#its so fucking good theyre so perfect for each other i love them i love them

[cinnabeat]

this is completely out of nowhere but i think i will be old and gray and it will be pkmn gen 79 and i will still be sitting there in my probable rocking chair saying "oh i cant wait until they make a pokemon special anime"

[heyitslapis]

Yall dont even know just how well-behaved i am DAILY at work! its like having two jobs at once! like im an undercover person who is put in a room with intolerable people very opposite of me in every way & is forced to play pretend & be niceys or else i dont get my prize at the end (clocking out & getting a paycheck)

[actuallyprobablyafaerie]

list of things that made me scream in pjo episode 3

Percy picking grover because he trusts him not to betray him!!! THEY ARE BEST FRIENDS OK

Luke still comes off as so likable and inconspicuous that whole convo he had with percy and the shoes i just

GROVER AND THE CONSENSUS SONG I CANT

annabeth staring at the different flavors of candy in the gas station and not being able to pick and just buying all of them. Thats the annabeth we deserve

ANNABETHS KNIFE APPEARANCE ALERT and a fury is IMMEDIATELY killed

uncle ferdinand foreshadowing……………

When annabeth and percy start arguing in the woods and grover tries to change the subject by talking about his uncle and they both completely ignore him. I LOVE GROVER SO MUCH

the bickering in this episode is ON POINT by the way

like the stuff theyre arguing about makes sense. Yes i would be concerned about those things too

ESPECIALLY since theres such a focus put on trust (esp after percy learns that someone is going to betray him) and percy and annabeth are arguing about stuff theyve lied or havent told each other about???? Sorry that might be skipping ahead a bit but GOD is that the good stuff

i love that they changed how the three of them ended up going into auntie em’s because before it was a little concerning that none of them figured out it was medusa. Plus having a fury outside just adds to the tension a perfect amount i think, because it really traps them in there

all the discussion about the gods and what medusa talks to percy about in the kitchen - YES MAKE ME HATE THEM!! All of this is adding up to lukes motivations making so much sense in the end

ALSO!! Them harkening back to sallys line in the first episode when she tells percy that not all heroes look like heroes and not all monsters look like monsters - they brought it back so perfectly. Percy wanting to trust medusa because of what his mom said, medusa calling Poseidon a monster, ALL OF IT is so good

When theyre down in the basement and grover puts on the shoes and then just fucking. Flies away and disappears into the darkness yelling a little. and annabeth and percy just kind of helplessly watch him go before being like - welp i guess that plans not working. That was peak comedy

them using annabeths hat on medusa and then using it to kill alecto THEY WERE SO SMART FOR THAT!!! Also percy just the invisible severed head was a hilarious concept to me

when percy suggests burying the hat in the ground with the hat on to make sure no one bad finds it and annabeth just!!! Agrees!!! And then grover has to be like no that hats important to her its a gift from her mother!!! And then percys like well we’ll find another solution then. That whole scene was good yes i liked that

also annabeth revealing that grover was her protector too and percy asks about it and grover just changes the subject and doesnt answer. He is the KING of avoidance

also grover finally interrupting annabeth and percy when they start fighting and giving his whole speech about getting along. That wouldve felt a little cheesy and preachy and out of place from anyone else but considering grover tried to get them to sing the consensus song a few hours earlier i fully believe that he would say that

I AM IMPERTINENT

Why the fuck wasnt there a lin manuel maranda jumpscare warning. I couldve used one of those

but actually all the jokes in this episode were so on point. Like percy calling drachmas chuckie cheese tokens. And him arguing about voting on the bus. Anyways

10/10 episode i will be rewatching like eight times before next tuesday.

[ultimateloserboy]

duck and red guy are not good people.

ive probably said this a million times already but friendly reminder that they’re incredibly grey. they ruin their own lives just as much as the house does it for them, not to mention how theyre responsible for most of the turmoil in yellows life. duck especially loves with his entire heart, but that doesnt stop him from being a piece of shit.

a lot of you watch the series with this idea that the main three are poor innocent babies trapped and helpless when actually, if there was anywhere else to go (which its implied there isnt) red and duck would never fuckin get there because theyre too selfish and stupid to make it.

becky and joe said themselves in a QnA that yellow made it up the stairs alone because red and duck are just too cynical and selfish to ever make it anywhere. the second yellow started heading down the stairs it was over for him, because red and duck will NEVER listen. they want answers but are too stubborn to ever receive them. The house could be unlocked completely and theyd keep themselves there

Not to mention how they treat each other. they either enable each others shitty behavior, or give up on trying to stop each other. red starts to get onto duck for his behavior towards yellow, but then he joins in to make fun of him multiple times. because he doesnt actually care that much, and that apathy can make him cruel

i think a lot of you forget that even as they are normally, even on the regular floor— not even being bigger boys— they DROWNED THEIR FUCKING CAT!!!!!!!!

and they did it together, is what gets me. theyre codependent. theyre all the other really has, the only other adult really to talk to. they completely disagree on everything, having the opposite worldview of each other which causes them to argue constantly— but theyre all the other has. the only one as shitty as themself. they get stuck with each other in the bigger rooms. growing grotesque together, ruining themselves TOGETHER. they get farther apart. they speak to each other less. they torture smaller things for entertainment rather than talking with each other— but theyre still stuck together. glued to each others hip until the world stops spinning, but always being too cowardly and stubborn to be kind to one another and let themselves be happy together.

even when they reach clarity, or they hit an arc that makes them better people— theyll just forget tomorrow, and go right back to being terrible.

theyre not helpless. sure theyre victims, but not perfect ones— and they themselves have victims of their own

and dont even get me started on the mischaracterization of red in this fandom. YES hes just as bad as duck!!! hes not a fucking baby hes a grown ass man!!! he says the same shit as duck all of the time and yall see it differently cuz his voice is nicer to hear or he says it quieter. and may i add— he can be socially awkward and still an asshole. he can be neurodivergent and still an asshole. it doesnt cancel out, you dont have to pick one or the other.

yall take everything interesting out of these characters so you can make them sexymen but to me the sexiest part is the nuance of the character. duck and red are assholes but that doesnt make them unlikable, the show itself proves that. theyre incredibly likeable but still do terrible shit, and yall forget BECAUSE of how likeable they are.

this isnt meant to be some post to make you think theyre bad people that you should hate because thats bullshit. theyre not good people but theyre not overall bad people either. their actions are terrible but at the end of the day they can and have been better, even if only temporarily. there is a part of them that could easily fit into a happy family— a part of them that can heal each other instead of hurt each other. but unfortunately thats the part thats always erased

(little edit i dont know if they explicitly drowned their cat BUT its implied they did kill it. sorry two-three years of piecing my own shit together i lose which parts ive determined myself. dont wanna sit here and just say my own theories as fact tho, so the drowning specifically was just my guess! sorry abt that chat i hope u still trust me with canon cries)

[hyewka]

or can u suggest any txt fic here (preferably the long ones w chapters) that u enjoyed?

