#its just a state of mind lol
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When I'm in doubt about what to wear, I just think: "what would Villanelle wear?"
#yeah obviously i cant afford buying the clothes she wears in the show#its just a state of mind lol#i also loved how she was never dressing in a sort of way that is exactly attractive to the 'male gaze'#and she was Always so fucking gorgeous#the green grinchish outfit she was wearing while playing golf (and murdering) was objectively weird but...#well its Villanelle so it looked fabulous on her#and i have kind of the same body type as jodie comer which was quite refreshing to see
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I rewatched Zuko and Azula's Agni Kai recently and it's left me wondering – when Zuko begins to goad Azula into striking him with lightning, was he making the decision to kill her?
Because had Azula shot lightning directly at him like he planned and not at Katara, the most forthright implication to me is that he was intending to strike Azula with her own lightning. And Azula, for all her mastery, would not have been able to counter that.
On the other hand, maybe he wasn't planning to kill her at all and was simply planning to redirect it elsewhere (similar to what he did with Ozai). But given the tone of tragedy throughout the Agni Kai, the fact that they both acknowledge that this fight will be "the end" to them, I don't think it's inaccurate to read Zuko's actions as him preparing to kill Azula, even though an Agni Kai doesn't have to end with death (and in canon it didn't). Also, why goad her into striking him with lightning if he wasn't planning on doing something intentional with it? If anything, it adds another layer to the tragedy to me, because I don't believe Zuko wants to kill her. And it stands in such contrast to the way that Azula desperately wants to kill him.
I also think that there would have even been something sadly poetic in that sort of demise for Azula should the Agni Kai had gone this direction: Azula, struck down by her preferred sub-skill. Azula, struck down by the very bolt of lightning that she intended to kill her brother with. Azula, struck down by her own power.
#I'm just so curious to Zuko's state of mind during this Agni Kai#maybe I'm slow on the uptake and everyone's gonna be like: obviously he was trying to kill her#but it just... never occurred to me#Like I knew he brought up lightning redirection as an intentional goad?#but I never really thought about what his planned outcome was given how the fight ends up panning out#Also Zuko's perspective when it comes to killing is interesting to me#because morally he's not against it!!#He thinks Ozai should die#And tells Ozai that the reason that he's not going to kill him (during the eclipse) is because of optics/politics (its the avatar's duty)#he thinks that had Katara killed her mother's killer it would have been a form of justice#(or maybe he was just referring to the act of her confronting him idk that whole convo is very ambiguous at times lol)#and yet AND YET he still reached out to save Zhao in season 1 despite Zhao having tried to kill him#he seems shocked (unsettled?) by the idea that Azula might die when she's falling from the airship and that's what?#days? a few weeks before the Agni Kai?#(and sure that reaction could just be shock that she would die so... randomly? but still)#Its just so fascinating#and so tragic#atla#zuko
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personal character design headcanons + brainrot
Note: the re-bound!au does NOT belong to me, it belongs to @chipper-smol I’m just not normal about it lol
#I SAY PERSONAL BC ITS MY OWN SPIN ON IT. NOT CHIPPERS CANON UNLESS THEY DECIDE TO OR NOT YOU HEAR ME /LH#I made a banner and everything this time. PLWEASE send them your questions not me JAJFHDSF#I thought it would be cool if macaque has two separate forms as a shadow and inside a mindscape. like I wanted his shadow form to reflect#him in his prime and then the mindscape form as what he looked like when he died. or a more vulnerable state at least#based on LBD appearing to MK as the ivory lady when she died in the S3 special. I don’t know exactly what it was but my first thought seein#the white void was she was appearing to MK in his mindscape to talk to him. so I built on that#I wanted to give him a more ‘Smokey’ look as a shadow just based on how he manipulates them in the show like in shadow play. I hope this#makes it look cool and immaterial. and then his mindscape form would be more battered up and tangible#the last couple images are chippers ideas though since they said the monkeys are drawn to MK when macaque is possessing him lol#and the fact that macaque doesn’t have any senses unless he’s possessing someone + literally sniffing out wukong in the scroll 🤨📸#I also have a vivid image of macaque moving from the mindscape to physical form like umm. kind of like when he passes the boundary between#physical and spirit/mind(?) it’s like the shadow covers him like ink. or pulling Saran Wrap over your face and it clings to your skin#so it kind of makes the shadow seem like a sort of shell or covering.. and I love the idea of MK meeting macaque in the mindscape for the#first time too. like the moment mac rescues him from LBD and MK sees him all battered and tired looking brooooooo#I’m not even sure if that would count as a mindscape but it rattles around in my brain like loose marbles#god I fucking love this au. gives me imagination fuel swear to god#my art#doodles#lmk#Lego Monkie kid#Monkie kid#lmk au#re-bound!au#rebound au#lmk sun wukong#lmk swk#lmk macaque#lmk six eared macaque#lmk mk#lmk xiaotian
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SAID HE LIKES CRAZY GIRLS,
BUT HE HATES WHEN I ACT CRAZY,
IT TAKES TWO TO TOXIC!
