#but yeah it was hard having to accept that sometimes the whole world doesnt want to be friends. and people are allowed to dislike each othe
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life went forward and the world moved on but I never got over among us (2018)
#but no one:(( will play it:(( with me:((#i miss amogus with my ex best friend and all her friends#she was just like me fr she loved introducing all her friends to each other its another reason i loved her so much#and why i struggled so much when my high school best friend started making friends outside of me who didnt like me#one of them even gave me this long ass lecture on KAVYA YOU DONT NEED TO BE FRIENDS WITH ALL YOUR FRIENDS' FRIENDS YOU KNOW#oh and you cAnt jUst Ask pEoPle tO bE yOuR fRiEnd (jokes on her we're friends now. kind of ive been ghosting her for a while but not the po#Int 💀)#and look i learned that. sort of. but i still struggle with it sometimes#like at least with my best friends i always wanted to know about and be involved with everyone in their lives you know#which ive realized now is not practical#but im still this hopeless romantic who wants to be friends with all my friends friends and all my friends to be friends#even if i barely have the energy for it anymore. i guess losing her drilled that in#also another thing i realized is. its good to keep your friends separate sometimes because if the chain breaks you dont lose a whole system#which wasnt even a point of consideration for me back then because like i said. hopeless romantic. why would we ever fall out#but yeah it was hard having to accept that sometimes the whole world doesnt want to be friends. and people are allowed to dislike each othe#shocking i know#anyway what am i even talking about how did i get here#liveblogging.pdf
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Ykno the suckiest thing about being broken up with for someone else is that like. Well I'm doing generally fine, all things considered, but I Am kinda sad thinking about the things I've lost and all the casual affection that I can't have now.
But she's out there having all the affection she wants from her coworker, and it's just like. Damn this feels so skewed and SO unfair.
#speculation nation#and then U add in the fact that the girl she broke up with me for is already dating someone else (poly sort of situation)#and im just like. WHYYYYY did she break up with me instead of trying to negotiate poly???#she was gonna at first but when i expressed concern about poly given her obvious communication problems about it#then she dropped me like a hot coal. like sorry i wasnt about to let myself be stood up and ignored for basically a whole day#just to accept u trying to negotiate poly. like What?????#anyways i may have a bit of a history with being a bit of an asshole and breaking up with them#but at LEAST ive never broken up with anyone to immediately start dating someone else#and at LEAST ive broken up with them in person and not over text!!! the fuck?????#i keep alternating between 'surprisingly okay with it all' and 'maybe a little sad' and 'absolutely fucking LIVID'#and i keep wanting to yell at her more but i already said quite a lot of things. so id just be repeating myself#and at that point id just be a vitriolic piece of shit. which i try not to be.#so im letting her live in peace while i continue to be So Pissed about it and it just sucks man lmfao#why do i gotta be the bigger person fr. i even apologized for the hurtful things i was saying in anger. literally in that same conversation.#and she gets to pull this stunt and walk free and spend so much time with her new 'love' ignoring the world etc etc#honestly i hope it fails miserably for her. bc sure theres a chance it works out but every single part of this is impulsive and So Stupid.#and even tho my ex agreed with me when i told her it was INSANE. she was just like 'i have to' like OKAY????#jesus fucking christmas she's revealed a side to me that i really hadnt seen before.#so i hope it fails and i hope she tells me about it. i hope she owns up to her mistakes. for my own satisfaction.#but i have 0 intention on ever taking her back. because what the fuck????#i may be a flawed individual with plenty of problems. but i still have basic fucking dignity. and i am NOT accepting this back in my life.#and god damn her friend is moving into the unit across from mine for this coming year#and i may have to see my ex sometimes bc of it 😭😭😭#the friend seemed generally level headed tho. idk if i happen across him & he doesnt avoid me maybe i'll ask him what he thinks of this#bc she was treating me with such love and affection showing me off to all her friends. and then she drops me like a fucking coal.#i wouldnt say i made friends with them myself but we were at least friendly. so i doubt theyd have a good opinion of her for this.#so would the friend loyalty take precedence? or would he be willing to chat with me and confirm Yeah what the fuck?#bc if i had a friend who did this same exact thing id be side-eyeing them SO hard.#id support them bc theyre my friend but i would also be like 'hey uh Why did you do that. that was pretty awful of u you know that right'#& itd also make me more cautious of them too. for being Able to drop someone so suddenly lol.
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6 CURSE WHEN JEALOUS YONGIEEE (I’m loving this series)
LETS GOOOO
6URSE When Jealous
(based on made up birth chart for them)
Nanami
Jealousy doesnt sit well with nanami
firstly because he would give you the look the moment he sees you talking with someone else and being too touchy
he would smile fakery to you and the other person
Nanami tries to make you understand that he isnt happy with what's unfolding underneath his eyes
He would try to say things to make you reliase
he talks a little louder
tries to get your attention
Jealous nanami is secretly in a competition with the order person to get your attention back to him
he tries not to show it
but eventually he will voice it to you
and he hope you underatdn and correct your behavior
Toji
the way he is so petty about it
Toji would rather die than to admit he is jealous of another guy being too touchy with you
usually he doesnt get jealous easily
because Toji is overconfident with who he is
and the love his partner has for him
but sometimes he can help it
but yeah he is petty
he would keep his mouth shut
(which isnt a good sign)
he gets upset by what he sees but wont confront you about it
instead he gets just so childish by giving you the cold shower
Toji will also say some very hurtful and judgmental things
either about you and the other guy
but that I just him being insecure
Sukuna
are you sure you want to make him jealous?
honeslty sukuna doesnt get jealous as easily as one might think
he trust this partner
and most importantly he has way too much self confidence to get jealous
however his blood would boil if the other person is being too touchy with you
Sukuna would be looking at them up and down
his piercing eyes on the person, making them feel uncomfortable
expect him to be judgmental as hell
he would make "tsk" every time the other person speaks
he rolls his eyes and breaths loudly before leaning his tall body over you
trying to make his point without looking like in need
Sukuna would also deliberately ignore the other person if they try to tall to sukuna or if they point something out
that person just doesnt exist
and for their sake they better not try to mess with his patience
Geto
dont do that to him
Geto îs super insecure
and there's a few things that he has a hard time accepting
jealiusy is something easy to be felt by him
Geto would rethink the whole relationship
he doubts your feelings
he doubts the while seconds he has been with you
because in his mind if someone is flirting wit you and you are giving that person some feedback you are playing their game
and he wont be able to accept it
Geto would have a very emotional answer
arguments, even teary eyes might be something that happens
however if the other person is forcing themselves on you
they better run
because Geto will chase them to the end of the world
jealousy, again doesnt sit with him
he answers it with emotional damage and actions
Gojo
Gojo is dangerous when he is jealous
because his jealous isnt unbalanced
sometiems he will get jealous on the most ridiculous things
and other times he doesnt give a damn about what is happening underneath his nose
it all depends on his mood
and the person that is being touchy with you
if it someoen who is stepping out of the boundaries, he will just tell them off
he would try to be nice about it and use his voice
but if th person ignor she he might snap
on the other side if you are making it purpose..
or well..
you either apologize while he asks you nicely
or if you dont he will make it worst
he would literally go and flirt with other people and make sure you see it
see..it.. all
and then back home?
he will teach you a thing or two
Choso
He is pretty much like Gojo when it comes to jealousy
being that he is jealous
but he also tries to balance ehis metoions
he wonders if its worth it depending on the situation, the environment and the person
depending on those variables the way he express his jealousy would be differently
Choso would talk to you directly about it
tell you he doesnt appreciate the way you are chuckling with this other guy
or how he hates the wya they are touching your shoulder
and then with that you have two options
if you understand his point and apologize, he will be cool with it
and would proceed in staying by your side, kissing you and having his hands on you
to mark his territory
but if you decide to brush it off and tell him he is overreacting..
well he will be overaacting
by flirting with someoen right in front of you
just to make you see what he is feeling
definitely pouts during the whole argument
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YESS loak who lives in his brothers shadows falling for the girl that was BETHROTHED to his brother (who has a nasty attitude and isnt well liked within her inner circles but her people loves her bc shes nice to them only in her own ways lol) is a level of angst that is so hot
like loaks reaction when neteyam confided in him telling him hes gonna run away with his maid/childhood friend and loak is like ???? youre going to run away from your duties? and neteyam is just like yeah i love my beloved more than aristocracy lifestyle
few months have passed since then and now jake is stressed out from all of this - his oldest son is missing and no one knows where he or his maid is (except loak who he sends letters too from time to time)
and like u said he NEVER thought he would be the next king he had his whole life plan out, train the knights for his brothers army, date some girl who isnt ultra famous and wealthy but in the middle and settle down and pop out a few kids and now his whole world is turned around because he now has to fill in his brothers (complicated) shoes and hes realizing how intense this was all for neteyam and hes has to learn it pronto
but omg poor princess??? the man she was supposed to marry since she was practically born, has been told from a young age she was going to be prettiest wife to neteyam and then he goes into hiding for some maid ??? that would break her ego so bad, and now she has to marry the brother who all he does is play knight oh its so bad for her
but as they hang out they slowly (so slow neteyam would have his first baby by then lmfao) they slowly begin to become friendish - princess finds it hard because her attitude is the worse and she cant accept the fact that she likes someone who all he wanted to be was a trainor for the knights
and loak is trying to ignore that she was originally supposed to marry neteyam, he knows neteyam never liked her but it still fucks with him sometimes but he gets over it eventually
AND OMLLL princess!reader who goes to visit loak on the training grounds and shes definitely does not fit in bc shes hoping her custom made dress doesnt have mud on it as she tiptoes bc god its gross here and she asks the knights where loak and they guide her to where she is
cue her knocking on the door and opening it to see loaks back and oh my god his back is so hot its so broad and waist is so tiny and hes sweating n loak just turns around like what?? meanwhile her face is super red bc she didnt know he was that built underneath that hes leaner than the knights he trains who are meatheads but he was still so defined and the mixed metal necklaces he wore just compliments him so well and now shes needs to find her maid and ask her what are these feelings
— 🤍
Catch up on the story:
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five
Extra: One | Two
CW:// Slight Mention of Pregnancy
Right?! She has such a "don't fuck with me, I'm not the one," attitude. She needs to be serious all the time, needs to always have her head on straight and can't make stupid mistakes because if she does, she loses all credibility. Sure, she's kind and looks out for her people, helping them and protecting them however she can, and her people see that and appreciate that - but she doesn't want to act like the emotionless bitch that she has to be. She wants to be happy, free to genuinely smile and feel what she feels, but she knows that if she shows even the hint of too much emotion, too much weakness, she's just going to be ripped apart.