sorry for the extremely extremely late reply but i’ll list some long fics + txt series’s that ive enjoyed with some comments attached to each one. spoiler alert, a completed txt series is pretty hard to find lol

series

lover = lo$er (sub!gyu, virgin fic)

it would be easy to just straight up recommend every @/wildernessuntothemselves series and i might just succumb to that later on but this is pure submissive beomgyu heaven, served as my first real awakening and i would probably attribute most of my sub gyu writing to this fic alone. 10/10, has a love triangle bit and beomgyus kind of insane

criminal conscience (dom!gyu, crime au)

on the other side of the spectrum, this is pussy clenching dom beomgyu goodness and i dont think it gets better than this. the writing is so compelling it fully immerses you in the narrative, even im getting sucked in to beomgyu’s manipulation (whats new really), blaring red flags and all. its currently on hiatus though but i would catch up either way beomiracles is a pretty consistent writer, she’d probably pick it up sooner or later :)

mosquito (soobin)

sorry this is going to be all over the place lol but this is also still ongoing (its only two parts in) but this writer is absolutely insane. narrative feels fleshed out and though it mainly follows soobin’s perspective and feelings, i am quite enjoying it so far. it has some idol x idol action as well, not the main focus of course but it is written in detail

one way (dom!beomgyu, themes of sadism)

this ones a three parter and its completed. by the same writer mentioned previously (soobrat), very very good storytelling, keeps you on your toes and has a hold on your emotions but like mentioned, it has a bit of an extremity in the smut and it is undeniably toxic but its good

sneaky link (dom yeonjun, the other woman trope)

i havent read this in a while but i remember staying up all night reading all of it lol. i would probably not recommend this to people who really cant read infidelity since thats what the fic is based around but it isnt cast in a very favorable light anyway. really toxic, seriously good

fuck you series (sub gyu, enemies to lovers, band au)

its really cute and the e2l set up is believable enough since theyre band rivals. beomgyu is so so so cute in this even if a little insufferable to mc lol. i would also recommend fairyofshampgyu’s now live series but its currently on an indefinite hiatus (its sooo good as well though so if youre willing, you should check it out)

nabi (best friends to lovers beomgyu, no smut)

two parts in, not completed but im following it currently and god i love them together their dynamic is soooo fun to read, you wont get bored

jerk! (enemies to lovers, beomgyu fic, no smut)

its another band au and its also ongoing. there isnt a consistent update schedule so that might be a minus but the most recent chapter was from a month ago so its safe to say it hasnt been left in the dust (thank god). very very good writing, excited to see how their relationship takes off

bullying choi soobin (sub soobin)

submissive soobin and its good, of course im recommending this. its finished and a 4 parter

sugar (dom!yeonjun, dom!gyu)

unfortunately probably forever incomplete but i love it and i might actually go back to reading it for the third time

let me into your world (non smut beomgyu series)

i havent read a soulmate premise in sooo long so this was refreshing to read, good stuff

supermodel (dom gyu and sub i believe)

its just. Amazing. a two parter but a goodie

the city that never sleeps (bsf smut)

also two parts but both parts are pretty long, really good stuff

ok for the life of me i cannot find this one huening series where he was getting bullied by reader and they were secretly fucking?? that one was literally perfect submissive men shit so if you find it if youve struck gold

long full fics (6k+)

telepathy (fantasy, dom!gyu)

a little out of the box compared to all the fics ive recommended so far and thats what makes it so special and good

duality (dom!kai)

i actually havent read this one yet but i will soon, i just thought id add it here anyway since i know ill love it

killer instinct (taehyun fic)

very plot heavy and it centers taehyun mainly. i could go ahead and cheat and just list out every single koqabear fic lmao but this ones a gem, very happy i set aside the time to read it

the redemption of choi yeonjun (dom!yj)

im not personally a fan of the trope but when it was originally teased the smut sounded heavenly and honestly, it is. such a good dom yeonjun here but beware hes a little (a lot) mean lol. he changes by the end

like cat and mouse! (sub gyu, inexperienced)

again, worth the reading time investment. i love submissive gyu, he is everything here and more

love love love (sub gyu, royal au)

i have probably read this a total of 30 times

i hate you (enemy!beomgyu, dom beomgyu)

ok sorry im cheating here a bit this isnt long but its so good you should check it out anyway

[whaliiwatching]

distracting

👻If your possibly still taking prompts, could I suggest something where they first meet at a club? (the universe and level of spiciness is fair game)

Hello nonnie!! I am taking prompts, they take a little while to fulfill is all. In this case, it took me by the hand and ran away, so here is first name basis on ao3!

[asliceofzosan]

i've seen figure skater sanji and hockey player zoro before. idk if its been explored but i'd love to put it out there:

hockey player sanji (specifically goalie bc he desperately wants to avoid being checked) and then pairs skater zoro.

pairs skater zoro's long time partner has been nami. though many people ship them together a Lot, they just know each other super well. Well enough to try dating and both of them realized they don't swing that way. in fact, it makes them a really good team. they fought long and hard to claim top spots in competitions because they portray a chemistry that's separate from the rest. plus zoro can carry nami like she weighs fucking nothing. so their lifts are so much more dynamic. they even have a whole next to impossible combination that they're trying to get the ISU to name after them officially.

sanji plays for the East Blue Straw Hats in the Grand Line Hockey League – a formidable rookie group that took down lots of big names in the preseason. they want to make it all the way to the postseason playoff finals but always seem to fall short. but theyre so determined. they reignited a lot of old sparks that were no longer there for old fans and brought in new and curious fans. sanji is the starter goalie and a damn good one at that. it makes sense bc goalies are often doing splits on the ice just to make a save. he's perfected the technique that utilizes just his legs to make saves that make the crowd go fuckin insane.

we have the usual "i booked the rink to practice before you did" trope but a little more spice. in actuality, sanji loves watching pairs skating competitions. his favorite pair rn is franky and robin (mostly for robin). and he adamantly does not want to admit to anyone that he watches zoro and nami's routines much more frequently. (and if anyone asks, he always says its bc of nami. its never just bc of nami.) and zoro's besties with luffy so he always watches their matches even if he barely understands the rules. and he definitely does not stare at a certain blond starter goalie most of the match thats fucking ridiculous

one day zoro and sanji are invited to do one of those comparison videos between hockey players and figure skaters. both get to laugh at the other even Attempting to do their sport. zoro frankly looks ridiculous in all of sanji's usual goalie get-up. and sanji couldn't land an euler to save his life. the video producer suggests they try a simple pairs skating routine. sanji is like "oh i couldn't do that–hEY WHAT THE FUCK MOSSHEAD PUT ME DOWN" because zoro lifted sanji and had him sat on his shoulder like it was normal.

zoro smirks, "you might be lighter than nami, actually. wanna be my new partner?"

sanji knees him in the stomach before skating away while blushing so hard he could melt the ice beneath him.

[literalite]

mistki's the land is inhospitable and so are we (2023)!! as edits featuring mine and some of my friends ocs 😁 had a lot of fun with this project... rough explainer of how/why each song corresponds to each character/s under the cut because i love symbolism and talking! sorry it is long

bug like an angel - sapphire

without spoiling too much of her story and arc... sapphire's life is not easy. she's hurt by people she cares for and who care for her, although inadvertently, and in turn hurts people who she cares for and who cared for her, also not by her own volition. it's kind of a terrible truth that you will harm and be harmed by the people you love, even when you and they truly don't want to. it's up to you how much you're willing to take and deal. you can't keep every promise you make and you can't right every wrong. but you have to keep trying anyway. that's sapphire's strength, and the core of her goodness and why i personally consider her one of my favourite ocs. i chose to depict bug like an angel in mitski's more positive interpretation here and in that light i think it works best for saph

buffalo replaced - heiya

well first and foremost the vibes of the song fits heiya perfectly fhgjk but also lyricism and tone... yep. quick breakdown of heiya's background since i doubt i'll ever be able to do it properly she's an interesting character for me because she like a lot of my other characters has lost. everything. she had a wife and a child and they were both killed and she had to leave her home again and again and unlike how some of my others would have taken this she has never flagged in her unwavering dedication to preserving hope. for herself for her people for the future etc etc. which is a very fucking difficult thing to do! the world changes faster than you can keep up with it sometimes but for heiya she will not let herself tire and be swept away in it all. people rely on her. she's a guiding star as much as she is a woman. she's a lover and a fighter and thats what buffalo replaced means to me! so

heaven - vinny and caleb

i feel like of all my oc couples so far they have like. the sweetest most kind of simply mutually trusting dare i say straight forward love. they just love each other so much and thats all. the world could end around them when theyre together and it'd be okay truly. also yeah vinny is ostensibly in heaven now bye angel i feel like this one was pretty self explanatory. me and who WHEN

i don't like my mind - sunny

he just like me fr (said in denji voice) anyways wow ha. unstoppable unending guilt due to past actions that haunt your every waking moment? throwing yourself into any and all distraction just to take your mind off it, filling your time with other shit so that past sin doesnt for once echo in your awful and hollow brain? this song is perfect for sunny honestly just that sentiment also the "please don't take this job from me".... sometimes the coping is worse. you can be proud of something because you can do it better than anyone else even if that thing is terrible

