#its not that bad im in pain all the time and this stuff in comparison never ever hurts

[sophiethewitch1]

Do you ever say something wrong and then just want to walk into the ocean and never be found again or something

[loversj0y]

MORE CRIMINAL WILL/GUARD WILL <333

you ask, and i deliver. this started as headcanons, and eventually turned into a fleshed-out story in headcanon form so uh. have fun?

Arsonist's Lullaby

TW: mentions of arson, blood, wounds, reader gets a nasty cut :(, a gun is involved but not technically?? used???, its like faux used, but it is literally held to reader, so, yeah, cursing as well but thats far less important in comparison

- when you first arrive, you and wilbur are almost immediately Not Friends

- he seemed to believe he was the guy on the inside, the guy who ran things, and when he heard of your arrival, he was less than pleased

- you were very cagey about why you’d ended up there, solely because it was embarrassing to tell people that 90% of your crime turned out to deal with a customized license plate, a few special brownies, and an old creepy doll you found on the beach from an old lady. 

- this made you very interesting to wilbur

- almost immediately, he seemed to view you as a rival 

- he would constantly try to get you in trouble with officer boo 

- he wasn’t a snitch, but he found his own ways to make your life a personal hell. 

- granted, though, you did the same by stealing every lighter he found. 

- the only time he’d ever felt bad for you was when he got you sent to solitary

- though it wasnt so much that he got you sent to solitary, more that he ended up getting sent there with you, which officer watson claimed was supposed to be a “bonding experience, so the two of you stopped bickering like children constantly”

- honestly, you questioned if these guards even knew anything about being guards at all

- but at least there, you and wilbur got talking. 

- eventually

- “you know, you’re not that bad, when you’re not trying to steal my lighters, that is.”

- “i will literally set you on fire right now.”

- “you have one with you?” 

- so things were better

- but not good

- you two still bickered constantly

- and you still stole his lighters

- it was one day in the yard when things changed

- there was ice on the ground, and though you knew this, you weren’t really paying much attention to it

- until you slipped in it and got a nasty cut on your leg

- the guards didnt see, they were goofing off with another inmate who’d fallen 

- but wilbur did

- he watched from a far as you stood carefully and brushed off the wound, despite your limping

- you didnt want to go to the infirmary, god knows with how bad the guards are, it would only make things worse

- so you hid it

- when you had some free time inside, you went back to your cell and just sat, holding a paper towel to try and stop the bleeding

- until wilbur snuck in, when you tried to hide the wound 

- “you look like shit” 

- “fuck you.”

- “no thanks, im flattered. let me see your leg” 

- you hesitated to show him, wary of the way he looked at you, but for some reason you were unsure of, you did anyway 

- he sat down next to you, pulling a few med supplies out as he started helping up your leg

- “you dont know how hard it was to get this stuff. next time dont be such a dumbass, okay?” 

- you wanted to fight him for that, but you let it slide, hissing in pain a bit as he rubbed alcohol over the wound

- he was mostly quiet the rest of the time, taking much more gentle care of your leg than you would’ve expected. 

- “well, you may be a dumbass, but at least your pretty looks make up for it. unlike your personality” 

- that took a mixed reaction out of you. 

- first of all, that prick

- second of all

- “you think im pretty?” 

- “i hate you so much right now.” 

- he went to leave, seeing as he’d finished wrapping your leg, but you stopped him. 

- “wait. stay.” 

- for a second you thought he would laugh at you. instead, he sat down next to you again.

- you gently tapped your shoulder against his, staying quiet for a moment since you didnt really know what to say. 

- “i think you’re attractive too.” 

- he gave you an incredulous look 

- “are you fucking with me?”

- “no, im serious. it’s one of the reasons i hate you so much actually, you’re too hot to be this annoyi-“ 

- he cut you off with a kiss. 

- you most definitely were not expecting it, but you didnt turn it down either. 

- after a good 30 minutes of making out and sitting on his lap, you two finally pulled away properly. 

- “we never tell anyone?” 

- “agreed.” 

- a week later, it happened again. not the injury, but the secret room make out session. 

- after a while, you were laying your head on his chest, the two of you curled up on the old shitty beds 

- “you know, one day, ill get out of here.”

- “and what will you do?” 

- “i dunno. probably burn another church.”

- “that’s all?” 

- “and find a way to get you out. as annoying as you are, you’re a good kisser.” 

- you didn’t think that would be the last time you spoke to him like that. 

- when you woke up the next day, he was being hauled out by officer watson

- it was a week of quiet normality without him 

- then, the new warden arrived. 

- he never let anyone see his full face, eyes always covered by a pair of large dark sunglasses. 

- but he took a particular liking to torturing you, so it appeared. 

- upon ordering your room inspection, he quickly found your stack of wilburs old lighters

- he immediately confiscated them and ordered you to solitary

- you were in there for a full day before anything changed

- the warden walked in, immediately chatty. 

- “it took far more time to break off from them than id thought, but fuckin’ ‘ell, im here now.”

- you, on the other hand, were not chatty. he left the door open. this could be your out. you went for the punch

- it was unsuccessful 

- he grabbed your hand, turning you so his arms were around you, your back pressed into his chest

- “here i thought you’d be happy to see me. also you did a shit job at hiding my lighters, im mad i never found them before.”

- a click

- “wilbur!?”

- “obviously. c’mon, you shouldve recognized me immediately. unless you were distracted?”

- so maybe he saw the way you gasped in breath when you’d seen a tall and handsome stranger with a nice trenchcoat being intimidating. and maybe he saw the way you stared at his hands for a long while. 

- so what. 

- “shut it. i hope you actually have a plan to get out of here that isnt just burning it down.” 

- “lucky for you, i do.”

- he explained his own heavily convoluted plan, going into major detail about all these wild things, including shooting him 

- “why don’t you just steal the gun and say you’re taking me as a hostage?” 

- he paused

- “i hate you.” 

- you rolled your eyes, pulling him down into a quick kiss. 

- he held you by the small of your back as he kissed you back before leading you out. he did hit you a few times with the baton, but this was more an act for the other guards. 

- it wasnt long before he enacted the plan

- as scary as it was to have him, the guy who just a few weeks ago would have hurt you without batting an eye, holding a gun to your head, you trusted him

- plus it made for a good act, you knew he wouldn’t. but the guards didn’t know that, making it the perfect act of collateral to get both of you out there

- from there, everything was easy. 

[selfshipgushing]

idk when you’ll see this in comparison to my other ask from earlier buuut i can finally ramble abt my WIFE !!! :D

ouhhh goshhh where do i starttt (i apologize if this gets long) i have like a whole LOT of fictional crushes like a lot a lot buuut i only have 1 f/o whiiich is the f/o ive BEEN talking abt on this account

i love them so so sooo much their name is tallorannn likeee james martin talloran from the scp foundation (ill mostly call them talloran tho cause most scp personnel get called by their last name !) (they’re nonbinary btw like canonically just thought i’d get that out of the way first) and they’re most known forrr researching scp-3999

so like for the non scp fans like reading this (prepare for YAPPING) ! pretty much scp stands for secure contain protect and so they yknow… secure, contain, and protect some little creatures they call anomalies and it’s like scifi and stuff

sooo !!! talloran researches scp-3999 like pretty much they are the main researcher but the thingy abt 3999 is… it needs a host ! since tally’s been the main one researching it, it ofccc chose poor talloran as it’s host ☹️☹️☹️

3999 can warp reality to its will however itd like and so since tally is it’s host, it does the one thing it enjoys : torture

for 3 MILLION years without end, 3999 tortures talloran, killing them and then bringing them back to life in all ways that you can imagine and NOT imagine, making them watch people they love get killed, etc, and ouhhh i feel sososo bad for them ):

they are sososo strong emotionally tho and at some point they were even able to contain 3999 for a short while… and then it escaped AUHHH but my tally doesn’t give up they keep trying and TRYING for the better good ! they have to contain this thing to save the world cause it could just destroy and remake whatever it pleases, allowing for it to cause havoc on the world as it PLEASES !!!

sooo finally… talloran finds a way… but it makes me so SAD since talloran is it’s host they realized that… if talloran were to die by their own will, without it being by 3999’s hands, it would get rid of the both of them, but most importantly 3999��

so they went through with it and GHHH I LOVE THEM SOSOSO MUCHHH AAA THEY WERE WILLING TO SACRIFICE THEMSELF FOR THE GOOD OF THE WORLD THEYRE SO SWEET AND CARING AND GOSHHH AAUAUAUAAAUAA i wish that they’d at least be able to get some reward for what they did while being alive ouhhh 🙁🙁🙁 (they’re still alive in my mind and heart tho)

and as for the whole knife and scars thing i mentioned in the past :

during the writing of scp-3999, the author had like a really bad sleep paralysis nightmare (or whatever it’s called… i forgot) anddd i won’t go TOO much into detail but,,, pretty much in that nightmare talloran stood above the authors bed and cut off their bottom jaw with a knife and so in a lot of depictions of them they have long scars on both sides from their mouth as if their bottom jaw was stitched back on anddd a lot of times they are depicted with a knife ! (like in our emoji combo)

id includeee pictures but scp is all reading and stuff sooo it’s honestly up for depiction in your mind !!!

