#i dont know if its thr adhd

[stardust41]

. TW PERSONAL VENT!!!

(Because i cant talk to anyone about this rn)

[oddity-txt]

I learn a lot of facts and knowledge to hide the fact that i’m a dumbass

[br1ghtestlight]

and i also hate adhd/some autistic ppl being like "well i can reclaim the r slur" like 1. you shouldnt and 2. no you can't (unless obviously there's another diagnosis or whatever). It was not ever about you and your gifted kid burnout lmao

[the-eyemunchies]

A small discussion. We all know ghoatbusters is autisti media, but can we talk about how all the ghostbusters are definitely neuroatypical (except for Winston).

So this is my Thread(i will only be using the movies but i could add so much more with the Real ghostbusters):

So let's start with the easy one, Egon is Obviously Autistic, he is the steriotypical autistic person, blunt, which shows difficulty in communication, has a hard time with socialization and has repetitive and behaviour. (Yes, those are the main 3 traits to define autism according to the dms-5 ), but we can add in some other stuff like he restrictive eating and hyperfocus that arent defining traits but are also associated.

Now let's go for Ray, i see a lot of people mentioning of autistic behaviour related to Ray and well due to Dan himself being autistic. but i will throw a thing out here, Ray has ADHD Not autism, specifically the mixed adhd which brings in the lack of attention along with hyperactivity. (i know the spectrum shows differently in each person but this is my headcanon and what i observed) So lets start, he is very impulsive, and take actions sometimes without even thinking, plus very active, childish, and he lacks a lot of attention like they'd be talking about a thing and stantz would trail off or even start something without even considering causes, like with the proton packs, ray was the first one to offer himself even if it is a nuclear weapon. He could go overboard like when he is asked to scream to the mood slime and goes over the top, and now that's not necessarily a adhd characteristic, but it's common, he is very adoptive and quickly witted.

Now, for the one no one ever talks about when mentioning about neurodiversity in ghostbusters and my favourite Venkman.

Oh, how do i start with this one, thats the most AuDhD person, in the movies the phrases like "Good or bad is a bit fuzzy in my mind" or "dont stare at me you have the bug eyes, im sorry" both the situation, of not exactly understanding the morals or social effects and of not liking to be stared at, (he barely looks at people faces while talking to them) The lack of feel and being rather apathetic, being calm to react to stuff, like on the second on thr mocie when they were being judged and he was telling louis exactly what to say and yet extreme impulsive action, like the way he behaved with peck, his extreme sincerity and plus even tho he is very communicative his ways of communication are very directed as in the need to alrewdy have a theme or create a move. he needs a topic to communicate with people, like i found it so stupid that he used the experiment to hit on the girl on the first scene then he used jokes to die out his anxiety and he is not very expressive and to actually talk to dana he used the excuse of the ghost hunting, and the way he began to freak out about the ectoplasma (now obviously im over exagerating) could be seen as sensory issues, much like ray he also gets side tracked and distracted a lot. It's hard to have two voices in ya head telling the most logical and other one telling the impulsive intrusive thought, and he shows the mixture of the two perfectly. and if you want to push even farther in, we can discuss dislexia. The fact he has to ask Ray to read certain words for him and tell him what it says is already very interesting. (Adding in Bill murray is not openly autistic, but there were mentions about it in old interviews and some stuff in different people mentioning the possibility. but for the section of factuality, let's say no)

It could've been an accident or not, but here we have it. this is my belief that none of this is canon. im not Dan nor Harold remis im just a person who really likes those characters and is also Autistic.

i love this picture of ernie hudson its so silly

[dervampireprince]

Hi prince :3 would you ever like consider making audios with listener having explicit mental illnesses? Like .. autism, did, etc . （＾＿＾）also ,, might become a patreon this month !!!!!!!!

I've thought about, I've made ones where the speaker has autism or DID, but not ones where the listener does mostly for two reasons,

1. my audios are based off my patreon requests and i either haven't had requests for these, or i can only do so many requests per month and there's others i'm drawn too more

2. worry about acutely portraying mental illnesses, especially of its ones i don't have. even with having voiced eg marc spector who has DID, I've never done an audio where he wants confort for having DID because that doesn't feel right for me to make. i have had and turned down before request/s for an autistic listener having a meltdown because i have no idea what to do for that audio as for me personally when im having a meltdown the last thing i need is someone talking to me trying to comfort me, I need to be left on my own so I have no idea what to say in an audio trying to comfort someone in that situation when I wouldn't want anyone to say anything to me, hope that makes sense.

