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yellowjestertfs · 2 months ago

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Altered State: Part 1

IDK if anyone on here will be interested in this story, its kind of a long and slower but thought I would post it anyways. More parts coming next week!

Most great adventures start with a call to arms, a quest from on high, a declaration of purpose to serve the greater good. Edward’s and Leon’s started with a question asked through a mouthful of chips.

“Wanna play this new game dude?” Leon asked words barely intelligible. He stood in the doorway of their living room, his fat frame blocking most of the light. In one hand he held a bag of chips and in the other, he held up an unfamiliar battered keep case, the type that held video game disks inside. The thing had a red and blue design that Edward didn't recognize.

“I guess. What is that thing, will it work on my Wii?” Edward asked. He lay on the couch, long thin body taking up the whole thing but sat up and moved over to make room for his roommate.

Leon shook his head “I don’t think so dude, it's like super retro.” He walked over to the TV and started fiddling with the row of older consoles that belonged to their third roommate Alvis trying to see if any could accommodate the game. "It was free though." He said as he found the right one, an extremely retro blocky thing Edward was surprised even accepted disks. Leon booted up the system, the familiar hum of the machine filling the space. “I got it from that comic shop down the street. This buff dude at the counter just handed it to me. Said he thought I would put it to good use.”

“Alvis would kill you if he knew you were touching that,” Edward warned, always the one to show more caution.

“Fuck Alvis. If he didn't want it to be used he shouldn’t have bought it” Leon countered. Neither of the two were particularly big fans of their other roommate, but Leon especially hated his guts. He only let the guy live with them because it made the rent cheaper and because Alvis’ weird retro tech fit in with their decor of half-finished Lego sets, empty pizza boxes, and superhero posters, and because for the most part, Alvis left the two friends alone, spending all his time in the engineering building or fiddling with tech in his room.

Leon opened the case and took out a dusty disk, growing on it to reveal the title “Altered State” and the manufacturer HunkTech, neither of which either Leon or Edward had ever heard of. Leon put the game back into Alvis’s video game console and pressed play. The TV flickered for a moment, then exploded with color so bright it forced both of them to squint. Flashes of neon light, strange symbols, and spinning images seared into their eyes, leaving dancing after images. Neither of the friends could look away, their senses overwhelmed by the pulsating lights that burned into the back of their brains. And just as suddenly as it started, the TV went black and both friends came back to themselves.

“Oh shit" Edward muttered, blinking rapidly to clear his vision. "Your game just fried the TV!Alvis is going to kill you.”

Leon opened his mouth to defend himself but before he could a green holographic display blinked into existence, floating in the air right in front of him. Growing text marched across the living room floor reading:

"Welcome to Altered State.”

Leon’s jaw dropped. "Uh, Ed? You seeing this?”

Edward stood motionless for a moment too shocked to speak. “What the fuck” he breathed “What's going on?”

Both of their holograms shifted to display naked, pixelated 3D models of the two friends, hanging awkwardly in midair.

“Eww, what the hell,” Leon said. He tried to avert his gaze but the images followed the motion of his head and stayed even when he shut his eyes.

Neither of the projections was a particularly flattering sight to behold. Leon’s short, heavy frame was rendered in painful detail—his soft belly, narrow shoulders, pudgy limbs, and average penis were all fully extenuated under the brutally detailed holographic projection. Edward’s model didn’t fare any better. Tall and spindly, his twig-like arms and knobby knees, paired with a notoriously ugly face, gave him the appearance of a scarecrow. Edward was not helped much in its attractiveness by the acne on his face, the greasy thin hair on his head, and the pitifully small penis between his legs fully visible in the naked light of the hologram.

“Your the one with your dick in my face.” Edward shot back, cheeks flushed with embarrassment at the display.

The hologram flickered again, and new text appeared below both their models:

Analyzing subjects…

The text began to blink as new displays blinked into existence on the peripheral of both their vision, only really notable if focused on. Various menus that displayed statistics quests and a list perks were all there, though all were currently blank. The words level one along with an empty an empty progress bar beneath appeared at the top of their filed of view, though only visible to themselves and not the other.

Neither of the two friends had time to examine the new features in detail as the words under their models shifted again.

“Analyzing Purpose: Class Selection”

"Class selected: Juggernaut.” Appeared under Leon’s character.

Leon blinked. "Juggernaut?" he repeated, unsure what to make of the development.

Edward snickered, “I think that's the fantasy term for fatty.”

But before Leon could respond, Edward’s display changed too:

"Class selected: Snake Charmer.”

“What like I’m going to play the flute?” Edward asked.

It was Leon's turn to laugh. “No bro, the game just called you a homo.”

It took Edward a second to understand. “Not funny,” he said swatting his best friend on the arm, blushing somehow harder. “This is seriously messed up. We need to go to the hospital or something.”

“Relax charmochondriac, don't you see what’s happening?”

“Group psychosis?” Edward guessed.

“No dude, we are in a video game, and we fucking rule at video games.”

“Leon” Edward said warningly. Before he could say more though quests populated onto both their displays.

“Dude chill this is awesome. My first quest is easy too. I bet I can get level ten before you.”

Edward wasn’t as ready to accept this rapid series of unexplainable events but he also wasn’t ready to let his best friend think he was a chicken. “Fine. I’ll meet you back at the house when I kick your ass.”

Leon laughed and with that both boys raced out the door, shoving each other playfully to get out first. From there both took off to opposite sides of campus, towards their various objectives and their differing yet intimately intertwined destinies.

Leon raced, or his version which was something between a fast walk and an awkward jog, across campus to his first quest. It seemed easy enough: “Go to the gym” it read. Leon wasn’t exactly one for physical fitness but he at least knew where the health center was from campus orientation tour.

Despite his slow pace by the time he reached it he was out of breath. For a moment he stood in front of automatic double doors, panting and intimidated. He stuck out like a sore thumb on this part of campus, dressed in the ratty strained Superman shirt and baggy shorts his protruding belly and wild unkempt hair stood in stark contrast to the muscular adonis in low tank tops and tall fit women in matching sports sets who brushed by him without a second thought. Mustering his courage Leon walked through the doors and into the gym. His ears were greeted by the sound of slamming weights, rhythmic grunts, and a small ding as he completed his first quest and leveled up. He watched as the experience bar filled fully, bumping his level up to two and filling his vision with notifications. The bar continued to fill until it had reached halfway to the next level. A notification appeared in a gray box with plain white blocky text.

You have reached level two. You receive attribute points based on your class: +3 Strength, +1 Charisma +0.3 Intelligence.

Leon grinned as he felt himself change. He couldn’t actually feel himself getting smarter or more charismatic. He wasn't sure if that was because those were more cognitive stats or if it was because the increase was marginal compared to his strength. Either way, it was a strength that Leon felt himself receive. It wasn't much. Leon didn’t suddenly become a hulk or a bodybuilder but he felt something shift. His shoulders widened slightly, his chest inflated a bit and his butt became less saggy. A single vein buried deep in the layers of fat in his arm engorged itself with blood and snaked its way to the surface, pushed upwards by growing muscle and diminishing fat. He felt physically stronger, faster, like he might be able to actually run a bit without throwing up. He didn't actually look all that different, a quarter of an inch taller, a few pounds shifted from fat to muscle, but inside he felt amazing, electric, like this is what he was made for. Leon suspected that feeling had to do with the other notification waiting for him just below the first.

“You have gained a class perk.”

“Gym Rat: as a juggernaut, you feel comfortable in all athletic spaces.”

Leon felt all his worries and insecurities about being in the gym fade away. He scanned his student ID and strode past the muscled jock at the front counter confidently, flashing him a smile and a slight wave. Leon felt just as comfortable in the gym as if he was at the comic book shop, no more, he felt like he was at home chilling with Edward, like he could do anything and give a damn about who judged him. Leon knew he should be concerned about how this game had physically changed his body and mind so easily but he was too invigorated, too electrified, and he had another quest to do.

“Do a push-up.” It read simply.

Leon hadn’t tried to do a push-up since 8th grade gym class but he felt confident he was capable of it with the boost to strength he had received. Leon weaved through the various machines and stations manned by the university’s resident hunks and athletes, some gave him dirty looks but most looked right through him. Leon found he couldn’t care less. He found a corner of the free mat and assumed the push-up position. Despite the recent slight boost to his athleticism, it was a task easier said than done. Leon went down as far as he could until he felt his arms begin to shake, about an inch, then pushed himself up with substantial effort.

To his disappointment, the quest still read as incomplete. He reasoned it must be due to his, form. He tried to go lower but ended up face-first on the mat, unable to push himself up. He went to his knees and did a push-up but that didn’t count either. Nor did a push-up with his butt out in the air, or one in which he rested on the ground for a few seconds in the middle. Leon was about to give up when he saw a guy around his age approach.

He didn't have the same gorilla bulk as some of the huge men in the gym but his body was visibly lean and defined through his tee-shirt, maybe a runner. “Need any help there” he asked. Leon couldn’t tell if he was being genuine or mocking but his new total comfort in the gym provided by his “Gym Rat” perk made him not care.

“I’m trying to do a push-up.”

“Just one?” The guy asked with a grin.

“Gotta start somewhere,” Leon said humbly.

“Your problem is your stance.” He said. He instructed Leon to assume the plank position and then went about correcting Leon’s form. His arms were too close together, his core was not properly engaged, back not fully straight. The man introduced himself as Cal and then instructed Leon to try again. Leon tried another pushup lowering his body slowly “Lower, lower” Cal called Leon and complied though his face turned red and he wanted to die. Cal didn't let him stop till the tip of his dick was practically touching the mat. Then he went back up, slowly and with more exertion than he had ever used in his whole life.

He was rewarded with a ding and a slew of notifications.

“You have reached level three. You receive attribute points based on your class: +3 Strength, +1 Charisma +0.3 Intelligence.”

“You have gained a class perk.”

“Perfect Form: as a juggernaut, you instinctually know the proper form to maximize the performance of any athletic endeavor.”

Leon felt his body shift again from where it lay crumpled on the mat. His stomach deflated slightly, and under his man boobs pecs started to form. His legs lengthened a bit causing his shorts to only reach his knees instead of past them. The changes were as small as the first but Leon couldn’t help but feel amazed. He tried to do another push-up and found that his body now naturally assumed the perfect position without him having to think about it. With his new points in strength, he was able to push out another perfect military-style push-up, and two more before he flopped down onto the mat, fully spent.

“You're getting the hang of it,” Cal said smiling. If he had seen Leon's body change he made no indication. “good luck on your workout,” he called out as he left.

“Yeah see you around man” Leon called after him. He felt on cloud nine. At this rate, Leon would reach level 10 by the hour. On cue, two more quests appeared for him to complete. He wondered how Edward was doing, if he had even gained one level by now. Maybe once Leon had power gamed his way into OP status he could help his friend with a quest or two.

Edward walked across the quad at a brisk pace. He would have run if his bony arms and legs didn't make him look like a chicken when he did. Edward wasn’t quite as sold on this whole bizarre real life video game thing as Leon was but he also wasn’t about to let Leon leave him in the dust. Edward's first quest was pretty simple if non-specific, “be within 50 feet of 30 or more people”.