anyway IM SOSOSO SORRY FOR MAKING THIS SO LONG I JUST LOVE MY WIFE ISSUDHDHHSA I WANNA KISS THEM AND CONGRATULATE THEM FOR BEING SO STRONG AND I WANNA SQUEEZE THEM IN MY ARMS TO LET THEM KNOW THAT THIS IS REAL AND THAT THEYRE SAFE AND THE PAIN IS ALL OVER NOW anyway…

-🌷🔪

hehehehehe smoochie the wife

[mithliya]

"^_^ but thank u for taking the time to use that to actually defend actual lesbophobia that was expressed'

first of all I'm literally not defending it I agree she's lesbophobic and I've never liked ms-revived-frogs tbh she says so much shit off the cuff and then completely doubles down unreasonably. she's just a contrarian that think she's the only one that really understands anything. maybe a symptom of her age but im still not gonna give her a pass or then she'll just continue to b like that.

second of all I literally wasn't the anon that sent any of those original asks but I did know wtf they are talking about w piqued. idk about the rest im only talking about the piqued thing. i just think its crazy how radblr can correctly recognize those comparisons are lesbophobic and wrong, but when people call us dick worshipers or spread essays on how we're identical to men, suddenly thats no biggie and the only evil is that the bihets think they have the right to complain. piqued was the least bad person to reblog that shit essay bcoz she at least partly acknowledged some bits were bad, but she still thinks that the "bad" parts like comparing our sexual assaults to TIM completely fake murder stats or saying we're dick worshipers or the premise of the essay on how we're identical to men are completely acceptable to pass around even if their 'bad' if she decides she thinks its worth it, and us rape victims are pathetic if we take offense at her choice. and thats the thing even when u all say that harassment or abuse against bi women is "bad", a lot of ppl on here just treat it as like a fart in the room at most nothing real and nothing realated to real pain or oppression just annoying whining. ppl oppose it in theory but in practice they completely let ppl like that off the hook and show way more anger at any bisexuals that bring up the topic of how ppl harass us treating us like we're complaining over nothing. no ones gonna call desisapphic, ornitomoltorinco, like-a-ruby, eliminatedmighty, angrylesbianatwork, and dozens others that passed that shit around homophobes for making light of our rape and using it as a gotcha or misogynists for how they call us dick worshippers. no one's ever gonna spare any anger for them even if they mildly criticize, it all goes only into insisting that bi "male worshipers" exagerate everything and can be believed. And I'm not talking about you but rad spaces as a whole. I actually don't think ur that bad about bi women at all, u at least call bullshit bullshit when its direct, but you seem completely unable to call out sussy shit thats in between the lines, and the thing is i know u can coz ur smart and you do it all the time with other shit. but unfort a lot of people are alot shittier about bi women than u, i don't get why you have to pretend theyre not and bis are just making everything up.

“i just think its crazy how radblr can correctly recognize those comparisons are lesbophobic and wrong”

the idea that radblr is collectively recognising this as lesbophobic & wrong is laughable to me. i’m seeing more ppl outright justifying her lesbophobia n demonising me for criticising it than i am seeing ppl saying it was lesbophobic. and of the ppl calling it lesbophobic, almost every single one is a lesbian.

ur paragraph about piqued is.. literally nothing she even said. “TIM completely fake murder stats” is bizarre to say bc like.

the rate of transwomen of colour being murdered isn’t a myth. the myth is acting like trans women are the most vulnerable group, which overall they are not. however black or latam trans women are absolutely at high risk of being murdered:

and almost everything u took issue with is stuff she mentioned as an issue as well:

like idk i find it absolutely insane that of all the ppl u could have gone after, u specifically chose the lesbian who agreed with ur takes here and chose to demonise her. there’s also the fact that youre expecting *others* to go after what *you* find problematic *on your behalf* instead of just.. doing it urself? i mean none of u did shit when tagai/tonguehurt was harassing me and even happily grouped us together and acted like we were besties when she left. none of u cared when that general circle was being awful to me. and most of u directed not even 1/20th of the attacks directed at me towards the ppl u named above. and then on top of that ur like “hey why don’t u go after these ppl i disagree with harder? even tho we won’t call out the lesbophobia within our circles or call the ppl we disagree with out ourselves or anything else” .. just bizarre frankly

also i actually had no issue with ms-revived-frogs before ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i disagreed with some things but the lesbians are unempathetic stuff she said was shocking to me bc i didn’t expect it from her. her inability to take any accountability and readiness to demonise me despite me giving her the benefit of the doubt n simply politely explaining how she was lesbophobic was also shocking to me considering she made it seem like she was an ally to lesbians. so how u felt about her prior to that doesn’t matter to me tbh, no one needs to dislike or hate her or anyone else. but that lesbophobia should be criticised

btw never heard of eliminatedmighty, i did criticise angrylesbianatwork but she’s inactive now anyways, don’t know what ornito did, and at most i disagree with like-a-ruby and desisapphic on some things but i’ve seen ppl go after those two and literally no one else you’ve mentioned which.. again i do find it interesting that the women who say they want front row seats to see a woman being abused by her bf/husband and called women misogynistic terms such as bulldyke-rider or others in her direct circle aren’t ppl that y’all go after nearly as much as ppl like desisapphic

[thegongoozlerreacts]

Welcome To Night Vale: Episode 199 "Guidelines for Retrieval"

i listened to this in a car ride and lemme tell u rn that u should definitely listen to this podcast when in a car ride, esp if its nighttime or becoming nighttime idk what about it adds to the listening experience but it is such a weird but vague vibe that fits WTNV perfectly like having Cecil's voice in your ears and watching as the scenery goes by and listening to all the weird stuff is happening is *chefs kiss* yk??

anyways moving on to the actual episode

it hit HARD

like, when i heard 'oh this landfill doesn't accept physical objects, just memories and ideas' i was like 'oh thats silly'

i was WRONG

"You got rid of all the monsters in the closet, but you also threw away the bravery you found when you opened the door and looked them in the eye." i was like 'oh shit that is... wow'

that whole thing about how getting rid of every bad thing thats ever happened to you and making it so u essentially restart ur life from when u were like born i guess?? so u have to go on without experiences so everything is better and everything is worse

something about that just got to me

“We can’t make any guarantees, but would it help to tell you that items often become lighter the longer they’re left here? It’s not a particular service that we offer, just an observation we’ve made. Many people find that once they’re separated from their non-material waste for a while, it has somehow become more manageable in the meantime." this too

how all that pain becomes more manageable with time, how, in comparison, it gets better

man those two parts just got to me, the whole segment of the guidelines of retrieval just struck a chord with me

but there were some silly stuff in this episode, like all wtnv eps have

so the segment 'The Night Vale Tree of the Month' was funny the tree of the month being a bush LMAOAOOA

"They soon went extinct because this was so insulting." LMFAOO rip camelops tho

the fact that its genuinely actually snowing in Night Vale?? and Cecil clarifying that it isn't 'fake snow' lmaoo

but why is there snow??? like there was no explanation

weather segment was a banger as usual, and i noticed that it actually was related to the topic of the episode which was cool

"Anyway, I definitely will be taking them up on that offer this week. There’s a super vivid recurring nightmare I used to have that would make a great NFT." CECIL?!??!?!? but also what would that even look like

guess i'll never know cuz i cant ever afford an nft

overall, a good episode and its given me stuff to think about late at night when im trying to sleep

Good night, Night Vale.

Good night.

[raincamp]

7 - 29 - 23

i was too distracted by good omens 2 yesterday to write anything haha, a good thing though, because it meant that i was distracted from the emotions im experiencing in real life. i instead spent all of yesterday in mourning with crowley. i feel like he and i are going through similar issues right now, it was nice to feel like i had someone (fictional) who understood, and also had somewhere (fictional) to put all my feelings.

he is so BPD coded — i can't even begin to talk about it

anyway, today i spent most of my time with my best friend (M) who i think i have yet to mention here? she's kind of a FP— or she used to be— or, i honestly don't know at this point. since i figured out my therapist is a FP of mine, it feels like maybe M has become less of one? or maybe it just feels like that in comparison. its all so confusing sometimes to put labels on things. but i think whats important is that i have an attachment to her that is sometimes on the unhealthy side, but our relationship remains stable because we both put in the work to make it that way despite my unhealthy attachment.

we went to a cafe and i talked a lot about therapy, which was nice, she's a psychology major so she loves hearing about me and my disorder and my therapy, and she's also really insightful about relationships so she had a lot to add, it was kind of reassuring, but i did also accidentally trigger myself and started talking some very obvious BPD-cognitive-distortion-bullshit about my therapist which was kind of humiliating. she was understanding though— immediately called me out on it. and then suggested we do something else because she could tell it was distressing me.

i fear that i might start becoming emotionally dependent on her again now that my therapist has cut me off. i dont think it would be too bad, because of the stability of our relationship, however i do have feelings about that potential situation, because i dont particularly enjoy being dependent on anybody. it makes me feel guilty and ashamed of myself, and kind of frustrated because i can't seem to just be independent. the concept seems to be totally foreign to me.

i was going to try to hang out with another of my friends today too, but she didnt answer my 15 phone calls, and i kind of split on her too :') im having a rough time right now. idk why im getting so easily triggered all of a sudden.

maybe i just have more emotional vulnerability now? hm. its difficult figuring this kind of stuff out without her, my therapist, i miss her. i need her.

everything just feels kind of empty and hollow without my therapist in my life. like. i know im technically only missing seeing her for 2 days, but theres weeks in between those two days, and those weeks start to feel like years when it's somebody im so dependent on. so i feel like i've lost so much.