And Lo'ak can understand that. He knows what it's like to not be able to be who you want to be. His whole life he's been compared to his perfect brother: Neteyam who is better at facilitating communication between neighboring kingdoms, Neteyam who speaks clearly and takes responsibility humbly when needed, Neteyam who's never had to be told not to slouch during court. He's been cast aside as the 'spare', but not invisible enough to not need to be on his game.
He can't joke around like he wants to, at least not without Jake and Neytiri hissing at him to behave. He can't go exploring, can't go out and see what far away lands have to offer because "your duties are here, son". So he found something that he enjoys, a way to get out all his pent up energy and aggression, and he's good at it. So good. He has a true gift for training the knights, getting them ready to battle and protect the kingdom, but even that's sometimes overshadowed by his brother - having to train Neteyam to fight, train Neteyam to be the best, even better than himself - to be worthy of the crown he would get one day.
Would have gotten. Because Neteyam is gone now. And somehow the responsibility, and all the duties that come with it, have fallen on Lo'ak's shoulders and now more than ever he feels he can't be himself.
He would understand how Princess feels . . . if he could get over his own bitterness.
Jake is freaking out - he's sent out a search party on multiple occasions looking for Neteyam and his runaway maid, but they can't find them. Neteyam is smart, building their cottage outside of the kingdom's boundaries, and the only person who knows the location of it is Lo'ak. Lo'ak is bitter, of course, and angry with his brother for what he's done to him. But he would never give up their location. He wants his brother to be happy, so he keeps the information to himself.
He appreciates the letters he gets from Neteyam though. They make him smile, to see that his brother is finally living the life he's always wanted: something calm and peaceful with the woman he loves. He's super giddy when he gets the letter that Neteyam and his wife are expecting their first child. He's going to be an uncle! And the news makes him so happy that he just can't help but smile all day, sneaking off to tell Kiri and Tuk the good news too, and Princess is just looking at him like he's crazy - "Why is he so smiley all of a sudden? What could he possibly be happy about?"
Their relationship is rocky at the start . . . and in the middle. At first, when she was still Neteyam's betrothed, Lo'ak thought she was a spoiled brat. And now that they're supposed to be together, they can't stand each other even more. But the more time they spend together, the more they can't help how their eyes start to trace the other's movements. Their ears seem to always latch on to the sound of the other's voice. Random thoughts popping into their heads about the other (how nice they look in their formal attire, how their eyes glimmer in the glow under the chandeliers) before they have to physically shake those thoughts out, annoyed that they were even there to begin with.
Lo'ak actually growls to himself when the thought of Princess, round and beautiful with their own future child, her fancy custom-made gown falling perfectly over the bump, pops into his head after he finds out Neteyam's expecting.
He's shaking a similar thought out of his head as he's undressing after a rather intense training session. The new knights he's training are annoying, young men who think they're so great and are flooded with undeserved confidence and it just makes Lo'ak want to rip his hair out. But he heard a couple of them whispering about how beautiful Princess is, and how they'd give anything for a night with her and Lo'ak can't seem to justify the dark feeling swirling around in his chest when he hears it.
He thinks it's one of them who slams the door open, come to annoy him even more with stupid questions or overconfident remarks, but instead it's her. The woman he can't seem to get out of his head. She's panting, face flushed with exertion from trying to walk through the mud coated ground. The bottom of her dress is covered with dark brown, once shiny heels now sticky and sinking into the ground. She always looks so put together and clean, so the ruined look throws him off a bit and he can't help but think that she looks beautiful like this too - all flushed and hair out of place from where she tossed it over her shoulder carelessly in her frustration just to get it out of her face. She's scowling, mouth opened ready to give him a few choice words no doubt, but her words die in her mouth when she sees him: topless, corded muscles and strong back on display, all glistening and sweaty and fuck - now she feels like she's starting to sweat.
She's never seen a male like this before. Never seen so much skin. And he turns around when she enters, surprised and the question "what are you doing here?" falling from his lips, but she doesn't answer. Can do nothing more than gape at him like a fish because now his broad chest is on display too, tapering down into a narrow waist. All he's got on is a pair of tight black pants and boots, and her eyes can't help but linger on the slight bulge she can see from where they hug him between his legs.
She feels hot all over, a tight ball forming in her stomach the longer she looks at him and it's only when she feels a strange wetness pooling between her own thighs that she snaps out of her trance. She turns and leaves without a word, running to her bedroom and immediately calling for her maid. If she ever had a best friend, it would be her maid - the person who has been there as her helper ever since she was a little girl. Her helper, her protector, her guide.
Her maid's eyes widen as they take in the look of her Princess's state - dress ruined and covered in mud, face hot and red with embarrassment and something else she can't quite place.
"I don't know what I'm doing!" the Princess cries. And her maid is there for her, to clean her up and wrap her in soft blankets, ready to hear what her Princess has to tell and give her the best advice she can.
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In my experience, that breed of nut will "be your friend" for the express purpose of converting you. They will take every opportunity to "remind" you that you're doing it wrong. Best case scenario, they're the type to respond to everything with "it is/is not god's fault, so let's pray." Worst case scenario, they inundate you with religious trinkets so they can pressure you into wearing/displaying them, trick you into going to their church, etc. (My favorite was, "let's go to my niece's santa play, it's kind of a party, there's free cookies after," and it ends up being the worst militant anti-everything-but-baby-Jesus bs with literal kids singing about Santa being Satan in disguise, and the cookies were shit and to even get one, I had to pretend to pray.)
They do not care about ppl of another/no faith beyond seeing them as potential points to add to their afterlife competition. Christians are literally the most solid argument against Christianity.
one of my father’s hindu colleagues was surprised that my family didn’t make everyone say a christian prayer before we sat down to eat dinner. we were like “….this is your house.” and she laughed and said that her christian friends “make” her pray all the time. like what the fuck. how fucking rude can you be to make the host pray to your god. you are in their fucking house.
#and honestly i dont get how anyone could see all of that happening and still want to be one#if my book club meetings ended up being essentially kkk rallies or something id quit the club#instead of making excuses or trying to pretend its not happening or getting defensive about how it used to/is supposed to be#bruh the club is nasty period and honestly the book is nasty and if im not into either then why go to meetings#self care is a thing and there are literally thousands of book clubs and i dont actually need any of them its a choice#every good person i know who associates with the club would be kicked out in a heartbeat if the rest of the club knew#who they actually are and what they do and its so awkward for me bc i genuinely lub them and they are not the club#but wtf being an auxiliary branch of the kkk who 'doesnt do that stuff' is still being in the kkk its hard for me to reconcile#and i know i get bitchy about this club but its objectively harmful as a whole and makes the world worse way more than it makes it better#and yeah im biased bc it helped ruin parts of me that shouldve been protected and nurtured and that shit dont grow back#there will always be a dead space it will never be ok it will always hurt it will always affect my ability to trust and care for myself#and sleep at night and struggle back from the edge when im suicidal and view art and music and architecture and history#and there has never been and will never be accountability or justice and if they could do it again they would in fact they try regularly#so while i accept everyones autonomy and must respect their choices that doesnt mean im comfortable with them or think theyre a good idea#its just i have to trust that my book club friends arent just using me for points or waiting for the right time to hurt me#which is actually not unlike my republican brother who doesnt hate women but hes republican so when it comes down to it#is he actually gonna vote to ruin my life or not can i trust that our convos arent just recon does he use me as a weapon against other women#there are so many worries i know theyre my feelings to manage but the point still stands#as long as the club and its members would rather i just shut up or not be me or conform or buy into the agenda or literally die#i have the right to feel ways about that and even if it changed overnight i would still have that right bc history#and every asshole who gaslights and terrorizes and oppresses and harms as part of the clubs agenda gets no pass for 'good intentions'#it goes way beyond some social faux pa#anyway sorry about the notes vent i just shit is hard and im raw and sometimes i gotta say stuff or ill die#anti religion
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PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE (If you want to of course!! Shejs) TALK ABOUT CHRIS HAVING THAT SMALL ONE SOFT SPOT FOR ETHAN AND ETHAN ONLY 😭😭 Like everyone else he's cordial with sometime nice for appearances but ethan? He's soooooo sweet to himleon and Claire come visit and it's like a whole different person
so yeah, Chris having a soft spot for Ethan is canon idc.
like him calling Ethan a trophy in those sketches during developpement ?? him calling Ethan to tell him that Zoe is ok ? capcom wanted that from the start. him being probably the one behind Ethan's personnal training ??
in re8, Ethan could have been under Miranda control but he probably went in front of the whole team like im going to take the risk and i dont want to hear a word about it from all of you. His "i'm surprised that you have made this far" sound more like "you are a stubborn man i swear to god". his angry "Because i knew you would want to be involved ! And this job is hard enough without civilans someone i appreciate getting in the way" ?? His smile when Ethan shows his stubborn side like his face screams "i freaking love u but i know i cant stop u so please stay in shadows as long as u can, stay safe, wait for me". Him being worried in a second over the phone ??? Him leaving everything the moment he hears Miranda voice ??? Him going in a full combat mode for him. The long pause on Ethan picture, his tired sigh, and his "goddamnit when does it ends ?", the symbolism of this alone. Him regretting not telling ethan to the whole team. His small "Ethan... is gone"+"he is dead" like he still doesnt want to accept it. Him putting everyone to safety but not himself bc he has to end Miranda with his own hands for Ethan. Him being frozen when he see Ethan coming up to Miranda bc how a dream can happen in this hell ?? but still being there for him when he sees a opening and he just shoot Miranda when she talk about killing Ethan for good this time. Him running to him, screaming his name. Him allowing himself to be soft "come on ethan. wake up. please dont leave again." Him and his "hey. hey. hey." Him knowing in his soul that ethan is on a borrowed time and he wont admit it : "she is waiting for you/you tell her yourself". ETHAN KNOWING THAT CHRIS WONT LEAVE HIM SO HE PUTS AND KEEPS THE MUTAMYCETE BTW THEM ??? CHRIS AND HIS LITTLE "ETHAN...", HIM KNOWING THE REASON BEHIND THAT ACT. The way Chris tries to stay stoic, like he doesnt even want to look over the window not even after the explosion but he breaks down at Mia's "what have you done ?". He punch as he screams "he is gone ! I tried !" (I wasn't enough to keep him safe). The way his "He stayed so we could all escape" just refleted the way he knew Ethan ???????
Chris was so whipped over Ethan like ?????? Like i won't believe that Leon and Claire didn't know about him ? like who the fuck can make chris smile ??
