#its okay hes gonna be resurrected soon

[vanillanjin]

[scarlettrue]

Alright, fuck it, Shazam pitch (it’ll be in multiple parts because different stuff goes into it like continuity and so on). So, here’s

PART 1 OF THE SHAZAM ANIMATED SERIES PITCH

(Also sorry for the use of the Zach Levi gifs, I promise he’ll have nothing to do with this)

Okay, so first of all, we gotta deal with

PREVIOUS DCEU CONTINUITY AND THE DCU

So, I’m sure many people are wondering how this will work, we don’t know exactly how it’ll work with what’s confirmed to be brought back (I.e. Blue Beetle, Peacemaker, Amanda Waller, etc.) but I assume some aspects from DCEU canon will be kept, while others will be left to die, so this post, we‘ll discuss what elements, character and plot from the first two movie (and maybe Black Adam idk) that we’ll be keeping.

Plot elements:

So, plot elements, what elements from the plot and characters are we gonna keep?

First of all, I’m keeping most of the events of both films, however, there will be some changes from the films, mainly Superman and Wonder Woman, and Fury of the Gods mid-credits scene.

The versions of Superman and Wonder Woman will obviously be different because they already are/will be recast for the new universe. This will change background stuff like the newspapers related to Superman Freddy kept in the first film, including no MoS like event being canon (THANK FUCKING GOD ITS NOT GONNA BE CANON). Same with Wonder Woman, she’ll be played by a new actress who’ll be played by a new actresses in the series (GOOD RIDDANCE ZIONIST AND TERRIBLE ACTRESSES GAL GADOT), though Fury of the Gods ending will be different, we’ll get to it in a minute.

As for Fury of the Gods mid-credit scene, it doesn’t make sense. Waller being connected to the Justice Society of America (JSA) has never made sense no matter how you look at it, and Economos and Harcourt recruiting Billy for the JSA is ass backwards. Waller being connected to the JSA is from Black Adam and can be ignored. The mid-credits scene with Economos and Harcourt is going to also be massively redone, and will include JSA members as originally intended (Economos and Harcourt are the ones to recruit Billy in the mid-credits scene because of the production of Black Adam wanting nothing to do with Shazam, as well as the fact that both Shazam films, The Suicide Squad, and Peacemaker share the same producer, who is also the co-ceo of DC). We’ll discuss the JSA members who will recruit Billy soon ish lol.

As for what I’m keeping, it’s mostly everything else. From Billy being abandoned by his mother, to going from foster home to foster home trying to find her, getting adopted by the Vasquez family, getting his powers from the Wizard, being a little shit with the powers and getting into a fight with his brother, fighting Sivana, confronting his mom, saving his new family, giving them superpowers, defeating Sivana, being shitty superheroes, Freddy meeting a goddess, the city getting domed off, fighting the gods, the family and goddess Anthea losing their powers, Billy finishing the fight, Billy dying and getting resurrected (but not by Wonder Woman, gasp), and getting recruited to the JSA (by members of the JSA.

It’s a lot, but I think the films work for the most part, and actually work to set up Shazam as a powerful guy who can make a difference on multiple scales, but because of his lack of branding and other heroes in the universe, he’s still a nobody hero when compared to Batman, Superman, or Wonder Woman, and status wise, is closer to heroes like Booster Gold, Blue Beetle, Guy Gardner, and so on (which is where he was when Justice League International was released, which is what the DCU seems to be based off of).

Also, no, for this pitch you won’t have to have watched Shazam 1 or 2 to understand this, as it’ll be recapped in the beginning in a similar manner to Across the Spider-Verse, so you’d be able to just jump into the series with no prior knowledge, which is what the DCU is already aiming for with who is returning for it (ie John Cena Peacemaker and Xolo Maridueña Blue Beetle). Now that that’s worked out, let’s discuss-

RETURNING AND NON-RETURNING CAST

Alright, now with the casting. I want to bring most of the cast from the films back, along with the JSS from Black Adam because I think they were all well cast and deserve second chances in films that don’t involve the Rock or behind the scenes bull shittery caused by the Rock.

HOWEVER, I would not bring Zachery Levi back as the adult counterpart Shazam for multiple reasons, the big one being his very recent decent into madness and recent political endorsements(which are very orange). However, his portrayal was already questioned by multiple viewers who enjoyed the sequel. A lot of people I’ve seen prefer Asher Angel’s Billy Batson over Levi’s Shazam, and I don’t blame them. Billy in Shazam 2 is much more mature, and while I understand what Levi was going for, portraying a kid who feels he can act more youthful in adult superhero form, but he went way to far in the immature direction and he loses the forest for the trees. That coupled with Levi’s recent decent, I wouldn’t bring him back, and instead, Asher Angel would play both parts.

Another reason why I want Asher Angel to play both parts is because I want Billy Batson to be able to grow up. It’s something that rarely happens with him, and I feel like he’s one of THE superheroes that can show many kids that growing up is okay. That it’s okay if it goes slowly, just enjoy it and don’t be afraid of growing up as you get older. A superhero that reflects truly would’ve meant the world to me (it’s why I like MCU Spider-Man, because he was that for me in a way) but Shazam, it can be so much more explicit and cathartic for kids and adults. I’ll get more into that in the next part when I talk about the character arcs for the central characters. But, let’s go through everyone I’m bringing back

Asher Angel as Billy Batson/Shazam

Sorry for the lack of images. But yeah, as I’ve mentioned multiple times, we’re bringing back Asher Angel, but her won’t be the only one playing both versions of their character. I want to see Asher Angel be able to actually play the superhero and show how Billy is different whenever he’s his normal self and whenever he’s Shazam. Plus, I have a feeling he can be really really funny as well. It’d also also be really nice to see him as Shazam interact with characters like Corenswet’s Superman, JSA members I’ll talk about soon, Xolo’s Blue Beetle, and so on, as well as seeing him become a part of the Justice League or Justice League International.

Jack Dylan Grazer as Freddy Freeman

I did say most of the cast, so just prepare for repetition. I really like him as Freddy, he’s very goofy, and I also like would like to see him in his heroic form as well, again, I’d like to just see what he’d do with the heroic side, as well as how he’d change his voice in some since Freddy is the one I imagine would change his voice when in heroic form. We’ll also delve more into Freddy and his backstory, but we’ll get into that later. Moving on.

Grace Caroline Curry as Mary Bromfield

So, here’s the most popular character from these movies. Grace has already played both versions of Mary, so nothing new there in concept, but with Mary, I wanna focus on her backstory, as well as how she handle college and having her powers, as well as Anthea viewing her as a sorta bigger sister figure. Speaking of

Rachel Zegler as Anthea

Alright, so now that the misogynistic nerds who don’t know how to read beyond the headline of an article have shat themselves, called me a slur, and left because I said the name Rachel Zegler, let’s talk about Anthea. I really like Anthea as a concept and I liked Zegler’s performance, as well as her chemistry with Freddy, but I feel like we didn’t get to know her super well (especially compared her another DCEU OC Jenny Kord from Blue Beetle), but I wanna delver into her character, the idea of her learning about earth, and getting into some senior year of high school shenanigans because she needs a human alibi of some sort.

Ian Chen & Ross Butler as Eugene Choi

I don’t have a lot to say about These next 3, other than Butler is returning here because I believe canonically, he’d be like 16 or 17, so we’re going off the logic that at 18, you basically look the same with these powers. With Eugene, I wanna understand him better as a character. I have ideas about what games he’d be playing, as well as delve into his personality and origin story.

Jovan Armand & D.J. Catrona as Pedro Peña

Same logic with Eugene and Darla. With Pedro, I wanna get to understand his personality and backstory, but I really wanna see how his life is different from everyone else in the group, and see what it’s like for him being an LGBT teenager. But I don’t really have a lot to say about Pedro.

Faithe Herman & Megan Goode as Darla Dudley

Once again, same logic as the last two characters. With Darla, I really wanna see her in a semi-similar place Billy was at in the first film, and also feeling a bit disconnected, since a lot of people at 15 probably feel that way in some way shape or form. I also wanna get into her backstory, especially since she saw her birth parents right before she left whenever she was like 5, I’m sure she has similar issue like Billy had at 15, and I think it’d be nice to see Billy and her get closer as she continues to grow up.

Marta Milans & Cooper Andrews as Rosa & Victor Vásquez

Same as a lot of these, I’d love to get to know these two a lot better, and see how they handle their family growing up and doing things with their lives. I’d also take inspiration from Across the Spider-Verse with these two and their dynamic, and there’s actually a scene between Billy and Rosa I have an idea for that inspired by Miles and Rio’s last conversation before Miles leaves his earth, but more of that in the second part of this.

Mark Strong as Thaddeus Sivana

So, I plan to finally address the post-credit scenes of both films, and so Sivana will be a central character in this hypothetical show. I have a lot of ideas for him that are new, such as delving into his extended family (kids and ex wife included) and understand him better. Plus Mark Strong is a great actor.

David F. Sandberg as Mister Mind

Yes, I’m doing the worm, and his team the Monster Society of Evil.

Djimon Hounsou as the Wizard Shazam

Since the Wizard is alive, I figured he should be here. I also feel like him and Anthea can have a pretty interesting relationship since they’re both god like characters who don’t understand earth or American culture. Also Djimon Hounsou had worked with James Gunn before, he was Korath in Guardians of the Galaxy vol 1. I’d wanna portray the Wizard with humor, but I also wanna use Gandalf as an influence on his demeanor and character here, because it’d be an interesting angle for this character who’s usually more stoic.

Now, on to the JSA members.

Quintessa Swindell as Maxine Hunkel/Cyclone

Now we’re onto the Black Adam characters. I think the JSA were actually pretty well cast, I just wasn’t a fan of their writing and dynamics, which will definitely be changed. She could also represent the newer generation of heroes, along with Atom Smasher, and can relate to Billy in terms of getting the powers.

Noah Centineo as Al Rothstien/Atom Smasher

I think Atom Smasher was the worse handled JSA member, and he’d feel a lot closer to his comics counterpart. Again, I think the actor did good, but definitely deserved to have a different dynamic with member like Hawkman and shouldn’t have been the kid of the group.

Aldis Hodge as Carter Hall/Hawkman

Again, I really liked him as Hawkman. And with the DCU having a Hawkgirl (this version more than likely being Kendra Saunders, played by Isabela Merced), I’d like to see if she doesn’t want anything to do with Hawkman since she’s in the JLI and he’s in the JSA. Alright, one more to go.

Pierce Brosnan as Kent Nelson/Doctor Fate

Alright, so this casting was really good, but I have issues with the characterization, mainly the fact that Fate isn’t Nabu in control of someone’s body. That’s my only complaint other than be fucking dies in Black Adam, but since we’re ignoring Black Adam entirely except for these four casting choices, it’s safe to say he’s still here as Doctor Fate. I think the relationship between him and Billy would be super interesting and could work as a mentor figure for Billy when it comes to heroism.

Conclusion

And that’s everyone. I wanted to talk about new stuff in greater detail, but this post is already long enough, so I’ll mention the influences and the next post will go on from there.

My biggest influences are The Power of Shazam, The Trials of Shazam, the original comics, some of the New 52, JSA from the 90’s, and JLI. Again, I’m very sorry this post is long, and the next post will go more in depth on new characters and who I’d cast. Anyways, bye.

[galax-dragon]

hey guys. did you know I have other coroika aus then Corokina and chaospocalypse. Shocker I know (/j)

Anyway I am here to talk about one of them. It’s another fantasy au with similar vibes to Corokina, but it has the fucked-up-ness of chaospocalyse.

I am going to YAP so be prepared. If you read all the way to the end you get art

TWS: MENTIONS OF DEATH/MURDER, BLOOD IN THE ART

Ok so this au takes place in a fantasy universe, and it begins in a kingdom I don’t know the name of yet. Anyway Emperor is the king of this kingdom. Yeah I just like making him an evil king in my aus that’s just a running theme I tjink

YEAH EMPEROR IS EVIL!! Goggles is his court jester, but not by choice. Basically Emperor RIPPED Goggles from his friends because he was like “I like that one he’s stupid. Will be a perfect court jester.” And now Goggles is subtly plotting his REVENGE for being taken away from his friends!!

Prince is a prince. Shocker I know. They don’t have a big role in this but RIDER however…he is also a prince! Idk how to explain it but he’s like adopted kinda he is not blood related to Emperor and Prince.

Anyway Rider has a secret. He’s a dragon shapeshifter!! Meaning he can shapeshift into a dragon and it’s really fucking cool. Dragon rider my beloved ANYWAY in this kingdom shapeshifters are seen as monsters, so that’s why Rider has to keep this a secret.

Gorai is in this au. Shocker coming from me I know(/j) anyway Goggles finds out about Rider’s secret and is ok with it! Yay! Things go downhill from there.

There’s a pirate attack. The pirates are…THE S4!! It’s like really bad and Rider has no choice but to reveal his dragon form in order to protect his kingdom. Emperor sees this dragon form and is like “MONSTER!!” And rider gets…executed :(

BUT ITS OKAY ACTUALLY you’ll see. Goggles is like “oh no I’m really mad at emperor now” and then proceeds to get kidnapped by pirates that are the S4 (and their teams idk). And uh there’s this magic island that the S4 agree to take Goggles to for some reason and something something ocean adventure and skull is a kraken shapeshifter so yeah that’s cool. Anyway the reason Goggles wants to go to this magic island is because it has RESURRECTION POWERS!! And he wants to resurrect Rider!

But when they get to the island, there is an Issue. The magic on the island is corrupting, especially in the center where the resurrection power is. Goggles doesn’t care about this though, he’s willing to risk everything at this point.

But there are people on this island, here to protect people from the corrupting magic. The X-Blood!! They try to stop Goggles from reaching the center of the island, but Goggles does. And he resurrects Rider, but…

He comes back wrong. The corrupting magic messed up his brain so he can’t talk or even think well. All he knows is violence.

But Goggles doesn’t mind! Because the magic has corrupted him as well! He goes back to the S4 and Rider turns into a dragon and BURNS THE PIRATE SHIP, ABANDONING THE S4 ON THE ISLAND.

Then Goggles flies back to the kingdom on Dragon Rider’s back and proceeds to set stuff on fire! Yay! They also meet up with Emperor, and as their new corrupted selves, KILL HIM!! YIPPEE

and also Goggles takes Emperor’s place as the new king, you KNOW he’s gonna be a terrible one bro’s probably gonna declare war over pickled plums 😭

anyway hi I just accidentally summarized the entire plot of the fic I want to write about this. I probably won’t ever get around to writing/completing a fic about this but ANYWAY!! ART

All of this is kinda old but I still like it ok, might make some more art of this au soon

also I’m considering making a rp askblog for goggles (and rider?) in this au what do y’all think

EDIT: I FORGOR TO ADD THIS EARLIER this is all somewhat inspired by this song!

[bubble-popping]

👀👀 dnb stockholm syndrome au?

i would love to hear anything else you have (/nf. you you don't want to answer its ok)

all ur other aus r rly cool too!

Okay, first, thank you! I'm glad u enjoy my thoughts on the silly lil guys :) I'm just somewhat embarrassed/scared to share is all but if ppl wanna hear then I'll talk abt it :D

I'm gonna put it under the cut for anyone that isn't comfortable with all the stuff a stockholm syndrome au would entail :)

The main concept is that c!Techno is known for being like the richest guy on the server. He's more distant in this au, not really that welcoming to people and only truly cares about c!Phil. He's also somewhat of a hoarder of valuable items, but he's kinda grown bored of looking at the same things all the time. He wonders what could truly make him the richest man with the most resources.

Then, he hears that c!Dream's been imprisoned, and, even more interestingly, can revive people. He doesn't rly believe it for a while, until c!Tommy is resurrected. Now, he's very interested seeing as he and Phil only have one life each. But he has to wait for the right opportunity, he can't seem too eager.

So, he waits. While he waits, he creates a secret hidden base underground far from the rest of the smp where his next 'trophy' will stay. The day arrives where he receives the letter, the day he visits Dream and finds, well... something he didn't expect. He's imprisoned as well, he fully expected this. But he didn't expect how Dream seemed to care about him so much, how frantic he became at the thought that his only way out was now trapped with him, how small he looked when he curled into a ball nonsensically rambling and spiraling into paranoia.

Techno also didn't expect the strange feelings that grow as he lives in that little box with the man. Dream initially flinches whenever Techno sits too close to him, but eventually he relaxes, until soon it's clear he craves the physical contact and makes any excuse to touch and get touched.

When Phil finally pops the ender pearl stasis chamber, Techno begins working on plans to break him out immediately.

Once he does, he convinces Dream to stay with him, that nowhere else is safe and Sam and Quackity will find him if he leaves. In fact, he's banking on it, so he'll have the perfect excuse to take Dream to the secret base. It works out exactly as he hopes, only a few days pass before the two are at his door and Dream has a panic attack just at the sight of them. He has a full blown panic attack, clinging to Techno and begging him to not reveal his location. And Techno thinks how this was all too easy.

Of course Techno doesn't say anything to them, and makes sure they know better than to try and force their way in. After they leave, Techno waits until night fall to transport Dream to his 'trophy room'. Dream's hesitant about the cramped space, but he trusts Techno, so he stays. From there, Techno teaches him to listen to everything he says :)

[light-end-dragon]

Chapter 5

(Infirmary)

Mika: Zzz…..zzz……

Makoto: ?? He just randomly started snoring….?! I thought he woke up, but I don’t know any reason why he’d want to fake sleeping.

Yuuta: It’s a little bit contrived, though. Is he really asleep?

Mika: (Aah, it ain’t no use! They’re already on t’ me. Should I stop breathin’?)

Mika: (Wait, but I’d die if I stop breathin’! I can’t be dyin’ like this!!)

Mika: (I’m lookin’ forward to Valkyrie’s complete resurrection-and I can’t just be kickin’ the bucket before we make that dream come true. Valkyrie’s the strongest…!)

