#its not worth it but i cant quit because i need the insurance and the money

[skylightdistraction]

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[this-should-do]

Sorry I really wanted to ask this-

Shephard Swap AU? (Mitchell is put in infinite stasis, Adrian ends up Abluquerque for the HDTF story, their experiences in Black Mesa are kept completely the same)

I wanted to ask, what *you* think would happen/change because of this, seeing as this type of AU really fully hinges on your own interpretation of Adrian Shephard.

Ya know if you want something to ponder about..

Bro i fucking Love pondering shit so absolutely do not apologize for askin this, cuz its a real thinker and i spent like 3 or so hours straight writing it lmao it could be better but this is a first draft and im not editting it cuz im lazy

So obviously, this is already a challenge because the plot of hdtf is just,,,, one of the plots of all time. its contrived and relies on A Lot of asumptions and a mischarcterization/understanding of gman and how and why he does what he does. granted we dont know much about gman but the gman in hdtf is just strange? i guess, hes definately far more hands on than valve writes him, but also im realizing that gman is far mroe hands on in adrians story, actively helping him (something he doesnt do for gordon and barney is just not even on his radar), so i guess it sorta makes sense that adiran and mitch have theri stories intertwine like they do, might even be a part of the reason that berken tied them together like that since gman play such a pivotla role in mitchs story (i doubt it honestly but we can give him this for funsies)

so assuming were all familiar with the plots of both hdtf and opfor wers gonna start with why ours boys are getting switched

so in hdtf, gman has mitch on standby getting power to that he can be a distraction in the future at some point so gordon has an easier time to do things?? (even tho the point in time hes a distraction is when the combine literally cant get to gordon becuz hes in a week long teleport but whatever) all becuz he said sum funnywords? but also the perpetual prescence of gman in the flashbacks implies that mitch has been a fascination of gmans for quite some time,,,, weird

so what were gonna do is apply that fascination to adiran in the first place as well, and adiran who already did a buncha cool shit (which mitch did not do which makes him lame to gman) is gonna be gmans backup for if gordon needs help in the future (i say if becuz im interpreting gmans time onicience as a 'he can only guess which path this universe is gonna go down', cuz his dialogue about him having to convince his employers that alyx is gonan be worth it, and with hla the him we see is a him from the future ona particular path changing things up on purpose)

but plot twist gman didnt really want him doing all that shit becuz it fucks with his plans so he brings adam back (int he hev suit not for deception purposes but to make sure that he stays alive long enough to adrian who has had no prob killing entire groups of blackops and adam got his ass handed to him already by mitch) to kill adrian with the promise of killing Corporal Shephard (intended to be adrian), but adam ends up killing the shephard he wanted to (mitch) and gmans like fuck damn okay not what i wanted but i guess you did what i asked you to, but anyways next assignment you gotta help the important shephard stay alive, (gman makes mitch deadnt as insurance to make sure adrian stays in line later down the line or whatever, honestly he doesnt need mitch alive but this is what ive got in terms of putting mitch in stasis)

so at this point adrian gets a deal with gman to be allowed to make it out of black mesa becuz hes so poggers its be sad to see a life wasted, hes just gonna owe gman a favor later

so act1 plays out much the same wiht adrian at the helm, he wakes up in the hospital, meets up with nick and is sent on his way to find colonel cue, meets up with adam who has been sent there to make sure adrian doesnt start blabbing to people about what they saw in bm (but also secretly to ensure that adrian hates freeman cuz he would def know what happened to mitch when adrian mentions/ asks after him, and adams gonan for sure lie to cover his ass and be able to do his "job", this causes adrian to say sumthign along the lines of "goddam, sunovabitch i shoulda killed that orange cremesicle lookin ass when i had the chance" thus keeping eveything setting up for the whole name of the game) cuz that was one of gmans concerns about letting adrian go in the first place, which still confuses me cuz lots of people knew stuff in black mesa and got out just fine but also whatever. and from here it really doesnt change at all, adrian eventually ends up captain of the avalon vale, and off they sail

so now act2, also goes p similarly, adrians been on a warpath fucking up combine cuz damn, another overwhelming set of aliens to kill, better get to it, so now hes off teh go fuck up the "weapons" factory up in alaska, turns out its a bunch of slave children making the worlds first cremators all being headed by headdipshit boris. now adrian does not like this, he instead of talking to boris just straight up shoots him, like "fucka you, u suck", takes the kids (including sasha) and proceeds to destroy the entire facility back in line with mitchs descion making.

now act3,,,, is a doozy,,, cuz adrian is a far different man than his brother (frankly they wouldnt even call himself a man, he is nobiney lmao) so when gman shows up and tries to prey on his dislike of freeman for killing mitch to get him to kill freeman, adrian is older and obviously less intent on killing some guy that is not combine, even if he doesnt like the bitch, so gman pulls out the old "well fun fact, i can bring u rbrother back if u kill freeman" (this is valid cuz its int eh same vein as hla ending) so adrian is like ",,,,fine" so he sets off, however he doesnt team up with the combine on this one, cuz he really, really doesnt like the combine and also doesnt have a weird edgelord "well wed do the same thing as them if we could" thing going on that i guess would lend him to being willing to team up with them like mitch does

so now adrians off to kill freeman, but this time teams up with the resistance to get a chance at getting close to gordon, by earnign thier trust, cuz chances are if theyve been killing combine for 20 years, theyre gonna hve come in contact witht hem at some point, this also functions as bolstering the reisitances numbers, helping meet the distract the combine from gordon quota that adrians is meant to serve, to do this he eventually gets sent to bmeast to meet up with eli to discuss numbers and shit or whatever, which places him near gordon but is just a near miss as they arrive right around the time of the combines raid, so adirans gets a chance in the confusion to go after gordon without looking sus and immediatley being blamed for killing gordon.

this sets off a similar chain of events to og hdtf, goes thru ravenholm, galavants across the countryside, gets to those rebel outposts or whatever and gets info under the guise of helping gordon so they tell him where to go, eventually makes his way to nova prospekt, is too late to get to gordon but is there fast enough to kill neoguh combine to ensure gordon adn alyx can get into the teleporter (ie making gordons way easier), so now hes gotta fight his way out, still ends up washing out into the ocean, but instead of being captured by rebels hes saved by them, he wakes up in that prison theyre holed up in, and goes to send a message to adam and nick cuz he misses his besties (adrian does not end up making it a polycule, but adam and nick still date) and wants to meet up with them again to regroup cuz adrian is fucked up to the most after all of that. (i am not having gman show up to plot explain shit to adrian cuz i think thats stupid)

now at this point adam is looking at adrian and is like, damn this is all my fault that hes gone on this suicide mission to kill a guy who didnt even do the crime, and this time round adam is going to be the bigger man and say "hey man, i was the one who killed ur brother, u dont gotta be fighting two wars at once" this causes adrian to just fucking loose it honestly, damn near kills adam but thankfully nick is there to buffer, and once seperated adrian just sobs, and this time adam and adrian get to talk shit out, adam also kinda says that he saw gman take mitchs body so he might still have him somewhere, so now were like wait shid is mitch still somewhere, this eventually si confirmed by the vortigaunts who can see that oh yeah these bitches have been fucked with by gman also ur brothers alive and gmans got him in his clutches

so since adrian technically did his job gmans not gonna come after him all that much, specially since adrians gonna continue to fight with the resistance to help freeman so hes doing overtime at this point

so eventually he still goes to borealis, but this time in a timely manner since he finds out about it thru the resistance, using the avalon vale, but also with an ulterior motive to a) kill that sunuvabitch gman and b) get mitch back adn thats the end of the game !

honestly, it would make more sense to not have gman force adrian to kill freeman but i decided to keep it that way so that its still hdtf, but honestly, it seems more likely with adrian there that gman would tell adrian to go help out the resistance, but we can write that option off as gman being a messy bitch lmao

[anxietysroomsupport]

Hypermobile anon here. First, thank you so much. It's just nice to know there's someone here for me. And to give a little more info, I have a serious problem where if I'm not currently in pain. I don't remember how bad it was. I know everybody does this, but my brain literally checked out as I was going to bed recently and I fell on the floor. I nearly forgot to tell my physical therapist.about it because it didn't really hurt. So, I can't do the pain scale very well, and I never remember (1/2)

(2/2) It just makes it sort of hard for pain relief when I don't know I'm going to need it and don't have the energy when I do. Also, on the vitamin subject, I know that I've had vitamin d issues before (bad heat exhaustion and allergy scares = going outside less), bad enough that I was close to being diagnosed with hypothyroidism. I'm not sure about the others, but I do know I'm not amazing healthy, so? I take calcium pills for the vitamin d, though. Again, thank you guys for all your help.

