#its not paranoia if theyre really out to get you

[crossthread]

What people without anxiety don't understand is that I'm constantly walking around feeling like I'm in mortal peril, and sometimes the feelings are right

[fulminatethesun]

Is It Paranoia Or Normal Observations From A Social Animal: The Game

[silverne-nonsense]

TOGETHER WE SPIRAL 🤝🏻🤝🏻🤝🏻

Because yes, exactly, why show an update about a fairy if there’s nothing to gain from it?? With how much time and effort is put into these updates, no way it’s not important! If the comment Malon made from MalonPT5 about Twi getting hurt came back to bite us, this is DEFINITELY coming back!!

I also think we are well overdue for the slate and charm connection to be brought up?? I’m honestly surprised it hasn’t come up sooner? Other than the initial doodle, it’s been weirdly absent—especially since the group has split up before?

(Don’t tell me there’s a reason it hasn’t come up yet. don’t. I don’t need to spiral FURTHER shdhfjfndhdnf)

But like?? There are so many instances of Jojo either referencing herself or alluding to future events. THE FAIRY IS COMIN BACK

I am personally subscribed to the “it’s the action itself, not the fairy” theory, but it could be anything. It could literally be anything. There’s no right answer until it HAPPENS, WE’RE JUST STUCK SHDNFJDVDJDCN

Chekhov INDEED has his gun pointed at our foreheads, he’s just waiting on Jojo’s order to pull the damn trigger

You got me overthinking about that damn fairy too.

It’s 100% coming back to haunt us, no way it’s not.

But WHEN??

Is it gonna be in the temple?? Is it the GIMMICK of the temple???

Or is Wars gonna keel over and Wind will need to give him the fairy? Or vice versa? Or someone else entirely???

Or maybe someone else without the fairy gets put in a bad spot and remembers that Legend proved it’s possible to change antifairies into regular fairies??

Is it even relevant to the temple?? Is this a long play????? Is this gonna come back like the damn mailman; in an entirely different arc of the comic?????????

Chekhov’s gun is a menace to society and I hate it (I love it, I live for the drama)

My life got so much worse ever since I learned what the chekhov's gun principle is cause now I consume media analyzing EVERYTHING and overthinking every little thing (I'm lying I love doing this lmao)

Ok but I'm so glad I'm not the only one plagued with the idea that the fairy WILL come into play, like why go through the trouble of showing an entire update centered on a fairy just to never bring it up again??

I am 99.9% sure wind caught her, so like going with that idea, wind is in possession of the fairy rn and we don't know if the others have fairies too or not

Jojo hasn't brought the pirate's stone+slate connection up in the main comic, I don't think, so with the group separated like this it's an excellent time to do it!

OR as u said, the showing of the antifairy being turned into a fairy via magic is the relevant thing and not the fairy itself

If say, wind didn't catch the fairy, we did see four really getting worked up over not knowing u could turn antifairies, so like maybe something happens to the only trio and four goes into action looking for an antifairy

AND OHMYGOD DON'T SAY THAT if it doesn't happen now I WILL be STILL thinking about it like that fairy is relevant it HAUNTS ME

CHEKHOV HAS HIS GUN POINTED AT MY FOREHEAD RN THIS IS MAKING ME INSANE JDBDKDN

[triglycercule]

horror is so BLESSED he's the only one out of the murder time trio that has actual good people trying to influence his story 💔💔 dust and killer were both driven to INSANITY because of the choices of their respective humans but horror??? every time without FAIL the polls for horrortale's plotline have always ended in a good place for aliza (either by bettering her relationships/reputation or for her to just. not DIE)

horrortale's potential alternate timelines my beLOVEd🙏🙏 they're SO lucky that we're being kind and benevolent hehe (≧ω≦) now where are the aus based off the possible different outcomes that could've happened in horrortale HUH???? (like how aliza couldve killed toriel or chosen horror's puzzle or gone with undyne to the core........)

[flufflecat]

Another day, another suspiciously yellow and black animal showing up that i have named Bill.

This poor injured swallowtail was in the backyard, so i offered him a variety of flowers then moved him to a safe spot since i cant really do more to help him. He kept trying to climb my arms, but i politely asked him not to try to crawl on my face and i think he agreed.

When I was grabbing some flowers down the road, there was also a flock of goldfinches flitting around the thistles to add to my yellow-animals tally, but i couldn't get any good pics of them.

Between the goldfinches that have shown back up for the first time since june, this butterfly, and Bill the Caterpillar (who has since crawled off somewhere), I'm starting to debate whether spending the past 2 weeks joking about being possessed by bill cipher was a good idea.

