#its probably worse ngl
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I'd say my biggest red flag is probably that literature-wise, I only either read Dostoyevsky or the longest most bizarre fanfics known to man.
#that and also bpd#red flags#survival is a talent#dostoevksy#fyodor#fyodor dostoevsky#notes from underground#ao3#ao3 fanfic#actually bpd#its probably worse ngl#what can i say#fuck you dan howell#thanks for ruining my vocabulary yet again#dan howell#my sworn enemy#i got distracted in tags again#my bad#anyways
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❄️☃️The SDV Girlies in their winter garb!☃️❄️
One side how i interpreted their lil avatars and then the other side is just me playing dress up lmao.
“Bois when?” Dunno. 🤷🏽♀️ I will if anyone donates screenshots.
#stardew valley#stardew valley 1.6#stardew valley winter#stardew valley maru#stardew valley haley#stardew valley penny#stardew valley leah#stardew valley emily#stardew valley abigail#sdv maru#sdv haley#sdv penny#sdv leah#sdv emily#sdv abigail#i was sweating drawing this#the ph is having a fucking heatwave at 40*C / 104*C#and i’m not even living in the city where its definitely worse!!!#my pinterest algorithm probably thinks i’m insane for searching up winter outfits#penny looking lightly dressed for winter in her 2nd lewk but she’s dressed in several layers in dresses and skirts#i just wanted to show a lil bit of the layered neckline#ngl my fave lewk has to be emily!#she probably made her whole ensamble from scratch#abgail probably goes around lightly dressed#‘cold never bothered her anyway’ -elsa#haley going from cocnut girl to cold girl aesthetic#also i based maru’s outfit in this really cool chinese obre puffer jacket + 90s pastel tracksuit#with leah… what can i say gay in primary colors#thank you to henarikat for sending me a screenshot of their avatars!!!!!!#and also for being a beta for Haley and Penny’s looks hahaha
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MALEVOLENT ART FROM MONTHS AGO HTAT I SOMEHOW NEVER POSTED ???
#it was probably during that time that i Strongly Hated everything i made n thats why i never posted it umm#but now i was sctolling through the discord channels n found this and it kind of fucks im ngl#anyway yes#malevolent#malevolent fanart#arthur lester#john doe malevolent#yorick malevolent#you can tell its old cause yorick looks worse than he could look.and also john looks Like That#my current john is um uh my icon#me whe i struggled to come up w a design for him for actual years#art tag#my friend liked this drawing a lot for some reason like A Lot idk
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i understand the frustration with “i made this gay pairing cis x trans so they can still have biological babies” with no thought to other methods and how ppl assume thats the case when it comes to mothpool aus where mothwing is also the mother of the three, but also…. idk i kinda dont give a shit if someone wants to do that and i dont really think its inherently transphobic as long as its handled with care and respect.
what really concerns me about this debate is how some people are adamant that you cannot portray trans people having biological children in media or youre being disrespectful. and im gonna say as a nonbinary person who doesnt want children for themself- thats kinda fucking weird? like i understand that for some people, theyre trans themselves and theyre speaking from a place of dysphoria, and i absolutely get that, which is why i think the topic should be handled with nuance and diversity in trans characters, but like…. guys. pregnant trans men exist irl. trans women get people pregnant irl. trans ppl’s ability and right to parent and have biological children are being debated irl. we get denied the opportunity to adopt as well.
in a climate like this, are we SURE we want the stance on rewrites and headcanons in the silly cat books to be “if you portray trans characters having children, especially with a gay couple, youre a transphobic freak no matter what!” does it really matter? especially if its being done by a trans person handling the topic with nuance who has a lot of trans characters with varying perspectives?