M was talking about how its possible my therapist withdrew partly because of how attached i was becoming, and i dont even want to consider that a possibility right now, but i cant stop thinking about it. i dont have control over how attached i become to people, and if thats whats causing her to be so cold towards me— which has been causing me SO much pain— then im gonna be,, idk i'm having a hard time identifying my feelings today. but its essentially telling me that i should be able to stop something i don't have control over in order to have the support that i need. I don't think thats fair.

thats the message im getting from this whole situation anyway though, since it all comes back to an addiction, which I don't have control over.

maybe i just dont deserve mental health support and treatment, i feel like thats just the overall message the universe is trying to convey to me right now. idk what i did to deserve it, but i obviously did something, so ig i should just accept the punishment. nothing i can do about it now.

if my therapist were here she'd call me out on blaming the universe like she always does. but shes not here so she can get fucked. ill stay being delusional if it makes me feel better.

im dissociated as fuck today

- andrew

[diamagneticcoordinationcomplex]

hi hi its me u know that pink fan who dumped too many words in one comment instead of spreading it out by chapter like a normal person lmao

(psst it was to lure u into giving spoilers accidentally but damn it didnt work இ௰இ)

can i say im an og fan of yours??? i really really loved ur iwft series at first sight since im also more or less an emmet simp and at that time your iwft story was a sight for sore eyes! amidst all the angst and pain, a fun bamf emmet story was something i needed! and then you continued to pump out masterpieces one after another and as you can tell i've been ummmm verrry aware of you like keeping an eye out for something new from you aware-aware haha *refreshes subscription list like a maniac*

and oh i was not being anonymous at all as i thought haha (tbh i feel kinda honored you know me even as far back as my roxana phase the world needs more roxana tbh badass bitches rule my manhwa list btw have u also read the princess 's doll shop its my pfp i love her ヾ(≧▽≦*)o)

i dont usually comment in my favorite authors' stories (tho i should probably do it more often) but when i do its going to be more or less an avalanche of words

actually i do have more thoughts about wonderland simmering in my head but i didn't include it bc i was almost at ao3 character limit lmao so i'll just say it here

i wanted to include ghetsis in my speculations bc i feel like he had a hand in whatever issue the king was having and probably pushed the rift between nobori and kudari. we haven't heard from him yet so its a sneaking suspicion 🤔 i also wanted to include allusions to kyurem since i mentioned the forest of mirrors as a boundary between wonderland and the real world and guess who's the boundary pokemon idk bulbapedia said it was a husk pokemon idk who that is *wink wink nudge nudge* and since our resident amnesiac kudari was there maybe it means something? i also wanted to make some comparisons between kyurem and the king but i felt it was getting wayyy out of hand hehe

also also as you can probably tell i believe that wonderland is very much a real place but it is also a product of a dream since gen 5 had that dream world mechanic dunno how that's gonna fit in the story but its a nice thought

i also have thoughts on the memory hall and why the king restricted the place and why ingo got like conflicting memories but i am running out of words i need to soak my brain somewhere else first byeee have a nice day/night!!!

Hello, pink one! Good to hear/read from you again! I verrrry much appreciated the long comment in the latest Wonderland chapter! :D

(Heheh, gotta keep the secrets hidden~ It's kinda hard to reply to comments without accidentally revealing things lol)

I'm delighted to meet another Emmet simp! One of the big motivators behind 'I wish for truth' was for Emmet to not be a sad sad angsty depressed boy for once. Hence, him being a mysterious, powered up, bamf lol. I'm so very glad my story was able to provide that break from the *angst* that I myself was looking for.

I'm honoured to have someone so aware of my works! Communication on AO3 is relatively limited and I don't get much feedback aside from what's available on there (and social media ain't really my thing), so it's nice to know that there are people who notice and appreciate. The concept of having fans is still somewhat foreign to me cos all I'm doing is writing stuff... (that's all self-indulgent lolol). (btw, I still haven't shaken my habit of refreshing the Emmet tag on AO3 several times a day)

I will admit that my first moments of being a writer on AO3 were verrry... stalker-y? I'd just look at the profiles of anyone who kudo-ed or bookmarked my stuff, which is probably not that creepy? idk XD (I looove Roxana, she's so cool and gosh the art in that manwha is soooo pretty. Oh, I haven't heard of princess' doll shop! I'll definitely give it a look! Thank you for the rec~)

I don't usually comment on stuff much either (bc I'm kinda bad at doing that). So I'm honoured you decided to leave such a detailed, in-depth comment on my work! Thank youuuuu~♡

Oh, I was wondering if you were almost to the limit on AO3's commenting system. It was quite the essay! :D

Now onto Ingo in Wonderland:

Ohhh, speculations regarding gen5 stuff! Ghetsis and Kyurem and dreams hmm? Interesting thoughts you have there~

We'll just have to wait and see if the mysteries of Wonderland will ever come to light... (I have a lotta lore in my head but it doesn't always get onto the paper/document screen)

Oh, I'm excited to read your thoughts/speculations on the whole memory mess! I'll be waiting here (im)patiently~ (>w<)

Thank you for the ask! A good day to you too!

[ethernetmeep]

nevermind what was i saying??? today was a blast when it came to the exhibit. all the fears which i thought would occur didn’t actually come true. i was weirdly remembered even when i was absent, telling from how my friend cried for me to come sit with her. she knows better than to do this. i think she wanted to fuck with me and see me in agony. proceeded to make some odd comparison to the last supper in the hallway and she hit me with a quote i can’t repeat as its rather telling, but helped a lot. i still believe she does certain things to purposely put me in pain, i think

speaking of… boy told me his immense like of a work. i pointed it out to him after he showed me his sketchbook, actually. i knew he’d enjoy it. i told him a very vague synopsis of my recent life to help comfort him and the anxiety he was having of being in a crowded room— comfort in shared anxiety and fear, i mean.

he was afraid to go back in once we had walked out temporarily. i told him of the time i called someone amish whilst we walked around a crowd. told three people this in one day. i believe my rambling helped him. he had begun to talk to me again about how he liked a certain piece again and i brought the prevalent point up to him, “oh, the guy who made it is in the other room, i think.” i paused. “you should tell him.” i offer with a smile. its genuine; i do think his piece deserves definite recognition. it would be a lie to say otherwise. he then goes to do said thing and talks of awkwardness afterwards. i tell him its natural. maybe it was bad to recommend him to say he liked it. i don’t necessarily know. i only did so because it seemed apparent he wanted to. what i do know is that i was able to talk with someone about art, so.. it was nice.

i walked into another room interchangeably to take off my shirt and show its pattern. realized i was close to a window and did not want someone i know to see the prevalent scarring on an arm of mine. this would be bad. awkward. i didnt wish to have this said physical trait of mine consciously known. i want it to also be known said physical trait is healing slowly.. i am letting it do so. i moved further away and took it off there. i like the shirt. i spilt cranberry juice on it while i was talking to a friend because i began to take a sip of it to then say something like “yeah, [subject here] probably wants me to die and go to hell” before i laughed and got said juice on face and jacket. i don’t really believe in hell, nor heaven; just like the phrase. its funny to me.

easier to walk today, although i still had a limp. today has generally been better than the last. i was able to laugh & joke & i felt.. happy. it was the happiest i felt in a long time, although its hard to say knowing every interaction with my friends is one which brings me joy.. this one in particular was just nice. its nice to know things are okay and people are okay and its nice to feel human and like a kid again i guess. weird misconception i am fucked up and Evil and want Evil things. No! i want joy just like you do, mein freund. all i will ever ask for is for those around me to be at their most comfortable state or state they’re happiest or whatnot.

my keyboard got here and i genuinely forgot cause i was so swept up in the event. i may fully deep dive into its contents tomorrow. i have not once cried today nor have i gotten sick; truly has been a good day! there were other things i could mention, like the long discussion i had with another guy which had an accidental stomp against a piece occur. learned piece had actual razorblades in it. god thats really fucking cool. also talked with a peer about his pieces & whatnot, can you tell i love art yet?, and other things. got his number incase i ever wanted to text him about his art. apparently he wants to be an oceanographer. i heard that and almost make an ‘ee’ sound of joy. i love the ocean! i love the ocean! others love the ocean!! absolutely great.

im sure more stuff happened (did, indefinitely) but i am not going to sit down and type every minute detail. wish i could, but i simply cannot. remembering as of typing how i know arguably two hundred or so pokemon by name and visual, although not specific pokedex number. would start listing them but hell no i am not doing that

things will be Okay!!!!! Yay!!!! i am Happy to hear this…

feeling like a sick limping dog as i have to shamefully, well, limp around my living quarters to get around. my physical state has not seemed to have gotten much better. wearing tight socks as some sort of home compression device. i am adamant on being present tomorrow. i will not miss out on an exhibition i’ve been excited over, nor will i miss a day. even if im scared. even if im afraid. i am determined to deal with the pain & shame & agony & i am determined more than anything to live, despite my conditions

it’ll be shitty. it’ll be excruciatingly anything but fun. i’ll hate living and hate people and hate everything. this will be temporary. excuse any remarks i may make between the hours of 2-5 pm tomorrow EST as pure nonsense unless stated otherwise.