Also i came face to face with a deer while out alone last night and i didn't like the way she took a step toward me when i held my hand out. She bowed to me so i bowed back and after about a minute of staring she decided to wander away.

[opal-owl-flight]

Your Protege. (Pt 2)

(Pt 1)

SAME DAY DELIVERY. HERE WE GO.

This is the only time theyve shown such sheer anger in front of anyone. Theyre usually just cold, or disappointed -- never furious.

Its one of the times Neo3 actually feared the captain.

MORE NOTES ABT CUTTLEFISH BELOW

Not over how Cuttlefish is this fuckign loony old man who pushes his ideas on young 3, constantly goinf "yall kids think Im crazy but LOOK WHOS RIGHT FOR ONCE", "I cant fight anymore, thats why I got you!", "Youre hero material, kid! Youre gonna be big!!"

Then raves abt how the Octarians are evil

3, who was desperate for praise from someone who reminds them of their direct relatives, does everything he says to do just to be appreciated more.

Cuttlefish taught them how to fight hand to hand. How to move and think on their feet. (Though they were given similar in their younger years)

Cuttlefish was... generally more warm and supportive than their dad, but yknow. A lot of this started bc 3 agreed to work for him. Be his deadly weapon.

-------

Cuttlefish was more concerned abt the Zapfish than 3s well-being then... He knew that the constant praising was working so hes gonna keep doing it. (...mostly bc thats what worked on HIM back then)

After 3 does his dirty work, he realized he should probably keep the kid around bc his paranoia with Octaria is a damn bitch and this kid is one hell of an ass kicker. They dont mind. Right??

3 never showed any sign of wanting to leave. Why would they, he was so kind to them, more than their dad or grandad ever was. (Also the paranoia rubbed off on them. Oops!)

Then, he asked them to go on a longer patrol with him. Pushed them to their fucking limit. Bc of what?? Octaria making moves again? (Octavio did make moves but they were already, as we say in the game, "too far from the objective to really contribute to the fight". This is why agent 4 was dragged in.)

There, 3 saw more and more that hes just a loony old man who wanted to have a fancy weapon to protect him in his crusade. A crusade they never really questioned, mind you. Theyve no reason to believe Octaria was nice in any way, not when they keep trying to kill them. (...in self defense. They havent realized, yet.)

Then they encounter 8, who had dropped her weapon at the sight of them. Raising her hands in surrender. 3 was far ahead of the coot, and managed to actually talk to her and everything. They were this close to bringing her back to Inkopolis as a friend, until the bastard ruined the moment.

Cuttlefish still told them that she was a danger. It might be a trick! Dont put your guard down! Pressured to follow their superior, 3s mask returns to their face, turning onto 8 with the herl shot ready to fire.

Then they all tumbled into the metro.......

....for Cuttlefish to use yet ANOTHER kid (8) to get him out of a hairy situation.

--------

Hes a crazy old man. Only caring for any of the kids beyond the platoon after they do his dirty work.

Like "mmm! Thank you for committing the war crimes in my stead. Youre a good kid, you know that? Anything I can do to support you further? Mmmm???"

...I dont think hes aware.

Hes not aware that hes harming the entire platoon, bc in his mind hes doing the greater good here. Get some easily manipulable kids on the street, shower em with praise and promises of glory and valor, and theyll do ANYTHING for you.

Including the warcrimes you keep wanting to do.

I think...I think he doesnt know hes manipulating the kids. I think he genuinely believes his own promises. He glamorizes the valor of war bc hes a commander who sits in the back of it. He really believes that this is for the best. He believes that this is how you inspire your troops to fight.

--------

LETS GO THATS ALL MY NOTES I SPENT ALL DAY FINISHING THIS COMIC. GOODNIGHT INKOPOLIS!!!