Of course everyone's free to imagine themselves as any of the listener characters in my audios including the listener character having whatever mental illnesses you have. I hope the audios always sound inclusive to that, I know I try and mention things in comfort audios like panic attack/regression ones like asking if the listener is able to talk, saying its okay if they can't (alluding to them potentially having a verbal shutdown) , and so i hope people know any listener character is there to be like you and if you imagine the listener character has any mental illnesses you're welcome too.

Making a comfort audio for someone else's mental illness feels like a big weight on me in terms 'what if I get some wrong? What if I say something in the audio that makes whoever listening with this mental illness feel worse or panic or triggered' and that fear makes it too scary for me to have made any audios for mental illnesses and I don't have. And for ones that I do, not everyone experiences then the same way, autism is a spectrum and I don't want to say an autistic listener character acts one way and then thr requester or people in the comments be upset because that's not true of how they act.

For some mental illnesses and mental health topics I won't make audios on as they're too serious and/or triggering and those are listed in my audio request guide post (link is in pinned post).

And some people not understanding that I'm not their therapist, that they should not vent or trauma dump on me in requests is part of the reason why i closed commissions ages ago. It just got far too stressful to have people asking for comfort audios for very serious and triggering topics.

Tldr: So I don't know, sorry this answer got long, I just wanted to get all my thoughts about it out. I dont know if I will make audios with explicitly mentally ill listeners (other than panic attack comfort audios) as I don't want to risk generalising any mental illnesses, and I get too anxious and stressed worrying about if ill say the wrong thing and someone listener who's in a vulnerable state will feel worse for it. But my audios are always inclusive to people with autism, adhd, DID/osdd, and other mentally illnesses and its always fine to interpret the listener character as having those mental illnesses as they're supposed to be able to be anyone who is listening

[d3ard3ughter]

Dumping (New & Old) Sunny headcanons

Dumping sunny hcs nowww

- Sunny’s p mentally delayed in development and all due to spending four years after Mari’s death when he was 12 just sleeping and doing the bare minimum to care for himself alongside the neglect from his mother so alongside physical growth he is mentally stunted

- Kel is usually the one being told he stinks/hj but you know its bad when kel is shoving Sunny to shower or something because of how long he’s neglected himself

Like people dont wanna talk about how long you neglect yourself with depression and stuff and how bad it is i think he rarely bathed during those four years

And the trauma heightened everything too so that near drowning experience before made him just not wanna be in water too and just some sensory related issues with water

- he has v sensitive hearing and like tons of sensory issues

He gets overstimulated easily and its a whole mess because he can’t express himself well

- he’s autistic and selectively mute adhd too

- he uses sign language alongside just physical contact and stuff and or communication cards and just writing stuff

- Sunny goes non-verbal even if its not stressful but its just a big thing and all or a stressor he reverts

- still p childish due to the lack of aging mentally and just trying to keep it thr way it was before per se

And hes also on the late developmental spectrum of autism

- he said his first words p late at 3-4 and it was “mari” but sunny had a bit of speech impediment so speech therapy and it was “mawi” for ages

- he’s Japanese & Korean alongside English he speaks both but like he had difficulties in learning some

Korean was mainly at home and English outside but he had difficulties in learning

- yk the raw steak and all thing? That is no longer his favorite food it makes him sick

- Sunny used to wear Mari’s clothes a lot whether it or not they were old

He likes skirts in general a lot

The cotton-y flowy ones because they aren’t restricting

- Sunny’s voice is developed really well due to lack of speech so it hurts to speak at times and its just raspy and all his baby face does not go with thr deep quiet voice he has (but it’s still a very very quiet hushed voice)

- Sunny’s bi and he had a crush on Aubrey as implied in canon and also Basil

- he has a collection of stuffed animals and blankets that he’s piled on his bed the only thing is it’s not messy like you’d expect it’s meticulously organized was his side of the room and mari’s was a “mess” but she knew where everything was

