#its the worst thing we can do

[loveisonlyforthebrave8]

The new year in England is rapidly approaching and it always seems to make everyone so reflective.

So I figured, as this year has been one of the best, but also without a doubt, the *worst* years of my life, I'll make a reflective post of my own. This is more for me than for any of you, but if you find comfort or resonate with anything that I do say, hi- you're not alone.

Sometimes it's easy to forget that not everything is as you see on social media. People's lives are so vastly different to what we see through the lense of instagram or twitter, and sometimes even through his loveable hell site. It may look like someone is the happiest they have ever been, when in reality someone could be suffering and putting on a happy face to avoid the awkward questions.

My life this year started off strong- I had a dream job in film. I was financially stable. I had savings for the first time in my life. I was able to splash out and buy things I wanted without worrying what to eat that month.

One of the highlights was seeing my name on the big screen for Barbie. It was my first ever credit since joining the film industry. It had people I haven't spoken to in years reaching out to tell me how proud they were of me. It was a bit of a whirlwind to be honest. I felt untouchable, I felt seen for the first time. I felt great.

Until I didn't. Until it all came crashing down. The film industry went on strike. No, sorry, the writers and actors went on strike and the crews were forced out of work because of it. Now, don't get me wrong, I am 100% with the writers and the actors and I support the strikes wholeheartedly, but the knock on effect to the crews was one one the darkest times of my life. I suddenly found myself out of work, unable to find a new job, and that wasn't to say I didn't try. I cold-emailed every company, every production I knew who were still working, and even the ones I didn't. But alas, it was all in vain. There was no work.

My mental health was deteriorating rapidly and I didn't know what to do to bring myself back out of the dark. So I looked at my dwindling bank account and made a last minute decision. I'd never had this amount of time off from work before, and the only thing that gave me a shred of happiness was my silly little bl shows.

So I did what I thought would make me happy. I booked a last minute flight, and 3 weeks later I was in Thailand having the best 12 days of my fucking life. I met my long time, long distance bestie in person for the first time. I went to some of the most beautiful temples I had ever seen. I met the love of my life, Bible Wichapas, not once, but twice as I supported him at a local event. I made new friends who I still keep in contact with. I saw so many bl boys in the flesh it still boggles the mind. I travelled to the north of Thailand on an overnight sleeper train. I took a speedboat to literal Heaven on Earth and swam in the most crystal clear ocean. I got 4 tattoos all commemorating my time in Thailand and my love of Jeff Satur, Prapaisky, and Vegas Theerapanyakul (by definition Bible), by a local artist who charged me next to nothing (and then I got one more tattoo for my SKZ bias Bang Chan). I cried meeting an elephant. I visited some of the most iconic Kinnporsche the series sets. I rode on the back of a scooter for a forty minute journey that cost me £1.50. I ate the spiciest dish of my little white girl life. I got to see Man Suang on the big screen. I met Mileapo at the airport and Mile smiled and waved directly at me. I got stuck on a boat during the heaviest rainfall of my life. And overall it was the best experience I have ever had. I fell in love with the city, the culture, and everything in between.

But the moment I landed back home in England, the things I had desperately tried to bury by living my best life for 12 days hit me like a sack of shit. I had no income, no money, and a mountain of bills to pay. All those savings I had were gone in just 6 months. I started to panic. I had (several) breakdowns. I couldn't pay my friend back the money I still owed her. I could barely pay my rent. I couldn't tell my parents because I didn't want to tell them I'd failed. But I was stuck. I applied for any and every job under the sun, but even they didn't want me. I felt fucking useless... and once again my mental health was dragging me down to hell. I couldn't see a way out. When I did eventually get up the courage to tell my parents, one of them told me I was a fool to spend what little money I had left travelling to Thailand, as if I didn't already know it was a dumb idea. But what they didn't know was that the trip had ultimately saved my life.

