#its making me lose it fr
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you'll never guess who has more stickers to share! :D it's me! WE GOT OVER THE GARDEN WALL, GRAVITY FALLS, AND DAVID TENNANT THE LEGEND HIMSELF! GO CHECK THEM OUT!! (especially the DT ones! i'm raising money for charity!!)
#szfworks#GUH#im so eepy#david tennant#gravity falls#gravity falls art#david tennant art#uh#stan pines#ford pines#stanley pines#stanford pines#otgw#otgw wirt#otgw greg#guys im gonna PISS MYSEFL DID YOU SEE#THE RE RELEASE OF THE CASETTE#GRAAAAAA#over the garden wall#over the garden wall art#otgw art#etsy shop#etsy seller#im working on this big piece#for the 10 year anniversary#its making me lose it fr#so much rendering.........#like girl why did i decide to do that omg#anyways#2d art
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me speeding to count stock as fast as possible to avoid taking radiation damage from my parents god-awful taste in television
are these Really the ugliest homes in america or is your personality just equivalent to a cheap, wet paper towel. are these Really the ugliest homes in america or do you take your home decor inspiration from psychiatric hospitals and white women on pinterest named Meykaighlahe
just say you hate art and go build your dream unseasoned microwave mashed potato of a house in fucking utah or something oh my gOD
#ms paint#dat me#art#life is paint#IF YOU DONT LIKE IT WHY THE FUCK DID YOU MOVE THERE !!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCREAMS#these shows make me homicidal fr#70% of the houses on that stupid fucking show are by majority legitimately so cool and beautiful dude i am losing my mind#''its a historic house but i dont want any of the history or aesthetic that goes with it'' i am going to dropkick you lady. to death.#getting my own place and literally banning the viewing of any HGTV show under my fucking roof#how are there so many old people with such GARBAGE fucking taste in interior design#y'all grew up in the 60s 70s and 80s and learned fucking Nothing ?????????? HELLO ???????????????
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Same Old Venom- up for preorder!
#flight rising#fr skins and accents#ahh have i ever said how much i love making accents before its so much fun#if u ignore me losing my mind last night cause i could not figure out the fabric patterns. so frustrating. this thing FOUGHT me#so im super happy now :D!!!
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i wasn't expecting that last WIP to get so much attention aaaa
have a slightly more updated version (still not done!) bc i was gonna trash this piece bc im punching way above my current skill level and its TOUGH but all of the nice comments on the last one motivated me to pick it up again and keep swinging at it ^^/
#damn art got HANDS though... if i did not have a big fat crush on rolan and if ppl were not so kind i would slam dunked it in the garbage lo#bg3 rolan#baldurs gate 3#bg3#my art#WIP#i can do it i just think its gonna make me SWEAT#shoutout to everyone on discord hearing me lose my mind about it every time i get a lil further with it#keeping me sane fr tbh#a shame i missed the contest but its a nice excuse to knuckle down and work slowly on this so i can get some gains ya know?