[wolfcrunch]

Wrote a massive ask about something, change the subject like two times, and now im starting over cuz NOW I know what I wanna talk about.

I've figured out a few reasons why so many people don't like deku. Of course there is the usual, he doesn't fit really any of the cookie cutters that make most shonen characters (however, characters like Todoroki and Bakugo do, and despite their flaws, everyone fucking drools over them constantly).

My next point: deku doesn't talk about his trauma. His entire life is fucked up, but hes pretended forever that its fine and normal, which has influenced us viewers horribly so that we don't see how messed up he is. We forget what has happened to him and all we see is this pathetic scared teenager who cries at everything because that's basically how he acted in the first like 4 episodes. Bakugo himself has even said deku doesn't really look at or think about himself at all (also demonstrated in like literally everything he says and does) and so we have seen hardly any of his pain. The doctor scene and the scene where his mom apologizes and cries is JUST the beginning. The events of the first episode were a sample of his everyday life (minus meeting all might or running into a villain ofc). We forget the entire fucking decade between these moments. A DECADE OF EPISODE ONE. Think about that.

Now I'll compare him to Bakugo and Todoroki, two beloved characters who get much less backlash, if any. Bakugo has talked about how he knows he's messed up, we have seen him change, and I guess he's more relatable somehow. Todoroki has talked openly about his trauma, we have seen chunks of it, we have seen the absolute worst of it (his mom and the boiling water probably) and we have seen him grow as a person (his entire character arc and also how he treats his dad after the tournament arc). We know him, we've seen him struggle and we see him moving past his animosity towards endeavor. He has asked for help and advice from him too.

Do I see anyone calling Todo an abuse apologist? No. Do I see people forgiving endeavor as easily has they did Bakugo? Absolutely not, which is not a bad thing, but the amount of people I've seen basically idolizing bakugo despite his past mistakes is almost astonishing to me. Of course many people can and should forgive baku, but no one loves deku like they do todoroki. Todo isn't in 2nd or 1st just cuz he doesnt get anywhere near as much screentime as deku and baku, and also prolly cuz he is not as relatable as bakugo, just like deku. Deku gets so so much shit and for what? You didn't like how he acted in the beginning of season one?

In conclusion, I am mad about how much hate deku gets, I wrote too much about bakugo and endeavor parallels when they shouldn't really be compared but its not my fault cuz all might himself has also pointed out similarities, and you probably know exactly who is writing this even tho I decided to go incognito and I cant remember why. Sorry I wrote you an essay<3

this has been in my inbox for a fair while and im sorry for the delayed response but you hit the nail on the head!

i feel like people go into a shonen, not expecting to be hit with a main character who despite being emotional, still hides a lot of stuff about him and his past. from both the cast, his friends and teachers, and us as the readers/audience. deku is a rather real-feeling character, who has gone through trauma and hasn’t had the chance to speak out. he’s instead decided to bury it within, trying to push it to stay in the past as he feels his current life is now better and free of all those troubles.

he bottles a lot of things up. it leaves an ever-lasting effect on him, even after he receives one for all and gets into ua. and for viewers who understand, they come to greatly love and appreciate his character and the growth he goes through, while noting how he has yet to face his past. people who don’t understand however, do just see how you worded it. a pathetic scared teenager who cries at the drop of a hat. him crying is such a noticeable trait within the first season, especially as a lot of his development past that has been a lot more subtle in comparison to todoroki and bakugou.

deku dives in and is reckless, and his flaws bubble at the surface a lot whenever he’s in focus (not that flaws are bad - good characters will have flaws), and people will often tend to heavily criticize him if he acts too differently from the deku they’re used to. crybaby deku. despite the fact those very same people want a more confident character. they want more fights. they want a character like bakugou or todoroki. yet whenever deku doesn’t act like the deku they know, it serves as another ‘reason’ to hate him, because they claim his character isn’t consistent, or that because he is reckless, he deserves consequence.

a lot of people who hate on him fail to see just how interesting of a character deku is however, for the role he’s taken and especially with the current setup horikoshi has given him to finally confront past deku, and to hopefully stop being so reckless. he’s yet to have a big character shift that turns readers heads.

but its coming, and i wholeheartedly believe in horikoshi to deliver.

[metfell]

im still thinking about limbo and a great comparison is the dream bubbles in homestuck. when a character dies and doesnt go god-tier, or their death is considered just/heroic, they fully die, and go to a place called the dream bubbles, which hover out in the void, and sometimes the still-living characters will pass through the bubbles, being able to walk and talk to people while theyre asleep.

and like. homestuck's dream bubbles lead up to having timeline after timeline of dead characters all come together to help fight the big evil bad guy at the end. so there was at least some narrative payoff for all of them dying.

but like. what does limbo have?? just suffering??? just eternal pain??? at least in homestuck the characters could go between each others dream bubbles and TALK and HANG OUT and FALL IN LOVE and stuff. like it was a straight up afterlife for the characters who didnt make it to the end of the plot.

limbos just isolated sisyphean tortures. unending agony. endless suffering. and its just not fun to think about. and like im sure the cc's are having a fun time but the AUDIENCE sure isnt unless youre one of those people online whos like. weirdly obsessed with making characters suffer.

[ectonurites]

What are your opinions on Teen titans

'Teen Titans' is very broad. lots of things that could refer to, so i'll give my opinions on all the possible ones i can think of:

Vol. 1 / Silver Age - i have read like 3 total comics from that era but love the vibes tbh

1967 Filmation shorts - THESE ARE SO FUNNY PLS WATCH THEM!!! they're like on youtube. theres so much going on

The New Teen Titans (80s) - i still need to actually read this run start to finish not just in random chunks when the mood strikes/i have a specific question im trying to answer but like, iconic

Vol. 2 (90s) - i forgot this one existed until i was just looking at all the different possible teen titans things to talk about. so. i think that says my thoughts about that

2003 Cartoon - i grew up on this one babey (like i remember watching it as new episodes came out and everything) its always gonna hold a special place in my heart and tbh was one of my first introductions to superhero stuff in general

New Teen Titans shorts - these were so cute. the who is red x one where gar insists its jason... iconic

Vol. 3 (2003) - Geoff Johns face my wrath for what you did to the core four. but um. a WILD ride from start to finish i can tell you that!!!! i shit talk this comic a lot but like it does definitely have its moments and there are some cool and interesting things it did, it just also showed a blatant disregard for previous characterization of four of its main characters which annoys the shit out of me and always will.

Tiny Titans - SHOWSTOPPING. LEGENDARY. THE ONLY COMIC EVER

Teen Titans Go! - im going to be so real with you i understand why so many ppl hate this show but its actually so fucking funny to me. i dont regularly watch it or anything but like. it is so amusing to me. every time i remember the urn marked 'Robin II' displayed next to a crowbar i lose MY MIND. or the 'NOBODY CARES ABOUT TIIIIM DRAKE'.

Vol. 4 (2011/New 52) - this comic caused me physical pain to read. nothing makes sense. none of the characters are themselves. shit is just a mess, an absolute mess. however Bunker? Miguel? I love him. best thing to come out of this damn comic.

Teen Titans Go! To The Movies - go watch this right fucking now if you haven't seen it. its literally so good even most ppl who hate ttg still will admit its good. my friend recently reminded me that when we saw it in theaters there was a part that made me laugh so hard i literally fell out of my chair

Vol. 5 (2014/Still New 52) - this one is also really bad but at least its kinda funny. definitely more pleasant to read than Vol. 4 but like its still not good or pleasant to read, i just mean that like, in comparison. the last two issues i actually genuinely like tbh (bc #23 is a standalone like, just nice team story, and then #24 is a memorial for Tim after he 'died' in Rebirth)

Justice League vs Teen Titans movie - the dcamu is a fucking fever dream but like the concept of max from wizards of waverly place voicing jaime while violet from american horror story voices raven amused me so much. also the FUCKIN UHHH MAGICAL GIRL-ESQUE TRANSFORMATION SCENE WITH DAMIAN THEN JUST TRYING TO BREAK INTO THE CAR FOR HIS SWORD IS SO FUCKING FUNNY

Teen Titans: Judas Contract movie - its the judas contract. it is what it is.

Vol. 6 (Rebirth) - i have not read too much of this one (like. ive read... chunks of it but not the whole thing) but eh. i've heard bad things about later parts of it especially and from what i've read that seems to... line up.