Makoto: N-now his limbs are starting to shake?! The infirmary’s air conditioning is working, so it can’t be because of the heat.

Makoto: Or maybe…now it’s too cold? Kagehira-kun, do you want me to get a blanket for you? 

Mika: (I c-can’t reply like this! They’ll know I’m fakin’......Calm your mind, calm your mind….) 

Mika: Zzz…..zzz…….

Makoto: (No…I’m pretty sure he’s awake, but I guess he just doesn’t want to talk to me? He looks really nervous…)

Nazuna: How’s Mika-chi…I mean, how is Kagehira doing? I’m sorry to keep you both waiting!

Makoto: Oh-Nito-senpai! Were you able to buy him something to eat?

Nazuna: Yeah, I have a sports drink, ice cream, candy, and some stuff….anything I thought he’d like.

Nazuna: Oh, right-and they were holding a sort of lottery that you could draw from if you bought enough, and I got this ticket for a free ice cream, any price!♪

Yuuta: Wow, that’s pretty amazing-you really cashed out on the luck today.

Nazuna: Yeah, it really feels like it. Anyway, is Sagami-sensei not here? 

Makoto: Not as far as we’ve been here. I would’ve thought he’d have come back soon since he didn’t leave a note, but where would he even go to take this long?

Nazuna: Ugh, if he were here, I could’ve left this with him. Why is the time he’s not here the exact time I really need him to be?? Now I’m in trouble.

Yuuta: Um…I’m very sorry, but I realized the warning bell is about to ring and I need to return to class. I’m still rather worried about him, but I feel a lot better about leaving him to rest in the infirmary….

Nazuna: No, go back, go back! You’ve helped more than enough-thank you! And don’t worry, I’ll figure something out from here.

Yuuta: Okay, then please excuse me-thank you! 

Mika: (This voice…that’s Nazuna-nii? There ain’t no mistakin’ it-its Nazuna-nii!)

Mika: (That…that means that nice person talkin’ to me jus’ now knows him!)

Mika: (If I’d a’known that, I’d not faked that I was sleepin’!!)

Mika: (Him soundin’ worried’s gotta be a trap too.)

Mika: (Right when I start trustin’ him, he’ll stab me in th’ back-I ain’t gonna let’em pull the wool over my eyes!)

Mika: (Gotta make a break for it when I can. Don’t got no strength left ‘cause I ain’t eaten, but I can’t just wait here. Who knows what he’ll do t’me!!)

Mika: (Oohhh, if I’d a’known it’d be like this, I’d’ve eaten lunch…)

Mika: (It’s the price I gotta pay for savin’ money, though. I gotta save for Valkyrie’s funds.)

Mika: (At least if I’d taken some candy, I’d’ve somethin’ to eat….nnn, wait, didn’t I put one in my pocket? Mmm~....mmm~.....)

Mika: (There-I jus’ felt it with my fingertip! Jus’ goin’ by the shape, but that’s definitely candy! Heaven’s lookin’ out fer me t’day~ehehe ♪)

Mika: (Mmm…the candy’s plumb stuck t’ the wrapper!! Did it melt in all this heat?!) 

Mika: (I wonder if I can jus’ rip it off if I put my back into it…might well give it a shot.) 

Mika: Nnn….hck…..naaaa?! 

Nazuna: Aaah-what was that?! W-what’s this on my face-quick, quick-Mako-chin, get it off!!

Makoto: Nito-senpai, please calm down! It’s just a piece of candy, though it seems like it got stuck there…..there’s a bathroom nearby; you should go use that to wash it all off.

Makoto: It’ll get all sticky if you use your hands. 

Nazuna: Y-yeah. I’m sorry, can I leave the rest to you and Anzu for now? I’m gonna come right back, so please just keep an eye on how Kagehira is doing.

Mika: (...Anzu? Anzu-chan came here with Nazuna-nii??)

Mika: (Nnnrrgh….that means she ain’t a friend either! I’m still gonna be surrounded by enemies..!)

Mika: (But I wasn’t expectin’ my candy t’ land on Nazuna-nii’s face like that. He-he might be an enemy, but I’ve gone and done a terrible thing to him….)

Mika: (No! Because of him, Valkyrie…t-that’s only fittin’ for someone who betrayed Oshi-san. So I ain’t gonna be sorry!!)

Makoto: Um, Kagehira-kun? How much do you remember? We found you passed out in the hallway and brought you here. Are you…um, thirsty? 

Makoto: I uh, got something here for you to drink…..You seem pretty hungry too. Do you…want some candy to eat?

Mika: ….D-don’t want none a’ that. Oshi-san’ll be right cross with me if I take stuff from other people. 

Makoto: Oshi…san? Are you talking about that person I see you around with? If I’m not mistaken, Kagehira-kun, you’re a member of Valkyrie, right? 

Mika: H-how d’ya know that?? You look all mild t’ throw people off that you’re a spy??

Makoto: N-no, no, you got it all wrong! I’m just really good with technology and smartphones, and I collect my own sort of database from the info I get at the academy. 

Makoto: It’s more like a hobby, I guess? That’s really the only reason I know you’re a member of Valkyrie.

Mika: Oh, that’s why? Now I feel real bad for misunderstandin’ ya….

Makoto: Ahaha, don’t worry about it. I did hear you muttering about candy in your sleep, though. Do you like sweet things, Kagehira-kun?

Mika: Eheh, I really love ‘em. I get real happy when I taste sweet stuff like that…♪ An’ I can get those candies awful cheap too.

Mika: It’s jus’ ‘bout 200 yen for a whole bag. It’s been my lifeline….♪

Makoto: I-I see….That is a pretty strict way of living ... Though I’d love for you to eat something proper; I think you’ll feel even better, then.

Makoto: See? Anzu-chan’s agreeing with me.

Mika: (Noo, I can’t do this! He’s friends with Nazuna-nii, and all close to Anzu-chan too…he has t’ be an enemy.)

Mika: (But he don’t seem like he’s lyin’ about his concern? Maybe he really is a good person…..)

Mika: (But then how does he know Anzu-chan? I gotta ask what unit he’s with…..) 

[knivesrey]

Dnd thoughts again

[bigskydreaming]

Hi, I was reading your post about Jason punching Dick in the face when Dick revealed he fake his death was bullshit ( which it was) and it reminded me of an issue/question that has bothered me for sometime.

Why did people believe Dick was actually dead?

I’m not the most avid comic reader so maybe I missed something but it was always weird to me that everyone just accepted this especially given how Bruce was acting or should I say wasn’t acting.

This is a man when his child died another child had to come along and told him sir you are being too violent and emotional you need supervision. When his other child died he went all over the universe to bring him back to life because he knew it was possible ( which was happening at the same time), so why didn’t anyone think it was weird he wasn’t doing that for Dick. Can you imagine Dick really dying that soon after Damian it would be injustice Batman Version. You are telling me that Tim, Jason or Barbara didn’t think it was weird that Bruce didn’t also bring Dick’s corpse to the bring Damian back to life mission or mention it to themselves. Like what more likely Dick dead and Bruce is handling it well or that he fake his death to do something stupid and Dangerous after his partner/brother/ little bit my son the feelings are complicated died after he was knocked out and woke up to his corpse.

Oh man, this is like, the entire nature of my beef?

(Slight derail just to emphasize the fact real quick that Dick DID actually die, he was just revived quickly, but like, the trauma of his death was very real and its not like anyone was clued into Luthor having a resurrection backdoor built into his literal murder of Dick in the actual moment of it happening. So Dick’s death wasn’t fake, and additionally, he didn’t have anything to do with like, telling people about it, because he was literally comatose in the cave and recovering while Bruce was telling people....by the time Dick woke up in the cave, we already know that Alfred at least had already been convinced by Bruce that Dick was dead, so I have a kneejerk need to pushback against the Dick faked his death narrative by reminding people wherever possible that Dick had no agency in the spreading of that narrative. 

It happened without him being involved, and the only actual contribution he ever made to it was just not revealing he was alive before Grayson #12, after Bruce like.....emotionally, mentally and physically badgered him into accepting that doing so would be directly harmful to his family and he didn’t want to be the reason more people died when like, people had just died because he ‘let’ himself be captured and interrogated by Power Woman’s Lasso of Submission, did he?

SORRY TO BE PEDANTIC, just wanted to start this off on a clarification, even though I know the aim of your ask was very much in tune with the rest of my response. A lot of people don’t read the actual comics, so like, I’m never gonna skip over an opportunity to emphasize that the shorthand people use to refer to Dick’s death and the year he was with Spyral, is like, literally just shorthand for describing it. Its not actually an accurate description of how all that went down and who had the most hand in it).

BUT ANYWAY. BACK TO THE MEAT OF THE BEEF.

Okay so like, not only was the entire family and Bruce himself giving Dick shit for his death and Spyral, like, PAINFULLY egregious because it was literal victim blaming in every possible sense of the word....

None of it made a LICK of sense with ANY of their characterizations, and they ONLY all accepted it on face value because the Plot Demanded It, and when you're like, no, as a reader I say The Plot Demanded It is not a good enough reason for me to be like well sure, that makes sense......looking at the characters ACTUAL actions at face value pretty much just makes them all look like assholes?

Like, Tim has never gracefully accepted anyone's death. Ever. This is core characterization for him. He will go to the ends of the earth for his loved ones and to bring them back, prove they're not dead, refuse to let death be the final verdict for them. He was tempted to use the Lazarus Pit to bring his parents back to life. He refused to accept Bruce was dead long before he had any proof whatsoever of that theory. He tried to clone his BFF/future-husband Kon in his fucking basement like, dude was two whole inches away from going Full Dark Side in his quest to bring back a lost loved one no matter WHAT the cost.....and then you've got Dick unmasked onscreen, killed offscreen, and Bruce then reporting to the rest of them with zero inflection 'oh Dick's dead now. Its very sad' and Tim's just like, sure. Sounds legit.

I mean?!?!

And you're SO RIGHT ABOUT THE DAMIAN THING! Bruce LITERALLY LITERALLY LITERALLY went BEYOND the ends of the Earth, like, he full on chartered a fucking space ship to fly his whole family out to APOKOLIPS to bring Damian back from the dead by going to EXTREME lengths.....WHILE everyone else thought Dick was dead....

And not a single person looked at Bruce and was like, okay, not that we're not down to do this for Damian because we miss Stabby Smurf something fierce ourselves, but.....what the fuck is UP with you dude? Why aren't you displaying ANY hint of this same kind of energy in regards to your eldest son that you said you watched die right in front of you?

Like....I don't know that we were actually ever told that Dick's coffin was empty or had a fake in it, but like....this family of detectives who refuse to accept death, defy death, COME BACK FROM THE DEAD....not a single one of them said like, okay, if I'm gonna like, ACCEPT accept that Dick is dead and gone for good, I need to at least just see him one last time? That's literally all it would have taken for someone to realize hey something's a little wonky here. Where's the dead body, Pops?

Since when has Jason ever missed an opportunity to prove Bruce is a) full of shit, b) acting like an emotionless robot and all his kids deserve better especially when they've just like....died, c) just factually incorrect and wrong and jumped to a conclusion before it was conclusively proved, d) lying like a liar or e) all of the above?

Nobody even ASKED if Dick's body could be put in a Lazarus Pit? Yeah, Jason wouldn't necessarily recommend it himself, given what it put him through, but actually fuck that, I take that back, because I'm NOT actually of the opinion that Jason full on hates his life and actively spends every second of every day wishing he hadn't been resurrected, even if it had come with a huge buffet of additional trauma and pain.

And that's kinda what's implied when people just take it for granted that he would never be on board with any scenario involving using a Lazarus Pit to bring Dick back, because it suggests that based even just on his own experiences and feelings, he honestly believes Dick would prefer being dead and not have ANY further opportunities to be with his loved ones, his friends, help save the damn world again at some future point.....that Jason, projecting based just off himself, legit feels Dick would rather be dead than have another shot at life even WITH the downsides of Lazarus Pit usage? Nope. Sorry, I don't buy it.

Speaking of not buying it.....you know what was missing from all those soliloquies the others monologued at Dick about how they felt and were hurt and just devastated by his death, to such a point they can't seem to muster a single shred of happiness that he's NOT dead still -

(seriously, Damian was the ONLY person in ALL THE LANDS OF EMOTION-HAVING who expressed ANY kind of positive reaction to having Dick back. We were so fucking cheated of like.....ANY opportunity to have the characters show just how much they valued him by just being fucking HAPPY he was alive, no matter what else was involved....and then most of fandom compounded that by for years being like mmmm, no, Dick didn't get yelled at enough by his family for what HE put THEM through. Needs more yelling. More punching too. Bad Dick. Bad. This is the only way you'll learn not to die and get shipped off on a mission that you don't want but at least is to protect your family after being beaten into it by your dad whilst victim blaming you for dying in the first place. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN TO THINK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE AND THEIR FEELINGS FOR A CHANGE, DICK?!?)

- But like, BUT I DIGRESS aside....you know what was missing from all those monologues about how hard DICK'S death and ensuing year of basically exile from his loved ones was for EVERYONE BUT HIM?

We never got a single line of explanation as to what everyone else officially thinks even happened to him in the first place?

Like, did Bruce straight up just say oh bad news kids, your brother umm. Expired. Spontaneously. There's no one to blame, he just keeled over, its all very sad.

Is that how that went down?

You're telling me that the explanation of Dick's death didn't come with a single pointed finger at someone for this family of blame-happy vigilantes to like, BLAME for the loss of this brother they all mourned oh so much, they just couldn't help but blame him for all the hurt it caused them?

The family that in every other fic is like OBSESSED with avenging and being avenged and all things vengeful and even tangentially vengeance-y....like didn't ask for a single detail on whomst the fuck deprived us of our brother-having?

Where were the attempts on Luthor's life by Jason (who I mean, yeah I know it was in a previous continuity, but erasing that timeline doesn't erase my awareness of the time Dick killed Jason's murderer so like.....mmm, just saying, woulda been nice)....where was the rage directed at the Crime Syndicate and references to how seriously and personally the Batfam took making sure that they were PUNISHED for all this and would never be free to wreak havoc on their world or their family again? What did they tell Damian when he came back to life, and how are you going to tell me that this fraternal little ball of fury didn't aim himself like a cannonball at whomever the fuck had DARED take HIS Batman from him when Damian wasn't around to have his back?

Not only does everyone else's desire to be avenged start falling really flat the second you factor in hey maybe Dick feels "mmm what about MY avenging" sometimes, and why doesn't anyone ever care about doing that for him.....but also, y'know what REALLY sucks about the ONLY person we actually SEE being blamed for Dick's death and ensuing absence being like....Dick himself?

Not only were his family all super keen on making all of this HIS fault and HIM the bad guy because of how it made them all feeeeeeel (and meanwhile fuck his feelings, am I right Batfam hfaklshfklahfkla).....

They somehow found a way to justify prioritizing this OVER ever even getting around to blaming some villain for his death in the FIRST place, in the entire year or so they thought he was still dead!

Like, you couldn't come up with a single target in all that time, but Dick's back two seconds, and you don't even give him a chance to EXPLAIN before you're punching him, shutting him down with 'I expected better from you' and turning away with 'I don't want to hear it, why am I surprised Dick Grayson disappointed me again'?

afshklfhalfhalfhla

Make it make sense!

And like, it won't, cuz it doesn't, and it never will, and like I said at the top, the ONLY reason it all played out this way is because DC doesn't give a fuck about character development and deemed it necessary to go down this way for the sake of the plot (which was totes worth it, I mean, glad we sacrificed characters for this A+ plot which was clearly the greatest plot of all time and definitely justified every story choice made or not made around it loooool).

BUT.

BUT BUT BUT.

The problem isn't JUST that DC is stupid, even though that is an eternal mood and quite the problem.

Its that the SECOND large parts of fandom decided to play along with DC and just accept the story at face value, only add to it and play into it exactly as it happened in canon with no significant deviations, and like, heaping on the LITERAL abuse from Dick's siblings while ignoring the LITERAL abuse from his father....

THAT....is when all of this becomes relevant.

Because the second people decided TO engage with the reasoning DC gave for what Bruce did and how and what Dick did and how and just not mess with any of that and have it all play out exactly like that...

The second people are like, okay we're FINE with not just dismissing this story as OOC writing that doesn't make any sense, and actually VALIDATING it to various degrees by engaging with it as is....

That's when 'OOC writing' stops being an excuse or explanation for alllll of the above gaps in character logic and actions.

Because its like, when you had abundant chance to REJECT this story and say nope, this was bullshit from start to finish and I'm not here for it, when you were just as capable of transforming literally ANY aspect of this story you didn't like into something that made more sense to you....

And you chose not to.

That's.....accepting it as valid writing. You were like, okay, I'm game to just treat this as a thing that happened, just like they said that happened.

For the chance to give Dick shit for it, see. For the angst, see.

And that's when I'm like okay cool, so when engaging with this story as is and accepting it on face value and just delving into the characters as they were SHOWN interacting with and around these events......for the angst or whatever....

You guys just all decided en masse to just hop, skip and jump over allllllllll the opportunities for angst inherent in examining even ANY SINGLE ONE of the above lapses in judgment or hypocrisy on the parts of the characters (who don't get to be excused by OOC writing if you're not going to call the story an example of OOC writing, whoops).

And its just like, uh, what's up with that?

[nancylou444]

In my opinion, the problem with the angels, being a result of the writer's strike and Erik Kripke, needing a way to get Dean out of Hell, wasn't the issue that angels got introduced. Sometimes you need a bit of a short cut to get from one point to the next. I think the problem was that they as in Castiel massively overstayed their welcome. For Season 5, they worked fine. They offered a very unique conflict with the topics of belief and non-believers and how despair can make you cling to ridiculous hopes. I just think that Kripke could have maybe polished the whole true vessel stuff a bit more to show what makes Sam and Dean so unique, and why they have to be picked.

