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such-a-downer · 2 months ago

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And thus, they had fireworks.

Though many have thought that the barbecue party has officially closed, the latest chapter threw in an extra punch. But not in a way that leaves a good taste (to me at least).

Just joking, it's not as long as I wanted it to be. My productivity is very crippled rn.

Indigestion

Sakura is thanked by Umemiya once more for the help but we immediately see him wear wrinkles on his face. He feels as though he still have conflicting feelings about it. In his thoughts, he sways the spotlight towards Roppo Ichiza and Shishitoren for being the ones doing the grind. But it doesn't change the fact that it was him who asked for help in the first place. Even Umemiya himself admits his shortcoming on this.

A Gap That He's Missing

Aside from his indigestion of other people's gratitude (it's practically his chronic bug), Sakura broods over being called "amazing" by Umemiya. To him, it doesn't sit right. Afterall, Umemiya pulled off what he couldn't.

It would probably help Sakura to come into terms with it once he understands what he's missing on: the difference between Umemiya's fight with Takiishi and his fight with Endo.

Umemiya's "I'm winning this"

Sakura who has shut himself away from other people most of his life, wonders if he can be like Umemiya. The obvious answer is no. At least, not so early on. He witnessed the power of Umemiya's resolve. But it seems as though he is yet to understand the tough process for that resolve to be so strong.

Umemiya's resolve is very deep-rooted and has been richly cultivated through the years, a whole experience that is still long ways to go for Sakura.

And this is Umemiya against Takiishi here. These two got history. With no clear winner, the ordeal was dragged on and on until Takiishi's departure. Their fight is simply them picking up where they left off– a settlement. Well, Takiishi's plainly just fixated on fighting Umemiya, savoring the moment. To Umemiya, he just needs to win against Takiishi. It's pretty much simple and straighforward, it is indeed "selfish". By that, I mean the fight just centers around them.

Furthermore, unlike us readers, Sakura doesn't know what's going on Umemiya's head. He sees the sudden exchange between Umemiya and Takiishi but does not fully understand the sentiments behind their words.

Sakura does not know this eureka moment of Umemiya. Perhaps if it's known to him, he wouldn't be so down and glum for not going for the win during his fight with Endo. It would have given him better understanding of the difference between his actions and Umemiya's.

Sakura's "I don't have to win"

On the other hand, Sakura's fight with Endo is quite a mess. Their battle goes beyond just winning against the other. To Sakura, it's a "now or never" gamble but to Endo, it's a matter of mind games. Endo is so good with his words, a manipulative opponent who was so close to breaking Sakura. Had Hiiragi and others did not get to the scene on time, who knows what would have become of Sakura.

Sakura clearly sees Endo as undeniably, the stronger fighter. This causes Sakura to fight with the determination to "drag Endo down with him", to stop Endo from dealing any more damage to Furin.

In spite of Endo's overwhelming strength, Sakura was able to best him out. And that, has something to do with Endo's internal realization.

If Endo was a typical bad guy, he would have ended Sakura long ago, no hesitation. But he is a crazy nut in extremes. He wants Sakura to cross over to his side and for that, Endo was ready to break Sakura. Undoubtedly, he is very capable of that.

Endo wants Sakura (I'm not pertaining to yaoi tones). But he knows can never bend Sakura to his will. Yet he longs for the euphoric sensation that Sakura gives him (again, NOT pertaining to yaoi tones wtf). Endo wants it very much that he let himself be taken down before he knew it.

But since Sakura is oblivious of the effect he has on others, he is still confused after asking Endo about it. Winning is not always based on physical strength. Sakura is yet to fully grasp the idea.

Keeping Him Well-Grounded

With Kaji's help, Sakura was able to get past through his doubts and fear of rejection. In turn, his classmates slapped him with the fact that he is accepted and cherished despite the flaws. Furin has become Sakura's place where he can belong to. As someone who has always been shunned, it is only a natural instinct for Sakura to do what he can just to protect it. Even if it means risking by putting himself on the line.