And for the bonus :
"cHRIs DiDnT Like EtHan" = Chris goes into a full soldier mode, he is ready to burn the whole world to avenge Ethan BUT the only one who break down that mold is Ethan/notion of Ethan
#i could kiss anon for giving me the chance to talk about this#sorry for the delay#chris redfield#ethan winters#winterfield#chris x ethan#re8#resident evil village#anon
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Always Yours
Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader
Summary: Sometimes dating a celebrity is hard...but Tom & Y/N have always said no matter what happens they could get through anything. Some angst but a lot of fluff.
A/N: So sorry for leaving yall hanging! Life is just crazy right now and this blog needs a lot of TLC tbh!! Also ehh I def dont think this was my best work but enjoy?
���Oof” Y/N lets out as she plops on to her boyfriend who was lying comfortable on the couch. Tom groaned at the impact with a cheeky smile on his face, his arms instantly wrapping around Y/N’s frame.
“Y’know..there are empty seats right there.” The soft brown-eyed boy gestured with the flick of his thick head as Y/N raises her eyes looking down at him, pretending to be slightly offended.
“Oh I see how it is then. It’s cool...Ill just cuddle with Tessa instead. I know she would welcome me with open arms instead of—” As she slowly starts getting off his chest, Tom is quick to pull her back in, securing her with his strong arms. “No baby, I was just kidding. I want you right here, and Im never letting you go.” he pleas.
The only thing Y/N could manage was letting out a fit of giggles into his chest, a sound that Tom adored and would do absolutely anything to hear every minute of every day. They stay like this for a while enjoying the feeling of each other as they both run their hands into each others hair, the feeling of their chests moving up and down, the subtle thumps of their heartbeats, and the little slips of adoration that came out of their mouths. It was peaceful. A moment that nobody could really take a way because it was theirs.
Y/N casually pulls up her phone, and scrolls through Twitter when she noticed a particular tweet on her timeline. Her eyebrows furrow, as she read the 160 character message.
Why Tom Holland Should Be With Aaliyah Cole and Dump Y/N: A Thread.
She knew it wasnt a good idea to open up the thread. She knew very well that everything within the shallow string of tweets would be a complete waste of her time because it was made up by fans who just wanted to satisfy their fantasy of shipping Tom with his co-star. Who can blame them? They always had great chemistry, but it was part of the job and thats all it would ever be.
“You’re awfully quiet.” Tom murmurs, as he places soft kisses at the crown of her head. “Whats going on?” She was lucky her phone was facing away from Tom, quickly closing the app and pretending to be on one of her many tabs in Safari.
“Mmm..nothing.” Y/N lies softly, a tight-lipped smiled plastered on her face.
“Absolute bullocks. Youre not a very good liar.” He chuckles. “Tell me darling. Whats on your mind?”
Y/N rolls her eyes in response. She’s heard that comment one too many times in her life from everyone shes known. After not giving it much thought, she gives in, sighing heavily. “Dont judge me for what Im about to say.”
“Mmm...I think it might depend on wha— Ow” Tom reacts as he playfully rubs the side of his chest that Y/N hit. “Okay too soon for jokes. Go on.”
Again, Y/N sighs as she props herself up. “Its just ... well a lot of your fans keeps talking about wanting you to get with Aaliyah.” She looks down trying not to make eye contact with Tom, who she’d imagine was looking at her with annoyance.
Tom rolls his eyes at the ridiculousness. Not so much at Y/N but the fact that some of his fans just didnt want to accept the fact that he was happy with Y/N. If it had to come from his mouth to stop the stupid rumors and give his girlfriend peace, then hed gladly yell it from the rooftops for everyone to hear. “Thats it Im making a statement about it.”
Y/N’s eyes widen in fear, scrambling to prevent him from grabbing his phone on the table next him. “No no no no.” She repeatedly declines. “You’ll only make it worse.”
“Darling, Im not going to stand here and watch you get all insecure because of their delusional ship.”
“Yeah well Im not gonna be the reason your fans hate me because Im getting in the way of your friendship with Aaliyah Cole.” She fires back.
Tom was ready to open his mouth only to be cut off once again. “And you know better. That is how your fans will always see it.”
“Okay, are you done?” He calmly asked, cautiously observing her. Rarely did Y/N ever get worked up about anything, but when she had her tangents, Tom always made sure she got off everything she needed to say before he becomes her voice of reason.
“Yeah, I guess.” she says feeling defeated. “Look its whatever and Im tired, can we just let this go and forget this whole conversation even happened?”
Tom was unconvinced, but didnt want to push her further. So reluctantly, he gave in and wrapped his arms around Y/N as they both tried to lull themselves to sleep.
***
Y/N wasnt sure how she ended up in the Tube. It was strange how the lights flickered off the rusted tile floor. The train was no where to be seen, but off to the side of the railroads was pitch black, she could hardly see beyond. To her right she noticed herself standing in the corner of the room, and to her surprise Aaliyah was there. Her milk chocolate kissed skin, and fashionably long frizzy hair dropped down past her shoulders. Her figure long and poised, as she wore a rain jacket and sweats. An outfit only she could pull off and make it look like she was a model for Vogue. Aasliyah smiles brightly at Y/N.
“Hey Y/N.” She says cheerfully as a genuine friend would.
To Y/N’s surprise she greeted her back in the same tone. “Hey Aaliyah...uhh whats going on?” Y/N wasnt sure if she wanted the answer of how they both ended up in the Tube or if she truly wanted to know how her day went.
“Well Im getting ready to present at the Oscars.” She replies, a smile plastered as if she was so excited about it, almost too excited like she was keeping a secret.
“Really? Oh my god, that’s amazing! Im so proud of you Aaliyah! Who are you taking?”
Aaliyah pauses for a few moment looking back and forth, making sure no one else was around. “Okay can you keep a secret?” She whispered.
Y/N nods her head slowly, not having the slightest clue of what was going on. “Im taking Tom. I think he really likes me, and well...I like him too! Do you think maybe I should ask him when we go?” Aaliyah asked genuinely. It was almost like she had no recollection of Y/N and Tom being a couple. “I think we would look good together. Everyone is already making rumors and ships about us.”
Y/N backs aways lowly only to bump into a broad figure. As she turns around she sees Tom, emotionless and almost sad. “Y/N.” He speaks out. “I dont think this is going to work out. Im leaving you.”
Y/N’s heart quickens, and her breaths become shorter as she tries to find a way to run. Running and running into the darkness, until all she could hear was Tom’s faint voice calling out her name.
***
“Y/N! Y/N! Baby wake up please.” Tom cries as he gently shakes his girlfriend from her disturbed sleep.
Quickly Y/N opens her eyes and clutches on to Toms hoodie firmly. Back home, and in Toms arms. It was a dream was all she thought. A sigh of relief escaping from her mouth.
“Darling...” he speaks softly, worried about his girlfriend. “Are you okay?”
Y/N looks up at him and nods frantically. “Mmm..bad dream.”
“Yeah it seemed like it. You were so frightened...I was scared. What happened?” He’s looking at her, trying to read her saddened eyes, wanting to desperately understand what scared her so he could make it all go away for her.
Y/N looks down at her fiddling hands, as she sits on the couch. “I uhh...” she lets out a chuckle, thinking of the ridiculousness of it all. “I uhh...dreamed about Aaliyah going to the oscars and saying how she loved you and how you two are perfect for each other. When I turned around I saw you but you werent happy and said you were leaving me.”
Tom doesnt say a word, all he could think about was how sorry he felt to put Y/N in this position. Though both of them knew, It wasnt Toms fault, or anyone’s for that matter. Feelings are feelings and that was okay. No human being was ever born perfect and without insecurities.
Y/N always tried to be a good sport with situations like this knowing every shippers theory and evidence were hardly ever true, but at some point there was only so much she could take before it all came out like an oil spill. Maybe it was a sign that she wasnt good enough to be with Tom if half of his fanbase thought this way as well.
Tom cradled her into his arms again, holding her tightly and kissing the top of her head. “Darling, I know youre still doubting yourself about all of this, but please believe me when I tell you that I love you so so much and no matter what happens...Im always yours.” He whispers gently in her ear. “It was only a dream and these ridiculous rumors and theories are just that. No one woman in the world could ever make me feel the way I feel for you.”
Y/N blinks softly, as she stares into space. Afraid and in a weird way ashamed, its funny how something so small and so minimal could affect her self-esteem so greatly. Tom gently brings her head up, so her eyes can meet his. He rolls his thumb on the bottom of her soft lips. “Hey, I love you.” Tom smiles.
Time stopped for the both of them the moment Y/N looked into his eyes, she felt safe. All the bad words and thoughts slowly disappear. Tom was right, none of the things that anyone said about their relationship mattered. She knew Tom loved her, and how much she truly loved him. Isnt that enough? Of course not. It was more than enough. A smile slowly forming on Y/N’s face. “Theres that smile I love so much.” He comments.
“Im sorry, for being such a —”
“No. Its okay. You have a right to feel the way you did.” He picks up her hand and leaves a gentle kiss.
“I love you so much Tom.” She says pressing her lips to his. “I dont deserve you.”
“Darling, its me that doesnt deserve you. Im always yours.” Tom proclaims as he kisses her back.
#tom holland#tom holland imagine#tom holland x reader#peter parker#peter parker imagine#peter parker x reader
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Your recent posts abt trunks’ gt outfit are making me actually want to analyze how he could have conceptualized this fit. Because he’s a trendy young man who is part of the business world & is also the son of the two fiercest fashionistas in the whole city NEITHER of whom would ever wear such a thing…it is truly a feat that he managed to put together the dorkiest possible outfit given all of those factors
AAUGH
HIS OTUFIT USED TO DRIVE ME SO BONKERS THAT I HAD 0 WORDS FOR IT .. LIKE ID THINK OF IT AND IMMEDIATELY HAVE TO COMMIT A PHYSCIAL ACTION (A COMICAL PUNCH TO A WALL OFTEN) OR SMTH BC I COULD NOT HANDLE IT..... Very hard on me becasue I need to articulate what I think and feel but I AM NOT A WORDSMITH and I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT FASHION !!!! I remember so many days just being STUCK but KNOWING that there was something PHENOMENAL there IF ONLY I HAD THE JARGON AND TACTICAL APPLICATION ..
I'm a little over it now but I pretend not to be bc I'm finally actually watching GT so yeah. I'm just a little late is all.
This is an AMAZING ASK ... ! HIS FASHION SENSE IS TRULY NOTHING LIKE HIS FASHIONISTA PARENTS .. ! EVEN the way that both their tastes have changed over the years, GT Trunks is still an original .