But yeah, in the storyline, they were supposed to be in, aka season 4 till 5, maybe till the begin of season 7, if you really wanna stretch it, they worked. But as soon as Castiel got resurrected with that weird trench coat scenes (seriously, why the heck would Dean keep this coat around; I could see him maybe burn it in sort of a symbolic funeral), it was over. Like that was the moment, where Castiel was beginning to seriously overstay his welcome and the writers scramble their brains for some new ideas. I am not gonna lie, I did enjoy Gadreel's introduction, but that's probably because I love story arcs, where Sam is evil or gets possessed, so I am biased in this field.

But when it came to Castiel, the writers seem to no longer know what the heck, they wanna do with him. He got extremely dummed down, reckless and a hypocrite (now that wouldn't be a problem if the writers actually chose to make that a character trait and not some accident). Honestly during the latter seasons, I became increasingly annoyed with his scenes, because I had no clue how the heck they were advancing the plot along. It all felt like pointless detours. If anything, shouldn't the angels have just evicerated him for casting him out? Like shouldn't it all have been on sight? Honestly, the writers legit can only bring him back, because Gadreel is there!

But for me, the moment where I really started to hate Castiel, where I was like Okay, you lost any saving grace, was the moment where he allowed Lucifer to possess him. Especially given that he did it, because he couldn't stand being on the sidelines. He had to play hero and did so by releasing his own murderer and Sam's tormentor. My brain legit just went What the fuck? Did your memories hit a hard reset or are you just that stupid?.

Leave alone, that Misha cannot act as Lucifer at all. At least with Mark and Jared (especially in season 5), you have the feeling that this is the same character, who just happens to be in a different body. With Misha, I am like Am I watching Lucifer or did one of the Leviathans accidentally yeeted its ass out of purgatory again? Because that is the only comparison, I can draw. Honestly Casifer is so badly acted, it makes Season 11 such a slog to get through. I am literally dreading the episodes he appears in. And problem is, I don't think I can skip them. Ugh.

But yeah, in summary, what Kripke used as a short cut got expanded upon way what was necessary and ended up overstaying its welcome. Hope you don't mind me adding my two cents to this. :)

So much agree with this. 💖

I liked Castiel up to when he died in Hello Cruel World. He had redemption before he walked into the water.

Dean (and Sam) should have salt and burned the trenchcoat NOT cleaned and neatly folded it THEN moved if from one car to another. Remember Baby was put away and they were using random cars, so IF (and that's a mighty big OOC if) Dean was 'saving' the trenchcoat, why not leave it safe in Baby's trunk?

Castiel should have stayed dead with the angels storyline in general ending with his death.

Bringing him back was a disservice to a great character because his return only led to fanservice. What purpose did Cass' return bring to the show? What purpose did the continued existence of angels bring to the show?

Bringing Claire and Lucifer back for the sole reason of giving Cass a storyline shows that he had NO reason for still being in SPN.

Having Cass say 'yes' to Lucifer makes you wonder if season 4-6 Castiel was a different character from Cass, since Castiel would never have fallen for that bullshit. Castiel was a badass warrior angel, Cass was an eunuch.

Killing Cass in All along the Watchtower only to bring him back AGAIN continued to make a mockery of an once great character.

Misha acted in his first go around, but once Singer bought him back, MC had job security so that's why we got Lucifer!Cass, Empty!Cass and whatever he was in the AU.

Kripke's shortcut was fine BUT he allowed Misha's "popularity" to dictate killing Anna and promoting Castiel to top angel. I'm sure if he had stuck to his original angel plan, angels would have been a done deal a long time ago.

[sundayswiththeilluminati]

What Cristabel Did

EXTENSIVE SPOILERS for Gideon the Ninth and Harrow the Ninth below. If you haven’t read both books, skip the rest of this post. In fact just get off tumblr and go read them instead. I guarantee they’re better than anything else you’ll find here. 

I think I know why John Gaius didn’t tell his disciples about the perfect Lyctorhood, and I don’t think it had to do with sharing power or with AL. I think it’s the same reason why Augustine and Mercymorn hate each other, why Anastasia was the only one to figure out the Eightfold Word, and why Mercy doesn’t want to hear her cavalier’s name.

tl;dr I think Cristabel and Alfred tried to kill some number of the original disciples, forcing them to try for lyctorhood before the ritual was fully understood, and John kept quiet because he didn’t want to tell them they’d killed their cavaliers for nothing.

The handwritten note at the end of the sermon on cavaliers and necromancers says, “valancy says one flesh one end sounds like instructions for a sex toy. can’t stop thinking about that so can someone stop cris and alfred before the sex toy phrase catches on, thanks.” This early in the Nine Houses’ history the entire concept of necromancer and cavalier is still being figured out. It sounds like Cristabel and Alfred were the main drivers behind the idea of the cavalier-necromancer relationship as a formal, sacred oath, coming up with the phrase “one flesh, one end” in the process. Much much later Silas Octakiseron brands the ritual of lyctorhood a mortal sin and heresy as soon as he hears what it entails, because he treats the cavalier-necromancer bond as a sacrament akin to a holy marriage. To trespass against that bond, he declares, was to sin against the Emperor himself. The sermon before the handwritten note backs up that idea, talking about the combination as having all sorts of profound religious symbolism.

Therefore: what if the disciples were working on the ritual of lyctorhood and hadn’t yet figured the cavalier didn’t have to die, when Cristabel and Alfred decided they had to take action to keep any of them from trying? What if, like Silas in Canaan House, Cristabel decided the idea of the adept killing their cavalier was rank heresy and had to be prevented by any means necessary, and convinced Alfred of it as well? Cristabel was from the Eighth House, though early enough that it may not have taken on its hardline personality - then again, perhaps Cristabel’s actions are why it did take on that hardline personality. Augustine calls her an idiot, but also “a fanatic,” and his own brother someone who “regretted that he wasn’t.”

Augustine says that he became a lyctor “under scrambling pressure,” and when Harrow tells the Emperor that she became a lyctor under duress, he replies, “You aren’t the first.” Then when Augustine is talking to John about Alfred, he says, “I have built an entire myriad on the idea that I could’ve made him come around, given five minutes.” That’s in response to John saying, “No one could make him do anything he didn’t want to.” That could mean either Augustine thinks he could have talked Alfred into willingly dying to perform the ritual, or that he could have talked Alfred out of doing something else dire. The way John phrases it makes me think it’s the latter, because in the context of the conversation they’re discussing Cristabel’s influence, and John knows that the lyctoral ritual can be performed even if the cavalier is unwilling. 

So: Cristabel and Alfred decide that they need to do whatever it takes to keep the other disciples from performing the ritual. Either by accident or design, they put Augustine in a situation where he’s facing imminent death - maybe not intentionally on Alfred’s part, but it happens. Augustine chooses to kill his brother and take in his soul to survive as a lyctor, becoming the first to ascend. This fits with Augustine’s loathing of Mercymorn, who in his mind forced him to murder his brother; of his own immortality, since it was gained at the cost of murdering family; and of necromancy in general. He has to convince himself that he could have talked Alfred into making the sacrifice if there were time to ask because otherwise the guilt will destroy him.

After ascension, Augustine’s probably fighting Alfred’s soul, but he’s a powerful spirit magician. Like Ianthe he may be scattered but he’s still present. So now he rounds on Cristabel and probably mortally wounds her. He means to finish the job but Mercymorn intervenes, alerted to what’s happening by all the chaos. She finds her cavalier dying. Cristabel asks her to avenge her and kill Augustine and, since she’s already dying, to use her soul to do it. Mercy finishes Cristabel off and swallows her soul, becoming the second lyctor. So from the very beginning Mercymorn is absolutely set on Augustine’s death and blames him for Cristabel’s death and, in an indirect way, forcing her to become a lyctor as well.

After that it gets a little fuzzy. Events could go several different ways and we just don’t have enough info. I favor the idea that maybe the rampage continues - or maybe Cristabel and Alfred had set all of them up to be in mortal peril (possibly in space, where an adept’s powers won’t work but a lyctor’s would) - because of Mercy’s quote at Cytherea’s funeral: “I never saw her cry except once. The day after. When we put together the research. When she became a Lyctor. I said, There was no alternative. She said, We had the choice to stop.” Mercy saying “there was no alternative” and Cytherea answering with “we had the choice to stop” makes me think everyone was in duress. Mercy saying, “the day after. When we put together the research,” makes me think that they hadn’t fully pieced together the ritual even though six people had already ascended; Augustine improvised. “The day after” also makes me think that most of the lyctors ascended in a single night. If Augustine through Cassiopeia ascended in a group, only Cytherea and Anastasia would be left. Loveday volunteered for the rite in hopes of curing Cytherea, so that’s a non-distress motive for them to ascend as well. That leaves only Anastasia, who now has plenty of time to figure it out on her own.

Where’s John in all this? Remember what Ianthe said when she was trying to regrow her arm? She thought John would tell her to try it on her own first to build her own skill. Maybe John was letting his disciples work out lyctorhood on their own, expecting that they’d figure out the full ritual in time. If they’d planned to try the imperfect ritual, he probably would have stepped in and said, “No, no one has to die, yes now you’re mad at me because I knew the answer all along but it was a learning experience okay.” But because Augustine had to make a scrambling improvisation, John didn’t get the chance to intervene. So before he can do anything, Augustine and Mercy, plus some number of the middle four, have already killed their cavaliers and swallowed their souls (meaning no resurrection). He’s faced with the choice of telling them that those murders weren’t necessary, or keeping the secret and letting Loveday and Cytherea go through with the imperfect ritual. John tells himself that it’ll hurt them all too much if he tells them they killed their cavaliers for nothing, and Loveday’s willing to die already. He stays quiet.

That leaves only Anastasia. With the benefit of time and the others’ experience, Anastasia realizes the ritual can be done without killing the cavalier. She plays this close to the vest, uncertain of her results and unwilling to traumatize the others unless she’s sure. Just in case she’s right, she bans everyone except John from watching her attempt. If she succeeds and Samael lives, they can figure out how to break it to the others. But something goes wrong - or John sabotages her - and Samael dies, leaving Anastasia thinking she didn’t have it right after all.

A myriad later, John and the other lyctors have yet to allow or invite any other adepts to attain lyctorhood, believing the cost is too high. But now they’re down to four lyctors and three Resurrection Beasts, and those four lyctors are showing the strain. So John invites the heirs and their cavaliers to Canaan House. He knows his first disciples left the necessary information behind to put together the rite - only the imperfect rite, but that’s okay because this time there won’t be anyone making the choice under duress. As he tells Harrow, “I intended for the new Lyctors to become Lyctors after thinking and contemplating and genuinely understanding their sacrifice—an act of bravery, not an act of fear and desperation. Nobody was meant to lose their lives unwillingly at Canaan House.” If the cavaliers are okay with it, he’s not on the hook, he reasons. He’ll keep his secret and get new lyctors without any fresh guilt on his conscience.

Except of course it doesn’t work out that way. As usual, John’s future plans are sabotaged by his past plans coming back to haunt him. He ends up gaining one and a half lyctors at the unexpected cost of one old lyctor, so that’s a net gain of half a lyctor with several heirs dead in the process. And then an even newer plan gets sabotaged by an even older plan, leaving him with one and a half, possibly two functioning lyctors. Meanwhile Camilla and Palamedes are out there probably as a functional lyctor-cavalier pair that he doesn’t know about, because Palamedes has been stuck in freeze-frame hell for long enough to come to the same conclusions as Anastasia. It’s not gonna go well for John, ey?

[laylamva]

Miitopia Nuzlocke!

Okay, so I’d been doing a Miitopia Nuzlocke for a month and decided to chronicle it. Spoilers…I didn’t make it. 

Rules

If a Mii falls in battle, they’re gone for good (Unless it’s the protagonist).

I will only use the Life Sprinkle on the protagonist.

If the whole party falls in the same battle, everyone will still be counted as alive.

If a Mii is resurrected by another party member, they will be counted as alive.

If the dead Miis cost us the final boss, only then will I go back to level them up.

When a Mii dies, I will change their hair color to white, their eye color to black, and rename them “Spooky Ghost” to keep track of who I’ve lost (and also to make me feel better about sentencing my beloveds to death).

I will draw random characters from Mii Maker for every major character and decide party jobs by spinning a wheel.

The Nuzlocke ends after the main story. I cannot bring myself to care about the post-game.

If the protagonist dies on their own, the Nuzlocke is aborted.

Sabrina Raincomprix is protag/safe gorl.

WALUIGI x TEMMIE OTP (they’re the lovey-dovey couple)

Sassy Child Elmo pretending to be a dragon foreshadows Dominic.

Lenny

Dark Lord Chloé Bourgeois is fun to voice

Sabrina’s a chef.

Simone Soleil! Male Pop Star.

Before you look him up, Simone’s an OC. I put an OC in here. Help.

Every time I have played this game with Spotpass on, the freaking blobfish Mii always weasels its way in! (It’s the Nintendo Fangirl)

Got the new Zelda amiibo. Wonder if it’ll give me a costume?

IT DID!

I changed Sabrina’s eyebrows to match the Zelda wig…she looks exactly like me.

Leon Kuwata, Ultimate Mage AU

AU where Genocider Syo is a good guy who unkills people

I almost lost the Danganronpa characters, but we lost the fight.

Simone’s dead. But it’s okay, because he’s a spooky ghost.

I actually made up a “Farm Upstate” story to make myself feel better about Miis dying. “They’re not dead, they just turned into ghosts because of a cosmic paradox and can’t leave the inn as a side effect!”

Leon is at war with the moles. And also Sabrina, apparently.

On a related note, Sabrina Raincomprix and Genocider Syo BroTP???

I made Teruteru Hanamura the King. If you’ve seen all his Free Time Events, the calming fruit mission hits different.

And Sonia Nevermind is the princess. Can you tell what my current hyperfocus is?

Why does the wheel keep giving me Pop Star things? Simone’s been dead for three sessions it’s time to move on—

General Sonia killed Leon and Syo. My entire first party is DEAD.

Sabrina’s a warrior now.

Maya Aida from Glitter Force Doki Doki is my Imp.

One time when I was playing this game, I tried making a Starlow Mii from scratch, but then I realized it looked like someone different. Someone better. And now it’s all come full circle as Tonker Bell joins us as the Airheaded Cat!

Sabrina just got the Bee Armor. Suck it, Chloé!

Genie of the Lamp The Master World’s End Club

Homura Akemi as the Dancing Guide? Imagine Homura being happy.

Steve from Blue’s Clues: The Kind Thief

Steve and Tonker Bell BroTP!

tonker bell just died.

If we’re going with the “Sabrina dumped Chloé” narrative, I feel like even with two kind party members, Sabrina would keep chanting until the genie was sealed again.

Crap I bought Tonker Bell something

I LOOK AWAY FOR ONE SECOND AND NOW MAYA’S DEAD OH GOD—

Steve’s the only one left.

Ugh, scratch that.

OK, Sabrina’s on her own. If she dies, game over.

Why am I listening to Dodie music while I’m doing this? It’s making this sadder.

WHY IS MY FIRST FIGHT ALONE AGAINST HOMURA???

AND SHE’S A PAINTING I’M BONED—

I lost. The Nuzlocke is over. RIP.

So…yeah. I plan on doing this again on the Switch later, but that’s gonna go on YouTube…as soon as I can figure out how my capture card works. BTW, “Spooky Ghost” didn’t fit in the text box for Mii names, so here’s what I named them instead:

Simone: Sun Ghost

Tonker Bell: Disbelief

Maya: AngelHeart

Steve: At College

Syo and Leon were taken away before I could give them ghost names, but if I did, they would’ve been called 11037 and Genocided. And I didn’t name Ghost Sabrina because the Nuzlocke ended. But, hypothetically…Vanisher.

[peninkwrites]

A Talk Long Overdue -

Tommy has his first therapy session with Puffy.

(suicidal thoughts and past abuse are discussed in this fic!)

Crossposted to ao3

ch 1 of ?

ch 2

ch 3

ch 4

ch 5

ch 6

ch 7

ch 8

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Tommy was on time. Puffy hadn’t expected him to be on time.

“Oh. You’re already here.”

“Uh. Yeah? What, was I not supposed to be?” Tommy has an edge to his voice where its hard to read how sincere he’s being. It’s a shield. Puffy had been surprised enough when Tommy had reached out, for more than the mere fact that he was supposed to be dead. That first step didn’t leave her thinking this job would be easy.

“No, no you’re fine, Tommy. Come in,” she stepped back, nodding him in from the waiting room to her office.

“Do I have to fill out a form? Sam had forms for me to fill out,” Tommy’s posture has never been good, but it’s like he’s trying to make himself smaller, arms folded across his chest.

“This isn’t a prison, Tommy. I’m not worried about you being a liability issue,” Puffy tries to keep her tone light, teasing, but she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t anxious. She wanted to help these kids and she would, but she still had no grounding in the depths she would soon be under. Tommy was… Tommy was a particular case. He knew Dream better than most. Maybe better than Puffy did at this point.

Her personal attachments would stay out of this office.

“Right… It’s fuckin’ ugly though, I hate granite. Ugliest block there is,” Tommy seemed more focused on the walls than on her.

“Mhm. I’ll take that into consideration,” she said dryly. “You gonna sit down?”

“Yeah, yeah, right,” Tommy mumbled a sarcastic affirmation, sitting down like the chair might bite him. He's pale, she notes. Paler than she remembered. And bruised too, just barely, just the faint yellowing of old bruises on his face and arms. From what Puffy knew about deaths, deaths in normal, non-resurrected circumstances, brutal wounds carried over and scarred. Tubbo's burn scars were a well known example. Puffy didn't want to think about what kind of brutality was enough that bruises carried over. She pushes the thought aside. This meeting was about far more than her comfort with the subject matter.

“This is session one, Tommy. We’re not gonna just run into this. We’re just talking, okay?” Puffy leaned forward, hoping to garner some eye contact. Tommy stared at her glass coffee table and shrugged.

“Session one… there’s gonna be more, then?”

