#its gotta be just a ton of potatoes

[libraryspectre]

Nutrition wrapped. I wanna see how many calories I got from potatoes this year

[radioisntdead]

Accidentally stumbled onto the dark side of Tumblr again, DEAR GRACE SOME FOLKS NEED INTENSE THERAPY, or need to stop doing drugs, maybe both, my eyes, my poor, poor eyes, I need a holy water and bleach combo

Also I should watch gravity falls again

[sinecosinewheel]

urgh. im gonna vent about smth stupid to avoid my actual problems

[lupucs]

Do you have any recommendations for character modeling in blender?

Ooh boy I never know how to respond to questions like that, but I'm gonna try my best and list some stuff which helped me personally, so hopefully this will be helpful to you guys too.

A lot of what im gonna say is probably gonna sound really generic but generally speaking just watching one tutorial series and calling it a day isn't gonna cut it.

Something that helped me a whole lot was having a clear goal in mind (like I remember the first thing I wanted to do was translate my OCs in 3D). Picking something I was invested in is what pushed me to do my own research (and now its Deltarune fan animations lol). Knowing how to maintain motivation and going in with the right mindset is the most important thing imo.

I use Blender for my 3D work, which is free and open source. I personally prefer it over paid software like Maya or 3dsMax, especially for modeling and sculpting (I remember I had to use Max and Maya for a while but overall it was a pretty agonizing experience to be honest, so I switched back to Blender, which just feels a whole lot easier to use for me personally lol, but really at the end of the day just pick the software you want. This is just my personal preference). If you have a potato laptop like me, I definitely advise you to use Blender tho as it is very lightweight compared to other 3D programs, plus it can do the same things and then some. Not to mention there are way more free resources on Blender stuff so it's easier to get access to the info you need. Anyways Blender-simping over, moving on!

Tutorials are always a great idea, but you're also gonna have to learn how to do problem-solving. 3D can be a really technical and rigid medium, so being patient and knowing how to do independent learning is very important. Take a look at box-modeling, sculpting, texturing and procedural shading. Unfortunately that's gonna involve a lot of annoying situations and moments of immeasurable pain, but once you're more familiar with how things work, it's super fun and rewarding!

Don't forget to have fun and experiment! It's easy to get lost and overwhelmed by the technical aspects of 3D but it's important to just let go and make silly things. Also talking to other 3d artists with similar interests helps a ton, especially more experienced ones but I am aware not everyone has access to that (plus not everyone might want that, esp when you're an introvert like me haha!)

If you gotta sell your soul to a corporation then focusing on one particular subset is gonna be useful for animation jobs, as this is what most studios want. Some artists might like specializing into just one area, and that's totally fine but for me who prefers to be a generalist, it just kinda ruins my joy for 3D to restrict myself to just one part of it. Plus if you enjoy doing what you do, you tend to learn a lot faster anyway.

This might be a bit of an uncommon take, but one of the most stifling pieces of advice I have received from industry 3D artists is to only focus on one thing (as in, only skill up your UV-unwrapping, or only do rigging, only do hard-surface modeling, only do organic environment modeling and so on). NUH-UH! Just do what you want fam. Make the spoingle-boingles pet cats. Focus on the things you like. Make barney the dinosaur destroy the whole set. Model, rig and animate them if you want. Really, just have fun. Obviously you gotta do some self-checks and see where you need to improve, and where your strengths and weaknesses are, and focusing on those areas can be very helpful. Just make sure you're having a good time doing it, and don't be too harsh on yourself. Definitely take a break if you're overwhelmed.

You don't have to be able to draw to be good at character modeling but making turnaround sketches helps me a whole lot whenever I make 3D characters. Knowing how to draw will also benefit your sense of design and shapes, as you can use your drawing skills for texturing and adding your own flair to your models.

Another thing I would do is look at other people's 3D models and study the topology and the way they model things. This also helps a lot with motivation. Obviously you don't wanna copy, just study the way other people model things and see what other talented artists come up with! There are a bunch of free Blender rigs you can download and study on your own, not to mention useful videos and streams on YouTube. The Rain and Snow rigs are pretty awesome. Some of this stuff is behind a paywall but I recommend checking out the free resources of the "Settlers" project for highly cartoony modeling and rigging (this playlist is very useful, I didn't watch all of it but some parts have been pretty inspirational to me). Also just following 3D artists you like and looking at their art for inspiration will help you stay motivated.

Hope this is useful!

[quartarcade]

Crazy shit my friends have said but as inbox starters part 2

Part one. you are allowed to adjust these in whatever deems appropriate to your muse!

"I'm psychically passing on my brain hemorrhage onto you."

"You're at a ten I need you to being it down to a three."

"You deserve everything I send to you."

"You will die in six seconds, and I forgot how to count."

"God gave him his last breath and right now he's holding it."

"Burn in the bowels of hell like the shit you couldn't take on this day."

"Start chucking buckets, buddy."

"I'm playing 3d chess while you're out here playing baby checkers, stop eating the pieces, dumbass!"

"I hope you're in a gaming mood because you're about to speedrun the rest of your fucking life."

"Change the card color one more time and I'm changing your birth certificates date to never."

"May your fate not be the same as Icarus, you waxed-winged bitch."

"Why are there potatoes on the floor?"

"I've had just about enough of your crusty ass in my realm!"

"THAT WAS SO CHEAP IT AINT EVEN ON THE DISCOUNT RACKET. THEY'RE GIVIN IT OUT FOR FREE."

"I'm proud of my feet, they brought me to a lot of places."

"Sorry, the demons came out."

"Those nuggies are mine and that clown's a wash."

"It's not gay, it's tactical bro."

"You've stolen from my people! You've poisoned my crops!"

"I wouldn't be in your shoes, we wear different pairs of shoes."

"Your ass would have been grass and they would have mowed it."

"I'm gonna get so close to his face he's gonna see the whites of my eyes before he sees the whites of the pearly gates."

"Rome wasn't built in a day, but this ass-beating will!"

“My knees! God broke them to nerf me!”

"These arrows can tell me where to go, but only god can tell me how close hell is!"

"I took a ton of Demerol and I thought I became religious."

"She's/He's/They're dying and my lean is mixed. Let's get to work."

"I don't care what you look like so long as you look like you've met god."

"I've inserted a cow with sunglasses and now time is unstable!"

"You can't prove I lost if I'm dead."

"Instead of frozen, its colden. It was really hard breaking it together."

" I hate to tell you this, [name], but Papa John is real and He Can Hurt You."

"Everyone knows the C in Chess stands for Cuck."

"You don't know what that pufferfish did."

"I like my men lean and mean.. and preferably a machine."

"I GOTTA SHOOT BACK TO CHRISTMAS."

"If they are the 1% they're gonna get 100% of these hands."

"Waste my time once more, Petty Man."

"FUCK YOU YOU WANNA TEST GOD? I WANNA TEST CHILLI'S!"

"Everybody knows that the perfect gamer cup is a red solo cup that has a bite taken out of it."

"I did kill myself once and won."

"Someone's fucking corpse just flung into me and reversed the polarity, the alignment, and the religious affiliation of my knees."

"I gotta go mow my drive thru."

"Does his mom love him? I sure hope so."

"Who knows? The power of fish is endless."

"I'm gonna dox you so I can beat your ass publicly".

"Because I saw the future, and you're not in it."

"Want me to cancel your heartbeat? There you go!"

"We got no time to fuck around, only to find out."

"What's stupid is thinking you need permission to ask questions."