Edwards tendency to avoid large crowds gave him the advantage of knowing exactly where they often were. The coffee shop by the quad came right to his mind. At this time of the day, the place was packed with students either leaving or going to their mid-day classes. The place terrified Edward, the thought of so many eyes on him, judging him, mocking him, and yet Edward reasoned there was no harm in at least checking the place out, it not as if the quest required him to talk to anyone.

As he walked Edward wondered at the game. Leon, true to self had accepted the game right away without question. If his friend was muscular instead of fat he might be called a himbo. It wasn’t that he was dumb, he was getting a degree in public health, but he also didn't have a habit of thinking things through particularly throughly. Their freshmen year Leon had built a glider out of the shower curtain and broke his arm jumping off the second floor of their dorm with it. And last year Leon had thought it was a good idea to subscribe to some shady porn website that had given his computer a virus so corruptive even tech wizard Alvis couldn’t remove it.

Though they were inseparable best friend Edward was the opposite. He was much more cautious about everything, sometimes to irrational extremes. Last semester Edward had almost dropped out because he was too nervous to get approval for his classes from his sociology advisor. If he was scared of his sixty-five year old sweet as candy professor talking to guys he liked was surly out of the question, not that he would have any hope of success with his appearance.

As Edward walked across the quad he avoided eye contact with students crowded onto the open green sitting and chatting or throwing frisbees. Edward felt drowned in the sea of people, though the lawn wasn’t nearly dense enough to fulfill the quest.

The line for the coffee shop was out the door which made him want to throw up. He walked slowly forward waiting for the quest to complete. Finally, when he was only a few feet away, practically in line the quest was fulfilled and his experience bar to level two filled fully.

Edward heard a “ding” in his head and several notifications filled his vision startling him.

“You have reached level two. You receive attribute points based on your class: +3 Charisma, +1 Intelligence +0.3 Strength.”

“You have gained a class perk.”

“People Person: Those around you feel your natural charm and are more likely to accept you in a neutral or positive way, potentially even striking up a conversation.”

Edward felt a strange itch on his brow and a pressure on his jaw but ignored it. He didn't know what to make of the messages. The stats seemed somewhat consistent with role-playing video games, and he supposed the break down made sense with his class. Still, he wasn’t sure how something like charisma would be incorporated into real life, nor his new People Person perk. As a sociology major Edward knew all too well how complex human interaction was. The perk seemed to imply that not only would the game be changing him but also the people around him and their perceptions. He wasn’t sure if that was even possible not to mention ethical.

“Introduce yourself to a stranger,” the next quest said popping up on the side of Edward's vision. That more than any ethical quandary made Edward scared. It was all well and good for the game to claim that people would react positively to Edward but he knew firsthand that wasn’t true.

“Hey, are you in line” two girls who had walked up behind him asked. Edward froze, realizing he had positioned himself at an awkward spot half in line half not. The girls didn't seem disgusted by his presence but they also didn't seem particularly enthralled, they just wanted to get their coffee.

Edward nodded his head, the best he could do with his crippling social anxiety. He moved more obviously in line and the girl went back to chatting. As the line crept closer Edward tried and failed several times to work up the courage to introduce himself to the girls. He came up with various scenarios in his head of how he could make an introduction, all of which ended with the girl calling him a creep.

Finally, after ten minutes, Edward reached the front of the line. He realized in his attempts to complete the quest he hadn’t so much as glanced at the menu.

“What will you be having today” a tall tan worker asked, his tattooed arms pleasantly stretching out the sleeves of his shirt. Edward just opened and closed his mouth like a fish, mind suddenly blank of every coffee drink ever, including coffee.

The worker, whose name tag ironically read “Tag” saw his confusion and smiled. “It's a big menu I know. It's fall, so you can never go wrong with a PSL.” He saw Edwards look confused and he sheepishly clarified “Pumpkin spice latte.”

“I’ll do that,” Edward said, voice quiet but clear. He took a deep breath then before he could think about it blurted out “I’m Edward by the way”.

Tag gave a handsome grin and wrote the name on a cup. “Thanks, Edward, I’ll that get you out for you right away.”

Edward heard a “ding” but ignored it and the notifications that popped up as he paid on the tablet Tag turned towards him. His hands shook as he selected the largest tip options and stumbled over to the designated area to stand while waiting for a drink and looked at the notifications.

“You have reached level three. You receive attribute points based on your class: +3 Charisma, +1 Intelligence, +0.3 Strength.”

“You have gained a class perk.”

“Social Sync: You are naturally attuned to the tone and rhythm of conversation making awkward pauses and interruptions a thing of the past.”

New quests popped up as well, two this time. “Make someone laugh” and “Offer someone advice.”

As the messages appeared Edward felt the same strange pain in his face, like the soreness he sometimes got after smiling all day with Leon. He lifted a hand to his face and felt skin much smoother than his normal rough, dry, pockmarked complexion. His weak chin, which had always been a source of insecurity no longer felt totally concave but pushed out somewhat lending a strange sharpness to his jaw. Edward was about to take out his phone to examine his reflection when he heard a voice beside him.

“He’s so dreamy, isn’t he,” a man said in his right ear. All his life Edward had been painfully scrawny, wrists the size of cucumber and ribs showing through his pale skin. This man was even more slender like he could break with a strong gust of wind. He held a coffee cup that had the name Trent on the side. The guy didn't seem to mind Edwards's silence and continued staring at Tag longingly. “The coffee here is so bitter but the eye candy is so sweet” he mused.

“Yeah that guy is what I would call a full-sized candy bar” the comment came out before Edward had time to think. It was a mediocre joke, wordy and unoriginal to a fault, but to painfully shy and unfunny Edward he felt like he was a standup comedian. Trent smiled and gave a slight chuckle, though his quest remained incomplete, probably because the laugh was fake.

“He’s a Snickers, and let's just say I’m not allergic to nuts.” Edward tried again, this time eliciting a better reaction from Trent. A slight giggle was all it took for the quest to complete and Edwards' experience bar to increase half the way to level four.

“Well both of us are going to go hungry. He’s straight.”

“Really” Edward asked. As a closeted gay until he was 19, when he had finally worked up the courage to tell Leon, Edward thought he had pretty good gaydar, and that Tag guy was anything but straight. “How do you know?” He asked Social Sync perk causing him to put the perfect pause between his declaration of doubt and his question without him even noticing.

“He used to date some girl” Trent responded with a touch of disgust.

“Maybe he’s bi,” Edward said and Trent’s face lit up as if he had never considered the thought.

“Oh wow, do you really think so” He asked excitedly. “Now that you say it he is kind of flirty when he gives me my drink.”

“You should just go up and talk to him” Edward advised sagely. “I mean what is the worst that could happen.” The advice was hollow seeing as how Edward had never even breathed in the direction of any of his crushes. Trent seemed to sense this and looked at Edward dubiously. The game system however didn't seem to care. It marked his “give advice” quest as complete and alerted him he had reached level four with a ding. At this rate, Leon didn't stand a chance of reaching level ten before him.

“You have reached level four. You receive attribute points based on your class: +3 Charisma, +1 Intelligence, +0.3 Strength.”

“Sage: Your charisma gives you an innate knowledge of people's desires, both conscious and unconscious. Note: The higher your charisma the more attuned this sense becomes. Note: this effect is 92.22% more effective on people with a penis.”

Edward felt a shift both in his physiology and in his brain, like before he felt his face move, bones like continental plates drifting every so slightly apart into a more attractive configuration.

Inside his head, he felt something shift far more drastically. The three +1 boosts to his intelligence had been so slight he barely noticed them, just a slight speeding up of his thoughts and a boost to his reasoning ability. This new change in his mind was drastic, impossible not to notice. A sixth sense emerged, filling his head with a source of knowledge he wasn’t quite sure what to do with. It was almost as if he had gained the ability to read minds only not so strong and without any words, only feelings. Suddenly Edward felt Trent’s desire, a sexual one, not just for the barista, but also for the group of frat boys in the corner of the shop and strangely enough for Edward. He felt others' desires too, though much less clearly.

Two guys standing to his left both hoped the other would buy the alcohol for tonight's party. The other men in the shop only gave wisps of desire. Edward suspected that had something to do with proximity and his still relatively low charisma.

The women on the other hand Edward could barely sense, only receiving a small tingle like TV static instead of anything readable. Edward wondered at that strange 92.22% bonus towards men. Edward took a moment to reflect on the class he had been assigned. Could Leon be right? Could the name of his class be a gay joke, that he was meant to charm not venomous creatures in baskets but instead the snake in men's pants? It seemed somehow too vulgar for a video game though Edward knew that was illogical. If it was true it begged some concerning questions, like how the game had known he was gay and what exactly it was setting him up to do.

“Would you go talk to him?” Trent asked suddenly snapping Edward back to the present. His sixth sense faded to the back of his mind, though he could still sense Trent’s desire. “Sorry I know that's a lot to ask but I think you would have more luck than me.” He looked at Edward with puppy dog eyes filled with earnest hope. “Be my wingman?”

A notification appeared obscuring a part of Edward’s vision.

“Quest offered! Set up Trent and Tag romantically. Reward: XP”

A box under the quest notification had two boxes with “yes” and “no” options. Edward had no idea how to select either option. Out loud he said “I’ll do my best,” the notification disappeared and reappeared small in the quest part of his interface.

Trent smiled “Really? I can’t thank you enough.” He felt Trent’s desire shift from lust to hope. “Just like using a pickup line or something. Don’t make it too awkward” he said suddenly nervous.

“Don’t worry I got this,” Edward said with about 1000% times more confidence than he felt. He had absolutely no business getting other people's tail when he was still a virgin himself. Edward just knew he was going to make an absolute fool of himself.

It turned out that the quests to advance to level four were not as easy as Leon had imagined. The first quest “run a lap” proved exhausting but doable. Leon made his way to the elevated track that encircled the gym and with perfect form, if less perfect endurance, ran the loop. Before the game, Leon would have had to walk most of it, but the two levels and six points he had gained in strength allowed him to push through with a slow jog. The quest's completion bumped him 3/4 of the way to level four. He had no doubt the other quest would get him all the way there if only it was possible.

“Do a pull-up.” How hard could one pull up be? Extremely difficult it turned out. Dangling from the elevated bar Leon tried with all his might to heft his flabby body up. He only managed to lift his head halfway before the effort became too much and he was forced to give up.

Leon knew it wasn’t his form keeping him from completing the exercise like it had been with the push-up. Instead, it came down to a plain and simple lack of strength. Leon didn't know what to do. He felt frustrated that he had hit a roadblock so soon. He looked at the experience progress bar, so tantalizingly close to the next level. Maybe he would have to do it the old-fashioned way. Train his back and his biceps extensively until he could do a pull-up on his own. Leon knew something like that would take weeks if not months but he was nothing if not stubborn.

Determined not to give up Leon found a set of dumbbells and began to lift with perfect form. The activity didn't provide the same instant gratification as leveling up did, but Leon was starting to understand how people could get addicted to this. As he worked his eyes wandered to the graphical display imprinted on either side of his vision. He found he could unfocus on the information and the display would blur unobscuring his vision. He focused again and the quest and progress bar came back into his field of vision. Leon couldn’t tell if he was imagining it but it seemed as if the bar was more full. He did a few more curls and watched the progress bar tick up the tiniest amount. He lifted the other arm and it moved again. He grabbed the largest weight he could conceivably lift and using all this strength curled it with both arms, the progress bar moved, still not much but more than before. Leon grinned. He was pretty sure he had just found an exploit.

