#its so tragic to see women w guys like this

[yellowocaballero]

i very much enjoy the extremely scientific analysis of the naruto verse in which there are three genders, aka naruto, sasuke, and Woman.

AM I WRONG? AM I WRONG? pulls down projection screen and plays powerpoint

Obviously let's give room for nuance. A ton of Naruto characters don't fall into these gender norms. This does predominantly apply to the rampant proliferation of the three-person dynamics that were assigned by the government and dictate your entire life. And, like, society. It does not end. Gender isn't a biological factor in Naruto, it's a social dynamic constructed entirely by your homoerotic tension with other men. And there are so many.

Madara (S), Hashirama (N), Mito (W). Izuna (N) and Tobirama (S) - tragically, Izuna died before women could be invented. Sarutobi (N), Danzo (S, horrifically) - see above about women not being invented yet. Jiraiya (N), Orochimaru (S), Tsunade (W). Yahiko (N), Nagato (S), Konan (W). Obito (N), Kakashi (S), Rin (W). Shisui (N), Itachi (S), that little deeply unimportant girlfriend (W). Um, fucking, Naruto (N), Sasuke (S), Sakura (W). Even - even, fuckin, Rock Lee (N), Neiji (S), Tenten (W).

And what do they all have in common????

(OT3. They're all OT3s. Is what I'm saying).

There is some room for alternative gender expressions here, like being butch or femme. Naruto gender expressions: teacher, otouto, woman who you can't even tell is woman gendered because she has no backstory but you just have to kinda assume that she has a polycule-based backstory where she was Woman Gender. I feel almost as if 2/3rds of the Rookie 9 are liberated from this. InoShikaCho just doesn't fit (their chaotic cousin energy is just too strong and Ino's too much of a lesbian). Hinata's too busy being defined entirely by a different throuple's N to have codependent dynamics with her own N and S (and I'm hesitant to even say that, since I actually don't know if Kiba and Shino have a codependent rivalry - do they?).

I get, like, the reason for all of this. Curse of Hatred. Cycles. N and S Genders being sourced from demigods or something. Narrative parallelism. Sympathy points. It's not the bad guy's fault he's evil, his N and W gendered counterparts died :(. But an extremely strange side-effect of this is that all of the male characters are, like, Just Naruto or Just Sasuke. But the vast majority of the female characters are - like, completely defined by the men in their lives - but also they are more likely to be a unique person. Mito, Sakura, and Rin have actually nothing in common. Writing so sexist it creates more interesting characters?!?!

Unironically, this is why I'm always saying that Sasunaru is the ship of all time, nothing will ever top it, you will NEVER do it like Sasunaru, etc. Every important relationship in the series is meant to evoke Sasunaru. (Notably, none of the explicitly romantic ones. But we're beyond such paltry understandings of the most iconic pairing of all time as fundamentally based in romance. We're operating on a higher level than that). This unbroken chain of toxic yaoi has culminated at the end point of Sasunaru, and it exists to parallel Sasunaru and define their relationship by the dysfunction of generations of tragedy. That's why Naruto has to consciously break the cycle and free them from the generational hate - it was the only way to save Sasuke. This is also why I'm always saying that Sasunaru is the point of Naruto, and that the entirety of Naruto is about Sasunaru. Come back to me when your work has invented new genders in the all-encompassing pursuit of toxic yaoi.

This also means that the only truly gender non-conforming individuals in Naruto are its mightiest heterosexuals: Minato (W) and Kushina (N). Truly insane. The N/S/W configuration is the societal norm, it's bonkers to make a major good-aligned male character a wifeguy. By Naruto standards Minato and Kushina are the only queer couple.

[hauntingblue]

WATER SEVEN BABYYYYY

Look at robin reacting when luffy says he wont give her up.... 🥺🥺

This is a joke right now but its actually a one piece tenet aldjsisjka

Usopp aksbaksjakqk the foreshadow is foreshadowing... Also Robin being happy with the crew after the Aokiji incident... Fuck!!!!

Sanji thinking robin just vanished or flew away and suddenly usopp is soaring thru the skies... imagine

AAAAARGGGGHHHH YOU CAN SEE THE GEARS TURNING

Zoro talking to merry..... only while he is alone of course

Why are nami and sanji matching ajdhakjsk look at the citrus sisters

Carpenter: maybe it was the government

Gov agent: I don't think so, also don't say that they are everywhere

LUFFY SUPPORTS WOMEN'S WRONGS!!!

Don't scream att chopper like that!!! Look at him... So small....

Imu tease???? (No) (Also I've changed websites again bc the translation is kinda off , I can't find a good quality b&w spanish translation and the colors scare me (i want the real manga experience))

GET HIM ICEBURG!!!!

I truly forgor if this is just a lie about her wanting to find the rio poneglyphs or genuine because she wants to die and will do it for them... because in skypiea she says she is not interested in the weapons so maybe if the gov pardons her but considering what she wants is illegal then idk abdjabjs this is such a dumb thing to forget... like thats important girl where did it go (reading this after remembering and it's kinda funny... i will make any sacrifice to kill myself (and keep you safe)... she goes HARD)

Little paulie and mozu and kiwi.... omg hello (the SBS says the twins wanted to be shipwrights too omg)

Franky's backstory is small but it does so much for me like it is so central to the themes... boats and people...

DID SOMEBODY ORDER MORE TRAGIC BROTHERS?

The fact that franky needs to learn this lesson to pass it on to robin.... do you understand how big this is.... also Tom does exactly as he says and takes responsibility for franky and what he has done... because he has done nothing wrong AND THAT'S HIS SON and he just punched spandam bc he wanta him to feel the pain franky feels... Tom is such a man..... proud of having built eater 7 up with the sea train.... goes out with a boom.... should we all kill ourselves....

I am crying again................... franky my god.... and the fucking frog!!! And of course franky can't stop Tom's hope for his island... of course he can't.... he hasnt learnt the lesson yet but this guy isn't over yet!! He has a life of being a pervert cyborg ahead!!! Iceburg following Tom's footsteps but franky not being able to do that bc of his guilt....

This is one of the coolest things chopper has done btw...

NAMII 😭😭😭

Robin damning the world for her crew when all she has ever done is damn her companions for her own sake.... how big is this...

I can't take this...... it's always nami in these positions... it happens AGAIN in Zou with Sanji... there is no way

The love letter gag is too good like damn that's so funny

AND IT'S NAMI GOING THROUGH IT AGAIN!!!! SHE LOVES ROBIN SO MUCH!!!!

[forgottenvalentina]

OOC | Vasilievan-Nation Wedding Traditions

So first off let me say I am acting purely as a researcher for this bc lbr this is probs the only Vasilieva wedding we’ll see in-game, given that even if Valentina or Sonya were to marry in-game it’d probs be w the traditions of their husbands etc and, while Valentina did have a Vasilieva marriage in the past, I don’t have any particular thoughts or feelings abt it, so you guys go wild w what you’d like/wouldn't like w any of this, its just meant to be helpful ;DDDD

Grooms pay a ransom to the brides family to take her

Usually there’s a wedding week or so not just a wedding day

Actual ceremony takes place on first day w feasts etc ongoing all week

for the ransom, the guests and participants divide, not by family, but by gender, save for the bride's father who stays w her

the bride arrives fully veiled between her parents, and the groom appears w a fully veiled female family member (of the bride, I'd assume, but it almost sounded like it was one of ~his family members? it had clearly been translated into english tho and idk if i understood correctly) beside him, w the men symbolically exchanging veiled women after the ransom is paid. the families often haggle before the exchange w random money and gifts often being exchanged between both parties before an engagement is reached

the bride and groom exchange gifts, w the bride often giving the groom a needle or a whip, and the groom offering the bride a scepter and a ring in return. if she accepts he then swears publically to marry her in exchange for her fidelity

the groom's mom carries an axe (valentina: !!!!!!) through the gateway, indicating the beginning of the wedding