obviously yes, remember that thats not the only way certain gay couples can have kids, remember that not every trans person is fully comfortable with it and keep that in mind, remember that surrogacy and adoption are also perfectly valid ways to give fan babies- but remember that there are OPTIONS. not that you need to condemn the idea of transgender parents in the first place unless they fit the very specific criteria of “proper transgender representation” and anything that dares deviate from that is proof the op is a transphobic monster (bonus points if theyre a trans creator bc i mostly see trans people getting shit for this and it kinda pisses me off. although idm if cis people do it either as long as theyre handling it with respect)
#and this isnt getting into how trans mothwing outside of mothpool is a really good way to read her character#sorry. remembered the shit bonefall got despite being trans as well and got annoyed#that especially annoys me bc hes got plenty of surrogacies but the second hed touch a trans pregnancy#‘’no you cant do that!!! you freak!!! obviously you only see trans people as a loophole for gays to have babies!!!’’#also my gf and i were talking and obviously take this with a grain of salt bc this is our experience#but…. i think a lot of the ppl saying this……. havent really talked to trans women?#dude some of the ones i know LOVE the idea of getting people pregnant#did you know trans women have sex? did you know trans people in general have sex?? did you know trans people irl wanna start families?#did you know that? did you? or do you black out at the idea of a trans woman being anything but strictly pure and nonsexual#and OBVIOUSLY this is not every trans woman. some do have dysphoria around the idea#but im genuinely starting to wonder how these people act around irl transgender parents#whether they had kids before or after coming out#bc ngl. the attitude that thinking about this makes you a transphobic pervert?#directed at trans people making content for themselves?#im starting to think you all just dont want us to reproduce. if we reproduce we arent ‘’good’’ trans people#because a ‘’real’’ man wouldnt carry a child. a ‘’real’’ woman would carry the child. and god forbid the gays even THINK about reproducing#and being around children!#if we have children then we’re doing things that might make cishets look at us and declare we’re not perfect#we’ve proved we’re not just identical to cis ppl!! (and therefore deserving of respect!)#idk. i think this was mostly a case of tumblr going ‘’oh someone said no to this so lets push this to an unhealthy extreme!!’’#and i cant help but notice nobody really brings up nonbinary parents at all in this discussion#not that we have it ‘’better’’ or anything for that but yknow. are we supposed to swear it off?#is the idea of us having kids inconcievable? or worse…. does it mean we ‘’picked a side?’’#so its not even worth getting mad at a pregnant nb person bc ‘’well thats a woman so who cares’’b#HMMMMM.#ohhhh i bet they also get mad if you make transfem pregnancy possible too. no winning#idk really think about it when you go ‘’you can NEVER EVER portray a trans person starting a family. bc REAL trans people would never.’’#ohhh you probably get mad when trans ppl dont get surgery for one reason or another dontcha#whether we want to or its not in the cards for us for whatever reason like cost and such#(while also getting mad if we do bc we cannot win in this no matter what)
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Mmm I’m not feeling right tonight.
I wonder if karma finally decided to hit me lol
(i might be sick)
#pixel txt.#personal#lmao#maybe its time for the whumper to get whumped ^^;#it’s probably nothing too bad.#…i hope x-x#just feel tired…and my body feels warm#thermometer keeps changing so idk#its 99 so I think its slight?#maybe it’ll go away tomorrow#either that or get worse haha#I’m lowkey fascinated by it ngl lmao#i don’t get sick often last time was 2 years ago
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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demi-fiend 🤝 ann takamaki
jacket over hoodie combo (no shirt)
#persona 5#smt nocturne#demifiend#ann takamaki#ok look. no way ann's winter uniform has three layers. its not even third semester. its not that cold yet!!!#demifiend tho. man really said 'aw yeaaaa jacket over hoodie is peak fashion' in what may be spring (and then ditched both)#i mean i guess look at his friends (pre-conception). guy with hat three layers ripped jeans and belt buckle. girl in denim everything (jirl#ngl he probably could have gone worse. maybe he was trying to balance them out idk#persona tag
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Idk why we’re acting like brain rot is a new gen z thing when this has been on tumblr dot com for decades