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We just got a bill from my PT place that says we owe money that we can't pay. They told us up front how much it would be with our insurance, and my mom's been paying each time, but it says we owe 177 dollars. Sure, it's not a lot, but we're not rich and trying to send a sibling to college. If we can't get this sorted out. I can't just not go. 10 exercises I can do at home and 5 appointments is not enough to help a chronic disorder. I cant focus and I have practice in 30 mins. -Hypermobility anon

Same day but later when I'm feeling a little better (my director was very supportive though so that's nice), I'd seen the letter and heard my parents talking a bit, but my mom told be as we got to school for rehearsal about PT. I got upset, and I felt bad because I could tell she felt bad because she didn't expect me to be upset, and in the heat of the moment I said "chronic illness" in front of my mom for the first time. She loudly (not quite yelling) (1/?) - Hypermobility anon

said to me "That is the most self-pitying thing I've ever heard. Chronic illnesses are like cancer". Sure, I probably should've said disorder and not illness, but I'm scientifically right. Then I said "It is, it's chronic pain, I am always in pain" and she said "Well then clearly PT isn't helping anyway" - I??? When I went in after 15 minutes after another girl, since we were both there for an hour and a half, I decided to stop trying too much to hide my crying (useful masks) (2/?) -HSD anon

since the other girl was in the hall to eat, and when I managed to explain to the director, she was understanding and nice, and when I said chronic, she said that I should never have to live with that, especially at my age. And when I mentioned not being able to sing at that moment from my crying, she pointed out how I was singing an empowering song that was about standing against the bad stuff in life, and I was perfect for it. I know my mom was just mad, but it just drained me.

Sorry I keep sending asks so often, I just feel like telling someone this. I decided to put 'zebra' in my bio. It's a thing that people with EDS and HSD sometimes like to call themselves. I like it, so even though I just have my name and pronouns, plus a random joke, in my bio, I added it. It just feels like a step in the right direction to remembering that I don't need google to tell me I'm dealing with this every 5 minutes. Accepting it, I guess. :) -HSD anon

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My sleep schedule just keeps getting worse and I think it's my ADHD combined busy days and pain but I just never want to sleep anymore. I can't, I don't want to, and it hurts physically and mentally to just lie there and see if I can fall asleep. 80% sure my circadian rhythm changed to sleep at about 2 am but I get up at 7 and have a chronic disorder that's getting worse because of this I *need sleep*. And I'm so scared I'll mess up, want to make a side blog for it but want to make one (1/2)

for something happy first because I always figured that if I had side blogs they would be ask blogs or for fandoms or whatever. But I got a little better at not caring what other people think, so I haven't really needed one for fandom. But I looked through the tag and felt so comforted by some of the stuff that I just think it would help me. Maybe I'm just extra bad tonight because I went outside but also talked about it a fair amount with a friend I hadn't seen recently who didn't know. -HSD

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I wanna talk to my physical therapist about hip braces because I tried a knee one we have and it honestly helps, but my hips are worst so I wanna see if it would help, but they're pretty expensive. It's hard to find dual hip braces, from what I've seen in my research, and even though one more than the other, both cause me issues. Idk, I'm conflicted, because it could help but is it worth all the effort? Also, even if it's under clothing it's still physical evidence (1/2) -HSD anon

(2/2) of my "invisible" disorder. Also, stopping exercises for a few days because of not feeling well from my covid shot reminded me of just how much time I spend on them, so it's another thing to deal with this. . . Idk, sometimes I just wonder if it would be better to just deal with it. I still have pain anyway, though it might be a little better. Less often, maybe? I don't really remember. It's not stressing at the front of my mind all the time, but the back of it. I'm just conflicted. -HSD

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HSD anon here, idk if I mentioned it in an ask already, but recently I had a small breakdown because I was watching something where a character was in a car accident, as was trying to push through having trouble walking even with a hip brace. After a minute, I registered it and just thought "That could be my future". My joints had already been acting up and then they got worse, so I don't know if it was cause and effect? But I don't exactly know what to call it other than a trigger. (1/2)

Physical and emotional effect, at least I'm assuming on physical because I've had a bad reaction to something similar before, but like, I don't have trauma, I think it's more fear of the future. And I don't want to use trigger incorrectly, it's insensitive to those who actually have triggers. I'm just so confused.

Forgot to sign the last ask with 2/2 and HSD, whoops.

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Hfnsiwk I'm not ready to walk into PT tomorrow and say that I don't think months of PT have been helping but I have no way to be completely sure because for all I know it's the weather since this is the first year I've known/it's been noticeable. Maybe it's just change, I don't know, but it just feels like such a waste of time if it really didn't help. Plus, I'd stop, and while that'd be great, I do enjoy being stronger, even if it didn't help pain. I have 12 hours and a bad pain day idek. -HSD

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Hi Hypermobility Anon,

I think I found all your asks and got them in the correct order.  And found your last ask!

I’m so glad you kept writing in.  I think you should go ahead and make your side blog - you definitely have enough material for it.  Wanting to make a happy side blog also is a great goal to have, but if you don’t know what it will be yet, don’t let that prevent you from doing something you know you want to do and that will probably help you.  

You are dealing with So. Much.  Your mom especially sounds like she just is not ready to accept the situation.  It’s not self-pity to state your actual conditions.  It’s just reality.  

Forgetting about pain is normal, and really all you can do is try to write it down or make some kind of note about it in the moment or immediately after, so you can refer to it later.  Maybe you can track your pain events in your phone notes.

I think your idea to add “zebra” to your bio is a good one, this is part of your life and just something you have to deal with.  It sounds like you’re finding a community for this.  

Sleep schedules are tricky, and feeling like you desperately need to sleep can make it so stressful that it starts a vicious little cycle.  Some strategies to get around this are First, remember that just resting is okay and helpful too, even if you don’t fall asleep.  Letting your body lay there to rest is good for you.  

Second, if you’ve spent several minutes laying down without falling asleep, its okay to get up and walk around, or any small light exercise that’s comfortable for you.  The goal with this one is to get out of the bed for a bit.  It will help your brain to re-learn that the bed is for sleeping only, not for laying awake.  That association can help signal to your brain to start its sleep-process when you get into bed at night.

Third, it’s really common to have a changing circadian rhythm during your teens and twenties.  That’s just a thing that happens and you can’t do much about it, so just try not to worry too much.  Sleep when it feels right and when you can, instead of trying to force yourself to sleep when you’re “supposed” to.  

If hip braces would help you, you should definitely at least mention it to your physical therapist.  You might research online for any used ones as well.  A physical sign that you have pain can have good and bad consequences, but I think the good consequence of being in less pain far outweighs any others.

The triggering event you described is not so much a trigger as it is just a genuinely really upsetting situation.  You related really strongly to the character you were watching, because they’re dealing with similar problems to you, and to problems you could have in the future.  It’s a lot to process.  But while you could potentially be in a car accident, remember that television is made to dramatize events and probably made it seem a lot more difficult and scary than it really would be.   

Since we know you sometimes forget your pain, it’s safe to say that the exercises are helping you manage it, and you say that they’ve made you stronger in general.  Those are good things, and I would recommend you continue the exercises you can do on your own even if you end of ending  your physical therapy sessions.  We don’t know yet if your pain might have gotten even worse without therapy.  You’ll have to find that out on your own if you stop exercising, and then decide whether it’s more worth it to you to continue exercising or to live with the pain.  Whichever you choose, it’s Your choice, Your body.  Take care of yourself. <3

-bun

[sortagaysortahigh]

My body will not allow me to sleep and at this point i think im gonna go on a walk and see the sunrise. Also lol not to just randomly unpack my life on the dahs at 5 o clock on the dot but i broke up w my cheater bf (shocker i slept with him again after the breakup bc im a dumb bitch) and i cant tell if im not letting myself hurt or if it genuinely doesnt hurt. Also my life is falling apart while falling together, ive lost two family friends (they were older ie my friends grandma and my “great aunt”) in the past couple weeks, ive been smacked with so much bullshit and honestly i think ive realized that i spend too much time trying to earn good karma in life that i literally stop prioritizing myself bc i prioritize othwrs so im back in the “bitch get to know you, you do you” stage of shit rn. My psychiatrist and my therapist both think id benefit from meds but they can suck my ass becuase i hate them both, i only see them specifically bc my insurance doesnt cover the ppl i wanna see and bc its hard enough getting help w my family-if i broke the news that i stopped seeing these cunts id probably get disowned which isnt the issue but id bw homeless which would then cause issues. So ykno gotta take one for the team-the team being myself here. Thats apart of adulthood. Being an adult fuckin blows guys its really shit and anyone still in highschool reading this-bro (gender neutral bro-you get what i mean) take your time with life and dont rush through shit bc after highschool life gets 10x more complicated and obnoxious. Also take college courses instead of AP courses-AP courses look good on transcripts but are a literal waste of time and a total gamble to see if theyd be worth college credit in the end. Also theyre way harder than half the gen eds you actually take in college, plus AP teachers are usually dicks and your classmates have superiority complexes when in reality hslf of them already peaked. Oh and fucking floss, dental bills are expensive. Like literally bitch you might be depressed or going through it rn but lemme tell you-take care of your teeth even if its the only thing you do today because i just paid a fucking $800 dental bill that ive been putting off for months bc i needed a shitty root canal-not to mention the deep clean and fucking other bullshit. Being an adult is an expensive load of bullshit and quite frankly im tired of it. Ok bye besties

