#like being able to drive for longer than 20 minutes

[spacejammie-eimmajecaps]

The thing about chronic pain is that I'll be experiencing the usual horrors (pain and discomfort that isn't possible to fully ignore) but I'm not even phased, like this is just a normal Wednesday night for me.

[heich0e]

keishin finally (finally) gets you into bed with him—well, onto couch with him, in his little one-room apartment in the back of sakanoshita mart—and he thinks all his prayers have finally been answered. thinks he's found some sort of cosmic apology for every misfortune he's ever suffered in how soft your lips are against his and how sweet you taste.

he knows he doesn't deserve this; that he hasn't done anything in his unremarkable life to merit how good you feel underneath his hands, or how dizzying those little noises you're making when he touches you are. but, against all odds, you're really here, you really want him, and he's determined not to fuck this up.

"keishin."

every time you say his name he feels like he's hearing it for the first time. like he's being blessed by it. it takes him a moment to process the way you've called for his attention as he suckles a little bruise against your throat, using every modicum of will he has left in him to pull away and meet your gaze.

you look so good underneath him on his ugly, ancient couch that it makes him ache. your lips glossy and swollen, your eyes heavy-lidded and yearning. you reach up and touch his cheek, and he can't tell if your hand is cool or his face is burning.

"do you have a condom?"

and all at once keishin comes crashing—violently, disastrously, crushingly—back to earth.

he blinks at you, wide-eyed, in the wake of your question. you seem to understand his answer even though he can't bring himself to say it.

"are there any in the shop?" you ask him, optimistic and gentle, with an encouraging smile.

keishin perks up—visibly brightening at your moment of genius—but as quickly as the hope uplifts him, he's deflating again. he pinches his bottom lip between his teeth.

"we're out right now," he murmurs sheepishly, suddenly unable to meet your gaze.

he only keeps a couple of boxes of condoms behind the counter at a time, since so few people ever come in asking for them. last week takinoue had showed up half-hammered two hours after closing, and banged on the shop door until keishin grumpily answered it. his drunk friend went on to explain that he'd gone out drinking with his colleague from work and she'd invited him home with her, but he desperately needed condoms. keishin chucked the last box at his stupid face, and yusuke swore up and down their next night out drinking would be his treat before skittering off into the night again with a grin from ear to ear.

he was going to kill yusuke with his bare hands the next time he saw him.

"keishin, it's okay," you say with a light laugh at the positively crestfallen look on his face. "we don't have to—"

"no!" keishin interrupts you before you can say the words he just cant bear to hear. not right now. not from you.

even if you promise him that this could happen again another time—that you don't have to go all the way tonight, that there will be other opportunities—he has no way of knowing if that's true. no way of guaranteeing it.

he's got a taste for you now. he knows what you sound like. he knows how you feel.

and he refuses to let this opportunity pass him by.

keishin pulls himself upright so quickly from where he'd been hovering overtop of you on his lumpy sofa that he almost gives himself whiplash. he stumbles up to his feet, brushing his bleached hair back from his eyes—he's not sure where or when he'd lost his hairband, but the strands are hanging freely now and falling into his gaze. he grabs his jacket from the floor where he'd hastily shucked it when the two of you stumbled through the door in the throes of passion.

"I'm just gonna run to shimada mart!" he says to you as he stuffs his arms ungracefully into the sleeves of his jacket, his words so frantic they're almost bleeding together. "it's only about 10 minutes away, if you just wait right here—"

"keishin."

"shouldn't be longer than 25 minutes! 20, even! i might even be able to get macchan to drive me back if—"

"keishin, wait."

your laughter makes him stop dead in his tracks, halfway to the door. he's only got one slide on his foot, the other still sock-clad, and in his haste he realizes he'd grabbed his television remote instead of his cellphone to shove into his coat pocket.

you've caught him by the sleeve of his jacket, holding the material pinched between your thumb and forefinger as you stare up at him from the sofa with the sweetest smile on your face. he's frozen as he peers down at you, his lips parted, his dick still half-hard in his jeans.

"don't go," you say to him, tugging him back towards you by your grip on his cuff. he moves easily, gravitating back into your orbit in spite of how gentle the actual pull had been.

"b-but,"—keishin casts a forlorn glance back in the direction of his apartment door—"what about the condoms?"

his voice cracks a little on the question and he has genuinely never wished so ardently for the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

you release his sleeve in favour of twining your fingers with his now that he's near to you again, your soft hand slipping easily into his own. that same dull ache in the pit of his core (and between his legs) throbs again as you blink up at him.

"i've been trying to tell you," you begin, a bit exasperated but not without its own fondness. you hesitate a little, looking away shyly before adding, "we don't... need one."

keishin thinks he might die.

really, genuinely die.

he wonders if maybe this is what the old man felt like when he almost keeled over from that heart attack last year, because keishin's pulse is pounding so violently in his head he feels like his vision is going a bit spotty around the edges—like when you stand up too fast after a night of drinking.

he's brought back to the moment as your hand squeezes his own—a gentle, questioning gesture.

your lashes flutter as you blink up at him, your head tilting slightly to the side. you smile a little at the dumbfounded look on his face.

"...if that's okay with you?"

(keishin pays for takinoue's drinks for the next six months, but never explains why.)

[mermaidgirl30]

✨Saving What Was Lost Part 1: You’re Safe With Me✨

Pre-Outbreak! Joel Miller x fem! reader

Series Masterlist

A/N: The first chapter is finally here, and I’m so excited to bring this to all the healing girlies that need a protective, soft Joel in their life 🥺 Thank you to @alltheirdamn and @mountainsandmayhem for screaming about them with me. This is raw, heavy, and very emotional. I hope you love it as much as I do 🥹 Screaming because I need a hug from this man 😭

Chapter Summary: The night of the auction, the night you’ll have to face your fate of being bought. But an unexpected man dips his money in and fights for you. His eyes are soft, kind, unlike all the other men. And maybe he’ll just be your saving grace.

Rating: Explicit 18+ only MDNI

Word Count: 13.9k

Chapter Tags: Mentions of being trafficked, flashbacks of being abused, non-consensual touching, a lot of angst, soft and protective Joel, emotional reader, trust issues, PTSD, no use y/n, age gap (reader is late 20’s, Joel is late 40’s), pre-outbreak au, switching POVs

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

  Red. That’s all you see, all you know. The dark crimson lipstick that stains your tainted lips, the cardinal curtains that drape across the buyer’s room, your bloodshot eyes that reflect in mirrors that you can barely stand to look into. It’s all just… red.

   You hate your reflection, hate the mascara that runs down your eyes night after night like the blood that covers your once white sheets, hate the way your voice is silenced even when you so desperately want to scream your lungs out. But it doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing matters because you’re about to be sold to the highest bidder who deems you worthy enough to claim. 

   You scoff, biting your tongue until you taste copper run down the back of your throat, the tears pooling to the surface against your lash line. 

   “Stop fucking crying and suck it up,” Angela spits out sharply. “You’re going to make me a lot of money today, sunshine. So put on a big smile for me and stop smudging your makeup. You want to go back with the girls who didn’t get chosen to go on to the next rounds?”

   “No,” you mewl, your eyes wide and rounded, your heart lodged in your throat. You know what their poor fates will be, and you’ve had enough abuse and horror to last more than a lifetime. 

   “Then get out there and stop fucking around. You’re driving my patience, girl. The men are waiting.” She narrows her beady blue eyes and curls her thin red lips into a scowl, pushing you forward and nearly making you trip over your strappy high heels, your ankles barely able to hold your fatigued legs up any longer. 

   Your heart thunders loudly in your chest, blood rushing through your ears, anxiety threatening to take you down at any minute. Angela would be at your back, digging her spiky heels into your spine, barking at you to move, but what does it matter anymore? You’re already dead. What’s one more scratch to your fragile body that has been violated in ways you’d never speak about aloud. 

   You’re just a vacant body that’s hollow and worn inside. A mere ghost that’s left this earth long ago, imprisoned to this life to bring pleasure to men who only inflict pain and torture on innocent souls. But there’s nothing you can do. Not a damn thing. You’re stuck like glue unless you find a way to just end everything. Then they’d never be able to touch you again because you’d be buried six feet under the dirt. But at least then you’d be at peace.

   You’ll never know peace again. Not in this lifetime. Not ever. 

   As you turn the sharp corner, the vibrant red curtains separate into a stage-like theater room. Draped material clings to the velvety walls, the color reminding you of death and destruction. You can almost see the imprinted blood stains of the girls who got dragged away by the strands of their fragile hair, leaving claw marks in the walls. 

   You can still hear the blood curdling screams from some of them left behind, a plea for anyone who was listening, begging for just one person to help. But no one did. Their desperate calls weren’t enough to even stir up a care in the world from any of the men, including your awful handler, Angela. They were just a number, a dollar sign to every single one of these insufferable men, and the only thing they cared about was power, control, and sex.

   You weren’t any different in this scenario. And tonight, your soul would be auctioned off. And then you’d be enslaved till your master either killed you, or you found a gun and pulled the trigger yourself to just silence it all.

   Your high heels click audibly against the polished stage, your feet dragging as you keep your eyes peeled to the floor like a good submissive. “Keep your head down, don’t ever look them in the eyes. Be the good slut they want you to be and maybe they won’t punish you as much.” That’s what Angela always said for all those unbearable months you lived under her roof, and it was engraved like stone in your mind, imprinted words that might as well be tattooed on your wrist. 

   You were taken at twenty-six, now a twenty-seven-year-old fucked up girl who doesn’t even know what state she’s in. It’s been a year, maybe two. You don’t fucking know anymore. All you know is that you want to die. 

   You learned to be submissive, small-minded, belittled, pliant. And the worst part, she taught you to say thank you to your abusers after they were finished having their filthy ways with you night after night…

   You were nothing but a collared bitch who forgot how to say the word no. You were their prized possession now, and your body wasn’t your own anymore.

   “Ahhh. There she is. There’s my favorite slut of them all.” The word slut cuts you like a sharp knife penetrating deep through your skin, sinking down to stab you right where it hurts worst. “Why don’t you give us a spin, princess? Show these gentlemen what you’ve got to offer. Give them a show.” Garrett’s cackled voice booms through the large room, sending goosebumps down the base of your spine. You never liked him, especially when he cornered you in the bathroom, pushing you against the tile until he forced you down on your knees and told you to suck or he’d wring your neck.

   Your eyes press closed at the traumatic memory, teardrops threatening to spill at any moment. You just do what you're told and keep your quivering lips together, your long nails brushing against your bare thighs. The midnight blue dress barely covers your ass, the diamond earrings and pearl necklace weighing you down like a heavy anchor, tethering you to the ocean floor. Your cleavage spills out from the low-cut v shape of the top, breasts almost on full display because Angela said the men would just love it. You hate it, hate her but there’s not a damn thing you can do about any of it. You’re a slave and nothing more than a fuck toy and a quick money maker for the sex traffickers. 

   You wish you felt more human, but you’re just… not. Most days you can’t even remember your full name, nevertheless your favorite time of year. Being holed up in a horror house for over a year will do that to a girl. Make them forget their entire identity. And that’s exactly what happened to you. 

   Now you’re just… dust. 

   “Alright, boys. Shall we start this off with let’s say, ten thousand dollars?” Garrett’s sharp voice zaps like lightning through your nerves, and your whole body is visibly shaking now. His cold emerald eyes look like a viper about to strike its prey, and his smug smirk makes you want to curl in on yourself, hide yourself so he’ll never be able to torture you again. 

   You hear sounds of squeaking chairs, men cursing under their breath, whistles being thrown around like they’re catcalling you. They are catcalling you. But instead of harmless whistles, they’re poisonous fangs reaching for your skin, trying to seep their venom deep in your veins, claim you as their own. You fucking hate it.

   Taking a deep breath, you focus on the plush of the black carpet around the stage, try to pretend it’s lush green grass instead, like you’re running through the woods, escaping far far away from these bad men.

   “Come on, love. Don’t be shy. Show me those pretty eyes, so I can see just how gorgeous you’ll be down on your knees, pleasuring me with that pretty mouth of yours.” A man vulgarly shouts at you, the other men’s loud laughter echoing around the room, making you want to curl into a ball and die right on the spot so none of these men can lay a finger on you.

   Breathe. Focus. Don’t lose hope. Keep fighting. The words echo through your mind, but you’re so lost that it’s hard to keep going. You’re going to die under one of their hands anyway, so what does it matter? 

   “Did you hear him, princess? Chin up and look at him.” Garrett’s tone is stern and demanding, and you don’t flinch a second because you know what will happen if you do.

   When your eyes snap up, you come face to face with an older man who has cold blue eyes, spiky bleached blonde hair, and a jawline that could cut a man’s body in half. He has an evil glint in his eye, and it’s so revolting that it makes you want to puke. “Ten thousand you say? I’ll take her.” A devilish smirk marks his mouth, and fear strikes through your insides as fast as a lightning bolt. 

   No. Not him. Anyone but him. He looks like he’s murdered people, and you have no doubt that he’s killed women he’s bought before. 

   Fear slices through you, but you can’t run, can’t even move. Your feet are nailed to the wooden floor of the stage, and you know he sees how scared you are in your swirling irises filled with fright.

   “And shall we go up to fifteen thousand? Any takers?” Garrett looks around the room and two hands go up, but you’re too tired to look to see who they are.

   The bets continue, slowly climbing all the way to forty-five thousand dollars. An amount that is insane for a broken body who doesn’t even want to be breathing anymore. 

   Men scream and fight, shouting different prices, trying to win you over, making Garrett slam his fist down and sell you to the highest bidder. You don’t want to listen, don’t want to hear their rambling nonsense anymore. You just want to go to sleep and never wake up again. Maybe then you won’t feel any pain anymore. Maybe then you’ll find peace.

   More chants and vulgar noises come from the men’s mouths, their hungry eyes glued to you, their lips smacking and fingers digging into the velvet of their seats. Some men adjust themselves in their fancy suits, tongues darting out, wetting their salivating lips. And it’s so disgusting that it makes you nearly vomit on the floor, but Angela would have your head for that. So you just stand there helplessly and wait because that’s all you can do. 

   You’re their ragdoll, and they can do whatever the fuck they want with you. You have no say and trying to fight would just make everything that much worse. 

   Minutes go by, ridiculous numbers flying around the room, the air stifling and sticky, your body fizzing with anxiety, a panic attack creeping up against the surface, threatening to take you down in mere seconds.

   Don’t freak out, don’t freak out, don’t freak…

   “Sixty thousand dollars.” Your eyes dart up, panic flashing across your irises. You find a man you hadn’t seen in the very back, and you have to squint to make him out in the shadows of the corner of the room.

   Your mouth nearly drops open at the amount he just said but apparently, these men are dripping with copious amounts of money. 

   You take a few seconds to assess him, your eyes glued to his large form against the velvet recliner he sits in, palms pressed firmly into the sunken arms of the chair. His body is broad, tensed, thick veins spidering down his tanned forearms, a black Rolex watch clasped to his left wrist. He’s clad in a white button-up shirt, black dress pants pressed against sculpted thighs. He’s dressed like all the other filthy rich men, but this one stands out amongst the rest. There’s just something about him that’s different. 

   He drags a heavy hand down his patchy scruff, greying threads shining under the dim light. His tousled sandy hair is slicked back, silver streaks giving away his older age. He looks to be in maybe his late forties, if that. A thick mustache hangs over his plush mouth, but what draws you in the most isn’t anything about his physical appearance but the way he’s looking at you. Soft, gentle brown eyes that have no violence swirling in them like the rest of the men. While the others look at you like a raw piece of meat, he doesn’t follow their lead. In fact, his gaze never hovers, never draws down your body. They just stay locked entirely on your eyes.

   His eyes are soft, dark brown pools with honey flecks glittering in the darkness that surrounds you. They aren’t cold, unfeeling like the rest of the men’s are. They’re… soft. And that alone almost brings you to your knees in relief.

   “Sixty-one thousand,” the spiky blonde hair challenges, piercing his icy blue eyes on you, making you want to hurl at the thought of that one winning you over. 

   “Sixty-two,” the mysterious man in the corner barters. Your eyes snap up to his until you hear Angela’s venomous words spew in your mind. Eyes on the ground unless you’re getting spoken to. Your gaze involuntarily falls to the polished wood, and you hear her click her tongue behind the fancy curtains. You’re nothing but a disappointment to her most days. Never perfect, always pathetic. 

   You bite your lower lip in panic, digging your heel as far into the floor as it’ll go, your nails biting into the palms of your hand, almost to the point of blood being drawn. 

   “Sixty-three!” The blonde pushes out of his chair angrily, his fists balled at his sides, getting frustrated with the man that challenges him. 

   Please, please, please. Don’t let him take me. 

   Praying was something you gave up on long ago but at this moment, you really have nothing left to hold on to. You can only silently beg for the man with brown eyes to win the bid. 

   “Sixty-five,” the brown-eyed man growls, his voice clipped and harsh, letting the blonde know he isn’t going to lose this fight. The blonde glares at him, anger fuming in his icy eyes, a deep snarl embedded in his mouth. You’re almost positive that’s how he’d look night after night hovering over your bed if he were the one to win, but you can’t think about that now. All you can do is wait. 

   “Do I hear sixty-six?” Garrett smiles, his eyes flicking between the two men who look like they’re about to duel in an old western shootout. You already know the brown-eyed man would win. 

   The blonde’s jaw ticks, and he holds back violence in his flexed fingers. After a few unbearable seconds of waiting, he slowly shakes his head and sits back down in defeat. “No. Guess he gets to take home and fuck the whore however he likes.”

   Anger flashes over the broad man’s brown irises, and a murderous stare penetrates his gaze. He clenches a fist tightly, and a part of you thinks he may jump out of his seat and beat him to a bloody pulp, but he doesn’t. And for some reason, your breath is completely knocked from your lungs.

   The deep boom of Garrett’s tone makes you jump from surprise, stirring you from your deep thoughts. “And sold, to the man at the back of the house! Congratulations. You got our rarest gem tonight. Aren’t you so lucky.” 

   The brown-eyed man’s jaw clenches for just a second, but he relaxes it instantly. Walking up to the front of the room, he throws on his pressed black jacket, straightening it as he walks past the deranged men, following Garrett as he leads him to the side where he’ll transfer the money and make it official. You’re his now, and there’s nothing you can do about it. 

   Angela grabs your elbow harshly, pinching skin and drags you off the stage. She should be happy you just got sold, but she’s still acting like you belong to her. “Look at you getting fought over. You just earned me a shiny paycheck. But don’t forget your place, brat. You’re just a body to these men, and you’re here to please them. Sex is what they want, and your new master will surely punish you even more than all the other men at the house did to you.”

   A sick feeling twists up your stomach, threatening to empty your lunch remains from yesterday on the floor, right on top of her shiny stilettos, but you wouldn’t dare. She’d probably kill you herself before your new buyer even got you in the car.

   Suddenly, you realize you won’t have to deal with her backhanded remarks or abusive commands anymore. No more late nights of being held down on the ground and no more non consensual touching from strangers. 

   A feeling like freedom washes over your senses, relieving you of some tension, but you won't be truly free. Not really because you just got sold, and you know nothing about this man. Even if his eyes were kind doesn’t mean that’s who he really is. Men pretend with you all the time.

   When she pushes you up the stairs that lead to the back of the room, the blonde stands and blocks your way, an angry leer in his eyes while he skims his gaze down your exposed body. Something like panic and sickness stir inside you, an unwelcome hand brushing over your bare thigh, his hand sliding higher under your short skirt. Angela just stands back and lets him take advantage, and you have nowhere to run.

   “Well, looks like I won’t be taking you home after all, but I’m sure your new master won’t mind sharing you before you leave, right?” A sly smirk curls against his thin lips, his eyes smoldering with ice and mischief, making you feel extremely small in the moment.

   “I don’t think..”

   “Shut up, whore,” he silences you, wrapping a tight arm around your waist, snaking his hand higher and higher, brushing his fingertips over the thin material of your lacy thong. Anxiety floods your senses, panic taking over. You try to pull away, but he just presses you tighter against his body.

   Where the fuck is he? Where is your master? You’re not supposed to be touched after being bought, at least not by another man. Unless it’s agreed upon by him explicitly. 

   He skims across the outer edge of your lace, his slimy fingers feeling like hot lava boiling you alive. You want to run, hide, scream into his twisted face, but you have no more fight in you. You’re paralyzed by fright and right now,  Angela doesn’t give a single fuck if one of these sick freaks pins you against the floor and takes advantage of you.

   Right when you feel a warm teardrop leak from your eyes and a long finger pull against the thin fabric, a loud smack echoes around the room, and his body is thrown to the ground, blonde hair flitting across your peripheral vision. Your eyes blow wide when you realize what just happened. Your new master just punched the blonde man’s nose and tackled him to the floor, and you can’t stop staring in complete shock.

   “What the fuck man! What was that for?” The blonde tenses up and pinches his broken nose where blood is spewing on the floor in a thick pool, staining the black cuffs of his suit.

   “Mine,” he growls protectively, shoving him once more for good measure. He pulls himself up from the floor and straightens his button-up, ticking his jaw and scowling at the coward lying in pain on the floor. 

   Your jaw goes slack, and your heart thunders impossibly fast in your chest at what just happened. He saved you from getting taken advantage of. Why would he do that? You should thank him, but you’re stunned in silence. 

   He gives you a once over to make sure you’re unharmed and when he’s content, he tips his head toward the open door, signaling for you to follow. ���C’mon.” It’s all he says, but you follow nonetheless, desperate to get out of this cesspool. 

   You take one more glance back at the carnage of the room, collecting the memory of the blood red curtains and taking the fancy velvet seats to your grave. The reflective mirrors make you gag, and the wooden stage makes your legs shake at the implication of what it means to be up on that high platform. It makes you sick to your stomach.

   You were just auctioned off and hopefully, you’d never have to step foot into this room ever again. 

   Trailing after him, you stay close. Close enough to inhale the woodsy cologne that drips off his body. You don’t know why, but there’s an odd comfort in the scent. Like fresh pines and a brisk fall day. Something you haven’t got to experience since… you can’t even remember now.

   The guards at the front let you pass, and it’s almost like it’s a trick. Just one more step and they’d be dragging you back by the crown of your head, not even sorry for ripping strands from your skull. You tense up and wait, but nothing happens. They just let you go. And suddenly, tears are pooling in your vision. 

   You wipe away the evidence, afraid your new master will scold you for shedding a tear. Maybe he wouldn’t, but you have so much trauma embedded in you that it’s like it’s an automatic response. 

   Back at the house, Angela would smack you across the cheek if she caught you crying for any reason. She always said tears were a weakness, and she wouldn’t have one of her girls going into a man’s room looking like a train wreck. So even crying brings out the trauma responses. You fucking hate that you can’t show emotion without getting a whiplash of her snide demands.

   You’re broken, and you don’t think you’ll ever be repairable.

   The air is chilly, a full moon hanging high in the night sky, bright stars blinking every couple of seconds behind grey clouds. The trees are mixed with a swirl of colors: yellows, oranges, deep reds that remind you of the shed blood back at the house.

   You shake your head out of the fog and focus on the smell of fresh air and a hint of spice. It has to be the end of September or October. Maybe November? God, you don’t even know what month it is or where the hell you are. This isn’t home. Not anywhere close at all. You know because there’s no deep green mountains or endless forests in sight. Home is nowhere to be found…

   The tall man walks you to a dark black Chevy, unlocking the passenger door and opening it wide for you. He doesn’t touch you, doesn’t even offer you a hand. He just stares at you with a slight tick to his jaw, tilting his head to signal you forward. Your body responds in an instant. 

   You climb in, feeling the cool leather on your exposed skin, pulling on the bottom of your dress to cover yourself more, but it barely even moves an inch. It’s no use trying. He’ll probably have your dress ripped off in less than an hour. You’re surprised you even made it this far without him pinning you down to your hands and knees. 

   Shaking the sick images from your mind, you let the invading thoughts float far away as he closes the passenger door. He wouldn’t do that to you. He’s not like those other men. He couldn’t be. He attacked a man for you, but maybe it’s just because he doesn’t like other men touching his property. 

   That’s what you are. Property. That’s all you’ll ever be.

   It doesn’t take him long to appear in the driver’s seat, clicking his seatbelt into place and turning the key in the ignition, letting the rumble of the engine rev to life. You sit back in the passenger seat and try to breathe, letting air pool into your tight lungs. 

   The inside of the truck may be warm, but your body is freezing just thinking of what that blue-eyed demon was going to do to you back there. Panic consumes your insides, making you violently shake in your seat. Your eyes gloss over and then you feel as if you drown in a frozen lake, frostbite making its way across your flushed skin.

   “Whoa, easy there. S’alright now. You’re alright,” he coos, quickly throwing off his jacket and wrapping you in the warmth, draping your arms through the long sleeves and bundling up inside the blanket-like material. 

   Warm. It’s so warm and for the moment, your body relaxes just enough to relieve yourself of the onslaught panic attack. Your erratic breathing shortens, and then you can finally think clearly again, breaking away from the thick fog.

   Your eyes flick over to his, and there’s nothing but pure concern laced in his golden-brown irises. “You alright?” The question confuses you, and you stare blankly his way. There’s nothing hostile or violent in his eyes. They’re just… soft. Like they were back in the auction room. The first time you stared into anything remotely warm since you were taken.

   He lifts an eyebrow in question, and you finally register that he wants you to answer. “Mhm,” is all you can muster out, your words lodged deep in the back of your throat. Men don’t ask you how you’re feeling, so why is he?

   He looks at you for another beat, nodding his head once before you drop your gaze back to your lap like the submissive you should be. Don’t make eye contact. That’s showing control, and you’re not in control. Angela’s taunting words will follow you to the grave, you just know it. 

   He looks like he wants to say something else, but he holds his tongue and lets the truck roll to the long gravel road ahead.

   A sudden realization hits you like a car crash. No more Angela, no more Garrett, no more assaulters crowding your broken body. You’re free. Of them, at least. But your new master? Not so much. 