[notedchampagne]

What makes a tlt au work for you? Do u have any favourites out there/that you’ve thought of?

its hard because it can go down to the writing! i have a huge bias for things that put focus on the characters acting awful and driving the story forward- if a story has a plot thats great, but its the difference between "gideon and harrow keep meeting up at parties and fall a little bit in love every time" and "gideons angry she lost her childhood to the cult so she attends a party with the tridentarii to shotgun adolescent experiences, and harrowhark, frustrated that gideon is pulling on her metaphorical leash, follows to stalk her". the former retains a 5+1 fic format and is more bite-size, while the latter puts more focus into their growth as characters. im not great at articulating what i like specifically, but ill put my favorite fics below:

what if nona was dogs tugs at my heart: its post-canon, slice-of-life, and has a unique concept (said in the title). i judged a book by its cover because i thought the premise seemed too silly at first but ive been made a fool and its pet clown. it feels so true to nona the way its about all the things nona loves and how she gets to explore the world through new eyes. i love the way it explores characters softening up and getting hurt through a third person pov

we have always lived in the apartment by @thatneoncrisis i keep saying this but for the love of GOD guys this au is so good it makes me cry and feel such a deep catharsis from it. it takes gideon and harrow and the ninth as a cult and explores their struggle to adapt to a modern society when noone ever gets a break (WOW ITS JUST LIKE IN REAL L-). quinn writes the sides of griddlehark i think go overlooked in fanfic often: their codependency, their tendency to lash out when theyre defensive, their mutual paranoia and different coping mechanisms, harrows psychosis and gideons bitterness, their relationships to each other as being the only other person who really understands what the other suffered through. god. i feel lightheaded.

"but SAM, i dont like angst but i want to see this writing!" read gap between a tragedy and a comedy

"SAM, i also like when gideon and harrow are horrible because theyre maladjusted teenagers! but i want more antics where the characters drive things forward over angst!" read whats eating gideon nav

you just aint receiving is one of my FAVORITE modern aus of all time (and i heavily recommend the authors other fics as well!) if you really want to see how much i love this fic the fact that my comments take up the entire phone screen probably says a lot. its hard to put it concisely: it keeps harrows air of misanthropy and cruelty but redefines it as the result of her upbringing and personal struggle to live in a university while dealing with a backpack of mental illness and frustration. it changes gideons personality as the daughter of john gaius in a way that makes sense having her grow up with johns middling parenting skills and getting everything she ever wanted (connecting it back to kirionas personality in ntn!). it brings in side characters (specially palamedes. my beautiful boy palamedes) in ways that compliment harrow and gideon but not so obviously that they only exist to be supports. they have their own lives and ideals. its a modern au that brings in the boiling politics of johns cult uprising once again in a really novel way

semi charmed kinda life by @griddlebait. jesuchristo and all his middle names this fic is GREAT for you if you want a slice of life, coming of age type modern au that explores what its like for gideon and harrow if they actually got the space to see who theyd become outside of the stifling fate tlt has for them. as far as modern aus go im usually very hesitant to read them because im afraid modernizing the characters takes features away from their core but i really love and respect the way the author treats the 69ers with care and draws distinct lines that shows me how their grow and change while keeping a line to the anchor. also they write HIDEOUS (complimentary) PINING. DISGUSTING. some of these chapters were so chock full of dyke drama that they made me nauseous and whimsical. i think once a friend said this fic felt like if gh could be reincarnated and i like that descriptor a lot

til the cows come home is another postcanon fic that made me feel sick and crybabyish about it- i would definitely recommend it if you want to explore a happier ending with griddlehark! with this and what if nona was dogs the thing i like most about them is that they mix up vulnerability with pain and fear, so it feels more lifelike that way if that makes sense. i lost my taste in fluff fics over time but when its interspersed with struggle and characters causing problems because they cant cope with themselves it feels much more earnest and raw

this became very long. im not sorry

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

Is “willingly unloved” canon to the roomates au?

yes, unless it is excplicitly stated all comics/ drawings under the hashtag r canon!

it was also a bit of a character study of ethan, i wanted to draw what i think he would act like after going through something as traumatizing as re8 and re7. a lot of the times ethan getting horribly hurt (arms/legs cut off) is either passed off as a joke of "haha he lost another arm" or passed off as him being a idiot being stupid. i wanted to explore how those things would affect him and how all his past relationships did as well. both mia and chris, two people he cared for and trusted broke his trust, mia on two different occasions. (pls dont turn this into a anti mia post lol, its just straight canon im just acknowledging what she literally did. what she did affects the people in her life, and this post is about ethan. it doesnt nesscarily matter what her intentions were since the execution was still horrible so pls dont get upset at me)

in re7 he suffers the consequences of someones lie, and it repeats in re8. i feel like he would be far more reserved after re8. he cant trust anyone and he now lives with the knowledge that he and his daughter r bioweapons and there organizations out there to get him. in this AU chris is helping by trying to return ethan to a normal life but after re8 ethan would not trust chris imo. not in a way where he thinks chris will turn him into the BSAA or whatever but more like hes worried that chris is possibly hiding something important or planning something he doesnt know.