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i know i talk a LOT about glenn and nick respectively and together on here but goddamnit i just relistened to the episode where they glenn meets nicholas after prison and i cant get how tragic it is out of my head. spending almost twenty years in prison to protect your son from harm, from having to most likely face being orphaned. spending all that time trying to escape with only him in your mind because he is all you have left after your wife died years ago and when you finally meet him again he looks at you with disgust and the son you once loved so much is effectively dead and buried. hes got a new dad who you KNOW, factually and objectively because it was ordered by a court, did a better job raising him than you did with your son. you did try but eventually you ended up repeating the patterns your own parents left in your life and thats not good enough. your son ends up in an objectively better position without you, without needing you anymore despite everything you did for him, and you can do nothing but accept all of that
"glenns not stupid, he knows morgans death affected nick. he doesnt want him to have to go through it again" and (ron): "your son.. sucks now" (glenn, grabbing him from the collar): "you say that shit to me one more time." and "this is the first time ive seen- [the sunlight]"
#can you tell who my favourite dad is. can you#UGH ITS JUST LIKE. ITS SO FICKIGN GOOD#it makes me scream genuinely im so giddy about it in aGSHVSHEBSKFKDJDK#wont tolerate no glenn hatred here btw genuinely i love that man with my entire heart!#he was the worst dad but like LMAODJSKD#no but fr#IMAGINE. losing your wife in a car crash#and struggling to raise your son alone now#for years#thinking (hoping) that youre doing a good job#only to find out you were not only a bad parent and someone else ended up raising your boy better#AND for that guy to also not have lost his (your?) wife#youd be thinking what did you do so wrong#youd be thinking maybe her death too wouldve been avoidable#and then you just have to. live with that.#MAN#dndads#dungeons and daddies#glenn close#nick close#nicky freeman#nick foster#jodie foster#henry oak#darryl wilson#ron stampler#dungeons and daddies spoilers#dndads odyssey
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life went forward and the world moved on but I never got over among us (2018)
#but no one:(( will play it:(( with me:((#i miss amogus with my ex best friend and all her friends#she was just like me fr she loved introducing all her friends to each other its another reason i loved her so much#and why i struggled so much when my high school best friend started making friends outside of me who didnt like me#one of them even gave me this long ass lecture on KAVYA YOU DONT NEED TO BE FRIENDS WITH ALL YOUR FRIENDS' FRIENDS YOU KNOW#oh and you cAnt jUst Ask pEoPle tO bE yOuR fRiEnd (jokes on her we're friends now. kind of ive been ghosting her for a while but not the po#Int 💀)#and look i learned that. sort of. but i still struggle with it sometimes#like at least with my best friends i always wanted to know about and be involved with everyone in their lives you know#which ive realized now is not practical#but im still this hopeless romantic who wants to be friends with all my friends friends and all my friends to be friends#even if i barely have the energy for it anymore. i guess losing her drilled that in#also another thing i realized is. its good to keep your friends separate sometimes because if the chain breaks you dont lose a whole system#which wasnt even a point of consideration for me back then because like i said. hopeless romantic. why would we ever fall out#but yeah it was hard having to accept that sometimes the whole world doesnt want to be friends. and people are allowed to dislike each othe#shocking i know#anyway what am i even talking about how did i get here#liveblogging.pdf
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Crab party you will always be famous
#highlights include: Fabian wrapping Riz in his sheet and saying ‘I believe in you spring break’ to give him bardic#the crab king as a concept (also riz being crowned crab king)#‘what noise does a crab make?’ ‘it goes ‘I’m a little crab’’#Lou and ally just absolutely losing their shit over Fig and Ayda (me too fr)#‘shrimp are so little they just get caught in nets and stuff’#‘kiss the shrimp’ ‘IM NOT GONNA KISS THE SHRIMP KRISTEN ITS DEAD AND WE KILLED IT#Lou just yelling ‘YESSIR I BLESS THIS UNION’#crachos#💃🕺‘I’m a little shrimp!’💃🕺#‘GORGUGS DOING A CRAB STAND’ ‘CRAB STAND CRAB STAND CRAB STAND CRAB STAND’ ‘see that’s all just masking pain’#I love the emotional moments interrupted by just ‘LOOK THE BALLS A SHRIMP!’#they would love the crab rave meme#fantasy high hours#fantasy high#crab party#dimension 20#dimension 20 fantasy high
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smt smt that yatora arc where he struggles to find purpose or meaning in his work & ends the summer having "only" painted a crab . he was on2 smth
#game where u guess whether i actually hate this guy fr or if i love this guy or if its a secret third option(both)#'i like you but i also hate you so much that it makes me sick'#he was ahead of his time w that 1. say less#dnt get me started on the jealousy dynamics.DONTT im feel ike im losing it over here#i need 2 find my awfully unimpressive crab 2 admire#blue period#yatora
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One of my big compulsions is taking a fuck ton of screenshots Just In Case a piece of information is important in like 4 years and I can't remember it (sometimes the information is an instagram post that I might not remember later and of course needs to be recorded everywhere (I will Not be looking at that again)) so today is my transfer 16000 images off my phone admin day (woo)
Like yeah I never looked at any of them and they were completely irrelevant to my daily life, But what if I need them ✨️ later ✨️ (you'll see that the idea of Later is doing a lot of heavy lifting here) OR what if there's a vital piece of information in the mix somewhere that I'll lose forever if I delete them? So: onto the external hard drive they go
This is one of those cases where. Yeah. Ideally I wouldn't take 16000 screenshots in half a year. And YEAH ideally I'd just delete them and not transfer them somewhere else to never look at again. BUT at least I get a clean slate and I can maybe not mindlessly save everything for 2 seconds. It's like. Small wins? Progress. Yknow.
