#its nice to have a new character to play around with on an alt in the meantime

[narwhalandchill]

long time no alt account moment smh

Anyway! so yeah ended up with a bit of an impulse pull of emilie here - im by no means like, crazy about her or her design (VA direction in english also being what it is. combat lines especially. the rest is fine) but i had a guarantee left over for attempting furina c1 for this acc and with no particular interest in the 5.0 characters and emilie herself being a pretty solid off fielder (my alt has. way too many on fielders JKJKWJKWDJKD) who has synergies with units like neuvi and arle i was just like. why the hell not. shes still cute and i do love the green color theme a bunch

(she also came early!!!! i had 29 pity when i did my first and only ten pull needed and she dropped at 31 pity which is very nice obviously lmao)

but yeah another part of this sudden emilie inspiration is that somehow this account on my way to a decent arle build had managed to roll what is like. a fairly insane 3p of the burning set and today i rolled a very nice off-piece dendro goblet and so i went to myself all. well okay with these artifacts ready to go if i now go get a crit rate circlet from reverie (ANY CR circlet at all mind you) then it combined with my skyward spine is like. a respectable enough build right out of the box for emilie so like sure. get me that and ill pull

...and then i got this before even a single 5* circlet of ANY mainstat from reverie after like 12 condensed resins worth of runs 😭😭

like welp okay i suppose it was meant to be KJWJKWJKAJKW . and genuinely this is better than ANY dendro goblet i even have on my main like . What . but guess i cant complain lmao . literally rolled this and went ahead and pulled immediately wjjkdjkdwjkd

[spiribia]

i'm thinking of getting into gw2, is it true that it feels less addictive than other mmos? i want a game where i can have fun exploring like in botw but i don't want to feel like i have to spend all my free time doing dailies and upgrading gear and stuff

the good news for you is gw2 has no 'gear treadmill' - reaching maximum level is its Prologue, and any gear you can equip at that point will remain just as optimal as it is then for the rest of the game, for all time. you can equip the best gear, go on hiatus for several years, and come back, and it will still be the best, most relevant gear in the game. so it's not beholden to the situation in many mmorpgs where progressively 'better' gear is released in the interim, meaning you will have catch-up work to do.

a lot of gameplay progress also unlocks account wide (vs. being restricted to individual characters), so if you grind once to obtain a cosmetic, mastery skill, or mount on one character, it will automatically become available on all your alt characters, regardless of their own level or progress. if you're someone who enjoys multiple characters in an mmo, there are many tasks that you will never have to repeat in order to have them on a different character unless you want to experience them again.

though it's not a game bereft of the potential for tedious grinding. these things are more intended by the devs to be optional long term projects, but there are dailies and weeklies or optimal farming areas where abiding by these can shorten what already may be a literal months long grind for your project, so you may feel compelled to follow these routines. this is mostly endgame content that players seeking stuff to do will pick up, and i don't think this really clips into the first time story / exploration experience of a newer player. in fact, a lot of the currency for stuff like this can be accumulated by just spending time around the maps doing whatever you like, so by the time a lot of players decide to pick up legendary crafting, for example, they'll find they already have passively accumulated a nice chunk of what they need.

largely it's stuff that is not mandatory to the game. my biggest grievance is that flying mounts are locked behind moderately rough grinds because they were meant to be a sort of high-end, optional novelty, but with so many years elapsed since their release, so many players have them that they have become optimal for keeping up with the group in a lot of farming maps. this is one case where though you can technically navigate the maps without a flying mount, you may feel obligated by the social landscape to do this 'optional' grind anyway.

SORRY my long post. the game itself is quite casual and lenient. it wants anyone to be able to participate in its story and maps. whether or not there is time-eating grind in the game will ultimately depend on what you choose to pursue in it. it's definitely possible to play without it, but where it's there, it is definitely there. i would encourage new players to not even look into farming until they're all caught up with the storyline etc., as the more perks / skills / maps you unlock over the course of it, the easier and easier efficient farming will get. it will feel much more hostile when attempted by someone just starting out, and you don't need that stuff to play through all the content.

[fujobritta]

weird storytime and an abed analysis (abednalysis ?)

in s1e17, physical education, abed says that he didnt mind changing for other people because hes comfortable with who he is . a season later, in s2e19, critical film studies, he says instead that he doesnt like change . and now i realize what he really meant when he said that he didnt mind changing .

when i was younger, around 11-12, i would pretend to be other people online . more than five different separate identities in one discord server . because i wanted people to like me more . i made these alt accounts and assigned each one a personality, a different typing style, a reason for joining, a region, and a timezone . and for the most part, they were people who were nicer and just generally likeable . because im not someone who is any of those things . i am not a nice person . i dont even think im a good person . and god i am not likeable . at all .

so i played these characters . most of them only being active for short periods . i would have full back and forth conversations with these alt accounts to sell it . i had these weird insane elaborate plans . a 16 year old former drug user, lives in manitoba, somewhat parental . 13, california, liked minecraft and drawing -- completely different artstyle (and different software) too . etc .

i would let these accounts bake (make them and then not use them) so that it didnt seem suspicious with a brand new account joining the server . then i would spend a week making the account and forming a character to go with it, sometimes asking people to help me out . it was so fucking crazy . i was insane . might still be .

…yeah i probably still am .

i was such a better person on those different accounts . because i didnt know how to change on the inside, i just started over and over again . different account, new me . like i was experimenting with who i really wanted to be like . formulating the perfect person to act like when i finally decided that i wanted to become a better person .

i gave up eventually obviously . im not a tween anymore . i was a really weird tween . obviously . but i think about it a lot .

honestly i only went back to being myself because it was comfortable . i felt better being a fucking douche . and i still am a douche . im not a good person . i dont think ill ever be a "good person" . what the hell is a good person, anyways . all i know is that im fine with myself like this . even as much as i not-so-secretly hate myself, and deny it out of fear of seeming like an "edgy attention seeking loser" .

its not that abed doesnt mind change, he just doesnt mind changing the persona . he doesnt mind changing the person showing on the outside . a separate identity . but ultimately, he wouldnt ever fundamentally change as a person . because hes fine with who he is, even if other people might not like him for that . and i want to be like him . i want to be someone who is fine with who they are, even if that someone is a socially inept ass who learned tenth grade math at age ten but cant figure out when their own face is making a smile or not .

[p-wrryyy-mordial-soup]

Hiiii :3 heres my pack of losers (my x-rank team) because i needed ghost to actually have a team :]. heres a link to all my splatoons on toyhouse

seperate refrences, little blurbs about them and color alts where they all share eachothers colors below the thang v enjoy my word vomit idk how to write character stuff out teehee

sorry his ref is a year old and rushed for artfight </3 also the age is wrong i think i changed it to 23

he's from around where the deepsea metro is/was. had to leave because of unstable surroundings from an unknown to him cause. he's best friends with Rust and her kids, im gonna be honest i haven't actually thought through how they met and ive just realized this oops. since he spent most of his life underground and now lives in the splatlands he gets sunburnt way too frequently to not be covered up constantly, though he wears thing like tank tops and shorts during splatfest since those mostly occur during the night.

He met wisteria and ember first and then 72. they didnt apoint him as leader nor do they really care to have one but he's the tallest so everyone assumes its him. he's the most softspoken out of the 4 of them but thats a really low bar, he has a hard time making decisions but once he does he will die on that hill

(since its not on his ref like the other three)

72 escaped the metro before agent 8 went through it, he had found a memcake that was dropped after a test giving him just a clear enough mind to think for himself some. he ended up finding his way out after a while of accumulating a couple more memcakes, barely any where his though so hes walking around with memories that aren't his. It also took him a while to get used to the fact he isnt a soldier nor a test subject anymore. If he saw another sanitized mollusk he'd probably hide or run away </3.

72 met Ghost while after wandering around the area for a while, and ended up crashing in his car the whole time on ghosts way back to the splatlands (he thought 72 was like, drunk or something since he was tumbling around and seemed to be not the most coherent). he doesnt blink or breath unless hes actively thinking about it :[.

he had a hard time discerning things for a while but hes gotten better, at first he thought ember was just a weird octoling because she wears the old octoling goggles. we beat the evil soap with friendship in this house!!!

personality wise hes pretty hyper and cheerful which isnt usually your first thought upon seeing a zombie, forgot his age but hes an adult, he was encouraged to pick his own birthday :]

I have the least down for him at the moment, there will be more on her prommy </3 she's 21

She's a callie superfan with a vulgar sense of humor, usually the one who purposefully makes other players angry. born and raised in the splatlands she knows all the places to hide and get you lost in.

he's been friends with ember the longest, they where online friends until ember moved to splatsville. was introduced to ghost and 72 later by ember, he likes to antagonize 72 (think sibling antagonizing, theyre both in on it). down to fist fight you in the back of a waffle house

Originally from the inkopolis outskirts, they're 31

Ember's both a video game and turf/anarchy streamer, she has camera in their goggles for the latter. bad habit of talking in twitch/internet lingo outside of streaming. Once she has eyes on something its nearly impossible to get her to do something else. Very friendly outside fighting, will give you nice words and a pat on the back after a game whether they won or not.

met ghost while playing turf war in a random que, he was, in her words, "a bit to intense to be playing in turf" and told him after the game that he should try out anarchy, he was scared of it since he was new to the area. they ended up teaming up and playing a couple games together, later inviting wisteria and eventually 72.

theres def more to these guys but it will take me a long time to get the words in my head to cooperate 🙏im better at answering specific questions about things then coming up with what to write myself

have some color alts :3

[jessenigma]

My Favorite New Manga Reads of 2023

For the past few years on twitter, I've made threads of some of my favorite manga and light novel reads from the past year. This year, I decided I would move it over to two tumblr posts.

After the cut are some of my favorite titles that I picked up for the first time in 2023.

Talk to My Back, Yamada Murasaki

I like to pick up something a little more unusual at least once a year and so at the beginning of this year, I picked up this 1980s alt-manga title about the life of a Tokyo housewife played out in short vignettes. It's a frustrating read because of how real it feels and how much it feels like things haven't changed as much in the last 40 years as I'd like, but it's all the more fascinating for it. The essay at the end discussing Yamada Murasaki's work and placing it in context was a nice bonus too.

When a Cat Faces West, Yuki Urushibara

I love Yuki Urushibara's Mushishi (slow though I have been to actually finish it), so when Kodansha announced a license for Urushibara's much shorter series, I was there for it. It has a cool concept - there are areas of "flow" that will pop up out of nowhere and shift people and places out of time and space and one guy has tasked himself with helping people fix issues caused by it - but mostly it feels like Mushishi but set in the present day. I love a series that's just vibes all the way down.

Skip and Loafer, Misaki Takamatsu

I was absolutely smitten with the Skip and Loafer anime, so when it ended with what felt like a pretty definitive "we are not making a second season of this" final episode, I started the manga. A high school slice of life series lives by its characters and Mitsumi is the more adorable dork ever. The other characters are equally delightful, even when I don't necessarily like them, and I'm so eager to dive deeper into their lives.

Associate Professor Akira Takatsuki's Conjecture (light novel), Mikage Sawamura

This series feels a bit like what you'd get if you crossed The Case Files of Jeweler Richard and The Night Beyond the Tricornered Window: a college student with a supernatural ability to hear lies that alienates him from everyone meets a folklore professor with a mysterious past fascinated by mysteries, and together they investigate possibly-supernatural events. It's a bit silly, but the relationship between the leads is interesting and there's a lot of fun urban legends in the mix. There's also a manga adaptation that I haven't yet picked up, but maybe one day...

March Comes in Like a Lion, Chica Umino

I was curious about this one from the second Denpa announced the license just because of how much I'd heard about the series for years now, and it did not disappoint. I love a good story about a depressed and lonely teenage boy sublimating his feelings into an obsession with a uniquely Japanese pastime, especially when there's so many people around him wanting to help him stop being alone. Now I just wish that the release wasn't quite as slow as it has been, even if I know the many reasons why...though at least I still have the anime to rewatch while I wait.

Don't Call It Mystery, Yumi Tamura

After reading Basara and Wild Com, I was eager to get my hands on a newer series by Yumi Tamura, and the fact that it's a modern-day non-fantasy series made it all the more interesting. Totonou's incessant observations about the things going on around him are delightful, especially when they lead him straight into all kinds of dangers or even just leave everyone around him wishing he'd stop talking for about five seconds. I just want to pat him on the head and ask him to make me some curry.

After the Rain, Jun Mayuzuki

I got a card for the Japan Foundation's ebook library not too long ago, which has been great for picking up a lot of books that aren't available in my local library's collection, including this series. I had heard about it but was a bit hesitant because it's about a teenage girl who gets a crush on her much older boss...but hey, why not give it a try from the library? I'm glad I did because there was such a sweet relationship between them that ultimately helped them both out of the ruts they were in with their personal lives and dreams.

