#do not think about the order of things here too much i was trying to do chronological

[xervn]

melatonin | 2

two-shot | enemies to fuckers sevika x reader

pt. 1

ao3 link

summary: the aftermath.

18+ MDNI | 3.5k words | tags; canon divergence, sevika is a little mean, reader is a brat, angst?, very light sub/dom, vaginal fingering, semi-public sex, porn w/ plot-ish, no use of y/n

i rewrote this so many times, but here we are... mama i made it..

It’s not what you were expecting. It’s not how you saw things moving forward—not at all. 

Anyone would agree that you two shared a passionate night. Sevika fucked the insomnia out of you. 

So how’d she manage to make you hate her more?

When you woke up, Sevika was on her side of the room, adjusting her deep red poncho. She noticed you were awake and went straight to barking orders at you and proceeded with her thousandth attempt to get you to follow her schedule, which never worked.

It was as if last night didn't happen, and it was all a lucid, raunchy dream with deep moans you could still replay in your head. However, you woke up missing more clothes than you remembered taking off, so you knew that wasn't the case.

You decided to pass her crankiness off as stress, since it was a big day and all, but she only seemed crankier after the meeting. 

Don’t be fooled; you aced it. Your negotiating skills have always been top tier, and you’re incredibly personable, especially with good sleep on your side. You were so buddy-buddy with the Bilgewater traders, they invited you to their pub that night for drinks and karaoke. Exactly your style, a fun offer, but you declined. Declined because you were positive Sevika was going to give you congratulatory sex. Wrong. She gave you nothing but pure silence. 

You can hear hints of humor or sarcasm weaved into words, but you can’t hear any of that in silence. Was she mad at you? Jealous of you? Annoyed by you? 

It reminded you of when you first met Sevika, a time when you tried super hard to impress her, but everything you did ticked her off. You were so good at making friends with clients; total strangers, but not Sevika, even after months of trying. It hurt especially more since you had a massive crush—one everyone but her knew about; Ran still teases you about it from time to time. 

When you think back on it, you’re embarrassed. It shouldn’t have taken you a year to finally get on her case about it, but when you did, there was less judgmental silence and more words. Not the nicest words, but at least it created a semblance of balance—honesty that wasn’t outweighed by one-sided affection. But after that meeting, it was like it all reverted to square one. Silence and one-sided affection. 

That triggered you. 

So, what was it that you were expecting? Marriage? A gold medal? 

No, it was something much simpler. Kindness. The smallest amount of chivalry would’ve made you swoon, but she didn’t give you any. She continued to be the dickhead you were used to, and what did you do? 

You continued to be the dickhead she was used to, obviously. Amplified it even. There’s no such thing as being the bigger person in your dictionary. Not for this. If there’s anything you were bigger at, it was being a bigger cunt. If she was going low, you were going lower—and you stuck to it.

-

Days after the trip, you still haven’t talked to Sevika out of solidarity with yourself. Nothing but surface-level words have been exchanged between you two since that day. No witty remarks, no unnecessary teasing, no fruitless arguments. 

To be fair, there’s nothing you want to talk about. You’re too upset and ashamed. At the time, you couldn’t even discard the little dignity you had left to ask her to “help” you one last time because she factory reset you, and you slept like a baby all night. 

That is until now. Sevika’s magic has worn off, and you’re falling back into your regular routine of staying up late and getting wasted so you don’t have to watch the sunrise for a third time in a row. It wouldn’t be such a bother if you weren’t thinking about her every single night. 

Or during the day when someone says her name and the hairs on your arms stick up. Or when she’s a glance away and your body starts to think you're in a sauna. 

It was undeniable; you still have a crush. As obnoxious as the day it blossomed. You hate it. You should be hating her now more than ever, but your heart is fucking you over, and you’re sleep-deprived and pent up on top of it.

You’ve found yourself fantasizing about and craving a woman that has most likely moved on. It’s pathetic, and it shows you have no backbone, meaning it’s only a matter of time before you do something you will regret forever. 

You couldn’t back down, not after your dramatic promise to yourself that you weren’t going to let her play you again. 

Thankfully, fate graced you with an opportunity to redeem yourself. Silco put you on another short trip back to the port city, and he assigned Sevika to accompany you—expecting her to, since he didn’t bother to call her to his office because of how often you work together.

That meant the ball was in your court, so you did something neither you nor Sevika had ever had the guts to do.

You protested. 

Well, you lied. You told him that Sevika didn’t want to work with you anymore and that it’d be better for you to go with someone else. It’s probably not far from the truth anyway, but honestly, you thought he’d give you a speech about life or ask you to tell her to get over it. Maybe even a ‘fuck off,’ but instead he said, “Very well,” and shooed you out of his office. 

So now you’re at a loss because you didn’t think that far ahead. You didn’t really give it much thought at all and figured, realistically, both of you should be happy in the end. You knew it meant you’d see Sevika less, but you managed to convince yourself you were fine with it; that it was for the best.

“It’s probably the best decision I’ve ever made,” you tell Ran, who’s fiddling with the straw in their drink as they listen to you talk. Laughter, drinks clinking, and jukebox music makes for good background noise. “I’m just shocked, y’know? If I knew he’d accept it so quickly, I would’ve asked earlier.” You laugh half-heartedly. 

Ran twirls around the straw in their cup. “Didn’t I tell you it was that easy?”

You freeze. “Yes, but…”

“You still wanted to work with her.” They grin, going in for a sip.

“No! I genuinely thought he’d be against it.." You grumble.

“Right, right… Well, it’s good news then. You should be happy. Maybe we’ll be assigned together.”

Your eyes light up at the possibility. “That’d be great! There’s this pub I wanted to go to, but…“ You trail off when the bar goes incredibly quiet. There are a few whispers here and there, some more frantic than the others.

Loud, heavy footsteps pound against the wooden flooring, and you notice the pace picking up as the sound travels closer to you. 

You’re not allowing yourself to get ambushed at a time like this, so you turn, and, great heavens, there’s Sevika. 

Your chest, down to your stomach, twists uncomfortably. You’re surprised to see her, and she looks irritated to see you. Her face is plain, but there’s still a prominent frown on her lips.. 

“You.” 

You look around, pretending you’re not sure who she targeted that towards. By now, the bar has resumed its chatter, but Ran has moved three seats down. They give you a little finger wave before turning to the bartender. 

You slowly look up at Sevika, pointing to yourself, “Me?” You question jokingly.

“Get up; let’s go.” She gestures for you to start moving.

You laugh sarcastically, turning away from her on your stool. “Fuck off.” 

A large hand lands on your bicep and pulls. You stagger backwards and onto your feet before you fall over. “What the f—? Let go of me!” 

Sevika says nothing and makes her way to the back of the building, forcing you to walk haphazardly through chairs and tables. Your face warms and contorts in embarrassment, given you’re being dragged to who knows where like you’re a misbehaving toddler. 

You begrudgingly follow along, not that you had much of a choice, and she stops in front of a supply closet. 

“Open it.” She commands monotonously.

You don’t know why, but you do it; you open it. You don’t even question it, and you deserve it when she shoves you in there. 

Her mechanical arm whirs as you stumble in, and it makes a short appearance to slam the door behind herself. Then everything turns blurry in a flash, and your back is suddenly hitting the door. 

“What did you do?” She asks through her teeth.

You try to yank your arm free, but she doesn’t budge. “What did I do? Why are you so angry? Can you fucking let me go?!”

“What did you tell Silco?”

Your heart drops, and your expression must’ve shown it because Sevika groans. You interject, “I told him what you couldn’t.”

“And what is that?”

“You don’t want to work with me.”

Sevika looks at the ceiling for strength, shutting her eyes. She takes a deep breath in. “When did I ever say that?” 

“You don’t have to; I can read it off you.” 

Sevika’s eyes suddenly meet yours, and you flinch. “Yeah? What are you reading now?”

You frantically search, and you stutter, “You’re—you’re pissed?”

“Yes, I’m fucking pissed, Einstein. Did I ask you to make decisions for me?” 

God, you have no idea why she’s so mad about it. Your breathing is picking up, and you don’t know if it’s because of conflict or the fact she hasn’t been this close to you in what feels like ages. “No, but you can stop acting like you’ve never wanted to.” 

“Why do you care? If I wanted to, I would.” She states.

“Sure. You must’ve loved working with Jinx then, huh?”

Sevika looks away to sigh loudly. “That’s not the same thing.” 

“Isn’t it? You don’t like me either—“

“What is your problem? Why don’t you just admit that it’s you who doesn’t want to work with me? It’s you who doesn’t like me.” She spits. Her jaw clenches as she calms down. “I’m ‘difficult’ now because of you. I’d like one day—one week—without Silco complaining when I’m doing my best.” She sighs.

Your mind goes blank. “I’m—I didn’t know he’d say that… He seemed okay with it, and I didn’t know you’d be upset.” You utter, completely guilt-ridden.

“I swear—you only think about yourself. Fuck everyone else living, right?”

“What? No, I didn’t…”

“Didn’t think? Do you think?” She exasperates.

It works, and you huff. “I thought you would be jumping for joy. Why aren’t you fucking ecstatic?” You ask angrily.

“Nothing about this is good for me. Or you. Unless you think Dustin can protect you.” She scoffs.

“Dustin? Well… well…” You didn’t think about that. 

You abandon the sentence. “You can be mad, but not this mad. I should be this mad. We did things together. Things you don’t try to forget about, and that’s what you—looked like you did.” You say, correcting yourself because you’ve learned your lesson from assuming things. 

Sevika looks heavily perplexed. “You’re the one who stopped talking to me.”

“No, actually, you are. Not to mention your first words to me the morning after we fucked were, ‘You have twenty minutes.’”

“You had twenty minutes. Did you want a ‘good morning, baby’ first?” She scoffs, shaking her head.

Your stomach does a somersault. “I don’t know.” 

Sevika pauses, making what feels like judgy eye contact with you. “You don’t know?”

“I don’t know, but I do know that you acted like nothing happened and went straight to being bossy.”

“Huh. I thought you liked that.” She replies, and there’s something in the way she said it that makes your legs falter.

“When did I ever—“ The air changed, you notice. “When did I ever like that…?” 

Sevika studies your face for a few seconds. The silence is unnerving. It’s like time slowed, because you have no idea when she’ll speak or what she’ll say. “Somewhere between you moaning my name and cumming on my fingers.” She bluntly states.

You choke on your spit, coughing. There were a million different ways that could’ve gone. Most of them sounded like that, but it still caught you off guard.

“What? You said I forgot about it. I’m trying to jog up my memory,” she teases.

You frown, but it comes off as endearing, so much so it makes Sevika awe. “Don’t you want me to remember? I’m remembering.”

“That’s not what I meant. I meant you acted no different from the day before, and you never, y’know, came to me again after that either.” 

Then regret starts rushing in. You used to curse your friends out when they got back with their shitty situationships. You know what it feels like now. You can’t believe you alluded to sex, let alone wanting it at a time like this, but she did it first, to be fair.

You two stare at each other for several beats. 

“Came to you?” A smile begins to form on Sevika’s lips.

You shake your head, as unconcerned as you can make it. “Shut up. Forget I said anything.“

Her head tilts slightly. She looks you up and down. “I don’t think I will.” 

You exhale loudly, "I'm so serious."

"No, really, tell me what you meant by that. "

"You know exactly what I meant."

She perks an eyebrow at you, and you roll your eyes in response. She huffs out a laugh.

Sevika swivels you around so you’re facing the door, so fast you have to catch yourself with both hands so you don’t face-plant into it. "What are you—!"

Her flesh hand slides across your waist, and then she suddenly jerks you towards her, making you bend over just enough for you to poke out.

In contrast to how she was manhandling you before, she slowly presses herself against your ass but makes sure to hold her place firmly, like she was planning on leaving a print there, rolling her hips into you as if she doesn’t wanna miss a spot. 

Leaning over you, she whispers, “This is what you wanted, right?” So close to your ear, you can feel her words brushing against it. Your whole body shudders, and all your sexual frustration starts to unravel.

You peer back at her with a glare that’s too clouded with lust to be intimidating. “You’re so full of yourself.” 

“You love it,” She replies, so surely, because you haven’t noticed how desperately you’ve been backing into her, chasing the sliver of friction she gave you a moment ago. She drifts her hand towards your front, and between the legs you immediately begin parting for her. "But I could stop..."

"Don't." You interrupt. You don't have to see her to know she's got on an egotistical grin.

Four fingers feel down your covered cunt, then back up, lingering at your clit with purpose. Your thighs threaten to close around Sevika’s hand, and you pathetically whine out her name. 

She hums questioningly, knowing she wasn’t getting an answer from you. She finds the waistband of your pants, shoving her hand underneath, panties and all. The warm heat and slickness of your wetness meet her palm. “You really love it.”

You inhale sharply, placing your forehead against the door. “ I hate you...”

She laughs darkly, and her fingers part meticulously over your folds, massaging your clit between her fingers. “Is that what we’re doing? I 'hate' you too,” she says, “I’ll show you.”

You moan at that, and Sevika harmonizes. You don’t feel an ounce of shame. All your self-respect left when you opened the door. “Please.” 

Sevika's finger presses against your entrance teasingly. It doesn’t take much longer before she slides two fingers in you; her middle and ring, and scissors them in you so you adjust to the size of them properly. You groan, muffling yourself into the back of your hand. The heel of her palm is so close, yet so far from your clit, and you still need it there. 

It was as if she read your mind. Sevika brings her hand closer, and her fingers curl in you as a result. They slowly straighten out, then curl again, straighten out, curl in, and now she’s restlessly fucking her fingers into you while you needily hump into the palm of her big, scarred hand. All that movement makes it messy, but messy feels so good. 

So much heavy breathing and pitchy whines. You’re trying your hardest not to make noise, but all your best attempts are strained and guttural. It drives Sevika insane. They’re better than she remembered. “Stop trying. Let them hear how much you hate me.” She murmurs against you.

You lightly shake your head, refusing to do something so mortifying yet so fucking hot—in theory. Until cold metal fingers appear under your jaw. “C’mon, baby, please?” She coos.

There’s the first crack in your metaphorical dam. Your legs start wobbling. “Fuck—I h—hate you.” You pant out, not entirely because she asked you to; you were a little upset with how well she threw that pet name in there. 

It makes her chuckle. “You said I never ’came to you,’ but I’ll tell you a little secret,” she says, breath staggering from her constant movement, “I came to the thought of your fucked-out face last night,” she confesses. You sob out her name, and she soothes it with a full kiss on your cheek; so unexpected, you can feel your heart lurch forward. “And the day before, and the day before that, and—you get it, yeah? I couldn’t forget you if I tried.”  

You’re getting closer; pussy tensing, and your heart is racing. So much to process in such little time. “… I missed you.” You breathlessly whisper. You missed her tangents, her nagging, and the dumb fucking arguments. You missed her; it was true, and you admitted it to her before you admitted it to yourself.

“Did you?” She asks softly. You can tell she’s really wondering. Her fingers still haven’t slowed down a bit, however.

“Mhmm—shit—wait.” You’re on the brink of undoing, and you don’t know if you can speak any further.

Sevika presses herself closer to you. “Tell me one more time.” She gruffly demands, like it was a need. It may as well be.

Your anticipated orgasm fills up to the brim; your eyes press shut. “I m—I missed you so,” you come; your moans are barely controllable, and your hips are stuttering against her hand, “s—ugh—much, Sev...”

Sevika’s mech hand turns your face towards her, and your heavy eyes momentarily widen when her lips meet yours in a fervent kiss. She removes her fingers from you, and when you cry at the loss, she slides her tongue across yours—that shuts you up real quick. She leaves her hand there, just so you can grind out your orgasm a little longer. 

Sevika stopped letting her brain control her; she wasn't going to let it get in the way of this. She's been dreaming about kissing you since she realized it was an option.

You didn’t know how badly you needed to kiss her. You weren’t sure you’d ever, but with how perfectly her lips feel on yours, this can’t be the last time. You really hope it’s not the last time.

But you pull away. “What is this...?” You ask shakily, trying to catch your breath.

Sevika’s eyes keep flickering to your kiss swollen lips, clearly drunk on them; she doesn’t understand what you’re saying yet. “What’s what?”

“This. What are we doing? Is it just—just sex like you said it was?”

Sevika zones back in, and there’s a lump in her throat. She can’t say she never said that, because she did. She swallows hard, retracting her hand from between your thighs, and gently turns you around so you’re facing her. 

She says your name, “It has never been ‘just sex.’ It would never be that with you.”

You try to assess the validity of that, staring at her doubtingly. “You ignored me the entire day after.” You mention.

Sevika’s face warms up, and she looks to the side. “I got jealous.”

Your brows furrow. “Of what?”

“You were so friendly with those Bilgewater folks, and it pissed me off,” she grumbles. “Then I got frustrated with myself, because I’m the reason you hate me. At the time, it made sense to go back to how it was before,” she exhales sadly, “I’m sorry.”

You awkwardly play with your hands. Sevika frowns, hoping you say something soon. “The reason why I stopped talking to you wasn’t because I hate you; I thought you did, so I... I don't know what to say other than I’m incredibly petty and childish. I’m sorry—and I shouldn’t have said anything to Silco either.” 

“I wouldn’t let you go without me anyways.” She looks so serious when she says that, but you can’t help but giggle. It’s going to take a while for you guys to get through all your apologies properly, but this is a good start.

“I do prefer you, so...” You add, smiling up at her coyly.

She has a grin—the big win kind—and you gravitate towards her for a kiss, wrapping your arms around her shoulders. It’s much gentler and warmer than the first time. You’re sure there’ll be more where that came from. 

—

“Ran, hey.” You take a seat by them, wanting to wrap things up before you go. Quickly too, since Sevika is waiting.

“Hey,” they reply, eyeing you oddly, “I went to check on you earlier; make sure Sevika wasn’t dismembering you or something, but it sounded super scary in there, like you really hated her, so I ran away…” They pretend to cower in fear before sputtering out a laugh.

“Alright then. Goodnight.” You silently get up and start walking out. Ran’s laughter doubles.

[anakinstwinklebunny]

thinking about a tied up james kelly 🤤

Author's note: that man whimpers 🔝

JAMES KELLY was wrecked. Absolutely, undeniably wrecked. Wrists strained against the silk ties binding them to the headboard, knuckles white as he clenched his fists in helplessness he had never felt. All his life he thought he was the one to keep things in control; in bed, in public life. But he did not thought about a possibility where you'd just straightforward hypnotize him, tying him up before he could even protest. Now his eyes were wide, as if frightened, looking at you as if you were his salvation..

You stood at the edge of the bed, wearing nothing but a this twisted, proud of yourself smirk, savoring the vulnerable (for now) sight of him. His stormy eyes burned with frustration, flickering between your face and the soft curves of your body that he loved so much. Slowly, you climbed onto the bed, like a cat, straddling his thighs and running your fingers over his broad chest. His skin was hot under your touch, his muscles twitching.

“That mouth of yours, James,” you mused, dragging your nails down his torso until you reached the trail of hair leading to his cock. “Always running. Maybe I should’ve tied it shut too.”

He sighed a breath of turmoil inside of him, hips bucking up in a futile attempt to get some friction. “Untie me, baby,” he rasped in this begging tone. “Let me show you what this mouth can really do.”

You leaned in close, so your lips could graze over his ear. “Oh, no,” you whispered, grinding your wetness against his length, teasing him with every slow roll of your hips. “You’re not in charge here, James. I am.”

His breath hitched at the way you pronounced his name, a deep groan escaping him. “Fucking hell,” he muttered. “You’re so hot right now”

“Goddamn it,” he groaned as if he was both frustrated and in pain “Stop fuckin’ teasing and take it, baby. You know you need it as bad as I do.”

You laughed softly, kissing along the line of his jaw before pulling back to look into his desperate, hungry eyes with a smirk painted across your face. Sliding back, you positioned yourself above him, letting his thick cock press against your folds yet in a way that won't give him the satisfaction of fully sinking in. His head fell back against the headboard, a string of curses falling from his lips.

You tilted your head, pretending to consider his demand, before shaking your head. “You don’t get to give orders tonight, James,” you said, dragging the slick head of his cock through your folds, making him shudder. “You’ll get what I decide to give you. When I decide to give it to you.”

“Fuck, baby,” voice breaking. “Please, I’ll do anything. Just let me feel you.”

You smirked, finally sinking down onto him, inch by agonizing inch, until he was buried to the hilt inside you. His head snapped forward, jaw clenching as he watched you take him, his cock stretching you so perfectly it had you moaning aloud.

“aghh--uhhhg” he hissed, arms pulling uselessly at the restraints till veins were visible under his skin. “You’re so damn tight. Feels like you’re trying to milk me dry already.”

You began to move, slow and deliberate, grinding your hips as his cock hit every spot that made you see stars. James was a mess beneath you, his breathing ragged, his head thrown back as he fought to keep himself from losing it.

“Look at you,” you run your hands over his chest. “Big, tough James Kelly, being a pathetic boy"

“Don’t get used to it,” he ground out, voice strained, face flushing red. “Soon as I’m free, I’m flipping you over and fucking you until you forget your own name.”

You smirked, picking up the pace, the sound of your slick arousal and his choked groans filling the room. “Big talk for a man tied up and helpless,” you teased, dragging your nails down his abs.

James glared up at you. “Untie me,” voice dropping an octave. “I dare you.”

You ignored him, rolling your hips faster, leaning back to give him a perfect view of your body. His eyes locked onto where his cock disappeared into you, breath catching, mouth opening to let another set of moans and whimpers.

“Fuck" he gasped, eyes not leaving the scene unfolding before him "..look at this greedy little cunt,” he bit out, voice a mix of awe and frustration. “Swallowing me whole..just takin' me so good, baby. Damn..”

You threw your head back, moaning as you chased your soon-to-come release, the sight of James tied up and at your mercy sending you hurtling towards the edge. He watched you, jaw slack, and suddenly, as if he came up with something smart - he bucked his hips up to meet your movements as best as he could, just to make you as desperate and helpless as he was

“That’s it,” he rasped in this gaspy way, lifting his hips faster “Come on, baby. Let me feel you come all over my cock..”

His words pushed you over the edge, and you cried out, body trembling as you came, clenching around him. James groaned loudly, his hips jerking as he spilled inside you, filling you to the brim with his release, the liquids mixing in your body.

As you came down from your high, you leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “Good boy,” you murmured, reaching up to untie his wrists.