WHY ? IDK but it feels so right on him. I CANT IMAGINE THE CHILL AND EPIC TEEN AT THR END OF Z WEARING A NECKERCHIEF THO. But then again 5 years ago I could not imagine myself wearing the beautiful shite that I do now . So
AND LIKE .. IT'S NIT JUST THE SHORTS .. IT'S THE EJCJUSVEXN??? DJDJ.... IT'S THE SWEATER HE WEARS UNDERNEATH THE COAT ..?!?!?
Bc it is PROOF it is PROOF it is PROOF that he KNOWS he looks good ....!!!!!!! Hes not dorky and daft . Hes part of the business world like you said. And hes very conscious of his reputation and role. HE TUCKS THAT SWEATER INTO HIS HUGE SHORTS. HIS LONG-SLEEVE BLACK SWEATSHIRT. And it's amazing!!!!!!! What was he thinking???????
The contrast of ALL those tantalizing layers against HIS BARE KNEES. WHAT WAS HE THINKING??????
His huge white shorts. WHAT WAS HE THINKING?????
Is he advant garde or am I just an ignorant bitch ?!
Is he a fashion genius ?! I don't know what he sees. I don't know what he thinks other people see. I domt know what he likes and what is just incidental. I dont know what he knows and what he doesnt know. BUT I KNOW THIS. I dont fucking have what it takes to wear his outfit . But I understand it. It's close to my heart. And I just cant stand it sometimes .
I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT FASHION but I could talk for a long time about Vegeta's fucked up GT fashion and Fierce Fashion Friday and how Bra inherited his fierce disposition and how her outfits are perfection and all that. And I could talk my damndest about Bulma's changing tastes that all fall under the umbrella of hip and classy and acceptable. And I could talk about Future Trunks and how he is so clearly Bulma's boy. And I could talk about present Trunks in Z and in Super and all of his swaggy fits.
BUT I DONT KNOW HOW TO TALK ABT GT TRUNKS. As soon as he put on that neckerchief he became unknowable . Hes a great mystery. Thank you for the ask SUCH AN IMPORTSNT THING TO SAY....!!!
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Hello! I know this may not be your thing but I decided to give it a shot, if not no biggy!
I was wondering if you would be interested in writing Gojo and/or Sakuna with an asexual lover? (One that doesnt feel sexual attraction but doesnt mind kissing and cuddling etc and loves physical affection but nothing beyond that?) And like, how a relationship with that kind of person would come to be?
Because Sakuna and Gojo both give off *he totally fucks* vibes.
So how they ended up with an asexual lover would be interesting, maybe the MC rejects their advances because fear of being hated for being Ase? Because they know that the other person definitely fucks.
How would their relationship work? How would the guy react/comfort the MC.
(Maybe it ends with a epilogue with no sex(as in penetration and blowjobs to be exact but mc later in a relationship would be willing to do things like handjobs and other hands on/Using toys to pleasure their partner because they cant in that way) but lots of passionate makeout sessions/kissing/sucking and worshiping the mc's body? Especially the collar bone)
If you arent into it that's cool! I totally get it!
This is pretty self indulgent after all ahahaha it's hard being an asexual in fandoms lmao.
hi my love!! okay to start off, i’m really honored you sent in this request to me. idk just the fact that you’re trusting me with it is really sweet hehe. i’m fairly knowledgable about sexuality but i don’t like to write about things i’m not 100% sure about because i don’t wanna risk doing anything wrong or accidentally offending you! but!! thank you for going into detail with the request, and i hope this is what you were looking for, and that i didn’t do any mistakes <3
i wrote headcanons so i can go into detail and write for both!!
some nsfw under the cut, my loves! <3
ryomen sukuna
i’d say, to begin with, it would take a small while for sukuna to even be accepting of his own feelings towards you. nothing having to do with your sexuality, just you in general, specifically that you’re human and so different from him. i don’t think sex ever crosses his mind, at least at the start, because he’s too busy being really angry over the way he can’t seem to control his reactions to every little thing you do. so he himself won’t actively work at starting a relationship with you.
but he will realize, over time, that you’re not doing anything either, even though he’s been noticing that you’re not pushing him or his advances away. like any act of protectiveness that involves him physically touching you intimately, you don’t reject, and you’re always ready to retort at any quip he had. he could tell that these feelings he had for you were mutual, he was just so confused as to why you weren’t doing anything about it.
sukuna’s a thousand year old cursed spirit. he does not know shit about sexuality. i think the way he’d look at it is fuck who you want and fuck who you like. i feel like nicki minaj’s said that before, has she? he doesn’t like thinking too much about it, you know?
his confession would probably be a kiss because words? he doesn’t know them. when he feels you return the kiss he’s, deep down, elated, really, and this is simply because of his naturally sexual personality, he starts hinting at more, until you stop him. he’s really confused because you just kissed him back? you’ve been kissing him for so long why do you want to stop now? he can see the fear steadily growing in your eyes and he’s even more confused now he’s just. humans are so weird.
when you cautiously tell him, “i don’t want to go further than this. is that okay?” you look like you’re waiting for the world to erupt in your face. he just frowns and shrugs like, “yeah but that’s not the point. do you not want me?”
it takes about an hour and a half for sukuna to properly process what you’re saying. at first he’s so thrown off by it, not by you! he just can’t process the fact that someone doesn’t feel any sexual attraction towards someone or doesn’t crave sex at all. it’s not that he’s rude about it, it’s just a really foreign concept to him, you know? when you add that it’s just sex, and you’re okay with a lot of other things, the gears in his brain finally start working again and he just goes.
*shrugs* ok.
literally lmao. like i said earlier, sukuna doesn’t give a shit like whatever do what you want.
because of the rush of emotions he’s feeling towards you, and the fact that this in itself, a relationship, and a relationship with a human too, he doesn’t really focus on the fact that he might want more from you. he’s easily satisfied with a lengthy make out session, and he admits it to you every time he sees you get a little anxious or unsure of yourself.
however, his needs do grow with your relationship. it’s kind of clumsy, your transition into a proper long term relationship, especially with sukuna, but you two make it work.
you agree to try different ways to pleasure him, even if he kinda rushes through them because he’s generally just excited to have your hands on him. at first he’s content with anything you’re offering, but it makes him feel kinda useless when you won’t let him touch you and you have to remind him that your needs are different than his and that you’re sated differently.
i see sukuna as a curious and experimental guy, so he would definitely let you use toys on him. nothing too extreme, because he still needs that sense of control, but you do use some toys like a fleshlight or a vibrator to rile him up. he likes using your hand too, because it’s always so soft against him and it feels a hundred times better than any toy. he learns not to overstep any boundaries though, and not to do anything that might make you uncomfortable even if it takes him a little longer. like i said, the whole idea is just different to him, so it takes him a while to understand, and he’s still learning as he goes!
he loves your make out sessions, especially after you establish your boundaries and your limits and what you’re willing to do for him. he absolutely adores leaving your skin a sky of blue, pink and purple it sends chills down his spine marking you like that. he’s always touching you all over, and just loves to grab and knead at your skin.
in the proper long term, he doesn’t mind it at all tbh. the two of you develop a system, and he’s okay with it. the same way you would never cross his boundaries and force him to do anything he doesn’t want, he’d do for you too! it really never truly mattered, and it truly never will.
gojō satoru
different from sukuna, i think gojō would definitely be knowledgable about things like this. idk he just seems like the kind of guy that’s innately so aware of everything around him, and can read people exceptionally well.
he probably picked up on the fact that you weren’t comfortable with sex, or just didn’t experince sexual attraction, on his own, but never really brought it up because it was never his place. but the same way he picks up on that, he picks up on your obvious crush on him. he pays both details no specific attention until he starts to realize his own feelings for you, and begins on his subtle advances.
he tried to make his advances as sfw as possible, you know? just in case his suspicions were confirmed to be true. he was just extra flirty, sometimes touchy but never in an inappropriate way. very subtilely like always having your shoulders or knees touching or dusting of your jacket or feeding you a piece of his food. cute little things like that.
he gets super worried when he notices you start to distance yourself from him, because he can’t imagine what he might’ve did to push you away. he overthinks a little, worried that he overstepped his boundaries or made you uncomfortable in any way, but he isn’t afraid to approach you about it, to make sure he doesn’t repeat his mistakes, especially with someone like you, who he’s slowly growing more and more infatuated by.
when you admit to him you’re asexual, he realizes he was right, but then he’s like, “and? did i do something?” and now it’s your turn to be confused because here you were worried about rejection but here he was worried about you?
this specific incident is what makes you let loose and finally just freely admit your feelings for him. he’s ecstatic about it, seriously! all that’s on his mind is that he gets to go on a date with someone he really likes. sex is the last thing on his mind, and yeah, you’ll eventually have to talk about it, but not for now. it’s for later, when things get a little more serious.
they do get serious, to both your delights, but the dreaded moment is approaching you. gojō definitely sits you down and says, “we’re only having this talk so i know never to do anything outside of your limits. everything about this relationship is 50/50, and i want to know ways to make you feel good, too.”
please sir your hand in marriage.
i definitely believe gojō’s a kinky guy, and is more than willing to try out literally any sex toy you pull at him. genuinely, he’ll try anything you wanna try. if you ever offer a handjob, he’ll ask a million times over if you’re sure. usually, he likes to just do it himself, but have you there next to him. he won’t touch you, but your hands will be in his hair, and you’ll be kissing his neck, or just murmuring how much you love him in his ear, just spurring him on. he knows the last thing on your mind is anything sexual, but there’s just something about being under your watchful, almost bored gaze as he fucks himself.
anyways before i get too into it lmfao, he loves kissing you. loves loves loves it. not even full blown make out sessions, just gentle, serene kissing. he can kiss you for hours.
he is also incredible at body worship and praise. paints your pretty collarbone pink and purple, whispers about how you’re perfect for him, describes all your features to you like poetry. he’s an incredible lover, really. nothing can make him fall out of love with you, absolutely nothing.
#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen headcanon#sukuna#jjk sukuna#sukuna x reader#sukuna headcanons#saturo gojo x reader#gojo x reader#satoru x reader#gojo headcanons#saturo gojo headcanons#gojou x reader
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I need to share soft sign language buddies ninogami headcanon because they’re taking over my brain always:
(This got so long, so youre welcome if youre also starved for ninogami content)
Nino’s mom is Deaf , so he grew up signing as much as speaking. When he was younger he always signed as he talked.
It turned out he’s also Hard of Hearing, so sign language is way easier for him to understand most of the time.
However, though he’s great at making friends, he’s very awkward when it comes to talking about himself. So never comes up in conversation.
It’s not a self-deprication issue. It’s just a “thinking of things to say is hard and I’d rather have someone else do the talking” thing. He’d rather talk about anyone except himself.