River's Edge, Kyoko Okazaki

I still can't decide if I actually enjoy Kyoko Okazaki's work or not, but I got a little closer to it with River's Edge. It's a harsh story about disaffected teenagers who find a dead body, but somehow it feels less depressing than the other works of hers I've read because they're teenagers and there's still the possibility that they can escape the lives that are dragging them down. I will say this - Okazaki's stories are never boring, whether I enjoy them or not.

Her, Tomoko Yamashita

I got a little overambitious this year and ordered the Italian release of a Tomoko Yamashita title I've been wanting to read for years. Can I read Italian? No. Did I think maybe I could figure it out kinda okay because I've studied French and Spanish? Yes. Did I end up reading everything through a translation app? Also yes. But this collection of interconnected stories about women and relationships was excellent despite the language barrier. I was thrilled to finally see the context for the kiss between a younger woman and an elderly woman that I so admired in Yamashita's 15th anniversary artbook, and its story was a touching exploration of what "normal" means. I would love to see this in English, but unfortunately I can't see it getting picked up.

Glitch, Shima Shinya

I was thrilled that Yen Press decided to pick up another title from Shima Shinya after Lost Lad London, and Glitch has been well worth my time. While it is a fantasy story about a town full of glitches in reality that I'm excited to see play out fully, what really caught my eye is the sheer amount of diversity in the characters - one of the leads is nonbinary, there are mixed race characters, there's a lesbian couple, etc. It's all part of the story but not in a didactic way, which I appreciate immensely. Shinya's art also makes me so happy, and I hope Yen continues to get more of their work.

Lilies and Voices Born Upon the Wind, Renmei

Speaking of diversity in characters, I enjoyed this series not only because it was a nice yuri with a motorcycle lesbian (always a bonus in my book, the motorcycle) but because it had some really thoughtful discussion of asexuality in multiple forms. I wish I could've gotten one of the printed copies that were available for purchase at one con, but alas.

Witch Hat Atelier Kitchen, Hiromi Sato & Kamome Shirahama

Did we really need a cooking series spinoff of Witch Hat Atelier? Probably not. Am I glad we got it in English anyway? Absolutely. This is basically an Olruggio/Qifrey slowburn domestic au fanfic and I adore it. And I love that they keep up the conceit about magical ingredients in each chapter's recipe, even though they are legit recipes you can actually make with the real ingredients recommended as substitutions. What Did You Eat Yesterday? but with witches, clearly an ideal combination.

Scribbles, Kaoru Mori

I am not actually a diehard fan of Kaoru Mori's work - I drifted away from A Bride's Story when I ran out of volumes at the library - but I do unabashedly adore her art. Scribbles is just perfect for me with its pages from her sketchbooks and her commentary about things like the ideal skirt tightness. I bought this in hardcover and all and will continue to get the other volumes in hardcover even though I almost always get Yen Press titles digitally because it's so much cheaper that way, that's how much I like it.

Innocent, Shin'ichi Sakamoto

I've had my eye on Shin'ichi Sakamoto's work for a while because I saw a bunch of panels from Innocent on here and fell in love with the art. What I did not expect was that the violently erotic story about a French executioner would actually get an English license. It's gorgeous and violent and weird and I am so here for it. Now, if I could just be sure that Dark Horse actually plans on releasing the whole thing...

Barbarities, Tsuta Suzuki

Much like with Innocent, I saw panels from Barbarities on here ages ago and wished I could read it without much hope, given the lack of other licenses for Tsuta Suzuki's bl since SuBLime's relicense of A Strange & Mystifying Story ages ago. But thankfully I am getting to read this nebulously historical drama with all of its social machinations and pretty men getting flustered by other flirtatious pretty men. And such nice clothes!

A Home Far Away, Teki Yatsuda

Kuma really gets some stellar licenses and A Home Far Away was especially good. Set in 1990s America, it reminded me of nothing so much as My Own Private Idaho crossed with Banana Fish and made me weep absolute buckets in the end. I don't think it's for everyone, but if you were ever an aficionado of depressing 90s queer cinema like I once was, this might be one for you.

À vos cotés [Tonari ni], Basso

I was shocked when the announcement for the French release of this title crossed my twitter timeline earlier this year - France has even less by Natsume Ono than the US does, but one of their publishers managed to get one of her actual bl titles published under her bl penname? So naturally, I had to get it. It's super sweet, about a young man who likes to take photos of horses at a racetrack who meets a much older man, and I swear reading it was just like reading her non-bl work only this time the two characters actually got to say their feelings out loud. This would be a perfect addition to several mainstream US publishers' bl lineup, and I would be the first in line to buy it if they did license it in English.

Dear, My God, Nemui Asada

More by Nemui Asada in English! I love Asada's work for its unique storylines and this one didn't disappoint, with a story about a priest having sex with a cult member to help save him and another story about a guy who ends up with a talking plant. It's a bit disappointing that it's only available on futekiya - when will we get some of these titles in print already?

Ikigami & Donor, Hiko Yamanaka

Hiko Yamanaka is another one whose work is always a bit outside the mold, and Ikigami & Donor is an interesting sci-fi bl about powerful "living gods" who have tremendous abilities but can't heal from injuries without blood, bodily fluids, or tissues from one specific donor. It's a fascinating concept and the way the relationship between one ikigami and his donor played out made for an interesting story. I hope to see more from Yamanaka one day.

[the-lost-beast]

Trivia: Drawing Akah-El

🍂 All pictures have images descriptions. Click alt.

Oak's (Akah-El, never mind the misspelled name on the sheet) design was the one I struggled the most with. Drawing birds is much easier, who would've thought.

First, here are the earliest design I made for Oak. Dates back to 2020, during lockdown.

Hair down then up. First drawing I ever made of Oak. They were a much different character back then and I wasn't really happy with how they turned out, but looking back now, I think these drawings are pretty good for a first try. It set most of the features they still have now. As you can see on the research sheet below, I played around with their hair a lot and it took a while for me to ditch the strand of hair on the right side of their face - I think, for the best.

Oak's scar was established pretty early. I wasn't sure about the feathers at the time but ended keeping them. Got rid of the big ones on the forehead though. Idk. Might bring them back.

Giving a character recognisable features is just something I usually struggle with and Oak was no exception. The Hebra being people of the mountain and cold weather, I knew quite early on I wanted to base their design off the Inuits. That ended up evolving into something quite different that's really just my own style but the inspiration is still there. None of the sketches on this page really fitted what was on my mind. The big one at the centre helped me define the nature of their hair, its colour, and how the feathers would look like. The green ends on the hair and red outline on the eyes were ideas that came with the new design and were based off Kíran's. Hesitated on making their eyes red. The sketch labelled 'Rito style' still looked too Caucasian for my liking.

Same thing with this sketch on the the left. The face was not what I wanted, but it's still a good sketch to show their body features: Oak has wide hips and strong limbs from climbing. Their feet are sort of scaled and look like not fully-formed talons. They have feathers growing along their arms and calves and their body hair is dark green.

The one on the right at least set me on the path of what I wanted for the face and hairstyle.

Tried a different face and eyes shape and this happened. Something clicked. I think it was the eyes. I tried drawing them higher up on the cheeks. The left one was still too Caucasian.

So then I drew this and it was super satisfying. Like when you can put a name on a face you'd thought you'd forgotten,

I love Oak´s nose and scar. They have a flat, rounded nose due to their former beak growing on top of it.

The Hebra and Rito outfits were a nasty piece of work and even now I'm not satisfied with how they turned out. For now, Oak´s Rito outfit consists merely of their Hebra trousers and the Rito breastplate they sell for Hylians. The fabric they wear is obviously Kíran's. Their hair is also loose as opposed to the ponytail they wear in their Hebra outfit. There´s a small mistake: they shouldn't be wearing the shoulder pads because they are an indication of a Rito's skills, according to whether they're still an apprentice or an accomplished warrior.

I went for that overlayered look with the Hebra outfit, hoping to recreate something in the style of the Inuits, again, although trying to keep it Zelda-like. I went back to the artbook and clothes references a lot while drawing this. There is much inspiration from the Sheikah, including their prior iterations. The Hebra outfit is meant to keep them warm but its moveable layers are meant to be adaptable. Given Hebra do a lot of climbing and goign in and out of caves, where the temperature is milder, I wanted to create an outfit that would easily adapt to all these apsects of their daily lives. Oak wears a face mask to hide their bird-like features but I don´t know yet if that´s just a common piece of the Hebra outfit.

I like the triangular motive. It gives off a nice touch to the outfit and is meant to be reminescent of the mountains. I figured Hebra probably use polar bear furr to make their clothes, hence the beige/white/grey colour scheme. But I also wanted the Hebra outfit to be easily recognisable as that of an enemy, hence the touch of red.

I kind ruined Oak´s face with the colouring but I'm thinking on touching the illustration up later, digitally.

Overall, I think I succeeded in showing Oak´s duality in their features. They're probably still going to evolve as I grow more confident with my drawing skills, but for now I´m proud of the result.

Bonus sketches in terrible quality.

I know I said I´d post this back in early November but I love lying, now who knows when the next chapter might be dropping.

[kat-hawke]

WoW, Dragonflight: A Review

As some people already know, whether it be from within my limited social circle or catching a glimpse of Kat in the wild, I have been playing through Dragonflight for the last 3 weeks. As a disclaimer, I did not pay for the expansion or game time, it was a gift. So I took this time to form my thoughts around the game and its changes without the bias of "I paid money for this, so I feel like I should like it".

Below are my opinions and current review of World of Warcraft Dragonflight that nobody asked for, but I'm providing anyway. Read at your discretion.

Opening thoughts:

Dragonflight, much like previous expansions, has all these new and shiny features to reel you in and, in hopes, get you hooked. The thing here is to look beyond the surface-level shiny polish when you first get started to determine whether this was a change for better or worse. There are many quality-of-life improvements to the game this time, making it much more alt-character friendly and less grindy. But there are also new mechanics that work only for the new content and could create issues for old content, or future content, if not appropriately addressed.

Additionally, can Blizzard stick to this course of listening to the fan base, or will they go back to old ways like we saw in Legion where the opening of the expansion is just fan service to lock in long sub times, and then the wheels fall off? This, right now, feels like fan service to me.

Dragon riding:

It's neat, it's cool, and it's a shiny new feature that is appealing from the trailers and video footage. But does it hold up? Well, yes, but not at first. Dragon riding, early on, is tedious and a chore, and rather lackluster. Fortunately, your progress in unlocking dragon riding skills and abilities is account-wide, so you only have to experience the worst pains once. Making the navigation much easier on alts.

Navigating some zones is easier than others. Azure Span, for example, is one big hill. Flying from east to west in the first playthrough is nice as it's downhill. But flying west to east, all uphill is frustrating if you lack upgrades. Once you spend a few hours collecting all the relics and progressing the story to fully unlock every skill and ability for dragon riding, it's fun and makes the navigation much smoother. There is a learning curve for how to manage your vigor, but you get there.

Dragon riding is a nice feature for this expansion, even if it's almost a carbon copy from Guild Wars with Spyro mini-games. However, it raises some concerns about repeatability and zone scaling. It makes perfect sense for Dragon Isle, but what I don't want to see is this feature getting replicated in every subsequent expansion like we have seen with other niche expansion features (mission tables, renown, companions/buddies). Doing so will make it stale in taste and no doubt run into a rut as they try and "spice it up" to whatever the expansion theme is.

Onto the issue with zone scaling. I'm curious if these zones were designed so large to accommodate Dragon Riding, or if Dragon Riding forced them to scale larger. I'm willing to bet it was somewhere in the middle. Because of the speed at which you can fly once maxed out in skills and abilities, this creates a massive issue for old-world scaling, if they ever wanted to enable Dragon Riding in old zones. I just don't see this as feasible, even as the community asks for it, and I don't see Blizzard willing to do the work to rescale old zones to be canonically proper and fit the scale that the Dragon Isles has set. These new island continents started to dwarf the so-called "mainland" at this point.

Professions:

This was a much-needed refresh on the professions, in my opinion. It brings back that old feeling of specialization and creates an economy where crafters rely on each other just as much as everyone else. It keeps prices in balance and everyone happy, preventing one person with several alts from tunneling their own goods. Unless they make even more alts to cover all the niche specializations.

It's also nice to see that players can make a name for themselves as "that person who makes the best" of something because they specced into a specialization and dedicated time to it. These folks have a tight market right now and can charge what they want, but as others catch up it will even out and become more open.

Side note: I think this creates nice Roleplay opportunities as well, being able to back up a claim that your character is specialized in making something in particular, and gives market events new depth and meaning.

Content:

PvE...look it's the same as it's always been. Nothing feels much different here and I didn't expect it would. You run around the world, dungeon, raid, and spam your rotation buttons until something dies. It is what it is.

