaks as Harry’s body shifts towards her, twisting on his hip to be able to meet Y/N’s eyes. “Yeah.  Can’t sleep.”

“Me either.” Y/N rolls over again, propping herself up on her side to face him as he matches the motion. They’re closer now, their faces about six inches away as they rest their heads on their pillows.  Y/N can smell the mint of Harry’s toothpaste on his breath. “Why can’t you sleep?”

Harry shrugs one shoulder as best he can while horizontal. “Dunno.” He mumbles, voice low in the quiet darkness. “Don’t think I’m used to sharing a bed with someone and not…being close to them.”

“Yeah.” Y/N matches the tone of her voice to his, as if speaking quietly and gently will preserve whatever it is hanging between them. “Feels weird.”

Moving his hands from his chest to tuck them under his pillow, Harry worries his bottom lip between his teeth, a nervous look apparent in his eyes even in the darkness. “Would it be okay if I moved closer?” He asks, caution written into every word. “It’s just—staying on the edge isn’t very comfortable.”

Four days ago, Y/N would have shoved him off the bed.  Now, however, she finds herself nodding, pulling her top leg into a bent position, her bare knee brushing over Harry’s beneath the sheets. “That’s fine.”

Y/N watches the way Harry’s body visibly relaxes, the tension she didn’t even know he had leaving his body.  Trying his best to move without disturbing her, Harry turns over to lay on his toned stomach, and the sheets pull down around his body enough that Y/N can see how his Rolling Stones t-shirt has ridden up his back.  Without thinking, Y/N pulls one hand from beneath her pillow and reaches for the sheets, pulling them back around Harry to his mid back.

“Thanks.” His voice is raspy, half muffled by the pillow as he tucks his hands beneath his head, eyes still locked with hers with an intensity that, during daylight hours, would have made her cheeks burn.

But in the safety of the darkness, Y/N simply returns her hand to its previous position, allowing the lack of light to masquerade the concern written onto her face. “You’re welcome.”

…

“I’m not saying The Notebook is a bad movie, I’m just saying that it doesn’t make sense!”

Harry gives Y/N an incredulous look as he flips on his turn signal, shifting gears in the car so he can exit the highway and head towards a gas station. “What do you mean, it doesn’t make sense?” He demands, turning the car over the curve of the road. “They’re in love!  Noah reads to Ally to help her remember that!  What about that doesn’t make sense?”

“Well, the dialogue for one.” Y/N shrugs, tapping her fingers to the beat of “Heroes” that’s drifting through the speakers.

Harry scoffs as he pulls into an empty gas station, slowing the car to a gentle stop in front of a pump. “Give me one example of the dialogue not making sense!”

“‘If you’re a bird, I’m a bird’?” Y/N raises an eyebrow as she quotes the movie. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“What do you mean, what does it mean?” Harry demands, shifting the car into neutral and pulling the emergency brake before turning off the ignition. “It’s romantic!  It’s talking about—about reincarnation, and past lives—”

“And what about how Noah and Ally first met, huh?  She was on a date with someone else!  She wasn’t interested in him!” As she rants, Y/N’s volume grows, almost drowning out David Bowie completely. “And then he climbed up a Ferris wheel, demanded that she go out with him, and said that if she didn’t, he was going to kill himself!”

Harry points an accusatory finger at her, his expression fierce. “Don’t!  It was romantic—”

Y/N pushes his finger away, holding her stance adamantly. “It was creepy!  And don’t even get me started on the arguments, and the lying, and—and she was engaged to someone else!  Noah was a homewrecker!”

Harry takes a deep breath, squeezing his keys in his hand as his eyes close for a moment. “I’m going to fill Stevie with petrol.” He says, his tone careful and controlled. “And when I get back, I am going to give you a very long lecture on why you’re wrong.”

Y/N rolls her eyes as she grabs Harry’s sunglasses from the cupholder next to her, slipping them onto her face as she sticks her tongue out at him. “Whatever.  Go pump the gas, Styles.”

With one last withering look, Harry climbs out of the car and slams the door behind him, turning his attention to the rusted gas pump in the middle of nowhere along the Illinois interstate.  Y/N can’t help but laugh at the irritated look on his face, and how he flips her the bird when he catches her laughing.  Small giggles still roll through her as she turns her attention to Harry’s phone, choosing a new song as David Bowie slowly begins to fade out. She’s just begun scrolling through her options when her own phone begins to vibrate from where she has it tucked underneath her leg.

Y/N sets Harry’s phone back down on his seat as she grabs her own, her eyes widening when she sees Brant’s name lighting up her screen.  She should answer, she thinks, as she hasn’t spoken to him in person since their conversation in Colorado.  That conversation seems like a lifetime ago, and Y/N’s thumb hovers over the “accept” icon, her teeth tugging her bottom lip over and over.  She should answer.  She should.  Brant will probably want to discuss work, and find out when she’s coming back so they can plan another dinner, because he always likes to schedule things at least a week in advance.  He’ll tell her about his coworkers, what the weather in L.A. has been like (as if it ever changes), and maybe, just maybe, if he has time, he’ll tell her about a new Netflix series he’s just starting to watch.  Y/N should answer.

The driver’s side door opens with a creak, and Harry bends down to poke his head inside. “Alright, I’m going to go inside the petrol station and get us some snacks, and then I’m going to explain to you exactly how wrong you are.” He says firmly, mouth pressed into a flat line of determination.  His expression falters for just a moment as he sees the conflicted look on Y/N’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Y/N says quickly, pressing “ignore” and tucking her phone back under her leg. “Just go get the snacks while I create my counterargument, alright?”

Harry rolls his eyes, reaching into the car and pulling his sunglasses off Y/N’s face.  He slips them over his own eyes, his expression back to its determined look. “Fine.  Do you want Cheezies?”

“Uh huh.  The crunchy ones!” Y/N reminds him, grabbing his phone from the seat again to continue selecting a new song.

“Right.  The crunchy ones.” Harry shoots her a finger gun as he shuts the car door. “You can eat them as I prove you wrong!”

“You wish!” Y/N yells back, the phone call all but forgotten as she watches Harry walk into the gas station.

…

“We should go out tonight.”

Y/N sets her duffel bag on the queen-sized bed situated in the center of the motel room, giving Harry a confused look as she registers his words. “Go out?” She asks, tugging on the zipper of the bag. “Go out where?”

“To a bar.” Harry flops down on the bed next to her bag, leaning back on his elbows as he speaks. “All we’ve done this entire trip is drive, and we’re getting to the Catskills tomorrow.  We can have a bit of fun tonight, can’t we?”

Y/N snorts as she rifles through her bag, pulling out her phone charger and favourite book. “It’s a road trip; driving is the point, isn’t it?  Besides, what kind of bars are in Cleveland, Ohio?”

Harry shrugs lightly. “We passed a sign for one on our way into town.  And we haven’t had dinner yet, so we should go get something to eat anyways.  And I haven’t had a pint in forever.”

“I doubt you’ll like the pints from a dive bar in Cleveland, Harry.” Y/N rolls her eyes as she plugs her charger into the wall. “I don’t think they’ll be up to your standards.”

“That’s for me to decide, isn’t it?” Harry matches her eye roll with ease before turning his expression into something more endearing. “Please?  We don’t have to stay too long if you don’t want to!”

Y/N sighs as she sits down on the bed next to him. “Harry—”

“Just one drink!” Harry pleads, pouting out his bottom lip. “Please?  To celebrate not killing each other on this trip?”

In spite of herself, a small laugh falls from Y/N’s mouth. “The trip’s not over yet, Harry.  Don’t count your eggs before they hatch.”

“Y/N…” Harry whines, turning onto his side as he looks up at her. “Come on!”

Y/N tugs her lip between her teeth as she looks down at Harry.  It’s true, she thinks, that all they’ve done for the last five days is drive and sleep in motels.  Maybe they could use a break before tomorrow’s final day.  And they’ve been getting along so well today that Y/N would hate to put a damper on their moods now…

“Fine.” She relents, ignoring how there’s a turning feeling in her stomach when she sees Harry’s green eyes light up. “But just one drink!”

…

“I’ll take another Old Fashioned, please!” Y/N says to the waitress, raising her voice to be heard over the man singing a bad cover of “Take on Me” on the small bar stage. “And—Harry, do you want another?”

Harry bites back a laugh, barely managing to cover it with a cough as the waitress turns to him. “Uh, yes, please.” He smiles charmingly, flashing his eyes to Y/N between his words. “I’ll have another pint.”

With a quick nod, the waitress begins to work her way from their table to the bar, pushing through the crowds of people scattered around the bar.  

Y/N leans over to Harry as she twirls her straw through the remnants of ice in her empty glass. “You picked a good bar!” She says loudly, gesturing to the people around them. “Who knew this would be the center of Cleveland’s drinking scene?”

“I did!  I have good taste!” Harry replies with a laugh, lifting his pint glass to his lips to drain the remnants. “And here I was, thinking that you’d be whining to go home after the first drink!”

There’s something about the way Harry says “home” that turns Y/N’s stomach.  Or maybe it’s the Old Fashioneds, she thinks, as she eyes the three empty glasses sitting in front of her. “Oh.  Yeah.  Maybe we should go…?”

Harry groans, waving off her suggestion without a second thought. “No!  We’re having fun!  When was the last time you went out?”

“Uh…” The alcohol makes it hard for Y/N to think back in her memory, but she does her best to focus for a few moments to search for the answer. “I think…a few months ago?  Jo came to visit, and we went out for drinks…”

“That’s just sad.” Harry shakes his head, feigning disappointment.  Or maybe not feigning it, Y/N thinks, because a deep sigh leaves his lips right after. “You live in L.A., a place with so much culture and so many opportunities, and you don’t take them!”

“I take opportunities just fine!” Y/N defends herself, a pout working its way onto her lips of its own volition. “I’m just busy—”

“You’re always going to be busy!” Harry argues as the waitress approaches them with their drinks. “You—thank you—” He says to her as she hands him his pint and Y/N her Old Fashioned. “You have to take time for yourself, to enjoy things!  Or else life is just going to pass you by, and soon you’ll be old and grey in your apartment, with no cool stories to tell!”

Y/N takes the straw from her previous drink and slips it in her new one. “I have stories!” She argues hotly, a flush coming over her face from both the alcohol and the argument. “I have plenty of stories!”

Harry takes a gulp from his pint, wiping away the drop of beer that drips from the corner of his mouth. “Oh yeah?  Tell me one.”

“Like—” Y/N takes a long sip of her drink. “Like now!  The story of how I had to go on a road trip with a guy I hated to make it to my best friend’s wedding on time!”

“I’m not really a fan of that title, honestly.” Harry purses his lips, his brow furrowing as he sets his pint back down on the table. “How about we call it the story of how you had to go on a road trip with a guy you hated to make it to your best friend’s wedding on time, and along the way, you and the guy actually realized that you got along pretty well, and became friends?”

A small smile plays on Y/N’s lips, and she raises her glass towards Harry. “Sounds like a plan.” She says softly, barely audible over the noise of the crowd.  Harry lifts his pint glass and clicks it against her drink.

They both take a sip of their drinks, and when Harry lowers his glass, there’s a mischievous glint in his eye that immediately makes Y/N uneasy. “I have another idea for a story.” He says, setting his glass down and pointing towards the stage. “How about the story of us singing karaoke at a bar in Cleveland, Ohio?”

Y/N snorts, half folding herself over their table as the snort turns into a full laugh. “Not a chance in hell, Styles!” She says through her laughter, tapping her fingers against the wood table top.

Harry pushes her shoulder, making her sit up again as he tries to convince her. “Come on!  We’ve been singing in the car for two days straight! There’s tons of songs we could do—”

“The car is completely different than a stage!” Y/N argues, shaking her head firmly. “No way!”

“What, are you worried about making a fool of yourself?” Harry raises an eyebrow as he gestures around the bar. “Is there anyone you know in the audience?  The audience that’s full of people who are pissed out of their minds?”

Biting her lip hard for a moment, Y/N gives a reluctant shake of her head. “No.” She mumbles, looking down. “But I just—I don’t sing karaoke.”

“And you didn’t spend five days in the car with me, either.  Until you did, and we had fun.” Harry points a ringed pointer finger at her, and the annoying glint in his eye means he knows he has her trapped. “There is literally no better place to try it than right now, in this bar, where you know no one.”

Y/N glances around the bar, appraising her surroundings.  She knows Harry has a point; besides himself, she knows not a single soul in the building.  They’ll be leaving tomorrow morning, and she won’t ever find herself in this bar—or, honestly, Cleveland, Ohio—again.  If there was ever a time to try karaoke, it would be now.  

And hasn’t this trip been full of trying new things?  New foods, new conversations, new ways of thinking…Y/N finds herself locking eyes with Harry, losing herself in his intense gaze.  Y/N’s not sure what’s swirling around in his irises, whether it’s alcohol or something else entirely, but it’s intoxicating.

Y/N lets out a harsh exhale, pulling the straw out of her drink and downing it entirely in one swift motion. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand as she slams the glass back on the table before looking back at Harry to find a new grin pasted across his pink lips.

“Alright.” Y/N slips off her stool, stumbling for just a moment until Harry catches her elbow. “You go pick the song.” She says, pointing towards the DJ near the stage. “I-I’m going to run to the bathroom.”

Harry nods, catching his lip between his teeth as his hand squeezes her arm. “Are you alright?  You stumbled there—”

“I’m fine!  Perfect, actually.” Y/N assures him, pulling away and walking towards the washroom.  She calls over her shoulder to him as she does. “Go pick the song!  I’ll be back in a moment!”

When Y/N reaches the washroom, she’s surprised to find it empty, and she’s even more surprised when she catches her reflection in the bathroom mirror.

Is that really her? She wonders, propping herself up on the counter as she leans closer to examine herself.  Her skin is flushed from the alcohol, all across her cheeks and neck, and it only gets warmer as the heat of the bar finally hits her. Y/N undoes the top few buttons of her plaid shirt, exposing her chest to the air.  Cocking her head to the side, Y/N studies herself for a moment before undoing the rest of the buttons and rolling up the sleeves to wear the shirt like a cardigan, leaving her bralette exposed.  It’s a different look than anything she’s ever done, but…she likes it, she realizes, as her eyes scan over her reflection.  She likes this.  Being somewhere that no one knows her, somewhere filled with people that won’t judge her for drinking too much, somewhere that she doesn’t have to worry about stories getting back to her work.  Y/N likes the wild look in her eyes, the breathlessness stirring inside her, the plumpness of her lips from the ice of her drinks.   When she looks at herself, she sees a different person. Someone she doesn’t recognize. Someone who seems to know what they want.

Her phone vibrating in her back pocket pulls her from her thoughts, and it takes Y/N a moment for her intoxicated self to manage to pull it out.  When she sees Brant’s name flashing on the screen, she only hesitates for one second before hitting decline.  That one second of hesitation, however, is all it takes to make her contemplate herself in the mirror again, second guessing what she sees.  She tucks her phone away before washing her hands, and splashes a little bit of cold water on her cheeks to help cool herself down. Giving herself one last look over, Y/N buttons the few bottom buttons of her shirt back together, tying it into a neat knot to cover her stomach.  Even if no one here knows her…she can’t get too wild.  She still has to be who she is.

After exiting the bathroom, Y/N returns to the table, expecting Harry to be waiting there for her. All she finds, however, is his jacket tossed over the back of his chair, and his now empty pint glass sitting on the table. Y/N turns in a small circle, wondering where he is in the crowd when she hears his slightly slurred voice magnified over the speakers.

“Y/N.  Up here, love, c’mon.”

Y/N turns towards the stage, her eyes wide as she realizes Harry has a microphone in one hand and has the other hand wrapped around the microphone stand.  His smile is practically glowing underneath the stage lights, and his eyes seem to be doing the same.  He releases the mic stand to run a hand through his hair before beckoning her forward.

“Ladies and gentlemen of Cleveland, this—” Harry points towards Y/N, and she almost swears that every person in the bar turns towards her. “This is my very good friend Y/N. And five days ago, she hated my guts!” The crowd boos, and Y/N stares at Harry with incredulous eyes.  What is he doing?