   The ride is silent apart from the soft rumble of the truck, tires spinning along the quiet road, moonlight shining through the tinted window, reflecting shiny stars in the side mirrors. You haven’t been outside in months, and the sight of a clear night sky makes you want to burst into tears. 

   “What’s your name, sweetheart?” His deep, soothing voice lilts into your ears, and you gulp at the sweet nickname he uses.

   Sweetheart. The men back at the house only called you crude, filthy names. Slut, whore, and bitch were their favorites. But no one ever called you sweetheart. Not ever.

   You take a deep breath in before you speak, afraid your vocal cords will shred apart the moment you tell him what it is. But when he looks over at you all soft again, you break. You tell him your name quietly and avert your gaze back down to your pale thighs. 

   Your name rolls off his tongue like honey, and you can’t help but fight the tug of a smile curling over your lips. He said your name and for once in your life, a little part of you clicked back together. 

   Bravery seeps into your body, and you cautiously peek up and ask something you’ve wondered since you saw his dark brown eyes in the corner of the room. “And your name?”

   His gaze flicks over to you, and for a moment you think his hand might fly out and smack you across the face. You flinch, remembering the sting of every hit your abusers marked you with. Your palm mechanically brushes over your cheek, and you swear you can feel the bright red welts they’d leave on your tainted skin.

   The muscles in his jaw tick as he watches you, assessing your shaky movements. It’s like he can see the pain deep down in your soul, and you don’t understand why he’d care about that. 

   He clears his throat and answers, his eyes attentive to the dark road ahead. “Joel Miller.” 

   You don’t know what to answer to that, so you stay quiet and lean against the window, looking out into the thick fog of darkness. 

   After he sees you trying to decipher your surroundings, his thick Southern drawl fills the quiet. “Do you know what month it is?”

   “No,” you answer solemnly, eyes still focused on the blurring background as the truck drives on.

   “Do you know what state you’re in?”

   “No,” you shake your head, eyes closing for less than two seconds. 

   He sighs, and you see him drag a hand slowly through his scruff. “It’s the middle of October. You’re in Texas. Jus’ a little north of Austin. That’s where we’re headed now. Jus’ about forty minutes away.”

   Texas? Well, that’s a very very long way from home. But you don’t have a home anymore, so what does it matter?

   “Oh.” 

   “Home,” he says hesitantly. “Is it anywhere close to here for you?” 

   You swallow back a lump in your throat and shake your head no, curling in on the warm jacket that envelopes your tired body.

   When you don’t speak again, Joel flicks his eyes slowly to you, his thumb tapping quietly against the leather steering wheel. “Where’s home at, sweetheart?”

   You flinch at the endearing name. It sounds like a knife dragging down a dirty chalkboard if you’re being honest with yourself. You’re nothing but a dirty slut. And that’s exactly what he should be calling you. Not sweetheart, not baby, just… slut.

   When the truck comes to a halt at a dimly lit stop sign, he looks over once more at you, his eyes a dark shade of chocolate. “Washington,” is all you can muster up, thinking you owe him an answer. You can’t even say Seattle without the word getting stuck in your throat. 

   His eyes widen and something like softness resides deep in his warm irises. “You’re an awfully long way from home, aint ya?”

   Quiet. His voice is too quiet, too… sad. And you don’t know what to take that as.

   Tears swim up to the surface, pooling in the corners of your eyes, but you hold them back. Don’t show him you’re weak. “I don't have a home anymore…” 

   His mouth turns down in a tight-lipped frown, and he looks so defeated that you can’t quite understand why he would be. He doesn’t care about you. He never will. He’ll bleed you dry until you have nothing left. That’s what Angela said. And it’s ingrained like a sickness that won’t leave your body. Permanent damage that’ll leave scars like the ones that etch the back of your raised skin. 

   You’re nothing but a vacant body to use. 

   “What about your family? They must be lookin’ for you.”

   Your fingers dig into the silk of your dress, and you almost let them tear right through. “I don’t have a family,” you whisper quietly.

   You feel his careful stare waver over you, but you don’t have the energy to look up. “No? Surely someone’s lookin’ for you. They have to be. A girl like you—”

   “A girl like me what?” you snap, quick to pull back your reins. The last thing you want to do is get backhanded from talking too loudly.

   “Take it easy now,” he presses, his voice gentle and soothing. Almost enough to consume some of your sadness. “ All I’m sayin’ is someone has got to be searchin’ for you. Your parents?”

   You bite your bottom lip hard, chewing the glossy skin that’s marked with invisible bruises. “My parents are dead.”

   Silence carves through the inside of the moving vehicle, but you hear the faint whisk of shock leave his mouth. “Oh. I’m… fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t know…”

   “How could you have? You don’t know me,” you shrug, leaning closer against the smooth interior of the door, your head resting against the cool window that’s doused in fog and sorrow.

   “Well, I’m tryin’, sweetheart. I really am. Do you have anyone else? Maybe an uncle or cousin or—”

   “No,” you interrupt. “They’re all gone… I have nothing.”

   His hands clench tight over the steering wheel, his knuckles turning ghost white, and his jaw ticks like something just deeply upset him. Your eyes fall back to your thighs, but you can feel the weight of his body tightening up against the back of the seat. 

   He doesn’t say anything else, doesn’t ask you any more questions. There’s just a thick silence that encompasses the cool air. And the only thing that keeps you warm now is the comfortable jacket that envelops you like a tight hug. A hug you desperately need. But you don’t want to be touched. 

   Not now, not ever again… 

   You’re almost fading off to sleep, the minutes ticking down painfully slow, but the rustle of gravel stirs you enough to where your eyes snap open in surprise. You gulp at the view in front of you. A large, lavish house with floor to ceiling windows and expensive wood panelling.         

   Your eyes peel to the thick brush of trees that expand into darkness behind the giant house. And for just a second, you feel like running far far away into the expanse of darkness. Maybe it’d swallow you whole till you were nothing but a ghost beneath the ground.

   The truck finally comes to a halt and then the engine cuts off. Your body hums with electricity. The kind that threatens to strike you dead. Joel unlocks the truck with a click, and he tilts his head toward the house. “C’mon. Follow me.”

   Your body hesitates, but the anxiety of lagging behind and getting punished sends you nearly jumping from your seat and out the door of the truck. Your feet hit gravel and you follow silently behind him, eyes fixed to the grass as your high heels click after him. 

   You feel like a puppet he’s strung behind him, your limbs moving without your permission. But he hasn’t done anything to you, so why are you panicking? And then your shoulders hunch with knowing. It’s the trauma that’s engraved like permanent ink from a tattoo deep inside your skin.

   You’ll never be able to escape it. Not even when you’re dead and gone.

   When you get to the front double doors, he slips a key in and turns, pushing it open with the flick of his wrist. Your eyes blow wide when you enter the massive house. A sparkling chandelier hangs high above the entryway. A marble staircase sits to the right side of what looks to be the living room. Polished wood covers every inch of the flooring. Exposed beams fill the ceiling, and the white painted walls don’t seem to have a speck of dirt on any of the surfaces. 

   It’s only a two story house, but it seems much bigger than that. Well over three thousand square feet. But the earthy textures and wooden trimmings of the house make it seem less like a prison and more like a, dare you say, home. 

   Home. This is your home now. And whether you’re happy about it or not, there’s not much you can do. Your body tells you to run, but there’s a tiny slither of a voice inside you that says you’re safe. 

   Safe. A word that means nothing anymore. You haven’t been safe in over a year, and a part of you thinks you’ll never be again…

   “C’mon. I’ll show you where your room is.”

   You stop in the middle of the entryway, your brow furrowed at his sentence. “My room?” 

   He nods. “Yes, your room.” He reiterates the word your, saying it like it’s spelled out in capital letters. You think he does it for your sake, to let you know again that this is a safe place.

   “You mean I don’t have to sleep in your room…” Your voice betrays you. Fear and panic flooding your eyes at the thought of having to be forced into another man’s bed. You quickly shake the awful memories from your thoughts, afraid to slip into another panic attack.

   His jaw clenches up, but his eyes soften into warm pools of brown when he sees the distress in your wide eyes. “No, darlin’. Not gonna make you do that.”

   “Oh,” is all you can muster out. That’s… new.

   He nods his head to the staircase, and you take that as your cue to follow. He doesn’t touch you, doesn’t put his hand on the small of your back, doesn’t make you go first so he can stare up your dress. And you can’t decipher why he bought you in the first place. 

   Maybe he’s waiting till later to snatch you away into his room, maybe drag you to the floor and climb on top of you. The flashbacks make you sick to your stomach, and you’re having a hell of a time keeping it all inside. 

   You distract yourself with the rustic art that hangs on the pristine walls, reflecting off the marble staircase you climb. Pictures of deer, horses, shiny lakes, deep green forests, like the ones in Washington, scatter around the walls in various shapes. And it calms the anxiety that’s rolling like a violent storm through your mind. 

   A long, dimly lit hallway stands at the top of the steps, another sits on the opposite side of the long archway that overlooks a grand living room, leather couches, and a grand piano sitting in the left corner, right next to a picturesque window that overlooks a sea of trees. It’s just as lavish as other men’s homes, the ones where they’d throw parties for all their friends to indulge in the trafficked girls, but this one doesn’t feel like that at all, strangely. 

   His low timbre pulls you out of the fog, and you find him standing by an open door, the first one on the left. “This is where you’ll be stayin’ at.”

   You follow him into the room and gasp at what lies ahead of you. A queen-sized bed with clean white sheets and a light purple comforter sits in the middle of the room, some new clothes folded neatly on the edge of the bed. A walk-in closet sits to the left side of the room, and it looks to be fully stocked with a colorful array of shoes and clothes that still have their tags connected to the material. To the right is a large bathroom that smells like fresh roses and fragrant perfume, but you’re too stunned to walk in and see. The walls are painted in soft muted colors, and the lilac curtains drape loosely over the expansive back window. You almost cry when you see a sea of dark trees in the distance. They remind you of home. 

   You miss Washington, you miss when you had a home, you miss having a family…

   “I bought you some clothes. Hopefully they fit alright. If not then I can get you more, but I’m hopin’ you feel comfortable in them.”

   Your fingertips trace over the soft material of the various shades of t-shirts, hoodies, sweatpants, and shorts, your brain muted and fuzzy because there’s not a gown or short dress in sight anywhere in the room. That’s all you wore back at the house, all you know how to wear. And the sight of comfortable, unrevealing clothes makes your eyes glossy with tears. 

   You feel his weight shift behind you, but yet he still stands more than a foot back, not daring to touch you. You should thank him, get down on your knees and show him just how much you appreciate this, but you can’t. Because the thought of that makes you want to throw yourself over the lavish wood railing of the staircase. Angela would be so disappointed in you.

   When you say nothing, he clears his throat and then you turn to face him. “You must be starvin’. Let me go fix you something. You like chicken?”

   Your jaw drops, and you’re stunned silent from the ask. He’s asking if you like chicken? 

   He gives you a minute to respond, but all you can squeak out is, “What?”

   “Do you like chicken?” His voice comes out softer, more tender. Why isn’t he raising his voice? Why isn’t he smacking you across the cheek for taking too long to answer him? 

   “I—I… yes,” you finally whisper out, your eyes glued to the shine of his polished boots. 

   “Okay then. It’s settled. I’ll get something fixed up real quick. You can come down when you’re ready. Jus’ please, feel free to wear what you want. Find something comfortable, whatever it may be. All these clothes are yours now. I imagine you wanna get out of that dress you’re in.” His eyes flick down to your midnight blue dress for just a second, but he doesn’t lock his eyes on your body. No. There’s a flash of something like hurt in his deep brown eyes. 

   You tug his fancy black jacket further around you, letting its warmth wrap you tight to keep away the flashbacks of grabbing hands and torn shreds of material on the floor while your body was torn apart…

   “Hey.” His mellow voice breaks you away from the nightmarish thoughts. “You okay?” A deep wrinkle furrows against his tanned forehead, and something like concern washes down his soft brown eyes.

   “Mhm,” you hum, suddenly realizing you’re still wearing his jacket. You quickly shed it and try to hand it off to him, afraid he’d rip it from your body if you kept it on for too long.

   He presses a palm out to stop you and just shakes his head, a tousled curl escaping the gel in his slicked back sandy hair. “Keep it.” 

   Your outstretched arm falls to the side and so does the jacket to the floor. He pays no mind to it falling to the ground, not even flinching when it hits the plush carpet. Why didn’t he scold you for dirtying up his things?

   “I’ll be downstairs. Let me know if you need anything. I’ll let you have some space. And please, take your time.” He turns and walks out the door, letting it shut softly. And then you’re all alone, in a strange place that’s now yours. 

   Your eyes don’t lift till he’s gone, a bad habit that’s been ingrained into your very core. You’re not supposed to look them in the eye, not unless they say. But Joel? He doesn’t tell you to keep your eyes on the ground. 

   Slowly casting your eyes away from the cream carpet, you find yourself at the edge of the bed again, your fingertips hovering over a pair of grey sweats and a navy t-shirt. Turning around to make sure the door is still closed, you quickly peel off the midnight blue dress that’s tainted from dirty hands and prying eyes. You let it fall to the floor in a messy heap and throw on the large t-shirt and comfy sweatpants. 

   Looking at your bare arms, you decide it’s not enough, so you find a dark grey jacket deep in the closet and zip it up to the very top, so no exposed skin or scars are left to be seen by his dark eyes. You still feel completely bare, even with a pair of long pants and a long sleeved jacket. But that’s because in the last year, even if you did have actual clothes on, they were just torn away and ripped apart, and you have the scars to prove it.

   Carefully bending down and picking up the wadded up dress, you smooth it out and run your fingers over the sheer material, almost tempted to put it back on because that’s what you should be wearing. Not some oversized t-shirt and sweatpants. You don’t look presentable, not in these clothes. You should always dress to entertain the men, always have your hair perfect and your makeup just right, always have a smile on your face and say thank you for every single thing they do to you…

   Your body starts to shake violently as you look up to find yourself standing in the reflection of the closest mirror, the mini dress held up to your body, fingers curling over the muddled memories of dinner parties that ended with you and other innocent girls face down on the table with your legs spread.

   Your bottom lip trembles as you look at the twenty-seven-year-old girl staring back in the mirror. You don’t recognize her anymore. Stained blood red lips and long wavy curls, your eyeliner smudging, and the dark creases beneath your eyes telling you just how exhausted and battered your body is. You’re wrecked. Completely and utterly shattered, torn to shreds. And you just don’t know how you’ll ever find yourself again. Because the girl you knew before is long gone. And now? Now you just feel… lost. 

   The tears that pool in your eyes fall like raindrops that pelt the outside window, your body humming with anxious thoughts and a blur of emotions. And the dress burns like fire beneath your palms; every second you hold it brands another forgotten memory into your brain, and then you just crack like shattered glass.

   You tear the dress to shreds, taking out all your anger and resentment on the sheer material, pulling it apart till it’s only unrecognizable scraps on the floor. And you let your tears soak them, stain them just like every single one of those men did to your body. Even Angela. 

   You hate them, you hate yourself, you hate the way they made you feel. Useless and disgusting, a piece of meat they could chew on whenever they pleased. 

   You spend the next half hour crying over what you did, regretting ruining the dress, the one thing you could’ve kept with you, a fragile memory that you should’ve held on to. But that wouldn’t be healing to you. But at this rate, you don’t think you ever will heal.

   You forget about dinner, forget where you even are. Joel had to come get you and lead you down to the kitchen. And yet, he still didn’t touch you. Not even once. And you just don’t understand why he won’t touch you. Not that you want to be touched. You don’t. You just expect it now. 

   When you finally make it to the kitchen, you decide on a black barstool and take your place there at the sleek kitchen island that’s swirled in shiny white quartz. And when he sets a warm plate of chicken Alfredo noodles and a glass of cold water in front of you, you just stare with wide-eyes at the hot meal before you. 

   The savory Alfredo dinner taunts you as it sits right in front of you, screaming at you to just take one bite. Your stomach churns and rumbles with the scent of a put together homemade meal. When was the last time you had one of those? Maybe two years ago. 

   You keep your eyes peeled to the polished wooden floor, your fingers twisted tight against the sweatpants that hang loosely around your thighs. Your body is yelling at you to eat, but you can’t make yourself move, can’t do anything. You were never allowed carbs back at the house, wasn’t even allowed to eat until the men were done. Angela once pulled your hair and pushed your face into the floor when you dared to take a bite before they were finished. And now you can’t even get yourself to chance that again. Even if Joel never would, you feel as if Angela will come charging around the corner just waiting for you to make one wrong move. 

   You’re so very broken…

   “What’s wrong? Do you not like it? I can make you something else.” Joel’s voice is etched in concern, but you only have the strength to shake your head. 

   “No. It’s fine. It’s—it’s great. It’s just…” Your breath is shaky, just like your hands. And you can’t seem to look up from the floor. 

   Don’t ever look them in the eyes. You’re not in control. You have no power. You flinch at Angela’s spiteful words. You wish you could just drown them out, forget everything she ever taught you. 

   “You haven’t even touched your food, sweetheart.” A tear licks at the corner of your eye, but you don’t dare let it fall. 

   “I—uhh. I…” You’re pathetic. You can’t even look him in the eye at the table. Not even when he’s standing across from you, staring at you with those soft brown eyes you know are boring into yours. 

   “Can you look up for me, sweetheart?” The pain in his deep timbre cracks something inside you, and your eyes snap up to meet his. “There ya go. Attagirl.” You wince at the word because it sounds like praise, and you don’t deserve that at all. You deserve to be scolded. 

   “Wanna tell me why you’re not eating?” You choke on your voice when you see those soft brown honey eyes. You’ve never been looked at quite like that. Not with kindness or concern or anything genuine before. And it makes you want to cry.

   You take a deep, steady breath and pray you can muddle some coherent words out because you’re about to spill something very personal that you’re not quite ready to share. “Back at the house… they wouldn’t let us eat until the men were done. We—we’d get punished if we disobeyed.” You flinch at the painful memories but press on. “We weren’t allowed to eat carbs. And some days they’d just starve us to teach us a lesson. I can’t even remember the last time I had a decent meal…”

   Joel’s fingers flex against the sink, his nails digging into the metal, his jaw clenched and something like pain and understanding lit up in his honey-colored eyes. He looks like he actually feels your pain, and you can’t comprehend how he’d possibly know what that pain is like. 

   He nods his head and darts his tongue along his bottom lip in response. “I uhh—Jesus. I’m sorry, sweetheart. That’s fuckin’ awful. I can’t imagine how that must’ve been. But please, eat. You’re allowed to eat anything you want now. You want sweets, sugar, greasy pizza? Then it’s yours. You’re allowed to eat in peace here. There’s no rules in this house. I want you to be able to eat. So please, don’t ever wait for me. You jus’ go on and enjoy.” 

   It takes you a couple of minutes to find enough courage to pick up the silver fork, but you do it. And that right there is a step in the right direction. 

   The first bite slides down your throat slowly and when you swallow, it’s like a slice of heaven to your insides. You quickly take another, devouring the delicious noodles, letting the savory taste melt against your tastebuds, groaning silently at what a real meal should taste like. It’s not cold soup or oatmeal or dry lettuce. It’s actual food. 

   You somehow forget Joel is watching, and it takes you two whole seconds until your cheeks are burning with embarrassment. He’s looking straight at you, watching you enjoy from a safe distance, and you swear you see a small smile curled against his lips. He hasn’t even touched his food. All he seems to care about is that you’re eating. And that makes you feel extremely guilty.

   You take a paper napkin and wipe the Alfredo sauce from your lips, letting the red lipstick smear across the napkin, suddenly fully aware you just ruined your makeup. 

   Flashbacks of getting slapped across the face course through your body, making you sick to your stomach. Don’t smear your makeup, filthy little slut. Go back to your room and make yourself presentable before our guests arrive. Another sharp smack stings your cheek, and you find yourself cradling your cheek like it just now happened to you.

   Panic blindly traces every inch of your body, anxiety creeping in as your heart palpitates at an alarming pace. You ate without Joel, you didn’t wait, you ruined your makeup. Oh God, you’re in so much trouble. Safe. You’re not safe. You need to run, you need to…

   “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Joel’s concerned voice whips through your mind, and that’s enough for you to drop your fork in alarm on the floor, your eyes wild with fright. 

   You’re not safe, you’re not safe, you’re not safe. He’ll hurt you. Run.

  You pull back the barstool and stand, your back tense and fingernails digging into the kitchen island. “W—Why are you being nice to me? Why did you cook for me? Why aren’t you starving me?!”

   His body tenses, just like yours, and his eyes swim with concern. “Sweetheart, it’s okay. It’s all gonna be jus’—”

   “Why aren’t you using me? Use me! Tell me to spread my legs, tell me to get on my knees, tell me I’m worthless!” You scream, letting your voice echo around the clean kitchen, feeling as if your panic attack might take you out this time around. 

   “No.” His voice is careful, quiet, not at all stern.

   “No?” you mewl, feeling the tears prick the back of your eyes.

   “No,” he repeats, softer than before.

   Your hands shake, and you need to find something to hold to soothe your whirring anxiety. So you grab the glass that’s half full of water. “Use me! Tell me I’m nothing! Tell me I don’t matter!”    

   He shakes his head slowly, his eyebrows knit together in rapt attention, eyes crinkling. “You do matter. Don’t for a second think that you’re—”

   “Just fucking use me!” You slam the glass to the floor, letting it shatter into tiny pieces just like your heart looks like. Broken and fractured. You fall to the floor, crying out when a piece slices through your palm, letting the pain serenade your insides, reminding you of all the times you saw red back at the house. 

   The tears splash against your cheeks, falling to the floor like droplets from a waterfall. But you can’t find the strength to let them stop. You’ve held them in for so long; there’s no more room to keep them tucked away inside.  

   Your eyes widen when you realize the mess you made. You broke his belonging, completely shattered it in pieces. He should have your fucking neck for this, and you cower just thinking of the beating he might give you. “Oh my God. The glass. Fuck, the glass. I’m so… s—sorry. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t…” You frantically try to pick the pieces up, but all you do is tear another cut open in the same palm. And now blood stains the dark wood. Fuck. 

   Joel’s at your side in a second, kneeling beside you, trying to calm you down the best he can without alarming you. “Shhh. S’alright. It’s fine. I don’t care about the broken glass.”

   “But I made a mess. I broke your belongings. And I should be punished. I should…” Your voice fades off as the tears blur your vision, completely breaking you just like the scattered shards of glass that surround you. 

   He shakes his head slowly and places his palm flat on the ground, so close but yet so far from brushing against you. “No. Don’t think for one minute you deserve that, sweet girl. Don’t for one fuckin’ minute believe any of that. S’not true. None of it is.”

   “But—but I… No, I—I can fix this. I can clean this up, I can…” Your words come out jumbled and muddled, and the panic still writhes high throughout your body, making you want to crawl out of your scarred skin.

   “Sweetheart, shhh. S’alright. I promise I’m not here to harm you. Jus’ let me clean you up. Your hand. Jus’—let me help you. Please.” His voice is calm, collected, and you have a hard time looking up because you know those deep brown eyes will only make you cry harder.

   You feel his fingertips brush against your wrist, and you jolt back in panic, eyes wide with retaliation. “Don’t—don’t touch me,” you choke, whining as another piece of glass digs into your hand like a knife carving its way deep into your bones. It fucking hurts, but you’ve taken worse. You can manage the pain. 

   He lifts his arms in the air like he’s surrendering, showing you he means no harm. But your body doesn’t know the difference anymore. All you’ll ever know is how to continue to take the pain. 

   “Please. I promise I ain’t gonna hurt you. Let me take care of your hand. Let me help you.” He draws out the last word, the syllables dragging like sweet honey across his tongue. And he sounds genuine like he really does want to help you.

   You have no more fight left in you, no energy to give. So all you do is nod your head and whisper out a defeated, “Okay.”

   “C’mere, sweetheart. Let’s get you up off the floor.” He scoops you up in his arms, cradling your head in the palm of his hand. He doesn’t even care that you’re staining his white button-up red. If he does, he doesn’t say anything about it.

   Your body revolts against his touch, but he’s so warm that you don’t fight it. He smells like firewood and scented pine trees, and that’s enough to keep you calm in his arms. You just nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck and let your tears stain the dark stubble of his patchy beard. 

   “There ya go. Easy now. You’re alright,” he coos gently, lulling you into a calm state.

   You’re freezing cold, even underneath the layers of clothes that wrap like thick vines around your body. But somehow, the warmest thing right now is being in his arms... 

   You’re completely and utterly vulnerable but just for a second, you relax into his strong arms and breathe in the mahogany scent of him. The man that got you out before you completely shattered. For just this moment, you give in to what you really need. Warmth and safety. 

   He feels safe.

   And for the next couple of minutes that it takes for him to get you across the house and up the stairs, you fade into his warmth, blocking out every single panicked and anxious thought. For just those few seconds, you breathe, letting the unruly voices in your mind die out. 

   For just that minute, you’re safe. 

   You come back to yourself the moment he sets you down on a white step stool, warily telling you to hold still, your palm open over the bathtub, blood running down the porcelain material, staining the walls with the crimson of your stupid mistakes. 

   You did this. Your fault, all your fault. You should have never broken the glass, should’ve never lashed out, but you did. And you guess this is how you’ll always be now. A hollow body that just doesn’t know how to live a normal life anymore. 

   You wince as Joel drags the washcloth slowly over your open wound, tears swimming in your eyes the more he tries to assess it, searching for any pieces of glass that may be stuck deep in your hand. And you don’t know why he’s doing this after you had a meltdown because he wouldn’t make you pleasure him. What the fuck is wrong with you? Is this how your brain just operates now? After being stuck in that god awful house, this is what it does to you? 

   You don’t want to be used anymore. You don’t even want to be fucking touched by a man ever again. So why did it hit a nerve after he refused to tell you that you were nothing? 

   “Ouch,” you whine, tensing as he washes the open wound with soap and water, apologizing each time he goes over the sore area. 