the deal - wolfgang munch by @gunthermunch

Wolfgang Amadeus Munch. umm this will make more sense later on but it still kind of makes sense now i think. he doesn't want to be himself he keeps . leaving and moving and running away from his own memories his own self in reaction to others. if he could pawn it all off he would. if he could be better in an instant without having to feel every agonising second of change he would! but thats not how the world works. or is it. read munch by gunthermunch thats an order

when memories snow - lilian

i feel the older you get the more your past kind of swells up and trails behind you... at least for lilian that is shes very linked to the different versions of the girl/young woman she used to be. for her its a double edged blade, a lot of her own strength is drawn from who she was and what happened to her throughout her life. they haunt her but she's haunting it back in her own way

my love mine all mine - saige, bellona, ari

stares you down okay so usage of this song very much almost verges into spoiler territory but uhm. uhm. starts twitching basically the whole dynamic here is . sometimes when you love you will sacrifice. and while that is usually a good thing sometimes it is not but sometimes it still is. sometimes you pay your dues for love and sometimes someone else has to pay for your love as well. and whether that is worth it to them remains to be seen. but it's all about love still. whether that's a worthy cause is up to you i suppose

the frost - yoshiki and hikaru from hikaru ga shida natsu

fun fact (or not so fun fact since i had it listed as such) this slot was originally meant to be taken up by a gojo/geto edit and while it still works for them frighteningly well i swerved to do another black and white haired doomed gay pairing gfhjkl; i really recommend yall to read hikaru ga shinda natsu/the summer that hikaru died because honestly it speaks for itself! it's SO good i love it so bad

star - ari and luca by @anjitrait

wow these two did not deserve the horrors the narrative (me) slammed down onto their heads. they're kind of the most married of all time to me but like of course under pressure even the strongest most loving of bonds will warp. they've been together for roughly a decade and a half now. they know and love each other as totally as you could possibly imagine. despite it all i am yours, no matter. are we picking up what i'm putting down chat

i'm your man - nayef and sióar by @lucidicer

after the album dropped like at least 3 people swung into my dms with a ?this you?? about this song which. i mean the fucking dogs that start barking halfway through the song. are you kidding me. but anyways sioyef and devotion. sioyef and putting yourself in your lover's hands and looking to them like they are a god. this is super self explanatory. you know

i love me after you - redacted and ophelia

HM.... all i'll say here is that sometimes the homoerotic tension filled high school friendship where both parties have something very wrong with them but in totally different directions can be. scarring. bad. sometimes love just isn't enough when you don't know what you're meant to do with it and when you've lived in survival mode all your life. but that once the dust clears you can scrape yourself off the ground get up keep going and that isn't gonna be the end for you there. or for love, even. sometimes shit just ain't meant to be and thats ok

[walnutcookie]

I desperately want to know your thoughts on ReflectiveDetective with this

GOUGHHHH OK. FUCK. Cracks knuckles. thank you for this GHAHHAHA i always love yappimg abt these two

What draws them together?

i think that what draws them together is also the thing that drives them apart. Theyre both playing this character of someone whos perfect and flawless out of a desire for love and attention but in different ways (glisten tries to flaunt everything he can while rodger tries to be cool and mysterious and secretive bla bla ive talked abt this before this is just summary GDBKFJF). I think it takes glisten a long time to really realize that theres more to rodger than meets the eye... hes mostly just scared of the guy and is too paranoid to imagine he has insecurities too GSVJDHD but after they start getting closer he starts to see some similarities ..... probably doesnt realize just how alike they are until rodger actually opens up and talks about it. Rodger has always known - just from his own observations ofc and his Nosiness but glisten has also vented to him quite a bit because hes a bit too good of a listener

its comforting to know that theres someone like them. they can look at each other and know that theyre not alone in what theyre dealing with but also its terrifying in a way because Dear Godge someone else knows what theyre going through... they cant even fake anything around each other anymore because the other will know its a lie. And now theyre both paranoid that the other will eventually lose interest because they finally see that theyre worthless and boring (they wont)

What stands in the way?

same answer as before LOLL. i think def rodger is the biggest problem here though his ass does NOOOT communicate. glisten isnt the best with communication either but rodger is worse. i think theyre both a little scared to open up to each other too and be in such a vulnerable state but at least glisten has a mindset of "he alreayd knows me inside and out so idgaf he knows anyways" rodger is still clinging to Oh God ive gotta make myself look cool otherwise he'll hate meeee[acts distant and makes glisten think he fucking hates him] Rodger just. sends soo many mixed messages and it stresses glisten the hell out. and even beyond that glisten still feels like he doesnt truly know who rodger is... he asks so many questions and yet dodges any question thats asked about himself. It gets frustrating sometimes when glisten has to theorize about whats going on in rodgers head and why hes acting so weird

What are their good traits?

I think theyre both very good listeners :] i think that glisten has relied on rodger as someone he could talk to and get advice from for a long time (based on how toodles says he "cries and complains" to rodger all the time)... rodger has always been able to read him really well and knows EXACTLY what the fuck is up at all times which is, again, absolutely terrifying to glisten because hes left so vulnerable but also comforting. He doesnt know what rodgers intentions are at first or what he thinks of glisten but hes patient and caring which is relieving, especially when glisten doesnt talk abt his issues to anyone else lol . It takes a looonngg time but glisten does eventually get rodger to open up too :] i think glisten very good at cheering people up just in general. Sometime its a bit of a chore for him (referencing the boxten/glisten notes) but hes learned how to listen very well and is great at being a distraction after they get it all out. Even if its just for his reputation hed rather sacrifice a bit of his time and energy to cheer someone up

Describe them with one trope:

opposites attract ? idk theyre too alike for that GDVJDBF im not very good with ship tropes

[hehearse]

hello tumblr user hehearse. another ask BUT this time its NOT torturous song associations! i would just like to ask if you have specific thoughts on jinjae. because theyre SO fucking weird abt each other and they have me in a grip. i would like to know your thoughts on them ^^

GASP branching out aren't we? :D

i think they are incredibly fun. and horrible in their own way.

i love the fact that shj is NOT under yoojin's key word effect and he is Just Like That TM. bear with me for a sec. i was having yet another ted talk with dearest achro juuust recently about them, SO THERE ARE SOME HALF COHERENT THOUGHTS READY

i like how shj being the adult and not under the keyword effect gives some. agency in a way. so you know how yoohyun gets all the love despite him being the way he is. for the price of him moulding his entire being around yoojin? or more like HE decides THAT is the price and the only context for the love to be deserved and a fair trade so to speak. when he breaks the mould, he does not lose the privilege of being loved. he was chosen when he was that way to begin with. and anyway, yoojin gives so much leeway to yoohyun even in the frame of his views on good and bad - because love runs deep, and there are many things he'll let slide or let go, as long as yoohyun - and other kids - are happy.

but shj is an adult, not yoojin's kid. might sound obvious but. that gives him agency to fuck up his relationship with yoojin, and he actively chooses not to do it when he moves to the "partner" stage!! (because hyunje very clearly was feeling out the boundaries in the beginning, wasn't he? pushing and pushing and poking the rot until yoojin cracked. and what a surprise that was huh. huh, shj?? he stopped after that. the lines established (by him) and he was not. entirely happy about what he saw, even if incredibly intrigued)

additionally. there is something to say about the playful lines they draw. yoojin has his pride and wants to at least APPEAR strong even when he is struggling. and in places where yoohyun or yerim would fluster him with excessive care and worry, shj gives him enough space to pretend for a bit. even if they both know he's lying. he lies himself too, to save yoojin his pride, doesn't he? the "ah, it's just my whims" attitude? isn't it easier to accept the lavish gifts and such when it's not personal? might just use since he is clearly an eccentric rich s class, right? (that shoots them both in the foot with yoojin feeling insecure, like shj can drop him at any point in time, but that's different story)

plus! plus!! the thrill of biting back at someone so powerful. the excitement of toying with the guy everyone feels threatened by. ^^ (and of course the fun of peeling of perfect appearance and seeing this sung hyunje who doesn't eat bread crusts, likes fishing and being annoying and playing into jokes and is SO good at it he catches on instantly, just give him an opening. a secret persona. makes you feel special, doesn't it?)

while love for yoojin seems natural (oh yoojin. the most guy ever. gah.), sung hyunje too. makes adjustments to win points. like with him treating yerim seriously, him taking in account yoohyun's possessiveness when proposing giving only one of his eyes to blind yoojin (because you know. yoohyun would be unhappy if he didn't get a chance to give his eye to his hyung. and he is his hyung's number one. so shj can't not take it into account - he likes his place number two after all).