he would have major trust issues and probably would have huge difficulty with opening himself up to another connection, especially since leon is friends with chris. ethan would probably be wary due to association.

after re8 he is left with nothing. his wife lied to him again, and the man who was suppose to protect him did a horrible job at it LOL. he has rosemary and thats it. and at any moment someone could take her for being a bioweapon. he would live a life of paranoia and stress trying to give rosemary and normal life while trying to keep her safe at the same time. i feel like getting divorced with mia would be the best option for ethan. as much as they loved each other it wasnt healthy. mia wanted to forget and move on while ethan knew nothing and wanted to understand more. its unfortunate i know. in re8 ethan has a book about weapons and says, "its not paranoia if theyre really out to get you."

its honestly so tragic 😭

in a more realistic way to canon, ethan was doomed to die in that village. a life after it all, after surviving re8 would be horrible. the BSAA is corrupt so hes stuck with chris trying to hide and live a normal life. theres no where for him to go.

BUUTTTTTT... in a cutesy AU where leon and ethan r roomates he gets to heal so yayy. ethan would definetly be very hesitant to open up to leon and would probably not trust him for a long time

for now its just him and rose

[the-s1lly-corner]

i really liked that “x reader who cries a lot” idea so can i have it with perhaps ragatha, kinger, gangle, and zooble, please? (sorry if that’s a lot at once)

also, is it okay to request this with other characters from different a fandom? specifically hazbin hotel? i’m not gonna send in the ask until this one is done because uhhh i feel no about that

Various TADC characters x reader who cries a lot

i prefer one fandom per ask so that things are kept neat + it makes it easier to divide into masterlists and stuff if that makes sense!/nm characters: ragatha, kinger, gangle, zooble notes: reader is GN, reader cries over everything for any reason not just out of sadness, very emotional in all the emotions cws: none

RAGATHA

gets used to it over time and learns to tell the difference between sad tears and happy tear and anything else... if theyre sad or angry she takes you to the side so you can recollect yourself.. likely to her room or outside

if theyre happy tears she tries to get into the vibe with you- whats got you so moved?

waits patiently for you to calm your tears when she gives you a gift, doesnt rush you and asks if you like it as a confirmation that you actually do like it

she doesnt cry much herself, she internalizes her feelings- youre the opposite, but sometimes you rub off on her and get her to release some of the stuff shes been hiding away

KINGER

so so so worried, it doesnt matter the context hes always going to ask if youre okay and if you need anything- instantly putting his hand on the back of your shoulder and rubbing circles into your back

did something happen? did someone say something? are you overwhelmed?

hes relieved if its not over something bad or negative, but hes still shaken up just a bit- he remains just a tad bit on edge for a while until you calm down

crying is just so often associated with something horrible happening that his first thought is that youre hurt in some way, coupled with his constant fear and paranoia...

GANGLE

no judgement from her, she cries a lot more than she would like and shes not going to make you feel bad for showing your feelings.. hell she might even cry with you depending on whats got you going

youre both a pair of softies, and theres nothing wrong with that!

gently tugs you somewhere if you need to dethatch from everything else in order to recompose yourself, shes there if you need her!

both worried and flattered if her art pieces move you enough to make you tear up- shes no master artist but it makes her feel a certain way

ZOOBLE

not very emotive, in fact they dont show off their emotions all that much even to you- even though youre both close to each other

but thats okay, you do more than enough to express your feelings to make up for it!

though, it did annoy them a little in the beginning when you were still new to the circus... not enough to make them fully dismiss you or find you as a person annoying! theyve since gotten used to it and accepted that this is just how you are + how you show and process your thoughts and emotions

paps your back to soothe you, does it out of habit due to the "crying is widely seen as something bad has happened"... it feels nice, though, even if you dont need comforting

[bringcal]

This was inspired due to wolfertinger666's post I've just reblogged, and will be a long one, but bare with me here.

I been on the internet like way too long and too young for my age, and I never understood spreading callouts. I don't think I ever have in my life. Before I even understood them as a tool used to socially kill trans people and push an agenda of anti-queerness, I always just thought the contents tended to be stupid, and vast majority of callouts often like to use different manipulation and deception tactics that the average person can easily be manipulated by. I think most abuse survivors can agree with me here that they have at least seen one callout in their lives where they have read and easily recognized what the person spreading the callout was doing was emotional manipulation.

I have always been that person who reaches out to the person subject of the callout to help them, and I've always been disgusted in the anti-critical thinking and pro-harassment sentiments surrounding callouts, because those are the exact same things that I've been subject to after being in an abusive relationship online.