TAG LIST: @kingdomhate @divineani @haydensprettyprincess @skyguys-princess @catnipaddictt @heartscone @haydensbbg @inneedsoffanfics @jediavengers @literally-izzy @anisluvrgirl @slutforfinnickodair @xhunnybeeex @fuckmyskywalker @gallerygourmet @deceptiive @rssmary @anakinskwkler @bimbo-baggins17 @cookybananas @emotionallybruisedx @diorvalentina @sevinax @throughparisallthroughrome @aniiuv @ritosparty @ninastyless @lily-strnlo @thesassypadawan @awhhayden @sydkneez @anisangeldust @l1ttle-misssunsh1ne

[remlionheart]

Growing Pains

part three

♡ˎˊ˗ hiiii, welcome to the final installment of the fic that’s taken over my life for the last four months ♡ ̆̈ be sure to start here if you're new ♡ moving on from this story will be emotional i can’t lie, i've gotten way too invested in this but i'm very happy that i was able to see it through and hopefully do it justice. what started off as a small idea turned into something much bigger and i'm so thankful for all of the love and support you guys gave me. i love u all SO much, thanks for sticking with me on this ♡ biblically-cannon-megumi x fem!reader. slow burn. hurt / comfort. aged up characters. forced proximity. (light) enemies to lovers. eventual smut. this is what jjk could've been if fushiguro was the main character and gege would’ve been hugged as a child. lemme know whatcha think, luv u ♡ˎˊ˗

₊⊹♡ MDNI ₊⊹♡

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

You'd lied for him.

Despite absolutely everything– despite your better judgement, despite the sick, burning sense of anxiety that had taken over your mind and body, you'd still... covered for him. Giving Gojo vague and concise answers, fabricating lies to make Megumi's late-night disappearances seem less concerning than they actually were. Telling him that it'd just started happening instead of admitting that it'd actually been going on for nearly two months. Painting a soft, false picture that he was usually only ever gone for an hour at a time though there had been several nights he hadn't made it back until nearly 4 in the morning. Mending his worries with whatever reassuring words you could string together to make him loosen up on his questioning until he'd finally closed the door to your dorm, leaving you with a poignant– "If anything else happens, you come find me."

You weren't sure how you'd managed to hold it together so well, but the minute it was just you alone with your thoughts again, you found your hands trembling as you rushed over to his side of the room. Reminding yourself to breathe while you rummaged through his bookshelf and nightstand for any sort of explanation.

Going through his things felt wrong, but not going through them would've somehow felt worse. If you'd learned anything from your time spent with him, it was that Megumi Fushiguro was a lot of things, but deceitful without cause wasn't one of them. He wasn't the type to lie for no reason. He held his secrets unreasonably close to his chest but never out of malice. If he was hiding something, if he was lying to you, Gojo, Nobara, and Yuuji– arguably the only people he'd ever really let in, it wasn't because he wanted to.

His belongings were every bit as organized and well-guarded as he was though, hardly anything seeming suspicious or out of place no matter how many journals and textbooks you searched through. You were trying to be as meticulous as you could, doing your very best not to acknowledge the race against the clock you knew were up against or the ever-increasing weight that was sitting on your chest as you reached for the only book left– the one that you'd gifted him for his birthday.

You pushed past your body's consternation, carefully flipping through the pages when finally, a folded up loose-leaf piece of paper fell out of it, making your heart completely abandon any semblance of a steady rhythm.

It was a series of bullet-points mostly, jotted down information about reversed curse techniques and different types of healing abilities that didn't seem to go in any particular order. You were almost afraid that you'd hit another dead-end until your eyes landed on the bottom of the page. Your legs suddenly struggling to keep you upright as you trailed over his handwriting, all of the rigid pieces of the last few months gradually beginning to unravel and connect.

"Technique Name: 'Kokoro Kiri' - also known as Heart Severing," it read, "is a reversed curse technique developed to manipulate, distort, and erase memories by severing the spiritual and emotional connections tied within a person's mind. This technique utilizes cursed energy to fracture the target's emotional bonds to certain experiences and people, effectively making them unable to access specific memories."

The page nearly slipped from your grasp, your hand suddenly shaking beyond your control as you forced yourself to take a seat on the edge of his bed. Your breathing was alarmingly uneven, tears desperately trying to push their way out no matter how hard you fought to keep them at bay. As much as you wanted to lie to yourself– to naively choose to believe that all of this somehow wasn't directly related to you, you couldn't.

Reality had you backed into a corner with its steel grip locked firmly around your neck and there was no escaping it.

Your vision was blurry, the words almost bleeding together as you continued on to the last paragraph, "Memory Fragmentation– typically performed by a healer, is used to destroy emotional and cognitive connections attached to selected memories or selected people in the target's mind. In some extreme cases, a skilled enough user may even have the capability to erase large portions of their target's past or sever bonds between them and a specified individual. Unlike memory manipulation or distortion, this ability creates a void in the target's mind, leaving them with a permanent sense of disconnection from who or what was once there."

The oxygen had all but vanished from the room as you stared back at his words, a devastatingly cruel fate laid out in such pretty handwriting. It was hard to fathom, that the same hands that had touched you so gently– the ones that had played with your hair until you'd fallen asleep, the ones that had tangled into yours on the nights that neither one of you wanted to be alone were the same ones that had been carrying around the weight of this plan all along.

You knew him well enough to know that this wasn't something he'd just decided on– no, nothing Megumi ever did was half-thought-out or impulsive. He was unbearably analytical. Annoyingly thorough when it came to most things, but especially research. He'd never bother to waste his time on variables or flimsy possibilities. If he was going to do something, he had to be impossibly sure that it would work, which meant that this… this must've been a guarantee.

All of those moments of hesitation– both big and small. The layers of distance and formality. The harsh, venomous silence that he used to separate himself from you. They all finally made sense.

"Itadori. Kugisaki. Anyone else here that you meet, for that matter," he'd said, "they’re not your friends.”

The tears that streamed down your face were painful and completely unavoidable as you pulled your knees up to your chest, letting your head rest against your arm while his words continued to haunt you.

“You can’t avoid it forever." The way he'd said it had felt so cold and unwarranted at the time. "You’re gonna have to get used to loss and to keeping everyone you meet at a distance." But it'd never occurred to you until now just how necessary that conversation actually was.

It had been a warning, not for you, but for himself.

Your body was numb, mind completely overrun with questions that you weren't sure you even wanted answers to, and they just kept multiplying the longer you sat with it all.

You allowed yourself another minute to breathe before slowly unfolding your legs and using the sleeve of your hoodie to dry your cheeks. Letting your eyes drift over the page one last time as you carefully tucked it into his book again and got to your feet, wedging it back into the spot you'd taken it from.

Would he have told you? Or would you have woken up one day with a void in the place that he should've been, not even realizing that something was missing? How far did this go, exactly? If there were different degrees of memory fragmentation, where did his interest in using it begin and where did it end?

The only real thing that made sense to you was that this must've been some sort of loophole to negate his contract with Yaga. To either free you from Jujutsu Society as a whole or to break his tie to you. It was too late at this point though– after everything that had happened, you didn't want to go down either of those paths and the fact that he did, the fact that he had somehow come to terms with the entirety of this... it made you realize that maybe you'd never actually known him at all.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket, abruptly pulling you back to reality as his name flashed across the screen: "No project tonight," it read, "it'll finally just be us."

You stared at the text, unable to even write back a simple reply with how hard it was to keep yourself standing upright and steady. Your thumbs hovered above the keys, almost typing, but never actually letting a full thought form before another blue bubble popped up from him: "I wish it could always just be us."

Tears were instantly pricking at the corners of your eyes again, your insides burning as your chest constricted. Precarious but determined fingertips spelling out the last bit of honesty that seemed to exist between the two of you–

"It could’ve been...”

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

He was frozen in place, the cold chill of the abandoned church that they'd been assigned to suddenly feeling like the very least haunting thing he was up against as he stashed his phone back into his pocket. Nothing had gone right since you'd dropped the three of them off. They'd been stuck in the same cathedral for hours and still hadn't found so much as a trace of cursed energy despite how small the area was.

Everyone was getting worn down and frustrated, but they didn't have the luxury of coming back empty-handed. His concern should've been on finding a solution, on checking the place over again to see if there was a hidden door or passageway that they'd somehow missed– something, anything that might lead them to the cursed object they were supposed to find. But instead, the only thought occupying his scattered, sleep-deprived mind was your use of the word "could've". The concise, intentional past-tense bite it had to it.

You were more similar to him than he'd care to admit, clumsy with your words at times and prone to rambling when nervous, but just like him, you never spoke out of turn. You were tactful. Soft-spoken, yet very deliberate when it came to expressing your feelings.

"Could've been" felt like a serrated knife because it was meant to. "Could've been" held the weight of a threat because it was one. "Could've been" implied that you knew something because–

"God, this is a pain in the ass," Kugisaki huffed, rolling a piece of rubble under her shoe as Fushiguro found himself actually pacing the longer he mulled over it. "We've looked damn near everywhere, there's nothing here!"

"Maybe Gojo gave us the wrong coordinates." Itadori shrugged, plopping himself down on one of the concrete pews as he stretched his arms behind his head.

Gojo.

Why did everything in his god-forsaken life have to lead back to Gojo?

You were the only two people at Jujutsu High with everyone else being out on missions– of course he'd tried to talk to you to see how things had been going. Gojo was constantly keeping tabs on him, always poking around to see how he was doing even when it was none of his concern. And you, being you– you'd probably been honest with him, not understanding how consequential your answers were.

The picture had become excruciatingly clear to him, what must've led up to that one single text from you. There was no wishful thinking left, no maybes or what-ifs that could possibly free him from this hell that you were both aware of now. Reality had him in the same chokehold it had you in, its grip just as merciless around his throat too– you knew and the only thing he could do was accept it.

He drew in a sharp breath, running a staggered hand over his face as his footsteps finally came to a pause. "We're withdrawing for now."

Kugisaki's eyes snapped up towards his, a blend of relief and confusion sweeping over her as she blinked back at him. "You sure?"

Fushiguro had never backed down from an assignment. Never tapped out no matter how long or grueling a mission was, but this was different. He could barely focus on anything, could barely keep himself present and coherent let alone concentrate on piecing together the layout of this abandoned building.

He needed to talk to you. Needed to get back to his room as soon as he could. It was the first time in his life that his emotions had managed to overrule his logic. Whatever was here clearly wasn't as threatening as it was thought to be– it could wait, you couldn't.

He pulled his phone from his pocket, shooting you a text to let you know that they were ready as he motioned for Itadori and Kugisaki to follow him.

"We'll come back tomorrow," he reasoned, trying to sound more sure of himself than he actually was, "we can talk to Gojo about it in the morning and reconvene when we have more information, but there's no sense in staying here all night."

He knew neither of them would fight him on the decision, they'd both been practically half-way out the door before he'd even said anything anyway.

He stuffed his hands into his jacket, a sobering gust of late-winter air swirling around him as they stepped outside and started heading towards the cafe that you'd dropped them off at earlier.

Nervousness wasn't a feeling he knew well, but it had become a deep, painful pit in the center of his stomach the closer they got to you. There was so much he had to explain, so many agonizing words that he had to somehow make seem acceptable even though they were anything but.

He hesitated as he reached for the car door, his eyes meeting yours with all the caution in the world before he finally settled into the passenger's seat and gently reached over to rest the palm of his hand on your thigh, almost flinching at the idea of you pushing him away. It was hard to process that you'd somehow become both the cause and the remedy to his distress.

Your voice was even, your composure seemingly in-tact, but the way you looked at him... your glossy, defeated stare told a completely different story than the nonchalant facade you were putting on for your friends.

The ride back was unnervingly calm– you, Itadori, and Kugisaki all chatting back and forth, the volume of the radio getting turned up and down every few minutes depending on the song, Kugisaki's laughter echoing from the backseat at something Itadori had said. He found his grip tightening around your leg in a feeble attempt to stop his racing thoughts while his head rested against the window when the warmth of your hand landed on top of his. Your eyes subtly drifting over to him with more reassurance than he deserved.

His heart was lodged in his throat by the time you pulled into the parking lot, each step feeling more damning than the last as you made your way to the dorms until you'd finally reached the end of the hall. You both waved and said your goodnights to Itadori and Kugisaki before you dug your key out of your hoodie and opened the door, leaving him alone with you and the truths he couldn't possibly say.

It was quiet, the tension in the room absolutely suffocating as you stripped out of your coats and put your uniforms away, dodging glances from each other while changing into your usual sleepwear. He took a seat on the side of his bed, his pulse ringing through his ears as he watched you put your hair up in the mirror.

He could see your apprehension– the internal debate of whether to say something or stay silent. The indecision of retreating back to your bed or his. It was in every movement you made, every small detail of your mannerisms plagued with a sense of uncertainty that made him ache.

He swallowed hard as he reached his hand out to you, "Can you–" He cleared his throat, watching you slowly turn to face him. "Can you come here?"

The same hurt he was feeling was reflected in your gaze, your breathing coming to a visible stop as you struggled to look back at him.

"Please?"

His voice was barely a whisper, wavering and broken but still strong enough to pull you in.

You turned off the light before taking his hand, letting his arms wrap around you as you burrowed yourself into his chest. The familiar scent of him settling your nerves while his lips pressed against the top of your head and his fingertips began drawing soft, hazy patterns along your shoulder. The two of you welcoming the calm silence that followed as you sank further into the safety of one another.

Growing up, you'd never really known if home was supposed to be a place or a feeling. You'd lost it so many years ago, you figured there wasn't much sense in giving significance to a word that didn't belong in your vocabulary anymore anyway, but finally being with him after the day that you'd both had... You quickly realized that maybe it still did exist after all– not as a place or a feeling, but as both. It was here, right inside the small space between you. It was this, the sound of his heart beating steadily against your temple.

It was him and there was going to come a day where you'd wake up without the privilege of even being able to remember the beauty of what you'd lost.

Your chest heaved against your will, tears soaking his shirt as they spilled down your cheeks, the weight of it all becoming far too crippling to bear. Your arms locked around his waist desperately. Hopeless, childlike thoughts suddenly soaring through your mind like– maybe if you held onto him tight enough, you could somehow stay here forever, maybe if you could find the right things to say then time wouldn't have to carry on.

His grasp mirrored yours, holding you as steady as he could while letting out soft little nothings that all bled together, “Shh, it's okay. I've got you." and "Please breathe, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

He was dangerously close to his own breaking point too though, the only thing holding him together was the need to be strong for you. His resolve was crumbling, every wall he'd ever built absolutely annihilated by the feeling of your nails digging into his sides as you clung onto him like he was the most important thing in the world.

"I don't–want–" you shook your head at the thought, your words choppy and almost impossible to get out. "I don't... want to– leave you."

He let out a semblance of an exhale, fighting to keep his hands from shaking as he guided you down onto the bed with him so that you were both laying down with his arms still wrapped around you and your head back on his chest.

The way you trembled against him as he ran his fingers through your hair was the exact reason why he'd kept all of this hidden in the first place– the same reason why he'd tried so hard to keep his distance from you. This pain would've always been inevitable for him, but it shouldn't have been for you.

He continued to brush away your tears, more reassuring whispers spilling out every so often until your body finally started to relax. Your breathing gradually coming back down to a normal pace while his thumb traced along your neck.

"If it were up to me," he swallowed, forcing his vision to stay pointed up at the ceiling. "Things would be different."

You lifted your head slightly, your eyes roaming over his face as your fingers absentmindedly tangled into the collar of his shirt.

"You'd stay here with me. We'd graduate together." He rested a hand over his forehead to keep himself distracted from the weight of your stare, knowing it was the only way he could the next part out. "But, that's not how this place works– things are rarely good and when they are, they don't last long. There's... a lot– so much you don't know about the contract that's keeping you here."

Your lips parted, but no words came out, your shoulders suddenly stiff again as you watched him.

"I haven’t been protecting you because Yaga told me to or because Gojo told me to or even because it was my assignment to... I’ve been protecting you because it's what I promised myself I would do."

It was like looking into a storm over the ocean when his eyes met yours again, graveness mixed guilt. "I need you to listen to me, okay? Really listen to me. This doesn't leave this room. This doesn't leave us."

You gave him a slow nod, chills splintering down your spine as he cupped your face with his hand.

"Yaga's original plan to have you executed didn't necessarily end just because I intervened. All I was able to do was postpone it and have the responsibility of who would carry it out be... transferred."

The air had officially been stolen from your lungs.

"My job? My actual mission when it comes to you? Is to monitor you. To watch you. To see if you'll have any lingering effects after coming into contact with Sukuna's finger as a non-sorcerer. You might as well be a science experiment to Yaga and the other higher-ups.” The disgust in his voice was thick, heavy. “I'm supposed to be the one to make sure nothing goes wrong while you're here. I'm contracted to keep close tabs on you to ensure that if Sukuna takes over Yuuji's body to try and coax information out of you, you aren't able to give it to him..."

It was the first time you'd seen his emotions evolve past his usual irritability or stoicism. He'd finally reached the core of it. The root of all of the negativity that he had bottled up inside of him for so long. It wasn't something as simple as anger or resentment– no, it was... grief that he’d been facing.

"The agreement was never for me to keep you safe, it was for me... to kill you if you became too much of a liability." He could barely look at you, his jaw clenched, the room blurred by tears he wasn't prepared to shed.

"That's why– I leave every night... I got Shoko to tip me off to a healer on the outskirts of Tokyo and we've been... going over different techniques... I've been burying myself in research, trying to figure out–" He paused, more violent waves of shame crashing over him as his thumb continued to lightly trace your jawline. "Trying to figure out the least invasive way to go about this because I– don't want it to... hurt. I want you to be able to keep as many memories as you can. I... want it to be... quick and painless. I– just want you to be... safe. Safe and out of here. That's all I care about."

You were crying again, but this time for both of you, for every single dismal decision that had been made and led to this.

You almost felt selfish for your own feelings, finally seeing the full scope of his. He'd saved you– again and again. And even after managing to find a way to do it one last time, he was still on the losing side of it. He would always be bound to the knowledge of what he'd done to you no matter how much time passed. You'd go on to not remember him, but oh god, would he remember you.

He'd been mourning you since the day you arrived and it'd only been getting worse with each day that he woke up with your body pressed against his. Even when he fought to find solutions, they still came with such a steep price that they ended up feeling like losses in disguise.

Neither side of this was fair. You'd be a late-night what-if that haunted him for the rest of his life and he'd be that place between sleep and awake for you. That confusing, gut-wrenching feeling of waking up and missing someone so immensely only to question if they'd ever really existed or not.

Both of your fates were equally cruel in vastly different ways, but realizing the selflessness behind his plan made something inside of you break. Everything he'd done, all of it, had always been for... you.

His hands were firm and secure against the sides of your face as he guided you up to him, looking back at you with all of the strength he had left.

"You've gotta trust me, okay?" Even through your own tears, you could still seehis too. Just barely pricking at the corners of his eyes as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear like he'd done so many times before only none of it felt the way it should've. "I'll get you out of here. I won't let anything happen to you. But I need you to promise you won't fight me on this because.... it's the only way... we have to be in this together. Please."

Your breathing was staggered, your mind completely overwhelmed by promises you couldn't possibly make but had to. Feelings you absolutely couldn't lose but had to.

"What happens to you?" You faltered. "After all of this is said and done– where will it leave you?"

You couldn't help but think that the somber smile that cut across his face was one of the prettiest and most devasting things you'd ever get to see in your life.

"Doesn't really matter..." he whispered, featherlight touches still trailing across your skin. "I get to know that you're okay and that's enough."

His grip tightened around you, delicately pulling you closer to him until his mouth was grazing yours. "Promise me."

You wouldn't– you wouldn't do this for anyone else in the entire fucking world, and yet, you'd do it... for him. Your voice was shattered, barely audible as you finally agreed.

"Promise."

He rested his forehead rested against yours, taking a moment to soak you in. To share the same space as you. To hold you and know that he didn't have to let go just yet.

"You know, I used to watch you too." he said, lips softly pressing into yours as more tears spilled down your cheeks. "Across from the courtyard– you sat in the very back corner with a book in your hand. I always liked that about you."

You shook your head in disbelief with a half-hearted smile as he kissed you, again and again, more easy little confessions from him slipping out between breaths. Quietly reminiscing while he played with your hair, easing the room back into its usual calm state before he reached for the comforter and wrapped it around the two of you, letting your head nuzzle into the crook of his neck.

He watched you intently as you slowly began to drift off, your words tapering down to incoherent little hums while your body tangled further into his. Exhaustion finally stealing you away. He laid as still as he could, memorizing the ceiling pattern while the sound of your breathing mixed with the snow tapping against the window. The warmth of your skin perfectly contrasting the frigid temperatures outside.

Maybe Gojo had been right after all– because from where he was laying, he really couldn’t imagine any curse or nightmare or hell that was scarier than what he was feeling right now.

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

The next day was a blur.

Ijichi returned back to class– but you didn't, refusing to leave the comfort of Megumi's bed. As much as you both needed to keep up appearances to avoid any more suspicion being tossed his way from the higher-ups, he still didn't fight you when you told him you weren't going. "I just..." you'd hesitated, your body not at all ready to untangle itself from the faux safety of his sheets. "I think I need a day to..."

"I get it." His eyes were just as exhausted and heavy as yours, but he'd still tucked you in anyway, gently wrapping his blanket around your shoulders as his stare lingered over you for a moment. "Don't worry about Ijichi," he said, "I'll tell him you're not coming. Shouldn't be a big deal. Just... try and get some rest."

You'd nodded, a seed of guilt settling into the pit of your stomach for not being able to pull yourself together when you knew he didn't have any other choice. He didn't fault you for it though– instead, he'd kissed the side of your cheek, whispering a soft but impossible, "It's gonna be alright." before smoothing down the collar of his uniform and heading out the door.

All of the progress that you'd made over the last six months– all of the painfully naïve optimism that you'd been clinging onto about finding purpose and normalcy suddenly felt so hollow, cruel almost. If Megumi's plan played out the way it was supposed to, it meant that you had approximately 9 days left until your mind would be permanently altered in ways that you couldn't even begin to let yourself try and comprehend.

You'd decided that you'd return back to class tomorrow– you'd take your meaningless little quizzes on probability and ratios and listen to Ijichi's lectures and do your very best to pretend that it didn't feel like your insides were catching fire with each passing minute. You'd put your best fake smile forward and go through the motions no matter how much of a slow death it felt like, because that's what you promised Megumi you'd do. But until tomorrow came, you weren't leaving his bed for anything.

You drew in a sharp breath, willing to time to stop, even if just for a second as you attempted to declutter your thoughts. Maybe it was a coping mechanism or maybe it was because you were all too aware of the fact that soon, they'd no longer be there, but you couldn't stop yourself from sifting through old memories. Digging through the recesses of your mind like it was an old attic, letting nostalgia crash over you so hard you were almost afraid you wouldn't be able to find your way back to the present.

It started off slow, little snippets and fragments of mid-July air and the sound of your childhood best friend's laughter. Easy things like swing sets and waking up to the smell of fresh-baked bread at your grandma's house, but then you really started to remember the details. The duality and nuances of that house...

You rolled over as you rested your head in your hand, a painful static rippling through your mind.

You'd had to start over so many times in life– from the unexpected death of your parents when you were a kid, to moving into your grandma's house the summer before middle school after she'd gained full custody of you... She'd always been so kind and gentle but also feeble with a slew of health issues surrounding her. You'd been terrified when you'd lost her freshmen year, completely unsure of what your fate would be. You'd managed to avoid foster care though, quietly living in her house alone since it was already paid off. Keeping the utilities and yourself afloat with the small bank account she'd left you with.