#got war flashbacks seeing this post ngl#this came to me in a vision#I had to actually go and FIND THIS#it was kinda difficult too I asked ChatGPT for a link at one point#hope this made ur day worse! it fucked mine up for sure :)#tumblr#brain rot#I remember being like 11 and not having a tumblr account#but being OBSESSED with it and the memes and culture#so idk how many of u know this but a LOT of that makes its way onto Pinterest#if you tailor your algorithm enough over several months it’s basically just like having tumblr actually 😭#i never even have actually encountered this post in the Wild#just in blurry screenshots on some random bots Pinterest#the Pinterest to tumblr pipeline IS REAL though and should be discussed#in fact I’m going to make a post about it right now#it will probably say most of the same stuff as these tags sry guys I’m only creative 50 minutes of the day
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having whatever the hell i got going on is like im balencing between heaven and hell broWHAT IS THIS
#this is about having a crush#ITS NOT REALLY??a crush I REALLY WANT TO BE THEIR FRIEND LIKE IN A CRAZY WAY which is probably worse im ngl#aroace more like UHHHH UMMMM UHHH#Guys im banging my head against the wall this NEED STO BE GONE#jerrsterrr jests#Mispelling who caresIM DYING HERE
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hm. you know what. censorship culture bad, agree. but uh "if you say unalive in front of me im killing you with my bare hands" hinged response 👍 good job. thatll show em. be worse. while youre at it you should send some suicide baiting anons to them, another thing that only the most hinged, and reasonable, and cool people do
#toy txt post#reblogs off i dont trust yall#the majority of the censorship happening is self censorship ship yes but also. you are responding extremely reactively to ppl who are#eing affected by it. do you think this is going to fix things?#ngl some of yall are annoying enough about this that its changed my mind on saying it#i do think we should be allowed to say kill but i honestly dont see a meaningful difference between unalive and smth like#meaningfully different from like. passed away. put to sleep. no longer with us. kicked the bucket. truly how is unalive any worse or more#squeamish about death or whatever than those? ppl honestly probably could get away with using those. is it just cos unalive is like#cringe and new and slangy??#people have been self censoring and softening and dancing around this topic forever and the censorship IS bad but the word unalive is not#actually going to bring society to its knees and yall need to chill out like. a tiny bit#or dont. whatever. but youll be less of a toxic miserable asshole to interact with#is seggs REALLY worse than seggsy. none of this is really new. the words are new. the sentiment is so so old and persistent and teens on#tiktok are not going to be the downfall of the earth#even if they talk silly#even if they talk silly cos theyre stuck on this miserable ad pandering hostile censoring internet landscape with the rest of us
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🎤
a song that i associate with my muse meme!
OH hey! thank you so much for the ask, venus!! so for this one... i unfortunately have another sad song but (,: i swear to god, if you've never heard this song before, it may just change your lifeee. okay — maybe it wouldn't do something that extreme, BUT it is still such a good song, IMO (an explanation will be in tags):
radiohead - how to disappear completely.
youtube
#IT WAS PROBABLY NOTHING BUT IT FELT LIKE THE WORLD: musings.#I SUBMIT MY SOUL TO THE DISASTER OF LOVING YOU: playlist.#AHH okay but i literally just discovered this song recently and i? think the beat of it is so good?? + the lyrics are so darn relatable-#in a tragic way NGL ;; because i feel like a lot of people could relate to feeling disassociated from the world / what's going on around yo#or trying to essentially calm yourself down after a period of being so stressed out that you feel like you have to tell yourself whatever-#is happening... its not actually happening to you but GOD. this one is probably going to be a bit shorter than the other ones but-#its the way that blamore went through months just feeling like nothing around him was real because that was the only way that it-#could really cope with what happened to its body at first and i just. yeah i honestly think he still doesn't completely recognize who he is#anymore because he was so different not even that long ago but with just one decision everything changed for him. and i think-#that that kind of thing could cause a character or someone in real life to feel kind of hopeless you know? but OFC it doesn't have-#to be that way because you CAN get help and you CAN change but blamore is of the mindset that when he changes its never-#for the better now. its for the worse and that is just... ;; i'm crying screaming throwing a table BUT i hope you like this song even thoug#its well more than a bit sad ahahhh#tw: disassociation#tw: derealization
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God. Fuckin. Dammit guys.
Youuuu lil gremlins didn't warn me.
My friends got me (dragged me against my will) into Genshin (hell)
And I spent-
8 REAL PERSON HOURS
grinding a bunch of quests. I am ruined. What am I supposed to do now? I streamed after a while bc I was bored and my friend came on and was like... wow. you've really been no life-ing this huh?
