#its rly horrible tbh
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Feeling a debilitating sense of dread and despair 🤨 Which probably means nothing😍👍
#girl help i cant get out of bed i feel so so awful for no reason at all#literally my soul is gone or something#i have no desires and no joys and no sense of being blessed#which is crazy bc i love life and im so blessed ! usually.#ig i should do something abt it tomorrow if it doesn't get better#alternatively get back into therapy bc tbh... after that horrible sex thing ive felt kinda off#like even after i was able to eat and sleep and function normally without the tremors and head jerks and whatnot#like its not dramatic anymore but i kinda feel drained of life and joy#moments of genuine happiness and fulfillment are ... ? idk. i did feel happy once this week and that was nice but it didnt last obviously#but like ! im not depressed in a depressed way. i take good care of myself and i read my books and eat food and hang out with friends#i just kinda dont recognise myself ig. i mean i know ill get my spark back but maybe i need some professional help#idk !! it kinda feels very silly tho#like ive been in and out of therapy for more than half of my life. and being one year therapy free was a big step for me !#so going back for this little ridiculous freakout feels like a setback#kinda like im making up things to be wrong with me just so that ill have someone to talk to ? or to have attention idk#it doesn't make sense bc i really was proud for getting bettter and i rly dont want to be in therapy anymore#but who knows 🤷♀️#there is also this slight risk. just clinically speaking by purely looking at symptoms of certain things. with no stake in the matter! lol#that there might be something bad and [lets not think too hard about it] that lies as a root cause of my little mental breakdown#like according to my sex having friends losing your virginity is awful but not THAT awful and not in THAT way#and my friend kinda said i scared her with how i was acting when i talked to her abt it. like my demeanour and body language and whatever#and i do trust her to know whats normal versus concerning when i dont have my own stable grip of reality#plus. if i was an outside party and applied my psych education on myself. i would say its not looking super good#but i cant really do that bc im not some random patient. im me myself and I 😩✋️ thank you#but whatever. itll be fine. tomorrow will be a better day ! yay !
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anyways I genuinely feel so grateful for the rise apritello server I almost started crying on the way home bc I was filled with such joy. legit the best thing that happened to me in 2023 second only to maybe going to key west.
#apritello fans just. get it too tbh.#like all of the fics and artwork from them SLAP#its not even about solely april and donnies characterization bc like so many of these fics#have the best characterization for the other characters ive seen. and ive read a lot of gen fics too#sigh#anyway its just nice to have a safe space#like. i KNOW its not inc*st but when you hear 'omg u ship inc*st!! you horrible scum!!' enough#it starts to rly get to you#we had friends over for new years eve and MANY of us ended up talking about#how in our respective fandoms we all had a ship that the fandom deemed us 'problematic' for#bc the characters were 'sibling coded' AND NOT EVEN BIOLOGICALLY RELATED...#it genuinely makes me sad to know how many ppl this has happened to
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a genre of posts that seems just unavoidable on tumblr is posts that go "y'all talk about [morally good/progressive slogan] until [some sort of hypocrisy]" and it always catches me off guard because i legit NEVER see any examples of the mentioned hypocrisy actually out there in the wild. like either im really damn good at curating my feed or people out there will spot a patently ridiculous take from an online nobody and run with it as if its the hot new trend that everyone is getting behind
#im always like y'all? who the fuck is y'all???#it feels so weird to always hear these obviously shitty horrible takes secondhand#like its one thing to rip into a twitter screenshot for fun but like#seeing it paraphrased or referenced in a post means i cant even trace it back to whatever weird crevice it crawled from#this like weirdly accusatory vagueposting is just kinda uncomfortable tbh#cant say im not tempted to bitch like this sometime but like holy shit why do these posts get POPULAR#r there rly that many ppl who really need to vent their frustrations abt this one specific take#delete later
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me: oh i dont care about bnha much at all, its just some manga ive read years ago for a bit but barely had any impact on me
me seeing my avatar:
#i forgor hes from bnha tbh....#hes blorbo from my fanfics#has nothing much to do w canon tbh#and ive started reading bnha fanfics after only a few chapters in tbh#then i decided i wanted to write some fanfic#so i decided to catch up on the manga to know more abt the lore etc.#anyway i wasnt happy with canon lmao#what was i expecting... shounen is shounen sigh....#i also liked haikyuu and was catching up on the anime#talked to a friend about it who was super grumpy abt the ending and i asked her to spoiler me#and oh boy!!!! now im so glad i wasnt into haikyuu#cuz that wouldve pissed me off#which is to say#i learned my lesson once#with homestuck#afterwards i just wasnt able to trust any creator anymore sorry#im unable to get rly invested anymore#youll be disappointed#which ig isnt rly fair#im all for creators doing their own thing yknow even if fans wanted smth else#thats just how it is#anyway#dont hype up creators or actors or whatever#dont get fandom tattoos unless the author and franchise has been dead for over 200 yrs#and even then its sketchy#imagine getting a fandom tattoo of some “dead” fandom#and then the next day a horrible remake drops. nah man#avotxt