- Sunny tends to mimic people a lot especially those he is close with like Mari for example

- After the good ending, Sunny grows his hair out to be like Mari’s. Unlike before when he hadn’t realized how long it’d grown in the past and had to cut it from sheer panic

- artistic v much so he likes to draw and write shit but most of it will never see the light of day despite the horrifyingly good detailed nightmare fuel je wants hero to hang up on the fridge

- Mari and Hero’s nickname for him is “sunshine”

- Mari named sunny because he straight up was a nameless baby for ages and she called him sunny and ir stuck

- Sunny sounds v sarcastic and dry and all in everything even when he isn’t and it’s almost Mirroring Mari’s issues in sounding rude and not genuine so they both have to overcompensate

- Sunny has RSD.

- severe separation anxiety

- i think he is still kinda religious he believes in god but that’s about it

Especially because it kinda got shoved down his and mari’s throats as kids he stuck to it but mari drifted away really

- Sunny is just really dense romantically to for any of the ships the others just have to yank him and say it straight up for him to realize hey, somethings there

- He doesn’t register any flirting or sarcasm

- v sensitive but he just wasn’t raised to think its safe to cry or put it out there but he was v emotional when he was little and it was overwhelming with no outlet

- high sympathy autistic actually and its a probably meanwhile maris low empathy autistic

- Sunny becomes a tattoo artist as an adult in the good ending

- sunny doesn’t register flirting or is good at it but he can be kinda bold about things without thinking about it and he catches everyone off guard

- Sunny is v clumsy

- he’s anemic so that and being a klutz results in so much Hero questions about him and hes like?? I dont know where that bruise is from

- he was a preemie (born prematurely) so more stunted growth too

- v sick kid all of the time

- woo pulmonary fibrosis

- iron deficiency squad member/hj

- sunny is v sarcastic as a person and he doesn’t even realize iy eithrr but at the same time hes somewhat aware he will get punched if you allow him to say what he wants most the time

He says something so out of pocket and promptly stops verbalizing anything

OKAY THIS ONE IS REALLY STUPID BUT

- Sunny’s knife is his emotional support, he snatched it from Hero & Kel’s kitchen so when Kel takes it from him he realizes that was the missing knife and is like ?? “Why do you have our knife???”

- Mari & Hero would always Kiss injuries better for the younger kid and Sunny is convinced it still worked so Basil does it for Sunny’s eye and when sunny stabbed aubrey he tried to do that ti apologize and aubrey was slike “WHAT THE FUCK??”

- Sunny has a scar where his eye was stabbed

He goes between just with his eye/socket or just a eyepatch too

- has to wear sunscreen just to go outside or else he will just be burned. (It’s good to protect yourself anyways) but Sunny is just so pale and sensitive skin and Mari always ingrained it into him to lather sunscreen to go outside

- Sunny sucked on his thumb for a long time as a kid as a form of self-soothing that his and Mari’s parents - particularly their dad always found annoying and would make him stop.

- Rocking and just hugging himself and rubbing his arms is also more self-soothing Sunny tends to do.

- Sunny has a sensory processing disorder.

- Sunny purrs when sleeping or comfortable.

- Has a maladaptive daydreaming disorder.

- Sunny stares and makes eye contact way too much he doesn’t realize it, especially in bow it’s considered weird.

- Sunny doesn’t blush in romantic situations but mostly when embarrassed in particular. Or when he’s happy.

[originsofevil]

Intro <3 !

I go by Michelangelo or any variation of that

(usually michael/mikey but names dont mean much to me)

but i recently found out that i'm the host of a system so if any tags are signed off with a different name thats why

dont care too much abt pronouns but i typically use he/him, ve/vir, and xe/xir/xem. mix it up, get creative. typically dont use she/her but ynever know

body is 21, we're an aries if u wanna make any judgement off of that, autistic + adhd if that wasnt obvious

i do post occasional nfsw/suggestive content, never anything too crazy but if youre a minor id prefer if you didnt interact with those posts, i have no way of enforcing this as i dont check my notifs unless theres tags but i am a full adult, i do pay rent and bills and taxes. on that topic i probably wont follow you if youre under like. 16/17ish. no hard feelings i just am an adult and im not around kids very much as the 2nd youngest of 4 so. if youre under 16 dont do drugs stay in school all that good stuff. i love you, go to bed on time. i've been on this website since i was 11 and it shows. dont be me.