#rangnar rambles#i also use my tumblr drafts this way which is how i have probably 2000 drafts for this blog that are just? like me saving a post for 'later#and then theres too many in my drafts for me to even find *MY* drafts#i need to just hard reset the draft function bc its literally unusable for me#'matt this is all irrational and weird' by god. my irrational thoughts disorder makes me do weird shit? are you fr rn??? 😨😨#i get so stupidly in my own head and then i dont make progress towards Anything#even like a fun sideblog where i can actually yknow. post that 2k nightmare? i just cringe myself out like a dumbass 😔#i feel like ocd thoughts always sound lame out loud (and in my head to myself too)#like the Urgency doesnt come across#like in the moment i am Completely convinced that my national insurance number and bank deets are in there somewhere#and theres suddenly no way on earth i could ever find them again if i delete the picture. so to the hard drive they go#i Would go through that whole thing if i suddenly needed a screenshot from 2019 btw. like the crazy isnt theoretical#ive hallucinated gas leak smells before and woken up my flatmates bc i couldnt convince myself i was over reacting#its just cus the seasons have changed that everythings ramping up but omg its hard to do anything but spiral nowadays#thats a little dramatic but i am losing like. a quarter of the day to my ocd#its like. not great 😬#im not back to convincing myself i gave my dad cancer but i am not letting myself use half the kitchen again#but eh soo la voo we ball#HAH i checked my drafts after this and i was lowballing so hard#5.7k on this blog. 12k on my main 💀. its not funny but it kind of is#this is why youll never catch me running a queue#this is such a miserable post but i do feel the need to not let it sit in the drafts pile. to prove the point i guess 💀💀💀#'no one gives a shit this is your blog' 'oh my GOD WHAT IF PEOPLE GIVE A SHIT' <- omg shut upppp youre so embarassing 🙄#one more time for the gallery: i am like. aware that these feelings are irrational. like i am fine it just takes time for reality to kick in#ANYWAYS what was that who said that that was so weird im gonna go look at old romantic era paintings now#if tam is a screenshot fiend in the next fic u know what happened
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how it feels to be the last one to load into a cheerful show:
#close game offline cheerful carnival making me lose my mind fr#i think its fine now?? but omg the first day was so bad#anyways this isnt me i load pretty quickly#but whenever i see someone taking ages to load in..#i feel like this on their behalf..#pjsk#project sekai#colourful stage
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seeing those old brick buildings in the inner city/eastern suburbs makes me bare ache w nostalgia its so fucking stupid. pining for a past life as a white cunt in sydney circa. 1975? are you insane?