After that reality check, I did what I have never in my life needed to do. I asked for financial help. And both my parents came through. I know how lucky I am that they did. Not everyone can turn to parents to help them out. I'm forever grateful. They gave me £500 each. So I now had rent money for two more months. I also went on benefits (which I'd refused to even consider for so long because to me if felt like defeat- it's not). But then I took the first job that would take me. I now have an income. It's minimum wage, but it pays the bills. I finally feel like I'm slowly making my way back to the surface. I've still got a long fucking road ahead of me, I'm still overwhelmed as fuck, working tow jobs and studying to teach English as a foriegn language, but things are slowly taking shape again.

I'm hoping the new year will help me get back on my feet. I've accepted a few days on a very well known soap which I'm excited and nervous about, but hopefully with it, the momentum in the industry I love that I lost last year will start to come back to me.

Overall, this year has been fucking crazy in the best and worst ways and I'll be glad to see the back of it. I'm not one for making resolutions as I tend to live life day by day, but my hope for this year is to get back to somewhere near where I was before.

And most importantly, I want to go back to Thailand in the not-too-distant future. Whether that's to visit or live, who knows?

2024- Let's fucking goooooo!

[bacchuschucklefuck]

dreaming abt sophomore year class swap bard!riz

[yeonjune]

Yeonjun about the strain he felt while preparing for his debut solo project ✙ "GGUM" MAKING FILM

[xxplastic-cubexx]

was talking to my brother the other day after i rewatched dark phoenix and he was like 'why is everyone so mean to charles in this movie?? were they always this mean to him ?? is it cause he's bald now- he lost his pretty privilege??' and i fear i havent recovered

[wield-the-mighty-pen]

A kind reminder to everyone who had a problem with this scene:

That this is a symptom of PTSD:

Hope this helps!

[boarcide]

I truly think that one of the biggest tragedies in BEAST in regards to the Akutagawa siblings is that, at the core of it, Ryuunosuke viewed himself as a beast, and showed his love in a way a beast would, while Gin was the only person who ever saw him as human and judged him accordingly. She did not see a beast acting like a beast, the way everybody else did, she saw a human acting like a beast and it’s part of what drove her away.

The ADA saw their rookie detective at his worst, and watched—and continues to watch—him grow from a beast to a human over time. Consumed by hatred and only knowing how to be cruel, and slowly learning how to become human.

Gin saw her brother at his best—the best he could be in their situation—and then watched him grow from a boy to a beast within moments. The scraps of humanity that he had, all disappearing into rage so primal it no longer made him seem human.

[3-aem]

ive had enough of dating bring me back to my yaoi-dom

[woozivrsefactry]

When the theme is "hating on other groups and idols to uplift your faves" and congrats every other k-pop fan is winning that nowadays because why the fuck did I just find an instagram page which is basically an svt (and occasional straykids and exo) hate account just because some army kid needs to do that to show that bts is better.

Because why are we comparing yoongi's and woozi's music it's literally two very different styles? Why are we laughing at some random dance mistake hoshi made just to show bts dance line is better? Why are we literally bodyshaming scoups wheelchair bod right after his surgery stage? Why are we calling shaming Jeonghan's feminine features and hairstyle? Why are we hating chinese line for literally just their ethnicity? Why are we calling mingyu a pick me for, oh my god, just being FRIENDS with Jungkook!?

Bringing down other idols ain't doing shit. And this is so annoying because there are so many accounts like this targetting other groups under the pretense of uplifting their faves.

Sincerely, fuck you.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

every morning 4am this is what i see when i wake

[lanternlightss]

okay .. take two !!!

+ bonus doodles

[reel-fear]

Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:

The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.

2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]

3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.

4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]

5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]

Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]

At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]

6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.

7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.

He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]

8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!

So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.

Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?

So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.

I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.

The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.

anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.

As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.

Also the books, the books slap.

[evilherehotel]

guys. guys the similarities. guys listen to me

[faaun]

Trying 2 be so normal rn

[lorillee]

im really normal about them <- lie

[tommygotwrittenoff]

confession time!!! can't wait for bt bones

[evocatiio]

if chibnall was the one writing this season you lot would be talking VERY differently