ANYWAY. i think yoojin needs an Adult TM who won't necessarily break apart without him. but who would still like to have him around and let yoojin bully him a bit as a treat. and sung hyunje needs someone who can not only tolerate his nasty personality up close, but would ALSO bite back without a fear of retribution. makes life more fun that way. i suppose you can say they both need someone who would entertain their bullying but not leave or get scared or break apart. ^^

[angstics]

3.3k words summarizing queliot if you've never seen the magicians. or if youve seen it and you want to indulge in my insane criticisms. lord touch his mind

okay so the magicians was a tv show about a bunch of post grads learning magic in magic university then discovering that the fantasy world from a kids book series was actually real and the Beast of that world was out to get them. WHO GIVES A FUCK. the crazy people were focused on the relationship btwn main character quentin coldwater (depressed, heart on his sleeve, surprise sex maniac who is new to magic and loves those books) and gay best friend eliot waugh (substance addicted (big surprise!!), gay trauma, named after evelyn waugh oh you know…) they form a friendship and it’s weirdly touchy and close. eliot keeps trying to seduce quentin but it’s never serious. i dont even think quentin notices. anyone remember the “lets not talk” scene? he was about to fuck that sad man. anyway this tension was actually fulfilled by the end of the 1st season with a drunk threesome including the two and their best friend margo. they at least kiss and cuddle and MAYBE sucked dick if the ghost of his girlfriend who haunts him later is to be believed (which i do #cockinhismouthsunday).

at this time articles that were like “THIS SIFI SERIES IS PROUDLY BISEXUAL” were coming out which. lol. lmfao! quentin never had any sort of queer identity. not even a hint of it. the homophobia of the show started with the regurgitation of the “sad drunk lonely sex-crazed” gay man trope with eliot, then the “everyone is fluid but no one actually has same sex attraction” trope, THEN by sidelining and killing off almost every gay or trans character, THEN THE QUENTIN THING. and the quentin thing turned people insane. let’s see why.

so after the threesome, eliot and quentin continue having a good friendship. there is some tension that isnt present with margo which sure is a choice… but it is resolved by a heartfelt crowning ceremony nd hug. oh theyre kings of the magic land now btw. eliot and q are pretty much separate from this point on xcept for certain episodes/moments. it is strange they dont have any storylines together. but love finds a way. at some point a version of eliot sacrifies himself for quentin. if u look at the scene it is on instinct it is crazy. then they reunite at the end of s2 but it’s all business really. the show was really involved w its nonsense plot.

anyway season 3. hahaha. so like i said theyre separate most of the show past s1. this is true in this season xcept for episodes 305 and 313 (with some notable moments in between). the plot of this season is that they have to go on quests to collect keys. the creature that gives eliot this plot calls quentin his “brother of the heart”. ok! when they see each other for the first time in a while in 304, they hug in a very sweet way :) look at this photo from bts during that scene :) i have it framed

after a series of other quests, 305 turns out to be the Eliot and Quentin quest! finally a story with the two! the quest is for the “time key”, which is fabled to be given to whoever solves the mosaic puzzle in fillory (magic world). the puzzle? they have to arrange 100s of tiles in a way that depicts “the beauty of all life”. quentin is very excited about it. eliot is happy to hear him infodump. they eventually get pushed into fillory to solve the mosaic. turns out they were also sent DECADES in the past. there might have been a way out but they were dead-set on solving the mosaic and getting their key. so they get to work. they live in a cottage attached to the mosaic and they spend hours, days, months on it. just the two of them and the mosaic. this episode is called “a life in a day” which is so perfect you wonder why the writing couldnt be that good within the show.

at the 1 year anniversary, quentin kisses eliot. and eliot kisses him back. and you wonder woah what does this mean?! well keep wondering girl because this tv show does not care to explore any of that. it chugs on and eliot and q fight about “living their lives there” and quentin gets a Wife and has a child with her and then she DIES (leaving her as a narrative incubator rather than an actual character, which is very in line with the sexism of the show). and they grow up and decades pass and the child grows old enough to leave and it seems eliot co-parented him but (again) the tv show doesnt care to show you that. and this whole time theyre working on the mosaic. years and years. eventually they grow old. it’s just the two of them. until eliot dies. quentin goes to bury him in the mosaic plot and he finds a special little tile. he places it in the mosaic. he gets the key. the puzzle is solved. “the beauty of all life”. but quentin is alone. his life companion is gone. and that’s the last we see of him.

we go back in time til before they enter fillory. their friend stops them and she has the key through time shenanigans and they never live that timeline. UNTIL!!!!! they do. they remember it all. what does decades (50 yrs btw) of living happily together mean for them?!? FUCK ALL APPARENTLY!!!! because the next episode (306 if yr keep track) they mention it ONCE AND NEVER AGAIN. and there is so much beneath the surface with the looks and the line that mentions it (“go be life partners with someone else” eliot says jokingly in a manner that shouldve been the catalyst to quentin’s magic-induced suicide spiral later that episode).

ok quentin does mention it once more to his dying dad. but nothing about his Male Life Partner Of Fifty Years. Nothing. they dont even talk about it with their best friends, leading one to believe they just kept it a secret . which. okay.

okay. so theyre apart til the last episode of the season. and quentin decides to sacrifice himself by locking himself in a cage with a monster for all of eternity. he says the quest prepared him for it which is yikesss. eliot refuses. but quentin insists. they travel to the prison (he gets back together with his gf during this trip btw they had been apart that season after some shit. one of their worst writing decisions i hate this stupid ass cockroach relationship). quentin almost exchanges himself. then eliot shoots the monster. dooming them all.

so the monster doesnt die. instead he possesses eliot. and that becomes the story for season 4. at first quentin and co think eliot is dead. and it’s devastating lol. an interesting thing is that the monster was so. touchy with quentin. unbearably so. it’s such a perverse reflection of eliot’s touch. which is sorta pointed out by quentin in this quote (paraphrase) “i know it’s not eliot. but he has his face and his eyes…”

anyhow 405. hahahahahaha. so this episode it’s revealed eliot is alive but trapped in his own head. and to get out for a moment and tell his friends he’s alive, he needs to confront his most terrible most shameful memory. the whole episode is him trying to figure out what it is. meanwhile, quentin and co are setting up a plan to kill the monster. and quentin breaks up with his gf (lol). in a deleted scene that WAS shown in promo they argue about the monster. and quentin says “im team eliot”. lol

anyhow, eliot’s hit a dead end. he cant figure the worst thing that’s happened in his life. then his memory of quentin (theyve been hangin out) says he’ll “sacrifice” himself if he had to. eliot smiles and says “i know youre just a memory… but youre a very generous one.” and quentin says— (im reciting this from memory btw all of this has been from 4 years of NON STOP thinking about it) quentin says “well you sacrifice for the people you love” and he gives eliot a VERY pointed look. and then it dawns on eliot. and the guilt is instantly palpable.

hahahahha. hahaha. hahahahahaha. okay so eliot goes to the memory he knows is the worst thing he’s ever done. his most traumatic memory, after a lifetime of violent homophobia and bad choices. the person possessed before him described this memory as being “the day he left home”.

the memory? the day they remembered their past lives. did it happen? fifty years. it happened.

theyre sat under a wedding arch (that was the b plot of the episode lol). it’s beautiful. eliot watches the memory play out, standing in front of the seated figures. the guilt. the guilt.

outside, the tension is building. the plan to kill the monster is in motion. quentin has to coax him to a certain spot. he has to look at him as he kills his best friend.