“No, no, don’t boo, it’s alright.  I hated her guts too.” Harry says with a shrug, leaning against the mic stand again. “But everything’s alright now!  We’re getting along, she’s stopped being such a control freak, and she even said she would let me pick a song for us to sing tonight, isn’t that nice?”

The crowd cheers as Y/N walks towards the stage, stopping just before it to stare up at Harry as he continues his drunken monologue.  If she was sober, she’d probably pull him down from the stage, grab the front of his patterned button down shirt, and drag him back to their table.  But the alcohol running through her system is making her bold, and with her head swimming in the amber liquid she’d been consuming, all she can do is laugh and stumble her way to the stairs to the stage.

Someone wearing a t-shirt with the bar’s logo on it helps her up the stairs, handing her a microphone once she makes it onto the stage.  Harry, realizing she’s where she needs to be now, motions to the DJ behind her, and a familiar beat that Y/N can’t place begins to play.

“Harry—” Y/N speaks without raising the microphone to her lips. “What song—?”

“Don’t worry, you know it.” Harry assures her, his eyes flickering over her appearance quickly. “You look great.  Just go with it!”

There’s really no choice but to go with it, she thinks, because within a moment, Harry has a simpering smile on his face as he lifts the microphone to his lips, his body turned towards the audience but his eyes flickering to you.

“‘I wasn’t jealous before we met…now every man I see is a potential threat’.” He sings in a confident voice, and Y/N watches the split second it takes for the crowd to realize he’s actually good.  And it’s not just his voice, she thinks.  It’s his demeanor.  The part of Harry’s personality that had first irritated her, the part that lives for a spotlight, the part that can draw someone in with a snap of a finger…that part shines on a stage.

In contrast, all Y/N can do is stare with a shocked expression painted across her face as Harry continues to serenade the crowd.  He makes eye contact with specific people as he croons the next lines, his hand confidently wrapped around the microphone “‘And I’m possessive, it isn’t nice…you’ve heard me say that smoking is my only voice’.”

It’s then that Harry’s attention turns back to Y/N, his eyelids hooded, half hiding his emerald eyes as he saunters back towards her.  It’s like a switch has flipped in his head, because Y/N is certain that he’s never looked at her in this way before. “‘But now it isn’t true…now everything is new’…” The closer Harry gets to her, the less Y/N can breathe. By the time he’s a foot away from her, she feels like her breaths are stuttering in her chest, giving barely enough oxygen to her body to keep her going.  

Harry, it seems, is unaware of the affect he’s having on her.  His long limbs are loose and free as he continues to move closer, the smirk on his face intertwined with something deeper that Y/N’s drunken mind can’t quite put her finger on. “‘And all I’ve learned, has overturned…I beg of you’…”

The scent of cologne, alcohol, and sweat that emanates from Harry as he gets close enough to press his forehead to hers reminds Y/N exactly where she is, and what she’s supposed to be doing.  Just managing to bring the microphone to her lips in time, Y/N shoves Harry on his shoulder, pushing him away enough that she can walk past him and distance herself. “‘Don’t go wasting your emotion’…” She sings, glancing at him over her shoulder as she moves away.  Harry watches her with darkened eyes, a hungry look on his face as Y/N begins to sway her hips to the music.  It’s fun, she realizes, being on stage like this, and playing the part with Harry as she sets down a challenge. “‘Lay all your love on me’.”

The crowd cheers as Harry begins to take measured steps towards Y/N again, looking like the cat who wants to catch the canary.  Y/N, ever the competitive player, refuses to give in so easily, and quickly extends a hand to two people sitting in front of the stage.  They give her support as she slides down from the platform, working her way through the tables without so much as a glance behind herself at Harry, who she knows is following her.

“‘It was like shooting a sitting duck…a little small talk, a smile and baby I was stuck’.” Y/N finally turns around, pausing her walk to see Harry hopping down from the stage. She points at him slowly, giving a small shake of her head as she sings the next line. “‘I still don’t know what you’ve done to me…a grownup woman should never fall so easily’…”

Harry’s smirk only grows, and he runs a hand haphazardly through his sweaty curls.  He’s enjoying playing the part too, and Y/N can tell by the way he allows her to cross the seating area, so that they’re walking parallel to each other towards the bar.  He’s not chasing her down.  He’s taking his time, knowing that he’ll get her in the end.

“‘I feel a kind of fear…when I don’t have you near’…” Y/N pauses at a table of two men and a woman, leaning down between the latter two.  She only takes her eyes off Harry for a moment to give a questioning look to the man, who gives her a smile of permission.  Y/N runs her fingers across his shoulder and down his arm, but keeps her eyes glued to Harry the entire time. “‘Unsatisfied, I skip my pride…I beg you dear’…”

When he sees Y/N’s fingers trace down the collar of someone else, Harry’s brow furrows in jealousy, his jade eyes shifting even darker than they were before.  He keeps pace with Y/N as she begins to move again, but there’s an air of tension in his saunter that wasn’t there a moment ago.  When he sings, it sounds like half plea, half demand. “‘Don’t go wasting your emotion…lay all your love on me’.” Harry rounds a table of people before beginning to close the distance between him and Y/N, each of them now standing in front of the bar.  With the tension between them now palpable, the crowd is moving out of their way discreetly, watching as the two approach each other. Harry licks his red lips before singing the next line. “‘Don’t go sharing your devotion…lay all your love on me’.”

Y/N releases her bottom lip from between her teeth, running her fingers over the finished wood of the bar before pulling herself to sit atop it.  She crosses her legs carefully before leaning her weight on one hand, giving a small shrug, knowing that Harry’s eyes are glued to her every motion as the bartender pours him a shot. “‘I’ve had a few little love affairs…they didn’t last very long and they’ve been pretty scarce’…”

Harry’s lips wrap around the shot glass, throwing it back just in time to sing the next line as tequila drips from the corner of his mouth.  The drop of alcohol runs down his chin to trace the muscles of his neck, and as Harry pulls himself to sit next to Y/N on the bar, the only thing she wants to do is lean forward and lick the liquor from his skin.

“‘I used to think I was sensible’…” Harry passes a newly poured shot to Y/N, meaning for her to take it from him, and he nearly stutters over his next line as Y/N wraps her hand around his own, guiding him to guide the shot to her mouth.  There’s a sharp intake of air into the microphone before Harry can sing again, and Y/N smirks at the small victory as she wipes her mouth doing her best to hide how the bitter taste of the tequila affects her. “‘It makes the truth even more incomprehensible’.”

Y/N brings her microphone to her mouth again to sing the next verse with Harry, their eyes locked together as they lean forward into each other.  Despite the cheering of the crowd, Y/N can’t help but feel as though she and Harry are the only two in the bar, as if this—very public—performance were small and intimate and just between them.

“‘Because everything is new’…” Harry grips the knot in Y/N’s plaid shirt, easily pulling it undone with one hand.  His eyes break away from hers for only a moment to canvas over her newly exposed midriff and lace bralette before snapping back to her gaze with a renewed vigor. He keeps the tails of the shirt clutched within his strong hand as he begins to lean back on the bar, pulling Y/N down with him.

“‘And everything is you’…” Y/N almost falls over before she catches herself, bracing one hand beside Harry’s head on the bar to support her weight as he lays down fully. She can feel how tightly he’s gripping her shirt by how the hem of it is pressing into her skin, and the pressure of the fabric cues another kind of pressure to begin to curl inside her stomach. When she sucks in a breath, she can taste tequila and Harry’s cologne on her tongue, and she struggles to bite back a whine while Harry wraps her shirt tighter around his hand.

“‘And all I’ve learned has overturned’…” Harry releases the wrinkled fabric of her shirt, his now freed hand trading the cloth for the skin of her exposed waist.  The coolness of his rings against her flushed skin makes Y/N’s breath stutter, and she curls her body over him more in response.  The taste of Harry’s touch has sparked a need to be closer, as well as a new fluttering in her core, and judging by the way Harry keeps licking his lips, he knows it.

Refusing to be the only one affected by their close proximity, Y/N moves her supporting hand from the bar to Harry’s hair, tugging on it harshly as Harry opens his mouth to sing the next line.  As Y/N sings “‘I beg of you’…” with a pleading glance, Harry grunts deep in his throat, just managing to pull the microphone away from his lips so that Y/N is the only one to hear it.

Although getting a reaction out of Harry was her goal, actually hearing that reaction is another story entirely.  Heat rushes to Y/N’s face as Harry grips her waist tighter, pressing her thighs and hips to his own as he guides the two of them to the beat of the music.  The cheering and wolf whistles from the crowd are the only thing that keep Y/N grounded and in the moment, reminding her that—despite how it feels—there are people watching the two of them.

“‘Don’t go wasting your emotion…lay all your love on me’.” Harry grinds his hip against Y/N’s once more, moving them in a steady and consistent pace.  Y/N repositions her body in return, spreading her legs so she can straddle Harry’s hips more easily.  She knows, though, that she needs to start pulling back.  She has to do something to get away from him, to break the trance that his touch has her in, before she does something she’ll regret.

“‘Don’t go sharing your devotion’…” Y/N slowly sits back up, letting go of Harry’s hair in order to trail her free hand down his chest. Although she knows that she’s supposed to be distancing herself from him, she can’t resist digging her nails in just the slightest bit, delighting in the hiss that leaves his mouth. “‘Lay all your love on me’…”

Harry sits up slowly as the key changes, his eyes glued to Y/N’s lips as she sings a line by herself, her voice growing ever so slightly fainter every time Harry tugs on his red lips with his teeth, soothing the mark with his tongue a moment after. “‘Don’t go wasting your emotion…lay all your love on me’…”

Now that they’re both sitting upright, Harry grips their bodies and turns them so that their legs once again dangle off the bar.  Y/N can feel the blood rushing from her head as she drapes her arm over Harry’s shoulder, her eyelids fluttering as Harry digs his fingertips into her waist. “‘Don’t go sharing your devotion’…” Harry’s pupils are so blown that his irises practically look black.  His chest is heaving with every breath, his exposed skin flushed and sweaty.  His curls are a mess from Y/N tangling her fingers in them.  If Y/N didn’t know any better, she’d say Harry looks freshly fucked, and then she wonders if she looks the same.  By the way Harry’s looking at her, she thinks it’s safe to say that she does.

“‘Lay all your love on me’.” They finish together, hungry eyes locked with each other while the wolf whistles and clapping gets louder as the final notes of the song trail off.  This is where they should break apart, Y/N thinks, her chest moving rapidly with every ragged breath she takes.  This is where she should climb off Harry’s lap, climb down from the bar, return the microphones to the DJ, and gather her things and go.  This is the end of whatever the hell just happened during that song.  This is where she says “Harry, we have to be up early tomorrow to drive, so we should go back to the motel.”

To her credit, Y/N tries. She swallows hard, her mouth as dry as it’s ever been, and sucks in another breath, almost whimpering at the taste of his cologne in the back of her throat.  Don’t, she tells herself.  She needs to say what she needs to say.  Their game is done.  It’s over.

“Harry—” She begins, and that’s all she manages to say before Harry is kissing her.

Her body reacts before her mind does, but between the overwhelming sensations all around her and the copious amounts of liquor that her brain is swimming in, Y/N can only register every third movement.  The microphone falling from her hand onto the bar as she tangles her fingers back in Harry’s curls, twisting and pulling and receiving the most delightful gasps from him in return.  Harry’s teeth catching her bottom lip, just barely tugging on the tender flesh. Ringed hands keeping a firm grip on Y/N’s sides as Harry helps her down from the bar, his lips still pressed firmly against her own.  The lingering taste of tequila on Harry’s skin as Y/N kisses down his jaw, unable to completely pull away as Harry struggles to settle their tab with the bartender.

She’s never felt like this before; Y/N didn’t even know it could feel like this.  She didn’t know that she could feel an ache so deep inside her, both painful and pleasurable at the same time, and be so completely aware that the only cure for it is the touch of another person.  Y/N had been convinced that this rush was something that was fiction, made up by steamy romance novels to entice lonely housewives to dive beneath their pages. And yet here she is, stumbling out of a bar in Cleveland, Ohio, with Harry Styles, someone that she swore up and down that she hated five days ago.  Here she is with Harry’s jacket draped over her heated shoulders, his hands slipped underneath, rubbing at her exposed skin as he guides her back to the motel.  Here she is with his lips connected to her neck the moment their motel room door is closed, his fingers fumbling with the locks on the door as he refuses to pull away from her.

Yes, Y/N thinks, as she grinds her hips against Harry’s, relishing in the strangled moan that he breathes into her mouth: it’s never felt like this.

“Y/N—” Each pant of her name from his lips sounds like a song. “Fuck, Y/N—” Harry pulls back from her just enough to suck in a full breath, the first in what feels like hours. “I—we—”

“Shut up.” Y/N uses her grip on his hair to pull his head back, trailing open mouthed kisses over his jugular. “Just shut up, Harry, I need—I just need—”

“Need what?” Harry demands, eyes dark as he pushes himself away from her.  An involuntary whine at the loss of contact escapes from Y/N’s throat, and Harry has to steel himself again before he can continue. “What do you need?” He asks, struggling to keep his voice controlled. “You—you have to tell me, so that—I need you to be clear.”

Y/N licks over her swollen lips, eyes blown wide with lust as she stares up at Harry, struggling to find the words.  “I need…” She swallows once more, inhaling sharply as he grips her shoulders to steady her. “I need you, Harry.  Just fuck me. I-I need you to—”

Before she can finish her request, Harry has scooped her up into his arms, tossing her on the creaking motel bed as if she were a rag doll.  A gasp of shock leaves Y/N’s mouth, and she’s barely managed to sit up before Harry is caging his body over hers, forcing her back down as he kisses her hard.

Y/N’s hands go straight to the hem of his shirt, tugging roughly on the fabric, shoving it up Harry’s body before he gets the clue to half sit up and pull it off himself. After that, it’s a rush to remove clothes, each of them blindly pulling off shirts and bras and pants.  Everything is rushed, and that’s what Y/N wants. She doesn’t want time to lay down and explore, and allow herself space to second guess her decision.  All she wants is Harry to do something about the ache in her core, to fill her up so completely that she’ll be feeling him for days. It’s that need that makes Y/N tug on his hair to get his attention as he begins to kiss her thighs.

“No.” She shakes her head haphazardly, and the room spins slightly when she finishes the motion. “No, I just—I just need you to fuck me.  I’m ready, Harry—”

“But—” His teeth tug roughly on his bottom lip, mimicking Y/N’s actions from moments ago. “I want to taste—”

“Please, Harry.” Y/N whines, throwing her head back on the motel pillow. “It’s been so long since I’ve been full…please…”

The lewd admission catches Harry off guard. “Fucking hell—” He spits out, his hands tugging on his hair as he sits up. “Yeah, I—okay.” He closes his eyes for a moment to steady himself, the struggle to have a coherent thought clear on his face. “Okay, I need…”

Harry’s eyes begin to search the room, and the moment they settle on his bag in the corner, he rushes towards it.  Y/N watches the muscles in his back shift beneath his smooth skin as he unzips the bag, rummaging through it before pulling out a tiny foil square.  He tucks the package between his teeth as his hands fumble with his belt, undoing it quickly and pulling it off to toss to the floor.  He undoes his button and fly as he climbs back onto the bed, doing his best to waste no time as he situates himself between Y/N’s still spread legs.  

“Y’look so hot like this, y’know that?” He can’t stop himself from muttering the words as he pulls his pants down just enough to free his cock.  Y/N stares hungrily at how swollen he is, only half listening to Harry’s words as she watches his hand stroke himself, the other lifting the condom package to his teeth.  He tears the foil open, spitting the little tag from his mouth as he removes the condom from the foil.  That foil is soon tossed to the ground before Harry gives himself one last stroke, quickly but carefully rolling the condom down the length of his shaft.

Placing his hands on either knee, Harry spreads Y/N’s legs even wider, his eyes greedily taking in the sight of her bare core. “You’re dripping.” Harry says in a low voice, and before Y/N can reply with anything, he runs a ringed finger over her folds and slips it into his mouth.