FINALLY!!! Finished these pics of jinx I’ve been working on!!!!! HOLY SHIT, these took so long…. But finally… they’re done… pls enjoy this art of my beautiful princess w a disorder. Featuring alternate colors for the big pic and also a closeup! Cuz I rlly like how both the lines and coloring on her face turned out… like the pink gradients w her eye… her deer in headlights expression,, like uve just startled a raccoon digging thru ur trashcan and r two seconds away from getting mauled.. m proud of it!
#arcane#league of legends#jinx#jinx arcane#arcane jinx#doodles#hate and love how hardcore I relate to jinx…#little sisters w dependency issues.. + a whole lot of other issues#anyway the ‘he’ in the ‘crazy girl’ lyrics is in my mind referring to both vi and silco lol#I’m sORRY! I keep seeing ppl hardcore pitting these 2 bad bitches against each other#and it’s like… silco is objectively. morally worse than vi.. vi is not like. a ruthless crime lord#vi IS 100% trying her best and loves her sister. but she still screwed up w jinx#and silco ALSO truly loves jinx. but also screwed up by fucking. trauma bonding w her ghgh-#like.. silco is too close. he’s like. yes go apeshit jinx I support and love you and understand u no matter what fucked up shit u do.#were the same. and that’s beautiful!!! I love how supportive he is…#but its like.. silcos too close. he just became a new person for jinx to glomp onto and base her self esteem around after vi left#and he doesn’t manipulate that on purpose but. he DOES effect that girls mental state. cuz he needs her too#meanwhile vi is too far away… she thinks she knows who jinx is. but jinx has changed… time marches forward. she’s not that little girl#anymore#and nOW! after the finale jinx has NOBODY TO BE CODEPENDENT W..#her mental state has always been so tied up in how the ppl she puts on pedestals view her#and now there’s no pedestal anymore. she knocked down the statues. she’s alone…#it’s interesting….#anyway I’m not trying to say vi is as bad as silco at ALL. just that she’s an equally important building block in jinx’s mind#that has made her into the fucked up lil person she is today. and I think that’s neat.#lol anyway! I’m hyped for season 2….#aLSO GOD DAMN THIS GIRLS OUTFIT IS COMPLICATED. WHY DO U GOT SO MANY BITS N BOBS JINX??? I mean I get it accessories rock.#but u take so much time to draw ghfhg- require so much brainpower#aLSO ADDENDUM. while silco is objectively morally worse than vi his relationship w jinx is genuinely. like. makes me emotional ghgh-#its not perfect. or healthy. but… it’s. the both of them. being seen. and accepted. and loved and understood.. and I love that shit.
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Wait... Dream was born on August 12, 1999 and Dream was arrested in the Disc Finale on January 20, 2021 soo... wait, wait, wait, that means he was only 21 when he was imprisoned for life in a small lava covered box!... Did I do that math right? 21?! Man was barely able to drink legally in the United States and they gave him a life sentence in a boiling cell with nothing but lava, raw potatoes, a clock, and some books?!... oh my god...
#sorry.... I just... give me a minute to process... I mean I knew we were close in age but I guess I never really thought about it#sometimes I forget it happened all the way back in 2021 and just... wow.#and Tommy would have been 16 so getting his driver's license in most states... The age gap is like that of my siblings and huh...#my brother can be a real prick... its a weird thought to imagine him getting through in prison just for messing with us... damn...#dreblr#c!dream#this is fine#don't mind me researching for my lastest maddening project..... i can't stop thinking about Dream being Sam's project.......#I'd blame my job but... let's be honest the prison arc lives rent free in my brain lol XD#dsmp#dsmp dream#dream smp#dreamwastaken#no one does it like c!dream#prison arc#pandora's vault#dishing up lore#kinda? I guess...#lore thoughts#ouch... I'm older than c!dream was in prison now... poor baby... :'(
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You are in excruciating pain, you’ve never been more hopeless in your life, everything you’ve worked towards is compromised, you’re trapped here, you’re going to die, and Ricardo Ortega still loves you, unrepentantly.
