#its not really 'mine' i just use it the most out of my family lol

[ink-the-artist]

what scanner do you use? I have a two-in-one printer + scanner that I got for cheap, but I would really like to get something more suited for artwork

I have an HP ENVY 4520 series, its also a printer and scanner and it works well enough but its not the best for art tbh. it works best for clean black line art, u can really tell its best at scanning printed documents. pretty much all the art in my posts where a scanner was used is edited bc it would look kinda shit otherwise lol. like as an example here's one of my illustrations before and after editing

id also def like to know if anyone has recommendations for a scanner that's good for artwork lol

[bridgetoesoteria]

💌💟Realistically...What would they write in a love letter to you?

Surpriseee bish! Here is my double post as puh-romised. Its spring break, I aced my midterm, I had a nice lil chit chat with my crush where I high key let on to having feelings . *ahem* Now I wanna smoke and pull cards with my internet besties <3

So, I don't like those mushy-gushy readings that tell you the most ideal outcome, not the most realistic outcome. I am hoping to channel an authentic "letter," from the person you are here for.

Options are left to right. I hope it resonates 🥰

Pile 1

4-card spread: Page of Swords, Girl w/ Violin, Strength, The Sun. BOTD: 3 of Swords

I just want to see you happy. I hope you know that. I miss the feeling of you holding me. I think about all the times, I got to hold your hands in mine. I think you are amazing and angelic. If I ever seem difficult, or like I am pushing you away, its just because I don't want to hurt you even worse. You're the whole package. You can shine with or without me.

If there is still bad blood, I will make it right. At least that's what I think about doing. All the time. Can I step up? Can I really have my happy ending; The car, the house, the family, building a life together. I need to get over my cold feet, because the only person I see is you.

P.S.

I love your eyes. I love how much hope I feel when I look into them. I love your hair, especially the length/thickness. I love how balanced you are, and how you can consider different points of view. It has taught me to be more compassionate. It has taught me to care about someone other than myself. You show me that I can get over my demons. We could be a power couple.

(If you have a "butt chin," your person loves this too lol)

Pile 2

4-card spread: 8 of Swords, 9 of Swords(R), 9 of Wands, The Star. BOTD: The Emperor

This person is definitely very attracted to you, but we are here for a love letter, mkay? Not a sext.

I don't know why you are acting like you don't want me anymore. You better not be giving away my ____ to anyone else. I want to be with you. I consider us to be a couple, no matter what happens. If you question where my head is at, my loyalty is with you. I don't want to see you with anyone else. I hate thinking about you being out there, living like you're single. I think about us having kids, animals, a family life. (If you already have kids they want to keep the family together).

I am working on my temptations. I know I need to be more responsible and I am willing to do that. I want to try having self-control. If that means cutting other people off, or waiting until you are comfortable being physical, I will do that. I respect your boundaries. You have every right to have them. I know you are just trying to love yourself. You should always stand your ground...even with me.

P.S.

You have a beautiful heart. You are so nurturing. You keep everything flowing. You completely fulfill me. You are more than enough. You definitely know what you are doing. I wouldn't have taken you for a "lady in the streets, freak in the sheets" type.

Right now, you probably are focusing on yourself. I hope you find the happiness that you are looking for. After pouring into everyone else so much, I hope you will start pouring into you now. I hope you will be receptive to all the good things you deserve.

Pile 3

4-card spread: Ace of Pentacles, 6 of Swords, Page of Cups, The Empress. BOTD: Justice

I can't figure you out. And its...amazing! It keeps everything so fresh. Maybe you don't feel like you are being mysterious but you are. I want to know what goes on "behind-the scene." I don't mean that in a pervy way. I mean, I want to know who you are, where you come from, what is currently going on in your life. I want to make the cut. Do you ever think about what your favorite diamond cut is? 💎

(Where ever your connection is, move up a step. This is not a literal proposal for everyone)

I want us to be on track. If I have to apologize, I will do that. I want to finally start something new. I want to make you feel like the king/queen that you are. I want us to be happy together. Especially if we are expecting 🤰

P.S.

Can I just brag on you really quick? I love your face shape. I love when we lock eyes. I love how you style your hair, even if I have never said so aloud. Even if I tease you about it sometimes. Its cute and so you. Everyone says we (would) go well together, and I have to agree. We could be our town's MGK and Megan Fox 🤣🤣

On a more serious point, you make me want to do better. Internally, I always feel challenged by you. I have my old beliefs, and then there's you. You make me want to throw out all the BS I believe about myself and start valuing myself more. I see how magical life can be, because I see how many miracles happen when we are together. I know I can do better.

Pile 4 4-card spread: 8 of Wands, 10 of Wands, The Emperor, 8 of Swords. BOTD: Ace of Swords.

(Your person could actually be the type to spill their feelings over texts or in the notes section of their phone)

I think about saying this all the time. I build up the courage to start typing, but I can never hit send. I just feel this lump in my throat. I'm a man! (or they are just someone who suppresses their emotions). I shouldn't have all these feelings. I feel overwhelmed by my attraction, my thoughts, my unexpressed feelings.

That's kind of what I grew up with. It was normal. People call it "traditional." I always thought (one of their parents, but I am really getting mom) could do better. Why are you still with them? I don't want that to be you. I don't want that to be our story. You always carry yourself well. I'm proud to be with you. I know you're a catch. I know you are the full package. I can't let you go. Please reconsider. I want to be with you.

P.S.

I hope you're getting rest. Don't lose sleep over me. Which is hypocritical, because I stay up thinking about you. Don't be scared...but I may have watched you sleep. I like how peaceful you look. I feel like I have privacy to fully process my emotions. I look at your face and I think about all the possibilities. It makes me nervous. If I have made a proposal of some kind, maybe to reconcile, I hope you sleep on it before you make a decision.

Pile 5 4-card spread: King of Cups, 4 of Swords, 9 of Wands, The Sun. BOTD: 8 of Swords

I think a lot of you are asking about a feminine energy, but flip the roles if needed. You could be the feminine energy being described, so maybe they want you to know you are "seen". It just started raining, so that makes me feel like this person is definitely more on the feminine side, or in touch with their emotions. You could both be young, or they're younger, or someone has a baby face.

I think about you all the time. Even when I am sad. I don't know if you know how much I struggle. My mental health isn't always in the best place. But you take my mind off of everything. I love when you look deep in thought. I come up with all these random ideas about what you could be thinking of. If you are away getting better, overcoming an ED, I hope you are being strong. I look forward to seeing you again.

You make me so happy. I miss being playful and messing with you. I could see us having babies. I think I would be a great mom/dad. But I know that's daydreaming and wishful thinking. I don't always understand your moods or what you want from me. Could you make it clear without it becoming an argument. I don't want to make you upset.

P.S.

You are soo pretty. I think your haircut really compliments your face. I love your side profile too. You are so smart. You know so much about the world around you or you are always willing to learn. I am impressed by your writing and/or creativity. I love everything about you. If I were an artist, I would make a portrait of you. You would be my muse. I just want you to know how special you are. You are 1 of 1 forreal. I am so grateful to have ever met you. You bring so much joy to my life.

Whew. GD! That was a lot lol. This took me two days. I am going to relax and enjoy the start of Spring Break. Whoop whoop 🙌

And don't laugh at me...but I just discovered archives so I might stop updating my masterlist, since you can find all my readings there too.

Lastly, I am also doing personals if you have not heard! Take a gander.

~ K

[offtorivendell]

Is an oily residue corrupting Azriel's hypothetical mating bond and making him feel off kilter? Is it related to Valg-type magic?

Disclaimer: this theory is a continuation of a few of my others that I've been too lazy to post until now - first I was going to post it for Elriel Month 2023, then Azriel Week 2023... it never happened - but like everyone else I'm having massive FOMO before HOFAS, so here we finally go, even though I know I've forgotten something lol. As usual, this makes no claims of being accurate, it's just theorising for fun.

A massive thank you goes out to @wingedblooms, @tswaney17, @silverlinedeyes, @psychologynerd, @ladynightcourt3, @cassianfanclub, and anyone else I've forgotten (sorry!) for all of our discussions that finally became this post. Love you guys. 💜

Spoilers: this is a Maasverse post, and draws from the ACOTAR series, CC 1 & 2/HOEAB & HOSAB, and the TOG series. It is CC 3/HOFAS spoiler free, as I'm waiting to read it in its "original English" 🤓 on the 30th of January. Please be respectful of that if engaging in the comments before it's published!

Plenty of people, including @silverlinedeyes, @icedflames and myself, have posted our thoughts on mating bonds in the Maasverse, and this theory builds on those previously established - though again, as yet hypothetical - ideas. Specifically, this post about the use of “oily” throughout the ACOTAR series is recommended reading.

What we do know is that:

Mating bonds contain threads, and so do spells.

Mates are the song/music of the soul, and their laughter is likened to music.

Different fae, and magics, contain different scents, be that personal or regional

First, let's go back to ACOWAR, when Feyre described the Ravens' entrance into the library as being like an off-kilter chord:

I felt it at the same moment she did. The ripple and tremor. Like … like some piece of the world shifted, like some off-kilter chord had been plucked. We turned toward the illuminated path that we’d just taken through the stacks, then to the dark far, far beyond. - ACOWAR, chapter 30

Initially, I had wondered if the King of Hybern had had Jurian use the Harp to infiltrate Velaris, but it was @merymoonbeam (I think) who theorised that the Cauldron might be mimicking the Harp, and maybe not doing the best job of it. Which made me wonder, could it do the same with mate bonds?