PvP/Warmode. So it's interesting to me that there are gear sets for instanced PvP and a set for Warmode. I haven't seen a performance difference between the two, so the Warmode set right now does not feel like a good investment. Tuning in PvP is always interesting but it feels solid right now, despite what some folks will say when they are biased toward their own skill level only. The solo shuffle for Arena is a good addition I feel, but it can be a mixed bag. If you want to play this mode, do so with a grain of salt because it's 6 rounds and goes until the first kill per round, swapping the team members around each time.

Roleplay. Yeah, I mean. It's there. We all know some people are going to be heathens and bastardize stuff while ignoring lore. But that's not the point of this, I'm looking at RP potential for the Dragon Isles. It is certainly there, much more potential for RP than Shadowlands. Exploration-based characters, historians, and even more profession-based characters have somewhere to be here. With the military non-existent, you will need to find a reason, though.

Overall story? Yeah, it's much more enjoyable than Shadowlands, I will say that. We're not going hard on retcons and rewrites this time around, which is nice. Seeing existing characters and races get much more screen time than they previously did is also nice. This ancient evil that the titans hid away, making us question the motives, is on brand for them. After all, people who are all about "order" will achieve it by any means, good or bad. This is much more digestible than some cosmic bigger-bad like we've been chasing for the last, well, forever in expansions.

During an interview, it was revealed that quest writers were handed bullet points for a zones story and told to fill in the rest. This, honestly, explains a lot about the previous expansions and why the zone stories felt so divorced from the main over-arching story. However, that does not seem to be the case here as everything ties up together nicely. But, some of the side quest storylines definitely feel more well-rounded than some of the full zone stories.

You also only need to experience this linear progression once. Any alt character playthroughs you can select which zones to go to and when, and have instant access to the world quests. Speaking of those...

World Quests:

Much better executed this time around than their previous iterations. With them resetting on Tuesdays and Fridays only (world PvP and pet battle is still daily) it doesn't feel like you have to grind out several hours' worth of content each day. You can play at your own pace and work through 1 zone a day rather than all of them at once. The bigger WQs, such as the world boss and group assaults, reset only on Tuesday so you have a full week to do them.

World events such as the Community Feast, Elemental Storms, Dragonbane Assault, and Primalist future have several-hour cooldowns between so it's not a constant farming grind and you can get them done when you feel like it.

Renown:

Honestly, I'm still not a fan of this system. It was "neat" in Shadowlands at first but got old fast. At least this time around the rewards are, mostly, cosmetic and have little impact on gameplay. Some quests are locked behind renown levels, however, and getting the rep is still a bit of a chore, but only the first time. Luckily there is a nice catch-up bonus unlocked for alts when you meet the required renown on your main character. There isn't much to say here. It's how the rep works, and you just have to deal with it. If you pick up a contract for a faction on Tuesday and go through the world quests, you'll complete them in a reasonable time.

Closing Thoughts:

All-in-all the expansion seems to be starting off strong (though Shadowland sets the bar pretty low). My concern is that this will be a fan service period, throwing all this new shiny stuff with thought-out storylines, to entice resubs and lock in the 6/12-month subs with the rewards the dangle just to meet a metric and appease the shareholders.

I just do not trust Blizzard not to drop the ball, so to say, and fumble the ending of the expansion with hamfisted character stories and cobbled plotlines trying to make it all work. Dragon Isles has a good theme now, so stick with it. There are plenty of other loose ends in the world story that can be tied up and resolved as well, so let's not ignore existing world issues and hanging character plots.

Also, in my opinion, let's get some old zone revamping to match what is happening in the lore. Galrakands bones are gone? Cool, so remove them. Update Stormwind and Orgrimar with higher rez models. Because putting in hi-rez assets like the trading posts in low-rez cities is getting to be an eye-sore.

At this time, I still have mixed feelings and am unsure if I will buy sub time once this gifted time runs out. I still have several days to make a decision, so we will see.

[emetkoto]

So what about Astarion drew you in? Were you spoiled at all for anything about him? Because that's how I was, unfortunately. I don't have all the details yet, but I have Just enough to feel atrocious for him and want to bodyblock him from The Horrors. Did you go in intending to make everyone's favorite little meow meow for your tav, or was it just who you felt would fit at the time? Give me the details I'm so curious about how exactly Kotostarion came to be behind the scenes 👀

For once in my life, I actually wasn't spoiled ahead of time (well with the exception of him being a vampire but I clocked that immediately anyway and its like the second thing you learn about him so I don't count it)! I got the game pretty quick after launch and I didn't know too many ppl who had played EA so I got to experience Astarion fresh :) it was a nice change! I was initially drawn in by his looks and all the like. smug murderous bastard vampire vibes, he was just very attractive to me overall and ticked so many boxes….I could never have imagined how deeply sad and traumatized and tragic he was, they really caught me off guard with that one :sob: I would do anything to make him feel safe and happy!!!!!

I kinda knew from before I started I was gonna make K'oto bc idk I just thought he'd have fun in a little DnD fantasy adventure with lots of handsome men around to potentially kiss….at first I wasn't sure if I was actually gonna like. ENJOY the game on my own? Sure I planned to at least play it through once with the friends who bought it for me but I wasn't 100% sold on it being smth I'd play on my own time so I also kinda defaulted to K'oto in a "no use coming up with a whole new original character for this thing I don't even know I'll like yet" way, kinda the same way I ended up making him in XIV (he was originally just an alt to play with irls who had just started and was never meant to have lore or personality or a story of his own until he decided he wanted to be a real boy and took the wheel from me)! Since I had no info on Astarion going in I initially kinda went "oh wow. This is kinda Emetkotocore." but now obviously I am aware they are. Not at ALL the same thing even a LITTLE and as I played they just kinda morphed into their own thing and thus, Kotostarion <3 It was completely unplanned as it always is jsgklisflslkd

[gonemechaniic]

Mobile friendly rules...

BASIC ETIQUETTE .

DON’T BE A DICK! Racism, Homophobia, Transphobia, Sexism, Xenophobia; discrimination of any kind will not be tolerated. Don’t come at me, or any of my followers/friends with that hot garbage.

SELECTIVITY .

I will only interact with mutual followers. This mostly goes for IC memes unless tagged otherwise. I do not follow for a follow. It’s nothing personal and intended for my own comfort, to keep me from feeling overwhelmed or if I can’t really see how our muses would interact in the long term. Other reasons deal with not having a tagging system, no rules or muse info present, formatting style or lack thereof; i.e. not cutting posts or more OOC than IC. While I am open to plotting and talking to non-mutual followers in order to start something new, please do not consistently come at me if I'm not interested.

In regards to unfollowing/soft blocking people, I usually filter through blogs that have been inactive for at least 5-6 months unless I personally know them and the general nostalgia factor has a vice like grip on me x3 and I'll try to keep to a 7 day grace period to following anyone back... but don't hold me to that cause I am forgetful AF.

Also, I am variant friendly and freaking adore the idea of twin/alt verses, or just gushing over this ray of sunshine in general, PLS!

GENERAL DYNAMICS .

I can be an impulsive & adaptive kind of writer at times. If nothing is plotted beforehand I'm prone to just wing it and see how it plays out. I’m also keen to follow my partner’s writing length and /or format should the desire arise for thread aesthetic goodness.

I like plotting pre-established relationships/connections. I find it to be a pretty nice immersion factor to basic intro threads/meme interactions.

I will not play favorites with any particular character(s). I may have main baes I feel more at ease freely interacting with and replying to. My character exclusivity is only placed upon romantic ships when it is asked of me.

SHIPPING .

This is a multi-ship blog. Every relationship takes place inside its own verse unless plotted otherwise, i.e; poly-ships. I love shipping! I love talking about possible ships. I love the planning and meme slinging. As much as I enjoy it, that is NOT an ultimate goal with my muse. I also like to get to know my potential ship partner as well beforehand. 

Do NOT follow/interact with me if you’re just trying to ship with my muse!

Shipping requires chemistry. I know Cindy is a super cute, bubbly sunshine gal who everyone wants to smooch (okokok maybe not everyone). But if it’s not there, it’s not there. Please do not force anything on me or my muse.

This doesn’t even have to pertain to romantic ships at all. Platonic, family, rival/hateships or unrequited feelings are all welcomed interactions as well. Also any shippy/nsfw memes sent w/o prior IC interaction or OOC conversation first will be treated as purely platonic or disregarded entirely.

TRIGGERS & NSFW .

All possible triggering posts will be tagged within reason i.e ‘( trigger name cw ) or ( trigger name )’. Considering that I have very few triggers myself ( trypophobia & arachnophobia ), please let me know, either by your rules page or messages, what your triggers are and I’ll be totally fine with tagging them for you. 

I’m fine with n/sf/w stuff ( horror/gore ) I have no problem writing spicy situations, but it will not be a predominant focus on this blog. Overall it’s not a major concern to me. If you wanna take it to disco, skip it all together/fade to black then that’s cool. 

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WILL I WRITE NSFW MATERIAL WITH MINORS!

ACTIVITY & CONTACT .

I am married to the military, i.e, we move around a bit or have random stuff going down. I have job/home stuff to deal with. I have a life outside RP. In other words; this blog may run off a queue but mainly: I. AM. S L O W. Feel free to remind or notify me if you think tumbles fvcked something up like it do be sometimes, but don’t hound me for interactions.

DMs are open for plotting. Disco is open to mutuals who ask for it, or I might randomly post it. Cindy is on Wire @/topmechanic. Just please keep in mind that I'm a pretty awkward and shy person, even if I’ve known you for a time. I don't always initiate conversations and my anxiety/intrusive thoughts tend to make things worse. It’s something I’m trying to break the habit of but, if I happen to go silent for a while, and this is gonna sound tacky, but it’s not you, it’s me.

aaaaaaaye congrats for making it this far! Here are your complimentary smooches and head pats. Stay awesome, my friends 💛💛

[hulloitsdani]

All of this is very true and correct. On the lore keeping side of things, it’s heavily implied to have only been a year by the time book 5/6 rolled around. Between Veronica’s new alt not looking too much older and that line from the tempest trials basically confirms it.

Now, in my personal opinion, this feels incredibly wrong.

Unlike any other fire emblem game, FEH has the unique structure of being serialized. We have spent a LONG time with these characters. Seven years, if you’ve been here since the beginning. That gives Heroes a fascinating and unique emotional base to play off of for its narrative.

Normally, when a FE game says these characters have been fighting side by side for a long time, the audience has to extrapolate what that means for themselves. For example, how long is the first half of FE: Awakening? How much time has passed since Robin woke up in a field to defeating Gangrel? To my knowledge, we have no clue. The most solid timeframe that FE: Awakening provides is the two year time skip and Lucina being from over ten years in the future. And this is not a criticism of Awakening; it doesn’t really need to convey that information. It might be nice for the characterization of Robin, but at the same time, knowing the exact number doesn’t rob the effect of his arc defying the ancient immortal Grima with infinitely more memories than him. Then, on top of this, the undefined amount of time that has canonically passed and the time the player spends experiencing the game never coincide with one another. Intelligence systems could say defeating Gangrel took the length of a summer, and that wouldn’t affect the player who took a year to finish it or the player who beat it in a week. Because we know how the audience temporally experiences it isn’t as baked into its structure. If we were given a solid timeline, we wouldn’t really be primed to care.

FEH does not operate in this way. Again, it's serialized. The time taken to engage with it's narrative is controlled. And this is a boon for it’s narrative more often than not. For example, what makes Alfonse’s, “...when you’re not near, I feel… not quite myself,” line effective? Especially as time goes on? There’s many reasons, especially since this is a character growth moment. But I’d argue one of them is how we intrinsically understand what he means, because we have witnessed these characters going on adventures with each other for YEARS. By now, we can imagine everyone in our core four cast feels something akin to that about each other. Alfonse, Sharena, Anna, and Kiran have all literally and metaphorically walked through hell and back together multiple times over. How can he not feel that way about them at this point? It’s been seven years.

That has the potential to be a deeply compelling, no? All it needs is to be purposely applied. So whenever I take it upon myself to fill in the gaps of its narrative, I enjoy using the passage of time to further communicate the bonds between these characters. Because we are in a rare scenario where the audience has already been primed to feel something when a specific time frame is mentioned. I can make Bruno’s tragedy of a life hurt more by emphasizing just how young he was when his life started falling apart and have it parallel how vulnerable Veronica is now. We can now understand why he’s trying to stand by her despite the curse making his life a living hell. Anna also makes a lot more sense as a character if she’s been fighting on a battlefield for more than a decade and it colors what constant wars have done to the nation of Askr. The fighting is so constant, that the cutthroat money motivated merchant had to rise through the ranks of being a solider instead and it crafted her into someone who cares for things outside of gold. And so on and so forth with all the other characters.

It really works. To me, at least. At the end of the day FEH is far from a high quality game and I am perfectly aware that I’m probably putting more love and thought into it than some of the people making it. But that’s part of what I love about it. It’s REALLY creatively stimulating. If it was totally bad, then I wouldn’t care for it, but it’s such a 50/50 shot of quality that I can’t help but use it as a creative writing prompt. How would I improve this, if I was given the opportunity to? How do I preserve and elevate what’s already there? These are questions I’ve never had as much fun answering than I have with FEH. So much so, that it got me posting fan art on the internet, which is something I’ve never EVER felt compelled to do before this. And it’s been unbelievably enjoyable. I love this game.