Additionally! He’s great at helping other people, but he’s terrible at asking for help. He does not EVER want to be like “hey i cant understand what you’re saying, my ears dont work great,” its his worst nightmare
And it doesnt help that there have been a few cases of people being rude about it when he doesnt hear them after they repeat themselves. And possibly worse, there have been even more cases of people giving over-the-top apologies instead of just,, telling him what they said. So it’s not worth the trouble in his mind
with his few close friends who still dont know, it feels like its too late and it’d be awkward to bring it up, so he just… doesnt. He’s procrastinating on telling them he cant hear them
He stopped signing as much as he talked in middle school because strangers would always be like “woah thats so cool, how do you know sign language” and he’d just panic because he was an awkward tween, and he didnt know if he was comfortable telling them he was HoH, but ALSO just saying his mom was Deaf and not mentioning himself felt like directly lying by hiding information, so he just took the “lazy” way out and signed less in public.
Sometimes fighting the anxiety was not worth it so he just let it win in that case.
Nino is so nice and energetic and loves people, but he is way more introverted and anxious than his friends think.
But when they start to get closer, Kagami who is ever-observant, notices him signing a little bit, (not ever to her, not ever on purpose, but he’d sometimes sign a word he needed to remember while speaking or sign along to emphasize something)
and she luckily for his anxiety, she doesnt know how to have a normal conversation either.
Her (platonic as well as romantic) love language is studying and research, and Nino seems very cool and she likes him, even if she is awful at holding a conversation with him or doing anything to show it.
She thinks he’s so cool and such an amazing talented kind friend. She has so much love for him that she doesnt know what to do with it. So she channels that energy into learning to sign through the internet and whatever tools she can find
And then after a while of this, she’s like “oh no, he’s gonna think that’s so creepy, I cant tell him I know sign language or he’ll be so uncomfortable”
So, like a whole idiot, she hides that she’s learning sign language from anyone. Because OBVIOUSLY if word got back to Nino, he’d assume it was because of him and that she was a weirdo he shouldn’t be friends with
But also Kagami accidentally falls in love with sign language because she has undiagnosed autism. She always assumed that communicating was just going to be impossible no matter what, but as she gets proficient in sign language she’s like,,, oh,,, OH,, this is very nice
Even just signing while she talks makes it so much easier to keep words and sentances straight, but she only does it when she’s alone with her mother, who is literally blind and would never know.
They become closer friends in late high school, and by that time a lot of Nino’s anxiety has worn off and he’s become completely comfortable letting teachers know when he needs to hear somthing, and middle school feels like a distant dream
At some point, Nino invites Kagami to his house a few times, and he signs with his mom. Nino is like “I can interpret for you,” and Kagami is like “wow thanks, I’m so lucky, because I obviously do not know any sign language, why would I have learned it, and also for the record it is brand new information to me that you can sign,” and Nino is like “cool? Its not a secret but im glad i told you if you somehow didnt already know,” and Kagami is like, “yep :)”
But then eventually as they become really close, they are texting one night, (Kagami can still barely get out of her house, so they need to communicate remotely. And both of then HATE phone calls bc its so hard to understand whats happening, but neither of them have admitted this to anyone)
Nino admits that he likes using sign language better than talking, and he wishes he could use it with his friends, but he’d feel so guilty asking them to learn an entire language just to make him slightly more comfortable. He can talk and hear OKAY so he shouldnt put the pressure on them.
and Kagami is like “you could always ask, worst case scenerio they say no, and i dont think thats an unreasonable demand” and nino is like “it is though,” and kagami’s like “ok so haha funny story, please dont hate me” and nino is like, “…what.” And kagami confesses everything and nino is like “why… why would i hate you for that?” And Kagami is like “oh wait youre right im stupid,”
And then Nino’s also like “hey if YOURE more comfortable signing too, then why dont YOU ask your friends to sign for you. Do you see what i mean? It’s hard to ask-” and kagami is like, “as your friend i will prove it is not.”
So then Kagami ends up confronting Adrien and Marinette the next day and is like “Hi. This is a sign language dictionary. Learn from it.” And they’re both like “what?” And she’s like “oh wait sorry. Backing up. I’m autistic. I decided like three years ago. Forgot to tell you. And I need you to learn to sign a little bit so you can understand if i sign something at you. If you want, of course. Please :D.” And theyre like “ok sure yeah i can do that.”
(Theyve already learned and accepted that shes extremely direct in asking for things)
So then she texts nino and is like “i did it. Youre welcome.”
But anyway both of them are uncomfortable in crowds and parties: Nino cant hear anyone and Kagami tends to get sensory overload, so they start signing mostly in those situations, and then it starts to sink in that they’re allowed to sign whenever and that the other really IS also comfortable with it.
(Both of them are much more willing to make sacrifices for others than to try something new and intimidating for themself, so this is the perfect situation to trick them into getting out of their comfort zone, ironically by trying to be more comfortable in the long run)
so they will just sit together and hang out and have long conversations while just chilling somewhere in a park or at cafes or whatever. Both of them become chattier than they’ve ever been because talking and understanding is so much easier, and its addicting
And their close friends all become proficient enough in sign language to have simple conversations.
But also Nino and Kagami start sitting together automatically even in group hangouts, and they start hanging out more with just the two of them, and soon neither of them feel bad about asking to hang out in quieter places, because they can justify it knowing that it will also help the other one, and together that makes both of them also more comfortable asking for little accomodations from other friends, if only to prove to the other that they can do it too.
And Kagami has the lesser-known autism side effect where she makes WAY TOO MUCH eye contact. She’s aware of it but that doesnt make it go away. Normally she feels so awkward about it, and overthinks her gaze because she doesnt want to scare people away. But when signing, you literally HAVE to be watching the other person constantly, so she has an excuse to just be herself, and its so relieving
(and also its kind of fun to look at Nino anyway because he can get so animated and his smile is really nice and oh no she is in love a little bit)
And Nino always struggles because he emotionally ALWAYS needs to be the nice polite one. His anxiety sometimes gets the better of him and he’s constantly worried about sending the wrong signals to his friends and coming off as rude somehow. But with Kagami, he can literally just ask?? And she will tell him her honest opinion without making it weird. And its so comfy and so good and he really loves hearing her unfiltered opinions on so many things because she sees the world in such a unique way and she gets so passionate about such little things and then oh no, he is fallen for her before he can realize it
And they also learn that they’re both artists, they both love to just observe the world because even if they;re awkward, people are actually pretty great most of the time, and its fun to observe them and try to capture the world, and they just sit together and sketch, or they watch each other sketch, and the thing is, both of them draw ONLY FOR THEMSELVES, its not a ‘skill,’ and they don;t want it to be, its just private art for relaxation. Somehow, though, its okay if they share their art with each other. They can just sit in comfortable silence for hours while one of them sketches something and the other watches patiently
And they start to get more comfortable with one of their heads resting on the other’s shoulder as they watch them doodle, and sitting so close their legs press together, and soon enough their hands start brushing against each other’s as they walk next to each other and then all of a sudden they’re casually holding hands whenever they’re not signing because it’s nice
They try to share headphones so Nino can share some of his favorite songs and his compositions with Kagami. But try as she might, Kagami can not handle the sensory of only having one earbud in. Nino knows her tells by that point, and he’s not about to let her suffer for a stupid reason, but she REALLY does want to hear his music. They somehow end up with Kagami putting a pair of headphones around her neck and turning up the volume a little bit so she can hear, while Nino rests his head on her shoulder so he can hear just enough to know where she is in the song
And then he has to sit up and scootch away just enough to see her hands so they can talk about it, and they both pretend not to notice how nice it was to snuggle as they sign. Its fine, though, because now they get the excuse to just look at each other again and sign overdramatically with exaggerated facial expressions, and no one else around can overhear their conversation, and Nino likes to go a little over the top when signing onomatopoeia and acting out particular parts of the song rhythm that he likes, and Kagami laughs, and they both mentally save the image of each other in this moment the same way that they look at reference images for artwork, memorizing the lines of each movement and the things that make each smile unique,
and Nino also shows up at every single one of her fencing tournaments, and he sits as close as he can and signs encouraging messages to her from the crowd whenever she’s not actively competing, (that her blind mom can never catch, which is somewhat of a bonus to Kagami, because every element of their friendship that her mother cant interact with makes this more personal and special and HERS). Every little sign she sends back at him, even a simple thank you, always feels so good and rebellious and free because shes supposed to be focusing on fencing but shes deciding to care more about friendship. And even if she’s expected to leave immediately afterword, she’ll find every excuse possible to find him and give him a hug, which he’ll always accept even though she jokingly warns him shes sweaty and gross
And eventually they are special best friends and it brings them instant joy to see each other and theyre able to interact for no reason other than that they want to and like each other
(And then they kiss)
#ninogami#ninami#nino lahiffe#kagami tsurugi#miraculous ladybug#ml#fic tag#dont want to tag this with the other ship because the tumblr algorithm is weird#and i dont want it going in the tag because theres no content for that ship and this directly opposes it#but i respect nino and alyas relationship so much they are so good and perfect#but im also terminally a multishipper#and ninogami is so darn precious too i love them#i just try not think about the circumstances with alya in this shup#ship#just imagine she and nino are still close bros and alya is dating marinette or adrien or whoever else you want
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ashamed to say the 3D reflects our true inner reality, yes? my ENTIRE family has turned against me, after some atrocious conflicts in which they all ganged up on me nd judged me, name-calling, very hurtful things too, provoked me. i been dealing with some serious mental uh 'issues' on my own nd when this happend i was already on the verge of a breakdown nd the good news is while the conflict happened i kept telling myself theyre only reflecting me u can get thru it etc. Later i looked at the hard facts nd realised some of the hurtful things they said were my deep secret feelings abt myself. BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people? confronting one person vs whole family, why?! i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?