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ouhh sculpting is absolutely my enemy. but i persevere
#txt#nendo.txt#im chipping away at my third nendo project but sculpting how i want is SO hard#well its not .. horribly hard its just kind of tedious#bc i have to wear gloves for safety reasons n it makes it harder to sculpt the longer im.working#so the longer i work the clay starts drying out and then the gloves get messy and its just OUH#this one needed a lot of smallll small sculpted parts too#little stud earrings hoodie strings hoodie patches#and you can tell in the picture that i did NOT get consistent sizes on those patches HAHA but#tbh it doesnt matter cuz only one of those will be on the body at a time#the hair actually was pretty close to begin with and the sculpt i ended up with looks pretty accurate? so#happy with it even tho it was a huge struggle hah#but you can tell how small these are. theyre on my cutting mat with inch markers. theyre tine#tiny *#and im like. placing a blob of clay on these tiny arms and slicing away at them with my#way too big xacto knife until it kind of looks like the right shape#the first star i made was the best and also smallest snd it just got harder lolol#i also had to fill in a big hole in the top of the head cuz the original figure had#the little uhh. ? hair poofs. what are those AHOGE. two ahoges one on the front piece one on the back#which was too many . so i pulled out the back one#qnywqy hi#i dont take as many progress pics or posts with these as i did with the first cuz#im not rly a Poster and i just like working im not as big on doing updates ^^#but rest assured i am still making nendos and i love doing it#downside of sculpting also is that once i start im in clay purgatory until i finish#cant change videos or apps on my.phone cant check or reply to messages#well maybe its not totally a bad thing to just disconnect and work eith my hands for a while
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Just wanted to drop in and say thank you for finding and posting the ONI logs that you do! As someone who loves the story of the game but absolutely would not have the energy to find all of the logs that aren’t on the wiki legitimately its nice to be able to see some of them. The one w/ nails in it is especially interesting! Nails was already one of my favorite dupes but that log made me like them even more tbh. Everyone say thank you to Human Nails™️ for making dupes like actually cognizant.
Also, saw your ONI stuff on artfight! I am absolutely not plotting and scheming anything at all i swear :]
Oghhhh tysm :')!!!! I've been feeling a bit self conscious abt my oni obsession lately so this means a lot! I still need to get around to making my oni story catalogue actually readable, I started a while back but ran out of steam after the like 50th incident with said one with Nails in it lol. And I actually recognized you from artfight! Saw your oni guys a few days ago and I'm honestly obsessed with them, it would be a shame if I had my hand forced and had to draw them :3c
#rat rambles#oni posting#I hope Ill have the energy to draw multiple of them tbh Im bad at chosing what characters to draw#but yeah it is rough to be an oni lore enjoyer in this world where all out of game sources are horribly outdated#and even the stuff thats not outdated on the wiki is often just. straight up wrong.#I believe I went and fixed some of the worst stuff at one point but I mostly only fixed the easier stuff to fix if Im remembering correctly#as in incorrect names and job descriptions and stuff#I should go check if the jackie thrratening to burn nikola's work thing is still there because as far as I know thats just not true#I think that was probably a misremembering of a seed is planted where nails talks abt jackie burning some of their work#because outside of that I dont think jackie burning stuff was ever explicitly brought up?#or maybe I just dont remember it or smth it has been a lil bit since I've reread everything#Ive been rereading some stuff every now and then but I havent sat down and binged it all again yet#well hey Ill have plenty of time to comb over everything once I get back to cleaning up my log doc eventually#and then maybe after that Ill. sigh. go update the wiki. sighhhhhhhh#I rly dont want to but at the same timr Someone needs to for ppl like you aka most of them who arent going to manually hunt it all down#cause trust me it feels like loosing your mind to try to find all the logs in game even while actively cheating#you know its bad when I had an easier time learning how to read the code and finding the logs there then actually finding them all in game#plus as far as I know a decent amount of them are dlc exclusive which makes it even more hard to get into#well maybe not harder but more money yknow#but yeah Im glad I had the experience of hunting lore stuff down manually but I would not wish it upon others lol
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at this point im kind of unsure of whether or not how i typically act is always Actually Shitty/things i find -_- r actually an issue, part of my family r over-sensitive and/or r assholes so it's actually not rly me, it's an issue of me being a freak n every1 else being normies so we're not on the same wavelength n its jus a result of my brain being odd n thinking different things r acceptable n reasonable when theyre not 2 others not on a similar wavelength, or what.