[ After the wedding service, a matchmaker, known as Zerca, welcomes the young couple with sodium and bread and kolacz pastry. Dancing and honey alcohol are common through the celebration, together with the ceremony durable until start. ]

a shaman was generally present to cast knucklebones and thus predict the future (but roderick is NOT down w this so idk if that part would be secretly done or not)

getting married in may is considered bad luck w summer being the most popular wedding time (mostly due to the weather there tho)

obv this doesn't apply to cassimir/eithne but i thought it was interesting esp bc valentina might use it to cry foul if they're going w this side of tradition (valentina: the smotret' did NOT go well this part of both the bride's and the groom's family does NOT approve!!!!) : [ In the distant past, a wedding was the culmination of a long process that started with matchmaking – svatovstvo, which often coincided with . It wasn’t always the groom who came to the bride’s house to propose in the first place, as this could also be done by his representatives, svaty. They paid a visit to the bride-to-be’s family late at night and made the offer allegorically: for example, by saying something like “you have the goods, we have a buyer.” The next stage was called smotriny (from smotret’ – to see or to check out), when the groom, the bride, and their families could get to know each other better and pay each other visits. Only if everything went well was the engagement finalized and both sides started to discuss the wedding details. It was called rukobitie (from ruka – hand, and bit’ – to hit or to slap) because the fathers of the groom and the bride shook hands to conclude the agreement. ]

"Nowadays, the wedding is seen as a happy occasion, but in the past, one could easily confuse it with… a funeral. Not because the event was considered tragic per se, but because it meant that the bride symbolically died as a young girl and entered a new stage of her life as a married woman. Such an approach was especially widespread in the Russian North; in this case, the wedding, as well as the devichnik (bachelorette party), was accompanied by sad songs and weeping." (rosie: we are LITERALLY mourning rn, eithne!!!!!!!)

karavai a rough round bread is shared "the groom and the bride take a bite of it and whoever ends up with the biggest chunk is supposed to be the head of the family. In the past, however, the ritual was much more complex: it started with baking the bread in a special manner – with rituals like placing the bread into the oven three times before leaving it there, then hiding the karavai from everyone until the right moment, and finally sharing it in a specific order while singing." (open ur mouth WIDE, eithne!!!!)

"the guests at the wedding saying “Gorko!” (“Bitter!”) until the bride and the groom kiss. The premise behind this ritual is that the guests pretend their drinks taste bitter, so the newlyweds should “sweeten them up” by kissing"

got some clarification on the ransom! [ "Once the groom arrives at the bride's home, he must pay a ransom for the bride...it starts with the groom bringing...money or jewelry for the bride. At this point, the bride's parents present a woman or man who is not the bride, but is veiledso the groom cannot see the face. When the groom realizes it is not his bride, he asks for her, but the bride's family will demand a more significant ransom to be paid. Upon satisfaction with the ransom given, the bride's family gives away the actual bride to the groom." ] and [ A fun (but somewhat outdated) tradition is the bride's family members and bridesmaids "kidnapping" her and holding her for "ransom." The groom must complete a series of tasks meant to show his love (and embarrass him slightly). At the end, he must pay the ransom ] (this is rosie's favorite part ;D)

there is an exchange of rings at the betrothal but not at the wedding, instead the bride and groom are crowned "The priest leads the couple into the center of the church, where they stand on a piece of new, rose-colored fabric, symbolizing their entry into a new life. The bride and groom each publicly profess that they are marrying of their own free will and that they have not promised themselves to another." family members hold the crowns over their head while prayers are said/blessings are given, and finally the couple shares a cup of wine

everyone then processes (idk where ig just around the twon of malconaire, in this case?), symbolizing the pilgrimage of life, before returning at which point the officiant wraps his stole around the hands of the couple, and leads them three times around the holy book before they are crowned

they wear their wedding crowns for eight days (roderick: he's taller AND he has a crown????? ;DDD jkjk)

they then walk around the town w family and close friends, receiving well wishes etc AGAIN, this time tho usually ahorse/in a carriage rather than afoot.

there's usually a doll decoration to catch the well wishes of the witnesses, which is afterward washed and kept by the couple for good luck in their married lives

after the gorko toast, the second toast is made to the parents (valentina: finally, things are about me again)

"Afterward, the new couple steps onto the floor for the first dance of the night. The guests dance, sing, play games, and make toasts as the night goes on. For the next several days, the family continues to eat, drink, and celebrate. It is traditional to have an entertainer (tamada) who organizes the games, dancing, and ensures the guests get to know each other and are looked after."

"Traditionally, brides in Russia did not wear white and instead wore red, a joyous and festive color reserved for weddings. Bridal attire consisted of a sarafan, a sleeveless vest with shoulder straps, worn with a blouse underneath, as well as an ornamented headpiece decorated with rounded beads and gold thread"

guest attire is generally formal but modest "Women typically cover their heads with a scarf, and longer dresses or skirts"

so yeah!! there's more out there but here's some stuff for inspo!!!

[newtlesbian]

the bowling ep didnt even get to be a dee episode. girls episode that turns into so dennis episode just like she said she cant have anything that is hers without it being turned into the dudes of the gang. and even works as commentary of the viewers talking more about the guys than the girls even though as a group it was a girls episode and they had better interactions with each other. tragic all around and predicted by dee

ill analyze how artemis and gail fucked each other but its in a threeway with frank. perfect way to show no attention paid to women individually and their relationships to other women. because always the men are taking up space. but hey it was genuinely a really funny episode the jokes were solid. just speaking from a character thing i want more deetention this season. good deetress moments at least which i lov. but ive said it before i wanted to see dee and the women take a W already

[zukkacore]

The thing about Friends is that the three girls are like the only white women I would give it all up for. But for the guys. You see, they're all dykes to me but for different reasons. With Ross i genuinely have to pretend he came from the Bottoms 2023 school for unloveable insane ugly and untalented dykes to find him enjoyable, then pretend all his sexist moments fall under "he would not fucking say that". Otherwise i will start chomping leg the moment he comes on screen. If Ross was a dyke he would be so PJ Bottoms 2023 coded. All the characters have moments where they are terrible but there is something about his villainy that is particularly insufferable. He is a uhaul lesbian. He is an evil dyke, but a dyke nonetheless. With Joey, he's less of a lesbian himself and more of a lesbians pet freak. A sopping wet little guy. He is my equivalent to gay men’s relationship to lady Gaga. Early Joey is so beautiful its just fun for me to pretend he is butch coded, but tragically cast as a straight male due to the hayes code. I yearn for him in his floppy hair era the way old dykes from yore yearn for Calamity Jane. Chandler on the other hand i just genuinely can't unsee as a fagdyke. I know the homophobic jokes at his expense and at his dad are awful but but they’re like. So awful that they loop back around to feeling like home to me. The episode where they make fun of him for kissing a guy makes me so mad. As if he isn’t a dyke I’d watch out for. As if a lesbian and a twink who wanna hook up with him aren’t fighting over what his gender is as we speak. Its not a headcanon thats just who he is to me now. I watch every scene genuinely no longer able to see him as a cisgender man. He is so much more to me. Ignore that this is the straightest show of all time and play along w me for one sec on my egg Chandler journey

[falu-red-dreams]

Jujutsu Kaisen E25 liveblog:

i rlly liked how the previous season ended cant wait to see what happens here

am a lil scared for this szn though bc i remember one time when my ex boo was watching it smth very tragic happened but also that might have been another series so idk 🥲

anyway starting the ep now

okay wait why is the animation alr so much smoother WHAT

SORRY BUDGET WHAT

nahhh no way even the little pedestrians got animated so well what the hell

sorry who is this guy “exorcise absorb” uhhhhhhh what. man is eating curses? im only on the 1st minute and im alr so confused.

we see gojo for 1sec and then suddenly we get some lore abt a haunted house

who r these women i feel like they’re vaguely familiar. AH YES ITS THE HOT MONEY ASKING WOMAN

jesus this does look haunted asf.

idk how i feel abt the 3d animation it’s giving me a little too much cgi and too little actual drawing but it’s insane how smooth it is in comparison to the previous season

i know they’re in a haunted house but man i’m getting an unsettling feeling especially the looking behind the bed part scared me.

mannn i relate to the woman with the red and white outfit. Utahime. i’m also a scaredy cat.

i’m a lil scared for them im ngl. this happy moment is scaring me a lil.

oh gojo is here :) all is good

NEW INTROOOOOOOOOOO

OH THE HOT GUY EVERYONE FROM ANITWT IS THIRSTING ON IS ALSO IN THE INTRO????