eliot doesnt know this but he gets anxious watching it play out. there is a certainty that this is it. the first time viewer has no idea whats going on. we never saw the direct aftermath of them remembering. we always assumed there wasnt anything.

well a year after 305 aired, a yr after thinking THAT WAS IT, they recontextualize Everything.

it is worth saying here that in the promo interviews leading up to season 4, quentin’s and eliot’s actors were sussing it UP. quentin’s at some point talks on q’s queerness, saying it was the one aspect of his life he didnt feel anxious about.

well

what happens is that quentin asks eliot for a relationship. remember how it was quentin who first kissed eliot? it happens again. heart on his fucking sleeve. i can recite this scene pretty well so im going to fucking do it:

did it happen? fifty years. it happened. it was sort of beautiful. it really was. i know this is gonna sound dumb but … us. i mean we work. we know it cause we lived it. who gets that proof of concept? (eliot smiles uneasily) we just got injected with fifty years of memories so i get that youre not thinking clearly. no im just saying… what if we gave it a shot, would that be so crazy? (eliot looks down, worried and thoughtful. quentin smiles RADIANTLY it is BLINDING) why the fuck not?

editors opinion: quentin is such a beautiful person. to be so truthful about something so scary is unthinkable. especially in context of him being so hopelessly and quietly in love his childhood best friend, and his whirlwind romance with previously mentioned gf, and all the tragedy he endured with these two. but this is someone who loves with his whole heart. what was he supposed to do? contain it?

then eliot hardens.

i know you and you arent… whats the matter? dont be naive it matters. (pause) q i love you but… that isnt me and that definitely isnt you. not when we have a choice. (quentin looks away. he wipes his eye) oh. okay. sorry.

and silence. the real eliot, the eliot who isnt the memory, looks on. tired and angry, he speaks to himself:

what the hell is wrong with you? what the hell are you doing? someone Good and True… Loves you. yeah it was a little crazy but you knew. you knew this truly mattered. and you just SNUFFED IT OUT.

then he looks to the memory of quentin. soft as the clouds:

q. im sorry. i was afraid. and when im afraid i run away.

then he kisses him. and he hits you with the thesis of the episode:

if i ever get out of here q… know that when im braver it cause i learned it from you.

well

thats his most traumatic memory. he is granted passage to consciousness. what is the first thing he sees? quentin. the real quentin.

q? (smiles) q (laughs) it’s me. it’s eliot. ok come on no games. it’s eliot. i said no games. (eliot looks around, worried as all hell) fifty years (he walks towards q) who gets proof of concept like that? what? peaches and plums motherfucker (this is the symbol to their mosaic life) im alive in here. (eyes as wide as saucers, heart in his throat) eliot…

and he ruins their plans of killing the monster. “eliot’s alive.”

then the episodes keep rolling. “eliot eliot eliot. why do you care so much about him?” “because i do.” and “wow i love that plan. except the part where it doesnt save eliot.” quentin gets back with his gf for reasons only the devil knows. but fine ok whatever quentin and eliot will HAVE to talk post-saving. even if the writers ignore it once more they have some kind of relationship. and they do save eliot in the finale! you know who they dont save? lmfao

quentin dies. in a manner that many including myself found weird and unsatisfactory and suicidal. and he never gets to know how eliot feels. never. he’s just gone. their story means nothing 💯

editors note: this ending broke me. i was using the show as a depression crutch, so a fate so hopeless ruined me. cant blame the show for my mistake but being so technically bad certainly didnt help.

well when the show came back for its next (and final lol) season, they did attempt closure for eliot and quentin. for some reason this was all contained in 3 episodes, most of it in the third (503) but what the fuck ever. it has its moments.

the episode is basically about eliot and alice (q’s gf i dont think ive mentioned her name. sorry alice) going on a mini quest up a treacherous mountain for grievers to return a piece of quentin’s soul back to the underworld. their fights are soooo funny. toxic lover vs almost-lover.

alice at some point says “well he was MY boyfriend this is MY pilgrimage and you just TAGGED ALONG” and (blood obviously boiling) eliot goes “right, because he meant nothing to me”. and this highlights something so sneakily homophobic about this whole affair. quentin and eliot’s relationship never mattered to the narrative as much as all the other straight relationships, especially quentin and alice’s. like i said, they would separate for entire seasons. you will be happy to know that not 1 episode goes by without quentin and alice conflicting and making up conflicting and etc. i dont understand how quentin and eliot’s relationship wasnt important enough. they were best friends, they kissed multiple times and had sex AT LEAST once if the mosaic subtext isnt considered. and the mosaic… it isnt just that they lived together for 50 yrs and raised a child and were happy, something they couldnt quite grasp in their old lives… they achieved the beauty of all life. that is a monumental achievement that shouldve changed not only their lives, but their stories.

the thing about the confession is that it wasnt planted in s3. talking about 405, the writers said they came up with it while working on that episode. it was essentially a retcon. though its inclusion explains why they didnt talk about it literally, it doesnt excuse the narrative outright ignoring it. it DEFINITELY doesnt account for why it ignored the rest of the SAME SEASON it was ESTABLISHED IN. if this was quentin and alice, they would be talking about it nonstop. and guess the fuck what when they get back together it is *non stop*.

SO. 503. they are on their pilgrimage. tensions build. eliot hallucinates quentin’s voice (it’s a soundbite from the mosaic when eliot dies which is depressing). they meet another traveller who is grieving his long dead boyfriend.

the traveller asks who theyre grieving and alice goes My Boyfriend and eliot looks away and says he knew him as a friend and it’s so sad it makes me want to die. why did they invent new exciting ways for gay people to be ashamed of who they love. i hate this show.

anyway the traveller talks about his boyfriend and how he was a magician who died young and how his dreams were haunted by him. and eliot is listening so intensely you want to jump hale appleman for being so good at this acting thing. alice goes to sleep and leaves the two alone. then they really start talkin:

(the traveller asks) have you ever had love? (eliot smiles small, hesitant) love…? yeah love. (pause) the friend we’re putting to rest. (traveller is delightfully shock) wasnt just a friend.

truly truly truly cant describe to you how much it physically pains me that it took 2 seasons and for one of them to die and a conversation with a stranger to get to this point. why wasnt this always part of the narrative. why does this only matter now after 2 yrs of fans badgering you about why this isnt part of the fucking show despite BEING PART OF THE FUCKING SHOW! it is dead obvious this was never the intent so even with something that should feel right feels wrong because the show never wanted it. it never wanted quentin to be in love with eliot. but it doesnt make sense if he isnt. i hate this show.

the convo continues ��:

does she know? oh god no. a torrid secret affair. (eliot looks away) no, nothing like that.

and i wish eliot was given a proper story. i wish i knew what was going on in his head through all of this. i wish i wish.

so it is revealed that quentin and eliot “had love” and that eliot is keeping it a secret (a revelation considering they werent intimate on screen past the 1 yr anniversary, they were only ever referred to as best friends by cast and crew, AND even what they were was obscured in the confession scene. and their feelings didnt matter past 405 fuck this world). this is huge. it should be huge. eliot’s first arc is about how he cant fall in love until he does and gets his heart broken. quentin’s stories are so wrapped up in alice that having another love interest should complicate that entirely. it doesnt.

the climax of the episode is when eliot expresses difficulty of letting go of quentin and alice says “he was your friend” and eliot replies (quick as if not meaning to) “he wasnt just my friend.” and wowww. how cathartic. the first time in the history of the show they talk about it. 5 seasons btw.

and eliot tells her about the mosaic and how “we loved each other for a really really long time.” and how he told him to fuck off and how he died for him and how he was never able to talk to him again. he just died.

and that part is supposed to be cathartic too. it feels cathartic for eliot the character at least. but to me the Viewer. i was sick of how they were trying to appeal to MY thoughts of what he should be feeling. as if trying to placate me. cuz if it was soo important it wouldnt just been solved after this episode. he DGAF about quentin after this. i dont get it. why cant they write a proper story.

well one line that stuck with me and i truly felt was this:

alice: he was pretty in love with you eliot: i wouldnt say that alice: .. i would

and then eliot looks at her the most devastated a man can look.

thats it. that’s quentin and eliot. a heartfelt and final fuck this show. the fic goes crazy esp the 2019 shit.