Thirty minutes later a tired Leon prepared for his last set of leg presses to get him to level four. The “exploit” he had found wasn’t as much of a hack as he had originally hoped. Working out gave him experience to fill the bar but not nearly as efficiently as quests. He had to go from machine to machine loading up the maximum amount of weight he could lift, not much, and completing various exercises until that part of his body was completely exhausted. His “perfect form” perk ensured that he was able to complete each exercise to its fullest despite not knowing how to do any of the exercises. All he had to do was approach a machine or a set of weights and his body would suddenly assume the position.

Even with his perfect form protecting him from injury Leon was exhausted. The day's gym session was more exercise than he had ever done in his life. His hair was matted to his forehead and dark sweat spots had appeared around the collar and pits of his Superman shirt. His body felt like a sack of bricks like he could fall asleep and not wake up till his next birthday. Leon persisted and as he performed his tenth leg press he heard a ding. His legs slammed back to their resting position and he breathed heavily, feeling his body begin to change and notifications pop up.

“You have reached level four. You receive attribute points based on your class: +3 Strength, +1 Charisma +0.3 Intelligence.”

“You have gained a class perk.”

“Animal Endurance: The rate at which athletic activities tire you is decreased significantly while the rate of recovery is greatly improved. Note: the potency of this effect scales off of strength.”

Leon felt his muscles harden, his arms bulge, his legs bulk up and shift. His core burned as his abs shredded themselves and strengthened. The layer of fat on Leon’s body, though still present thinned. Underneath it his muscles went from average to distinctly fit, no great titan yet but also not a slouch either. His weariness from all the exercise it took to reach level four drained away thanks to his perk and Leon once again felt reinvigorated.

He marched over to the nearest pull-up bar and with only a small amount of effort hoisted himself up with the power of his upper body. The completed quest brought him a third of the way up to level five. Two more quests appeared. “Bench press a third of your body weight.” And “exchange workout tips”. Neither seemed especially difficult.

Leon looked around to see if he could find Cal to knock out the more social of the quests but the helpful runner was nowhere to be seen. Instead, Leon found a benchpress machine and went to load it up. Leon was shocked to realize he had no idea what his body weight was. Before Altered Reality, Leon had weighed 230 pounds, now though he could be anything. Leon squinted at the holographic display in the sides of his vision and found with effort he was able to bring up a stats page.

Leon:

210 Pounds

5’10’’ Feet

Strength: 11

Charisma: 7

Intelligence: 8.9

When he played video games with his roommates Alvis was the one who focused on the numbers, min-maxing his character to be the strongest possible. Edward liked to talk to the NPCs, to understand the story, and Leon, well Leon liked to punch things and not worry too much about the boring stuff. Still, with his 8.9 in intelligence, Leon couldn't help but notice some changes to his body composition. There was the inch in height his body had gained from those three levels and the twenty pounds of weight he had lost. Leon suspected the total loss was more like 30 or 40 pounds of fat but that the added muscle made up the difference. His stats were interesting too. Leon hadn’t much thought about it but based on the quests and perks he had received the Juggernaut class seemed to be one that focused on athleticism. Despite that, he still received a marginal boost to charisma and intelligence at each level which he supposed were meant to keep him well rounded. Leon did the math, the current numbers would mean that his intelligence before the game had been eight, which seemed right, and his strength a two, also unfortunately right. The four in charisma seemed rude, but Leon supposed he had never had much luck with women for a reason.

Doing math once again Leon loaded up the bench press, factoring in the weight of the bar to reach seventy pounds one-third of his weight. He assumed the position under it, with perfect form thanks to his perk; then with substantial effort, Leon lifted the bar over his chest and with as much control as he could manage lowered it. That was the easy part, the hard part was pushing it back up. Leon clenched his toes, bugged his eyes, and pushed with all his eleven strength upward. His mind suddenly flashed to the bar crushing him, rolling down onto his neck and ending this game. Panic more than determination got the bar up and back to its starting position. The quest was completed and the progress bar to level five was filled in another third.

Only once the bar was fully returned to its resting position could Leon see the girl standing over him, upside down from his prone view.

“I was ready to pull that thing off you.” The girl said in something between a mix of condescension and admiration. Leon sat up.

“Umm, thanks.” He said nervously. He recognized this girl from his advanced biology seminar, although she didn't seem to know him. She looked very pretty with her high ponytail and tight yoga pants, which only made his voice stutter more. “I’m Leon.”

“Cassy,” she said.

An idea came to his mind. “Got any tips for this one?” Leon asked, hoping to knock out his remaining quest.

Before Cassy could answer though a tall man in a low-cut tank top that showed off his ripped torso and cannonball shoulders approached and wrapped his mammoth vascular arms around her. “Cassy, why the fuck are you talking to this fatty?” He asked as if Leon were some flaming garbage outside his window, offensive to his sight. Leon recognized him as a member of Alpha Sigma, one of the best and most dickish fraternities on campus.

“Fuck off Hunter” Cassy said rolling her eyes.

“Yeah fuck off Hunter” Leon repeated. He instantly regretted it.

Hunter's eyes went wide, and a vein on his neck began to pulse. Leon stared back at him with a level of defiance he knew defied both the social order and logic. Leon had always been brash, a trait now manifested in full force by the extreme comfort he felt in the gym due to his Gym Rat perk.

Cassy shot him a look asking if he was trying to get himself killed then turned to Hunter to defuse the situation. “Come on babe let's go.”

Hunter heard none of it. He got right up in Leon's face so close Leon could smell the sweat on his body and the ZYN in his breath. “Listen here tubby, this is a gym. The McDonalds is down the street. Now fuck off or I’ll turn your happy meal into chicken tenders. Ya hear?” He stood up and started to walk away Cassy unhappily following after him. “And don’t ever talk to my girl again homo.”

Leon knew he should be scared but instead, he found the whole interaction funny, his “Gym Rat” perk really might be working too well. “Got any gym tips for me” he called after Hunter, wanting to still get something out of the interaction. He couldn’t wait till he was bigger than that arrogant prick and no one could talk to him that way.

The frat bro turned around “Eat a fucking salad” he called. Leon’s last quest remained incomplete. He wondered why for a second then realized it said “exchange workout tips.”

“You should really get off the roids, it's killing the last two of your brain cells,” Leon called after him. Hunter moved to turn around, probably to beat the shit out of Leon but Cassy grabbed his hand and dragged him away. The quest completed and Leon reached level five. Not too bad for seven charisma he thought proudly. The now familiar ding sounded along with a wall of notifications. Leon began to feel strange. A biting ache began to thrum in the pit of his stomach. Doubled over Leon rushed to the bathroom, careful to head in in the opposite direction of Hunter and Cassy.

He burst into the empty men's room and then into the nearest stall he could find. As he sat on the toilet the pain intensified. Something was happening and it hurt like all hell.

Edward had no idea why Trent had even started talking to him. That wasn’t something people ever did to ugly Edward, maybe point and whisper, but never strike up a conversation and surly never ask him for help. It must be his stupid charisma and perks scrambling everyone's brain he concluded. Edward was about to turn back to Trent and tell him he had made a mistake and that he actually couldn’t help him when he heard “Edward” yell from behind the bar. He saw Tag the sexy fit barista holding a steaming to-go cup and looking around the coffee shop for Edward. Trent gave him an encouraging smile and a thumbs up.

Edward felt as if he was moving in slow motion like he was making his way to the gallows. Tag saw him coming and smiled, extending the drink towards him. Edward reached out to take the drink, his finger ever so slightly brushing up against Tag’s hand in the process. He wasn’t sure if it was the touch or just the proximity but he felt his new “Sage” perk activate in vivid detail.

A picture suddenly flashed in Edward’s mind. A subterranean location full of flashing lights and loud rhythmic music, a rave Edward realized. He saw Tag standing alone in an open button-down shirt showing off sexy tattooed muscles. Edward flashed back to reality. His sudden vision had caused him to linger a bit too long grabbing his drink and he jerked his hand away awkwardly.

Edward retracted his hand and gave a smile hoping to save the moment. “Hey, are you going to the rave tonight?” Edward asked as casually as he could “I think I have seen you at a few before. I heard the one tonight is supposed to be especially hype.”

Tag seemed surprised for a moment then reassessed Edward his demeanor shifting from customer service friendly, to peer in-group easygoing. “You mean sewer fest? I want to man, but all my friends are busy tonight and I don’t want to go alone.”

“Oh damn that sucks,” Edward said. He was mindful of the stares he was getting from the other students around him but couldn’t bring himself to care, this was going too well. “I wish I could go but I have a paper I have to write tonight. My friend Trent was actually just saying he was thinking about going though.” Edward pointed back at Trent who gave a little wave.

“Oh, I know him.” Tag said when he saw Trent. “That would be sick man. I really don’t want to miss Sewer Fest. How about this,” he took a cup sleeve and started to write on it, “Give your friend my number and tell him to text me” he handed it to Edward.

“Will do. You two have fun” Edward said as he walked away. Trent looked at him wide-eyed and was about to say something but Edward made a signal that they shouldn’t talk about it inside.

“This is for you,” Edward said as he handed Trent Tag’s number once they were outside.

“No way. You're actually a god. How did you do that?” Trent asked amazed.

“Don’t get too excited,” Edward said sheepishly. “You're going to a rave, and it’s in the sewer.”

“A rave? You know what, I’ll take it. I really can’t thank you enough.”

“Oh, it was nothing. Honestly, you helped me just as much as I helped you.”

Trent ignored the cryptic comment. “Well I should go, I guess I have to find an outfit to wear to a sewer. Would all white be a bad idea?” He handed Edward his phone. “Will you put your number in my phone? I’ll text you how tonight goes.”

The two exchanged information then Trent left. Edward stood there sipping his latte, which really was too bitter. He saw Trent typing out a message on his phone as he walked away.

Moments later Edward heard a “ding” as the quest was completed and he reached level five. Notifications sprung up in his vision, more than usual. Edward couldn’t read them, he couldn’t focus on anything. His mostly full coffee slipped out of his hand and spilled onto the ground as a golden nebula sprung up around him and his face and body were wracked with pain. He started to scream.

#male tf #male transformation #musclegrowth #tf #ai image #reality change

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kaasiand · 3 days ago

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What's up with the 3ds grudge?

Basically the 3DS tried to be too many conflicting things at once, and ended up being a bad DS as a result. It's... fine... in its own right (minus the poor audio) but a lot of what worked strongly on DS just took so much of a back seat here, in favour of Trying To Be The Handheld That Doesn't Want To Be A Handheld. If someone ever made another DS, they should iterate on the original DS, rather than continue where the 3DS left off.

Screens have different dimensions (both in the sense of resolution and in the 2D/3D sense), meaning anything cool that the DS could do by swapping the screens or making them form one long screen, was a lot more awkward to pull on 3DS. Don't even think about holding it sideways (like a book or the Mario Bros. game & watch) if you want to use the 3D feature.