So I guess the moral of this is to have fun lmao. Ignore the source material if you want. Forget what is headcannon and cannon. Pretend you do not see the height chart claiming Alfonse is close to 6ft tall. Or maybe do the opposite and remember all the lore details. Keep that stuff on tap for the rest of us with less than stellar memory. Both are good.

LMFAOOOO

It's very unclear! But Alfonse's "It's been at least 10 years since Sharena was a child" line is a rough estimate itself. I feel like it could place Sharena anywhere to 18 to 20 when she joined the Order of Heroes (this is just my headcanon though, based on what's typical irl -- there's also a possibility that in Askr, the age you're considered "an adult" is different, but that's also speculation)

But if Sharena was anywhere from 18 to 20 when she joined the Heroes, and granting that a few years have passed to get to Book 4. Maybe 22? 24? At oldest? If every book is a year. Which in that case!

Yeah she could be at this point actually 🤔 Or maybe 26.

And really you can throw any random number at Alfonse like. I kinda hc he's 3 years older than her, if not 4. They do seem close in age, but far enough that Alfonse has always felt more "grown up" to her (possibly by the way he was treated/raised, many possibilities). But going off those numbers, he could be 29 or 30ish current Book, if we're going w Sharena being 26 (makes me wonder if his Brave alt is gonna make him look "more mature"... like his portrait always read as young adult to me, but I wonder if he'll be a little less baby faced.)

[anonquack]

| His Merch |

Alex Quackity x Reader, Oneshot!

Word Count: 4256

Warnings: None, just some curse words. Fluff :]

Summary: Being such good friends with Quackity leads to the inevitable; catching feelings. In fear of ruining your friendship with him, you kept quiet about your feelings. Although usually good at that, after a merch drop and a slip-up on stream, you prepare yourself for the worst. Queue the incoming call from Quackity himself.

Today had been a productive day, in your opinion. You'd woken up earlier than usual, ate breakfast, cleaned around your apartment, and managed to get started on editing a video you'd recently filmed.

That's why you considered yourself very deserving of sitting down and enjoying your friend's stream as you ate some snacks.

Quackity had a fun stream planned, and had hyped up a 'big announcement' on Twitter, and the whole timeline was already speculating what it could be as they awaited for Quackity to start stream.

Being his friend had some perks though, contrary to popular belief. He'd discussed with you what the big announcement was as you sat on call with him a few nights prior to the big day. It was merch, and according to your past experience with Planet Duck products, it was sure to be soft and super comfy. You were very much looking forward to getting your hands on some of his new merch.

He'd brought up sending some to you, one of the previously mentioned perks of being his friend, but you politely declined. Much to his surprise. He'd asked why and you'd simply stated that "It was fine," and perhaps it came off as a bit rude. A 'no thanks' to his merch that you hadn't even seen.

But you had plans of your own, you wanted to acquire said merch on your own, and support him financially in the process. He didn't have to know that though, so with a small 'Oh' from him as his response, you swiftly changed topic of conversation.

Now here you sat, watching the stream as Quackity explained what he'd be doing with his friend John Smith. Riding go-karts around what looked like a storage unit. You couldn't help but worry as you watched them zoom around, occasionally getting close to crashing, and eventually doing just that.

The stream itself was rather fun to watch, but you kept your debit card beside you. This was in case he decided to drop the merch announcement out of nowhere. And that was exactly what he did. Another perk of being his friend was you grew a 6th sense for these type of things. Always had a feeling for what was about to happen when it came to Quackity.

You watched as the chat freaked out, watched as the notification from Planet Duck went out, notifying everybody that the merch had been released. You quickly typed into your computer, and the internet seemed to be taking its time to redirect you to Quackity's merch site.

After some time, it finally loaded and you began to look at all the options. The merch was wonderful, Quackity had been hyping it up to you (you'd asked for no reveals, wanting to wait like everyone else) and he had been absolutely right.

Most of the designs were new, except for the iconic Planet Duck logo, and were all very cute. You had Quackity's stream playing in the background as you maneuvered your way around the site, finally deciding on which merch you'd be buying.

As you went to purchase, a red sign alerted you that there was no shipping to your location. To which you quickly raised an eyebrow, panic starting to rush through you. Maybe you should've accepted his offer.

After refreshing multiple times and watching the Twitter timeline freak out as well over the inability to ship to several locations, it finally seemed to work, and the payment finally went through. A big "Thank you for your purchase" appearing onto the screen.

You let out a sigh of relief, clicking back onto the tab where the stream was, a small smile on your face. You'd actually managed to get it on your own. It was nerve-racking, when it seemed like you wouldn't be able to get the shipping to work, when it seemed like it'd sell out before you had the chance to buy some.

Now you finally understood what it felt like, the stress of getting your hands on merch before it sold out. It'd been an exhilerating experience.

You relaxed into your seat as Quackity's laugh filled the room. He was recreating bits from Fast and Furious, and zooming all over the place. You watched with a fond smile as he drove around, throwing random Spanish profanities at John Smith here and there.

The funky heart glasses he had on did nothing to ease the warmth that was spreading through your chest at the sight of him. You were suffering due to your confusing feelings towards your close friend, but nobody knew, or at least that is what you told yourself.

You tried to focus on something else, something that wasn't solely him. The go-karts were going pretty fast, and you remembered the scene they were recreating from the movie. Whichever random thought came to mind, you'd focus on it instead, too scared to let your thoughts wander elsewhere.

When it came to and end, you were conflicted. You were glad your heart would be able to catch a break, but you also missed him almost immediately. Sickening, really.

You took some time to reflect on what you'd done so far. Cleaned, ate your meals, worked on some editing, got some Quackity merch, and enjoyed a fun stream. It was rather productive, to say the least.

But there was still some time left in the day, and you figured you'd put the energy coursing through your body to use.

Taking a seat at your desk, you turned your monitor on before opening the twitch app. An alt stream would be perfect right now. After going live and sending out a tweet letting your followers know you were live, you patiently waited for the viewers to start coming in.

Considering this was an alt stream, you figured you'd play some random game and just chat for a bit before heading to bed. As the viewers came in, you gave your greetings before opening a tab for roblox, getting on a random server to play an obby game as you talked to chat.

There was a content smile on your face as you asked chat how their day had been, how they were feeling, your little character jumping around and passing through the beginner levels on the obby game.

"I'm actually in a really good mood, chat. My day has been going so well." You began, glancing at chat here and there, smile growing at the memory of the adventures acquiring Quackity merch.

After the chat was flooded with questions asking about what had happened, you indulged. "I was watching Quackity's stream earlier today, and it was so much fun!" The smile grew before softening as you focused on the obby. "I was also able to get some of his new merch."

The chat erupted into bits of 'friends supporting friends' to 'y/n in quackity merch???' and people yelling that they had been or weren't able to get merch.

Seeing the chat made you laugh, nodding your head a bit. "No because I was so nervous I wouldn't be able to get some-" you admitted, attention now focused solely on telling the viewers about your own experience.

"I was trying to purchase, and there was a line, and then it said it wouldn't ship to my location?? I was so worried I wouldn't be able to get some. But it finally worked. I'm excited for it to get here." You finished your small rant, a content smile on your lips.

Chat consisted of people agreeing with the technical difficulties occurring at the time of the merch drop, others saying they were too broke to buy anything. It felt nice, to see something from their perspective and also have shared an experience like this.

"Big Q actually offered to send me some, but I told him no because I wanted to get it myself.. Wanted to get it fair and square." You said as you refocused on the obby in front of you, fond smile on your face as you thought about how nice he was. He was willing to send all of his friends some of his merch, free of cost.

"Also wanted to give him my support by actually purchasing it, you know?" You added, resting your chin on the palm of your hand as it leaned against your desk. You took this time to read chat, which was exploding with what you thought was a combination of Quackity's username with yours, and 'bffs ur honor!!'.

You smiled at that, hands finally moving your character around. "Really, he has been such an amazing friend, extremely welcoming, always fun to be around. And just.. life is never dull when he's around. He's always been there for me when I needed it and well‐" A pause. "I'm glad I was able to support him in some way." You hummed softly as you finished up yet another small rant about Quackity.

At the realization that you'd been talking about him for far too long, and that he was not meant to be the focus of your alt stream, you cleared your throat and began focusing on the obby game once again.

You shifted the topic of conversation to the video you'd also been editing today, and that quickly took everyone's attention away from how affectionately and fondly you'd been speaking of your dear friend. Everyone was now excited about the new video.

Seeing how easily the chat's focus changed made you ease up a bit, and you were able to enjoy the rest of your stream playing random roblox games and discussing some stuff with chat. It lasted for a bit longer before you finally decided to end stream.

Some goodbyes and after stream officially ended, you found yourself on Twitter. Everything seemed pretty peaceful on the timeline, up until the trending page came up.

Your name was trending, along with 'QUACKITY IN CHAT' and the infamous combination of usernames. A monstrosity, really.

You heard yourself audibly gulp as you clicked on the trending topic 'quackity in chat'. Much to your dismay it was true. There was screenshots that showed Quackity was watching your stream. That meant that he'd heard you talking about him in that sickening tone. That tone that was unnecessarily sweet and fond.

You didn't know who was freaking out more, the so-called shippers, the timeline, or yourself. You gently bit at the inside of your cheek, scrolling and reading all the tweets of people trying to guess how Quackity must've felt while hearing all that. Others raising an eyebrow at how long you'd gone on about Quackity and how 'perfect' he was.

You'd fucked up, that was for sure, and it wasn't even intentional or fan service of any kind. It was an alt stream, it wasn't planned in any way, shape, or form. He'd been brought up, and you'd accidentally spilled all fond thoughts you held of him.

Your cursor hovered over a specific tweet that read, 'want someone to talk about me the way y/n talks about big q'. It was sweet, and perhaps made you smile just a little bit.

As you read it over in your head, a notification popped up on your screen, the discord notification ringing in your ears as you read who the message was from. Quackity.

You messed around with your mouse for a bit before finally closing the Twitter tab, and instead opting to open the unread message.

Quackity

hey (:

You stared at it for a bit, blinking in disbelief at how normal the message came across. Perhaps he'd tuned in during the last half of the stream. Perhaps he hadn't been able to watch while you rambled about him, and perhaps he hadn't been on Twitter either. One could hope.

y/n hi (:

It showed that he was typing almost immediately after, and you tried your best to calm your nerves.

Quackity call?

You felt yourself tense at the message. Maybe he wanted to let you down kindly. 'Hey! Saw your stream, and I just wanted to ask if you could chill the fuck out. That was kind of creepy. Maybe never speak of me ever again. Do not perceive me any longer, thanks!'

Something along those lines for sure. That's what probably awaited you if you said yes to this. But what exactly were you supposed to do instead?

y/n ofc

It only took a few seconds for the call to come through. Stalling wouldn't help, so you answered by the third ring.

He greeted you, and everything seemed normal. The calls were normal between you two, but you were just on edge due to twitter trending and the stream that took place less than an hour ago.

"How are you feeling, Quackity?" You asked with a small smile, today was a big day for him, and you were sure he'd enjoy talking about how fast the merch sold.

"I'm doing great. Really happy that the fans liked the designs and just.. we sold a lot. I'm happy." He restated the last bit, the smile was obvious in his voice. You didn't have to be seeing it to know. Another perk of being so close to him. You had a clear visual image of what he probably looked like right now. Cute smile plastered onto his equally cute face.

"I'm really happy for you, Big Q. You deserve all the success that is coming your way and more." You hummed softly. Everything you were saying, you meant wholeheartedly. There was silence for a bit before he finally spoke again.

"I watched your stream."

Fuck. There it was. You should've expected it but it still hit like a ton of bricks. You felt your mouth turn dry, could barely manage to get out the word, "Yeah?"

"Mhm." Straight to the point. There was a bit of silence, you were unsure of what to say. Why had he brought it up? It was bound to happen, but what was the reason behind bringing it up? To tease you, let you know he wasn't interested, or because roblox obbies are just so much fun?

"You didn't have to buy it, you know?" He finally said, breaking the silence.

"I wanted to." You reassured, "the merch is really pretty. Worth every penny."

"I could've sent you whichever you wanted." He stated bluntly. As if it was weird of you to have gone and bought it on your own.

"Thank you, but I wanted to buy it myself. Let me? Please?" Let me show my support this way, is what you meant to say. It came out softer than intended, and you could feel your heart beating against your ribs. You really needed to watch your tone around him.

"Of course." He responded, just as softly. He'd drive you crazy one of these days. They'd have to lock you up, and you'd never see the light of day again.

"Did you have fun riding the go-karts?" You asked, a small smile on your lips as you wandered back onto the Twitter tab, a clip of his stream now on display on the timeline.