[realpapaemeritusiv]

🔫 Tell everyone about gianni rn or I’ll shoot (it’s full of water) (just regular water but it’s like just slightly cold)

damn guess i gotta tell the world about my main boy gianni. it'll be under a cut bc its long as shit

okay so this right here

is gianni (technically gianni copia emeritus if we're going by full legal names here). we've made our own lore and i hope eventually you'll make a masterpost of it so if i write stuff later on i can include the link as a reference for anyone that might choose to read it bc honestly i think the lore that we've altered and made up is really interesting and i think people might enjoy reading it one day. anyway, onto the meat and potatoes of this.

so, with the lore that we've created, gianni is the twin brother of copia (named giorgio/gio in our lore bc honestly he needed a name and that name slaps) born to nihil and lucifer (i am 100% down to answer more questions on this bc this slaps also ik owen will def be down to answer questions about that little tidbit or it might be in the headcanon tag on their blog).

there's a bit of a branching path with him because i go back and forth between having them be raised together until they're both 10 or until they're both 5, but the constant is nihil having to send away one son to keep them safe from imperator (named cirice in our lore and will be called that for the duration of this post just to keep things streamlined). from 5/10 until his mid to late 30s, gianni worked his way up in the ranks of an abbey in italy that i think i made up. honestly, he was completely taken advantage of in that abbey, being worked to near death by the cardinals and siblings of sin (fun fact this man is a people pleaser to the max and also physically cannot take a single day off and has actually almost died from it). while literally being overworked by pure luck he managed to meet a special someone (you'll shit when you find out who it is) and starts a little sneaky relationship with them.

the person? temptesa, aka our own rain ghoul. (i'm sure owen's posted lore about it so go check it for more deets). they probably get a good year or two together and exchange rings before his beloved is sent away without his knowledge (to Linköping by pure luck where they're later reunited and i'll def expand on that if anyone wants to know more)

so he's eventually asked to return to the abbey as a cardinal (that we placed in Linköping just for simplicities sake and to have one cohesive area anytime the abbey's mentioned) and arrives back home after 25-30 years to one of 2 things

the previous papas already having been executed by cirice and prepared for the veneration of relics and everyone in the abbey absolutely depressed

or

during anti christmas :)

i haven't really taken the time to build the lore on everything that happens immediately after he's returned home, but he does continue his work as a cardinal and watching as his twin becomes papa and tours the world spreading the word of the church

UNTIL

he gets to play papa one time because his brother's way too sick to perform the ritual/show and he's the only one available who can fill the role. he literally crams learning all the songs in like 11 hours and is such a nervous wreck before that first show and he def barfs at least once before he goes on stage for the first time.

this man is a whole ass natural at being on that stage. talks to the crowd, puts his whole self into every song, and literally stays a few hours after that first show just to talk to anyone who stays after bc this man loves the fans, adores them tbh.

he finally gets his chance to be papa when gio wants to step down and focus on starting a family with his wife (who i am also 100% down to talk about later, not rn tho this is gianni time) and this man puts his entire being into being a good papa. he doesn't take a salary, pushes for the ghouls to be equal to him, defends the ghouls (and there's a ton of stuff i could talk about when it comes to him with the ghouls bc this man is lowkey a whore), and just pretty much revamps the church from the ground up and has the ghouls finally be equals to everyone else.

that's just a lil taste of gianni tbh bc there's so much more i could talk about but i gotta workshop some of it still

[unpleasant-ghoul]

Got a sudden urge to play Skyrim again. Being an old pirate I'm pirating it, as always (ye, always. Sometimes I delete the game. And then months or years later I'm like "ooops, looks like i wasn't done with this one!")

Normally I go with the Legendary Edition. And then slap half a ton of mods onto it because it looks like it's carved out of soap in its default state. I'm not talking "big tiddies and youthful faces" kinda mods, that ain't me. I mean, I've only ever had one Dovahkiin, recreating him as he is each time, and he's a scarred, wrinkly, pale, creepy guy. Very, very handsome in my weirdo opinion.

Gotta pick carefully to get him lookin' nice n HD while preserving that charming impression of "someone took a small dragon skull, tried to mold it like a chunk of clay into an elf face, abandoned it without finishing in a dark, wet cave for half a century, then it developed a body and crawled out" (not his actual backstory. He was born, like a normal person. It did happen in a cave, though).

But the thing is, there WAS no LE this time! Well, there was, but not from the guys I normally get it from so it wouldn't feel right.

SE it is! And Anniversary version of it at that, if I'm trying old things the new way anyway.

So here I am, downloading the latest version I've found. Looking through mods for SSE while I'm at it, RaceMenu definitely (new version or not, I really don't think I'm getting THAT skin tone without a mod to help me. Dude is fucking PALE. If he laid down naked in the snow, you'd only see hair, eyes, and tattoos), not sure about the rest.

Looks like I'll need a mod for survival, despite it being included: wiki says there's sickness from raw meat, but I headcanon my Dovahkiin both liking it and being surprisingly well-adapted for digesting it, so default survival mode will clash with that.

Bandolier will also be needed, despite backpacks being there: my character just isn't a backpack guy. Travel light, move fast and quiet, all that.

Think I'll go without the bathing mod this time. It was cool, but... Eh.

Hunterborn's a must have, so is something for harder combat.

Magic... If I can remember what I USED to use and it's available for SSE. There was some good stuff but I just can't remember the names.

...

Remembered the names, and they're available for SSE. That was easy. Now a mod for followers riding - that's harder. What I used for SLE isn't available for SSE, so I guess I'll have to pick whatever seems okay and hope it works.

...

Still not asleep, and I've found a SSE's equivalent to vanilla Skyrim's Dragonborn Body mod (a mod that lets you have your Dovahkiin be your special little potato instead of using same textures as the NPC). So doing a little fucking around with textures because I'd rather slap some scars right onto the skin textures than download a mod and find out it doesn't allow for the specific kind, size and amount of scars that I headcanon my character with.

[arjaandsimoni]

Bet Your Life

Smith family ranch, early evening

Now that things had calmed down, the extended Smith family had agreed on one thing. Insane circumstances or not, Nelen and the kids had saved their lives that night and as firm believers in southern hospitality they refused to let a good deed go unrewarded.

Two huge picnic tables were set up outside the ranch, laden with fresh roast beef, potato salad, green beans, and other southern traditions. In deference to Arja and Simoni’s dietary restrictions they had even baked some drumsticks and had pulled pork for sandwiches.

“Eat up ya’ll!” grinned Joseph, waving his cane. “Ya’ll done right by us, but we ain’t gonna be savin’ ya from the boogums. Best we can do is make sure yer tanks are full fer whatever lies ahead.”

Simoni chewed a bit on the chicken, then blinked, then started scarfing it down with much more gusto. She had been eyeing the red meat, but the drumsticks were spicy with a hint of lime and some other tastes she couldn’t identify. “Holy dang these are sooooo good!” she said through a mouthful of masticated meat, washing it down with some soda. “Tara did you make these?” she asked, looking across the table.

Tara smirked, “Nope, believe it or not that was my lil’ cowboy here.” she grinned, pointing to Tex as his face reddened.

Simoni turned to Tex, her eyebrows going up. “OH! Um… w-well, you did a really good job…” she blushed.

Tex shrugged it off, looking a bit flustered as Stephy giggled, “I helped, but yeah. Tex actually cooks a lot back home too. Honestly he does it more than Tara does. She mostly manages the garden out back.”

Tex’s face reddened deeper, “Jus’ a recipe I picked up as a kid…” he muttered sheepishly.