"Come by my place after school," you'd never forget how relieved you were when he'd offered his house for that project instead of asking about yours.

Your life had been uprooted more times than you could count, everyone you'd ever loved ended up being torn away from you in the most unexpected and unfair ways imaginable... But even with everything that you'd faced, there was still nothing that could've prepared you for what happened at that party.

Your best friend who went with you... the way she held your hand while the two of you browsed through thrift stores and laughed together. She was the only one back then who really knew your situation...

"Fifteen fatalities have been reported so far, but we're still keeping an eye on it." She was your immediate first thought, yet another part of yourself that you'd lost only this time, it had been your fault. "Usually when something like this happens, the numbers climb more often than they fall."

Your fingers tangled into Megumi's blanket, the smell of him swirling around you as tears streamed down your face. While he may have carried the weight of it differently than you did, he wasn't the only one who had been forced to deal with loss. It'd been a haunting and viciously persistent theme in your life too, one that you were painfully tired of having to accept.

Your head was throbbing, your eyes closing to try and block out the rest of it when a knock at the door forced you back into the room.

"It's me!" Yuuji called out, his voice just as familiar and comforting as it always had been. "Promise I'll be in and out, I just wanted to drop off some curry for you."

You swallowed hard before rubbing a hand over your face to steady yourself. You didn't need a mirror to tell you that you looked like hell, but you still stole a quick glance at yourself anyway as you made your way to the door, cringing at the distraught reflection that stared back at you.

"Sorry to drag you out of bed when you're sick but Fushiguro said that..." The way his face fell as his eyes trailed over you made your stomach drop. "What happened...?"

You shook your head, offering him the most sincere smile you could manage. "Just... a really bad migraine." You shrugged, taking the bag of food from him. "I've been trying to sleep it off, I'll be alright."

You knew he didn't believe you.

“A migraine?”

"Yeah, they come out of nowhere sometimes." You nodded, a tidal wave of guilt washing over you for so blatantly lying to him. “I should be okay by tomorrow. It's really not a big deal."

"Right..." He hesitated, doing his best to map out his words. “Well, you know that if you’re not okay tomorrow… or the day after that… you can talk to me, right?”

The only thing you could do was nod again, the lump in your throat threatening to break as you fought the overwhelming urge to grab his wrist and ask him to sit with you. To tell him how much you were going to miss him. To tell him how much he and Nobara meant to you. To tell him that even if you didn't remember them, they'd always be a part of your heart... But you couldn't, you couldn't say hardly anything between the weight of his concern and Megumi's secret.  

He waited another few seconds, his apprehension to leave you alone palpable. But when you didn't say anything else, he finally took a step back. “Just... get to feeling better, okay?"

You nodded again, your voice catching as you said, “I will."

He shot you a faint smile and you did your best to return it before he disappeared back down the hall towards the sound of Nobara's voice. "She okay?" You heard her ask as you closed the door.

Everything in your life had always been fleeting and temporary but knowing that they were too was a level of a pain that you weren't ready to face. Your hands shook as you set the bag of curry down on the nightstand and fell back into Megumi's bed, curling into yourself as a sob racked through your body without warning.

You'd experienced more grief than you could ever put into words, and still, nothing had ever hurt quite like this.

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

Megumi's footsteps were light when he returned, his movements cautious as he approached you, glancing over at the untouched food by his bed.

He ran a gentle hand along your back, trying his best to keep you comfortable despite the selfish part of him that wanted to wake you up and bury his head into your chest after a long day.

You shifted, your hand instinctively reaching out for his as your eyes started to open, your surroundings still a blur. It was later than you'd anticipated it being, the moon just barely lighting up his side of the room. 

"You should eat," he said quietly, his thumb rubbing patterns into the inside of your palm.

"I know." You winced, your stomach burning at the thought. "I just... can't right now."

A blend of understanding and worry flickered through his stare as he pressed a light kiss onto the top of your hand. It wasn't like he'd necessarily been taking the best care of himself either the last few weeks.

He kicked off his shoes, stripping down into a t-shirt and boxers before laying down with you, the warmth of your body settling over him in a way he didn't realize he needed until he had it again.

A small smile crept across your face as he nestled into you, his tired arms wrapping around your waist while your fingers threaded through his hair, your nails just barely grazing his scalp. His legs were cold against yours, the sobering smell of winter air and pine filling the space between you.

You stared up at the ceiling, focusing on the sound of his breathing as it gradually began to sync with yours. It was rare that he clung to you like this, but it never failed to make you feel safe, like the rest of the world couldn't touch you as long as he was near you. 

The thought was soft when it first entered your mind, deceptively dreamy and trancelike with the way it had flowed in so easily. It was warmth, comfort, and... panic.

Your pulse quickened as the sentence echoed through your mind again, louder this time. Three words that you couldn’t possibly let yourself hold onto. Three words that represented everything you were losing. The feeling shifted from something gentle and manageable to sharp and serrated as it started to press against your ribs, demanding space you couldn’t afford to give it. Your fingers stilled in his hair, another rush of static and tears suddenly clouding your vision.

“Hey.”

His voice was low and steady as it cut through the haze, his hand brushing against your side. He propped himself up, tentatively hovering above you while his eyes searched yours. He could feel your heart racing, the way it was practically trying to beat through your chest.

"Breathe for me, okay?" He reached for your hand, but you could barely register it, a haze of anxiety replacing reality as your surroundings began to blur together.

You grabbed the side of your head, desperately closing your eyes to try and escape it, but the static in your mind only continued to spread. The room faded in and out, the edges of his face blurring together as the panic attack swept over you with vengeance. All of the things you wanted to say but couldn't. All of the feelings that you'd tried to bury but couldn't– they were all right there, right at the forefront of the storm.

Your fingers tangled into the fabric of Megumi's shirt, his face just inches apart from yours. He was still talking, still trying to keep you steady, but it wasn't working. There was a deafening ringing in your ears. A sea of scattered thoughts and displaced emotions crashing down around you. And then–

Nothing.

The static had somehow lifted, the suffocating wave of fear dying down. Your panic gradually replaced by what felt like an impossible stillness as he continued to hold you.

"Hey," the franticness in his voice was something you'd never heard before. "Look at me. Please, just–"

Your eyes fluttered open slowly, your vision clearing as you let the hand that you had pressed to your forehead fall back down to your side. 

The relief he felt was fleeting, quickly replaced by something else entirely as you froze again, your gaze locking onto something over his shoulder. 

You thought they were shadows at first– the type of looming figures that you'd see out of the corner of your eye when you'd been up for too long. The ones that would disappear with a simple blink, but the two sets of glowing eyes staring back at you were only becoming more and more visible the longer you looked at them.

Your head tilted slightly, taking in the mix of black and white fur, the matching red markings that decorated their foreheads before the smaller one took a step towards you, its movements gentle but seemingly protective as it laid beside you at the edge of the bed.

Megumi shifted, his shoulders visibly stiffening as he watched your reaction– the way your eyes carefully drifted over the Shikigami next to you. He drew in a sharp breath, keeping his tone as even as he could despite his own fears rising, realizing what this meant.

“You can see them... can’t you?”

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

The sun had just started to creep in through the blinds, but Megumi hadn't slept at all. He laid with his eyes closed and his mind racing for the better part of the night, tracing delicate patterns along your skin any time you'd start to stir.

"It's more common than you'd think," Gojo said as they walked across the training field, the August sun beating down on both of them. "Negativity takes on all kinds of different forms, it's not always as black and white as we make it out to be."

Megumi had shoved his hands in his pockets, eyes pointed down at the track as they made their way past two first-years struggling to land a hit on each other. "But if curses only become visible when someone's on the brink of death, then why –"

"That's not the only time it happens." Gojo interjected, "There are exceptions, just like anything else. All it takes is for enough grief and despair to hit someone at just the right frequency and..." He snapped his fingers, pulling Megumi's attention towards him again. "A non-sorcerer would be able to start seeing things they shouldn't– curses, residuals, it would all become visible to them."

Megumi's pace slowed, his brows furrowing the longer he thought about it. "And you think that's what happened to him?" He finally asked, "You think he just... spiraled so hard that he stumbled into this world by accident?"

"More or less." Gojo rolled his shoulders with a sigh. "Look, Junpei was a perfect example of what can happen when all the wrongs things line up exactly at the right time. All that bullying, that isolation, losing his mom– his entire life was one long string of pain and anger. That much negativity? It doesn’t usually just sit quietly. It festers. And in his case, it built up to the point where it broke through the usual barriers."

Megumi paused, trying but failing to block out how hard Yuuji had taken his death over the last month. "And cases like him– exceptions like Junpei are... common?"

Gojo's smirk faltered, his hand resting easily on Megumi's shoulder as he bent slightly to meet his gaze. "All I'm saying is that they're not unheard of. Even the strongest people have their limits."

The memory had replayed itself so many times he could barely distinguish the present from nostalgia by the time you woke up next to him. He'd known that he was on borrowed time from the moment you'd arrived, but now... even that was gone.

His grip on you was light but firm as you started to stretch your legs, your eyes barely having the chance to open before your own thoughts began to spiral. No matter how much he tried to keep you calm, the demon dogs staring back at you were a solid reminder of where the two of you stood.

"We have to go... tonight, don't we?"

The silence that followed made your chest tighten, your hand shaking as your fingertips dug into the side of his arm. You drew in a breath before nodding in defeat, sparing him from having to be the one to say it.

You knew the second it had happened that this was what was coming, but there was still something so unexplainably damning about how it felt settling over the two of you. This was the last morning you’d wake up beside him. The last time you’d get to see him like this– soft and unguarded in ways no one else would ever know.

Your lips parted with those three words still desperately clinging to the tip of your tongue, but you managed to swallow them down, refusing to make things worse than they already were. It was the second time in only a few short minutes that you'd been the one to spare him.

His hand caught yours, your quiet acceptance hitting you both in steady but unrelenting waves as you laid together, your feelings embedded into every touch and every movement you made. It was tangible, absolutely everywhere in the space between you, and maybe… that was enough.

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

The hours went by like minutes, a heavy sense of finality and dread clinging onto even the most mundane things– from the way it felt to help Megumi with the buttons on his uniform while the two of you got ready together to the car ride where you'd had to take him, Yuuji, and Nobara back to the same church that they'd failed their previous mission at. It was all painfully familiar and foreign at once.

You were digging mental graves for friends that were still very much alive. Glancing over at Yuuji with a small smile as he leaned up to the front of the car to make sure you were actually feeling better. Knowing that this was your last day with him and having to push down the grief of not being able to give him or Nobara a proper goodbye. Kissing Megumi– really kissing him before you left and trying not to break down at the way his eyes lingered on you as you drove off. Every interaction you had was somehow more futile than the last and yet, you had no choice but to endure it.

By the time you reached Ijichi, you were more than ready to take a seat and tune out the rest of the world with one of his infamously dry lectures, but even his monotone voice and horrible puns were finding ways to tug at your heartstrings. Your mind wandered back to your first week with him– how welcome he'd made you feel without even meaning to. His classroom had always felt like more of a reprieve than a punishment, a quiet comfort amongst the chaos.

You shook your head, fighting past the tears that were threatening to spill over as you busied yourself with one of the ratio equations he had on the whiteboard when you felt your phone buzz in your pocket. You swallowed hard, watching his name flash across screen before getting up and promptly making your way out into the hall.

He'd never called on you while on a mission.

"Hey," you exhaled, "is everything–"

"We found a special grade curse." He said breathlessly, "Nobara– she's alright, but I need you to come get her and take her back to Shoko."

The phone nearly slipped from your hand, the loud, piercing background noise coupled with Yuuji's panicked, 'Fushiguro!' made your heart feel like it was going to stop altogether.

You looked back at Ijichi from over your shoulder as Megumi continued talking, giving you instructions on what to do when you got there, but your focus was suddenly everywhere else.

"Gojo..." You hesitated, "Do you want me to bring him? Just in case–"

"No," his voice was sharp, leaving little room for protest. "No, Itadori and I can handle it, I just need you to come get her, okay?"

You hated the knot that had formed in your stomach, the nervousness that danced through your veins as you reluctantly agreed, telling him you'd be there as soon as you could.

When working as an assistant, sorcerers are always to take top priority regardless of the situation, it was one of the first lessons he'd gone over with you, though neither one of you had any way of knowing at the time that you'd one day be using it against him...

You zipped up your coat, shaking away the thought as you headed down the faculty stairs and dug your set of keys out of your pocket. You didn't have time for remorse– not now, and not when the lies you’d told would be forgotten by the end of the night anyway.

The cold air nipped at your face, snow still blowing haphazardly across the parking lot as you climbed into the driver's seat, overwhelmed and completely unaware of the set of eyes that had been following you since you'd left Ijichi's classroom.

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

The drive there was a blur, your mind flooding with nothing but worse-case scenarios and scattered images of Nobara laughing and holding your hand as the two of you walked down the hallway together.

Knowing that she was hurt... knowing that she needed a healer while also not knowing the extent of her injuries amidst the stress of everything else you were already facing had your foot heavy on the gas pedal, your car slightly shaking from the gravel road you were on.

The city lights had vanished a few miles back, the grey overcast not helping your case as you struggled to make out buildings in the late January haze of snow and poorly marked country roads. You weren't sure if it was relief or more dread that swirled through your stomach when your GPS started to chime, but it was too late to let yourself indulge in either.

Your throat tightened when you finally spotted it– an old worn-down cathedral in the middle of a seemingly empty field, surrounded by fresh debris and rubble that only made your anxiety swell. It was the first time you'd ever been to actual pick-up spot. The first time you'd been exposed to the things that Megumi had tried so hard to keep you sheltered from.

You peered through the icy windshield, searching but failing to find any sign of her. "She'll be out front waiting for you when you get here so just stay in the car." He'd said, "She'll come to you, okay?" Even after you'd agreed though, he still repeated it back with an unnerving amount of conviction laced into his words. "Promise me– you won't get out of the car."

Your hands trembled as you pulled out your phone and began dialing his number, squeezing your eyes shut to try and block out just how wrong all of this felt. Each unanswered ring seemed to drag by slower than the last, your pulse thrumming through your ears by the time his voicemail echoed through the receiver.

You'd done everything that he'd asked and so much more. You'd kept his secrets. You'd protected him. You'd lied for him. You'd cared for him in more ways than you could ever bring yourself to say aloud. But this was one promise you were quickly realizing you wouldn't be able to keep as you watched a familiar thick, black smog seep out through the cracks in the boarded-up windows of the church. Another powerful thud reverberating with such intensity that it shook the ground beneath you.

"I'm sorry." You whispered, though you weren't sure if you were saying it to him or yourself as you reached for the door handle.

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

Your breathing came to a halt the moment that your feet hit the ground. The air was impossibly dense, contaminated with a thick layer of smoke that seemed to tangle around your limbs the closer you got to the entrance.

You could practically hear Megumi's voice screaming at you to turn around, but you forced yourself to push past it as you approached the edge of the broken stone staircase, redirecting your focus on where and where not to step.

The entryway was completely shattered, the heavy wooden doors splintered and hanging off of their hinges. You held your breath as you squeezed your way through a small opening, doing everything you could to keep yourself steady despite the trail of fog that seemed to follow you.

Your pace was meticulous, each movement calculated while you navigated your way through the wreckage. It wasn't until you saw the faint waves of light flashing through the darkness that you froze. Your eyes snapped towards the back of the church, watching in quiet horror as the unmistakable hum of cursed energy exploded across the room in bursts.

You were stuck somewhere between fight or flight– your legs carrying you with agility you didn't even know you had as you broke into a sprint. You ducked, taking cover behind one of the destroyed pillars, just narrowly dodging a support beam that came crashing down when a hand suddenly reached out for you.

"'The hell were you thinking–" she coughed, her voice still maintaining its usual firmness despite how feeble it was. "You know you shouldn't be here."

"Nobara," you breathed, your hand cupped her face to wipe away the red rolling down her cheek. Her body was lax, slumped against the remains of a wooden pew with blood dripping from her hairline down to her chin.

Your insides felt like they were on fire, adrenaline flooding your system quicker than you could keep up with as you scanned the area for the most manageable way out before looking back at her. "I'm not leaving you here." You promised, your body acting faster than your brain as you reached for her arm and slung it over your shoulder.

"Are you insane? You can't just–"

"You'd do it for me, wouldn't you?" The question was sharp enough to slice through the tension, time seeming to stop even if only for a second when her eyes met yours.

"Of course I would." She conceded, slowly lifting herself up as she leaned on you for support. "Megumi's gonna... kill you though."

It was one of the first time you'd really smiled in the last three days. "I think I'll be alright."

The calm was momentary though, another amethyst-colored beam tearing through the air. "Hold onto me." You said, tightening your grip around her waist.

Shattered stone cascaded around the two of you, your breath catching in your throat as the cursed energy spiked again, sharper and heavier than before. It almost felt alive with way it twisted around your legs– that same fear, that same dread from the night Megumi had saved you creeping over you once more. The burning sensation seeped into your pores the higher up it climbed, rooting itself into your chest.

Your movements were strained, each step forward nearly knocking the wind out of you as you shielded Nobara from more falling debris, both of you crouching behind an abandoned altar.

The entrance was just within your reach if you could manage to keep yourself upright and steady, the light from the outside barely grazing the edge of the corridor. Right as you shifted your weight to stand though– a low, guttural growl reverberated across the floor sending another wave what felt like rogue electricity beneath your skin.

"Fuck," you hissed, your vision becoming blurry as you fought to keep your focus.

"Leave me here," Nobara insisted, trying but failing to shake you off of her. "Look, Yuuji's right over there, he can grab me when he–"

But her demands came to an abrupt end as the two of you became frozen in place, the curse emerging from the shadows to reveal a series of vine-like limbs and skin that resembled ancient bark. The size of it alone was enough to make your heart forget how to beat, but the second its eyes landed on you, the earth seemed to still entirely.

"What the–" Megumi's voice broke through the chaos, the weight of his stare crippling when he spotted you from across the room, his frustration and concern palpable even from where he was standing.

"Go!" He shouted, another Shikigami already forming in front of him.

The figure tilted its head as if it were studying you, the pressure of its gaze pinning you to the floor. It wasn’t just fear this time– it was something deeper, almost primal that wrapped around your spine and pulled tight as the taunting hum of its cursed energy crackled into the space between you. Its floral patterns glowing faintly in the dim light with its vines curling and writhing carefully towards you.

“Why do you fight so hard to protect something so fleeting?”

“Kugisaki!” Megumi stiffened, his hands stretched out in front of him like weapon as Nuu lunged toward the curse, but he wasn't even able make it halfway to you before a branch-like limb sprawled out and slammed the demon dog into the ground with a force that shook the foundation of the already crumbling building.

Your head felt like it was going to explode, your thoughts and emotions bleeding into each other all at once as its question repeated on an unwanted loop.

Fleeting.

“Listen to me!” Nobara’s voice suddenly felt distant, blurred by an odd sense of clarity that had started to wash over you. “Leave me here. You have to go!”

It was right– your life had been made up of nothing more than fleeting contentment and memories that weren't made to last. The things that you were trying so hard to fight for would be gone by tomorrow, just like everything else, but they were here now and so were you. If this had to be your last day with them– if losing Megumi, Yuuji, and Nobara was truly inevitable no matter what choice you made, then you'd do everything you could to protect them.

“No,” you said, the word falling from your lips before you even realized it. “I told you I’m not leaving you.”

The curse moved again, swift but intentional, closing the distance between you while its vines began to thrash, leaving more broken concrete beneath its force. Megumi yelled your name, his expression dropping as he watched the somber smile that cut across your face when your eyes met his.

"Don't!" He warned, his hands cast backout in front of him, but your mind was already made up.

You secured your grip on Nobara, forcing her to lean more heavily on you while you dragged her a few steps closer to the fragmented remains of the entrance. You were so close– just a few more feet and you could hand her off to Yuuji, who was locked in a struggle of his own ahead of you.

But close wasn’t enough.

The energy in the room surged again, its presence suddenly suffocating and absolutely everywhere as thick, sharp tendrils snared around your legs. Your body felt like it had caught fire, the white-hot heat of its touch making your vision flicker in and out as it started to pull you backward, Nobara's weight shifting dangerously against you.

Your jaw clenched, your ears ringing as you fought to garner up every ounce of strength you had left to push forward. You were desperate, every step seeming to tear something essential out of you, but still, you moved.

Another blinding wave of pain hit you– the curse’s vines snapping again, just barely missing your head as they shattered another fixture above you. It was a storm of debris and splintered wood, making it hard to tell where its limbs began and the church's destruction ended.

“Yuuji!” you screamed, your voice raw as your stare caught his. “Take her!"

He was stunned, too worn-down and short on time to argue with you.

Your adrenaline was exhausted, every part of your body ready and willing to collapse, but with one final push, you managed to shove Nobara toward the faint light spilling out through the ruined entryway.

She staggered, her legs barely holding her as Yuuji lunged forward, catching her in his arms right before she fell. It was the first time you had allowed yourself to really breathe since you'd found her, a warm sense of relief cutting through the pain.

But it didn't take long for it to vanish, the crushing reality of the curse now looming over you suddenly outweighing any amount of comfort you'd once had.

Its grip coiled tighter around your legs, your body going limp as it dragged you back once more. There was static in your veins, an overwhelming pressure pushing down on your ribs, the taste of copper filling your mouth.

This was it.

The background commotion slowly tapered down, your senses gradually disconnecting from your body as the chappel started to drift further and further away. A surreal sense of acceptance wrapped around you like a warm hug. No more fighting, no more flailing– it was just you and the comfortable abyss that you were sinking into. Just you and the memories that you were able to keep until the very end. If you had to die in one way or another tonight, at least you were able to do it knowing that you had spared him one last time.

There was a distorted fluttering feeling in your chest. A dizziness in your brain. A hazy montage of impossibly blue eyes and all the things you should've said.

And then,

it all,

faded,

to black...

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

Megumi's head was throbbing when his eyes finally opened again, his stomach still in knots as he blinked back tears, trying to piece together where he’d ended up. He was sprawled out on a familiar grey leather couch with a knit blanket carefully tucked over him. The rigid winter air only amplifying his headache as it knocked against the window of his office.

“'Bout time you woke up."

His mind was overrun with the fractured pieces of what had happened, sensations and memories coming back in painful waves: The leveled church. The sound of glass shattering as he channeled his domain expansion. The feeling of your body pressed against his before everything vanished…

“Where’s..." The panic he felt was all-consuming, time coming to a grinding halt when he realized that he was the only one recovering. “Where is she...?"

Gojo's smirk was nowhere to be found, his stare softening a bit as he took a step towards him. "I talked to Shoko,"

"– And?" Megumi demanded.

"She told me about your sudden interest in Kokoro Kiri," his tone was light despite how pointed his words were, "Usually used for memory manipulation and soul severing, right? Causes the victim to forget specific people and events?"

"You know that's not what I meant–" Megumi snapped, "Is she...?" His face was flushed, his nerves completely shot as he struggled to swallow down the rest of his question. "Look, I don't care what happens to me after this, I'll take whatever punishment the higher-ups decide on, but I need to know what happened to her. Please, just..."