He let out a small laugh, "I did. Did you enjoy watching it?" You nodded before responding, "Of course. Was concerning watching you crash into walls though."

He hummed softly in response, possibly contemplating what to say with how long he took before he spoke again.

"Did you really mean all the things you said on stream?"

Somehow, even with your own attempts to change topic, the focus was back on your stream and the things that had been said. You wouldn't be able to dig yourself out of the hole you'd dug.

It was entirely your fault, for even allowing yourself to consider him as anything but a great friend. It was your fault for taking the late night calls, the sweet tones, and messages the wrong way. Your interpretations were all wrong and now you'd have to sit here and apologize for practically outing yourself on stream. For letting the whole world know that you had romantic feelings for a good friend of yours. You'd probably made him so uncomfortable.

You felt yourself cringe slightly at his words, already gone quiet for far too long. You had to speak up, even if it lead to a good friendship ending a few minutes from now.

"Of course I did. You're great, Alex." The use of his name was meant to assure him you meant it wholeheartedly. It made the moment feel more intimate, too. Much to your own dismay, yet again. You couldn't help it.

The possibility that your friendship with him could come to an end real soon made you act on your feelings. It left you unhinged. If it was all going to end here, maybe you'd allow yourself to act on impulse. End it with a bang.

"Thank you, really. I know I probably wasn't meant to hear all that, but it was really nice. Made me feel nice as well. And just, seeing that you didn't accept the merch from me because you wanted to support me directly.. thank you."

His voice was soft, felt like warm honey to your taste buds. You could almost hear your heart melting inside your chest, could feel it dripping down and touching your diaphragm, oozing into every single crevice in your body. You'd never understand how he had such effects on you. How he was able to make you so fond of him.

"I meant every single word. You deserve that and so much more." You reassured yet again, a small smile on your lips. You heard him let out a small chuckle, which made you laugh as well.

Moments later, he had turned his camera on, wanting to show you all the merch. You'd asked for him to put it on, since you were a 'visual learner' and had to see it on him in order to fully understand what it looked like. He had playfully rolled his eyes, but hadn't really argued against it.

So there you were, watching as he changed from hoodie to hoodie, moving out of frame to change into the shirts. You could feel your heart thumping harshly against your rib cage at the sight of him. Some looked bigger on him, some looked just right. They all looked wonderful, and super comfy. Perhaps that was simply because they were on him, and he looked so comfy.

He looked like he could give the best hugs.

"You really think so?" His voice came out a bit sheepish, and the light pink that dusted his cheeks was becoming more and more evident. Huh?

"What?" You said, a dumb look on your face as you tried connecting the dots.

"That I could give the best hugs." He stated slowly, as if he was testing how it sounded before adding, "Do you really think that?"

Had you really said that out loud? Fuck. It took acting on impulse to a whole other level. This wasn't something you two usually did, but I guess it was okay since everything might be ending soon. Ballsy moves.

"Yeah. You make the merch look so cozy." Your throat felt dry, eyes glued to his face, wanting to catch every single second of his reaction. Wanting to see each movement of his facial muscles, to find out what it could possibly entail. "Makes me wonder what your hugs feel like." You admitted.

Your eyes scanned the entirety of his face, perking up slightly at the sight of his face flushing, leaving him with the softest tint of pink to spread across his cheeks, almost matching his pretty lips. What the hell did that even mean?

"Maybe you won't have to wonder for too long. With guidelines being lifted and all." The line. Blurred at that very moment, for sure. His eyes were glued to you as well, which only made you hesitate every single movement you could think of doing at that moment.

"And in the meantime? What am I supposed to do?" Risky. Crossing lines, jumping over hurdles. This all had to be against friend rules or something. You could feel your sanity decreasing each second this call went on. But he wasn't stopping any of this either.

"I could send you a hoodie." The sentence brought you out of your Quackity-induced haze, making you quickly shake your head. What? Before you could protest or ask what the hell that was supposed to mean, he explained.

"My hoodie. Y'know. Mine. One I wear. You can give it back when we meet up, perhaps."

Your mouth went dry again, shocked at the domestic feeling it gave. He was suggesting he send one of his hoodies. It would smell like him. It was the closest thing to giving him an actual hug. It would be paradise.

"You'd really do that?" You asked, still in disbelief, but he quickly nodded his head. "Oh." You said softly, before a smile appeared on your face. "I would like that, then."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"I'll send it then." He hummed, smile spreading on his lips as well. Everything going on was making you feel dizzy. It felt so surreal.

You'd mentally prepared yourself for the worst, but instead were met with a flirtatious Quackity. He'd said sweet things to you before, but you never allowed yourself to take it seriously, not wanting to get your hopes up. And it never went to this extent.

It seemed he realized what just went down, a loud laugh escaping his lips. "Holy shit. You're gonna have one of my hoodies soon."

"I am." You chimed in, smile on your lips as well.

"And you'll wear it around." He added.

"I will."

"You'll look good, as always."

You could feel the heat rush to your face. What was going on? Was this real, or just a very cruel dream? Alex Quackity was fucking flirting with you.

"Are you flirting with me?" Bewildered tone, raised eyebrows. Your brain couldn't even begin to progress what was being said.

"What the fuck does it look like I've been doing?"

"Have you really?" Warmth spread across your chest at how blunt he was being. The line was gone. It'd been erased, never to be seen again. There was no shame in him. Admitting he was flirting with his whole chest.

"I have. Why are you so surprised though? I've subtly flirted with you before.. and I mean, were you not confessing your undying love to me on stream?" He raised a brow, feigned confusion on his face. He was teasing. You let out a groan, covering your face with your hands as he let out a laugh.

Surreal. He confessed to having flirted with you in the past. So you weren't delusional, nice to know. "Are you done?" You asked, face still covered by your hand in shame.

"I saw a tweet that was saying they felt like third wheels since I was in chat, and you were just going on about everything you liked about me." You kept your face covered. He was not stopping. Now he was the unhinged one.

He was visibly scrolling through the timeline at this point. "Oh, and one saying they want what we have. What do we have?"

You finally uncovered your face. "I don't know. Whatever the fuck this is, I guess?"

"Well, what is this?"

"Mm... whatever you want it to be." You finally answered, and there was a surprised look plastered on his face at that.

"Whatever I want?"

"Yeah." You paused. Would he regret this after he got out of this haze? What if it had just been flirting for fun? But he wouldn't play with your feelings like this, would he?

Alex Quackity was perfect though, and perhaps he had a sixth sense about when stuff was wrong with you, because he caught on to your hesitation.

"Hey." He called out softly. The teasing, flirtatious tone was gone, now replaced by the softer tone reserved for late night calls, or when everybody else in the vc had left and it was just you two.

You look at where his face was on your monitor, relaxing a bit simply by his tone and the soft gaze he held on you.

"I know everything sort of progressed pretty fast tonight.. but your stream really helped me realize a few things. I do like you, y/n. Not fucking around or anything." He said it in a firm tone, one that told you he wasn't messing around, but still felt oh so intimate.

Everything he was saying was exactly what you wanted and needed to hear. Reassurance that your feelings weren't unrequited. You couldn't believe your rambling on stream had lead you guys here.

"I like you, too. If that wasn't obvious already." You mumbled out, eyes averting before glancing to see his reaction. He had the biggest, cutest, grin on his face. Charming, and extremely contagious. You couldn't help but smile back.

Holy shit.

"Is this real?" You asked out loud, smile never leaving your face.

"It is. All thanks to your ranting on stream. How cool is that?"

You couldn't help but still feel rather embarrassed that he'd heard all of it, but it had brought you two here. All embarrassment was worth it. Especially if it meant it opened up a whole new world of possibilities for you two.

"Very cool." You mumbled, before a smile appeared on your lips. Today really couldn't have gone any better.

[everythingmaxriemelt]

Max talks to General-Anzeiger about “Bonn - alte Freunde, neue Feinde” TV series.

Q: In "Bonn - Old Friends, New Enemies" you play a secret agent. Was secret agent on your unfulfilled roles wish-list?

Max: No, there is no wish-list of unfulfilled roles. I found the character and the series itself very exciting - especially the background. A story that hasn't been told that much until now - neither in school lessons, in society, nor in films or TV.

Q: How did you prepare for the role of Wolfgang Berns? Any tips from real agents?

Max: In the series, you only watch Wolfgang Berns doing certain tasks. I don't think I needed agent training for that. But what had to be practiced from time to time was motorcycling. Because it's a historical story, there were old motorcycles and cars that weren't easy to drive.

Q: Do you ride a motorbike or did you have to learn it for the role?

Max: I can ride a motorbike, but with the older machines it's just something completely different. But it was good and fun. Overall, this agent role was a lot of fun. (laughs) I would say that's actually the origin of actors: you transform and you disguise yourself. Emotions were also particular importance in the role, which was a challenge. Berns is a guy who is rather opaque - he poses a great mystery to the viewer.

Q:The series is based on true events in the young Federal Republic. Did you know the names of Otto John and Reinhard Gehlen before shooting?

Max: I've heard the names before. But what dimensions the Gehlen organization had at the time was frightening for me - especially how many old Nazis worked for the Federal Intelligence Service or were involved in its founding. I knew even less about Otto John than about Gehlen, I had to read everything about him first.

Q: When you work with such historical material, do you stick to the events very precisely?

Max: Luckily my character wasn’t an actual person, so I didn't have to worry about that. That was the task of the director, how she created and told the character. But I had complete confidence because she knows the subject very well.

Q: When you were shooting on the Konrad Adenauer ferry in Bad Godesberg in July 2021, it was raining incessantly (NB: actually there was a flooding crisis in the area around that time). What memories do you have of the shoot?

Max: The day actually started quite nicely. (laughs) Then it started raining, and when we were on the ferry, it really poured. But you have to see that as a sport. Later on in the film it looks good, so nobody asks how about it anymore. You just have to concentrate and persevere. But I had a very nice time in the area. I really like the Drachenfels (hill), (the location of ) the legend of Siegfried, I also like hiking through the woods – nature is really great there.

Q: Speaking of Drachenfels: Babylon Berlin was partly filmed on the Drachenburg. There are many other historical crime series, with “Bonn – Old Friends, New Enemies” adding to it. Why is this historical material so popular with the public?

Max: I believe that such material is always in demand. The audience has a fascination for the past, and also for their own identity. It all has something to do with where you come from. 100 years ago was an extremely exciting time that is shown in Babylon. The time after the war is like a dark episode in German history that has not yet been properly dealt with. That's why it's exciting to get information that reflects the complexity and concerns of the post-war period. There were mixed feelings at the time: people survived the war, but some people still had the perpetrator mentality. Others wanted to make sure this never happened again. All this can be told in an exciting way, with people who have experienced extreme fates collide.

Q: Also exciting because this period has been kept silent in many families...

Max: Many also got into a moral conflict. Especially when it comes to guilt and the motives you had during the war. There are different opinions and attitudes about it.

Q: Does it help you as an actor if you shoot on original locations? You shot a large part on a set in the Czech Republic far from Bonn...

Max: Costumes, backgrounds and every little detail helps - that way you can put yourself in the shoes of that time and you are not disrupted by modern things that later have to be concealed. The shooting in Prague was very nice. We pretty much had the city to ourselves due to the Covid lockdown, the film sets were empty. Everything was beautifully restored, and if you walked inside it, you could quickly forget the time.

Q: You played in the Hollywood film "Matrix" - that's something completely different than your current role of Wolfgang Berns. How do you switch from fiction to history?

Max: I wouldn’t say it’s a switch. It's just a different kind of work. Matrix was a big production that had a lot of money and was made with a lot of people. The content is also different: the conversation in Matrix is ​​more of a philosophical nature, and in Bonn, it’s more fictional, but also biopic-like. Which means a completely different form of authenticity.

*interview from General-Anzeiger and gifs are mine

[definegodliness]

I posted 674 times in 2021

604 posts created (90%)

70 posts reblogged (10%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.1 posts.

I added 1.912 tags in 2021

#poetry - 255 posts

#spilled ink - 232 posts

#poem - 212 posts

#spilled thoughts - 190 posts

#writing - 189 posts

#creative writing - 184 posts

#tumblr poetry - 180 posts

#writers - 166 posts

#alt lit - 154 posts

#emotion - 150 posts

Longest Tag: 124 characters

#if only i had just done what i should've done without thinking 'this will do' that would have saved me a lot of redoing what

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

I told him of you till the skies turned blue

He stands in the rain, unaware of the cold And water drips off his Slender fingers; In streams of silver From his hat, and I'm told Where other vagabonds roam, he lingers; Watching the earth change its every hue From green to brown, to grey's Evermore pale, In days when the sky Scarcely shows off its blue; When all courting creatures have Halted their tale.

I watch him stand lonely as people pass by, Without ever giving him the light of day; Approach him to ask him if he ever cries, And then in sighs he did Turn to say:

"I never did try---

As nothing is endless, and no one may stay."