Part 2 is simply its been a week and theyve still been cold towards me as if I yelled AT THEM ABT THEIR PAINFUL 'tRuThS' in front of EVERYONE LMAOOO. At first if i was around we'd have dinner together while they'd all talk to each other like best friends aka sickeningly overly friendly while completely IGNORING me while i sat there. i could tolerate it. I WAS PISSED AT THEM TOO Now its too painful. They're having dinner without telling me, yesterday didnt leave enough food for me knowing i hadnt eaten, serve tea/snacks without my portion. i honestly feel so unspeakably trigered nd sad. worst is these things r reminding me of deep school memories when id feel excluded like this by other kids at parties or class activities nd its like im back there. anyway im glad i controled myself a bit nd didnt counter with horrid things abt them to THEM yet they think they can say the same to me. im so hurt rn i cant even tell u lol i was okay the whole week but now its too much,, ive been crying the whole day
thing is, ik this seems like 'im a victim oh noooo they ganged up on meee'. Nope its more like how do i change myself to change them?! u could say why not talk to them how they made u feel, except whenever ive defended myself in the past regarding hurtful things they/anyone in family did, the siblings/parents would say irritating things like: "oh so YOU'RE the one hurt? Oh thats right, its because YOU'RE right! yes, yes, you're always right. Forgive me for saying anything against the perfect person u are." Or one of them says: "You?! I hurt YOU? What about me? You don't care about me! So you think what ur doing is okay?" or "no, who do YOU think u are to tell ME what to do?" it just goes in circles like this! i dont deserve to hurt myself or do smth to myself even if they dont give a damn, even if years of silent suffering of the 'mEntAL pRoBlEms' (which my lovely parents have already told me is my fault years ago, hence why I NEVER show it to them, unless im crying too much then lol they just mock me, but idc abt THAT bcoz now ik i hav a right to let out my emotions)). i mean this is worse rjan usual. its kinda insane nd when guests come they start talking to me as if nothing's wrong then when they leave, they ignore me!
this whole twisted dynamics, feelijf left out nd helpless is ig some crazy assumptin from childhood of being alone nd unable to defend myself. plus when they argye with anyone, they become overly self-righteous nd over the years its clear they can only scream, blame the scapegoat and never talk abt serious matter like normal ppl. And yes, in the past when i bring this up, they like to reply with stuff like: "no YOU'RE the one who doesnt talk to US bla bla" like, when i do u just shut me down? have belittled my mental 'issues', mocked me when im at my worst, stabbed me with cruel silent treatments nd thinking its alright "bcoz of self-righteousness blegh". Or maybe i think its okay for them to punish me? or whatev? Like law says u get what u r. if these ~~~ keep doing this to me, im doubly ashamed to say this means im the one at fault?! i let this monster assunptin grow nd now idk what to do. the worst thing imo is how i failed to tell them,even if they ignored me in the past, how i feel when anything like this or a conflict happens nd none of them stand up for me, or at least are neutral to me. bcoz now if i do, they say nope, u dont care what we do, YOUR the shameless one :! so yeah they hav the advantage of 'numbwrs' while im too afraid to stand up for myself lol. btw they never apologize nd i suspect they expect ME to apologize to TYEM bcoz everything's already ruined bcoz of 'me'..... i give up on them, i really do, but my heart hurts. Either i harden my heart, nd save up to move out, OR i try to change my self or whatev assumptins i have. But how do i do that? i try afirming: "my familys so nice to me, im respected by them" but it feels so fake tears literally enter my eyes lol
firstly i want to say, thank you for coming here to vent and being open about your feelings. it’s so important sometimes to just let it all out, without holding back. so that way you can move forward more bravely, to create the life you truly want to experience. that being said, i am going to be completely honest with you here in hopes that perhaps it may inspire you and you will be ready to do what is needed for the life you truly want to experience.
“BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people?” -> “i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?” here is your question, and here is your answer. i think that being completely honest when venting your feelings can actually be so helpful, because if you read back what you have said, you will be able to clearly find the patterns that are creating your personal hell. FEELING IS THE SECRET. ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO FACT. the true way you feel, becomes your experience. Feelings/assumptions/beliefs come first, and the experiences come second to confirm them. That’s all that’s happening here.
i am glad that you were able to keep your reactions to a minimum! that's wonderful and as many of us know, it can sometimes be hard to do in such hurtful circumstances. but you managed to do it, this shows just a small glimpse of the power you truly hold within. although emotionally you may feel out of control, there is still the choice to choose better for yourself which you demonstrated through your reaction to them. good for you!
the truth is, you acknowledge the victim mindset to seem like you’re not engulfed in it, but no, you’re still very clearly engulfed in it. as i have said before, you can’t be a VICTOR and feel bad about it. feeling bad about taking responsibility, about everyone is you pushed out, about any of these types of concepts automatically shows a victim mindset. talking to them won’t do anything, because there are no second causes. you could talk to them nicely, you could be the nicest person in the world. but you can’t pretend your way out of your inner world. your inner world is the one and only cause of your experiences. until you change the story you tell yourself, they will stay the same. this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. and it can feel heavily, because it’s ultimately only you’re choice. they can’t change until you do. the heaviness of the situation may make it seem impossible to turn around, but that’s just an illusion. your emotional attachment to the situation makes it seem so real and hard to change, but no. that’s just an illusion too. however, it’s ultimately your choice. Do you want to take responsibility for your life, or do you want to keep being tossed around like your lost at sea, victim to the merciless angry waves? Because we always have a choice. No one chooses your inner world, you do. No one can go into your mind and decide things for you, that’s only your job.
you can harden your heart, but who would be the one who suffers more? It won’t be your family, i can assure you. it’ll only be you. by doing that, you keep that old story alive and therefore you keep experiencing it. you keep those stories alive that are desperately showing themselves to you, saying “LET US GO.” but you remain identified with those painful stories, so you grip onto them tight. you keep on thinking of possible reasons for their behavior, but you could just read your entire ask back to yourself and you’ll see every reason. your reactions, your beliefs about them, your emotional pain. its your refusal to let those things go, and focus on what you truly want that keeps you in this state and keeps them in this state. sure it’s painful to face the responsibility at first, but it’s not a blame game. thinking its about blame is just a misunderstanding of the teachings. it’s not about they’re so perfect and you’re so not, so you have to change your ways. it’s about this is how life works here. this is about... you can ONLY ever experience self. whatever is going on within, will be reflected in your outer world. it’s about how they can’t change, UNTIL YOU DO. so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to decide to give yourself the gift of a wonderful life because you have that power too. you stop deciding they can be in control of your experience, and you decide your experience yourself.
to change your assumptions, stop trying to affirm over them and actually face what’s keeping you from believing in your desires. yeah, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable. but you need to face the pain that you’re running away from, so that it can finally be released. you have to realize, it only stayed true because you believed it to be true. and if you are to live a life free from that story, and experience a more desirable story, then you must let the pain go. give yourself love and grace as you work through it, and know that there is a more beautiful side of life that awaits for you to accept it in.
No One To Change But Self
There is Nothing to Forgive
How to Sit with Your Triggers
give yourself the time you need, it's not race. the love that you wish to experience exists, allow it in. 💖
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Thoughts on the whole FOWL arc, particularly Bradford’s arc and his beef with Scrooge? I felt it wasn’t handled great at all, and I think I sympathized a bit more with Bradford than the writers had intended? I dunno, I just wanted Scrooge to be a bit in the wrong for ONCE and suffer real consequences. Never really bought or understood the show’s idea of family or adventure either, especially the VERY extended family they tried to make in Season 3.
i feel like pcs would have a good answer to this actually but Im personally really fuzzy on the whole bradford thing because ive only seen most of season 3 once and didnt enjoy a lot of it so Im....hm. bradford hates....the nebulous idea of adventure because its inconvenient and expensive? and also personally traumatic? am i understanding that correctly?
and for a while i remember thinking....is bradford going to be a vehicle for exploring why scrooge’s reckless, selfish behavior is terrible for everyone else in the world, why hoarding wealth is wrong, why looting other civilizations is wrong, is there going to be a big heel turn, and we’ll have to reconcile with how watching the show from his point of view has blinded us to the harm he’s causing, and why people like musk and bezos are actual real life villains, and is bradford actually going to be a guy you root for, like poison ivy, wouldnt that be SICK??? wouldnt that be smart and brave and interesting???
and then it not only did none of that, but it leaned extra hard into the nepotism angle, without a hint of irony, and im still totally baffled by it
the bradford thing ended up just being...petty and stupid. like if someone was tasked with writing poison ivy and was like “okay but we cant let her be too relatable, she’s right you know, and people know it, so instead of being an eco terrorist trying to reclaim mother earth from capitalist pigs at any cost, she’s just really mad cus someone overwatered her succulents when she went on vacation as a kid.” You HAD something, it was right there, and you had to dial it back because mickey’s signing your paychecks.
i so, so badly wanted scrooge to be WRONG. he IS wrong. He’s ALWAYS been wrong and thats very often the POINT of his character and I really expected that that would be something we could talk about at least a little in 2017-2021 but apparently not. like i HAVE to believe the crew knows, i follow a lot of them on twitter and I see how they talk about current events so I HAD hoped.
idk.
the family thing really got on my nerves after a while because it became a buzzword for, like, “we havent done a good job of selling you this idea but if we say it often enough then you have to accept it as true.” Especially in regards to webby. i think i brought it up sometime around when moonlander aired, because she kept dropping “family” in a way that didnt feel convincing to me and was really obvious every time it happened. and i had a whole long list of things that made it feel forced, starting with “scrooge literally fucking yells that she’s not family and this doesnt concern her and NEVER apologizes” and includes “wow webby says ‘my family’ about the ducks WAY MORE than anyone else says it about her” and “spending a whole season focused on della reconnecting with her biological family SPECIFICALLY, which webby is understandably and justifiably not a part of, leaving her out by necessity” and “lots of episodes about clan mcduck specifically and the power and importance of that bloodline, which is kind of icky actually, but we’ll just paint it as grand and noble and never mention non-mcducks like Quackmore or Elvira because Scrooge is literally the only one who matters.”
and its hard to really sell Webby as part of the unit when you’re so obsessed with the bloodlines and heritage of One Man so I guess in that regard it makes sense why they did what they did. if you’re not gonna devote the time to explaining why she is good and why she matters INDEPENDANTLY of how much scrooge lore she has memorized then i guess yeah just slap some of his genes in her and make it fact because while I wanted to believe that she was part of the family, i dont feel like they ever did the hard work of convincing me she was. they just kept saying FAMILY FAMILY FAMILY until i went “god yeah shut up i get it”
like he NEVER FUCKING APOLOGIZED, guys. and she just forgives him before they ever see each other again. How fucking hard would it have been to have them sit down like “i didnt mean it, i was wrong, and if i didnt see you as my family then thats my own fault because you’ve been here under my roof your whole life and i had my head too far up my own cloaca to see what i was missing. that changes now, you’re one of us”
but that would mean admitting he was wrong. and scrooge is never wrong.
#UUGGGGH#'soup why are you so mad its just a cartoon'#CARTOONS CAN BE GOOD#steven universe was good and it had 11 minutes episodes#so bite me#ducktales#Anonymous
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I'm. The new covers, op. The new covers. Gosh. Both of them hold so much symbolism. And technically they both are canon, they are both original ideas that could perfectly be valid. Horikoshi simply found something better. But anyways, I'm going to go ahead and ramble about it because Im- Op, prepare for a long ask! Hope you like it!
So!