Nelen took up a piece of ribs and tore the meat off with his teeth, then gestured with the now empty bone, “Hey. Don’t knock it. It’s a damn useful skill to have. Would’ve saved me and Dawn a ton of money over the years… though almost none of the places we stayed at had the tools anyways.” he shrugged as Dawn pulled the crispy skin off a drumstick, then ripped the meat apart with her fangs, purring loudly.

Tex grinned a bit, “I mean, jus’ a hobby. Not like cookin’ is, yanno, inherently girly…” he coughed, blushing.

Dawn chewed, swallowed, then counted off on her fingers, “… Emeril Lagasse, Paul Prudhomme, Wolfgang Puck, Gordon Ramsey.” she said, glancing up.

They all turned to look at her, she sighed, “Food. Network. I grew up watching cable TV. In hotels. Seriously guys I’m starting to get sick of this gag!” she mrowled in annoyance, then lapped some water out of her glass, “Point is, plenty of guy chefs out there. Besides, no cat is gonna gripe at any human knowing how to make food.” she grinned widely.

The only one in absentia was Natasha, who had remained at the bed & breakfast in the nearby town. The sun was still up after all, and it wasn’t like she could sample the goods anyways. Vampirism came with many drawbacks and one of the bigger ones was that it wasn’t just that she had to drink blood, its that it was all she could eat or drink. Vampires were hemovores and ingesting anything except blood would result in a rather violent case of indigestion. Not on the level of Merihim’s wrath, but someone would still have to clean that up.

Arja grinned, chowing down on a pulled pork sandwich with eagerness, “Still, gotta love American food. Not as spicy as the stuff back home for my taste, but you can’t beat it for good comfort stuff.”

Nearby Sammi idly picked at his green beans and mashed potatoes, “So you say Arja… pity that its far too spicy for the likes of me…” he sighed.

Tex frowned a bit at that, patting Stephy’s hand, “Wish ya’ll’d warned us about that lil’ filly. We’d have made sure to make some plain ones fer ya.” he grinned apologetically.

“Its okay Tex!” he smiled back, “I mean heck, you know how I used to live. ANY food is good food as far as I’m concerned.” he nodded.

Nearby Lupe dug into a plate of torn up beef and pork, her tail kicking up a proverbial dust storm behind her as the feral werewolf had the feast of her life so far. Natasha took good care of her, but no vampires would ever be good chefs. She sat up after licking the bowl clean, licking her chops with a big doggy grin, then her head perked up and she sniffed at the air. “Rrf?” she grunted, looking around, then got to her feet and padded off, sniffing at the ground as she followed her nose.

Simoni looked up from her plate, watching her go, “Hey, where’s Lupe going?” she asked.

Dawn grinned, “Probably gonna go mark her territory.” she grinned as Elizabeth frowned, but both Tim and Jessie laughed.

Lupe’s mind wasn’t on making room for seconds as it were however. She smelled something… unusual… she followed it to a seemingly random patch of dirt near the fence surrounding the farm, then started to dig. A moment later a loud pained YELP echoed across the field.

Stephy and Tex jumped up along with Arja and Simoni, the four racing off in the direction the werewolf had gone, only to find her whining and licking at her forepaws which now sported nasty looking blisters! “Ho dang… what the heck coulda done this to ‘er? Thought werewolves were supposed ta be super tough or somethin!” he said, examining her burns.

Stephy however looked at the hole she had dug up, seeing something shiny in the dirt. “… Silver…” he whispered, reaching down and scooping out the loose earth, “She burned herself on it. There’s something in here..." he murmured, pulling out a small solid silver box inscribed with a crucifix and the names of several saints.

“Blessed silver…” murmured Simoni, “Someone really went out of their way to protect whatever is in there…”

Stephy froze the lock with a quick whisper, then smacked it with a rock to shatter it, the soft metal made brittle enough that even he could break it, then popped it open.

Inside was a small leather-bound journal, the faerie opened it and read the first page, his eyes going huge. “Tex… you need to see this…” he said, handing it over.

Tex took it from him, “This journal belongs to Edward Smith…” he read, then stared, “T-that was my uncle! He disappeared ages ago, we all thought he’d run off to another state or somethin’!”

The Texan boy flipped through the pages, all the way to the back, then paused at the last one, “… oh shit…” he murmured, reading aloud, “… ‘I’ve finally found it, th’ secret of that bastard McCall’s power. He ain’t th’ great grandson of th’ founder o’ McCall Amusements, he IS th’ founder! He’s been keepin’ himself alive fer years by lurin’ in people with gamblin’ debt ‘n gettin’ ‘em ta bet their lives, then winnin’ ‘em!’” he said, his eyes darting along the page.

Stephy gasped as Simoni frowned, “That’s why he’s so eager to get his hands on the ranch. This journal exposes his secret!” she nodded.

Stephy shook his head, “Exposes it to people like us, but no mundane is gonna believe that. They’ll just think Tex’s uncle was crazy.”

Tex read on however, “… ‘Whats more, I know how ‘e does it. The bastard sold his soul ta a demon from Hell itself, and I know which one! I daren’t write his name ‘ere, but I’ve drawn his sigil below… Knowin’ it lets ya’ll demand a poker game with McCall. I’m gonna try ta put an end ta this tonight… but if I fail, I beg whoever finds this, finish what I started! Monsters like him shouldn’t walk th’ earth…’”

He lowered the journal. On the page was a drawing of a sigil. Even though it was drawn in pencil the lines seemed to glow a baleful crimson:

As he looked it over a shadow fell over the group. Nelen stood there, “Whats up guys? Lupe okay?” he asked, then saw the journal and what was on the page, his eyes going wide as his arm suddenly spasmed violently! “AGH! SHIT!” he snarled, grabbing it and pinning it down.

“Nelen! We found out why those vampires came to the ranch! The one who sent them, Henry McCall the Casino Owner, he’s a warlock!” said Stephy, pointing to the symbol on the page, “That’s his patron, but the book says if we know who it is we can demand a poker match and all we have to do is beat him to get rid of him.”

Nelen looked at it again, shaking his head, “No. No way. I know who that one is, don’t even think about it.” he frowned.

“Don’t even…” started Tex, “That son of a bitch tried ta kill my family!” he shouted, standing up.

“Yeah! I know, and he’s a compete bastard for doing so, but you do NOT want to go up against that!” he snapped back, pointing at the sigil.

Tex glared, “Why. Gimme one good reason.” he frowned at him.

“That is the sigil of one of the seven archdukes of Hell, the personifications of the Seven Deadly Sins.” he warned, “He’s out of your league, my league, all our leagues. My best suggestion is send that journal to him anonymously and hope he goes the hell away.” he nodded firmly.

Tex glared back, then slowly nodded, “… okaaaay, that’s a pretty good reason… but would that even stop ‘im? He’d know we’d seen it then! He might just send some other nasties ta silence us permanently!” he shouted.

Nelen frowned, then after a long moment he sighed, “I don’t have a good answer to that, but take it from me Tex. You do not wanna tangle with Hell. I’m not going to give you the bullshit feel good stuff the preachers do. Faith is no more your shield than a garbage can lid there. If a demon gets his hands on you, there’s not enough prayer in the world to save you then.”

He nodded curtly, then walked back to the picnic tables as the four of them stood up slowly, “Damn… dammit he’s really scared. That guy fuckin’ drove over a vampire last night ‘n let another bite ‘im and he’s scared…” frowned Tex.

Simoni nodded, “He’s got good reason to be.” she replied. “If McCall has one of the seven on his side then he really is too powerful for us Tex…” she warned, glancing at him.

Tex just grumbled, sticking the journal in his back pocket and going over to the tables as well. After a minute the other four joined him.