Sakura is indeed impressive for his growth in such a short time. But at the same time, worrying, as Hiragi said. Someone in the wbk server that Sakura might turn aggressive because of his want to protect his friends and possibly get worse injury. I agree and can see the high chances of it happening. I also have a bad premonition that Sakura's about to fall into a bad relapse in the future, and temporarily put up his pre-Furin persona again.

Right now, it's important for Sakura to realize what his recklessness is doing to him. He needs to understand that self-sacrifice does not guarantee a fix-all solution. He needs to realize how much his presence means to his friends in order to keep himself grounded and not act recklessly.

With firm grounding, Sakura can grow strong, even surpass Umemiya if he wishes so and face whatever comes his way without being blown away.

That's all. Thanks for coming to my Tedtalk.

Sending TLC to Sakura 💕

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lauwittoniphobia · 6 months ago

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Minx doesn't like my drone idea. 😔

I think Star is helping her adjust atleast. She seems to like his company well enough.

#I really think she just. doesn't like what I'm thinking about. over and over.#ugh. i'm so STUPID of all the Pokemon to mess with #I don't want her to be irritable. and she is and its my fault #pkmn irl #irl pkmn #pkmn rp #pokeblog #irl pokemon

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jadeazora · 2 years ago

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It's really funny to me how Lysandre, despite being my personal WORST villain from the games until Rose came along, has somehow ended up with one of the best villain arc chapters in Masters (imo) and generally feels better handled as a character overall there, the best villain team portrayal in the manga, and the best villain arc in the anime.

This guy be winning everywhere else at least.

#lysandre #team flare #pokemon xy #pokemon xy&z #pokemon masters #pokemas #pokeani #anipoke #i liked rose before that stupid forced conflict #like there were so many better ways the writers could have introduced eternatus #like have it break confinement on its own #or have leon mainly lose to it because he's undergoing a crisis of confidence after losing to the player #but no #instead we got “i'm salty you're making me wait this extra day so I unleashed it anyway. this is your fault btw.”#my issue with Lys was mostly how he's played off despite his extremely troubling rhetoric #and his wasted potential #masters fixes him somewhat with the latter and it does feel like he's more open to sycamore and the kids #he's still dangerous and brutal to those who he sees as unworthy to live in his new world #but his interactions with sycamore and the kids are more positive than they were in xy

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wonder-worker · 10 months ago

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A.J Pollard’s biography on Edward IV was so cringe lol (generic; minor but frustrating inaccuracies; intensely judgmental at times and oddly dismissive at others while never considering the broader context; entirely diminished and trivialized Elizabeth Woodville as both queen and wife of his main subject in the name of "defending" her; created a false dichotomy between Edward and Henry VII’s styles of ruling and lauded the latter at the former’s expense even though Henry literally followed Edward’s example for the very things Pollard was criticizing Edward for; had a downright nonsensical and thoroughly misleading conclusion about Edward’s legacy & Richard’s usurpation that was based entirely on hindsight, Pollard's own assumptions, and the complete downplaying Richard’s agency and actions to emphasize what Pollard wrongly and misleadingly claimed were Edward's so-called 'failings', etc, etc)

I wanted to buy his book on Henry V but after reading this shitshow and the synopsis of that book, im guessing it's going to be 10x worse, so...no thanks