Titans TV show - a hot mess. superhero riverdale. i binged the first two seasons within 48 hours. very nice costumes and mostly very well cast but the writing makes me die

Tween Titans - in that one episode of dc superhero girls. im just obsessed with Dick having the thick jersey accent its so fucking funny

Teen Titans Academy - I really was not vibing with it early on but as we've actually gotten to focus on the new kids more i've liked it more, but overall its just way too bloated of a cast. having the new characters students, the previous team older students, and then the og titans as teachers is just... too much to focus on in one book. then also did not like the attempt at dick/babs/kory love triangle drama in like issue 2 get tht shit outta here

and if u meant more just the team overall like. i think the titans are cool

[stone-butch-blue]

god ok everyones gonna hate this but i have extreme physical and mental problems and like. people do take physical disabilities more seriously?? "i cant do that my hip pops out of joint" "ugh sorry i have a migraine today" "i recently had surgery" "i walk with a cane can you bring it to me?" no problem. accommodated. if it isnt and its a public place i can say "i will literally fucking report you for discrimination" boom suddenly, magically, accomodation. (i am white passing wont lie and say thats not what allows me to do this)

"i cant do that im autistic" well why dont you try. "im having a bad mental health day" sorry. you have to do it anyways. if i called in sick bc im borderline i would be laughed out of my job. if i called in bc i have DID like "sorry im literally 16 and a different person today" theyd be like what the FUCK are you talking about come into work.

EDS is hard. needing a cane is hard. chronic pain is hard. i dislocate my ankle every year when the weather gets cold. my hip dislocates or subluxates like once a week. some days i cant use my hands at all. other than my parents who were seriously medically neglectful and forced me to do crazy shit in extreme pain i have been accommodated (DEFINITELY bc im white passing but) and the thing is. they didnt care about my mental stuff either. ITS WORSE ITS MORE DISABLING IT HURTS MORE IT STOPS ME FROM DOING MORE like im sorry but every part of my body is in pain every day and sometimes i cant walk or use my hands or jaw and my eyes are tearing but the mental stuff hurts so much worse it always did and now that its getting better i realize that the physical pain means nothing to me in comparison. im happy even when im in extreme pain on good mental health days. so so happy. it just means nothing in comparison? maybe my pain tolerance is crazy high but like ive passed out from pain multiple times i would take that over mental pain any day. you guys dont get it. i passed out and split my chin open to the bone and i didnt even need painkillers for it but if i go off my meds for mental stuff the pain and anguish is unbearable and i would rather be dead.

no depression and anxiety arent that bad compared to chronic pain a lot of the time and needing mobility aids but real mental anguish and developmental disabilities ARE just as bad as physical ones and people DO take them less seriously so if youre neurotypical and physically disabled maybe dont act all high and mighty and yell at people online for considering themselves disabled and make separate categories for "real" disabled people and "ablebodied" disabled people. THE BRAIN IS PART OF YOUR BODY LMAO

signed your friendly neighborhood ehlers danlos sufferer w chronic migraines and a digestive tract that doesnt work (or their knee or ankle or hip on their right leg or their wrists or fingers or jaw or spine. i could go on) who is also borderline autistic DID adhd etc

[iridescentides]

i watched the ep twice bc i didnt take notes the first time BUT. hsmtmts 2.04 thoughts under the cut

gina first. my favorite part of the episode was when she admitted that she feels out of place living in someone else’s house and that she wanted a bigger part in the play. i was SO worried they were gonna just let her happily sideline herself in a “yay she learned her lesson about not being the center of attention” kind of way bc i would not be able to handle that two seasons in a row. let her be angry!!! she has a lot to be upset about

the gina/carlos conflict was awful bc theyre making carlos unreasonably annoying this season. last season he was nice, he was enthusiastic, not competitive and just rooting for other people. idk why they needed to flip him so drastically to being spoiled, rich, selfish, pushy, and bitchy. and on top of that i have not been vibing with the pieces of dialogue theyve been giving him this season just to score woke points. its so unbearably obvious that even though hes a brown gay character, he was written by a white gay person who thought, on some level, that he was giving the gen z kids the #hashtag representation they wanted. his delivery of every line that screams “remember, im mexican” is so awkward, it doesnt land well, and im begging them to stop. they want so badly to commodify his character and parade him around as a “look how diverse our show is!” thing and im so so sick of it bc you can tell, with all the surface-level pieces of dialogue, that they dont actually care at all

(”look around, theres not a lot of me at this school” we GET it, this show wants to be glee so bad)

im honestly starting to slowly ship rina less and less. in season one i loved seeing someone make gina happy, especially since she had no friends before opening up to ricky. but now its just a whole mess and i wish she would love herself a lil more to realize that its not worth all this stress. he made a choice and no amount of conflicted moments of eye contact is going to fully take that back. im not necessarily against love triangle plots, but i HATE the whole “women wait around hopefully while male character, whose decisions have already hurt multiple people, makes up his mind” bullshit

that being said, gina handled the situation like a CHAMP, im dying over how quickly she was able to mask her pain and make the joke about the twix bar. im love her

we were absolutely ROBBED of an ej/big red performance this episode!!! i am at my LIMIT we better get gaston next week or i will riot

on the ej train, him not getting into duke was extremely predictable. we all kinda saw that coming and knew that would be his main point of growth this season. im glad they didnt wait super long to do it. now please @ writers i am BEGGING you to give my man more screen time than one scene per episode

its very odd that they keep making mr mazzara have emotionally tough conversations with the students. i will do a parallel gifset of those once the season ends. i liked his convo with ej for the most part, but he really didnt have to beat him over the head with the “youre an emotionless robot” thing again. its clear ej is gonna throw himself into av club or whatever (even though at the end of last season that was supposed to be big red?) and discover that he has a lot going for him. because he does, he literally has everything going for him, thats why they had to make his “problem” not knowing himself. bisexual ej caswell ftw

i love the parallels between ej and nini this episode? i think since the beginning ive felt that there was a lot about them under the surface that was similar. it was interesting seeing ej tell nini about duke first, instead of the obvious choice of ashlyn. i wouldve loved to see how that scene wouldve gone with ricky, gina, carlos, or big red though bc each reaction and attempt at comforting him wouldve been so different. i didnt love that nini had to be pulled away from the conversation, but im glad they can still talk to each other after everything that went down. and i love the juxtaposition of ej’s convo with mazzara directly following nini’s convo with miss jenn bc theyre essentially the same.

speaking of, i loved miss jenn in this episode. her stories are always so funny, but i loved seeing her care so much for nini and guide her, like a teacher. i loved how she pointed out that everyone who loves nini just wants her to be happy

im glad nini is leaving yac bc there was no good way to keep that up honestly. but im pretty annoyed that they were so obvious about it? like, they immediately made it the worst place in the world without exploring it very much. the place is super unrealistic, ive never been to drama school but im sure it wouldnt be like that. no creative arts place for KIDS would be so impossibly limiting. plus the weird bluish coloring in comparison to the nice warm tones of the rest of the show was, again, a dead giveaway. why send her to the school at all if it wasnt even gonna matter?

even though im glad nini left yac, im NOT looking forward to the way miss jenn is about to bend over backwards to put her in the play somehow. she plays obvious favorites and im so annoyed

(sidenote: nini just? decided to leave yac without consulting her parents??? ummm)

granted is a very good song, one of my faves so far

ricky deciding to tell nini he wants her to stay was stupid. what did he think that would accomplish? who in their right mind would drop out of a good school for you?

i loved when nini said yac was missing something, and miss jenn said “ricky” and nini said “you.” that was so so sweet and cute

i think the kourtney/howie thing is gonna grow on me. i hate amatonormativity so im not a big fan of them introducing a whole ass character exclusively so kourtney can have a love interest, but i loved the gesture he made of bringing her the pizzas and her flashcards. i feel like kourtneys love language is acts of service, and she was literally this meme when he did that for her:

i liked seeing ashlyn try to be there emotionally for gina! i want more of them together

overall this episode was okay. not enough songs, and i wish they were spreading out the emotional conversations through the season instead of packing them all into literally one episode, but what we did get was pretty good.

after watching the preview i see that next weeks episode is gonna be about carlos’s party, and i love party episodes. BUT i hope that after that ep we finally get an advancement on the north high stuff! i dont give too many fucks about lily, but i wanna see my son asher angel

[snkpolls]

SnK Episode 61 Poll Results (for Manga Readers)

The poll closed with 359 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Manga Readers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll, click here. 

---

RATE THE EPISODE 347 Responses

While this episode wasn’t as big of a hit as episode 60, overall most viewers still enjoyed the content and are looking forward to more next week!

amazing amazing! I'm so delighted with this season so far!

Im so beyond pumped i love everything

Dissapointing but acceptable.

I’m like angry I loved it so much.

I just wish we didn't have to wait a week

It was amazing. We all gotta apologize to MAPPA for ever doubting them.

It's a huge stepdown from episode 1. At times the animation was straight up painful to watch. My expectations were low and yet I'm still disappointed :/

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE SCENE/MOMENT? 349 Responses

Reiner-centric scenes were the highest on people’s radar, with 24.9% of respondents enjoying his reunion with the warrior cadets, and not far behind, 22.9% enjoyed Reiner bringing up the 104th at the dinner table. In third, with only 13.5%, was Pieck and Porco’s formal introduction to the audience. 

Hearing Zeke greet his grandparents with such happiness warmed my heart. I do believe that he loves them. 

They just had to add one last image of Ymir's broken face before she died, huh? :(

WE FORGOT TO ASK LAST WEEK D: WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING SCENES/MOMENTS FROM EPISODE 60 WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 348 Responses

Last week we forgot to include what your favorite scenes were. The scene from episode 60 that got the most favor was Reiner’s, “I’m sick and tired… of walls” with 33.6% of the vote. 16.7% most enjoyed Zeke’s titan transforming scream. 14.9% were hyped about Reiner and Porco wrecking Fort Slava.