[tired-wolfe]

So I used https://heydoctor.goodrx.com a few days ago because I will die of a UTI before I pee in a cup. I cant. I lock up, its uncomfortable and hard to do. I was at the point of actually feeling really shitty from this, and decided I needed help. I could have used my insurance on a walk in visit to the clinic down the street but I couldnt walk there on a full bladder and I need to be bursting by the time i get there or the cup isnt getting filled.  So I googled help for it and found them. It was only $30 for an online visit. It was a questionaire they asked, they were trans friendly, and I didnt need to pee in a cup. [why cant walk in clinics be this easy?] And they gave me a prescription to send to any pharmacy near me, and even offered coupons to get my medicine filled, luckily with insurance i didnt need to pay for the medicine out of pocket and forwent the coupons. 

But I recommend. they treat other things too. Examples: Coronavirus (currently 0$), Cold Sore, Quitting smoking, Hepatitis C Screening, Pre-Diabetes testing, Finding out your blood type, High cholesterol, birth control, tuberculosis, HIV testing, Acne, and Pregnancy tests. And theres more. And all seem really reasonably priced, and you enter a chat client to talk to doctor directly after the questionaire. Its worth it I think.

[atlasoftripp]

Hello! How did you become an EMT that's really cool cause I wanna work in medical field but also the whole track to be a Real Doctor thing is..... very long and very expensive and very long, is being an EMT something that would be faster? How is the pay? Thank you

hey there! so, I totally get the doctor thing being crazy long. I was really undecided in college, and did all 4 years of undergrad with the intent on going to medschool, but burned the hell out year 3, limped into year 4 and dragged into year 5....at that point i was like, i cannot do more school.

so for me getting my EMT - Basic was literally one part time semester. I took courses and then a test. 

but it really depends on your background. those two classes are the minimum for getting your certificate for basic. you do like, a 6 hour class 4 or 5 days a week thats broken into 3hrs book learning then 3hrs lab. then a second class usually covering cpr and other practical skills but are hosted by national organizations, aka the american heart association 

but really its dependent on if youre going to pass the book part of the test with the bare minimum run through of that 6hr class. a lot of people dont because they need a little more background in anatomy and etc.  

the best way to tell if youre going to be okay, is head to your closest barnes and nobles...or equivalent.  i know theyre harder to find but its worth it. find an emt basic book in the college book section and like, give it a go looking through. are you following along in the terms? if youre not, thats okay! but do you think if you spent a few hours with this book you’d be able to start picking it up? cuz if you can with just some extra outside of class work, then youve prob got the background to do just the basic classes and take that test

heres the hard part. if youre not....thats still okay. if you are getting overwhelmed or frustrated or worried you wont be able to learn this stuff....it will be okay

you can do it, you just may need more guided learning. if your style isnt i can teach myself, even on stuff ive never heard of, then maybe you need like, one extra class, throw an anatomy class in there. it could end up helping you so so much because you’re getting taught the basic and terms you’d need for a background in medicine without it all being crammed into one singular chapter in the beginning of your EMT class. did i forget to mention that? all the basic bio and anatomy stuff was one chapter. the very first day of my EMT class. so maybe you need a bit more background! thats cool. i had 5 years of unsure what i want dithering as my background...taking one extra class is totally normal lol

the test itself has been described as both hard and easy...honestly i think it depends on the person. theres a state and a national version....quite frankly it is more impressive to get the national certificate. also, it comes with a cool iron on badge when you pass, and that sweet sweet merch validation was cool. anyways. the test was 2 part. computerized, where it adapted to you. meaning you get them wrong and it zings you back to easy question. you get a certain number right in a row they get harder. and theres some kind of ratio of you have to get a certain number right, and cant get more than so many wrong. frankly it was kinda weird and nerve wracking for me. 

then there is the hands on part of the test. i was kinda nervous about it, but its a good way of testing if you have the mentality for the job. i was nervous right up until some fake fainted in front of me. and like, i knew it was fake but something just...flipped. i knew what to do, i knew how to help, and everything youve learned comes roaring out of you. (it becomes a part of you so much so that a year down the line when you are in a line for a roller coaster and someone passes out you may be there to Have Fun but you are now there to Help)

as far as the pay. it is decent as a basic, youre looking at anywhere between 12 to 18 dollars. its got that range cuz sometimes you get hired as a security guard with basic emt training cuz they want someone in a building at night that ticks all the boxes for insurance purposes. and sometimes you get hired into your local fire department right away. finding jobs is a lot wider of a spectrum than you think. you can work in ER receiving...you can work for a private ambulance company.with emt, the more you learn, the more valuable you get.  

hope that helps!

[314thagoras]

Medication Journal Entry #2

update on amitriptyline; this drug is shit. glorified benadryl/promethazine type shit. woke up with a pounding migraine which is ironic because its supposed to treat migraines and headaches. i find it ironic medications which are supposed to treat X sometimes enable X to happen. 

anyway, I was convinced i was dopesick for a minute since i’ve been on a china white binge even though it wouldn’t quite make sense since my last dose was last night. i even had heartburn when i woke up. my head felt stuffed and every step i took felt like a pounding inside my head and all i could do was lay there with a wet dish rag over my head, refusing to take any other drug besides aspirin and klonopin in fear that any other painkiller i took might just make it worse somehow and then incur a rebound migraine. 

did some experiments and confirmed it wasn’t from the binge. It didn’t feel like withdrawal symptoms anyway.

never touching this shit again. it did do its job in knocking me out a lil but it just feels like diphenhydramine so i dont get the point in having a script of this. its only 1 buck to pick up with my insurance and its not even worth the 1 dollar for 30 of these pills. For whatever reason, I find medication that works like this dehydrate the fuck out of you and quickly dehydrating while you are asleep is the recipe for a perfectly excruciating headache.

I should see if i can get ambien to see if it would finally stabilize my sleep schedule. annoyingly, doctors are very cautious and would rather never prescribe two or more narcotic medications at once but as far as my psychiatrist knows i do not portray drug-seeking behavior. I’ve been seeing him for almost a year now and have yet to request a dose increase or any narcotics for that matter and i bring my mother in time to time. it helps him see I have someone who cares about me who won’t enable me to abuse or self medicate. Admittedly its just been an illusion i put on to get what i need. I have an earlier journal entry which explains why i have only increased my dose once the whole time i’ve been on clonazepam with the current psychiatrist i’m seeing, even though the psych i’m seeing is a private doctor who is paid pretty well and kinda doesn’t challenge too much about what I ask for, like I said before, he works with me but also informs me about side-effects and long-term side effects, but not in a way to scare me, more so to inform.

I also have the option of seroquel as stated in the past. I was prescribed for it for my insomnia but in the end what I really want is something that augments my benzodiazepine prescriptions better OR works well enough to feel like i don’t need benzos as much during the day and then use benzos for late P.M which is usually when my anxiety is the worst sometimes. dunno why. ends up keeping me awake up until about 4 AM going on 5 and screwing up my whole schedule if i’m not taking a high enough dose of benzos at night.. Just another example why I really do need a dose increase but I’m hoping a switch to valium or xanax at the equivalent dose of kpins im on will be enough to avoid increasing my dose, as much as in the end, i really want to. 

TL;DR  amitriptyline tends to sometimes be kinda shitty, other times its not bad. nothing to write home about. Need to phone my doctor to figure out why im still getting clonazepam from the pharmacy when we both decided to move me on alprazolam. considering syraquel, ambien or zoloft. I have a friend who was just put on zoloft this month and he cant recommend it enough, said its helped him cut down on other self medication he usually uses. 

[kf14wxbw-blog]

How much does your insurance go up after getting a underage?

How much does your insurance go up after getting a underage?

does anyone know how much the rates will go up? I didn t have my license when i received the underage and i still don t. I ve never drove a vehicle. i don t have my license yet and im most likely not going to because my parents have told me the car insurance goes up now. I ve looked online and it says that rates can double or triple. thank you for your answers.