Later that night

Azure wings soared out over the desert as Stephy flew towards the lights of Houston, aiming towards one huge building in particular. McCall Amusements, a casino built right along the gulf coast near a very profitable stretch of beach, right near all the best restaurants, a glittering tower to all the money that could be made with a throw of the dice or a turn of the card. Riding on his back, holding on as tight as he could, was Tex.

Stephy landed out of sight, letting Tex slide off him, and changed back, taking his sandals back from Tex and sliding them on. “We’re really doing this huh?” he asked.

“Look, I get wut yer cousin’ said… but I know I’m right too. Even if we turned th’ journal over ta McCall that’d just tell ‘im that we know now, ‘n he’d prolly just have his boys torch the ranch or somethin’.” he sighed.

Stephy nodded, “Yeah, but if the journal is right he’s been doing this for years and years… I mean this place was founded during the old days of the Wild West wasn’t it? He’s gotta be an incredibly good poker play-…” he started as a bus hissed to a stop nearby, the doors opening as a pair of heels beat out an angry rhythm towards them.

“What. Bloody part. Of ‘I must stay near you and your’s’ do you not GET?!”  snapped Sammi. “The YOU part is the important one!” he huffed, folding his arms over his torso. He was dressed in the same silken shirt, slacks, and dress shoes he’d worn to dinner, but his hair looked a lot more messy than usual and his shirt was rumpled. Sitting on his shoulder with a huge grin was Dawn in her cat form.

Stephy stared at his faerie sibling, looking him up and down as if unable to believe he was actually there. “How…” he started…

Sammi sighed, looking up, “Freak minor earthquake made me take a tumble out the bedroom window onto a cow who bolted in panic at the sudden shaking and ran all the way to the nearest town before bucking me into a truck which then drove all the way here to Houston with me hanging onto the rear bumper for dear life. From there it made sense why and I just needed a bus schedule.” he huffed in an annoyed way.

Stephy blinked slowly, “That’s how Fate conspires to keep us together huh?” he asked.

Sammi frowned, “You flew off to Houston, sometimes Fate won’t be subtle about it.” he nodded firmly, glaring at his adoptive sibling.

Stephy nodded, “Okay fair enough, but why is DAWN here?” he asked, gesturing to the feline sitting astride Sammi’s shoulder like a grinning furry parrot.

Two hours earlier

Dawn looked up at Nelen as he got his shirt off for bed, “You know they’re going to go.” she smirked at him.

Nelen sighed, “Yeah, I know. So what I want YOU to do is go with them. If shit hits the fan teleport them to safety and initiate plan fifty-three and a half.” he replied.

Dawn grinned, “Run like hell from Hell, right. Knowing how this goes Sammi should be showing up right aboooooout…”

From outside the window came a distant voice, “BLOODY BEAST STOP RUNNING! STOP! AUGH! OH NO NO NO NO NO!”

Dawn cackled, “There’s my ride, gotta go!” she grinned widely, then vanished with a poof.

Houston, Outside of McCall Amusements

Dawn just smirked and licked at her paw, “Oh, you know cats. We always turn up when there’s fun to be had.” she giggled, her tail swishing as she teleported from Sammi’s shoulder to Stephy’s, stretching out across his shoulders like a mink stole and yawning widely.

The four of them looked up at the Casino, then began to walk up towards the entryway. The doorman however stopped them. “Sorry kids, nobody under twenty-one years of age in the Casino without a parent or guardian. Feel free to come back in a few years.”

Dawn grinned widely, her eyes flashing at him, then the group walked in as the doorman broke into an impressive soft-shoe routine of ‘Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head.’

Sammi chuckled at that, “I could have just used some glamour to make us look like adults you know…”

Dawn shrugged, “My way is funner.”

Eventually however they got to the front desk, the attendant looking down at them. “Yes? Can I help you? Did you kids get separated from your parents?” she asked.

Tex shook his head, “We got somethin’ fer yer boss. Found a journal he’d be interested in. Tell him it says somethin’ about a ‘business partner’ o’ his.” he grinned.

The woman frowned, but picked up a phone and dialed a number, “Hi, Peggy? I got some weird kids down here who said that Mr. McCall might want to see them about… a journal? Something about a business partner?” she stated. “Should I just call the… oh? Oh really? Um… o-okay, sure, I’ll do that.” she nodded, then took a name badge on a lanyard with the letters ‘VIP’ on it, handing it over. “Go right there to the elevator and insert it into the card reader. It’ll take you to Mr. McCall’s office.” she instructed, looking very confused.

Tex nodded to her, “Thank ya’ll kindly.” he smiled, the group walking away towards the elevators.

As they did Sammi nodded, “Mm… it stinks in here, can you smell it Stephy?” he asked.

Stephy nodded back, “Yeah… its like… hot melted metal and sweat and…” he murmured.

“Greed.” nodded the fae prince, “Fresh, hot greed.” he grinned, “Didn’t need a silly journal to tell you who his patron was. Anyone touched by the fae who walked in here would know.”

Tex said nothing, just giving a curt nod as they entered the elevator, then rode it up to the penthouse.

When they got there a woman, presumably ‘Peggy,’ buzzed them through. The interior room had low lighting over a small poker table set up in the middle and seated at it was a man in an expensive suit with an honest to gods waxed mustache and beard. “So, you’re Trixie Smith I believe?” he asked. He had dark hair and wore a black hat with a silver buckle on the front, a picture of a shiny gold coin in the center of it.

Tex’s face colored, “That’s John thank ya’ll kindly, Tex’ll do.” he replied as Stephy gave his hand a squeeze, glaring at McCall. He was able to sense emotions, he could tell the man did that on purpose.

The man looked at his smartphone, then shrugged and pursed his lips, “Beggin’ yer pardon Sir… appears my information is a touch outta date.” he smirked. “So, ya’ll found out mah dirty little secret ‘n now ya’ll wanna try to beat the house huh?” he asked, his voice carrying the drawl of an old western man. It’d be easy to imagine him as a card shark or a snake oil salesman in some movie. “Well, fine. Them’s the rules, ‘n besides… young man like you oughta have a lotta years ta bank.” he nodded, gesturing to the chair.

Stephy and Sammi stepped forward, but McCall held out a hand, “Nuh uh. Sorry you two, but humans only. Faerie years are like faerie gold, disappear in the mornin’ like mist. Besides, never play cards with someone who can fuck with fate.” he nodded.

The two frowned, then took a step back. Stephy held Tex’s hand tighter, but the boy nodded, “I gotta do this darlin’…” he said, taking a seat at the table.

As he did there was a scent of brimstone, and a dealer appeared standing next to it. Tex couldn’t see his face in the gloom, but his eyes burned like coals in the darkness.

"The game is five card draw, Jokers wild. Play will continue until either Henry McCall or John ‘Tex’ Smith is rendered bankrupt." it intoned.

Next to Tex and McCall, a pile of poker chips appeared. They seemed to have an ephemeral quality to them, as if they weren’t entirely there, each one stamped with a clock face with the hands slowly turning in a circle and the words ‘one year’ along the rim. Tex noticed McCall’s pile was a LOT bigger than his…

The dealer delt out five cards apiece, and the game began.

Five hands in and McCall seemed to be on the defensive, Tex having bet heavy and folded on bad hands enough to actually enlarge his pile somewhat, but he had a good way to go. “Gotta admit son, ya’ll did bettern’ your uncle did. Had him down in’ five hands.” commented McCall, “Man did NOT have a poker face…” he tutted.

Tex’s cheeks reddened, but he forced himself to calm down. Keeping his face blank and empty of emotion was the only way he could hope to win this. Let McCall wonder what his hand held.