“Ah—!” Y/N gasps at the unexpected sensation, the minimal contact enough to send her reeling. Harry grins at the response, loving how the pleasure from the small action is clearly written across her face.

“Sorry.” He says with a small shrug, lining himself up with her entrance. “Just wanted a little taste, tha’s all.  Couldn’t resist.” Harry drags the tip of his cock along Y/N’s slick core, a look of concentration overtaking his features. “I’ll go slow—”

A sound of protest leaves Y/N’s mouth. “No.  Go fast. I need it, Harry, please—” Her plea is cut off by Harry thrusting inside her with one sharp movement, and then Y/N stops talking completely.

There’s a slight feeling of pain, as she wasn’t lying when she said it’s been a while since she’s been with someone, but underneath that pain, pleasure is quickly building as Harry begins to snap his hips towards hers, finding a rhythm within a few thrusts. Y/N knows immediately that Harry is probably one of the largest men—if not the largest man—she’s ever been with, but that’s exactly what she needs right now.  The moment he filled her for the first time, there was a feeling of completeness that she’s been missing in her life for a long time.  She needed this, she thinks.  She needed to be stretched, to be filled, to be fucked, and Harry is the only one that could have fulfilled those needs this well. She’s convinced of it.

It’s far from the most romantic sex Y/N’s ever had; it’s all teeth clacking, biting, scratching, tugging, and growling.  And she knows that she should be concerned about how Harry’s teeth biting down on her shoulder is going to leave marks, especially when she has to wear a bridesmaid dress in less than 48 hours.  But all of that is exactly what she needs.  She doesn’t want Harry to whisper how much he loves her, how close he feels to her, how happy he is to be with her.  She doesn’t want to hear him say anything, except—

“Feel so fucking good around my cock.” He growls, his fingertips digging deeper into the flesh of her hips. “So bloody tight, Y/N…”

A sharp gasp tumbles out of Y/N’s throat as Harry swivels his hips, finding the exact spot she needs him the most. “Oh God, Harry, I—” Y/N scratches her nails down his back, surely leaving a trail of angry red marks in her place, as her other hand twists the sheets within her grip. “Fuck, right there, right there, right there—”

“Feels good, yeah? You like it?” Harry manages to bring a hand to her hair, tangling it within her locks and pulling hard. “Tell me.” His voice is so much lower than she’s ever heard it, his accent so much thicker, and the combination sends Y/N’s eyes rolling into the back of her head. “Tell me how much you love my cock, and—fuck—how much you love me fucking you.”

Y/N’s mouth falls open, a strangled whine echoing from the back of her throat as the head of Harry’s cock presses against her G-spot again. “I-I love it, Harry, I—your cock fills me so well—don’t stop, please don’t stop—!”

Using her moans as fuel, Harry begins to thrust faster, tugging on Y/N’s hair one last time before grasping her hips between his hands to gain more control.  If his flushed skin and the sweat covering his entire body is any indication, Y/N can tell that Harry is just as close as she is.  Her breathing quickens just as the sound of the bed creaking does, and she brings one hand down to her clit to rub fast circles, desperate to reach her release.

“Harry—” She gasps for what seems the millionth time that night, her body shuddering as she pushes closer and closer to the edge. “I’m so fucking close, Harry, please—”

The growl that falls from Harry’s mouth almost doesn’t sound like him.  It’s deeper, more animalistic, and so unlike the careful and slow voice that she’s gotten used to over the last five days.  Releasing one hand from her hip, he pushes her hand out of the way, replacing her fingers with his own to rub circles over her clit. “Cum for me, Y/N. I know you need it, baby, so just—” Harry groans as her walls squeeze his length. “Just cum.”

The command combined with his motions is all it takes to push Y/N over the edge.  A breathless gasp falls from her open mouth, and she screws her eyes shut as pleasure courses through her body.  It’s so much more intense than anything she’s felt before, so much more pleasurable, so much more dizzying, and just so much more. Small whimpers and Harry’s name are the only things she can think to say as her orgasm makes her movements stutter before falling limply back onto the bed.

“Fuck—” Harry moans roughly as he kisses her one more time, his mouth falling open against hers as her orgasm triggers his own.  Although the rhythm of his thrusts stutters, they don’t completely stop, and he continues to slam his hips against her own as he rides out his orgasm. “That’s it, baby—squeeze me tight—” Harry pants into Y/N’s mouth, barely registering anything he’s saying, let alone the pet name that’s begun to fall from his lips. “Christ…”

Things become a blur after that.  After Harry pulls out, all Y/N can focus on is how empty she feels without his thick cock filling her to the brim, and she doesn’t even realize that he’s gotten off the bed until he returns, his weight causing the whole bed frame to creak once more. With both of them so sweaty, Harry only pulls the top sheet over their panting bodies, pressing his head into the crook of Y/N’s neck as his eyes close.

Neither of them says anything, and for multiple reasons.  What exactly is there to say?  And, more pressing, what exactly is Y/N capable of saying right now?  There are no words running through her mind. All she can do is think in terms of physical contact and needs, and those two things tell her everything she knows in this moment.  She knows that Harry is in just his boxers now because she can’t feel the rough fabric of his pants against her bare skin.  She knows that she needs his hands on her, cupping her breasts the way he is. She knows that if he were to move away from her, she’d go chasing after him.  She knows that she’s completely worn out—completely fucked out, really—and above all else, she knows that whatever needs to be discussed between them can be discussed the next morning.

Harry, however, seems to have a different approach.  His face still pressed into her neck, he mumbles something against her sweat soaked skin, low and deep and completely inaudible.  Y/N feels an open mouthed kiss pressed to her neck, and then hears another mumble, this one even quieter than the last.

“Hm?” Y/N barely manages to hum the syllable in her exhaustion.

There’s no response, no repeat of the quiet phrases, and it takes Y/N a few minutes of feeling Harry’s breathing even out to realize that he’s fallen asleep.  If she were sober and had the mental capacity to examine things, Y/N would wonder what it was that Harry whispered into her skin.  But her brain is swimming in exhaustion and endorphins and tequila, and the only thing she can do is close her eyes and allow her breathing to sync up with the rise and fall of Harry’s chest.

…

The first thing Y/N registers the next morning is the shrill ringing of her cell phone, which somehow made its way to the bedside table in her drunken fervour the night before. The second thing she registers is the pounding of her head, like she can feel each pump of blood to her brain, and the uncomfortably dry feeling in her mouth, as if it’s been stuffed full of cotton. The third thing Y/N registers is—

“Christ.” Harry groans into her neck, his voice raspy from sleep and laced with irritation. “God, who is calling right now?”

Right.  The third thing she registers, probably the most complicated of all, Y/N thinks, is just how much of Harry’s taut and tattooed bare skin is pressed against her own.  His strong arms are thrown over her waist, clutching her tight to his chest. In the back of her mind, she’s vaguely aware of the chain of Harry’s cross pressing into her breast, probably leaving a small red indentation along with the other marks he left on her last night.

Last night.

Y/N lets out a small whine as the previous evening comes rushing back to her.  It’s a blur of alcohol, ABBA, and Harry.  Harry is everywhere, in every blurred picture her hungover brain can conjure.  Laughing at her from across the table.  Smirking at her on stage.  Staring at her with a hungry look in his eyes as he pulled her down on top of him on the bar, grinding his hips into hers.  Kissing her.  Kissing her multiple times.  Coming back to their room with his hands leaving scorching imprints over every inch of her.  And now, him laying next to her, clutching the two of them together like they’ve always done this.  Like it’s natural.

The phone rings again, louder than the last time, and Harry curses under his breath, the short exhale of air leaving goosebumps along Y/N’s neck.  He lifts his head just barely as he reaches across Y/N’s body, grabbing her phone from the bedside table and not bothering to check the caller ID as he answers.

“Hello?” He says, the rasp of sleep still clear his voice.  Within three seconds, Harry’s entire body tenses against Y/N, his arm constricting around her waist enough to shift her on the bed.

Y/N lifts her head up when she feels the change, finally opening her eyes just enough to read the change in Harry’s body language.  What she finds are dark and stormy green eyes, a swollen red mouth pressed into a thin line, and a deep crease between his furrowed brow, all of it such a contrast from the hazy memories of him the night before.

“I—yeah, she’s right here.” Harry mutters, his eyes snapping to Y/N’s face for just a moment. “I’ll—oh. Yeah, no, the trip’s been…good. Yeah.  Not too much traffic.” His arm moves off her waist as he pulls away from her, rolling onto his back as the bed creaks beneath them.  With his newly freed hand, Harry covers his eyes, rubbing them for a moment as the irritation on his face grows. “Yeah, it was nice of me to give her a ride.  Yeah.” He sucks in a breath. “Well, she’s—she’s awake now.  Here.  I’ll let you two talk.”

Y/N props herself up on one elbow, careful to keep the sheet pressed to her chest so that she’s not exposed. She knows that Harry’s already seen everything, touched everything, and kissed everything, but the sudden change in his demeanor is telling her that she needs to be guarded, even if she has no idea what caused it.

Harry holds out her phone for her, his face stony as Y/N slowly accepts it. “Harry—?” She begins, but he just gives a rough jerk of his head, and offers no other explanation.

Eyes still glued to Harry’s face, Y/N brings the phone to her ear, clearing the sleep from her voice. “Hello?”

“Hi.” The familiar cadence of Brant’s voice crackles through the phone speaker, an indication of how far away he is from her. “It’s good to finally hear your voice; I haven’t been able to catch you the last few days.”

Y/N keeps her eyes on Harry as her body goes cold, pressing the sheet tighter to her chest. “Brant.” She whispers his name unintentionally; her body won’t allow her to say it any louder. “Hi.”

At the sound of Brant’s voice leaving her lips, Harry throws the covers off of himself, jerkily pulling himself off of the low motel room bed.  He snatches his jeans off the floor, and doesn’t give Y/N another glance as he walks to the small bathroom, slamming the door behind himself.

“Hi.” Brant says again, completely unaware of what’s happening on the other end of the telephone line. “I’ve missed you.  Where are you now?”

“Uh, Cleveland.” Y/N says weakly, stumbling her way out of the bed to her duffel bag.  She grabs a new bra and t-shirt, along with her comfiest pair of pants.  Without Harry beside her, she’s freezing. “Today’s our last day of driving.”

“Oh, well, that’s good.” Brant replies easily. “The wedding is tomorrow, then?”

“Mhmm.” Y/N’s eyes flicker to the bathroom as the sound of the shower starting travels through the wood of the door. “And tonight is the rehearsal dinner.”

Brant makes a sound of acknowledgement on the other end of the phone. “That’ll be nice!  Do you know if you’re flying back?”

“Uh—” Y/N pauses her movements, her pants half pulled up her legs.  That, honestly, is a good question, and one which seems as though the answer is changing with every passing moment. “I guess I’ll call the airline and…see if I can fly back.  Maybe the storms will have passed.”

“You must have driven through them, right?  In Utah, or wherever they were?” Brant asks curiously. “Did they seem that bad? Honestly, I’ve always found thunder to be relaxing.  I think most people do.”

Y/N tugs her t-shirt over her head with one hand, accidentally bumping her chin as she does so.  The motion causes her to bite down on her tongue, and she lets out a curse under her breath, not even bothering to correct Brant.  It doesn’t matter, she thinks.  He probably wouldn’t remember. “Yeah.  Relaxing.”

The sound of the shower turning off catches her attention, distracting her from what Brant says next. “I—sorry—” She mutters in a distracted tone, raking her fingers through her sleep and sex mussed hair. “What was that?”

“I said let me know when you’re on your way back from New York, so I’ll make us a dinner reservation.” Brant repeats himself without suspicion of Y/N’s distracted tone. “We just got some new files at work that I think you’ll be very interested in.”

The bathroom door creaks open, and Harry emerges from the cloud of shower steam.  He’s dressed in just his pants, his marked chest still damp from the shower.  Although he catches Y/N’s eye for a moment, he quickly looks away, rubbing his towel through his wet curls as he turns to search for a shirt.  The red marks of Y/N’s nails are prominent on his otherwise unmarked back.

“Dinner?” Y/N repeats slowly, chewing on her cuticle as she takes a seat on the edge of the bed. “Are you—you still want to get dinner?”

“Of course.  I enjoy our weekly dinners, don’t you?” Brant asks, confusion finally slipping into his voice. “I’ve missed them.”

“I—” Y/N clears her throat, rubbing her thumb absentmindedly over her bottom lip. “Okay.  Yeah.  Dinner. I’ll, um, I’ll let you know when I book a flight home.”

“Sounds wonderful. Well, I’ll let you get on the road. Let me know when you’re available.” Brant’s voice already sounds more and more distant. “Goodbye.”

“Bye.” Y/N replies lamely, letting her phone drop to the crumpled bed sheets.

There’s a rustling behind her, the sound of a belt clicking, of the zipper on a duffel bag being pulled shut.  Y/N waits for a moment, to give Harry the chance to say something to her, but nothing comes.  Finally, she twists around on the bed, her nerves running on high.

Harry is completely dressed now, a black t-shirt covering his previously bare chest, and he’s tied his familiar green bandana into his damp chestnut locks.  His sunglasses are hanging on the neck of his shirt, but even without them covering his emerald eyes, Y/N can’t decipher anything that’s swirling within them.

“That—that was Brant.” She says finally, scratching a nail over the palm of her hand.

Harry jerks his head in a nod as he shoulders his duffel bag. “Yeah.  I heard.” Tapping his fingers against the leather strap, he finally spares a glance at Y/N. “He wants to take you to dinner, huh?”

Running her teeth along her bottom lip, Y/N takes a moment before she replies. “Harry, I—”

“I’ll be in the car.” He mutters, taking long strides to the door and unlocking it with a harsh turn of his hand. “Just hurry up, yeah?  I want to get on the road soon, so we’re not late to the rehearsal dinner.”

When he slams the door behind him, Y/N breaks.

…

And just like that, it’s like they’re back at square one.

It really feels like the first day all over again, Y/N thinks, in every sense of the sentiment. From the way she and Harry sit in silence, each avoiding the other’s gaze, to how every single one of Harry’s movements is filled with a tight and tense irritation.  Even the sound of Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer” is familiar, echoing through the speakers of the car like a soundtrack to an old memory.  

After four hours, the silence is finally getting to her.  She can’t stop shifting in her seat, her muscles seizing from hours on end in the same position—although, frankly, her soreness may partially be a result of her and Harry’s activities from the night before—and with every short and hard breath Harry sighs, Y/N gets more and more antsy.

“Harry.” She says finally, risking a glance at him from the corner of her eye.  He has one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the stick shift, both grips tight enough to stretch his skin over the bones of his knuckles until it goes white.  At the sound of Y/N’s voice, his jaw flexes, but he shows no other evidence that he heard her.

A frustrated sigh falls past Y/N’s lips. “Harry.” She says again, firmer this time. “Are you going to ignore me all the way to the Catskills?”

Realizing that he can’t feign deafness, Harry lets his shoulders lift once and drop down again in a quick motion. “’M not ignoring you.” He mutters, keeping his eyes glued to the road.

“We’re not talking. At all.” Y/N taps her fingers against her knee, just slightly off the beat of the music. “Shouldn’t we talk about what happened?”

“Why?” Harry asks, his voice flatter than she’s ever heard it. “What’s there to talk about?”

Y/N twists her body in her seat, her seat belt nearly cutting into her throat with how quickly she moves. “What the hell do you mean, what’s there to talk about?  There’s plenty!  Last night—”

Harry cuts over her with a sharp tone, still refusing to look away from the road. “Last night we got drunk, and we made a mistake.” His grip tightens even more on the gear shift as he moves it to accelerate the car. “And it shouldn’t have happened.”

It takes a few moment for the words to register in her brain, and Y/N blinks slowly as the process unfolds. “You think it was a mistake?” She tries to ask the question as nonchalantly as possible.

“I do.” Harry nods tightly, and while Y/N thinks that she can detect something else underneath his tone, his dark sunglasses hide the truth of his thoughts from her. “We got caught up with trying to—to pretend we’re not who we are.  But we know who we are.”