When I talk to people victims of callouts, they often have the same fears as I do due to me being in an abusive relationship: Paranoia people are stalking you, not feeling safe to share anything, having to change identities to get away from the harassment, etc. And thats because people who make callouts and create harassment mobs use the same abuse tactics. I had to delete all my accounts, change names, interests, and stay off the internet for months to try and get away from my abuser, because he would stalk me and get others to do the same, and convinced everyone that I was the one being shitty. I stayed paranoid, and sometimes still do, that I will be "found" and messaged again even though its been 6 years since we broke up.

When you have experience yourself in this sort of thing, you realize people who change their identities to get away from callouts aren't trying to "get away" due to nefarious reasons. they just want to live and grow, they want an actual support system and to be better, and never consented to their faults being publicized, and a lot of the time their faults being put on them have never even happened, or are blown out of proportion. It started to click when you realize callouts often try their best to dehumanize the person at hand, and really try to hammer in the " born inherently evil" or "too far gone" point to get people to socially outcast their victims. It often works even with people who would normally be against that sort of thing, I notice a lot of people end up deleting the callout they helped spread later saying they don't actually care or realize how ridiculous the op is being, without realizing the op still got what they wanted. Callouts only spread if theyre able to get you to that " reactionary " level of emotion to manipulate you to just doing anything.

People don't realize that the thing theyre doing actually has lasting effects on the other person. The thing you reblog that you care about for 2 days and then forget will follow the other person forever, because TERFs and Kiwifarms motherfuckers are a different breed of passionate for harassment. My IRL bestfriend I've known for a decade has a girlfriend who made a joke 6 years ago that went viral that everyone took seriously and she still, to this day, gets messages harassing her. The joke wasnt even offensive or directed at anyone, people literally just hated her because she was a communist.

So anyways, I don't like callout posts and neither should you. Make no exception. Literally just keep it to yourself and gossip with friends. Reactionary harassment campaigns do nothing. You're one "fuck up" or one "walking into the wrong person" to getting one yourself. Don't allow callout makers to turn your brain off.

[moonshynecybin]

oh vale fucking marc in phillip island ‘15 for the first time, promptly freaking out, and latching onto uccio’s bullshit conspiracy just to find a way to drive marc away from himself… phew. you’re a genius i lovee the threesome au..

how would reconciliation work in that universe? would vale see marc getting cozy with an older man at the gala or someplace else and lose his mind? esp if the man has a girl w him who’s eyeing marc up and down? would marc think vale initially wants to go back to the first arrangement instead of just the two of them?

so many of my rosquez aus hinge on the beautiful race that is PI 2015. one of the sexiest races of all time and one where vale decided that marc was actually and genuinely EVIL based on uccio's extremely unbiased and not jealous at all opinion. BUT. uccio has never liked marc. has ALWAYS been suspicious of his and vale's relationship. and i think he would frankly have a LOT more of a leg to stand on if he had tried to break them up after assen 2015 instead imo... which makes me wonderrrr how long the uccio hate campaign had been germinating... whispering in vale's ear... turning the tides... moments in iago history.... etc. and i mean a BIG part of the reason vale's breaking point IS phillip island is because losing that title seemed a lot more realistic (three races left the pressure is ON. and marc is healthy so the field is more competitive) AND it was one of the greatest races of all time (WATCH ITTTT) and marc fucking WON it. vale used to be the kind of bitch who won that sort of thing. so its digging at his ego in lots of little ways that EYE imagine would be hard to swallow, and uccio identifies the chink in vale's armor here and exploits the FUCK out of it.

so i think. if im narrativizing this for gay sex reason which you KNOWWWW i am. that this is kind of the ideal point in a story to have vale flip out as much as possible. really dig into his neuroses. and one of the crazy parts of rosquez isnt JUST that vale is having an ego crisis its that hes having a crisis about CARING ABOUT MARC (also part of the reason it takes as long as it does for the paranoia to set in). thats why it suck so much! marc was his FRIEND ! (and he isnt friends with his rivals !!! think of that video where hes talking about bezz and pecco like. affectionately baffled about why theyre still friends?? this has never happened to him before!!! hes wigging out !!!) and so vale is ALSO heartbroken hereeeeee and thats part of why he gets as fucking mean as he does.

so in THIS au its them finally acknowledging that its not the girls that makes them keep fucking. its THEM. its EARNESTLY wanting each other outside of the heterosexual coolguy masculine just buddies threesomes that theyve been pretending are normal. pretending they havent been engineering them as social acceptable ways to get closer 2 each other. and once they break that seal and theres no more excuses. thats just too close for vale to keep a rival. and he implodes it.