   “M’sorry. Jus’ hold on, I’m almost done. Good news is I don’t see any glass in your cut. S’good. Means I can jus’ clean you up and wrap it for tonight. Might be sore for a couple days, but you’ll be fine,” he assures you, working meticulously to fix you up. 

   You flinch each time his calloused fingers brush against your hand, struggling to not push him away. You don’t want to be touched by anyone, especially not by a man. But you can’t shake how warm he felt when he was carrying you to your room. He wasn’t mean, wasn’t rough, wasn’t even hostile. He was just… gentle. Just like he’s being now with each careful graze of his fingertips to your fragile skin. 

   And even though ninety percent of you can’t stand the thought of him being this close to you, you don’t seem to hate him. Not even a little bit. Because whether you want to admit it or not, he saved you. 

   You don’t trust him, you don’t trust anyone. He could turn on you in a second, show you his true colors. But again, he would’ve already done that. Wouldn’t he?

   “How old are you, sweetheart?” he asks, carefully drying your cut with a clean towel.

   “Twenty-seven,” you whisper out, wincing once more from the pressure on your palm.

   “And your birthday? When’s that?”

   You watch his brown eyes flick up to yours, and your gaze drops immediately back to your lap. “January 22nd.”

   He takes a minute before the next question comes, diligently wrapping your hand in a gauze padding. “How long you been gone now? Do you know?”

   You chew on your bottom lip and hold back a tear, trying your best not to fall apart all over again. “A little over a year and a half…” you respond in a muffled tone. “I wouldn’t have even known my birthday passed. But they—they were sure to remind me. Because I was—I was…” you can’t even finish your sentence without a tear slipping down your cheek, holding on for that sliver of sanity you have buried deep inside you.

   His brown eyes gloss over into a deeper shade of brown, and his eyebrows furrow in concern as he stops what he’s doing so he can put his full attention on you. You decide to finish your sentence, needing to get it out of your system. Hoping it’d be a way to forget as soon as the words left your tongue. “They—they had me bent over a table the entire day while a vanilla cake with the numbers twenty-seven taunted me while they ate it in front of me. And then they—-they…” a sob chokes you up, and tears trail like rain down your face, landing on top of Joel’s hand that sits atop his knee.

   “Hey, hey, hey. S’alright, sweetheart. You don’t have to talk ‘bout it if you don’t want to. I’m—fuck. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I jus’ can’t imagine what sick fuck would do that to you or any girl at that. I’m so sorry.” His deep voice is full of pity and heartache, and his chocolate eyes make you want to cry even more.

   You dip your head in anguish and sigh. “Yeah, me either. Maybe I deserved it. Maybe I…”

   He interrupts you, hovering his hand over yours like he wants to comfort you, but you flinch away at the notion. “Shh. No, sweetheart. You never ever deserved any of that. Not in the least bit.”

   You scuff your bare feet against the tile floor, reaching for anything that might keep you from tipping past the breaking point, but you’re way over the edge. You’re all the way at rock bottom. 

   The searing question bubbles up again in your stomach. The one question you’ve been dying to know ever since he called out that number. And you can’t go another minute without knowing. “Why did you do it?”

   “Do what?” he asks, an eyebrow arched in question.

   “Why did you buy me? You could’ve left me with the blonde. You could’ve walked out empty handed.” Your voice is raised, but you keep your composure from sliding again, not wanting another broken glass incident.

   “I wasn’t gonna do that,” he presses, his lips in a tight line, jaw ticking with a dark look in his eyes.

   “You paid thousands of dollars for me. Why would you do that? Why didn’t you just—”

   He stops you right there, a sad look blanketing his face. “‘Cause. My daughter, Sarah. She… she went through the same thing you did. And I couldn’t fuckin’ stand by and watch the same thing happen to you.”

   Your lips part wide, and a gasp leaves your throat. His daughter was taken? “Oh.” That’s all you can say for the moment. You’re stunned in silence.

   Holy shit.

   You try to find one sliver of pretense, a glimmer in his eye that could prove he’s lying. But the way his face falls and his eyes drop to the floor in agony, like he’s in physical pain, you find no lie. He’s telling the truth.

   “Is she still…”

   “Yes,” he nods, eyes in a far off place. “She’s alive.”

   “When did she…”

   He takes a deep breath and flexes his hand over the side of the tub, holding on to something solid while he gets into the thick of what happened to his daughter. “She was taken young. She was only fifteen, taken right under my nose at the mall. She was just walkin’ to the bathroom. It took less than five minutes. And I—fuck. If I would’ve jus’ watched her walk in and stood outside the door. She would’ve never been taken in the first place…”

   He drops his head in defeat, and you feel your eyes widen in shock. You don’t know what rushes over you, but the way his soft brown eyes tear up make yours do the same thing. “Joel?” you choke out, tears stinging against your lash line. “I’m—really sorry that happened. And as much as you might blame yourself, it wasn’t your fault.”

   He looks up with teary eyes and a deep frown, nodding. “Wish I could come to terms with that. But… she made it out. I found her and got her out. And that’s what matters.”

   “How old is she?” you ask quietly, your left hand brushing over your fresh bandage, careful not to tear the material. 

   “She’s twenty now. Livin’ down in Houston, startin’ her sophomore year of college, and workin’ as a part time vet tech at a clinic specializin’ in horses. She absolutely loves it,” he smiles, his eyes turning into a lighter brown the more he talks about how much she’s grown over the years, leaving behind her trauma.

   “That’s incredible. More than incredible. Just—wow,” you breathe out, your eyes casted down to the floor, wishing you could heal like that. But at this rate, you don’t think you’ll ever get over the immense trauma that occurred to your body and mind.

   He licks his bottom lip in thought, his eyes burning into yours. And you see it even out of the corner of your eye. He’s concerned for you. “It took her a long time to adjust back to a normal life. We had a rocky time there for ‘bout a year, but she got the help she needed. She was only gone a couple months, but that was more than enough time to give her PTSD and mentally scar her. But she’s shining now, finally at a place where normal life isn’t as scary as it used to be.”

   Another tear slips free and splashes to the floor, creating a tiny puddle of your shattered heart that’s made of tears. “I’m so happy for her. Sarah sounds amazing.”

   “Mmm, that she is. I’m gonna give you her number. Think it’d be good for you to connect with someone who’s been through something as traumatic as this.”

   Your mouth gapes open, and you tilt your chin up until you come face to face with him. And he looks… kind. He is kind. “But I don’t have a phone anymore…”

   “I’ve already got one ordered and on the way for you.”

   “What?” you ask with wide eyes. He gives you a small smile that curls against his lips. And you nearly sob from the gentle way he’s looking at you. “You didn’t have to do that.”

   “Yes, I did. And I have a therapist on speed dial. Her name’s Tess. She’s the best of the best. If there’s one therapist I trusted with Sarah then it’s her. Trust me, Sarah went through a lot of them, and Tess was the most helpful. And she’s helped so many other girls, too. Not just Sarah.”

   Other girls? Did he help get other girls out? You have so many questions. “Why are you doing all this for me?”

   “‘Cause I wanna help you,” he states simply, his thumb tapping against the side of the tub, eyes focused right on you.

   “But why? I’m… nothing,” you whisper, bottom lip quivering, afraid you’ll break down in tears once again. And you most likely will. You feel it deep in your bones.

   He shakes his head in response. “Sweetheart, no. Don’t say that ‘bout yourself. You’re not nothing. You’re somebody, and you matter. Whether you believe it or not, you matter.” His words are definitive, final, but his voice is as soft as cotton candy.

   “I… matter?” you ask, voice shaky from the kaleidoscope of emotions that pummels through you.

   He nods, eyes alight and glittering under the bright bathroom lights, a soft smile curled on his lips. “Do you know what I saw when you were standin’ in the middle of that room tonight? I saw a young woman that was worth saving. I saw a light deep inside those pretty eyes of yours that was jus’ screamin’ for someone to hear you. I heard you. And I wasn’t gonna jus’ leave you there to be preyed on by those starvin’ wolves. So I got you out.”

   You’re breathless, lips parted in awe. “But—but I…”

   “Look. You may not be fine tomorrow or next week, but someday—someday you will be. And I’ll try my damn near hardest to make sure you are. And if you’ll let me, I’ll see that you’re kept safe. Whether you choose to leave next week or next month or in a year. I promise I’ll do what I can to make sure you feel safe and that you can learn to thrive in life again. Trust me when I say you will get there. Jus’ gotta take it one step at a time. That’s all you can do. One day at a time.”

   Tears pool in your eyes, soaking them up like the promise of his words. I’ll keep you safe. He wants you to stay, to heal, to thrive. He’s trying to help you, and you just don’t know what you did to deserve his help, but you’re eternally grateful. And even though you’re scared, maybe you don’t have to be scared of him.

   After he puts away the gauze and the bathroom supplies he used to clean your hand with, he lets you get settled into bed. But before he walks out, he raps his knuckles on the doorway and clears his throat. “My room is jus’ across the hall if you need anything. I’ll be up, so don’t hesitate if you need something.”

   You nod your head, pulling the fluffy comforter up to your chin, too tired to give him a smile.

   He tilts his head and starts heading out the door, but before he can turn the doorknob all the way, you call out. “Joel?”

   “Hmm?” he hums, turning his head, directing his full attention your way.

   “Thank you,” you whisper, your eyes telling him everything that your words can’t.

   He curls his lips into a half smile and nods. “Don’t mention it, sweetheart.” And when he walks out and closes the door, you hear him say, “Sleep tight.”

   You want to know more about how he found Sarah, what he meant when he said he’s helped other girls before, how he found you in the first place. But you’re tired. You’re so fucking drained. Maybe tomorrow you’ll find the strength to pull yourself together and ask but not tonight. Tonight you just want a full night’s sleep. Something you haven’t had since you were taken. So you close your eyes, focus on the soft patter of rain on the window, put all your anxious thoughts to the side and drift into the dark depths of a sea of blackness. 

   And then you sleep.

   Hot pain shoots through your wrists like a jagged knife splitting you open, painting you scarlet. Dirty fingernails shred your skin, clawing you until you taste blood in the back of your throat. You can’t speak, can only silently scream. A muted cry for help that no one else can hear but you. Chains fasten to your ankles, pulling your legs apart, grimy men surrounding you, suffocating you until you seep into the the blackest pit of despair. 

   Trapped. You’re held captive against your will, your body on full display, eyes wide with fright every time they snake their filthy hands around your throat, hot breath fanning against your core until you scream bloody murder over and over again. 

   But no one comes; no one saves you from this pit of hell. 

   Dead. You feel dead, and they just keep bringing you back from the grave with every touch they steal. 

   You thrash against the sheets, screaming for help, tears staining the brand new comforter, but you’re still trapped in the horrific nightmare with the demons of your past torturing you way beyond the point of pain.

   “No, no, no! Get off!” you cry as you feel a body dip into the side of the bed, drastically trying to escape what’s to come. “Stop, stop!”

   A voice. Deep, intense, wrecked sounds in your fuzzy mind, trying to grasp you out of your nightmare.

   “Wake up. Wake up.” It’s muddled, almost unrecognizable. But it’s insistent, a loud gong that spirals into your racing mind.

   “No, no, let go!” you mewl, twisting violently in the sheets when you feel the mattress dip down further, spiraling your thoughts further.

   “Sweetheart, wake up. Please. You have to wake up!” He shouts, stirring you from your nightmare, but the men reach for you, dragging you back under the thrashing waves, but you extend your arm, fighting the tossing sea, battling the teeth that gnash at you. 

   “Stop, let go!” Your flesh stings as they continue to tear you apart, dragging you down down down until that sweet Southern drawl that sounds like honey resonates throughout your mind, and the fog starts to clear just a little. 

   “It’s me, I’m right here. Open your eyes, please!” Deep. That thick baritone voice crashes through your mind, pulling you away from all the insufferable noises.

   Your eyes snap open, realizing you’re pounding your fists into his broad chest, barely making a dent because he’s that strong. And then your anxiety races, building horrific hallucinations in your mind. And you just keep throwing everything you have at Joel, tears spilling down your cheeks, your t-shirt drenched in a cold sweat. 

   “The men… They—they…” You choke out a sob, continuously throwing your arms against his chest, taking everything you have bottled up inside you and spilling it all over Joel, showing just how bloodied and bruised you are from the traumatic events. 

   The stage, the men, Angela, the blood, the torture, the misery, the deaths, the excruciating pain of it all. It’s too fucking much, and you just want to die. Maybe then you’ll be at peace, away from the weight of everything you’ve kept resting on your shoulders. Like a rock weighing down on your chest, crushing you till you’re nothing but dust. You feel like dust. Faded, dirty, and useless.

   “S’alright, sweetheart. It was jus’ a nightmare. You’re safe,” he soothes, his calming voice bubbling up and taking some of the anxiety off your weighted chest. 

   “But it was real…” you choke out, your vision blurring with the salty water that forms in your eyes. 

   A tear slips free, crashing down to his hand, smothering it in cold, icy liquid. But he doesn’t flinch, doesn’t even back away. He just stays sitting next to you, careful not to touch you or reach for you. He’s just… there. And somehow there’s comfort in that. 

   He stares at you like a lost puppy, chocolate eyes melting, tears filling his own concerned eyes. And you keep hitting him, your hands growing tired from the balled up fists punching against his chest. And he just sits there and takes it, like it doesn’t bother him one bit.

   “Let it out. Give me your pain. I can take it, sweetheart. You jus’ take it out on me. As long as you need. You want a punchin’ bag then let me be that for you. Whatever helps, you jus’ go on and let go,” he says softly, brows threaded together, big doe eyes consumed in pain. It’s like he’s as wrecked as you are, and that makes you cry even harder. 

   “Joel…” you break, dropping your tired arms to the bed, curling your fingers into the soft comforter, trying to lose yourself in the soft rain that pelts the back of the window. 

   You’re so tired and drained and ruined. They ruined you, and you hate every single one of them for taking away everything. Your dignity, your pride, your body, your life, your mind. They took everything.

   “I know, sweet girl. I know. Shhh. S’alright. I’m right here. No one’s gonna hurt you anymore. Not while I’m here,” he whispers, his woodsy scent grounding you back to earth, calming you down just enough to focus on how soft his eyes are.

   Soft. Just like velvet. He’s so soft.

   He just sits there patiently, waiting for your cries to die down, waiting to know you’re okay. But you’re not okay; you never will be okay. You’re just a tree in a sea of thousands, but your branches are withered, leaves falling, and maybe you’ll never bloom again. 

   You focus on his soft brown eyes, the light tap of raindrops, your erratic breathing slowing to a normal pace. You’re so tired. Tired of fighting the panic attacks, the flashbacks, the pain.

   You’re just… tired.

   “You gonna be alright, sweetheart? Think you can get back to sleep?” he asks thoughtfully, his voice warm like a fresh cup of coffee, his scent permeating around the room, keeping you from spiraling again. 

   You take a deep breath and nod, pulling the comforter under your chin, trying to control the chill that runs down your spine. “I think so,” you say slowly, your voice still a little shaky.

   He tilts his head and scratches the back of his neck, a tight-lipped smile forming over his lips. “Alright, I’ll let you get back to sleep then. You come knock on my door if you need me.”

   When he pushes off your bed and pads over to the open door, he calls out and says, “Goodnight, sweetheart.”

   Panic consumes your mind just thinking of being alone again with your nightmares, your body trembling underneath the warm sheets. And before you know what you’re thinking, you stop Joel in his tracks. “Joel?”

   And just like before, he turns and arches a brow, questions reeling in his calm brown eyes. “Hmm?”

   “Can you… would you mind staying with me? I just… I really don’t want to be alone.” Your voice is shaky and nerves pull through your body, but for some reason his presence just gives off that impression of safety. 

   You don’t trust him yet, not really. But he’s got the softest aura swirling around him, and you just know he won’t hurt you. He’s already proved that.  

   You’re safe…

   He smiles, running a hand through his thick curls, his bicep flexing under the weight of the white t-shirt, grey sweatpants hanging low on his hips. You might’ve thought he was handsome under different circumstances, if your brain wasn’t ruined from trauma, but the only thing that seems to capture your attention is his soft brown eyes. The only kind ones that were in that auction room tonight. 

   “‘Course I will, sweetheart. Whatever makes you feel safe,” he says, walking over and sinking down into the champagne colored saucer chair by the open door, eyes locked on you. 

   You mold yourself to the cool mattress, the sheets wrapping loosely around your legs. You stare at him for a couple of minutes, using his woody scent to calm you down. He reminds you of Washington, of your favorite pine trees. He smells like home, when you had one. Tears line your lids, but you close your eyes and get lost in the rain, until your breathing is shallow and slow. And then you’re out like a light.

   He keeps his eyes fixed on you, watching for any signs that you may be in distress. Every whimper and strangle against the sheets makes him jump up, ready to take you from your vicious nightmares, but they don’t come. Not like the one that had you screaming bloody murder, tears staining your pretty eyes. 

   Scared. You’re so very scared, fragile. Just like the glass that ripped you open, staining his white button-up crimson. He hates that that’s how they made you feel. Afraid of men, to be broken again. They took it all from you and he fucking hates them for it. 

   They hurt you, ruined you. It makes him sick to his stomach, makes him want to hunt down every single man who put their filthy hands on your sacred body. He’d chop their hands off so they could never touch you again, take a gun and end their pathetic lives. That’s what he did with Sarah’s kidnappers, when he found out who took his precious daughter. And he’d do it for you too. In fact, he’d search the whole goddamn map to wring the necks of any man who even thought of putting their filthy paws on you.

   He’s not against violence, not when he spends half his time working to take down auctioneers and human traffickers. And the blonde man that tried to violate you tonight would be the first to go. That one he’ll take down himself. 

   He stays up the entire night, never letting his eyes close, afraid you’d start drowning again. But he won’t let you slip beneath the rocky waves; he’ll keep your head above water, pull you out, do his very best to make you feel safe.

   Safe. You’re safe here with him. And even if you don’t trust him yet, you will. He’ll make sure of it. He saw the absolute terror in your eyes on that stage, and he just couldn’t leave you with the venomous snakes in that house. You have a long road ahead of healing, but he’ll be there to help you through it. 

   A beautiful girl like you deserves a second chance at life, and he’ll give it to you. Pretty flowers don’t deserve to wilt. They deserve to thrive. 

   And you will. 

Tagging those who seemed interested 🩷 @joelsgreys @amyispxnk @whxtedreams @clawdee @jellybeanxc

@lotusbxtch @thebeldroramscal @laurrrra @sawymredfox @sanarsi

@christinamadsen @missannwinchester @aurorawritestoescape @evolnoomym @littlevenicebitch69

@milla-frenchy @magpiepills @604to647

[authorhjk1]

Hey could you do BP members react first time cum inside

Jisoo

"Jisoo..."

You try to warn her. But the woman underneath you just moans louder. Her ankles are crossed on your back, her hands locked together behind your neck. The two of you are almost one body.

You can't hold it in any longer. Jisoo's body, especially her tight pussy, leaves you breathless. You're too weak to fight against her own fading strength.

"Jisoo..."

You say her name once more. But this time it's a sigh of defeat. You empty your load deep inside of her, making Jisoo moan in response.

"Oh god..."

She sighs, her whole body tensing as she feels your warmth. Usually, you cum somewhere on her body, maybe even in her mouth, but never inside. Why has she waited so long for this? It feels amazing.

Jennie

"You gonna give it to me? You gonna fill up my little pussy?"

Jennie looks over her shoulder at you, her tight body pressed against the cold wall.

"Yeah."

You groan into her ear, unable to say much else. You met her barely 20 minutes ago and Jennie is already telling you to dump your cum in her.

"Put your load in me. Right where it belongs. In my needy little cunt."

You groan her name, pin her further against the wall, and finally you orgasm inside of her. Jennie's breath hitches as she feels your cum inside her pussy.

"Damn, I feel so full. I'm gonna have your cum leak out of me for the rest of the day."

Rosé

"C-Can you please cum inside this time?"

You look down at your girlfriend. On her stomach, black dress hiked up enough so you can fuck her tight pussy, her hands bound together by your tie.

"Sure."

You leat out a relieved sigh. It's always such a struggle to pull out early. And a condom just doesn't compare. It just feels like heaven, whenever you fuck your girlfriend raw.

"Jennie said, she got creampied by some stranger the other night. And I want to feel that too."

Her already weak voice tells you that Rosé is reaching her own limit as well. The thought of Jennie, letting a random dude cum inside, makes you fuck your girlfriend a little harder.

"Oh, yes there. Jennie is such a slut. I'm surprised she hasn't tried to make you cheat on me yet."

You quiet your girlfriend by giving her harder thrusts, trying not to think about Jennie while you fuck her.

But it's already too late. Rosé's snug and wet pussy and your mental image of Jennie make you you cum inside your girlfriend earlier than you expected.

"Oh, god. It feels amazing."

Rosé can barely get those words out, before she orgasms herself. You feel her draining your for everything you have. Her already sloppy pussy now needy for more of this newfound feeling.

Lisa

You still can't believe that Blackpink's Lisa is riding you. Inside her own hotel room. Her hands rest on your shoulder, yours on her waist. She didn't even bother getting rid off her dress. She just told you to follow her upstairs, when she caught you staring at her in the lobby.

You could've sworn there were rumours about a boyfriend or something. Either they're not true, or she is doing something really bad right now.

The idea of being able to have sex with Lisa already drives you mad. A dream come true. But is she actually doing this while being in a relationship?

"Damn, your cock feels amazing."

Lisa leans down to give you a deep kiss. A kiss that pushes your further to the point of no return.

She must have felt what you're thinking, because she pulled away and is now looking down on you as she keeps riding you.

"Don't worry, he doesn't mind. Actually, he finds it hotter when I let guys like you cum inside."

"What?"

You're barely able to comprehend what she just said, the fog in your brain already limiting your ability to think.

"It's okay, baby."

Lisa picks up the pace a little, which is deadly for your self control. She leans down, so her mouth is right next to your ear.

"Just think of me as a one time cumdump."

"Fuck."

You groan as you close your eyes, which makes you miss Lisa's knowing smirk. You dig your fingers into her hips as you thrust upwards, cuming deep inside of her.

"Fuck, yes."

Lisa moans, a satisfied smile on her lips. She grinds her hips back and forth. Trying to get as much out of you as possible.

[forensicheart]

You’re Drunk

Lando Norris x Reader

Summary: Lando gets a call to pick up his not so sober girlfriend

A/N: Not particularly feelings this one but hope you guys enjoy!

Laughing to himself Lando sits on the couch scrolling through his Instagram stories coming across his girlfriends, where she looks to be having a great time with her friends. He replays the video that's been shared and smiles brightly at her drunken giggles as her and her friends stumble down the street. Lando can't help but go to rewatch the video for a third time but before he can an unknown number flashes on his screen. Confusion fills his mind as the phone rings but Lando decides to answer.

"Hello?"

"Lando, hey, it's Y/f/n" This made Lando more confused as he wasn't sure why one of his girlfriend's friends would be calling him. Until he heard your voice in the background. He could hear your small cries as you complained to your friends about being hungry but refused everything option of food they offered you.

"Need me to come get her?" Lando predicted.

"Pleaseeeee, we can't deal with her any longer. She just got us kicked out of the club" Y/f/n pleaded with your boyfriend causing Lando to let out a laugh being requesting your location and hanging up.

-

Pulling up outside the club you'd been kicked out of 30 minutes prior Lando swore you looked even more drunk then you had sounded on call 20 minutes ago. As soon as he stepped out the car you were running towards him with a speed he'd never seen from you. But unfortunately your legs couldn't keep up with your wanted speed and steps before you would reach Lando he watched you fall flat on your face. Holding in a laugh Lando quickly moved to your aid and looked at you with sympathy as you held onto him, tears welling in your wide eyes. Turning to look at your friends Lando simply nodded as a goodbye and they all seemed to let out a sigh of relief as they knew you were no longer their responsibility.

Now Lando had delt with you on a few occasions when you'd gotten a bit too drunk to have any independence but this time you seemed a bit more reliant than usual. After spending close to 10 minutes to even get you into the car and buckle your seatbelt without you unclipping it seconds later and laughing like it was the funniest joke ever, Lando was finally able to hop into the drivers side and begin the drive to your shared house.

The drive back started peacefully, no sound but the quiet hum of the radio as you had seemed to drifted into her own world staring out the window. Well that was until-

"Aeroplan!" You shouted giving Lando a scare causing him to almost slam on the breaks.

"What was that baby?" He asked softly glancing over to see both your hands planted on the glass as you started into the night sky with a child like wonder.

"There's an aeroplan" You spoke matter-of-factly even though as Lando looked into the sky through the car windows he saw nothing but stars littering the darkness.

"I don't see anything baby, maybe it was a star" Lando suggested cautiously but the suggestion still caused you to scoff loudly.

"You must be blind, because- maccas! I want maccas Landoooo" Your interest changed as you saw the golden 'm' in the distance.

-

You'd finally arrived home now after a detour to not only maccas but the supermarket as well to gather some baking ingredients as you were determined to make some cupcakes in your drunken state.

"Baby!" Lando panicked as he saw flour all over the floor. He'd left for one minute to use the bathroom, the kitchen far more spotless than it was now.

"Oopsie daisy" You giggled and when you spun to face Lando he couldn't help but burst into a fit of laughter. Your face coated in the white power, barely a spot of skin uncovered. Lando stepped towards you and took your face in his hands uncaring of the flour now coating his hands.

"Y/n, what have you done?" He asks rhetorically and receives a shrug in response from the girl in question but a sneaky grin never left her face.

"I want to sleep" You decided stepping back from Lando's touch and trying to make your way to the bedroom only to be stopped by Lando's hand grabbing yours.

"No, no, no. Not like that you aren't. You'll get flour all over the bed!" You groaned at Lando's words and wrapped your arms around his waist and nuzzling your face into his neck.

"I don't careee" Your words were both mumbled and slurred and Lando wrapped his arms around you humming.

"I know drunk Y/n doesn't mind but trust me I don't want to be dealing with her when she's sober and see's the mess from tonight's antics, ok baby?" You begrudgingly agreed seeming slightly more sober than you had previously.