He left the rest unspoken. Because her mate was here, sleeping a level up. Because her mate had been in the family room and Azriel had needed to stay by the door the whole time because he couldn't stand the sight of it, the scent of their mating bond, and needed to have the option of leaving if it became too much. - ACOSF, Azriel's bonus chapter

Looking at her now … She was pale, yes. The vacancy still glazing her features. But he couldn’t breathe as she faced him fully. She was the most beautiful female he’d ever seen. Betrayal, queasy and oily, slid through his veins. He’d said the same to Jesminda once. But even as shame washed through him, the words, the sense chanted, Mine. You are mine, and I am yours. Mate. - ACOWAR, chapter 24

What if the Elucien bond, as either a spell or piss poor Cauldron-Made approximation of a bond, causes Azriel - and maybe Elain, possibly Lucien - nausea when Lucien is around because it's constantly changing, or reverberating over the top of, what remains of a hypothetical Elriel bond?

What if it's making the Elriel bond off-kilter, out of whack, imbalanced?

Does this make Azriel feel sick, nauseous, or simply overwhelmed/overstimulated?

When people are feeling off-balance, for whatever reason, they can feel sick or nauseous. It's one of the symptoms of vertigo, which can be triggered by severe headaches such as migraines. And guess who rubs their temples? Azriel!

Alternatively, certain chords played loudly enough on a string instrument can really mess with your chest - and where do mating bonds attach - if you're standing close enough for them to vibrate through you (at least, they do for me haha). It can be weirdly disconcerting, and I'd imagine that if Azriel or Elain feels something like this, no wonder he describes such severe discomfort that he needs to leave, and she shrinks away from Lucien, the unintentional cause of her pain.

Same with the smell; if the magic of the Cauldron, in whatever way, is messing with the smell that should be there? Contaminating it? Unbearable.

Is this too crack for you? Well, let's get even crazier.

I have previously suggested that the Cauldron's actions throughout the series could be tracked, in part, by SJM describing a feeling or quality as “oily,” and I've also wondered if the dark maker of the Cauldron - Koschei? - could have hijacked it in some way, as the Book of Breathings being made from leftover iron gave me “One Ring” vibes. I still stand by that, but with a clarification (and here is where the TOG and CC spoilers come in, FYI). I think it's only half of the magic belonging to the Cauldron that is "oily":

Throughout TOG, the Valg are heavily associated with “oiliness,” in terms of their blood and magic. The smell “reeks” and always results in the involved characters experiencing extreme revulsion, including headaches. Sound familiar?

Wyrdstone has an oily, hideous aftertaste.

Even in CC 1/HOEAB, Danika was described as oily when she came into Griffin Antiques.

Celaena looked at the sealed door, her stomach turning. A half-dried pool of blood lay at the base of the door, so dark it looked like oil. She crouched, swiping a finger through the puddle. She sniffed at it, almost gagged at the reek, and then rubbed her finger against the pad of her thumb. It felt as oily as it looked. - COM, chapter 45

“What the hell is that?” Rowan demanded, kneeling beside her, sniffing her outstretched hand. He jerked back, snarling. “That’s not dirt.” No, it wasn’t. It was blacker than night, and reeked just as badly as it had the first time she’d smelled it, in the catacombs beneath the library, an obsidian, oily pool of blood. Slightly different from that other, horrific smell that loitered around this place, but similar. So similar to— “This isn’t possible,” she said, jolting to her feet. “This—this—this—” She paced, if only to keep from shaking. “I’m wrong. I have to be wrong.” There had been so many cells in that forgotten dungeon beneath the library, beneath the king’s Wyrdstone clock tower. The creature she’d encountered there had possessed a human heart. It had been left, she’d suspected, because of some defect. What if … what if the perfected ones had been moved elsewhere? What if they were now … ready? - HOF, chapter 45

The overseer roared, thrashing as her magic swept into him, melded with him. But there was nothing inside to grab on to. No darkness to burn out, no remaining ember to breathe life into. Only— Aelin reeled back, magic vanishing and knees buckling as if struck. Her head gave a throb, and nausea roiled in her gut. She knew that feeling—that taste. Iron. As if the man’s core was made of it. And that oily, hideous aftertaste … Wyrdstone. The demon inside the overseer let out a choked laugh. “What are collars and rings compared to a solid heart? A heart of iron and Wyrdstone, to replace the coward’s heart beating within.” - EOS, chapter 15

* Side note, it's giving Tamlin and his stone heart.

Danika didn’t just look like she’d been rootling through the garbage. She smelled like it, too. Wisps of her silvery blond hair—normally a straight, silken sheet—curled from her tight, long braid, the streaks of amethyst, sapphire, and rose splattered with some dark, oily substance that reeked of metal and ammonia. - CC HOEAB, chapter 1

The Hind held Ruhn’s gaze as the game began. She was the spitting image of Luna, with her upswept chignon, the regal angle of her neck and jaw. As coldly serene as the moon. All she needed was a pack of hunting hounds at her side— And she had them, in her dreadwolves. How had someone so young risen in the ranks so swiftly, gained such notoriety and power? No wonder she left a trail of blood behind her. “Careful now,” the Harpy said with that oily smile. “The Hammer doesn’t share.” The Hind’s lips curved upward. “No, he doesn’t.” - CC HOSAB, chapter 33

I think the dark maker of the Cauldron could have been Valg, whether that's Koschei or someone else I don't know though Koschei currently makes the most sense. I also don't know when the dark maker would have had the chance to influence the Cauldron; was it always made from dark and light, or - as @fawnandshadows theorised a while back - did Koschei bastardise it after the fact? Where the Valg would fit in with the Daglan and the Asteri is also a mystery, though my current train of thought is that they could be family names or allegiances, like different clans of the same parasitical species, thanks to the description of Danika in HOEAB.

But, back to Azriel and his severe reaction to the Elucien bond.

I know I'm not the only one who wonders at the very Valg-ish themes with which Rhys and Azriel's powers have been described - maybe one day I'll post my thoughts about the possible link between lightsingers, shadowsingers, daemati and the Valg (but it is not this day lol) - and how that may have come about. For example, are the Valg interwoven, genetically, with the Avallen people, or is it because the Princes of Hel are also involved, and have similar magics? Are the Princes of Hel a similar species as the Valg, Asteri and Daglan, or completely different? Ugh, let's stop this spiral here.

Oily: the obvious train of thought being that oily things are slippery, which can lead to an imbalance… ie. becoming off-kilter.

Sounds like Azriel could be suffering from some sort of vertigo, of which symptoms can include nausea; severe headaches, such as migraines, may trigger an episode… and who rubs his temples enough that Elain noticed it?

Maybe Azriel can sense the corruption in the bond, either the current Elucien bond, or the hypothetical original bond between Elain and himself; if like calls to like, and his shadows are Valg-ish, maybe it is because his OG bond was fucked with. So, what if:

Azriel's shadows can slip away from spells and binding magic (Slippery > oily > Valg).

The guards at the prison know what he is.

Valg magic making Azriel nauseous and Elain sourcing/making a healer's powder for him? It's giving Chaol and Yrene. Especially since Elain (and Mor) make his shadows brighten.

So, we have in-text mentions of Azriel feeling overwhelmed due to the proximity of the Elucien bond, as well as Elain shrinking from Lucien - an action that parallels Azriel hanging out in the doorway, and even Lucien retreating to the human lands, if he feels any bond-related discomfort around Elain. But what about his initial response to seeing Elain, and thinking she was the most beautiful female he'd ever seen? The quote that sent me down the “oily” rabbit hole to begin with?

Looking at her now … She was pale, yes. The vacancy still glazing her features. But he couldn’t breathe as she faced him fully. She was the most beautiful female he’d ever seen. Betrayal, queasy and oily, slid through his veins. He’d said the same to Jesminda once. But even as shame washed through him, the words, the sense chanted, Mine. You are mine, and I am yours. Mate. - ACOWAR, chapter 24

Well, Aelin felt oily disgust at the thought of marrying someone who wasn't Rowan:

“There are no allies,” Darrow said. “Unless Her Highness decides to be useful and gain us men and arms through marriage”—a sharp glance at Rowan—“we are alone.” Aelin debated revealing what she knew, the money she’d schemed and killed to attain, but— Something cold and oily clanged through her. Marriage to a foreign king or prince or emperor. Would this be the cost? Not just in blood shed, but in dreams yielded? To be a princess eternal, but never a queen? To fight with not just magic, but the other power in her blood: royalty. She could not look at Rowan, could not face those pine-green eyes without being sick. - EOS, chapter 5

This example from Aelin could describe Azriel and Elain’s potential future if Elain accepted a theoretically Cauldron spelled bond to Lucien, but also for Lucien and Jesminda, if they were originally true or fated mates before she was murdered.

Some final thoughts:

We know from TOG that healing light is known as the Valg executioner. In a parallel to Yrene killing Erawan with her healing light in KOA, Elain killed the King of Hybern - who I suspect was possessed or assisted by a Valg, as Feyre described his magic as a “galaxy” in his palms - with Truth-Teller, which had recently devoured the (her?) sunlight; does this mean that Elain could heal or purify Valg possessed things, with or without the magical, Made dagger? Could this be extrapolated to Azriel's magic, the Dread Trove, or even the Cauldron (possibly with Feyre and Nesta for the bigger ticket items)?

If the Asteri are the same species as the Valg, and the Valg somehow had a hand in making or twisting the Cauldron, it could follow that they used the Cauldron to create offspring bonds for a more powerful food source. If this pans out then Elain, bright light, could hypothetically heal the Cauldron. Maybe that is why Azriel describes her with purity language? Not because SJM wants to display Azriel's apparently toxic thoughts about her (🙄), but because she, along with her sisters, will be his/their salvation? Rhys once said as much to Feyre!