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :car4insurance.xyz

SOURCES:

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[stunt-lads]

hey heres an update on my life

tl;dr i need money help and commissions are open (examples here and here! <-- those are more recent than the first set) 

and for anyone interested i can do written stuff as well just hmu via messenger here and we can work out the deets! (examples for that here)

Soo in late may, after a doctors appointment and literally around the corner from our home, my mom was pulled over. 

we have no insurance on the car and luckily she wasnt arrested and the car wasnt impounded but we arent legally allowed to drive it and if she is caught driving it its grounds for arrest. 

she has a court date on July 13th iirc (im not home and cant check the exact date right now) but we have no way to get their other than my grandmother who is 

really fucking pissed off at my mom for some reason? but like the options were pay rent or car insurance and a house is more important to us and i guess she thinks thats offensive

ANYWAY we're hurting for money because we need insurance as well as extra cash for whatever the court fees may be. and like, my mom has a job but she cant go to it because we dont have a car. (and my grandma, once again was hounding me but this time behind my back, about getting a job again, LIKE BITCH HOW WOULD I EVEN GET TO WORK YOU DUMB FUCK) 

on top of that jazz we have no hot water. again. this time its likely a pipe burst because theres just a steady stream of water and the sound of running water constantly. now granted the pipes are as old as the trailer which iirc is from the 70s so like. yea this was always gonna be an issue but its at the literal worst time. 

we also have gotten shut off notices from the gas company, electric company, and internet provider. which is the least concern right now, ive been using our neighbors internet (bless them) and thats taken care of for now (of course we will have to pay it anyway or else theyll send collectors after us but it can wait honestly). the electricity is the highest priority because if you have ever lived in an old trailer you'll know theyre made of metal. 

and what does metal do when the sun beats on it because the trailer park cut down all our shade trees? it heats up like a fucking oven. (it was literally 92 in our house one day even with all three of our fans and AC on high.) its so unsafe for my mom and i, because of our medications, and our poor cat who has super thick fur so even just a bit of relief with the fans and AC is a godsend, hence the need for electricity. 

on top of that i have no proof ive quit my job and while the government had no problem finding out i had a job and cut our food stamps, they suddenly cant read or invade our personal lives to find out im unemployed again so our food stamps are still super low as though im still working. 

my mom and i live on her disability check which is barely $800, our lot rent for our trailer park is a little over $500 and we're just having a hard time. 

ive opened commissions for half price, i cant go lower than that though, its just not worth it if i do, i mean, im already offering my art for literal pennies at this point because im so desperate. 

if y'all could spread this around i would be super grateful. im hesitant to take donations because that feels like stealing to me sorry;; at least this way im working for any cash i may make 

[mylifeisboderline]

Omg

Can’t believe how hard it is for me to leave the house alone. Certain things I can do. Like grocery shopping. I went to Best Buy the other day. I dont know why but if I’m dressed nicely but low key I usually feel comfortable in target. But new places are the hardest. I actually never get to them. I cant even make a call to get the health insurance I need.

I was staying in an apartment that was my own place and I find Im more likely to do things for myself. But now im back on my sisters couch searching for a job. Its still like im invisible to her even though Im right here on her own couch. How am I going to be able to take care of myself? Be a productive member of society. Sometimes I think how people literally are doing something almost every hour of the day. They have meetings and go out to lunch then hit the gym and etc etc. They are normal. Making or having friends. Taking instagram pics. I wanna be normal. I wanna have clothes that make me feel like im worth something. I dont want my self esteem to be so low that I cant wear anything besides a tshirt and jeans because I dont want to be noticed. My sisters doing coke again. Her and her boyfriend have been fighting and making up. Shes worried hes using her. She makes all the money and he just quit his job. Hes always making mistakes. I think he is too and she should just leave. They stay uo and do coke then sleep all day. Her daughter has been calling me mama but I think sometimes she just uses that word to tell you what she wants. Or to get your attention. I think they need to spend more time with her. And when shes out running around they need to interact with her more. But in a lot of other ways shes spoiled. I just wanna spend more time with my sister. I need emotional help and her support. She walks in and barely says anything to me, always promising that we will hang out and get out of the house (which I also need someone to go with me anyways) and then doesnt follow through. She told me to move down here and I can stay in her other empty apartment. But now thats in jeopardy so here I am. She never talks to me or lets me talk to her about my feelings my anxiety. Yet I work everything through with her about her boyfriend. Shes so self centered and inconsiderate. But also I love her very much. I wanna get some clothes so I can be half way decent enough to go on a date with this girl. Shes beautiful and lovely and very successful. Shes pre law and in a soriety. She also seems to dress in a very popular style. And I just feel like a faliure next to her. No job. No higher education. People judge you for that. I just wanna at least look nice. It gives an elusion. But I also think she may not be as shallow. But I wanna empress and I dont want her to see my anxiety and how Im a hermit. I seem to only be comfortable “going out” like for fun if Im going out drinking and dancing with my sister. I wasted a lot of my klonopin. And I need the rest for an interview. I have this dumb tattoo on my hand. Itll probably ruin my chances. She texted just as I was writing about her. I dont know her but I can tell Id be proud to bring her home.

Ive gained my weight back since leaving my dads. His girlfriend was so cruel I went from 130 to 99.6. Mocking me for my suicide attempt in the past.

I literally drove myself into a wall. Back off. Two hour “family meetings” over a missing dish rag. Lying on me. Threatening to call the cops over nothing.

I feel like trash. And wasted potential. I feel myself getting more stupid.

I was prescribed 100 lamotrigine. I was on it before but they brought it up to 100 recently. The doctor who filled my lastest prescription gave me 200mg so I cant break them in half and theyd last long. I just started take 2 halfs a day. One in morning one at night. Its only been a day. And then I followed up this morning. I hope it helps. I wanna be independent. Financially, yes. But damn it I wanna be able to do what I want with out a babysitter. I dont wanna be dependent on anyone! So now I wanna ignore this girl until our date tonight. In case she asks about what I’m doing. So she doesnt know I dont have a job. So she doesn’t know Im sitting on the couch watching the first episode of the man in the high castle. Hope its good! Should I text her back? Hmmm. Anyways I think I may feel better getting this out.

I wanna move on from my ex and show her ive upgraded. As shallow and stupid as that sounds. I just know I was too good for herm and its been way longer than a year since we were officially together. But I would still see her when her and her girl would break up. She knows im always here waiting to be used. But not anymore. Havent been for a while. Ive sorta been tip toeing out of my shell. I just want her to see me be great cause she brought me down for so long. Is that stupid? Its not my main goal AT ALL. but is it crazy that itd be like..the chocolate drizzle on the fudge sunday?

[moondonky]

Advice

Have a seat, Take a lesson, fuk it why not, for those less privileged its worth the listen.. u dont have to be smart to be successful as to just not being fukin stupid,, u only have to make a few good decisions in life to be successful, to not be jealous of others, never be treated like an option, I would never recommend doing what everyone is doing, look up to people u know, not people u will never know,, when u climb do it alone, don't let people hang on you, don't put on a show, ignore the hoes,, dont be building shit till ur where u want to be at, dont waste money on bullshit so people perceive u different... to me nothing is free,, every convenience every add on is an expense, if u are not making gains u are spending gains,, from cars and insurances, to your entrainment, to your health, to your lifestyle habits, to your expansions of comfort, to your image,, can all cost u your success in the end, hard work can pay off if its not just going toward all that, very quickly u can find urself in the stresses of paycheck to paycheck, find urself stuck and unable to truly save and invest, with everything uve build at risk... so why do it,, none of that is security... add it all up, what else could u be doing with all of it instead of being comfy..

If ur a dude that makes money, be a minamilist lol,, if sum chick passes u up because of that, its you thats truley laughing, , prolly dont want that one anyway,, instead of going on sum fancy date, out clubbing or sum shit, buy a block of silver or sum crypto every week,, instead of renting a bigger place, spending an extra thousand for sq feet of space, or 800 for car payments and insurance and speeding tickets, or brand names, put that shit in the bank, save a down payment for a house or condo, rent it out make someone else pay for it, untill u have kids u don't need it lol, everything u buy u should have every intent of keeping for a long time,, learn to do things so u dont have to pay others to do it for u,, like cooking and changing ur oil, if ur jobs not working out, take sum classes on the side to do sumthing else, promote yourself. Never quit... if u are in relations and ur not still going up, cut that bitch out she's probley a succubus... if u cant handle being alone its because your the succubi bitch... if women are all u can think about, u prolly have a porn addiction,, if your broke its prolly cuz u ain't even trying aint doing shit, being stupid..

If u don't like anything I said, u should read it again, and again and again

After u find success u can do whatever the fuck u want

[diaryofsecrecy]

It has been the most exhausting year of my entire life and I will be surprised if I ever top it...