"Good, come on let's go shower baby" Lando unwrapped you from the hug and led you to the bathroom by hand.

"Sexy time!"

Ok. Maybe you weren't that sober yet.

[mountttmase]

If I Lost You

Note - this fic was such a struggle for me but we’re here and we made it 😂 I know I haven’t uploaded in a really long time by my standards so I’d love to know what you guys think and also thank you to my besties for your help on this one, I couldn’t have done it without you 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 7k

Warnings - angst and fluff

There was nothing Mason hated more than traffic. Traffic coupled with a later than usual training session was even worse

He’d been sat pretty much stationary for around 20 minutes now, slowly moving every couple of minutes but he hadn’t made it far. Eventually turning his playlist over to the radio so he could listen out for traffic updates but the flashing blue lights up ahead let him know what was happening.

He was right in the thick of it, no option to turn around and go another way, but not close enough to the front to be able to get around it yet and when a few more police cars came up to join the scene he realised it must have been a bad crash.

So he did the only thing he could do and waited. His mind wandering off to far away places that he tried not to visit too often and once he realised he was starting to spiral he quickly switched the radio back over to his playlist so he could distract himself.

It was only around 15 minutes later he’s made it to the front of the line, watching the traffic warden wave a few cars forward at a time to drive into the oncoming lane to get round and soon enough it was his turn.

He knew he shouldn’t have, but there was something making him want to look at the scene as he drove by. Head turning to the left of him to see how bad it was and the sight before him shocked him to the core.

The car was on its side, bonet crushed from hitting a lamppost and he could tell the windows had been broken to get whoever was inside free but after a few seconds the realisation that something was wrong slapped him in the face.

He knew that car. It was yours.

It was the colour that alerted him first. That specific shade of light blue he’d only ever known you to have but as he looked closer he could tell it was the same make and model as yours too. The panic rising up his chest until he thought he might have been sick but the sound of beeping horns shocked him out of his trance.

He couldn’t sit and wait and let himself process anything, the traffic officer waving him forward but it was like he was having an out of body experience. He wanted to get out and find you, the urge to scream your name was on the tip of his tongue but he did as he was told and drove forward, leaving the scene of the crime behind him but he felt too weird to carry on too much longer and pulled into a side street so he could park up and sort himself out.

There wasn’t much he could do, you hadn’t spoken in months and the only other person the pair of you had in common would no doubt tear him a new one if he called asking after you and he also didn’t want to worry everyone if it was nothing. He still needed to do something though and In the end he decided to text you in hopes you’d get back to him soon and settle his mind. You always had your phone in your hand so he knew this was the easiest way to grab your attention and hopefully speak to you.

The rest of the drive home, albeit short, was a nightmare. He couldn’t concentrate on anything and was constantly messing up but he made it back in one piece. Running inside so he could turn the news on immediately, hoping for any sign of what had happened whilst he sat and panicked. Not being able to think about anything other than knowing you were okay.

This was hell, and he hated it. But the way he was feeling for you right now was mostly his own doing.

You’d met Mason a few years ago at the after party for the final of their euros. Your best friend's brother was Rashy and she’d invited you along to watch the final, and although it had ended in heartbreak there was a certain brown eyed boy you and the rest of the world couldn't seem to tear their eyes away from.

You knew it was over for you when he came over to console Marcus, seeing how genuinely kind and concerned he was for his friend made your heart thump and when the pair of you were finally introduced you didn’t miss the way his eyes flickered over you.

He couldn’t stick around too long, needing to get back to his family but you caught eyes a few times throughout the night and when you were at the bar alone he used that as his in to come and speak to you properly.

It was his smile that caught you first, but it was hard not to notice his big brown eyes and musical laugh. In the end standing and chatting until the night was pretty much over and you had to go your separate ways but he gave you his number and made you promise to message him as soon as possible.

You didn’t know what you were expecting from Mason, but what you got was a blossoming friendship and you were more than thankful he was in your life. With you living in Manchester and him in London it was hard to see each other, Mason constantly referring to you as pen pals but you took what you could with him. Going to watch him play at Wembley sometimes and seeing him in the summer or whenever he has some free time for a few days gave you something to look forward to and you loved getting to know him on a deeper level.

It was very much a will they won’t they type of relationship. As much as you adored Mason, you didn’t want things to change and you knew long distance would be hard until just over a year had passed and you decided to take the plunge. The pair of you in Greece with a big group of the other boys and their girlfriends and Mason confessed he hated the thought of maybe seeing you with someone else and was willing to put the work in for you if that’s what you wanted.

And you really did.

Being Mason's girlfriend was everything you thought it could be and more. He was still his cute charming self but you felt free being able to be with him in the way you’d secretly always wanted. Your first kiss being a little awkward but he kept you relaxed and let you go at your own pace. Kissing all over your face until you were ready to try again and now it seemed as if you couldn't get enough of him.

It did come with its own set of challenges though. Being away from each other a lot of the time took its toll and even though when you were together you always made it count, the goodbyes were getting harder and Mason couldn’t stand to see you cry everytime he had to leave again. Or your sad face on FaceTime when you spoke in the evenings when you were apart, wishing he could reach out and touch you but he was never able to give you the comfort he so desperately wanted to.

It was around March of 2023 when it all came crashing down. Mason had a lot on his plate with an injury that wouldn’t go away and Chelsea’s new owners not treating him the way he should have been. You could tell he was more down than usual and planned a trip to go stay with him for a week so he’d have someone to come home to and someone to cuddle after a long day but at first you felt like he didn’t want you there at all.

You still remember the night before he ended it all. It’s like he was back to your Mason for a bit as you made dinner and spoke on the sofa until the early hours until you went up to bed. It was like he held you extra tight that night and whilst you figured it was just because he’d missed you and he’d had a nice night you now wondered if there was more behind it. Maybe thinking he should hold you properly if it was the last time and then out of the blue, he turned your world upside down the next morning.

He tried to give you the usual spiel of it’s not you it’s me and you were about to cuss him out for being so ridiculous but one look at him and you could see how much he was struggling. Telling you he hated that he couldn’t give you what you needed at that it broke him seeing you so down when he already had so much on his plate. You knew he needed to lighten his load, you just hated that it was you that would be cut off.

You didn’t argue with him, it being clear that he couldn’t take it but you spent the rest of your day packing up your stuff into the early evening where he made you stay for one more night so you weren’t driving home in the dark.

You felt stupid, making sure he was okay even though you felt like you were dying inside but you loved Mason and even though this was hurting you more than you could possibly imagine, you kept on a brave face for him. Telling him you’d still be there if he needed you and not to hesitate calling if he needed someone to talk to.

Sleeping in the guest room that night hurt more than anything he’d said to you over the last 24 hours but you remember him coming into your room at around two am as your cries had kept him awake. Holding you and shushing you in hopes you’d get some sleep but it didn’t work and all you wanted was to go back in time and undo everything he’d said but you couldn’t. So you stayed awake and tried to remember what it felt like to hold him, what he smelt like and how his skin felt pressed up against yours.

‘Can we make a deal?’ He whispered all of a sudden and you nodded into his neck in hopes he’d feel it, knowing your voice wouldn’t hold up if you tried to speak. ‘I want you to live your life and forget about me, yeah? Like if you meet someone new I want you to go for it. But in five years time, if we’re both single, do you think we could try again?’

‘I’ll see’ you whispered, knowing he wasn’t happy with that answer by the way he kissed your hairline softly but he let it go. Knowing he didn’t have a leg to stand on after what he was putting you through.

You left the next morning early, him giving you an emotional goodbye on his doorstep but you were ready to go home and be on your own now. Mason asking if you could still be friends and if he could text you and you stupidly agreed before getting away as fast as you could but you only made it one street away before you had to stop for a big cry. Wanting to get it all out before you began your drive home and after 15 minutes you set off again. Your phone going off every so often but you ignored it until you were back in the comfort of your flat and when you saw they were all from Mason you felt sadder than you expected to.

You were curious as to what he’d deleted but you didn’t have the energy to ask so you sent him a quick reply telling him you were fine and going to sleep before taking yourself straight to bed. Too tired to be upset or over think anything and when you woke up the next morning things still hurt but you’d resigned to your fate of being his friend again.

A friend.

So you spoke here and there for a while and even though you were broken it was a fairly easy split. You remained civil and on good terms and it broke you to see how unfairly he was being treated on the field and with his whole contract saga. He kept going though like the Mason you knew and loved but when the news hit he’d had surgery it felt like your world had tumbled upside down.

You felt useless, wanting to help him as much as you could but he was so far away and you’d already used up all your holiday so you did your usual and let him phone you when he needed a chat.

Not too long after his surgery everything seemed to fizzle out. Nothing happened as such but your texts and calls came few and far between until there was nothing and when the news broke he was moving to Manchester you felt too awkward to text him. Not wanting to give the wrong impression that you expected something from him now so you left it so he could come to you.

He never did though.

You weren’t sure why he didn’t, but Mason had his own reasons. Not wanting to drag you back into the mess of his life and the fact you’d stopped messaging him made him think you were done with him and he didn’t have the heart to face your rejection no matter how much you were on his mind.

So he moved to Manchester and didn’t reach out, even though he thought about it everyday, and tried to rebuild his life without you. He was doing well but you were always there in the back of his mind, even thinking he’d seen you a few times and his tummy jumped each time before he realised it wasn’t you. He’d wanted to message you more than anything but he didn’t have the guts, even though you’d both promised to stay friends the messages had become so few and far between and now there was nothing.

As soon as Mason was inside he ran to the living room to put the news on, pausing the TV as soon as it showed the aftermath of the accident so he could get a better look before playing again to where it was panning past what he thought was your car. He managed to stop it at a point to be able to examine it more carefully and he could feel the nerves rippling through him.

Same colour, same make and model, same sticker on the back window with where the car came from, different number plate…

Different number plate.

Mason let out a sigh of relief. It wasn’t you. Someone was clearly hurt and that wasn’t good but he couldn’t deny he felt lighter at the fact it wasn’t you who was in harm's way. Falling back into the cushions of his sofa so he could take a few breaths to steady himself.

You were okay.

He felt a little silly now, panicking so much when you were clearly fine but as the minutes wore on he managed to talk himself back into a frazzled state.

He didn’t know what it was, not being able to settle and focus on anything but you. Now you were back on his mind, all he could see was your pretty eyes and perfect smile.

He knew nothing about you anymore. The only piece of information left being the address of your old flat and now he was getting to know the area he knew you weren’t too far away. But he didn’t know if you were there anymore and if he did turn up whatever the chances you would even want to see him?

What if you’d moved on? Surely Rashy would have told him but Mason couldn't stand the thought of turning up at your house and a random guy being there. No doubt he’d be taller than him and funnier and be able to make all the time in the world for you and the thought of seeing you with someone who’s everything Mason isn’t made him miserable.

It was like there was an itch in his brain that he couldn’t scratch, not able to settle as his mind came out with random questions to make him doubt what he already knew. He decided against messaging Rashy, presuming he wouldn’t have much of an idea either and he didn’t want to start worrying everyone unnecessarily if there really was nothing wrong.

Maybe he read it wrong and it was your number plate? Or maybe you’d changed your number plate and it was you all along? Why hadn’t you answered his texts yet either? Was there an innocent explanation or had he missed something and it really was you that was hurt?

The only thing he did know was that he couldn’t stay in and drive himself insane. Eventually coming to the conclusion that a run would clear his head so he quickly changed into some shorts and a hoodie before setting off. No particular place or destination in mind, just the need to let off some steam and clear his mind.

When the rain started to fall he cursed under his breath. Too far away from home to turn around and avoid it and also not done with his run as he was still feeling on edge so he grit his teeth and carried on. Weaving in and out of streets until he started to recognise where he was a bit more.

Maybe it was just a coincidence he ended up here, like in the back of his mind this is where he needed to end up to finally put his mind at rest but as he stopped to get his breath just outside of your building he only felt worse.

Your car which you always parked in the same spot was nowhere to be seen, and the flat he knew to be yours had all of the lights off but the curtains were open. Like you’d been out and not made it home yet to shut them and he felt sick to his stomach at the thought.

‘No no no no no’ he whispered under his breath, not understanding where your car was and it seemed like only the worst possible outcome was the right one.

He knew it was a bad decision to come here but he’d done it anyway and now his mind was spiralling more than he thought possible.

He thought about going home but the need to see that you were fine with his own two eyes outweighed everything else and before he knew it he was running up the path and standing outside your front door with his hand poised to knock.

What am I supposed to say? He thought. I thought you were dead so I came to check you were alright? No, he couldn’t but he knocked before he had a chance to think of anything else. Waiting anxiously as he heard a few noises from behind the door but if you were there then you were taking forever to answer.

As soon as you opened the door he felt his body flood with relief. Your hair was pointing up in all different directions and he could clearly see the pillow marks on your cheek. A shocked and confused expression painted your features as you realised who was standing in front of you but he just felt his heart swell before his face crumpled as he tried to hold the tears back.

‘Mase? Mase what’s wrong?’ You asked, reaching forward to touch him in some way but you second guessed yourself before you got there. Not knowing if he wanted you to touch him but he looked distraught so you pushed your thoughts to the side and pulled him into the doorway. ‘Mase, you’re soaked. Come inside, it’s okay’

‘I’m sorry’ he told you, his voice wobbling as you shut the door and the feeling of warmth engulfed him immediately. He felt self here.

This feels like home, he thought. The place was unchanged from when he was last here and he stood awkwardly in the hall as you shut the door before leading him into the living room just around the corner.

‘Sorry, you've caught me at a bit of a bad time’ you laughed as you tidied the blankets off of the sofa and reset the cushions so you both had a place to sit. Flustered that he’d turned up so randomly and in the back of your mind you wondered if it might have happened one day but you chalked it off as being a silly daydream in the end.

‘Danger nap?’ He asked and you felt your face flush at the way he’d caught on so quickly. ‘Don’t worry, I remember them well’

‘Well I’ve been having them a bit more frequently since I’ve got no one to tell me off anymore’ you joked but you saw his face drop ever so slightly. ‘Take a seat, you want a drink or anything?’

‘I’m fine, thanks’

‘You sure? I’ll get you a tea you look like you need warming up’ you told him softly before scurrying over to the kitchen and he felt his chest warm with how kind you were to him. Hearing the kettle flick down before you came back to close the curtains and then run over to the cupboard under the stairs. ‘Take your hoodie off Mase, you’ll catch a chill. I’ve got you a towel and I’ll turn the heating up’

‘Sorry, this is probably the last thing you needed tonight’ he sighed, grabbing the towel to run over his hair once he’d taken his hoodie off but the shoulders of his top were still wet and now he was sitting here waiting for you he felt silly.

‘No don’t worry about that, I know we haven’t spoken for a while but I always said I’m here if you need me’ you told him shyly. Sitting down next to him so you could place his tea on the table before sending him a reassuring smile

‘I know’ he huffed. ‘I just feel a bit dramatic now that’s all’ he told you, trying to laugh it off but you knew him and you knew something was on his mind.

‘What’s going on? Why are you here?’ You pushed gently, trying to get him to open up a little bit more and when his eyes fell to his lap you weren’t sure if he was about to tell you or not. Thankfully he did after a few moments but you weren’t prepared for the words that were about to tumble from his lips.

‘There’s um… well there’s been this big accident on the main road out of Manchester. It’s all over the news and I was stuck in traffic for like 45 minutes until I could get round it’ he told you but you were unsure as to why he was updating you on the traffic when you’d asked what he was so upset about.

‘Okay?’

‘The car that crashed… well I thought it was yours’ he told you, his voice wobbling at the end and you felt your heart shatter as you realised what was wrong now. ‘It’s the same colour and make and everything and I… well I was out of my mind worrying that… i don’t know that you were hurt or something-‘

‘Oh Mase’ you breathed, cutting him off as his voice got more and more emotional and all you wanted was to pull him into a hug but you weren’t sure if that was what he wanted. In the end you just reached for his hand and you were surprised at how tightly he gripped onto you.

‘Sorry I bet I sound insane’ he laughed, wiping his eyes with his free hand and you felt your heart break for him.

‘No no it’s okay’ you reassured him, placing your other around your already clasped ones. Hoping he’d keep on talking but you let him take his time as he was clearly overwhelmed and upset by everything that had happened tonight.

‘It was on the news and I saw it wasn’t your number plate so I thought you were fine but then i managed to talk myself out of thinking that and I tried to text you, but i didn’t hear anything back but I guess you were asleep’ he smiled, squeezing your hand gently and you smiled sadly back at him.

‘I never got a text from you, I don’t think I did anyway’ you told him. ‘I was only asleep for like ten minutes. I did see some texts but it was a number I didn’t recognise and I thought it was a scam thing so I didn’t bother looking properly cause the number wasn’t saved’

‘A scam?’

‘Yeah I keep getting those texts like Evri has your parcel but it’s damaged and the details are lost. Please send your address, bank details and blood type so we can attempt a redelivery’ you joked and you felt your tummy flip when he let out a little laugh.

‘No it’s my fault, my personal number got leaked a little while back and when I moved up here I thought it would be a good idea to get a new number. I texted most people but I wasn’t sure if you wanted to hear from me so I just kept your number in my contacts. I completely forgot you wouldn’t have it saved’

‘You know that makes a lot of sense actually’ you smiled, watching his eyebrows pinch together in confusion and you thought his expression was adorable. ‘I sort of texted you last week. You know, after your goal? I didn’t hear back from you’

‘Shit, I’m so sorry’ he sighed, his free hand dragging down his face and you could tell he was annoyed with himself as he rolled his eyes.

‘No it’s alright-‘

‘No cause you probably thought I was ignoring you and I wasn’t’ he told you, almost pleading with you to make you believe him but you already did and when you sent him a soft smile he let out a big sigh he’d been holding in. ‘Where’s your car? It's not parked out the front?’

‘Chrissy upstairs moved out and I was next on the list for a spot in the underground car park so I park it down there now’ you explained, releasing how shaken he must have been and still was to know you might have been hurt and when one of your hands let go to touch his shoulder, his eyes snapped up to yours. ‘Are you alright, mase?’

‘No’ he whispered quietly, his glossy eyes looking back down to his lap and as much as you wanted to push him you also didn’t want to scare him off so you sat waited for him to come clean and tell you what was going on in his head. ‘I know it’s stupid but like… I realised if I lost you then… well it felt like my world was ending in all honesty’ he confessed, laughing slightly but you could tell there was no humour in it l. ‘I know that’s dramatic but all I could think about was everything I’d never told you, all the things I’d never be able to say to you again, you know? Never be able to hold you or kiss you…’

‘Kiss me?’ You whispered. Unsure as to why he’d said that at the end as you’d been broken up for almost a year now but you couldn’t deny his confession made your heart jump. If truth be told it hurt more than you thought it would when he didn’t reply to you a week ago and seeing him so heartbroken on your doorsteps just now was a shock. But the words falling from his lips right now were even more of a shock.

‘Sorry’ he mumbled, his voice thick with tears as he shook his head but you didn’t want him to shut down on you now. You wanted him to keep talking, to see if he’d say the things you’d been waiting a year for him to admit so you carried on stroking his skin and letting him get himself together.

‘No no it’s okay, I just wasn’t expecting it’ you laughed, looking up at him to thankfully looking back at you with a small smile on his face. ‘Now’s your chance Mase, what do you wanna tell me’ you whispered, wondering if he’d say anything at all but ever the unexpected he said the last thing you thought he would.

‘I love you’ he whispered instantly. The words sending a tingle down your spine and you almost lost your breath. ‘I’m still so fucking in love with you and the though of you not being around anymore hurt more than I could tell you. Not that I’ve tried, but I can’t love anyone else like I loved you. Like I still love you, y/n’

‘Mase-‘

‘I know it’s been a while and you won’t feel the same but-‘

‘Mase stop’ you whispered, your eyes stinging at the thought of what he might be doing but the sincerity in his eyes kept a spark of hope alive. ‘Are you sure? I think you’re in shock a bit, you may want this now but what about in a month's time? Or two? I can’t go through feeling like that again’

‘I’m sure, i promise’ he nodded, dropping his eyes to his lap before taking a deep breath and you knew he had more to say. ‘I know we said if we were both single in five years we’d come back to each other but that’s too far away for me and I don’t wanna give anyone else the opportunity to have you. People like us, we’re meant to meet in a few years time when we both know who we are and what we want for ourselves but I don’t wanna do that. I want us to work through it all and grow together, you know?’

‘Mase-’

‘I pushed you away when I should have held onto you tighter. I think about you… all the fucking time and I can’t be without you’ he sniffled. ‘I know it’s incredibly selfish of me but I don’t want you to be just a chapter in my life when you’re the whole damn book baby’

You couldn’t help but laugh at his last line, your chuckles seeming to break the tension a little bit as he smiled at you and you could feel your heart in your throat at all the sweet words he’d spilled to you tonight.

‘Sorry I know it’s a lot but I just needed you to know’

‘Well thank you, and you know I care about you so much Mase-‘

‘Oh’ he sighed, trying to remove his hand from yours as you hadn’t told you him loved him back and he felt a bit embarrassed but that wasn’t your intention.

‘No Mase, wait I just… look it’s a lot to think about’ you laughed, squeezing his hand tighter so he couldn’t move away. ‘Just give me some time to take it in, yeah?’

‘Sorry’

‘No please don’t be sorry’ you told him before a quietness settled over you for a moment. Not really sure what you were wanting to say and knowing Mason had said enough for a lifetime tonight so you went back to what you thought you did best. Looking after him. ‘Listen, have you eaten? I’ve got a pasta bake to put in the oven and you know I always cook for about five people’

‘I haven’t eaten’ he laughed ‘Too busy worrying that you'd been flattened’ he joked, rolling his eyes and you couldn’t help but let out a loud laugh at his attempt at humour.

‘Well let me make us something to eat, And we can hang out a bit and catch up, yeah?’ You asked hopefully and thankfully he nodded in agreement.

So you made the pair of you some dinner before getting settled on the sofa. Keeping the tv volume on minimum so you could talk and it was like having the Mason you fell for back with you. But your heart broke even further when he explained to you how hard the last year had been for him, from being sold to the constant injuries and feeling pretty lonely up here some nights when it was just him and his family and friends had to go home.

Soon enough your plates had been discarded to the coffee table as it was your turn to open up. Not that you had as much to say but he was interested all the same in hearing about your life and getting up to date with all the people you used to talk about together. Updating him on your job and all the changes that had been made before he commented on how even with all the changes your flat was still the same and it made him feel happy.

‘Hey Mase?’ You asked quietly when you saw him try to suppress a yawn and you knew he’d realised you’d seen when the bridge of his nose turned red like you used to love.

‘Yeah?’

‘Do you wanna stay here tonight?’ You asked, his eyebrows shooting up in shock as he clearly hadn’t expected you to ask anything like that but now you had him back here you didn’t want to let him go.

‘W-what?’ He mumbled, scratching the back of his head like he did whenever he got nervous but you send him a reassuring smile in hopes that would help.

‘I mean you don’t have to, but it’s late now and I won’t be having you walking home or paying for an Uber. Unless you want me to drive you home-‘

‘No you can’t drive me, I don’t want you driving back on your own’ he argued back but you were both smiling so you let out a little laugh before being a bit firmer with him.

‘So you’ll stay then? And I’ll drop you home on my way to work?’

‘I think that could work’ he nodded but you knew he was shy about it even though he had no need to be.

‘Okay perfect’

‘Do you still keep that blanket in the cupboard?’ He asked and you felt a wave of disappointment flood you.

‘Oh I um…’ you trailed off, realising he’d got the wrong end of the stick and you knew you needed to set him straight no matter how awkward it might get.

‘What’s up?’

‘Well I thought you might want to sleep in my bed? You know like… with me?’ You explained, his face a mask of shock as the words left your lips but you knew you needed to put the idea out there.

‘Oh’

‘Sorry I’m being silly’

‘No I want to, I just didn’t wanna push it you know? I wasn’t sure if that’s what you wanted’

‘I do’ you smiled. Holding your hand out for him to take and you felt your heart give a squeeze and he gently took it in his. ‘And I think it might be what you need’

‘I think so too,’ he laughed. A shy look on his face as you walked him through and into your bedroom and once you were inside you sent him a reassuring smile. ‘Get in, I’m just gonna use the bathroom and I’ll be with you’

You left him to sort himself out, quickly applying your skincare and trying to keep calm before returning to your room. Seeing Mason was already in bed and that he was still in his T-shirt but he’d stripped down to his boxers on the bottom half and you caught a cheeky flash of his thighs as you lifted the covers up.

You knew what you wanted, and what he probably wanted too so when you got yourself under the covers you turned away from him as you shuffled up close. Your back against his chest before taking his arm so you could wrap it around your body and you could tell from how stiff he was that he wasn’t expecting it but it only took a second for him to settle down and nuzzle into your neck.

‘I don’t think I need to wait until the morning’ you suddenly heard him whisper after a few moments and you felt your heart begin to pound. ‘I never ended things with you because I didn’t like you or I didn’t see us going anywhere. It was more that I didn't like myself. You’ve been the right person for me this whole time and I knew it long before we were friends, like it had always been my plan to make you mine and then when I finally got you I let you go’

‘Well you know what they say, Mase’ you whispered, holding him to you tighter and you felt him lightly kiss your shoulder. ‘If you love something you should set it free. And if it’s yours it’ll come back’

‘Will you come back to me then?’ He asked, his voice sounding more vulnerable than he intended it to. ‘Cause I’ll always come back to you’

‘I think we can work something out’ you whispered and you felt him stiffen before moving back so he could roll you over to face him. His eyes wide and glossy as he looked at you and you could tell you’d taken him by surprise.

‘Really? You’d wanna try again?’ He asked. Lip wobbling and it all became too much for him so you reached out to stroke his cheek and catch a few of the stray tears.