@mrspettyferr has suggested that Azriel's shadows ability to hide him from binding magic - see: the High Lord's meeting in ACOWAR - could have prevented his true bond from snapping with Elain when she came out of the Cauldron. This could be supported by any Valg/shadow link.

Thank you for reading! Please don't mention any CC HOFAS spoilers in the comments or reblogs until after it has been officially published. 💜

[spencer-is-dead]

WHO WANTS A FIC REC LIST

ALL OF THESE FICS ARE MDSPENCER APPROVED, 100% PURE UNADULTERATED ANGST

(+ SOME FLUFF FOR THOSE WHO NEED IT)

FIRST OFF: THE FANFICS THAT REDUCED ME TO EITHER TEARS OR SCREAMING

ANYTHING FROM EITHER THE STANFORD TORUS OR BLUE VAPOR SERIES BY FANDOM MENACE NEEJMORP (FORMERLY KNOWN AS MEEJUNORP) THESE FANFICS CHANGED MY LIFE FOR THE WORSE AND I AM A BETTER PERSON BECAUSE OF IT

MACABRE THEMES AND VARIATIONS BY PIRACYTHEORIST, SPECIFICALLY CHAPTER FIVE. IT WAS LATE AT NIGHT AND I DIDN’T WANT TO WAKE ANYONE UP SO I SCREAMED INTO MY PILLOW AND PROMPTLY WENT TO BED. AND THEN THE NEXT DAY CHAPTER 7 HAPPENED AND THE SONG HAPPY FROM DESPICABLE ME 2 WAS PLAYING ON THE RADIO. IT WAS AN EXPERIENCE FOR SURE

ORPHEUS BY CANTARE. WHEN I SAY THIS FIC IS ONE OF THE BEST IN THE FANDOM I’M NOT LYING. ITS INSANELY GOOD. BEST YOR CHARACTERIZATION, BEST USE OF CHARACTER ARCS, SOMEHOW MANAGES TO HANDLE NOT JUST WISE, NOT JUST THE SSS, BUT ALSO GARDEN AND PROJECT APPLE. ITS INSANE YOU HAVE TO READ IT

Alright im going to stop screaming now that i have your attention

Up next are some fics that I quite enjoyed

Desiderium by ahenix. Really nice character study on Twilight.

Reflected in your eyes by Princessgaurd. A very relaxing post reveal pre relationship twiyor fic. 11k words of pining

Count by Luinel. Twilight having ptsd is one of my favorite headcanons, because it just makes so much sense. This was such a good fic and i heartily recommend it for the father daughter moments.

In the aftermath by OrcPaladinArthur. As always, this author never fails to deliver. This fic is so good you guys, you have no idea. It actually inspired one of my own fics lol

Also here’s two fics that would get me put on the weird person list but pop off I guess

What follows by piracytheorist. I do have a love for this fic for inspiring what became the loid eye club, i genuinely would not be the same person if not for this fic. Do mind the trigger warnings tho lol

After summers of fasting (i feel hunger at last) by BuzzCat. I shit you not you will forget that this is omegaverse mpreg with how well it’s written. It mostly focuses on twilight and Sylvia’s platonic relationship. It’s really wholesome(?) but I just find the juxtaposition between mpreg and familial-esque bonds really amusing???

Some fics of mine that I recommend

I’ll stay by your side , my most popular fic to date (thankfully surpassing my first ever fic that sucks ass)

Clementine, your bog standard “anya gets kidnapped by the scientists” fanfic with some Loid introspection. Unfortunately not finished but I WILL GET TO IT

Face me, in which Twilight literally loses his very identity. Very proud of this one lol

Tastes like blood, in which Yor seeks revenge after someone does a revenge on Loid. Fun oc stuff. Maya you could do no wrong in my eyes. Fun fact, the reason it’s called tastes like blood comes from the term “the sweet taste of revenge” and in this case revenge tastes like blood. I know, it’s a weird title.

A way out, started out as a very average whump fic but somehow turned into a study on Twilight’s mental health? Do mind the trigger warnings, this one gets very dark

And thats it. Those are all the fics I recommend. Hope you find something good

[chiscribbs]

Apocalypse Future Donnie Concepts

I wasn't actually planning on posting these until I had a definitive final design to share alongside them, but- It's probably going to be a while before that happens and I feel bad for how inactive this blog has been lately. I've been working on stuff, but only in-between projects, and none of it is really ready to post. So, here's a little something to prove that I am still alive. ❤

Donnie's design is so hard to update. It's just...so good in its simplicity??? Every element feels necessary to his character - so figuring out what to keep, what to get rid of, and what to change slightly is a definite challenge. It's even harder when we're given so little (canonical) information about what role he played in the Resistance and what effects the Krang Apocalypse may have had on him...including how long ago he was killed in relation to the movie. Or how he was killed, for that matter.

So, I'm playing around with some potential ideas and trying to get something that feels right - feels like Donnie, but if he had to adapt to the apocalypse (while also trying to stick to the show's simplistic, shape-heavy style, so nothing too terribly detailed or complex.) I'll share a few of these ideas below, for anyone who's interested.

(Also, yes - I know the spot-goatee is in no way an original concept, but I have a deep affection for it and had to include it in my design.)

One of the concepts I'm considering is giving Donnie a prosthetic leg, something to sort of parallel Leo with his Robo-Raph arm. But in Donnie's case, he probably lost his leg long before Raph was killed or maybe even before he built the robots of his family (maybe this serves as the inspiration or catalyst for the idea.) My working theory is that he was attempting to detonate a mine field full of some Krang dogs and something went wrong which caused him to get caught up in the resulting blast. He was lucky enough to keep his life, but lost his leg and probably some of his hearing in the process. Naturally, because it's Donnie (and because they're living through an apocalypse), the leg will be more than just a prosthetic limb - it'll have some kind of weaponry or technological capabilities built into it. Just haven't decided what that's going to be yet, lol.

I'm also toying with the idea of him creating some kind of "Ninpo Protection Device" - something to act as a defense mechanism against the Krang's mystic-cancelling (or, more accurately, locking) abilities. He's testing it on himself before green-lighting it to be used on his brothers (which, obviously, never happens.) The problem is I can't decide how to visibly convey this idea, I was thinking something along the lines of one of those medical aid devices that become permanent attachments to the user's body. But most of the visible parts of his body are covered in natural armor, save for his limbs and head. So figuring out the best placement for a thing like that has been a little challenging.

I was considering giving him a mechanical hand along with/in place of the robotic leg, as well. Reason being - he works primarily with his hands and almost never wears practical protection gear (another thing I tried to partially remedy with the addition of the gloves), so if any part of him is going to be lost, his hands would be the logical first choice. I also think there's a poetic element to the guy who relies on his tech becoming more and more "mechanical" himself (but only in the physical sense). It would also imply that there was a time when he couldn't work as efficiently on his own as he normally is able to, due to having one less hand, so there was likely an adjustment period wherein he had to lean into his mystic abilities (and the aid of others around him) far more than he's used to doing. A little background character development for him, because I love that kind of stuff.

These are about all of the definitive concepts I have for him at the moment, but obviously, I'm nowhere near having a finished design just yet. So, all of these could potentially be scrapped or tweaked in the final version.

If you read this far - kudos! And thanks for your interest! :>

[more-better-words]

fic author interview

Yoinked this from @ladytharen because it looked like fun. Hope that's not presumptuous of me. <.<

Tagging @deadheaddaisy, @phoenixflames12, @butcharondir, and anybody else who'd like to play.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

60! That's a nice round number.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Currently 593,580 - though in fairness, nearly a third of that is a single fic.

It was a different time back when I wrote that.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The four fics of my Built to Last series (though not in order, lol)

What We Build Here

For the Duration

From the Ground Up

The Place We Call Home

And rounding out the top 5, a Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency fic!

Lay Down the Beat 

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely! And because I have very little self-control, I will often do so within minutes of receiving them! 😅

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm. I don't really do angst - I mean, I'll write stories where angst happens, but that's rarely the point of the story. If the plot demands a dash of angst, then, much like a chocolate recipe that needs some salt, it will get its angst. But I don't really set out to write A Series of Sad Events in Which the Characters Are Sad; that's just not my style or my taste.

So I can't really say that ANY of my stories have an angsty ending. Oh well.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

With the above in mind, happy endings are basically a guarantee, at least up to a point. 😆 I let my darlings be happy, I let them get married and have things work out, because it's fiction, dammit, and I can.

That being said, probably the happiest of all would be just about any of my Trip/T'Pol fic, because I let them get married and have kids and successful careers and be surrounded by friends and family who love and support them because SCREW YOU CANON.

7. Do you write crossovers?

No, I don't think my brain's wired for that. I just...can't seem to.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Never on AO3 (okay, I once got snippily told I'd mistagged something, but that wasn't hate). I have gotten hate here on Tumblr, though never anything specific, just general "u suck" which...whatever.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

For a long time, I did not.

That answer has since changed.

As for what kind...the sweetest, fluffiest, most loving, happy, vanilla, tooth rotting smut ever.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, and I seriously doubt I ever would. I'm rather niche.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again, niche. Haven't yet, doubt I will.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Years ago, I worked on an AU fic project with a friend that was very cool and a lot of fun. None of it ever got published, though.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Which ever one I'm writing right now. 😁

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I wouldn't mind finishing my Shadowrun: Dragonfall fic The Haven. Maybe some day.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, baby! I can have two characters sit and talk to each other FOREVER.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action and physical description. Even when I can clearly see a room where action is occurring in my mind, I have real trouble describing it on the page.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I used to not have any, then I started making up words and phrases in my own version of Andorian for my Trek fic.