[moonlit-dreamers]

Can you rate all Eclipse ships?

*rubs my grubby hands together* i abso-fuckin-lutely can

the lower they go doesnt mean "i despise it" (unless specified) its just that i dont find it interesting/dont personally ship it/never think about it. this also wont include poly ships bc then i just Wouldnt Stop. btw im not gonna edit this so if some shit is typed wrong then uh . sucks ig hjgfjhfh

eclipse/solar - 10/10 - nothing could be better than this. this is my otp above sun/eclipse. nothing can be improved upon bc it is perfect. learning to love urself by loving another version of urself? SIGN 💥 ME 💥 UP 💥

eclipse/sun - 10/10 - second thing i ever shipped (first was sun/solar <3) and its stuck with me ever since. enemies to lovers. wonderful. scrumptious

lord eclipse/sunvant - 10/10 i say this counts to be added to the list bc i fucking can. theyre also my otp. toxic codependency. sunvant having pure blind devotion to lord eclipse despite everything hes done to hurt him? GHOD

eclipse/sunbeam - 8/10 - grumpy cat x golden retriever. or maybe a yorkie with how much sun yaps ghdfghfgh. he'd probably act so fucking annoyed with how much sunbeam yaps but in reality he actually pays attention to all of it bc despite how little of it makes sense its actually entertaining

eclipse/moonshine - 8/10 - theyre nerds that kiss each other. they work on games and random projects together. theyre wonderful

eclipse/ruin - 8/10 - okay im actually writing these out of order and i was almost done THEN FUCKING FORGOT THIS. toxic yaoi at its finest. while ruin is still forcing eclipse to work for him he gets Silly™️ and just goes "i can do whatever i want and nobody will stop me" and ofc he does. if that includes torture or messing with him until his mind breaks then thats up to you. would this be accurate to canon ruin? absolutely not. do i care? fuck no <3

eclipse/dark sun - 7/10 - ADDING THIS IN EDITING BC I WAS FUCKING STUPID AND FORGOT THEM OTL. this the good shit. toxic yaoi. i have thoughts but theyre all gone rn idk wtf happened to them so imagine i made a shitty summary of a fucked up scenario

eclipse/old moon - 7/10 - gwuh creator/creation beloved. idk man. it could either be healing and fluff or angst and toxic. you pick <3

eclipse/solarflare - 7/10 - again. creator/creation. im unwell. AND YET ANOTHER COULD BE TOXIC OR FLUFFY. me thinks onesided pining from sf while eclipse is either oblivious or ignores it would be fun. OR they both use it as a chance to explore bc why not :3

eclipse/earth - 6/10 - not my favorite but its good for fluffy shit. idk why but every time i decide to doodle eclipse being flustered its always with earth. she just appears and makes it her job. idk what to do my hands just move on their own

eclipse/nexus - 5/10 - lower than old moon bc i just dont find it as interesting

eclipse/lunar - 5/10 - personally not that interested in it. but if you bring it up in the middle of a conversation another alter WILL come running over. he responds to it faster than his own damn name. ask him and he'd start going OFF.

eclipse/ballora - 4/10 never think about it but it could be fun

eclipse/bloodmoon - 4/10 - think it could be fun. again, could be toxic or fluffy.

eclipse/killcode - 4/10 - yet another "good ship but not personally interested". tho i think it could be fun. giant soft monster x angry small creature

eclipse/puppet - 3/10 - i like it more than puppet/foxy but thats only bc its eclipse added. i just. i dont like puppet. shes getting better but for a while she was SO annoying to me and i just. my opinion is tainted 😔

eclipse/vincent - 2/10 - i can see it? maybe? who fuckin knows lol

eclipse/anyone else - 1/10 - im just lumping everyone else into one thing so i dont go on forever. basically just the "never thought about it and probably wont continue thinking about it" ships

[wassupmygays]

yap about ur headcanons about the socs pls!!

heheeh okay some misc things about the soc guys that have popped into my head throughout the week (im sorry this is so long)

EDIT: ok ive put it all under the cut bc it got so long but i do yap a little bit about each soc guy so please read hehe :)

Chet

chet and his family moved from california when he was in 3rd grade. his first friend in town was one sodapop curtis on his little league baseball team

his dad is a cop and wants to advance up the ranks, and his mom wants to make sure they keep up their good social standing, so chet was not friends with soda for long

you know those boys in like 5th grade that crack all the dumb jokes, hit all the door frames, and tease every girl "because he likes her"? thats chet and trip

this is inspired by @/sky4cherry iirc but chet does Nawt get attention at home man. his dad is always busy with work and a little mean (yknow how dads are in the 60s) and his mom is always working on the next social function or trying to appease his dad. anyways he is just always at another soc guy's house just to have someone Talk to him

i think he picks up drinking and smoking, and fighting, for a similar reason to bob: he just wants his parents to fucking notice he's doing something wrong. but theyre high enough now in the social and job spaces that they can just wipe any misdemeanors under the rug

i cant decide if chet is an only child, or if he has like 2 siblings that are way older than him. idk

Trip

terrance dipp is The Exasperated older brother ever. bro did Nawt want a little brother sorry melvin.

anyways unfortunately i do think trip is very much a guy's guy. that boy is Not a good boyfriend to marcia unfortunately :(((((( at least by the time we get to their sophomore year/the show

him and chet can not be sat together in class. they will never shut up or stop hitting each other.

chet broke his arm one time in like 6th grade. trip threatens to break it again at least once a month

ive said this before but ill say it again: trip and melvin are just soc steve and ponyboy. trip is so tired of his kid brother being in all his sports and trying to tag along to everything

that being said, he was looking out for melvin so much during the rumble. he knew their mom would kill him if he brought his brother home all beat up, but also he really really didn't want him to get too hurt.

he Always goes to marcia to patch him up after hes been in a fight. (after the rumble though, him and marcia are on the rocks, and hes got melvin to worry about. so he just sneaks melvin home and tries to clean him up before their mom sees. its actually a sweet bonding moment between them i think)

trip lovesssss verbally poking fun at any greaser in school, especially two-bit. after he realizes two-bit likes marcia, his mean jokes become a lot more threatening

(i do love trip i promise i just also think hes kinda a mean guy. you know the kind of rowdy douche bags in high school im talking about. im so sorry ksco and sean jones i promise i love trip kdjfkdjf)

Brill

clark brillstein i'll be so incredibly honest i dont have much in my brain for him :((( i gotta sit and think more

i do think he has one of the better home lives out of the bunch, and hes got his lovely perfect girlfriend, and hes good at sports, and honestly i think he just. gets tired of everyone thinking hes got it so perfect all of the time. i think maybe thats why he likes all the fighting so much

while he is relatively happy with his life rn, hes tired of being doted on like hes perfect. and also sometimes he sees everyone else's lives being so shitty, he feels likes hes got to pick fights to justify him feeling bad about his lot.