If Y/N’s brain couldn’t process Harry’s words a moment ago, it’s working in overdrive now as she draws a million different conclusions from the conversation.  What the fuck does “we know who we are” mean?  Wasn’t the whole point of this trip—the long lesson they’d learned together—that both of them were different than the other had thought? Hadn’t Harry proved to her, over and over, how he was so much more considerate and empathetic than she’d previously imagined?  Hadn’t she shown him that she wasn’t the Ice Queen he thought she was, wasn’t as controlling, wasn’t as perfect?  Hadn’t that been a good thing?  Hadn’t they bonded at roadside fruit stands, small souvenir shacks, ghost town gas stations, and dingy motel rooms?

But maybe…maybe she had imagined all of that, because the way that Harry is actively avoiding her gaze is telling her that he isn’t thinking the same thing.  Everything from his body language, to his tone of voice, to his attitude, is telling her that he’s just as stubborn and closed off as he was when they first met.  He hasn’t changed.  If he had, he wouldn’t be refusing to do something as simple as look at her.

Still, something about the interaction doesn’t sit right with Y/N.  Although she turns to face the windshield again, she keeps Harry in the corner of her gaze. “Is this…” She swallows hard. “Does this have something to do with Brant calling?”

A harsh snort is all the response she gets. “Christ, no.  Trust me, nothing that prick can do has that much of an affect on me.” Even from behind his sunglasses, Y/N can tell that Harry is rolling his eyes. “Although I suppose it is a reminder of where you belong.”

A flash of irritation rips up Y/N’s spine. “A reminder of what?” She repeats, eyes narrowing.

“You heard me, Y/N, don’t make me say it again.” Harry taps a finger to the song, perfectly on the beat. They’re out of sync, Y/N realizes. Had they ever been in sync?

No, she decides.  They hadn’t.  She’d just been fooling herself.  Being in the car for five days with only Harry for company had deluded her, but soon she’d be with Jo, and a million other people, and when she’s not in stuck in Harry’s car, smelling Harry’s cologne, listening to Harry’s music, she’ll have a clear head.  She’ll be able to think straight.

“Fine.” Y/N crosses her arms firmly over her chest, leaning her head against the cool glass of the passenger window.  A sign welcoming them to the state of New York whizzes past. “I won’t make you say it again.  You don’t have to say anything.”

…

“So?  What do you think?”

Y/N steps over the threshold of the cozy cabin, analyzing every little detail of the room as quickly as she can.  The interior seems to be one open concept room, cleverly split up with small architectural dividers.  The living room and kitchen flowed into each other smoothly, with a kitchen island dividing the space.  To the left of the living room is a small reading nook, holding a comfortable looking wicker swing chair and a half-size bookshelf that seems to be well stocked. Separating the reading nook from the rest of the cabin is the staircase, which Y/N presumes leads up to the master bedroom and bathroom that’s lofted above on the halved second floor. Between the wall of windows giving a beautiful view of the forest, the fire quietly cracking in the living room, and the potted plants scattered around the cabin, Y/N has to admit that she thinks she could live in this space for the rest of her life.

“It’s beautiful, Jo.” She finally replies, setting down her suitcase and duffel bag as she continues to look around.  She walks to the living room first, brushing her fingers over the cable knit blanket that’s draped over the back of the comfortable looking couch. “Is this for you and Laure?”

“Nope.  It’s for me and you.” Jo replies, walking to the kitchen and opening the fridge.  She pulls out a bottle of rosé, motioning over her shoulder to the cupboard. “Grab a couple wine glasses, would you?”

Y/N crosses to the kitchen, searching through the cupboards until she finds the glasses.  Setting them down on the island, she gives Jo a confused look. “Me and you?”

Jo gives her a familiar grin as she uncorks the wine, and the sight of it lights a warm fire in Y/N’s chest.  It feels like home. “It’s tradition for the bride not to see the bride before the wedding, isn’t it?  So after the rehearsal dinner, Laure and I will say goodbye until the ceremony tomorrow, and you and I—” She fills Y/N’s glass liberally. “Will have one last night of single girl fun.  And then you can have the cabin to yourself tomorrow night, because I will be on my honeymoon, and, hopefully, getting laid.”

Y/N smiles back at her as she lifts her glass, clinking it against Jo’s. “Sounds like a plan.” After taking a long sip, Y/N leans her elbows on the counter, propping her head in her hands. “I can’t believe you’re getting married tomorrow.  Married!”

“Yeah, well, that’s old news.” Jo waves her hand as she lowers her wine glass from her lips, her inquisitive eyes alight with mischief. “I’d rather know how the trip with Harry was. Are you two finally getting along? The last time I called, you actually sounded like you were enjoying yourself.”

Y/N pauses with her wine glass half lifted to her lips.  Part of her wants to tell Jo everything, because she always tells Jo everything. It feels wrong to have a secret from her.  But then again, she’s never had a reason to have a secret before.  Right now, however…the last thing Jo and Laure need the night before their wedding—three hours before the rehearsal dinner—is to be stressed because the maid of honour and the best man had a drunken one night stand in Cleveland, Ohio.  

“I wouldn’t say we’re getting along.” Y/N says diplomatically, taking a sip of wine between her words. “We’re…a bit better, I suppose.  But we’re not that close.”

“Really?” When Jo raises an eyebrow, Y/N almost swears that she can detect a hint of disappointment in her voice. “But Harry said—”

“He said what?” Y/N asks quickly, the diplomatic tone disappearing immediately.

Jo tugs on her bottom lip as she gives a small shrug of her shoulders. “Nothing, I guess.  I don’t know.  I overheard him and Laure talking last night, but I couldn’t really make much of it out.  It sounded like you two were at a bar.”

The new information makes Y/N pause.  Harry had called Laure while they were at the bar last night.  Harry had felt the need to call Laure while they were at the bar last night.  What had been so urgent, so pressing, that he needed to speak to her right then and there?

“A bar, yeah.” Y/N finally replies after a moment. “It was alright.  We just had a couple drinks to relax from being in the car.”

“Just drinks?  That’s all?  Nothing else?”

Y/N clears her throat, gulping down the rest of her wine before answering. “That’s it.  Nothing else.”

…

“Here you go, Miss Bride.” Y/N grins at Jo as she tops off her mimosa, fixing the tie of her pink silk robe as she settles back down in her chair. “Something to relax you, yeah?”

Jo glances up at Y/N, her pen pausing over the page of her notebook.  She’s careful when she moves her head, so as not to disturb the hairstylist that’s carefully curling her hair, but still manages to meet Y/N’s eye. “I’m relaxed.” She argues, but takes a sip of the drink nonetheless. “I just love mimosas.  You can’t blame me for that.”

Y/N gives a slight shrug as she brushes a strand of her own carefully styled hair over her shoulder. Jo, being Jo, had insisted on sleeping in as much as she could that morning, so when the hair and makeup lady had arrived two hours ago, Y/N had been the first one to get made over. Which, honestly, she quite enjoyed, but the real feat would be remaining picture perfect until the ceremony, which is still two hours away.

“Will you do something for me?” Jo asks suddenly, her pen still scratching over her notebook.  She finishes signing her name with a messy signature, waiting until the hairdresser has paused her movements to rip the page from the notebook and fold it up.  She quickly writes Laure’s name on the front and extends the note to Y/N. “Will you bring this to Laure?”

Although Y/N accepts the note from her automatically, there’s a flicker of hesitation in her voice. “This isn’t an explanation of why you’re leaving her at the altar, is it?”

Jo flips Y/N off with an elegantly painted fingernail. “No, you jerk.  We agreed to write letters to each other right before the wedding.  As a little keepsake.”

A sudden lump develops in Y/N’s throat as she turns the note over in her hands, her mind flickering back to the last time she’d read something Jo wrote for Laure.  How Harry’s voice had sounded reciting Laure’s words for Jo. “You two are sickeningly sweet, you know that?” Y/N finishes her mimosa before standing up, tightening her robe once again. “I’ll take it to her now. Where’s her cabin?”

“Just down the path towards the resort.  Take a left when you reach the arrow sign.” Jo instructs her, setting her notebook down beside her before relaxing back into her chair.  Her eyes close as the hairdresser continues styling her hair. “You’ll find it.”

Y/N nods, slipping on her scuffed up Vans before dashing outside.  When the slight chill in the morning air hits her, she pulls her silk dressing gown around her tighter, and debates whether or not she should grab a proper jacket.  She decides against it, however, and ignores the goosebumps popping up on her bare legs as she begins to walk down the path Jo mentioned.

It’s a quiet and calm morning, and Y/N can hear birds chirping and flittering through the pine trees around them.  The trees themselves add a wonderful scent to the air, in addition to the faint smell that indicates it may rain later.  Glancing up, Y/N can see that the sky is overcast, giving another indication of future weather patterns.  A small sigh escapes her.  A storm would be just the thing that’s needed today, she thinks wryly.  

When Y/N reaches the arrow sign, which points towards the lake, the main resort building, and the cabins, she takes a sharp left.  And practically slams into Harry’s chest.

On instinct, Harry’s strong hands grip her arms, steadying her as she stumbles back from him.  Y/N’s eyes widen as she registers who she almost walked into, and she can tell Harry is just realizing it’s her.  His grip on her tightens for just a moment before it releases, and he takes a step back from her, creating space between their bodies.

“Sorry.” Y/N says after a moment, clearing her throat. “I was just—”

“Yeah.” Harry holds up his hand, and for the first time Y/N realizes that he’s holding a note identical to hers. “You’re on messenger duty too, huh?”

Biting her lip, Y/N nods slowly, holding up her own note. “Mhmm.”

The two of them stare at each other for a moment, and Y/N doesn’t miss how Harry’s green irises pause during his scan of her bare legs.  Crossing her ankles together, Y/N lets her eyes wander too, admiring for a moment how Harry’s grey sweatpants cling to his hips.  But only for a moment.

“Well, here.” Y/N pushes the note towards him, taking the note that he trades her in return. “How’s Laure doing?”

Harry gives a half shrug, turning Jo’s note over and over in his fingers. “Pretty decent, except she won’t eat anything.  Says she’s too nervous.”

Y/N cracks a small smile at the image of Laure, someone who is usually so self assured and confident, being too nervous about anything. “Tell her she can’t have a drink until she eats.  That’s how I got some toast into Jo.”

“I’ll do that.” Harry says with a terse nod.  

A beat of silence falls between the two of them, the only sounds audible being the chirping of birds and the wind in the trees.  The latter sends a shiver through Y/N, and she wraps her arms around herself to rub her bare skin, trying to find a bit of warmth in the shade of the forest.

A crease appears between Harry’s brow as he registers the motion, and he quickly shrugs off his own jacket.  Before Y/N can refuse, he’s draping the fabric around her shoulders, careful not to touch any bare skin.

Although Y/N fixes the drape of the jacket, her mouth opens to protest. “Harry—”

“I should go.  I have to give this to Laure, and get her to eat something.” Harry’s voice is gruff as he takes a step back. “I suppose I’ll…see you at the wedding?”

Y/N nods slowly, her fingers still grazing over the hem of the jacket. “Yeah.” She should say more, she thinks.  She should voice her anger, or her hurt, or whatever the hell it is that’s curdling like a hot ball of lead inside her stomach, but she can’t think of the words. “Yeah, I—” I’m sorry.  I miss you. I wish I could take it back.  I wish I could do things over. “I’ll see you at the wedding.”

…

“Uh, hello.  Can everyone hear me?”

Y/N watches with expectant eyes as Harry leans forward over the podium, his pink lips brushing against the microphone for just a moment before he takes a step back.  He looks so different than the last time she’d seen him with a microphone, she thinks.  He’s dressed so much more formally, in a striking emerald suit that matches the colour palette of the wedding, along with Y/N’s dress.  His cheeks are flushed from champagne, his eyes bright, but there’s a hint of nerves under his thick accent.  

Harry raises his fist to his mouth, clearing his throat quietly as he unfolds a piece of paper and smooths it on the podium. “For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Harry Styles.  I have had the honour of being Laure’s best man today, as well as her best friend since we were teenagers.” Harry pauses his speech to smile at Laure, the fondness for the bride apparent in his eyes. “We’ve been through a lot together—I’ve watched her go through a lot, too—and she’s always come out on the other side better than ever.  An example of this is when she made the decision—after living in England her whole life, never leaving, living in the same small brownstone for eighteen years—to move to America for university.”

Y/N lifts her champagne to her lips, taking a small sip while keeping her eyes glued to Harry.  The more he talks, the more relaxed he appears, as he naturally falls into the role of a performer again.  Out of the corner of her eye, she can practically see him charming every woman in the room, and it takes all her concentration not to roll her eyes.

“She’d made the decision a bit impulsively, and—in true Laure fashion—stuck to it like the stubborn person she is.” Harry laughs lightly, shaking his head at the memory as Jo nods in agreement beside Y/N. “She was so certain that moving was what she wanted, so determined to do it—and then the night before her flight, she showed up at my house in tears, talking about how she couldn’t possibly go through with the move.  She couldn’t leave behind everything she’d known.” Glancing down at his notes for a moment, Harry takes a deep breath before continuing. “It freaked me out a bit, I won’t lie.  To see someone who’s usually so sure of themselves question such a big decision. But I assured her that everything would be fine, that moving forward was always scary, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t the right thing to do.  Life always pushes us forward, whether we’re ready for it or not.  So Laure left, and a month later, I decided to go visit her in America, expecting to find her incredibly homesick, in tears, a mess.” A small smile begins to play at the corner of Harry’s lip. “Instead, I arrived to find her adjusted, happy, and about to go on a date with a girl she had met named Jo.”

A laugh ripples through the wedding guests, and Y/N can’t help but smile in spite of herself.  

“And I, uh…I was at a loss for words that day.” Harry’s eyes flicker to the head table, settling on the two brides with a happy smile, and yet…something in his eyes looks flatter, like he’s trapped in a deep thought. “I thought I was going to visit my friend, and comfort her, and instead I found her on a date, completely fine.  She didn’t need me to comfort her.  She was—and still is—so incredibly resilient. She always has been.”

Harry’s eyes travel again, but this time, they settle on Y/N.  She shifts in her seat as he looks her over, his eyes phasing emotions again while his tongue swipes over his lips quickly. “So anyways—” Harry quickly looks away when he catches Y/N’s eye, turning his attention back to the audience of wedding guests. “I suppose I’m the one to thank for this marriage, because if I hadn’t pushed Laure to come to America, she would never have met Jo.” An easygoing smile pulls at his pink lips as the crowd laughs lightly. “And now, Laure…you’re at that same place again.  A new beginning.  Except this time, you’re not alone.  You managed to find something that most of us…” Harry hesitates again. “Most of us spend our entire lives searching for, and when we find it, we manage to f—screw it up.” His eyes flicker to Laure’s grandmother when he catches the curse word, and Y/N hides a small laugh behind her champagne glass. “But you didn’t. You and Jo…you’re lucky.  You figured out what you wanted, and you didn’t let anything—fear, anxiety, or your…your own pride—” Harry swallows hard, his eyes flickering to Y/N once more, and the glance makes her skin burn beneath her dress. “—stop you.  You’re both an inspiration to all of us.  I love you two.  To Jo and Laure!”

Y/N murmurs the toast with the rest of the crowd, raising her glass of champagne and draining it as her head spins with Harry’s words.  A waiter walks by and quickly refills the glass, grazing by Harry as he makes his way back to his seat on Laure’s right side.  Y/N barely gives herself a moment to catch his unreadable emerald eyes before she stands, carefully picking up the hem of her dress as she walks to the podium. It’s her turn now.

Stepping up to the microphone, Y/N clears her throat, resting her free hand against the wood to steady herself. “Thank you, Harry, that was…lovely.” Y/N begins, allowing herself one more stolen look at him.  His brow is furrowed, hands folded together over the cream tablecloth as his eyes focus on her.

“My name is Y/N, and I’m the maid of honour.  Jo and I have been best friends since the first day of kindergarten, when she punched a boy in the nose for me, which, funnily enough, wasn’t the last time she’d have to do that.” A laugh rolls through the room, and Y/N gives an endeared look to Jo’s sheepish grin before turning to face the wedding guests again. “I’ve had the good fortune of having her on my side from day one, and…I know just how lucky that makes me.  There’s so many times where I’d…I wouldn’t have been able to handle what life threw at me if I didn’t have Jo with me.  She’s kind, and compassionate, and fiery, and just…the very best person I know. And if you know her, then I’m sure you’d agree.”