And I still don't really have many thoughts, because I'm sure I'm doing it wrong.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Hmmmm. Pretty sure there's some BtVS fic of mine still existent on LiveJournal. 😅

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I'd love to write Discworld (I adore Carrot/Angua), but Discworld is already so perfect. It would have to be an absolute gem of an idea.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Whichever one I just finished. 😄

[mueritos]

Hi Matteo,

I just wanted to say that I really appreciated the most recent comic you posted. It feels like it came at the perfect time for me lol. I’m in a bit of a transitional stage right now(in many ways) and I’ve basically gotten used to feeling like I’m disconnected and free floating. I know it won’t always be like that but it’s been rough. I have a friend who’s also a trans guy, though he transitioned several years before me and is now stealth, and though I cherish his friendship and appreciate his support, I sometimes find it hard to relate to his experience as a white guy with supportive parents. To some extent, my queerness has always felt very separate to my identity as a child of Mexican immigrants. I recently got the chance to visit family in Mexico and despite loving the experience, I was just so uncomfortable the entire time having to present as a girl. I’ve been trying to build up the courage to tell my parents that I’m starting T and it’s made me feel sort of alone because it’s a choice that I’ll have to defend myself. Idk, this comic just reminded me that there are other people who have gotten through these situations just fine and it was cool to see. I’m sorry for the long ramblings, I had a point initially but I kind of lost track of it. I mainly just wanted to thank you for what you do, it’s really nice to know that there are people out there like you.

hey friend! its not easy being us, but im proud of you for hanging in there. I personally haven't been to Mexico since I was 9 because I fear having to present as a girl, though I feel that no one down there would ever remember who I am enough to know I was born as one. I feel you on having white trans friends. I have one who I am very close to, but its hard to relate. His parents are so accepting in ways that mine aren't, and my parents do love and accept me! But that sort of acceptance in a Mexican family isn't mainstream. I had to accept that I was disappointing and hurting my parents GREATLY by choosing myself, all while knowing they still loved me.

It's weird. Even when your parents/family do come around, it's not 100%, but it's not like they dislike you. If anything, I have such a great relationship with my mom rn. We talk for hours about things I never would have thought we could ever talk about. My dad calls me as Matt often, but he still calls me by my old nickname when he's giving me kisses on the forehead.

Choosing yourself is not something we're supposed to be doing as children of immigrants. Every choice we make has to be for the betterment of the family. You might be the only one in your corner for a while, but the fight is worth it. Build community outside of your family where your presence isn't questioned. You're going to need it. Plan for the worst, and plan for the best.

Trans latines are out there. We are here! Many of us are thriving despite the horrors haha. Hang in there friend :]

[malwaredykes]

ok. finished honest hearts. most of my inventory is plants and mushroom and Soups And Potions And Elixirs made from said plants and mushrooms. which is excellent.

the salt-upon-wounds confrontation was Tchruly garbo like. first of all they lit up ole josh before anyone even had the chance to say anything LOL that wasnt like Bad necessarily just rly funny. like yeah we can negotiate before anything breaks out *the camera pans to Jotchua Grams lifeless body on the pavement* but um second of all what the hell was that dialogue. "grrrr im gonna kill you" "[speech 75] no thats stupid. dont" "umm okei :) but i'll be back >:(" *runs away* Like. man. listen. throughout the entire dlc i Did Not want to be fighting all those white legs lol. i didnt know those people. you know i generally hate the Hostile By Default Irredeemable Canon Fodder Raiders crap and in this case its just especially egregious to me, with them being a Tribe and with me being some random ass normie strolling into the area getting instructed by the local white saviors. like, okay, since i Was getting involved, then if anyone deserved to Feel The Judgment Of Mine fall upon them it was in fact salt-upon-wounds with his track record of being a horrible fucking person. so i had to fight my way through all those white legs only for the Problem Guy to be like "Hm Okay. Deal. You Leave Forever And I Get To Live. Sounds Good. Sucker" like. fuck no. youre dead. this is for waking clouds husband how DARE you make my bald queen SAD

which btw i did encourage cloud to get mad at daniel for hiding that from her. like yeah girl dont take this shit from him. youre allowed to feel angry. who does he think he is. making decisions for the sorrows like youre all children. be mad at him. chase him out. tell him to never show his stinky mug around these parts. If You Want. ahh but then the ending slides said she forgave him.... well i suppose i have to respect her choice... but... cloud honey if you ever wanna team up and chase daniels stinky mug far away just give me a call

i also encouraged follows-chalk to go out there and experience the world outside... i really hated how he felt obligated to ask joshua permission, and how joshua was like Well 🥺 I wont tell him what to do but 🥺 Is it wise... I just worry about my foolish little lamb 🥺... like. Shut Uuuupppp.... chalk is an adult. i think. either way what do You know. jotchua. last time you ventured into The Civilized Lands (lol) you were a fucked up genocide army general so forgive me for thinking you might not have the most objective and up to date outlook here. Anyway. chalk come hang out sometime. come to the lucky 38. youll meet my epic swag friends and family. LOL bit of an aside but (mostly so i dont become insane because of the dlcs writing) i like to imagine that most of the time chalk expresses incredulity about some Civilized World Concept like gambling (-_-) or big dams or big weapons, hes literally fucking with you. like hes joking around. he used to mess with daniel and jotchua like that and now hes doing it with you. like Wow... How Strange... You Say It Is Called A... "Window".... 😂😂😂...

loving how the ending slides barely mentioned joshua also. like wtf happened to him. who knows. damn maybe he did die and i didnt even notice. im sorry jotchua. may your soul quickly find its way to NOWHERE lol #owned

final verdict: waking-cloud and follows-chalk are great, joshua graham is an extremely funny character, daniel is nothing to me, the area is cool, the plot is dumb as hell, the whole thing is racist, the quests are boring. 3/10

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy weekend Fandom :) Per usual we have a few high content eps then the next is a little lower. Still a good ep to be had though. Seeing a softer side to Tim for Angela. What a good friendship they have. And the continued reasons to dislike Lucy’s parents so much. I go off on her mom so be prepared. They spend this episode apart which always makes me sad. But it’s a great episode regardless. Let’s get this started.

3x10 Man Of Honor

We start off the ep with some flashbacks to the academy. At first I thought my clip was shaky, then I realized its Nolan's shoddy camera skills not mine LOL This is the one moment I wanted to highlight out of the academy shots. Lucy’s reason for becoming a cop. It’s prominent for later in this episode. Especially with her bloody mom….Her feeling adrift since college and not knowing where she belonged. That when she stepped into the LAPD It finally clicked.

Saying she didn’t feel the time she spent before this was a wasted effort. Which is amazing most people regret the wasted time. To me I agree with her. It’s that time before you find your thing that eventually leads you to it. That need to want to protect others from harm as part of her reason. Fantastic and very Lucy. I do love her finding her place as a cop. It’s why she fights tooth and nail at everything she does with this job. What Tim saw in her from day one. That fire and drive to succeed. Love our girl.

The scene in roll call is hilarious. Jackson’s dad told him when he got P2 he got bottle of whiskey. That he was called up to the front and given this. They are both operating under this assumption when Grey mentions them. It’s too damn funny. I love their friendship so much. It truly one of the best parts of this episode. Jackson gets tongue tied so Lucy steps in for them both. Telling Grey it's their first day as P2's all exicited.

He asks them if they want flowers? Cupcakes? It's why Grey asks Lucy what the reward is for making P2 above. They’re insanely embarrassed by the time Grey is done with them. They get to ride together which is the highlight after all that. It’s so weird to have roll call without Tim there though. I feel his absence but I guess even T.O.’s get days off. Boo.

We catch Jackson and Lucy in their shop. Jackson keeps getting ‘Congratulations’ texts from his family. You can see the slight jealously on Lucy’s face. I totally get it. For the most part I relate to Tim. When it comes to poopy unsupportive parents I'm right there with Lucy. She and I are alike where I too have tried on a lot of hats. Just trying to find myself as well. My parents being judgy unsupportive jerks the entire way.

Lucy has finally found what her calling is and just wants her parents to be proud of her. Makes me wanna cry just writing that out. Because even when you don’t have good relationship, there is still a part of you craves that approval. When really is should be the other way around. They should be vying to be in your life.

Jackson invites her to his family tradition dinner. So sweet he really takes care of her so much. Lucy declines because her parents are supposed to come over for dinner. She thinks they’re finally coming around to her being a cop. Jackson is so excited for her and says that’s great. I love this scene. They’re so excited to be riding together it’s adorable. Getting to use ac and listen to music haha It's precious.

We cut to Tim on his day off. Yelling at Kojo to move when he’s given up on their walk LOL It's the way Tim whines at Kojo that makes me laugh so hard. Kojo refusing to get up even though they are close to the house. That dog clearly runs that relationship and it makes me giddy to no end. I adore any scene we get with Tim and his dog. Ovary explosion for me. I’m a huge animal lover. To have a dog and Tim in a scene? Phew lord. Gimme. Tim gets a text from Angela saying she needs him ASAP. He finally gets Kojo to move by asking him if he wants a steak? Lmao Spoiled Fur-baby.

Tim gets to the address and it’s a wedding dress shop. He enters hesitantly wondering what is going on... He asks the employee where she is? They tell him she is currently in the changing suite. She’s gone through half their tissue supply. Aww poor thing. Tim sighs and makes his way to her. Once inside asks what’s wrong? Is she going into labor? Lmao No love. Nothing like that. He is straight with her when she asks if she looks fat. I love how he tells her like it is while also being sweet about it. The Tim Bradford special. Telling her who cares what her stupid friend thinks. If she's not ashamed of her baby bump then screw everyone else.