MAPPA WENT ALL OUT WITH THE CINEMATOGRAPHY IN THIS EPISODE. WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE CINEMATIC PANS AND ROTOSCOPE ANIMATION? 349 Responses

Overall, a total of 74.5% respondents have positive feelings about MAPPA’s use of rotoscope animation and camera panning. Some felt like it was akin to watching a movie, while others are just happy to have the dynamic movement. A smaller amount of respondents didn’t have feelings one way or another, and a minority (about 10.3%) really are not a fan of this type of animation style for the series.

It felt odd sometimes as they used it for long scenes (like Udo talking or Gabi telling the story to her family) but overall it was pretty great and I prefer it to WIT's stale animation during season 3

I liked the more dynamic movement during dialogue, but my roommate found it super awkward and off-model. So a fifty-fifty split in a sample size of two lol

It could have been animated better, but I like the extra dimension it gives to scenes

Enjoyed it a lot! However, there were a few scenes that felt a bit off, like some frames were missing. Specifically, when Udo was doing all those gestures while talking with the rest of the Warrior Candidates.

It felt dynamic to the point of looking unnatural - some gestures and expressions just moved wrong

i'm split, in some scenes it was great (like reiner waking up), but in the dialogue scenes the constant movement seemed kinda unnatural and distracting

It was amazing but at the same time I'd didn't look fluid enough, especially at Udo's mouvements which made the character look kind of...video game-ish in constant moving. 

I thought it looked great the rotoscoping,the movements all looked amazing

The animation during Urdu’s scene is so cool!  I was caught of guard at first though lol. It’s so realistic!

NOW THAT WE’VE GOTTEN TO HEAR A LITTLE MORE OF THE NEW OST TRACKS, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE SOUNDTRACK SO FAR THIS SEASON? 344 Responses

So far, reception to the newer music is overall positive. 31.1% are really enjoying the music and think the songs are being used immaculately, and 40.4% really feel that the song choice compliments the scenes they’ve been used in. 13.1% think the songs are good, but miss having that sole Sawano feel to them. 10.8% just feel the music is “ok” and 2.6% aren’t a fan of the new OST tracks so far. 

I mean it sounds good, but we haven't gotten to important moments that require a memorable track, so we'll see!

First episode slapped because it really complemented the scene but it's more... generic. I didn't like how it was used in this episode, there wasn't enough of it and again, generic. I miss Sawano's unreal scores.

the animation absolutely blew me away, and i love the intense music that played during Reiners monologue 

The music is fine.

I've heard both new and old songs from the previous seasons. Still too soon to make an opinion as we need to hear more.

I am deaf, I can't hear no damn soundtracks 

That music guys when they came back to Liberio and reuniting with they parents, made me tear up but also because the scouts never had the chance to go back home with victory in the arms of their family, I wish I could have seen EMA like this.. It kinda felt unfair X) but I was happy for them nevertheless.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE CLOSEUP OF ZEKE’S MOUTH? 346 Responses

Our first of probably too many crack questions in this poll, 32.7% thought the closeup of Zeke lighting his cigarette was cool looking. 21.4% are concerned about Zeke’s lung health. 19.1% are probably annoyed with us and simply don’t care (lol). 13.3% wouldn’t mind smooching Zeke, and 11% were just plain grossed out.

Does smoke even affect a titan shifter? Surely his lungs just heal themselves

ASMR for the eyes, right there. Aww yiss

It was awesome! Zeke is shown as relaxed person with a big drop of mystery. 

Smoking Bad but he is gonna die in a year anyway

Suuuuuuucc

It might've just been an artistic choice to include it in there, but i gotta say I'm oddly fascinated and idk why

I don’t remember it lol

I didn't even notice.

Zeke looks hotter than he has ever looked

WHAT’S YOUR OPINION ABOUT ELDIAN ASSES? 341 Responses

Most of the responses seemed to feel rather positively about Eldian asses, with almost 40% seeking out Zeke’s ass wiping technique. About 17% simply stated their appreciation for them, while almost 13% are just thirsty. In contrast, a little over 17% seemed confused to the question’s inclusion and about 10% were confused outright. 

MAPPA WHERE IS PIECK'S ASS

More into Eldian thighs, really

I bet Levi’s is nice

If only Eren had one

zeke has the energy of a straight man who doesn't wash his ass

Only Shadis' ass

GIVE IT TO ME 😏😏

They are like normal, human asses. Do not turn them into some magical, special snowflakes, just because they belong to Eldians. 

Seek help

Enough

DO YOU WANT REINER TO GIVE YOU A HEAD PAT? 343 Responses

A definitive majority, almost 59 percent, openly expressed enthusiasm for the prospect of a head pat from Reiner. However, a near 30% fraction of responders didn’t seem too happy about this recent chain of less than serious questions. We’re sorry about that. 😅. The rest either didn’t seem interested in said prospect or noted they wouldn’t care either way.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE DECISION FROM MAPPA TO CONDENSE REINER’S FLASHBACK INTO (PRESUMABLY) A SINGLE EPISODE? 346 Responses

It would appear that the majority of those who took our poll express cautious optimism at the prospect of seeing all (or the vast majority) of Reiner’s backstory being adapted into a single episode, with a near 47% supporting the move, thinking it could make the narrative “more coherent”. Almost 20% argue it would work better pacing wise. On the flipside, just over 17% state that they would rather have a more accurate adaptation to the manga. 11.6% simply say they have no opinion. There were also more than a few write-ins.

I do wish everything could be animated to full detail, but pacing and structure will benefit here

They've done a good job so far, so I'll reserve judgement until I actually watch it.

It will be difficult as they're chapters with loads of dialogue, but they can pull it off if unnecessary stuff gets cut out or changed in some type of way (like watching Marcel's death for the sixth time, them breaking through the wall or even Jean and Eren fighting) 

If they get the pacing right, then the rearrangement will be for the better.

Reiner flashbacks + Reiner suicide attempt + Falco meeting "Kruger" (more than 2,5 chapters) in a single episode? HELL NO! WTF MAPPA!  

Worried and cautiously optimistic.

At least it looks like they're going to stick to just one episode for the RBA flashback. It was mostly just filler anyway, so there was never any need to stretch it out and waste precious time getting back to the Paradis side of the story

I doubt that that's exactly how it is, but if so, then I don't think that that's a wise idea

It’s gonna be rushed as hell

Reiner flashback is very long and there is tons of dialogue, so I dont know how its going fit in only one episode, but if they can make it work then its fine for me

WHICH CHARACTER DESIGN DID YOU LIKE BEST IN COMPARISON TO THE MANGA? 346 Responses

This question gave us a somewhat evenly split pie chart, but Porco nonetheless managed to gain the bigger piece with just over 55%. Surely due to that bomber jacket and haircut. Nearly 45% picked Pieck (gottem) instead. Must have been the somewhat inconsistent nose. 

WHO’S SEIYUU DID YOU LIKE BEST? 335 Responses

On the flip side, 68.4% seemed to prefer Pieck’s soft voice. Porco with his (how the hell does Porco sound like… how can you describe his voice) managed to win the hearts of 31.6% of responses.

Pieck voice wtf? I imagined Pieck with a more Hanji-ish voice, not this sweet and high pitched.

DID MAPPA DO PIECK’S NOSE JUSTICE? 345 Responses

The debacle over Pieck’s POWERFUL nose gave us quite a colorful pie chart. Almost 39% of responses noted that Mappa was on point with Pieck’s nose for most of the episode. Afterwards, 26.7% stated that they thought that Mappa got it right only in some points of the episode. On the flip side, another 26.7% thought that Mappa was generally quite on point throughout the entire episode. A small minority (7.8%) thought that Mappa simply did a poor job. 

The animation is good, and while I don't want to complain, I have a small problem with the drawings themselves. I feel like they lack precision (like Pieck's nose, idk if that's clear).

I'm grateful for Pieck's nose. I always respected Isayama for drawing imperfect characters, because this way he has made them to look more realistic. Even though Pieck has so-called imperfect nose, she is still absolutely gorgeous. Her imperfections are part of what makes her beautiful and unique.

PORCO’S HAIR - WERE YOU TEAM RED HAIR OR BLOND HAIR? AND ARE YOU HAPPY WITH HIS ANIME COLOR SCHEME? 345 Responses

A far less controversial debacle concerned Porco’s hair scheme. The folks supporting a Blond color scheme were universally content with his hair color (all 57.4% of team Blond). On the flip side, an almost universal approval was also present from team Redhead (13.6% of those supported his blond hair color). 27.5% of the responses seemed to care not about this issue at all, however.

NOW THAT WE KNOW PORCO BETTER IN THE MANGA, DO YOU THINK HE WOULD HAVE *ACTUALLY* DONE A BETTER JOB THAN REINER IF HE HAD INHERITED THE ARMOR AND WENT TO PARADIS? 348 Responses

Porco inheriting the Armored Titan is a rather interesting what-if scenario. Perhaps of the most interesting as a whole, so it’s no surprise to see a rather divided opinion of those who took our poll. A little over 36% believe that Porco doing a better job than Reiner on Paradis is a definite possibility. Just over 24% believe it’s not likely Porco would have done better than Reiner. On the flip side, 21.6% think that is is likely Porco *would* have a more successful conduct on the island. 9.2% believe that Porco’s success is a given and in opposition to that, 8.9% think that Porco’s success would have been basically impossible.