#drawing this was like getting kicked in the dick frankly#feeling a way about them currently#ignore all previous instructions! i love you!! I love YOU!!!!!!!!!!#its all fun and games until i decide to shotgun blast bel with reality#guy can only pretend everything is under control until he cant#and having your legs shattered into three billion pieces and being so terrified of being trapped and having it all fall apart#is a point where u can no longer deny whats in front of you#lowest point for him#lost my mind and marbles about them currently. like‚ it is just so So important to ricardo that bel knows he's supremely loved and wanted#guy saw bel deny his personhood and be so fuckin afraid of what ricardo would think of him now that the cats out of the bag‚ he immediately#in that moment decided “yeah no. im telling him all the time. he's going to be sick of hearing how much i love him actually.”#very important moments in ricbel history#this was just supposed to be a quick thing lol and its still in a relatively unfinished state bc working on it was making me want to kms#anyway. how about that regene reveal scene huh
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Forgive me if I'm a bit nervous about Gorgug this season. It's just that the last Zac Oyama pc was Colin Provolone, who was arguably one of his greatest D20 performances, if not the greatest.
Zac always does great with every pc he plays, but Colin was something else. He came out swinging with actions and words that were teeming with unspoken emotional baggage. The way Colin's presence affected the other pcs; there was this level of depth that I don't think I've seen in any of his other characters. It was understated and quiet in that signature "just a guy" way that he tends to be, while still captivating everyone instantly with just how raw it was.
Not to say we haven't seen emotional depth in Gorgug. It's just that, compared to the other Bad Kids, Gorgug's journey and progression as a character has been very... impersonal? Like, yes, he found his birth parents, and he found friends who appreciate him, and he faced his insecurities about his intelligence, and he navigated relationship troubles, and his trial through the claustrophobic bug-tunnels was a horrifically-uncanny parallel to how he's spent his entire life trying to make himself as small as possible.
But how much of that has actually changed him from the Gorgug we started with? I would agree that he's definitely happier with his life, given all the loving and supportive people that have been added to it when it used to be just him and his parents. And he's certainly grown into himself and become more self-assured in his abilities, even if he's still, and always will be, our anxious little guy. And there's nothing wrong with that. I've always liked how Gorgug was a representation of all the little things. The subtle acts and kindnesses that don't seem like much to most, but to some are everything.
We don't need another Bad Kid living in fear that their mouth could be shit-in at any moment. We've already got one-too-many.
All that being said, I just feel like Gorgug's personal story beats are much easier to sweep under the rug than everyone else's. He has the same soft and understated quality that Colin held, but they lack that extra oomph that pushed Colin over the edge from being just another guy in a series of dudes, to a character that the vast majority of us could not get out of our heads. He took someone who was anxious and softspoken, who ultimately never wanted to be violent— someone who is remarkably similar to Gorgug in many ways— and maintained that demeanor and core in Colin's character while still hitting us in the feels with character development at max velocity at every turn.
I think Zac gets better and better at this with every season that goes by. With each new character, there is always something that leaves me stunned in awe. And it's been, what, three? Four years since we last saw Gorgug?
I'm just,,, I'm cautiously optimistic but also going into a bit of a worry about what violence this man may inflict upon us
#i got SO carried away LMAO#i dont think ive ever written any posts about gorgug specifically#i made a lot about colin. and some about pib. and some more about zacs performances in general.#but never anything gorgug-focused. i just wasnt on tumblr at those other times that hed been on my mind like this#you can tell i still couldnt resist talking about colin lol#he was just so fucking good. a fantastic character all around. i cant imagine a better example to get my point across than him#when i do posts like this its all very much just me taking a vague idea and working with whatever comes out in the moment#so when i tell you i very much did not plan to get lost in the counterargument and had to stop for a second to remember what my point was#my point still stands but so does everything else#you dont realize it. how similar gorgug and colin really are. or how metaphorical the bug tunnel was.#or how gorgug IS the epitome of little details. small acts. quiet rights and wrongs. the faint causes and the even subtler effects.#u dont truly realize it until youre writing it yourself in a free flow fugue state and it all comes to a halt cuz youve blown your own mind#anyway i love gorgug and i love zac pcs and i hope this post makes sense cuz finding the right words was fucking hard hah#dimension 20#d20#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#gorgug thistlespring#the ravening war#trw#colin provolone#zac oyama
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like there has got to be at least one doctor out there that says endogenics are fake right??
there's ones that argue DID isn't even a real thing there's some out there that argue against endogenics openly and actively?? right??