On DS, games had a choice in their design (to put the gameplay on the top or bottom screen) since the screens were basically identical except for touch, but the 3DS basically pushed for everything to be on the top screen (that's the bigger screen and that's where the 3D is!). The touchscreen often felt neglected, or only there because "they had to" (= the DS had a bottom screen and this thing needed to play those games too so we keep a bottom screen here too).

It also felt like the 3DS wanted way more games that tried to be full 3D home console games except crammed onto a handheld (the switch does this better by... actually being a home console) like it didn't want to be a real handheld at all. Turning the system on and off was also slow as hell and so it takes longer to actually get to your game (same problem the wii u had).

It also moved the dpad into an awkward spot where it makes DS games feel worse to play on it, and tried to make the circle pad essentially a replacement of the dpad, when the two excel at different things and should not be treated as a direct up/downgrade of the other. Metroid: Samus Returns for example feels genuinely awful to control with the circle pad imo and while Dread made the stick movement feel a lot smoother I really don't like that the 3DS kinda killed dpad controls for 2D nintendo games. The controls are also no longer symmetrical, so anything the DS could mirror for left-handed controls would work worse on 3DS.

Also I just kinda personally prefer the more pixely and crunchier feel of DS sprites, fonts, models and compressed textures. 3DS doesn't hit the same and instead only has low quality audio that I never want to listen to and a screen that funnily enough looks more crisp when held the wrong way.

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coralinnii · 1 year ago

Text

❋ Crushing on a game character ❋ ↳ bonus: he kinda reminds you of your bf feat ⎸Leona ⭑ Azul ⭑ Jack ⭑ Kalim genre ⎸fluff, humour note ⎸no pronouns used with reader, established relationships, reader is kinda oblivious and scatterbrained.

part one

Ugghh, the disgusted looks this man would give. Stop, I can’t handle the judgemental stares!

Jokes aside, Leona’s not really going to care too much. It’s your life so you can like whatever you want so long as it doesn’t bother him.

He may look like he isn’t listening to you as you gush about your ult fav, but he’s listening enough to get the gist of this fictional character that seems to capture your attention.

“He sounds like a real jerk. You got some weird taste”

“He’s actually a good guy, I swear!”

“Well, for a good guy he sure acts like an as-“

Am I getting too meta on this?

Despite his supposed indifference, he pays enough attention to notice some similarities appearance-wise between him and your favorite character and of course he had to point it out at any given chance.

“Can’t get your mind off of me, can ya?”

He can sleep through your gaming and your giggling well enough, and at the end of the day he’s the one that gets to have you in his arms as you fall asleep after a long gaming session.

But soon, you started buying some merch. At first, it was just some photo cards and keychains so it’s nothing too crazy. He almost can’t believe that people would actually spend time and money collecting those kinds of things. But when he realized that he could quell your anger a lot better now by handing you merch he made Ruggie get, he can’t complain about an easy out.

Then the bigger stuff started coming in, and Leona starts to notice that this fictional bastard is taking more than just space in your phone. He doesn’t like sharing what’s his, fictional or not.

“You can’t be serious”

Your lips curled into a pout as you glanced back at your new purchase that somehow offended Leona for some reason. “What? It looks cool, doesn’t it?”

Leona doesn’t agree as he stood face to face with the monstrosity sitting on your desk.

A giant figurine of a certain character he’s starting to think he’s seeing way too much of.

It was a detailed piece with decor and props surrounding the character, showing off more of its 3D splendor. The smug expression on the figure, regardless if simply painted on, made Leona growled under his breath as it rubbed him the wrong way.

Your beastman boyfriend was waiting for you in his bedroom when the school day was done, expecting some quality time with his mate. Instead, he was practically left forgotten when you heard that a package was dropped off for you and you were excited to unbox your long-awaited splurge. Leona finally got your attention when he unceremoniously burst through your bedroom doors to find you rearranging your desk to fit your new figure.

“The damn thing is takin’ up your whole desk,” Leona sneered down at the piece of clay as though it offended his honor. “And it’s ugly as hell”

“How dare you! He’s a masterpiece!” Leona felt a vein tense on his forehead. Did you really have to call it a he? “Besides, I still have space on my desk and just looking at him while I study relaxes me”

As if to prove your point, you bent down to gaze at your new figure and a fond smile immediately found its place on your face. You playfully tapped the top of your character’s head, giddy as you took in the well-crafted design of the model.

Leona on the other hand, can only feel a headache forming as he has to watch his lover go gaga over a cheap piece of clay (cheap to him, maybe!). It’s one thing to have your attention away from him when you're gaming, but he’s not gonna fight with a freaking toy for your loving looks outside of that. He’s the boyfriend here.

You felt yourself pulled back by your collar, making you fall backwards unceremoniously onto your bed. You wanted to get up but Leona immediately joined you, trapping you as he laid his body atop of you, wrapping both his arms and his tail to keep you in his hold. He didn’t say anything but you could see his flattened ears and a sour expression across his face.

“Do you really not like it?” You asked him, carefully caressing his head in hopes to ease his tense ears. Leona tried to ignore your question but one glance at your worried look just wouldn’t let him.

“It’s fine… now stop talkin’ and just sleep already.” Quickly snuffing the conversation, Leona pulled you close to rest his head on you, being lulled by your heartbeat. Leona isn’t gonna tell you to stop if you really like this stuff, but his time with you is not negotiable.

His first thought was how obsessi- I mean passionate you must be.

Though, having been around Idia and even Jade long enough, Azul wouldn’t be that surprised as he assumed that this sort of infatuation with such a trivial thing is not something uncommon. Not something he would do but not surprised if you have something you like to such an extent.

Azul would be curious and have many questions about your fixation. What’s enticing you so? How is it addicting for you? How can he possibly market on this-

Being a doting partner, Azul would let you play your game in his office while he works on some paperwork. But Azul would secretly listen to you as you gush about the game and your favorite character.

And I mean, ACTUALLY listen. He remembers your expressions as you ramble about that character’s favorite food or how good he looks in his new “skin” as you call it. He’s very attentive and he does find your goofy smiling very cute.

But if this goes on, Azul might start to get worried. Is this character perhaps your ideal type all along? This suave and admittedly well-designed game character better suits your fancy than anything or anyone else.

Azul would start comparing himself to this fictional character and wondered…is that who you wanted?

You were starting to worry about your boyfriend so you made your way to his office. He seemed to be a lot busier lately and you noticed there were more papers on his desk than the usual contracts and bills. However, whenever you near him Azul was quick to hide certain things on his desk from your sight which you tried to convince yourself that something like that should be expected considering the confidential documents he may have as an owner of an establishment. But the way he forces a tight-lipped smile when he does so…it leads your mind to upsetting thoughts.

Working to dispel those thoughts, you knocked on his door but there was no response. That was strange since Jade assured you that the Housewarden was in his office and Azul would always respond back from beyond the door.

Your worries deepened, you carefully opened the door just slightly in case Azul was actually preoccupied with a client. Thankfully, you saw no one on the guest seats and when you pushed the door further, you noticed your fair-haired boyfriend slouched in his seat pouring over some papers, mumbling to himself.

“Azul?”

Your voice startled the merman as he flinched out from his trance, his hands accidentally scattering his papers off his desk and close to your feet.

“Ah no, wait!” Azul yelled in panic but you already took a good look at what was printed on the sheets of paper.

It was your current favorite from the game you’ve been playing, with facts taken from the game lore as well as from fan theories. There were also pictures of his CGs with special dialogues catered to the players.

Upon closer inspection, you soon noticed written memos and certain sections highlighted on these fact sheets, all in Azul’s intricate handwriting.

Light-colored attire… prince-like aesthetic

Skilled with swords…athletic appeal?

Potential date sites? Food-sharing ideas….Hand-holding opportunities…

Littered all over the papers were scribbles as such which made you initially assume that it was for research purposes only. However, between these notes were details about you which made you rethink that assumption.

You saw your personal interests, your food preferences, whether you would enjoy such date scenarios. Notes pondering if you would enjoy such a thing or if you find this attractive on Azul.

Your boyfriend must have gone through so many websites, forums, and postings to find this much information without playing the game. Heck, you recognized some of these CGs from mini events that weren’t promoted as much as others. All this detailed research…you smiled at how adorably Azul-like of him.

Azul eventually built his courage to break the awkward silence. “I can explain, my dear”

You raised your brow but nodded. “Ok”

“I became intrigued by your fixation of this game and decided on checking on myself the appeals of this game” Azul pushed his glasses to cover his nervous countenance. “I must say, I am quite impressed with the details this company puts into their characters. Perhaps I can find some way to implement these elements into Mostro Lounge as a limited time event”

You couldn't help but chuckle seeing Azul trying to compose himself, but the flushing of his pale skin betrays him. “I see. Well needless to say, I agree with your thoughts from what I can see, especially the date scenarios”

Your tease successfully flustered your Azul even more, but you want to fluster your cute lover further “While I do like the aesthetic of the handsome, princely type…”

Azul watched you approach him at his desk, wary of the cheeky look on your face. Smiling, you proceeded to surprise him with a kiss on his face, teasingly close to his beauty mark.

“…I like the very cute and clever merman better”

How skilled you are to turn an octopus boiling red without fire.

Very confused. He understands that people have their own preferences and interests but he’s just…so, so confused.

He supports you and your passions but you will have to explain the concepts like “simping” and “biases” to him. Very much a normie, but a supportive one.

He makes sure that you balance your gaming life with your personal life, which means no late night gaming, no 3AM game check-ins, and he paces your grinding sessions with breaks.

We don’t deserve him

He would notice that your favorite character seems to be a beastman like him, but doesn’t connect the reason why you would be so infatuated with this silent wolf-like character in particular.

Such a coincidence they look similar to each other, huh…

He would chastise you if you get too absorbed into the game but he does respect your dedication and your gaming knowledge.

If you offer, he wouldn’t mind trying out the game you love so much just so he can understand your interest better.

“Ughh, I lost”

You laughed as you watched your tall boyfriend groan, ruffling his hair in frustration. Jack decided to finally try out your new obsession and after a quick crash-course explanation from you, Jack tried his hand at the battle portion of the game. It ended unfortunately in his defeat as all his players died and the screen on your phone darkened.

“You were really good for your first time, though” you tried to cheer him up. “Sometimes it just comes down to luck”

You could tell however that Jack was still bummed about his loss, his tail slowly flicking around and his ears flattening on his head.

“This is actually pretty tough” Jack grumbled under his breath, not realizing how complicated the game mechanics were. “I always thought you were amazing with how good you were at this game but wow…”

“This man, complimenting me like it’s nothing…”

Trying to cover your flustered expression, you crawled over to your boyfriend who was currently sitting down. Gently, you pushed his arms in order to climb onto his lap, your back resting against his chest which flinched upon your touch. You took back your phone from Jack’s hands.

“Here, I’ll show you some stuff to boost your chances” you looked to your boyfriend, who went suspiciously quiet…quieter than usual. “Jack?”

You could feel how Jack immediately stiffened at his name before he slightly yelled out his response “Right, got it!”

Stifling your laugh, you made yourself comfortable as you continued with your gaming. Although, you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling when you felt a pair of muscular arms wrapping around your waist, and a fluffy tail resting on your legs.

Another clueless but supportive partner.