“Yeah. Yeah, there usually are. If you’re up for it. This isn’t exactly a one and done deal,” Puffy truly hoped he would come back after this. Otherwise it would be a waste of both of their time and Tommy would be beyond her help.

Tommy huffed in acknowledgement, fidgeting restlessly. His dirty sneakers bounce off the glass side of the coffee table, too aimless to do any damage. “Aren’t you supposed to have a book or something? To write down how I’m fucked in the head and shit?”

Puffy hopes she doesn’t look as startled as she feels. Shit, he just gets right to the point, doesn’t he? “Uh. No. No, I might take notes at some point, but I’m not too worried about it.”

“Right. Then… What am I supposed to do?” Tommy seemed to be expecting some instruction, a guide he could follow to do therapy before checking it off his list and then being better. Puffy wished it were that easy.

“To start,” Puffy almost felt embarrassed to get out a notebook now. “First off, anything you say in this room is between you and me. Unless you threaten to harm yourself or others. Okay?”

Tommy eyed her carefully. “And if I… do threaten to harm myself or others, who’re you gonna tell?” It almost felt like a dare.

“Depends on who you threaten,” Puffy tries to keep her voice level. “But Tubbo, for starters. He really cares about you. If you threaten someone else, I’ll probably have to tell them.”

“You know who I’d threaten,” Tommy mutters darkly.

Keep your personal life out of this, Puffy, she steels herself. “Well, in that case I’d probably have to tell Sam.”

Tommy scoffs, “right, ‘cause then he’d actually do something instead of standing by while… while…” Tommy frowns, staring at the floor. Puffy sees him shudder. “Got it. What’s next?”

Puffy tried to ignore the sinking dread in her stomach. She needed to be procedural. “Why’d you choose to come here? To therapy?”

Puffy did not expect Tommy to stumble over the first question, but at least he pulled back from that eerie brooding he had been falling towards a moment ago.

“Uh. I was freaking the fuck out. And saw this whole place and wrote that… thing… and I didn’t really expect you to respond. I dunno. Saw your note and thought… thought maybe it’d help. Help with the freaking the fuck out thing.”

“Okay. Okay, fair enough. And what do you want therapy to accomplish for you?” It feels too routine, too rehearsed, for someone like Tommy.

He looked at her like she’d said something dumb. “Help… with the freaking the fuck out… thing,” he repeated more slowly.

“...Right.”

“Is this the part where I start baring my soul and all my trauma?” He asked sarcastically.

Puffy knew what she was doing wrong. She was nervous. Caution never suited Tommy well before, and while she had no intention of being blunt after everything he’d been through, treating him delicately was a great way to get him to shut down.

“Okay, not quite. But how about you tell me more about the freaking the fuck out thing? You’ve got a long list of reasons to be freaked. What’s hitting you more recently?” Puffy was direct, but kept things vague. She had a feeling reminding this kid of his very recent death was not the way to go.

Tommy let off a high, nervous laugh. “Hitting me recently… That was shit.”

Puffy felt queasy. She had been told what had happened, what Dream had done. It was different to hear it from the victim, even in passing. “It, uh. It wasn’t supposed to be a joke. Just bad word choice.”

“Oh. Right, then,” Tommy nodded sharply. He seemed to struggle for a moment, warring over what to say next. “I–” He stopped, grimacing. “There’s some shit I do not want to talk about right now. Don’t even… Don’t even want to fuckin’ say it out loud.” He waited, no question asked, but still expecting a response, reassurance.

“That’s fine. Start wherever you can. We’ve got time,” she left things open, but she had no intention of letting him bury things forever. That felt like something to be puzzled out later.

“I don’t know where I can start. Some stuff feels more fucked up than other stuff right now, but… but none of it feels like something I can just… I can just talk about,” Tommy still seemed to be waiting for something from her.

“I’m not gonna make you talk about anything you aren’t ready for. But we have to start somewhere.”

Tommy nodded, still tense, but maybe a little put at ease that Puffy put no pressure on him. “The stuff before exile was… it was fine,” Tommy said in a way that made Puffy think it definitely wasn’t fine. “So, we’ll just move right on past that, but the most recent stuff is…” Tommy winced again. “Yeah, I’m not gonna get into that. And that just leaves…” Tommy took a deep breath, gearing up to get the words out. “That just leaves exile.”

“Okay. Maybe we could start slow? Start from the beginning?” Puffy offered as he continued to stare off into space, leg bouncing and hands fidgeting in his lap. “I remember seeing you and Ranboo going to George’s house.”

Tommy almost seemed startled, eyes wide and skittish, like he had forgotten her involvement in any of this. “Yeah… Yeah, that’s the start of it we– I burned down George’s house and then I needed to be punished…” Tommy radiated bitterness, but Puffy had caught that slip of the tongue.

“I know Ranboo was involved, Tommy,” Puffy said gently, causing Tommy to start, staring at her, anxious tension rising in his shoulders. “He’s not gonna get in trouble. And neither are you for protecting him. There’s no one else left who wants to punish you, okay?”

“Yeah… yeah, okay…” Tommy muttered, continuing to shift away from eye contact.

“You know that was a brave thing you did. Protecting Ranboo. You hardly knew him and you defended him without a second thought. That’s good,” Puffy didn’t want Tommy to be scared of every choice he made.

“No it wasn’t,” Tommy’s voice grew high and defensive, his breathing quicker. “I– I didn’t know what the consequences would be, I had no fucking idea, and-and maybe if I’d– But I know I couldn’t have because Ranboo didn’t deserve to go through that, he… I dunno.”

Puffy waited for him to finish, she didn’t interrupt, just listened until his rambling died down and turned to confusion, like he was surprised that she didn’t talk over him. “Tommy, you’re right. Ranboo didn’t deserve to be exiled any more than you did. The punishment did not fit the crime. But what you did, regardless of the consequences anyone else put on you, it was the right thing, it was brave and kind. Don’t overthink it, just know that the choice you made there was one meant to protect, even if it led to some… bad consequences.”

Tommy let off that high nervous laugh that was so unlike him. “Bad consequences…”

“When I say consequences, I don’t mean deserved.”

“Like what we deserve fuckin’ matters. It’s always just the bigger guy doing whatever he thinks should happen. All this could’ve been avoided if I’d just kept to myself and not done shit,” Tommy nodded like that settled the matter, slouching back further in his chair.

“You burned down George’s house, but you didn’t mean to, right? If I remember right, you said something like… you just meant to take some stuff, it was supposed to be more of a prank than a crime,” Puffy offered.

“Yeah, I guess,” Tommy didn’t seem to believe her.

“Hey, you don’t think you deserve what happened, do you?” Puffy asked gently. She knew it was a leading question, but she wanted her stance to be clear. This wasn��t subject for debate, no one deserved… whatever it was that made Tommy so scared.

“Does it matter?”

“Yeah, Tommy. It does. I’m gonna puzzle this out for you. You destroyed George’s house and took his stuff. What would’ve been fair for that?” Puffy had an answer ready, but she wanted to give him the chance to answer first.

Tommy was rarely rendered silent. His brow furrowed, staring off into space intently. “I don’t fuckin’ know. I mean, he didn’t kill me in exile. I wasn’t locked up. I don’t know what the fucking alternative would be that isn’t worse.”

“God, Tommy. Fair doesn’t always mean punishment. I meant like, you know what would’ve been fair? Rebuilding George’s house, replacing his stuff,” Puffy hoped she didn’t sound accusatory.

“But… But I didn’t get a say in that, did I?” Tommy remains defensive.

“No. You know what,” Puffy frowned, thinking for a moment. “I don’t really remember George having much of a say in it either, he told everyone what happened, but Dream was the only one pushing for there to be consequences.”

“...Yeah? And?”

“Well, Dream didn’t have the right. I guess he was defending King George at the time, but it wasn’t his problem. He stuck his nose in.”

“Yeah, ‘cause he wanted to get to me, I already knew that bit.”

“Yeah. It wasn’t about what you did, Tommy. Dream was looking for an excuse,” Puffy tried to read some understanding from his expression, but he still wasn’t looking her in the eye. “Okay, so, do you think you can trust me on this one? That what happened to you was unfair and not your fault?”

Tommy nodded, staring around her office. It’s small and he does hate the granite, but he doesn’t feel trapped. His chair is closest to the door and he can see through the window behind Puffy. It’s warm, the sun coming in through the glass. It wasn’t very obvious from how he was acting, but he was trying really hard not to shut down or close himself off.

“I would’ve fixed George’s house. If he’d asked,” Tommy sounds a little hoarse now. The silence presses in on him, but Puffy offers no judgement, she gives him time. Maybe he agreed to go to Puffy because she is so distant from all of this. She wasn’t there for the first war and she stayed away from the fallout, but now here she was, offering help. Tommy couldn’t bring himself to regret coming here. Not yet.

“W-What do you know about–” Tommy took a deep breath. Words shouldn’t be this hard. “About exile?”

Puffy hesitated. She didn’t want to lie to Tommy, but she didn’t know where the truth would lead. After everything, Tommy deserved some sincerity. “Well, I heard in passing from Sam that what Dream did to you was awful. That’s just about all I know, Tommy.”

As she had expected, Tommy tensed, sitting up. “Sam told you that, did he? What does he know?” Now he’s making eye contact, and it’s looking for a fight.

“Dream told him.”

That did nothing to get Tommy to calm, he got to his feet, looking like he was debating heading out the door. “Right, then, so- they’re all buddies then, are they? Chatting away about all that– all that bullshit and he never fuckin’ told me– Hearing that stuff from Dream of all people–”

“Tommy, please, just let me finish,” Puffy interjected this once. “Just sit down and let me explain and if you want to leave, I won’t try and stop you.”

Tommy’s jaw remained tense, but he sat back down.

“Sam and I went to talk to Bad and Ant. The eggpire had… bad intentions towards you from the start and Sam defended you. Said they should let you just stay out of it because… because Dream had told him about exile and you didn’t deserve any more hurt after that.”

Tommy didn’t have a retort to this one, seeming genuinely surprised, but no less hurt. “Then… then why didn’t he…” It was like that defensiveness drained out of him and he was just an exhausted, scared kid who didn’t know what to do with any of this. Puffy could see he was digging his nails into his palms. She wondered if that hurt. Tommy tried to force himself to relax, hands straightened out and instead fidgeting with the green neckerchief he wore.

“I know Sam let you down, and I would never expect you to just move past that, but he wanted you to be safe,” Puffy says it almost like an apology. “He doesn’t expect your forgiveness, but… he never wanted this for you.”

That wall Tommy put up returned, his expression hardened. “Good to know,” he said dryly. “Fucking worthless, but good to know he didn’t want Dream t-to start hitting me, a-and beating the shit out of me until… until he–” It was like the words got caught in his throat, he cut himself off sharply, shaking his head. “Y’know talking about exile doesn’t seem so bad now,” he forced an uncomfortable laugh.

Puffy waited a moment, let that harsh tension settle slightly. “Okay, then where do you want to start?” Keeping things open ended was easiest for now. She would ask questions as needed, but she wasn’t going to back him into a corner.

“So… you really don’t know what happened? Besides it was ‘awful’ like Sam said?” Tommy actually seemed surprised.

“No. I’ve got no idea. I don’t think anyone knows, Tommy. Most of us didn’t even know where you were,” Puffy offered. She had a feeling that those he had reconnected with had been too careful with him. They hadn’t told him how alone he had truly been out of fear of doing more harm. Puffy could see that Tommy was perhaps too aware of how alone he’d been, worse, his suspicion made her think that he’d feared it was deliberate.

“Well, uh. I dunno where to start,” Tommy still seemed reluctant, but he kept going nonetheless. “Ghostbur was there some. Especially at first and that… it helped and hurt. I guess. ‘Cause I was exiled with Wil again, only it wasn’t really Wil… Just… an echo, y’know, just part of him, and sometimes felt like barely even that. Better than,” Tommy grimaced. “Better than what followed, I guess.”

“You don’t have to talk about what happened to you, Tommy. But there’s a reason people do talk about the bad stuff. It’s because usually we feel a little lighter after,” Puffer explained gently.

“Oh, and you’d know about that, would you?” Cold, defensive again.

“Well, not as much as I’d like, actually,” she responded with her own sarcasm. “I don’t remember enough to talk about the bad, but what I do remember…” She switched to sincerity, even as that seemed to catch him off guard, “yeah, Tommy. I do. I talk to my friends about it and I ask for help. Kinda like what you’re doing now.”

Tommy nodded, mulling it over. “H-He took my stuff a lot. You were there, you helped get me and Tubbo out, and when I… When I told Dream to put his stuff in the hole, I didn’t do that for no good reason. It was… It was justice. I guess. But I didn’t blow it all up, I gave it to Tubbo. Dream… he, I guess he didn’t take my shitty iron armor, he just… blew it up in front of me.”

Puffy knew it wasn’t productive, but she couldn’t help but ask with more than a little distaste, “why? What could he possibly gain from that?”

“Uh, other than having me scared shitless and have nothing to protect myself, I dunno,” he said sarcastically. For all his aversion to talking about it, Tommy seemed quite self aware in theory, it was more accepting that in practice that Tommy struggled with.

“Right, point taken.”

“I know in theory, him taking stuff shouldn’t have fucked me up like it did, but it got bad. I was totally alone out there and I just… Every time he did it everything got harder. I got roughed up more, and not just from him, it was the mobs too, and I was constantly running scared unless he was there to protect me so all the sudden I was feeling fuckin’ grateful to him when he turned up, ‘cause at least if I did what he asked he wouldn’t hit me, the mobs didn’t care if I didn’t have gear they’d hit me regardless, and like, I don’t wanna say Dream could be reasoned with, ‘cause I don’t really think that’s true anymore, but if I made sure the game was still fun for him, which meant fuckin’ cowering and letting him get to be in charge of me– letting him, like I had any fucking say– then… Well, I guess the hitting and the threatening to kill me part happened less, but the… the mocking and the toying with me and being way too fucking happy when I got frustrated and exhausted… that never stopped. But he was nice sometimes, too, kind of? I think?” Tommy’s brow furrowed more intently. He looked painfully confused. “He gave me armor sometimes, and supplies. And he stuck around. Even when Ghostbur disappeared. He’d talk to me. And I was good by then too! I was!” he said it like he was trying to convince her, like that was the only way to earn her empathy, like if he’d still been unruly Puffy might say he deserved it. “I always had my stuff ready when he showed up and- and once we got that bit over with, he was damn near helpful.” He trailed off, that worried confusion replacing his earnestness, “but… that can’t be right… he said he was my friend, but he hurt me too, so how was he helping me? But he was, he was helping me… I dunno. Whenever I think about exile too much it’s like my brain goes all fuzzy. Like his fucking programming wakes back up again.”

Puffy needed a moment. There was so much to unpack about… all of that new information, but Puffy knew that the wrong reaction meant Tommy would shut down. She knew what Dream had become, she’d seen the aftermath, at least. Hearing it was another matter entirely. She had to separate herself from all of this. Tommy was the priority here, she could sort herself out later.

“I’m sure you’re sick of hearing it by now, but I am so sorry, Tommy. You didn’t deserve what happened to you and I wish it hadn’t happened.”

Tommy looked unsettled, like Puffy had just pointed out something uncomfortable. “No. Uh. I don’t think anyone’s really said that to me.”

“Oh.”

“I mean, they’ve been concerned, I think, but… no one’s ever said it like that.” Tommy seemed so wary, like her concern was a rare thing and not to be trusted.

“I’m not gonna pressure you to talk about… what happened more recently, but how are you? How’re you doing right now?” She wasn’t sure what answer she expected. She knew this part wouldn’t be easier than him talking about exile, but she couldn’t do anything to change the past. Maybe she could help him be okay now.

Tommy scowled. “Good question, Puffy. How do you think I’m doing?” He was patronizing and rude, but Puffy knew it was a front. She wouldn’t hold it against him, but she wasn’t going to let him worm his way out of the question.

“Why don’t you tell me?”

Tommy’s mocking facade faded into something almost like guilt, like her neutral tone, her refusal to get angry, was too many unknown variables for him. His voice softened into something so unlike him. “I mean… stuff set me off before all this, but I could avoid it pretty well. I just needed to keep my armor on me and stay away from explosions and keep busy and make sure no one got me alone again,” he listed it off like those requirements were somehow easy. Tommy stared at the ground, thinking it over. “Now though… I can’t avoid it. It’s– It’s pain. Pain is what gets me all panicked. I take any damage a-and it’s like a fuckin’ shock. I end up cowering. I… I went to the nether once with Ranboo and Tubbo and it was just too much. I wasn’t defenseless, but whenever I got hit it was like I couldn’t move. Like… like I was… like I there again,” was the only way he could describe it. Tommy scrunched up his face, rubbing his eyes quickly. “I’m fine,” he snapped defensively.

“I didn’t say anything,” Puffy shrugged. She stared out the window as Tommy was quick to compose himself. Puffy wanted to tell him it was okay to cry, especially about something like this. She had a feeling he wouldn’t take too kindly to that, that implication of weakness. “Did they help?”

“What?”

“Did Ranboo and Tubbo help? Did they make you feel any better?”

“Ranboo kept the mobs away until we could go back to the overworld. But… But that’s bullshit. I can’t expect other people to make sure I never feel pain again,” Tommy scoffed.

“You can ask for help. Needing help isn’t a bad thing. That’s just how people are.”

“Yeah but if I keep needing help, I’m fucked, aren’t I?” Tommy muttered. “I’m just gonna end up staying in my hotel forever and have a fuckin’... a fuckin’ breakdown every time I sneeze too hard.”

“And where are your friends in this scenario?” Puffy asked dryly.

Tommy only looked more brooding at this. “What friends? Tubbo? Probably taking care of his family way over in Snowchester… Even if I go through his fuckin’ tunnel, if I scrape my knees I won’t be able to get back up…” He shuddered. “Or I’ll end up drowning again…”

“You think Tubbo wouldn’t visit you?”

“Did you not hear the part about his family?” Tommy said bitterly, sharp and mocking instead of weak.