… where is yuuji in the intro?

huh. are we back in time?

HUH why are all the adults in this series second years now 😭😭😭

…… wait is that one guy w black hair and 1 long strand that’s friends w gojo here the evil sorcerer in the future?

i’m a lil confused abt the tengen sama lore

who r these q people

WAIT

wait

WAIT

THE TWITTER SEXYMAN THE GUY THAT BOO SIMPED FOR TOO IS

IS A FUSHIGURO

WHATTTTTTTTTTT

…..?!!?! and that’s where we end the ep???

[reloha]

Just going to throw interesting tags here.

@aq2003:

#my feelings on these are as follows: 1) like half of it but v conflicted over it. overrated. 2) it's good but so overrated and needs to#stop winning every series 4 poll. 3) it's the worst episode of rtd era by far and anyone who likes it has bad taste#4) second worst ep in rtd's run and i genuinely do not get what people see in this one. the tragic ending doesnt even land#5) i have seen ppl declare undying love for this one which i do not understand whatsoever bc it's just kinda mediocre to me#im sorry women but astrid was just Some White Lady and i wanted martha back so bad

[Me: Yes. I just wanted Martha back. I’ve been thinking about that a lot. ]

@harrowq:

#i don’t like human nature/family of blood…..#it feels kinda disingenuous saying it but i really am not a fan#metawise it is interesting to talk and think about but i always skip it on rewatch#i just. don’t like it

@alexmey-does-an-arts:

#i liked voyage of the damned mostly for the foons. best dw side characters ever#i agree astrid was just. Boring#i think girl in the fireplace had super cool designs for the villians and an interesting plot#however that plot was done far far better late in deep breath and the characterization sucks (thanks moffat)#i have issues with all of these lmaoo#human nature/family of blood has so much horrific treatment of martha as does shakespeare code#silence in the library/forest of the dead is good but not as good as people say imo#i love love river song but i just don't think she was introduced as well as she couldve been#and later on moffat just doesn't write her that great either

@nethnad:

#i voted girl in the fireplace because 1) its mickeys only ever episode as a full-time companion before the two-parter he leaves in#and hes shafted half the damn time like come on. but also 2) it is so clearly the beginning of moffats obsession w the time travelers wife#you watch it and youre like. moffat. moffat is this gonna frame the background for any later stories moffat. and he says ha dont worry#only to immediately use the same general trope w river of 'man meets girl out of time throughout her life'#its like the blaring fire alarm that signals how hes gonna treat women as showrunner

@danielfeketewrites:

#it's Army of Ghosts and Doomsday for me#The End of Time is also up there#I wasn't even aware that voyage or code were like#highly rated by the fandom?#i can understand voyage#it's a big dumb populist disaster movie#sure#but shakespeare's code?#it's a waste of shakespeare#on a pretty bland ep#written by groberts#that features a jkr shoutout#I thought we all knew this

@roxannepolice:

#v9ted silence in the library because yes it's a brilliant two parter but definition of overstated#like. MIDNIGHT is right next to it#human nature has bad concepts but I think it's the bad on purpose case. like if something that was meant to annoy you annoyed you#then it did it's job. also as woth dim the whole human nature as core theme of s3 is literally spelled out there#I confess I have a soft spot for Shakespeare code but that's bc it basically said Shakespeare's mysterious muse was a WOC#abs a marx'a vrothers reference#girl in a fireplace and v9yage of the damned get just due appreciation I feel? Like they're well liked#but I've never seen them praised as deep or sth

@roadimusprime:

#Blink#I said what I said#Doctor Who#SITL/FOTD and GITF are overrated though but Blink gets the crown

@s-h-a-s-e:

#midnight. because everyones always going on about how bloody great it is.#it makes me really really sad. and not in a fun way#p.s. i'm related to the guy who plays morvin van hoff (foon's husband) in voyage of the damned.#i've only met him once but he was really cool (complimented the top hat I was wearing)

@illyriashade56

#shakespeare code i am not a fan of#i think martha deserves to beat ten with a rock for how she got treated by him#also the unrequeited love aspect is so hamfisted in that ep i hate it#martha is a better person than me i would have tried to strangle shakespeare at least twice if i were in her place

@foreign-dorian:

#my least favorite of these is absolutely gitf#NOT because it’s a bad story but because it feels like Moffat had a grand idea and ran with it without any respect for characterization#it just doesn’t fit the season that it was written in#and he clearly reuses the storyline with Amy in place of Reinette; I just think it would’ve worked better if he’d saved it for s5#Shakespeare code/family of blood are interesting conceptually but they did Martha so dirty#honestly of these choices voyage wins by dint of not being openly racist + Moffat not being weird about women + Bannakaffalatta

@variousqueerthings :

#look ive gotta just echo prev tags here#my feelings on these are as follows: 1) like half of it but v conflicted over it. overrated. 2) it's good but so overrated and needs to#stop winning every series 4 poll. 3) it's the worst episode of rtd era by far and anyone who likes it has bad taste#4) second worst ep in rtd's run and i genuinely do not get what people see in this one. the tragic ending doesnt even land#<-#and for 5 on my own terms is that it's a silly episode and i have fun with it and mainly it's like#fits into the canon of ten being a bleeding heart who immediately loses every time (stay losing king) -- didnt know it was considered a bes#i think it's funny that family of blood double and silence of the library double were voted into the top ten best OF ALL TIME in the dwm#because yeah.... family of blood double is like. cool in some places. and soooooooo messy in others#and the library double episodes i just... i think they're fine. i think the library itself is cool and donna's narrative is cool#but i think bits of it age in that unpalatable moffat-and-women kind of way and you could see some of my least favourite#tenth doctor-writing in it... and that ending *rolls eyes*#generally i think moffat is so often So bad at emotional character-based writing (see girl in fireplace but you get some in silence as well#(less with donna but i think that's ctate working well with the material tbh)#that he can have the coolest concepts in the world if he wants -- 99% of the time i am not emotionally invested#so hashing it out in the tags will probably go for silence#good episode to be clear -- soooo severely overrated#(toby whithouse out-moffated moffat in the god complex by writing an episode that was weird AND had strong characters)

@canlifechillforasecond:

#HAS to be Shakespeare Code or Girl in the Fireplace#the whole madame de pompedore thing was so weird#continuing trend of Steven Moffat being weird about women#and just *gestures to Shakespeare code*#really hard to choose but I’m gonna go with Shakespeare code bc there are a few genuinely fun scenes in girl in the fireplace#that scene in Shakespeare code where Shakespeare just starts saying racist shit#even though it was ‘of the times’#was so completely unnecessary to the plot

[narcissusneverknewme]

if you don’t care about marriage because you think it’s unnecessary but your partner really wants to be married... just ask them to  marry you? Like, if you intend to spend your life with them then why not? if it “doesn’t matter” to you and it Does Matter to them. then why would you deny them the security of signing the “meaningless papers?” plus, tax benefits?