#doesnt help w me not rly knowing myself. like am i a brat n horrible or am i p so-so n its jus im surrounded by :/ ppl. who knows.#my dad DOES hav some anger issues tbh ive seen him flare up on nana n im over here like. tht was uncalled 4 n u were a Cunt.#delete later
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my (mostly) coherent thoughts on the vengeance saga
spoilers obviously (and once again written during the livestream because i once again have shit to do tmrw)
🩸NOT SORRY FOR LOVING YOU🩸
lol so remember how in my wisdom saga post i said there were over 100k ppl in the livestream by the time the wisdom saga started and i thought that was a record? yea theres 167k ppl in the stream rn
already i am in love with the color pallette
love the steel pan also its a very nice touch
lowkey the percussion kinda sounds like the percussion in monster but idk if that means anything
i can already tell this is going in my audition binder
GIGI ANIMATIC HELL YEA
ok shes a horrible person but i kinda feel bad for her tbh (and you can tell ody does at least a little)
10/10
🩸DANGEROUS🩸
FULL SPEED AHEAD JUMPSCARE JESUS
HERMEEEEESSSSSSSS
this animation is EATING holy shit
troy never ceases to amaze me with his vocals omg
ODY IS BACK BABEY
bro is fighting for his life and hermes is just groovin
bringing back the wind bag is just *chefs kiss*
also confirmation that it was rigged is nice
11/10
🩸CHARYBDIS🩸
well he uh. certainly needs luck for THAT
ALL OF THESE ANIMATICS ARE FUCKING EATING HOLY SHIT
not much to say but holy SHIT HES BACK BABEYYYYYY
god fucking dammit poseidon
9/10
🩸GET IN THE WATER🩸
THE ORGAN????? HELLO???????
ALSO WELCOME BACK STEVEN ONE HELL OF A FUCKIN ENTRANCE
this song was already great in the snippet but its EVEN FUCKING BETTER MY FUCKING GOD
oh i. forgot he threatened to do that to telemachus
god odys part is so. idk. soft? either way i love it
SHATTER THE MOTHERFUCKING OCEAN
welp hes certainly afraid of the water now
NOT AGAIN GODDAMMIT
15/10
🩸SIX HUNDRED STRIKE🩸
WIND BAG COMING IN CLUTCH AGAIN
3D???????
BRO IS LITERALLY USING IT AS A JETPACK
"I WILL GET BACK TO MY WIIIIIIIIIFFEEEE"
THE FUCKING ANIME BATTLE
BRO IS CASUALLY BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF A GOD
poseidon what the fuck do you mean
AND NOW HES JUST THREATENING A GOD????? BRO IS FUCKING FERAL
OH GOD THE DIFFERENT BEAST HORN
OH SHIT WHAT IS HE DOING
I MEAN I CANT RLY BLAME HIM BUT JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
"HOW WILL YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT" "NEXT TO MY WIFE" FUCK YEA GO GET YOUR GIRL
175K FUCKING PEOPLE
45013534058/10
in conclusion AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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i have the worst health anxiety ive ever seen or heard of. this is such a horrible way to live tbh. im so scared about every little thing its rly pissing me off
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OK!!!!! SO!!!! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ROUND!!!
A LOT HAPPENED SO IMMA DO A SMALL ANALYSIS AND JUST POINT THINGS OUT BCS I NEED TO TALK ABT THIS!!!