Gojo's demeanor was eerily calm, his hand resting easily on Megumi's shoulder as he bent down to become eye-level with him.

"If I had to guess," he paused, "She's probably still asleep."

Megumi's lips parted but the only thing that came out was a jagged exhale, his breathing coming out in short, choppy intervals. "So she's..." His head was spinning, relief and fear both clinging onto him at once. "She's okay, then? I mean, she's not...?"

"She's got some pretty deep cuts on her legs– probably gonna end up with a scar or two once she's fully healed, but other than that," A faint smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he watched the life slowly return back to Megumi's eyes. "She's alright."

The tone of the room shifted into something more manageable despite the multitude of other unanswered questions that still sat between them. Megumi's hands shook slightly as he ran them over his face, images of the ruins he'd left behind coming back in flashes.

"You took down a special grade curse by yourself before I got there," Gojo said, almost sounding proud as he took a seat next to him. "I still had to clean up the aftermath of course, but..."

His stare lingered on him for a moment, the amusement in his tone fading, "She must be pretty important to you, huh? Making you tap into your full potential like that?"

Megumi hesitated, his gaze drifting to the floor as he nodded, remembering a brief conversation they'd had last year during a training session. "Yeah," he admitted quietly, "she is."

"You could've asked me for help, you know." Gojo shifted in his seat, letting out his own sigh while he rested his chin in his hands. "You should've asked me for help. You've gotta quit thinking that you can handle everything by yourself."

Megumi's jaw tightened, his words hanging heavily between them.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Gojo pressed, tilting his head at him as their eyes met again. "About the details of your contract? About the healer you've been seeing? Do you have any idea how bad that could've ended for you? For both of you, if you would've gone through with it?"

"I thought you already knew," Megumi bit back, exasperated by the fact that he was even asking in the first place. "You were there the night that I brought her back– you met me in Yaga's office after the negotiation was finalized."

Gojo looked back at him incredulously, "You honestly thought that I'd let you take on that kind of burden? From the higher-ups no less?"

His head was pounding, his thoughts clouded by an unnerving mix of exhaustion and guilt. "Yaga's never done anything in regard to me without running it by you first, even some of my missions get sent to you for approval, so why the hell would this have been any different?"

"Because you're an adult now." Gojo said simply, the gravity of his sentiment strong enough to break down Megumi's defense. "I didn't ask Yaga anything about your contract because I wanted it to be something that you handled on your own. I just figured you'd be smart enough to let me know if something went wrong."

The walls of his office felt like they were closing in on him as all of the resentment and pain that he'd been grappling with for the last five months suddenly came circling back to the true source of their existence– him. It was never you or Gojo or anyone else that had complicated his life this much, it was his own stubbornness. His refusal to accept help and admit defeat.

"I..." He faltered, his brows furrowing as he fought to keep his emotions at bay. "I'm sorry. You're right, I should've told you. I should've known when it was too much to take on alone..."

Gojo's expression softened slightly, his shoulder gently nudging his.

"Hey," He soothed, knowing better than anyone that getting an apology from Megumi– a sincere one, at that, meant something. "Growing pains are a part of life– this isn't your first and it won't be your last, but it's what makes us human. Sometimes lessons have to be hard to be remembered." 

Megumi was quiet as he took in his words, letting the familiar sense of solace have its moment.   

"Don't beat yourself up over it too much though, alright?" Gojo mused as he leaned back, lazily stretching his hands behind his head. "Your face is rough enough as is and I hear there's a cute girl waiting for you down in Shoko's office."

A small smile crept across Megumi's face as he nodded before getting to his feet.

"Oh and– and Megumi? One last thing."

He paused, his hand resting on the door handle as he looked back at him from over his shoulder. "Yeah?"

"We can go over the details later when you're not so," he gestured vaguely towards his tattered appearance, "Half-dead," he said flippantly, "But she's staying just so you know. No strings attached other than her maintaining her cover story while she's here, but aside from that, the contract is null and void– for both of you."

He froze, his pupils doubling in size as he stared back at him in disbelief. "How did you...?"

"10 million yen and a few offhanded threats tend to go a long way in the sorcerer world." He shrugged. "That, and the fact that we'll have her as an assistant once she graduates. Continuing to room with her is optional, but–" His smirk returned with playful ease. "I figured you wouldn't be in a hurry to kick her out just yet."

There was a part of him that was afraid if he blinked for too long, he'd wake up slumped against a rutted pillar with nothing but debris and ash surrounding him again. His throat tightened, trying his best to ground himself as he hesitated at the doorway.

"Thank you, Gojo." He finally managed. "For everything."

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

The next few days were a blur of pain medication, sleep, and holding Megumi's hand as he dozed off in the armchair next to you. He would end up in what looked like the most uncomfortable pretzel-like positions, but he still refused to leave your side no matter how many times you tried to tell him that it was okay if he wanted to go back to the dorm instead.

Aside from the occasional injured first-year that would wander in every so often, the medical ward was strangely peaceful. Your mornings were spent listening to Shoko explain various healing techniques while redressing the bandages on your legs. Checking to make sure that your body was responding to treatment the way it was supposed to while Megumi watched intently, taking mental notes for himself just in case he'd need them later.

Your afternoons were filled with visitors after word got out about how you'd sacrificed yourself to save Nobara against –what you'd later learned from Gojo– was a curse named Hanami. She was still recovering too, but her healing process had been a lot more sped-up than yours with her body being more acclimated to the effects of cursed energy. Yuuji brought you fresh flowers every day– big, well-thought arrangements with all of your favorite colors. "You'll tell her that these are from me, right?" He'd tease Megumi. "Don't want you takin' credit for my hard work."

While you knew that Gojo had managed to revoke the terms of your contract, the weight of it still hadn't fully left you. There were nights that you'd wake up in cold sweats, tears streaming down your face as you'd find yourself frantically reaching out for Megumi's hand. "I'm here," he'd whisper, "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere."

It wasn't until you'd been released and the two of you were finally back in your room that things actually started to feel somewhat solidified. There wasn't the same looming sense of dread that used to follow you. There wasn't the constant weight of abandonment clawing at your chest.

There was just him and the way his hands felt grazing your jawline as he kissed you. The way that he tried so hard to be so delicate with you despite the pent-up fire behind his stare every time he touched you.

"Megumi," you breathed, pulling him closer as the morning sun began to seep in from the window. "I'm not made of glass." You reminded him, your fingers tangling into his hair.

HIs hands were still lingering on your waist, a faint smile pulling at the corner of his mouth as he looked back at you through heavy lashes. "You'll tell me if it's too much?"

There was something about the care in his eyes, the way he always put you first, even when his own restraint was clearly hanging on by a thread. You cupped his face, your thumb brushing against his cheek as you nodded. "Promise."

His grip on you tightened, the palm of his hand warm against the side of your neck before his tongue parted your lips again.

You could feel the shift of him starting to let go, the way his hand roamed from your neck to your lower back with his movements becoming more and more fervent. Breathy little noises filling the space between you while he helped you out of your shorts and tossed them to the side of his bed.

His forehead pressed against yours, his eyes tentatively trailing over you as he lined himself up with your entrance. It was the very last wall he had left, one that he never thought he'd be able to fully tear down until now.

He couldn't stop the low moan that escaped him as he slid into you, watching how your pupils dilated as you looked back at him with trust that he still wasn't sure he deserved. The words were right there, right where they'd always been, steady and terrifyingly honest.

He drew in a breath, letting himself sink into you, noting the way your body held him tighter the further he went. It had always been you. His hand shook slightly, using his thumb to tilt your head up towards his while his hips met yours with the same deep, consuming pace. It would always be you.

His lips parted, his mind slipping as he finally let go completely and buried everything he had in you,

"I love you."

It was soft but impossibly sure as it brushed across your skin, leaving a trail of warmth you didn't even know existed in its wake. There was suddenly no such thing as holding back– not the tears that were pricking at the corners of your eyes or the feelings that you'd tried so hard to control for the last six months. He was everywhere, embedded into every single part of you.

It settled over your chest, opening up like a floodgate once it began– "I love you." you breathed, your nails digging into his neck."I love you." you whimpered again as your back arched beneath him. "I love you." he panted, his hands firm against your hips as your walls began to unravel around him. "I love you." you cried, letting yourself fall apart for him entirely.

"I love you, I love you, I love you..."

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

[winchesterwild78]

Happy New Year 

Master List

Characters: Jensen Ackles x Reader, mentions of Danneel, reader’s husband, and other people. 

Warnings: SMUT!, cheating (I don’t condone it-this is FICTION), praise kink, breeding kink

A/N: I’m currently on medication for a Sinus Infection, Bronchitis and Walking Pneumonia. The steroids really screw with my brain. This little nugget of a story came to me last night. 

I don’t condone cheating, this is fiction. Please don’t come at me. 

This story has SMUT and not much of a story line if it’s not your thing please don’t read it. 

Jensen and Reader are co-workers and end up at the same New Year’s Eve party. Jensen and the reader find themselves alone and things unfold very quickly. 

Written fast and not edited well. Please overlook any errors. 

All work is my own, please don’t take it in any way. Reblogs and comments are always appreciated. 

Minors DNI 18+

“Honey, we’re going to be late.” I called from downstairs to my husband. “I’m coming. I couldn’t find my wallet.” 

“Wow, look at you. I love the dress. Is it new?” I blushed a little. How was I supposed to tell him it was a gift from Jensen? “Yeah. Just got it. Figured I’d wear it tonight.” 

“Well it’s very nice.” His tone changed a little. “Are you okay?” I asked, trying to search his face. 

“Yeah, I’m just not used to seeing you wear something like that and it’s a bit revealing.” 

“Oh, yeah I get it. I can change.” “No, it’s fine. Just take a shawl or something. I know how you get when you drink and I don’t want everyone there seeing your body.” 

I felt a little angry and insecure when he said that. Of course he always had something to say about anything I wore or ate or how I had my hair done. 

I grabbed my shawl and purse. “Ready?” “Yeah I guess so.” I stopped at the door, “If you don’t want to go then don’t. I’m not making you go.” 

“I know but these are your new coworkers and I want to meet them. Especially Erin. She’s a babe.” 

I rolled my eyes. I had been newly hired by Eric to write for the show and I’d met the cast and crew. My husband was completely smitten by Erin. She’s so sweet, and didn’t want him. 

We arrived at the party about an hour after it started. The house was huge and filled with so much energy. Eric greeted us at the door and took my stuff. My husband was less than thrilled when I handed my shawl over. 

He scanned the crowd and found Erin. “Come on, let’s go say hi.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards her. 

She was talking to someone when we walked up, but when she saw me she squealed, “Y/N! You made it. I’m so happy you’re here. Oh and you brought a date.” She smiled and looked at my husband. “Honey, this is Erin. Erin, this is my husband.” She extended her hand, “It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you.” She shook his hand and the bastard kissed the back of her hand, “Nice to meet you too. I’ve heard so much about you. God you’re gorgeous.” 

They started chatting and I excused myself to grab a drink. 

I walked up to the bar, ordered my drink and felt my phone buzz. I pulled it out and saw a text. 

Jensen: That dress looks fucking hot on you. 

I blushed, bit my lip and looked around. There he was, standing off to the side, whiskey in hand and looking incredible. 

Me: I guess you’ve got good taste. 😉

Jensen: Yeah I do. I see your husband is here chatting up all the ladies. 

Me: Yeah. Is D here?

Jensen: Yeah somewhere. No doubt she’s trying to weasel her way into the show. 

I laughed out loud. 

Me: So should I offer to write a part for her or not? 

Jensen: Please don’t. If you do that we can’t have our afternoon writing sessions in my trailer. You wouldn’t want to mess up those, would you? 

My cheeks burned red hot thinking about all those “writing sessions” we had. 

Me: Oh god no. Those are my favorite part of the day. 

Jensen: Me too. 1st floor bathroom in 5 minutes. I need to see that dress up close. 

Me: I can’t wait. 

I could feel the arousal and anticipation building. I saw my husband making his way around the party. No doubt flirting his ass off and trying to get laid by a celebrity. 

I went back up to him and told him I was going to the restroom. He waved me off. He was currently talking to one of the extras from the Herogasm episode. 

I walked down the dark hallway and found the first bathroom. The door was closed so I knocked our knock. The door opened and Jensen pulled me in. 

His lips crashed on mine as he pushed me on the door. One hand pinned mine above my head while the other explored my body. 

He pulled back panting. “God you’re so fucking beautiful and this dress, holy hell you’re hot.” 

Jensen’s lips trailed down my body and I shivered. His hands grabbed the hem of my dress and pulled up above my hips. Exposing my soaked panties to the chilly air. His fingers slipped between my legs and found the dampened fabric. He smirked. 

“Damn baby you’re already ready for me.” His fingers moved the fabric to the side and he found my soaked entrance. Pushing two fingers in, I gasped. 

“Mmm there you go baby. You like that don’t you? Taking all I have to offer like the good girl you are.” 

I got wetter. Something about Jensen praising me just turned me on more. 

“I’m gonna fuck a baby into this pussy. Let everyone know who you belong to. You’d like that wouldn’t you?” His fingers pumped faster as his thumb found my clit. “First you’ve got to cum for me. Cum on baby. Let go. Let me feel you come undone on my fingers.” 

He pushed further in and hooked up. Hitting that soft spot deep in my core. My hands were holding on to his shoulders as his hot breath drifted over my body. 

“Jens, I’m close. Oh fuck baby! Right there.” “Cum for me baby. I want to feel you.” My body responded to his command and I came hard. Moaning loudly, his lips covered mine. “Shh, you have to keep it down baby.” 

He kept rubbing and my body was so overstimulated. 

“Come on baby, I know you have one more in there. I need to make sure my girl is satisfied. 

My heart fluttered in my chest, “my girl” oh how I wished it was true. I’d give anything to be his girl, and not just his mistress. 

I was close again, and he felt it. He stopped and a whine escaped my lips, “it’s okay baby. I’ve got you.” I heard his zipper and his belt. My hand found his hard member and I pumped him a few times. I dropped down and took him in my mouth. Sucking and licking his cock like it was the only thing keeping me alive. 

His hands fisted my hair, and he pushed my face down his cock. The sounds in the bathroom were pornographic and full of want and need. We knew what we were doing was wrong, but anytime we were together, nothing, nobody else mattered. It was just us, raw, and unfiltered. 

He pulled me off of him and turned me around. He gently laid my stomach on the counter, facing the sink. 

“You ready baby?” I nodded. He sunk his hard cock into my soaked pussy with one hard thrust he bottomed out. We both gasped and he gripped my hips. “Fuck baby, you’re so tight. I fit perfectly inside you. We were made for each other.” 

My mind drifted to the fantasy I kept hidden deep inside. The one where I was his and he was mine, completely and out in the public eye. I had fallen in love with him, but kept it to myself. 

Anytime I was in his arms I felt like I was the only thing that mattered to him. Even if it wasn’t true. 

He lifted my head up to meet his gaze in the mirror. “There she is. My beautiful girl. God I could get used to this. I want to fuck a baby into you. Mark you forever as mine.” I bit my lip and stared into his darkened green eyes. “Do it, Jensen. Make me yours. Fuck a baby into me.” 

He smirked and his hips snapped harder into me. He pulled out, spun me around and lifted me onto the counter. 

His lips crashed on mine and his hand slipped between us, finding my engorged, sensitive clit. He began to rub, “Cum for me again, baby. Cum on my cock.” Just as I was about to cum there was a knock on the door. We froze.

“Um just a minute.” I was able to squeak out. “Y/N?” I froze and looked at Jensen. It was Danneel. “Yeah, hey D.” “You haven't seen Jensen have you?” 

He looked at me and smirked, I bit my lip. Then the bastard started kissing down my neck and rubbing my clit again. “Um, no. I haven’t. Not since earlier.” My voice was shaky and Jensen smirked the whole time. Bastard.

“You okay, Y/N? You sound off.” “Yeah, D. I’m just feeling a bit hot and flustered. Must be the alcohol.” “I get it, well, see you later. Bye.” 

When we heard her walk away I slapped Jensen’s chest. He laughed, “You’re a good actress too.” “Jensen, you’re terrible.” “Yeah, but you love me.” 

My eyes flicked up to his. I didn’t know what to say. My heart hammered in my chest and before I could stop myself I said the first thing that came to mind, “Yeah I do. More than you know.” 

His eyes softened and he kissed me softly. His thrusts became softer, and his hands more gentle. Something in him flipped when I said what I did. My mind is running all the scenarios all at once. Did I just screw this up? Is this the last time in his arms, is that why he’s going slow? What is this going to do to our professional relationship?

I felt the familiar tightness in my core, and I knew he felt it too. Jensen kissed my lips and whispered in my ear, “Cum for me baby. Let me feel your walls tighten around my cock.” He kissed me as I came. Moaning in my mouth. 

I could feel he was close. His pace picked up and as he came he locked eyes with me and his lips crashed on mine again. I could feel his seed coating my walls. 

We had always been so careful, but at that moment neither of us cared. As he softened he pulled out and grabbed some tissue to clean us both up. 

We didn’t speak. Just catching our breaths as we got dressed again. 

My heart ached. I felt like this was it. I screwed it up when I professed my love for him. Before turning to leave I looked at him. His green eyes are lighter and full of so much desire and questions.

“Jensen. I’m sorry. I just got swept up in the moment. I didn’t mean to make things complicated.” 

Jensen’s hands softly lifted my face and he cupped my cheeks, “You didn’t make anything complicated, but did you mean it?” My eyes looked deep in his and I swallowed hard. I bit my bottom lip and I took a deep breath. “Yes. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall in love with you, it just happened.” 

His lips landed on mine, shutting me up. When he pulled away, his lips still ghosting mine, “Good, because I love you too.” 

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@lunaleah

[mossygirl333]

Could I please get a marbel cake, incufsed chocolate cake and a blueberry cheesecake with a martini, a screwdriver,a cappuccino and daiquiri for John Price.

(I'm sorry if I ordered too much if you want you can take some stuff off the list I don't mind and if you do could you please keep the mafia au)

(Also another thing, in the mafia au it could be like reader has a deadbeat husband and he has not payed back John and bc of that John takes us as his form of payment instead of cash. Yk it's just a thought no need to put it in the story🤭)

AN: OMGGG THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEAAA!! don't worry, ur order is amazing (also dividers by @/saradika-graphics!)

mafia boss!Price x f!reader

Bakery Order: Marble cake- “Pose for the camera.” + Infused Chocolate Cake- "C'mon, take a few more hits. Getting high huh?" + Blueberry Cheesecake- “this night ends with you pregnant.” + Screwdriver - spanking + Cappuccino - overstimulation + Martini - Mafia AU

Tw/Cw: DUBCON, mentions of abuse, mentions of neglect, mentions of finance issues, cuckoldry (they make him watch the security footage of price fucking you 🫶), kidnapping, drugs (weed), breeding kink, spanking, edging, mafia au

Wine filling a glass and your raged breathing was the only noises in the kitchen. Shaky thin fingers bringing the cup to your lips, cheeks raw and flushed from crying.

Your warm breath hit the glass, fogging it up as the alcohol slipped into your mouth, running down your throat smoothly. But it wasn't enough. You just needed to forget him, forget the bruises that still ached against your skin. Bloomed and throbbing.

Why did he do it? Dinner wasn't ready. As stupidly cliche as it sounded (it made you laugh). You had a headache, took a nap and lost track of time. His heavy hands hurt, but not as much as his words. The sound of the door slamming behind him when he left still rang in your head.

A sob escaped your mouth, tears threatening to spill over against. You suddenly shut up when you heard the door open and close with forced gentleness. Tenseness pulled at your muscles, wiping your face and turning. "Babe-"

It was not your husband Gage who stood in the doorway.

A tall man stood, in a simple suit. His beard trimmed neatly, so was his hair. A few grays mixed in with the brunette. There was nothing extraordinary about his looks but his aura. He demanded power with how he held himself, demanding respect. Nearly made you do some military salut.

Another man was behind him, just an inch or two taller. His mohawk was messy, giving him the allusion of more height. He didn't wear a suit coat like the first man, but his appearance was still tidy.

"...Who...who are you?" You weakly whisper, fingers itching to grab a knife. Well you would've, If you didn't notice the guns on their hips.

"Where the hell is Gage?" The first bearded man asks, his British accent thick and rough.

"Out...of the house." You tremble. Were these fucking loan sharks? God what were they gonna do with you?

"Didn' know that fat shite had a Bonnie lass at home..." The second man murmurs, raising a brow at you. Eyes roving over your form. A shiver running up your spine with discomfort.

"Soap." The first man warns, his thin eyes sliding to "Soap" with a glare. His hands politely folded in front of his body. "Mrs, I'm John Price. This is Johnny Mactavish. We're here for your husband. He has..." He trails off, thinking for the right words. "debts. He has yet to pay back." He shoots a smile.

"I don't...I don't have money." You swallow thickly, panic gripping at your spine. Curling around your entire body, heavy and pressurized. Your heart slamming against your ribcage, trying to escape your chest.

"Pity." Soap mumbles, taking a few steps forward. "I guess we'll have to take what we see. Till he gets-" He pauses, eyes trailing over the bruise on your collarbone. Your hands scrambling to grab the fabric of your shirt to cover it up.

He shoots Price a look and Price approaches you, his knuckles dragging across your cheek, watching you tremble like a little Doe. He cups your cheek, pulling you from the counter. Leaving your wine glass unattended.

"We can't let him come back to you. You'll have to understand." He smiles, hiding the rage inside from your apparent abuse.

You weakly nod, feeling his hand drop to the small of your back. Guiding you along out of the house. Tensed up, jaw grinding up as you step into his car.

"We wont hurt you. And he wont hurt you anymore dove."

You sat quietly in his room, trembling with a glass of water. Price sat beside you, the first two buttons on his shirt were undone. He seemed so relaxed for a man who just kidnapped you.

You had been taken to one of those drawing rooms. The lights are almost orange and yellow in hue, causing long shadows to be casted across the tile floor. A bar was set in the back, where an unattended glass of whiskey sat. Bottles of alcohol that probably costed more than your shitty car payment sat on the glass liquor case.

You felt...almost poor in a room like this. Underdressed for sure, in an oversized shirt and your sleep shorts. It felt like the kinda room you dress up for, not like you owned any dressed, you pawned them off to pay your lovers debts off.

Lover. The word left a sick taste in your mouth. You drowned it out with a mouthful of ice water.

The bulge of his gun was something you couldn't stop looking at. In just a simple movement, he could end your life. And that thought was stuck in your head, making you be eerily still. Like a bunny that just sensed someone approaching.

He gets a text, looking down at his phone and soon turning to you. "Why were you with him?" His voice was gruff from years of smoking but that didn't mean his words weren't tender. Gentle. "A pretty little bird like you? With him? Why?"

You tense a little, fidgeting with your hands. "I guess I just-" Pause. "-thought it was the best I was gonna get." The words left your mouth in an ashamed tone. You felt like you should be honest with him, as stupid as that feeling was. It was best just to be honest than get punished for lying.