‘It just wasn’t our time back then, Mase. I get that now and yeah it sucked but if it’s really what you want then it’s what I’ve wanted since things ended’ you told him softly. Kissing the end of his nose as he shut his eyes softly. ‘I’ve been yours from the second you looked at me’

‘I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want this, or if you were seeing someone else’

‘Well lucky for you, you don’t have to worry about any of that’ you told him and you didn’t miss the look of relief on his face. ‘Things will be easier now we're closer okay? We can see each other more and all the things that drove us apart won’t be a problem’

‘You really think it’ll be that simple?’ He whispered, the hope in his eyes made you want to reassure him even further.

‘I think so, yeah. You said earlier you still loved me right?’

‘I did’ he laughed, not meeting your eyes as he blushed and you thought he was the most adorable thing you’d ever seen.

‘I still love you too’ you whispered, so quietly you thought he might now have heard you but from his reaction you knew he did. Letting out a shuddery breath before he hid his face. Giving you room to kiss all over his cheek until he had the courage to look at you again. ‘Shall we go to sleep?’ You offered, noticing how exhausted he was after a long evening and once he’d nodded you turned back onto your side and let him hold you close. Smiling at the way he was kissing your shoulder softly and nuzzled into your neck.

‘Hey Mase? Can I ask you something before we go to sleep?’

‘Anything’ he whispered, and the sound of his voice made your heart jump. Knowing he really would answer absolutely answer anything you asked him and this was something that had been plaguing your mind for a year.

‘That day I left to come home and you texted me the whole way, what did the message say that you deleted?’

You felt him let out a small chuckle, squeezing you a little before huffing and you knew it was something he probably never wanted to admit. You didn’t want to push him if that was the case but after a moment you felt his lips on your shoulder again as he began to speak.

‘It said, I think I’ve made a mistake. Can you come back and we’ll talk’ he told you quietly and you felt your heart pound at his confession. ‘I gave it ten minutes and said to myself if you hadn’t replied in that time then it wasn’t meant to be’

‘Mase’ you whispered, your eyes full of tears as a wave of regret from not checking your phone washed over you but he was quick to reassure you everything was fine.

‘It's okay, I’m glad you missed it’ he laughed. ‘It would have only made things worse probably. I needed that time to go through whatever was going on and realise how much I actually need you. Cause I really do’

‘I’m here’ you mumbled, turning you head to look at him and his whole face lit up as he looked down at you.

‘So am I. And I’m never going anywhere again okay?’

‘Me too’ you told him firmly before he finally lent down and placed the softest kiss to your lips. A feeling you’d waited almost a year for and when he pulled back to look at you, you almost felt disappointed but you could tell he was greedy for seconds. Diving right back in but with a bit more force this time and you let him do as he wished thankful the universe had brought him back to you.

[mingihttps]

Hii! I'd like to place a request for skz members reaction to you getting afraid of needles at the doctor's. I know it's a bizarre request but i would really appreciate if you wrote something like thiss :)

Love your work, take caree<33

i love this ask so much!! i'm also really scared of needles so this was pretty easy and fun to write for me!

being afraid of needles

skz x reader (separately)

all can be read as gn besides han

wc: 1.9k

warnings: needles, doctors, hospitals, crying, blood, mentions of veins (changbin, seungmin), mentions of pregnancy (han)

bangchan:

you needed to get blood drawn-

you had told yourself many times that you can handle one needle. you really needed to get this blood work done since you had been putting it off for way too long.

chan went with you to the hospital since he knew you were going to need some comfort.

you anxiously sat in the passenger seat of the car while chan drove. your leg never stopped bouncing in the car, in the waiting room, and into the hospital room.

you let out a deep breath when the nurses said that they were ready, squeezing chan’s hand tightly.

when you first saw the needle you started crying on the spot. seeing the butterfly needle that would be going into my skin and vein made the whole situation more real.

you couldn't help but curl into yourself and cry your eyes out.

the nurses looked at chan, confused and worried about you. chan explained that you were scared of needles to the nurses.

the nurses tried to calm you down, but after 20 minutes they gave up and said that they weren't comfortable drawing blood from you in this condition.

once the nurses (and the needle) left the room you started to calm down with the help of chan.

you and chan left the hospital without getting your blood drawn.

on the drive back home you repeatedly apologized to chan for making him drive you to the hospital for nothing.

“it's okay, baby, no one’s blaming you"

lee know:

getting a flu shot-

you were required to get a flu shot for work so there was no backing out of this one.

you went to your local drug store to get the shot, minho coming with you since he's well aware about your fear of needles.

when you got signed in they took you to a small but private back room behind the pharmacy counter.

lee know rubbed your shoulder comfortingly while waiting for the pharmacist to come back with the flu shot.

lee know had hyped you up for the shot, making you feel slightly more confident about getting this shot, you feel like you can do it.

the pharmacist came back into the room with a needle in his hand, making your stomach drop.

lee know grabbed your hand and squeezed it tightly as he sensed your discomfort.

the pharmacist started talking about how the flu shot is a ten second shot while most shots were three seconds so the needle was going to be in my arm for longer than you expect.

this information makes your stomach drop further and you can feel all the confidence you once had disappear.

lee know told you to take deep breaths and squeeze his hand.

you squeeze your eyes shut and lee know’s hand tightly while waiting for the needle to pierce your skin.

the shot burned slightly and definitely felt longer than ten seconds.

a couple tears fell from your tightly squeezed eyes as you felt the needle being pulled out and the pharmacist put a bandaid on your barely-bleeding wound.

you cried a little more in the car on the way home but you were happy you were able to sit through the shot.

while you were crying, lee know kept telling you how proud he was.

“you did amazing, kitten”

changbin:

getting an iv put in-

you had gone to the hospital for a check up but found out that you were very dehydrated.

the doctors at the hospital recommended getting an iv put in so you can immediately get the fluids you needed, you and changbin thinking that was probably the best thing to do as well.

you were already shaking like a leaf when the nurse put the elastic band on your arm, but you started crying the second you saw the needle.

the needle had a plastic tube on it, making you cry harder knowing that was going to be put into your arm.

the nurse found your vein and put the needle closer to your arm.

you cried harder as you felt the needle and plastic tube go into your arm at once.

changbin let you squeeze his hand the entire time, saying soft praises.

the nurse took the needle out and quickly taped the tube that was left in your arm.

changbin continued to praise you, calling you brave and letting you know that the worst part was over.

an iv drip was connected to the plastic tube and now you just had to wait.

within the 30 minutes that it takes for the drip bag to empty, you had calmed down significantly, but you were still very aware of the plastic tube in your vein.

“i'm so proud of you, doll”

hyunjin:

getting a tb test-

you needed to get a tuberculosis test for work.

your work suggested doing a blood test since the results would come quicker but you told them that getting your blood drawn was off the table.

you are familiar with the tb skin test shot so you agreed to that.

hyunjin was in the hospital room with you while you were waiting for the shot.

you didn't need much comforting since you figured that you could handle this one quick shot.

that was until the nurse was warning you that the tuberculin would burn when injected.

the new information made you draw your arm close to your chest, tears start to fill your eyes as you stare at the needle.

hyunjin tried to comfort you and tell you that the burn would only be temporary.

unfortunately, you were now too scared of the pain to take the shot. any ounce of confidence you once had was long gone.

you ended up having to contact your work and ask them for a chest x-ray instead.

“it's okay to be scared, my love”

han:

getting an epidural-

you were currently 20 hours into labor and in the hospital getting prepared to give birth.

the contractions were so painful that you didn't know how you were going to get through the birth itself.

every couple of minutes you squeezed han’s hand so tight that you sore you were breaking his fingers.

that's when the nurse asked if you wanted an epidural.

you were heavily considering it, knowing it would take away your pain, but you had already cried through getting an iv put in.

the thought of getting stuck with another needle, and one as long as the epidural needle, sounded terrifying.

han had told you that you should consider getting the epidural, wanting this process to be easier for you (and his hand) in any way possible.

the nurse had reminded you that you can get the epidural at any time and that you don't have to have it put in right now.

but as another contraction hit you hard, you had agreed to do it now.

the nurse got the epidural needle ready, tears quickly falling down your face when you see the 4 inch needle that would be going into your back.

you squeezed both of han’s hands tightly as the nurse put the needle and catheter into your lower back.

han continued to remind you that your pain would be gone soon.

the nurse distributed a little of the medicine into the catheter and after a couple of minutes you could feel your lower body getting numb.

“do you feel better, baby?”

felix:

getting a tattoo-

you were getting matching tattoos with one of your friends.

you had asked felix to join you so he could comfort you.

the tattoo was a small line work tattoo so it would thankfully be quick, but that didn't really comfort your fear of needles.

the artist had cleaned your skin and put on the stencil.

once you were sitting in the chair you held onto felix’s hand tightly.

you were starting to think if it was too late to back out of the tattoo but your friend was currently getting theirs done so you figured that would be too much of a dick move.

once you heard the buzzing of the tattoo machine you squeezed your eyes shut tightly.

felix talked to you the whole time you were getting your tattoo to help ease your mind.

you squeezed felix's hand tightly whenever the pain got worse, letting a few tears fall in the process.

after only 15 minutes the tattoo was done.

felix wiped away the tears on your face while telling you how good your new tattoo looked.

once the secondskin was put on over your fresh tattoo, felix kissed the skin beside it.

“maybe we should get matching tattoos next, sweetie”

seungmin:

getting your blood drawn-

you had been in and out of the hospital recently doing multiple tests since your health hasn't been the best.

one of the final tests that the doctors could do was to test your blood and you were dreading it.

seungmin had encouraged you to get your blood drawn so you could get properly diagnosed and hopefully improve your health.

after much convincing, you agreed to get your blood tested.

when you got to the hospital, you were taken back and your skin was cleaned.

once the electric band was put onto your upper arm, everything felt a little more real.

the doctor prepped the needle and slowly placed it into your vein.

you squeezed your eyes shut tightly and faced the opposite way as the needle.

every time the doctor told you to squeeze your fist, you just squeezed seungmin’s hand.

seungmin quietly comforted you by rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb.

soon, the doctor was done collecting your blood for testing and bandaging your arm.

you could barely feel your legs with your nerves and how much you were shaking.

seungmin gave you a comforting hug and helped you stand back up.

“that wasn't so bad, right?”

jeongin:

getting a piercing-

you were getting your helix piercing

you are scared of needles and know that a cartilage piercing is going to hurt, but you really wanted it.

you think you can handle a couple minutes of pain in order to have a piercing for life.

jeongin went with you to piercers to get it done so he could comfort you and keep you from backing out.

you waited in the black leather chair while the piercer was sterilized the needle.

when they were ready the piercer told lay on your back and turn your head to the opposite wall, which now made you facing jeongin.

you held jeongin’s hand tightly while staring into his eyes.

jeongin talked you through the piercing since you couldn't see what was happening.

he would tell you when the needle went all the way through all the way to when the jewelry was being put in.

you didn't cry during the piercing since you dissociated through the process.

your eyes welled up with tears slightly when you were handed the hand mirror so you could look at the fresh piercing when it was done.

you could barely focus on how good the jewelry looked when all you could see was the bright red flesh on your ear and blood around the new silver.

jeongin helped you clean the new piercing every night until it was healed.

“it looks so good on you, angel”

[daichiduskdrop]

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚⋆·˚ ༘ *𝙎𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡 ⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

Chapter 12

Pairing: BTS Ot7 X fem! reader

Genre: A/B/O AU, Fluff, Angst, Strangers to lovers,

Warnings: Slight mentions of unhealthy eating habits

Words: 3358

Taglist: @thelilbutifulthings @ilovemoneymorethenmen @singukieee @cherrysainttt @felicityroth @mageprincess7 @lucis-noctiana @danielle143 @osakis-gf @girl-nahh @vintageoldfashion @neverthefirstchoice @juju-227592 @silentreadersthings @i-have-no-life-charlie @everyonehatesshani @iamkookiesforyou @dragons-flare @fangirl125reader @roseidol

Previous:

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Smiling at the calming words, you rested fully against the alpha's shoulder, his large hands curling around your upper back, pulling you closer.

Hoseok chuckled at the soft interaction, knowing well that Yoongi was acting against his usual cold and shy nature, just for you. He wouldn't let even the youngest cuddle with him, and that said something.

You were just special for them.

Driving carefully, the car went slowly. There wasn't any snow falling at the current time, but the roads were glistening with ice, and so the alpha tried to avoid any possible accidents.

It didn't take much more than 20 minutes before they were able to see the university building from the main road. Turning on the closest street, Jungkook drove the vehicle to the parking lot available for the students.

When entering the school, along with a few other important documents and cards, all the students received a parking access card, allowing them to save some money.

Not a lot of the people there actually used it; it was much more common for them to just use the train, bus, or anything along those lines. A car was just an expense not many could afford.

Most of the students were betas, or alphas, because the lectures and assignments brought a high stress level that wasn't advised for omegas to endure every day. It was usual for alphas to drive cars; betas most of the time also had the licence, but for omegas, it was fairly unusual.

Passing the tests with the second-gender burden was just unlikely. Plus, even if some lucky ones managed to pass, most likely paid behind their backs by their pack alphas, they wouldn't always actually get the licence.

It wasn't a very honourable act to pay to pass any tests or bypass any important rules, but if a pack omega just so wanted to learn how to drive for whatever reason, would study so well for it, and would be nervous during any of the practise drives, the pack would just eventually soften up.

It was just harsh to see them fail and look so sad after it happened; usually the omegas would end up crying because of it too.

"They wouldn't need the licence anyways," was usually what the teachers at the driving school would say, blatantly obvious with just not wanting to allow them to drive.

Car accidents could end terribly, and a pack that has lost their omega for such things would most definitely carry the burden for way longer than healthy.

It was true, though; the passenger princess privelage omegas held was just too powerful.

And so, the parking lot was mostly empty, occupied in only at very few spots. Getting in the line before the lifting barrier, only a few cars stood before the pack's.

Noticing the driver being let in only after scanning a card, Jungkook turned to look at you, palms still holding the wheel fully.

„Babybun? Do you have card access for the parking lot, sweet bunny?” Nodding, you took your backpack from next to you, rummaging through it until you fished out your wallet.

Going through the many passes you didn't really use, you took out the dark blue card, which had a barcode at its bottom with your information printed out on top.

Handing it to Jin, he gave it to Jungkook's outstretched hand. Thanking you gently, the alpha drove a few metres forward after the last car went through.

Pulling the window down, he let the scan recognise your access, and the barrier pulled up right after. Driving in, he turned to park at one of the bigger slots, making sure not to bump into anyone's car.

Turning the engine off, seatbelts unbuckled, and doors opened, with you also slipping out in time. Yoongi carried your backpack for you and held it by one of the straps.

Zipping up your now slightly opened jacket for you, Jungkook smiled widely at you. „I'll keep the card for when one of us comes to pick you up later, okay, bun?” Rubbing your cheek with his knuckles, his warm and soft eyes settled on your form.

Nodding at it, you didn't have any issue with it. Turning to your backpack, you took out your college ID and hung it around your neck with the strap.

With the time quickly approaching closer and closer to 8, the alphas decided that going from the oldest to the youngest, they would share their goodbyes. With the first alpha approaching you, he took a hold of both of your hands, intertwining your fingers and squeezing them.

„Sweet cub, have fun at lessons today, okay? You can tell me all about them later. Text us if you need anything; we are always available for you. And eat your lunch well; I made it extra tasty just for you.”

Cooing at you, Jin stepped closer to you, his body feeling warm even through all the layers. His chin rubbed softly over the top of your head, scenting you just the smallest bit.

Stepping back, the man allowed his packmates to also say their goodbyes, but even then, he didn't let his eyes waver from your form, watching closely over you.

„My sweet kitten. Have a good day, hm? If anything happens, alphas are always ready to come here and get you. Pay attention in lessons and stay out of trouble, kitty.”

Yoongi didn't show much affection, instead choosing to just scent you, being much less obvious about it. Rubbing his hands around your soft face tenderly, he let his wrist scent glands do the trick.

After making deep eye contact with the alpha for a few seconds, he pulled away, helping you put on your backpack.

Smiling widely at you, the next alpha pulled you to his chest right away, rubbing both of his palms over your sides, being mindful not to bump into your bag.

„Sunshine, have a great day. What is your schedule today anyway?"

„Um..I have to meet my course leader first, since it's Monday. I'll be in the studio until lunch break, and then I should have some lectures and then continue on some assignments again.” You said, thinking about your schedule for the day.

Usually, it was pretty much the same every day, but Mondays were a bit different, with meeting up with the course leader in the morning. They were there to explain and inform you about any upcoming events or assignments for the week, going over all the work you have done for the past week.

„That sounds like a lot, bub. You aren't too tired now, are you? My baby, be careful on yourself, please.” Already getting too worried for any good reason, he wrapped his arms around your head, pushing you under his chin.

Breathing in your scent, he felt his nerves settle down a bit. With his chin gently going over your hairline, he too left a bit of his scent lingering on you. Pursing his lips in disappointment, he pulled away after prolonging the hug for a good few seconds, gently rubbing your shoulders before he stepped away.

„Okay, babypup, pay good attention to your lessons, sweetheart. Make sure you do well in your classes, and if anything happens, tell the alphas right away; we are here to protect you.” Looking into your eyes with his neck bended towards you, you nodded at Packalpha's words.

Gentle and caring, yet strict at the same time. Namjoon always cared about studies, and you doing well in your lessons was very important to him. He knew a bit about art, but even if he didn't, he was more than willing to study anything to be able to help you if you had any troubles.

Gently patting the back of your head for a few rhythms, he hummed in approval when you nodded. Rubbing his cheek on your hair, he let his scent cover you fully. You gripped his fingers tightly before you let him pull away again.

„Aigoo, princess, make sure you have lots of fun with your classmates today, hm? We already added you to our group chat, so make sure you message us throughout the day, sweet baby. Alphas will get worried otherwise!”

Whining through his chuckles, Jimin shook you softly, making you also erupt in soft giggles. Pleased with the sound, he also carefully pulled you close to his body, snuggling up against your warm neck and cheeks.

With you well scented, he felt satisfied with his work, allowing the other alphas to also say their goodbyes.

„Babycheeks, be careful alright? If anyone picks on you, you tell us immediately. Do you understand? ...good girl. Take photos of what you made; you can show me later today. I would love to see.”

Nodding into his neck, you breathed in the musky scent he carried. He felt worried about leaving you out of his sight after having you drop twice already these past two days. It was just worrying for him.

With his fingers combing through your hair, Taehyung squeezed your cheeks a little, pinching them and laughing widely at your face. You were just adorable, weren't you?

With his small wrist scent glands doing a good job of scenting you well, he felt satisfied with his work, letting the youngest do his own thing.

„Babybun, I will get lonely without you like this! You have to text me, okay, so I don't cry! I will, I really will—no, baby, don't laugh! Nooo, yah! Stop! Aish..” His fake sobs were just ridiculous; his face looked too funny for you to handle.

Hugging him instead, you could hear the loud coos of the other men around you, making you hide your face in the alpha's chest better. Giggling himself, he rubbed his palms over your sides himself, his knuckles caressing your cheeks gently.

Stepping away after a few more moments, you adjusted the card around your neck and shyly looked down. The men didn't leave yet, watching over you with soft eyes. Sighing out, you knew you had to go now.

„I'll go now...” You softly whispered, about to turn on your heel, when Namjoon answered.

„Be a good girl for alphas today.” The packalpha said, and with your shy nod, you made your way to the entrance of your college.

The pack watched over you fondly, making sure you left inside safely. And so, after you turned a corner, they all eventually piled back in the van, the time showing 7:54. They didn't have any strict schedules they always had to comply with, but they had scheduled meetings for the day.

They didn't mind, though; even if they were a little late, saying proper goodbyes to you was much more important to them.

Rounding the corner, you walked through the busy corridors, many scents erupting from all around you. It wasn't too loud; most of the people who studied at art schools were more introverted and quiet. Still, with the many people you didn't know well and the scents they carried, the noise was a bit overwhelming.

Shrugging off your coat and placing it in your locker, you locked it, taking just your backpack. Continuing on your way to the studios, yours was at the bottom level of the school, right next to all the printing techniques.

It was just more convenient for all the students since a lot of the time fine arts included sculptures and other various materials, and you were also used to going to the printing techniques quite frequently. The giant machines were placed downstairs for obvious reasons.

Walking through the open space where a lot of the figurative drawing classes were held, you made your way to the room you shared with the few classmates you had. Opening the doors, you bent your head so you wouldn't accidentally meet anyone's eyes.

There weren't many people in your class anyway, and sharing it with only six others was a pretty private experience if you were being honest. Fine arts weren't just that popular for a major, very understandably so.

Taking a seat at the corner of the big table, you all piled together, waiting for the teacher to arrive.

❄️

„And the curating? How is it going?” The man asked, watching over his class. The exhibitions would take place in just about a week or so, and so it was important to get the finishing touches down.

After splitting up the class into two equal groups, it was assigned for them to help curate two exhibitions, one for each. The works of the other students would be shown too, with the show held in the school building a few days before Christmas.

They had to do everything basically by themselves, and that was a lot of work, having to label everything, prepare all the work on time, and get it together with no issues.

You shared the project with two betas, a boy named Chin-Hae and another girl named Sun-Hi. They didn't let you do much stuff completely by yourself, so you more or less helped them around. Most of the talking with other students was done by them, with you being close by.

Neither of them talked too much with you, but with a few of the other classmates, they were a lot more outgoing. You didn't mind, though, feeling a little too shy to try and approach them with anything else but the project you were required to work on together.

„We are working on the posters for it right now; we still have to finalise all the names. Not much left to do.” Sun-Hi spoke, her voice sounding velvety and calm.

Even if the group seemed mostly well collected, they were more than worried. The preparations have been taking over two months now, and it's been complicated getting the work ready.

„Alright. Do you have some sketches or anything? I can look over it with you.” Nodding at that, the beta pulled out her laptop, unlocking it, and after a minute, she turned the screen to the teacher.

There wasn't much yet done for the poster; together they only decided on the colour scheme and font but didn't go too deep into how it would actually look. You had some ideas on your mind, but you didn't expect the group to actually use them.

Looking at the screen for a second, you nervously sat next to the teacher and the two other classmates opposite you. Hiding your palms under the sleeves of the jumper you wore, you huddled closer to yourself.

Nodding at your work, the teacher mentioned finishing it within two or so days at the maximum because they had to present the whole preparation process by Friday. He would be able to help them at least a little until then, but when Friday hits, he won't be able to do much.

Thanking him quietly, the teacher then went over the other students work for the assignments given for the month. Checking over how they were progressing, he was quick to give any needed help.

With every assignment, you were given a written note going over what techniques you had to use, the theme, colours, and any other notes that had to be made. Everything else was fully up to you.

With the sketches already done, you were moving quickly with the work you still had to do since it had to be done before the Christmas holidays. The critiques would be held the day after New Year's celebrations, and you had to have everything done by then.

You weren't too wowed by the theme. „What is your problem?” just sounded a bit lame to your ears, but you did get a few nice ideas you continued to work on further.

You liked that the sentence could be interpreted and said in so many different ways, from a caring and worried question all the way to a rude and sarcastic remark.

You wanted to hold on to that thought for a little longer, wanting to maybe even collaborate with someone you thought would never understand your perspective and view. And so, after telling your kind teacher about your idea, he was quick to help.

Providing you with a contact for a senior alpha man you had never met in your life before, he helped you arrange a short meeting, held on the school grounds, where the man arrived.

It was an experience you never really thought about going through before, but you decided to trust it, and you believed you would be able to make an artwork after the appointment.

And so the day you met up with the elder, you were led to the cafeteria with your teacher with you, helping you get settled down for a second or two before he also left. It was a little bit awkward at first; the alpha's face was obviously more than tired.

You still remember the bright white coat he wore and the thick knitted scarf he tightly wrapped around his neck. With a walking stick held by him, the man took a seat by the small table in the cantine, his wire-rimmed glasses perched up on his big nose.

Even when it intimidated you at first greatly, soon you went on talking with the alpha, and shockingly, he felt very sweet towards you. A bit confused with the new technologies, he was actually very nice to talk to.

When you told him about the assignment, he laughed loudly and was quick to answer the question. „I got old, and so will you.”

With the main idea of your work already so easily said by him, you now had a few nice ideas you wanted to carry out further. Wanting to phase the whole project around age and mostly time, you weren't too sure what to exactly present, but choosing to do multimedia just felt right for this.

You knew making a video could be risky, especially with the music that would have to play in the background, the animation, and everything else that was just time-consuming, but you had already prepared well for it by creating a plan and taking a few photos you wanted to include.

And so, going over all the stuff you had prepared earlier last week, your teacher also helped you around, making sure you understood well what was wanted.

It didn't feel like a long time passed before it was lunch break. You were actually quite excited for it, going from being huddled up before the notebook the school would provide you with to finally stretching out again.

Unzipping your backpack, you pulled out the steel dosirak case. It was cold by now, but you hoped that the alpha would have only packed food that was usually eaten cold. You hated when your meals, which were usually served warm, would go icy. It just tasted different.

There was rice in one of the side compartments, four kimbap neatly placed in a line, cut-up lotus roots in one of the smaller placements, sesame seeds sprinkled on top, and a bit of bulgogi was also in the lunch box.

It looked like a meal you would buy at a restaurant, not a lunch you would take from home. Feeling excited, you went on to take a bite with the wooden chopsticks Jin gave you, the case safely tucked in the box with a few napkins placed around it.

It tasted good, and so you kept coming back for seconds, having, for once in your life, truly finished the whole box without having to force yourself even a little. Your tastebuds were dancing in delight, and you had your stomach filled up once again.

With only a bit of the beef, lotus, and rice left for your afternoon snack, you were more than satisfied.

Taking your phone out, you reminded yourself to thank the pack's oldest for the nice meal he must have whipped up for you the last evening and morning. Opening WhatsApp, you were already added to a group with a few text notifications.

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Next:

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for complimenting my friend behind her back?

🙎‍♀️

I have 2 friends. We’re all in our 20’s. Mary* and Suzy* are both my friend but have history. I’m close to Mary even though I’ve known Suzy same amount of time, but Suzy and I have recently started to hang out more.