#tagging this with stuff because oh my god#anti endo#<- not actually anti endo but please if you are one give me ONE doctor or scientist that has publically stated SOMETHING#because astro has not even TRIED and its lowkey FRUSTRATING#preferably ones that mention endogenic systems by name and fakeclaim them / say they can't exist at all directly#not just doctors that say DID is a thing and its only trauma based and say nothing about plurality outside of that#like syscourse has existed for a few years in public spaces at least one doctor has probably said 'endos r fake lol' on twitter or somethin#syscourse#systempunk#<- again tagging for reach since i wnat SOMEONE to give SOME proof of the other side of the argument#i KNOW its out there-#even if its not super good i still want it#or maybe itll be good and ill actually change my mind! see if you can try!
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btw its probably obvious by the fact that i have just been posting normal-style but for the new followers ive gotten in the past few months i dont really do april fools stuff on my blog or anything. nothing against it! i just take everything i do very seriously - even my jokes orz so im not good at prank holidays
#other peoples jokes can be fun tho! but i probably never will do much with the holiday#also because i never know its happening LOL on march 31st im expecting march 32nd. thats just my usual march state of mind
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laalalalala another vent post because i have no therapist to pay for listening to my bullshit
#i just dont fucking get it lol#like i genuinely just cannot grasp the concept#i dont usually do this but i finally snapped and asked her if she thought about how *I* would feel when she texts me#about the 'letting herself go' and how she's disgusting and a monster. and she hits me with a 'no because this is how she feels#she's feeling really really badly so that's what she's thinking about atm' like ok??????????? is this like. normal?#because no matter how horrible i feel at any point of time i will ALWAYS think about how my words may affect the other person FIRST#because the last thing i want is to make someone feel worse because i feel bad. there is a constant calculus party going in my brain#where i try to calculate how much and in what words i can tell say to this particular person to absolutely minimise the chance#that they'll feel bad or uncomfortable or whatever because of what i say. ofc i will slip up and miscalculate every once in a while#shit happens and i am sorry if i do but at least i can honestly say to myself that i did what i could to Not do that.#i will always think about the other person first because (usually) id like people to return the same action towards me.#and idk maybe im tweaking here but isnt that like. normal???? like the obvious logical thing to do they teach you in kindergarten?#sorry. heavily catholic upbringing moment but what happened to 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you'????????#anyway. obviously there will always be slip ups and unusual occasions but to openly just state that because you were feeling really bad#you didnt really care what the other person would feel when you tell them something is fucking WILD to me. like genuinely inconceivable.#this is not to assume a holier-than-thou persona but i really do think this is the normal fucking thing to do if you're an adult?????#like oh my god sometimes you will just have to shut up and not fully vent upon someone especially if its uninvited and out of the blue#i think its different if you're having a heart-to-heart trauma bonding moment or sth and someone *asks you* to vent etc etc#but to just treat every instance when you're feeling bad as a permission to just say whatever with 0 consideration for the other person???#wild. really fucking weird to me that's all.#✨tumblr vent posts✨ dont count ofc you are not only allowed but legally required to say the deepest most horrible batshit insane thoughts#that ever cross your mind <33 like i would not tell a person irl that i daydream about the woodchipper thing obviously cause its fuckn nuts#uwu teehee episode 2137 of 'i dont understand the way the world and other people work and its driving me insane lol&lmao'
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tiramisu is probably my ultimate favorite dessert, but I don’t know anyone else who really likes it (?????) so every time I go out and get one I have to eat the entire thing myself and it’s sooooo sad. sooooooooooo sad.