Angela is still upset she can’t hide her belly in her dress. Then we get to see protective/supportive Tim come out. Mmm one of my fav flavors. Asking her ’Who said you have to hide your belly?’ Angela tells him her bridesmaids did. The dress she’s in was supposed to camouflage it the best and its not doing that.

I adore him building her up when she’s down. Look at him taking the skills he learned from Lucy. Using them in this scenario. I love it sfm. Tells her to show off her baby belly. To be proud not ashamed. To wear what she feels confident in. Ugh my heart Timothy. He’s doing exactly what she needed. This is why she texted him. To be that emotional support friend. Her face says it all in that gif above.

What I love about this scene we get to see another side of him. Not just work Tim. A supportive and thoughtful friend. If Lucy could see him right now she would be dying haha He asks her what her dream dress is? Angela tells him what she wants. He says he’ll go get the dress lady and they’ll start there.

I love this man so much. It’s insane. She looks so at ease and taken care by the end of their scene. What a good bestie does. Can only hope we can have scenes like this when Tim marries Lucy. Angela helping him out but giving him crap in a loving way baha Good man right here. Already loved him before this but this only adds to it. Like a sundae that was already delicious and adding on more yummy toppings. Only makes it even better.

Angela is trying on more dresses. Tim asking her if she’s doing ok? I’m loving this soft version of Tim. If he’s this sweet and supportive with Angela. Can only imagine how he would be with Lucy and their plans when they get there. Angela says hard to get dress on over her bowling ball. Naww Tim’s face when she finally comes out is so cute. Once again all I can think of is his face when he sees Lucy in hers someday. I'm sorry I can’t help it LOL My brain is wired to go there now with them together.

Tells her ‘Whoa.’ building up her confidence even more. It’s so sweet. Angela agrees it’s perfect and thanks Tim for doing this with her. He does the sweetest smirk and lets her know ‘Of course’. A crash interrupts their little moment. Two ladies are fighting over a dress. Tim and Angela come out to see the fight. The dress lady says she’s called the police. Not to worry. Tim starts to film it in case they need it for evidence.

Then his future wife and her bestie show up on the scene. Tim couldn’t be more delighted to watch her and Jackson handle this. Lucy is distracted the minute they enter the scene. Tim Is in a dress shop for one and two with Angela. Her reaction couldn’t be more pure and adorable. Asking if he’s there to help her pick out a dress? Just the thought of it is making her so happy and proud of him. The immediate joy on her face.

The thought of him doing this makes Lucy so damn giddy. Jackson doesn’t have time for her work flirt and goes after the suspects LOL Tim’s reply is classic Tim. God forbid she get to see another soft side of him. Which is exactly why she’s so giddy BTW. Tim replying to her question 'All he’s doing right now is watching her not do her job.' Ha God Tim you could’ve at least said hello. She gets nervous and side steps before helping Jackson. It's adorable. She's totally lost her place in her excitement and is clearly distracted by it.

The more the situation escalates the more Tim and Angela enjoy themselves. Angela commenting ‘They grow up so fast don’t they?’ One of them tries to take off with the dress. Tim helps Lucy out cause he can’t help himself. Sticks out his leg tripping the suspect. He could not be enjoying himself more if he tried. Just being a proud hubby filming her arrest and making comments along the way hehe Lucy's face while he does this. She is not amused at all. I’m cracking up. God I love these two idiots so much. Act more married please. You are fooling no one.

Her dinner will her parents Or really parent has arrived. Lucy being a wonderful daughter her mother doesn’t deserve. She's made lotus root soup which is her favorite for their evening Trying to curry favor with her before their dinner even begins. I get it. Her mom shows up solo…. Congratulates Jackson before he leaves. She is nicer and more of a supportive parent to Jackson than her own daughter… ugh been there…Lucy asks her where her father is?

Her mom says off handedly like it’s no big deal he’s at his book club. Like this dinner meant nothing to him. Her face kills me. Trying to just shake off the hurt. Melissa crushes this scene btw. My heart breaks for her over and over. Lucy continues to brush it off and say they can have a girls night to celebrate then. Her mom drops the hammer very early. Doesn’t even try to pretend to be happy about her graduating to P2. Says she isn't there to celebrate.

Saying how they need to talk about this whole police thing. Like it’s just been some random hobby the last year or so for her. Even gives a sarcastic 'Brava.' Like she didn’t almost friggin die from this 'hobby' last year. Telling her to do something meaningful with her life. To get a real profession. The emotional abuse happening in this scene hurts to watch. It gets under my skin as the hits keep coming. Basically saying what she’s doing doesn’t mean anything. Once again Melissa is wonderful in this scene. Watching how it slowly escalates and her body language through out. Trying to take what her mother is telling her and not let it affect her. It works for a little bit but not long...

States she wants Lucy to do something she’s proud of. One of the rudest things to tear your child down with. To only think of yourself and how their decisions make YOU look. Pisses me off so much. Just because my parents are the same damn way. To only think of themselves and not of their child. Such a narcissistic way to view Lucy and what she’s done with her life. How her career embarrasses them and they'd prefer her to just leave the last year or so behind. Just because it doesn't puff them up around their friends.

My parent's are obsessed with status as well. If I'm not using my degree (which I only got for them BTW) for a job it's not something to be proud of. Even though the job I currently have gives me independence to live on my own with no roommates (which is not cheap these days), pay all my own bills, and take care of me and my dogs with no help. But since it's not what they consider a profession to be proud of they aren't proud of me. So I relate painfully so to Lucy in this scene. Also the school thing such a boomer answer. My parent's are the same way.

To think school is the only answer to everything. That obsession with status and only wanting your kids to do their approved career choices. What makes them look good and smell good in front their social circle. Instead of thinking hey my kid is happy, they’re providing for themselves, they love what they do. They’re independent. No they only think how it negatively impacts them. I'm so mad for Lucy because I’ve lived this. The heartbreaking way she asks ‘Can’t you just support me?' Thinking why is this such a big ask?

This is why the support she gets from Tim is EVERYTHING to her. Why she lives and breathes for it. When you’re torn down your entire life it’s hard to have self esteem. Hard to believe you’ll ever be good at something. Even if you are you don't truly believe you are until someone tells you repeatedly. Emotional abuse growing up leaves lasting scars. You can see where it all stems from for Lucy in this one scene with her mother.

Her mom goes on to tell her to find a career that really helps people. Like a doctor. Uh she has. You just don’t like it. Says she doesn't mean to be blunt, but really she does. If her mom would take her head out of her ass for two seconds. She would see Lucy already has all the things she’s harping on her to achieve. I want to hug Lucy so much while her mom berates her. Giving me flashbacks to my own mother. The pot shots leave wounds that are hard to heal.

The way she says ‘They'll always love her but’ and there’s the emotional manipulation. Basically saying our love has a price tag and that tag is the job of OUR choice. Not the one that makes you happy but the one that is socially acceptable for them. The way she cringes and moves away from her mother's touch. Knowing it’s manipulative. Hurts my soul to watch. Last thing she wants right now is fake affection.

I do need to commend her for having the backbone to tell her mom to give her space. I've never had the guts to stand up to my mom. I just avoid her like the plague these days. Rarely interact with her. Easy when she lives on the other side of the country. All the way in Alaska and can stay there. So huge props to Lucy for being overwhelmed and setting a boundary in this moment.

That if she’s done expressing what a disappointment she is that she can just leave. Her mom doesn’t fight her in the least really. She does a little stomp trying to exude some power over her. It doesn't work. Then Lucy yells at her to go and she finally takes off. Phew. Hard scene to watch. The shot that pans out of Lucy is a great one but a heartbreaking one. Makes me so emotional to watch this scene. This scene resonates with me so much in the worst way. I wanna hug her so badly in that last gif. Wishing Jackson was there to do it for me.

The cuteness continues for Tim and Angela while they taste test cakes. This is a much needed contrast to Lucy's SL atm. Angela sighs and says this is stupid. That no matter what she picks Patrice will overrule her. Tim is sitting there all arms crossed. Has become one of my fav poses for him. Yum Tum. Says all authoritatively ‘Don’t let her.’

What I’m loving about theses scenes is we’re getting background on Tim. Which I always love getting. Why am I not surprised his dad got drunk and ruined his wedding? That his whole family seems like one giant disaster zone? (Other than Genny) I love him taking his past experience to help guide Angela with her wedding. Such growth. Saying a million things like what his wedding had you can’t control. But this she can. So to pick what she really wants.

Angela says she wants a Tres Leches cake, but Patrice will think it's too ethnic. SMH ..Tim goes into protect mode once again. I love it sfm. Letting her know ‘Screw Patrice. If she has a problem with Tres leches or anything else for that matter she can answer to him.’ Side note anytime Eric says any Spanish word I wanna climb him like a tree. He says it with the right inflection and it’s sexy af. You know he learned all that from his wife and I love it. Feral Caitlin will cool down now but hot damn. Protective Tim and a slight accent with a Spanish word? Lord help me. Also in the black hoodie? He’s trying to kill me.

Angela replies really? Tim nods his head and says 'Hell yeah.' Then proposes to him with a cookie to be her man of honor baha I love this episode for them. He tells man of honor isn’t a thing...She says yes it is. Lets him know he’s only person who’s made her feel sane. That she needs him to get through this wedding. He caves and says fine hehe Angela tells him his first duty is to fire her current made of honor Gretchen LMAO His reply ‘What?! ‘ I’m rolling. I love this man so much.

We catch Lucy and Jackson at the station next day getting their war bags loaded. Lucy saying he got in late must’ve had a good time. He shows her the necklace they gave him. St. Michael. Patron saint of cops. Lucy looks jealous and asks if his parents will adopt her? Jackson immediately sensing something is wrong. He asks if she had trouble with her folks? Picking up on Tim’s habit of being a lying liar who lies. She isn’t truthful with him and he can see right through it. The concern written all over his face.