[schizosupport]

this is going to be very long and rambly, i apologize. you can answer any, all, or no parts of it, i guess i just really need to blurt it all out to *someone*

for the past 3 or 4 years, ive been having mild (?) transient stress related psychotic symptoms. i suspect i have a cluster b pd which could possibly cover that

at first it was mostly paranoia i think ? usually the standard "theyre out to get me" type thoughts, both with people i knew and nebulous entities i couldnt define. it doesnt happen too frequently, but it seems to have gotten worse with time. this past fall / winter was especially bad bc i was already doing poorly mental health wise and was very isolated. a lot of the thoughts are still paranoia based, but some lean more towards delusions now (e.g. being afraid of the music i left to play from my phone speakers bc i felt it was hunting me down) as well as some that are fully bizarre (e.g. believing that ive been an angel stuck inside a human body my whole life, thinking theres a force field around my apartment thats keeping me stuck inside). for a while there was also this... pervasive sense of unreality almost ? like i would get frustrated that things werent operating on dream logic, or have difficulty differentiating dreams and reality in general. for the past couple months since then, ive had pretty much no issues

i always retain Some grasp on reality, whether its full on double booking or a vague sense of "something is wrong with me right now", which is enough for me to hide away from people and try to calm myself down and ground myself back to reality (... can you even do that with "real" delusions ? talk yourself out of them ?). the symptoms only last a few hours "at their peak", though the unsteady / unreality feeling may stick around for days or weeks surrounding that. im still able to be mostly functional for that part though. as such, nobody knows about any of this.

i just. i dont know. i dont have a therapist (i need one). im too afraid telling my friends will change their views on me irreparably even though they too struggle with (other) deeply stigmatized mental health issues. ive spent a lot of my childhood being called insane and incapable and i dont want it to happen again after ive finally found people that respect me. im worried ill have a full on psychotic break at some point (what the hell counts as "a break" ? can i call what ive been through "episodes" ?), or lose my ability to double book, or display symptoms in front of people i know. i just dont know what to do so im. spilling it out all here. so someone at all besides me knows

-- elias

Hey there,

Sorry it took me a while to get back to you.

It definitely sounds to me like you are experiencing some level of psychotic symtoms, and it sounds like it's causing you significant distress. You asked whether you can "talk yourself out of" a "real delusion" - and well, not as such, until the delusion passes, but they can be more or less long-lived and come with more or less insight.

The types of episode that only last a couple hours at full intensity are sometimes referred to as micropsychoses. When people talk about "a psychotic episode" it usually refers to a prolonged loss of reality that may last days, weeks or even months. But plenty of people on the schizo- and psychosis spectrum don't experience full-blown psychotic episodes. That doesn't make their psychosis un-serious, and it also isn't a given that these people will go on to develop worse psychotic symptoms.

I think one of the reasons the diagnosis of schizotypal exists, is because we needed to acknowledge that not every person's endpoint on the schizo-spectrum is schizophrenia, but that doesn't mean that their experience doesn't come with distress or disability.

I think you could try to do a vibe check with your friends to see how they react to the concept of psychosis and psychotic disorders. If they seem cool, then you could try to bring up your own experiences. It might be nice to be able to talk about those things, and get to experience that it doesn't have to be the end of the world, and not everyone will judge you for it.

I hope you all the best, anon!!

[cannibal-nightmares]

talking in tongues here Language and psychosis is so frustrating, and thats the topic of this post so this is going to be a bit jumbled. I'm going to write and not edit this much

physically Physically, it's very simple: sometimes it feels like it takes immense exertion to move your tongue to speak, to get your vocal chords to make noise. personally, sometimes it feels like the words feel like water spilling out out of your mouth. its exhausting to an extent I can't exactly describe.