First of all, Hyuna is still bleeding from the gunshot wound of last round, and idk how long it takes for an abdominal gunshot wound to stop bleeding, but it can't have been more than a few hours, so this couldn't have happened too long after the last round. and since thats true, is it usually this short of time in between, and when did this short time in between rounds begin?
also, i'm so mad at luka but like. pop off???? he plays the fuckin violin???? hes a talented guy ig???
Hyuna stopping mizi from going after till and luka??? she looks absolutely terrified, bcs who know what could happen to her if she goes up on that stage with luka. She's worried that luka will hurt mizi and that just. :(
This scene breaks my heart tbh :( mizi running off with hyuna left watching after her terrified, bcs she feels powerless.
also!!!! in this scene??????? where you can see the blood CLEARLY still on tills pants??? did they not have him change his pants after the previous round??? he's still covered in ivan's blood thats just so- AAAAAAAAAAA
The disco ball beign earth?? that's absolutely crazy to me. like damn.
When Luka reaches out and touches till??? First of all, the lyrics specifically being 'the dark crimson air' during this part just made me think of ivan, who had red in his eyes, like, huh. and also that red behind till's ear? is that a part of his ear piece? and also speaking of the ear piece why does it glow red this whole round, when it didn't glow like that before (i think i might be wrong ;-;)
and this!! him putting his hands exactly where Ivan put his when he choked till, and especially because this is when he sings 'embraces us'? that is just. uggghhhhhhh. and also the rings on his hands are placed so specifically on each finger. huh.
And the fact that his face gets all dead, void of expression once he hides his face behind till is just scary, the way he can wipe off all semblance of emotion. also, back to till's ear piece, i can't help but be fixated on it, with how it glows red so BRIGHTLY in some scenes, and with how out of place it looks with everything else around it, idk.
Till, here, looks absolutely terrified, and so tired, he's so scared he doesn't sing the next few lines for a bit, i feel horrible for him ;-;
And again with the ear piece! he even looks in pain as pulls his hand away from it like it's causing him so much pain. i'm rly worried abt it :/
and he looks DELIGHTED that till is in so much pain, like it's funny to him, because luka is a FREAK AND WE CAN'T FORGET THAT
he's so exhausted that his weird fake guitar glitches out ;-;
THE RED FLASHBACKS OF CURE ALL GOING DOWN AND IVAN'S DEATH??? THAT'S CRAZY
AND ONCE AGAIN THE RED FLASHING EAR PIECE WHILE TILL IS LOOKING ALL DEFEATED AND HIS NOSE STARTS BLEEDING?? MY BOY IS TIRED.
OK HERE. So Ivan is looking down on till, all high and mighty, serious, scary, all cold and condescending while till is all defeated and broken down
meanwhile, behind Luka, Ivan is practically the exact opposite of the one above till. He's crying, he's dying, he's dressed as he is in cure, but one of the only things the two share is theyre both looking at Till. Even if the two images are opposites, they are always looking at till. UGH. Ok also, i feel like the two are sorta how the two see ivan?? like not completely, but it's his image in their eyes. To till, he's so far above him, he's off putting and mysterious, but to Luka ivan is pathetic, low and close to the ground, emotional and defeated. i'm not saying this is 100% how i think luka sees ivan, but its a part of it.
UGHHH LUKA MIMICING IVANNNNN. ALSO NOT THE LYRICS BEING 'LEAVE NO REGRETS' FOR THIS SEGMENT.
ALSO THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE TWO PICS ABOVE ARE EVERYTHING. Luka is mostly expressionless here, a small smirk, but other than that, his face is blank. Ivan meanwhile, despite being till seeing ivan in luka, is so much more human looking between the two. He's sweating, he's tired from the performance, his hair is slightly messy, he has sorta eyebags/crinkles from his exhaustion, his small smirk, he just looks so much more real then Luka in this moment, despite not being real at all.
AND THE CHANGE BETWEEN HIM SEEING IVAN AND THEN NOTICING MIZI!!!! FROM THE TERRIFIED LOOK ON HIS FACE WITH THE RED REPLACING HIS PUPIL, AND THE LITTLE PINK EYELIGHT AFTER HE SEES MIZI!!! INSANE.
AND SUDDENLY WHEN HE LOOKS IN THE CROWD AGAIN HE DOESN'T JUST SEE ALL OF THE RED, ALL OF THE BRIGHT LIGHTS, HE SEES MIZI, AND HE SEES THE PINK OF THOSE AROUND HER, AND NOTHIGN ELSE.