dms are always open ! i'm not amazing at holding a conversation unless its abt my current hyperfixation (rn its zelda/lu) but i love to yap. if you follow me and we're not mutuals dm/ask me and ill follow back! I don't rly pay attention to my followers so i typically don't follow ppl unless theyre consistently posting abt one of my interests and i remember to

I talk in the tags a LOT feel free to <- prev or rb addressing my tags but i typically assume no one will read them all the way through. i'm writing whole essays. im oversharing. call op a college admissions office bc I'm telling my whole life story. if my tags make you uncomfortable on your post please let me know and i will apologize/delete them if you wish. i dont have a concept of tmi and tend to misread/miss social cues/the vibes so i apologize if i misstep

please let me know if i reblog any stolen artwork/ai generated anything/ etc

‼️‼️i am not spoiler free for anything (even if i myself havent seen the content) i dont have any sort of tagging system ‼️

list of my active fandoms! old hyperfixations tend to creep up on me so this is not complete

- bungo stray dogs (bsd beast fans pls follow me i adore beast)

- legend of zelda (all games + lu/links meet aus)(legend fans pspspsp)

- the witcher (mainly the show but i got attached to a character thats not even actually in any of the games. aiden i love you.)

- cars (2006, 2011, 2017)(yes entirely unironically)

- Voltron legendary defender. (again. yes. unironically.)

- star wars (mainly the main series and animation since i havent read thr or played the games)

- jujutsu kaisen (2nd years stan)

- the magnus archives (gerry delano fans i love you)

- percy jackson (mainly the books and musical, i dont care for the show much but i adore the actors)

- gravity falls ! (i actually just got into this like, last month. binged the whole series in like a week at age 21.)

- my hero academia (my hs best friend made me watch s1 and i got attached to aizawa hawks and the todorokis sorry)(im convinced the todorokis were based on my family. im literally natsuo. dont ask abt dabi unless u think you're prepared)

Non Fandom Interests

- I write ! once i start uploading ill link my ao3 here but its rough out here (microsoft word)

- I draw ! i mightve posted my art a few times but as i mentioned i dont have any tagging system so maybe I'll make one for art or link another social at some point

- this mostly falls under loz but i love video games :3 i MOSTLY play loz but animal crossing, minecraft, and random silly da games ive collected over the years are my pride and joy. i want to play the witcher games but i have assassins creed black flag and im really bad at it. (i only have nintendo consoles (ds, 3ds, switch) rn but i want a decent pc at some point. the sims calls to me.

- Politics! my politics are very important to me as a leftist so if you're right wing we will not get along. if i find out that youre racist/homophobic/transphobic/a zionist (i am jewish)/sexist/etc i will probably block you. id say no hard feelings but i dint mean that.

I will probably update this as needed/whenever i remember to <3 ty if u read this and i love you have a great day

[inutaffy]

i have an entire video of me explaining thr monty winston situation and my thoughts (before finding out he died) and its 7 minutes ans 17 seconds long and i have extreme adhd i dont know if all of that is even ab monty 😭

[mxm249]

After not playing a fuckton of games till 3 am lately I've realized I've got to really restructure my life

I've been so fucking stressed lately and my physical health is taking its toll

Aches across my body

A near constant pain in my leg and my back legit hurts almost all the time

I don't eat right or take time for myself that actually helps

Being addicted to video games (and specifically FFXIV) is not something I'm happy to admit

And I really want to continue on n stuff but I need to be real with myself. Doing things that I like to an extreme extent is hurting me the same as if I was doing stuff I didn't want to do. I need to regulate all things in my life. I need to start eating legit diets with caloric counts and stuff. I need to correct and keep my sleep schedule consistent

I've got outstanding obligations, bills, and I need to book appointments for my physical health(eyes and teeth). As well as see other doctors for this pain in my leg that I have a suspsion that it could be DVT. Or about the sprawling acne across my body that I haven't take seriously and is a source of stress and anxiety. Or how about a nutritionist so I can make sure I'm getting a proper diet so I don't die of heart failure in 5 years.