[ilajue]

hmm

(rant, dont reblog <3)

[filipinoizukuu]

Izuku seeing another facet of how villains like Toga don't operate in complete malice and have been misunderstood basically their entire lives, so he tries to reach out to her but Uraraka ends up being the one to reach for her effectively getting them to save her: :D

Uraraka and Toga enter in a love triangle just so Izuo/////cha can sail: D:

SO TRUE SO TRUE SO TRUE!!!!!

ochako and togas arc has been SUCH a well built up arc and while i do agree mha isnt the best at writing women, i GENUINELY adore both ochako and togas potential as characters and have been WAITING for their payoff as character foils ever since they met in the training camp invasion arc!!!!

one of the BIGGEST points of mha is the fact that its supposed to be a deconstruction of good guys vs bad guys. its MORE than just villains giving their tragic backstories and the heroes patiently waiting until they can kick their asses — its about these kids, these new generations of heroes learning important lessons in how unfair society is so they can correct the mistakes of the older generations!!

watering down ochakos slow development of defining for HERSELF what it means to be a hero for a cheap romance plot device is smth that im GENUINELY scared of happening.

izuku and ochakos relationship deserve better than that. they BOTH are. and its SOOOO incredibly ooc to CHARACTERIZE OCHAKO AS SOMEONE WHO WOULD ESCALATE CONFLICT WITH A VILLAIN OVER HER CRUSH!!!

one of the things we KNOW about ochako is that she isnt making herself out to be the 'heroine love interest' of the story. she doesnt see herself as an extension or even PARTNER to deku because she makes it clear from the get-go that before her feelings and romantic interests for deku, she is a hero first and foremost. she is capable and she knows her responsibility.

ochako is an INCREDIBLY empathetic character and imho she deserves a lot more credit for how nuanced she feels sometimes in the story. like how her instincts and priorities were never ever self motivated even when they appear to be on surface-level. she didnt defend deku w the megaphone n shit bc of her crush, she did it bc hes her BEST FRIEND and he was being unjustly persecuted. she spoke to bakugou fearlessly abt his strained relationship with deku not because she wanted to antagonize him on dekus behalf or something, but because she genuinely CARES about both of them. she didnt become a hero for "vain and materialistic" reasons like cash bc she was selfish. she did it because that was her way of taking RESPONSIBILITY for her family. just like how iida continues the ingenium legacy bc thats HIS responsibility.

shes such a good character and i really hope this upcoming arc doesnt undo all that

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

watched s11ep1

i will provide you with a quick review before i disappear back into the ether of twd avoidance

lots of spoilers under the cut. also i wrote way too much and i worked all night and haven’t slept so i didn’t bother to reread literally any of it, so it might be completely nonsensical, tho if you don’t expect that from me by this point idk whose blog you’ve been reading

enjoy:

hokay, first off, i’ll start by saying that i enjoyed it more than i expected to. i’ve been avoiding any sort of discussion about stuff, but my google algorithm is so fucked at this point that i still get recommended articles and stuff every now and then, so i was already pretty aware of what i was walking into, and was expecting it to be eh, but actually i prob enjoyed it more than i enjoyed the finale

(don’t get too excited tho, the finale was rly boring lmfao)

anyway

episode starts off with a tense scouting mission

it takes .005 seconds into the episode for caryl to exchange a look of longing, establishing that they are still having weird conflict and are both too fucking stubborn to do anything about it even tho they hate it desperately

i imagine that will continue for a while

rosita, kelly, carol, maggie, what’s her face with the bad hair, and lydia (i think that’s everyone?) lower down to some army bunker or something, where a bunch of walkers are taking a snooze, and the girls are very respectful of walker naptime, and do their best not to wake them up

obviously they eventually wake up, but i’ll get to that in a sec

as they’re tiptoeing through the walker tulips, there’s this split second where carol spots a machine gun, and looks at maggie with a face like, “can i plzzzz, i am mad horny for that machine gun,” but maggie tells her no. (i 110% expected her to defy orders and accidentally wake up all the walkers, but she actually behaved herself for once. well. mostly)

never fear, tho, after the girl gang collects a bunch of MREs they go back to wait for the dudes waiting up top to pull them up, and bc men ruin everything, one of the ropes break, and daryl catches it before it falls, but then a slow motion drop of blood falls on a walker’s face, and just like that, walker naptime is over, and carol uses her bow and arrow for two seconds before she is like “fuck this” and whips out the machine gun

yes, she is super hot using it

yes, daryl watches her do it

anyway, all the other girls get rescued, and carol is about to be pulled up, but bc she is a #girlboss, she first makes a beeline for one more crate full of MREs. daryl covers her while she gets the loot, and when she gets back up top they have another charged moment as carol hands him back his knife

just fuck already, jfc

titles!

cut to alexandria where everything is still not smilestimes

BUT, we do get to see uncle daryl run and hug rj and judith (and dog), and FUCKING HERSHEL JR, LIGHT OF MY LIFE is also there

istg, they could not have casted a better child, i a d o r e him

oh, and some friends of maggie’s show up too, idk

cut to a staff meeting where everyone is like, whomp whomp, we’re all gonna starve to death unless we figure out something quick

cue maggie going, “oh, i know where food is, but it requires me to tell you my tragic backstory, in case anyone didn’t watch my bottle episode”

she tells her dramatic backstory about all her friends getting slaughtered by the reapers for no apparent reason, and then she’s like “anyway, let’s go back there!”

no one thinks it’s a great idea, but a group of people decide to go anyway, including daryl and gabriel. rosita is super pissed that gabriel is going, and carol doesn’t go, probably partly bc it’s a shitty fucking idea, and also bc they have to keep caryl apart bc otherwise they’ll fix their problems ahead of schedule and they won’t be able to drag out the needless angst

daryl looks kind of annoyed that carol doesn’t volunteer to go 

bitch, i thought you wanted her to stop putting herself in the line of fire! make up your damn mind!

moving on

cut to a thunderstorm, where, if you look closely, you’ll notice daryl is wearing the STUPIDEST hat i’ve ever seen. just get an umbrella, jfc

for some reason negan is with them, bc ig he knows his way around washington dc, and no one in six years has bothered to figure out how to get around the city and/or get a map, and he is like “hey guys, maybe we shouldn’t try to walk in this fucking hurricane,” and everyone is like “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” 

this will be a common occurrence 

but eventually daryl is even like “actually, it’s rly unpleasant out here, and my hat is mad stupid, can we go inside plz?”

so they go inside an old metro station, which is actually a rly cool cinematic choice. i rly like the idea, and they executed it rly well

speaking of executions

there are some fucking RULL CREEPY walkers. idk why they bothered me so badly, but they were what they at first assumed were corpses wrapped up in tarps, but turns out none of them had been properly put down, so they go through killing these rotted bodies that had supposedly been there since The Fall, and it’s very gross and cool

this entire time, btw, negan is like “hey, i know i’m a shitty person, but i have some rational arguments about why we shouldn’t be doing this right now,” and everyone is like, “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” and he’s just like “god fucking damnit”

(i forgot to mention that at one point, when they’re headed into the metro station, negan is trying to warn ppl of the potential danger, and everyone is ignoring him, and he tries to talk to daryl, and daryl is like “fuck you, you think we’re BUDDIES?” and negan is like “oh, ok, so you’re gonna be like that too? fanfreakingtastic” and it’s very funny)

anyway. a fat monster zombie escapes its tarp at one point, and tries to eat some npc, and negan saves him, again is like “hey, anyone else realize that this is a FUCKING BAD PLAN?”, and everyone is like “we don’t care, you’re still shitty and we’re not listening to you, and you don’t actually care about random npc i would literally not be able to pick out in a lineup bc his face is so generic, you’re not the boss of us!!!”

it’s at this point that negan finally is like, “why am i even here? bc i know how to get around washington dc? do none of you have a map?” and i was like, “right?! that’s what i said!” 

it’s then revealed that maggie only brought negan along to murder him under the guise of “oops, he got hurt in the line of duty, it wasn’t my fault,” and daryl has this look on his face that says, “i seriously need to stop hanging out with lethal women bent on revenge bc it’s gonna give me high blood pressure,” and maggie has a badass moment where she points a gun she has for some reason at negan and is like “i have like, one shred of human compassion left inside of me, and if you keep pushing me i will fucking kill you without a second thought, so shut the hell up”

(in her defense, negan had just dropped glenn’s name to purposely antagonize her, which was rude as hell)