Puffy didn’t want to overstep, or to tell Tommy how he should perceive things, but she had to say it. “You’re his family too.”

Tommy’s lip trembled and he scrunched up his face against tears that rose far too easily now. It was clear she’d struck a nerve. Puffy waited for him to catch his breath enough to speak. “Then… then why didn’t he come and get me?” His voice broke but he didn’t hide it or try and brush past it, he was too desperate for answers for that.

Puffy's heart wouldn't stop breaking for these kids. Someone should've protected them long before now. “I think you’ll have to ask him that yourself. But you know that Tubbo would never hurt you deliberately. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, but I feel like that makes a difference.”

“Everyone I love has let me down, so why do I still love them?” It’s like he’s pleading with her for an easy answer, some way to get out of the pain of living as himself. And now he knew dying wasn’t a way out either, in more ways than one. He was stuck with his misery and this awful truth that loving someone doesn’t stop them from hurting him.

Puffy felt an ache in her chest. She didn’t have an answer. “Maybe because they love you back? And that doesn’t mean you have to just let go of the hurting part, but maybe it’s worth trying to focus on the loving part?”

Tommy accepted this reluctantly. “You’re being honest with me.” It wasn’t a question, merely an observation of fact.

“I’m trying to be, yeah.”

“Guess I… Guess I should do the same, then,” Tommy’s grim expression made it seem like he really didn’t want to proceed, he did anyway, each word slow and deliberate. “I don’t think… that I can be fixed.” He glanced back up to Puffy with raised eyebrows, inviting a response. Puffy had none to give. “Right? I mean, no matter what I do, something ends up dragging me back. And now it’s… It’s so bad I can barely function without feeling fucking terrified. And I mean, maybe Dream said it best. I can never get out of this because I still have to be his hero.” Tommy’s nose crinkled in disgust. “E-Even dying wasn’t a way out… for a lot of reasons.” Tommy trailed off for a moment, before shaking his head like it could remove those darker thoughts. “B-But we’re not gonna get into that I mean I barely remember it so don’t ask me about it, okay? ‘Cause I don’t know and I’m not telling.”

Puffy knew he was lying. She wasn’t going to point it out. “Okay. Don’t worry, I prefer a mystery.” He smiled weakly at that. “I won’t pretend you don’t have bad luck, because shit you’ve had the worst luck, but you’ve always got back up again. And eventually there will come a time where that bad thing is the last bad thing, and maybe this is it. Dream is still in prison. You’ll never have to go near him again, and you have friends who love you and want to help you.” A pause. “Let’s ignore the weird vines consuming the server. That’s a problem for someone else.”

Tommy didn’t look relieved, he just looked tired. “I dunno. I just… Fuck, it feels so selfish, but why is it always me?”

“Always you..?”

“I kept on thinking, why does Tubbo get to get away from it? Why does Tubbo get to move on but the bad shit keeps on piling on top of me? And maybe it’s ‘cause, Tubbo can get away from it. And… I’m too far gone. I mean, I sought Dream out this last time. That’s my own fault. I said I was gonna visit him for the last time but I didn’t even need to do that. Why is it always me? Well, I guess Dream chose Wilbur first, played with him before he went after me, until it killed him,” Tommy let out a sharp, barking laugh that sounded far too genuine.

Puffy decided to push beyond Tommy's morbid philosophy, the implications of Dream treating Wilbur and now Tommy as a playmate, the fate given to the former and ideally subverted for the latter. Puffy could only try and ground them in something simpler than too many cruel twists of fate. “This… This isn’t cosmic, Tommy. Dream is just a person. A bad person who should’ve never been let near you, but just a person. He isn’t a god and he is responsible for his own actions, not some universal force with a vendetta against you. The world doesn’t want to hurt you. It doesn’t want anything from you. And… I know your sense of safety is probably more than a little damaged when… in the prison… That was supposed to be safe. And I am so sorry it wasn’t, but even that isn’t some force of fate or nature. It was Sam being scared and ignorant. What I’m trying to say here, is there is no actual reason for you to not be okay. The future is still open.”

“Doesn’t feel that way. And the past won’t leave me the fuck alone.”

“Exile, you mean.”

“Well, exile is why Dream fucked me up so bad. That’s why I wanted to get closure or whatever bullshit when I visited him last time,” Tommy scoffed. “Didn’t get that, now, did I?”

“And… What did you get? From exile, from that visit, from all of this?”

“What, like, what lesson did I learn or whatever the fuck?”

“That wasn’t quite what I was going for, but however you wanna answer.”

Tommy took a moment to think, expression grim and sour. There was anger there, sure, but more bitter exhaustion than anything. “I learned that no one is gonna rescue me. I’ve got to do that myself. I’ve learned that surviving matters more than anything else, until it doesn’t. And you can’t let anyone have power over you because they’re gonna use it to hurt. And maybe I learned that I am strong, that I can fight back even when things get bad, but I also know that none of that matters, because I still get hurt anyway. And at this point, I don’t think there’s any way out of this. I’m stuck like this now, I’m not dead anymore but I’m still in fucking limbo, scared and not a person I recognize anymore.”

Puffy nodded to show she’d heard him, but she was doing some thinking of her own. “First off, I wasn’t looking for some moral you’d learned from suffering, ‘cause this wasn’t a lesson. Sometimes hurt is just hurt. And second of all, you saying you can’t be fixed implies you’re broken. In my experience, people can’t be broken, Tommy. They can be hurt and hurting, but people don’t break.. You don’t have to agree, but I stand by that. Wholly and completely. Bad things happen to us but those things don’t alter who we are, they’re a… a bad addition. But helping us heal from that isn’t fixing us, it’s us growing stronger until that bad addition is unimportant.”

Tommy looked like he didn’t want to believe her, like thinking he’s something shattered beyond repair is easier than confronting the hard road ahead. “Okay. Do you not think… I know you didn’t know him, but Wilbur was broken. In the end.” Tommy seemed to know Puffy could not provide a counter to someone she didn’t know. So he added something from someone she did. “And whatever… whatever Dream is or has become, that’s whole to you? You think being in that cell hasn’t fucked him in the head even worse? Trust me… he… he definitely wasn’t right that week,” he talked about it like a distant memory, like that week was far behind him but still fresh and burning.

“I wasn’t here for Wilbur, sure, but I’ll give you my best guess from what I’ve been told. Wilbur was hurting and unwell and not fully himself, but he wasn’t broken. And if you’re convinced that people can be broken, that you are broken, then I’d argue no one is beyond repair, Tommy. You’re still here, aren’t you? The world is still here, even if it’s not the same, so why can’t you find something good in it again? I’m not gonna give you some bullshit that you’re actually lucky because you have people who love you and you’re still alive and others have it worse, because I know that’s bullshit. None of that changes how you feel or what you’ve been through, but there is potential. Not just in the future but in yourself as well. You are one of the strongest and bravest people I’ve known since coming here. And I am so sorry that you had to be that way to even make it this far, but it also makes me feel that, without a doubt, you can be okay.”

Tommy seemed overwhelmed by all of that, scared and tired and frustrated that Puffy wouldn’t let him just sit in his misery. “You don’t know… You don’t know anything about me, about what happened in exile, about how bad it got… don’t– don’t tell me that I’m strong or brave or whatever the fuck when I know none of that was enough. None of it was enough. I almost– I still–” Tommy stopped, jaw tense as he refused to speak.

“Whatever it is, Tommy. I won’t judge. I’m just here to listen and help where I can. And please don’t think I will change how I think of you because of what Dream chose to do. His choices are his own and they don’t reflect badly on you in any way, no matter what he did or made you do or whatever it is, that’s what happened to you, not what you are,” Puffy tried to encourage him to continue without pushing. It was clear this was something he really hadn’t planned on sharing.

“Fine, Puffy– Fine. It wasn’t what Dream did. It was what I was gonna do, alright? You wanna hear about this?” It was a challenge and an accusation, one Puffy had no reply to. Tommy pushed further. “I was gonna kill myself. Is that what you want to hear? That I was the one who was gonna end it, not Dream. I was the one who damn near gave up. Don’t– Don’t give me that shit that that’s all Dream’s fault. He wasn’t gonna kill me. Not back then at least. Is that brave enough for you, Puffy? Dream blew up my camp and said he wasn’t gonna visit me as often and that was enough that I- I built a tower, and I… I…” Tommy shut up sharply with a shaky inhale.

“Fucking hell, Tommy,” Puffy didn’t care about professionalism, this was brutal. “You’re holding this against yourself? You, almost getting pushed to suicide? Like that– Like that somehow reflects badly on you instead of being a clear sign you needed help?! This isn’t a reflection on your character. Are you kidding? This is just horrible because you didn’t get the help you needed.”

“Yeah. I mean, no one’s helped me. I’ve always had to help myself. And the people who’ve tried either ended up fucking up bad enough to hurt me or at least enough that I know I can’t rely on them.”

“Even Tubbo?”

Tommy gave her a scathing look. “Yeah, even Tubbo. I’m not saying it’s his fault, but when push came to shove, he exiled me. He couldn’t beat Dream. He couldn’t protect me and apparently I couldn’t protect him either.”

“And… you don’t think trying counts for anything?”

“Trying didn’t stop Wilbur blowing up L’Manberg.” Tommy was utterly unforgiving and perhaps he had every right to be. “It didn’t stop me getting exiled. Trying didn’t get me off that tower, I did that. Trying didn’t get me to sort myself out and stop fighting Tubbo, it didn’t stop doomsday, it didn’t beat Dream, and trying definitely didn’t fucking stop Dream from– from hitting me. And not stopping. As if Sam even tried…” Tommy stared at her, waiting for her to defend her friend, scold him and argue Sam’s good intentions.

Puffy knew better than that. While true that Sam had had good intentions, that he had been desperate and foolish and was now haunted by the consequences of his choices, she didn’t think Tommy needed to hear any of that. “Maybe you’re right. I guess the thing about good intentions isn’t that they always work out, but more that if they try to help now they’ll try and help later. And maybe next time they won’t fail.”

“What, I’m supposed to trust in next time, then?” Tommy muttered gloomily.

“You know, I think we have different understandings of trust. Trust is not and has never been a guarantee. I think you know that better than most. Trust is just the promise to try and to keep trying. To not give up on each other. You said before, you didn’t understand why you still love people who have hurt you– intentional or not. Have you ever thought maybe that’s because you haven’t given up on them? And they haven’t given up on you either?”

Tommy stared at her, his own words echoing far too loudly, we can't give up on him. Maybe once Tommy had looked back on that and thought it naive, to think that Wilbur could still be saved. Was it easier to pretend he'd never had a chance than confront the fact that he'd failed to save his brother? Tommy was exhausted. Maybe this had helped, but he was too worn down and scared of where this conversation might lead if they continued. “Puffy, I don’t know if this is helping me at all.”

“Is that just because it’s easier to think you’re beyond help?”

Tommy looked stuck. Puffy was quite good and blunt truths he could do nothing to ignore. “I… I don’t know. The more I talk about it I feel like the more it scares me.”

“Or maybe it already does scare you, and now you might actually have to face that instead of bury it.”

Tommy nodded slowly. He wanted out of there, but he felt... different. He didn't know if he could pin it down as better, but different. “Fine. Let’s say you’re right, what now? Can we… can we stop soon? For today? This is just… It’s hard. Harder than I thought it’d be.”

“Sure, Tommy,” Puffy softened. Tommy, for all his sharp edges, seemed genuine. “Do you think you’ll come back?”

“You still think you can help me?”

“Yeah, I really do.”

Tommy actually smiled at this. “Didn’t think you would. Huh. But like, what do I do now? Until we meet next?” Tommy, always looking for instruction, like every problem could be solved by the right bold move or set of tasks.

“Spend time with Tubbo. Ask for help when you need it. If that scares you try and ask for help just once, I promise your friends won’t hate you for it. And if you need anything, Tommy, anything, you know where I live.”

“Right,” Tommy nodded, getting to his feet. “Thanks, Puffy. For putting up with all this and…”

“Hey, I’m not putting up with anything. I’m happy to help. And I’m really proud of you. Reaching out, asking me for help, that’s a really hard thing to do. Do you want me to plan our next meeting or can you do that?”

Tommy looked lighter now, just from those few words, I’m really proud of you. “Could you… No. No, I can do it. I’ll let you know when I can come back,” he nodded like that settled the matter.

“Awesome. I’ll see you later then,” she walked him out, Tommy taking off down the prime path a little more determined than when he had arrived.

Puffy wished she could feel at ease. Tommy had clearly been overwhelmed by the end of the session and he didn’t seem all that enthused by the difficult task of unpacking his trauma, but he’d stuck it out a lot longer than she’d thought he would. And he was willing to come back. It was progress, however small.

Puffy could be grateful for that fact, but the emotional toil of this day was not yet over. She had a prison visit to get to.

[moxfirefly]

Hi, I love ur blog and the way u write sooo .Can I have a Bloody Kiss, with reader and Raphael, were the reader is a serial killer otta business bc she fell in love with him, tho he never knew that,. And just one day she finds Raph an Mickey fighting against some foot soldiers and at a certain point she notice Mickey is cornerd and she decide to intervein, tho she loses it a bit and end up killing all the soldiers. ( BTW the story ends up well, I mena they accept what she did and have done and Raph actually finds it a turn on? ) ( hope this is not 2 much).

Okay I’m digging this but gonna take a few liberties here and there. Hopefully the few modifications are liked.

TW: Blood, Violence, Fighting, Depictions of death

Rated Explicit (18+)

“If I told her that I loved you

You'd maybe think there's something wrong

I'm not a man of too many faces

The mask I wear is one”

Peace.

That was the main feeling.

Finding peace along the way had not been easy. Often it felt like an impossibly fruitless endeavor. You’d die doing what you did, either get killed by one of your hits or subcomb to ailment along the way.

Being a Murder-for-Hire had its perks as morbid as it sounded. You felt like you were living out that one movie with Natalie Portman. You’d seen it, scoffed at how unrealistic it was, especially the tender parts.

You didn’t know what tender was.

That is until you came across Raphael.

The game changed there, this current lifestyle would simply not suffice. Why did he have to go ahead and show you that there was more to this life? Why did he have to go and show you what lay beneath his rough around the edges persona?

You went M.I.A soon after that. You opted for peace in your soul even if your mind did not inhabit it at times. Life with Raphael had been challenging but there was two things you were certain of, one: you were stupidly enough, two: if anybody were to hurt him in any way there would be so much hell to pay.

So this was retirement, yes?

Well you wished it had remained as so. Unfortunately life has a way of testing one, even the secrets you wish to bury so far beneath that they seem dead just happen to resurrect themselves. It happens one night, without thought, without hesitation.

Raphael and Michelangelo are in trouble. You hear the messages from Donnie’s hub while you’re at the Lair, the fear in Mikey’s voice makes your skin breakout in goosebumps. There was no way Leo and Donnie would make it there on time for backup.

You didn’t hesitate.

You took off.

The docks are scary at night but it doesn’t phase you, your adrenaline is pumping already and the sounds of fighting only make your blood pump faste. You briefly contemplate your choices, what way to go about this that perhaps leaves you hidden.

Then you hear Mikey scream. You can only describe it as autopilot. Your feet moved you, yours hands acted and before you can make sense of whatever it is you saw that triggered this mess, you’re looking at bloodied hands.

In truth, what you had found before you was Mikey out numbered by dozen of Foot soldiers and Raph trying to dispose of two larger mutants. Upon your attack they figured the mission had gone south and bailed much to the chagrin of the Foot. Mikey was barely standing, coughing up blood from the beating he had been trying to withstand for Raphael’s sake. Raph in turn wasn’t look much good either, a bloodshot eye, a limp and so much blood you didn’t know if it belonged to him or the others.

Raph approached slowly, seeing a new hooded figure. Friend or foe? He figured the latter, already making for his sai he only stopped dead in his tracks when you pushed your hood away. The combat knife was covered in blood and chunks of flesh, you were sure the same picture of death was painted on you.

“Y-Y/n?” There was disbelief, questions and even a slight relief to his voice. Mikey’s own shocked gaze landed on you from where he was seated, panting from the fight. Where could you even begin? Would he understand? Would he comprehend your past?

You took a step, caution in your frame as you hoped to approach him and hold him.

Out of his eyesight you saw one of the soldiers stir and slowly rise. He had a perfect shot towards Raphael, he wouldn’t see it coming, much less with his current distraction.

“Raph!” You took off towards him just as the soldier lunged. The clatter of bodies connecting, weapons falling assaulting your ears. You rolled around with the soldier, finding your knife and quickly digging it into the bastards chest. A fatal hit. The killing blow.

But anger shook you, it somehow always found it’s ugly little head when it came to you.

So you stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

Until your vision cleared, until the notion of Raphael being gone or Mikey being gone left you. You stood on shakey legs, turning towards Raph who was still frozen on the spot.

It’s for you

“They... I had to, they would’ve killed you both” You looked at your bloodied shoes, crimson staining your jeans and a quiet fear that Raphael would probably not understand this.

You only registered Raph’s large hands on your face because they moved you upwards just as he came down, lips first on yours.

You tasted blood, his for sure because the cut on the inside of his mouth bleed steadily, staining your lips and chin. He kissed you with a fever that only spoke of his own fear that maybe this wouldn’t be happening. If you hadn’t come, if you hadn’t saved him, he wouldn’t be trying to kiss straight into your soul via your mouth.

You felt like your were backwards, coming out into life the wrong way but with Raph, and his impossibly green eyes and scarred lips, there was no reason to linger on it. The past could remain but it didn’t mean it had to breath.

He pulled back, thumb rubbing your chin of spittle and blood. There was no judgement there, concern yes.

That night when everyone was home safe and tended to, you found yourself in his bed hair wet from your shower. “Hey there” Came Raphael’s soft voice from the door, you scanned him. He was freshly showered and bandaged as he entered and sat on the bed. You climbed into his lap, curling yourself around him and the cool of scales around you.