I need to start forming a routine of exercise and stretches. I am definitely not in a healthy condition currently and it will over time do plenty of damage.

I've got to take proper care of my dogs and I mean actually take care not this lazy bullshit I've been doing. Take care and maintain the fish I've got and actually take care of the chickens at my house

And I need to take my faith more seriously

It's very easy to see things that I dont and push them away. That kind of desire isnt simple to address exactly. But it's infinitely harder to admit when the things you do that you really do enjoy doing are an actual source of distress and your obsession with them is doing a ton of damage without realizing it. I've got to remove my identity from the actions I take. I may have played my games my entire life but it doesn't define me as much as I'd like to think.

It's extremely hard to find the line of self compassion to take care of myself, but I can't be so lenient to thr point that I fall back into my old same habits and excuse then because "I've got to be kind to myself"

That is gonna get me no where at all. I also need to work towards building more discipline. After taking Adderall for a couple weeks and realizing to my utter horror that I'm not some super secret crazy machine locked behind adhd. I have a severe lack of motivation regardless if I've got adhd or not. Motivation is built not found and I need to start building the foundation to let it flourish.

I want to learn to do bunch stuff but really my desire to think about doing stuff

Not actually sitting down and learning from the ground up certain skills. I've thought myself a writer for a long time. You wanna know how much writing I've got done? Almost none, just a few half finished stories spread across my Google drive. I'd like to think myself a reader, the amount of books I've read from front to cover could probably be counted on my fingers and toes. It's sad honestly.

But I wont get trapped into a spiral of self loathing

I have come so extremely far from where I've started

Childhood was fucking rife with stress and fear, I see it in my everday life. My relationship with my parents is either wobbly or non-existant

I could have gone down so many worst paths but I didn't

Ive got a mostly screwed on head on a more or less capable* body

I've got friends and people who care for me. And while I think I need to actually sit down and evaluate all of my relationships, it's far better than starting from 0

I've got a relatively stable job and while my be extremely stressful job, it gives me the ability to sort of afford healtcare and it's a privilege that I cannot take for granted

I am more aware of my faults than ever but rather than want to kill myself over them I've got the chance to fix them

I still remember standing outside with my sister as a 9 year old telling her I didn't want to be alive anymore. And I remember her telling me that she was gonna tell mom and I was deathly afaird and begged her to not

She didn't, but fucking imagine that. A fucking little kid wanting to kill themselves, it's absolutely horrifying. I reflect on that and it gives me pain, how could anyone let that happen? But it gives me the strength to know how to change things for others going forward

There was a lot wrong in my life and there are so many people who have hurt me

But rather than become another faceless critic I'm gonna do my best to stand up and be the kind and compassionate person I think everyone should be.

This is just another day in the ever moving journey towards a sort of self improvement. To find the fire and strength to keep going, but to find the compassion and mindfulness to be kind to myself and others. I'm doing what I can to try and cultivate what I truly think is important to have in life.

Im still struggling to really accept and realize self love, it's something I stress out over a lot. I am extremely self conscious. I think it's literally my last post, I'm always worried I talk too much or talk over people. Im really unsure if I actually do, or if I'm overthinking everything. I know it's a lot of the latter.

I've been reading a book lately and I think it's been helping a lot. Its from a monk who's quote "Don't take your life personally" has been one I've pondered and thought about for a couple of years. And now I am finally reading the book

I'm happy I've found Buddhism, it's given me confidence in a lot of ways, and I always find refuge into the 3 jewels. I am really hoping to continue onward with my journey and have Buddhism be the guide to which I live.

I've probably been writing too long and I've got work pretty early.

If anyone sees this please take a deep breath. I appreciate really anyone who would read this. Everyone deserves to be loved and loving. I hope you know youve got the strength to take on the hardships of life, but the wisdom to not let it ruin you

Please take care everyone!