Paul

ohhh im gonna have to hold myself back from talking about him forever. he will get his own post at some point aDKFJDKFJK

anyways. paul holden. the messiest and most scared gay kid in the town of tulsa

i think he and bob literally grew up together. like their parents are Old old friends, so paul and bob have always basically been brothers despite a 2/3 ish year age difference (i dont feel like doing the exact math). i think bev's parents are also in this old friend group, so pauls known her forever too

anyways. he was probably the bob of his friend group in his class, which is why nobody really really protested darry being in their group. but i also think that when he was with darry, paul didnt really care about the whole social friend group of things too much.

contrary to popular belief i dont think paul is the friend-group-leader type. idk if that makes sense and i can yap about it more but.

anyways post-darry breakup paul is a fucking mess. hes sad and angry and those fights that darry was always trying to stop feel so damn good. maybe bob and his buddies are on to something, and bob's dad always has a full liquor cabinet

Bob

obviously we know the most about bob and his home life and inner psyche and reasons for fighting and honestly all of it really resonates in my brain. like yea im keeping all of that

bro has charisma to the max. like he has always been the ringleader of the friend group, even in like 4th grade when all the boys started becoming best buddies

he used to be such a mommas boy. before her praise just became so meaningless.

oh ive just had a revelation. he is an angrier and more resigned buddy aldridge from rotpl. his dad is pulling the strings to make sure his precious son is climbing all the right ladders.

the difference here tho is bob realized this earlier, and that started his spiral into fights and drinking and causing problems. he wanted to see what would finally make his dad stop covering and fixing everything for him. he never found that limit

he knows cherry cant stand the drinking, and i do think he does feel bad about ignoring her feelings about it. but his urge to push back against everything and spit in the face of anyone who tries to tell him how he should be just overpowers. and god everything is more fun when hes boozed up

[doctorwhoisadhd]

the addition of jack would instantly give every 12 team tardis an entirely new different and INCREDIBLY funny dynamic. 12 jack and clara would instantly become 9jackrose 2: This Time Its THE Most Unbelievably Fucked Up Polycule Youve Ever Seen In Your Life Edition. the jealousy from every single damn one of them would make it SO fucking bad for anyone to be around but SO interesting to watch in an "i need to study them" way. 12 and jack alone just after claras departure would be genuinely very charming in an absolutely heartbreaking way because it is hands down the most clear how deeply in love with the doctor jack is but despite this it would still be SO fun to watch and an absolute travesty that we only got one episode of it. AND it would segue unbelievably well into THORS. i dont need to say this we all Know but in any scenario where jack and river are in the same team tardis it instantly becomes THE most bisexual situationship hanging in the balance of how willing the doctor is at any given moment to tolerate both the constant and i mean CONSTANT flirting, with each other and with everyone around them, and the 1 million guns and bombs the two of them have. 12 jack and nardole would become either more tolerable or way more annoying and it all depends on how obvious nardole and jack make it that theyre fucking and how jealous 12 is about this. (12 and jack are also DEFINITELY fucking each other in this scenario and it does not improve 12's jealousy level.) 12 jack bill and nardole would instantly become THE team tardis dynamic of all time. itd be like the breakfast club for queer time travelers. itd be like if "LGBT" was a team tardis. and once you add missy to that dynamic it would instantly go to shit in the funniest and most insane possible way because then youve got TWO DIFFERENT people who have known 12 for about 2000 years and he is NOT normal about it, every single relationship not involving bill is fucked up on like a cosmic scale, jack and missy cant be left alone together because one of them WILL be dead in the most psychosexual way imaginable, bill knows SO much more about 12 because jack would never shut up under any amount of duress and frankly its better this way. its definitely some kind of nightmare blunt rotation but i have no idea for which one of them. every single adventure would either take SO much longer or be solved instantly. bill singlehandedly prevents the sexual tension from being unimaginable constantly. simultaneously the perfect and funniest and best team TARDIS dynamic while also being COMPLETELY intolerable good god

[sisville-v11]

todays the 1 year anniversary of techdogs release, and god. i cant believe its been a year now dude

ive definitely talked about the impact this album left on me here before, but i think i need to like. actually elaborate on that, because techdog had a paw in what would end up being a complete life restructure i went through earlier this year that fundamentally changed the core of who i was. for this post, though, i wanna talk more specifically about techdog itself and what was going through my mind as the parts were dropping & immediately afterwards rather than its aftermath of what it did to me. this is probs gonna be a long post so best to put this read more here (update from future me after i finished this post: i was right its extremely long)

so prior to techdogs release, i already had some familiarity with patricias work cause a friend of mine introduced me to her stuff, and at the time i thought her songs were... pretty cool! i think it was rosa, daylight spectrum, and visiting narcissa i listened to sometimes before this, but it wasnt often and i was still knee-deep in my c418 fixation so she wasnt what i would consider a favorite artist of mine at that time. enter techdog.

i saw she had just uploaded TECHDOG 1, and saw her pinned comment saying it was a 4-part project shed been working on since 2022, and that shed be uploading each new part every day. cool! took a listen through it, thought it was a neat lil collection of tracks but i didnt think too much about it then, it sorta came and went for me.

the next day came and TECHDOG 2 dropped. much like techdog 1, i these tracks sorta came and went for me though i did like them a bit more than techdog 1's, outside of the first one which i found super catchy. i did notice at the time it was a bit longer than techdog 1, but didnt think much of it then.

new day, new techdog. TECHDOG 3 dropped, and it was here that i started noticing the trend of each part being about 20 minutes longer than the last. something else i immediately noticed here is that this album sounded a lot more mature than the first two, but couldnt pin down why exactly i thought that at the time. regardless, i enjoyed it notably more than the first two techdogs.

then TECHDOG 4 dropped and god DAMN was this a good-ass album, at the time it was easily my favorite of the TECHDOGs and also my new favorite album of hers, i absolutely love skillful use of repetition in music and i felt every song in 4 executed it perfectly, so many of the songs in here stick out in my mind even today (especially big mention to tracks 1 and 10... and again just about all the other tracks in here theyre all kickass). so that was that, the techdog series was concluded and she mentioned she would be uploading the compilation of all 4 albums the next day, which i was immediately planning to listen through the entirety of again and i was very much looking forward to it.

and then shit got real.

when shit gets real

TECHDOG 5 dropped to my COMPLETE and utter surprise and it threw me so off guard that i had literally no idea what would be in store with this one. i re-listened to some of techdog 4 to get myself warmed back up before jumping back in and... i was not ready for the tone shift. the pure emotion of these songs. GEGTGEGHGETECETHTOTHCHDHCOCDCODODOD literally sounds like an anxiety attack perfectly translated from emotion into song. SO MANY of these songs are perfect transcriptions of raw negative emotion put into song form, i dont know how the fuck she did that. and the entire progression of the album sounds like youre being pulled deeper, deeper into the negativity and fear and pain and turmoil of your mind, by the time you get to the last track its clear theres no way youre seeing the light anytime soon, only the growing darkness awaits.

(context for those that dont know: excursions is the c418 album that completely reshaped the way i thought about music back in 2020 and my brain latched onto his music extremely hard as a result. and then i realized that was happening again with techdog)

so uh. i think its suffice to say that i was locked in when it came to hearing this series out til the end. and i didnt have long to wait for continuing it, as TECHDOG 6 would drop the next day.

i saw it drop in the morning, and its description immediately stuck with me - "Feeling pain." the feeling of pain being translated into music was something where i had NO clue at all how she couldve possibly executed it, and its something i found myself pondering the entire day until i finally listened to it in the evening. i already wasnt feeling great that day, so i think what happened next only exasperated my emotions further while listening to it.

pain. pain its all pain. of course musical pain would be noise. of course it would sound like garbled noise thats what pain FEELS LIKE. the onslaught of static garble was so intense that i had to take off my headphones and listen to the album through my laptop speakers. for the rest of the albums duration i was just laying on my bed and, letting my ears absorb the musical onslaught this album was bringing forth.

techdog 6 isnt my favorite of the techdogs, but i think its extremely impressive how, once again, patricia was out here translating pure emotion to sound almost to a tee; its pretty clear to me that all of the tracks here emphasize different types of pain one would go through. the first few tracks focus more on physical pain, the type of searing physical pain you'd feel from being horribly beaten up, while the rest sound more akin to mental pain, bubbling mental anguish from being depressed, feeling like a failure because you cant do what comes so easily to others, or... other similarly horrible mental health episodes. both very different types of pain but still unbearable to go through all the same. DODTDODHDODTOGOTOHTETHTGHCHGHEGCGEGCECECEC sounds like desperately trying to convince yourself youre okay when you absolutely arent and youre spiraling about it in a manic state. DEDGDEDCDEDGEOEGECGHGCGOCTCOCHOTOHOTHTHTHT is terrifying, terrifying beyond what my vocabulary can adequately describe it as, the absolute rock bottom that leaves you feeling broken beyond all repair, that there's no way you're escaping this, youre trapped in the pits of hell as the leviathans swarm around you until you finally relent and you need to just give up now.

until... the final track happens. GEGCGEGHGEGCEDECEHCOCHCDHTHDHODTDODTOTOTOT happens.

i was not ready for this song to sound like that. to hit like that. a song so harsh yet so beautiful, blasting tiny rays of sun down through the roaring sea of pain for you to grasp onto and try to free yourself from the pits. a release. its the only song thats ever made me ugly sob, and for 20 minutes at that, its so inexplicably powerful. guys this is still the most beautiful song ive ever heard in my life, i still think this a year after it hit me for the first time. for all techdog relistens after this, i needed to forbid myself from relistening to this song unless i was doing an entire album runthrough from the start, or at least the entirety of the dark side portions, because this is the type of experience you cant ruin with overexposure. this is the type of song you only get the pleasure of experiencing once in a blue moon. likely even less often than that. its just- god. god damn. i cant believe it. i cant believe this song exists

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

the dust clears and TECHDOG 7 reveals itself the next day. patricia made it a point to say that this one was the true final part in the techdog series. i didnt even know if we would get a techdog 7... how the hell could you follow up that last song? in what way are you able to do that?