Y/N takes a moment to breathe, her parched tongue swiping quickly over her lips. “I’ve, um, I’ve never been a perfect person.  I’ve never been very good at…articulating what I feel, or—or making a hard choice. I’ve always followed a safer path, out of…fear, I suppose.” Not for the first time since she began talking, Y/N’s eyes travel to Harry.  He still has the same stoic expression over his features, but his eyes…she can tell he’s hanging on every word she’s saying, and is analyzing every syllable.

“But Jo has never done that.” Y/N continues, shaking her gaze from Harry to settle on her best friend. “Even when she’s been afraid, she’s pushed forward, usually dragging me along with her.  And it’s a good thing she has, because I wouldn’t have half the stories I have now if not for her.” Y/N cracks a smile. “But she just—when Jo loves you, you know it. She never hesitates to tell anyone. She never worries about it being too much.  She has the biggest heart, and if you’re lucky—really lucky—she’ll keep you inside it. And I used to worry about her, because in my mind, that was dangerous.  Being so open was so terrifying to me, I was certain that it would backfire for Jo.  And then she met Laure.”

Although it’s a struggle, Y/N manages to train her eyes on Laure without letting them travel to Harry. “Laure and Jo may seem different on the surface, but they both share giant hearts. And their differences balance each other out so perfectly.  You two—I never really believed in soul mates until I saw the two of you together.” Y/N admits, biting down hard on her lip when she catches Harry shifting in his chair from the corner of her eye. “But the way you two know each other, and speak to each other, and love each other…anyone who sees it can’t help but know that you’re meant for each other.  That you’ve been meant for each other since the beginning of time. Every choice you made, every path you took—all of it led you two to each other, because that’s what was destined to happen.  You—” Y/N’s voice catches in her throat, and she takes a moment to compose herself before speaking again. “You’re going to be happy together, because you were meant to be.  It’s as simple as that.”

Y/N knows that she can’t say anything else without beginning to unravel, so she simply raises her champagne glass in the air, deciding it’s best to leave it at that. “To Jo and Laure.”

Above the echoes of the wedding guests, Y/N can hear Harry’s unmistakable voice.

…

“‘She’s like the wind…through my tree’…”

With her champagne glass raised to her lips, Y/N pensively watches as Jo and Laure turn to the music in each other’s arms, holding one another close as the voice of Patrick Swayze drifts through the speakers.  When the pair had originally told Y/N that they wanted to dance to a song from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack for their first dance, Y/N had laughed at the choice.  Now, however, as she watches Laure brush back a strand of hair from Jo’s face, her lips drifting down to whisper something in her new wife’s ear, Y/N has to admit that the song is the perfect choice for them.

“They look happy, don’t they?”

Y/N recognizes Harry’s voice, not needing to turn her head away from the couple on the dance floor to know that he’s moved from his chair three seats down.  Although the feeling of his warm breath on her neck is enough to make her shudder, as well as bring back memories of the nights they spent together, Y/N does her best to keep herself composed.

“They do.” She agrees after a moment, setting her fluted glass down on the table.  She keeps her fingers around the base, gently gliding them over the smooth crystal absentmindedly as she finally turns her head just enough to catch a sight of Harry.

He’s moved himself to Jo’s chair, with one hand braced against the table and one hand lightly settled on the back of Y/N’s seat.  He removed his suit jacket after his speech, but his waist coat is still buttoned properly, despite the sleeves of his dress shirt now being rolled to his elbows, exposing his tattoos.  His face is just as pensive as it’s been all day, but there’s some sort of change that Y/N can’t quite put a finger on.  There’s less of a guard in his emerald eyes, she thinks, before turning her attention back to the dance floor.

“Do you…” Harry licks his lips once, swiping a hand through his carefully styled curls before brushing over the back of his neck. “Would you like to dance?  With me?”

Y/N’s movements against the crystal flute pause.  That question was the last thing she expected him to ask. “I…” Clearing her throat, she keeps her eyes focused on the swaying of Jo and Laure. “I don’t know.”

A vibration on the back of Y/N’s chair lets her know that Harry’s tapping his fingers against it, the pattern familiar after watching him play the same rhythm on the steering wheel for five days. “You don’t have to, so—don’t feel like you have to say yes.  But I just…I don’t know.  I thought it would be nice.”

Yes, Y/N thinks wistfully, pursing her lips slightly at the nervous tone in Harry’s voice.  It would be nice.  To be wrapped in his arms again, his body close enough that she can feel the pounding of his heart beneath his formal clothing.  To feel his calloused hands within her own again, and resting on her waist, pulling her closer to himself with every passing moment…

“It…” Y/N glances down for a moment, fixing a crease in her dress with careful attentiveness. “It would be nice, yeah.  Until we try ripping each other’s throats out in the middle of the wedding.”

The joke is only half a joke, and Harry’s laugh is only half in amusement. “I didn’t really plan on that.”

“Well, it seems that things we don’t plan on keep happening, so…” As the music begins to fade out, Y/N finally turns her head to look at Harry straight on. “That’s not really a reassuring statement.”

A flicker of irritation flits through Harry’s eyes, a sight that’s become familiar in all her years of knowing him. “It was a simple question, Y/N.  Do you want to dance or not?”

As Y/N’s own irritation escalates, she knows that she should say no.  The best thing for her to do right now would be to distance herself from Harry, to get some space to clear her head, and to keep herself from making a scene.  Whatever there is to talk about—if there even is something they need to talk about—can be done at a later date, preferably not in the middle of a wedding.  And yet—

“Fine.” Y/N finished off her champagne glass, setting it back down on the table gingerly as a new song begins to drift through the speakers.  “Let’s go.”

Harry stands from his seat first, extending a hand to Y/N to help her up.  Although she’s wary, she takes it, the sensation of his cool rings against her own fingers growing more and more familiar with each moment she spends touching them.  

A few more couples have joined Jo and Laure on the dance floor now, and Y/N and Harry fit right in as he leads her to the center, keeping her hand held firmly in his own as his free hand finds her waist.  Y/N rests her own hand on his shoulder, gripping his sturdy frame carefully.

“‘Is love so fragile…and the heart so hollow’…”

The song, Y/N realizes, doing her best to focus on anything but the way Harry’s gaze is locked onto her with a frightening intensity, is one that she’s heard a few times over their road trip together.  The beat of the song is as familiar as a memory as the two of them sway to it, their motions careful and controlled.

“‘You’re saying I’m fragile; I try not to be…I search only for something I can’t see’…”

Harry’s hand on her waist, Y/N can’t help but notice, is so much more unsure than it was a few nights ago, when he pulled her close on top of the bar.  When he guided her movements in a way that was so much more frenzied than he’s doing now, and in a way that she misses.  She’s missed it, that breathless feeling.  The feeling of not knowing what’s coming next, and being enthralled by the unknown of it all.

“‘I need you to love me…I need you today…give to me your leather…take from me my lace’…”

The corner of Harry’s lips quirking up ever so slightly lets Y/N know that he’s listening just as intently to the lyrics as she is, and has the same events and memories floating through his head.  His hand begins to get braver, tightening his grasp on her as his hand begins to rub gently over her hip.

“Harry…” His name slips from Y/N’s lips involuntarily as she meets his jade eyes in question.  From the corner of her eye, she can see Laure and Jo watching the two of them as they dance, whispering into each other’s ears like girls gossiping in a school hallway. “What—?”

“Sh.” The sound is soft as it falls past Harry’s red lips, the crease between his brow slackening slightly as he sighs. “Just…don’t speak.  Not right now.”

“‘You in the moonlight…with your sleepy eyes…could you ever love a man like me’…”

The request is easy enough, but Y/N can’t make herself listen to it as she cocks her head to the side, the furrow of her own brow matching Harry’s. “Why?”

“‘And you were right…when I walked into your house…I knew I’d never want to leave’…”

The breath that Harry sucks in is mostly taken through his teeth, his lips pursing immediately after as he contemplates his answer. “I just want to…remember this moment. Properly remember it, before tonight ends, and we…”

“‘Sometimes I’m a strong man…sometimes cold and scared’…”

“…We go our separate ways.” Harry finally finishes, his eyes shifting to the floor as he pulls Y/N even closer to his chest.  Her elbow is completely bent to her body as her fingers drift further from his shoulder, moving closer to where the slope of his neck begins.

Although the explanation makes sense, the thought of going a separate way from Harry catches Y/N’s breath in her throat, so much so that she can barely choke out a reply. “Okay.” She manages, the lump in her throat growing with every passing second.

“‘Lovers forever face to face…my city your mountains…stay with me stay’…”

Eyes drifting closed of their own accord, Y/N leans her head forward, settling her cheek into the curve of Harry’s shoulder.  The smell of his cologne lingers in the fabric of his emerald waistcoat, intoxicating her further with every breath she takes.

“‘I need you to love me…I need you today’…”

Something warm and soft presses against the top of Y/N’s head, and she knows that it’s Harry’s own cheek resting against her.  A gentle sigh falls from his mouth, and Y/N feels every moment of it, from the rise and fall of his chest against hers to the breath of air that blows slowly from his lips.  She memorizes the motions, something for her to play in her head again later when she’s alone on a plane back to L.A., where her regular life is waiting for her. Where Brant is waiting for her.

“‘Give to me your leather…take from me my lace’…”

Y/N quickly lifts a finger to her eye, wiping away the moisture that’s pooling on her lash line before returning her grip to Harry’s shoulder. “If I said…” She hesitates, taking the time to choose her words carefully.  She needs to choose them carefully. “If I said that I loved every moment of the road trip…would you believe me?”

“‘Lovers forever face to face…my city your mountains…stay with me stay’…”

Harry squeezes her hand in his own, his entire body tightening in response to her words, and for a moment, Y/N fears that she’s overstepped.  An apology is already forming in her mouth, about to spill from her tongue, when Harry’s response cuts her off, his voice hesitant and anxious and so quiet that she almost can’t make out the words.

“If I said that I loved every moment I’ve ever spent with you, and not just these last five days, would you believe me?”

“‘I need you to love me…I need you today’…”

Y/N’s eyes snap open, her head quickly lifting from Harry’s shoulder to look at him with wide and astonished eyes.  Although the struggle is written clearly upon his face, he doesn’t shy his eyes away from hers, and instead holds her gaze as the voice of Stevie Nicks continues to croon over the speakers.

“‘Give to me your leather…take from me my lace’…”

As the music fades out, another song begins to fade in, increasing the tempo and causing the other couples around them to break apart and mill around the dance floor.  Only Y/N and Harry stay pressed together, stuck in a bubble of all their own, frozen in a moment of change, and unable to move forward or back in the same way they once had.

Over the fabric of her dress, Y/N can feel Harry’s thumb brushing against her hip, sending electrifying pulses throughout her body.  A loose curl has fallen from his styled hair into the path of his eyes, dusting over his eyelashes lightly as he blinks.  Did she believe him, she wonders?  Could she believe him?

“Can we…” Her mouth is dry when she tries to respond, and she licks her lips quickly, noticing how Harry’s eyes flicker to follow the motion. “Can we discuss this after the wedding? I just—I don’t want to take attention away from Jo and Laure—”

“Yeah.” Harry nods roughly, his hand squeezing hers one last time before he slowly drops it, stepping back from her with great care.  Y/N has to bite her tongue to stop herself from whining in protest.

“Yeah.” Harry repeats the word as he fixes his hair, his eyes drifting from hers. “We can discuss it later.”

…

Later, after Jo and Laure cut the cake, after each of them danced with their parents; later, after the staff members began to clear the plates from every table, after everyone waved goodbye to Jo and Laure as their car drove off to the honeymoon cottage snuggled further up the mountain side; later, after guests began to depart in their own cars; later, after Harry snagged a bottle of merlot from the kitchen, after Y/N slipped off her heels during the walk back to her cabin, the feeling of the ground beneath her feet oddly comforting; later, after Y/N opened the door, allowing Harry to step in first before following…

Later is each of them standing in the kitchen, still in their formal clothes, more disheveled than they were at the start of the day, as Y/N opens the cupboard and reaches for the two largest wine glasses she can find.

“Here.” She sets them down on the counter, allowing Harry to fill them to the brim with the crimson liquid. He pushes a nearly full glass towards her before taking the other in his hand, each of them bringing the glasses to their lips for a long drink.

Harry is nervous, and Y/N can tell.  She’s gotten a bit better at reading him over their journey together, and she can see the anxiety that’s running through him in his body language.  However, although the tapping of his fingers, the rubbing of his lips, and the crease between his brow is a major indication, she knows the real reason she’s aware of Harry’s nerves is because she’s hyper aware of her own.

“You, uh—” Harry clears his throat quietly, the action half reflex, half habit. “You looked really pretty today.  Beautiful, actually.”

A light flush heats Y/N’s cheeks, both from the wine and his compliment. “Thank you.” She murmurs, glancing down at her forest coloured dress. “I’m just glad the dress survived the car.”

A chuckle falls from Harry’s lips as he lifts his wine glass again. “Yeah.  A real miracle, huh?”

Y/N taps her fingers anxiously against the kitchen island, the coolness of the countertop a nice contrast to her heated skin. “Well, considering all the things that didn’t survive…” She trails off, watching as Harry’s face falls when the meaning of her words washes over him.

Still, Harry steels his shoulders, resolve painting itself over his pained features. “You mean us, yeah?” His tone is blunt and to the point. “After we…?”

“I just—what the fuck was that, Harry?” Y/N asks, her voice every bit as exasperated and exhausted as she feels. “I thought we—and then you—and now, saying you—you’ve always…?”

“I know I’ve been—I know I fucked up.” Harry drops his head, shame clear in his voice as he twists a ring around one of his fingers. “I know that, Y/N.  I’m so sorry—”

“I’m just so confused, Harry.  Really, I—” The words spill out of her now, faster than they ever have. “I know we were drunk when we fucked, but I…I liked it.  And the next morning felt so good, and so right, and then Brant called, and it was like…a switch flipped inside you.  And you called us a mistake.  So I just—I don’t understand how you could say that less than forty-eight hours ago, and then tell me you’ve always loved being around me tonight.”

Harry’s tongue swipes over his lips once before he inhales slowly, collecting and preparing himself for the conversation. “I’m sorry.” He says lowly, his accent thicker with remorse. “I didn’t want to—I felt like it was a mistake, but not because of anything you did.  It was because I knew that I had feelings for you, and I knew that you didn’t have feelings for me.”

The admission of his feelings was clear in his speech before he actually spoke the words, but the verbal acknowledgement of them still leaves an ache in Y/N’s chest as she refutes the statement. “You didn’t know that!” She says hotly, her hand tightening around her glass with every breath. “You wouldn’t let us talk about it, so how could you know?”

“Because Brant called!” While Harry’s voice doesn’t raise in volume, it does in intensity. “Brant called, and asked you to dinner, and you said yes!”

“What, did you want me to break things off with him right then and there?  Over the phone?” Y/N demands, an incredulous look on her face as she appraises Harry. “I’m not a bitch, Harry.  That would be heartless, and I’m not—I don’t want to hurt anyone. And maybe, maybe, it would be different if I felt anything for Brant, anything that was even a fraction of what I’ve felt for you, the good and the bad, but I don’t!”

Y/N’s words hang heavy in the air between them, flickering through the room like the dim light of the light fixture above them.  There’s just enough light, however, that she can watch as her words roll over Harry, sinking into every pore of his body until all the defiance rolls out of him.

“What—” His voice cracks with emotion, and he takes a moment to compose himself before he tries again. “What do you feel for me?”

Turning her eyes down to her wine, she raises the glass to her lips, draining more than half of it in one swift motion.  When she speaks again, her voice is slick with the liquor. “What does it matter?” She asks softly. “If you couldn’t believe it enough to not try to push me away the moment I let myself be vulnerable?”