Angela invites Gretchen to the station to be fired by Tim. It’s too funny. Tim asks why she can’t fire her? She says she’s working a case and has to go. Tim calls her a coward when he see’s Gretchen arrive lol. Another fun piece of history for Tim. He was at Angela’s nieces quinceanera. It’s how he introduces himself to Gretchen seeing as they met there before. Love them being close enough friends for him to attend that.

Gretchen is legit eyeing him the entire scene. Her eyes checking him out up and down. Can’t blame her look at the man. He is a sight to behold. Low key hits on him asking him if wants to make a little extra cash as the stripper? LMAO Too bad Lucy isn’t around to see this interaction. He always gets so flustered when someone does. I swear he doesn’t know the gorgeous creature he is when they do this.

Tim tells her she’s been fired from MOH. His cute little look when he says Angela picked him to be her man of honor. He’s happy to do it for her but doesn’t want anyone to hear it....lol You think she’s gonna be mad. Nope just relieved. Telling Tim it’s been a nightmare. Pulls out this massive book of ‘Patrice’s picks’ and the anti-anxiety meds that come with it. My god. Also the phone just for wedding needs. Tim’s face is hilarious he looks so very overwhelmed.

Lucy and Jackson get to end their day on a high note. They were able to link up with Nolan/Harper on their OP. Rescued a little girl and got her safely back to her mom. This scene is so validating for Lucy. Reminding her despite what her parents think this is her calling. That this is the right path for her and she’s helping people like she wanted to. May not be the way her parents approve but she is. Grey telling them that little girl wouldn't be here without their hard work. They're being put up for an award too from Grey as well. That is the icing on the cake for her in this scene. She needed this after that horrible fight with her mother.

We find Tim and Angela on the rooftop walking toward something. She asks him what he’s doing? He tells her ‘Being your man of honor.’ They walk up to a trashcan that has the 'Patrice picks' book in it. He tells her he has one job. Give her the wedding she wants. He douses it all in the lighter fluid. Hands her the lighter and asks if she cares to do the honors? Then Angela praises him and calls him amazing.

He could not be cuter when she says this to him. Being Tim he deflects it with sarcasm saying ‘All the time.’ Ha! It’s much different than the smile we get out of him in 5x13 when Lucy calls him amazing. But it is different when the love of your life calls you that vs your bestie. Still I love this for him. The Patrice phone rings and Angela tosses it in the fire. Tim has them step back cause the battery in it is gonna explode LOL Such a damn cute episode for Tim I can not stand it.

Best part of the episode for Lucy is this next scene. I love Jackson so very much for his loyal and loving friendship. Also for how he handles this whole thing. Knowing something is off with her. He called her mom and was told what her mom said. Tells Lucy he told her mom if she didn’t apologize to her she wasn’t going to set foot in their apartment again. Such a good friend. That’s a true blue bestie right there.

Then he follows it up with something even sweeter. Handing her a jewelry case saying this was from the West family. To remind her there are people out there who are proud of her. Proud of what she’s accomplished. I’m melting this is so damn sweet. I might get a cavity. He helps her put it on. Then tells her he’s taking her to dinner. For baseball steaks. She asks if they can do sushi instead? LOL Jackson easily concedes and says ‘Deal.’ He'll do whatever she wants.

Jackson takes care of Lucy so well. Filling that role until Tim is ready to step in and take his place. He would’ve been SO SO happy for her and Tim. To see Lucy be taken care of and treated like a Queen. Which she so very much deserves. To see her properly loved and happy. Makes me emotional thinking he’ll never get to see how happy Tim has made her.

Such a good episode even though Chenford were apart their SL’s separately were so good. What makes them so great. Can have amazing SL’s even when apart. Although I prefer them together heh.

Side notes-Non chenford

Getting to see Capt Anderson in their graduation flash back. My heart. I miss her.

The flashbacks to them at school were every cute. Lucy kicking ass in their combat classes. Of course she did. Nolan even commenting 'Think twice before taking on recruit Chen’ Obviously.

Nolan had a SL but I didn’t care about it until it involved Jackson and Lucy 😂

Thank you as always to those to like, comment, reblog and support these reviews. They’ve helped me a lot getting through this extended hiatus. I hope they’ve been helping you all as well. Shall see you in 3x11 :)

[caeli0306]

chapter 16 of castles crumbling (aka Tales from the Airport Bathroom extended version) now posted!

Chapter 16: Meltdown is now up on AO3: READ HERE

WE ARE SO FREAKING BACK!

I'm so sorry this one took so long, but as you guys may know, the last couple weeks/months have been really tough for me and writing has been like, impossible. I was stretched too thin and over committed myself, and I just needed a break. Admittedly this probably would have been posted on Saturday but my college football team lost and I had to spend a few days in mourning. This chapter is way shorter than I originally planned bc I just wanted to post something so bad so I can get back into my writing habit that I was like fuck it we'll just go with what we have. I hope people enjoy this one - chapter 17 will not take as long (assuming another grandparent doesn't die and Alabama wins the rest of its games this year lol)

Summary:

Violet should already be dead. People whispered about her weak body and how she would never live up to her family's martial accomplishments. Violet rose above them all, however, fighting and killing to survive the Navarrian Intelligence Agency's brutal BASGIATH training protocol. Now, people whisper about Violet's swift ascension through the NIA's ranks as one of its most valuable operatives and assassins. The whispers don't matter to Violet: She has her own agenda, and it's a dangerous one - finding out what happened to her father.

But one mission changes everything: Suddenly, Violet finds herself in the crosshairs when she stumbles on information Navarre wants buried, and the country she fought for begins to turn on her. Violet knows too much, but she's determined to do what she does best: Survive. Her only hope is the son of the man who they say killed her brother, but their partnership is far from assured. Some grudges run deep, and trust is a currency too valuable to give freely. Xaden realizes Violet may be the key to everything, but with enemies seen and unseen closing in on all sides, the consequences of failure are deadly.

===

Xaden opens his mouth to argue back, but Liam intercedes.

“If you two are going to do this now, can you take it elsewhere?” he asks with a grin. “You’re making a scene.”

And that’s when, once more, I return to reality. I can’t help the blush that fights its way up my neck to my cheeks, because he’s absolutely right. Everyone still in the armory is staring at us. Kill me now.

“Fuck me,” I mutter. I throw another glance in Xaden’s direction, but I can’t get a handle for what’s going on in that head of his. I huff, then turn on my heel, marching towards the doors. I hear the sounds of someone following me – no doubt Rhiannon. Or maybe Liam.

When I get to the doors that lead out into the maze of hallways beyond the armory, I’m surprised to see that it was Sawyer who followed me this time. Then I remember that he’d wanted to talk and slow my pace.

“You ok?” My friend asks after he’s matched his steps with mine.

“Absolutely dandy,” I reply.

I don’t have to look at him to know he’s rolling his eyes. “You’re a horrible liar.”

“It helps that I’m not trying to be a good one.”

[youremyheaven]

need some big sister advice because ive just gotten heartbroken 🫠🫠

i wouldn’t say i got played, because that’s not really the case, but i definitely did get hurt lol 🤣 the guy is two years older than me. sweet, charming, genuinely a gentleman. we were never really talking but there was always a weird tension between us, and sometimes he would do things that were not exactly friend things.

he’s older, and we’re at that age where the two years gap is fine but also has that “older guy” energy. he recently got a girlfriend. she’s so gorgeous, i won’t lie. genuinely has the nicest smile ever, and she’s everything i’m not? or i guess her background is a lot more similar to his than mine. they both come from really wealthy families— they’re both well traveled, well cultured, everything.

my grandparents are wealthy, maybe comparable to his family and hers. my parents are average to higher middle. never mind the context.

there were genuinely so many weird coincidences between us, from line-ups in our past, to other things like same birthmarks or conditions. maybe all this doesn’t matter though, does it? i think all this just contributed to me thinking there was something more between us.

idk i’m just hurt because there were so many things he did that were so sweet, and so nice, and he never really cared about other girls that way. it was all genuine too, and definitely more than friends things. right now im wondering if maybe he just saw me as someone to take care of? someone younger, more naive, and maybe he never actually liked me that way— but then there are other things that he did that were so not friends 😭😭 and even his friends and mine would sometimes ask if we had something going on

sometimes i wonder if the entire friend group was just in on this big joke or maybe im just looking at him with puppy eyes, even though im not that kind. ive been so adamantly against relationships, and this was the first time i actually wanted someone. ive always been so focused on school, internships, taking care of everyone, and then for once i wanted something for myself, and this happened.

im so academic, and i like taking care of people and doing things like knitting/crocheting/embroidery/cooking and all that stay at home things. you get the gist, im basically a homebody and introvert and i just like my own space and peace 😕😕 this girl parties, is always at the beach (me too but we are so different even in this manner because she’s the kind that takes pictures, dresses so well and i admire her so so much for it, while i go and pick up seashells and stare out at the beach 🤣🤣) and she’s just sooo extroverted, the life of the party with everyone, and so charming. and he’s quieter i guess, conventionally attractive, from a good household, a gentleman, stuff like that.

i never thougjt i would be the kind to compare myself to others but this is the first time ive ever felt this way and i just 😞😞

he’s really the nicest, and his girlfriend seems so sweet too, it was just sudden.

any advice? if youve ever been in this situation <33 i know its not really astro/fashion related but i don’t think i can even talk about this to my friends or anyone :c

babygirl 🥺

i understand what you're going through<3 this has to be one of the most difficult experiences in the romance arena tbh,, a guy who is extremely nice to you, gets your expectations up and then ends up dating someone who is the complete opposite of you 😭😭its a terrible feeling and its only natural that youd compare yourself to her,,

the best thing for you to do rn is to distance yourself from them. dont look at their socials, dont meet them often and get as far as u can from them.