#genshin impact#gaming#hoyoverse#AND THE WORSE PART IS HES RIGHT#IM ACTIVELY AVOIDING SEVERAL PRESENTATIONS I NEED TO MAKE#IN ORDER TO PLAY THIS STUPID GAME#got pretty far tho ngl#finally resolved the venti and dvalin crisis#now we're on kaeya and diluc angst#angsty characters with a complicated past my beloveds<3#i smelled the tea from the moment kaeya was introduced#its givingggg#ambrosius and ballister#naruto and sasuke#its givinggggg#doomed to forever be on opposite sides#atp im only playing for their lore#and ORATRICE MECHANIQUE DENALYSE CARDINALE#probably spelled that wrong#but i just woke up sooo#Day 67 of hiding from my friends
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The thing about chronic pain is that I'll be experiencing the usual horrors (pain and discomfort that isn't possible to fully ignore) but I'm not even phased, like this is just a normal Wednesday night for me.
#it hurts but i can ignore it if i keep myself occupied with other stuff#which means its not that bad#but its bad enough that trying to sleep is out of the question#and that means its another night of taking melatonin with as much advil as my kidneys can tolerate and hoping for the best#disabilty pride month except instead of pride i feel nothing but apathy and discomfort#ngl i am getting more and more discouraged as time goes on bc i am getting less and less good days#and i am losing abilities ive always taken for granted#like being able to drive for longer than 20 minutes#or doing chores#or literally just being able to stand long enough to like cook a single without it using up all my energy for the day#not even exaggerating#i can at best cook one meal a day now#on bad days i cannot cook anything that cant just be microwaved or popped in the toaster#ever since i had covid last summer it seems like my health started getting worse at a much faster rate that it was before#my neurologist said it probably triggered cfs/me and that its basically a form a long covid#which fucking sucks so bad#like exercise helps some of my other conditions but i cannot exercise at all anymore without triggering a bad crash#there is no winning#siiiiiiiiiiigh#its fine though#we carry on
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money is so hard btw i hate it
#knowing ill have to decide between fixing my cello and paramore tickets as my Hyperfixiation Cost#its not rlly rhat but uts money i allocate to myself as like a Treat ? bc im stupud and to save money i gotta soend money on sgit i want#so . theyll cost abt the same. and ik itd a no brsiner paramors tickets#bc i can just get my cello fixed next pay cycle.#but i have been itching to play for SO LONG :(#and i thinl the longer i leave the damage to worse it gets#bc the bridge is tsped to the bridge w blu tac.#so um thars probably Not Good fornit lbr#anyway i miss my cello#found some sheet musicnim gonna print out anf practice#its mostly . old day6 n bts songs i lesnred in 2018#but . i also am gonna buy a piano book of taylor swift n . im gonna soend hours transcribing it Manually on my computer#this is gonna suck ass bc im not That Musically Inclined and i HATE creating musicnon thisnfuclijg software ngl#but i have No Choice so.#i have Plans#and bc i fucking Love checklists and to do listd i rlly dhould write this typenof shitbout in my journal thingy so i can . keep track of it#vc i did ir w my cleaning process !!#i checked off a few boxes and then added some more as i Unlocked new areas#or new tasks ig#idk sometimes i think od this shitbas a video game and it makes itbeasier toctackle
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[oc]
ok so, he's finished, im sick. im not gonna post him yet tho, i'll save him for when oc-tober starts so i can use him for one of the prompts.
#wip#tendebill art#tendebill ocs#personal#idk how i feel about the finished drawing yet#its hard to judge through the haze of having worked on it for like 2-3 hrs straight today#but i think i like it#anyway i have so many cool ideas for oc-tober prompts and im really hoping i can fill them :')))#side note im doing a prompt list i found on twitter#i might skip out on the palette week and the collab week#but im pumped to try and do all the others#also i only made three concept sketches for my diploma today#probably should have and could have made more#but depending on how i feel tomorrow i might have another day off lol#kinda hoping for that day off ngl#like im not saying im getting worse but i dont think i have the energy to re-enter society tomorrow#anyway#im gonna go draw some more stuff for oc-tober now
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ok the toolbox murders was not great and i have even lower expectations for its sequel considering it does Not have tobe hooper involved and went through some rights/distribution issues iirc but also its about fucked up torture-romance and ends in cannibalism, and boy if THAT isnt right up my alley
#like ive watched worse#ive 100% watched worse shit for lesser reasons. BUT.#its free on tubi and i have adblock so ill see how long it is and go from there#otherwise my tubi watchlist is getting obscenely fucking long and i need to narrow it down#there're a couple cary movies i still havent seen that r calling my name ngl#(tho ill probably save those for the midst of the cary bracket since itll be appropriate. timing-wise)
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