Kalim’s really glad you have something you really love and is happy to hear you talk for hours about anything and everything related to the game and your favorite game character.

“He can do that? Wow!” “What? That’s such a sad story, poor guy!”

He understands why you would like this character, seeing how jovial and sweet-natured your ult fav seem to be.

“What a real nice guy, you must really like these types of guys, huh?”

“Yea…guess I do”

He’ll go to conventions with you, even wait in long lines with you, and listen to fan theories while not understanding a single thing, all because seeing you so happy is worth it.

You will have to be the one with self-control because the moment Kalim finds out there’s merch out there, he’s buying them without hesitation.

Even the less…subtle merchandise out there

“Kalim…where did you get this?”

“Do you like it? I saw this while searching for stuff you might like”

You questioned what Kalim thought of you if he assumed that this would be something you like, because you’re faced with a large body pillow of your bias character laying on your bed, with your boyfriend joyously showing it off. The picture printed on the cover showcased your favorite character in a cute pose, which you were honestly grateful for because you wouldn’t know the best reaction to have if Kalim bought a less than school-friendly image.

“It’s…wow” despite the insanity of the situation, you started to smile in amusing absurdity “I mean…I never thought I would have the chance to hold a body pillow, let alone have a cute looking one”

Kalim, oblivious as ever, grinned as he assumed you were happy with his purchase “Right?! I heard from some people at the convention that pillows like these were really popular!”

Ah, so that’s where he learned about this side of the fandom. Kalim is such an easy guy to talk with so he would occasionally start conversations with other convention attendees despite being a “normie”, so to speak.

“I managed to get one commissioned with the fluffiest pillow I could get.” Grabbing the pillow, Kalim proudly held it out in front of you. “Here, feel it!”

You did what your boyfriend asked, and your eyes widened at luxurious sensations under your fingertips. “Holy crap, this is so soft! And the picture quality is super good too”

Any experience or expectations you had about body pillows is now blown out of the park as you can’t imagine anything ever beating the softness and quality of this body pillow. Heck, your regular pillows can’t be compared to the feeling of heaven you’re feeling.

Kalim grinned at you, satisfaction and joy clear on his cute face. Gently, the tanned man pulled you onto your bed, making you lay onto the mattress with your boyfriend and your new body pillow. Wrapping his arms around you, you were now sleeping between the Housewarden and your printed-out ult bias.

“See, even if I can’t be here, you still have something with you when you’re tired” Kalim’s ruby eyes shined with affection. “Though I don’t ever want to leave your side, I wanna make sure you’re never alone even if I can’t be with you”

Internally screaming, you swore to protect this cinnamon roll.

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taffywabbit · 24 days ago

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oops i accidentally wrote a review for zelda II: the adventure of link

(originally posted to Cohost on Feb 22, 2024. you can ignore this if you want, i just wanted it archived somewhere before that site disappears)

Finally beat Zelda II for the first time last night (I forced myself to finish it before starting Splatoon 3's Side Order DLC, because I knew if I didn't push through to the end of the Great Palace THIS time then it'd be years before I tried beating it again. This is probably my 4th or 5th attempt at this point). Not that this is a particularly hot take by most people's standards, but I don't think it's all that good, at least from a gameplay standpoint.

I don't regret playing it though, because I think I'm finally able to put my finger on the stuff I actually disliked about it vs the stuff that was honestly fine, or even (very rarely) actually good? I'm kinda fascinated by it, honestly. Sequels where they immediately screw around with the first game's formula (to mixed results) are neat! FE Gaiden is another example that comes to mind (hey they should give Zelda II the Shadows of Valentia treatment, that could be really cool actually).

Obviously Zelda II has a reputation for being kind of a rough experience. It's an NES game, and NES games are often susceptible to being frustrating, buggy, hard to control, or overly punishing. Sometimes, all of the above! And for what it's worth, the original Legend of Zelda was a tough and sometimes very cryptic experience as well. But I feel like the two games are challenging in drastically different ways, and I think TLoZ ended up being the formula that was retained in the long term primarily because its method of challenging the player overall did a better job of inspiring curiosity and exploration. Despite narratively being a direct sequel (with a really badass story premise that is unfortunately not really conveyed at all in-game) Zelda II took a different approach to nearly every element of the original's gameplay, which is a pretty bold move I suppose. Whether or not it succeeds at anything is fairly subjective, but it's undeniably had a lasting impact on the series, as well as the people who grew up with it (and then they went on to make some really excellent mid-2000's flash games inspired by it that I frankly enjoyed a lot more than this... and also a weirdly solid licensed Adventure Time game on the 3DS? I should go back and play that sometime, it's really fun).

Where to start with this...? Uhhh, the EXP-based leveling system where you choose what stats to put your points into is interesting! It creates a risk-and-reward system for fighting enemies instead of avoiding them, whereas in most other Zelda games besides BotW/TotK, the only reward for killing monsters is "they are no longer bothering you while you solve puzzles, and also sometimes they drop rupees/hearts/ammo". It also introduces a bit more player choice in what areas you'd like to get stronger in first, which is cool! I just wish it actually mattered in a way that let you feel powerful for even a moment. Instead, leveling Life (which is functionally just defense) is never enough to actually make you feel like you can afford to take a hit - the expectation seems to be that leveling Attack, Life, and Magic is something you do purely to keep up with how badly every single thing in this game wants to stomp you into the ground and soak up a million hits and waste all your magic. You CAN skip out on leveling one stat to prioritize another, or even try to evade tough combat situations entirely, but if you aren't leveled enough and in the exact things the game expects you to be WHEN it expects you to be, you'll immediately bump into some new asshole who jumps out of nowhere and can cut you down in 2-3 hits. Leveling doesn't make you tangibly stronger, it merely keeps the game barely playable.

This actually ends up being the core problem I have with Zelda II's design, far more than just the combat being clunky and overly punishing or the levels being visually samey and super hard to navigate. In most Zelda games (and also in a lot of other RPGs!), you get a better sword or a new power or item, and it opens up exciting new options for both exploration and combat. In Zelda II, you level up or earn a new item/spell, it's useful for maybe 20-30 minutes, and then it's immediately nullified. Wow, you got the Fire spell! Now you can finally deal with Tektites and Basilisks (which are immune to all other attacks) on the way to the next area! Well, I hope you had fun with that, because Fire doesn't work on most things you run into afterwards.

Easily the biggest game-changer is when you unlock the Downward Thrust sword technique, and finally have another option for combat besides just crouch-hopping and poking monsters with a dull butter knife. It's satisfying to use, it looks cool (by this game's standards), and it even has some utility for crossing hazards or defending yourself against swooping enemies! Cool! Unfortunately, they don't let you play around with that for long either, before nearly every enemy you see starts rolling up with helmets or shells that make them immune to attacks from above, and you never really get anything like that again (the Upward Thrust exists later, but it's far more situational and frankly not very fun or intuitive to use). Rather than feeling like you're being given tools to overcome challenges and stay above the difficulty curve, it feels like you're constantly just slightly underequipped for everything (even if you grind to earn extra stat levels) and any edge you're given is swiftly taken away from you. (Except the Reflect spell, which is ALWAYS a banger after you get it because it makes your shield Actually Do Its Damn Job after nearly every enemy starts shooting projectiles you can't block. Good work, Reflect spell.)

I feel like I grew up hearing plenty of people talk about the overall difficulty of Zelda II, though most of the complaints about its puzzles were surface-level jabs about the short cryptic NPC text, and none of that prepared me for just how ridiculously obtuse its mandatory puzzles/secrets can be. I genuinely have no idea how anyone would EVER find the Life spell - pretty much your ONLY source of healing outside of towns, since there are no hearts to pick up in this game - without some kind of guide. I was FURIOUS when I finally looked up where to find that lady's mirror and discovered that you have to walk into one of the houses, go over to the table that looks EXACTLY like every other table in every other house in the entirety of Hyrule, crouch, and press B, and you'll just pull the mirror out of nowhere. This type of interaction does not exist ANYWHERE else in the game and there's no in-game hint to indicate that you should try this. Absolutely maddening.

This and its predecessor are both games that seemingly expect you to have the physical manual on hand to help you find secrets, but at least in the first game, the way the game was designed was consistent enough that you COULD feasibly find your way to the end of it without a guide. Bombable walls in dungeons always being located in the center, things like that. It had rules and it could generally be trusted to follow them. Zelda II, in comparison, has a final level (the Great Palace) in which there are numerous rooms that look IDENTICAL and if you make one wrong turn you can go through the entire [very difficult and dangerous] dungeon on a path parallel to the one you need to be on, only to hit a dead end and be able to see the spot you're supposed to be reaching on the other side of a wall. Except you would also never KNOW you need to get there, because it looks like another dead end full of monsters but there's actually a completely invisible hole somewhere in the floor over there that drops you into the hallway leading towards the final boss. Also there is no map. TLoZ had a map. I don't know why this game doesn't have a map. Possibly because if you try to look up maps online, most of the dungeons feature non-Euclidean spaces? Idk, even a Super Metroid-style grid map would've done wonders here.

The combat is... fine? I truly don't understand how anyone thinks it's GREAT though. Zelda II is kind of like a version of Castlevania where you don't have a whip and instead have to stab everything at extremely short range, and also sometimes enemies have shields so you have to crouch sometimes to stop them from blocking you. It feels tense and high-stakes but only because, as I mentioned earlier, you really cannot afford to take stray hits in this game. Most enemies chew through your health at an alarming rate, even with the Shield spell active, and there's almost no way to replenish it unless you use a Life spell (which costs a huge chunk of your magic, possibly softlocking you if you end up in a place that requires other spells to progress). I got better at the combat over the course of my playthrough, but I never felt like I got good at it - most of my victories against strong enemies felt like pure luck and there were rarely consistent strategies for success. All of this combined with the fact that Zelda II has limited lives (and I mean LIMITED - there are only six 1-UPs in the entire game, which can each only be collected once) and getting a Game Over anywhere outside of the final palace will send you all the way back to the starting area, and it makes for an incredibly stressful experience. Even making use of savestates to lighten the fear of death can only do so much to improve it.

Overall, I think that Zelda II is a game that has a lot of really promising ideas, but then just absolutely flops when it comes to the execution. I didn't have a better way of organizing these but here are a few examples of elements I DID particularly like, even if they didn't always stick the landing:

I like the idea of the RPG leveling system in theory, but wish it was more empowering in practice and actually let the player make meaningful choices instead of just being required to survive. Choosing to hold off on a Life upgrade and instead save up just a little longer to boost your Attack feels awesome, until you time one of your inputs wrong and get destroyed. In a game with better-tuned difficulty and combat, this system would be great!

I REALLY like that Zelda II introduced a magic system to the series! I think it's cool as hell to have Link learning and casting spells to protect himself, solve puzzles, and exploit enemy weaknesses, instead of relying purely on items. (It's honestly weird to think that a system I associate so strongly with classic Zelda gameplay has only actually showed up in 4 of the games?? I guess you could consider the runes/hand abilities in BotW/TotK to be kind of like modern spells, or the slowly-refilling energy gauge in ALBW to be the most recent iteration of a Magic Meter, but both are highly debatable. Anyways I just think they should let Link shapeshift into a fairy again, that was cool.) But most of the spells in this are fairly situational and your access to magic refills is so limited that you rarely have the freedom to experiment with the spells' secondary functions (hey did you know the Spell spell turns most enemy types into slimes? that's wild. I wish I'd known that sooner).