Can you imagine I told him of you For days on end as the cold made me shiver; For months on end, till the skies turned blue, And life returned to the flowing river; I watched the sun paint his face brightly gold As birds would nest in his lushly grown beard And as he smiled at our story told The ache of winter, simply Disappeared.

--- 18-2-2021, M.A. Tempels ©

271 notes • Posted 2021-02-18 16:45:55 GMT

#4

Immemorable

I see the statues That vaguely resemble a human, Where people sit under Eating French fries with mayonnaise; Their only use is Casting the cool of shade.

I read the books, Starting with the translator's notes Defending their own interpretation, Or the editor, explaining choices made For this brand new edition, better fitting A modern audience.

I hear the music, Thinking about the songs Someone, somewhere Last listened to, their notes then Never being heard again; The many renditions of classical pieces All sound different.

I think about the last kid Telling his parents not to play Elvis, and The silence thereafter.

I think about the names And the way language changes; Nefertiti, Jesus, Julius Caesar, William Shakespeare, Vincent Van Gogh; All mispronounced by now, to the point One should not dare deem it their name.

I think about the poets In their ridiculous quests to be remembered Beyond the span of their lifetime.

All for nothing.

How futile it is, When even the truest lovers Never altogether get to know each other; They are lucky, thriving In a lifetime spent trying, Learning ever more In continuous fascination.

I think about you, And the way we remember; How I still profoundly love               That version of you I last saw before you left;               That version of you That only existed right there And then.

Now, long gone.

At least I still remember Your cheeks, convex, when you laughed; The sound of it, both real And politely fake; The veins of your wrist, kissed; Your thigh placed birthmark's shape, And the power of your Loving gaze...

That you were kind, Believed in the world's magic, and thereby Saw it created all around you.

I try to forget The way you were, When you fell out of love; Keep you at your most beautiful.

Perhaps, I don't remember you at all then.

Only a specific version,  And only parts thereof, And all polished up, nice and shiny.

Perhaps, That's as good as it gets In terms of being eternal within Another human.

At least I still know How to pronounce your name; I remember I asked to be sure On an otherwise Immemorable day.

--- 30-8-2021, M.A. Tempels ©

324 notes • Posted 2021-08-30 13:29:26 GMT

#3

She dances

She dances, entrances; letting Her body undulate in melodic possession; Strummed muscles and tendons Conspire by musical pulses and let her Heat up her waxen physique to a figure Designed to be freed from the day's rigidness. Reimagined as pliable matter, she lives By the thrums; The thuds and the thumps That dictate the shade of her silhouette Making love to the bedroom wall. She crawls, Dips to switch, kicks, puckers lush lips In an audible air kiss for joy in existence; Re-erects herself; checks herself In the mirror patiently awaiting celebrating Messy hair and flustered faces. She lives For the panting chest heaving vehemence, And the burn of this what is her Corporeal liberation.

--- 18-1-2021, M.A. Tempels ©

369 notes • Posted 2021-01-18 01:57:18 GMT

#2

I don’t mind

People come and go Sometimes as lovers, posed They feed me sugared words And sweeten life a while They lie I don't mind This is all borrowed time Like a dream after hitting The snooze button

--- 7-8-2021, M.A. Tempels ©

429 notes • Posted 2021-08-07 12:52:19 GMT

#1

Beautiful is just a word

She was sweet She was dear She was always She was near She was heaven She was good She was the fountain of youth She was fire She was rain She was love She was pain She was rhyme She was reason She was metamorphosis She was every season She was intricate She was magic She was bliss She was tragic She was suave She was smooth She was electro-magnetic She was mind-bogglingly cute She was dancing She was joy She was life She was coy She was passion She was rage She was a woman She was undulating waves She was dominance She was submission She was imagination She was wild romance She was truth She was music She was rhythm She was everything She was creation She was godly She was God She was funny She was hot She was horny She was delirium She was a moment of clarity She was gravitation She was push She was pull She was wanderlust She was soulful She was wonder-filled She was intricacy She was overkill She was stubborn She was impatient She was ecstasy She was an angel She was care She was there She was mystery She was a major cock tease She was insightful She was hurt She was convalescence She was earth She was sun She was moon She was a better world She was just a girl

--- 8-10-2021, M.A. Tempels ©

561 notes • Posted 2021-10-08 14:32:02 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[wildcatofgreen]

Have you made any new blogs or added any new muses this year? How have they been going?

End of year asks: RPC Edition!

6. Have you made any new blogs or added any new muses this year? How have they been going?

((technically, yes! corazon and neera are almost-official-but-not-really muses of this blog and

((i love it!!! the interactions they both get are really fun and its a blast playing as them.

((carol will forever stay as the main character of this blog, but its nice and freeing to know that i can just have cory and neera in my metaphorical back pocket and people will eat it up.

((i think id like to do more ask memes with them since i have lots of thoughts about them that ive kind of alluded to in threads, but never officially, and ask memes would be the EASIEST way to do that. talk about those things i mean.

((i would also like to open up a couple blogs in the near future. ive been thinking about making a blog for my dnd oc for a while now, because i have a lot of ideas for that

((id also like to make a blog for, well, kit darling, as i think that could be super interesting and id love to explore some of the stuff i set up in that one alt! ask but i still fear about bringing my attention away from my main girl, carol. balancing muses is hard and i know kit would need to be in a new blog entirely for me to do all that i wanna do with the character.

((although with the beta editor ruling over all, i do not think i would be able to get a chance to pull off some of my cool gimmicks i am thinking of. which makes me fucking MAD and i HAVEN'T EVEN MADE THE BLOG YET MAN

((AND I MIGHT NEVER MAKE THE BLOG. WHO KNOWS. I SURE AS HELL DON'T.

((all QKD needs is a macguffin that lets her get anons and lets her teleport around just like carol and she'd be perfect.

(([i already have ideas for this but this is also slightly a joke. id rather not make a carol 2]))

[alderaani]

more than gold

summary:  A lost Jedi Temple, a riddle, some literature, and feelings that Cody isn't ready to speak out loud. | AO3

note: written for @codywanweek and the alt day 5 prompt Sith/Jedi Artefact Shenanigans! sliding in on the last day with one more thing written than expected, so i’m happy with that! i’m pretty ill today so i hope it actually makes some coherent sense 😂 also if the riddle was super obvious, soz, never written one before and turns out it’s really hard.

-

“You know, I could have sworn I told you not to touch that,” Cody says conversationally, from where he’s splayed out on his back.

“Really? I’m sure I didn’t hear you,” Obi-Wan says, cheerful despite being crumpled in a heap. His elbow is in Cody’s gut. Cody glares at him.

The room they’re lying in is circular, stone, carved out of some Forced-damned mountain and according to Obi-wan, practically thrumming with power. The ceiling is high and vaulted, letting in slivers of light where intricate mirror systems catch the sunlight of double suns and project it deep underground. It takes on a slightly blue cast, reflecting off the huge pool of water they were lucky to not fall into. Four walkways at each cardinal point lead to a central platform, and interspersed between them are four waterfalls.

It should be serene. Except now the waterfalls are travelling backwards, and all the doors, including the one they came in by, are blocked. Cody scrambles up onto his elbows, dislodging Obi-Wan with a grunt.

“What did you do?”

Obi-Wan follows his gaze and gasps, delighted. “Now, will you look at that?”

Cody is looking. Frankly, he doesn’t trust this place enough to not keep his eye on it at all times. Obi-Wan keeps saying that this temple was built long ago, by ancient, peaceful Jedi as a place of learning, and that it won’t hurt them. After they got cut off from the rest of their men at the entrance, however, Cody thinks he could be forgiven for having his doubts.

As Obi-Wan himself proves, peace-keeping hardly rules out danger.

“Amazing,” Obi-Wan breathes, hoisting himself to his feet without a second glance, to walk back up to the plinth and stalk round it, examining the incomprehensible runes engraved there.

Cody is left to peel himself off the floor, and instead goes to prod at the barriers now sealing the exits with the end of his blaster. He tries not to look too much at Obi-Wan, at the soft sweep of his hair and the span of his shoulders. Being on their own like this is something he’s avoided, of late - not because he doesn’t enjoy it, but because he’s starting to enjoy it all too much.

He doesn’t trust the way his heart leaps when Obi-Wan smiles, when he asks him to call him ‘Obi-Wan’, when the cycle draws on and they’re up late again, companionably finishing reports and debating strategy. Or, as they had been doing until Cody got cold feet and started finding excuses, debating novels, which Obi-Wan checked out of the Temple archives and read aloud, one chapter at a time, before they turned in for the night.

He doesn’t trust himself not to ruin this by overstepping. There’s something about his general that makes him lose all control of his tongue, and puts him in danger of voicing thoughts that really he should not be having at all.

It’s agony. It’s bliss. It’s stretching him to breaking point, and this is possibly the worst situation they could have ended up in, really.

“These are made out of water,” he says over his shoulder, grunting as he tries to push his blaster through. He is, of course, unsuccessful.

“Ingenious,” Obi-Wan says. “How did they manage that, I wonder?”

Cody cuts a glance back at him, and grins, despite his exasperation.

“You’re not more worried about how we’re going to get out?”

Obi-Wan waves a hand. “I’m sure the path will reveal itself, in time. Oh, look - Cody, I think this is a puzzle!”

Cody bites back a groan. They do not have time for this. They never really had time for it, but Obi-Wan promised it would be a brief detour on their way to the capital for hyperspace lane access negotiations. He’d looked so excited by recon reports of a lost temple that Cody just hadn’t been able to say no. He’s never able to say no to Obi-Wan, even when he isn’t following orders. It’s probably his fatal flaw.

“I don’t suppose there’s an off switch? A back button?” He asks hopelessly. The Force, at least the Jedi sort, very rarely seems to work that way. Obi-Wan is always talking about moving through problems, about seeking balance and adapting to what’s around you, rather than manipulating it. It’s not Cody’s favoured approach; he was trained to leverage his environment to its maximum advantage, and finds he has little patience for anything else.

Obi-Wan snorts. “This is a defensive mechanism, I’m afraid. Judging by the architecture this was built at the height of the Sith Wars. This artefact is designed to trap us here until we understand the mechanism and progress, or until, back when the temple was occupied, someone would come and deal with the intruder.”

“That doesn’t sound very peaceful,” Cody says.

Obi-Wan shoots him an amused look, the warm, soft kind that makes heat rise from the pit of Cody’s belly right up to his ears.

“Even a pacifist may defend himself,” he says, then leans over the pedestal. “Now, how about you stop grousing and come help me with this?”

Cody rolls his eyes, but goes, slinging his blaster across his back and crossing his arms.

“And stop looming,” Obi-Wan laughs, catching one of Cody’s gloved hands and pulling it down to rest at his side. The simple touch makes Cody’s cheeks burn.

“Don’t see what help I can give you, Sir,” he says, frowning down at the characters surrounding the bright blue artefact. “I was never any good at Ithorian.”

Obi-Wan pauses, then tilts his head up. “Ah. Is that what it is?”

“I - I think so?” Cody was never any good at his language flashtraining; he never had the proper patience for it, but he can usually figure out the basics.

“No, no,” Obi-Wan muses, stroking at his beard with his free hand. “You’re quite right. Goodness me, it's been a long time since I last saw this dialect. Let’s see now…”

Cody steps back and waits, keeping his attention firmly split between their blocked exit points while Obi-Wan ponders. The slow upward movement of the waterfalls is eerie - it still makes noise, but none of it is right. Instead of the gentle patter he expects of water joining a larger pool, there’s a faint gurgling as they move further into each grate, travelling somewhere he cannot see.

Obi-Wan finishes his fifth circle round the platform, and the hand at his chin goes still. Cody stands at attention, expectant.

“It’s a riddle,” Obi-Wan says, and if possible, his delight grows. “Yes - the language is coming back to me now. Do you know, I haven’t looked at Ithorian in maybe 12 years?”

“Sir?” Cody says, tilting his head to look at the characters more closely. He doesn’t have even a passing proficiency at modern Ithorian, and presumably it’s changed a bit over the millennia. His training was focused on the basics, and only the useful bits, at that. He thinks he can make out the words for ‘ water ’, and ‘ enemy’ , both of which are either unhelpfully descriptive or frankly discouraging, but that’s about the extent of it.

“My old master - he loved prophecies. When I was a teenager I could never see the point of it, but it meant I spent a lot of time learning the old Ithorian dialects. They’re known as the most peaceful species, did you know?” Obi-Wan shakes his head. “They’ll exile anyone violent, it’s quite remarkable, really. I suppose in some sort of idealistic emulation, a lot of the early Jedi texts are written in their dialect.”

His blue eyes are keen, his laser sharp focus firmly on the podium. It gives Cody a moment to observe his clever fingers, the long line of his neck, the open delight with which he tackles this new problem. It’s a rare thing, to see him so relaxed, and Cody can’t help the fond smile that creeps up on him despite the circumstances. This almost makes it worth it, and on reflection, he’d rather an ancient temple than the last thing that had made Obi-Wan so happy; a wretched, bioluminescent fungus, which had infected half the battalion and given them hives. Their general had studied it for weeks.