“It’s not me anymore...” Your voice felt small.

“It’s okay baby girl” He held you close.

“I had to... I had to be like that once upon a time, to survive but then I met you and I just wanted to start from zero with you, wanted to make it right this time” You felt your eyes well up with tears but Raphael’s gentle rocking only served to make you sleepy.

For now, sleep prevailed but thankfully against his hard plastron.

[imagine-darksiders]

I hope you feel better soon! When you're feeling better would you be able to write something about jealous Strife? That ask made me curious

“Do you really have to go?”

From your seat at the vanity, you heave an exasperated sigh and set down your lipstick, swivelling around in the chair to face the Horseman who stands sulking at your bedroom door.

“Strife,” you begin patiently, “I'm afraid my answer still hasn't changed since you asked me ten minutes ago.”

“Yeah, I know. It's just -” Averting his gaze, he crosses his arms and grumbles, “I thought we were gonna hang out tonight.”

“And I told you two weeks ago that I wouldn't be around tonight.”

You can't see his expression, hidden as it is behind the silver helm he wears, but you're fairly confident in guessing that there's a pout on his lips.

“And besides,” you add, “We hang out all the time. You practically live here. Hell, you've already turned my spare bedroom into your own personal den.”

'Den' is an understatement. Your spare room is now less of a bedroom more of an Earth museum, filled from floor to ceiling with all of the things that Strife has picked up simply because they took his fancy. For the most part, it's all junk. There's an obsolete gaming console that no longer works, a skateboard, a horse figurine made of glass, no less than three Nerf guns and not a foam dart between them...

Honestly, you're loathe to tell him to get rid of any of it, though you fear you might have to soon if you don't want the mess spilling out into the rest of your house.

Giving your head an exasperated shake, you check the time on your phone and stand up, throwing your bag over a shoulder. “Listen, it's just one evening with an old friend who I haven't seen since before the apocalypse. We can hang out tomorrow, I promise. But now, I really need to dash, he'll be here to pick me up any minute.”

Pausing to stuff your phone into the pocket of your trousers, you head towards the door, hardly noticing that the Horseman is still standing in front of it with his arms folded neatly across a broad, armoured chest. It's only because you glance up right at the last second that you manage to avoid a painful collision. “Um...Strife?” you ask, halting in your tracks, “... Move?”

In response, he simply leans back against your door and begins to inspect the claws on one of his gauntlets. “Nah... I'd rather hear about this friend of yours. You've never mentioned him.” Pausing, he shoots you a sly smirk that you can sense more than see, his golden eyes flashing, “You guys close?”

With a roll of your eyes, you mimic his posture, crossing your arms and giving him a glare that would make Death proud. “Strife, what's gotten into you? I just said I'm going to be late for my friend.”

“Yeah, I get that,” he returns coolly, “Just wanna know that my friend isn't walking into a trap.”

“Oh wow – a trap? Really? Of all the-” You cut yourself off and raise a hand, massaging at your temple. “Okay. Now you're just being ridiculous. It's not a trap.”

“Why don't you let me come with you, just in case?”

“Because!” you cry, throwing your arms up, “It'll be awkward! You remember what I taught you about third-wheeling?”

He remembers it well, in fact. Just like he remembers everything you teach him, committing the moments to memories that he'll carry with him until the day he snuffs it. He only has you for less than a hundred years, after all, and he's determined to remember every last bit of it. The Universe must have thought itself pretty hilarious when it placed you in his life. Of all the creatures in all the realms, the one he ends up caring about most just so happens to be the one with the shortest lifespan. It makes him want to hunt down the Creator and shoot a hole where a heart might be.

Shoving down his contempt for the omnipotent bastard, Strife returns his attention to you and lifts his shoulders in a shrug. “I don't mind tagging along. You know, just in case I have to watch your back.”

Your response hits him harder than a crack from Fury's whip. “I don't need you to watch my back every second of every day! Stop being so paranoid.”

The Horseman is too proud and obstinate to ever let the stab of hurt show in his eyes, but he can't ignore its presence in his chest.

He is not being paranoid... He's being a good friend - watching your back, looking out for you, all the things a friend is supposed to do. Not that he's had much experience being friends with a human. Or anyone, for that matter, who isn't a horse or his siblings. It's been a learning curve for both of you, though more-so for him, and so far, the most prominent challenge he's faced is balancing the line between being a friend and being an overprotective nuisance.

It perhaps hasn't helped that, ever since humanity was resurrected, the pair of you have been nigh inseparable. He's grown used to your presence – is dependant upon in, according to Death; a fact that Strife had vehemently tried to deny, at least until he learned that you'd made plans. Plans with someone else. Plans that didn't involve him.

It was only once he'd taken some time to reflect and found that he had indeed been glued to your side for months, that he realised the awful truth.

His older brother was right, after all. The smug ass.

A shudder rolls over the Horseman's body and he blinks, realising that in the few seconds he's been lost in thought, you've managed to reach around him to push open your bedroom door.

“Hey!” he complains as you all but shove past, and he – being the soft-touch that he is – simply allows himself to be moved aside. Grumbling, he follows you across the landing and down your sweeping staircase until you reach the front door and stop beside it.

From outside, the thunderous roar of an approaching, automobile's engine thrums in his ears.

“That's him!” you chirp, and Strife hates the way your face lights up at the mention of whoever 'he' is.

Throwing open your door, you head outside and try to pull it shut behind you, yet find your efforts abruptly halted by the Horseman sticking close to your heels. He ducks through the low doorframe and moves to stand beside you, his viciously keen gaze raking over the vehicle that idles at the end of your driveway.

By his own admission, Strife has always had a weakness for those 'motor bikes' the humans like to ride, with their shiny gaskets and noisy engines. But this one – the one upon whom sits a tall, lanky human – Strife does not care for.

“Anton!” you call out, flying down the driveway, splaying your arms out wide in anticipation of a hug.

'Anton' laughs brightly and kicks down the bike's stand as he leaps from the seat, his own arms only just opening in time to receive you when you crash into him with a whoop of delight.

As soon as those long, stringy arms wrap around your shoulders, the Horseman's hackles raise like a feral beast's and the sudden presence of Anarchy begins to claw at the confines of his ribcage. For a few moments, he wrestles with himself, weighing the pros and cons of letting his most primal form take over for a while, but after envisioning the disapproving frown that's sure to adorn your face should he pull such a stunt, he bitterly shoves a reluctant Anarchy back down and settles upon prowling down the gravel drive after you, glaring hard at the stranger the entire way. Admittedly, he is a little surprised at himself for the animosity. On the whole, he's always maintained a good rapport with other humans. He likes the species, a lot. So to suddenly be filled with such a strong disliking for this particular human strikes him as odd and out of character.

Then, Anton's hands slide down to your lower back and another bout of indignant fury flares up in the Horseman's belly. After what he thinks is, quite frankly, an obscene amount of time, the stranger releases you, holding onto your shoulders and leaning back to get a better look at your face.

“God, it's good to see you, Y/n,” he drawls, eyeing you from head to toe in a way that makes the Horseman's skin crawl, “I can't believe it! You've changed so much!”

Grinning shyly up at him, you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and reply, “Hopefully for the better?”

His own smile widens. “You were always at your best, even before the apocalypse. Still, being Humanity's Hero seems to be really suiting you, huh?”

At once, your expression falls and you pull a face, extracting yourself from his grasp. “Oh god, don't call me that. I've told the media till I'm blue in the face - the Horsemen are the ones who deserve to be called heroes. Oh, speaking of whom...” You turn to face the looming presence at your side and gesture up to Strife. “I'd like to introduce you to a friend of mine.”

Anton's gaze leaves you long enough to flick over towards the Horseman and you watch as he does a very comical double-take, his eyes bulging for a moment before he manages to compose himself again and lifts his hand in greeting. “Hey! You must be one of those Horseman guys. Death, right?”

Noticing that the Nephilim's hands curl suddenly into tight fists, you interject, “Uh, actually, this is Strife, Tones.”

“Tones?” He really does try to keep the disdain from his voice when he switches his burning, golden glare between you and the other human. “I thought you said his name was Anton?”

How many other friends do you have?

“It's a nickname, Strife,” you reassure him quickly, “This is Anton.”

A nickname... Of course. The Horseman's stomach twists itself into a knot and he can't stop himself from blurting out, “How come you've never given me a nickname?”

The human concept surrounding abbreviated names was a fairly easy one for him to grasp when he first learned of them. They're terms of endearment, meant to signify familiarity and friendship.

He's your friend. He's familiar. Why doesn't he have a nickname too?

"Ugh, I'm sorry. We'll brainstorm nicknames when I get back," you huff, "But the restaurant will give our table away if we don't hurry. So -"

Turning to usher Anton onto the bike, you hardly manage to take one step before a large, metal hand is sliding around your forearm and tugging you gently to a halt. Biting back a groan, you glance over your shoulder, ready to scold him, but one look at his slouched stance and averted gaze stops you in your tracks.

"Uh. Hey, Tones?" you call, never taking your eyes off the Horseman's mask, "Can you give us a sec?"

The human behind you is careful to check that Strife isn't looking when he rolls his eyes and grunts in acknowledgement before he turns and saunters over to his bike, leaning up against it and pulling out his phone.

Once Anton has turned his attention elsewhere, you raise a brow at the Horseman and wait, patient, expectant. After working his jaw for a moment or two, he finally looks at you properly and tightens his grip on your arm, not until it's painful, but enough that you understand what he's trying to convey in the gesture.

He really doesn't want you to go.

"Strife?" you prod.

Reluctantly, he lets out a rough exhale.

Although he's far better at it than his siblings, watching Strife try to openly express emotion isn't unlike watching someone pull their own teeth out with a pair of pliers. The process is slow, and it's best to sit back and listen to him rather than try to encourage him to speak. So, that's what you do, and eventually, your patience is rewarded when after another few seconds of silence, he offers a strained chuckle and says, "This guy isn't my replacement, is he? I know the bike is cool, and all, but..."

"Your replacement?" you laugh, incredulous, "Strife. I don't know how it worked with Nephilim, but for humans, having another friend doesn't cancel out any existing ones."

He knows that. He's not some whelp who never learned how to share. Frustrated with himself, the Horseman huffs and turns his head to the side, glaring hard at nothing in particular.

"Hey..." An old habit kicks in, and before you can stop yourself, you reach up to trace your fingertips along the underside of Strife's helm, tipping it back towards you and smiling at the bewildered look in his yellow eyes. Confident that he's paying proper attention, you pull your hand away again and state, "I could search the whole universe from top to bottom for the next hundred, thousand years, and I'd never find a friend who could replace you, okay? So stop worrying. Your ranking as 'my best friend' is not under threat."

"M'not worrying," he grumbles, but inside, his heart is aglow with the warmth of your words. At the back of his mind, Anarchy rumbles happily. You said best!... He's your best friend? He tries to recall you ever calling him that before. Then he realises that, no, you can't have done. He wouldn't forget a moment like that. Not in a million years. Just like he won't forget how he feels right now after hearing those two words.

Oblivious to the fate you've just sealed for yourself, you clap your hands together, bringing the conversation to what you hope is an easy conclusion. "Good. In that case, will you please let me go with Anton now?"

The Horseman's mood sours almost immediately, but at least he peels his fingers off your arm.

"Hey, kid?" he address Anton, packing his voice with all the menace and threat that he can muster, "If I find out she gets hurt on your watch, I'll introduce you to a couple'a friends of mine..." His hands fall less-than subtly to his holsters, where the silver handles of Mercy and Redemption glint in the sunlight.

Anton's face pales upon seeing the Horseman's legendary pistols.

"Stop that," you scold him, smacking the back of your hand against the armoured chest plate before turning to your other friend and calling, "Come on, Tones, let's go."

Anton all but throws himself onto his bike, kicking the stand back and jamming his keys into the ignition whilst you climb on behind him, albeit far more gracefully. The man tosses you a helmet and you shove it onto your head.

Strife's eyes remain settled upon your hands that wrap snugly around Anton's waist and it takes everything in him not to grab you, haul you off the bike, drag you back to your home and lock you inside.

“I'll be back late tonight,” you call over the roar of the engine as you begin to pull away, “There's food in the fridge if you want to eat! And my Netflix is still logged in! I'll see you later, okay!?”

Strife doesn't respond, not because he can't think of what to say, but because there would be no point. Anton has already peeled away and pushed the bike to a reckless speed. All the Horseman can do is stand there at the end of your driveway, his shoulders drooping dejectedly.

After you're nothing more than a dot on the far horizon, he tears his eyes off you and lets them fall to the tarmac near his boots.

He never notices you looking back.

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E113 (Oct. 27, 2020)

Good evening and good night, lovely people of the world! We’re on the internet and ready to go. Tonight’s guests are Travis Willingham and Sam Riegel. This will be calm, controlled, and sane, I can feel it. Brian points out it’s been seven months since either of them were on Talks. Oof. (Sam asks if it’s been going the whole time without him. Bigger oof.) Travis keeps sneaking bites out of an acai bowl or something and tries to look sneaky about it, and I laugh every time because he’s just...so big. He’s such a big person.

(Brian is wearing a lobstrosity shirt. He and Travis talk about Dark Tower for a bit; then Sam tries to get into the conversation: “Is that the thing from It?” Brian: “Is what the thing from It?” Sam: “Is that lobster the clown from It? I’m not very literate. Is that a Langolier? Is that a Shawshank?”)

Announcements: none! Maybe they just forgot. We’ve been talking about Sam’s spooky skeleton decorations for like five minutes. Brian suggests taking them to Travis’s house. Travis: “That’s the fastest way to get to the smell of burning plastic.” Brian: “Speaking of your girlfriend...”

On Avantika: Fjord wouldn’t call it a relationship as much as a casual sexual interaction. Not official! Super not official!!

The first sea voyage wasn’t great for Fjord, but he tried to be thoughtful about preparing for this one before they left: praying, kneeling at the bow of the ship, etc. He’s a little disappointed the Wildmother didn’t even throw him a “yo, fam” heads up.

They weren’t sure how to resolve the conflict at first, since Avantika went for Fjord rather than the crystal. No one expected it to get exposed in that way. Travis thought the necklace was a pocket dimension and was alarmed to learn it wasn’t. Travis wants it destroyed along with the third gateway, so until they are he won’t rest easy.

Everyone enjoyed watching them all fail on the battlefield again. (Sam: “You used [Counterspell] so effectively!”) Travis thought he’d said Thunder Step, which would imply Avantika was running, rather than Thunder Wave. Sam says it’s fine since none of them have that spell and he wouldn’t know it anyway.

It’s very difficult for Veth to find reasons to stay with the M9. She loves the adventures and making a difference, but she also wants to come home and have weekends and have a husband and life. “She’s a career girl!” He’s very excited about the possibilities of Caleb’s transportation effectively creating an easy commute for her. He also, as a player, doesn’t want to be the person who’s always leaving the party. “My characters wanna roam!”

Travis was fully tilted that Avantika might have gotten away right before the break. He doesn’t think he could have focused on Vess DeRogna’s task knowing Avantika had gotten away; he was seriously working out how Fjord would leave the party to go make a last stand at the third gate if she’d escaped.

Sam looooves how Matt plays Yeza, but it honestly makes him feel a little worse at how encouraging he is for Veth to chase her dreams. “He’s always like - go shine! Go blossom!” He wants to have the conversation about Yeza feeling a little ignored. It’s fun to share the tales of adventures with Luc & Yeza. 

Travis says there’s no way it’s Molly--it’s all Lucien. They don’t know if it was a resurrection, if he’s undead, possessed, etc. Everyone--everyone--rags on Taliesin’s accent work. Brian surreptitiously claims Ashly was brought on to relieve him of the burden of the accent. Poor Ashly, ha!

Initially, Travis landed on the Oath of the Ancients, but it had more nature & pacifism in it than he felt fit Fjord very well. Many of them also had a focus on good & lawfulness, which also didn’t feel quite right; he also wasn’t that vengeful for some of the others. He & Matt got together and discussed options. Matt asked what Travis liked about Fjord; Fjord’s love for the ocean was a huge part of it, since Travis himself also loves the ocean & scuba diving, and so Matt created a custom oath for him. Travis does not plan to post its details, but he thinks Matt will at some point.

Cosplay of the Week! a lovely Scanlan by Air Bubbles Cosplay! Sam tells us the “canon” Scanlan cosplay was actually borrowed hodgepodge, and the boots were falling off all day.

It was really cool to see how Yeza & Luc have made a home in Nicodranas. Felderwin was okay, but kind of your basic D&D fishing village, and she likes the Nicodranas is much better. She’s confident & comfortable knowing her family is safe and sound.

Why is Fjord so interested in finding Sabian? To him, post-orphanage, his time with Vandren was the best of his life & the most love he’d ever received, because he mattered & had worth. It was taken by someone he’d known basically his whole life, so Fjord is not going to let that go. “That fuckin’ bill needs to be paid, my friend.”

Sam acknowledges that he should NOT have looked at his phone in re: the Vilya reveal, but it was pretty surprising! He can’t believe none of them recognized it! Travis points out the M9 had never met, heard of, or known anything about Vilya, so it’s not that surprising. Brian points out Matt has also done a really good job keeping the two campaigns separate, so any references were tasteful. Sam marvels that it was so well done: it was tasteful, had emotional and story impact... “That Matt. He’s getting better!”

Liam texted Sam back something like “oh SHIT.”

Knowing Veth had a chance to help someone else return to her child made Veth feel almost karmically forgiven for being away from her kid, but it also made Veth a little guilty--”this lady wants to desperately return home, shouldn’t I want to go home too?” Caleb’s teleportation spell couldn’t have come a better time.

Sam wants Caleb & Astrid to get back together (well, he says “hump each other”), and Dani’s eyebrows climb off her forehead. Veth/Nott really thinks Caleb needs to have a roll in ze hay, and feels like after meeting her that there is a kindness or vulnerability to her that could be worthwhile. Travis thinks she feels like someone tethered, that it feels like she has a bomb or something in her chest that’ll explode if she tries to leave. Sam thinks Eadwulf is super cool. None of these names are spelled like I think.