The cards came out again, Tex wound up winning with three of a kind to McCall’s two pair. Then McCall beat his measly Ace High with a Full House. On and on the cards were flipped, until the chips were almost even… and then Tex saw something behind McCall…

… a pair of yellow eyes shining in the darkness.

He looked at his hand, a full house. Not a guaranteed win… but… he reached out, then shoved all his chips forward. “All in.” nodded Tex.

Henry looked him over, the man noticing a faint flash in the darkness behind Tex, then smirked, “All in eh? Well, suppose we gotta end it sometime.” he smirked, “Right, stand then.” he nodded as they showed their hands.

Tex had two Queens, three Eights.

McCall had a Jack, Ten, Nine, Eight, and… a Four…

McCall smirked at him, then glanced down, and his face fell as he saw what was there. “Wait… no… that’s not right, that was a seven not a four!” he shouted, standing up.

Stephy smirked, “Oh? You sure?” he asked with a knowing grin.

Sammi giggled, “The game has been going on a long time Henry… are you sure your eyes are not playing tricks on you?” he teased.

Then a voice echoed, “You sure you weren’t just…” and then with a pop Dawn appeared next to Tex, grinning widely, “… seeing things?” she asked.

McCall stared, “… a Cheshire… a fucking CHESHIRE!” he stood up quickly, “SON OF A BITCH! YOU MADE ME SEE THE SEVEN!” he snarled, pointing an accusing finger at her.

Dawn cackled, “HA! Hey, he knew about it!” she smirked, then hissed as her tail floofed as McCall reached into his coat and pulled out a handgun, leveling it at them.

“You little shits! I’ll…” he started, then gasped as his hand suddenly spasmed. He dropped the gun to the table, gripping his wrist in pain as his hand began to shrivel in on itself, liver spots appearing on his flesh as his veins began to stand out against paper-thin skin, his hair going whispy and white on the back of his hand. “N-no…” he gasped in horror.

"Henry McCall is bankrupt." spoke the dealer. "The game goes to John ‘Tex’ Smith."

McCall glared at them, his face a mask of rage as his eyes began to sink into his skull, his cheeks turning sallow as his beard and mustache grew rapidly, going from jet black to stark white. “NO! IT DOESN’T END LIKE THIS!” he snarled, reaching across the table… then clutching at his chest as he grimaced in pain, “No… I don’t…” he gasped out, “I don’t wanna… go to… Hell…" his voice creaked out at the last, and slowly he fell forward onto the table with a thud, nothing left but a mummified corpse in an expensive suit.

“… well I coulda fuckin’ lived without seeing that…” whistled Tex as he stood up. “So… now what?”

As he did however the elevator dinged in the next room, and a moment later the door opened.

Mr. Maroon strolled in, wearing his purple suit and his bifocal glasses, his hair slicked back in a combover. He looked at the corpse on the table and shook his head, “Damn it all, I warned him…” he sighed as if looking at a schoolboy who despite constant tutoring simply didn’t get the lesson.

Tex stood up, looking over at Maroon. “You… warned him?” he asked, “Wait, you knew he was a warlock?!” he shouted.

Maroon looked at him, then smirked, “Well yes, of course I did. How could I not?” he asked.

Sammi snapped his fingers, “Ah… I thought something about you felt strange… it was staring us in the face the whole time!” he nodded. “You’re his partner. The names even sound similar! Maroon…” he began.

Mr. Maroon smirked, then took off his glasses and tucked them into his breast pocket, closing his eyes. There was a faint ca-ching sound, and when he opened them again they were solid gold orbs, the man smiling widely. “… Mammon. Very good.” replied the Archduke of Hell.

Tex glared at him, “So… now what. Ya’ll wanna get revenge?” he glared at the demon.

Mammon looked at him, cocking his head, “… why, no. Why would I? Henry performed his duties exactly as requested for several lifetimes. He just got careless in the end is all.” he shrugged. “It was foolishness to waste so much time and effort on finding a journal that nobody else knew even existed…” he sighed, “But… well, that’s just so very human of him.” he smirked, walking over to the window and looking out over the casino. “I have everything I want right here. Henry is no longer necessary.”

Tex frowned, then the group walked over and looked out the window at the massive casino floor where slot machines beeped, cards were dealt, roulette wheels spinned, and more money changed hands in a single night than entire towns might see in a year. “Tell me children, what do you see when you look out this window?” asked Mammon.

Tex shrugged, “A casino, a gamblin’ hall.” he replied.

Mammon smiled, “I see… a prayer wheel. People come here every day and spend money chasing that dream, chasing the desire to gain something for nothing, the hope that they can become rich in a single night! Their greed permeates the building, turning it into a superconductor for my court back below.” he chuckled, “Henry got it all started, and I ensured that his business rivals and other obstacles went under, or were bought out, or… well… encountered accidents…”

Tex frowned at him, “Accidents like vampire attacks…” he glared, making sure to stay between Mammon and Stephy.

Mammon sighed, “I told the man not to… its not my fault he didn’t listen. Even had you not stopped Coyote and his men the police would certainly have investigated a family getting slaughtered like that.” he walked over to the mummified corpse of Henry McCall, “Henry you damned fool… Immortality made you careless.” he tutted, then waved a hand.

Henry McCall sat slumped in his chair, eyes rolled back and mouth hanging slack, clearly dead but looking otherwise perfectly normal. “There, the coroner’s report will show that he died of a weak blood vessel in his brain bursting. Very tragic, family history and all that.” he shook his head, “And then the board will appoint a new CEO of McCall Amusements and life will go on.” he chuckled, “Perhaps a nice statue of him, in bronze, in the floor of the casino. A little memorial to the last of the McCall family.”

Tex frowned, “And what about the people he killed then?” he demanded, stepping towards Mammon. “Yer just gonna ignore all that?” he asked.

Mammon turned to him, golden orbs meeting Tex’s blue eyes… and for a moment, Tex saw the man behind the curtain.

He stood before a giant of a man, his entire body gleaming gold with gemstones for teeth and on his finger and toenails, sitting atop a mountain of gold, jewels, and other treasures. His body shimmered with heat, and his chest split open to reveal he was totally empty inside. The manifestation of the hollow wealth that all men and women chase until their dying day, and how destructive that chase can truly be.

At his right was a goblet full of steaming blood, spilled by every mugger, every burglar, everyone who’d ever knifed another for their wallet. At his left was another goblet full of tears to the point he could smell the saltiness, the tears of those who died unable to afford their medicines because drug companies were allowed to overcharge for them, of those who worked themselves to death in mines or plantations for people who treated them as slaves, of those who suffered with barely enough to live because some rich CEO wanted more for themselves and to hell with anyone else.

Tex also realized that to a creature like Mammon, crushing him would be no different than stepping on an ant.

“Why yes. I am. What are you going to do about that young man?” asked Mammon’s voice, echoing in his skull, and suddenly he was back in the guise of Mr. Maroon. “I have no claim on your soul John ‘Tex’ Smith, unless you give it to me, and your companions are beyond Hell’s reach…” he glanced at the two fae, “… for now.” he smirked. “Go home. My casino will continue to generate power for my court, the new CEO will just be another faceless human in a suit. Your little ranch is safe from us. We have no reason to care now. Do give Merihim my regards however, we’re all watching his current job with great interest.” he nodded, waving his hand dismissively.

Stephy took hold of Tex’s shoulder, “We should go Tex… c’mon…” he said, nodding to the door as Mammon grinned at them, Sammi already retreating back to the elevator.