On the one where Katsuki's the one in the picture, he's not on his knees like he is in the other two covers. Instead, he has his face down, body forward, one hand on one leg, the other one holding out for something...He's bowing. Bowing in Japanese culture is a pretty big deal. Hes not just tilting his head a bit, his head and body are on full on commitment.
Such a tilted bow means a LOT, specially from THIS guy, Mr dont let anyone walk in front of me. Even more when hes not just bowing, but accepting such an open display of given help, Mr shonen anime lone wolf. Accepting something he always has trouble admitting to. Accepting the past, accepting the wrongs. Accepting Izukus help means so much, and that's what these three covers have in common.
His hand is sctretching out. He's ready to say yes to that hand out in the air.
(Ps. I wonder if he's watching his own reflection on the water in this panel, as well?)
Hes in middle of the picture with those childhood friend at the back, which means audience. It means letting people see what hes done, what he's sorry for. He is being open and exposed and vulnerable. That's no fighting stance.
Remember guys, in case you haven't noticed before, Horikoshi puts lots of metaphorical value in his manga and on his covers. Sometimes you've got to dig in deep and think to get the bigger picture. And in this case, the bigger picture screams regret and wanting to make things right from the start.
This cover occurs in the past, at the moment where everything started, and Katsuki fully remembers this. Katwuki has thought of this, is thinking about this. He's had eye bags for gods sake, he's clearly troubled by all of what it means.
These three covers are the visual explanation of what's going on inside Katsuki's head, because this is clearly focused on him and his perspective.
(Ps. Rivers symbolise the massage of time. If that doesnt add to everything else, I dont know what to tell you.)
So! Next!
Wow, if this isnt one of my favourite things ever. Okay. Christ.
I have two options here. Scratch that, three options. Scream into the void, scream into this post, or actually make a good presentation of my inner turmoil. I'll have to go by the third option. (Haha. Just like horikoshi did. Dont # me, I'm funny in my head.)
This cover melted my insides, froze them all over, and hit me with them like a hammer.
I know they're kids, but let me get this straight-so kids seriously look at their friends with these looks in their eyes and think "ah, yes. This is my very good friend. This gentle smile and kind look I'm giving him as if he was my whole world? Well, hes just a very good friend."
I looked at my childhood crush this way, I dont know what to tell you.
Anyway, let's actually jump to the information at hand.
This panel seems like it's making a reference to what Katsuki wishes could have been. And if that's not absolutely soul-crushing...this cover is Katsuki's feelings, guys. These are probably his very thoughts. This scene has gone through Katsuki's head at some point.
We've got Izuku in his stuck up pose all over again, in just an awkward angle. It's like katsuki isnt looking AT this katsuki right now, but at the spot where the actual past Katsuki, at some point, was. As if this Isuku is frozen in time. Dont believe too much in this paragraph, I still have my doubts about that, but I feel it's a possibility. Izukus eyes seem to be focused on the water, while Katsuki is just the tiniest bit back, reaching for Izukus hand. And gosh.
I dont think I've ever seen older NOR child Katsuki have this look plasted into his face before. He's...sheepish. Kindly, awkwardly sheepish. No hate, no anger, no shame, no nothing. His face is clear and sweet and has this "Whoops. You got me. But thanks." kind of expression on.
The hand behind his head, just the tiniest but embarassed? That little smile? It's all so soft.
Rambling about softness though- I really liked the hand scene in this particular panel. If you close up your view, you realise that theres no effort to pull anyone out of nowhere. In this panel, they are simply holding hands in frozen time for no purpose at all.
Katsuki has his hand around Izuku...simply holding there.
Again, because the angle is awkward, it's kind of messy, but you get the point.
It's all simply beautiful. Horikoshi clean likes give me life.
And lastly. The actual cover.
I screeched so hard when I saw this. My first instinct when seeing this for the first time was to straight up go trigger happy fingers and write about it to my friends. Christ.
Everything is so...SOft. horikoshi made a good decision by mixing both previous drawings in one. We have parts of the two covers in one, which is amazing. In this one, Katsuki isnt alone, as Izuku's there too. But we dont have the audience either. Probably because the main focus on this panel is no one else except them two.
Again, Katsuki looks like he's bowing, but instead of looking all the way down, he's in the middle. Not looking at Izuku nor looking at the ground, like it shows in the previous covers. Instead, Horikoshi found a middle ground. He's looking at his hand. At the gesture.
Hes not holding hands quite yet, but his hand is there. At arms reach. Not close enough but there. Wanting.
Theres so much regret and again, softness.
Again, like you Op said a bit bad, the angle is off here. This is present Katsuki remembering his past. The angle is off because this Izuku isnt holding out for our Katsuki. This is a memory. A wish. Katsuki's wish.
(Ps. Izukus trousers drenched in the rivers water. This detail was so nice. It's a subtle action that describes Izukus characterization so much. Izuku went in the river with Katsuki in mind, not caring if he got his clothes soaked in the process too. For Izuku, only Katsuki was there. And for Katsuki, only Izuku is.
As a plus, I can't believe the cover of this is literally called Bakugou Katsuki rising. They named the entire thing after that one chapter. Actually, I very much, totally believe it. It's the moment so many people have been waiting for, after all. The moment so many scenes have been amounting for, little by little.
*dreamy sigh*
Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this little thing, I had to get it out of my system and dont want to bother my dear friends anymore than needed.
Have a good day, OP! I'll stay updated!
You kinda just...took my heart and curb stomped it, not gonna lie. Your observations are so beautiful and so accurate. The sketch with little Bakugou taking Izuku’s hand is so...raw, and yeah, that expression is definitely one of love. Those eyes, the way he is HOLDING Izuku’s hand, not TAKING it. He isn’t taking it to stand up, he is literally just...holding it.
That isn’t the way you take someone’s hand when you’re trying to pull yourself up. It’s an awkward angle and just...wouldn’t work right. No, he is literally just holding his hand, and that’s exactly what Bakugou wishes he did all that time ago. He wishes that he not only took Deku’s hand, but held onto it. Held it as if it were something precious, something to be cared for and protected.
These are Bakugou’s true feelings expressed in these drawings, and I think Horikoshi released them on purpose, to show us more of what he wanted Bakugou to be feelings through all of this. Since after all, we know that Bakugou expresses himself in action, not so much words. And because Horikoshi is an absolute genius, he thought to give us these other glimpses in how he feels through these actions.
And the other sketch with him bowing his body to Izuku, and the way the log looks like it’s on his back with his ‘friends’ on top of it.
The pressure of needing to be the coolest, the strongest, the best. Those kids put that kind of pressure on him, even if they never realized it. They encouraged his behavior and fed his ego, and it never allowed him to see how he was wrong. But now he is realizing it, and he is bowing himself in light of that acknowledgement. He is lowering his head and putting his pride away, so he can get back what he lost all those years ago; the opportunity to take Izuku’s hand.
To take the hand of the only one of those kids that ever loved him unconditionally. Who never pressured him or expected him to be invincible. Who saw all of his flaws and was completely prepared to support him despite all of it. The only one.
I’m just a mess over all of this, and I am so incredibly thankful to Horikoshi for creating this beautiful relationship. AND IN A SHOUNEN MANGA, NONETHELESS!!
Thank you friend, for your beautiful thoughts. I think they’re spot on, and I am so emotional all over again because of this.
#bnha spoilers#bnha#mha#bkbk#bakudeku#midoriya izuku#bakugou katsuki#kacchan#deku#bnha meta#bnha analysis#blackiee-is-heree#asks#basketball idiot#basketball idiot replies
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~WHOLESOME WEDNESDAY~
Not to be a soft motherfucker but I've been wanting to do this again for a week now so I guessed I would try my best to fit as many of my thoughts here as I can without being annoying or tumblr fucking up plz bear with me heh but we know none of those are actually possible anyway so THERES THAT also this is fucking long wow ANYWAY
WARNING WORD VOMIT sjsjsjsj I dont even know what i wrote I'm sorry but I'm tagging yall anyway
Some of you I speak to on a daily basis, yknow? Like,, as admin. And its fucking insane because like- I don't know but like isn't it insane? sjajsjsj How fast some people come to grow in your heart and get under your skin and become so important for you. I think it's crazy. That in four months or so I've made more friends in here that in my whole life and I've learned so much about life and myself and I've gotten marked and some of you imprinted on my mind and heart forever. And like HELL I wasn't here when most big dramas happened but I was here for two very big ones and like??? idk it feels like all of us have been through shared crises and somehow grown closer sjajskwjs idk I'm weird and im sensitive today and I just feel like wow what would I be doing without all of you right now? probably studying. or scrolling Twitter in which I never spoke to anyone. or watching Instagram stories and getting sad over how all my ex class partners are still in contact and hang out and keep strong relationships while I just sit here. like, I know we all say this place sucks and we hate it and its toxic and don't get me wrong of course some people is fucking shitty and they take a toll on a lot of others but that like... it also happens in real life yknow?? but like in real life how many people do you think would actually idk sit with you through a panic attack or stay up with you till 8am or wake up in the middle of the night or rave with you or hype you up or have meme wars or send you daily jokes or just randomly tell you how much you mean to them or make posts asking where you are when you disappear or been gone for too long or make people that doesnt know you send you birthday wishes? like I'm not saying it doesnt happen but isnt it wonderful that it happens HERE with US where maybe out of 10 people only 2 know each other in real life? Isnt it wonderful that we're from all around the world? that you half of the time dont realize someone isnt from English speaking places because they're too good or even when they're not that good no one judges you because this is such an inclusive and wonderful place for people of all races and colors and sexualities and nationalities and body types and hair colors?
idk I'm just RAMBLING but like I wanted to let everyone know that even if we dont speak, even if we NEVER spoke, even if we're only on each others tag lists, or even if I was and you took me off or I took you off or if you deleted or if you have 817383 bots and you speak to me in all of them or only one or whatever PLEASE just know that I love you so much and I appreciate you and you're awesome and if you made some mistakes know that you CAN fix them you CAN learn and be better you CAN grow.