[bastardguy]

(haha there's very icky thoughts in this so don't read if it triggers ye, if anyone's reading this lmao) boy! it's one of those nights ain't it haha. ultrasadness. i dont have people to talk to which, yknow i feel like a lot of people don't have others to talk to. but anyways! i am sad! f! the most annoying aspect of myself i dislike is how one moment im daydreaming because hehe escapism and dont wanna talking to people at all then the, next moment im unbearably sad and i wanna! have friends that aren't people from my imagination. it's my fault, yep, its allll my fault, im not even trying to be sarcastic here, i know i should actively seek out people to be friends with them but!! im in my element to run around pretending i made fucking animations for my friend group that also exists! totally! it makes me feel great and content until i realise its not real! god am i pathetic haha! how do i improve ? how? why am i like this? is it because my brain views my escapism as safer and more wondrous then reality? to the po in t talking to people just? bore me? it's weird as hell, im probably just a selfish git but i genuinely look at chats and either go "conversation going,, i no want join cause rude" or "there's no point they're all so boring. being alive is boring. your life, your personality, you as a person is boring. that's why he left. he left for someone else he already had plans with, someone who he can actually see regularly in person in the future, someone who makes him happy. you never made him happy. he was miserable being stuck with you, that's why he left, that's why he immediately got into another relationship with someone else. you're why he lied to you, you're the problem, he hates you, you were an abusive fuck who couldn't keep his mouth shut and never changed. he's going to spend years being happy with someone and he's glad he's left you. he hates you. he hates you. he hates you. he hates you. you're the problem. don't ever try again, you don't have thr privlage to die, not yet. wait until everyone's finally tired of your manuplitive, selfish shit then kill yourself. die. just fucking die. just die. no one will stay loving you, you'll be forgotten, why did you say so much? you're fucking obsessive and its all your fault. you existing in the first place was a mistake, when have you ever brought joy to people? when had anyone be glad that you're here? you're better off dead, you're better off dead. you know if she had the choice mother would pick a normal person as a child in a heartbeat. you know if she knew you were going to turn out this way she would have fucking killed you herself because you've been nothing a burden. she'll leave, just like he left and everyone else did. so what if you just followed along with everything they were saying? you should've been smart enough not to be a dick you asshole. anyone that comes into your life will leave, everyone will leave, everyone is going to leave. even thinking about this you're cementing it, it's going to happen because you're thinking so hard about it. all bad things happen to you because you think about them. it's your fault. every bad thing that happens is your fault, you deserve all the slander that will come to you, you will die alone. you will die alone. no one will miss you, you've had a sad pathetic lonely life being unwanted. and it's all your fault. suffer. suffer. suffer. suffer. suffer. suffer. you ungrateful, selfish bastard-" and its very unpog i dont like my brain.

i wish i could find life enjoyable again, i wish i liked talking to multiple people, i wish i had multiple people to talk to. i wish i, didn't have these fucking attachment and abandonment issues that just make me terrified of being close with someone again. i think i have rejection sensitive dysphoria and oh! boy! MM. an internal conflict of "do i have adhd or is it just my anxiety and life long loneliness" had been going on in my brain. because if i had adhd i think thatd explain, a lot actually uYubun, but also those symptoms could stem from uhh, childhood issues and stuff pfft. like id be socially withdrawn and daydream a lot, to the point where i avoided playing with other kids just so i could walk around the yard to think about stuff, which are symptoms of adhd but also it's because "brain got lowkey traumatised being neglected on a plane for so long as a baby without its mother then just got whipped around the country serveral times giving me 0 safe secure places." i, i don't know man. that's a lot i have to talk with my therapist in like half an hour haha.

wow i talk about my problems too much this is why he left me 😩

a ok uhm, uh, yea! im very lonely haha. there's like, a person who i could chat with but i dont want to bother them. they're a good friend but they've been busy and i feel like im highkey using them. which is not pog at all! im not fun to talk with and im very annoying hahaha!

why are people so untrustworthy. why am i sad? only god knows but im god, so god doesn't know.

i think me despretly trying to talk to someone while im sad is so, utterly selfish and pathetic. i mean come on man why only now? haha.

i mean i did start to emulate a lot of his bad behaviour but! it's ok i know what's bad to do know and ive learnt from this experience and am moving forward.