#history media #this was written months ago im posting it to get it out of my drafts #it wasn't necessarily BAD. it was generic and readable. but it was very disappointing and misleading and its conclusion was just nonsense #listen I have no patience for the dumbfuck idea that edward somehow had the ultimate responsibility for his own son's deposition because #of his 'policies' during his reign. like I said it's based fully on hindsight and entirely devoid of actual context. it's bafflingly stupid #literally everyone expected Edward V to succeed his father and 'both hoped for and expected' (Croyland's own words) a successful reign #Edward V's deposition was richard and solely Richard's fault lol this should not be difficult to understand #the reason Richard's usurpation was possible in the first place was bcause everyone expected E5 to succeed and didn't expect Richard #do to what he did. nothing would have happened without his initiative and decisions. it had nothing to do with Edward's 'policies'#Edward's policies were fine. henry vii - who pollard vaunts to no end - literally *followed* them #and claiming that he failed to unite England under the Yorkist dynasty is just plain stupid #buddy if he truly failed at that then neither Richard III nor Henry VII would have thrones lol. both emphasized continuity with #him when aiming for the throne. like the whole point of 1483-85 was that it was a conflict WITHIN the 'Yorkist' dynasty #it was not an external threat against it.#'his legacy failed' his legacy didn't fail his brother destroyed it (while also presenting himself as his heir because logic what's logic?)#henry's victory was very much the triumph of his legacy (a claimant chosen by his supporters as the husband of his daughter)#like this is really not my interpretation it is literally what happened #i'm not trying to glorify e4 but his son did inherit the throne in a more advantageous circumstances than any other minor king of england #and frankly than most other adult kings. dumping blame on Edward's literal corpse rather than acknowledge Richard's agency is so tasteless #the problem isn't that edward made a mistake in trusting his brother. many other kings including Henry V also trusted theirs.#the problem is that his brother was willing to break that trust in a way that was unprecedented and broke all political norms of that age #ie: Richard's usurpation occurred because of Richard who re-ignited conflict to make himself king. please drill this into your head #also btw this illogical 'interpretation' is based entirely on Charles Ross' hatred and derision towards Elizabeth Woodville and her family #if you agree with this inteterpretation you agree with his vilification of them 🤷🏻‍♀️#anyway if you want a better interpretation that's actually analytical and looks a relevant rather than a flawed retrospective perspective #i would recommend rosemary horrox's 'richard iii: a study of service' and david horspool's 'richard iii: a ruler and his reputation'#anyway one last time: STOP downplaying Richard's agency and actions. historians who do this are stupid and embarrassing. bye.#(i should really post horspool's glorious takedown of ross and Pollard huh? it was very entertaining to read)

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menhera-jellyfish · 1 month ago

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I shouldn't be too open with some of my feelings. Sometimes your close people give you an impression that you can vent all you want but then some of your feelings are too much for them... I didn't want to attack him or make him feel guilty or manipulate or whatever I just needed to vent my emotions to the only person (I feel) I have (technically not only but I've fixated on him a bit too much recently I guess...). And I was scared that I'm too much I was so scared that I'll be left that I was too much. He said he needs just a little break so I guess it shouldn't be more than a few days (I hope) but I feel like my fear ruined everything. And I feel wrong about it that he feels bad and guilty because of it, and I feel bad because it means I can't just depend on him like that. I can't just voice every of my fears and emotions because of his feelings too. I can't vent about everything...... And now I suddenly feel lonely again. And also in general I'm devasted I know it's not a big deal and he wouldn't leave me after this and it's just a little break for him to get his thoughts together or something but still I feel miserable, I cut myself yesterday (I was clean for over a year) and I feel so much fear and anxiety it's just terrible, even physically at times. I'm scared, I don't want to be alone and maybe I'm scared that even if he won't leave me, he's not a good person to obsess over, maybe I shouldn't like him too much so who it'll be then?? I'm lonely I need someone, I really really need them, I need someone that I can be dependent on, I can't function and be happy when I'm alone I need to have some support I don't know, I don't want to be LONELY. Me and my friends distanced from each other recently because of their various situation in life and it's why I clung so much to the person I'm talking about. I feel bad and I'm sorry for this vent but I need to vent all it somewhere, I can't just text my friends because they probably don't want to hear it, it'll make them feel bad, and I definitely can't text him about it, when we'll text I can't even tell him how miserable I feel because he'll feel guilty again.... I think I may just cut myself again. I hope my new year's eve won't be spoiled because of all that. Also my birthday... (they're like in a week)

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arcadequeerz · 1 month ago

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This is me just Rambling about shit.