AND HE BEGINS TO SING AGAIN. AND HAS THE MOTIVATION TO KEEP FIGHTING.
LUKA IS FLABBERGASTED AT ALL THIS
AND TILL, SUDDENLY REINVIGORATED TO KEEP GOING, SINGS, AND ALSO THE EAR PIECE GOES GREEN.
Luka seems genuinely annoyed at this and im so sorry bcs at this point im just narrarating whats happening im not good at analysis sorry ;-;
AND HERE!! WHERE TILL TRANSITIONS FROM THE DARK GREEN ALL AROUND HIM TO MIZI'S SOFT PINK!!! HE'S INSPIRED AND HAS HOPE. ACTUAL HOPE.
AND THE PINK ALL AROUND THEM IS SO SWEET, THEY'RE REACHING OUT TO EO, MIZI HOPING TO SAVE TILL AND TILL SO DESPERATE TO BE SAVED ONLY FOR HIM TO GET SHOT IMMEDIATELY AFTER?? UGH.
the absolute horror and pain in mizi's expression as she watches till fall ;-; he was the last person left from before, and now mizi's is all alone.
OK IMMA CONTINUE THIS IN ANOTHER POST BCS THERES A LIMIT TO HOW MANY IMAGES BUT JUST YOU WAIT. IM COOKING HERE I SWEAR.
#alien stage#alnst till#alnst luka#alnst ivan#alnst mizi#alnst hyuna#i have so much to say but i have a lotta trouble talking abt it and writing it down so bare with me here#sorry that im not so good at analysis its rly just me pointing out specific points that i feel like are more important than they seem#and narrarating#alien stage final round spoilers!!
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So any word of Coupon Kids or are you unsure/trying to keep quiet about it for right now? I like quat's redesign. It's more visually distinct than the original.
tldr: I am trying to pick back up on Coupon Kids, reworking the story (yeah , the actual story) with a lot more intention! Idk how long it will take, but just know that I'm taking it seriously.
If you want the LONNGGG story of it, here it is!
Last time we left off in the comic, I was in quarantine with my niece and sister! I was helping to raise my niece so my sister could get out of a horribly abusive relationship. I was a full time nanny which was tough! Cause I had to still make rent from home on commissions, but no one was buying them because we all became RLY RLY poor all at once.... go figure.
I turned to Coupon Kids for support because umm I was kinda fucked tbh 6_6. I had run out of money and had no time to make more, but I SQUEEEZED out the last of the Halibut Jones arc! (which, even at the time of completion, I knew it was an underwhelming piece of work, but I finished it and I'm proud I did!) Thanks to everyone's support, I had enough financial padding that I could rely on Patreon's passive income and refocus on supporting my sister/niece as well as plan to make the move down south to continue my schooling once the quarantine let up. So thats where I had left the comic for the time being in terms of story, with a sprinkle of short strips here and there, but nothing plot related, because the plot was horribly fucked right from the get-go.
I had to take multiple severe hiatuses with Coupon Kids because I got my ass handed to me on several accounts through ought. Horrible breakup, friend break up, severe mental illness, best friend got cancer, best friend died, quarantine, unexpected parenthood, gallbladder disease, then school. All the while Coupon Kids was something I made in the deepest pits of my depression.
I absolutely hated my self, my work, and my art. That all looped back to being a strange source of peace for me to make stuff w/o fear of judgement. No one could hate Coupon Kids as much as I did. I was the #1 Coupon Kids hater and I ruined it by making it. (this is a retrospective pov obv... I dont think my work is worthless anymore thx wellbutrin lol)
Coupon Kids was very liberating to write in that I had no standards, but the lack of structure kinda eventually lead to its own downfall once I started to get better. I had a very loose idea of what I wanted the story to be, but I was so disoriented by chemical imbalance and weed (I smoked SOOO much weed) I didn't rly care about the ending because tbh I thought I was gonna be dead before I got anywhere near the ending. But then Kira died, So I officially abstained myself from death's sexy loins and committed myself to giving life another go.