Obi-Wan’s lips quirk up. Cody barely trusts himself to speak.

“I didn’t know, Sir,” Cody croaks, then pauses, fishing for something normal to say. “Didn’t we have to defend the governor’s daughter from an Ithorian bounty hunter on Ganaris-IV?”

“Well,” Obi-Wan grins. “Those exiles have to go somewhere, don’t they?”

Cody huffs a laugh and reaches up to scratch his neck at the seam of his bucket.

“Let’s just hope they didn’t all come here. What’s this riddle, then?”

Obi-Wan shifts to the side, then points at a spot on the podium. “As I said, it’s been a long time, but I think it starts here, and goes something like:

A thing to be forged, where water is thicker,

Worth more than gold, unless it’s pyrite that glitters.

An enemy of my enemy, or in hard times, in need,

Sometimes fair-weather, or in high places indeed.

What are you, traveller? ”

All of Cody’s hopes that it would be something nice and obvious, like “lightsaber” or, given what’s going on around them, “gravity”, escape from him like smoke. Jedi and their metaphors. It’s not just a quirk of Obi-Wan’s, clearly.

“Does that mean anything to you, Sir?” he asks, turning the words over in his head once, twice, then frowning when nothing comes immediately.

Obi-Wan’s brow is also furrowed, but in a leisurely, meditative manner.

“...I have some ideas, I think,” he says. “How about you, my friend?”

What does he think? He thinks that there are other sorts of puzzles he is much better suited to. Word play and idioms...what does a clone have to offer that?

Still, Obi-Wan is watching him, expectant and gentle, and he sifts back through the lines, a little more seriously this time.

“Ice, maybe?”

Obi-Wan nods, slowly. “Perhaps. Walk me through it.”

Cody swallows. “Ice is something that can be made, right? It’s not exactly forged, but…”

He trails off in uncertainty.

“Go on,” Obi-Wan says with another one of those soft, devastating smiles. It fractures all the thoughts in Cody’s head, and he has to stop, clear his throat and gather up all the pieces.

“I suppose...it’s just thicker water, isn’t it? On warm planets it’s a valuable commodity, it’s found in high places, and I suppose if you wanted snow, a freeze would be fair weather.”

Obi-Wan is rubbing his beard again, and he’s still smiling. “Fascinating. I would never have thought of that...only, I don’t think it’s quite there. That mention of pyrite is troublesome, and the ‘enemy of my enemy’, where does that fit in?”

Cody shrugs his shoulders, frustrated, and feels a hot flush creep up his neck. “Don’t know why you’re asking me, to be honest, Sir. Kamino hardly covered poetry.”

There’s a slight pause, then Obi-Wan’s hand is on his again, tugging it slowly down from where he’s crossed his arms.

“I wish you wouldn’t do that,” he says, soft.

“Do what?” Cody’s voice is gruff.

“Dismiss yourself. You do it sometimes when we’re reading together. There is often no right and wrong answer to these things, no secret. There is only perspective, and you see things I never would, if only you would trust yourself.”

Cody looks down and away, back towards the waterfalls and their slow, glacial climb. He isn’t sure that’s true. He enjoys what Obi-Wan shares with him, what other lives he gets to touch in their books, but more than anything they convince him that, beyond war, he knows very little of anything at all. He would like to, someday.

His eyes land on Obi-Wan’s lips briefly, before he tears them away. Particular experiences he would like to know more than others.

There was one book that Obi-Wan had read early on, back when this infatuation was just setting its first tendrils into him, about a forbidden romance at the heart of the old Mandalorian court. Two heirs of rival clans battling to be together against the good approval of their noble relatives. It had been torrid, ridiculous and entirely unexpected when Obi-Wan had suggested they break up their reports with some literature.

But what it had done was give him the words to express the crawling heat in his stomach, the urge he has to reach out, to touch, to soothe, to care for. He’d known what he wanted before that, of course, in a more rudimentary manner, but it had gifted him the language of yearning.

Suddenly, a particular passage springs into his mind and he straightens.

“You don’t think it could mean ally, do you? In Beneath the Armour, Mata threatens Clan Riza by saying he has ‘allies in high places’.”

Obi-Wan pauses, and then a brilliant smile spreads over his face. “Yes, that’s it! Pyrite - Fool’s Gold; a false friend! Brilliant Cody, whatever made you think of that?”

Cody grins, even though Obi-Wan can’t see it, and doesn’t answer.

“Is that really it?”

“I think you’re very close,” Obi-Wan says. “The characters engraved into the platform...yes! Stand close to me, Commander.”

Cody does, watching curiously as Obi-Wan lifts his hands, shuts his eyes, frowns, and pushes . Six blocks that make up the platform lift, the characters on each glowing bright, lurid blue. Under their feet, something scrapes, shifts and clunks, before the platform lurches upwards, spinning gently.

There’s a thunderous gurgling sound, before all of the pool beneath drains away.

“The answer,” Obi-Wan says, slightly breathless, his hair a little out of place. “Was friend.”

“The doorways are still blocked,” Cody notes drily. The plinth with the blue orb that started this whole mess has also risen, and underneath it are a set of very wet, slimy looking steps. “I don’t suppose it’s as simple as just walking down these and getting in?”

“Likely not,” Obi-Wan agrees, then inexplicably shifts a little closer, so that they are sharing space. Cody’s heart skips a beat. “But it’s like I told you, Cody. You are far greater than what you have been given.”

Cody coughs and looks at his feet, at their boots almost toe to toe, pleasure at the praise singing low through his body.

“Now,” Obi-Wan says, too close and not close enough. “How do you feel about another puzzle?”

Cody groans, laughing, and after a moment, follows his General into the dark.

[d-criss-news]

Actor And Producer Darren Criss Reveals His Creative Process

The producer, singer and actor talks his approach to songwriting, discovering his sound and how he’s ready for the next chapter.

We don’t know about you, but we’re currently experiencing the Bank Holiday blues. With the realisation that our days of summer maybe coming to an end were in need of uplifting sounds and singer-songwriter Darren Criss is keeping the energy going with his fun-filled EP “Masquerade”. Between the slick alt-pop productions and high-octane energy, the artist puts his theatrical abilities and prowess at the forefront of the EP. Laced with serene dance floor-ready melodies, the actor and musician instantly gets the party going on the project, kicking it off with “f*kn around”.

“The dirty secret is that every song is character-driven,” the artist revealed when discussing the project. “I just chose wording that could perhaps aid people into understanding this exploration of genre, this self-aware exploration of genre a little more. For those people that only know me as an actor, I’m trying to guide them into this notion of music and songs being a form of acting.”

No newcomer to the scene, the artist has spent the past decade gracing our screens in the cult favourite Glee and the thrilling Assassination of Versace: American Crime Story. Wanting to continue his musical journey in the form of producing and writing, we caught up with the multi-faceted artist talking his growth over the years, staying creative in a pandemic and how he’s ready for the next chapter.

Check out the interview below now…

Hey Darren, how are you? How has this past year been for you? It’s a strange question to answer because everybody’s answer is so much more complicated than what you can say in a quick easy tight polite answer. You know, I’m well, as well as one could be given the situation. I feel, you know, luckier than most. Even with the music that I just put out there’s still more that I’d like to do, but I got to do even more than I thought I’d be able to. So that tends to be kind of the theme of the past year and a half. I feel like I’ve been so consumed by working on so many things for so long, that not a lot of people outside of my inner circle know about that. You know, it’s been a lot of high output but seemingly low visibility. So now finally getting to put out some of these things and talk about them… tipped scale of visibility versus output is hopefully having a chance to even out for a bit, to where the amount of work I’ve put in can somehow match that people you know may or may not know about what I’m doing. You know, I’ve been really busy. I’m the kind of guy where if you give me a white canvas it’s a more…I wouldn’t say stressful, but I’m more likely to fill up a blank canvas immediately with as much shit as possible – I guess that is more stressful than having only a few places to fit things in, and I usually keep pretty busy. Ironically when I’m really busy, that’s when I can get stuff done. Like you know that phrase ‘if you want something done ask the busiest person in the room’, and I think there’s a degree of truth to that because you know, the chaos kind of begets chaos, and productivity begets productivity, and in a lack of anything else to do it was like ‘I wanna do all these things!’ and then it gets really crammed, so it’s nice to be kind of simmering down from this overwhelming call to arms to get as many things done as I could with this new unprecedented free time that I had. So, in short, I guess, am well if you wanna use that! I feel, I’m just relieved that a lot of this stuff can exist somewhere outside of my head but it’s a complicated answer, I’ve been able to do a lot more than I thought I’d be able to.

With everything that happened last year, was your creativity affected? The time that it yielded is the kind of time that a lot of creative people fantasise about. Of course, we would have all preferred it in a very different way when you say ‘if only I had time to sit down and work on this’. I think we all have; I say creative people but we all say, ‘if only I had time to paint the kitchen, learn a language, get in shape’, you know do something different that requires a bit of time and focus. We were all given that golden ticket, of course take that with a massive grain of salt, I’m fully aware of the price with which that came, of course if we had the choice, I don’t think any of us would have wanted it to happen the way it did. But none the less, for those of us who did take the time to focus, to hopefully be productive and proactive with the situation we were thrown into, it was creatively beneficial to finally get to address things that had been sitting kind of on deck and dormant in my mind, and it was just a matter of having the time to give them any attention. One of the joys of jumping between acting and music is there is a battle of time commitment, because neither one is a thing you can do casually. If you’re acting in something, there’s a great degree of scheduling that really eats up a large chunk of your day. While I’m in an acting project, I’m writing stuff and playing music but the actual logistics of producing music is as time consuming as the acting. I am envious of people that can kind of just show up, sing a song and leave. I, unfortunately, am not that kind of person. Writing a song is only a small piece of putting music out. Production really does take a large part of my emotional and intellectual efforts, and I really dive in head on. And that’s not even mentioning the promotional side of it. So, it really does take a lot of time to dive into those things, and I was finally given that. If anything, it was hard to decide what part of my musical menu that I wanted to serve up. It just came to a matter of what felt right at the time, what seemed fun. I kind of wanted to put out something that was positive and fun, and unapologetically so. And something that really showed up for a side of me that I felt like hadn’t been represented in the past. The musician side, and unfortunately, we haven’t been able to perform these very much. We’ve done little videos here and there. Stuff that really showed my roots as a musician, a garage rock guy, a guy that really likes getting in the weeds of production. In the past I’ve put up things that are a little more analogue, singer-songwritey, and this is more me as a producer and a musician.

How did you first get into music, what sparked the interest? Well, I’ve been playing music my whole life, and not casually either. It’s such a massive part of my identity, and that’s one of the main driving forces of me wanting to put out as much music as I possibly can. These five songs on this EP are a small part of a much larger body of work that I’m dying to get out whenever I can. When you’re a songwriter, or just in general a creative person, you have more ideas back logged than your body can execute. This is only a small part of a much larger puzzle, and a lot of these songs, the ones that I’ve put out and the ones I’m still trying to put out, are ghosts that have been haunting me however many years., some more than a decade, some more than two decades. The reason I mention this is because I’m trying to illustrate how pivotal music and making music has been throughout my life. I started playing violin when I was 5, and that was a big part of my cultural education, learning how to play an instrument that is so dynamic and requires a pretty specific ear and technical ability. Now I’m not saying I was fantastic at the violin, but I think the training that I had on it from 5 until my late teens really shaped the way that I would create music and think about music, certainly as a writer and a producer, but with just how I would jump between other instruments as well, because the violin was such a great touchstone for me to end up taking up the piano or guitar, or drums, or other instruments that would really formulate how I create music. Between being the orchestra nerd kid that played a lot of music throughout my young life, and also being the guy that would play in bands, its just been such a huge part of my life. As I’ve gotten older and gotten to understand this other version of myself that exists in more of a public view, that has little to do with that I know, I have started to notice that person, that avatar of myself, isn’t necessarily associated with music. And that was troubling to me, so I wanted to rectify that.”