God I'm so tired of feeling unlovable. I'm so tired of feeling like no one will love me for me. I always feel like I need to make myself less for people. Or make myself 'Smaller'- and 'Quieter'. Like I take up too much room and i just need to shove myself into a smaller box so I'm easier to care about or drag around. I feel so far behind anyone else my age- being 26 years old and having Literally No Experience with anything basically- makes me feel like a child compared to anyone else.

No one wants to be with the overgrown 26 year old, stupid child who can barely take care of himself or drag his ass out of bed. I just feel like a burden to everyone. It sucks growing up always hearing people 'would' love me if I changed something about myself, or if I stopped doing this, or that- or that if I 'lost weight' I'd be be lovable. It feels like I'm never going to find someone who will look at Me, and Love me- for me. I'll never really mean anything to anyone. Feels like I'll always have to pretend to be someone or something else for anyone to care about me- like I need to be someone else for people to accept me.

Why do I need to change myself for someone to find reason to love me? Why do I need to change my body for someone to see me as worthy to love? I don't want to feel like this forever. I want to love- I want to tell people I love them and hear it back. I don't know how to make myself into someone lovable. I don't know what pieces of myself to hide to become someone lovable or worth loving.

I don't know how to Love and be in a relationship. Realistically I know I can't be in one because I'm too fucked up for it and I don't know how to handle it. It feels like its my fault in the end. I don't know how to be lovable and how to love.

#Cade.vnts #it all feels like my fault. i'm the reason im Like this #I dont know how to be anything or anyone else.#Idk. I think its just stupid of me to want this Shit knowing I can't actually handle anything.

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sskk-manifesto · 10 months ago

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(*・ω・*)b♪

#I'm a bit late but :)#Mmmhh lots of thoughts about this episode. Nothing really relevant though lol #I like it... Mostly. Well‚ I like Atsushi‚ and I like Atsushi screentime.#I always forget that there's actually a one week timeskip within the Guild arc #I think these chapters were generally better executed in the manga.#But even then it's just...#Why do the make the Guild / Fitzgerald so. dumb. Why do they make them act so wildly irrationally and at the protagonists' advantage #It really gives villain acting entirely mindlessly to make the plot advance and the heroes win. It's really sensless.#I mean especially when Atsushi yielded. Why didn't Fitzgerald take his offer. For real!!#For real. He had NOTHING to gain from proceeding with his plan. He already obtained for Atsushi and the ada to collaborate.#Now they are NEVER going to help him‚ and that's agreat loss for him.#And idk. i hear that little Tumblr post in my voice saying “why would you complain about characters acting irrationally!#Do people irl never act irrationally?”#And yeah I get Fitzgerald was frustrated for losing Mitchell and his fight with Hawthorne. Okay I understand.#But that's definitely too much. That's him acting downright stupid at the heroes' advantage and it's just pretty underwhelming to read?#That said. It's just general notes I'm not particularly annoyed because like. That's just b/s/d to you. Dumbing down the villains a second–#so the author can escape the trap they put themselves into. Very Marvel-esque move lol.#On that exact same note WHY WOULD LUCY HAVE THE DOLL.#The doll is the whole premise for your plan working why would you not protect it with everything 😭😭😭#I'm not getting in the Lucy / Atsushi scene itself. I love Lucy but I swear every time that scene gets played a femminist dies #(it's me. I'm the femminist dying every time.)#Mmmhh a couple more things. I dislike the ost choice in the scene where Steinbeck is torturing Q it feels so out of place #And I really don't get what's the deal with the Hawthorne / Fitzgerald convo it's so confusing to me. Like it It looks like Hawtorne is–#blaming Fitzgerald for Mitchell's condition (both in health and for her family status) but...#Objectively neither of those things are Fitzgerald's fault? Idk maybe I just have very little media comprehension for this arc because–#a lot of things just seem to happen with no sense. But it's okay #Im complaining a lot lol but its mostly irrelevant things (or like with the dumbification of villains things I've learnt to live with lmao)#But the episode was generally nice. The animation this season is consistently very pretty.#random rambles

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thebloodykarte · 2 months ago

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doomerposting or whatever but i really am entering a sense of suicidal grief knowing in my lifetime i have no chances anymore of being able to fully socially come out and be the person i've been from the start without bringing my own physical safety and housing into question with it. i'm too weak to not just repress until i die.