Travis found the dinner super frustrating, because he felt Caleb was trying to walk a diplomatic line and he just wanted to backhand Trent. 

Fjord is still coming to terms with his feelings for Jester, and the feelings are definitely real, but there’s a lot of timing that he’s considering and he also wants to figure out what the relationship is like outside of constant tension and battle. Fjord is also having trouble figuring out how to exercise the ability to display affection as well since he’s never received them, and is feeling out how to give and receive them. “It’s fine now, because he’s feeling it, but once you say it out loud, or once you come to a point where you make it known to the other side, then what happens? It might be ruined. It might be broken. Or it might not be!” The moment with the porcelain unicorn was too good not to try. Travis also sighs that he’s not a romance D&D guy, “but now I am! Fuckin’ Laura Bailey!” He’s definitely feeling it out and will see how it unfolds in the game.

If Jester hadn’t let go of the Traveler, Fjord would have either attacked the Traveler or the Moonweaver and tried to kick them both off.

Sam doesn’t think the Traveler’s realized yet what a dick he is. Brian thinks it may not happen in this campaign, but agrees the full weight of what he deserves hasn’t been felt yet. Travis: “Yeah, he came to the edge, but it didn’t cost him anything.” Brian: “Yeah, he’s a real edgelord.”

Fanart of the Week! a beautiful portrait of Molly in the snow by @claygryphon on twitter.

Veth acknowledges that they work for shady people with shady pasts, so Vess DeRogna isn’t her first rodeo, but this time it’s personal. It’s Jaws 2: Electric Boogaloo. Sam can’t commit to actual actions, since Vess is like level 20 or something, but “I will get some kinda revenge. Be it petty or significant, I will get revenge.”

How are they feeling about being in Eiselcross? They’ve only just landed, so not sure yet. The cold is intimidating. They’re excited to explore a new island that’s part of Wildemount, especially with the river of lava running through it. “It’s icy with lava? Sounds like a Dairy Queen.”

There’s still a ton of unknowns regarding the Tombtakers, Vess, the nature of their job, and who’s here on whose orders. They’re excited to see how it’s all going to play out. Travis laughs that he doesn’t take notes, he’s just here to fight things. It just washes over him when Matt starts talking about names and places. “It’ll reveal itself in time. [...] I don’t write those notes down. I don’t even know how to spell it off the bat.” I have never identified more with Travis. Sam actually does pay attention and take notes and was really impressed by Marisha’s dive.

Veth became interested in branding her own spellcraft as soon as she saw Caleb doing it. “That’s what the influencer agents are gonna be looking at. It would be nice to leave the world better than we found it, but also with some branded spells.”

What were Fjord’s thoughts on dropping so much money on the ring & the Ioun stone? It wasn’t about money for Fjord, it was about a cool thing to acquire. It’s why he saves money in his campaign. Caleb needs “as much of a flak jacket as he can get.” He also REJECTS the idea of buyer’s remorse on the ring and touts the effectiveness it’ll have on the lava river.

Travis talks about his old coins - a 340AD coin he bought at a ren faire and a 120BC coin that was a gift from a friend.

Sam marvels at the love and thought that Caleb put into the tower. Sam points out they forgot to go to the top two floors altogether. Travis: “Did the mansion get as much careful planning from Scanlan as the tower did from Caleb?” Sam: Absolutely not. But they were still thinking small in C1, figuring out how things went, and they didn’t have as much detail in their heads yet.

And that’s all the time we have for tonight! We end on everyone whispering way too close into their mics and tapping fingernails on mason jars. A fitting end to this crazy episode, I think.

Is it Thursday yet?

[twdmusicboxmystery]

11x02: Acheron, Part 2 - Analysis

Okay, let’s talk 11x02. And 11x01. Because it’s a two-part episode, it’s important to consider them together. I have a LOT to say about what’s going on in these two episodes, so I’ll have plenty to post all week. Let’s dive in!

***As always, spoilers abound below for TWD 11x02. Don’t read until you’ve watched! You’ve been warned!***

Maggie

The first thing we see is a point of view from under the train car. The instant I saw that, I knew how things would go. I never thought Maggie would die (if nothing else, there are scenes with her in the trailer we haven’t seen yet) but I was curious as to how she would survive. When I saw this POV, I knew she’d end up crawling under the train. Just as Glenn crawled under the dumpster. Massive parallels to Glenn. Which by extension, massive parallels to Beth. Major resurrection theme.

It's also important that when she reappears, she comes from underneath the car. Obviously, that’s logical given that she crawled underneath the car, but they make a point of asking if the pounding is coming from the roof. Gabriel says no and then they open the bottom hatch for her. Her coming up from the ground like that is a visual representation of a resurrection.

So we see Gabriel, Negan and the others enter the train car. The spatial details here are important, and I had to watch the episode twice to get them all straight. It’s a little confusing the first time. So, the group jumps down into the train car through a hatch in the roof because they couldn’t get the door open in the last episode. The thing is, if you watch closely, you come to realize they’re not in the train car on the end. They must have walked along the roof for two or three cars before finding a hatch that let them in.

So, when Gauge shows up, he comes behind them, and that confused me because I was thinking they came from that direction. And they did, but they entered through the roof, not the door. Anyway, they can’t get the door open. So honestly, even if they’d tried harder, I’m not sure they could have saved him.

This scene accomplished a lot of things, character-wise, that we need to touch on. It’s important to note that Gauge’s death happened due to his own choices. Does that mean he “deserved” to die or that they shouldn’t have tried to save him if they could have? Of course not. No on both counts. But that doesn’t change the fact that his choices sealed his fate.

It's especially interesting that he called Maggie a Liar. Not only is that a throwback to the Governor, but it’s a particular type of mentality they’re showing here. Even the fact that he didn’t shut the door behind him is really interesting. My first thought was to be annoyed with him. Why WOULDN’T you shut the door. You live in this world. You know better. But it’s all ego. He can’t imagine something bad will happen. He just assumes if it does, someone will save him.

But the most telling thing was how angry he got before saying Liar. It just shows very much how he approaches life. When he messes up, he doesn’t feel bad, and accept that it was his fault, and try to learn from it. No, instead he gets pissed and blames everyone but himself and his own actions.

If this had been Daryl or Gabriel or Alden or any of our other heroes, they would have recognized that opening the door would have gotten their friends and family killed and would have sacrificed themselves. Especially if they realized they’d screwed up. But Gauge became angry and defiant, even killing himself.

Anyway, I’m rambling. This really has nothing to do with Beth or TD other than perhaps being a future template for something. But I thought it was a really fascinating character sketch.

The thing is, this isn’t really a matter of Gauge being wrong and everyone else being right.

Maggie is…not doing so well either. As I told my fellow theorists, Paola Lazaro said in TTD last week that Maggie was kind of off the rails. I think she said that a little prematurely, because we really didn’t understand Maggie’s state of mind just by watching 10x17 and 11x01.

It's not until she tells that messed up story about the house she found and the people in it that we understand that her state of mind really isn’t at its healthiest. Even saying she wanted to kill Negan before is…understandable given their past. But it makes more sense now why Negan is so nervous. He’s sensing her state of mind that her moral conscience isn’t as strong as it once was, so of course he’s fearful for his life.

I don’t know where they’re going with this Maggie story line, but I have a feeling this attitude of hers will cause conflict down the road. Several of my fellow theorists believe it will cause a rift between her and Daryl. And we can see that somewhat through Alden. At first, he was very much defending Maggie, especially against Negan. He has a lot of loyalty to her. But he didn’t like her abandoning Gauge, and you can see his loyalties starting to waver.

At the very least, what she said about not feeling anything about it is the opposite of what Beth always stood for. Daryl was trying hard not to feel things during Still, in the wake of the prison going down. She made him feel things because that’s the only way a person is truly living, rather than just surviving. Now Maggie is in that state of mind.

And I’m gonna argue that makes it a prime time for Beth to return to help her. But of course I’m completely objective over here. ;D

Maggie’s Story:

Maggie’s story was definitely dark and horrible, but interesting to analyze. I’m assuming there was cannibalism going on there. That’s why the missing limbs. The men in the house were eating the female prisoners. No only a callback to Terminus, but remember that Bob’s leg was taken for food, so I’m sure that’s what we’re supposed to infer here.

She talked about no eyes, no tongue, no limbs, vocal cords ripped out. So definitely the see no evil, speak no evil themes. With the limbs, it’s also a matter of not being able to escape or save themselves.

In terms of the plot, I do have one question about this that I think may be significant. Maggie first talks about three deformed people (she says, “I wouldn’t call them men”) coming toward her. She kills them, and only after that hears the noise from the attic.

My question is, why were they deformed? If they’re “men,” then they must be at least Maggie’s age, if not older, which means they’ve been around since before the apocalypse began. Even eating human flesh doesn’t cause one to become deformed, so why the deformities? I have no idea, but I wondered if there is a radiation theme going on here. Something they’re hinting at, but not saying. Just thought that was intriguing.

After that, things go sideways and everyone almost dies until Daryl arrives to save the day. So, let’s skip to his story.

Daryl:

We first see him bust through a wall with Dog. So, dog took off in the last episode, but the first time we see Daryl, he’s already found Dog again. At least, the first time. This is where he sees the murals on the wall, the walker with the handcuff and the suitcase of money, etc. I already talked about most of that in great detail HERE, so I won’t rehash it, though it’s very important.

One thing I will say about the mural is that thematically, it’s a match to Still. So, in the golf club, we had lots of rich people who clearly hid there when the world first went bad. And I don’t remember this particularly, but several of my fellow theorists have told me they remember the TTD after Still and that the writers talked about how the golf club was a statement about the class system. You have these very rich people, but their wealth couldn’t save them. Death, walkers, the apocalypse…none of these things discriminate based on wealth or position.

On the wall, we see people with crowns standing at the top, but below, they are homeless, and one of them is being attacked and torn apart. Meanwhile, Daryl sees a line of text that says, “it comes for us all,” probably meaning death.

Well, guess what? Angela Kang, in talking about the murals, said that this, too, was a statement about the class system. So thematically, this is meant to be a parallel to Still.

It’s just interesting to contemplate because if you think about it, most of our heros—Rick, Daryl, the Greene family, etc—weren’t at all wealthy. Rick was humble and well-grounded. Hershel worked hard his whole life and never had any glory or fanfare. And then there’s Daryl, who was “nothing. No one.” They all survived.

So of course it’s a socioeconomic statement, but it’s also one about mindset. It takes not only grit to survive this world, but a certain amount of humility. Ego always gets you killed eventually, as it did with Gauge.

I’ll also mention that I thought the guy with the crown who was being torn apart was being set upon by walkers, but AK says they’re specifically not walkers. They’re people.

So, it’s not a coincidence that we see this juxtaposed with the Gauge situation. His ego gets him killed and we literally see him being torn apart because of it.

Moving on.

Daryl finds a bag with a $100 bill with a letter written on it. This is a massive TD clue from start to finish. 100 is an important number. The hundred dollar bill features Benjamin Franklin on the front and Independence Hall on the back. Look either of those up and you’ll find lots of fun parallels we could point to. I won’t go into all that today except to say it’s definitely part of the Revolution theme.

This is what’s written on the bill Daryl finds:

“Dear Dad, you always said if you don’t come back in a week to move on. Mom didn’t listen and went looking. It’s been three weeks, so we’re going next. I’ll watch Jesse and turn on the radio every day at 10. See you both soon. Love Tom and Jesse.”

He also finds a picture of two kids. So, the “three weeks” jumps out because of Rick’s line in 5x10, “it’s been three weeks since Atlanta.” It’s also about missing family members, going searching for them, etc. Possibly important that the mom is also missing. I can’t help but think of the song from Still. “Our mother has been absent, every since we founded Rome…”

There is a 10 in there, which is an important number. The turning the radio on every day is both the radio/airwaves theme (also a line from the song) but a callback to Rick and Morgan and their walkie talkies. So, really interesting symbols here.

The two kids immediately reminded me of Noah’s twin brothers. I don’t think these two are supposed to be twins. I’m assuming the brother is older. But still obviously siblings. And it hearkens back to the last episode Beth was technically in. Which also had a lot of the CRM/Revolution theme in it. (X, X).

AK says this family probably didn’t make it, so I’m not expecting these kids to show up in the narrative. But it’s also important to note that the little girl is carrying the toy rabbit Maggie found earlier. So the rabbit also ties into all this symbolism. (P.S. I didn’t get to my rabbit post last week. I planned on it, but time got away from me. I should get it posted later this week.)

So, this is massive in terms of TD symbolism. I’ll talk about it fits into the bigger narrative in a minute.

Then Daryl kills the sleeping bag walker. I wasn’t sure the significance of this at first, but I think it ties to the tents and sleeping bags we saw in Atlanta in 5x06, Consumed. Daryl and Carol passed them while looking for Beth. So, this just shows us that this is tied to her storyline and Daryl searching for her.

You could also argue that the walker was “hidden” at first, and it’s significant that Dog found it/realized it was there before Daryl did. 

The other thing is that as he’s looking at the sleeping bag walker, there’s a random shoe on the ground next to it. Missing Shoe/Foot theory, which is also indicative of Beth. 

They hear another roaring sound and Dog takes off, running into the dark tunnel.

Here’s the thing. I think most people will assume the roar he heard was just more air being forced through the tunnels by the storm, as Alden explained it in ep 1. But I always watch with the subtitles on and I noticed at this part, the subtitles said, “Man Roaring.” So they actually did hear someone screaming. And that’s probably why Dog ran toward it.

After watching it again, I realized it’s probably supposed to be Roy. He’s the white-haired guy, played by C. Thomas Howell, who Daryl finds wounded after he emerges from the Tunnel. I think whatever happened to him when he went topside but then got attacked by walkers is what Dog heard and went running toward.

Maybe not terribly significant in the plot, but it’s important symbolically. Because once again we have something Daryl hears from a distance but doesn’t see. Dog (a proxy for Beth) runs toward it, and Daryl follows. When he does, he find someone who had previously separated from the group. They’re hurt, but alive. See the parallels?

I will say the Roy situation confuses me just a little. He’s clearly hurt, and when Daryl tries to bandage him, he refuses, saying, “just tell my kids I didn’t die a coward.” But then later he’s with the group, all bandaged up, and seems to be okay. (He dies when they reach the Reapers by taking an arrow to the head, so he still dies overall.) But it’s just weird that it seemed he would die, then seemed he was fine again.

It may well be something that foreshadows a future situation, and that’s why it’s not making tons of sense right now. Only time will tell.

Anyway, I kind of glossed over Daryl crawling through the dark tunnel. I don’t have much else to say about it except that it’s a SUPER potent symbol for Beth’s arc and very important that he emerges on the other side and finds this person. Annnd then goes to save TF. (Dark Tunnel Symbolism).

So, he hears the gunshots and finds the train they’re on. He comes up behind the walkers attacking them from the front, kills them, moves the bench blocking the door, and lets everyone through. Then he uses a grenade to blow up all the walkers. (Ew.)

After that they all get out of the tunnels and go topside. The next scene is also super important. We see the stars above. That’s partly to show that the storm has passed now, but also constellations = Sirius.

Maggie asks what he has and he tells her about it. There is one weird moment in this scene. When she tells them about the supply depot she wants to stop at, she says Georgie (from S8) set it up for emergencies, for people on the outside to use. When it says this, the camera focuses on Daryl for a LONG moment, and he looks almost sad. I’m not sure what they’re trying to tell us there.

Anyway, they all head out. Unfortunately, when they reach the right neighborhood, the Reapers are there to meet/kill them. And Roy is the first to go.

So, a couple of things here. I’ll probably do a details post because I’m leaving out MOST of the background details throughout the episode, and there are a lot of them. Lots of details to be gleaned in this scene.

But the second time I watched it, I was struck by the people hanging upside down. Obviously a grim sight, but it occurred to me that these people hanging this way look a LOT like the deer diagrams from Scars. Let me show you some pictures:

Top pick is 11x02. Middle and bottom one are from Scars.

See what I mean? So, chances are something about Scars foreshadowed the Reapers, which is interesting. They clearly see human beings in a certain way (as animals to be strung up and…perhaps eaten?) And that makes me think that what Maggie found in that house may tie into the Reapers as well. Just kind of interesting foreshadows of coming plots.

Eugene:

Let’s talk Eugene and then I’ll shut up for today. Eugene’s stuff was very intriguing. First thing you need to know. And understand, I didn’t know this. @wdway​ pointed it out. Some months ago, the actress cast as “Stephanie” was announced. This is her:

And that’s clearly not the woman who steps into the train car at the end. Which means this isn’t really Stephanie. She’s a decoy. In fact, the actress from this episode is billed on IMDb as “woman 2,” not as “Stephanie.”

Knowing that, if you go back and re-watch the parts with Eugene’s group, they mean something very different.

On the surface, it seems that Zeke, Yumiko and Princess are taken away in a sinister fashion. Then Eugene melts down and tells his story. (Note: while he focuses on his feelings for Stephanie and I think most of that is true, he still says he lied both to her and to his friends about being from a large settlement. So, he’s still keeping large chunks of the truth from them.)

Again, on the surface it seems that they accept his explanation and just decide to allow them all in. All the stuff with the other three is just a misunderstanding.

But if “Stephanie” is a decoy, that can’t possibly be the case. I think Zeke and the others told Eugene the truth as they know it, but they’re all still being manipulated.

After Princess left to pee, the guy told Eugene no one was in the room and acted like he had no idea who Princess was. They were definitely using psychological torture on him, trying to break him.

I think they know very well that Eugene's group is still lying about their settlement, and they're using a decoy "Stephanie" to find out the truth.

My point is that it goes back to the hallucination, making-someone-think-they're-crazy theme. It will be really interesting to see how this unfolds, because there's all kinds of psychological shenanigans going on here.