He snorts, a cynical bitter laugh leaving his lips. "You are a very sad story huh? You deserve, uh..." He trails off, eyes roaming over your form before meeting your eyes again. "A lot more confidence that's for sure." He leans forward, resting his hands on his knees. "You're tense. Ya gotta loosen up birdie."

You lean away from him for a second before settling down, still curled up in one of the plush seats. He stood up, walking over to the other side of the bar and pulling out something you couldn't see.

"Have you ever smoked babydoll?" Babydoll. It felt weird coming from a man, Gage definitely never called you that before. A warmth bloomed up in your chest, why didn't you ever notice how big his biceps were before? His hairy chest peaking out from the white clean fabric of his shirt. Those soft eyes that stared into your soul, you almost audibly moaned. "Babydoll?"

You snapped out of it. "Depends on what you mean by smoking." You quickly mumble. Rubbing your shoulder.

"Weed." He flashes a freshly rolled blunt.

"In college yeah." You shift. You were going to be high, in front of him? Completely at his mercy. For some reason, that didn't feel so bad.

He lights the blunt, sliding up on the cool leather couch. Patting his thigh. "Sit. Here." You freeze for a moment. And he raises a brow, smirking. "Did I stutter? Sit in my lap."

You shyly move closer, finding a comfortable spot on his massive muscular leg, He suddenly pulls you in, your cheek smooshed up against his pec as he places the blunt in your mouth. Watching your pretty lips wrap around it. "Take a hit.."

You breathe in, letting the smoke curl and sit heavy in your lungs before letting it out. You take a few more hits, the woozy light-headed feeling starts to show up. Mind blurry as you mindlessly breathe in the smoke.

He smiles down at you, watching as your eyes widen at the feeling of him kneading your ass. "I didn't tell you to stop smokin' birdie..." You quickly go back to puffing as he situated you, throwing you around like some toy. he makes you straddle him, blunt still in your mouth as you slowly grow more and more hazy.

"Feelin high huh baby?" "mhm..."

He shifts your hips across the bulge in his pants, and it isn't his gun. You press your forehead against his, breathing the smoke against his lips. Pussy growing slick at the feeling of him groping at you.

"Getting wet huh? Dirty girl..." "cant help it.." You whine, shoving your nose into his neck and breathing in the cool night air and heady whiskey like cologne that clung to his skin. Masculine was the only way to describe his beautiful sculpted body.

He shifted against the tight ropes of his restraints, Simon's breath hitting his neck as he positioned the laptop. A simple sleek thing, laid to rest on a table. Suddenly it opened and shined, blinding him slightly.

They were in a dim room, he could barely see anything other than the screen. It was uncomfortably warm, the hum of electricity buzzing in the walls. Simon settled, standing behind him as he watched whatever was playing with a perverted glee (that was hidden behind a skull mask). A security cam footage of some drawing room. His wife inside with that bastard he owned money too, his hands groping all over her plump skin.

He growls. "Why are you doing this to me? I was going to pay you back! I just needed-"

A heavy hand smacks against his head, causing him to reel back. He winces, feeling warm blood gush down his nose. "Shut it." A deep voice practically snarls in his ear. "Watch your little birdie get fucked by a real men you pathetic cuck."

His chin is forced forward, eyes locked onto the screen as John lays you down on the couch. His lips pressed into yours with feral desperation, sweet high-pitched sighs and moans leaving your mouth, swallowed up by Johns desperation.

It was all teeth and rough hands, spit slid across your lips as he tugs off your t-shirt, groping at your tits.

"Gonna get ya pregnant baby...and you'll forget about him."

Gage can't say a word.

He deserved it anyway.

Johns hand groped at your stomach, whispering praises as he kisses your bruises. Kissing away those harsh hands and wounds that your ex lover gave you. You were too sweet and pretty for him anyway, but Johns got you. And he ain't letting go.

"C'mon, move it.." He mumbles, letting you roll over to your stomach. "Ass up. Atta girl." He presses his hands into the fat before smacking.

You jolt forward, choking back a moan. "j- John."

"Thats right. Say my name baby, say it like a damn prayer." Your panties slide down to your knees, slick already sliding down those creamy thighs John loved so much.

"john." You moan again, wriggling your ass and arching your back. You may have been putting on a show, but not the kind of show where you fake cum. No you wanted to do this, wanted to tease him. "Want you in me..." You mumble, turning your head so you could look up at him with hazy red eyes.

A belt hits the floor, followed by another (more harsher) spank. "I know you do. Pussy fucking wet for me, all I did was rub your ass. Filthy woman, aren't you?"

You whine as you feel his leaking cockhead nudge up against your clit, rubbing precum across it. It knocks against your entrance, before finally sliding in. A full burning feeling bubbled up, whines leaving your lips as more and more of his thick cock speared into you.

"Gonna breed you." Thrust.

"Gonna put a damn ring on that finger the second we get a positive." Thrust.

"So fucking high, look at me. Look at me. Look at the mess youre making on my cock." Thrust.

They were slow, but deep, practically knocking the air from your lungs and making your belly tighten and burn. Tears filling your eyes as you mewled, arching your back and holding onto the couch like a lifeline. Desperately grinding your ass back when his thumb circles your clit. "I'll be your wife, please just let me cum!-"

He laughs, eyes suddenly meeting the camera he set up for this occasion. Oh how he'd love to look at Gages face, see the anger and pathetic distraught. He found your g-spot, making you cry out and try to claw away. "oh no not yet honey...I ain't finished." He growls, digging his fingers into your plushy hips and pulling you back.

You cried, feeling the snap coming on fast. You couldn't make any noises other than breathless moans. The air leaving you as you approach the finish line.

Everything stilled, and then it crashed down. Hot spurts of cum mixed with your slick, buried deep into your womb. His hips slid from yours, his sweaty chest resting up against your chest.

Maybe he was glad Gage didn't pay his loans. He got somethin' much better than money.

A pretty birdie, and a couple babes.

[mattscoquette]

‘25 goals and ‘24 recap ♡ ୨୧ ࣪ ˖

while everyone is so focused on achievements and goals for the new year, i think it’s important to look back at what impactful things you did this year. this is a list of my most memorable moments within the last year, and my goals for the next. feel free too reblog with yours :)

— this was truly a year for the books. although i struggled with my mental health a lot, alongside other things in my personal life, i still think this year was good for me as a person and i learned a lot about myself. this is (in no particular order) some things i did this year that i think are worth mentioning.

౨ৎ started my fitness journey - i was in the gym five days a week for the longest period ever in my life. i learned to portion my food and began to eat cleaner and looked and felt the best i ever had in YEARS. as someone who struggled for a long time with self image and discipline, this was very healing for me.

౨ৎ i lost a few friends, but i made SO many new ones on here.

౨ৎ started journaling. i wrote about my day and what i was feeling. i found that having some sort of outlet really helped me with my anxiety.

౨ৎ picked up a long lost love for writing. i started to upload my work onto a platform for the first time in five years.

౨ৎ made my first big girl purchase and bought my dream car.

౨ৎ really found out my style and aesthetic. the clothes i like, the styles, colors, etc., after struggling with it for a long time.

౨ৎ developed and grew my blog to what it is today. coming on here is such an outlet for me, and i can’t thank you all enough. i know i’m just a blog on this app, but i seriously take every compliment and kind word to heart. even the smallest compliments will make my day. this year was hard on me, but everyone on this app made it so much better. i love all the love i get on here, i couldn’t be more thankful 🤍🤍 i seriously love eveyone on here so much.

special shoutout to @55sturn @sweetangelgirl7 @sirenedeslily @mattybsgroupie @freshloveee @pip4444chris @secretlocket @chrisweetheart @luverboychris @bernardsbendystraws @mattsdolll @cvnntagious + all of my mutuals ❣︎ i truly appreciate and love every one of you, i love talking with u guys so much. u make this app so fun <3

— it’s somewhat cheesy to have the “new year, new me” mindset, but i really think the start of a new year is a great way to clean the slate. they seem to go by fast, but one year can change so much. these are my goals for the new year.

౨ৎ exercise (4-5 days a week)

౨ৎ eat healthy and be mindful about food

౨ৎ ace all classes for both spring & fall semesters

౨ৎ figure out where i’m transferring to after my two year school

౨ৎ new job as a server / waitress

౨ৎ make and save lots of money

౨ৎ wardrobe and closet makeover

౨ৎ long healthy hair, white teeth

౨ৎ stop drinking soda , make coffee at home

౨ৎ get more into self care

౨ৎ listen to more music and new artists , explore albums and songs i don’t know of artists i currently like

౨ৎ write more often , try not to hold myself to a standard or a ridiculously high expectation

౨ৎ be kind to myself

all in all, i’m very excited to see what the new year brings, but sad to see this one go. this year was one i don’t think i’ll ever forget. i grew so much, and i really tend to forget that at time, as does everyone. you’re so focused on the road ahead of you, you forget to look back and see how far you’ve come. no matter what you do in your life, remember to be kind to yourself and don’t give up because you deserve to live the best life you can. i hope everyone has a very happy and healthy new year !!! i love you all <3

[cosmowgyral]

Falling into Sin with the Black Tiger ~ Gilbert's 4th Birthday

▪︎ Chapter 2

This is a fan translation so please don't expect it to be 100% accurate. Creative liberties have been taken. All content belongs to Cybird. Reblogs are appreciated. Hope you enjoy!

Gilbert: Ahaha, I was found right away.

The moment I heard a voice from behind me, I was embraced by a cold body.

When I turned around and looked up, there was not a trace of remorse on Gilbert’s face.

Emma: Is work going well for you?

Gilbert: Today my work is to look after you.

Gilbert: But, taking others’ opinions on account while deciding on a present, that’s not good, little rabbit.

(You’ve been watching me all this time.)

I felt both embarrassed and giddy, and my cheeks relaxed.

Emma: But, I don’t know much about gemstones.

Emma: I want to choose something good as it’s a gift for you, Gil. But I don’t know what is good or bad.

Gilbert: Then I’ll teach you.

Emma: That would take the fun out of it.

Gilbert: That’s not true. Rather, you can now go on a date with me, so it’s more fun, right?

(Surely, that’s a possible way to think about it?)

My face becomes sloppier as Gilbert asks me to “enjoy our date”.

(It might be better to wait and see his reaction while choosing.)

Emma: If that’s the case, may I ask you a favour?

Gilbert: Heehee, with pleasure. I’m glad.

Gilbert: I was worried you might try to rely on someone other than me again.

(He really is a troublesome villain.)

I walk through the town, holding Gilbert’s cold hand tightly.

Emma: Which gemstone is your favourite, Gil?

Gilbert: I’ve never considered it.

Emma: Obsidian or something….

Gilbert: Heehee, isn’t that a bit too simple?

Emma: You always give them to me.

Gilbert: I just want to dye you in my colours. It’s not about likes or dislikes or anything like that.

I showed him one gem after another, closely watching his reaction, but there was no change in his refreshing smile.

Gilbert: Which gemstone is your favourite?

Emma: …..When you ask me that, I don’t know what to say.

Gilbert: Right?

(All gemstones are beautiful and sparkly…but my favourite….)

What caught my eye was a rose-red gemstone with a matching blue stone.

(…Maybe I just like Gilbert rather than the gemstones.)

Gilbert: Hey, aren’t you tired from walking? Let’s take a break.

Emma: Uh…that’s right! Let’s do that.

I was so embarrassed that my voice came out higher than usual.

Gilbert gave out a small snort and went to a nearby food stall.

He ordered food so naturally that it was hard to believe he was part of the royal family. Then he promptly received the dishes.

Gilbert: Here you go.

Emma: Thank you. This is?

Gilbert: Dampfnudel…a kind of steamed bread that sells well this time of the year.

Gilbert: There are a variety of sauces but I ordered two kinds, a sweet one and a weird one.

(This is the first time I'm seeing this. It’s a standard thing in Obsidian.)

We sat down next to each other on a nearby bench and I immediately took a bite of the bread smothered in the sweet sauce.

Emma: Mmmm, it’s fluffy, chewy, and delicious!

Gilbert: What about the weird one?

I opened my mouth obediently to take a bite of the bread offered to me by Gilbert, and the sweet and spicy taste balanced well on my tongue.

Emma: It’s so spicy that it warms up my cold body right away.

Gilbert: Heehee, your thoughts are so cute and honest, aren’t they?

Emma: I’d like to hear your thoughts as well, Gil.

To return the favour, when I bring the steamed bun to Gilbert’s mouth, he bites it off all at once, along with my fingers.

(I..thought I was done for….I don’t feel the cold anymore, it’s actually getting hotter.)

Gilbert: They’re delicious, but….I’ve become tamed by your sweets, you know.

Gilbert: Eating street food makes me miss it.

Emma: That’s an honour.

Gilbert: Will you bake me a cake for my birthday again?

Emma: Of course. Not just cake, but lots of other foods too. Do you have any requests?

Gilbert: You’re always like that.

Emma: For your birthday, I want to pack in as many as your ‘number one’ things as possible.

Gilbert: Hmm…..

Gilbert: I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and I really think that right now is the happiest I’ve been in my life.

Gilbert leans in and rests his head on my shoulder.

Gilbert: It’s not that I’m being shy or considerate.

Gilbert: But what you want, you want me to be more selfish than this, right?

Emma: That’s right.

Gilbert: To bother me like this…

Emma: I’m sorry. But I won’t say ‘you don’t have to think about it’.

(Gilbert always thinks about his country and other people, but never about himself.)

(That’s why, when asked ‘what do you want?’, I knew you couldn’t answer.)

(People who don’t know how to live selfishly, are confused, worried, and at a loss for words.)

(I want you to be very selfish.)

Emma: I’ll wait as long as it takes for an answer.

Gilbert: Little rabbit, you have a mean look on your face.

Emma: That’s because I’m the fiancée of a great villain.

Gilbert laughed and quietly closed his eyes.

Spending casual time listening to the peaceful hustle and bustle of the crowd was blissful, and yet I felt a little pain.

*scene shifts to the dining room in the palace*

Emma: Lies….

[Chapter 1] [Masterlist] [Chapter 3]

[valandrawrites]

2024 Recommended Fics - Incomplete List

Here's my start at an end of year round up. If you're looking for a specific kind of fic or trope, let me know, and I'll try to find something for you! I have many, many more I could add, and what I've included is in no particular order.

I didn't list the rating or warnings with this because it just got too long, and honestly, I'm lazy. Read at your own risk.

A. fragilis by eachainn @eachainn

This is quite simply the best fic I've ever read. Do not continue until you read this one!

150 million years ago, an Allosaurus finds a stranger had wandered into his territory and he wants the intruder out.

1878, the middle of what will become known as the Bone Wars between O.C. Marsh and Edward Drinker Cope. Castiel Novak is transporting fossils from the latest dig in South Dakota back to Yale. He has to be careful, because there are people who work for Professor Cope who would gladly take the fossils off of his hands.

Those Who Get in the Way of Peace by ladyofthelake17 @ladyofthe-lake

“Don’t make me an optimist. You will ruin my life.”

Dean Winchester finally has his shit together: business is booming at his auto repair shop, he's eating healthy (okay, he's eating salad with bacon bits), he's exercising (in a cemetery). He's single, but he's claiming it as a good thing. And so what if Sam's not talking to him? So what if his dad is marrying an insane artist? And so what if the priest marrying them is hot as hell with a name that sounds like a sin just to say it — Castiel?

AKA: another Fleabag fic, but maybe it'll have a happy ending. Maybe.

Illicit Ink by allmystars @allmystars-i

Dean Winchester has a secret. He does this thing maybe two or three times a week, and he loves it, don’t get him wrong, but… He’s a camboy, and that’s not exactly something he wants shared around the breakfast table. When Dean decides he needs a change, it’s nothing too drastic, just a tattoo. But the hot-as-sin tattoo artist he gets to do the job might just change everything.

Ground Control to Major Tom by MrsShinigamiDaiko @mrs-shinigami-daiko

Dean Winchester dreamed of being a mechanic all his life, but he never thought he would end up working as a mechanic for NASA and going into space. He is thrust into his first ever space mission after a strange lunar body, dubbed Luna-b I, mysteriously appears in Earth’s sky. Teams of astronauts scramble up to the permanent lunar base and begin analysis to determine if the blue orb is any threat to mankind. Most of the first team is sent home after a few months, nearly all of them having fallen ill with devastating cases of space sickness. As time goes on, it becomes clear that something altogether unnatural is going on here. Dean feels like he’s losing his mind as he and his crewmates also begin to succumb to sickness. He races to figure out what could possibly be the root cause. Is Luna-b I really just some weird, deep space rock that got caught in the Moon’s orbit by chance? Or is it something much more sinister, watching and waiting for the opportune moment?

Pinfall by crowleyo @crowleyo

Cas runs the family diner with his adopted son, Jack. His old high school flame rolls into town and he thinks he can just step back into Castiel's life. Well... He's kind of right.

This Impossible Happiness by FriendofCarlotta @friendofcarlotta

In one universe, Dean Winchester is pushing thirty. He’s just danced at his little brother’s wedding, he likes his job at the garage, and he goes on the occasional hunt with friends and family. He’s also desperately lonely for someone to share his life with. One day, he finds a mysterious package outside his door. It contains a news clipping about an urban legend that just might be real, and a book by Professor Castiel Novak, who happens to specialize in that same urban legend.

In another universe, Castiel Novak’s roadside motel is slowly dying, its business hollowed out by the interstate system. Dean Winchester, the man who asked him to run away together years ago, is only a painful regret these days. Until the day a mysterious letter Castiel doesn’t remember writing brings Dean back to his doorstep.

Out there in the multiverse, a man and an angel look for each other in all the wrong places. In the meantime, they might as well help a few other versions of themselves figure things out.

Then Comes the Rain by someonetoanyone @someonetoanyone-blog - a three part series

“I’m not looking forward to it,” Rowena tells him, as though that will absolve her of anything, “he may have a better solution for this, but the spell requires a smidge of spilled Grace. He’ll need to be hurt for this to work, and — Dean, all joking aside, you may be the only person fit to do this.”

“Oh, this’ll be great — go ahead, tell me why I’m the only one that can get butt-fucked to save the world.”

Mind Your Own Business by BunnyHunter

While the ability to overhear the secret thoughts of the people around him was distracting at best and anxiety-inducing at worst, Castiel had found ways to cope that included a pair of noise-canceling headphones and burying himself in his PhD research. After hearing inner thoughts for his entire life, there were very few things he overheard that surprised him anymore. So imagine his shock when his roommate Sam's brother, Dean, came to stay with them. While Dean may have been able to keep a straight face on the outside, his inner thoughts told a much different story.

Survivalism by bleuzombie @bleuzombie

Genetic engineers Castiel Novak and Dean Winchester are on the verge of a breakthrough in cancer treatment and possibly even a cure, using genetic manipulation and incredibly, shark DNA.

Following a devastating diagnosis of brain cancer, and amid growing pressure from his boss, Dick Roman, for results, Castiel is pushed to an act of desperation. He tests the cure on himself with disastrous and violent results.

He has never been so hungry.

Dean Winchester’s half-way house for orphaned half-monsters (and humans) by foolondahill17 @foolondahill17

What if Dean just kept every kid he’s ever interacted with?

A re-write of season 6 onwards in which Dean slowly collects every conceivable stray that crosses his path.

The eyes of a lamb by naughtystiel @naughtystiel for Shedar

The year is '98 and Spring is approaching fast. For most, the season is a symbol of new beginnings with Mother Nature’s chaste kiss that breathes life into everything once more. It's inspiring, peaceful and beautiful. So, the fact that this is exactly when a certain serial killer loves to strike makes Detective Winchester's blood boil. Two years in a row now, the guy has slipped through his fingers, not leaving a single trace behind. No clues, no leads, just murdered women in the most picturesque places imaginable. And the worst thing of all? Sometimes Dean catches himself admiring the killer's work.

where there is darkness by quiettewandering @quiettewandering @wanderingcas 

When Castiel Milton takes a job to be the new assistant keeper at Whaleback Lighthouse in Kittery, Maine, he expects to live out his new life in quiet isolation. What he gets instead is Dean Winchester: bitter, brash, and, like Castiel, harboring a dark secret. As the spark of attraction between them grows into a flame, the lighthouse walls start closing in—as do the ghosts of Dean and Castiel's checkered pasts.

[blitzbuckz]

OKAY TIME OF THE YEAR TO BE EMOTIONAL! — as of now, this blog is 8 months old. ( I'm not a hb verteran. im a baby c': ) I made my blog near the end of May 2024. I had about a year break from tumblr && I almost decided not to come back at all when my PC died on me.