I know both girls aren’t giving me the full drama what happen when I ask. Basically they use to be friends and then Suzy ghosted Mary. Suzy told me they were friends, but Mary started using her as a a punching bag and Suzy let it go on for too long and no longer wanted to be her friend. She didn’t offer repair of their relationship because she thought the friendship had runned its course. What I don’t know is what was Mary doing? Like what are some examples. Mary tells me Suzy just stopped talking to her one day and started hanging out with more “sucessful” people. Suzy has always been an extrovert while Mary likes to stay in more.

Anyway I’ve been hanging out with Suzy a lot. She often accommodates me (drives me, or pays for the Uber) she’ll often buy my meal. Suzy also has a lot of good anxiety advice which I was suprised about and she’s a good listener. It makes me sad that she doesn’t like Mary because I think Mary does need someone like Suzy in her life. I know Suzy has a little more deeper feelings than just “we were done so I just left” because it seems like reconnection is not an option. I just feel like Suzy doesn’t want to paint Mary in a bad light because she knows Mary and I are friends.

I have mentioned reconnection but Suzy always declines. Mary secretly not out right but has expressed she wouldn’t mind reconnecting with Suzy. Shes said “maybe we should all get together sometime.” Shell ask if Suzy talks about her (she doesn’t).

I was able to get them together a few times for a few events. Suzy was very surface level with her just asking her how she is but not getting deep. Mary had actual said a few passive things about herself and Suzy. Suzy wouldn’t respond to the passive aggressive to herself or she would say something postive about Mary when Mary was self deprecating.

At my last event Suzy got drunk and Mary had offered to drive her home since Mary was sober. It was like Mary had genuinely wanted to talk to her alone and maybe clear the air. Suzy declined her offer four times (she was getting an Uber)

After that event Suzy had told me she doesn’t really want to see Mary and I asked her why and she said she just doesn’t like being around her. I tried to pry a little more and Suzy just told me she very much values my friendship but doesn’t want to hangout with Mary.

Mary has actually been mad that Suzy didn’t accept her car ride offer home. Mary was mad that Suzy would rather pay an overpriced cab than spend a 20 minute car ride with her. That I understood. But then Mary started going deeper saying that Suzy isn’t smart with her money and has always been stuck up, that she would rather Suzy be hateful to her face and not behind her back, and that Suzy is just a coward.

I felt bad because I know Mary has unresolved feelings about Suzy, but I realized that Suzy had probably been keeping the peace for me.

My next hang out with Mary she was digging into Suzy’s character saying she drinks too much and partied too much. I told Mary she doesn’t give Suzy enough credit, Suzy is very understanding and kind and generous and that her partying and drinking doesn’t make her a bad person. Mary went quiet.

Mary didn’t talk to me for a week and then apologized. She said Suzy is a sore subject and that me being friends with her is hard because she wishes she could ask me not to be friends with her but won’t because Suzy does make me happy and it seems like Suzy isn’t actively out to ruin our friendship. She doesn’t want to hear about Suzy when we’re together.

I feel bad because it wasn’t until early in my reconnection with Suzy I knew she was a sore spot for Mary. I thought if I got them together they could be friends again, but the more Suzy backs away the more Mary gets angry, and I don’t know whose really justified since they both don’t tell me full stories. But I also feel like I really triggered Mary when I defended Suzy because I had known she felt rough about that rejection and I just didn’t let her vent on it .

[h-c-u]

The Youngest Student

Summary: You're left without a nanny last second, so you decide to take your daughter to class with you.

Pairing: profesor Toto Wolff x PhD fem!reader

W/C: 1.5k

Rating: PG, age gap (reader is in late 20s)

A/N: I was about to write part 6 of No Longer a Secret, but this short blurb kinda... happened. So, I'm sorry to anyone who might be waiting for the next part. I promise it's in the works <3  I know Daisy's age is not specified, but I see her as being... 5-6 months old :) Also - it's inspired by >>this<<

Masterlist | List of tags

You were about to call your nanny, but a text from her came in just as you were grabbing your phone. 

"I'm really sorry for letting you know so late, but I won't be able to make it today. On my way to your house, me and I sister got into an accident, and my arm is broken. We're currently in the hospital, but there is no chance I will make it." 

After reading the message, you wanted to instantly call Cassie to see how she was doing; you cared much more about her health than her services as a nanny, although during the last four months, she was a godsend. But even before you dialed her number, you realized that she was probably scared and calling her family to let them know what happened, so instead of being one more conversation, you opted out for a short message. 

"Don't worry about us. I just hope that you and your sister are ok. Please, let me know if there is anything I could do, and in the meantime - focus on getting better."

After that, you quickly shot a message to the father of your child, but he didn't reply, and if you didn't want to be late for your only lecture of the day, you had to leave soon. For a moment you considered not going and staying at home with your daughter, but she had just been fed and burped, which meant a long nap, most likely even longer than the class itself. 

So instead of ditching, you moved her to the carrier, careful not to wake her up, and put a thick blanket over it, so both the light and noises would be muted, and she could continue sleeping without any interruptions. 

The drive to your college wasn't long, but you still got into the classroom just as the lecture was about to begin, so there was no time for you to explain the situation in more detail. 

- I'm sorry to bring her in... The sitter canceled, and she's just been fed so she should sleep through the whole lecture, but if she wakes up, I'll leave not to cause any disturbance... - you whispered quietly to Professor Wolff, but in the dead silence of the room, your voice still carried. You were older than the rest of this class and there was a wedding band on your finger, so the fact that you had a child wasn't exactly a surprise. What was surprising though, was your usually stoic professor who hated surprises donning a giant smile on his face, when he raised a blanket you put over the carrier just a little, to see your little girl. 

- It's ok, don't worry about it. - he replied, still looking at Daisy, completely enamored by her. You let him do that for a moment longer, but eventually, you took the blanket from his hand and put it down. He cleared his throat, realizing that the lecture was supposed to start around five minutes ago.

You quickly went to your usual seat, took out your laptop, and got ready to take notes, only this time with your daughter sleeping soundly in a carrier that you put on the desk next to you. 

About halfway through, you heard that your daughter woke up and was getting fussy, but she wasn't in that state when she was a disturbance yet, so you gently took her out of the carrier and laid her on your left arm, while you continued taking notes with your right. And it was working for a while... You weren't sure if it was unfamiliar smells or sounds, but her mood continued to deteriorate, even though she was wearing her favorite frog onesie, with the hood that was currently blocking at least some of the sounds and lights. You tried to lull her back to sleep by gently rocking her on your arm, but that didn't help, and just as you were about to close your laptop and leave, not to disturb other students, you saw Professor Wolff coming closer. You were about to apologize, but he just smiled, winked, and took Daisy in his arms, where she instantly calmed down. 

There was a very brief moment when you expected some sort of reaction from the other students, but besides a few hushed comments about how natural Professor Wolff looked with a baby in his arms, there was nothing, and the lecture continued. 

Your daughter eventually fell asleep again, calmed down by Toto's deep voice, and when she did, he put a green hood with embroidered eyes deeper over her head. She remained like that till the end of the lecture.

You couldn't help but smile every time you looked at them together, and you had to force yourself to actually pay attention, which proved to be challenging. 

But you made it, and when the end of the class was announced, you slowly packed your things, while the other students were leaving the room, a few of the female ones, unusually slowly, their eyes lingering on the professor and your daughter a bit too long, but you couldn't blame them, because you were doing the exact same. Eventually, you were alone and the door to the room automatically closed.

You came closer to the desk he was almost sitting on and put a carrier on the papers that were covering almost the whole surface. Toto leaned down to press a quick kiss on your forehead; after all - you were still in school. And even though the dean was informed about your relationship first - when Toto accepted a job offer here three years ago, and once again - earlier this year, when you came back to the university to finish your Ph.D. after the birth, neither of you wanted to advertise your marriage left and right, and walls here had eyes. 

- Cassie was in an accident on her way to us, and she broke her arm... I think we should give her a few weeks off because she seemed more afraid that we won't have anyone to take care of Daisy and disappointing me than she was about her visit to the hospital. - you explained, taking your daughter out of his arms, and putting her back in the carrier. 

- Is she all right? - he asked, watching you securing the clasps and putting the blanket over it once again. 

- She seemed to be, but I don't know much more... I didn't want to call and intrude, since everything was fresh when she messaged me. I'll check in with her in the evening. - you added, throwing the jacket over your shoulders, and moving your hair from under it. - You have one more lecture, right? - you made sure, and he sighed. 

- Yes... In half an hour. Although I doubt it will be as pleasant as this one. - he smiled, pulled you closer by your jacket, and kissed you softly. - Seeing you two honestly made my day. - you put your arms around him, letting yourself drown in his strong arms for a moment, but you didn't close your eyes, because you knew that if you did, you would fall asleep right then and there, standing up. You were good at keeping appearances, but being a new parent, even with such a well-behaved baby as Daisy, was exhausting, so you took every short moment of peace and quiet you could get. 

- I should go... - you whispered against his shirt and your words were followed by a loud sigh because you honestly didn't want to leave.

- Or... You could take a nap on the couch in my office, and I can take care of Daisy. - he proposed and you almost started crying from relief; he could always see right through you. Your first instinct was to ask him if he was sure, but the more rational thought, backed up by years of a relationship with him followed, saying that he was. 

- Thank you... - he squeezed your body a little harder before letting you go. 

- Come on then... - he took the carrier with your sleeping daughter from the desk, fished the keys to his office from the pocket of his jacket, and led you to the small room, not that far from the class he was teaching in. You almost fell onto the soft couch, letting the pillows swallow you whole, but before you fell asleep, you felt Toto putting a soft blanket that smelled like a fabric softener you used at home over your body. 

There was a moment when you woke up in a panic after about an hour, but as soon as you heard a familiar low rumble of Toto’s deep voice, carrying through the corridors despite the closed doors, you remembered what happened and went back to sleep. 

A/N 2: Please don’t feel obligated/pressured to reblog, because I write mostly for myself. A comment would be appreciated though :) Love, G.

[lilliths-httyd-blog]

Fuck it. Earthquake Drill/PSA time.

If you see this post, AND:

A: You are in a setting in which it is socially acceptable for you to do so without reason, i.e. you are alone in private (pretty much the only acceptable setting actually XD)

B: You are capable of doing so without causing yourself pain, discomfort, ailment or inconvenience due to a disability, injury etc.

Drop, Cover and Hold

Move no more than a few steps - the fewer, the better. Move away from any tall objects like bookshelves or TVs which could hypothetically fall on you.

Immediately drop to the floor, onto your knees. This controlled fall will prevent you from being knocked to the ground by an actual earthquake and gives you more control over your movements as well as faster reaction time. You want to avoid being knocked down by an earthquake where at all possible.

If there is a sturdy desk near you, crawl and get under it. If not, stay where you are, so long as it is a safe place.

Cover the back of your head and neck with your hands and form the turtle position, like you'd do in a tornado or if a nuclear bomb went off.

If you are under a sturdy table, keep your neck covered with one hand and use the other to hold onto one of the legs of the table if you can. This is a critical in an actual earthquake, as in a strong earthquake the table will most likely move (esp if it has wheels on it). You have to be prepared to move with your table when it does so. If it is jolted to the left by shaking, you crawl to the left with it.

If you are NOT under a sturdy table, keep turtle-ing.

Stay in this position for 20-30 seconds if you are practicing, or until you are sure that the shaking has stopped in a real earthquake. Check that your surroundings are safe before standing up again and for the love of fuck be careful not to hit your head on the table on the way out.

If there's just been an actual earthquake, turn on the radio for further instruction. If you're just practicing, find out what station you should tune into in the event of an actual emergency. If your area doesn't utilise the radio as a means of post-disaster instruction, what the fuck??

Congrats! You just practiced what you should do in an earthquake. These steps should come to you automatically, you should know them by heart and be able to immediately leap into action when the ground starts to shake. If you don't, practice every now and then until you're do.

ALTERNATIVE STEPS:

If you have a disability, you should have your own set of personalised earthquake safety steps that you can take. These steps will be unique to you and your needs.

If you are driving, slow down, pull over and stop until the shaking stops. Stay in your car. After the shaking has stopped, you need to assess your own situation. How bad was that earthquake? Is it safe to continue driving? Are the roads damaged? Will emergency services need the roads to be clear? Before an earthquake hits, you should think about what you'd do in these types of situations.

If you're in bed, use your pillow as a shield for your head and your blankets to shield your body from flying glass, etc.

If you're on the beach, Drop, Cover and Hold until the shaking stops and then fucking run (DO NOT PANIC) as tsunami may be imminent. If the earthquake was light, you should be fine as the risk of tsunami is low, but get out of there anyway just in case. If the shaking made it hard to stand up or lasted longer than twenty seconds, get the fuck out of there as fast as you can because those are tsunami conditions, motherfucker. You need to reach high ground or be as far inland as possible. If you can reach high ground (at least 75-100 meters above sea level) within five minutes of running/walking, then go on foot. If there will be traffic congestion, go on foot. Only go in your car if it will get you to higher ground faster than running would AND if it will not cause congestion (e.g. your beach is in an area with a low population). Unsure? Go on foot. Do not enter alleyways or narrow streets unless it is absolutely critical to your survival and you can exit them again with haste. Best to stick to wide-open areas such as paddocks, fields and wide streets.

Your school, workplace and other facilities that you use will have their own specialised earthquake safety protocols. Follow the instructions of the authority figures in these settings. If you are in a supermarket or a similar retail setting, leave your trolley behind when you evacuate the building, I beg of you. You'd be surprised how many people (boomers) will throw hissy fits at having to leave their groceries behind in events such as fire drills and building evacuations. Please don't be one of these people.

Assess other setting you may be in and determine what you would do if an earthquake hits. As I live in earthquake-prone New Zealand, I've made it a habit of mine to assess the settings and locations that I frequent and determine the best course of action.

DO NOT:

Run outside. Running outside in an earthquake is your cheat code to immediate death. Falling signage, building facades, chimneys, scaffolding and other hazards could, and do kill people. Stay where you are. If you are walking outside a shop with a facade above the street and an earthquake hits, step away from the facade immediately.

Panic. Earthquakes are not the end of the world, they're just the ground having a bit of a rave. If you can react calmly and efficiently to take the appropriate steps, you'll be fine.

Seek shelter in your doorway UNLESS you are absolutely certain that it really is safer than the rest of the structure of your house. In all likelyhood, your doorway will be no safer than the rest of your house, and then there's the combined hazard of swinging doors to worry about as well. You'll probably be safer to just Drop, Cover and Hold. It really does depend on your house, and this is something that you will need to assess for yourself.

Go anywhere near fallen, exposed or otherwise sketchy powerlines, or just powerlines in general. Treat all wires as live at all times, even if there's a power outage.

Go near the beach shortly after an earthquake. Wait until you've received an all-clear from your local authorities before going near the beach.

Light candles. If your house uses gas for a stove, heating, etc, do not light candles, matches, lighters or anything which can produce a spark or open flame. Turn off the gas at the mains after any strong earthquake. You won't know if there's a gas leak in some instances. Best to get out of your house if a gas leak seems likely, or if you start to suffer the side effects of gas inhalation. And if you smell gas, turn it off at the mains if you can and/or get the fuck out. Only light candles when it's absolutely necessary (ALWAYS DEFAULT TO TORCHES/FLASHLIGHTS AND HEADLAMPS) AND only if you live in a house like mine where there is no gas usage, AND only if you are capable of extinguishing the candles at a moments notice. Best to only use tealights or candles with sturdy bases, and never leave a candle out of arms reach (never leave a candle unattended, earthquake or not). In general, avoid needing to use candles at all: have enough spare batteries for your torches to last until power can be turned on again (could be days or weeks).

Walk in floodwater, drink floodwater, drive in floodwater, etc. After an earthquake, you may experience flooding from ruptured water pipes, etc. I will be frank: This water may contain shit and piss in it. Also glass, metal, other harmful chemicals, a bunch of stuff. You can't see through floodwater due to its murky properties. There could be gators in there and you wouldn't know it. Don't touch it.

Open your fridge or freezer door. Food in there can keep for hours when the power goes out, so long as you keep the doors shut.

Go barefoot after a strong earthquake or if there's glass/debris etc. Find shoes, put the shoes on. Wear the shoes.

Also many other 'don't do's' but this post is getting too long so please go read up on these yourselves. What you should and shouldn't do depends on where you live. Go research it for yourself, it may save your life. Also put together both an emergency kit and an evacuation kit: you'll find plenty of guides online for how to construct these.

Earthquake safety is fucking important, and you should know how to react in an earthquake even if you are not living in an earthquake prone area - you never know when you're gonna be caught out, as fault lines can often remain completely unknown and invisible until they strike. I've met immigrants who have come to New Zealand from non-earthquakey countries and haven't known what to do (babe how do you come to the shaky isles and not know what to do if the ground starts to shake omg). Plate tectonics, volcanoes, explosions, meteor atmospheric entries (lol shockwaves), mine bumps, shitty ground infrastructure etc can all cause minor to severe earthquakes (or similar shaking effects). If nothing else, keep in mind Drop, Cover and Hold. That shit's lifesaving.

And yes I have a hyperfixation on these things, don't judge me. Kid-me grew up during/post Canterbury Earthquake Sequence, no wonder my ADHD ass started obsessing over these things.

[jillsandwhichs]

Our Future Day's

Joel Miller x Reader series , Chap 1 , Move in day

Masterlist

Pairing: Fem!reader x Joel Miller

Summary: You officially move from oregan to texas and get to meet your very new & handsome neighbor, Joel

WC: 3.1k

Type: SFW

Some thing's you need to know before reading: this is a series, not a one shot collection! you (the reader) already have a semi premade backstory. first off, you're originally from oregon. you studied at med school and got a job offer in texas to become a doctor, which you took. you are 23 in this but if you don't like that, imagine any age (18+) and i did make joel younger 26 (until the 20 year time jump, he'll be 46) but he does still have sarah, just pretend it's not wonky LMAO! one more thing, ya have a dog in this fic, he's a boy but imagine any breed you'd like! aside from that, this is tlou game version but i included some sides from the show! a couple more things: 1. all characters from tlou1/2 will be mentioned/featured. 2. this takes place before outbreak, then eventually outbreak day, then eventually in the apocalypse. 3. this is a slow burn romance (drabbles of it in each chapter though, esp when it progresses) and does feature a decent amount of smut. 4. JOEL NEVER DIES!!!

A/n: Hi! Hope you all enjoy. Please check out my masterlist, there's a lot of stuff there. You can get to know me, you can see the rules of my blog and then you can see all of my fanfictions. You'll be able to find the previous chapters to this fic and upcoming ones. You'll also be able to find my Wattpad & AO3. Thank you

Tapping your fingers on the steering wheel, you matched the beat of the song playing on your cars radio. It was a song by Blake Shelton. You weren't a huge fan of him but he had some classics. It has been such a long day for you. You've been driving for the past two hours, not a single break in between. You just wanted to get to your new home as soon as you could. You could tell your dog, Becker, needed to go potty as well. He'd just have to hold out.

The GPS on your phone stated you were only about ten minutes away. The center of Austin TX was busy as all hell, so that time span could get longer by the second. So many cars & people flooded the streets. "God dammit." You mumbled to yourself, rolling your eyes as you seen all the upcoming traffic ahead. This was going to be a long night. You had no clue when you'd even be able to get into bed. Then again, it was only 4:30 in the afternoon, almost evening.

Behind you, in the backseat, you could hear Becker whimpering & whining. "Don't worry boy, we're almost home, just a little bit longer." You cooed to him, reaching your right hand back and allowing him to lick you. You got Becker as a graduation gift a few weeks ago. You two have bonded ever since. You were never a cat person, dog's were more of your style. "You'll be able to go potty soon." You said to him, pulling your hand back up and holding onto the wheel.

Traffic wasn't going as slow as you intended, was traffic always going to be like this though? This ain't going to be pleasant if so. Especially working for the hospital. Imagine an emergency happens and you're needed but the roads are packed, that's going to be one helluva time. But, you wanna think positively. You missed your family too. It's going to be hard without them, especially your mom. She is your number one supporter and without her in the same home as you, it'll be a large change.

You turned the radio up, hearing the country music blast throughout your car but not loud enough to scare your dog. Dogs ears are sensitive and you didn't wanna bother him further than he already was. No doggo wants to be stuck in a car all day, especially in this heat. Despite it being early September, it was still quite warm out. That's another big change from Oregon, you imagine that back home, it's either really windy or heavily raining. The change could be nice though.

The sound of Becker panting was clear as day, it only made you feel more guilty. "Hold on baby." You muttered to him before you then rolled your window down and the window directly behind you, not a lot though, you didn't want him to jump out or something. Through your rearview mirror, you could see his slobbery tounge blowing in the wind as he stuck his head out the window. "Hah, good boy!" You giggled, turning left onto the exit, finally getting off of this miserable highway.

Finally, the road wasn't full anymore. It was a downtown rural area now, cars slowly made their way through the town. Austin is busy, yes, but this side of it, not so much. The only logical reason it was super busy on the highway and earlier roads was because people are getting/going to work. Your first day at the hospital is on Monday. You were nervous but in a great way. You have been non stop thinking about it. All of the work you've put in and you're officially where you wanted to be. Life was going good... For once...

You passed by all sorts of different places. Gas stations, fast food chains, locally owned stores & stands, it felt so honey. Back in Oregon, you lived in the center of the city, it was always so lively and never calm. Austin is like that too but not as bad, and definitely not as bad as Dallas is. You were grateful you didn't end up moving there or even somewhere that was worse. Austin was a good enough fit for you.

The GPS showed you were only a minute or two away from home, your heart was racing a bit. You've never been on your own before and you least expected it to be in a completely different state. Luckily, a week from now, you'll be going back home for the weekend. It'll be comforting. You'll definitely make sure to call your family everyday, you made sure they knew that too. They'd have to simply put up with it.

You could tell you were getting closer due to the change in scenery. There weren't any establishments around these parts, just either compact or extensive suburban homes. You actually used to make fun of those perfect American families who lived in these types of areas but look at you now. Back home, you lived in a small house, only two bedrooms but you were an only child so it was never a problem. You did wish for siblings growing up but you understand now that if you had some, things would be a whole lot different.

As you turned left, the tracker built into your phone made a dinging noise, indicating you had arrived at your destination. It wasn't wrong. Just to the left, you could see your newly purchased home. It made your heart skip a beat. Not only were you nervous but you were also so happy. You glimmered as you pulled right into the driveway and set your car in park. You could tell Becker knew this was your guy's new home, his whimpers weren't ones of boredness but rather excitement. "One second." You sighed out before getting out of the car.

Stepping out of your car, you sighed softly as you breathed in the fresh air. The smell of outside was always so welcoming. You grabbed your purse out of your car too and swung it across your shoulder. It was a brown leather purse with an embroidered strap. You then opened up the backseat so Becker could jump on out. "Stay over here buddy." You chuckled out, scratching the top of his head a few times before closing both doors. You had quite a bit of stuff in your trunk & backseat but you hired a truck to drive all of your other belongings here. It wouldn't be there for another day or so.

Becker ran off to the side of the house to go potty ; You trusted him enough to not run off. He was a good dog. You went to the back of your car and popped open your trunk. It was a mess but everything you needed for the night was in there. You even bought an air mattress, your back would die trying to sleep on a wooden floor. You grabbed the first two boxes, they weren't very big, and set them on the concrete of your driveway. They just had toiletries in them.

You grabbed out another box, this one was a bit bigger than the other two. It had all of your kitchen appliances in it. You were excited to cook your very first dinner in your very own home. You already decided on making Pesto Pasta, one of your favorites. In your trunk, there was the air mattress box. It wasn't going to be the best way to sleep but it'd have to suffice for the night, your proper bed should be in either tomorrow or on Sunday.

Whilst grabbing out the air mattress, you heard the sound of a truck driving past and pulling into the driveway across from you. They must've been your neighbors. Your neighbors back home weren't the nicest. There were the Johnson's so were beyond uppity and thought they were better than everyone else, they lived beside you. Then there was Cassandra and Cody, they were your age and pretty kind except they were literal kleptos.

You ignored the truck behind you, just trying to get everything you needed for the night. You could hear Becker barking but you didn't know what it was he was doing it at. You figured a wild animal, maybe a bunny or a stray. Becker was actually from a shelter, you'd never buy an animal from PetSmart or whatever. "Becker, quit your barking!" You shouted at him, nudging him to come over to you. Maybe he wasn't good with new environments.

You placed the last cardboard box from your trunk on top of another one, shooting your eyes to look at Becker. He was looking at the truck across the street, barking at it. "Oh boy, quit it." You spoke out to him but he didn't listen. You went to grab onto his collar but right as you did, he bolted off into their driveway. He was a friendly dog, you didn't think he'd do anything bad, he was just inquisitive, but it was still bad of him to run off like that.

"Becker!" You yelled, jogging across the street to grab him. You watched as two men got out of the black truck. The one in the driver's seat had a mullet and lighter hair than the other man, he also seemed shorter. The other one though had short dark hair, although you couldn't tell if it was purely brown or black. He was well built, along with the other man. Were they brothers? That's the only assumption that came to mind.

Once you reached their driveway, you grabbed Becker and pulled him back to you. The man getting out of the passenger seat looked back at you and had a puzzled look before letting out a chuckle beneath his breath. "Listen, I'm so sorry, he's just curious." You sighed out. Becker was now listening as he sat down right by your feet. "Sorry, we'll be out of your hair." You giggled, beginning to turn around before you heard the man's voice speak up.

"You just move in across the street?" He asked you, his voice sounded southern and it was very deep. "Oh uhm, yeah, just got here tonight actually." You said kindly, looking back at him again. "Well, welcome then, and to your dog." He snickered out. "I'm Joel, this is Tommy." Joel spoke deeply, pointing over at the other man. You let the two men know your name before asking them whether or not they were brothers, and they were. You weren't surprised, they did share similar facial features.