internally Internally, it gets more complicated as it also applies to writing and also magical thinking. You have a lot of thoughts. A lot. And some of them dont even feel like your own. I've always described it as... Listening to your own internal ideas in your head, but theyre in a different language, and you have to translate them before saying them out loud. And then sometimes you get the translation wrong. Going back to physically, sometimes this means you stumble on your words and straight up accidentally say the wrong thing (anything from accidentally saying "chair" instead of "stair" because they sound similar, to utter nonsense that has no origin or relation), and sometimes it means mistranslating intention (not in emotionality--though that is an element at play--but in diction) idk if this is making any sense. Like saying "go right" when you were absolutely thinking and intending "go left." I think, similarly, an example is.. I can *barely* speak to my phone assistant. It's *really* difficult* for me to say out loud "Okay, Google, play 'Eternal Blue' by Spiritbox on Spotify," I just CANT get the thoughts in order. it's why I like going off-script. It's kind of faascinatiing when you see this happen in writing, though very time-consuming to catch and fix it all (too bad writing is one of my hobbies haha)

magical thinking here's the most prominent monster, in my opinion. Magical thinking and paranoia is what governs my writing and speech 100% of the time. One-hundred-percent-of-the-time. I know it plays a huge role in my introverted tendencies. it's where.. You say or write something and you think that because you've said it out loud or someone has heard it/read it, something will happen. This can be something so much as "I said the car will crash, so now it most definitely will" to, far more abstract, "I included the word 'granite' in describing something and now because i chose to use that word instead of something else, my food at home will be poisoned" (this is also a tell of OCD, btw).

anyways im making this post this because I think about having this discussion every time i mention things like "the geiger counter." Sometimes alternative wording feels safer to me. in this instance, "geiger counter" refers to "paranoia" or "I'm getting more paranoid." it gags me just to admit to it here. but I hope it paints a picture I know I'm missing some things I wanted to discuss (oof, there's an example, I wanted to use a different word other than "discuss" here), but everything is like static sludge rn. I hope this grants some insight to anyone.

[anonymous-dentist]

GOD I LOVE YOUR AU ok question time

- who is in the federation of heros? What founded the federation? Are they powered like cellbit?

- how is cellbit one of the first few born? I feel theres a science experiment plot caught in this and he broke containment. I wonder if he found this out due to being able to scare himself, and that fear immediately projecting to others, making THEM just as scared. Id imagine hed be diagnosed with severe paranoia/etc and then like. Oh SHIT its not. That. Oh fuck.

- what was that leadup that made him a supervillain? Something so minuscule yet so big as fear, to be considered one of the high villains of the city is insane. Some people would probably laugh it off an say physical destruction was scarier than mental, until they see what he actually does.

- who did he murder?????? I wonder if it was someone who defied the "everyones fears projected back to them" ability. Someone unaffected by this, like maybe their own ability counteracted it. One of the federations lower ranked heros attacked... as a citizen... i feel theres more than meets the eye here..... but of course it ended with murder. I feel there could be done with something of luzu and his look alike there.

- i still keep thinking about breaking dawn and how forever is also considered richas's dad, and just thinking about it being kinda switched in this scenario. Cellbit walked into forevers life again an now richas has another dad to annoy the piss out of. Though i do feel him an jaiden would be at each others throats in investigation. She would totally be a foh member to me. He tries to take down them through HER.

- why jaiden? Shes probably the most visible with her apparent ability. I imagine her having hummingbird like abilities. Flying at such a fast rate it can change the force of wind itself, etc etc etc (running on coffee an headaches atm sorrie) but she KNOWS something. She knows the foh is fucked up. She knows its dictating the definition of right an wrong, but she doesnt have the power (YET!!!!!!) to kill them from the inside out.

- heros who are seen as the light amongst the city, vigilantes who are the underbelly of a growing problem/an antibiotic refusing to kill the infection, and singular villain who wants to put a stop to it for all. God. I am jn love with this au im sorry can u tell

- and then theres fucking SPIDER MAN. nobody knows who he may work for since, by the logic of q city, if your a vigilante, your working for someone else directly related to the foh, and being sponsored as such. But theres no calling for spiderman, theres even active "have you seen this person" signs around the city, marking them as a non verbalized threat to the standing of foh. Cellbits key.

- now he needs to convince his friends to help him find spiderman. For....... research. Yes. Totally. He wishes to interview spiderman in hopes to figure out "who he works for", which not really. Hes not the best at lying, nor was he really trying. He wants to crack down the foh to its rotten core.

- he even tries to ask roier for help at some point, right? He talks about the signs around the city, says its a shame that hes on a watch list- and how he swings around to actively web heros against the walls to stop them from hurting another person.

- and its convinent theyre on a coffee date (cellbit didnt even notice, roier did, an hes just awkwardly like... hahahahabah thats really weird why would spiderman stop him but also yeah i get that- why would thet get rid of MY hero <:((("

- cellbits subconsciously like. Shit. Pretty boy is pouting about the vigilante. More reason to find the motherfucker.