#most people are like yeah it’s fine and might have one bite#but it’s SO GOOD????#I don’t understand how people like CHEESECAKE (disgusting. grostesque.) but think tiramisu is ‘fine’#its fine I will continue to eat all of it myself I don’t Mind#I’m just thinking about some of the tiramisu I had in Italy lol#I even got one at McDonald’s lmfao#and it was GOOD#honestly better than most tiramisu I’ve had in the states#I had one last night and it was really good but it was cinnamon and tea instead of chocolate and coffee#so it was good but did not quite sate my craving for a tiramisu and I feel I must find one somewhere
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#not going by distance i think time is a better representation of vibe#im juuuust under an hour and i see people wi lobster traps in their yard and buoys on their barn and i'm like hm..really? lol#its nice to see but i think its a stretch#we're between the mountain area and the beach area in my mind but lean more towards mountains#i wish the beach was closer but thats my literal only regret abt where we live lol#if i was a better more confident driver i might not mond at all tbh#anyway#when i lived 4 hours away people acted like it was a beachy area but....it was not#if you need to stay in a hotel to visit it doesnt count to me#like its not kansas but come on....#just bc your state has a beqch does not make every area in that state coastal#coastal decor is corny unless you're close to the beach#nobody cares about this issue but i need to know the consensus#maybe im just biased bc i grew up in a more coastal area than i live now but maybe my area still counts#i would like to think so but im not convinced#i think 30-45 min has to be the limit#but maybe my experiences are not universal here#this has been a shitpost
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i ship inhun in a way that differwnt and more swagful than anyone else btw.
#TBFHHHHH i know i know i knowwww i say a lot. but i dont even ship in in the traditional sense#i dont think it will b canon and i dont rlly WANT it to b canon. its just insane like ZAMNNNNN why r u looking at each other like thatatttt#i dont think that if (IF) inho reveals his identity gihun is gonna magically b like Oh my god… okay well i like u now. more the opposite#and i dont think inho genuinely likes gihun all that much. i think hes obsessed w him in a way that borders on it but. u know#to inho gihun mostly just represents the parts of himself hes locked away. hes like the person inho used to be or cld have been#i think he DOES want whats best for gihun but like. just in his own opinion#to him whats best is to just.. pretend these issues dont exist and move on.#i think being wrapped up in the games is sickening no mattter what side ur on and he knows this. and just wants gihun to forget#i also do think he sees Something special in gihun. but its not like Ahhhh come and rule by my side 😈 LOL#yeah like i said. the recognition of the self. DONT GO DOWN THIS PATH MAN FUCK OFFFFFF#um. also yeah gihun i dont think wld have such a thrn around to like date himmmm oh my god lol#i think its likely hell end up Not killing inho for various reasons and possibly even leaving room for redemption#but yeah i dont think he wld ever trust him even. i dont think he wld let all that slide 😭😭😭#gihun x youngil is bantssss. but not real at all sadly#rhe best fic i read of them was a pre series fic where inho wasnt the front man yet. and he met gihun by chance#and kinda used him to convince himself that what he was doing was right. For The Greater Good etc#i cant remember what it was called but it was sooo good i need to find it sometime#sniff….. living in a sad world where every body mischaracterises them sooooo bad and evil.#THE BEST INHUN CONTENT was the animation of them over the megamind breakup scene. MY GOD#ill be honest. igaf abt their dynamic soooo hard but htemain reaosn i ‘ship’ them is bc theyre both INSANELY FINE. AND I NEED THEM BADLY#and. im obsessed w them separately. so of course they are making out sloppy style in my mind#ill b honest as well i dont think gihun is in the right state of mind for aany of That AT ALLLL rn either.#and as well w inho not being intersted in that way. and also he shot his brother bc it was aconflict of interests. btw.#whatever tho lol the memes and shit r funny as fuckkkkk so idc. keep fucking#anyways sangihun 🔛🔝 for fucking everrrrrer in terms of an actual ship#tho i dont think they wld ever be canon either. well i mean. for obvious reasons#but also bc i dont PERSONALLY think sangwoo wld ever allow himself that. BYE#idk idk idk maybe i am wrong and i know nothing.#SORRY. ik i am fighting invsisible demons again i just saw a post abt Sickos who know Nothing abt the Themes…. NO GUYS.. PROMMY THATS NOT ME
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UC Santa Cruz has a free PDF of Pedagogy of the Oppressed by Paulo Freire!
#it didn't bit me till just now that a lot of young ppl dont even know the difference btwn the parties or what's even going on in the country#like a friend told me she doesn't know the difference btwn Democrats and Republicans#and like fair lmao they both support capitalism and genocide before the people#but dude!!! how???#how does anyone live their life not knowing a thing about the politics that decide what happens to them and their community????#i guess I should clarify this is an acquaintance not rly a friend friend#we just met weeks ago so.#im just baffled but then i think abt how i didn't learn abt what communism ACTUALLY is until 22 when my awesome old roomie told me#and i remember how gentle and patient she was and so i xont wanna be reactionary and mean to ppl who dont know shit#even tho my natural state is bitch lol#*hit not bit i just noticed that typo#there's obviously other important boo#books to read but this is the one that comes to mind now#its easy and good#and free
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So I saw some stuff a little while ago about how "Oh why isn't there more ship names" or "Listen guys, other fandoms do this why don't we?" and I just want to say...