@galadrieljones​ made a really interesting connection some time ago. She noticed that back in 10x18, at Leah’s cabin, there is a metal, heart-shaped chair. The same chairs show up in the Commonwealth’s sales video from the trailer. So there’s some kind of link between Leah, Daryl’s memory of her, and the Commonwealth. We don’t know what it is yet, but all of this gives credence to the idea that she is either an outright hallucination, or Daryl is just remembering things wrong.

It also might mean that the Reapers are connected to the Commonwealth in some way. We don’t really know yet, but I’m having tons of fun trying to figure it out.

I want to touch briefly on the train car theme. Once again, there’s a parallel in both story lines (Terminus, and this one at the Commonwealth). Daryl’s group is in train cars this episode. And while Eugene’s group has been at a different compound, they started in the train yard and end in it here. But what I noticed is that Eugene enters the train car at the end, which is furnished inside, and finds his friends there. They all have a happy reunion.

It made me think of the fact that when Rick, Daryl, Michonne, and Carl enter the train cars at Terminus, there is also a family reunion. What happened beyond that was not good or easy. Clearly, Terminus was not a good place. Many of them almost died at the trough and they had to fight their way out through a walker blood bath.

I’m just saying that, while it obviously won’t play out exactly the same way, something similar is probably waiting for Eugene’s group outside that train car. Not good.

Acheron Overall:

Okay, let’s get to the big cheese, here. The overall narrative. The template.

These two episodes are called Acheron part 1 and part 2. So here’s the skinny:

Acheron = Underworld. Daryl’s group going into the subway tunnels (dark, underground) is what constitutes Acheron and why the episodes are called that. That’s why, at the end of this episode, they emerge from the tunnels onto the surface (i.e. the living world).

Given all the death, cemetery, and dark tunnel symbolism around Beth, given that she ventured into the land of the dead by being shot, maybe clinically dying for a time, and being thought dead for so long, what this tells me is that everything that happens in these tunnels is a foreshadow and template for what will happen this season.

I maintain that Dog = Beth and we will soon see something where Daryl hears something (not necessarily her; it was a man screaming so I still think it will be Rick he hears word of) and goes chasing after it. While searching for it, he stumbles across Beth. Then the two of them (both Dog and Daryl returned to the train car) go back in time to save TF from something.

This is most likely why the Roy thing is weird. In a super understated way, he represents Rick in the template. Daryl will find him, but only after he finds Beth. Even consider what Roy says. He says, “tell my kids I didn’t die a coward.” And that’s all well and good, but did we even know Roy had kids? No. Have we met them? No. But who has kids that Daryl IS concerned with? That would be Rick.

So I’m thinking that maybe when Daryl finds Rick, Rick will think he’s dying for some reason, and that’s why the dialogue here. But he won’t, which is why we see Roy with the group later.

And no, I’m not thinking that Roy dying via the Reapers will extend to Rick. It’s more like what they’ve done with countless characters that have been Beth proxies. Eventually, they kill them off. He’s a minor character they were using as a proxy, and when they are done with him in the narrative, he becomes walker chow. Or, in this case, Reaper fodder.

Anyway, I think everything will end up being a foreshadow for something. Maggie and Negan. The Gauge situation. All of it. I’ll try to keep coming back to this as the story progresses to show what everything foreshadows. I’ll stop there for today.

[i-make-questionable-choices]

When the Hurt Comes, So Does the Happiness.

Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: Torture, SPN level gore, mentions of rape/non-con, mentions of forced bestiality(nothing graphic), angst.

Summary: When Alastair disappeared after Anna’s death, he took you with him, holding you simply to torture the Winchesters. With the knowledge that angels are tracking him down, he sets out to hurt you as much as he can.

A/N: This kinda replaces the end of 04x15. Also my first work so please please please let me know how I did or anything else. Feedback is golden!

When Dean came back to life after 40 years in the pit, he had had trouble believing he was, in fact, alive. Paranoia followed him from hell, and it took a while for him to realize that his resurrection was not some cruel joke. It had taken some time, but slowly, he had accepted that this was real. That you were real.

But now you were gone. Plucked from his grasp like a child plucks a flower from the earth. It made Dean wonder if he ever left Hell.

—

Alastair hummed softly, relishing in the cries of his latest victim. It had been surprisingly easy to take his best student little pet away from him, and, though he was no where near either of the Winchesters, the knowledge that they would be driving themselves into the ground looking for you almost had him singing.

He hadn’t felt such exhilaration during a torture session as he was feeling since the righteous man had fallen onto his rack. And while he couldn’t use some of his preferred techniques, considering he wanted you alive, the knowledge that Dean was suffering at your mere absence was delicious.

Carefully selecting a pair cuticle nippers from his cart of tools, he turned with a flourish, grin falling as he realized you were unconscious. You were no fun unconscious, after all, he liked your screams.

With an aggrieved sigh, he dropped the nippers back on the table and, begrudgingly, snatched up a heavy leather collar. He sulked over to the rack where you lay unconscious and cinched it around your neck, far too tight for it to be comfortable, then stormed out of the room

—

When you flickered back into consciousness, all you could do was try and breath.

The still air chilled your bare skin, raising goosebumps along the paled flesh. The leather around your neck, though suffocatingly tight, was eerily comforting, and though it confused you, you lent into it. You needed all the comfort could could get.

Despite the freezing air and the chills that ran along your skin, the outside of your left thigh burned with a vengeance. Tears welled in your eyes as you recalled the moments before you fell unconscious.

The pain from the brand had cast all other thoughts from your mind when Alastair had seared what he called a ‘permanent reminder’ of himself into your skin.

It was all too much, the cold, the pain, your hunger, and the confusing comfort of the collar. You didn’t see it coming, but you barely had seconds before you passed out once more.

—

Alastair waking you up by pouring water on you wasn’t unusual, as a matter of fact, it seemed to be his preferred method. But each and every time the water had been icy.

This time, it was boiling.

You screamed as it awoke you, drowning out Alastair’s cruel laugh as you gasped and sobbed. Your body spasming against its restraints, desperately trying to evade the pain.

“Good morning, pet,” the sickly sweet tone of his voice sent shivers up your spine, “did you enjoy your bath?”

A slight pull choked you for a moment as Alastair undid the buckle before the collar disappeared.

“You fell asleep on me last night, quiet rude don’t you think?” He grinned as tears streamed down your face, tinting pink as they washed away bits of dried blood. “No matter, we have plenty of time for just us today!”

A flash a metal caught in the cold light as Alastair brandished the cuticle nippers once more.

Slowly, delicately, he lowered them to your face, tracing your features just as Dean used to in the wee hours of the morning. If Alastair knew this, he would rejoice knowing that the seat gesture was now ruined by his doing.

He reached your lips, then without warning, split your upper lip in half.

Your wail was music to his ears, the fading sound leaving him yearning for more. He forced you to count threatening you with harsh punishment should you refuse.

By the time they got to one-hundred, your body was shaking with sobs, voice cracking. To add insult to injury, your stomach, having gone four days now with out food, rumbled and groaned.

Humiliation flooded through you, your cheeks burning.

Through tears you spared a glance at your torturer,  furrowed brow widened as you perceived the look of sadistic joy upon his face.

“Pet!” He cried, the same way a mother or parental figure does when you do something unexpected. "You should have told me you were so hungry!”

He released the nippers, letting them clatter to the ground.

“I wasn’t going to feed you just yet but I suppose we could switch things around a bit…” The strap across your forehead prevented you from turning your head completely, but your heart dropped into your stomach when you saw the contraption Alastair selected; a long tube, open on one end with a funnel connected to the other.

In a desperate attempt at self preservation, you clamped your lips tight, ignoring the burning pain that spread across your face at the pressure on your cut lip. Alastair snorted, the corners of his smirk curling up further.

“Very well then, if you insist on being difficult…”

You cried out as he shoved the tube up your nose. It wasn’t a large tube, but good god was it to big for such a small space. You could feel it scraping away at the inside of your nose, could feel the blood trickle down to your mouth.

There was barely a warning before it entered your throat; a slight tickle at the top of your mouth, perhaps.

You coughed and gagged as he slipped it down you throat further, eyes leaking tears like a faucet.

Finally, after what felt like ages, the tube stopped moving. Sniffling, you sobbed, not bothering to muffle the sounds of crying.

“Bonne appétit, kitten.”

You couldn’t see what he poured into the funnel, part of you didn’t want to anyways. Your muscles tensed in anticipation, waiting for whatever pain you would feel next. You did not expect to feel a tickle in your chest before your body spasmed into a coughing fit.

“Whoopsie!”

Alastair’s voice sent shivers up your spine. “Wrong way. I’m so sorry, kitten, how careless of me.”

Pulling it back out was just as bad as him pushing it in, it was unnatural and you so longed to claw at your neck.

It took him a moment to actually get the tube into your esophagus, but with a sharp jab and a feel around your neck, he was pretty sure it was in the right place now.

He was halfway through, ignoring your gags in an effort to repeal the foreign device, when his head shot up, eyes gazing towards the door, before a smirk adorned his mug.

“Well, pet, it seems that we have a guest,” he reached for the collar, tightening it more than he ever had before. “You’ll be a good girl while I go and greet them, won’t you?”

With a slight bow, he disappeared from your vision, exiting somewhere behind you and slamming a door you couldn’t see. The only sounds now audible were your gags as your body fought to expel the tube from its system.

Tilted onto your back, it was excruciatingly hard for you to vomit up the tube and you needed up spewing several mouthfuls of bile onto yourself before you could spit it out.

With Alastair gone, you began to process your situation.

Naked, shorn, and weak, covered in cuts and burns and bruises, sticky with blood and bile and the filth of the dogs Alistair had set on you. Helpless. Alone. Collared, branded, and chained like an animal. For the first time in these two weeks, it hit you just how pathetic you were was.

It was the straw that broke the camels back. The loneliness. The time to think. With a shuddering gasp, you descended into tears

—

Dean sprinted through the halls of the warehouse. Slamming his hands into every door, yelling out your name. The desperation raw in his voice.

He reached the end of the hall and tried the door; locked.

At first, he backed up, trying with all his might to kick it down, and then to bodyslam it open. When his body couldn’t take it anymore, he grabbed his gun.

Aiming it at the glass square in the door, he fired several times until he had a hole large enough to reach through.

Shards of glass still clinging to the door frame pierced his jacket at sliced his skin, he didn’t care, he had to check everywhere.

It was an awkward angle, and Dean could barely reach it, but he managed to twist the knob on the inside until the door swung open; revealing the carnage inside.

—

It took the Dean a moment to register that the form on the table was indeed the women he was looking for. No longer did you sport your gorgeous H/C locks, the hair barely dotting your shaved scalp as it began growing back. Your skin was so stained and burned and bruised it didn’t look human.  

Hesitantly, as if approaching a frightened rabbit, Dean paced forwards.

“Y/N?” His voice as hesitant as his steps.

Your eyes flew open, fearful as a rabbit chased by dogs. The relief that flooded them as soon as you realized who it was was immediate.

“de-an?” Your voice choppy and hoarse.

“Hey there, sweetheart.” Dean struggled to blink back tears.

“s-sammy?”

“He’s okay, I’m gonna get you outta here, okay sweetheart?”
 You hummed, eyes half closed as your head lolled to the side, a couple tears cutting through the grime on your cheeks and nose.

Silence hung between them as Dean fiddled with straps around your wrists, slick blood and bile. The straps had been locked so tightly that they had rubbed the skin raw and left it paled as blood smuggled to fill back in.

As the moved to your ankles he grimaced, noticing the sticky white mess that dripped down your inner thighs.

You didn’t make a sound as he adjusted your prone figure to sit forwards, letting you lean against his shoulder as he fiddled with the too tight buckle around your neck. He didn’t care about the vomit that dribbled down your chin, staining his shirt, nor did he care about the blood that seeped into his clothes.

His only focus was you.

The collar fell away from your neck leaving behind rubs and bruised skin. Dean had expected the removal of the collar to calm you, not for your breathing to speed up ten-fold, nor to be able to feel your heart pound against his chest.

“no.” It was barely a whisper, a hint of a word, but Dean stilled, pulling back as he gripped your shaking shoulders. His mind was scrambling for answers, what had Alastair done to you? Why were you wearing t-

Oh.

He pulled you tight against his chest once more, murmuring reassurances in your ear as he hid his own tears from view.

His rage burned as he recalled his time apprenticing under Alastair; the time that monster had shown him one of his more ‘refined’ techniques.

Conditioning.

Training the victims mind into associating the removal of a collar or chains or the opening of their cage with extreme pain. It was a technique so ruthless that Dean had never been able to bring himself to do it.

Not even at his worst.

It took Dean a moment, but, as he desperately tried to banish those horrid memories from his mind, he shrugged off his jacket. Gently as he could, he draped the fabric over your shoulders and carefully guided each arm through the sleeves.

It was a bit too big, your fingers still hiding in the sleeves, but it gave you a shred of modesty and you clutched at him tighter.

When his arm wormed its way under your knees, you stifled your whimper as best you could but you could not conceal the tiniest of squeaks that escaped your cracked lips.

Deans eyes filled with pity, mouth parting to apologize but you beat him to it.

“P-please, just get me out of here.”

He hesitated a moment then steeled himself and nodded, his other arm supporting your lower back.

“Sorry about this sweetheart.”

You gasped softly as some of your injuries rubbed against his shirt and fresh tears sprang in your eyes. As he lifted you closer to his chest, you brought your trembling arms up around his neck, leaning your chin over his shoulder.

The beat of his steps both jarred your injuries and provided comforting sounds, lulling you into a more restful state. You would have fallen asleep had Dean not stepped outside moments later.

The air was crisp, slight breezing chilling you to the bone. Shivering, you burrowed deeper into Deans arms and he tightened his hold on you. As he carried you away from the hellhole in which you had been trapped, the sky came into view. And with the sky, came the stars.

They twinkled, blurring in you teary eyes and you took in a long, deep breath of fresh air.

You couldn’t help yourself; sobs wracked your body as it truly set in that you were finally free. Free from Alastair and his pain. Free from his torture. Free.

Dean didn’t say a word. He knew exactly the emotions that were coursing through you. When he had first come back, he had been hesitant and as wary as a rabbit. Not daring for ages to believe that his resurrection was not some cruel joke.

As he reached the Impala. He had to shift his hold on you to reach the passengers side handle and even then he had difficulty opening the door, but he managed. Not daring to set you down and the unforgivingly cold concrete.

Slowly ducking his head, he lowered you onto your back onto the cool leather seat of the Impala. He made to pull away but your arms tightened around his neck, terrified of losing him.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay sweetheart, I’m just gonna grab you a blanket, okay? I’m not going anywhere, okay?” He took time to check that everything he did was okay with you, letting you know everything so as not to leave you dreading something he would do, even if he knew he wasn’t going to hurt you. Gently he took ahold of your forearms, clutching them between fingertips, and lowered them to your chest. Pulling away quickly, he opened the door to the backseat, reaching up onto the rear dash to grab one of the thick blankets they kept there. He shut the door as quietly as he could, but that didn’t stop you from reflexively tensing at the abrupt noise. Though Dean noticed, he said nothing, it wouldn’t help you right now anyways.

Carefully, he worked the blanket underneath you, then laid you back down on the leather, wrapping you up nice and tight. He ducked back, about to shut the door when the rustling of feathers sounded behind him, alarming the both of you.

Quiet as a cat, in all his trench-coated glory, was Castiel. His eye were stoic and matched Deans fiery gaze.

“What do you want now?” Dean snarled, turning completely and shielding you from the angels view.

For a moment, Castiel was silent, eyes dropping to stare at the road beneath him before he returned his gaze to Dean, stepping forwards.

“This hasn’t been easy for you.”

“Yeah no shit! What the hell do you want?”

“I’m here to help.” He nodded at you.

“Why the fuck would you do that. You’ve done nothing for us since you pulled me outta hell!” Deans voice was low and angry, yet cautiously quiet.

Behind him, you shivered as the night air crept in through the open door.

Castiel said nothing, lifting his chin to regard Dean. The look he sported was not judgmental, but perhaps slightly inquisitive. And not the type of inquisitivity that came alongside confusion, no he knew everything he wanted and needed to, but instead a type of inquisitivity that prompted Dean to stop and think.

For a few tense moments, only the stars dared to move, it seemed even the air around the angel and the hunter stilled. Then, slowly, cautiously, Dean stepped back.

“Fine, but hurry the hell up!”

Periwinkle eyes softened, a look of compassion that one might expect when they thought of an angel, and he leant over you.

At first you shrunk away, not willing to be near anyone other than Dean, but you had to trust Dean, trust that he wouldn’t let anyone he didn’t mildly trust near you.

Eyes glowing blue, Castiel pressed but two fingers to your forehead. The tenseness in your shoulders seemed to relax and the frown upon your lips softened. A wave of warmth, like a loving hug, washed through you, chasing away the pain Though the bloodstains and other substances soiling your skin remained, the physical damage was slowly washed away.

He stepped back, allowing Dean to approach you and examine his work. Though Dean still had his back to him, Castiel gave one last thoughtful comment.

“We’re not all so stuck-up, if you give us a chance.”

Dean had barely started to turn before Castiels wings rustled once more and he disappeared into nothingness.  

He stared long and hard at the spot where the angel had once stood, the let his gaze wander upwards. Overhead, a patch of cloud was slowly pushed across the sky, and the moon glowed brightly. She smiled down at the hunter as he gazed at her in return.

Dean lowered his gaze.

He stood there for only a moment longer then turned, shutting the passengers door behind him and walking across the front of the car. He pulled the door open and plopped down in the drivers seat, exhausted.

He hadn’t expected it, but a soft smile graced his features as you scooted closer to him, wresting your head against his thigh.

Starting the car he pulled out from the curb, placing one hand on your head. You murmured then nuzzled into the touch.’

It would take weeks, maybe even months, but, as he sped away from Alastair’s hellhole Dean knew you would be okay.

Both of you, would be okay.