(for the record, i’m completely on maggie’s side here, but negan still is right that trapping themselves in a metro station is a bad call)

anyway, moving away from that briefly

i think this jump cut happens sooner, i don’t actually remember, but whatever who cares, point is, we get to the part of the show that actually matters, and that’s anything involving my love, juanita “princess” sanchez

and also eugene, yumiko, and ezekiel

they are being asked increasingly invasive questions by commonwealth ppl, some of which i wish they actually would of answered (what do they use to wipe their asses with?? surely toilet paper has long since become extinct)

zeke, who is so much more tolerable as a character now that he’s not larping as a king, has this incredibly weird and sort of sexually charged moment with a dude in an orange stormtrooper costume, where he’s like, “i bet you were an asshole cop back before The Fall, you stupid fascist, #fuckthepolice, mb literally? idk, this moment has a lot of pent up aggression that could easily translate to hate sex, it might just be the intense eye contact, but w/e, let’s just move along,” and then he has a coughing fit to remind the audience that he’s currently dying of cancer, and orange stormtrooper is like “lolz, loser, drink some water you dumb piece of shit”

cut to the wholesome foursome sitting at a picnic table in a guarded courtyard eating gruel, and yumkio, who finally has a personality, and princess are like “hey, this place fucking sucks, can we leave?” and zeke is like, “yeah, i met this orange stormtrooper who i think might be dtf and/or murder, so we should probably bounce”

but eugene is like, “but i want some hot stephanie ass, and also some bullshit excuse about how mb commonewealth will save alexandria” which, they left before things went super downhill, right? idr. it was after hilltop fell, but they don’t know alexandria got fucked either, if i recall? w/e, not important

two seconds after he says this, they talk to some people who are like “we’ve been here for four months, or maybe it’s been nine, i don’t actually remember, i’ve stopped processing the passage of time,” and the wholesome foursome takes this as a bad sign, tho that’s just the life i’ve lived as a night worker during a pandemic, so i was like #mood

but then they watch some guy get dragged away screaming to get “reprocessed” and eugene is like “ok, nvm, let’s bounce”

(my theory on what “reprocessing” is, is that they’re stuck in a room and have to watch hours and hours of customer service training videos on vhs from the 90s)

i definitely got my jump cut scenes mixed up bc i think the negan accusing maggie of a murder plot thing happened in between this scene and then the next commonwealth scene, but w/e, i’ll just finish what happens in the commonwealth arch

the wholesome foursome are trying to hatch a plan to escape, except princess, my love, is distracted watching some stormtroopers flirt, and the other three are like “wtf, dude, how can you even tell any of them apart?” and princess then tells them every stormtroopers backstory bc she is brilliant and pays rly close attention to shit, and the other three are like, “this is useful information, thank you for being an insane person”

their plan involves yumiko and eugene dressing up as stormtroopers and leading princess and zeke out of the place, which works fine actually, except on their way out they come across the Depressing Wall of Probably Mostly Dead Missing Loved Ones

they’re about to leave, when princess is like, “wait, yumiko, you’re on here, that’s weird huh?”

sure enough, yumiko  is on the wall, with a note from ig her sister 

the scene ends with yumiko going, “guys...i can’t leave...i have tragic backstory to unveil”

tragic backstory to be continued ig

back in murder metro town, npc and some other npc have stolen all the supplies, there’s a train blocking the track, and a horde of walkers are coming towards them, so things are not going fantastic

they horde is too big to take down, so they start to climb on top of the train car to get away

but dog runs away!

and daryl, being every pet owner ever, is like “gotta go get my dog, guys, try not to get killed while i’m gone, c u soon!” and he ducks under the train and disappears

#priorities

the episode ends with maggie climbing up the train car but getting grabbed by a walker and dangling off the edge, and negan is there and they have a lion king moment where maggie is like, “scar! help me!” and negan is like “long live the king, bitch” and walks away into the shadows, leaving maggie to a potential death

which, while i know isn’t actually going to happen, would be a really fucking funny move on the writers’ part

like, “look, lauren’s back! and now she’s dead, bet you didn’t expect that!”

anyway

my assumption is negan will actually end up helping her up or something, continuing his ambiguous morality bullshit that actually isn’t ambiguous bc he BEAT GLENN TO DEATH WITH A FUCKING BAT WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE IN FRONT OF HIS PREGNANT WIFE

the maggie/negan arch is kind of dumb, but whatevs, i’ll tolerate it, as long as my boy glenn gets justice in the end

anyway, cue credits!

final assessment: good episode. i’m much more interested in commonwealth than the reapers, tho i am hoping that daryl’s personality-less ex turns out to be a monster killing machine with no conscience, that’ll be fun. princess is a gift from god. hershel jr needs his own tv show. needs more carol (and caryl)

the end! going back into my walking dead free chamber! see you next episode!

-diz

[equalseleventhirds]

@femmedionysus mentioned needing lighter, fluffier, less-ultimately-tragic podcasts than the magnus archives, and do u kno what? i think a lot of ppl can benefit from this. and i can help! a little! maybe!! generally these have at least some emotionally difficult moments, but they are lighter and appear to be heading towards a not-too-tragic ending.

(sorted into categories and lists, bcos who am i without categories and lists?)

podcasts i am fully up to date on and can vouch for up until their current end point, altho most of them are not quite done yet (there's like, potential for them to turn super sad, but in general the direction they're going in is Not That Tragic):

unseen (a series of one-character episodes all taking place in the same universe, a magical world hidden behind ours. a couple of eps are linked character-wise, but a lot of them are unrelated, individual stories. fairly gentle, tendency to end eps on a high note, cohesive & interesting worldbuilding.)

wooden overcoats (a funeral home sitcom. no, really! the funn siblings run the only funeral home in their village, until charismatic golden-boy chapman shows up with his own, better funeral home. lots of morbid humor but usually humor, altho a few episodes ARE sad and hit hard. those sad arcs do resolve with eventual happiness and found family stuff tho.)

victoriocity (features one of the actors from wooden overcoats! an alternate steampunk reality where queen victoria, um, never dies. ever. and london gets some seriously weird tech! follows an inspector and a reporter trying to solve Mysteries. there's like murders & death & stuff but the main characters do wind up safe & more or less content, even tho fleet's grumpy. kind of like, Extremely British, with the colonialist issues that 1800s london implies, but like, they try to address it sorta? it's not a major plot point)

welcome to night vale (i know i KNOW everybody knows this one....... but Things Are Generally Fine, u kno. i mean there's the occasional upsetting part. but things are fine. do skip 'a story of love and horror' to avoid what imo was one of the MOST upsettingly tragic things tho.) (confession: i have two episodes of this to catch up on, but i'm not actually THAT far behind, so i'm comfortable with its place here)

midnight radio (this one's all done actually! there is a ghost on the radio, and she starts receiving letters from a living woman. and yes ok it STARTS with a dead woman with a tragic past. HOWEVER it ends hopefully so like!!!) (in good conscience: not fluffy or funny at all. gets very serious at times. but goes towards a genuinely hopeful ending, which was why it's on here.)

the strange case of starship iris (found family revolutionaries in space!!!! shit gets heavy but they! get! through it!! i like when they get through it.) (to be super clear, it does get VERY serious, but they do get through it and judging by the narrative vibes and how the creators discuss it, they’re gonna be okay by the end. and they are mostly okay now.)

khôra (based on greek mythology, but In Space! the witch medea is... recruited by the hero atalanta to find the golden fleece, which her dead husband jason hid. once again we start with tragic pasts, but it is heading so fast for found family, and given that the premise of the show is giving women from greek mythology better than what they had in myth..... I Think It Will End Happy)

kaleidotrope (college radio hosts talk about love on their possibly-slightly-magical campus. god it's so. it's so fluffy. full of fluff. like, legit i think the least serious audio drama i've ever listened to, it's simply just. soft. very romantic. occasionally embarrassing. FILLED with fluff.)

time: bombs (a three-episode podcast made by long story short productions after w359 as like.... an experiment? i think? about the shenanigans of a bomb squad, who are remarkably funny for... a bomb squad. there's literally bombs & stuff and some injuries, but nobody dies, nobody is tragic, one guy does not get to beat a record he rly wants to beat but he learns stuff abt Being A Better Person or w/e so that's nice.)

podcasts i am NOT fully up to date on but what i have listened to is not too horribly tragic:

inn between (fantasy found family! you know how d&d podcasts are? well, between adventures, d&d characters rest and recuperate; this is those between adventure moments, taking place in a lovely little inn.)