The overworld functioning like a traditional JRPG, with top-down exploration broken up by semi-random enemy encounters, was something I honestly didn't hate. It's a little weird for Zelda, sure, but I could see it working well to support other systems in a more polished game. Overworld encounters that switch you into a type of gameplay other than turn-based JRPG combat are something I've always been fascinated by!

Anyways, weird game! I'm glad I finally got closure so I could figure out how I personally feel about it, independent of whatever the random youtubers I watched as a teenager thought. And now I never have to play it again :)

#buny text #cohost archive #Zelda II: The Adventure of Link #the suggested tags on cohost reminded me that people have made fan remakes of this #and left me wondering why i didn't just play one of those instead lol

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weirdmarioenemies · 5 months ago

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Name: Toad's Turnpike Debut: Mario Kart 64

Ah, Mario Kart 64, an iconic game for many reasons. It was the first 3D Mario Kart game, the first game to feature the Spiny Shell, the first Mario Kart where you could select Wario, and also the first good Mario Kart game! Or maybe it also sucks, and I'm just blinded by nostalgia. It is the first game I ever played.

While Mario Kart 64 featured many of the same course themes as Super Mario Kart, it also introduced a handful of new ones into the fold, like "busy highway!" Toad's Turnpike is the first course in the Mario Kart series where you have to dodge traffic. Now, holding a go-kart race on an active road might seem dangerous, but thankfully, having gotten my license earlier this year, I learned that driving on a road is what you're supposed to do, so it's probably fine.

What's NOT fine however, is driving against the flow of traffic! In Mario Kart 64, Toad's Turnpike is infamous for its Mirror Mode layout, where not only is the layout of the course mirrored, but the cars will move in the opposite direction as well! The penalty for crashing into a car is pretty severe in this game, and combined with the brutal CPUs who love to cheat, Mirror Mode Toad's Turnpike ends up being a very difficult race.

The Mirror Mode variant ties into a mechanic in Mario Kart 64 where the speed of cars will change depending on the cc. Are you late on the commute to work? Too bad! Toad has declared that he's doing a 50cc race today, and as the owner of this turnpike, you BETTER abide by his speed limit...!

But why are you commuting on Toad's Turnpike in the first place?! This road just loops back in on itself, with nowhere to get off! Heck, there's nowhere to get on, really, either. I have no idea how you or anyone else got into such a precarious situation. This is true of nearly every traffic course (besides Mushroom City), but this post isn't about any of those.

But what if I told you the cars may not be real cars at all...? You see, in Mario Kart 64, the cars on this course have no hit detection with anything besides the player. Items will pass straight through them, and so will any racer that's currently in a star. Is it possible these cars... are GHOSTS...? Jeepers! It would seem that after being trapped on this road for so long, that all the cars died off, and now nothing but phantoms remain...

You can still crash into phantom cars though, so be careful while driving.

It would seem that Mayor Toad of Toad City thought that something had to be done about his turnpike's ghost problem, so in the time between Mario Kart 64 and Mario Kart 8, he had a service station built on the side of the road. This must have worked out big time, as the cars have proper hit detection now! Hooray for necromancy!

Mayor Toad did not, however, pour any funds into building roads in and out of Toad's Turnpike. In fact, he turned the starting line into a toll gate, meaning not only are you trapped on Toad's Turnpike, but you have to pay for every lap you drive! The course was also scaled down quite a bit, meaning you'll be passing the starting line much more often. Clearly, the government of Toad City is very corrupt.

I guess this is my segue into talking about the Mario Kart 8 version of this course, huh? If I'm being honest, I don't like this version of the course nearly as much! But it's not really for anything that has to do with the gameplay...

Sure, it's disappointing that Mirror Mode no longer reverses the flow of traffic. Sure, the anti-gravity walls feel shoehorned in and kind of defeat the purpose of the course. Sure, the road being widened and the track being scaled down makes the cars much easier to dodge, and getting hit is much less impactful than before.

But none of those things really bother me. I mean, they added cars with glider ramps and whatnot! It's definitely easier than the N64 version, but I do think it gains some from its more dynamic elements. But you see, the reason I don't like the Mario Kart 8 version of Toad's Turnpike is because of a much more egrigious sin:

The vibes are off.

You see, the thing I love the most about Toad's Turnpike in Mario Kart 64 is the atmosphere. You know I'm a sucker for good atmosphere! It affected a few placements in those Galaxy rankings I haven't touched in like a year! But yeah, between the late sunset skybox, the excellent music, and the remote feeling of it all, Toad's Turnpike in Mario Kart 64 is a course with A+ vibes. Between that and its unique obstacles, it becomes a highlight of the game for me despite a pretty bland layout.

With Mario Kart 8's version, the time of day was shifted from the late evening to the middle of the night, the music was given a new arrangement that's much more energetic, and the course was reimagined as being in the middle of a big city. I definitely get what they were going for—the big city theming fits the highway environment, and it definitely feels more fitting for a fast-paced racing game. But to me at least, the relaxing evening drive feeling of Toad's Turnpike is a lot of what I loved about the original, and I feel like that was ultimately lost in the remake.

Despite my complaining, I find it important to emphasize that change is not an inherently bad thing! It's good to appreciate the things in our past, sure, but nostalgia can be a prison of our own making! People who refuse to accept change often end up like the Old Norm, grumbling about pronouns and rainbow beer. Heck, Rainbow Road is another course with great vibes from Mario Kart 64 that got a massive aesthetic overhaul in Mario Kart 8, and I love how they handled that remake! Sometimes you just gotta learn to appreciate the new and the old on their own merits.

With that out of the way, the changes made to Toad's Turnpike were bad and I don't like them. They totally should've kept the sunset.

#toad's turnpike #mario kart #mario kart 64 #mario kart 8 #weird mario locations #mod hooligon #sorry i'm not doing a postcard this time #hopefully the kinopio highway image is postcard enough

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punkitt-is-here · 2 years ago

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im a huge sucker for Real Time Combat but I will never get behind thinking its the natural evolution of Turn Based Combat. What!! these are different styles!!! i genuinely think the turn based influence is explicitly what MAKES FF7s real time combat INCREDIBLE for me. without it, it would be just a kind-of mid action game.

FF16 just has me thinking about that and it kind of reminds me of how we had a 2D platformer drought for a while because of 3D being seen as inherently better but we've ALREADY gone through the whole loop of realizing these are two different styles with pros and cons to those. The thought that goes into designing both styles vary greatly and they both accomplish different things.

like, being able to just mash X and kill a guy in real time is not inherently better than carefully strategizing and experimenting to kill a guy in a couple turns!! these are two unique stances in gameplay with strengths and weaknesses and its weird to see one treated as better. and i admit, im a fucking sucker for real time, i like at least some real time elements in most game's combat, but i think FF7R's combat is incredible BECAUSE it's not just purely real-time. You can swap around, go through menus, plan stuff!! its such a cool synthesis!! Real Time Combat can offer the thrill of really BEING in combat, dodging and weaving, getting gritty with your foe, but Turn Based allows you to strategize and plan and have MUCH easier access to a potentially HUGE arsenal of moves without having to fiddle with menus while you're scrambling to avoid getting hit. These styles are different and can bring a lot to the other, but acting like one is somehow better beyond just preference is very silly to me.

When you play a game with turn-based combat that sucks, know that it's probably because the balancing/design itself is not fun, not the actual genre. Super Lesbian Animal RPG has no real-time elements at all in combat, but it's some of the most engaging and fun and well-balanced turn-based combat I've had the pleasure of experiencing. And it has a deep focus on teamwork and friendship, and I think that's genuinely very hard to instill in Real-Time games because the player is forced to control only one character at a time in linear, progressively flowing time. I love KHII, but it rarely feels like you're working together because aside from your Limit attacks, you can't really collaborate with your party members or strategize. It's still a FANTASTIC game that I love playing, but the element of teamwork is lacking in comparison to a turn-based game, like, say, Bug Fables, which has you control all three members of Team Snakemouth. It allows you to have a myriad of attacks and moves that all influence each other, and because you can control all members, it feels really good and rewarding! And you all feel like friends, not just in cutscenes, but explicitly in gameplay because teamwork is highly incentivized to make things work!

i guess if ur a dev or just someone who appreciates games remember that there's no objectively better style for gameplay; it's all about context!! what is the GOAL of combat? What choices does it have the player make? Would one style work over the other for achieving this goals? That's how you pick what style you want to use! That's how you can analyze why or why not a game's style is working for you! rghaGHHHH GAME DEVELOPMENT IS COOL ARRHGHGHGHHGFJG

#my posts #gamedev

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hungry-skeleton · 13 days ago

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Anything you'd like to loudly info-dump about RN?

I do think Skylanders can make a comeback someday but it's business model will absolutely have to change. A thing I hear a lot in talks about a skylanders revival is doing away with the figures entirely but like??? That's a staple of the franchise?? That's why it's so cool?? Half the appeal of skylanders is getting cool figures that double as playable characters like what are you on??

This is just me daydreaming of a world free of capitalism but a made to order business model would probably be the best way to go about a future game in terms of convenience for the consumer. All skylanders are available for purchase at all times and they'll just produce what you order. I understand that's just more difficult for them then releasing in waves but not only will it kill scalpers they'll probably get more regular buyers that way + they can still create demand by having limited time deals and variants to order too. Idk I'm not business smart

I think about my dream skylander game a lot, it is huge in scope and completely unreasonable to expect but what's the point of dreaming if you don't want the impossible right? Lmao. I think everyone can agree an open world skylander game would fuck hard, I'd like to be able to explore past levels in it too. An idea I had that could expand skylanders with less development would be to give every skylander their own special level with a plot relevant to their backstory. Again, I'm just dreaming the impossible but it's a start I think, I feel bad thinking about how many skylanders only have their flat back story and voice lines to go off of for personality.

ANOTHER thing I had in mind for a while was a better premise for a skylanders series. I know there's a lot of Academy fans here n I love y'all sm there are aspects of Academy that I enjoy but oiughhh *said sitting upon a throne with a golden crown* I could do better.

I'm just gonna be real netflix's generic kids 3d animation style for many of their shows makes me wanna pull my teeth out I hate ittt it's so safe and bland and the movement has no life or character at all. I know I'm biased but a 2d skylanders cartoon would be so niceee. Plus the premise of Academy is like... Okay.. But skylanders was MADE for an anthology series like come onn. The appeal of skylanders is the variety of characters! I want a rotating cast! I want to see different dynamics and day to day lives every episode!! And this is just a personal gripe but I'd like it to be closer to the game canon, Academy being its own canon is fine and understandable but some of its choices are so odd

Erm yeah that's a rant about a version of the Skylanders franchise that will never exist I hope that counts lmaoo I just like daydreaming about stuff I know will never happen leave me be

#It's my blog I can be self indulgent #an ask #skylanders

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rivalsforlife · 6 months ago

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pardon me if you’re tired of discussing this but. we know aa7 is on capcom’s radar on some level. and now they’ve rereleased every game right?? they’ve finally run out of backlog material after almost yearly releases since 2019…. Not to put the clown wig and nose back on too early but do you think we’ll actually get news about, or get to see, aa7 next year?