#seeing all the redevelopment projects around those areas does make me sick fr like#from an infrastructure pov its beyond fucked but moreso the city is just losing all its character#theyre killing this place its so depressing#extra stupid that im soooo disgustingly wretchedly pining after a kind of 90s era/pre-constant-tech era#given that sure NOW the person that i am would have a pretty good time#but growing up without internet access i really would have killed myself if i didnt have my mutuals and buddies 😭#sad to say but this stupid website really saved my life time and again#anyway idk i love you shitty brick buildings i love you ghost of lives i can almost taste#feel like that fucking emily dickinson poem except im standing outside a beachside tiny apartment block
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been using this to fight most of my anxiety recently. "oh my god the room is spinning my heart is pounding I can't breath" your honor after reviewing the evidence, who gives a fuck lowkey. pop those shock mints and your dick and get on with your day soldier
#i make yet anothet post just for me 👍#if it makes me anxious i shouldnt have to do it ever actually im the worlds specialest little boy and i should be treated as such#im going insane in this school i am losing my mind#my mom gave me these strong ass sour ass mints to suck on whenever i start feeling like a meltdown or a panic attack#and ima be fr they worked for like a day i need something stronger#going insane over here. im constantly scared and shaking and i wish to be normal again (<- has never been normal a day in his life LMAO)#these classes and teachers and kids suck and i dont know why i cant handle them this year its just gotten so much worse outta NOWHERE#anyway worlds smallest vent (as in a little vent on the floor to make a joke out of) my bad 😔😔
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snaps wide awake out of completely nowhere thinking “are my ocs too weird”
#USUALLY NOT A PROBLEM i think its just late and i am feeling the effects#but i went on like. a trip into my art files (never a good idea) and i got self conscious for no reason#literally its so silly i was like. fuck are my CD characters too nonhuman looking. i keep thinking theyre v humanoid but then i draw them#and taking into account the biology and stuff its like. wow they are just fucking beasts. down to habits and posture and customs#and now im like. fuck did i make them TOO like that#and that for some reason led me to look at art of talas and be like. god did i make him too weird. is his mask weird.#YOU KNOW.... TALAS. WHO IS MY SECOND FAVE. AND THE MASK THAT HAS BEEN THERE SINCE THE BEGINNING#i may be losing my fucking mind#it could also be that my brain is going ALART !!! you need to tweak the reference again!!!!! the art is not at prime capacity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#god am i making sense#im so fucking normal fr. i just need CD to be the best ever and get a good grade in it which is both normal to want and possible to achieve#thunderclap#oughghg sorry for the completely insane post i just needed to scream at a cloud for one second thank u for ur time
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Jacob Geller wasnt kidding, that time loop can nihilism
#deathloop#guess whos got deathloop brainrot 2 years later#the ethics of this game drive me insane#if ur the only person trapped in a time loop who knows are you obligated to save it or destroy it?#are you really better than the rest of the visionaries when you kill them all over and over and over?#i have never had a game take me from 'Oh No NPC dont come over here i dont want to kill you!'#to 'how can i kill these guys as efficiently as possible so i can explore easier' this fast#it even has me considering leaving stealth almost entirely which is wild i love stealth :(#but stealth is only really fun the first time through an area or when its avoiding consequences sucessfully#but like fr the more i think about juliannas perspective the more its so crunchy! Like shes basically protecting a bunch of people#living the same day over and over forever#and thats not even getting into the sheer crunchiness of colt and franks relationship like! god i have so many thoughts#anyway shutting up now#gaming#jacob geller#still not done so no spoilers pls#anyway guess who just found out juliana is *spoilers redacted* and im losing my fucking mind a second time#this time loop ruined peoples lives not just once but twice#did colt make all this just to try to recreate the *spoilers* time he lost trapped in a loop?????#im going insane#i speak
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frustrated as all fuck but cant do shit about it because mom is grieving and i dont wanna add to it by being a bitch
#fine ill eat that fucking sandwich you made when i specifically told you i dont want to eat now.#ill spend the rest of the day hating myself for it but whatever makes you happy queen :))))))))))))))))))))#fine ill let you drive me home instead of taking the train and getting a few hours of peace and time for myself.#ill lose my fucking mind but whatever makes you happy queen#fine ill call off the meeting with my dad and his gf on saturday morning like i planned. since you're staying over. its fine.#no fr tho. everything is fine. but eating that fucking sandwich after another of my ed related mental breakdowns is gonna kill me#i can feel my throat closing im gonna throw up fr#also i told her i need to be home BEFORE 1 pm. i had a train at 9. i would have been home by now.#and now it's 11 am and we havent even left yet. but i cant be mad about that either. cant be mad about anything ever.#therapy on wednesday therapy on wednesday therapy on wednesday save me save me save me save me save me
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Grief is such a funny weird thing. Because I was and am completely fine and then out of nowhere, I folded an empty carton of milk the same way as my grandpa did, which I have never done before. He always did it in such a funny way and I never understood it. And I wanted to cry at work because it made me realize that he’s still around and alive in tiny moments like this that I/we picked up from him without even realizing.
#i fr never have done that before#no one in the family folds it to recycle it that way#we usually just squish it so its flat#but he always folded it into almost like a tiny accordion#anyway i swear im fine but apparently milk is the thing that made me lose my marbles dhekkww#anyway ill make sure to keep you alive as long as i can through memories grandpa
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