Long story short I got a gaming laptop && decided to give Blitzø a try, which had a rocky start but in the end it saved my life! I couldn't picture my life without any of you guys && your time has seriously opened my eyes to so many things! which i'll elaborate further with some of you. ( mostly affiliates but not all ) PLEASE do keep in mind that I'm just ONE person behind this rampant demon, it's impossible for me to mention every mutual but do know I SEE YOU. whether we've interacted once or through 'likes' — do know I consider you part of my life too. always will. you guys are my every day inspiration do be better and I'll continue trying to share my time. foremost, make y'all smile because in the end that's your best feature. I love my audience ( mutuals ) and making you smile means everything to me <3

now onto the mentions! will be under 'Read More' for length purposes. again if you're not listed it doesn't mean i don't value you! i will get better at mentioning and dividing my time with everyone come this New Year! so HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE. WHETHER YOU SPEND IT WITH FAMILY OR ON HERE REMEMBER YOU ARE LOOOVED! I LOVE YOU ALL AND HERE'S TO VENTURING ANOTHER YEAR WITH YOU SINNERS mwah mwah <3

( in no particular order here I goooo )

[ @nopossum / @h3lled ] - MY M&M. MY SERETONINS. since beginning of my blog you guys have made me comfortable in this hell-ish fandom, I was afraid, afraid of reaching out to everyone and doubting whether I was good enough to write Blitz — but you guys accepted me for who I am. you guys gave me a reason to stick around, to dote with my silly doodles, but foremost made me obsess with I.M.P I'll wait an eternity to rp or let alone talk to you. your time means everything to me. I LOVE YOU GUYS SO FUCKN MUCH. YALL ARE FUCKABLE WORTHY. IM KISSING YOU BOTH!! MWAHS MWAHS!!! hope you guys are enjoying New Years!! you little rascals deserve nothing but the BEST! i'll be spoiling you two with art soon enough too. just you watch!! <3

[ @grimowled ] - MY FIRST RP STOLAS PARTNER. i remember being nervous to talk to you, let alone rp with you, yet we took off faster than I'd ever imagine. waay too fast, but that's how in sync we are! we have the same ambitions, same love for our muses. I can always hear Stolas through your writing, especially Pilot Stols. which I didn't think I would of had a eye for — but now I'm lowkey foaming in the mouth lol anything and everything you do is jaw dropping and I too will wait an eternity for you. you are worth the wait. ilysm please never change luv <3

[ @botanikos / @starsaught ] - MY FAMILY. MY HEARTS AND BRIGHTEST OF STARS. coming in on tumblr I didn't think I would of found anyone to share a family with, to feel needed every day, or even mentioned. Sinsmas may have ended in a rough note, but honestly I felt different because I had so much fun screaming with both of you. going back and forth on discord with you guys was the most fun i had in awhile. easily the best holiday I had in years! I love watching you guys go on rants, speak your thoughts, and overall write with a fiery passion. I want to like every single one of your posts, simply EVERYTHING you guys do and I cannot wait to venture into another year with both of y'all. another year, another problem. whatever comes your way I will protect you both!! you guys deserve the world and back — I'll do whatever it takes to make you two smile. you guys are my constellations, my burning stars, I couldn't picture tumblr without you both. IM ON THE VERGE OF TEARS HERE. seriously, it's a blessing and an honor anytime I get to interact with you two. I'd have the biggest gap in my heart without y'all. ilu fams so so much. Happy New Year! may it be filled with love and joy- as you bestowed into my life ;; v ;; <33

[ @gethellbcnt ] - MY DARLING. MY BOO. MY ENTIRE UNIVERSE. you've always made us feel wanted. you gave my muse a mother, a best friend, a boyfriend, frenemies, etc. I'll never forget the endless nights we would always go on rants but also the times we've screamed together over these unhinged sinners of ours. Drawing and editing with you has also been one of my joyous moments! Everything you do is crazy perfection and I never feel alone with you. Every waken moment with you is a bliss. I cannot wait to go in another year with you! to scream, cry, share our crazy collections, etc. ilu bitch so fuckin MUCH. pls never forget it <3

[ @madefate / @fearedelight ] - CLAAAIRE!! SAAAAL!!! BEST GIRLS!!!!! anytime Loona appears in screen I'm always thinking of you two. both of you write her with such precision and depth. I love engaging threads, screaming together, let alone spending time talking with you in general!! always eye-pleasing to see y'all in my dash! Highly respect the way you can handle multiple muses too. something I can never accomplished, you're GIFTED and will always have my undying respect. also doting!!! I WANNA GIVE YOU BOTH SMOOCHES!!! I know I'm terrible interacting daily like most, but I hope to be better at it come this new year. Thank you for interacting with a silly goober like me, your time is forever treasured in my heart. ily guys so so much! many mwahs!!! and here's to another year screaming together! hopefully <33

[ @peppy-jester ] - bEEANIIIEEEE! MY BEST MATE! im convinced we share one braincell at times xD you made me fall hard for BlitzFizz, something I never considered before, let alone have an interest in Mammon! you have the most bubbly personality I've seen in ages and it's honestly contagious, IN A GOOD WAY. I love spending time with you and foremost BEYOND GRATEFUL for comforting me. for going Hell and back when I was at my lowest. Every moment spent with you liberates my heart profoundly, it's a pleasure and an honor. I hold every thread of ours as if they are gems! they are my treasures! like you will forever be. whatever you need, I'm here for you. always will be. I would love nothing more than to go in another year with you. to scream, talk, smut, ANYTHING your wholesome heart desires. I'll always be within reach ilysm!!!!! <33

[ @a-hell-of-a-time ] - JOOO. venturing with you in this fandom has been one of my greatest joys as well! I enjoy our discord talks, our silly interactions- WHICH TURNED UP TO BE CANON. it's engraved in my brain and i'll never forget it as long as I live. or see that icy bird. I love all the times I drew our silly interactions and when we obsess over Stolas/Vassago privately. Let alone how much we have in common with it comes to our mother language lmao I look forward to interacting with you more come this New Year! <33 and thank you so much for having the patient of a saint! you're awesome ily ;;;

[ @yoroiis ] - KASAAA!! MY WORLD. I wouldn't of gave tumblr a chance if it weren't for you. you opened my eyes to a place so fun??? to help me make friends but also distract me from the every day hellish existence. I'm so glad I followed you and I will forever treasure your time! as I have been for- 15 years?? it's crazy how far we've been mutuals/friends. i practically grew up with you xD it's INSANE but god getting old with you has been such an honor. although I'm struggling to pick up threads, I love that you are always understanding and always willing to talk to me. as you have been for YEARS. I love you so much and I cannot wait to draw more TLK kitties with you! even if you don't have the time, I will spoil you anyways!! bc you deserve the world!!! thank you for being by my side for DECADES. Iysm and I'm certainly ready to spend another year with you <33 hopefully i'll Genshin will have an ending by then bc jfc it's never ending lmaoo

[ @contractfee ] - we just recently got acquainted but i'd be lying if i didn't admit how ridiculously ATTACHED i am to you. you're so multitalented?? I have the biggest respect for people with multiple muses and- MAN there's no one who ever challenged us with such tantalizing power prowess. I HEAR YOUR STRIKER yeah im biased but I never bat an eye for that serpent before?? you made me feel a newfound adoration for that character. Im besotted with him as I am with your writing, but also venturing nights talking with you until you drift to sleep. I enjoy every second of it and I'm so glad you reached out to me when you did, I never envisioned us being this close. You are never a bother, but an inspiration. Thank you for being involved in my life and I look forward to spending another year with you. if you'll have us :') ilysm

[ @themosthatedbeingg ] - KAAAS. IRL BESTIE. my only irl friend as a matter of fact lmao I adore you to the moon and back! I was ready to give in on Conventions, if i had to be blunt, I guess a lost my passion for them- but you convinced me to give them another shot. you gave me and my sister another reason to go. HELL I wouldn't be hunting down HB CASTS if it weren't for you. FOR THAT I LOVE YOU FOREVER you gave me something that will stick with me for the rest of my life. the memories. also us calling each other bitches and losers was so so much fun! i wish i could have shared our texts bc it was so damn hilarious!! i never get to talk to anyone like that but i felt- so comfortable with you?? you also helped me when i was going through shit. I'll be seeing you soon next month! then the month after for the convention!! I LOOK FORWARD TO ALL THE THINGS. I'LL BE HUGGING YOU SOON BITCH ily <333

[ @lustsang ] - MAAAY. my waifu material. it's crazy how long we've been mutuals and i'm so so thankful we didn't drift apart. You will always be the first Verosika into our lives. I sometimes glance back at my own doodles to go through everything again. I wouldn't be where i am at if it weren't for you. YOU helped my writing grow, YOU helped me feel comfortable in this fandom. I hate myself sometimes because I've been having a hard time keeping up with everyone. especially with you. nevertheless, I love how you are always understanding and have the patience of a saint. I feel so comfortable around you!! please never change, you are the light of this fandom and tumblr wouldn't be the same without you c': everything you do is FLAWLESS. please remember that. ilysm bby! and i cannot wait for our muses to wed someday <33

[ @spidersins ] - LEONAAAA!! MY FIRST HAZBIN FOLLOWER! i've been floundering keeping up with everything?? you are a godsend for having the patience and understanding of a saint. I love you so very much and I cannot express how thankful i am to have you in my life ;; v ;; Im ridiculously attached to you and I enjoy our threads/discord interactions!! it's been a pleasure! from screaming over our muses VA hotties, talking about our unhinged boys, and indulging with Danny motta videos. It's like our fuckin tradition and I love spending it with you!!! i get overwhelmed easily but you are the one diamond in the rough. I never have to worry about you drifting apart, or losing interest on me, cuz i know you are always there in the other end. just as excited to engage with our silly talks or kinky smut. im super comfortable around you! here's to another year, and hopefully we'll scream over hazbin for a change too!! I cannot wait <333 ILYSM HON. talk to you real soon!

[ @avispatr ] - FINN!! I don't give you enough credit but I won't lie, I would of been lost without you. you kept me from making the biggest mistake of my life, you kept me sane when I was nearing my edge. You kept me in the right path and that's what i fucking admire about you. You are a leader, always lending a wing for those who need it. also your writing is entertaining as they are inspirational! please never change! I'm so grateful for the time we shared and I look forward to see you more in my dash. you're a blessing to the fandom and I will forever be a huge fan <33 you're the best!!! and, again, thank you for saving me. for giving me a reason to stick around too. I highly appreciate it!

[ @the-smallest-star ] - HANNAHH!! I remember seeing you in my dash, and how ridiculously nervous I was to reach out to you. Even when we followed each other, it took me a heckin month? months?? to send you anything, but when we did- it's like we knew each other for years!! I had such a blast talking to you! to have our boys instantly make a connection. also doodling with you has been easily one of my favorite pastimes! Coming into this fandom I never knew i'd find someone like you- not only good at art/writing but with such a creative mind to make an OC stand out. OCs don't get enough credit and I love how much in depth you have given not only one- but several OCs!! I've never seen anything quite like it and I have been on deviant art for YEARS before giving tumblr a shot. you are truly an inspiration to EVERYONE. I can't unsee your muses and I often think about them when Im watching Helluva episodes. IT'S THAT GOOD! please never change, you're the fuckin MVP and tumblr wouldn't be the same without you either. i'm forever a huge fan <33

[ @partyqveen ] - KIMBAA!! i know we sorta kinda just met but, I won't lie, even with the little time we've known each other- I'm already feeling so attached to you??? I HEAR YOUR MUSE AND I WAS SCREAMING YOUR NAME WHEN I WATCHED MASTERMIND. i missed you so much when you went on your hiatus and i was ridiculously excited when you made your return. I'll admit i haven't been the best at reaching people but I'm forever grateful to those who are understanding. like you. adulthood is a bitch, and talking to you always makes me feel better. always made me forget every day shitty stuff. you also restored my passion for TLK AND BEASTARS i finally have someone to scream with! it's been a blast so far and I look forward to venturing another year with you! especially when the new season of Beastars comes out! it's gonna be GR8. ily gurl. stay awesome!!! <33

[ @flamesignite ] - KAAAYY!!! we've also just met but I'm grateful to have a mutual like you. I love our silly interactions but also engaging with our slowburn romancing goofballs. I can't thank you enough for you patience and I cannot wait for our muses to get to know each other more coming this New Year! plotting with you is so much fun!! you're also one of the kindest of people I have ever met??? honestly you deserve all those followers and then some!! hope you have a wonderful New Year's!! talk to you real soon <33

[jazeswhbhaven]

Do you still accept requests?? If so, is it alright if I ask for a headcanon about how the kings + lucifer and bael about how they feel towards the fact that MC excels very well in leadership and is actually capable of leading (like a group or whatever), but they refuse to do so because they don't trust their abilities and much prefers to be a follower instead of a leader? I don't know if that makes sense..🥹

Ty so much for waiting anon (if you're still here?) I started looking back at old requests and I'm just like YEAH dunno why I waited so long on this omg. Please accept my thoughts on this MC!

Bael: He's seen MC's potential when they stepped in to help him out when Beelzebub decided to cause a ruckus in Abyssos and ditch yet again. Making sure to clean up the trouble, ease the devils, Bael was impressed and wanted MC to be a permanent resident in order to keeps things going well. However, when figuring out that MC would rather be in the shadows instead of the front lines, he understood completely. Though he wouldn't mind having a break now and then, it was a lot to ask that of MC. He still makes it a point to compliment their leadership skills when it's due and remind them often that they do have the potential.

Satan: He loves a good leader that reflects his own qualities. That's why he hypes up MC all the time and even gives them free reign to order around his military and nobles just to see how they act under the pressure. Too bad MC would rather be fine as a supporter, just following Satan's command when it comes to battles or how to conduct certain practices. Satan understands, but he's still randomly throwing MC into the leadership role now and then as a surprise.

Mammon: His master is the best at everything, so it's no surprise that they would be this good with leadership roles. I mean, they even got Bimet to listen to them and that's difficult for anyone who isn't Mammon to do. But, he can see without having to ask that MC would rather be more of a support person than a leader. Mammon still compliments them and while he may have a strange way of doing it...and without a filter...his heart is in the right place.

Beelzebub: Yeah, uh good luck with trying to convince Beel that MC would rather not be the leader of his country alongside Bael. He makes it a joke each time that MC should work part-time as the ruler of Abyssos and that he can make it to where MC kinda looks similar to him too. Needless to say, MC wasn't having it. But it's not like Beel is gonna remember, but he treats it like a fun joke each time. The only place where MC isn't holding up the fort...is the bedroom.

Leviathan: He gets frustrated easily when MC doubts themselves. He'd even be inclined to agree, that they don't have what it takes. But he doesn't truly think that about MC, in fact he hopes someday that they can get out of their head and be more of a leader and showcase those abilities to the fullest. He encourages them to spend more time with him, and perhaps he can influence that to a certain extent. Though...sometimes he's fine with MC being a subordinate under him. To think if they surpassed him...

Lucifer: Naturally, he doesn't want MC to do anything they aren't comfortable with so he understands when they would rather be on the support team helping out the healers and following orders. He knows what it's like being a leader in both Heaven and in Paradise Lost and it can get quite exhausting. He supports MC in any way possible, and compliments them when they do well and want affirmation.

Belphegor: Well, since this king is asleep majority of the time and leaves things up to his right hand noble, Beleth there's really not much to discuss about MC not being a leader. He can't really be bothered with it, so in short MC just supports Beleth and helps him with whatever he needs. They thought they'd get more relief with how things are run in Nifelheim but turns out it's just because it's Beleth and Belphie's teamwork that gets things done. So much for that!

Asmodeus: A leader? Well he thinks that mindset is adorable. He likes watching MC use their potential to the fullest, but in actuality he's just getting off mentally to their determination. When they aren't feeling like their skills are the best, he's right there to say he's got it, and boy does he. Asmo doesn't mind being the leader in just about everything. MC won't have to worry for a thing, the battles lasting mere seconds when it comes to having Asmo around. His favorite human just has to listen to him and the rest will follow. Maybe...MC should consider being a leader sometimes to resist his charms? Maybe...

[ohno-elrond]

FAVE CREATORS ART CHALLENGE: PART ONE

(based on ana's wonderful idea!!!)

so i wanted to do a shout-out on here as well because i think the rings of power fandom has many many talented individuals! of course i will forget people and cannot tag everyone and this fandom is far too big but if you create things, know you are appreciated and you are so important to fandom <3333

let's start with gifs & graphics makers. i'm honestly impressed with the amount of edits some of you have made like damn, y'all productive 😂

(in no particular order)

@letthefairyinyoufly i loooove how sharp your gifs are, and your coloring is always SO pretty 😍 this is still my fave set of yours this year because i feel it's so different from your usual sets but it's soooo cool and creative!! dagor dagorath my beloved <3

@ceeyoutea i'm mostly amazed by how consistent you can color and it always looks good??? HOW? teach me your ways!! i love this set of yours, the quote is so perfect. but honestly all your saurondriel gifs are incredible.

@saudariel hehe of course gotta mention the bestie 😌 rj you know all the good i think of your gifs and how i'm in awe of your talent and every set blows me away etc etc. ily. all your gifs are stunning i can't pick a fave ok don't sue me.

@withered-rose-with-thorns ana!!! i love your coloring style, i immediately know when you're the one behind a set hehe :D love when you're being creative like with this half-maia celebrian set (still my fave of yours). it's sooo good, the font is a great pick and the cropping is incredible on the bottom gifs omg.

@thequeensjester obviously gotta mention you because your graphics are out of this world gorgeous!!! the way you make the colors pop, your use of textures, your fontwork, etc. i can go on for a while. truly you're so talented!! choosing a fave is too difficult, i'm in love with everything you make.

@elena-gilbert yet another super talented creator! looove your coloring style so much. also love how you aren't afraid to try out different fonts, effects or transitions!! my fave set is this one i'm obsessed with the yellow and how it pops. the coloring is truly gorgeous and that glitch on the last gif is so cool. and the quote choice is obviously perfect for them <3

@percysjakcson wanted to do a shoutout to your coloring skills because your sets are sooooo pretty. love this one in particular, this purple is stunning!!!

@lexys i keep repeating myself at this point 😂 but god i love your coloring!!! it looks so natural and soft. and your gifs are so high quality too. love your lotr / trop parallels sets <3

@martanis loooove the sweet pink in your gifsets haha. no but honestly your coloring is so nice to look at, i'm jealous!! so many gorgeous gifsets. and i wanted to thank you in particular for making gifs and edits of the cast as well.

@fukutomichi yet another person with excellent coloring skills! love your creativity as well, especially with layouts. and your gifs are so sharp and high quality!! and you always pick such good shots too. wanted to give you a super special shoutout as well because you always gif all the characters, giving each of them the spotlight they deserve 🥰

@sugurugetos more quality coloring can be found here :D it's so pretty!! i love their darkness? if that makes sense. like i personally tend to sometimes go overboard with the brightness. idk i'm rambling. anyway gotta talk about this set though because it still makes me laugh. he's so silly. love it.

@goodsirs stunning nice and crisp gifsets just like i love them. great natural-looking coloring as well. no notes, all around wonderful work, chef's kiss <3

@celebrimborium of course had to mention you!! gorgeous coloring and creative sets. love the fonts you use as well. really tough to pick a fave but my heart goes out to this set because it's so cool and i'm a sucker for a good color + b&w contrast. that font is amazing too!! they're just lil creechers 😌

@cuthalions your coloring is soooooooo gorgeous, there's a softness to it that i love. all your sets are beautiful but i love this one in particular because the typography is incredible. the gifs are so sharp and just so nice to look at!!! and that middle gif with the incredible b&w and that quote has me on the floor. and love all your book inspired edits as well!

@rithe ohh the way i'm in love with your edits, the cropping is exquisite!!! and i love your coloring so much. my fave are your song edits tho, they're soooooo pretty to look at. (this one in particular) i'm in love with that font you use. and the caps you choose are SO fitting!! gah 😍

@rhaenyradaemons your coloring is SO pretty julia!!! it's got that muted softness i love (idk how to describe it, i'm tired haha) and they're nicely sharp and clean. just very pleasing to look at :D

@emziess i love your coloring so muchhhh. i think this one is my fave, i love the rich and warm yellow contrasting with the blueish tone on the first & last one. and they're so sharp and nice! beautiful work all around <3

this took a lot longer than expected and now i'm exhausted so part two will be another day 😂

if you read all this, congrats to you!!

like i said this fandom is filled with talented people and i'm so happy to see all your beautiful creations!! may 2025 be inspiring to you all. i cannot wait to see all the new things you will create in the future 😘

[tainbocuailnge]

thinking about the terrible victoria arc and how it could be less terrible. taking chapter 14 as premise & reverse engineering how to better get to that emotional payoff (namely the babel squad finally getting closure for theresa's death and babel's downfall & the fate of the sarkaz being severed) without throwing the base concepts of the other chapters out completely i think for starters the entirety of chapter 9 should just be an event instead. so much of the dublinn plotline was in an event already (what the firelight casts) and ever since ch9 most of "the dublinn plotline" has just been eblana ominously hovering in the distance, its just bloating things with no meaningful contributions. that does mean taking horn and bagpipe out too, much as I like them, but I think they can shine better when they're not competing with so many other white women for empty screentime anyway.

then you want the victoria arc proper to have you meet the self salvation corps asap after sneaking into the city and the core tension is going to be between siege and her gang as face of the nobility even if they individually might not agree with that label, the self salvation corps as representative of the common people of londinium who may hate the nobles but still have their own unsustainable british nationalism to work through, and rhodes island as altruistic outsiders whose reasons for getting involved don't actually have to do with victoria itself. clovisia was obviously supposed to be an amiya expy before she got forgotten almost immediately after her debut, but keeping the focus on these three groups would ideally also get some use out of that.

I said in a post i made after i read ch11 that it really isn't hard to see what siege's gang and the steam knight are supposed to represent, the symbol of victoria's honor and glory was betrayed by the greed of its nobles and its rightful heir is running a street gang, if you want to save victoria you have to decide what kind of "victoria" is worth saving to you. so in the victoria arc that doesn't suck these three parties are gonna have to actually talk about and contend with their inevitably clashing images and visions of victoria, and steam knight is gonna have to be a mandatory boss.

I also feel like manfred was fought too early for how much backstory weight he has to the babel gang and how long he sticks around after that. as if in ch10 they straight up didn't know yet that victoria arc was gonna end in being about babel, which might genuinely have been the case. so in the better victoria arc im making up in my head his bossfight is gonna get pushed back a few chapters.

like i'm thinking first victoria chapter you fight steam knight, it starts with meeting the self salvation corps and has you quickly throw everything on that gamble of getting siege the sword because both the glasgow gang and the corps buy enough into the idea of a past glorious victoria that can be brought back to try that only to have to face the decrepit husk of that glorious past in order to get it. siege can be passive in this one still, because her doing basically nothing is going to last only one chapter here instead of two and a half and it's going to serve a point.

so now you have the sword but both the gang and the corps are quite shaken about how they obtained it, and in the second chapter tensions between the three factions begin to rise when the obvious ideological disagreements about where to go next become impossible to postpone. you fight damazti here because the cluster is gonna be an awesome plot device for pushing mutual distrust and paranoia. honestly I don't even remember what the deal with damazti cluster was or what it was supposed to contribute so in the better victoria arc they do something about that too probably. and siege is forced to form actual opinions and say them out loud, and they're going to differ from what the rest of the glasgow gang is saying.

then by the third chapter you're able to sort out that internal conflict enough to finally muster the forces to fight manfred, this is probably where you get siege actually forming the exemplars and stuff, showing leadership and ideals and all that. i think allerdale can eat shit and so can the npc members of siege's gang so I'm cutting them out, we're putting all the focus on forcing these royal fake street punks from siege's posse and plain londinium factory workers from the self salvation corps to find common ideological ground. i like delphine though delphine can stay. there was a scene in one of these chapters with siege and amiya talking about their responsibility as figureheads that i liked (because it almost did something with siege) that i think would fit here, and it's an obvious chance to do something with clovisia too. like this is a good point to talk about more abstract ideas of leadership and turning people into figureheads and the way people will turn to a single person to save them, to start making it a bit more about theresa too. so here you get rhodes trying not to drag their feet because it's the part where it starts actually getting personal for them, materially because several members have a history with manfred but conceptually because there's an incoming shift of focus

defeating manfred marks rhodes island having to admit that they're very much in it for theresa and the sarkaz and their own personal history rather than just altruism towards "victoria", vague as that concept has become these past few chapters, so you get a somewhat more natural shift into the sanguinarch and the feranmut skeleton and finally theresa because we can sensibly compare the ideal and reality of the glorious war-torn homeland between victoria and kazdel, and the more abstract throughline of where the border between honoring the past and being dragged down by it lies. logistically the manfred fight would probably be in order to get out of the city and investigate the vampire shit so he'd serve as a kind of border between this being about victoria/londinium and this being about something beyond that in that way too.

and ch13 and 14 is when things finally started picking up so I don't think they actually need all that much tweaking beyond making it consistent with the things changed in the stuff before it. and probably cutting out some more characters. because the worst part really is that the focus was just all over the fucking place so just keeping the cast more manageable would do a lot. i think that teacher woman was interesting enough to be allowed to stay and that guy who killed himself in front of the sanguinarch was fun he can stay too. but i feel like the nightingale plotline might have to go.