Never tired of discussing this!! This is right around the time of year where I'd be preparing to make my yearly AA7 Speculation Post anyway so this is great timing. (TGS, my enemy, is approaching.)

So just to make sure everyone's on the same page, here's a quick recap of where we're currently at:

In November 2020 we got internal Capcom leaks which included a calendar from 2019 with the roadmap for the AA series the next couple of years. This included:

DGS1&2 collection, which I did not think was going to happen ever, releasing April-June 2021

AA7, releasing around October-December 2021, right around the 20th anniversary.

Through late 2019-mid 2022, reconsider porting 456

We got DGS1&2 (a bit later than in the plan, but by like a month), we got the 456 ports, we got bonus AAI ports, we have nothing for AA7 nearly three years after it was supposed to come out. The pandemic is an obvious feature that could contribute to its delay, but at this point with 456 ports out I think we can safely say that this was not the only cause.

Some other things that may or may not be contributing to AA7's delay include:

Yamazaki, the previous main writer for 5&6 and the AAIs, left Capcom in 2020. If he was involved in AA7 at all, that could throw a wrench into things, but I recall hearing he intended AA6 to be his last AA game (I AM STRUGGLING TO FIND THE SOURCE THOUGH SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME), so I don't think this contributed very much. It does, however, mean that we're unsure about who the next main writer is - depending on what Takumi's up to or if they had to bring someone new on, there could be complications related to that.

I think TGAA did way better than anyone expected, which I covered in this post. It's possible that this could have shifted Capcom's priorities to porting more old games / porting to all modern consoles. It may have made people at Capcom think "damn everyone loves Takumi" so they tried to lure him back to AA7, and I have no idea how well that would have gone or if Takumi is even interested in continuing mainline AA right now. (I do think this at least contributed to the Ghost Trick ports.)

In my first ever AA7 speculation post I talked about how the ending of AA6 kind of wrote them into a corner re: how to continue with the series and which protagonist to use. I still stand by that argument even if a lot of that post aged badly.

Console ports! Previously new AA games were for whichever Nintendo handheld is out now (GBA, Nintendo DS, Nintendo 3DS). But now that the series is doing really well on all consoles, they may have decided to try to make their next mainline entry on all consoles, which would take more development time. Adding to this is that the Switch is near the end of its lifecycle with the Switch 2 (or whatever the successor will be) being announced soon - meaning that, if AA7 is coming out soon, Capcom is in the position of "do we try to squeeze this into the end of the Switch's lifecycle" (which, I'll need to find sources for this, is speculated to be some of the reasons behind why AAI2 and DGS2 sold badly when they were first released, and they can't make the same mistake thrice... right...?) or "do we try to time it with the release of the Switch 2"?

Also, a lot of this depends on how far AA7 was into development whenever it was derailed. If it was derailed from the pandemic, then according to the calendar, it would likely have still been in the prototype stage. It may be early enough that they would have had to start from scratch whenever they picked it up again. I don't work in the gaming industry so I have no idea how long it takes them to make a game or how easy it would be from what stage they're in.

One thing we can compare to is some of the comments about the recent AAI ports: in this interview, Shunsuke Nishida, the producer of the AAI collection, says that development on the collection began in 2022. He also mentions that this began once development on 456 was concluded. This leads me to believe that (contrary to my previous assumptions) 456 and AAIC were not developed concurrently (or if so, had very minimal overlap), and that the process of upscaling graphics, porting, and localization took them... about a year, maybe? So that takes time, even without taking into consideration how long it would take to come up with a new idea + write the script + the bulk of the programming that would have to be done that isn't considered with porting + probably way more than I can think of because again I do not work in the gaming industry.

There's also the question of why 456 and AAIC weren't developed concurrently. The calendar from 2020 shows that TGAA and AA7 were meant to be developed at least somewhat concurrently, and the staff from TGAA would eventually merge into working on AA7. Once again, we don't know what happened to the staff that were supposed to be working on AA7. It's possible pandemic complications meant they got shuffled onto other projects. It's possible the AA-related team is smaller now than it was in 2020, so they only have enough people to work on one project at a time. It's also possible that there's a team that was working on ports, and a team that was working on a new game, and now the "port team" is freed up to work on the "new game team".

Either way though, pretty much every interview with the staff for the 456 or AAI ports are all saying "look forward to the future of the series", which is definitely Corporate Speak, but unless they're bringing the ports of the Layton crossover (fingers crossed) that can only mean one thing. (AAI anime?) Plus, like I've discussed in this post, AA is having fantastic sales in general. They've seemingly either hired a new social media manager or changed the strategy so there is much more engagement on twitter. And AA is getting on bigger and bigger announcements - though AA trilogy ports were announced at TGS (at an AA-specific panel), TGAA duology ports were announced unceremoniously on twitter. Afterwards, 456 ports got announced at the Capcom Showcase during Summer Game Fest. And now AAI collection got announced at a Nintendo Direct, which I imagine is even more expensive, so the series must be going in a good direction for them to think that's worth it!

That's a lot of rambling for me to say I definitely think it's coming.

When are we going to see it though!!

Coming up in September is my eternal enemy Tokyo Game Show. Since AAI collection is being released at the beginning of September... it might be a bit too soon to announce a new game, but who knows. They might think it's profitable to ride the hype they're building now for AAI collection to announce a new game. Or they might let it sit for a while.

With AAIC getting announced at a Direct, I'm thinking they'll want to make AA7's announcement a) big and b) global. AA6 was announced in Famitsu, but the problem with that is that it's a mostly Japanese audience, and some interviews have been talking about how AA's global audience is particularly contributing to how big it is right now. So I'm expecting AA's next announcement to be at something major and something that will get attention from overseas audiences.

If they have been working on AA7 concurrently -- and honestly I do think there has at least been some progress on it since 2019 -- we could definitely see an announcement within the next year. I was also saying this in 2020, though, so don't take my word for it. There's been two year gaps between ports up until the AAI collection, and they seemed pretty proud about releasing 456 and AAI in the same year, so... maybe they'll want to keep it going and announce AA7 within the next year, especially if they'll have a longer announcement -> release period than they normally would for ports.

Potential candidates include:

Tokyo Game Show: As previously stated, it's very close to the AAIC release, so I don't think it's the best timing for it. I would not want my favorite AA game overshadowed by whatever the hell they're going to do with AA7. Likelihood: depends on how fast they want to follow up on the hype.

The Game Awards: is the next major gaming event, but that's already massive in terms of the type of games that get announced there, and it's expensive! Nintendo Direct is one thing since AA has always been a Nintendo-first series, but I don't think it's big enough to justify putting in a Game Awards ad. and I already have my clown wig on for persona 6 there. Likelihood: pretty low tbh

Next Year's Summer Game Fest-related Shows: I think this is the most likely, considering both the 456 collection and the AAI collection were announced around this time. For AA7 I'd say a Nintendo Direct to get lots of eyes on it, especially if AAIC sales pay off. Likelihood: pretty high!

Which leads me into my wildcard answer:

Switch 2 Announcement Stream: If Capcom decides to go in and make AA7 one of the first games for whatever the switch successor would be, it could be announced here. I regret to admit that I am a very bad gamer and only like two things, and therefore have not ever been present for one of these things to know how many games get announced as launch games for a new console, but, like, it's possible.

In the above scenario, I'm not necessarily saying that AA7 would be a Switch 2 exclusive - because I think that would be stupid after so much of the support they've gotten from the ports has been from playstation and steam - but I am definitely the kind of person who would buy a console for one video game. Shoutout to me buying a switch in part anticipating that aa7 would come out on it and that is not looking likely

Anyways, that's my speculation!! Reminder that this is mostly uninformed and that I have no knowledge of anything related to sales or marketing or video game development, and as a result of that, I have been wrong (aside from the one time I accurately predicted AAI ports as a joke) for four consecutive years.

#I hope this makes sense. it's kinda all over the place #asks #aa7 speculation #ace attorney #i am. so scared.

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therobotmonster · 7 months ago

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So... Shapeways is going bankrupt.

This is particularly irksome for me, as that's a good 1/3rd of my monthly income, so I'm crossing my fingers while I start setting up a new store on cults. I have literally thousands of items so getting them all up is going to take ages.

But why did this happen?

Well I'll fucking tell you what I think happened.

It was a company run on arrogance and cowardice.

Shapeways made its mark as the cafepress of 3d printing. The weight of this was their marketplace that let people sell prints directly to customers without having to do the printing themselves. At its peak, I made more from Shapeways than from my day job.

The problem was that Shapeways put zero effort into the marketplace. They'd send some of us to a con to promote the idea of 3d printing game minis a couple of times, sure, but when it came to actual site maintenance and design every suggestion and request by sellers was roundly ignored. We asked for better search and categorization options. We asked to be able to name variants in our stores. We asked for better communication from the print techs. We asked for accurate subcategories that actually reflected how customers looked for items. None of it was done.

As such, the site was baffling to customers and difficult to understand. This was made worse by Shapeways' continual renaming of their materials. So after a couple of years Shapeways announces that they're not going to do anything for the marketplace because it's underperforming, and are going to focus on B2B, and in doing so they buried the marketplace in a tiny little link on the front page.

Overnight sales plummeted. We complained again, nothing was done. We asked for a different URL that went straight to the marketplace (something that would literally cost them $80 to do) that we could direct customers to, we were ignored.

The marketplace is underperforming, so we won't put in the effort needed to make the marketplace perform. Makes perfect sense.

Prices go up. Shipping goes up substantially, and then it was a thousand little cuts. The auto-checks were altered to make it impossible to verify anything manually with any accuracy, so it became harder to design for the limitations of their printers.

The site slowed down substantially so every click had a several second pause, making shopping and maintaining frustrating and unpleasant. Shipping costs to many areas of the world became insanely high, effectively cutting off entire markets.

Want to not be Shapeways? Then remember this:

Your users know more about your site experience and their own needs than you do.

If you have a sales site, and the people selling through it say "this isn't working, we need this" then maybe you should listen to them and not just say 'you're wrong' to their faces.

Oh, and also, if goddamn Rolls-Royce comes in filing false DMCA claims over the use of the word "Phantom" in any context on your site, you don't take every item through a multiple day review for every edit and say "LOL, we can't do anything"

You take them to court for abusing the system on behalf of your user base, you fucking bootlicking cowards.

OH, AND I ALMOST FORGOT!

I HAD TO FIND OUT ABOUT THIS FROM A DM ON TWITTER.

They've sent me a check every month for half a decade and they don't even send a "We're closing shop" email.

Look upon my prints, ye mighty, and despair.

If you want to help me though the meantime, here's my paypal.me and my gofundme.

#shapeways #late stage capitalism #3d printing #failure #corporate incompetence #corporate greed

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lyinginbedmon · 2 years ago

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Oh lordy is there bad things going down across the VTuber space right now so I’m gonna try and unpack them for ease of comprehension.

Real quick: A VTuber is essentially just a regular livestreamer but instead of a facecam they have a custom model (usually made of layered images but also often a full 3D object) that tracks their face and such. Big tiddy anime girl representation to say the least but it’s a very creative space.