Brent was having a hard time adjusting to the altitude when we 1st came out here, (July 8th 2020) But as time went on he got better as expected. Then suddenly he got worse and worse, Eventually he lost the job that he got because he was calling out so often throwing up and experiencing extreme nausea.  Because of covid, the doctors were booked for weeks (new patient) so it was just kind of a waiting game until we finally decided to just go to the ER.  They did a full blood panel and decided that he needs to see a GI doctor because everything else is normal. So, That was booked 2 weeks out and he was sent home with nausea medication for one week...

Of course we were going to try to buy or rent so I was freaking out about money and working as much as I possibly could... But then I too had to go to the emergency Room because I had extreme abdominal pain resulting in an emergency appendectomy😖

The day after my surgery, I am home, when my dad comes in with my older sister.

To my knowledge, my older sister was diagnosed paranoid schizofrantic. She has been Homeless for the last 11 years,  And on drugs.  She recently was beaten so badly that she was left with several brain injuries on top of it all, And while she was healing at the hospital somehow they didn't notice her walk out.  We were just about to get her placed somewhere safe...And they lost her.

Anyhow dad walks in with my sister who I guess called him from a coffee shop when they told her that she couldn't sleep there anymore (after a month of being missing again) Dad had to go back to work so then it was me & her for the next 2 days, As you can imagine, not the rest I needed post surgery... then, I had to go back into the hospital because something wasn't right. I was there for 3 more days, 2 days alone because ben was so sick that it was worse with him being there than me sitting by myself in pain and nausea of my own.

Fast forward a few more months, tragic accidents led to 2 separate deaths of my parents dogs. Both events I happen to be present, so get blamed & am no longer welcome at mom & dads.

(Still healing from sugury, brent still very sick)

We get an apartment, and I start working as a nanny for my aunt twice a week while working at Massage Envy the other 5 days.

At this point, I am tired. I am horney, and lonely, and Absolutely. Fucking. Miserable.

I am begging ben to keep up with drs. but he has lost hope of getting better, and I have no way of helping him when I am already worn too thin.

After 9, Long, long months, he eventually, with my consistent pushing, nagging, most likely not always kind remarks, he finds out his hormones are completely off, which I knew would be the case, his dick hadnt worked for the last 3 years properly..

Anyway. He blames his addiction medication rather than continuing dr. Appointments... he gets on testosterone with an outside company(pay out of pocket kind of subscription company...rather than checking insurance, or figuring out what causes low testosterone and fixing that first). I was working and had no influence in any of those choices that effect us both as they have for at least 2 years. He hasnt touched me for so, so, long.

Month 3 of his medication that seems to be working (only reason I know is there was a ton of porn in my google history, he had declined all advances, except the rare, 3 times he allowed a blowjob then left immediately after for the gym or literally anything else rather than make it romantic at all.)

Month 4, he forgets to make a payment at all, so now we owe $250 rather than the normal $100. His meds get sent, then FedEx loses the package all together so, he is sick and I am house sitting in a dream home, alone for 2 weeks straight that originally was going to be our getaway to focus on Us.

At this point, brent and I havnt slept in the same bed for 2 months. At first cause he says I'm mean and he wants to not be near me, but now its cause hes "more comfortable out in the living room..."

A month ago when we last had a conversation about our relationship he said he wants space and a break from me all together. I'm too much.

I am the problem..?

When trying to understand what he means, he shuts down the connvo, saying he cant talk about it anymore. It's been 30 days since we have made any verbal progress. Our fighting has stopped though, and I'll tell you why...

Rewind 1 week before house sitting;

1 week after brent and I had an awful fight where he told me we should take a break, I stay at my parents & My mom offers for me to join them at a graduation party of a kid I used to babysit.

We were sitting in the back of the dining room, out of the way, when I saw someone i slightly recognized in the hallway. Not sure from where, but he was the kind of guy that you couldnt stop looking at. He was clearly into fitness, his shirt couldnt hide the muscular features he had been perfecting either, despite him dressing nothing out of the ordinary. He had beautiful ink crawling up his leg, an artform that would only mean something to someone who is more spiritually awake. But more noticable about anything was that smile.

God that smile. His face was scruffy, as if he had been away, but regardless, the smile he had influenced his entire ora. His eyes smiled, his walk... smiled. He had some kind of thing about him that was a physical draw I had never known for myself before. Dont get me wrong, i have been woo'd by many men so far in my life, from all stages in life, but This one was just, different. He was making his way around the room, & I could hear his voice over my mom who's talking beside me. I had literally been blocked out by my ever wondering thoughts of this random stranger whom felt familiar.

Then, he was there, at our table?

He was so easy to talk to, not even sure how we started now, but all I know is I was not nervous despite my very physical attraction to him.

He spoke of traveling, and adventures hes been on. This guy had a whole other life in the military at one point and now was traveling, working for a company that sends him around the US.

This guy had Hope's and dreams and somehow we got to talking about that kind of thing at a graduation party?

When I left that day, I thought about him. Not just him specifically, but men like him. Had I chosen Brent wrongfully? Does brent even like who I am anymore, what does he want going forward in his own life? How do I even fit into that? He understands my need for adventure but his actions say that he doesnt want to come along. My mind was loopy after that because for the first real time I questioned, what if there was someone who wanted to see the world,  Who liked my sad music, and my emotions being in everything I do? What if there was a women more interested in the simple home life, having a couple dogs and living a small, comfortable life? Are we doing one another a disservice by occupying oneanother's lives? How could I ever bring that up with Brent at all without making him feel so inadiquite after a year of terrible sickness and defeat?

Well, when I went to that big, gorgeous dream home the following week to house sit for 2 weeks... begging him to come see me, I grew weak from overthinking. I cried, I cried so much the first 3 days.

I cried from a place of such sadness, anger, bitterness, defeat, they were so strong. My mind was cloudy, drunk, stoned, tired.... I found myself writing a suicide letter.

My plan was to disappear, I knew I'd find a firearm in the home & allow someone to find my remains eventually in the hills where I'd walk far enough.

I prepared by cleaning the litterbox, laying out several bowls of water for the dog and cat, and watered all the plants heavily. I transfered brent all the money in my bank accounts, and as I waited for the sheets to come out of the dryer I balled my eyes out, reading the last conversations I had had with my family members. I thought to myself how the kids would take it, what different life choices they would make having been close with someone before their passing. At this point, I needed something, but I needed it from someone who doesnt know me in my life right now, but the me that was worth saving. The me I still recognized.

I called an old friend from 2nd grade. Hadnt talked to her in years and years, didnt known her life, her schedual, her name(which had been changed). But she talked me down. She saved my fucking life. It took a person who knew my soul years ago, to remind me I am not alone.

I dont blame my parents, or who I thought would be my future husband. I had talked with my aunt earlier that day and she couldnt see it either. I had become this fake shell of a person and it took considering an actual murder of myself to make me see that if I continued this path, I would die eventually and nobody in my life would ever see me preparing for it.

That night, I invited a complete stranger over and we fucked like rabbits. 4 times. He got to do things he'd never done before, and I begged him to. Sounds cold, sounds unapologetically disgusting that I'd do something like that, but quite frankly, I FUCKING needed it. I needed someone to see me, even if he didnt see my current life nor care about me as a person... he saw, touched, kissed, sucked and ate me up. For the first time in at least 2 years, i felt satisfaction when I walked him to the door and watched his car drive away.

It was like a sigh of relief, an inch I could not reach for the longest time, gone. Finally.

The following days, brent began putting in more effort. It has been 3 weeks and I'd say he has been kinder to me than he had in a while (probably the lack of testosterone) but also, I havnt seen much of him in general. From his point of view, it is all fine. Hes getting the space he needed, I'm being nicer since I quit massage Envy, and things are looking up....

But that is because he doesnt See Me.

My suisidal thoughts subsided after my long conversation with Scout. & that night I called my cousin as well, and learned he too had been in my shoes before. He said something that stuck with me.

If everyone has an expiration date on their life already, and we don't know when it is, you're to the point that you're life is so invaluable that youd kill yourself than flee your life and make one you want. Dont care about the people youd hurt, because suicide is just as careless as abandoning them all indefinitely.

He was so right, it put things into perspective, gave me a freedom I felt I was waiting to gain permission for.

Five days later, I noticed He had written me 5 before, on the day I had truly planned to end my current life..

He had written me at 12am, what would someone like him, a gorgeous, beefed out, big thinker, high energy, go getter be doing messaging me, a tired women who was 300lbs a year ago, (still working on getting to a normal size) and completely at a crossroads with existance.

I entertained the connvo a tad, and honestly forgot about it for a few days as I figured no way he could be serious.

He triple messaged me, and asked for my personal contact info to have real conversation?