“It wasn’t—your vulnerability wasn’t apparent to me.” Harry lifts the wine bottle automatically, refilling Y/N’s glass with merlot. “It was mine that scared me.  Brant called, and you spoke to him, and I felt like—it was like that first date all over again, when you gave your attention to that guy from your class.  I felt…” Staring into his own wine, Harry mulls over his words as if the liquor can reveal the perfect thing to say. “I felt like a jealous teenager again, like a proper idiot.  And I—you’ve always been so much more put together than me, and refined, and steady, and Brant clearly fits into your world neatly, so I—”

“Stop fucking doing that.” Y/N’s voice is as sharp as ice, as harsh as frostbite. “How many times can we prove to each other that we’re more than our projections of the last seven years?  How many times until it sticks?”

Harry studies Y/N’s face, his emerald eyes scanning over every slope and curve of her expression before he replies. “I didn’t think you felt anything for me.  I’m still not…sure…”

“Harry, I feel—I feel everything with you.” Y/N’s voice drops to a hushed whisper, as if what she’s admitting is top secret. “I feel like I can be myself.  I can be as stupid or serious as I need to be, and you’ll just…accept it.  The only person I’ve ever felt that with before is Jo.  No one else.  And it—it’s terrifying, but good, and then you pushed me away again, and that fucking hurt.  You have the ability to hurt me now, and the moment you got it, you did.”

“I didn’t know.” Harry mumbles the words, rubbing his hand over his flushed cheeks slowly. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.  If I’d known—”

“But you didn’t even ask. You can’t do that, okay?” When Y/N looks up at him, she can see the vulnerability on her face reflected in Harry’s eyes. “Please.  I don’t care if you get jealous, or angry, or—or anything else that’s as irritating as I know you can be—” A soft snort echoes from Harry. “Just be honest with me. Tell me.  Ask me.”

“What about…” Harry reaches across the kitchen island, taking Y/N’s hand in his own and rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. “What I said to you earlier?  I told you how I felt.   And I asked what you feel for me.  Can you be honest with me about that?”

“I can.” Y/N says carefully, pursing her lips for a moment. “I…I’m not sure if I’m ready to say something as…decisive as you do.  I’ve never really—I know that I feel…more intensely for you than I ever have for anyone else.  I just don’t know…how intense, or…I can’t describe it.”

“Maybe I can help.” Harry tugs gently on Y/N’s arm, bringing her around the kitchen island to his side of the room.  With his hand still holding hers, he leads her to the couch, sitting down and pulling her with him.  He’s mindful of the skirt of her dress, fixing it carefully so that it doesn’t get caught beneath her. “To me, love is…wanting to be near the other person. Do you want to be near me?”

Y/N nods softly. “I do.” She whispers into the darkness, the cabin quiet save for their breathing and the chirping of crickets outside.

“And what about…” Harry lifts a hand to caress her face, his calloused fingers gentle against her warm skin as he brushes over her cheekbone. “This?  Do you like being touched by me?”

Y/N’s skin burns beneath his touch. “I do.  A lot, actually.”

“And even when we were arguing…when we weren’t speaking to each other, and wouldn’t look at each other…” Harry worries his bottom lip between his teeth, the motion staining his lips an even darker pink than they were before. “Did you want me as badly as I wanted you?”

Harry’s other hand begins to rub Y/N’s thigh over her dress, still heating her skin even with the layers of fabric preventing actual contact.  Y/N’s eyelids flutter at the sensation. “Yes.” She breathes, leaning her head against the back of the couch. “I did.  I still do.”

“Obviously, I…I’d like it if you could know exactly how you feel, but…” Harry shrugs slightly, his hand drifting down to rest on the side of Y/N’s neck. “I know that it’s different for you.  You’re not used to it.  You don’t have to put a label on it, yeah?  I just want you to be comfortable with me.  As long as you’re mine, you can take as long as you need to express how you feel.”

Relief spreads through Y/N’s body at Harry’s words.  The freedom to take her time, to feel like she doesn’t need to have all the answers right away, is something that none of her past partners have ever offered her, and a familiar sensation begins to curl itself around Y/N’s core as Harry caresses her neck. “Yours?” She repeats slowly, her senses feeling like they’re processing through molasses. “Am I yours?”

“I’d like you to be.” The corner of Harry’s pink lip pulls up, but there’s an air of anxiety in his words. “Are you?”

The fabric of her dress swishes beneath Y/N as she pulls herself into Harry’s, managing to settle one knee of either side of him beneath the layers of tulle. “I am.” She murmurs, her hands wrapping themselves around his sturdy shoulders.  Their noses bump together as she moves closer, breath mingling in the small space between their lips. “I’ll be yours.”

Harry’s breath washes over her as he sighs gently, the fragrance of merlot and champagne settling on the back of her tongue. “Laure and Jo will be happy.”

A small laugh, mostly an exhale of breath more than anything else, sounds from Y/N as she twists the curls at the nape of Harry’s neck between her fingers. “Mmm.  Probably because they won’t have to break up any more fights.”

“No, no, we’ll still fight. It keeps things interesting.” Harry’s lips curl into a satisfied smirk, his nose brushing over Y/N’s once more as he tilts his head to the side. “We’ll just have a lot more fun when we make up with each other.”

Harry’s fingers find the bare expanse of Y/N’s back between the straps of her dress, gliding his fingertips over her warm skin.  The sensation of his cool touch against her sends a shiver up her spine, and she twists herself closer to him in return, but keeps the inch gap between their lips. There’s an anticipation between them, but also a stubbornness.  A refusal to be the first one to break.

“A lot more fun?” Y/N questions, massaging the tips of her fingers into Harry’s scalp.  She lets her painted nails scratch along him gently, just enough to make his eyelids flutter at the sensation. “What exactly do you mean?”

“I could tell you…” Harry purrs his words, pressing his head back into the palm of her hand. “Or I could show you.  It’s up to you.”

His words offer Y/N a choice.  Will she continue to push him?  Or will she give in?

When her hands retreat from his hair, Harry whines quietly, his half lidded eyes staring up at her in confusion.  Y/N braces herself against his shoulders as she carefully removes herself from his lap, picking up the fabric of her dress with one hand while grabbing the half empty bottle of wine with the other.

Harry watches as she takes a step backwards, her eyes glued to his as she appraises him.  As comfortable—and as attractive—as he looks on the couch with his emerald slack covered legs spread, sleeves half rolled up, chest heaving from their close contact, Y/N needs him somewhere else.

Harry’s tongue glides slowly over his parted lips as Y/N raises the bottle of wine to her mouth, taking a small sip before turning on her heel and walking to the staircase that leads up to the master bedroom of the cabin.  She only gets two steps up the stairs before she feels Harry’s hot breath on the back of her neck, his back and arms bracing against her as she climbs slowly.  With one hand still holding her dress out of her way, Y/N steps over the summit of the stairs, not waiting for Harry before she makes her way to the bedroom.

The bedroom itself has been tidied by the hotel staff since Y/N last saw it, and she’s never been more thankful for it; she and Jo had left it in a mess in their efforts to get ready that morning.  Instead, the staff have perfectly made the bed, complete with all the decorative pillows that Y/N had tossed onto the floor the night before, set fresh candles on the night tables and dresser, and left carefully rolled white towels on the edge of the bed.

A pair of tattooed arms wrap around Y/N’s waist, and a smile lights up her face as she falls back into Harry’s strong chest. “Your room is lovely.  Much nicer than those motels.” He rasps in her ear, teeth just barely grazing her lobe as he speaks. “Do you have a lighter for the candles?”

“You want to light candles?” Y/N raises an eyebrow as she drops her dress from her hand in order to trail her fingers over Harry’s wrist. “That’s a bit much, isn’t it?”

Pressing a light kiss to her neck, Harry shakes his head. “No, I don’t think so.” He murmurs. “We were so rushed last time.  I want to enjoy tonight.”

A smile creeps over Y/N’s face as she carefully unlaces Harry’s hands from her waist. “The lighter is in the bedside table, on the left.”

As Harry turns his attention to searching through the drawer, Y/N sets the wine down on the dresser, appraising her reflection in the mirror propped on top of it.  She begins to unpin the hair that had been carefully styled that morning, her hair only a fraction as put together as it had been. Setting the pins down on the wood surface in front of her, she takes her time taking off her earrings and bracelets, her eyes following Harry’s movements in the mirror.

The broad expanse of his back is still covered by his green waistcoat, rumpled as it stretches over the slope of his body.  With each movement, a new flicker of candlelight begins to glow in front of him, illuminating the silhouette of his body with soft flickers of orange and yellow.

“You’re a bit of a romantic, aren’t you?” The question slips from Y/N’s lips before she’s turned around completely to watch Harry’s actions without the aid of the mirror. “You like this sort of thing—the candles, the cabin in the forest, coming from a wedding…”

Harry’s body shakes as a laugh rolls through him, his side profile barely visible as he turns to light another candle next to the bed. “I suppose I am, yeah.  Are you not?”

Y/N gives half a shrug, tucking her now loose hair behind her ears as best she can. “I don’t know. I’ve never really considered myself one…never saw the point in grand gestures.  They’re not very realistic.”

“They don’t have to be realistic.  That’s why it’s a grand gesture.” Harry says easily, sauntering towards her with a dimpled grin on his face.  He reaches carefully behind Y/N, his thumb flicking the lighter to spark as he tilts the candle towards the flame. “And I’d hardly call candles a grand gesture. Haven’t you ever been properly romanced?”

Y/N tugs her bottom lip between her teeth as she contemplates the question. “Not…really? I mean, there’s been a few things, but nothing…I don’t know.  We were always busy—”

“You can always make time for someone if you want to.” Harry sets the lit candle back down on the dresser, repeating the motion with two more before setting the lighter down as well. “Hasn’t Brant ever—well, I know he hasn’t, actually—” A snort leaves Harry’s mouth as he begins to run his hands over Y/N’s bare shoulders, massaging the skin gently. “Haven’t any of your exes asked you what you wanted, or…done something spontaneous for you, like a surprise gift, or trip, or…?”

Harry trails off as he registers the expression on Y/N’s face, and feels the tensing of her shoulders beneath his hands. “Um, not really.” She says, doing her best to keep her tone light. “We were always very…scheduled.  A surprise trip wasn’t really feasible.”

The corner of Harry’s mouth tugs down into a frown, his hands continuing to work over the knots in Y/N’s shoulders as he turns her around.  He presses himself behind her, moving her hair to one side of her neck before pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her spine. “The more we speak, the more I see why you’re so guarded, love.” He murmurs, his tone carefully controlled. “You don’t need to be like that with me.  If you’re…afraid of what I’ll think, or…you know I tease you, but you’re always fine with me.  We can be serious—”

“No.” Y/N shakes her head adamantly, glancing at Harry over the curve of her own shoulder as she rests one hand over his own. “I don’t want to be serious.  I’m so sick of being serious.” She maneuvers Harry’s hand to her back as she speaks, guiding his fingers until they find the zipper of her dress. “I like that you tease me, and aren’t afraid to irritate me, and how you care enough to listen to what I say…”

The sound of her zipper slowly being tugged down pricks Y/N’s ears, and she watches Harry’s movement in the mirror.  There’s a clear look of concentration painted onto his expression as he helps remove her dress, but the moment he catches her eye, he locks into her gaze.  As he finishes pulling down the zipper, he keeps his emerald eyes glued to hers in the reflective surface, his stare becoming more and more hypnotic with every passing second.

“So what you’re saying is…” Harry’s lips brush against her ear as he leans closer to her, pressing a sensual kiss right over her pulse point. “You want me to romance you, but still annoy the shit out of you?”

Although it’s breathless, the sound that leaves Y/N’s mouth is unmistakably a laugh as Harry begins to trail kisses down her neck, slipping the strap of her dress down her shoulder. “Yes. It’s oddly endearing.”

“Oddly endearing is my middle name.” Harry’s laugh matches hers as his hands continue their task of removing her clothing.  Once Y/N’s straps are free of her shoulders, Harry helps her step out of the hunter green dress, carefully maneuvering the full skirt to the corner chair without creasing it.

“Wouldn’t want to ruin your pretty dress, now would—” Harry freezes mid sentence as he turns back around, his mouth falling slack as if seeing Y/N for the first time.

Despite having been naked and underneath his body less than forty eight hours ago, Y/N crosses her arms over her body.  The black teddy bodysuit she’d purchased to wear under her bridesmaid dress had, at the time of purchase, been more for practicality than anything.  The underwire of the strapless bra supported by the corseted middle was comfortable enough to keep her properly situated in her dress without a wardrobe malfunction, as well as serving as a barrier between Y/N’s sensitive skin and the stitched seams of the gown.  It’s not until this moment, with Harry staring at her with a hungry stupor in his eyes, does Y/N realize how racy the undergarment is.

“What?” She says after a moment, a note of uncertainty creeping into her voice. “I—it’s not like you haven’t seen me before.”

The nerves woven into her tone are enough to snap Harry from his thoughts. “This is…different.” He approaches her again, his steps slow and measured as he lays a hand on her lace covered side. “I was pissed last time I had you…didn’t get to properly take in the sight of you…” Harry scratches his nails over one of the mesh panels, his jade eyes darkening another shade once more.

“I didn’t get to enjoy you, either.  And yet you’re still fully clothed.” Y/N begins to fiddle with the buttons of Harry’s emerald waistcoat, working them open one by one as she forces herself to steady her breathing. “That’s not very fair, is it?”

“I suppose it’s not. Not fair at all.” Harry allows her to pull his waistcoat from his body, and it’s not until Y/N reaches the third button of his button down shirt that she realizes how much he’s enjoying her undressing him.

Every breath that Harry takes is ragged and shallow, his chest heaving with the effort to keep himself controlled as Y/N’s fingers trail down the exposed skin of his chest.  The sight of Harry’s throat tightening as her nails scrape his skin is too much for her to resist, and she quickly attaches her lips to the base of his neck as she pulls the now unbuttoned shirt from his body.

Swiping her tongue over the new mark at the base of his throat, Y/N manages to pull a moan from Harry, and her lips pull back into a small smile against his hot skin at the sound. “You sound really nice when you do that.” She murmurs, her hand trailing down to his belt as she speaks.

She can feel Harry swallow again, and when he replies, his voice is as low as she’s ever heard it. “Then you’ll have to make me do it more, won’t you, pet?” His eyes are blown darker with lust as he grips Y/N’s hips tight, pressing the pads of his fingers into her flesh. “Are you going to give me moans that are just as pretty?  Or am I going to have to pull them from your stubborn little mouth?”  

Y/N’s breath hitches in her chest at his dominant tone, her mouth falling open in a gasp against Harry’s collar bones.  She can feel the vibrations of his laugh in her lips, the tingle not unlike the burning she feels in her core, and Harry’s hand travels from her hips to her chin as the burning increases.

“Cat got your tongue, hm?” Harry grips Y/N’s chin between his thumb and forefinger as she fumbles with his belt, the action clumsier without her looking at her movements. “Don’t get all shy now, m’love.  It’s just me. We’ve been here before.”

Pulling his belt from his dress pants, Y/N tosses it to the side, her fingers resting on the warm skin of Harry’s abdomen. “I know.  It just feels different now, that’s all.  After everything we said, and…” Her eyes are unable to hold his as she drifts off, and she drops her gaze to his swallow tattoos as her cheeks redden.

A gentle tap on her chin brings her eyes back to meet Harry’s intense gaze. “I know it feels different, but that’s not bad.” Harry’s voice softens as his thumb begins to stroke over her skin, the motion slow and gentle. “It can be really good, actually. I told you, I can properly enjoy you now.  If you’ll let me, that is.  It’s up to you.”

Y/N takes a deep breath, dragging her teeth over her bottom lip as she reaches behind her back.  Her fingers quickly find the laces at the back of the garment, and she pulls the tie undone slowly, making sure to keep her eyes locked with Harry’s the entire time. “I want that.  I want you, Harry.  I want…all of you.”

She barely has her laces undone before Harry is grasping at her hips, pulling her body tight against his again for another desperate kiss.  His lips glide between hers smoothly, fitting together like two pieces of a puzzle before he lets his teeth nip at her bottom lip, tugging at the flesh in a hungry way.  With her lingerie hanging loosely off her body, Harry easily yanks the material down her body, fully exposing Y/N’s breasts and stomach.  