SORRY ITS SO LONG ENJOY THE RAMBLEEEE

WOW OKAY so let’s see:

1. It’s a lot like the Federation from the canon qsmp, but it’s also more overtly focused on ��Protecting the City’ from superpowered threats. It stepped in to fill the shoes of the former police state, and by getting rid of the majority of police officers it both opened up opportunities for villains (and thus heroes and thus the Federation) and for heroes (see: previous parentheses.) The founder is anonymous, a “Mister Duck”.

2. I’m actually lowkey playing by MHA rules. Basically, at some point a couple of decades ago, kids started being born with superpowers. It was the more obvious ones that were discovered first, like a girl in France being born with little duck wings. Cellbit’s ability is less obvious, but his parents were constantly overly worried about him because babies and children are always very very scared of everything. Eventually he realized what was up when he was around nine or ten, but he didn’t really tell anybody because even back then he knew that he would “get in trouble” for it.

3. As for villainy, it was an accident. He needed money after his parents died (of sudden heart attacks, and he pretends he doesn’t know what that actually means), and he isn’t a very intimidating guy on his own, so he kinda… helped himself out a little. And it worked super well, so he kept doing it. And he kept doing it. And then he started going a bit overboard with it and the people he was robbing started dying, too.

4. And as for the murder, Cellbit and the hero were both civilians when they got into an argument. The hero, new to the whole thing, ended up using their ability and actually attacked him. He attacked back, notably without using his ability, and he accidentally killed them. The Feds were NOT happy about this, so they messed with the court proceedings and got him sent to prison for three years. But, hey, at least he got therapy there?

5 and 6. Jaiden is 100% working with the Federation in this au. She and Spider-Man are taking very different approaches to what is fundamentally the same issue here. I think her ability is more parrot-y, but she does work for them now. (It’s a very recent development.)

8-10. Spider-Man is a fan-favorite and the Federation does NOT appreciate him ruining their image!! And he knows that he isn’t well liked by them at the moment, and he doesn’t care because it’s fine if Spider-Man dies. He has a job to do, and he is going to do it.

11-end. And it’s a good thing that Cellbit is such a big Spider-Man fan! It’s something Roier thinks they can use to bond. Definitely. Bonding.

…Can you tell superhero aus are my guilty pleasure lol

[schizotypalpd-culture-is]

i’ve noticed there’re a lot of overlaps between STPD & ASD. do you have any advice with maybe differentiating between the two? anyone who has both willing to share their experiences and stuff?

(can i claim 🔫? i have a feeling i’ll be here a lot lmao)

yes u can claim! i wanna start this off by saying im NOT a professional and you shouldnt take what i say as fact!! this is just my knowledge. if i get anything wrong please tell me and if anyone wants to add anything its greatly appreciated :3 /gen a big way to differentiate between the two is autism is a developmental disorder that you're born with, but stpd is a schizo-spec personality disorder thats formed. because its a personality disorder it usually shows up in the 10-20 yr old area. it doesnt usually form when youre as old as 20 but for some people its hidden really well until theyre older. autism symptoms will be present when youre very young, causing communication difficulties, interaction difficulties, repetitive behaviors, sensory problems, stuff like that. stpd symptoms will show up later on, and will have symptoms like paranoia, odd speech/behavior, odd beliefs, ideas of reference, stuff like that. autism and stpd can overlap in the ways of the odd behaviors clothing and thinking, but USUALLY with stpd it comes out from magical type thinking and with autism it comes from the person not thinking and living in the same way. i have both autism and stpd (autism prof dx and stpd self dx) and they definitely overlap and mingle, but a lot of times i can tell them apart. social anxiety can come from both, but i can tell the difference because autism social anxiety for me is not wanting people to view me as different or laugh at me and stpd social anxiety is thinking people are out to get me. it is pretty nuanced though and everyone has different experiences :3 i would explain more but im a bit low on spoons rn so heres some articles i found

Is This Schizoid Personality Disorder, Autism, or Both? (psych central)

[Differential diagnosis between Schizotypal Personality Disorder and Autism Spectrum Disorders: a case report] (national library of medicine)

How Are Autism and Schizotypy Related? Evidence from a Non-Clinical Population (national library of medicine)

what are the differences between autism and schizotypal personality disorder? (reddit post on r/autism)

[rustpuppy]

lexs last wife mind controlled him with pheromones and tried to kill him and his last girlfriend before that tried to steal company secrets from him and slept with his dad. id argue his romantic history combined with lionel being lionel make this perfectly reasonable behavior on his part

ITS NOT PARANOIA IF THEYRE REALLY OUT TO GET YOU