HOW ABOUT IF PIECK HAD GONE TO PARADIS WITH THE WARRIORS? 346 Responses

Much less division here, however. 70.5% of responders believe that Pieck’s possible trip to Paradis (in the initial attack) would have not have resulted in a given “mission success” for the Warriors, although she would have been a rather useful ally. Nearly a quarter, on the other hand, think that Pieck’s inclusion would have ended the story right then and there. The rather small minority of the other responders think that Pieck would not have been useful had she participated in the mission.

GABI HAS ALWAYS BEEN A CONTROVERSIAL CHARACTER. HAS MAPPA BRINGING HER TO LIFE CHANGED YOUR FEELINGS TOWARD HER? 342 Responses

64.6% of respondents overall have positive feelings toward Gabi as of right now, with 39.5% having already been enjoying her character throughout the manga. 25.1% now view her more positively with her being brought to life. 20.2% don’t really care about Gabi either way, and 11.7% feel very negatively toward Gabi, without the anime swaying their opinions. 

Gabi still sucks

Sakura ayane as gabi is probably the best thing to happen to me all year

WITH SUCH A DIALOGUE-HEAVY ARC, CUTS WERE INEVITABLE. WHICH CUTS WERE YOU DISAPPOINTED IN, AND WHICH CUTS CAN YOU LIVE WITH?

Overwhelmingly, the scenes that were most missed by manga readers were “Pieck walking on all fours/scaring Porco”, “Zeke mentioning the Ackerman Clan”, “Reiner’s smirk when his family talks about ‘Island Devils’”, and “The imagery of Eren and Armin wrecking ships”. Smaller character details, such as Reiner mentioning how he acted like Marcel on Paradis, Gabi wishing to understand Reiner’s feelings, Falco pointing out how Reiner almost had the Armor taken from him, were also very missed by manga readers, although just less so. 

General Calvi talking about Zeke’s loyalty, Gabi getting praise from her parents when they reunite, and Magath trashing the Marleyan navy, were moments that many respondents didn’t feel strongly about one way or another, or felt that these were details that weren’t really needed anyway. 

Cutting the scene where Falcon talks about why Reiner kept the AT was really bad.  Also the table scene could have been better. Some imagery when Reiner was describing the 104th and his smirk.

The cuts the anime has done made the spectators less informed about some story background stuff. This is in order to direct attention to the marley's eldians planning how to overcome the world's disparagement towards the power of the titans. 

I'm sad they cut the gate guards. They humanize the marleyans a bit. Hope they add their scenes next episode and do them justice.

I hope we will get the Gabi/Reiner talk about understanding each other through PATHS when she eats him next episode

Gimme crawling best giiiirl

MAPPA cut Pieck's ass so this episode wouldn't be so ass centered with Zeke's ass wiping technique. This is my theory lol

Great episode but U was so looking forward to the Reiner scene talking about Paradis “devils”. In the mange it was a powerful scene really adding to the duality of Reiner and the pain he has, and the animation did not do it justice. Plus some parts of his speech were probably hard to understand for a non mange reader without the flashback. (Like which one is referring to Jean for example).  I really wish it had been better delivered

IS THERE ANY CHANCE WE’LL SEE SOME OF THESE CUTS ANIMATED IN A LATER EPISODE? 342 Responses

them into different scenes. Overall, the majority answered a big, fat, “maybe.” 15.8% are confident that what’s done has been done, and 12.6% are more optimistic that MAPPA will find a way.

Overall I was a bit disappointed. I feel like the amount of material cut from every conversation included really added up overall and gave it a very rushed feel to me. I really hope they add it all in later.

ON THE FLIP-SIDE, WHICH ADDITIONS/CHANGES DID YOU LIKE/DISLIKE?

The changes and additions that MAPPA made were overall viewed very favorably, with the scene of Porco and Pieck interacting with the warrior cadets being the most liked addition. This is followed closely by the overall character movement during dialogue scenes, the small detail about Pieck’s father being unwell, and Gabi shouting “Watashi!” on the train.

I loved the additional details made it very emotional

IT WAS A GREAT TIME TO BE GALLIPIECK TRASH

Sneakier Eren's a nice addition too

Porco my boiii I'm so happy he's here 💖💖💖💖 if mappa is adding some extra scenes then gimme more of gallirei 👀

WHICH SCENE FROM THE PREVIEW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 338 Responses

Unsurprisingly, 42% of respondents are hyped about Kenny’s brief return and Annie’s unlikely encounter with him in the Underground. 22.2% are eager to get that sweet Reiner angst as he is rejected by his Marleyan father. 17.8% are looking forward to Reiner’s training days.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

great! it was inevitable they would cut stuff but it hasn't changed any major plot point or thing i would want to see desperately 

It was just really great to see the scenes animated, it adds another level of depth and understanding to the story I believe. 

Loved anime-onlies missing Eren completely. Some even thought it was him but then noticed the leg and thought against it

I think it was very well done. Just need a little getting used to with MAPPA on the reins now. I think MAPPA added some scenes to show how those Eldians over there are still just human after all and they have their own problems to deal with. 8/10 episode.

I feel like they took a lot of emotion way from reiner. made him seemed stoic and determined to go to the island even though in the make he looked scared about having to return. 

I thought the rotoscoping was really well done! I’m happy with the pacing, the fact that the episode felt like it went by fast is good considering it was dialogue based.

Incredible. The direction, the cinematic quality, we are feasting. MAPPA is elevating the story beyond anything I could have imagined! I'm beyond hyped for the rest!! But where is asshole Marley guards/Hobo!Eren's appearance as a favorite moment?!

Incredible, it adapts the source material very well while adding some touches that make it unique in it's own way. As a manga reader, I'm really glad that they're doing this because it feels like a completly different experience from reading it and makes me excited on what changes or directing choices they're going to make during the course of the season, great job so far MAPPA!

Such an amazing episode. Made 20mins feel like 5. MAPPA is doing fantastic. The characters have never felt more alive and the animation style is something I never knew I wanted until now. 

I can't believe they didn't cast Mads Mikkelsen to voice Mads Mikkelsen

The episode was good but the dinner scene didn't do justice to the manga. It didn't have the same feeling to it. I saw a lot of anime onlys thinking Reiner was just trying to talk shit about the 104th. I feel like the flashbacks during that part in the manga gave it a nostalgic feeling that helped convey what he truly felt about his time on the island. His facial expressions were not quite there either. Specially sad because it was the moment I was expecting the most this episode and because it's a big part of Reiner's character, maybe next episode can kind of fix this.

I haven't seen the anime only poll results, but given personal conversations with them I imagine quite a few could care less about the Warriors and are looking forward to the 104th showing up to stir shit up. Boy are those folks in for a treat :)

I knew I'd feel more attached to all of them once they got animated. I didn't expect getting real thirsty for Lainah.

I was so happy with how much detail MAPPA put into the background scenery. Also, I think that an underrated moment during this episode was the Marlian douchebag triggering the Eldian soldier’s PTSD. You could really feel their terror, and THEY KEPT THE HOBO EREN PART IM SO HAPPY!

Its consistently very pretty and well animated which is great of course, but I worry the team won’t be able to maintain this quality for some of the meatier scenes in the later episodes. The fast pace of the episode (compared to the manga) as well as the many cuts make it a bit harder for scenes to stick, I wish there was a bit more breathing room at times. This also makes the fancy animation and frequent rotoscoping cuts feel less impactful for me—with every scene being cut down to its core ingredients, and every scene having at least one cut with more motion and energy than we’re used to, I can’t help but feel it all kind of mashes together without sticking out as much, leaving less of an impact. (I feel really really weird actually complaining about good camerawork/animation, what the hell lol) Also hobo <3

Plenty of questions about ass but no questions about the full ED? Or how we thought the episode did at hiding Eren in plain sight?

rip Reiner's chocolate abs :'(

The episode wasn't as interesting as the first one. I was yawning from time to time. Yet, I think that Mappa did a great job, because it's hard to animate full of  dialogues chapters. I was disappointed of the fact that flashbacks from Paradis have been cut. I hoped to see Sasha, Connie, Ymir and Marco while Reiner was speaking about them. Without the flashbacks we just got the dry speech and this way hard to say what Reiner is really thinking about people he met on Paradis. We - as manga readers - already are aware of his feelings, but anime onlies may not know and see Reiner as cold hearted person. I'm not complaining over animations or the OST tracks because no studio is perfect and some small mistakes here and there won't destroy my fun. I just sit and enjoy the episode. 

Very good, with the exception of the dinner scene, in which the director missed the mark completely with the tone.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 328 Responses

Thank you again for participating! We’ll see you again next week!