...with drone, i found out.

i remember i was confused when i first started playing 7 because i heard nothing coming through my headphones at all - thats intentional, as i soon found out. it starts out with nothing, and each track slowly but surely brings things back into focus, back to reality as the hollowness left from the aftermath of the pain starts to be replaced with regular emotion again. different emotion than before, but still, better than emptiness. i dont have much to say about OCOTOCODOCOTOCECTCDCTHTDTETDGDEDHDEGEHEGEHGHGHGHG specifically, as i feel it speaks for itself, but i did want to highlight the way techdog 7s tone changes after this because i find it really, really interesting.

the way GEGTGEGHGEGTGECETEHETOTHTCTHDHCHOHCDCOCDCODODODOD sounds so desolate, as you start desperately screaming into the void harder and harder hoping to hear a response back. the way DODTDODHDODTDOGOTOHOTETHTGTHCHGHEHGCGEGCGECECECEC sounds like trying to process the loss of a version of yourself you never thought would leave, the way THTCTHTOTHTCTHDHCHOHCECOCDCOGODOEODGDEDGDEGEGEGEG sounds like dusting off the rubble and finally accepting that this is the way it is. (some of) the stages of grief on full display here.

but, just in case there is anything left... the 2nd-to-last track, DEDGDEDCDEDGDEOEGECEGHGCGOGCTCOCHCOTOHOTOHTHTHTHT is one last journey through reliving all the past trauma in hopes of finding something, anything from beforehand before calling it quits for good, yet coming up empty handed and being like fine ill let it go, ready to accept the circumstances and move on, try to rebuild yourself with what you do have. this was another song that i had to like... stop what i was doing, and fixate my full attention on everything happening in the song. it was too intense to ignore.

as was the final track of the techdog series, GEGCGEGHGEGCGEDECEHECOCHCDCHTHDHOHDTDODTDOTOTOTOT. a song that absorbed me for the last 30 minutes of its runtime, my entire being felt synergized with the energy this song brought with it until... suddenly, its gone. its over. and i had no idea what the hell i just experienced.

...

even now, i dont really know how to describe what happened after i finished techdog. i barely remember it, its all kind of a blur.

one thing i do specifically remember is that i tried remixing a song from techdog a couple days after i finished the series, and eventually scrapped it after it got a ways in production because uhhh... dude i slowly realized that i couldnt make music anymore. at all. techdog had set the standard of music in my brain so high that i would not be able to make any new songs i was proud of until i buckled myself down and figured out how to stop playing bab songs on my fisher price keyboard and start making some real shit. there was a path my music was taking shortly before techdog did what it did to me, and that IMMEDIATELY got terminated and hard branched elsewhere because i realized oh my god, that type of music i was making sucks actually and i need to get better right now before i make anything thats worth showing people again. and thats how it took 8 months for my confidence in making music to come back, after i sat down, learned some new plugins, and learned how to make crazy shit.

...i sorta lost focus a bit there oop. but yeah, techdog still holds such a special place in my heart and its so often that ill still revisit some of the songs cause they go hard as fuck. especially those from 4, 5, and 7, theres some songs in there that i absolutely adore. if i had to rank my enjoyment of each album nowadays casual-listening wise it would probably go 4 = 5 = 7 >> 6 > 1 > 3 > 2. i think theyre all great, its mostly just a vibes thing for me that has me preferring some over others.

i dont know how to end this big ass mini essay i wrote about my time experiencing techdog after saying all those things i did about it. so uhhhh... i guess thats it. maybe ill attach a wip of that scrapped techdog remix in a reblog just so it sees the light of day at all? idk

...ok yea im ending this post now

[gabessquishytum]

Dream found himself as findom for two men. He meets Corinthian, ceo of a big tech company, online before he even knew findom was a Thing. Hes just a natural tho and proceedes to humiliate Corinthian for being such a pathetic man for needing to buy the privilege of taking dream shopping in the first place. Dream hasnt even let Corinthian do more than place a hand on his lower back when theyre out and Corinthian wants to take dream to a luxury fucking beach resort even if dream decides to ignore him the entire time.

Dream meets hob gadling by accident. Hes also in the tech industry, not that dream cares or listens when hob is buying him the most expensive drinks at the bar theyre at. Dream knows what hes doing by now, and he thinks he would rather like to cuck the both of these men against each other.

Corinthian is furious when dream cancels an appointment with a jeweler with him to go to DINNER with his business rival HOB GADLING whos one of the cockiest assholes hes ever met and hes not even suave or cool about it like Corinthian hes loud and brash and obnoxious and he gets to take dream on an actual DATE???

dream plays them against each other relentlessly and industry conferences have never been more tense.... it all errupts when Corinthian finally gets the privilege of taking dream to a gala (whatever gown jewelry and shoes dream wants are provided ofc) and dream even allows him to kiss the back of his ringed hand like this is seriously the best night of the Corinthian’s life and he knows hob fucking gadling is going to be there and see who his plus one is which is even better... until near the end of the night dream has slipped from his side and Corinthian sees hob gadling helping dream into his stupid little sportscar. He shows up to hobs hotel room and dream answers in his little silk pajama set.

"Believe it or not Corinthian but i do need someone who can pleasure me sexually"

Thats how dream gets two very eager to please service tops and dream has them bid on whos allowed to eat his pretty cunt out<3

-🔪

Hnnnggg we'll stick with the findom theme tonight because I'm low-key obsessed. I love how you've flipped it make Dream the dom. I think he would be amazing tbh. Those cold blue eyes, that slightly sneering mouth. He was made to walk on pathetic men in his $10,000 dollar heels.

Poor Cori, showing up at that hotel room. He's so hard in his perfectly pressed trousers. And he's almost pathetically grateful when he's allowed into the room! Except for the fact that Hob is there, shirt sleeves rolled up, holding a glass of something expensive and alcoholic. Dream sits delicately in Hob’s lap while Cori just stands there, seething with rage and lust.

First they bid for a kiss. Dream sets up a time limit and sits back, sipping his drink while Hob and Cori spit bids at each other, higher and higher with little or no regard for the consequences. Cori wins - he doesn't even flinch as he writes a cheque for $80,000. Oh, its so worth it. Dream swishes over and melts into Cori's arms. The kiss is the most wonderful, delicious, intoxicating thing. Dream mewls into his mouth and submits when Cori licks at him, and it's just perfect. Until it's over. And Hob is still there, legs spread, smirking as Dream slips away from Cori's grasp.

"I hope you enjoyed it, because that's all you're getting." Hob says, and he slips his arm around Dream’s waist. Cori is outraged - he's never been allowed to touch Dream like that... without paying. "Or maybe he could pay to watch while i eat your cunt. What do you think, darling?"

Dream just smiles. "If he can afford it."

And Cori knows that he's being goaded, but fuck it feels so good. He knows he's going to cum his brains out tonight, whatever happens. Hob hasn't won the next bet yet, after all.

(Dream will reward both his lovely money-slaves, don't worry. Everything he does is for the sake of bringing pleasure to his sweet boys. He'll even let them buy him breakfast in the morning, if they keep being so good for him <3)