I believe that everyone is capable of learning and changing and everyone deserves a second chance as long as they genuinely show the intention of changing and bettering themselves. I believe that we're capable of forgiving and maintaining healthy relationships without hard feelings. I believe we all have goodness. I believe we all are small universes and we have stars in our eyes and supernovas in our brains and a million things to discover and I believe its funnier to be together than alone and I'm rambling again but like idk just yesterday I was sending someone a message telling them how maybe I'm fucking delusional and naive because who the fuck goes out on their daily saying "be skeptical. dont trust too much. always pay attention" but then after two days of talking with someone they're fucking platonically whipped and would sell their soul as long as they can see those around them happy? trick question I know many of you do too which WORRIES ME PLZ DONT PUT YOUR HEARTS ON THE LINE SO EASILY I drifted I forgot what I was saying oh welp
Anyway for some of you i have so much to say I could write endless paragraphs about you about admins and characters and life and wow I do speak a lot to admins sometimes I speak more to admins as admin that the characters and for some others I can only say a few things or wish you to have a good day some of you I only ever spoke to your character or we talked too little or never at all wow I say that a lot but like one thing yall have in common is that I love you so much even if you don't know me or dont care alright I dont care if you don't care I LOVE YOU and you can FIGHT ME if you dont wanna accept it smh I just want you to know that this place so many of you have been feeling is crumbling down or hurting them or isnt the same anymore is MY safe place too is a place where I feel comfortable and secure and I know, well decide to believe, that you guys would never do willingly anything to hurt another and yknow sometimes I just sit in bed and look at my account and I'm like wow I suck I should delete but then I'm like I could never do that to you I really couldn't because I've been told so many times I'm peoples safe place too and I would never want to take that away from you yknow
I mean I'm not gonna say we shouldn't pay attention to the bad things that happen because this is somehow our home and it's on us to protect it but I think that we shouldnt focus so much on it. because theres still so many good things that we overlook when we think of the bad or when we let things get to us or when we decide to act out of impulse and not think through stuff yknow
ANYWAAY what I'm trying to say is that I love you all so so so so so much and this is my safe place because you're here for me when I need it and I would never give you guys up for anything and like i have so many people for whom i stay daily and try my best and I hope that someday when you need a reason i can be that for you too because I've said this in private but I want everyone to know that this is my corner too and I will always fight for it and protect it so like we can all fight for it together whenever things get rough or you can leave me alone and maybe I'm being super dramatic and putting a lot of weight on this but I started overthinking like halfway and in just tthink that I want to keep yall close to me and my heart forever ok so stay safe and healthy and happy yeah fight for your happiness fight for what you deserve fight for what you want and don't let anyone ANYONE EVER take away from you your joy and your spark and your will to be yourself ok bye
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was gonna try and do multiple characters in one post but nope! i have too much to say. also the pictures are all different sizes so its rly hard to get the photoset to look appealing, so we’re starting w/ blue. and also a colored pic of what adam looks like when he’s not a deer. boy’s tryin not to stand out. which goes great up for him right up until it doesn’t. lmao. i’ll talk a bit about him too w/ stuff that didnt get mentioned in the starter post about him and gansey, but this is mostly gonna be about blue.
SO.
there’s this fey entity, right? i don’t have a name for them, but they’re not...they didnt START the fey/human conflict, but they are benefiting from it, politically speaking? and when maura was younger, despite other witches being like “girl dont choose sides, we’re witches, we guard boundaries but we don’t choose sides,” was hotheaded and brash and went “ok but fuck that though” and one thing led to another and she ended up getting a curse on her firstborn. Oops. that’s where the kissing curse comes from, here; i’ll get into that much later in a text post probably but gansey’s survivor’s guilt thing doesnt come from him actually dying in this au it’s from something Else, but blue will still kill him if she kisses him, just, for different reasons, it’s an actual curse this time and not something to do with the nature of who they both are.
her father’s still a tree light, but like, she actually knows that from the outset? because. they live in cabeswater. the tree lights are all around and accept her as one of their own even if she can’t turn into a tree, and as a result of that, she’s got some cool perks.
a) extremely resistant and/or outright immune to a Lot of fey bullshit
b) still boosts psychic energies and magical powers like in canon
c) the absolute safest person to be traveling in cabeswater ever, because the forest itself loves her, and also if you mess with her within the borders of cabeswater a bunch of tree lights will physically manifest and be like “hey buddy wanna think twice about that”
but she can’t use magic herself, still, which actually works in the favor of herself and the coven--witchcraft is in a sort of weird spot, culturally, where it’s both feared and often hated, but also understood to at times be necessary, especially by rural peoples like those of the village. im taking a very discworld spin on the witchcraft, because i love discworld and you can’t stop me, and so the attitude is, like. its frightening ancient magic and the church hates it but when there’s an emergency and someone’s on the border between life and death, or something is trying to pass into this world from another, etc etc etc, then you gotta suck it up and call on a witch because they’re the only ones who can deal with those things. so. the coven is tolerated, both because it’s too big and powerful to actually fight but also because it’s extremely needed when you live in a village right next door to fey lands. you NEED someone watching the border. however that doesn’t mean anyone wants to be seen publicly talking to a witch--but blue’s not a witch. she’s a witch’s daughter, but she’s not a witch herself, which is a step removed enough that she can go into town and run errands and also people will maybe pull her discretely aside and tell her if something’s coming up that the coven should know about, and it all works very neatly with her acting as a sort of liaison. very important role she plays, which is why gansey tries talking to her after his initial attempt to speak with the coven directly fails.
speaking of the coven itself: i’ve been calling it the fox way coven, even tho it probably wouldn’t be called that because there’s no road called fox way that the coven is built on, it’s a big magic house out in the fairy forest, BUT they do have a fox theme because i love foxes and this is a gift i have been given. if people have familiars in this coven, they’re foxes rather than cats, because as wonderful as cats are u cant have them and foxes in the same house that will go bad. but also there’s a v small number of them, like maybe three or four total out of the much higher number of women living there, who are fey blooded like adam, but who become foxes rather than adam’s deer. persephone is one of these! (it’s worth noting the reason why they become the same animal is because of a combination of coincidence, intentional theming, and mostly just because like, virtually all of the residents there aside from persephone are related to either maura or calla)
anyway the point is, because of this, blue’d seen enough feyblood transformations that when, one day when she was 9 or 10, on a visit to town, she saw the most distressed, disoriented fawn wobbling around frantically and was able to very quickly recognize that that was, in fact, a person who had probably turned into a deer for the first time, and responded by very calmly informing him that she knew who could help and leading him home. this is where those last two pictures come from, and how adam’s apprenticeship started.
like, there was a lot of arguing from the witches immediately--of course we’re going to teach him how to become human again but we aren’t really going to take him on in the coven are we? he’s a boy, he’s some local kid we know nothing about, what happened to keeping it in the family, he’s the wrong animal and we’ve got a whole thing going on--at which point persephone parted everyone like the red sea, took one look at adam, went “mine now” and despite a lot of grumbling that was the end of it. she took him on a bit of a tour of cabeswater a few days later, after he’d had time to think it over, and he felt so drawn to the forest that he agreed to the apprenticeship.
so he’s technically persephone’s apprentice but like in actual practice he’s being taught by the entire coven lmao, ANYWAY
adam being adam also had a backup plan for trying to get out of the village--even at ten he figured witchcraft might be a first way out of there, he was already thinking about it, but by thirteen when the good ole abuse started (and at which point the last whispers of dissent died out very quickly amongst the coven, nope, adam is one of us now, do you want us to very threateningly hang out in your front yard sometime because we can do that--what do you mean no, let us do this,) he was also like. i dont think this is a guarantee of getting out of here i need a second job. and the thing is, as was mentioned in the original post, the fey blood also means adam’s got issues with iron; it’ll poison him if he’s stabbed with it but it also reacts to his skin touching it like a hot stove. he’s fine if there’s a layer between his skin and the iron, but if he touches it directly, it’s Bad. so ofc this headstrong idiot takes an open spot a t a metalworker’s in the village because adam is the king of making bad decisions. the witches have a betting pool on how long it’ll take him to out himself. “its fine i’ll wear gloves,” he says. “it’s the perfect disguise no one will expect someone with fey connections to work near so much iron,” he says. “i have everything perfectly under control,” he says.
anyway he totally forgets to wear gloves before grabbing an iron tool while his dad and his boss are both in the store and in clear view of him and that’s why he was getting chased by hunters when gansey rescued him
also he and blue tried dating when they were like 13-14 and it ended about as badly as in canon and they made up later and by the time the story starts they’ve settled into very much being weird siblings. adam starts hanging out with gansey initially to try and basically spy on him, figure out why he’s here, but ends up rly liking the guy and deciding his reasons are sincerely to try and help people, and he tells this to blue who starts immediately accusing him of having a crush on the lordling and being a class traitor, because she does NOT like gansey at this point and really the nobility all prefer wizards to witches which is a stupid idiot decision and frankly the fact that this lordling is apparently enamored by some random deer is hilarious to her, but even moreso is the fact that adam actually defends the lordling to her, like, “wow adam its hilarious that the lordling’s friend thinks that you have charmed the lordling because from my perspective it looks the other way around” “shut uuuup you’re not listening im serious, like, yeah ok he put his foot in his mouth really hard when he talked to you but im telling you i dont think the whole i-wanna-understand thing is an act” “idk if i can trust you through those rose tinted glasses buddy. tell me again about that time he called you princely?” “oh my god”
this is turning into rambling but. thats the gist of the witches and blue esp thank u for coming if u made it this far here’s a bonus persephone fox
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when dani and jamie kissed and dani jumped back she said “i dont know what to say” but she had just told jamie she can see ed’s ghost sometimes, so why didnt she say? (no blame on her, i just wonder about different turns scenes can take)
also in that scene jamie says “no, it’s my fault” BBY IT IS NOT UR FAULT. her voice when she says “another time maybe” sounding like shes about to cry. sweetie.
that scene is so important for both of them im just imagining these two women who have grown up probably never being able to express attraction to women and they unexpectedly fell for each other and they FINALLY kiss and their whole worlds change instantly. like hot fucking damn.
who knows how long dani has known she was gay but she accepted it at least a year before that? jamie definitely has known for a long long time, accepted it as another way the world makes her feel like shit. she yearns hard. i always wonder if she’s had a girlfriend or kissed women before. but imagine she hadn’t??? and she has this whirlwind experience with dani of not knowing what was okay or how to feel it out and make sure she’s not making a huge mistake. and FINALLY gets to kiss her??? holy shit!!!!!! fuck!!!!!!
going as far to stop to ask her if shes sure. afraid maybe she pressured her in some way, or that shes had too much wine or is emotional and doesnt mean it and doesnt actually want her. and dani says yes. and then it gets heated and dani jumps away and she thinks ah, the other shoe has dropped. it got too real. and STILL says “its my fault.” BABE.
yeah maybe it wasnt a good moment to do this when they had been drinking and they had been emotional, but dani was so sick of feeling like she had no control over her life, feeling guilty and having to see that damn ghost reminding her of it, and she liked jamie SO MUCH and she had already held her hand and tried to make that mean something, and she’s been wanting to kiss her, and shes RIGHT THERE and they’re alone so she just DOES IT. because she really genuinely wants it. it only got messy because they never said how they felt out loud.
didnt mean to write this much this was very extra of me
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