"Where are you from?" Joel raised, his arms crossed. His arms were huge, he definitely has a nice body. "I'm from Oregon." You said softly, placing your slender hands onto your waist. "Damn, that's a long ways out. What made you move all the way here?" "Got a job offer at the hospital." You said with a titter, his accent was thick. "Oh, you a nurse or something?" He questioned, leaning up against his truck. "No, a doctor. Recently gradated from medschool." You explained, glancing over at his brother as he walked into the house. Maybe they lived together.

"Well how bout that? I'm just a contractor." "That's nice." You added, tucking strands of your thin hair behind your ear. "Yeah, yeah, well I'll let you continue settling in. If you need any help with uh larger furniture, me and my brother can stop by, we helped the Adler's when they first moved in." Joel said with a deep voice, pointing his index to the home beside his. "That would be great, thanks, luckily I don't have to deal with the bullshit of larger furniture today, it'll be in either tomorrow or Sunday."

"Alrighty, well, you have yourself a good evening. See you." Joel said with a sly smirk, slowly inching backwards. "You too, Joel." You gave him a slight smile before patting Becker to follow behind you. You made your way across the street, allowing Becker to run around in his new yard. You took a gander back and seen Joel looked back at you before entering his home. When you saw his eyes on you, you felt a deep pit in your stomach. Nothing bad, rather just glee or something. You couldn't pin it.

Around your neck was a lanyard, it had the key to your home, you assumed it was locked. At least you hoped, you don't want any squatters inside. You unlocked the white door and opened it, stepping inside of it. The sunset beamed in through the windows throughout the house. It was still dark though, every single light was switched on. The seller said you'd have to go to the basement to switch them all on. That sounded like a fun time!

One by one, you dragged each box into the home, keeping some on the floor and placing some on the island counter. You didn't plan on unpacking any of it tonight, you were restless and just wanted to lay down for the night, despite it only being 5 PM. The more sleep you get, the easier it'll be tomorrow. You definitely had to get a lot of sleep Sunday considering on Monday, you start your first day. Even though it's just training, you wanna be as awake as possible.

You ambled towards the front door again and away from the kitchen to call Becker in. He'd have to deal with the floor for the night. He is a cuddly dog, he loves big comfy areas but without a bed or a couch, there's no way. "Becker!" You said with a rowdy voice, "C'mon baby." He came running over to you and past your legs, going into the house and treading around like a mad man. "Oh good boy." You chuckled, petting him gently.

You walked back over to the kitchen and grabbed the air mattress, you needed to get it open and blown up. It was sealed to a T, your nails were definitely not enough to get it open. Striding towards the appliances box, you opened it up and searched through it, taking out a knife to slice it open. You are quite clumsy so you were praying you wouldn't stab the mattress on accident. It didn't help that Becker felt the need to push himself up against you, seeking attention & love as if he's starved from it.

"Back off boy." You snorted, pulling the mattress out of it's box. It was all wrinkled up and looked compact. Although it was the size of a Full. You straightened it out on the living room floor, you didn't feel like carrying it all the way up the stairs. It came with a machine to blow it up and you connected it to the black cylinder hole, turning it on and hearing the loud blowing noise it was making. You didn't have any pillows, they were all packed up in that truck but luckily, you had a blanket, it was the one you let Becker use in the backseat when you were driving.

"You stay here mister." You stated out to Becker before beginning to make your way out of the front door to take the blanket out from the car. As you went outside, you noticed a bright light was on in Joel's house, just in one room though. You could also see the shadow of a smaller person's body walking through said room. Did he have a girlfriend? Or did Tommy have one? Maybe it was Tommy's. You convinced yourself of that at least.

After grabbing the blanket, you walked back inside and seen Becker already making himself a spot on the bed, despite it barley being inflated. "You little shit." You grinned, tossing the fuzzy blanket on top of him. Guess you were going to have to share.

The bed was officially ready to be slept on, you haven't been this excited to sleep in a very long time. Back home, you dreaded it. You would stay up all night, doing different stuff. Whether it was studying, painting, reading, working out, etc.. You were always doing something new. With Becker, it's been better. You're an affectionate person and he is as a dog. It may be a rough night, it always is sleeping somewhere new, but with him it may be easier.

Pulling the machine away from the bed, you turned it off and climbed underneath the blanket, feeling immediate warmth. The Texas heat also played a part in that. Back in Oregon, you had a heater beside your bed to help, you definitely didn't need one here. "Alright." You whispered to yourself, Becker lying right beside your feet, his fur was cozy. You were originally going to turn the lights on to your home but honestly, you were scared to go down there all alone, a pitch black basement? No thanks.

Trying to sleep in a new area was hard. You felt homesick. You miss your old room, the house noises, the feeling of it. You lived there your entire life, now you're thousands of miles away. Becker probably felt that way too, especially with how he connected with your father, they bonded. A week from now though, you'd be able to see them. It'd be easier. Another thing you couldn't stop thinking about was that man - Joel.

He seemed so different. He was kind & understanding, and that's just simply based on the short conversation the two of you had together. He was so willing to help you out, no one else was like that. It was a sweet welcoming. He was also very handsome. All the men back home weren't like that. That glimmer in his eyes wasn't something to ignore. It was the way he gazed at you that had you wrapped around the thought of him.

That brother of his was good looking too, definitely not as much, but either way. Were they both contractors? It appeared as though they had just left work so maybe they work together. And who was that smaller person walking throughout his house earlier? Had to be a girlfriend. A daughter? No way, the two of them looked to young to even have children. There was still a chance though, teen pregnancies aren't uncommon. You presume you'll deal with a lot of them as a Doctor.

Your eyes felt more & more heavy. Becker's deep breathing made you weary too. The pitch blackness of the room was helpful ; White sound would've been helpful too. Sleeping in complete silence was torture. All you could really hear was your dog and your own breathing. You were completely spent for the day. And you were ready to hit the hay.

Divider Creds: animatedglittergraphics-n-more

[kennahjune]

Teen Dad AU

PART 5 IS HERE!!!

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Thanks so much for all the support on this series!! Without further ado:

.

September came and went and then Steve was getting ready for Halloween in Hawkins.

Which was fine, except he was busier than ever with work and school.

It definitely helped that he didn’t always have to take Louie with him. Yes, Steve liked keeping an eye on him, but it was nice to just exist for a little— you know? Louie was his pride and joy, but being able to go to school and work without having to step out of the room every 20 minutes to check on him was refreshing.

Gran had to drive the twins back up to their parents’ today though, so Steve was stuck with taking Louie to school with him. Which was fine, he’s pretty sure the entire town knew of Louie’s existence at this point.

It was fine; he’d met up with Nancy and Jonathan (when the hell did that happen?) and went to first period early to chill with Louie. Steve remained fine throughout the day until lunch.

Steve sat in the empty science hall for lunch. He didn’t like going in the cafeteria after his fall out with Tommy and Carol. Little Louie didn’t like it either, it was too loud and crowded.

So Steve took Louie and sat in the hall.

He made sure Baby Louie was fed and well taken care of before placing him back in his car seat and letting him take a nap. But before Steve could even think of eating his own lunch (a bag of chips because he ran out of time) a pair of shoes stopped in front of him.

Steve jolted and looked up to meet the eyes of, once again, Eddie Munson.

“We really need to stop meeting like this, Harrington.” Eddie practically purred. Steve valiantly ignored the swoop of his stomach.

Eddie was stood leisurely, lazily. His hands tucked loosely in the pockets of his black jeans and his vest hanging off his shoulders a bit (shoulders that were hugged surprisingly well by a simple black tee). Steve took a moment to marvel at the expanse of curls— before he was overcome with the urge to /touch/ and snapped his eyes back to Eddie’s and—

Ok. Steve did not swoon. Steve Harrington does not get swooned, he swoons others.

But Eddie Munson’s eyes made him want to swoon.

He didn’t. Instead he said, “Well I’d say so too if it didn’t seem like you liked it, Munson.” Steve quirked his lip.

Eddie smirked down at him and wow wasn’t that a sight. “Can’t blame me for enjoying the view, Your Highness.”

Steve needed to put an end to this before he did something stupid like flirt back. Because that’s what this was, right? Eddie flirting with him, probably to get something out of it like another use of his lighter or answers to their shared history homework.

So, Steve stood. “What can I help you with, dude?”

Eddie seemed, put out? by his question. Like he was hoping for their interaction to go longer. Steve pushed that to the back of his mind and threw it in the box labeled “Wishful Thinking”.

“Right, yeah— was just wondering if you had a lighter on you. Broke mine earlier today.” Eddie rubbed the back of his neck, his leisure aura gone and replaced by something akin to hesitance.

Steve tilted his head and smiled. “Using my lighter once not good enough for you, Munson?”

Eddie blushed— a faint pink on the high of his cheekbones and the tip of his nose, as if he was simply cold. But he grinned sheepishly back at Steve.

“ ‘fraid not, Your Majesty. This humble court jester requires your assistance in his aid once more.”

Steve found himself giggling at the faint British accent Eddie pulled. His antics were fun. Eddie was fun to talk to.

“Let it be known—“ Steve squatted to dig in his bag. “—that your ruler is a gracious one.” He handed Eddie the lighter and mourned the lack of brushing fingers.

Eddie snickered, delighted with Steve playing along. Honestly, Steve pulled the line out of his ass; but it got the desired reaction of gleeful delight.

Eddie didn’t even hesitate to light a cigarette, right there in the school hall. He took a drag. “Our King remains benevolent as such, aiding a poor worker such as I.”

Steve snorted. “Thought you were a court jester?” He raised an eyebrow, his smile coming easier than it had in months.

“Ah but that is where His Majesty is wrong.” Eddie grinned wolfishly and grabbed Steve’s hand. Steve was stunned to silence, feeling the heat rise to his ears. Eddie leaned in close to Steve’s ear;

“I am a man of many faces.”

Eddie left the lighter in the hand he’d grabbed, stepping back and walking casually down the hall and out of the front doors to presumably finish his smoke.

He left Steve in his wake, a lighter in his still-hovering hand and a blush overcoming his face.

.

Steve was still thinking about it at work that night.

He’d been able to drop Louie off with Gran who’d gotten home just before Steve left. So he would be able to focus entirely on his job and earning tips because rent was being a bitch.

But he couldn’t focus entirely on his job because Eddie fucking Munson was occupying his every thought.

Steve’s hand still tingled from when Eddie had grabbed it, his ear still burning from Eddie’s husky voice whispering in it.

Jesus Christ.

“Steve!” Mason shouted at him.

Steve startled, nearly dropping the tray of glasses he’d zoned out carrying. He felt his heart leap into his throat until he steadied them and successfully carried them back to the sinks.

Steve sighed and put his head in his hands, elbows propped on the counter. Everything was getting to be too much; the customers were too loud, the glasses clinking giving him a headache, his apron straps squeezing his waist and hips in all the wrong spots.

He wanted to crawl out of his skin.

Mason came over after washing his hands, placing a still wet hand gently on Steve’s shoulder. The physical contact was usually welcomed, but when these kinds of overloads kicked in he needed his personal bubble.

Mason seemed to understand this immediately, taking his hand off and speaking lowly and gently to Steve.

“Do you need to take a break? I’m sure I can get George out here if you need a minute.”

Steve wanted to say yes. He so badly wanted to take the out and sit in the silence and dark of George’s office and just calm down.

But the Robinsons were coming in and Steve loved interacting with the kids— Julia, Maya, and Geo. They were a rowdy bunch but still some of the sweetest kids Steve had ever met, despite most other 6 year olds being demon-spawn.

So he waved Mason off, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes and standing straight.

“I’ll be ok, Mace. I’ve got the Robinsons up next.” Steve gave him a small smile that he hoped was convincing enough.

Mason studied his face for a long moment, so long Steve felt himself begin to flush.

“Ok,” Mason sighed. “But you take a break the moment you feel like it’s too much, you hear?”

Mason raised an eyebrow and Steve smiled sheepishly. He had a track record of working through headaches and migraines that he really should sit down and rest through.

“Yes, ok. Loud and clear.”

The Robinsons were a delight, as always.

Julia, Maya and Geo locked onto him immediately, shouting a unified chorus of “Stebe!”

And no, that’s not a typo. They genuinely call him ‘Stebe’ since they can’t pronounce their Vs yet. Steve loves it.

“Hey! How are you guys doing today, huh?” Steve greeted.

Maya gave him a gummy smile, having lost her two front teeth at once to a carrot the last time they came in. It was about time, to.

“Yeah! We went outside for recess today and Niall pushed me on the swings!” Maya happily exclaimed, folding her hands over her chest dramatically and falling inter her sister who huffed.

Geo giggled next to Julia, his own missing bottom tooth showing. “Yeahhhh, Maya wants to kiss Niall!” He teased.

Steve snickered at the kids, letting them have their back and forth while turning to Mr. and Mrs. Robinson.

“Hi, Steve.” Ryan, Mr. Robinson, smiled. Next to him, June, Mrs. Robinson, grinned and waved.

“Hello Mr. and Mrs. Robinson!” Steve greeted cheerily back. “What can I get for you guys today?” Even though he already knew the order by heart.

“Just the usual please dear.” Mrs. Robinson answered. There was something about sweet old ladies calling him things like Sugar and Dear that made Steve simply light up.

“Of course, same drinks as well?” He didn’t even bother getting his notepad out, knowing everything word for word. He knew Mason did too.

“Yes that’s right sweetie.” She smiled sweetly. Steve grinned back.

“Oh! Stebe! Mrs. Orlando told us that baby frogs don’t have legs. No legs! Can you beliebe that?” asked Julia loudly. She looked genuinely flabbergasted that baby frogs didn’t have legs.

Steve chuckled. “That’s right, they don’t have legs until later on. Do you know what a baby frog is called?” He humored her.

All three of them shook their heads.

“They’re called tadpoles, and they don’t get legs until they’re about 5-9 weeks old.”

They gasped, Geo’s hands even flying to cover his mouth. Steve laughed to himself and left to inform Mason of the order, leaving the kids to their shenanigans.

The Robinsons came and went, leaving a hefty tip that Steve was most thankful for. But the pounding behind his eyes was worse than ever and he was ready to take a break after cleaning the table.

But of course, the universe had different plans.

“Waiter!” A very shrill voice yelled. Steve ignored her, assuming she was speaking to Gwen who was more than open to helping her out.

But alas.

“Waiter boy! Don’t ignore me, I know you heard me.”

Waiter boy obviously meant Steve, so he stopped and turned to look confusedly at the lady demanding his presence. She was a squat old lady with thin blonde hair and wrinkly skin.

“Sorry, ma’am. I’ve got my hands full—“ he gestured to the tray of glasses and dishes he held. “—but I’m sure Gwen over there can help you out.” Steve smiled apologetically.

The old lady huffed. “No I don’t want that girl. You’re right here so I want you.”

“I understand that, ma’am, but I’m preoccupied—“

“I didn’t ask if you were preoccupied!” She slapped the table with an open palm.

Steve winced, the pounding behind his eyes shooting through his skull at the loudness. He turned heel and simply walked away to the kitchens.

Steve heard the lady squabbling behind him, absolutely bewildered that Steve would simply walk away like that. He payed her no mind and took care of the dishes he held— they really needed to hire a dishwasher.

“What’s the word baby bird?” Mason called to him from the stove. Steve snickered and immediately hissed when pain shot through his skull.

“Just an asshole old lady who doesn’t understand that most people have lives outside of her,” Steve called back.

Mason snickered, plating an order and calling for Gwen. Steve could hear the lady squawking in the diner area, probably giving poor Gwen a hard time.

Allya huffed and glared over the server window.

“That woman needs to shut the fuck up and put a bra on. Gwen looks like she’s about to cry.”

Mason hummed. There was a twitch in his brow and he scrunched his nose. When Gwen failed to come pick up another order Allya groaned and threw her towel at Steve before going out to rescue her.

Steve shared a small smile with Mason, a bit of a knowing look passing between them before the girls came back.

.

Ultimately, George had to take over the floor from Steve because his headache had worked itself into a migraine. He insisted it wasn’t that bad, but nearly toppled over the moment he tired to stand.

But they couldn’t let him drive with how his eyesight was fucking up due to the migraine.

So Mason drove him and Louie home while Allya worked her ass off alone in the kitchen.

The ride was silent for the most part; Louie was asleep and there weren’t many other cars out on the road. Mason seemed to understand that Steve needed silence to function.

Until Mason broke the silence in a whisper: “You have someone to watch Louie while you rest?”

Steve didn’t open his eyes or lift his head from the car window. He thinks Gran should be home by now— it was nearly 8 at night. He hummed his affirmation quietly.

Mason stopped in front of the trailer and took the still-sleeping Louie inside first, giving Steve time to adjust before coming back and helping him.

It was rough, Steve’s head aching in ways it hadn’t in a while and every small movement nearly sending him ass-over-teakettle. But Mason made the call over to Gran while Steve slept.

It would only be a few days later that Steve would have his world turned Upside Down once again.

.

AND THATS A WRAP!!! Next part has Upside Down lore?? You bet your pretty ass it does!! I’m so hyped to finally get into writing the supernatural part of all this shit.

Tag list is closed!! But keep an eye out for part 6!! I’m trying to keep this to a maximum of 15 but wanna keep it to maybe 10 if I can.

[wakandas-vibranium]

91% Function

Pairing: Shuri x Black Fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+ content, dirty talk, praise kink, vibranium strap, lesbian sex

Word count: 2.1k

Translations: Yeyona shit yesondo kakhulu endakha ndayifumana = That’s the sexiest shit I have ever seen, Hayi = No, Sithandwa = My love, Ndiyakudinga = I need you, Ukuya esihogweni kunye nehempe emhlophe = To hell with that short white man, Ewe, sithandwa sam. Ndiyazi = Yes, my love. I know, Molo kwintombazana yam entle = Hello to my beautiful girlfriend

A/N: Please like, comment, and share!

Your calmness slipped with each passing hour. Your girlfriend, Shuri, was supposed to be back from America hours ago. This was nothing new to you. Shuri traveled quite often, especially now that she was Black Panther, but she had been gone for 20 days, 11 hours, and 36 minutes.

You missed her terribly.

And you ached for her deep inside.

You both agreed not to pleasure yourselves until she returned. You were doing well until around day 10 when you discovered new footage of Shuri in Massachusetts, leaping across a tall building in her panther suit alongside Riri as they both took down a rogue CIA member.

Her swift, confident glides made you proud of her, but also frisky. You two have always had great sex, but since she took the heart-shaped herb, the sex shifted into something borderline astronomical. 

You tapped a bead on your kimoyo bracelet, admiring your half naked figure in the full-length mirror beside your bed as you waited for Shuri to answer.

“Molo kwintombazana yam entle.” Shuri answered on the third ring. 

“Where are you?” You blurted, unwilling to let her cuteness distract you. 

“I am about thirty minutes out from the river border.” 

“Thirty minutes?! Shuri, you were supposed to be here two hours ago.” 

“Ewe, sithandwa sam. Ndiyazi,” Shuri sighed, “I got caught up in a conversation with Agent Ross and lost track of time.” 

“Ukuya esihogweni kunye nehempe emhlophe!” You rolled your eyes, flopping dramatically onto the bed.

“Bast, (Y/N)!” Shuri admonished as she failed to contain her snickers. 

“Oh, you think it’s funny?” 

“Yes, you do get more agitated than usual when I am away for more than a week.” 

“Ndiyakudinga.” You whined.

“I need you, too. I apologize for being late. I will make it up to you.” 

“How?”

“With Riri’s help I was able to get the apparatus to 91% function. Figured we could test it when I arrive?” 

You sat up instantly on the bed, beyond impressed. You two had been throwing around ideas for improving the vibranium strap's versatility for a while now.

“Wow, 91%! So, that means there’s a good chance that—“

“—That you will feel what I feel and I will feel what you feel.” 

“Shit.” You cursed, moaning lightly as you rubbed yourself through your yellow lace panties. 

“Mhm.” 

“Bast, I don’t know which position we should try first.” You breathed, sliding your panties to the side for direct access.

“Well, hands and knees do seem to be your personal favorite.” She added, chuckling lightly. 

You spread your legs a little more before dipping a finger inside your slick hole. You could not wait any longer. Three weeks was your limit. You were a touch starved mess.

“Do not start without me, sithandwa.” 

“What? I’m not.” You lied.

“I can hear your finger sliding in and out of you, Y/N.” 

Damn, you forgot how much stronger her hearing was now. Oh, well. 

“You hear how wet I am for you?”

“Yes, I hear it,” Shuri purred, rubbing at her thigh to distract from the pulsation under her  pants, “I cannot wait to taste it.”

The sultry inflection of her voice was enough to drive you to slide a second finger in, moaning louder this time. “I can’t wait to feel you inside me.” 

Shuri gasped, “I know you did not just add another fing—“ 

“—Mmm, it feels so good.” You cut her off, whimpering as you felt the edge nearing.

“Take your fingers out, Y/N. Now.” 

“Hayi.” You disobeyed. 

“No?” The sheer shock in Shuri’s voice would have made you laugh if circumstances were different. She sounded scandalized. 

“I’m about to cum, Shuri.” 

“Do you remember what happened the last time you were being a disobedient brat?” 

You did remember which is why you angled your two fingers and thrusted them faster inside you. Shuri had you calling on every god in existence that night. The memory alone had you throbbing.

“You better answer me, Y/N.” 

Your climax was approaching and little did Shuri know, she was talking you up and right through it. 

“Y/N.” Shuri repeated, growling into her kimoyo beads and that sent you over the edge. 

You came as hard and as loud as you wanted. Consequences be damned. You had been holding that in for three long ass weeks. The orgasm was nice, but without your girlfriend you were always left ravenous. Shuri was silent for a beat, listening to your ragged breaths and sinful moans. You shivered as you pulled your fingers out and brought them up to your mouth to lick them clean. 

“Prepare to take every inch I give you.” Shuri hissed. You could hear her breaths become harsher. Oooh, she was mad. Good. 

The last thing you heard was Shuri swearing and one of the Dora Milaje responding to Shuri's question about their whereabouts. 

“We will be home in seven mi—“

The combination of the abrupt silence and your girlfriend's last words sent a sweet chill down your spine. The thought of your impending punishment made you wetter. Even though, the icy tone of Shuri's warning had you swallowing the nervous lump in your throat. You knew she meant business. 

You sobbed a moan while hot tears started to pool in your eyes as you were denied yet another orgasm. Shuri pulled out of you just as you were about to bust. She left you lying there on your back as she moved to sit on the edge of the bed. 

She looked back at you, enjoying the drenched, sensitive mess spread out before her. Looking into her eyes, you could not suppress the ache and frustration you felt. For the fourth time, she has pushed you to the precipice, only to yank you back at the last second. You were going to wither away if you didn’t come soon. 

“Don’t look at me like that. You brought this on yourself.” She shrugged, looking down at the strap attached to her. She stroked it loosely as it was slick with your wetness. 

“Please let me cum.” You begged as you sat up on your knees. 

“Come to me.” Shuri called over her shoulder.

You crawled to the edge of the bed, stopping beside her. She turned her face toward you, grinning as she saw the desperation in your eyes. 

“Ride me until you cum.” She gestured for you to straddle her lap and you obeyed, moving with an eager quickness.

You both moaned softly as you eased your pussy down the length of the strap. The model was only at 91% and it was revealing to you both various levels of pleasure you thought were impossible to achieve.

You began to bounce slowly, but quickly found your pacing, up and down, swirl and grind. You lowered your gaze to Shuri, silently pleading with her to touch you. With a playful glint in her eyes, she looked up at you. 

“Baby, please touch me.” You huffed, bouncing harder. 

Usually when you were riding your girlfriend she would grip your waist to help you move up and down, suck your nipples, or smack your ass. SOMETHING! She wasn’t doing anything. She was leaned back, both palms spread against the bed as she watched you fuck yourself onto her. It drove you crazy when she didn’t touch you and she fucking knew it. 

“Obviously you no longer need my help to get you there.” 

“But I do need you, baby. Please help me cum.” 

“Tough.” Shuri said, not moving an inch. 

You pinched her shoulder in frustration and she just laughed at you, unfazed. 

Fine. If she wanted to play like that then so be it. 

You shoved two of your fingers in your mouth and sucked on them before bringing them to massage your clit. Your eyes fluttered closed as you threw your head back in pleasure and moaned loudly.

“Fuck, Shuri. You feel so good inside of me.” 

You knew she loved when you were vocal about how she made you feel during sex and would eventually touch you. 

“No one could ever fuck me like you do,” you continued, “I love the way you fuck me.” 

The cocky grin she was sporting faltered as she let out a deep moan, soon after she rolled her hips up to meet your vigorous bounces. 

A climax tore through your stomach as soon as Shuri bent forward to capture your rigid nipple in her warm mouth, and you threw your head back and whimpered.

You were only given a few spare moments to catch your breath before Shuri picked you up and pounded into you against the wall. 

Sheer unadulterated euphoria flowed through you. You were so sex dazed that you couldn't recall how many times you came in the last thirty minutes, but Shuri was still not through with you. Sweat was the only barrier between the two of you. Your passion for her only deepened with each carnal kiss and perfectly calculated thrust.

You were now on your hands and knees, chestnut thighs shaking like a cheap, synthetic wig on a windy night. The noises of pleasure that escaped your lips were so loud and obscene you took it upon yourself to shove your face into an orange satin pillow. You knew your throat was going to be sore and your voice would be gone come tomorrow. Still, you didn’t care. Shuri was fucking you too damn good for you to be silent.

“Thank me while I fuck you.” Shuri grunted as her hand came down, smacking your plump ass, making the flesh jiggle from the ample force.  

“Aaah! Th—thank you! Thank you!” You whimpered as you rocked back onto her.

With her free hand, Shuri gripped your throat and pulled you up, bringing your sweaty back to rest against her bare chest. She slowed her thrusts and ground into you slowly as she trailed delicate kisses across your cheek and down the neck to your shoulder.

“You always take me so well, Y/N.” 

You could barely form a word so you just nodded. She knew all too well what her praises did to you. 

“If only you listened as well as you took me.”

Shuri kissed your ear and nibbled on your earlobe before whispering, “Are you going to be good from now on and listen?” 

“Yes.” You vowed, gasping as Shuri began to rub tight circles around your clit. 