Hesitantly, and wildly excited to even just flirt for a moment with someone who is literally everything I fantasize when I'm alone everynight....

Our conversation immediately took off. In directions I hadnt expected at all what so ever. He told me he had to admit he felt drawn to me, like he had known me in another life. That he doesnt expect me to get it, but I did. We talked about things that only my sister and I can relate to on a spirituality standard and it changed me in that instant. Suddenly i realize, I wasn't broken, I was just misunderstood. & that there are people in this world that See Me even when I am not trying. Not many, and it takes a specific Kind of person, but they do exist and when you meet them, you cant ignore it. It is as if they stain you with remembrance.

As the sexually hungry humans we are, not only did we find that morality, values, future goals coexist, but also our importance of intimacy. Not just lust and sex, well, yes that too, uff did those conversations get so, fucking, hot, but the interactions of intimacy and how they make a person whole.

I opened up to him about Brent, and where I am at in life, asking he please oversee my unfaithfulness, but that I am loyal at heart. He says with such pain in his voice how he too in a parallel position simultaneously, however, he married her 7 years ago.

Ugh.

So now I get to choose. Do I chose mortality, say no, brent and the other women deserve to understand the severity of sex, love and passion, and if they chose not to then we will leave before we act on our mutual attraction....? Or, do we say hell with it and give in to serendipity moments that our hearts crave so badly, take on the consequences and move forward. Sigh. If only there was a guideline for complicated.

Last night, as the 5 nights before, we talked for hours on the phone. His voice makes me smile every, damn, time. Perhaps because it's new and exciting, or maybe I just love to hear him go on his tangents of loving yourself despite the bad in life. I Want him. I want him when I wake, &when I go to sleep. I do not want a life without him& it saddens me to know our timing is incorrect. He asked her for a divorce a year ago, but has sat comfortably as I have despite the horror because weve both been too busy, too tired, too... afraid that life will always be lonely. Last night, he said to me, Elise, I love you. I avoided it several times but when he said it two more times, I couldnt keep it any longer to myself, Jackson, I really do Love you as well. It's scary, and faster than I'd ever say it to anyone. But I know it to be true because I Feel it. I want his love so badly. I want him to live life along side of me because with a person like him, I'd be a better me.

I am absolutely terrified. My life, my home, my family, dogs, my 5 year relationship, the unborn children brent and I have named, and the houses we'd have... all gone?

Running away with a man who says hes going to leave his wife is absolutely stupid. I'd be an idiot to think I am enough to get him through that fear of change, yet he gives me strength to want to try, so maybe I do, Him?

Ugh my brain being pulled in many ways. My heart having been in pieces so many times now doesnt know who to go to or why. I know for certain I love Brent, is this a self gratifying moment To push me back to him? Is this the devil bringing two lost people together to ruin four people at once?or is this Fate. Fate that has seen both of us individually loosing ourselves in a life we didnt want and has brought us together to lean on one another, temporarily not?

Suppose time will tell.

Last two days he has been working a ton, and told me that tomorrow he has something he needs to talk to me about.

I assume it isnt good. I assume it is the first put off of many, because, I know I want to do the same. Part of me says I should block him right now, because lust, and attraction, both mentally and physically like that couldnt make a women addicted and that's a no good addiction when he has a women in his house with his last name. 😔

[dustybunny]

ramble bramble

So I know people have already said this before and stuff but I kinda wanted to put in my quarter and see what happens lol

OH before you keep reading, I’m on mobile as I write this and cannot add a read more break so!! IF YOU HAVENT PLAYED/ARE DODGING SPOILERS FOR EPISODE IGNIS IM SO SORRY I CANT HIDE THEM AT THE MOMENT////

I’ll be tagging this as well so please don’t get mad at me ; ~ ;

So here we go!

After thinking about it and comparing the bros dlcs it’s more then blatantly obvious that Gladio got jipped. Ok yea fighting and beating a giant one armed samurai dude to prove your worth was pretty cool, but it feels like there should’ve been more.

Prompto was able to not only come to terms with being a clone, but also start becoming independent and not so needing of the others just to prove himself.

Ignis bends over backwards to save the one person he cares about the most, not because it’s his job, but because he’s his brother. And not only that, but insuring he won’t lose him to some shitty god logic.

But then there’s Gladio— undergoing a trial to prove his worthiness of being a Shield despite facing death as the moderately high likely outcome if he fails. That’s it.

With the other two bro dlcs, they’re structured around the respective bro, with both also being a way to work on something in the future. Kinda like a emotional bankrupting gaming experience of a Dr Phil episode, but somehow worse. (I’m still crying please send help)

So with that in mind, Episode Gladio is seemingly out of place and not quite the same quality as the others. You could argue the later dlcs were merely buffed up in an attempt to win back the players and fan base.

But what if that’s exactly how it was supposed to be...?

Quickly, I re-evaluated Gladio’s character— strong, intelligent resourceful guy who is a survivalist and is pretty headstrong. He tends to analyze, and seeming to be lacking in empathy in certain events (cue the train scene) Moreover, he is the King’s sworn Shield, a job he trained for his whole life and takes very seriously.

And that last part makes his episode make that much more sense. While temporarily, he leaves the group to prove himself after being ragdolled by Ravus. Not only does he succeed, but also is able to retrieve the sword Cor lost when he attempted the trials.

It makes sense... but still feels off.

Let’s fast forward a bit.

During Episode Ignis, if you play along with Ardyn and risk your life to defeat him, the trash man leaves, thanking his immortality and lovingly telling Ignis he’s gonna die while Noctis finds him. Thankfully the group does and just in time, but one thing about the scene just ripped my heart out.

Gladio, in an attempt to hold back tears, watching over a tired and fading Ignis, gives a ferocious, emotional roar, “What were you thinking?!!”

Granted I was already sobbing my eyes out and was also exhausted from trying to make Swiss cheese out of the resident garbage lord numerous times, I seriously cannot tell you how badly that one line wrecked me.

And then it suddenly got me thinking.

Just how often does Gladio allow himself to be himself?

To review, Gladio spent his whole life training to protect a future king. He descends from a heavily militarized background, and for gods sake his own father fought in a war alongside his king to help bring peace. He’s got a pair of ginormous shoes he has to fill.

So when the bros are faced with difficult decisions, what does Gladio do?

Exactly what he tells Noctis on the way to commune with Titan.

His job. There’s not much else he knows.

It’s that one line during Episode Ignis that solidified it for me—

Gladiolus Amicitia, sworn Shield to Chosen King Noctis, is shit for luck at his own emotional control.

During the whole game, Gladio doesn’t break. Won’t even allow himself to. He’s constantly working, putting all his years of training into overdrive, trying to do what he spent his entire life on.

Everyone else in the group breaks at least a little. Even Ignis, when he has to tell Noctis what’s happened to Insomnia at the beginning of the game, is clearly heartbroken and not his normal sturdy self.

But Gladio doesn’t. Not in the way everyone else does.

His breaks are seldom, and sometimes really hard to pick up on when you aren’t looking for them.

His general hatred toward Niflheim, his snaps at Noctis during the Titan climb and on the train, his sudden distress when separated from the prince in the keep after defeating the daemon that ambushed him and his recently blinded friend. His line when he finds a nearly dead Ignis.

The only thing he seems to do for selfish reason is fighting. Hunting and taking down daemons, MTs, whatever. It’s the only way for him to release his emotions, turning it all into rage to destroy whatever he’s in front of that’s trying to kill him or his king.

It’s his only way to cope with what the fuck is going on.

His dad is murdered, his home destroyed, everything he knew turned on its head. And he doesn’t even flinch. Just keeps going, pushing onwards, focusing on being a worthy Shield. Analyzing and tactically moving forward. It’s what he knows. Buries everything else, even his own emotions to march on.

It what he has to do. It’s what he was trained for.

Gladio reacting to Noctis grieving Luna’s death was a mix of trying to do the thinking for the prince and himself. He couldn’t let his own building pain beat him. So he did his job. Keep moving forward. It’s when he lashes out that he breaks, and quickly tries to catch himself, choking down his feelings to keep going.

Keep. Fucking. Going.

That’s why Episode Gladiolus is so different. Instead of conquering some inner demon, he’s focused on the trial. To prove himself as a Shield. Swallowing down and shoving away his emotions, refusing to let them even touch the surface. It’s not that he couldn’t win, but rather forces himself to bury it away. Focus on the job. The only thing he’s known his whole life.

As much as I love all the boys, Gladio is by far the one I worry about the most. In future dlcs, I’m scared to see what’ll happen to him. If one focuses on him again, what are we gonna see? If it’s in the ten year skip, will we finally see him snap? All that time, bottling up everything, will he finally let it burst?