[tmmyhug]

i saw ur tags about ranboo and theres times where i really love him but im never a fan when he does streams like this. it feels to me like hes trying to hard to make sure his characters points are clear/easy to interpret and it just feels like hes yelling exposition at the viewer. same with his (and anyones for that matter) tweets about his characters views/morals etc. i feel like they could all work on showing not telling (feel free to not post this)

ello anon! just to preface, I am not a big fan of discourse bc I get anxious about not making my thoughts clear enough (most of the time they’re not even really clear to me) or inadvertently hurting feelings, so: everything I say is obviously just opinion, take it with about as much salt goes into a tommyinnit taco, I am not omniscient, yadda yadda. generally, I really like ranboo. he can be hilarious, his emotional acting is awesome, the lengths he goes to to make immersive scenes that utilize minecraft to its fullest potential for storytelling is so cool, his growth is mindblowingly impressive, and he’s incredibly incredibly kind. yeah.

okay. I think you have a good point here. tommy (gonna use him for comparison cause the rascal lives in my head rent free) and ranboo rp completely differently. with tommy, practically everything we know about his character’s inner workings is from what the audience has to infer through his actions. c!tommy blusters and shouts and insults people and generally makes chaos, and as soon as the stream ends we all run to tumblr to write (or in my case, read) about his ptsd and self-worth issues and the heartbreaking depth of his attachments to people and things. it’s why his character is so easy to misinterpret. c!tommy being blunt about his feelings is rare. c!tommy acknowledging his trauma is rare. it’s happened a bit more recently due to his development, but him mentioning that he still gets shaky near plains biomes and vehemently informing dream “you don’t have me” are not things that come easily - they’re pulled out of him like teeth, and only under duress. not only is it painful for the character to admit those things, but it’s not tommy’s style. he’s said multiple times that he doesn’t like breaking the fourth wall. both as a character and cc, tommy’s not often caught out of bit mode. and that’s a big part of why his character is so much fun - very little he does should be taken at face value.

ranboo tells us everything. to be fair, I don’t watch ranboo pov. but this is my general assumption gleaned through fandom and a few hours of stream: c!ranboo says everything. what his principles are, what motivates him, what makes him upset and why, how he feels about other characters, etc etc. the only stuff kept hidden is enderwalk lore because c!ranboo knows as much as the audience does about that. cc!ranboo makes twitter threads detailing all of c!ranboo’s beliefs and describes why he’s morally grey. and while it is cool to see the thought processes that go into the roleplay (I’m a sucker for behind the scenes content), it also tends to feel like.. hey, that’s our job? the cc isn’t supposed to lay everything out for us bc the fans are the ones out here to explore the material, tear it apart, pick through it for that juicy juicy literary analysis. and if it’s all handed to us on a platter, personally? I get bored. I get tired of c!ranboo monologuing about why no one on the server is right or why he’s a hypocrite or why everything bad could be prevented if people did this or that, because he goes on for so long and fleshes out the same points over and over and I find myself going okay buddy, point made, can we move on please? no matter how good his voice acting his, eventually it just feels like there’s nothing new for me to engage with.

now clearly this isn’t a universal experience - just look at the viewercounts dude pulls - but the way I as a fan enjoy things is to examine the content thoroughly, make deductions, put connections together, read a dozen different opinionated fan essays on the same topic and come to my own conclusions. being told everything about a character completely upfront makes me feel patronized. it leaves no room for interpretation. and dsmp is practically built on differences in interpretation, both character-wise (the way every pov is different and vibrant and presents the same information in a different light) and fandom-wise (the number of conflicting opinions on my dash could kill a man). so ranboo’s complete eradication of the fourth wall just strikes me as juvenile when compared to the depth of so many other characters available for us to explore without immediately being told all the answers.

wow, this got lengthy. anon, I think you summed it up best: show, don’t tell. sorry if my rambling isn’t too coherent, I’m very tired. again - not preaching gospel, I am but one fan with a blog and a (very long) opinion. thanks for being courteous and for letting me get my thoughts out. uhhh other folks are free to discuss if they want but I may or may not be answering.

[getreadytosmash]

well NOW i need to hear your Thoughts about skaar and hulk finding out things 👀👀

@mistyflame1

Sjsjsjjs w.well....if u say so sir 👉👈😳

Takes place within the end of my s3 ideas

A lot of gamma mutates have been appearing and fighting by now and this is during the point that Betty Ross and a collection of other people have slowly gone missing over the season as well as a bunch of mysterious gamma related attacks

Leader is hesitantly shifting onto their side but isn't quite with them??? Still off on his own and researching and overall very standoffish still since he knows whose related to it all still

Skaar's probably been suffering some odd dreams at this point and I wanna relate them to prophesies since Sakaar was quite connected to them within the comics

Probably something cheesy like uh "when green was torn away we wept. And while you fell as the sun falls from moon, she has cried and she has wept. Face your destiny, Sakaarson, and reignite what was once one." Or smth that's all I got at the top of my head rn

And yeah, Skaar wants to go and has a brief fight over it with Red who thinks it's stupid to go catering off into space just because he dreams of talking rocks

But Hulk points out the fact that they're needed on Earth right now, to figure out what's going on and how to help people, even though humans are disrupting them more and more

And Skaar can see how tired Hulk looks, how he's trying so hard and how even the mention of space settles something on him and Skaar can't make his family go through any of that again. Can't make them ensure that hopelessness of dying in a metal can in a place where most of the world would think they deserved to stay after simply trying to help. Making them all go would just be selfish.

So. I mean. Its not selfish to drag Leader on a trip to Sakaar. Is it?

And yeah this is where it gets a bit blurry cause I imagine Skaar is somehow stuck there for a few days and a lot of cut scenes between him exploring Sakaar culture and Hulk worrying so much and now trying to get to Sakaar.

Its messy for Hulk. Because a part of him fears space now but Skaar is up there. And space and fear is only something you ensure for so long until you reach something grounding and solid again. It'll be worth it if he can get to Skaar again and to help the younger hulk and keep him safe.

Hiro-Kala...I definitely think yeah he's settled as some sort of bad leader and I don't mean as in "he's a shitty person!!" But he's away from Caiera and alone so that makes a lot of his decisions panicked and bad and he can't rely on anyone for help

And now suddenly he has someone with a similar tattoo that isn't fully complete (because yes I use physical symbolism) and now Skaar is putting what he's learned from Hulk to use while searching for the source of the voice that rings out to him across a galaxy.

And I want this to be a thing where it cuts and shows how Hulk worries and becomes rough in his decisions because he only does that when it comes to family! And I want it to show examples of how Skaar has come further now, become someone who could lead and shows examples of what he's learned in comparisons from flashbacks!!

Like...one flashback of Hulk teaching Skaar an important lesson and it cuts to Hulk completely disregarding while Skaar follows it perfectly? It has a good view of how they are and the way their relationship has developed over the past year and a half.

I haven't got all of it but I definitely picture the big moment when Skaar eventually unlocks what's hidden within Sakaar and Hulk and the rest of the Smashers arrive and its absolutely some of that shit that cuts between Leader and Hiro-Kala yelling at Skaar to stop while Hulk rushes to find them before a giant blue and white light cracks between the ground and makes everything go black at a cliffhanger

Tbh I kinda want Caiera to be a villain at first? But more of uh...that scene in Moana where the goddess is angry because she got locked away by the Red King??? Yeah that. And with Cai's emergence, all of these MEMORIES about her come spilling out, a bit like Lup and TAZ

Hulk remembers. Remembers a mission where he got stuck away from the Avengers for a month and a half and how he met this woman who made the Earth move and at the time, had been the only one who matched him in strength that either wasn't his baby cousin or Ben Grimm being a good friend

Remembers the thrill and taste of revolution. The joy of being seen and accepted by someone for bother sides of himself and how Caiera would call him "Holku" with that same smile and eyes that struck his heart and make his stomach clench funny

And its easy and hard to remember the quick vows they made before the king was defeated and Hulk decided to go back. Before the King turned out to have survived and locked Caiera away after she gave birth to the most powerful twins on Sakaar

And the memory is there. The clarity is there. Skaar was his son and Hiro-Kala is his son. One got forced to fight and tortured and mind washed and forced to fight his own family in order to claw for any sense of self while the other had been left to fend for themself and they had to find their way and they hadn't done a good job and that just makes it sting more because Hiro-Kala had tried their best but it just wasn't the good type of best.

Big fight. Just. Big fight. Lots of pain and screaming and both of his parents going out of control before Hiro-Kala calms Caiera down and Skaar calms Hulk down. And tbh hell fucking year im picturing ur art here now where they hug and cry because it fits perfect.

Hulk and Caiera...soft moment with their children before finishing what they started properly and killing the Red king. Well. If it was proper HatAoS they would seal him into the Earth instead of Caiera but I mean. Kill.

And after that there's still a lot to be done and the others need to go back but Caiera and Hiro-Kala take over at royalty with the rest of the Warbound being part of the palace and tbh this is mostly so we can see the relationship develop more over the next season and stretch it out a little more?

Hulk and Caiera agree to pen pal while she fixes Sakaar and he fixes Earth. Maybe a bit of a shippy moment ;) and Skaar... hm. Probably stays on Sakaar for a little bit and I like how it gives him a taste of his home and ultimately would mean that he decides whether or not he wants to be Heir Skaar or Smasher Skaar

And while this happens I'm totally picturing cheesy stuff on Earth where all of the Smashers have a moment of missing Skaar and overall needing a fifth member and the fact that Hulk has growing issues about the fact that he has two sons now and he's...kinda failed them both horribly.

What a time for his daughter to make her first appearance by attacking them and kidnapping Jen eh.