Tex glared back one last time, his hand going to the pocket that held the Very Useful Deck… then he thought better of it and turned on his heel. “He ain’t worth it…” he grumbled.

As the elevator went down Stephy blinked, looking at Sammi, “Wait, I flew Tex here, how are we gonna get back?” he asked.

Dawn just grinned, “That’s how.” she said, pointing a paw.

Parked outside was an SUV that the police were probably still looking for, a disgruntled warlock leaning against it.

The following day

If Joshua was able to, he’d be jumping for joy at the morning news. As it was he did a sort of little old man hobble dance around the kitchen as the newscaster announced local businessman Henry McCall was found dead in his penthouse.

“It is with deepest sadness that I announce the passing of our CEO.” said Mr. Maroon into a microphone on the TV, “Rest assured, there is no evidence of foul play. Henry McCall had a family history of medical complications and tragically one of them claimed his life last night. The board of directors will meet this Friday to name a new CEO to take his place, and we are beginning plans to divest his will. I myself will be helping to finance a memorial for the lobby for the man whose vision created such a successful business and so many jobs for the city of Houston.” he said.

Joshua cackled, “Maroon ya stuffed shirt ya’ll can SUCK IT! He’s dead! He’s dead ‘n gone ta Hell where he belongs! WHOOPIE!” cheered the old man, waving his cane.

Sammi shook his head, “Oh you have no idea…” he murmured, watching him dance and soaking up the emotions, tasting of fresh warm chocolate to the faerie’s senses.

Tara sighed, “Well, if that’s all sorted then we should prolly consider headin’ back north. It’ll be Fall soon ‘n I gotta worry ‘bout gettin’ Tex ‘n Stephy enrolled for school.”

At this Stephy sat up, “HUH? Wait, but…” he stammered.

Tara raised her eyebrow, “Sweetie, didja think you wouldn’t? Faerie or not, th’ rest o’ th’ world still thinks yer a young…” she looked him over, “… kid.”

Stephy pouted, “But Tara! I… I mean…” he gestured to himself.

Tex smirked, patting his hand, “It’ll be alright lil’ filly. Ya’ll be spendin’ th’ past few weeks like that ‘n nobody been th’ wiser about whats under them skirts. Besides, we live together remember? Where ya’ll go, I’ll go. Ya think I ain’t gonna watch out fer ya?” he grinned, kissing his cheek.

Stephy blushed brightly, then smiled and squirmed in his chair, “Fiiiine, I just… mmmph…” he giggled a bit, kicking his legs.

Sammi hissed a little, fanning himself, “Turn it down you two! That’s like sitting next to a bonfire for me! How do you not feel that?” he asked Stephy.

Stephy blinked, “… huh, that’s… a really good question.” he replied, “Maybe its because my title is different? Everfalling Snow?” he tried.

Sammi huffed, “Still fits the theme darling.” he sighed, “Oh well, it will be nice to get back to a part of the world that has proper seasons again at least.”

Tex smirked, “Ya’ll got us there Prince.” he chuckled, “Texas’ got ‘hot,’ ‘hotter,’ ‘hot ‘n wet,’ ‘n ‘maybe I could use a jacket.’” he nodded, grinning at Sammi’s annoyance.

After saying their goodbyes and a hug between the two Smith sisters, Tara’s truck pulled out of the drive, heading back towards the interstate north.

“Dang… just… is our life just gonna be crazy like that now?” asked Tex. “I mean, I knew comin’ back to see th’ family might be a little weird with th’ two of you in tow… but… that got kinda nuts…” he muttered.

Sammi chuckled, “Indeed… vampires, a train to the underworld, thwarting the Everblooming Rose, and facing down an Archduke himself…” he smirked, shaking his head, then threw it back and laughed, “I haven’t had so much fun in DECADES!” he grinned at them.

Stephy rolled his eyes, “Yeah, and all you had to do was chain me up and drag me off to Arcadia… how nice for you…” he huffed.

At that Sammi paused, “… if it does help, I do genuinely feel bad about that…” he admitted, “I was desperate to escape, you were there… I didn’t give any thought to who I was grabbing, just that it meant someone else would be there instead of me…” he murmured, glancing away out the back window.

Tex and Tara huffed, the former looking pointedly out the window as Tara pursed her lips and focused on the road, but Stephy nodded slowly. “Yeah… I get it, I saw how terrified that changeling back in Houston was that Isolde would catch her and I remember what Lady Sera did to me… but… I wanna believe that I can actually show her what it really means to be a mother.”

Sammi shrugged, “Well, why not? After this week I’d almost believe you could pull it off.” he smirked.

Tex smiled, patting Stephy’s hand, “Hey, he helped me out in all sorts of ways.” he grinned, knocking his fist into his chest to show what wasn’t there anymore. “Maybe mah lil’ filly can do it.” he smiled.

Stephy smiled back at him, then leaned into Tex, “Still. I hope we’re back north soon… the air conditioner is going full blast and I still feel like I can barely breathe in here." he pouted.

Sammi smirked, “Oh I can fix thaaaaaaat.” he smiled, then raised his hand… a moment later Tara and Tex yelped as a localized snowstorm materialized INSIDE the truck!

“SON OF A BITCH!” shouted Tara as the truck swerved on the thankfully empty dirt road back towards Houston.

“SAM YA FREAKIN’ IDIOT!” growled Tex.

Stephy eeped and held on as the truck swerved, “I-I appreciate it Sammi, but can’t you just make it cooler instead?”

Sammi chuckled, catching some snow, then licking it out of his hand. “Oh? But its so pleasant in here now! Besides, aren’t you the princess of ‘Everfalling Snow?’” he teased.

Stephy giggled at that, he couldn’t help it, even as Tara and Tex cursed, brushing snow off their laps and arms. He was sarcastic, annoying, and hard to deal with… but dammit, sometimes brothers just were. The windows rolled down and snow was shoved out onto the road to melt into nothingness in the Texas heat as the Smith Family, plus one, returned home.

Next Story

Previous Story

[lettuce-seize-the-day]

ok found something else that sucks abt the dining situation: i Literally Have to eat as much as i can when i go to the dining hall because it is Never Fucking Open, and with how expensive the meal plan is i can't afford regular groceries

[dinosaurtsukki]

haikyuu!! buzzfeed unsolved AU

OK THIS IS THE LAST BUZZFEED UNSOLVED RELATED HEADCANON SET I PROMISE 

[edit: check out the link at the bottom of the post for more buzzfeed unsolved au content :)]

hinata and kageyama:

90% of the show is them yelling and nobody watches it with earphones on

both of them believe in ghosts but that doesn't mean they want to see one

hinata will literally go to the bathroom five times before going to the spooky house and kageyama gets mad at him for it but there is Fear in his eyes

producer: 'were you scared?'

kageyama: 'pfft, no'

cameraman: *points camera down to show that kageyama's legs are shaking*

they also bring a shit ton of food with them when they stay the night at a place and they'll deadass be eating while talking about the history of the place

‘this house *crunch crunch* was built in *crunch crunch* 1972'

the producers tell them to stop bringing snacks but fans of the show love it

sometimes they'll shoot a mini mukbang video

SPICY, BARBECUE POTATO FRIES | Mukbang at the Waverly Hills Asylum'

hinata: *looking up how to do a seance on wikihow* it says we gotta offer some food for the spirit

kageyama: *spills the doritos he was eating on the table

*after 20 minutes*

kageyama: fuck this

hinata: *starts eating the doritos*

producer: ...

the ghosts: ..................the, audacity

tsukishima and yamaguchi

pretty much a ryan and shane duo right here

yamaguchi: we'll be visiting this place as part of our ongoing investigation on the question, are ghosts real?