Sorry for the autobio dump: its kinda hard to convey Coupon Kids development w/o getting into the nitty gritty of what I was going through at the time of making it. The point is this: I made Coupon Kids with the intention of it being a stain on my legacy- but then I ended up loving the stain and it's inhabitants. Its made coming back to it difficult, because I want to put genuine effort in it but that clashes with it's overall tone. Instead of creating in spite, I'd like to create it in celebration of my artistic short comings and to do that is to completely rework the entire moral of the story and all of the characters. If I'm gonna do it right, I'd like to take my time.
Not sure how many people made it to the end of this one! Sorry I'm so quiet about my process. tbh the last 4 years have been the best of my life despite holding a lot of dread. I'm doing a lot better now and am really excited to work on what I love and be grateful I have the power to do so ! So thank you for reading if you are still interested, it means a lot!
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how did you get that kind of job without a university marketing degree or whatever? i'm kinda struggling here :(((((
it was a (relatively) long process of trial and error and a lot of freelance work/not having a stable income but basically to break it down. a few yrs ago i went to careers advice and asked how to maximise my future prospects or whatever and the first thing they said was add ALLL of ur skills onto your resume even if youve never used them in a job role before. if you're proficient in (or capable of learning) excel, photoshop, adobe creative suite, wordpress, social media, copywriting, seo software....even if youve never used it in a professional capacity its rly good to kind of emphasize ur digital skill set as much as possible and start researching it as much as possible too. then i started a wordpress blog and would write copywriting articles on there (or in google docs) even though i had no one to send them to lol just to build a portfolio that i could send out to freelance content and copy writer agencies who were hiring. there's tons of tips and articles and pdfs online that can help you write great articles and help u learn content design. anyway i did this for a longgggg time and finally got some actual freelance work coming in. from this, i started interviewing for actual full time copywriting jobs, and was hired to intern at a digital agency at the end of 2021. did that for months then went back to freelance but was able to get more projects with my slowly growing experience. while doing freelance i was interviewing for a shit ton of full time copywriting and content management roles, most of which i got rejected from after like the 1st interview. finally i heard back from a team i had interviewed for and they had me give a presentation outlining my approach to copywriting/media managemenet and from that they've hired me and ive been really really lucky that they have. unfortunately that's what i think it was more than anything, like a stroke of luck that they saw smth in me and took me on despite me unconventional background. im rly rly grateful to them for it. i would also encourage you to look for literally any volunteer opportunities in admin, soc media, bookkeeping - it looks rly good on the resume and can sometimes expand into a job. also look up general cv tips cause there's a ton of cheatsheets out there that can help you get yours to the top of the pile or near the top. good luck and im really sorry you're struggling atm!! ive absolutely been there and it's honestly so discouraging, the amt of times i quit job hunting while doing freelance out of sheer despair was a lot. it's hard but there are ways to show what you have to offer in a really favourable light, and the more you interview/resume edit/write the better you will get. it's all one horrible big skill at least that's how it felt to me, and i still suck at it. just clawing my way up TBH. anyway sending you a lot of love ❤️ hope you catch the break u deserve soon. X
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It was truly crazy going from watching such a horrible movie 10ish days ago (joker 2...) to seeing quite possibly the best body horror movie I feel I've seen (the substance)
After seeing a tiny bit of explanation on the directors part on how she wanted the movie to come across its a lot more clear to me that it's trying to be more of a universal message on body image than a character study like I thought while watching it and that's rly nice to have confirmed tbh.
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Heyy im gonna be fasting for 72 hours and keeping progress of how it feels/ whats going on, etc 🥰
Sw: 171.2
Cw: 167.4
1-4 hours
After eating, i was still hungry and having cravings. BUT i stayed strong. I started my fast after dinner yesterday. So i was able to sleep off the cravings.
I woke up around 10-13 hours??
16-18 hours:
I was HUNGRY like rly hungry. I think its bc my body just switched to fat burning mode.
20-21 hours:
Not as hungry actually, i used no cal juice to suppress everything. Also did some research. At 24 hours your body goes into ketosis and you may lack an appetite. Its actually one of the signs your body is in ketosis:)!. So i keep telling myself, after that, i wont be as hungry🥰 AND then tomorrow, its just whatever i did today. But with less of an appetite. So this alll seems so easy. Ill keep an update.