#i'm on T still but i feel like ill eventually have to lose that too #not like ill ever pass or anything #i wish i was never born. i wish my parents were still happy and one of them was alive and didnt overdose.#i know its my fault. it always was.#stupid tranny thinks its not a complete life ruining monster

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lv56steelix · 5 months ago

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by default i'm constantly imagining conversations and social situations where i am either fucking up or the people around me are upset at me. how tf do i channel that into imagining like. a cool sword? or at least people being nice to me instead of hating me ;-;

#anyway everything has been my fault since i was born and i feel pretty normal about that #like honestly i feel fine rn this is just an observation #i've been aware that i immediately find a way that my thoughts desires and actions are bad and hurt other people #but i don't think i'd fully clocked how constantly i'm just mentally humiliating myself until like 5 mins ago lmao #like i was thinking about mentioning a friend to another friend and within 30 seconds everyone in this imaginary conversation was mad at me #idk its definitely connected to my inability to take my own side on anything #(at least mentally. i advocate for myself but only after agonizing over it. therapist and i have been talking abt that one)#whatever most of this is in the tags and that's stupid oops #vent

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iwakuraz · 6 months ago

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okay I'm too annoyed to even be online probably but sometimes I wonder. why do my parents and the rest of my family just refuse to acknowledge the fact that I have arfid. why are you trying to force me to eat food that I cannot eat without feeling extremely fucking sick and terrible. I've been through so much pain and fear because of food I'm tired of pretending I haven't. I'm so tired of things being like this

#mole talks #i didn't even know arfid was a thing until about a year ago #i spent a good fifteen years believing i was just a stupid childish picky eater #because thats what they told me i was. how was i meant to know it wasn't my fault #why do they always think everything is my fault!!! they have no idea how hard i try #something goes wrong and its immediately my fault #i make a mistake and boom! i'm gonna be made fun of for it #but i would never get listened to if i point out one of them did something that hurt me #i just never get taken seriously no matter where i am in real life #i'm so tired. i need to get offline

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minty-bubblegum · 1 year ago

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BRO WHY AM I ABOUT TO CRY

#FUCK ITE BKURRY #RAHHH #MOIN THIS IS FAULT #I LOEV YOU YOO #TAKAKLSKSLS #😭😭😭😭😭#THIS IS YOURRRR FAULLTTT 😭😭😭😭😭😭#I'M GOING TO COLLAPSE AND DIE #💞💞💞💞💞💞#stupid ass song you sent me has me crying because . 😭😭#I'm so glad I'm actually that dear to you <3 #Not my usual cup of tea but I absolutely fucking love it

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duusheen · 1 year ago

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your blog tastes like warm toast

-👽

😳 r-really? Yummy 🤤

#so random i love this sm #i have like 4hs of sleep so I'm kinda 🤪 its my fault for getting obsessed with a stupid serie #I fell asleep at 11:30am lmao and woke up at 14:30 ☠️#i have no regrets tho now I have an excuse to buy a monster i guess 🫡#du replies

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definitelynotnia · 1 year ago

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got a piece of glass stuck in my foot and my mother chose that moment to start yelling about how stupid and lazy i am like :) we're not taking customer feedback right now ma'am :) there is literally my blood on my hands can u please maybe wait :) and do this at another time :)