And now you’ve just dropped your EP, talk us through your mindset going into the project? If I was just a recording artist, and that’s all I did, I’d like to think that I’d have a much larger body of work to show for. I feel like a lot of songwriters feel this way. There is just simply too much music…now I’m not gonna say it’s all fantastic, there’s a reason you have to triage the ones that you think are the best at the time, and there are many songs that I feel would be outdated, they feel very of the time 10 years ago. But you’re always trying to put your best foot forward with the pile you have lurking behind you. So, it is a hard thing to decide which thing you want to put out. Killing your darlings is always a hard thing, figuring out which ones to really focus on is difficult and it usually comes down to who you decide to collaborate with – right before the pandemic was one of the most tumultuous times of my career where I was producing and acting in a show for Netflix, and I was also kind of show running, acting, writing music for, editing, doing everything for this other show I created called ‘Royalties’ on another platform. I was doing both at the same time, and one of the things that made this possible was the people that I would collaborate with. A young man by the name of CJ Baron who I produced and wrote this EP with, he’s sort of the midwife that I chose out of working on Royalties because we had a lot of great songs together. I keep referring to myself as a producer, but I do it from a much more cerebral space, whereas he is a much better technical producer than I am. We really shared a lot in common, so by the time I realised that I wanted to make a piece of music you have to decide ‘who do I want to go down this yellow brick road with?’ And when I decide with CJ, that kind of already hinted at the kind of music that I would put out because he has his own fingerprint, and so I thought there’s something that I have that might mesh well with that fingerprint, so that kind of helps the decision process along of what songs am I gonna put out. But in another world CJ wasn’t interested, so then I think ‘Okay let me try and produce an album with this person’, and that person would reveal a different selection of songs. I’m very open to seeing what the universe is allowing and pushing towards, and I kind of follow that northern star to figure out what songs I’m gonna put out. But the mindset was always ‘put something out’, on a completely pragmatic level. What did I want to have to show for if whenever we got out of this crazy, new age of ‘what does this pandemic mean? We have time to do stuff, when it’s over what do I want to sit there and say that I accomplished?’ And at the very least I needed to put out a few songs, so that was really my mindset – no excuses, this is the time that you used to hope for, and so what are you gonna do if you’ve got the golden ticket, you’ve won the time lottery – so don’t fuck it up Darren! That was my mindset.

You describe them as character-driven singles, why is this? The dirty secret is that every song is character-driven, I just chose wording that could perhaps aid people into understanding this exploration of genre, this self-aware exploration of genre a little more. For those people that only know me as an actor, I’m trying to guide them into this notion of music and songs being a form of acting. The number one question I always get it ‘which one do you prefer?’ and I always say they are the same to me. When I’m an actor I treat characters, characterisation of my voice and body, characterisation of how I deliver words like a piece of music. You’re scoring it the same way, there’s cadence, dynamics, volume, nuance, all kind of things that can make ‘a piece of music’ unique to a person. And that’s how I treat dialogue and characterisation. The other side of that coin is I treat music like I’m acting, like each song has its own character when you’re playing live or recording in a booth. You are donning the proverbial mask of that character and what it requires. I really wanted to keep people into this idea that at the end of the day, it’s all performative and all part of a narrative that don’t necessarily have to do with each other and the way that if you ask Alexa to play a ‘Jack Nicholson playlist’ it would be very disjointed. It would be like okay The Shining, that’s a vibe, and then it would go to As Good As It Gets, and that’s a completely different vibe. They wouldn’t necessarily be on the same playlist, but they are distinctly and undeniably Jack Nicholson. So I always thought that it was a bit of a double standard that actors can do this but in music, you know, I’m proud of this but it’s also very annoying – a lot of my songs would probably not playlist together on the same genres because you have more jazz songs, like a trip hop chill tune that might end up in the back of a Starbucks, but that wouldn’t necessarily go on the same playlist as a tune like ‘I Can’t Dance’, which is a crazy song because it doesn’t even sound like me, I’m literally putting on a different voice, I’m singing like two different people putting on an affectation. There’s a lot of things that are very different but uniquely and distinctly me. The word masquerade is a celebration of a lot of different masks, and in theatre we talk about ‘The Masque’, and how each Masque has it’s own style, history and culture, and I really love the genre, and I love Masques, and I love things that make them interesting, and celebrating things that make them unique, and really trying to maximise their effectiveness as a genre with whatever tools I have as an artist, so that’s really what I’m trying to go for, this whole character driven idea is – it’s all a masquerade.

It very much has a fun-filled vibe to it, was this your intention and why? I’m not gonna sit here and pretend I sat in a studio saying ‘Hey lets not have fun!’, especially during a time that was as fraught with a lot of troubled times. This EP was recorded during very troubling times, so I think I’d be delusional to think that whatever joy is in this EP was not some kind of reaction to that, trying to offer something positive is definitely my MO in life in general, so that’s always gonna bleed its way onto my records. Like it or not. The intention is to record things that can be effective. If the vibe you feel is fun, great. If you feel any vibe at all, whatever the fuck that means, that’s a win for me. If that happens to be the word ‘fun’ then awesome, there’s a lot shittier adjectives that can be derived from this body of work so I will absolutely take it. My intentions are again to try and honour the songs. When you write something it has its own magnetic pull, it has it’s own gravitational pull that you have to kind of follow. If a song sounds a certain way, you want the lyrics to feel the same way that it sounds, and you want the production to feel the way that it vibes for lack of a better word. All songs have different body types and dressing it up and knowing how to tailor it to accentuate the things that make it fun or sexy is really sort of a strange alchemy. It’s not up to me how people experience it, but that’s what makes it fun. Once you put something out into the world it’s up to other people to use their own adjectives of the suit you tailor. I’m always excited when it leaves my head and becomes somebody else’s experience. So hey, if it’s fun – great!

What do you want people to take away from the project? Obviously, I hope people enjoy themselves. Any musician or artist would hope that there’s some kind of memorable experience to be had from it. If I was talking about what I hope people take away from it, that doesn’t have to do with the music itself, I hope that every time I put out music it’s me broadcasting this notion that this is something that I do, and that this is a big part of my identity. I think the songs themselves and what they’re about and how they feel are less of an insight into my identity as the notion of me putting out music is, because I feel like for any artist your journey is a constant negotiation between how you see yourself and how you would like to be seen, and how audiences are willing to see you. And you know, sometimes that balance is not always even. Sometimes the way they see you isn’t the way you see yourself, and sometimes the way you see yourself isn’t the same as the way they see you, so you want to be somewhere in the middle. And ‘Masquerade’ is a huge step forward for me to try and represent who I am and what I’m about to folks who might not see that. So that’s the biggest goal I think with any release but particularly this one.

Who would you cite as your inspirations? I’m one of those people that, when I say that everything inspires me, I’m not trying to be cute. It’s a problem. It’s an actual scourge on my life, where I find everything interesting. I find everything inspirational. It’s such a core belief that I have that there is inspiration to be derived from every walk of life. Stuff like from a lawn chair to a Bach cantata, there are so many things that can be interesting and incorporated into some creative output. It’s just all about how you look at it and how you can perceive and understand where it comes from. There are so many things that are inspiring to me. Of course, this is the massive macro answer that you weren’t looking for, you’re probably looking for ‘what artist are you inspired by?’ I think I’m just inspired by people who are really genuine to themselves, and this is an ironic answer considering that I actually try to be as many different people as possible. It’s a strange thing that actors are celebrated for not being anything like themselves professionally. And musical artists are separated for being as close to themselves and putting their souls as close to the chopping block as possible. I think I’ve really found my niche as a storyteller. I’m envious of some of the great troubadours of history, that can put their souls out on the record for us and put their own personal experience into things. Leonard Cohen and Joanie Mitchell, and Carole King, more modern people like Taylor Swift who really can just bare their souls for us. I really admire them because that’s not a muscle I have. And when you’re an artist I think ‘Okay so what muscle do I have?’, and I think ‘Okay I’m like a playwright, I can make each story for these songs and try and bring them to life with as much accessible ability and reality, and as much truth as I can convey, that’s not to say they’re disingenuine, they’re born from a genuine idea but they’re supported by my background as an actor. Baring myself isn’t something that comes as naturally for me, I really admire those people and I try and perhaps emulate a lot of their song writing in whatever limited way that I can. Genres are inspiring to me, lets talk about song writing, and then there’s producing which are two different things to me, because when I hear music I hear chords, I hear melody, I don’t listen to the snare sample, but I always hear the bare bones and then I think about production. So as far as producing is concerned I think it’s really important to know all genres and to listen to what makes each one interesting and respecting those genres, and then when you are producing something yourself, and then taking from each thing by knowing why and how they work within that genre, so again to use a song like ‘I Can’t Dance’ which is a nod to late 70s/early 80s, somewhere between disco and new wave, I’m employing the things that make those genres fun, to me at least, and trying to smoosh them together in a way that sounds cohesive. So…everything is inspiring to me, it’s hard. But each song has a different source of inspiration, but they don’t transfer between all songs.

You’ve also wrote for animated series and for Glee, is the process different for producing? “This is actually a very good question. I think this ties into what I was saying before about writing for narrative is something of a calling that I think I’ve realised more recently is kind of where I can plant my feet more easily than any other type of song writing. I was mentioning the people that can bare their souls, some people have a really good ability of putting themselves out there but also writing as a satirist of character that he creates. The person that is a master of this is Randy Newman, he’s one of the greatest American songwriters of the 20th century. He has an amazing ability to create these scenarios or create first person accounts of people that aren’t actually him, but he can contextualise with his literal voice, his song writing voice, and make those their own sort of satirical version of himself. There’s a lot of layers going on there, but I’ve always thought of him as really excellent. He’s like a playwright with music, he’s writing musicals, I mean he’s won Oscars for writing music for narrative! That’s something that I’d really like to do – from a technical standpoint it’s actually very liberating because when you’re writing music with your name on it, you’re the artist, then there’s this sort of weird expectation that you’re trying to service which is why I like this idea of putting the mask on and separating the songs from my own personal experience, because I need to separate myself from my own experience of the music you’re hearing, at least on the surface. My big break was A Very Potter Musical, that I feel to this day are my biggest hits because I don’t really have hits, but as far as the songs that people know that strangers know of songs that I’ve written, they were songs that were written for characters. It’s a bit like painting by numbers. If you just write a song from scratch about anything, it’s like the canvas I’m talking about again. You can do anything, or go anywhere, and that’s overwhelming. Having parameters, knowing where the gates are, is extremely helpful, knowing when the deadline is, knowing how long your party can go for. It means you can maximise the space you know you have. When you write for narrative you go ‘this is the character’, ‘this is how they speak’ – so you already have your lyrical information there – ‘this is how they talk’, ‘this is the singer, the singer has a great range that goes from this note to this note’, ‘in this scene we need the character to go from point A to point B, and we want it to be a song that sounds like X’, so you create all these amazing little ingredients, and I look at artists like a service industry, I really enjoy servicing what the person or the experience requires. When I have a menu of ‘we want this, this, this’, it’s like okay great I’ve got you! A three-and-a-half-minute song that sounds like this song, but has to be in this key and has to be a duet, I really thrive on that. And it’s probably one of my more favourite versions of song writing. And usually there’s a deadline, so I can get it done! Because I need to get it done for production. I really enjoy coming back to writing for narrative, because I did that for Royalties with CJ, and when I realised how much I enjoyed doing that and how productive I was when I was writing for a narrative, that’s when I got into the idea of ‘I need to stop trying to bare my own soul in music’. I think if I treat it like I’m writing for a character, not only can I get it done faster but I feel like I can make things stronger. So that’s when I decided that’s what I’m gonna do for this next EP. Writing for other shows and characters is what helped me realise my strengths as a songwriter.”

What is next for you? What are you most excited for? “As I mentioned I think productivity begets productivity, and that’s exactly what happened with this EP. Even if the pandemic hadn’t happened and I didn’t have the time, I think I would have been just as emboldened from working on Royalties with CJ and it got me very excited about working on music and how much joy that gives me. Any artist will say the same answer, but I think by the time stuff comes out artists are already over it because they’ve been living with it for a year and a half, and in my case over a decade with these songs, so I’m always ready to move on and go to the next thing. Everything is a stepping stone, so I’m very happy that this EP is out, I think it’s a great representation of a lot of stuff that’s been unaddressed for far too long. I just wanna get going, it gets me excited about keeping the ball rolling as a songwriter or as a producer, I just don’t want this to be like ‘This is the thing I did during the pandemic’, I want to keep it going and be more proactive about keeping time aside for it, because that’s the name of the game. When you’re acting or doing music, you have to balance it with time, and this pandemic has shown me how much I enjoy spending time on music, so I’m gonna carry that on. But of course, as soon as I say that, that’s when something unexpected and something too juicy that I can’t keep my hands off it happens on the acting side. One learns to be pretty flexible, because as soon as I say one thing something else will happen, and that’s been the narrative for the past decade of my life. I hope to just keep going. I’ve been this lucky for this long so I’m not gonna pretend like I’m going to keep being this lucky. If I get to act great, if I get to do music great. I can’t believe I’m in a position where its like ‘oh if the acting thing doesn’t work out, I’ll just do music!’ or the other way around, it’s a highly privileged list of options, and I’m fully aware of that. So as long as I can have one or the other to fall back on, I will always be excited about option. It’s not always up to me, so we’ll see. Everything that I’ve put out is just a way for me to renew my lease with my ability to show up for myself as well as people that I don’t knows ability to be interested in what I have to do next. But I won’t flatter myself, I’m not gonna say that lease is forever, so I’m just trying to put in the time and work to keep it at the very least somewhat interesting.”

Photography - Amanda Demme