tsukishima: *shakes head*

yamaguchi just wants to see the look of fear in tsukishima’s eyes at least once

yamaguchi: *hears a random thump sound* fUCk tSuKkI a gHoSt!!!

tsukishima: *sees a chair being tossed across the room* huh, the wind is pretty strong today

he likes to stick his head into attics to scare yamaguchi

yamaguchi always carries a water gun full of holy water

yamaguchi: i have holy water with me and i'm not afraid to use it! but i'm also sorry you had to die such a horrible death i hope you find peace soon

tsukishima: *walks into a basement that is supposedly a portal to hell* fuckin’ take me already

so many 'yamaguchi being an angel and tsukishima being a demon for 10 mins' video compilations 

daichi and sugawara

a very chaotic buzzfeed unsolved duo

suga, who is satan’s child himself, and daichi, who needs a raise

daichi: hello everyone! this is daichi,

sugawara: and suga

daichi: and you’re watching...

sugawara: jackass!!

daichi:...buzz...buzzfeed unsolved??

daichi started out being afraid of almost every place he had to walk into but after having to deal with the chaotic mess that is suga for an entire season, he no longer Feels Fear

this is because suga will deadass film a tiktok dance video no matter where he is

daichi: suga, someone was literally axe-murdered there

suga: *dancing along to ‘I’m a Savage’ or whatever that tiktok song is called*

daichi: *at cameraman* do you see what i have to deal with every day?’

suga is only genuinely scared by ghosts when his followers point out that a ghost was caught on camera in one of his tiktok videos

suga: *watching the video*

that was the end of suga’s tiktok career

tanaka and nishinoya:

another bunch of loud bois but they are much louder than kageyama and hinata

they’re very much into proving the existence of cryptids and are most known for that episode they spent hunting bigfoot by dressing up to look like bigfoot

tanaka: ‘you know that thing they do in cartoons where they stack on top of each other under a coat so they look like just one big guy?’

nishinoya: ‘ryuu i love you so fucking much’

other guy there who is also trying to catch bigfoot: oMg ItS bIgFooT *takes picture with the blurriest camera he could find*

both of them are very committed in their investigation of the supernatural and they’re very unconventional approaches

nishinoya: *lying on the ground in a creepy basement* EAT MY HEART DEMONS! WE’LL PUT THE VIDEO ON YOUTUBE!

tanaka: *takes out a spirit board* *spells out O-M-A-E  W-A  M-O  S-H-I-N-D-E-I-R-U*

ghost: *spells out N-A-N-I*

tanaka and nishinoya: *screaming*

kuroo and kenma: 

kuroo deadass flirts with any ghost or demon they encounter and kenma would sleep over in a haunted asylum for ten bucks

kuroo: *sidles up to the infamous annabelle doll* hey there little lady, what’s a pretty thing like you doing in a locked, glass case with a ‘don’t touch’ sign like this?

kenma: kuroo, there’s a demon inside her

kuroo: well, i’m a bit of a demon myself

kenma: she attempted to choke a guy in his sleep

kuroo: oooh, choking. i can get behind that...

kenma: *looks at camera*

the demon in annabelle: d-daddy??

“kuroo flirting with demons and kenma looking at the camera for 5 minutes”

kuroo’s actually a huge fucking scaredy cat and kenma secretly tries to push him over the edge

kenma: *plays computer-generated screams of the damned on his phone*

kuroo: WHAT WAS THAT?

kenma: ...I didn’t hear anything *looks at the camera as if he was on the office and plays the sound again*

kuroo: i was too scared to close my eyes last night

kenma: i was actually able to catch a bunch of pokemon last night. who knew the winchester mansion is such a hotspot

producer: did you catch any evidence of ghosts?

kenma: ...i caught a gastly

bokuto and akaashi:

bokuto is a die-hard mothman fan and akaashi is emotionally involved in proving that ghosts exist he will stop at nothing

akaashi: all of the evidence on the shadow figures and orbs spotted in this place can only suggest one thing...

bokuto: mothman did it

akaashi: no

bokuto: yes

akaashi: mothman is literally five states away

bokuto: he has wings

during their individual investigations, akaashi has already foreseen how bokuto is going to react

producer: it’s been quiet for a while. do you think bokuto’s no longer scared?

akaashi: oh no. he should be screaming right about now...

bokuto, inside the haunted house: *screams and waves his flashlight around*

akaashi:  and then he’s gonna call for help

bokuto: AKAAAAAASHIIIIIIIIII

*few hours later*

bokuto: i saw my life flash before my eyes in there

akaashi: *muttering incoherently near his ‘evidence wall’ full of blurry pictures and red string*

bokuto: i must’ve stared into the abyss at one point

akaashi: this place is fucking haunted. can i go back? it’s for sale right?

ushijima and tendou:

ushijima’s knowledge of ghosts is based on hollywood movies and tendou has exorcised places just by vibing

ushijima: *brings out a pottery wheel* if there are any ghosts in here, you know what to do

he’s actually never watched Ghost he just knows That One Scene

tendou: *naruto-running through the goatman bridge with a go-pro strapped to his head* IT’S MY BRIDGE GOATMAN, IT’S MY BRIDGE!!!

the Goatman Himself: i’ve never felt so fucking scared in my entire fucking life

ushijima believes that chanting in latin will Summon the Ghosts and tendou takes full advantage of that

tendou: *handing ushijima a slip of paper* here, apparently this will summon a full-bodied apparition

ushijima: thanks *begins chanting*

producer, interviewing tendou to the side: okay, what did you make him read this time?

tendou: i typed out ‘let me eat your ass’ in latin on google translate and went from there

cameraman: *zooms in on ushijima chanting*

the ghost haunting the castle: *is confused in French*

in the end neither of them get evidence on ghosts

ushijima: well, we'll have better luck next time

tendou: maybe even revisit this place ?

the ghosts: i know i'm dead but this is the first time i've been scared for my life

[EDIT: for more buzzfeed unsolved au content written by me, check out The Search for the Mysterious Mothman, a headcanon set feat. bokuaka]

[osakaso5]

IDOLiSH7 End Of Year Story 2021: Idol Werewolf

~LIVE or HEAVEN~ Part 1: A New Year's Special!

Chapter Index

Momo & Mitsuki: Idol Werewolf ~LIVE or HEAVEN~!!!

Audience: Kyaaaa...!

Momo: Happy New Year, everyone!

Mitsuki: Happy New Year! Here's to another great year!

Momo: It's hard to believe New Year's Morning with Momo & Mitsuki is already in its 10th year...

Mitsuki Izumi: Especially since it's not.

Momo: Wait, it's not?

Audience: Ahahaha..!

Mitsuki Izumi: Nope. And besides, we just yelled out the actual name of this show. Let's do it again, one more time!

Momo: Sure thing!

Momo & Mitsuki: Idol Werewolf ~LIVE or HEAVEN~!!!

Audience: Kyaaaaaaa...!

Momo: Yaaay!

Mitsuki Izumi: Hold for applause!

Momo: For this show, we're bringing you a luxuriously dreamy cast to play a game called "Werewolf"!

Momo: Werewolf is a table talk game where we split into two factions: the villagers and the monsters!

Momo: The monsters are all hiding among the villagers, pretending to be on their side...

Momo: Which means there's no way of telling who's what! We have to talk to each other to find out who's an impostor!

Mitsuki Izumi: In the meantime, the monsters have their own rules to follow!

Mitsuki Izumi: We've got werewolves, who will kill and eat one villager each night! We've got fortune-tellers, who can reveal a werewolf's identity by doing a reading on them!