sir rodney the root (once again fantasy! once again found family!! funny & sometimes kinda weird podcast about some folks on a Quest that goes off the rails, god i need to catch up on it...)

interference (oh hey another d&d-inspired fantasy podcast....... huh. but! one side of the podcast happens in a reality not unlike our own! that and a d&d-ish world are colliding, and we hear two women talking to each other as their worlds connect...)

the amelia project (there's an agency that will fake your death, for a price.... no, not money, they want an interesting story! and oh boy do these clients deliver. last time i was listening there was some hubbub about secret government agencies spying on the amelia project itself...... hm.)

alba salix (okay yes another fantasy podcast......... it's a comedy, with occasional drama, abt the physician for a magical kingdom and the shenanigans of her and her two unruly assistants, and also the royal family, and also....... i was actually v fond of the mini-series between seasons, abt an orc who runs a pub, more than the main story? altho i am not caught up on either so it's possible this could reverse.)

there's also a few from the podcast marathon which, if ur not aware, was me running through the first episodes of a bunch of podcasts to see what sounded good (i will get back to that eventually....), but this means i cannot vouch for them past the first episode. nevertheless, from general tone they seem to be Not Very Tragic, so.

saffron and peri

the godshead incidental

the one stars

solutions to problems

the rest is electric

the prickwillow papers

and 195

sidequesting

come on in, the water's fine

[antiloreolympus]

A Bunch of Anti LO Asks

1. I have a lot to say about lo’s writing so here we go:

1) there is so little foreshadowing. I can’t even name one instance other then Kronos being reawakened but that was a literal direct shot of it instead of it being hinted at. There’s very little to none at all ( correct me if I’m wrong.) 2) The pacing??? This all happens in 2 weeks but so much has happened and it’s all happened so slow it feels like it’s been at least a year ( in universe time.) 3) I feel like this has been said enough but using trauma as a way to move the plot along is literally the laziest thing I’ve ever seen.

I’m sorry if this is like hella stupid or something like that

2. i dont get why the writing in LO refuses to let persephone be dark and accepting of death/punishment, because isn't that what you need to show she's going to be a good queen? she seems terrified of the concept and keeps trying to find ways to reverse them, which goes against the whole point of ruling over the dead and even something in myth hades DID NOT like, so its weird to keep making her the opposite of what she's supposed to be? shes just making the case she's not right for the role?

3. apollo/hyacinthus is having such a big resurgence right now that i dont get why rachel didnt include them as friends/a couple persephone cares about and, when hyacinthus dies, have persephone resurrect him. not only would it show her kind nature and sway over hades, but it would also be some actual positive canon gay representation that has legit myth backing. RS obviously got most of her takes from tumblr, yet couldnt take the pro apollo/hyacintus take too? is her heterosexuality that strong :/

4. the whole r*pe plotline was BY RACHEL HERSELF said to not be included, she promised as much, and readers were excited they were finally able to see a depiction of HxP without sexual assault, only for it to turn out she was lying with only a measly "this might be bad uwu" warning on the ep, triggering many people in the process. then she tried to backtrack and claim it was a #MeToo moment, and that irl victims were haters for calling it out. That speaks to who she really is, and it's not pretty.

5. lo hades isnt even cute tbh. what exactly makes him so desirable to make all these women fight over him for? his design is basic (and kinda antisemitic, a guy with a gigantic nose controlling the media and all the banks/money? rachel please), hes not charming or funny, he talks over all the women in his life, never listens to being rightfully called out, he never apologizes or does any self reflection, etc. hes just awful??? like even by an uwu hes misunderstood POV hes just a boring jerk?

6. I think the reason Punderworld or HXP Ficlets doesn't get the amount of scrutiny LO does (and PW is def LO's rival, WT has begged to Feature it several times) is because they had the good sense to never get high and mighty about their depictions, something RS absolutely does all the time. In fact the PW creator constantly promotes over myth comics and loves other takes on the mythos, while RS flips out unless its exactly how she sees it. How she survived school w/ that attitude we'll never know

7. also if demeter was as evil in LO as they want her to be then why would she ever let her emotionally unstable child out into the city with no supervision and no way to contact her? Why would she be going through all this trouble including putting her own welfare into question like trying to keep persephone out of harms' way via the cruelty of thee olympian men and out of jail (WHERE SHE BELONGS) if she's the big bad? Why even make her abusive and evil to begin with? Can't Persephone love both?

8. even if lo needs a villain (which it doesnt but w/e) must it be apollo? or leto? or minthe? or anyone for that matter? if you need some ~drama~ just use eris? she doesn't need some tragic backstory, she's an asshole for the sake of being an asshole. you could so easily have her basically be like TMZ causing discord through her popular blog and causing shit because she can. LO shoots itself in the foot by trying too hard to be deep and thought provoking when its as deep as a puddle.

9. less persephone/hades and more dionysos/ariadne: whats more romantic? a man kidnapping his underage niece and her friends crying themselves to death over it (cyane) or ariadne being dumped by her first boyfriend only to come back with some serious bling and a hot divine partner that is at least the physical equiv of her own age? (dionysos is usually depicted as mentally/physically quite young, so the godly age gap is less creepy/statutory-y)

10. vis a vis the sexual assault anon: it is also something that happens with horrific frequency to trans people as well. the number of trans reports of sexual assault that get thrown out per year by sample size is almost 5x the amount of cis female ones. LO already has some weird terfy undertones with the fertility thing, but just because it happens less (or rather, is reported less) by cisgender men doesnt mean it happens the most to cis women.

[couriersiccs]

gun violence tw, death tw, tried keeping it short but i have anxiety about our society & government and also haha this sucks, man.

like, isn’t this exactly what shittenhaus’s acquittal set us up for? people who feel like they can be the vigilantes they think they’re being and get a pat on the back by the state for it? the ID of saturday night’s shooter hasn’t been released, well over 24 hours past the event, and it’s only speculation so far as to why (the fact that he’s still in the ICU? that he has ties to PPB?) it’s partly my anxiety that tells me he will go unpunished and that this will just keep happening, but not entirely. the false narratives spun by the PPB, the alt-right dipshits, the people who claim to be journalists and are in fact just violent fucking scumbags, gleefully spinning the narrative to their own uses, who couldn’t give less of a shit about people’s lives or what’s true or not as long as it serves them and their inflammatory agenda that LEADS to violence like this on PURPOSE -

it feels like living during wartime and there hasn’t even been a war officially declared. this is not Actual Wartime, i cannot stress how much i don’t want to devalue the experiences of people who have lived through capital-W War, but it’s like a parallel universe of war seeping into the one we’re all experiencing, that only some of us are even perceptive to. that only some of us can or want to pay attention to. i don’t want war, but the people waging it do, and they use these “independent agents” as a sort of fucking proxy war or some shit. the war of disinfo. the internal war, the one responsible for further polarizing of every side possible. the war of ideas that spawns actual acts of warfare. conveniently under no structure of command, just people starting fires and hoping they’ll catch a strong wind in the direction of their preference.

i think of all the people who have never had their suffering recognized, both in this place and others. i see it as such a fucking crime against humanity to see someone in pain and to not believe that they’re in pain. to dismiss someone’s own experiences. it’s the basis of gaslighting, the basis of genocide denial, all rooted in the same sentiment: “You say you’ve experienced pain, but I don’t believe you because I have my own ideas that I think are more real than yours.”

it’s ego, the fearful guarding of it by any means necessary. it’s power, the absolute defense against losing it, even if it’s power unfairly granted, power you didn’t gain yourself, power over others that no one should have access to. it’s sadism, sometimes, but far less often than i think people dismiss this as. still a factor, though. sometimes.

i’m just processing.. this whole thing. again, and again. people who could be me if i chose to participate in the ways they do, but don’t, specifically because of these risks that i’m personally not okay with. the women in this attack didn’t even think that night would be dangerous, since it’d been a recurring protest that has been civil and peaceful, afaik, since its conception. they were just directing traffic. they were there to prevent cars from attacking protesters. (i’m reminded of Summer Taylor in 2020. of charlottesville.) that was the role they accepted, and some guy comes out of a nearby home with a .45, calling them terrorist cunts, and they try to reason with him and he just fucking shoots them.