“Yes, what?” The deepness of her lust filled voice never failed to send you into a frenzy.

“Yes, Panther. I promise.” You groaned. 

“That’s what I like to hear.” She panted. 

“Shuri, please,” you pleaded as she rubbed your clit even faster, “I can’t cum again.” 

“Mmm, I think you can give me one more. Shall we try the highest pulsation?” Shuri pressed on the side of the strap twice, bringing it to level five. You cried out in pleasure, not only because the ability to feel what Shuri was feeling intensified, but also because she brushed against your g-spot over and over. 

Shuri chuckled as she felt your walls clench around her, “Go on,” she encouraged as you squirmed, “Be a good girl and cum one last time for me.” The vibrations from her next stroke shot throughout your entire body. Almost like receiving a slight magnetic jolt.

You let out an ear piercing scream that was definitely heard throughout the palace. You have never experienced an orgasm like this before. You came everywhere. All over your thighs, Shuri’s thighs and the bed. You made a mess. The intensity of your orgasm took Shuri by surprise as well, causing her rhythm to falter once she realized that you were squirting. 

“Yeyona shit yesondo kakhulu endakha ndayifumana.” Shuri praised as she shoved you down into the mattress with one hand while the other tightened on your waist. Her euphonious moans grew louder as she drove into you wildly, chasing her own orgasm. 

Shuri came with a cry, her thighs shook against the backs of yours. You were still trembling as your knees gave out and you sagged against the bed. She pulled out of you and flopped down next to you. 

You both breathed shakily, warm bodies completely spent. You mustered all the strength you had left to turn onto your side so you could face her. Of course, she was already on her side, smirking at you. 

“So,” Shuri cleared her throat as she scooched closer to you, resting her hand on your waist, “how are you feeling?” You wanted to roll your eyes at the smugness in her voice but that simple action required energy you didn’t have at the moment. 

“If you’re ever walking outside and hear a rustling in the bushes, don't worry about it. It’s just me.” You enlightened her as your cunning amber eyes peered into her haughty walnut pupils. 

Shuri’s eyes crinkled as she bit her bottom lip to stifle a laugh, shaking her head fondly at you. She thought she was used to your post sex outbursts by now, but every now and then you stumped her.

[feralmoonlight]

Doordash AU Lore

Condensed Soup Version for your reading pleasure~ This was flailed over discord last night in a stream of consciousness into the delirium of sleep and goes from legible and readable to 'what are you typing??' levels of writing. Spellcheck was... not used a lot. Enjoy!

Sun survived the Fazbear Fire ending but was junked and picked up by random dude that tinkered enough to get him fixed to the point he could finish fixing himself. Sun and a very feral moon were... 'grateful' for being saved, but dude just wanted to use them as a side hustle for income basically and guilt trips them into working to 'pay him back for saving them and the electricity it takes to keep them charged'

Hence, doordash. Getting sun to be able to drive was easy enough, and dude just linked his own bank with the account so any pay out goes straight to him. The boys basically get pennies for their work because they don't really have a full sense of money or the outside world, but Sun 'likes' getting to explore while delivering and while they'd love to work with kids, well... Dude won't let them go until they pay him back. So they technically are under the assumption he owns them like fazbear did. A little pushback but 'if it weren't for him, they'd still be in the scrap yard'. And it's way better than being locked away in solitude again.

SO, one day they do a deliver for Reader, quiet anxious shut-in artist hermit type that thrives online but is basically terrified of the world beyond their home. Very relatable cough

BUT YN is like. Holy fuck that's a robot???

And Sun is like HELLO! Here's your food! Wanna chat? What do you do? How was your day?

To which anxiety YN blurts out they're an artist and Arts and Crafts King SUN is like YOU LIKE ART? I LIKE ART? and corners them for about 15-20 minutes talking their ear off while they're basically frozen because too awkward to tell him to leave, and he's not being WEIRD just REALLY TALKATIvE but it seems to be making him happy??

And then he gets another delivery and has to go anyway.

WhICH... OK cool that was weird but something to remember and forget about later.

Until a few weeks later when they order from a similar area restaurant and get Sunny as their delivery dude again, recognizing it immediately as him and actually having a more 2 way convo this time?

And it starts off slow, little short convos between drop offs and Sun wants to stay and talk more but it gets waved off at first. BUT YN keeps trying to work the system and get him back as a delivery dude for short chats.

Friendship builds and they start working out how to get the delivery as the last of his shift time so he can talk longer and longer, but he always leaves before the sun goes down too far, because Moon worries

Which eventually something happens and Sun knows he's not gonna be able to make it back home before dark, so he VERY anxiously asks if he can stay the night and makes up a thing about not functioning well in the dark. Sunshine and all that. 

SO he gets to stay and they have a longer chill evening and he watches YN work on some commissions, and then they watch a non-fazbear movie and just chill. Which he's ABSOLUTELY BLOW AWAY by a non-fazbear movie

and YN wants to introduce him to different shows and stuff, so these little sleepovers (lights on) turn into a more regular almost weekly thing.

But eventually the fun time gets caught and Dude gives Sun a call about where the fuck is he with the car? Where has he been? And sun apologizes and has to leave, but it raises questions about who that was.

WHich takes us to catalyst point 1, of 'man, that guys a dick. you don't take that much energy to charge -motions to electric bill that only budged a couple dozen dollars' and learning he takes all sun's earnings.

Now, you might be wondering... WHere's MOON in all this? How does MOON feel?

Well, Moon doesn't trust anyone at this point. Between fazbear, the vanny incidents, and this fucker, he is VERY skeptical there's not some ulterior motive, and he wants to test it. But Sun is getting very attached to YN

And he's already made moon lowkey promise to behave in case the lights go out from the first night, cause they haven't done anything bad yet. But he's still IFFY.

BUT LOW AND BEHOLD, the fabled power outage arrives, and YN doesn't know MOON is a thing.

It's a short one, and Moon POORLY tries to pretend to be Sun in the dark, but he's very... itching to fuck with YN. WANTS to harass them so bad, but... he said he'd behave.

But the lights come on, and Sun is a little panicked, but YN brushes it off like he was scared of the dark? Though he didn't sound scared a moment ago? Maybe it was something else that spooked him?

BUT things continue and the more YN hears about dude, the more they want to beat his ass(they wont, they're not bold like that) and get Sun away from him... which... he might have a gps on the phone and car that they use, but not on Sun. All he'd have to do is like... not go back? and he'd be free

which alarm bells MOON with the though YN just wants to use them the same way dude did to get more money cause at this point it's obvious to them both that the only things YN really spends their extra money on is food delivery and thats about it. they don't buy 'stuff' but they enjoy eating good food from different places, and they've been ordering a lot more lately as an excuse to see Sun.

SO moon convinces Sun to let him 'test them' and their resolve

Let him out, let him have some fun. And hoo boy. He definitely makes himself a threat, but he did still promise not to HURT hurt them.

BUT he has to test limits. Push buttons. He doesn’t really want to hurt YN cause they have genuinely been nice and he wants to think they’re being sincere in their attempt to help them, but there’s always that grain of salt. They thought the other human was trying to help them but they were just getting used for free income. What’s to say this 'starving artist’ won’t do the same? So he does the chase song and dance, the threats, minor injuries to see if it’d be enough to scare YN into showing true colors…  And they ARE scared, but they also know Sun at this point. Even if Moon is gonna be shitty, and they say as much, Sun is their friend, and they aren’t gonna let him go back. Even if it means putting up with Moon.

WHICH HURTS, but in a way that warms his heart sorta. Like.. OK OW? But also deserved. He’s not done poking the bear, though, but again, bit by bit he goes from full gremlin mode to spikey roommate to soft nap lord. With gremlin habits still. He wouldn’t be moon if he wasn’t a pest sometimes.

BUT like, OK. SO MOON DOES HIS MOON THING

and he's surprised YN has so much... pushback to not let him get to them, but also seems to have this genuine urge to help Sun just to help him?

Which means now Moon has to repair the relationship, but Sun is also excited that Moon is going to TRY to be nice now, not just because he asked him to, but because... If they ARE gonna be trying to live with them, as friends, that first impression needs to get undone

Which he points out also it's NOT their first meeting, but... YN doesn't pick that up at first

SO we have the 'become friends with Moon' arc starting as well as the actually stealing Sun... which is easy enough. They drive back to dudes house with YN and just... leave the phone in the car, and take the bus back home.

which leaves YN in a lowkey panic because agoraphobia

BUT they'd do it for their friend. The injustice of what happened is stronger than their own fears, and getting back home results in a nice little cuddle session because yes. Which also would end up in them falling asleep and sun shifting over to Moon and moon basically having a 'I WILL NOT ADORE THEM oh fuck' moment too

WHICH brings us to the midway point... Sort of.

Because now YN is taking care of them, or rather, giving them somewhere to live, rent free, and eating the cost of their electricity upkeep which is... not horrible but more than expected... so they're now having to go grocery shopping regularly (ew) and essentially cutting their food budget in more than half to make that difference, cause taking on new commissions is already stretching their work load.

There's a small talk of why YN doesn't have a different job, and there's some talk of... not trauma, but just... really bad experiences? They wouldn't call it trauma, but they DO NOT want to have to get a 'normal job' again. Which is hard for them to understand from an AI perspective, having job stuff programmed into them with the daycare and security things

BUT then YN talks about how if doordash felt 'right'... and it did not. it was 'ok' but it wasn't what they were made for

But they're also realizing that they ARE sort of... taking up a decent amount of what was YN's 'spare money'. which was NOT safety net worthy but it was enough for them to be comfy

SO they start feeling guilty. Doing little tasks around the house, but it's not enough, TO THEM, to make up for the new burden they're putting on this FRIEND that CARES about them.

SO... They want to get a job.

But how

Their options are VERY limited, and probably gonna have to be under the table

They don't need to make a LOT, but YN basically tells them they will NOT do doordash shit again.

There's the possibility of doing private babysitting? But getting parents to agree is... weird...

They do the random attempt of going to a few parks and letting sun do his thing with the kids, but there's a mixed response of 'what the fuck, a robot?' and 'ok who's the freak that brought a bot to a playground? is this some kind of sick joke?'

But there are a few parents that don't immediately freak out.

YN talks to some of them and explains that he used to work with kids until their daycare burned down and he was thrown out, a bit of a twist on the official happenings but believable enough.

And one parent takes the bait,  agreeing it'd be nice to have someone watch the kids after school for a bit before they got off work some days, so they'd try it out. For a very cheap fee, but still.

It's a step in the right direction, and their kids area already on board with having Sun as a temporary caretaker. YN is gonna be with them, but they can take their art shit wherever so Sun handles this kids and YN just babysits the babysitter XD

They let sun and moon keep all the money they make and only take what's offered from them, and insist they should hold on to some of it for anything they  might need for future repairs. There's a lowkey friend argument but agreements are made

They gather a few families that are on board with their services, and eventually things even out. But one parent mentions the daycare their tiny child goes to is actually pretty short staffed. They can't afford to hire on anyone else at a normal pay rate, but if they treat it like 'renting a piece of machinery' a phrase YN is pissy about, then they could probably pay a similar rate to the babysitting gigs but as a 5 days a week guaranteed time thing?

Which there's a back and forth on how that might be risky, but the fucking starry eyed glee from Sun, and moon actually, about getting to work with a daycare again is something they can't fight against. And so the approach is made.

And accepted

As a trial run, at first, but things go well and they become a welcome part of this little daycare, and can handle the tasks of two or three employees easily. It's far less chaotic that the sugarhigh crazed children of Fazbears, and it's the happiest they've been in a long time

wait.

what's that?

everyone is

happy?

>w>

Heheh

GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKERS

fazbear still owns them

Well

Sort of

Fazbear still owns 'Sun and Moon' as trademarked entities.

Dude still owns them legally as salvaged scrap.

And Moms just LOVE posting weird shit on facebook.

Knock KNock we're here for your robot

Time to RUN from THE MANZ

Thankfully still no tracker, and THANKFULLY Fazbear isn't actually as invested as the news would lead people to believe? But that dude? oh that dude is PISSED as FUCK

He ends up being the more unhinged danger time for YN, because it was DEFINITELY YNs FAULT 'their robot went rogue'

Fazbear's is lowkey keeping tabs, but after that plex burned down they'd already gotten the insurance from the BS that happened, and technically getting such a... mmm 'tampered with' AI would be a pain in the ass to recode

They're lowkey interested in him as spare parts, but the news media covering this from the dudes side, and then eventually uncovering the harrowing rescue and plight of the 'mistreated robot that just wants to take care of kids' has the story quickly turning on it's head.

Fazbear's watching all this too, and they're... intrigued that Sun and Moon still have such a strong drive to care after the incident... they're swapping to wanting to study this...

They weren't the only bot that 'survived', but they're the only one that made it to the 'outside'

BUT BUT BUT

they study

they watch this drama unfolding with the curiosity of a cat watching a mouse in a maze

they COULD pounce, but... they could also learn from this. they see money in them hills

ANd the media is EATING this shit up

but it does come down to it that Dude finds YN and Sun/Moon (time undetermined at the moment) and they're... separated enough that he CAN rough up YN a bit. Not enough, but enough that it sends YN off running and Dude books it cause he doesn't want the police involved after making a BIG no no of assault

he knows he fucked up, but YN is now hella shaken and Sun/Moon shows up shortly after. MOON is very livid and wants to go hunt this dude down like a dog. Sun ALSO is on board but... that would not do any of them any good, so it's comfort the reader time.

Little bit of wound tending, mostly bruises and a fucked up wrist.

yep.

That one. They aren't drawing for a while because fuck you thats why

But again, the place YN went to for safety is on the phone with police and the media hears about this dude attacking them, and HOO BOY... BUT yn doesn't press charges because...

MOSTLY they dont wanna deal with court shit?

BUT his own actions are enough to kind of scare him off from intervening again

he knows he fucked up, and the info is ON the NEWS now, and he's waiting for the arrest warrant to get served but it never does.

This is now a bigger issue and not worth the hassle

he's got a nice fucking chunk of change though from them doing door dash for like 10 hours a day for.... months?

just sitting in his bank

which mF is gonna have to pay taxes on lmao

bitch doesn't know it yet cause he didn't think that far ahead. he's an asshole. a clever one, but not a smart one.

SO it's into the wind down of wondering when Fazbear is gonna try to come swoop in and steal Sun/Moon back from YN. or rather, back from their freedom. And it's NOT long after that they do get a knock on the door from a fazbear rep...

This is about where the end gets hazy though. Cause I don't wanna do the whole convo, but it boils down to, they're very intrigued that 'the ai,  Sun, and Moon, have adjusted so well to life outside of the plex.'  And they want to use that. The knowledge that they can expand outside of just 'entertainment'.

This isn't the 'birth of the ai revolution' of sorts where robots are everywhere... they already are somewhat, but very... simple versions. More advanced things like the animatronics are few and far between, and highly monitored in their selected environments (the pizzaplex). But letting the more sentient ones adapt to working at things like stand alone daycares, theme parks, maybe as traveling shows that go on tour, or other possible branch locations with different uses is very interesting to the higher ups

They want to monitor Sun and Moon, how they conduct themselves, and how people respond to them 'out in the wild', so to speak.

"This new idea is... groundbreaking. And we just want to observe... For now."

The long side eye is LONG, but... LEGALLY they could snatch the boys up without a second thought.

So they take the offer.

Fazbear is gonna offer no help, aside from possibly medical costs because they want to build a 'friendly face for the enterprize' as well as feel slightly responsible for YN getting hurt by not stepping in sooner and making their presence known to The Dude TM that he was out of his realm from the start.

There's some wariness from all parties, but...

It seems things will work out

uwu

The end.... ?

Possibly the end

it has room for expanding into the actual watching portion but that's what I have so far and is a POSSIBLE stopping point

[atinystraynstay]

For You, I'd Do Anything - Yang Jeongin

Synopsis: The holidays can be a tough time for anyone. Growing up, it was your favorite time of year. As an adult though, it was what you dreaded the most. Jeongin couldn't stand by to see his partner upset over the holidays, so he decided to take matters into his own hands, to show you that the holidays with him could be fun.

Pairing: Idol! Yang Jeongin x reader

Genre: fluff, established relationship

Word Count: 2.3k

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Growing up, you used to love the winter holidays. You were the type of person that loved decorating for Christmas the day after Halloween. You looked forward to all the Christmas specials and movies that would be broadcasted on TV. Every time you were driving in your car from November 1st until December 26th, you had Christmas music playing. It was just the time of year that wrapped you up with warmth and joy.

Now, being in yours 20s, things have shifted. You no longer looked forward to decorating, always feeling the need to do it out of an obligation rather than a joy. You didn't really care for what was showing on TV, maybe watching one movie for the whole season if there was nothing else on. And don't even get started on the music. You couldn't take listening to the old songs sung by Bing Crosby or Dean Martin.

As friends move away and family spreads out, you find yourself getting lonelier each year. This year was the worst of it all. You couldn't afford a plan home to visit your family, so you had to stick it out at home. Your family wasn't in a position where they could fly out to you either, seeing as both of your parents worked and your siblings were only in college.

Part of you was hoping this year might be a bit different. You and Jeongin had gotten together in February of this year, shortly after your birthday. You were childhood friends with Seungmin who actually set you two up. Since then, you've been joined at the hip.

You were two lonely souls around Valentine’s Day. Seungmin couldn’t stand the sight of his younger brother feeling unwanted. To him, Jeongin was his partner in crime. He deserved the best the world had to offer. He was tired of you complaining about bad first dates and venting to him about your love life. Seungmin thought it would be a pretty good match. It would at least keep you quiet for a little bit while helping Jeongin out.

Jeongin was the perfect guy for you. He was a good listener and someone you felt safe around. You didn’t feel the need to put up a false persona to win him over. He never judged you either for your likes and interests, unlike your other exes. If something made you happy, he was all in support of it.

And Jeongin was in love with you. This was not a two-sided love. You were witty, intelligent, compassionate - a golden person. It loved that you got along well with his members. You were able to have deep insightful conversations with Chris and Han. You could be just as loud as Lee Know and Changbin. You appreciated the arts which made talking to Hyunjin easy. Felix and you often baked together. And then there was you and Seungmin who acted like brother and sister, being able to support one another but then be at each other’s neck the next minute. He was convinced bickering was Seungmin’s love language.

When you were with Jeongin, you knew how to make him smile and let him be silly. You were also there to comfort him if he had a bad day at the recording studio or dance practice. You offered a safe haven where he didn’t have to be the well-rounded maknae. Jeongin had a tendency to put too much pressure on himself to be perfect, to land every dance movement or not. You helped remind him that he was good enough, to push through the bad moments to keep chasing his dream. He wasn't just an idol to you. In your mind, he was like any regular 20-something-year-old who was trying their best. He was able to just be Yang Jeongin.

He wanted to give you the world. You deserved that. You radiated so much positive energy that it affected everyone around you. He owed Seungmin his life for introducing you two.

However, Jeongin noticed a shift in you. He remembers one of the first things Seungmin told, or more so warned, is that you were the type of person who had to start decorating for the holidays right after Halloween. Jeongin still didn't know why Seungmin felt the need to warn him about that fact, as if that was meant to scare him off. If anything, your enthusiasm around the holidays also got him excited for seasons changing.

It was easy to get lost in what's going on when you're following back-to-back schedules. It just felt like the holidays always crept up on him. The only thing that seemed to remind him what time of year it was is when they have a Christmas inspired stage.

Yet, when Jeongin suggested making hot chocolate and watching Christmas movies, you immediately said no. He figured maybe you were too tired from work. Jeongin settled for your answer, at least figuring you’ll watch them later in the season.

When you rejected going to the winter carnival in the city, he was a bit concerned. It was last Saturday when he asked. He figured now was a great time as any to get into the holiday season. You both had the day off from work, so he saw it as not only a way to enjoy each other's company and make new memories but also to relax from work. You preferred to stay inside though.

Jeongin even thought you could try setting up a Christmas tree in the dorms as a way to get you and the members into the holiday season. While he wasn't sure where to get a Christmas tree in South Korea, he knew how much you enjoyed spending time with the members. He always thought you were part of the family that has been created since they were training together at JYP. Yet, you still said no.

The boys were currently at dance practice. While Lee Know stood up from with Hyunjin, Changbin, and Han to work through the choreography for 'MEGAVERSE,' Jeongin was sitting on the couch with his hands holding up his chin.

He was trying his best to think of what could be troubling you, what could be on your mind. He was under the assumption that the two of you shared everything, from material items to personal secrets. To an extent, Jeongin was still trying to get to know you, sure. But he liked to believe as your boyfriend, he could pick up when things were off with you. What weren't you telling him?

Seungmin seemed to notice how distant his young friend was looking. Since it wasn't his time to dance, he made his way across the room to Jeongin. The maknae didn't flinch much once Seungmin plopped himself onto the couch, which was all an effort to snap Jeongin out of his daze. When that didn't work, Seungmin knew he had his work cut out for him. "Okay, spill. What's going on?"

Jeongin sighed before looking at his older friend. "It's y/n."

"What? What are you talking about? You're not going to break up with them, are you?"

Wow, for someone who pokes fun at y/n, Seungmin was very protective of you. It just further emphasized you and Seungmin's relationship - best friends who acted more like siblings.

To calm Seungmin down, he shook his head before looking over at him. "No, not at all. They are my everything," Jeongin sighed. "I just feel like I'm not giving them enough."

Seungmin looked at his friends to continue, confused as well. Whenever Seungmin talked to you about your relationship with Jeongin, you were on cloud nine. You could talk for hours about how wonderful of a partner Jeongin his, your favorite qualities of him. It made Seungmin pleased to see you so happy.

"They have just been acting so distant lately. Like, I feel like I have pushed them away. I don't get it." "I'm glad you said something," Seungmin sighed.

Jeongin immediately picked his head up, looking over at his friend. His eyes were wide, like a deer caught in headlights.

"What do you mean? Do you know something? Did I do something?" "Jeongin, if you did something, y/n will make it known. I mean, I would know first given that I'm the best friend and you're only the boyfriend," Seungmin teased. "But you haven't done anything wrong. I just feel like there is something wrong with y/n. Has she mentioned when’s flying home?”

It was then both of the men realized what was wrong. Usually, you were the type to have your holiday plans situated a month in advance. You also would plan a small holiday party with all your friends before everyone leaves for home. Your family and friends meant the world to you. However, this year, it was radio silent.

Jeongin then got a bright idea. He turned towards Seungmin who playfully backed up, a bit taken back from the eagerness of the maknae but also pleased that your boyfriend was ready to set up and make things right."

"So here's the plan."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Where are we going, Jeongin?" You laughed. He had blindfolded your eyes when you got in the car. He was walking backwards with Han holding open the door for him. Jeongin squeezed both of your hands reassuringly, walking backwards to guide you into a room.

"Now if I told you, it would ruin the surprise." "I hate surprises, but you're lucky you're cute," you muttered.

It took everything in Seungmin and Changbin, especially, to not let out a laugh. They couldn't give away the surprise. Not when they saw how excited Jeongin was to surprise you and make you feel better. Even before you and their beloved maknae started dating, they knew how much you meant to Seungmin. They all looked at you like a little sister. Their love for you has honestly intensified since the love between you and Jeongin grew.

"And I'm lucky because I have you," Jeongin responded.

This time Seungmin wanted to gag.

Jeongin glanced behind him to see all the boys in their places. Each of the boys gave them a thumbs up from their positions in the space, with Lee Know by the lights switch.

When he was satisfied, he slowly stepped behind you. He leaned around to kiss your cheek gently as his hands reached back to undo the knot that held the blindfold close to your eyes. You truly were one that hated surprises. If the blindfold was even the slightest bit loose, you would be trying to peek.

"Look, I know if you hate this, but I just want to see my girl smile again," Jeongin stated.

The blindfold was loosened from around your eyes, revealing that you were in the infamous red-painted JYP dance practice room. . It didn't look like the practice room.

There were Christmas lights strung around the mirrors. The lights were emphasized once Lee Know turned off the practice room's lights. A large projection screen was set up, thanks to Chan's assistance, opposite of the black couches. It was connected to a laptop with every major streaming service available. There were two extra beanbag chairs for those that preferred to sit on the floor. In the corner of the room, there was a large Christmas tree that was decorated. You could tell that was Hyunjin's assigned task. If you turned slightly too, you noticed there was a table full of baked goods that made the whole room smell like cinnamon and sugar. Definitely Felix's doing. You noticed there were 9 cups with candy canes sticking out of it. Maybe they got Changbin to do that one?

Regardless of who was assigned to each task, you knew there was only one person responsible - Jeongin. You turned towards him with tears in your eyes, but not the sad ones. The smile on your face gave away your joy.

"You did all of this for me?" "Anything for you," he affirmed.

You turned fully towards Jeongin before you wrapped you arms around him. You buried your face into his shoulder, both as a place to soak in your tears and your favorite spot to nuzzle up to him. He matched the strength of your hold, holding you close to him. He kissed the top of your hand, hand caressing your back affectionately. The rest of the members watched with fondness at the love between the two of you. Seungmin being the happiest of them all.

"You're apart of our family, y/n. I know it isn't the same as being with your family, but you can always depend on us," Jeongin whispered. "I love you so much."

You pulled your head gently back to look up at Jeongin. He smiled gently seeing your face. Keeping one arm around you, he used his free hand to wipe away your tears. "I'm in love with you too, baby," you whispered. You then looked at the guys surrounding the two of you. You could have sworn that they were crying too, but they wouldn't confess with the lights being dim. "And I love you guys too."

Shortly after, the nine of you gathered on the couches with Seungmin and Lee Know opting for the beanbag chairs. Changbin was getting hot chocolate together for the group while you cuddled up to your boyfriend. Most of them were paying attention to Elf playing on the projector. Jeongin held you close, as if he was trying to squeeze out any remaining sadness that might still be in your body.

But truth be told, you weren't sad anymore. If anything, you were over the moon that not only you have the best partner anyone could ask for, but that he opened his world to you.

To be with your family for Christmas was all you asked for, and it was the best present you could have received.