where does forward lead? i dont know! probably jobless and suicide but hahaha! im not gonna make it past 25 baby! im gonna fall in love with someone then they'll leave forever and ill die!! After my mum gets sick of me!! hahhaha!!!!! im not unstable right now, i don't even wanna die! that'd be so selfish id break my parents! haha! i want someone to love me as much as i love them and to hold them in my arms! i wanna be comfortable with someone! i wanna be held! i want someone who won't cheat on me!! i wanna be loved!! woohooo!!! that's all i want! yknow what else i want? a friend group thats genuinely happy to see me! people i can eat lunch with and laugh with! people that don't make me feel small and pathetic! and why can't i have that? because im a piece of filth that doenst deserve any of it because ive done nothing to earn it! how the fuck do i do stuff! to talk! how do i not feel hopeless and small all the time? no matter what i fucking say im going to be yelled at for not being positive! fuck! fuck. fuck you.

[odysseys-blood]

,eh

[ah17hh]

Married couple experimenting with poly, encountered issue in sexuality, need Help! via /r/polyamory

Married couple experimenting with poly, encountered issue in sexuality, need Help!

Not sure if this post belong here entirely, but here it is.

Me(M26) and my wife(F25) have been married for almost 2 yrs now. We live together. She has been struggling with mental health issues pretty much her entire life, I try my best to provide her with a low stress environment and be very gentle with her. She is currently on anti-depressant and mood stablizer, which makes her functionally asexual. When we just started dating/first half year or so into marriage, we would have sex or at least something sexual about twice a month or so. But now as time goes on,(and maybe new medication effect) we would probably have some sort of sexual interaction once every couple months.

Right before COVID lockdown, she encountered a girl(we ll call her A here) in her group therapy, whom is poly, which I got to met and we all hangout a few times. And one time after a hangout with A, my wife jokingly brought up that she'd want to date A, and I answered with me too, then we got into a more serious discussion about it and we both agreed to give it a try and ask A if she'd be interested in having a relationship with us. So the next time we hangout with A, we brought it up, but unfortunately, it didnt work, because some reasons with A's current relationship. So thats where the poly idea started.

With COVID lockdown, staying home is making my wife's anxiety/depression/ADHD really hard to cope with, so I suggested that we both go on Tinder and maybe give poly another try / kill some time, she could find another emotional support person, and maybe I can find a person who can satisfy my secual needs. She quickly got many matches(as probably usually how girls Tinder goes), and after many people, she started to chat with a guy regularly(we ll call him B here), after about a month of chatting on Tinder/SC, she brought up a few times that she'd want to meet up with B, I didnt allow that simply due to B was still working and I did not want to spin my wheel with COVID. As time goes by, the topic got brought up more and more times, i didnt want her to feel like I m using COVID as an excuse to not let her see B because I m not ok with poly or whatever. So I allowed her to meet up with B, with masks, and proper sanitation. That happened about 2 months ago, and since then, they've met up a few more times, and last time they met up, afterwards she told me they had hit 2nd base(if thats the proper term, excuse my English, not first language). And my reaction was that we need to set a boundary on how far things can go. I said that I d be ok with them cuddle, make out, but 2nd base and beyond is a bit too far considering she had already identified as functionally asexual. Then, she confessed to me that she would be interested in having sex with B, maybe its a novelty thing, she's not sure. We had a long discussion about it, couldnt find an answer, I dont know if I can allow her to do that, i dont know what that would mean for thr future of our relationship, I m worried that this is openning a pandora'box, if it happens, in the future there would be a previous case to be like:hey, that time happened, so this time should be ok too. I m not sure if I m trully poly(i did not have much luck on Tinder), so never had the chance to try on my end.

I am aware of in a true poly relationship, there probably shouldnt be boundries of how far can things go(sexually), because I have no doubt it is possible to love more than one person fully at same time. I guess I m just feeling imbalanced that to me she's functionally asexual, but now she want to have sex with another person.

Ps: This is my first long term relationship ever, never had much luck with girls before, my wife is the only person I ve had any sexual interactions with so far.

Sorry for the longlong post, for whoever read it all, thank you for your patience. Please share your insights, inputs, criticizes. I need help.

Submitted August 01, 2020 at 10:29PM by ThrowRA_Dumbonia via reddit https://ift.tt/2PdTINp