how can you account for that? how can you protest peacefully when people are sitting in their homes, guzzling lies to feel justified in their outrage over, ready to pick up the gun they own and take that outrage out on other people? how can anyone blame protesters for not protesting peacefully when this shit can, does, and will continue to happen? there was ONE protester on saturday who had a gun, and he used it to bring down the shooter. it was miraculous that only one person died, but absolutely fucking tragic that even one person died.

and we have 934k deaths reported from COVID to date in the US.

absolute fucking tragedies. that’s all war is, and that’s what it feels like, and i can’t stop mourning because, not only is it not over yet, it’s barely even begun or been recognized by anyone who abstains from involvement, even if they live in the same apartment complex as you, even if they were born in the same family as you. i can only regroup, feel what i feel when it needs to be felt, and then do the work i know i need to do.

recognition, restoration, reparation. that’s all we’ve ever asked for, and we’re losing our lives over it. (by “we” i mean all of humanity that has in fact asked for such, which i think includes protesters in support of Black Lives Matter. that includes those who support protesters. we’re all in this together, right?)

[theradioghost]

Do you have any podcast recs that are super easy for those of us with audio processing problems? For me specifically that means one voice (or maybe two if they’re very distinct) and minimal complexity in the soundscaping, though if you have recs that don’t fit those that you think might apply to other people w/ different audio processing issues you can talk about those too! :)

I can certainly try! I feel as though I should put it out there that I often have a difficult time gauging where a podcast sits re: audio processing/HOH listeners; the literal entirety of my day job is being good at telling what people are saying in audio, and my own audio processing problems mostly just result in my near-inability to keep up with actual plays, so if any of these are misjudgements on those terms I apologize in advance.

* means that I know there are also transcripts available for the podcast in question!

SAYER: scifi dark comedy/horror. In a morally questionable tech corporation’s moonbase facilities, advanced artificial intelligence SAYER directs employees about their daily routines; this then turns over time into possibly the best story about AI I’ve ever heard. Especially in the first three seasons, virtually all speaking is done by one voice. (Caveat that a few other characters come in later, and they’re actually all voiced by one guy with different filters, but the filters are pretty distinct and characters tend to identify themselves by default at the beginning of every conversation.)

*The Cryptonaturalist: comforting supernatural folksiness. The titular expert on all things strange and wonderful reads poetry, admires nature, and talks about wonderful creatures like foxes that live within library shelves, stick insects that camouflage themselves as whole trees, salamanders that swim in parking lot asphalt, and Owls.

*The Hidden Almanac: comforting supernatural weirdness. Hagiographer, avid gardener, and Mysterious Dude In Plague Doctor Getup known as Reverend Mord gives tidbits of the history of his strange and fantastical world, along with gardening advice. Sometimes his tequila-swigging accidental necromancer best friend coworker Pastor Drom shows up. Written by fantasy author Ursula Vernon and mostly voiced by her husband Kevin. Extremely relaxing to listen to; the show ended last year but they put out five-minute episodes three times a week for eight years so there’s plenty of it. The first year or so actually doesn’t appear on most podcatchers so maybe check out the website.

Everything Is Alive: poignant, heartfelt interviews with inanimate objects. While there’s a different object featured each episode, it’s mostly just them and the interviewer, plus occasional phone calls with an expert on some subject brought up during the interview. Hits so much harder than you could possibly imagine given the summary. You WILL be upset about a can of off-brand cola.

*Quid Pro Euro: bizarre comedy mockumentary. A satire of the European Union in the style of a set of instructional tapes for EU employees made in the ‘90s, predicting what the EU would look like in the 21st century. Their predictions are somewhat off. Only one voice and delightfully it is Felix Trench. I don’t know anything about the EU but I still think it’s hilarious.

*Glasgow Ghost Stories: spooky supernatural. A resident of Glasgow is unexpectedly able to see the many ghosts that reside in the city -- but the ghosts have started to notice her too, and not all of them are friendly. A beautiful and atmospheric single-voice show; plus the feed also contains the very good miniseries Tracks.

*Palimpsest: poetic and haunting. An anthology series about young women experiencing supernatural happenings, each 10-episode season tells a different story in monologue (I think there are literally two episodes with other voices in them). Poignant, gorgeous, and sometimes heartbreakingly sad in the best way. In season one Anneliese wonders about the strange neighbors at her new apartment. In season two, Ellen takes a new job as companion to a supposed fairy princess imprisoned in a strange showroom in turn of the century America. In season three, former codebreaker Josie begins to see the spirits of the dead on the streets of London during the Blitz.

*Within the Wires: alternate history scifi found footage. From a world where a calamitous global war resulted in the installation of a new Society where nations and family ties are banned, an anthology of voices telling their stories. Each season is a single voice. Season one, a set of relaxation tapes deliver unexpected instructions to a government prisoner in a strange medical facility. In sSeason two, a series of museum exhibit guides spin out the mystery of two artists and their work. In season three, a government employee dictates notes to his secretary and begins to suspect a plot. In season four, the traveling leader of a secretive cultlike commune leaves sermons for her followers, and instructions for her daughter.

*Alice Isn’t Dead: lesbian americana roadtrip weird horror. Keisha’s wife Alice was missing, presumed dead. Now Keisha is a trucker, traveling the vast American emptiness to seek her out; but she’s about to become embroiled in the same vast secret war that may have drawn away her wife, and she’s not alone on the roads. Starts with one voice, adds a new one each season for a total of three. Also is finished.

*Station Blue: psychological horror. Matthew takes a job as the lone caretaker of an Antarctic research station for several months. This goes about as well as you’d predict. Very much a slow burn, strange, brooding horror of isolation. Heavy themes of mental illness based on the creator’s experiences of bipolar disorder. 

*Mabel: dark, poetic faerietale horror. Live-in caretaker Anna attempts to contact the absent granddaughter of her elderly employer, the lone resident of a strange and ancient house in Ireland. A love story, a haunted house story, a fairy tale with teeth. This one might be hit or miss; it sometimes tends to the abstract a bit, and there’s more soundscaping and some other occasional voices besides the main two protagonists. Definitely worth trying out, though, this is absolutely an underappreciated gem.

*Janus Descending: tragic scifi horror. Two researchers, Peter and Chell, travel alone to a distant planet to survey the ruins of its extinct civilization. Unfortunately, they discover exactly how that civilization died out. Excellent if you like movies like Alien, and also being extremely sad. Only two voices. Really unique story structure: it’s told via the two protagonists’ logs of the events, but you hear Chell’s logs in order, and Peter’s logs in reverse, with their perspectives alternating. The result is a tragedy where technically you know the ending from the start, but it’s told so cleverly that just what happened and how remains a tantalizing, tense, heartbreaking mystery right until the end.

*I Am In Eskew: poetic, surreal horror. Only two voices and few sound effects. David is a man trapped in the twisting, malevolent city of Eskew, where the rain always falls, streets seem to lead the same way twice, and nothing can be trusted. Riyo is an investigator, making her way through rumors and questions in search of a man long missing and a place that seems not to exist. Maybe my favorite horror media ever? Deeply disturbing and yet even the most awful things are somehow beautiful. Like if Lynch, Escher and Mieville had a terrible, wonderful baby.

*Tides: contemplative hard scifi. When biologist Dr. Eurus is wrecked alone on a distant alien world shaped by deadly tidal forces, her struggle to survive also becomes a meditative exploration of the ecosystem around her, and a recognition that here, she is the alien. Mostly it’s Dr. Eurus; sometimes you hear from her coworkers. It’s got Julia Schifini, what’s not to love?

*Midnight Radio: ghost story/romance. A 1950s radio host who broadcasts a late-night show to her small hometown begins to receive letters from a listener and respond to them on air. I wrote this! It has a total of three voice actors and virtually no soundscaping. I promise it’s good.