26 hours
Hi. 26 hours amd 48 minute update:
I have forced my girlfriend to eat a strawberry mochi and she got full. So i then forced my grandparents eat mochi as i sat there and intensely watched them. Now im watching mochi mukbangs😭 i love mochi. And its SO tempting bc ✨only 80 caloriessss✨ but ITLL BREAL MY FAST and im convincing myself im doing this for you guys teehee 🙂↔️🙂↔️
ALSO i was reading more on fasting and apparently day two is actually the hardest. Which lowkey i think gives me MORE motivation bc after day two it should be slightly downhill from there. I know i have it in me, i can do it. Tomorrow when i wale up i am going to be SO proud of myself when i see the fast time on my app. Ugh. Also so excited to weigh myself😗 gn bbs
36 hours:
I HAVE MORNING SKINNYYY EEKK anyways. Last night i fell asleep to mukbangs of all sorts. Mainly sweets and stuff (i normally eat a sweet before bed to stabilize my blood sugar so im not fatigued in the morning). Anyways, im actually feeling great today. I woke up before my alarm. Pretty energized tbh. Im going to watch a breakfast mukbang while i guzzle my very low cal mango juice💅🏻 thinking i might try some matcha tea today (i stole some stevia from work bc that shit is EXPENSIVE). But imma weigh myself when i get uo and go on a walk. Ill update then <3
SW: 171.2
CW: 167.4
Lost: 3.2
48 hours
The signs are rlyyy starting to show. Im getting hunger pains, still not craving as much as i did the first day tho. Only problem is im completely and totally bitchy and literally about to lose my fuccin noodle. Anywhosies, weighing myself tomorrow, stay tuned🥰
56 hours:
Cw: 165.8
Cw wl: 5.4 lbs
End:
Ended at 58 hours and 55 minutes with a pb and j sandwhich because i started my period and the cramping is ABSOLUTELY horrible. Plus im at work so i cant just rot in bed to deal with them. I actually have to move and stuff. Anyways, it was fun while it lasted. I plan to do it again soon. Depending on if i can keep the weight off or not. I think im going to do 24-48 hour fast so my body doesnt Go into starvation mode. BUT if i can keep the weight off after this, ill continue to fast for long periods of time.
Total wl: 5.4 lbs
#fasting#tw ana rant#tw ed but not sheeran#🕯️as a feather#@anablog#⭐️ ing motivation#⭐️vation goals#@na motivation#th!n$piration#thinspø#tw thinspi#⭐️rving#⭐️ve#⠀ ⭐️🎀🌈 🎀 ⊹︵︵︵ ⊹ ୨୧ ⊹ ︵︵︵ ⊹ 🎀⭐️🎀🌈#4n4motivation ⭐️rving
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i feel like shintaro’s eye ability is like there, and the. like they just don’t go into anymore depth about it towards the end. it drives me crazy like wdym you rewatch all your friends and family die whenever your eyes turn red and you’re not severely affected and non functioning because of it? like he had this ability and then is like “yea it’s there” AUSHAJ kill me anyways correct me if im wrong please
HMM well like u said they don't go in depth about it however i dont think he randomly uses it or even Ever uses it post str. in my hc if he activates it it's to speak to ayaki, but activating it doesn't automatically send a hundred awful images to his head. i see it more like... when he activates it, he steps into a weird mind space where he can revisit these other routes and/or speak to ayaki. all while conscious hehe its like a specific thing i hc
headcanons aside, retaining allows shintaro to retain memories from other routes, it doesnt just force him to look at the most gruesome bits of other routes just for being activated. shintaro is born with retaining, he can also remember normal days from other routes if he wants to!
however he Has seen it and it is in his mind. it's rly interesting to explore and its one of my favorite things tbh. i dont think retaining randomly activates and forces shintaro to relive horrible things, i think shintaro is a human with trauma and randomly gets triggers that give him flashes of bad situations out of nowhere, putting him in a bad state like u described
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Inspired by nikto in Miami (iykyk). Give some ops their favourite fast food chain... Whoever u want it can be as few or as many ops as you wish
this is perfect bc w nikto in miami i can just say theyre all in miami fsr and not have to worry abt what restaurants are where. YAY. and also i know whats down here. so if i miss something bc its some northern shit DONT be surprised. read all my posts w a southern accent. Anyway.