[annaphoenix1994]

Ghost the Brat Tamer

Previous Chapter - Masterlist - Next Chapter

»»-------¤-------««

The dining room in the lodge was full - having to bring in extra chairs in order to seat everyone in both Kiera's family and Simon's. 

Although the family was together, Simon couldn't help but briefly feel overwhelmed with the swarm of familiar faces as they all sat at the table to mingle before the women would bring in the food. Simon couldn't quite agree with waiting at the table along with the other men for the food, but Kiera assured him that it was something both she and her mother enjoyed as well as teasing him that "nothing went wrong when the women of the house served the food". 

Kiera took notice of Simon's anxiety and gently cupped his knee with her palm under the table, feeling the halt of his tapping leg after feeling her touch. With his hand resting on top of hers, he found himself merely calming down at her touch. "I'm going to go help mom." She whispered, her hand now resting on his shoulder before she excused herself from the table and towards the kitchen with her mother and Price's wife, Alice. 

"Kiera, darling!" Alice smiled, opening her arms to embrace her. "I'm so happy to see you! This place is beautiful!" 

"I'm so glad you made it!" She smiled into the woman's shoulder. "I was worried your flight was delayed because of the holidays." 

She laughed, "Well, knowing my husband, he was sure to get me to schedule my flight early as well as the earliest time in the morning so that if it did delay, I'd still be here a day early." 

"I'm surprised he didn't go and get you himself." She poked. 

"Believe me, I'm sure he's thought about it!" She giggled. "So, what presentation can I grab to take to the table?" 

"I'm finishing up the turkey now," Eva replied, taking a quick glance towards Jacob and Evie that were in their chairs, smiling at their perfection. I can't wait to spoil you two like eggs! She hummed to herself. "The potatoes and green beans are done."

"Great! I'll go ahead and take them to the table." 

"Thank you so much," Eva smiled, wiping her hands on her apron. "Just keep the sides away from that husband of mine. He's notorious for trying to sneak an early bite." 

"Heavens, I'll have to put them towards the middle because my husband tries to do the same thing too!" Alice laughed. 

"We might as well take it all out at one time, because I wouldn't put it past Johnny to try and sneak a bite, too. He's towards the middle of the table and my dad and Price are on the end." Kiera added. 

"I'm sure Simon wouldn't let Johnny considering he has that established death glare with him, sweetheart." Eva giggled. 

"I don't know about that. He's too busy keeping an eye on that boy." 

"How's the young man doing?" 

"He's improved a lot," Kiera relieved. "He and Simon had a rough start, but he's growing on him." 

"You mean Simon is growing on him?" Eva questioned, confused. 

"No, Baler is growing on Simon," She corrected. "They're just alike." 

"You know, I was just thinking that little Baler and Simon have similarities." 

Kiera hummed in agreement, glancing towards the dining room to make direct eye contact with Simon who had been staring - admiring - at her. She wasn't sure what he was thinking about when she caught him staring, but she couldn't overlook the gleam of lust behind those brown eyes of his. She smirked at him, getting out of her mother's line of sight before removing her phone from her jacket pocket, purposely sending Simon a rather suggestive image of herself she had taken earlier and meant to send to him then, but she was glad she waited until now to send it, knowing she was continuing the dangerous dance of lust.

She watched him look at his phone, concealing it under the table as a part of him knew she had sent him something only his eyes needed to see. 

Breathing heavily through his nose, he knew he was going to rail her twice as long for teasing him - especially having the nerve to test his intimate patience while in an area where he couldn't express it. Bloody lass is going to be begging me to let her come, he huffed to himself, knowing he and Kiera shared the same heavy desire towards each other courtesy of their playful teasing hours prior. 

»»-------¤-------««

Although it was completely unexpected that the dinner took longer than expected as judged from the year prior, Simon and Kiera ended up heading back home a quarter until one a.m. "Sir, can I sleep in the bunkhouse tonight?" Baler asked suddenly, catching the couple off guard. 

"Why?" 

He gulped in nervousness, "I know it's late, but with the holiday I figured I'd sleep in the bunkhouse and get started early with chores..." 

"Why don't you want to sleep here?" Kiera questioned, her brows furrowed in concern as she suddenly felt like Baler didn't want to be in their household. 

"Honestly," He sighed. "That couch is very comfortable and I'm afraid I'll oversleep where I don't have an alarm clock. I figured if I slept in the bunkhouse, I'll be up when the wranglers do and won't get behind." 

Kiera shrugged, "I respect your responsibility, honey. If that's what you want to do." 

"I'll take you down there." Simon responded, holding Evie close to his chest as Kiera did the same with Jacob, keeping their small bodies secured within the warmth of their blankets. 

"O-Okay. Thank you." 

You just did yourself a favor, lad, Simon mused, strongly resisting a smirk as Baler had unconsciously saved himself from possibly having to hear the couple's unedifying and extended withholding from each other. "Just give us a minute to put them to bed and I'll take you down there." 

"Okay. I'll wait on the couch." 

Simon followed behind Kiera on the way to the nursery, watching her lay Jacob's drowsy body into his crib, smiling at how he nursed on his pacifier with heavy eyelids. However, Evie wasn't as easy to put down for bed as she grew to grow restless after being carried. "She's probably hungry, babe. I'll get her settled while you take Baler to the bunkhouse." 

He nodded, handing Evie to her mother before his hands found their way to her hips, squeezing slightly as he pressed his lips to the crown of her head, "I didn't forget about that stunt you pulled at dinner." 

She blushed, "Oh... My phone must've been acting up and sent that picture by accident." 

"No, I think you were acting up, love," He breathed against her hair. "Don't be a brat about it." 

"I might just be a brat," She giggled. "You won't do anything about it." 

He sighed heavily through his nostrils, "You'll see." 

"Should I break out the burn creme from my hospital days for when you tie me up?" She teased. 

"Negative, love," He smirked against her head. "I won't tie 'em too tight." 

"Oh, so you're planning on tying me up now?" She arched her brow. 

"If you want me to. I know plenty of knots and have a couple in mind to brat tame your arse." 

"I look forward to it. I'll make up a safe word while you're gone." She teased while moving to the rocking chair, sitting down slowly while holding Evie close to her chest. 

"You'll need one." He huffed playfully before exiting the room to take Baler to the bunkhouse, knowing that if he stayed in her presence any longer, he knew he wouldn't be able to hide his arousal unless he was able to do something about it. 

»»-------¤-------««

After taking Baler to the bunkhouse, Simon found himself rushing to get back to the house knowing that he and Kiera could finally be alone. 

His first stop was to the nursery, glancing in the dimly lit room to see if she was still in the rocking chair. Seeing that both babies were in their cribs, Evie making small little noises as she nursed on her pacifier, he was satisfied that they were tucked in and comfortable before continuing his pursuit of his partner. 

Their bedroom was dimly lit by the single lamp on the nightstand as Kiera sat on the edge of the bed with a silk robe clinging to her shoulders. He breathed heavily through his nose at the sight of her. "I had some trouble making up a safe word," She breathed a giggle. "I wasn't sure if you were serious or not..." 

"I was dead serious, love," He replied, standing in front of her and reaching out to cup her jaw. "Only if you want to."

"I want to, but I'm nervous..." 

"That's when you leave it to me." He breathed, rubbing the pad of his thumb against her cheek. 

"How rough are going to get rough with me?" 

"Depends on how rough you want me to, love," He assured her. "This ball is in your court when it comes to this." 

She nodded, peering her tongue from between her lips, "I'm ready." 

"I have another question for you." 

"Hm?" 

He leant over her to gently push her body down onto the bed with his torso, caging her between his arms while her legs instinctively went to wrap around his waist. "I can get rougher than what I've done with you before..." 

"That wasn't a question?" She giggled, pressing a kiss to his hot lips. 

"I was getting to it, but you're distracting me." 

"I'm sorry," She smiled. "What were you going to ask? If I wanted Simon or Ghost to put me in my place?" 

"Such a good mind reader, love." He smirked. 

"I knew it," She hummed. "I think Simon gets minorly rough, but Ghost? Fuck, I'm in for it." 

"Well?" He arched his brow. 

"I think Ghost can handle putting me in my place," She giggled, thoroughly excited for it. "Simon wants to, but I know he'll feel bad." She continued, talking to him in third person. 

"What makes you think that?" 

"Just an assumption, babe." 

He breathed a chuckle, "Well, if that's what you want, I'll gladly comply." 

"I want you to do what you want to me." She said sternly, a gleam of confidence in her eyes at the desire he made her fantasize about. With him, she had managed to void the haunting and traumatizing thoughts of what had happened to her in her past as well as after the hijacking and hostage situation in Urzikstan. She trusted Simon with her entire life - multiple times over if she could. 

Simon knew he couldn't do everything he wanted when it came to playing rough, sincerely wanting to avoid making her uncomfortable or hurting her in any way, especially where he knew she was still mentally recovering from the trauma she and many other women endured during their time held hostage. A part of him felt that she was asking him to be rough with her as a way of healing - a way of trusting him with her body as she knew he would never take advantage of her in any way. 

Especially intimately. 

"In that case, have you thought about a safe word yet?" He spoke lowly into her ear, satisfied at feeling her shiver under him by his words alone. 

She shook her head and licked her lips out of nervousness. 

"How about red? You can remember red, right?" He snickered, watching her nod in agreement. "Good girl. Give me your hands." He continued, watching her do as she was told while he moved his body to stand at the edge of the bed, bringing her up by her hands and moving them to where her palms pressed against his stomach. "Keep them there." 

She nodded, breathing in excitement as she watched him remove his belt and gently twisting it to where it secured her wrists together while her palms still pressed against the hard muscle of his abdomen, her eyes widening with lust when his right hand clasped gently against her neck, forcing her gaze to peer up at him, seeing Simon's eyes darkening at the sight of her doe eyes staring up at him. He studied her face for any discomfort before continuing, keeping a prominent note of her body language before he did anything else. Seeing that she was rather excited instead of uncomfortable, he reached down to tuck at the silk belt that kept her robe clasped shut, untying it with one hand and releasing it from the loops on the robe that kept the belt in place, breathing heavily as its front clung to her breasts, revealing only to him those two perfect mounds that drove him wild at the sight alone. 

Running the pad of his thumb against her bottom lip, he then used both of his hands to slowly and gently place the silk belt around her eyes, tying it together at the crown of her head before his hands cupped her face, "This is only the beginning, love."  

"Is it crazy how I was expecting you to push me down on this bed and gut me from the inside?" She giggled. "I was kind of excited for that." 

"You need to walk before you run, sweetheart. You have a long night ahead of you." 

Her breath hitched at his proposal as her tongue slipped from her mouth to nervously lick her bottom lip. "I look forward to it." 

"Such a cocky little minx, yeah?" He chuckled, watching her nod in agreement as well as growing immensely excited at his mild degrading. "On your knees." 

"Okay-" she said nervously.

"It's not okay," Simon warned, arching his brow. 

She giggled, "Yes, sir." 

"Good girl," He praised, gently grasping her upper arm as he helped her move into position, looking down at her while she willingly sat on her heels and kept her bound wrists in her lap. She heard the zipper on his jeans move as well as felt his presence step closer to her, feeling the tip of his cock press against her lips. She couldn't help but pucker her lips against his aching head, tasting the semi-sweet taste of his precum flood her desire even more. "Open your mouth," He breathed, grasping her hair and moving her head back. "Flatten your tongue." 

He shivered while he watched the head of his cock disappear between her teeth, feeling the roof of her mouth with his sensitive tip, gently pushing forward only to feel her throat constrict briefly as well as her body's natural instinct to pull away, except the grip from Simon's hand on her head prevented her from doing so. "What's wrong, love? Too big for you?" He mocked, watching the corners of her mouth curl into an exciting smirk. "Don't worry, sweetheart. You can take it. Open wider." He directed, using his other hand to clasp the bottom of her jaw, the pad of his thumb against her chin as she relaxed against his touch, flattening her tongue under his cock and his tip protruding past the tight muscle of her throat. "Your tongue is bloody perfect," He growled. "All fucking mine." 

Slowly, he began moving her head against his cock, keeping a sharp eye on her for any trace of discomfort as he truly didn't want to ruin this type of play for her, letting her take it at her own pace, except Simon saw himself as coaching her through it instead of forcing her. She moaned against his length, the vibrations from her mouth making his cock twitch. Simon couldn't help but lean his head back at the sensation from her perfect mouth, letting her take her time with pleasing him with her tongue. He soon felt her hands pressing against his thighs. Looking down, he had realized that she had released her hands from the restraint of the belt he had loosely tied around her wrists - only loosely tying them for her own good as triggering a stress habit was the most of his worries when it came to this type of intimate encounter with her. Once Kiera had realized he saw she pulled her hands free, her lips curled into a smirk before she heard him speak, "Looks like I'll have to tighten that up, yeah?" 

He let her pull her head away from his cock, tilting her head up as if she were looking at him, although Simon perfectly pictured those perfect hazel eyes through the silk of the makeshift blindfold, "More like you have to work on your binding skills. You made it too easy, babe." 

"You have a knack for talking your shite, love." He scoffed. 

"What're you going to do about it?" Her brow arched. 

"I got something to shut that mouth up," He growled lowly, cupping the crown of her skull and returning his cock into her mouth, feeling her giggle against him before her throat seemed to relax against his length, welcoming him in further down against her tongue. "Much better." 

The next several minutes were pure bliss for him as she managed to twist her tongue perfectly against the bottom of his shaft as well as applying the right amount of suction by hollowing her cheeks. Using the grip he had on her hair to move her head against him, he stilled after a few minutes, filling her mouth with his hot spend before pulling her head back by her hair, "Open your mouth," He directed, groaning as he watched her do as she was told. "Swallow it." 

She swallowed without a second thought, licking her lips clean before he helped her to her feet by gently grasping her neck while letting her hands clasp against his forearms for support before he slowly pushed her down onto the bed with his body, smirking at how the robe completely revealed her body for him. "Look at you," He breathed. "You were fucking ready for me when I got back." 

"How could I not?" She giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck only for him to pin her hands by her head. 

"I haven't given you permission to touch me yet," He warned. "And by the way, although you are completely stunning in this, it's going to be a shame that it'll be unable to wear again after I'm done." 

"Lace doesn't rip so easily, Simon..." She giggled, moaning once his lips came in contact with her neck just below her ear. 

"Probably not, but I know it cuts rather easily." 

She shivered at his words, relaxing against his touch as his right hand delicately traced along the smooth skin of her leg and up her thigh, tracing up against her side and gently cupping her left breast. She couldn't help but wrap her legs around his waist and pull him closer to her, feeling his semi-hard cock against her hot core, begging him to stretch her around him. "Not so fast, love," He groaned. "You haven't earned it yet." 

"I think I've earned it since you put a ring on my finger." She giggled. 

"Oh, I've been all yours since before I did that," He smirked. "As for right now, you haven't earned it yet for teasing me all day." 

"Silly me." She poked, smiling when she felt his left hand clasp her wrists together. 

"Don't move," He said, leaving the bed to retrieve his belt that she left on the floor before walking around to the side of the bed to grasp her wrists and bind them back together and buckling the belt around the headboard. "Be careful when you try to pull yourself out of these this time. They'll bite." 

"So do I." She giggled. 

He huffed, "Well, sink those pretty teeth into me all you like, sweetheart."

She shivered when she felt his presence grow distant from her. Not being able to see him due to the makeshift blindfold, she grew slightly nervous when she realized he had briefly exited the room, returning after a couple of minutes and feeling his presence next to the bed. "Nervous?" He chuckled, grasping a chunk of ice from the glass he brought with him. 

"No." She shook her head.

"Good. Last thing I want is for you to feel like you should be nervous around me." 

She licked her lips, feeling his lips coming close to hers and willingly welcoming his kiss, shuttering at the taste of wine filling her mouth. She gasped after she swallowed, feeling his lips making a trail of their own against her neck, between her breasts, and down to her abdomen, the ice between his teeth leaving a cold trail against her skin. She couldn't help but pull at her restraints when she felt his hot breath fanning over her core, feeling the tip of his nose against her lace underwear, anticipating the sensation of his lips surrounding her clit. Unaware that his eyes were locked on her from between her legs, she gasped when she felt the tip of his tongue dance against her aching clit against the lace fabric of her underwear. She moaned at the sensation, desperately pulling at her restraints to lock her fingers through his hair, but she had no luck. 

With a smirk, he curled his index finger around her underwear, feeling her anticipation against his finger, chuckling at how she arched her hips against his touch, desperate for friction to satisfy herself. "The more you keep begging for it, the longer I'm going to tease you." He warned. 

She groaned, "Please, I need you!" 

"Such an impatient minx you are. You'll be lucky to just get the tip." 

Huffing, she relaxed against him, knowing he was going to continue teasing her with just the tip of his tongue, assuming that he enjoyed giving her this sexual torture by how he fanned his breath over her clit and only kissing around her vulva and against her labia, purposely not giving any attention to the areas she desperately wanted touched the most. He moved her leg to where it rested against his shoulder, using the leverage to her advantage to move her hips upward against his mouth, giggling when he snaked his arm above her waist to pin her back down on the bed. "Pushing your luck, sweetheart." 

"Worth it." 

He shook his head against her thigh, barely coaxing his index finger past her folds and curling upwards, finding the spongy material of her g-spot. "I knew you'd let me have it." She teased, her smirk fading once he pulled his finger away and out of her. 

"What was that?" He arched his brow, moving the fabric of her underwear back over her core and leaning up to bring his soaked index finger towards her mouth, satisfied that she willingly accepted by letting his finger enter between her lips. "Lick it clean." He ordered. Do I always taste this sweet? She wondered. 

He pressed the weight of his hips between her legs, feeling her moan at the sensation as his aching head was only centimeters away from her core, knowing that he'd be able to effortlessly slip in if he kept gently rolling his hips against her. 

He let her roll her hips into him while he kissed her neck with pure excitement, unable to refrain a groan of his own when he felt the head of his cock slipping towards her core with every roll of his hips, the fabric of her lace underwear moving to the side with every roll. 

Eventually, the head of his cock slid in slowly, feeling her wince in his ear at the welcoming stretch his length always gave her. She couldn't help but wrap her legs around his waist and squeeze, desperate to pull him fully into her. "Not so fast," He groaned. "Just the tip, love." 

She huffed in frustration, continuing to squeeze her legs around him anyway just for him to clamp his hand around her neck - a warning. "You know you want to." She begged, licking her lips. 

He smirked against her neck before his lips found their way to hers and forcing his hips to stop, "I want to fuck you absolutely blind, love." 

"Then do it." 

"Careful what you wish for." He grumbled against her lips, pulling away to sit back on his knees, grasping her hips and forcefully turning her over to where she was bent over in doggystyle. He removed his pocketknife and cut the lace underwear from her hips and tossed them to the side. When he felt her lean back towards him, he couldn't help but swat her ass harshly before he lined himself up with her entrance, waiting a few moments to give him another reason to spank her again. 

She licked her lips with excitement, leaning her rear towards him again just to feel him slap her ass again, "Am I making you angry, sir?" She giggled. 

"Not in the slightest," He grumbled, grasping both of her cheeks with his massive hands, holding her still before he slowly entered her, forcing himself to hold back just how rough he could get until she took him with ease, knowing the stretch he always gave her could be uncomfortable, no matter how many times he had gotten rough before. She gasped at the sensation, naturally arching her back while her walls couldn't help but constrict around him. He nearly lost himself right then and there, but he refrained. "Fucking hell, love." He grumbled. 

"What?" 

"Always so fucking tight for me." He winced, squeezing her ass in his hands while he began to thrust slowly for a few strokes, knowing she was purposely squeezing her walls against him to test his patience for a desired release. 

Once he felt her relax against him, his thrusts began to grow into rough strokes, bottoming out every time as he swore he could feel her cervix. Her moans were loud and quick, making Simon wonder if he was hurting her with the force of his powerful hips, but when he saw that she was equally as excited, he continued. 

Soon, his hands trailed along her scarred back before stopping at her shoulders - his left hand grasping her hair at their roots while the other clamped down on her shoulder, holding her still while he continued rutting ruthlessly into her, that same hand that clamped on her shoulder reaching up to cover her mouth, "Can't be making too much noise, love," He breathed into her ear. She moaned into his palm, pressing her lips against him before his fingers curled into her mouth, groaning when he felt her suck his fingers while he continued to thrust. "Get those fingers nice and wet for me, sweetheart." 

She moaned in reply when she felt him still briefly, letting go of her hair and removing his fingers from her mouth, her body tensing when she felt his index and middle finger trailing the column of her back and stopping at her ass. She then knew what he meant by getting his fingers wet. In truth, she was scared of letting him enter her there as she had never done it willingly before as well as it being something that was ruined for her by her assailants, but she forced herself to trust him and take it as something that she could grow to enjoy as she knew that Simon wouldn't take advantage of her like that. 

With that thought, she began to grow excited for the new sensation. 

A small gasp left her lips when she felt his index finger slowly enter her anus, adjusting to the sensation. "You alright, love?" 

She nodded, relaxing her body against him as he pressed his finger further into her while his cock was still and buried between her slick walls. "Fuck," He winced, excited to enter her there as it was tight against his finger as well as feeling her walls tighten against his cock. "Do you want me to fuck you here?" 

"Yes, sir." She nodded, licking her lips, hoping Simon wouldn't recognize the nervous strain of her voice. 

But he noticed.

That's why he used his fingers. 

If he were honest, he didn't want to because he knew that it could trigger a stress response from what happened in Urzikstan, but he had remembered that it was the subject of conversation between them at some point when she wanted to talk about having sex again as well as having anal sex with him to help her mentally heal from the experience and wanting to enjoy it. Only with him:

»»-------¤-------««

"Simon, can I ask you something?" She asked with her head against his chest, the couple having one of many nights where they both couldn't sleep. 

"Anything, love." 

"When we... have sex again, I-I think I want to try something." 

"What did you have in mind?" 

"Um, I've never willingly had, you know, ana-"

"Don't force yourself to do it, love. I don't want to put that pressure on you." 

"No, I want to... eventually, but after what happened... I'm afraid I'll ruin it for you."

"You won't ruin anything for me," He assured her, rubbing his thumb against her shoulder while pulling her closer against him. "I won't do anything without asking you first. You know that." 

"I-I know, but I want to enjoy that at some point, but it hurts." 

He knew what she was talking about when she implied it. 

"Don't force yourself to talk about it," He breathed. "When you're ready." 

"I think I'm ready for it, but I don't know how to enjoy it without being reminded of what happened." 

"How about this: I'll start with a finger and if you don't want to, I'll stop," He suggested. "I don't want to do anything you're not ready for, love." 

She nodded, "I trust you, Simon. With my life and my body. I know you wouldn't just outright do it without bringing it up to me." 

"I never would."

»»-------¤-------««

"Remember to use your words with me, love." He reminded her, hoping that she was truly ready for it as it was a big step for her as well as overcoming her trauma. 

"Just go slow, babe." 