#for context the thing that broke was not even hers it was mine i ordered it for myself and she didn't tell me it arrived and just kept it in #her wardrobe #and then she asked me to fetch smthn from her messy asf wardrobe and she had kept it (made of glass) in the utmost corner of her very messy #and packed shelf #and obv one of the bottles in the shell was almost empty so when my hand brushed against it it fell and knocked down the glass bottle #bcz it was kept in the c o r n e r #but its ok it was an accident but still it was my accident so i just silently started clearing it up and she obv started yelling at me but #thats fine ive grown up in this household i know that when u do smthn accidentally its always bcz u are a dumb ho and when ur brown parents #do smthn accidentally then its fine bcz accidents happen and also that too is actually ur fault somehow bcz if u hadn't done xyz then 5 day #later this never wouldve happened #but wtv its fine wtv #and then i noticed the piece of glass sticking outta my foot and she watched me try to pull it out with my nails #and once i pulled it out it slipped from between my nails and fell onto the floor #and immediately she started yelling at me again saying i 'threw' it onto the floor on purpose like bitch I'm bleeding bcz of that thing why #would i risk bleeding again #and secondly i was literally picking up all the glass shards two seconds ago why would i throw this onto the floor on purpose when i litera #lly emptied the floor of glass two MINUTES AGO #and when i told her it just slipped and i didn't do it on purpose she's like dont argue with me i saw what happened like oh did u #im sure only u did its not like it was IN MY HAND I'm sure you had a better view than i did of what is in MY hand #this is such a stupid thing to rant about on tumblr but I'm just so tired #i literally had just woken up from a nap i was minding my own business trying yo make myself some coffee #this just irritated me so damn much like #if u really think im that much of a dumb lazy bitch then why did u ask me to do that thing for u in the first place ur literally sitting #in front of the wardrobe why didnt u just go and fetched that thing from ur wardrobe by yourself #ugh wtv this is ridiculous

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stardust41 · 1 year ago

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. TW PERSONAL VENT!!!

(Because i cant talk to anyone about this rn)

#i feel so fucking useless #this is the year i have the most responsibilities #the most work #and only one month to fix a bunch of things that could literally change my future #and I've been doing nothing #i dont know if its thr adhd #or I'm just that fucking stupid of a person thati cant do anything right #i had so much time this weekend to fix things and I did motherfucking nothing #aside from worrying #MY LIFE IS GOING TO SHIT AND ITS ALL MY FAULT #i have no clue what to do but i havent done anything to change it and thats what pains me the most #because I feel like a lazy ass that can do nothing right #i have been enjoying life more this year but I've also been fucking up so many things #i feel like life would be so much easier if time just stopped #like completely #for a while at least #but even then even if it stopped for a while year I know i would fuck things up and do all things i needed to do right at the last minute #like always #just fucking my own life up and disappointing everyone #vent.tw #vent post #tw vent #stfu star

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judithbutlersdealer · 2 years ago

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i’m for real trying to stay positive but revising for my stats exam is literally making me believe i will never work in any of the fields i want to work in 🤪

#like. i love stats. i love data. i love information. and i understand it all so well #but on a deeper level i just feel so fucking stupid about it all #and i feel like its my fault for not realizing i liked/would need all this shit until i was halfway through undergrad #and didnt start formally learning it until second semester of my masters #and now i'm almost done with being a student! and i still dont feel confident about it!#so its just like. okay. either i master all this shit like right now or i can say goodbye to all my career ambitions #which is not a helpful thought. and yet a bitch do be having it

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mare-the-silly-scroingle · 2 years ago

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not popular not lonely but a secret third thing (has a significant number of online friends but is incapable of talking to anybody frequently enough to forge actually strong bonds with so now she’s just forming pseudo-best friendships with a lot of people without there actually being much of anything there aside from my capacity to give people what they want sometimes and the farce that we all put up)

#dont rb #i think abt this a lot like. honestly no i DONT really have mahy close online friends #like i realize this sounds bad and i need u to know i do care about all my online friends a lot #but relationships aren't just how much i love someone its how much work i put into it #and for a thousand reasons that are mostly my fault i don't put the work into anything #i can be someone's 'best friend' even when we don't talk for 3 months #when their other best friend talks to them daily #you know what i mean #ppl say i'm kind and friendly and approachable a lot but i wonder how many people are actually satisfied with the way i act around them #it just feels fraudulent.#i think im gonna do something stupid again

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