[dramaticnerdwithanxiety11]

, LITERALLY WHO LOOKS AT NICK FUCKING RUSSEL AND GOES “mm yes, take my autism”

THIS IS AN ISSUE

WHY AM I LIKE THIS

whatever its too late now! you get to hear me talk about it to avoid writing it!!

So, i’ll be explaining the show for you newbs who dont watch power rangers like a smart person (as in the not watching it is smart). 

Power Rangers Mystic Force is, obviously, power rangers. It’s got the standard team of five with superpowers and weird biker-looking uniforms. 

If im honest, PRMF is literally just power rangers but with like fantasy magic.

It follows Nick Russell, the new guy in town. He’s a biker and he’s got this tragic bs backstory about how his parents abandoned him (update: they work overseas, they adopted him and like do not vibe with him)  and he travels, living with  family members and how he never sticks around long enough to make friends. We know he’s staying with his sister, and about nothing else. ~ Nick Russell is actually really important, of course, he is the Red Ranger and if we didn’t have the leader be angsty what kind of Power Rangers would we be, am I right? (i dunno i havent watched other power rangers in like ten years) ~

But we’ll come back to that. ~

There’s also Charlie “Chip” Thorn, a hyperactive hyperimaginative redhead with a love for fantasy and superheroes. He’s eager to join the team and loves the idea of quests and fighting villains and shit. He’s the Yellow Ranger, with Lightning Powers. ~

Vida Rocca, the ‘bad girl’. She has this one strip of her short hair that she dyes and may I just say when I finished the show a third time I couldnt not think ‘yO HER HAIR CHANGES TO SHOW HOW SHE FEELS ABOUT THE RANGERS’ but lets be honest thats probably bs lol. Anyways, she’s a DJ and she loves music, she’s the Pink Ranger (who hates pink for most of the show) with Wind Powers. ~

Madison Rocca, the ‘good girl’. She’s Vida’s sister, and she like following the rules and she enjoys recording her friends to make little videos for them to look back on when theyre older. She’s hesitant and cautious, but will do a lot to make sure her sister is safe. She’s the Blue Ranger, with the power of Water. ~

Xander Bly, he’s cocky and thinks hes all that, and flirts with women like every chance he gets. He thinks he’s super handsome and amazing and probably has a superiority complex for one reason or another. He’s the green ranger, with Nature Powers. ~

Not rangers include: ~

Koragg, one of the big bads who (SPOILERS) later turns out to be Nick’s father and Udonna’s long lost husband. Early on in the show he can telepathically communicate with Nick, which gives Nick these really really bad headaches, great for angst, it’s used as a bit of a plot device through a lot of the show and ngl I love it cause angst. ~

Uhh forgot her name but there’s the Vampire Queen who has bat wings on her hips and is in a full leather body suit. She’s kinda boring. ~

I forgot her name as well but the Vampire Queens daughter, who later goes on to save her mother because she realizes that the Rangers are the good guys and she’s on the wrong team.  ~

Udonna, the kinda ex White Ranger and a very powerful sorceress, as well as the Ranger’s trainer and Claire’s aunt. ~

Claire, (SPOILERS) who turns out to be the Daughter of Udonna’s sister, who was more powerful than her and sacrificed her life to seal the gate to what is essentially hell. She’s comedically bad at magic early in the show, and acts a lot like a comedic relief. ~

The Master, aka The Big Bad that the evil guys are trying to let free. Koragg before he became Koragg was trying to kill him and succeeded in trapping him further than all the others. He’s some weird tentical creepy muscles-showing no skinned weird i dunno i think i repressed this cause i forgot what he looks like lol.

Alright, so those are the characters. Now let me explain the plot.

Nick rides into town on his bike and is usually found set up outside the record shop that the rest of the Rangers (yet to be) work at. Btw, theyre all teenagers, but I think this takes place in summer cause we never see them go to school. 

Anyways, this old man calls for somebody to help him, and says that his brother and him were walking through the woods and somebody grabbed him, and he needed somebody to go looking for his brother. Nick, not being apart of the town to know they have rumours about dying in the forest, offers to help.

Xander tells him the woods are haunted, he ignores the man saying the man needs help so who gives a shit about some rumours, and then Vida is like “i’ll help too,” and Chip joins in cause he thinks its gonna be some awesome quest. They make it out to the forest, and Maddie and Xander join them, (”Xander I told you if you ever took my car I’d rearrange your limbs!” -Vida, episode one).

The man is like super ominous and her vanishes once they get into the forest, this creepy witch lady saves them from some bad guys attempting to attack them, and then throws brooms at them that they fly off on. 

Time skip not actually in the show but im losing steam so we’re moving on. Eventually, they make it to RootCore, aka the base of operations, and meet Udonna and Claire. Udonna is this super powerful sorceress and the White Ranger, and she trains them. Claire is her apprentice who is comedically bad at magic.

She hands out wands to them, they go to leave, get into a fight, all of them but Nick believe in and use magic, Nick leaves the forest, Udonna fights Koragg and loses her staff aka her White Ranger magic, and the Rangers are left in charge of saving everybody. In the end, Nick goes to leave and ends up showing up anyways to save the rangers from Koragg and embraces the magic, becoming the Red Ranger.

That’s the gist of the first episode, and the rest is kinda just “fight the bad guys, discover random secrets that make a surprising amount of sense for a show like this, fail a couple times, do some weird shit then end on a happy note”

WHICH BTW THE ENDING? FUCKIN WEIRD

The fantasy creatures integrate with Humans, Vida dyes all her hair bright pink, Nick fucking leaves town and this is the weird part. Because for one, Nick wanted to stay with his friends it was obvious, but for two; the way he left was w e i r d . He, Udonna and not-evil-Koragg who I forgot the name of, leave together.

The end scene is Nick riding up to the edge of the rode on his Motorcycle, then it slowly pans out to show Udonna and Nek (im just calling him Nek as in not evil koragg now) on bikes as well?? one of them asks if hes ready to go and they ~ride off into the sunset~

For one: THESE ARE AGE OLD SORCERERS WHO HAVE VERY LITTLE IDEA ABOUT HUMAN TECH?? HOW DO THEY KNOW HOW TO RIDE??

For two: dID THEY JUST HAVE THESE BIKES RIDING AROUND?? AND THE HELMETS?? DID THEY SHELL OUT A BUNCH OF MONEY FOR THIS?? LITERALLY WHAT???

anyways, great show! youve gotta watch it on some.. less than legal sites but shh its okay shhhh. It used to be on Netflix but like yaknow, its gone now. Either way, it’s a great show in my opinion! Like I mean it’s bad cause Power Rangers, so to most who are looking to critique there’s probably shit acting, and there’s a lot of not needed grunting in battle, the effects are shitty and the costumes are kinda depressing, but it’s still enjoyable! 

Random Facts-- ~

Vida hates Pink, despite being the pink ranger. ~

Chip, Vida, and Maddie have been friends since either kindergarten or elementary school, i dunno about Xander. ~

They all work at a Record Shop/Music Shop together, and their boss is an idiot but kinda entertaining. ~

Vida turns into a vampire for about two episodes, and Chip is the one to figure it out. ~

Maddie gets turned to stone because Nick essentially calls her useless and shy, and so she went out to prove otherwise, and got caught up in an attack. ~

Chip opens a weird black bottle he found after a battle and some weird thing comes out and attacks him, he spends the B Plot of that episode quite literally dying with his soul being eaten and climbing a mountain to get the cure. ~

Koragg has a really dumb moral code about how he only fights with Honor and refuses to kill the rangers most of the time because its “not honorable” for some reason or another. ~

There’s an episode where Xander gets this really really ugly and big zit right on the tip of his nose, and he uses this perfection potion Claire made for plants. He proceeds to turn into a literal tree and be depressed. ~

There’s a Troblin, the child of a Troll and a Goblin, named Phineas who’s very entertaining and I like this. By the end of the show, he ends up dating the daughter of the Vampire Queen which when you think too hard about makes no sense. ~

Nick turns into Koragg at one point late in the series. I completely fucking forgot how, but he does lol.