Next: Silvervale, Silver for short. Silver is one such big tiddy anime (wolf) girl, who is part of a corporate group of VTubers called VShojo. I probably don’t need to describe much more for the purposes of this post.

Hogwarts Legacy is a video game based in the bigotry-entrenched universe of the Harry Potter franchise by notorious face-of-transphobia Joanne K. Rowling. Since its announcement in 2018, trans individuals and groups have quite rightly highlighted numerous ethical and moral problems with the game ranging from the inherent bigotry of the setting, to the involvement of literal far-right YouTubers in its development, to just the basic stuff like its success greenlighting further instalments all while Rowling pockets royalties to (expressly) further fund her anti-trans projects (which includes her writing Literally being read into record to quash things like the Equality Act).

The general advice, which would be true regardless of your actual thoughts on the game or franchise, was to just not play it. That way Rowling makes less money, fewer future games are made, and nobody gets hurt as a result. You end your day $60 better off that you can spend on some other big game that isn’t basically radioactive.

To say the Video Gamers did not take that advice well would be an understatement, but things get really ugly when a streamer who otherwise professes to creating a calm and friendly atmosphere, who makes claims to being an ally, gives in and plays the Wizard Game. I’m not going to say that people haven’t been harassed for playing it, almost certainly someone has, but I just don’t have the data to be certain that it goes much further than just posting “trans rights” in chat.

Enter Silvervale. Despite half a decade of advance warning that she shouldn’t play this game, she played it anyway. Live on camera. The community she’d fostered for years didn’t take this well either, and the stream ended early amid purported harassment from the chat. Silver wasn’t the first VTuber to play the Wizard Game, but she was one of the first English-speaking ones.

Things could have just quietly ended there, but Silver then returned to streaming with more of the game and a statement that she had been “harassed” by “freaks and degenerates” on Twitter. Not her best choice of words, but the damage was done.

Because of the 5-year leadup to the Wizard Game releasing, the right-wing mob had already noticed the controversy around it and had made Huge investments into buying and promoting the game as well as spewing vitriol against anyone who even slightly suggested that doing so was in poor taste. They naturally then flocked to Silver’s defense and, following her unfortunate description of “marginalised people making their discomfort known as they had declared they would Years in advance” using language straight from 1930s Germany, started directly attacking any streamer who voiced their intent not to play the game however detailed their reasoning.

As a brief aside, there’s some confusion over how Silver’s chat moderation is set up, seemingly blocking such phrases as “trans rights are human rights”. Some say it’s an overzealous automod, others that her moderators are actually blocking the phrases, it’s unclear and not hugely worth focusing on here. But I mention it because it’s one of the common points made as people state their side on this issue.

This has essentially made Silver the face of transphobic bigotry in the VTuber community, whether or not she actually considers herself aligned with such bigots. Multiple smaller and independent trans VTubers have completely stopped streaming because of the bile being spewed at them by people with the likes of #IStandWithSilver in their bios. The overlaps between accounts on social media posting in her defense and numerous far-right hate movements is as undeniable as it is unpleasant to catalogue.

And boy that’s just the foundation of this whole sorry affair.

Another VTuber who is part of the same company as Silver, VShojo, is Apricot (more commonly called Froot). Froot not only decided to vocally not play the Wizard Game, but to post a tweet saying that she would personally donate to UK trans children’s charity Mermaids for every like the tweet received. She added that her brother is trans and she supports him immensely.

So the bigots that leapt to Silver’s defense very predictably started calling Froot a paedophile and child groomer, which is more or less what they label every pro-trans individual ever these days. Froot had to lock replies on her charity post and her post about her brother as a result, though the tweets remain up.

Most recently, a third peer in VShojo called Ironmouse came to Silver’s defense specifically in opposition to the alleged harassment she received which, again, anyone could have seen coming in the last 5 years by googling the Steam page for this game.

And honestly, at this point, whatever actually happened to Silver in that first stream is completely irrelevant because she’s become the rallying cry of people who actively want to exterminate the entire trans community from cradle to grave and literally beyond. And so much of it could be resolved or at least get the wind out of its sails if she took 5 minutes to just apologise for and disavow everything that happened in her name after she decided to keep playing the Wizard Game.

But, and I say this with no disrespect to Silver, I’m not holding my breath.

#long post #vshojo #vtubers #drama #wizard game #I've been trying not to just constantly talk about this issue #but the disk horse just keeps getting WORSE

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rojaceartandgaming · 1 month ago

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Archie Sonic VS IDW Sonic (and a minor analysis of Scourge vs Surge and Kit): Both are Great, y'all are just comparing apples to oranges

I see a lot of people comparing the story and plot points of the Archie Comics and the IDW comics a lot and... I guess I can see why, but I think it's an unfair comparison. The comics are a lot different tonally and set out to do different things and sure, some of the writing nowadays is better and people love to clown on Ken Penders' writing but... things are a lot deeper then that.

This is gonna be a long post of media analysis so... here's a line break. I'm not trying to start a fight, I just love both comics and want to ramble.

Now, I love both comics a lot. I have a lot of nolstalga for the Archie comics as they were the first really story driven Sonic media I had ever seen. The comics I started with reading were around the first bits of Ian Flynn's run (though I jumped around a lot, give me a break, I was like seven) and honestly? I loved it! I couldn't get enough! Sonic was awesome, I loved the original world and characters, and I think the whole roboticization plots (and Bunnie might've inspired my very first OC who I still have to this day) were incredible!

As for the IDW comics, I got into them earlier this year. By this point, I was a college student who had basically lived through the recent dark age of Sonic and only started to have faith in the series again thanks to the movies, Sonic Frontiers, and Sonic Prime. But even so, I had just become dissatisifed with the writing in Sonic games. Something that probably wasn't helped when, in highschool, I finally picked up my first 3D Sonic game which was... Sonic Forces on switch. The wasted potential that was that game deserves its own post, both for the story and the gameplay. One of the biggest issues I had with Sonic for the longest time was the stories just... sucking, or not utilizing characters well. Story is the most important thing to me for games, so seeing awesome characters like Blaze, Silver, Shadow, and Metal Sonic - my favorite character of all time - be used as cameos or one note villains sucked.

Suffice to say I love Sonic X Shadow Generations, but that's a post for another day.

Finally, out of curiosity, I checked out the IDW comics and god, they were a treat. After being starved for good characterization for most of my time with Sonic? It was incredible. Older characters getting their chances to shine, a plot that does refer to Forces in a way that makes sense - a devastating time that still effects the plot now what with Whisper and Mimic's plot! - and newer characters that are stellar, especially when it comes to villains. Starline is by far my favorite villain from these new comics, though Clutch has turned out to be really cool too. But the stars of the show are Surge and Kit, I won't argue about that.

But the thing that makes these comics both great - that I don't see anyone talking about - is the fact they're meant to handle things differently. The Archie comics started in a time when Sonic didn't have that much coherent plot in the West, so SATAM Sonic, The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, and Sonic Underground had to make it up as they went - some shows were darker, proceeding to come up with characters like Sally or concepts like roboticization, whilst others were more slap-stick heavy. Those contrasting vibes were stuck in a blender and out came the Archie comic which... did definiately have its problems. I won't deny that. But they were given free reign to go wild with Mobius - eventually having to integrate things like arcs for the Adventure games but handling it well - and they made some incredible lore! The alternate dimensions, the new characters, the devastation that came with the Eggman Empire, and the echidna's deep lore - I hate Ken Penders too, y'all, but I miss echidna tribe lore so much. It was so cool istg.

Hell, villains could be dark as hell - and it makes sense. In the older cartoons and in these comics, Robotnik was a lot more sinister when it came to his portrayal. And I like that! We don't see that as often nowadays. Other villains and rivals are cool as hell too (I mean, look at Doctor Finitevus' design ALONE) and yeah, I say that extends to Scourge too. I'll get into that in a minute.

Sure, Archie Sonic was a mess, but once you accept the absurdity it's not that bad, especially post issue 160 and ESPECIALLY after the reboot. It's a darker story with good lighthearted moments that outweigh the bad, in my opinion. It set out to make its own story, and it did whilst incorporating characters from the games as well as it could.

IDW Sonic, on the other hand, came in 2018 - we know who these characters, they've had a lot adventures, good and bad! Eggman's not as villainous as he used to be, sure, but that's in line with the games too. He's not a one-note villain whose only personality is an evil laugh, and I love it! Honestly, I'd argue this is the best interpretation we've ever gotten of Eggman, especially when we get to the added depth of the Mr. Tinker thing and the fact he only reverted back to villainy thanks to Starline! And frankly, everyone who acts like Sonic working with Eggman in the Riders arc is a new thing... it's not. It's happened in the games. It happened in the Archie comics when dealing with Knuckles as Enerjak. Just... cope. Deal with the fact that Eggman has depth now. Stop complaining. Please.

The IDW comics are more lighthearted, better written, and are more grounded in this post-Forces world. It can be dark as hell though, clearly - I don't need to get into the Metal Virus arc for y'all to know how good it was. Hell, Surge and Kit being stuck in a cycle of abuse is really, really grim and I hope things get better for them.

Now, I see a lot of people comparing Surge to Scourge and... I'm sorry, that's my biggest issue with the comparisons between the comics. Yes, they're both green and designed after an old debug menu glitch in the classic games. But they have more depth then that. This video here -

youtube

goes into Scourge's character really well! Honestly, he's really compelling - the worst version of what Sonic can be and an intentionally pathetic foe who's almost doing too much on purpose to prove a point. He's a jerk, he's intentionally edgy as hell, he's almost pathetic as a villain and... that's the point. He's Sonic at his edgy worst, if he was a massive jerk. Sonic is Scourge if Scourge had some decency, and it's super compelling to read about.

But that's not who Surge is. She isn't an alternate bastard version of Sonic from a different dimension. Surge and Kit are the products of Starline's obsession with Eggman and overcoming Eggman. They're the products of Starline trying to take out Eggman, Sonic, and Tails and crafting "replacements" for them whilst completely failing to understand each character and their dynamics with each other.

Eggman is reckless, sure, and doesn't have a real scientific method, but he's always looking forward. The next invention, the next plan, the next action. That's what brings about Starline's demise.

Sonic is rash and reckless, sure, but he respects others and especially his buddy Tails. And Tails isn't subserviant to Sonic or 100% blindly loyal to him. They're equals - no, they're brothers. But Starline didn't see that, and for a good chunk of the beginning of their arc Surge and Kit aren't healthy for each other.

But they're all they have left.

These two are tragic characters. They have no past, no origins that they remember. All they have is each other, and the personalities and abilities Starline gave them. They're tragic characters that deserve so, so much better and frankly? Even though I see a redemption arc in their future I can see them being more like Shadow rather then Sonic and Tails 2.0. Antiheroes, not symbols of everything good in this world. And that's a good thing! They have depth, and I love it.

Archie Sonic and IDW Sonic are different beasts entirely, and that's okay. They don't need to be compared so harshly, because they both have their merits.

IDW Sonic could never tell the story of a character like Scourge, and Archie Sonic couldn't tell the story of Surge and Kit. And that's why I love both comics. They're distinctive!

#sonic idw #idw sonic #archie sonic #scourge the hedgehog #surge the tenrec #Youtube

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