rodion ofc would b the most excited hed want to eat at a million places and get a bite of everything and get himself sick. i think nikto would probably end up finishing a lot of his meals & eating the best he has since hes become nikto bc he cant let food go to waste and rodion is eating like final 2 fries after 3/4th of the biggest burger on the menu & half his chicken nuggets then going "Oh my god...... Im so full now......." and sipping on a little milkshake. he would rly like dairy queen bc they have so many little ice creams to pick from. nikto wouldnt b impressed by any particular fast food chain i think but he would probably find some local wings place he rly likes bc the food is spicy. and he enjoys a good fry. he might fuck up a captain d's tho. they got fish. yummy. or popeyes actually bc they have shrimp AND its spicy.
i dont think bale is picky abt food at all. both him and nikto you could feed them anything and theyll take it. stuff thats really greasy might bother him but he'd still fuck up a steak n shake. or a wendys baconatorr but where i really want to see bale is a waffle house. the burger w the bacon w the hashbrowns he can put cheese in. its that american cheese but its good he will like it. salty as FUCCCK. uh minotaur is having a horrible time but he will still enjoy a chicken hashbrown bowl. and a captain d's too hed like the bread roll. OHH and a taco bell rice bowl. if they still have those. hed like a chipotle more than taco bell tho.
nikolai would fuck up a five guys burger and fries but it would put him out for the rest of the day. or an ARBYS bro get him a roast beast with fries, cheese sticks, and a shake hes OUT. i think krueger would b a lil snobby tbh he would like a local burger/wings place but not fast food. except mayb a nice plain value menu chicken sandwich from wendys its not very greasy. + good fries. syd already knows fast food placess in america shed probably rly fuck w most of them she LOVES a burger and fries. shed probably rly like cookout and any place that gives a lot of variety. five guys as well for all you can put on a burger + boiled peanuts. yegor would be so haterous of fast food but he'd enjoy a walmart deli bc its a one stop shop. and some nice gas station coffee. idk if farah would come along tbh idk that she could get into America with her label... she's not underhanded like kroug and nik are she's very blunt and doesn't lie... she would like Wendy's tho. something Small bc all the grease is gonna fuck her uppp
roze also doesnt care for fast food i think shes not huge on burgers esp not eating them often. but shed like chick fil a and grilled chicken sandwiches. mayb arbys roast beef every so often. lerch does not gaf at all if someone's going to get food he'll eat whatever gets brought back for him. he just wants a large. velikan fuckin... would Tear Up five guys too put him in the pile. AND taco bell AND dairy queen w a nice big blizzard (he is always getting a brain freeze. every time.) AND any pizza place but prob mostly little caesars bc its the cheapest. goin crazy on the crazy bread.
mace like already knows fast food places so hed be able to kind of have an idea on places jackals would like. subway or jersey mike's is a safe bet any just sort of sub place bc thats just a sandwich but i think end of da day they wouldnt like any place nor the prices so theyd also just enjoy walmart deli sandwich or theyd get some use out of the hotel kitchenette. zane esp would not enjoy fast food imo. maybe a classic bit of mcdonalds by himself bc he just wants to eat and go. mace like doesnt care he enjoys a burger he likes a fry. jacks is good bc theyve got the potato and gravy thats rly yummy + you can get like an actual plate mace would like that. a country fried steak even..
uhh price Only likes the McDonalds fish filet i dont think hes fucking up any other meal or place. he would maybe snack on some chicken nuggets dry. i really just see sas going to McDonald's they know McDonald's. everybody knows McDonald's. they could end up in a steak n shake and enjoy it tho esp soap and thorne. i think otter alongside price is the hardest to please but if you give him enough hot sauce packets he can eat anything. ghost isn't going inside he wants to eat in the car but he doesn't gaf where they are. ghost and mace on an in the parking lot pizza hut date.
golem needs to try waffle house also. i think he'd probably actually be really disappointed in the lack of gyro places that's what he'd be wanting and there's like arbys and pita that's it. unless he finds a local place. wyatt would love cookout u can get a million things. AND captain ds. talon would probably also like captain ds but he does not want to go with wyatt. he will go with domino and mara who would rather be having pizza pizza little caesars. I'm taking Morte to the Olive Garden.
demon dogs would b up for anything but they would like All have to agree on one place. they probably mostly get big buckets from any of the fried chicken places OR pizza bc its easy to get a lot to feed a lot. OR a bbq place they love bbq they give u big portions they love to Eat. + just buffets bro they'd tear up a buffet.. all the ops would tbh itd be the easiest way to get everyone some food.
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