He nodded, removing himself from her and moving his body to where he could reach her nightstand, removing the silicone rabbit vibrator and a bottle of lube from the drawer, deciding to use the vibrator and dildo combo for her own pleasure and the lube for easier penetration when he entered her there. He turned the dildo on its lowest vibration setting, replacing his cock with the toy as the vibrator nestled against her clit, causing her to moan at the sensation, Kiera mentally thanking him for the distraction while she felt the cold sensation of the lubricant against her rectum. 

She couldn't help but wince when she felt his shaft slide between her ass, spreading the lubricant all over his cock before he rested the tip against her anus, pressing slightly while keeping a sharp eye on her face, willing to stop if he felt she was uncomfortable. "Ready?" 

She nodded, waiting for the sharp pain of him entering when it was rather enjoyable. Slowly, he managed to squeeze the head of his cock into her with slow, even pressure, stopping once he entered just the tip, "Are you okay, love?" 

She nodded again. 

"Use your words, sweetheart." 

"Yes, Simon." 

"Good girl. Just relax, the hardest part is almost over." He assured her, pressing in just a bit more before feeling her body tense against him again, her jaw agape as she moaned. Once fully inside, he held himself still as he let her body adjust to the new sensation. "How does it feel?" 

"Good," She breathed. "It kind of hurts..." 

"Do you want me to stop?" 

"N-No." 

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. 

"Words, love." He reminded her, his voice soft and patient as his thumbs rubbed circles against her ass. He couldn't be rough with his words like earlier - he knew this would be a hard obstacle for her to hurdle over.

And he wasn't going to continue being rough when he knew this, even when she said she wanted him to be rough in the very beginning. For her sake, he wasn't going to do it even when she said so.

"Yes." 

"Remember to tell me if I need to stop." 

"I will, Simon." 

He nodded to himself when he felt her body relax around him, reaching down to increase the vibration on the dildo before beginning to thrust himself slowly into her. He couldn't lie, it felt great for him and he hoped she felt the same amount of pleasure as he did, especially with the combination of a penetrative toy and vibrator against her so she could chase her own high while he did. 

He watched her grip on the pillows tighten with every thrust, careful to not snap his hips into her like he did before, ensuring to himself that she was enjoying it more than him, watching her mouth open to release a moan every time he fully sheathed himself inside of her. Her walls tightened around the toy, feeling her stomach tighten as the tidal wave of her orgasm was on the horizon, concentrating on the new sensation to help her achieve her release, forcing herself to focus on Simon and not what happened to her as a part of her didn't want to ruin the new position for him. Judging by his groans, he was growing close to his release as well, his goal of achieving his release with her always in his mind. "How are you feeling?" He asked lowly. 

"Good," She breathed. "Harder." 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes!" 

His thrusting began to pick up pace, increasing the sensation for the pair of them as the toy moved further up into her vagina every time his thighs met the back of hers, her body began to rock against him as the vibrations against her clit began to draw her orgasm closer and closer. Soon, she could barely even remember how painful it was when he first entered her, knowing that her body fully relaxed as she took his length with more excitement than fear. Her body began to tremble as her orgasm took over her, feeling him still as he found his own release, keeping himself sheathed inside of her as his hands moved against her back when she propped herself up. She turned her head, her lips meeting his while his other hand slid the makeshift blindfold from her eyes. "There you are." He smirked, searching her eyes for any trace of discomfort. 

She hummed, kissing him again before pressing her chest against the pillows, her arms weak from holding herself up and enjoying the sensation of Simon's warm palms tracing down her back and reaching down to slowly remove the toy from her folds, tossing it to the side before he slowly started to remove his cock from her rectum. "Relax," He spoke. "It may feel uncomfortable." 

His eyes never left her face as he pulled himself out slowly, watching her body relax once he was fully out as well as a sigh leaving her lips. He leant down to press a kiss to her temple before releasing her wrists from the belt keeping them against the headboard, "Let's go shower before going to bed, yeah?" 

"Okay," She giggled. "What time is it?" 

"Almost five." 

"Jesus! I'm glad we don't have much to do later." 

"I told you that you were going to have a long night ahead of you." He chuckled. 

"Yeah, you weren't lying." 

"I mean, I can go a few more rounds..." 

"Maybe another day!" She giggled. 

"You're right, we'll save that for the honeymoon." 

[d-emeter]

I LOVEEE UR WORK SM, I first saw ur like cod characters and their fave lingerie thing and I couldn't stop thinking about it omg it was so well done ur blog makes my brain all fuzzy n AAAAAA!!!! ure so amazing omg!!! <3

I don't have a specific thing but I'd LOOVEEEE some rudy content cuz omg he's so underrated <3 do wtv u please with that!!!! Like I think ure so creative so wtv u do with rudy is gonna be so so PERFECCTTT <3

Take care of urself n keep being so lovely n awesome n amazing <3<3<3<3

this ask is making my brain go fuzzy anon🥹 no but you're SO right rudy is highly underrated and i adore him

so first thing that came to mind was this twitter (?) thread with this exact scenario happening but i couldn't find the exact post anymore apologies.

Love goes through the stomach (or: you compliment Rudy's (mom's) cooking) — plus-size!fem!reader x construction worker!Rodolfo 'Rudy' Parra

CW: mama parra playing matchmaker, accidental catcalling?, google translated spanish lol

Who knew a smell could bother you so much? Well, maybe bother isn't the right word to use. No, it wasn't the smell itself that bothered you so much as the fact that you could not, for the life of you, find its source.

For the past week or so, every noon, like clockwork, the most divine scent filled your apartment and notified you of your empty stomach. Your remote job allowed you to take your lunchbreak whenever, so the first time it happened, you simply scoured your pantry for something that would qualify as lunch. It stilled your hunger, sure, but it did little to satisfy the craving for whatever mystery food you were smelling.

You had tried everything. You had scoured the takeaway app, ordering from different cuisines only to be disappointed. You had looked up recipes online with what you hoped had similar ingredients, to no avail. God, you had even stood in the spice isle of the grocery store, sniffing different pots and satchels. You were just about ready to give up your search, to accept that your mystery would remain just that; a mystery. That is, until you're on your way home from your latest grocery store expedition and walk past the construction site next to your building. You damn near freeze when you smell it — you check the time on your phone just to check, and, sure enough, it's noon. Nearly on the dot.

Your eyes scan the fenced-in site, a group of construction workers sitting idly by while eating their lunch. You're able to eliminate most of them, the ones eating simple sandwiches and drinking from soda bottles. Your target is quickly located — the man with the aluminium bundle in his hands, happily chomping away while conversing with his coworkers.

"Hey! You! Mister!"

You're all but smushed up against the iron fence, watching as all heads turn to you. You keep your eyes steadfast on the dark-haired man in the middle of them. He points a hesitant finger towards himself, questioning if it's him you're referring to.

"Yes, you! Get over here!"

With wide eyes and a growing blush on his face, Rudy rewraps the aluminium and wipes his hands on his cargo pants before making his way to you. He tries his best to ignore the grin Alejandro gives him, holding back the urge to kick him when he wolf-whistles. Unfortunately, his best friend was well aware of the stupid little crush he had grown on the pretty lady walking past every day. The same pretty lady that was now hollering on the other side of the fence. He clears his throat, trying to keep himself from looking too awkward when he reaches you.

"Can I, uh, can I help you, señorita?"

You falter a bit when he comes closer, slightly embarrassed at your outburst and a little taken aback at the realization that this man is really hot.

"Uh, yeah, I'm sorry, just- Look, this is going to sound weird, but I live in this building and I think I've been smelling your lunch and I need to know what it is, because I've been trying to figure it out and it smells so good."

It takes a second for Rudy to respond, of all the things he had expected you to say, this was not one of them. With a slightly perplexed grin, he unwraps the aluminium again to reveal his lunch to you.

"Oh, it's, uh, a burrito. My mami makes them. I'd love to tell you what's in it, but she won't even tell me. Her, uh, secret recipe." He manages out with what he hopes is a charming laugh. He can see the clear disappointment on your face, and he would have offered you some if he hadn't already eaten most of it, and he doubts you'd be very charmed by the butt of a burrito with bites taken out of it.

"Ah, dang, I was hoping it was some takeout I hadn't tried yet. Anyway, again, sorry for bothering you. Tell your mom her burritos smell great!" With that you're off again, leaving Rudy to stare after you with his half-eaten lunch in his hand. When he returns to the group, he actually does kick Alejandro when he wiggles his eyebrows.

—

You walk past the construction site again the next day. It's not necessarily on purpose that you do so around noon, but catching a whiff of the unattainable burrito again was not something you were against, even if you couldn't actually taste it yourself. You're snapped out of your burrito-induced daydream when you hear a sharp whistle. Your head snaps towards the source of the sound, an offended look on your face at the fact you seriously just got catcalled, only to come face to face with the construction worker from yesterday.

When Rudy sees your eyebrows scrunch in anger, he realizes his way of gaining your attention was maybe not the smartest thing he'd ever done, and he quickly scrambles to apologize.

"Oh, dios mio, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean- I'm sorry. Here, I-"

He hands you a bundle wrapped in aluminium foil through the gaps of the fence, hoping to God you wouldn't notice how hot his face was getting. Your eyes widen with recognition as you accept the gift.

"Oh my gosh, is this-?"

"I told my mami you complimented her cooking, and she, uh, she insisted she make you one, too. So, here." He cuts you off, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck, occasionally bumping against the edge of his hard hat.

"Thank you so much! Ugh, let her know I'm going to enjoy every bite of this!" It's almost a groan of pleasure, one that leaves Rudy more flustered than he'd like.

"Ye-yeah, will do-" You're off before he can manage to string his words together enough to ask for your number, leaving him to watch after you once again.

—

The moment you step through your front door, you unwrap the aluminium foil, groaning to yourself again as the heavenly scent fills your nostrils. Dropping your bag down, you sit at your table to really, thoroughly enjoy this experience, when you notice a white napkin poking from the wrapping. Pulling it out, you realize there's something written on it.

'Mi hijo es soltero y muy guapo. Dile a Rudy que te lleve a casa y te enseñaré la receta.'

Below that, a phone number.

translation: 'My son is single and very handsome. Tell Rudy to bring you home and I will teach you the recipe.'

[greenerteacups]

oooh please someday tell us what you think of GOT

oh, no, it's my fatal weakness! it's [checks notes] literally just the bare modicum of temptation! okay you got me.

SO. in order to tell what's wrong with game of thrones you kind of have to have read the books, because the books are the reason the show goes off the rails. i actually blame the showrunners relatively little in proportion to GRRM for how bad the show was (which I'm not gonna rehash here because if you're interested in GOT in any capacity you've already seen that horse flogged to death). people debate when GOT "got bad" in terms of writing, but regardless of when you think it dropped off, everyone agrees the quality declined sharply in season 8, and to a certain extent, season 7. these are the seasons that are more or less entirely spun from whole cloth, because season 7 marks the beginning of what will, if we ever see it, be the Winds of Winter storyline. it's the first part that isn't based on a book by George R.R. Martin. it's said that he gave the showrunners plot outlines, but we don't know how detailed they were, or how much the writers diverged from the blueprint — and honestly, considering the cumulative changes made to the story by that point, some stark divergence would have been required. (there's a reason for this. i'll get there in a sec.)

so far, i'm not saying anything all that original. a lot of people recognized how bad the show got as soon as they ran out of Book to adapt. (I think it's kind of weird that they agreed to make a show about an unfinished series in the first place — did GRRM figure that this was his one shot at a really good HBO adaptation, and forego misgivings about his ability to write two full books in however many years it took to adapt? did he think they would wait for him? did he not care that the series would eventually spoil his magnum opus, which he's spent the last three decades of his life writing? perplexing.) but the more interesting question is why the show got bad once it ran out of Book, because in my mind, that's not a given. a lot of great shows depart from the books they were based on. fanfiction does exactly that, all the time! if you have good writers who understand the characters they're working with, departure means a different story, not a worse one. now, the natural reply would be to say that the writers of GOT just aren't good, or at least aren't good at the things that make for great television, and that's why they needed the books as a structure, but I don't think that's true or fair, either. books and television are very different things. the pacing of a book is totally different from the pacing of a television show, and even an episodic book like ASOIAF is going to need a lot of work before it's remotely watchable as a series. bad writers cannot make great series of television, regardless of how good their source material is. sure, they didn't invent the characters of tyrion lannister and daenerys targaryen, but they sure as hell understood story structure well enough to write a damn compelling season of TV about them!

so but then: what gives? i actually do think it's a problem with the books! the show starts out as very faithful to the early books (namely, A Game of Thrones and A Clash of Kings) to the point that most plotlines are copied beat-for-beat. the story is constructed a little differently, and it's definitely condensed, but the meat is still there. and not surprisingly, the early books in ASOIAF are very tightly written. for how long they are, you wouldn't expect it, but on every page of those books, the plot is racing. you can practically watch george trying to beat the fucking clock. and he does! useful context here is that he originally thought GOT was going to be a trilogy, and so the scope of most threads in the first book or two would have been much smaller. it also helps that the first three books are in some respects self-contained stories. the first book is a mystery, the second and third are espionage and war dramas — and they're kept tight in order to serve those respective plots.

the trouble begins with A Feast for Crows, and arguably A Storm of Swords, because GRRM starts multiplying plotlines and treating the series as a story, rather than each individual book. he also massively underestimated the number of pages it would take him to get through certain plot beats — an assumption whose foundation is unclear, because from a reader's standpoint, there is a fucke tonne of shit in Feast and Dance that's spurious. I'm not talking about Brienne's Riverlands storyline (which I adore thematically but speaking honestly should have been its own novella, not a part of Feast proper). I'm talking about whole chapters where Tyrion is sitting on his ass in the river, just talking to people. (will I eat crow about this if these pay off in hugely satisfying ways in Winds or Dream? oh, totally. my brothers, i will gorge myself on sweet sweet corvid. i will wear a dunce cap in the square, and gleefully, if these turn out to not have been wastes of time. the fact that i am writing this means i am willing to stake a non-negligible amount of pride on the prediction that that will not happen). I'm talking about scenes where the characters stare at each other and talk idly about things that have already happened while the author describes things we already have seen in excruciating detail. i'm talking about threads that, while forgivable in a different novel, are unforgivable in this one, because you are neglecting your main characters and their story. and don't tell me you think that a day-by-day account tyrion's river cruise is necessary to telling his story, because in the count of monte cristo, the main guy disappears for nine years and comes hurtling back into the story as a vengeful aristocrat! and while time jumps like that don't work for everything, they certainly do work if what you're talking about isn't a major story thread!

now put aside whether or not all these meandering, unconcluded threads are enjoyable to read (as, in fairness, they often are!). think about them as if you're a tv showrunner. these bad boys are your worst nightmare. because while you know the author put them in for a reason, you haven't read the conclusion to the arc, so you don't know what that reason is. and even if the author tells you in broad strokes how things are going to end for any particular character (and this is a big "if," because GRRM's whole style is that he lets plots "develop as he goes," so I'm not actually convinced that he does have endings written out for most major characters), that still doesn't help you get them from point A (meandering storyline) to point B (actual conclusion). oh, and by the way, you have under a year to write this full season of television, while GRRM has been thinking about how to end the books for at least 10. all of this means you have to basically call an audible on whether or not certain arcs are going to pay off, and, if they are, whether they make for good television, and hence are worth writing. and you have to do that for every. single. unfinished. story. in the books.

here's an example: in the books, Quentin Martell goes on a quest to marry Daenerys and gain a dragon. many chapters are spent detailing this quest. spoiler alert: he fails, and he gets charbroiled by dragons. GRRM includes this plot to set up the actions of House Martell in Winds, but the problem is that we don't know what House Martell does in Winds, because (see above) the book DNE. So, although we can reliably bet that the showrunners understand (1) Daenerys is coming to Westeros with her 3 fantasy nukes, and (2) at some point they're gonna have to deal with the invasion of frozombies from Canada, that DOESN'T mean they necessarily know exactly what's going to happen to Dorne, or House Martell. i mean, fuck! we don't even know if Martin knows what's going to happen to Dorne or House Martell, because he's said he's the kind of writer who doesn't set shit out beforehand! so for every "Cersei defaults on millions of dragons in loans from the notorious Bank of Nobody Fucks With Us, assumes this will have no repercussions for her reign or Westerosi politics in general" plotline — which might as well have a big glaring THIS WILL BE IMPORTANT stamp on top of the chapter heading — you have Arianne Martell trying to do a coup/parent trap switcheroo with Myrcella, or Euron the Goffick Antichrist, or Faegon Targaryen and JonCon preparing a Blackfyre restoration, or anything else that might pan out — but might not! And while that uncertainty about what's important to the "overall story" might be a realistic way of depicting human beings in a world ruled by chance and not Destiny, it makes for much better reading than viewing, because Game of Thrones as a fantasy television series was based on the first three books, which are much more traditional "there is a plot and main characters and you can generally tell who they are" kind of book. I see Feast and Dance as a kind of soft reboot for the series in this respect, because they recenter the story around a much larger cast and cast a much broader net in terms of which characters "deserve" narrative attention.

but if you're making a season of television, you can't do that, because you've already set up the basic premise and pacing of your story, and you can't suddenly pivot into a long-form tone poem about the horrors of war. so you have to cut something. but what are you gonna cut? bear in mind that you can't just Forget About Dorne, or the Iron Islands, or the Vale, or the North, or pretty much any region of the story, because it's all interconnected, but to fit in everything from the books would require pacing of the sort that no reasonable audience would ever tolerate. and bear in mind that the later books sprout a lot more of these baby-plots that could go somewhere, but also might end up being secondary or tertiary to the "main story," which, at the end of the day, is about dragons and ice zombies and the rot at the heart of the feudal power system glorified in classical fantasy. that's the story that you as the showrunner absolutely must give them an end to, and that's the story that should be your priority 1.

so you do a hack and slash job, and you mortar over whatever you cut out with storylines that you cook up yourself, but you can't go too far afield, because you still need all the characters more or less in place for the final showdown. so you pinch here and push credulity there, and you do your best to put the characters in more or less the same place they would have been if you kept the original, but on a shorter timeframe. and is it as good as the first seasons? of course not! because the material that you have is not suited to TV like the first seasons are. and not only that, but you are now working with source material that is actively fighting your attempt to constrain a linear and well-paced narrative on it. the text that you're working with changed structure when you weren't looking, and now you have to find some way to shanghai this new sprawling behemoth of a Thing into a television show. oh, and by the way, don't think that the (living) author of the source material will be any help with this, because even though he's got years of experience working in television writing, he doesn't actually know how all of these threads will tie together, which is possibly the reason that the next book has taken over 8 years (now 13 and counting) to write. oh and also, your showrunners are sick of this (in fairness, very difficult) job and they want to go write for star wars instead, so they've refused the extra time the studio offered them for pre-production and pushed through a bunch of first-draft scripts, creating a crunch culture of the type that spawns entirely avoidable mistakes, like, say, some poor set designer leaving a starbucks cup in frame.

anyway, that's what I think went wrong with game of thrones.

[lupins-hehim-pussy]

I wanna know ur Fontaine msq criticisms 👁️👁️👂I’m all ears

I'm not sure if you wanted me to talk about this secretly or publicly but! Here I go!

The TLDR: Fontaine MSQ aestheticised prison, poverty, child abuse, the justice system/court and didn't properly address any of it.

More:

Focalors/Furina has way too much of a sympathetic angle for a dictator who's lets people drown with her inaction.

Neuvillette feels Bad for sentencing some people to death/prison, but that's it. He's one of the most powerful people in Fontaine. If he felt like there are systemic injustices, I.E sending an abused Child to prison, he should be the first person to DO something about it, not just cry and be sad so the audience can be like aw, that's complex character writing isn't it? No it's not! And guilt doesn't absolve you!!!!!!! (These are stuff we deal with in OTCOJ read my fic now /j)

Meropide has children in it, both Sentenced there (Wriothesley) and BORN THERE (Lanoire), and this is just a quirk of the place. Not only that, Meropide accepts prisoners of all genders and crimes. There are abusers and abuse victims in one place. Do you know how bad that is? How much potential for crimes to happen in a place like that— oh wait, Meropide isn't under Fontaine's jurisdiction. If you are assaulted as an inmate it literally means nothing to the court.

Wriothesley had no qualifications when he took over. Depending on how long he lived on the streets, how old he was when he killed his parents, how old he was when he was first taken in by the orphanage, etc, the man might never have more than 4–5 years of formal education. Sigewinne probably had to teach him how to write reports. And do Meropide's spreadsheets. Edit because I forgot to elaborate on this one: This isn't a point brought up anywhere, which is bad, because when poverty and incarceration robs you of a proper education (and the rights to vote in many places too, too, by the way), it reduces your prospects for jobs, reduces many people's ability to get a home etc etc. Wriothesley was just, narratively, Given his position.

Meropide is an industrialized prison, and they portray this as a good thing. Prisoners are paid in coupons for their labour, and this is also portrayed as a good thing.

The One-Meal-A-Day reform was something Paimon gushed about being so great of a perk, that people might want to go to jail for food (could be interesting and reflective of systemic poverty if MHY had brains, but they don't, so I was just Pissed because essentially all Paimon wanted to say was "Prison isn't so bad, but still don't go to prison guys! Prison labour is really hard!"). By the way, in most real-world prisons they are obligated to feed you three meals a day. Because that's how much food a human needs. MHY went with one meal just so they can say "if you want to eat more, you have to work." And then the welfare meal is a goddamn gacha. So imagine you're a starving child who's too weak to work in the fucking robot assembly line, and you wander up for your first meal in 24 hours, only to luck in with a shit one. I'd kill myself.

They wrote Wriothesley, who's a victim of the system, into a guy who's say shit like "I'm the Duke I can do whatever I want" for a cool moment where he choke-slams an inmate (I know he was a bad guy. But also, in copaganda when cops are violent/disregarding protocols, they are always only portrayed to do that against bad guys, so what does our critical thinking tells us about this one?) They wrote Wriothesley, who was an inmate of a prison so bad, so notorious that it is the literal boogeyman of Fontaine, that has a legal (???) fighting pit, with an administrator who abuses his position to be unreasonable, to willingly stay in the place and become an Administrator who would choke-slam an inmate while saying a cool line about how he has the power to do whatever he wants. They wrote him, the guy who had to be fed on the streets by melusines, to think one-meal-a-day was a good enough reform (while he spends god-knows how much on his boat). This wasn't a victim-turns-into-abuser narrative either, they want all this to be seen as positive character growth.

And then, the final kicker is, they gloss over his entire abuse. You can only read about these shit in his profile, which most people don't because they don't Have Him or doesn't care to unlock it/read it online, and they jammed his entire backstory into a flaccid info-dump at the end of his character story quest. This man isn't Allowed to feel abused and neglected and show any reaction to it within the narrative of Fontaine itself, because if they actually Gave Weight to what happened to him, they'd have to confront THE FUCKING JUSTICE SYSTEM they had NO PLANS on criticising. I don't think they ever explicitly said the fucking Crime-Theatre nonsense was Bad either.

I could go on, but this is already so long. But yeah, I hope this gave you an idea.