Ughh as much as I love this game it makes me think so much about all the poor kids involved in it # ~ #

And tbh I just want gladio to be happy. Lemme spoil me good boi, god damn it. There’s a very good reason I have an embarrassing surplus of ramen on my game and it’s so I can at least make my poor tol a little happy.

Hhhhh but that’s all my thoughts ;w;

Hopefully it makes sense. Mobile app is making it dangerously hard to revise and review //orz

And if you got this far, thank you for reading !! ;w;<33

hope you have a lovely day !! <33

[salyardskatalyna]

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life insurance class. With its unique life insurance app, you can easily pay your claims, view insurance options, view policy details, pay your bill, track your driving record, and more. As a leader in finance for many years, from its early beginnings in London to offer insurance professionals a platform for trading, risk management, and insurance claims. today to gain insight into what policy offerings are available in your state and a quote for insurance professionals. The uses a proprietary, proprietary, and licensed methodology to evaluate life insurance claims satisfaction for insurers, assess their credit rating, and calculate their customer credit score while providing quotes on product offerings from various companies. Learn more about its insurance products and get a free online quote. The majority of the are offered through more than and are available through multiple partners. It might seem like the best option is to find an agent. life insurance class? One of the methods you have described is just like this, but it involves purchasing some kind of property for the purpose of making a claim. Once you purchase a car, your insurance will determine if you want to provide it. You might have chosen not to take out a policy because it would be a bit costly. However, if you are financing the purchase of an expensive vehicle, you would want a policy that would provide adequate coverage. This is one of the reasons the cost of an insurance policy is very high at a certain value, depending on the value of the vehicle. Once the policy is purchased, you can be paid for that work. Some states like California require that car owners purchase auto insurance for any driver involved in an automobile-related accident. The only difference between car insurance policies is that if the driver is uninsured, they will still be liable for all damages. Here are the state minimums required to buy car insurance in New Hampshire: All drivers, regardless of their coverage status,. life insurance class. The insurance costs you incur are based on your age and gender. We are not experts on life insurance, so we can’t provide you or your family with an accurate estimate. The insurance cost could be relatively high or low, but it is generally the same size. If you can’t live without life insurance, consider a company that offers a variety of retirement funds for your family members and the death benefit. Some of these companies offer tax-free insurance, but you might be better served using an independent life insurance agency. As a matter of fact, no one company ever asks for your permission to use their policy to take out life insurance on you. This leaves you exposed to lawsuits, which is exactly why we make it extremely easy to apply for a life insurance policy. The first step in making the decision on life insurance is choosing the best provider. The best life insurance policy choices have a wide range of companies that you should consider. Your carrier can review the various policies through.

How to Get the Best Life Insurance Rate

How to Get the Best Life Insurance Rate If you’ve completed your undergraduate education and have just made your way to get your life insurance in good standing with an insurance broker or financial advisor, you might be wondering: Can I drop insurance? For those who think it can’t be easier to quit your job after working your life, it might be time to take the next step. Let’s be honest here, and let’s pretend you re a single mother. And if you die, you don t even know what you re going to pay your monthly insurance bill. Let s assume you die by suicide, meaning you don’t have health coverage for yourself, or you are unable to qualify for another life insurance policy until you’re ready to set about running a business. You can never really predict the future, but if you don’t have the money to support a family on your own, you should at least get your own separate insurance policy. Life insurance isn t an investment on.

Do all insurers use the same classes?

Do all insurers use the same classes? I m curious to see how this works to you. I have a question and I m really curious since both of my parents had hepatitis C infection. I m wondering if I have 2 names and the first would be the insurance and the second the name would be an insurance. Can you help me? I have questions about this. Hello. I have a little sister in one of my car insurance policies. I just passed out in the emergency and they have no medical information on it. So does your insurance cover her in her vehicle in the event of an accident? Thanks. I cant see how in these situations the first party is covered by the second party and the second party is not. My sister was at the time who is deceased in a car crash. She has no record of this being an accident. She just got my car and had it in the states of California. Is it really an accident? Is there anything out there that says it is an accident? Hello. A friend.

Understand the Life Insurance Risk Classes

Understand the Life Insurance Risk Classes and the Types of Coverage you are Considering. What is the best life insurance to cover your family if you leave them for their entire lives? You are probably interested in having different life insurance policies on each of your family members. Let’s get these details. There are things that you might consider such as as part of the . These allow you to pay the insurance company a flat sum. However, there are a number of ways to cover your child, which can be a good choice. This can vary by the insurance company, with some even covering them with a . The biggest thing you can do is take out a . For example, you could use , which is an extra type of life insurance for family members under one or two families. Or, you could take out separate policies on a child you leave with them. These allow this kind of interaction between your children, with more benefits for the company, and one another. This type of life insurance costs less than a regular policy on.

How long have insurers used the underwriting class system?

How long have insurers used the underwriting class system?  No, it’s not as long as it could possibly be.  There are some areas of the insurance industry that are quite competitive.  The underwriting class system is about as competitive as your insurance provider can get. I am looking forward to seeing what the new rules will look like for underwriting on life insurance policies. I am currently doing a lot of research on different types of life insurance policies. I can’t get any of them working out for my purposes. I can’t get any of them working out for my purposes. It still sounds very high to be hoping I can get coverage when the time comes 🙂 It sounds so high that you may be able to get some life insurance on 1/2…1/3…1/2…1/3…1/3…1/2…1/2… I can’t get any of those listed on a life insurance policy.  You’ll need an insurance company to.

How Your Risk Class Affects Your Life Insurance Rate

How Your Risk Class Affects Your Life Insurance Rate Class Male/Female $5,000-$25,000/$50,000 Choosing the best life insurance company can result in a huge number of consumer questions. The best insurance company is a customized one that you want to protect. The company has different products and can make a huge amount more sense for you. That’s why it’s important to do your research ahead of time. This section will help you understand the types of insurance coverage available. We will explain the coverage, costs, discounts, and discounts on life insurance and choose a plan that is based on your unique risk factors. If you are young and in good health and your parents are from the U.S. Military, there are some companies that can offer you a coverage. However, the best plan for you will depend on your family’s situation, goals, goals, and budget. This section will be helpful in some cases. The list of the best life insurance.

How the Life Insurance Underwriting Process Works

How the Life Insurance Underwriting Process Works for You. The goal of the insurance company is to validate your health and lifestyle based on the results of the life insurance underwriting process. Because there are so many variables involved here, you want everyone to have the best experience possible on the insurance application. Your health history can also affect the insurance underwriting. The first step after applying is to call your life insurance company and ask if there are any safety precautions to take. The most important thing that the team will do is not forget anything about your health. If it is not important, ask that you check if there is any medical or health questions that have been asked. Your life insurance medical exam is designed to give it multiple health screening tests to determine your overall health. As we age, we have a higher risk that may cause us to miss out on the great deal of life insurance. If you do not have good health, you may end up being declined for your life insurance. When evaluating your life insurance policies for the purpose of giving you.

Life insurance for people with a life

Life insurance for people with a life-threatening accident or injury — a plan that could cause loss of your income and medical expenses — life insurance is necessary to protect loved ones in case of the unexpected. Your life insurance company can offer coverage at no added cost that can include: Bundle up $100,000 $500,000 (personal effects policy) Unlimited benefits such as paid time off and trip protection. If you have a medical condition, it’s worth getting a quote from multiple insurers to see if all its policies can fit your needs. Some have special pricing specifically for the condition, and others say it’s not worth it. Read our to find out more about life insurance and what it can mean for your financial future. Life insurance is sold over the phone. That’s a mistake. People can not purchase . One of the best things about life insurance is that the premium never goes up. Insurance brokers in my.

Nifty Life Insurance Calculator

Nifty Life Insurance Calculator for on the right by comparing quotes you could get a quote right now. This is also a great option. The most important piece of information you can give is to your best friend as if you are your enemy. Because he is in your face, he really is a great customer at heart. With a list of he would love to help you determine his life insurance options. When you get a quote for life insurance with your friends to choose from in New York, Connecticut and Massachusetts it may surprise you. You don’t want to go wrong and the service would not only be great but also not only would he pay you money in New York. You would also love the fact that he would not have to tell you about your so that you would be able to answer the question that you are giving him. This option is going to be much easier for you to give him, because we have to make sure that he does not use your information. So be honest about his age.