its okay to wallow in it and it will take you some time to move on.

its impossible to understand where he was coming from or what his intentions with you were. you dont have to feel like you're silly for having believed that there was something between the two of you. he gave you "special" treatment and thats reason enough. whether or not he had romantic intentions is a different matter.

but the important fact rn is that he indeed has a girlfriend, which means its in ur best interest to avoid him and not contact him during this period so that you dont feel worse than you already do.

did he have feelings for you? was he just a reallyyyyy nice guy with no romantic intentions? was he just toying with you? these are questions that we can't really find answers to rn and no answer will ever really be satisfying enough.

immerse yourself in your hobbies, studies/work and keep yourself engaged. focus on yourself.

obviously an experience like this can take a toll on your self-esteem but these are experiences that will help us grow thick skin. our self worth should never depend on how others treat us. sounds easier said than done but you must always always always remember that how someone treats you is a reflection of their character more than it is of yours.

this can go both ways. if someone is extremely nice/kind/generous with you, it helps to maintain humility when you think its the goodness of their heart that makes them act like that, not you being "special" enough to receive it.

but if someone is mean/nasty/rude etc, thats also because of their character and the poison they carry in their heart. and has nothing to do with you as a person.

its important to build a firm core so that you're not swayed by generosity or broken by malice. you have to be self-content enough to see all things, both good and bad, as temporary. this does not mean you dont appreciate the good stuff or feel bad about poor treatment, you're human and you'll always have feelings but life is long, and you'll meet all kinds of people in life who will say and do all kinds of things, you shouldnt tie your self esteem to it, thats all.

think of these experiences as your immunization process, you're becoming more resilient and strong.

with men, unless and until, they explicitly say they want to take you out or date you or want you to be their gf, its 🚩🚩 and sometimes they even say all this AND play you 😭😭

i hope you have more peaceful days ahead of you and can forget this guy and focus on yourself<3

there are better men waiting for you who will give you the world and never make you second guess anything!! dont be too disheartened, pretend this is ep 4 of a romantic drama, things always get better by ep 16 😉💛💛

[lightuponearth]

daily log ₊˚⊹

forgot to make a post yesterday because i was quite busy!! but yesterday went great, still working on my sleeping sched but everything else is going smoothly

- i did move with nicole's power pilates class, which absolutely wrecked me btw i was sweating so much throughout it and my legs were shaking by the end. i love nicole's workouts and they're my go-to, but i'm trying to branch out and find others that are just as good, so if you have any recommendations please share!

- i did end up meditating after my bedtime yoga the day before and i did last night too! i'm really excited to start adding it to my routine, i think it's a good time for me to meditate because one of my issues was finding the time to do so, and doing it after my bedtime yoga is perfect since i'm not just meditating and starting a whole new part of my routine but i'm stacking that habit onto another which i already do!

- i made dinner for my parents today, usually its my mum in charge of dinner (we make our own breakfast and lunch), but i decided to start making dinners for my family ever thursday! i made a chicken curry inspired by sanji's curry recipe in one piece, not that i've watched the show but a close friend of mine does, and i missed her so i thought why not. it was quite a long process because there were several steps and the ingredients had to be prepared in different ways and it wasn't just chopping and dumping them all together, but i still enjoyed cooking and it turned out great! also i say inspired by the recipe because i ended up changing a lot of things lol

- i studied and practiced javascript for about two hours! bless the compsci bros on youtube for posting free tutorials and giving access to knowledge. i'm trying to transition into react as well so most of what i'm learning for javascript is based on what's necessary for react!

- i've been on a social media break (instagram and twt specifically, deactivated my ig account) and i'm finding it really nice. it's supposed to be for a month or so but i'm tempted to just not return back to instagram at all— can't say anything about twt because my relationship with it has always been somewhat like a toxic ex, i leave it for around 4 to 6 months only to come back to it and start all over again until i leave— but i'm sticking to tumblr because i still barely use it lol i kinda just post and scroll for a bit then leave

goodness my daily logs are less of a quick post and more of me yapping and using this as my journal, which i guess is fitting since i call this acc my online diary. maybe i'll try shortening these posts and use like one sentence for each bullet point, let's see. anyways i hope you all are doing well, thank you for reading if you've read this far ♡

[totallynoteggos]

lol hey this is just a vent post abt my life rn I don’t really expect any on u to read this

Tw if you do read this: talk of Anxiety, ppl not understanding neurological limitations, talk of vauge self exit and SH (its very minor) overall vent post shit

Sorry u have to see me in such a shifty mental state but I need to get this off my chest before I resort to violence

Once again, not KND stuff this is a Vent Post

I’m not neurotypical by any means I'm on some spectrum but all we know so far is that I have OCD and Anxiety. Also I'm going into the 9th grade which that In of itself is a stressful situation but in the last four years I've never stayed in the same school so seeing the same people is hella new to me. I have this really bad habit of going no contact with people after the school year is over because I usually never see them again. My mom can't seem to understand that there are simply things I can't do because of the anxiety & OCD (and I'm not using this as a reason to act out or defy her) abt 2 weeks ago we went to get food, now usually I order my food to make sure I get what I like and not have a mixup. And pls notice this was after a week long “vacation” that ended up being stressful and draining. But anyways there was a mixup and I ended up with a burger with all toppings instead of plain, which caused me to panic because I was hungry and stressed before already. And instead of trying to accommodate she stood firm in her beliefs that I need to get over it and just eat the damn burger. And I heavily insisted on not eating it and eating the fries instead. After a argument (and at the instance of my grandma) she bought me another burger and while in line I told her outright that there are some things that I physically can't do or else they send me into a panic. She that said that she “gets that” but I don't have to act out In front of my grandma which she idolized. And now like I said with the whole start of school she's saying “it wont be your best years if you don't let it be your best years” but I don't think she understands that I don't know how to do that. I've moved around a lot and I've been made fun of a lot due to my interests, hobbies and simply just to be the clown. Most of the people I befriend end up getting annoyed or just keep me around until I say something that doesn't make me the dumb and “quirky” one. And like I said I suck at keeping contact and now everyone still has their old friend groups and mine just see me as a joke or weirdo now. Its stressing me out so much and its only been two days, hell yesterday I would have thrown up from the stress but because I was so stressed I didn't eat shit so I didn't throw up. School stresses me out so much it's unimaginable, its the people, the sounds, the halls, the fact that people won't leave you alone, someone always talking or screaming, just please shut the fuck up so I can learn and be out of here. And god its so fucking hard not feeling what everyone else around you feels. My moms getting upset at me for not wanting to go on the busses when I have gone on one and it left 20 fucking minutes from my house cus the lady was screaming and I got scared as was about to cry. And now she wants me to try again with kids I don't fucking know who some how don't know personal space or manners. And back to the emotions things, why the fuck don't I feel the same as them, god I feel so fucking robotic compared to my mother and everybody else but they also make me feel like a god damned mutt. On one hand they think it's weird that I don't want to talk or to Interact but somehow don't realize that it's their fault I don't want to, and on the other hand whenever I'm upset or angry and actually show it its MY fault. Because apparently since I'm the youngest of my family im supposed to have the personality of pinkie pie and I have no problems. And because I'm quiet, friendly or just shy and I'm supposed to control my emotions because I'm a “young lady”. I've tried talking to my mom about home school because my school has that as a option but she says that I can't hide when she's been doing that too. Sometimes I feel like she cares more for the happiness of those she wants to impress rather than that of her family. But god if all of life feels like this then count me out cus its too much to be alive right now. I think ima take a shot or three of night quill and hopefully sleep until ITs to late to go to school

Goodnight

[midwinterwings]

Happy deitykin euphoria moments :D this is the first time I feel comfortable in my body holy crap. Here's some nerding and yay maybe this blog will be positive instead of having repeated mental breakdowns...yay

*deep breath*

I have COOL WINGS now! (Bodily) I still love them, I hope they stay. My wings are more conceptual as they shift, theyre kind of like shadows, because they more represent flying/realm crossing than my 'true form''s wings. So they kind of flicker like shadows but they are sort of corporeal in that I can feel them somewhat. Nontheless, I love feeling them and stretching them so they fill up my entire room. It feels great. I can even sort of control them now, for example stretching them, or flapping them, whereas before I couldn't really control them. Although now I feel weird lying on my back because owchie even though my wings are made of shadows I can't really banish them at will. It's more of a spiritual ouch than a physical ouch but still, it feels so weird.

2. My talons also moved to the physical realm too and it feels great! They took root where my hands would have been. Theyre sharp.

3. I can finally read mythology without having a breakdown! Yay...my sense of identity is extremely strong these days. I do have self doubt at times but it dosent consume me and cause a meltdown cuz yea reading the myths would trigger me bad as the self doubt spiral would start.

4. I moved most of me into the physical realm and stretched myself out to fill the body with me so now it's mine. And I feel great. I'm able to fly and vibe as myself even in the physical realm (no not in a physical manner obviously, its sorta like.-)

Imagine the body is an empty rubber toy. I have brought me out of just incorporeal realm and 'base realm' and stretched me out from the inside and filling the rubber toy so bodily I'm most of what im like in base realm - not in a literal way but I'm able to express me completely in some aspects with the limited material I have to work with, something I never thought I'd be able to do. Admittedly I piggybacked on my raven form which is already firmly in the body, my deity form (which is another expression of my raven form) isnt quite done figuring out where everything goes but it's got a good template. Holy shit you have no idea how many years it took to learn how to exist and feel normal.