The sight of her exposed skin is enough to grab Harry’s attention from the removal of clothing, and he leaves the lace bodysuit hanging at her hips as his kisses begin to travel down her jaw, her neck, her collar bones, to her breasts.  A breathless gasp falls from Y/N’s mouth as Harry’s open mouthed kisses become wetter and longer, until his hot mouth is wrapped around her stiff nipple.

“Harry—” Y/N tangles a hand in his already ruined curls, yanking hard at his hair as his teeth scrape against her sensitive skin. “God, be careful—”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Harry murmurs the phrase against her breast, barely pulling his mouth off enough to speak.  His eyes, although half lidded with lust, flicker up to her with a playful look. “Y’really want me to be careful, pet?  Or do you want me to devour you?”

His words send another flood of heat to her core, and it takes all of Y/N’s focus to keep herself standing upright. “Shut up.” She mutters, voice pitched higher than normal as she tugs on Harry’s hair again, half in need and half to solicit a groan from him.

The groan he emits, however, just adds more sensation to his teasing as the sound causes a vibration against her nipple, and Y/N barely manages to pull Harry away from her before her knees buckle.

Harry, however, wastes no time, and it’s only the moment after Y/N pulls him off of her that he’s kissing her again, teeth clacking against teeth as he backs her up towards the bed.  When the back of her legs hits the mattress, Y/N stumbles back, but Harry catches her in time to lower her gently to the bed.

There’s an unmistakable tenderness in the movement, and the action catches Y/N right in the throat. “Thought you weren’t being careful?” Despite her ribbing tone, Y/N’s voice is breathless as she settles back into the soft sheets. “Isn’t that what you just said, pet?”

A growl rips from the back of Harry’s throat as he cages himself over her shaking body, his mouth already reattached to her chest to leave a fresh trail of bruises from her sternum to her abdomen. “You’re such a bloody minx, y’know that?”

Although she opens her mouth to reply, the only sound that leaves Y/N’s lips is a gasp as Harry quickly lifts her hips to pull her teddy completely off, tossing it to the side without so much as a glance.  He leaves one last bite on her lower abdomen, just hard enough to leave an imprint of his mouth, before soothing the mark with a wet swipe of his tongue over the red skin.

“Knees up, minx.” Harry’s accent is thick, dripping from his voice like honey as his hands rub her lower calves, helping to push them up on the bed until Y/N’s legs are bent and spread open in a position he likes.  The way that Harry’s tongue swipes over his lips tells Y/N of his intentions right away, and she braces herself on her elbows on the bed before pulling back.

Harry, who had been leaving open mouthed kisses along Y/N’s knees, makes a disgruntled sound at the loss of contact. “Where do y’think you’re going?” He asks in frustration, pulling himself onto the bed and crawling after her.  Gripping one of her ankles, he spreads her open again, resuming the path his mouth had been making to her core a moment ago. “Trying to get away from me?”

A breathless laugh falls from Y/N’s mouth. “More like trying to get comfortable.  It’s been so long since I’ve had someone…” Despite Harry’s position between her legs, Y/N can’t bring herself to say the words.

“Had someone what? Eat your cunt?” Harry asks crudely, raising an eyebrow as he kisses her inner thigh.  His hot breath rolls over her core, causing Y/N to sigh as she relaxes back into the sheets. “That’s a tragedy, love.  Especially when you taste so sweet.  I remember from a few nights ago…I just barely got a taste when we…”

She should know better, Y/N thinks.  She should know, now that she knows Harry well enough, that something like this is coming, especially since it’s exactly what he did last time he was between her legs. Still, when his ringed index finger runs quickly between her folds, becoming coated in her wetness just for Harry to pop it into his mouth like a satisfied and smug ass, Y/N half jumps off the bed.

“Sensitive, are you?” Harry laughs around his finger, taking great care to lick off every bit of her wetness. “Just as sensitive as you are sweet.”

Y/N struggles to prop herself up on her elbows, doing her best to give him a scathing look. “You could’ve warned me, you—”

Her complaint is cut off abruptly by Harry licking over her slit with the flat of his tongue, collecting every drop of arousal before suctioning his lips over her clit. “What was that?” He mutters between his actions, flicking his tongue over Y/N’s clit as she grasps the sheets between her fingers. “I didn’t quite catch it, love.”

Falling back onto the pillows, Y/N allows her eyes to close for just a moment as she twists the cotton sheets between her hands. “Shut—shut up.” She moans, one hand releasing the sheets to latch onto Harry’s curls.  She tugs harshly, and the moan he releases sends shivers from her core into her spine.

Although Harry laughs against her, his smirk detectable against her folds as his tongue continues to work over her, a silence falls between them as he continues to eat her out. It shouldn’t be surprising, she manages to think as she tugs on his curly locks, that Harry is giving her the best oral she’s ever received.  Everything he does to her, from irritating her, making her laugh, to pleasuring her, is so intense that it only makes sense.

Harry’s tongue dips inside Y/N’s entrance, proving that thought to be true for what seems to be the millionth time that night.  Y/N can’t help but writhe on the sheets now, her body unable to contain the pleasure that’s building inside her core like never before.

When a gasping whine echoes from Y/N, a sound she’s never even heard herself make before, one of Harry’s hands moves from its position on her thigh, where he’s been holding her open so he can continue to work.  It travels up her leg to her pelvis, pressing flat on her lower abdomen and keeping her hips secure to the bed.

“You’re going to cum for me, aren’t you, pet?” Harry’s mouth is red, coated with her wetness when he glances at her.  He begins to rub circles on her abdomen, both soothing her and creating an ache deep inside her that she knows can only be satisfied by his cock. “You’re going to be a good girl and cum on my mouth, yeah?”

Y/N whimpers in response, barely managing to keep her eyes open as she nods desperately. “I-I need—your fingers, or—”

“No, no, pet, you don’t need that.” Harry assures her between long licks over her clit. “I’ll fill you later, but you’re going to cum from my mouth.  I know you can do it, love.  I know you can.”

“I—” Harry’s hand pressed to her abdomen is the only thing keeping Y/N from rutting her hips into the air in desperation. “Please, Harry, I—”

“You can do it.” Breath hot against her entrance, Harry dips his tongue within her again, moving it in and out slowly as his nose brushes against her sensitive bundle of nerves. “You—fuck—you’re so ready, Y/N, I know you can do it…just relax, pet…let go…”

Let go.  The command is so simple, and yet, isn’t that all Y/N’s ever wanted?  Isn’t that exactly what Harry has managed to allow her to do this entire trip?  No sooner does the thought cross her mind that Harry’s teeth graze over her clit, tweaking it ever so gently before pressing the flat of his tongue against it once more.  He gives a harsh suck, mouthing something she can’t understand, and then Y/N is tugging on his chestnut curls with a renewed desperation as she falls over the brink of pleasure.

“Harry, Harry, Harry…” His name is the only thing Y/N can repeat as she orgasms, her head falling back against the pillows while the waves of her pleasure wash over her.

Harry untangles her hand from the sheets, weaving his fingers through her own to give her something solid to hold onto as she loses herself in the sensations.  Although he keeps his mouth pressed to her, his actions are gentler, just licking the wetness that drips from her entrance as she rides out her orgasm.

It takes a few moment for the pleasure to recede enough that Y/N can become aware of her surroundings again. Chest heaving, she lolls her head to the side, her hand falling from Harry’s curls and onto the crumpled sheets.

Harry finally pulls away from her then, pulling himself from between her legs to the side of Y/N’s shaking body.  He licks his wet lips, savouring the last drops of her arousal before pressing softer kisses to her stomach, her sternum, her collar bones, until he reaches her lips.

“You alright, love?” Harry asks, voice quiet in the hum of the night as he settles beside her.  He brushes a sweaty strand of hair from her forehead, and the motion is so gentle that Y/N almost tears up. “Just take some deep breaths.”

“I—” Y/N sucks in another breath as Harry wraps an arm around her stomach. “I’m alright.  Just…trying to catch my breath.” She laughs nervously as her cheeks redden in a post-orgasm haze. “You’re, uh, you’re really good at that.”

Harry’s laugh is much more amused than hers. “Thank you.  I quite enjoy it, so it would be rather sad if I wasn’t good at it.”

“That’s true.” Y/N hums, rolling her head onto Harry’s shoulder.  He rubs small circles on her waist, and the action gives her something to focus on as she evens her breathing.

Harry sighs in satisfaction. “You know, if you had shagged Brant, I doubt his cunnilingus skills would have been as good as mine.” He says thoughtfully, as if he’s been pondering the idea for a while.

Y/N groans, bracing her hand against is muscled chest to shove him away. “Do not mention Brant while I’m lying next to you naked!  Christ, I shouldn’t have to say that!”

Harry laughs as he readjusts himself, pulling his body over hers while his lips work against her neck. “I’m sorry.  I won’t bring him up again, I swear.”

Huffing slightly, Y/N settles herself back into the sheets. “Good.”

“But for the record—”

“If you keep speaking, I’m not giving you a blowjob.” Y/N warns, shooting Harry a warning glance. “Are you prepared to give that up?”

The speed at which Harry’s face falls is almost comical.  His brow creases as his ruby lips pull down into a pout, his arms keeping himself suspended above Y/N as he relents. “Alright, I’m sorry.  Truly, I am.  I’ll stop.”

Y/N tugs her bottom lip between her teeth as her eyes focus on Harry’s shining green irises. “Good, because I really want to blow you.”

The crude admission catches Harry by surprise, his eyebrows jumping up in shock as he rolls to the side. Propping himself up on his elbow, he rakes a hand through his messy curls as he answers with a measured tone. “You do?”

Y/N nods slowly, pushing herself up to sit on her knees as one of her hands begins to trace over the muscles of Harry’s chest. “I do.  Like you said…I didn’t get to last time.  And I bet you taste good.”

Harry sucks in a breath through his teeth as he gives a sharp nod. “Yeah.  Okay.  If you want to—”

“I do.” Y/N presses on Harry’s chest to push him back again, but this time she does it carefully, settling him back into the sheets like he did for her.  Moving so that she’s on her knees beside him, she gives him a quick kiss, only letting herself enjoy his slightly chapped lips against hers for a moment before she directs her attention to the bulge in his Calvin Klein boxers.

Y/N trails a finger over the line of hair leading to the waistband, feeling the muscles of Harry’s abdomen contract under her finger. “Sensitive, huh?” She asks quietly, mimicking what he had said to her before earlier.

Harry inhales deeply, his eyes fluttering shut at the sensation. “Yeah.  So don’t tease me.”

“I’m not.  I’m just…warming you up.” Y/N continues the motion for a moment before her fingers drift to the elastic of his boxers.  She dips a finger beneath it, continuing to tease his abdomen before leaning down and pressing a kiss to his clothed bulge.

Harry’s hips jerk in reaction, his mouth falling open as he spits out a curse. “Bloody hell…”

“Feel good?” Y/N only lifts her mouth enough so that the soft murmur can be heard.  She can feel Harry’s cock twitching as her lips move over it, and the thought that she’s turning him on enough for him to twitch in his boxers sends a flood of heat between her thighs.

“Feels really good, yeah.” Harry’s adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, and the effort it takes to keep his voice controlled is apparent on his face. “Keep going.”

Y/N hums in response, hooking her fingers into the waistband of his boxers and slowly pulling them down his legs as Harry lifts his hips.  She waits until his boxers are completely removed to turn her attention back to his cock, and the sight of it makes her mouth water.

It’s just as big as she remembers, with a slight curve along the length leading to the red and leaking head. Y/N can practically see the heat radiating off of it, she thinks, and when she wraps her hand around the base, her suspicions are confirmed.

The weak groan that falls from Harry’s cherry red lips is the only thing that keeps Y/N from getting completely distracted by admiring him.  She pumps him slowly a few times, and his length throbs in her hand as more blood floods to his pelvis.  Licking her lips once, Y/N leans down and gives a small kitten lick to the leaking tip, collecting the precum on her tongue.

A garbled moan sounds from Harry’s chest, and Y/N watches from the corner of her eye as one hand tucks into his own curls before the other gathers her hair within his fist. Although he’s holding her, he doesn’t force her down, or try to guide her motions.  He wants to see what she’s going to do of her own accord.

Y/N takes her time, licking slowly from the head of Harry’s cock to one of the pulsing veins that runs down his shaft.  She traces the line with the tip of her tongue, enjoying the sounds that the action pulls from Harry before taking the head of his cock between her lips. Mindful of her teeth, she sucks slowly, pushing herself further and further down his length until her nose is just touching his pelvis.

“That’s it, minx.” Harry moans his words, his voice breathless and strained as he cards his fingers through her hair.  His flushed chest is rising and falling prominently as Harry takes deep breath after deep breath. “Doing so well, aren’t you?”

The praise sends a wave of delight through Y/N, and she begins to bob her head faster, working what she can’t fit into her mouth with her hand.  Harry, she learns, is extremely vocal during sex, which isn’t exactly surprising now that she knows him better.  Still, his moans and whimpers are all the encouragement Y/N needs to keep her pace, slowing down only to tease him.  And she loves to tease him.

“Fuck—” A groan rips from Harry’s chest as Y/N slows her motions again, trailing her tongue up his length before focusing on his tip with great interest. “C’mon, darling, don’t be mean to me.  I wasn’t mean to you.”

“I’m just enjoying myself, Harry.” Y/N says innocently, batting her eyes at him as she kisses the head of his cock. “Don’t you want me to enjoy myself?”

The question is simple enough, but the sinful context makes Harry buck his hips into her hand. “Y’know I do, pet, but you’re torturing me…”

Y/N lifts her mouth from his length with a quiet pop as her strokes slow down. “Am I?”

“Fucking hell—” Another moan forces its way through Harry’s clenched teeth. “You won’t be laughing when I’m fucking you at the same pace you’re teasing me right now.”

Y/N’s movements stutter for the first time since she began. “What?”

“Didn’t think of that, did you, minx?  Thought you could tease me, and I wouldn’t get you back?” Although Harry’s words are domineering, he pants through them, throwing his head back against the pillow. “That—Christ—That’s not how it works.”

Speeding up her stroking of his length, Y/N leans over Harry’s body, sponging a kiss just at the corner of his lips. “You don’t mean that, Harry.  You need to fuck me just as badly as I need it.”

“You need it, do you?” Harry’s eyes snap open, lust completely clouding the jade green of his irises. “How badly?  Tell me.”

Y/N kisses him once more, pulling back the moment his tongue tries to pull her in for more.  She returns her mouth to the tip of his cock, letting her tongue flick over his slit before sucking on him again. “So badly, Harry. I’ve never felt as full as I did with you in me…”

“Oh fuck…” Harry’s words slip into drawn out moans as he tugs on his own hair, his hips stuttering up into her hand again. “Stop.”

The sudden command makes Y/N pause, and she pulls her mouth off of Harry’s length to stare up at him with wide eyes. “What?” Her hand pauses its motions, but stays wrapped loosely around his base. “Is—is everything okay?  Did I hurt you?”

The concern and fear in Y/N’s voice is enough to snap Harry out whatever headspace he had been slipping into. “No, pet, you didn’t hurt me.  I just need to be inside your tight cunt.  Can’t stand another moment without it, if I’m honest.”

The twitch of his cock in her hands confirms his words, and Y/N gives one last lick to its biggest vein before releasing him.  She keeps her mouth in use, however, by sponging kisses up Harry’s already marked chest, stopping only once she reaches his lips.

The kiss they share is passionate, with a rhythm finally established between the two of them as Harry slots his plump lips neatly between hers.  There’s no awkward turning of their heads, trying to find a way to slip a tongue into a mouth, and no teeth clicking together.  Already, each of them knows the best way to fit together, as if they were meant to all along.

“How do you—” Harry mutters the words against Y/N’s lips, his breath flowing into her own panting mouth with every gasp. “How do you want me, love?”

Y/N takes a moment to think, but only a moment. “On top.  I like…” Her cheeks flush with even more heat. “I like feeling you over me. And holding your hands…”

Harry raises a surprised brow at the confession she spills into his mouth. “My hands?”