[vaporwavegirl]

2017 has been the craziest most emotionally damaging and most exhausting and weirdest year of my life. But through all have that I've met some amazing people and learned so much and grown up so much as a person I'm really started to learn about who really am and I've opened up and really matured alot this year. Started college and really starting to save up money and buying my own car and turning 18 and being given so much more freedom becoming so much more open and with my mother and forming such a close unbreakable bond with the women who adopted me and saved my life really was I was a baby. SHe and my father (who recently divorced) gave up alot to adopt me and my brother and raise us the best they could. We're not perfect and we definitely are difficult and mean and make stupid decisions sometimes but our parents despite going through alot them selves and our family struggling with alot of deaths and being broke and not having jobs for awhile have still done what they could to give us a good life. My mom is still there for me and is trying her hardest to take care of me and this year has been shitty but it has transformed me into an entirely new and happier and better person honestly. I've become much more spiritual and I'm so much I more in touch with myself .I'v been through alot but I wouldn't have it any other way it has been for the best. I have met so many of the most amazing people this year some of which were only in my life for a short time unfortunately. But I hope to keep in touch with these people and grow and thrive with them and I'm so happy I'm entering 2018 with some of the most amazing talented creative beautiful people I have ever have the pleasure of knowing in this life. This year is going to be about becoming an adult and making my way out of my mom's house and being on my own and figuring my future and my life out. I plan on moving across the country to the Washington /Oregon Seattle or forks or Portland or something because that's where i really feel like I belong and will thrive the most. I currently live in Alabama and there is nothing for me here except all the friends I've made. But I really feel like I want a fresh start somewhere completely new and amazing and meet many more new Amazing beautiful and live my life to the fullest. After Tonight I'm quitting all of my partying and drugs atleast until I get financially stable enough and atleast am moved out of my mom's house or am living on my own somewhere and I can afford to party and live my life a little so that will probably be when move to Seattle and weed and stuff is legal and it's more acceptable to be who I am up there. I'm quitting smoking weed for atleast like 2-3 months after today. Only reason I am not longer is because I smoke marijuana to medicate myself for my depression and anxiety and shit as opposed to prescription stuff because the stuff doctors give me just make me feel numb and not myself and I'm still low-key depressed. I'm only taking a break from weed to start saving up money and really try to focus and finding a place to move out to when I graduate around may and saving up to do so. Don't judge me but while I'm taking my few months off from smoking and I'm going to be selling a bit of bud to my close friends to make some extra money on the side because weed isn't quite legal here yet and it's a little difficult for my friends to get sometimes and it's going to help me out as a student who finds it hard to find a part time job that doesn't pay minimum wage (7.25 fuK THAT) and gives me decent hours it's always not enough hours for decent pay or they work me to FUCKING dEATH for shit pay and it stresses me out. I quit my recent job about a week and ago I'm started 2018 fresh with a new job starting pay a little above minimum wage at 8.50 an hour and after a few weeks I'll get a raise. They say I'll hopefully get decent hours like 25-35 a week and it's a small Japanese/ Asian/ pop culture shop owned by a Chinese lady that coincidentally has the same name as me and there's only like 3 other people that work there and they are all really cool good friends of mine that's I've met through cosplaying the past few years. So starting with a new hopefully better job. Starting off sober with my mind focussed on graduating cosmetology school and saving up money and working hard and getting my life together. The last thing I'll probably really spend money on and do for myself this year is Kami con at the end of this month. My family has helped get me different parts of my lapis lazuli (gem from Steven universe) cosplay for me as Christmas gifts and it is tradition that if at all possible I will do everything I can to attend each year and I have for the past 5 years and this year I will have my first legitimate good cosplay and I'm excited. But after that every bit of my money is to school tuition, helping my mom with the phone bill and our car insurance and groceries when she needs it and saving the rest for moving out and starting my future. When I move to Seattle and hopefully become successful enough? at cosmetology that I open my own salon that I'm hoping my unique edgy choice in hairstyles with be accepted and eventually apprentice as a tattoo artist and open a piercing/tattoo/body shop open up like with my salon that like a super weird dream of mine I had for awhile and honestly I'm probably not going to be good enough but I'm going work my ass off and be sober and focus on my future so I can reach my fullest potential I have been put through too much and made it way too far to not try and live my life to the best of my ability and do everything I can to really be happy and stable and eventually fall in love and maybe have a kid and honestly I truly believe I'm going to marry this boy that I've been on and off with since freshman year of highschool. We both lost out Virginity to each other after dating for the first like 6 months and that was the first time we dated which was almost 11 months after we broke up and went a little crazy and just kinda started dating random people not really for love just because I was so scared of being alone and I hated idea of it. So I just fucked around alot and never really had anything as serious as my dude (I don't wanna say his name but if u know me and ur reading this u probably already know who I'm talking anyways. We were distant and not even on speaking terms for maybe two years. After i grew up a bit and started actually making goals and becoming a young adult I contacted him and asked if he wanted to meet up and catch up on our lives and try to give being friends a shot. Its been maybe a little over a year since I had reached out and started talking to him again. We've tried dating again and we have been on an off since then and we both are young adults trying to figure out our lives and we are both struggling alot as far mental health because of the stress of having to grow up kinda and it just kept fucking up out relationship and my emotions were so all over the place and I was really struggling with trying to figure out what I need in life and how to be happy without have to rely on a relationship or drugs or material things. I had to learn how to enjoy the actual important things in my life like all the beautiful amazing people I've had the pleasure of knowing in this life and how to cut toxic people and thinks and places out of my life if it's affecting my mental health and over learned that it's ok to be sensitive and to want to take care of yourself and have a good mental health. I've learned how to just live in the moment and to surround myself with positive vibes and only be around good honest genuine people that actually care about me and want me to succeed. I want the people in my life now to be people that I know forever and people that are going to be there for me in future. Anyways Over those two years me and the boy didn't talk i never got over him matter how hard a tried and thought I was and that i could potentially be falling love with some one. I just cant. I am in love with him and always will be no matter what. If i still feel so happy and deeply in love with him after.he broke my heart and didn't talk to be for 2 years I know this man is meant to be apart my life forever weather it is as my lover or as one of my closest friends. We are soul mates and I know that I will absolutely love him completely and unconditonally for the rest of my life. Those two years when I wasn't with him kept failing my classes in high school freshman and sophomore and was extremely suicidal and didn't give and fuck about school and even went to the mental hospital for awhile towards the end of my sophomore year and at that point i literally thought I was so stupid and worthless and not even worth the effort of living and being such and disappointment to my family and my friends because I could pass one class in high school and I had given up. Until my counselor transferred me to a kind of alternative school that I could do everything at my own pace and only do the essentials and stuff I absolutely need to learn instead of busy work and stupid shit like public school. This place had no semesters or exams or grades. It has 4 different very well educated and super cool and awesome genuine teachers that actually care about helping you get the best education and they really do care about their students and they are so passionate about helping these kids actually learn and have an opportunity to have a future. Theres one teacher for each subject and 5 councilors that the 70-80 kids are divided between them and it was such an amazing really healing place and i met some really amazing people that year and learned alot about myself and started doing art therapy and I got my work done and realized I wasnt actually stupid like I had been so sure I was but I'm actually very intelligent I just have manic depression and severe social anxiety and I just needed to start working on myself and start making the effort to keep myself happy and actually work on my life and be the person I want to be. After that year during summer I made the decision not to go back to public school for what would have been my senior year so as soon as I was 17 I dropped out of high school and got my GED and I started cosmetology school at 17 years old before my graduating class even finished there senior year. My GED teacher was also a councilor and i became very close to her and she's honestly helped me make a future for myself and she supported me and saw how smart I was and she would help me no matter what and still to this day if in need to talk or need help with something i can call her and she will 100% help me because she is such a good and selfless and kind woman that genuinely cares about me and my future. It's rare that you meet teachers that actually help their kids . I honestly made the decision to do whats best for me and my mental health and i got my career and life started as early as I could because I'm determined to live my life to the best before I'm too old or die super young I'm some crazy way because honestly life is so short and way too short not to do everything u can to just really be the best you can be and enjoy life and do what makes u fuckin happy. So starting this year I am being sober so I can graduate school and work and save money and start my life as a young independent adult. My teenage years have been so wild and I've been through so much but it's I wouldn't trade these last few years. I've met so many kind beautiful amazing souls and I've learned so much about life and other people and relationships and I've learned about happiness within myself and I've learned alot about who I am and what it really want in life. I've learned alot about my mental illnesses and how to cope with them the best way possible for myself. I've had some of the best and most amazing adventures and i made so many amazing memories so despite the bullshit I've been through in my teenage years and all the stress of becoming a young adult in this super fucked up world we live in today I know that I have made it this far and I become stronger and better everyday and I'm thriving and finally getting where I want to be. I'm becoming more content with who I am and I'm learning to love myself and be who I am and I'm so happy with the person I becoming and I know I'm going to continue growing and thriving and becoming a beautiful and amazing person living the best life I can. This started out as a new years resolution post but im on alot of stuff right now and I felt like I needed to just write about stuff. Anyways. Happy new years yall here's to a fresh start and then beginning of my life as I figure out how to be my own person. 2018 is going to be so fucking good