5. I figured out who I am which is...*flops on ground* I've gotten beaten up so many damn times it was fucking hard, because we kept finding more and more Stuff to unravel like plurality and all the while existence is painful...and jarring, as it is, while the body's 'family and friends' think its the anxiety and adhd that are the reason they had no idea we'd been trying to learn how to make us gain a physical form in different realms lol and learn how to 'shut off' or dull other ones because HEY its HARD to live in so many ok?? Meds helped. Now I can only feel 3, 4 max. Could probably feel more if I wanted but...no thanks. I just wanna exist here man I have better senses and there's good food like pizza and stuff even if I can't fly ok.

The relief and being able to just..exist..without encountering pitfall after jarring pitfall is Hecking rad. I need to rest. At the same time I'm so excited and relieved, it's the first time I feel real, present in this realm, whereas before it was like staring at the physical realm through a pane of thick half opaque glass, unable to interact, to just watch.

But interact I shall, and interact I will. *puffs out chest and flies into a window*

[thewanderingzeppelin]

Making Great Use of My Morning Off

by creating this quiz!!!

So yeah, I've been spending a lot of time driving for my job lately, which means plenty of time for contemplation, and this quiz is the result haha

Below the cut you'll find the list of books/descriptions that I included as my quiz results, in case you want to know what the other books are, or if you don't feel like answering a few questions, which honestly is fair. It's also my first time making a quiz, so there's a really high chance that I've done a terrible job weighting the answers and everyone will get the same book LOL

Swallows and Amazons by Arthur Ransome

This is a old children's classic that I only read in recent years. I fell in love with the adventures and shenanigans of this sibling group spending their summer sailing around a small lake in England, camping out on an island, and battling against a rival boat. The best part? It's actually the first book in a series, and all 12 of these books are equally delightful.

The Hundred and One Dalmatians by Dodie Smith

If you've only ever seen Disney versions of this story, you are SO missing out! This story is a delight from beginning to end, full of fun and adventure and so many more characters than the movies include. Smith's wry humor really shines. To me, this is a Christmasy book and I read it almost every December. PLEASE NOTE: You MUST find an edition illustrated by Janet and Anne Grahame-Johnstone!!! It is a CRIME for this book to ever be published without them!!!

The Velvet Room by Zilpha Keatley Snyder

This one may be a little hard to get a hold of as it has been out of print for a while. Set during the Depression, Robin's family finds a job at a fruit orchard in California. I first read this when I was around 11, and Robin's desire to have her own secret place where she could just be quiet and by herself really resonated with me. There's a lovely story here of friendship, overcoming prejudices, and what it means to be part of a family. Does everything get tied with a possibly too-neat bow at the end? Yes, but that's yet another reason that I love it.

The Snark-Out Boys and the Avocado of Death by Daniel Pinkwater

This book was hard to link things to, so I'm wondering if anyone will even end up getting this as a result. It's just completely its own thing - definitely the most marmite book on this list. You'll either think this is the most hilarious thing you've ever read, or the stupidest. It's completely bonkers from first page to last. Pinkwater wrote tons and tons of books, but if you enjoy this one, put Borgel on your list as well, as it's my other favorite of his.

The Blue Castle by L.M. Montgomery

Thankfully, I've been seeing this book get a lot more love in recent years. While I dearly love the Anne books (and almost chose Rilla of Ingleside for this slot, since I think it can be read as a stand-alone), this one is lovely because it's just its own little story. Valancy is one of my favorite book heroines of all time. I will say that this book starts sad as Montgomery shows us how grey and difficult Valancy's life is - but then things turn around and the rest of the book is just so much fun. It's a romance, but it's really more about Valancy embracing life and I love it.

Snow Dog by Jim Kjlegaard

Kjelgaard wrote all kinds of books about outdoor life, hunting, trapping, and dogs. They aren't for everyone, but I absolutely devoured them growing up and still return to several of them for regular rereads. While Snow Dog includes a trapper named Link, the real focus of the story is on the feud between a crafty wolf and a half-wild dog. It gets pretty intense. If you like it, there's a sequel called Wild Trek, another favorite of mine - Link and the dog head even further into the wilderness to try and rescue two men who crashed a small plane. It's SO exciting!!

The Man in the Brown Suit by Agatha Christie

There are a lot of Christie books I could have picked because I love almost all of them, but I went with one that I don't hear people mention as often. It's one of her "spy" novels, which she always writes rather over-the-top and campy, and I think they're fantastic. This book is full of humor, drama, ridiculous characters, unlikely scenarios, and coincidences, and it's just so much fun from start to finish.

Crocodile on the Sandbank by Elizabeth Peters

Set in 1880s Egypt, Amelia Peabody inherited some money from her father and has decided to use it for travel, with Egypt as her first stop. It doesn't take long for her to become embroiled in mystery and romance. I'm not sure I would have necessarily thought to put this book on this list except I am currently rereading this entire series (there are 19 books altogether) and enjoying it SO much. Amelia can be a little too pedantic at times, and the series has some lows as well as highs, but on the whole these are just great fun. While the mysteries are a little campy, Peters (who real name was Barbara Mertz) had a PhD in Egyptology, so the background for these stories is impeccable, adding greatly to the entertainment and interest.

Spindle's End by Robin McKinley

If you don't like your fantasy to include long, rambling, parenthetical asides, then give this one a miss. I can't explain why I love this book so much, but I read it almost every year. A sort-of retelling of Sleeping Beauty, it spans years and is a bit chunky, but I love every page.

Joy in the Morning by P.G. Wodehouse

No list of favorite books of mine would be complete without a Wodehouse. There were sooo many I could have chosen because I love them ALL. But this one is absolute classic Bertie and Jeeves fare, so it's a great place to start (although I personally recommend reading all the Jeeves books in published order so you really get the full impact of the various background characters). I literally can't read Wodehouse in public because I snort-laugh at almost every page. Wodehouse is a master of building, building, throughout a chapter - here's a solution - final paragraph of the chapter pulls the rug out from under you and sends you in a completely different direction. He's just plain magic.

[tanjirosjuliet]

Tanjiro,zenitsu and kyojuro with a s/o like noelle from genshin impact?

A/n : I watched a few videos and I think I can write for her! I've never played with Noelle nor I have her (I'm a keqing main) but I'll try my best to write this!<3 and I'm so sorry if its bad I just don't know her personality very well😭

MASTERLIST

Tanjiro , Zenitsu And Kyojuro With A S/o Who Is Like Noelle

TANJIRO KAMADO

You are a helper in the butterfly mansion but also a slayer and you use stone breathing! Stone breathing is the closest to geo so yea

How you guys first met..

You guys met when after the natagumo mountain arc, when shinobu told you to patch him up you first saw him. You two had a normal chat about your job and why was he carrying a demon around with him he explained everything and after that you became very protective for nezuko after that.

How he confessed....

His confession was pretty simple and cute. You both walked up to a field full of flowers and that's where he confessed with a flower I his hand "would you mind if I be your boyfriend?" His eyes were shining so beautifully with the sunset rays hitting his face,and a little pout of his face🫶he looked absolutely ethereal and of course, your answer was yes. You cried a little when he confessed, finally being able to date the man you loved the most. He pulled you into a hug and asked your permission to kiss you. And his kisses were so gentle and sweet. You can't help but melt into his touch<3

When you guys started dating...

He has never been in a relationship before so this was very new to him. He is very affectionate towards you, he treats you like you are made of fine glass which can break anytime. His kiss are always so cute and he blushed alot after that. He was mostly the one who initiates the kiss because you're shy, but when you do it it's like a complete shock to him!. And he lovesss physical affection because after his family's death he never gets it anymore. Whenever he'll be sad or upset or just wanting some cuddles, he would come up to you. As you're really quite he always asks for your permission before even touching you.

He knows how much high expectations you have from yourself and most of them are not even possible, he tried his best to comfort you whenever you disappoint yourself and tells you not to push yourself more than your limits.

Whenever you smile at him he literally Bursts inside, he feels like a free bird lol since you don't do it so often

Whenever he is having those beautiful moments with you he feels so happy because he gets you have someone so caring and affectionate like you<3 you don't know how much those little moments mean to him<3

ZENITSU AGATSUMA

How ou guys met

You guys met around the hashira training arc. He found out you were Gyomei's tsuguko. He was so shocked to see you push giant rocks and carry heavy logs all by yourself! He was so amazed when he was unable to do any of those😭

How he confessed

He confessed to you during training and it was so stupid yet so cute . He gifted you a promise ring telling you that he will take care of you forever!

When you guys started dating

He literally stopped flirting with girls after you guys started dating and he treats you like a literal QUEEN

Whenever a man even approaches you he gives them a scary look and shoo's then away and then hugs you "mine" he says kissing your cheek "and only yours" you say while smiling

RENGOKU KYOJURO

How you guys met

You were around his age but not a hashira yet you were training under Gyomei and he met you when you went to Gyomei to ask him about something. Then he saw you training with him. He asked Gyomei about you and he told him everything. Ofc you heard it because he was so loud xd

Confession

He confessed to you while you both were assigned on a mission together. After you both killed the demon he came towards you and politely confessed to you and even told you that if you didn't liked him it'd completely fine and you can just say no!. When you told him that you share the same feelings too he hugged and said alot of I love yous to you

When you guys started dating

Hes very affectionate towards you and always holds your hands when you guys are together or just walking around.

He wants you to be a hashira and trains you hard for it

He notices how hardworking you are finds it amazing and you don't run away because every tsuguko he had ran away from the horrendous training he had

He would just come up to your room and ask if you're doing okay because he knows how much you overwork yourself! He makes sure you had proper meals and sleep

He always puts you and senjuro before himself because you guys matter alot to him

___________________________________________________________________________________________