Forehead still pressed against his, Y/N nods, picking up one of his hands and lacing his ringed fingers through her own. “Mhmm.  They’re strong, and…and they fit in mine so nicely.” Y/N glances at Harry through her lashes, shy despite having his cock in her mouth less than a minute ago.  It’s the intimacy, she realizes.  A sexual act is nothing new to her, but putting emotion behind it…

“They do fit together well, don’t they?” Harry agrees, squeezing her hand as he leans forward, pressing puckered lips to her forehead. “Alright, then.  Lie down for me.”

After Harry grabs a condom from Y/N’s bag and rolls it on, it takes a moment for the two of them to get positioned comfortably.  Y/N leans back on the rumpled sheets, fixing one of the pillows behind her head with Harry’s help.  Once he knows that she’s comfortable, Harry spreads Y/N’s legs again, situating himself between them with his arms propped up on either side of her body.

Although it’s the same position as the last time they had sex, Y/N can’t help but feel like it’s entirely different in every single aspect.  While the drunken need that she felt for Harry had been exciting, and while he had satisfied her incredibly, there’s something different about knowing that she has feelings for the man who’s so interested in pleasuring her, and that he has feelings for her in return.

Harry moves one hand to his length, rubbing the tip of it between Y/N’s soaked folds as his other hand grasps her own. “Are you ready?” He murmurs, his lips hovering just over her own.

Y/N nods quickly, squeezing his hand tightly. “Please, H.  I need it.”

The first thrust into her is slow.  Painstakingly slow.  Y/N knows that she should be appreciative of the restrain Harry has, and that she needs a moment to adjust to his size, but the way he stretches her makes her feel so complete that she can’t help but whine for more.

“Faster, Harry.” She pants, squeezing her eyes shut as he continues to enter her slick entrance. “I…”

“Sh, love.  Just spreading you open first, yeah?” The effort to control himself shows through the strain in his voice, but Harry still manages to sponge a quick kiss over her lips. “Besides…I warned you, didn’t I?  Said I’d tease you if you teased me…”

Y/N whines loudly as Harry finally bottoms out, his hips pressing flush to hers and bringing a kind of euphoric fullness that she’s never felt before. “Oh God…” She drags out her speech, her eyes barely managing to flutter open in time to catch the look on Harry’s face as he feels her walls squeeze him.

His brows are drawn together, an all too familiar crease appearing between them.  It’s a look of concentration, but the pull of his mouth and the quiet pants leaving it tell Y/N that it’s so much more than that. His pupils are blown out, dilated so much that she can barely see the green that she loves so much, and every few moments, Harry’s eyelids flutter, times perfectly with the contraction of Y/N’s pussy around his length.  

“Move, Harry.” Y/N begs, grasping his free hand and squeezing it along with his other hand. “Please.”

Her pleading sends a shiver down Harry’s spine, and he begins to thrust in and out of her slowly, letting her adjust to each pace before gradually increasing his movements. “Like that, pet?” He asks, voice low and thick with pleasure. “Is that what you wanted?”

A whine is all the answer he gets, as Y/N is so far gone past the point of being able to reply with a coherent sentence.  The only thing she can think of is how good it feels to have Harry fill her.  How the feeling of his cock inside her is simultaneously too much for her, the most content she’s ever felt, and not enough to satisfy the ache deep within her.  Every one of her senses is consumed with Harry—the touch of his skin to hers, at her pelvis, over her abdomen, his hands squeezing hers with desperation as he thrusts inside of her repeatedly.  The scent of his cologne mingled with his sweat, so hot and all consuming that the air feels thick with it.  The taste of that scent on the back of her tongue, along with his Merlot flavoured kisses that linger in her mouth.  The sight of him caged over her, his sweaty curls and flushed skin being all that she can see.  The sound of his moans, hot and low in her ear.

Everything is Harry. Had there every been a time where it wasn’t?

When Harry pulls his hands from Y/N’s, a small whimper stumbles out of her mouth, growing louder when his thrusts begin to slow and the ball of tension in her core begins to uncoil. “What—?” She begins, the question still half formed on her tongue when Harry moves his grip to her knees.

In one swift motion, Harry has her left knee over his shoulder, quickly repeating the movement with her right leg as he sponges stuttered kisses over the newly available skin.  “Need to be deeper.” He mutters, pressing a wet and breathless kiss to Y/N’s lips before sitting up for more leverage.  Weaving his fingers back through hers, Harry begins to thrust again, the head of his cock rubbing against new areas with every motion.

And oh.  It’s like an entirely new feeling.  The moans and whimpers are leaving Y/N’s mouth in a steady stream now, with any ability she had to filter her volume gone the moment Harry’s cock presses against her G-spot.

“Fuck, Harry, right there, baby—” Y/N releases one of his hands to throw her arm around his shoulder, digging her nails into the muscled skin as the words of pleasure slip past her lips. “That’s it, that’s so fucking good—”

“Yeah?” Harry grunts, bracing himself against the bed so that he can increase the speed of his movements. “You like how my cock fills you?”

Y/N nods desperately, the movement stuttered as she shakes from both her pleasure and the force of Harry driving his hips into her own. “Yeah, I—fuck, you’re going to make me cum…”

Harry’s face twists in concentration as he removes his braced hand from the bed and trails it down Y/N’s body, pausing just enough so that he can tweak her nipple as he passes by. He continues on until he reaches his destination, and settles his large thumb over her clit to rub fast and concise circles on the bundle of nerves.

“Oh—” Y/N’s back arches off the bed as her nails dig into the skin of Harry’s shoulder, as well as the back of his hand.  She barely manages to pant through her whimpered words. “Fuck, I’m going to cum—”

“Please, baby.” Harry pleads with her, his expression desperate as he stipples more kisses to Y/N’s knees, the only inches of skin that he can get his mouth on as he drives himself harder into her. “Need you to cum for me, I—fuck, minx, I need it more than you know.”

A sharp gasp falls from Y/N’s slick mouth as Harry hits her G-spot again, and the sharp repeated motion combined with his stimulation of her clit is enough to send her barrelling headfirst over the edge.  A desperate sound leaves her mouth, half moan, half whine, as the coil in Y/N’s core snaps, sending shockwaves of pleasure through every inch of her body.  

The reaction is almost instantaneous.  As her body shakes with pleasure, abdomen contracting and releasing over and over, Y/N feels Harry’s hips begin to stutter, his movement growing sloppier as the constriction of her core works Harry to an orgasm.

“Y/N—that’s it, pet, just—yes—” Harry’s words are more coherent than hers, but still just form a string of half put together phrases as he presses himself deep inside her, his eyes snapping shut as he spills inside the condom.  A choked sound works its way out of his throat, pulling from deep within his chest, and the pads of his rough fingers dig into her thighs as he grounds himself throughout his orgasm.  

Y/N’s shuddering climax finishes before Harry’s does, and all she can do is collapse back in the sheets, enjoying the feeling of his cock throbbing inside her one last time before he pulls out slowly to clean himself and throw away the condom.  An involuntary whine, quiet but audible, falls from her lips at the empty feeling that’s left behind, but it’s soon satiated after Harry returns to the bed, wrapping his shaking arms around her and pulling her tight into his chest.

His chest, like her own, is soaked in sweat, covered in dark bruises, and heaving from the aftermath of the orgasm he’s just finished, but it’s the only place Y/N wants to be.  She presses her ear into his skin, his racing heartbeat thumping beneath her head, and she focuses on the pounding pattern as she attempts to catch her breath.

Harry speaks first, clearing his throat before his wrecked voice fills her senses. “That was…that was so fucking good.  I was worried that it wouldn’t be as good as the last time, because we were more sober, but…”

“It was better, yeah. I know.” Y/N agrees, her voice filled with exhaustion and contentment as she kisses over a purple bruise forming on Harry’s collar bone. “I think…I think knowing how we feel made it better.”

“I agree.” Harry’s hands move over her back, his fingertips tracing invisible patterns onto her sweaty skin. “Passionate sex with someone you care for with candles lit…all after the wedding of your best friend…was that romantic enough for you?” There’s a teasing edge to his voice, just barely audible beneath the rasp.

A tired smile lifts the corners of Y/N’s swollen lips. “I suppose so.  But it’s not hard to be, in comparison to others…”

“Well, from now on, you’re going to be comparing to me, yeah?” Harry shifts his arms around her, tightening his grip before reaching for the crumpled sheet to pull it over their bodies. “This’ll be the marker, I suppose.  And I’ll have to work on raising the bar with everything I do for you.”

“What about what I’ll do for you?” Y/N just barely manages to raise her head off Harry’s chest enough to look at him. “This is a two way street, you know.  I have to romance you, too.”

“Mm.  True.” Harry hums as he resumes tracing patterns on Y/N’s skin. “How about you stop making fun of my taste in romantic movies?  I’d like to watch The Notebook without you poking fun at it.  If you’re laughing at all the emotional scenes, it makes me feel pathetic when I cry at them.”

Y/N laughs quietly as she rakes her fingers through Harry’s sweaty curls. “That’s asking too much from me. How about…I can still make fun of your taste in romantic movies, but I’ll hold you and comfort you when you cry at the really dumb scenes?”

An exhausted snort rolls through Harry’s chest, but there’s a degree of tenderness hidden in the sound. “I suppose that’s the best offer I’ll get, isn’t it?”

“You suppose right.” Y/N sighs contently, her eyes drifting shut as she settles herself into Harry’s chest.  The feeling of the subtle rise and fall of his muscles is enough to soothe her to sleep, and she’s just settling in for what she thinks may be the best sleep of her life when her head suddenly drops as Harry abruptly pulls away from her.

“Harry—” Y/N’s eyes snap open as she pulls herself into an upright position, any feeling of calm that she had a moment ago gone out the window. “What the fuck?”

A sheepish Harry smiles at her from the dresser. “We left the candles lit, love.” He says, blowing out the three lit candles on the wooden surface before walking to one of the bedside tables, where four more candles are lit. “It’s not safe.”

“No, you know what’s no safe?  Jerking your girlfriend from her sleep when she’s exhausted, and has to be up early tomorrow.” Y/N rolls her eyes as she flops back into the pillows.

Harry blows out the last candle before sliding back into the bed. “Would you rather I let the cabin burn down?  That wouldn’t be very romantic of me, now would it?”

Turning over on her side, Y/N faces the wall away from Harry. “You’re an asshole.”

“Don’t be mean.” Harry’s pout is tangible in the press of his lips to her bare shoulder. “We were having a moment!”

“Not anymore.”

“You don’t mean that.” Harry laughs as he wraps his arms around Y/N, pulling her to spoon into his chest. “Just go to sleep.  You’ll be less grumpy in the morning.”

“Fuck off.” Y/N mutters, but she allows herself to be held against Harry as his breathing once again soothes her to sleep.

…

“Are you sure I can’t drive?”

Harry laughs as he shuts the loaded trunk of the Impala, the sound echoing off the trees around them and scaring a few birds that had settled in the branches. “After that disaster in Nebraska?  No way.”

“Did you let her drive Stevie?” Laure asks, shock woven through her voice as her eyes flicker between Y/N and Harry. “Really?”

“No, I let her try to drive Stevie.  And then she stalled her, and lost all driving privileges forever.” Harry replies with a snort, shrugging his jacket onto his shoulders as his keys jangle in his hands. “So I’ll be driving the forty-two hours back to L.A.”

Y/N crosses her arms with an irritated sigh. “Whatever.  Don’t complain to me when you get stiff from being in one position for eight hours a day.”

As Harry rounds the back of the car, he shoots Y/N a smug grin, walking up behind her to wrap his warm arms around her waist. “But you’ll give me massages, won’t you, baby?  I’d really appreciate them…”

“Okay, this is still weird for me.” Jo says slowly, shaking her head as her eyes flicker between their intertwined pose and Laure, who looks equally as bemused. “A week ago, we had to practically beg Harry to drive you, Y/N, and now you’re…?”

“It was bound to happen, wasn’t it?” Harry asks, resting his chin on Y/N’s shoulder with a smirk. “No woman could last five days with me while resisting the Styles charm…”

Y/N shrugs his chin off her shoulder with a snort. “Right.” She scoffs as she unravels his hands from her waist. “The Styles charm.  We’ll pretend that’s a thing.”

Harry pouts as Y/N pulls away from him, his arms still outreached and trailing after her. “It is a thing!”

With a roll of her eyes, Y/N walks over to Jo, wrapping her arms around the girl tightly as the crisp morning air sends a shiver down her spine. “Congratulations, Jo.  Have fun on your honeymoon.”

Although Jo hugs her back with a smile, there’s something lingering under the sweet expression. “Thank you.” She speaks in her normal tone, but waits until her lips are right by Y/N’s ear to lower her voice. “The moment you arrive back in L.A., I expect a three hour phone call explaining how all of this happened.  Is that understood?”

“You’re so demanding. I would have thought you’d be more mature now that you’re married.” Y/N laughs as she pulls out of the hug, turning to Laure and giving her a tight squeeze before walking to the car.  She leans against the cool metal of the passenger side as Harry rounds around to the driver’s side, having said his goodbyes right after she did.

“I’m serious!  The last time we talked about Harry, you threatened to cut off his—”

Laure takes Jo’s hand, squeezing it hard as she bites her lip to keep from laughing. “Okay, darling, that’s enough.  Just be thankful they’re not arguing anymore, yeah?  Maybe we’ll finally be able to have a wine night that doesn’t end with someone flipping a charcuterie board.”

The memory of Laure and Jo’s four year anniversary party brings a sheepish smile to Y/N’s face, and she watches as the realization hits Jo, who gives a satisfied nod to Laure before the latter presses her lips to her cheek.

Harry, however, is less amused, and shoots a questioning glance at Y/N over the hood of the car. “Wait, when did you threaten to cut something of mine off?”

“Oh, it was just a joke, Harry.” Y/N waves off his concern as she opens the passenger door with a click. “It’s nothing you have to worry about, as long as you don’t piss me off too much.”

“Right.” Harry says slowly, climbing inside the car as Y/N does the same.  “I’ll do my best.”

Harry starts the car with an easy and practiced motion, shifting it into reverse and pulling away from the mountainside resort as the two of them give one last wave to Jo and Laure through the passenger window.  Once they’re back on the winding mountain road, Y/N grabs Harry’s phone from its usual spot in his cup holder, scrolling through his music library with interest.

“What do you feel like listening to?” She asks curiously, her eyes scanning over the now familiar titles indecisively. “Something fast?  Something mellow?”

Harry shifts the car into second gear before grabbing Y/N’s free hand, brushing his pink lips over the back of her knuckles in a gentle motion. “I don’t really care.” He says with a shrug, winding his fingers through her own before lowering their hands between their seats. “Anything you want.”

The comment of free reign causes Y/N’s eyes to widen in disbelief. “Really?” She asks incredulously, and when Harry gives a confirming nod, she quickly settles on “Breakfast at Tiffany’s,” leaning back in her seat as the familiar guitar riff fills the car.

From the corner of her eye, she watches Harry’s nose wrinkle as his eyebrows crease beneath his sunglasses. “Actually, I changed my mind.” He says lowly, swiping his thumb over her knuckles in a motion of apology. “Not this song.”

Y/N lets out a groan as she presses her head back into the head rest. “For fuck’s sake, H—”

“I’m not feeling it! It just doesn’t suit this time of day, or this scenery—”

“We have forty-two hours left in this trip, and you’re already pissing me off.  Do you want something to get cut off?” Yanking her hand from his own, she grabs his phone again and opens it with a harsh sigh. “Okay, what do you want to listen to?”

“I told you.” Harry taps his fingers against the steering wheel as he risks a glance at her, gauging if the irritation in her voice matches the irritation on her face. “Whatever you want to listen to.”

Y/N allows herself a quiet snort, but makes no other comment on the contradictory statement. “Fine.” She says shortly, scrolling through his songs for another moment before clicking on “Strangers”. “How’s that?”

Harry raises his now empty hand defensively before finding her own again, squeezing it gently. “Good, love.  It’s good.”

“Good.” Y/N gives a short sigh of relief, settling back into her seat again as a new guitar riff begins to sound through the car speakers.

The first verse of the song has barely finished when Harry clears his throat thickly, the corner of his lip just barely twitching up. “You know, actually—”

“Stop the car.”