MY ASS DID SHIP NAMES WHEN I HAD TO DO SHIP REQUESTS!!!!
GoldenSunshine for CaliFlo and ColdCasino for ColoVada
So please people, if y'all are doin ship names, include my ass into it cause OOO do I love makin a good ship name :D
#welcome to the table#wttt#welcome to the statehouse#listen okay#i just wanted to say this#i feel its important#okay maybe it isnt#but im stupid alright#'sides i really do just want to talk ship names#please#they are very fun to make#especially with state trivia in mind#idk like i said im stupid lol#kyi talks#technically
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yknow im probably going to sound a bit overdramatic for a moment with this sorry but,
ive said like two lore streams ago or w/e that im not going to let myself get as heated as i did at the start with how gun's been handling ( read : forgetting she exists ) maria all this time bc at this point i consider my portrayal of her an oc, as i essentially feel across the board with my other texas muses frankly but like.
i do think, while i was obviously thrilled to no end that they announced maria & she was playable etc, i do think the execution of her in-game really sincerely disappointed and pissed me off so badly. like yes end of the day shes a bunch of pixels etc etc whatever sure but its like. genuine frustration at how absolutely sidelined she has been since day one. and i know theres plenty of valid arguments for other characters receiving similar treatment ( ie. sonny ) in a variety of ways, and i do get the angle of maria initially serving as a haunting of the narrative, haunting her friends and sister and being more of that sort of invisible presence rather than physically there in the moment like they all are - but its severely disappointing to see just how little they give a shit about her, both in lore & in gameplay etc.
model-wise? shes completely fine i adore how she looks and everything shes beautiful shes adorable shes exactly as babygirl as i hoped and imagined her to be & look. but shes otherwise both so underwhelming and so borderline useless ( being generous ) and her ability is just the most uncreative pointless thing i feel they could have thought to give her. like. theres so many pieces i can rip apart for just that alone but i dont wanna yap for an eternity lmao
i just wish they gave an ounce of a shit about her. and like sure yes they could easily alter things or add on things on for her in the future etc. sure, yeah, fine and all but its just... i dont think im going to forget how sloppily put together they made her. or how they've consistently forgotten & disrespected her all these months. and with them branching away from her & the friendgroups' story into other victims' as time passes, their already sheer-ass attention spans are only going to grow thinner across the rosters and i guess in my eyes theyre just never going to make up for any of how they treated her character. and like yes thats fine bc i & others will do her infinitely better justice than they ever will but its still just like... its still disappointing.
like so much went wrong with that release day that i think i was just trying to cling onto the excitement of her just being playable but everything else, certain other complaints etc i wont get into, made me think that disappointment in how she was executed was an exaggeration on my part bc im too attached to her lmao and so i kinda just internalized the disappointment i think but it really is just like man. i feel like ive lowkey been in mourning of her since she was released. no faith at all that they are ever going to give her an ounce of dignity outside of how her model looks.
and again. i know i and the fandom do her infinitely more justice than they ever will at this point and that fact alone does make up for this all, i just wish she was remotely fun to play as and didnt feel like such a slapped together, zero-thought, near copy-paste non-asset in-game. i play her bc i love her but she also just makes me fucking sad LMAO
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#sorry for random whatever this is its been eating away at the back of my mind since release day & only worsened while playing lately lol.#im literally so fucking thankful that ive been able to work on her for so many months & that ive had such lovely experiences building#her character from the ground up with this lil corner i love you guys so sincerely & bigly for helping her grow into the character#she is currently & will grow into in the future - i just wish gun would love her w even a fingernails worth of how much we adore her.#( 'mourning' is probably overdramatic as hell but its the word that comes to mind lmao ) like i know my expectations need to stay#reigned in w/ gun & i try to but it is just. discouraging as hell w/ her in-game & then the constant worsening state of the#game on top of it not helping in the slightest lmao. anyways sorry again ignore me im just thinking too strongly about my girl-#end of: im proud of where ive been able to take her & how ive built her over this nearing year of writing her & im beyond happy w/ the#connections shes made & the stories being built & all of it. shes my oc as she stands on this acct & i truly hope i keep#building her for a long while more. sorry if u read thru all this nonsense also thank u & kisses to the sky for loving my girl w/ me <3#we all do more than gun literally ever will with any of them.#gonna go lie down & prob cry a moment & then return to Normal and try to write FNJKSD
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