Mitsuki Izumi: We've got fox spirits, who won't die if they're attacked by a werewolf! They'll also cast a deadly curse on any fortune-teller who tries to do a reading on them, though!

Momo: With all these rules and roles, this game's gotta be really difficult!

Momo: But it'll be the perfect New Year's entertainment for all of you at home!

Mitsuki Izumi: Welcome, all you couch potatoes out there!

Audience: Ahahaha..!

Mitsuki Izumi: In any case... Werewolf's a pretty easy game, once you remember all the rules!

Mitsuki Izumi: I did a little practice match with Yamato-san and Nagi.

Momo: Oh, so you've already got some experience under your belt. How'd it go?

Mitsuki Izumi: It was a ton of fun! But it was also really hard!

Mitsuki Izumi: Yamato-san's a master actor, and Nagi's got a knack for scheming, so having them both beg for you to trust in them is insanely tough...

Momo: Ahaha! I bet it is!

Mitsuki Izumi: Especially since if I don't put my trust in either one of them, they'll both get all sulky.

Momo: Appealing to the other players' emotions is certainly one stategy to go for!

Momo: Well then, it's about time we introduced the participants!

Momo: Here's our first group!

Momo: IDOLiSH7!

Audience: Kyaaaaaaa...!

Riku Nanase: Happy New Year!

Iori Izumi: I wish you all a happy New Year.

Yamato Nikaido: Happy New Year.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Cheers!!!

Sogo Osaka: Happy...

Tamaki Yotsuba: No, not like that! We practiced this!

Sogo Osaka: C-cheers!

Nagi Rokuya: Yaaay! Happy New Year!

Nagi Rokuya: C'mon! Join me, Mitsuki!

Nagi & Mitsuki: Happy New Year!

Audience: Kyaaaaaaa...!

Yamato Nikaido: Happy New Year to you too, Mitsuki-san.

Mitsuki Izumi: Quit acting like we're strangers. We left the  dorm together this morning.

Tamaki Yotsuba: I'm here to eat New Year's grub! We got any?

Riku Nanase: Thank you for the money envelopes, Re:vale!

Momo: You guys sure are full of energy, like always!

Tamaki Yotsuba: Where's Yukirin, by the way?

Momo: He'll come out later! That's when we'll eat, too! In the meantime, go take a seat over there!

Tamaki Yotsuba: Awesome! Kashiwa mochi!

Iori Izumi: Aren't you supposed to eat that in May!?

Mitsuki Izumi: Sorry about all this noise...

Momo: I don't mind! Thanks for making things more exciting up here!

Momo: And here's our next group!

Momo: ŹOOĻ..!

Audience: Kyaaaaaaa...!

Toma Inumaru: Cheers! Here's to another great year!

Minami Natsume: Happy New Year.

Torao Mido: Happy New Year.

Haruka Isumi: Happy New Year! It's gonna be a great one for ŹOOĻ!

Audience: Kyaaaaaaa...!

Momo: Now there's a pack of wolves if I've ever seen one!

Toma Inumaru: Ahaha! Please don't cast suspicion on us right off the bat.

Mitsuki Izumi: That's actually the national concensus on you guys. It won't be official until later, though.

Toma Inumaru: The national what now?

Haruka Isumi: That sounds kinda scary...

Momo: It's nothing scary, we swear! Relax, and go wait over there!

Mitsuki Izumi: Here's our next group..!

Mitsuki Izumi: TRIGGER..!

Audience: Kyaaaaaaa...!

Gaku Yaotome: Happy New Year!

Ryunosuke Tsunashi: Happy New Year! I hope the next one will be just as great!

Tenn Kujo: Happy New Year. I hope you'll continue to support us.

Audience: Kyaaaaaaa...!

Mitsuki Izumi: Happy New Year! What about you three, have you ever played games like this?

Gaku Yaotome: I've pinned the tail on the donkey, if that helps.

Momo: Pinned the tail on the donkey?

Gaku Yaotome: I've also got some experience with shuttlecock and spinning tops from some of our previous work projects.

Ryunosuke Tsunashi: Well, I typically played board games with my family before New Year's Day, rather than after it!

Tenn Kujo: You two do realize that werewolf isn't a traditional New Year's game, right?

Gaku Yaotome: Oh.

Momo: He's right, you know! We just felt like using it as the game for today's show.

Mitsuki Izumi: Considering you three are all actors, I bet you'll be really good at this!

Tenn Kujo: We'll be doing our very best.

Mitsuki Izumi: I bet you will! Go take a seat over there, please.

Momo: Then there's our last group! Momo-san, hurry on over..!

Momo: Got it!

Mitsuki Izumi: Our next group is, uh... You all know them! The big guys! They're just waiting to take to the stage... assuming they're ready!

Mitsuki Izumi: Re:vale! Come on out!

Audience: Kyaaaaaaa...!

Re:vale: Good evening!

Momo: Hello again, everyone!  

Yuki: Heheh... Happy New Year.

Audience: Kyaaaaaaa...!

Mitsuki Izumi: Happy New Year! What is it that you're chuckling about, Yuki-san?

Yuki: I figured Momo would be waiting over here with you, but then he suddenly dashed backstage.

Momo: I couldn't leave my darling alone, now could I!

Mitsuki Izumi: That's Re:vale for ya! Their love burns strong, as always!

Momo: Actually, he just told me to go walk on stage with me, because he didn't want to look like a loner.

Yuki: Maybe I should've snuck on stage with IDOLiSH7.

Mitsuki Izumi: I definitely would've loved to see that! How are you feeling about tonight?

Yuki: .........

Yuki: Victory is ours.

Audience: Kyaaaaaaa...!

Momo: Yuki, you're sooo dreamy..!!! If you end up being the wolf, then go ahead and eat me right up!!!

Yuki: OK, I will.

Audience: Kyaaaaaaa...!

Mitsuki Izumi: Thanks a lot for all the PDA, Re:vale!

Mitsuki Izumi: Now that everyone's here, let's hear that title one more time!

Mitsuki Izumi: On three! 1... 2... 3!

All: Idol Werewolf ~LIVE or HEAVEN~!!!

Momo: Thanks guys! Now, let's get started! 

To be continued...

[lovee-infected]

I enjoy reading character analysis to understand them more and I've also noticed that some insert fics are like too exagerated and their personalities are far from the canon twst. I think some writers are just basing their fics to others and and makes conclusion about it and ignore important details or text on their cards?* And as a reader, I do sometimes think that "this" character are like that. Like Vil, being portrayed as narcisstic and beauty obssessed charac, I think he isnt like that and theres more to him than we think. Sorry for the long ask✌️

You're totally valid anon and I see your point, you know while I agree that each idea and interpretation on characters is worthy on its own and no one is bound to having a specific opinion or belief, getting too wild with personal fantasies and ignoring the originals can totally ruin the writing. Characters are often mischaracterized especially in reader insert fics and the most annoying part is that almost everyone is making the same mistakes about him-! Like some of the noticable mistakes would be:

(1) Femininely has nothing to do with Vil's terms of beauty

Oh lord what can I say- It's even against what Vil himself directly said through chapter five and how he cleared his point on male and female equal, and you can tell he is pretty strict about it.

Like did you just forget what he told Epel when he complained that he doesn't want to act like a girl: “a boy getting embarrassed about ‘acting like a girl,’ -- what year is your head stuck in??? did you take a time machine from 100 years ago??”

He doesn't seem to be one to appreciate the concept of labeling beauty as a female-only thing and on the other hand, he doesn't really seem to like the way women can be looked down on while being compared to men either. He seeks equality, and beauty wasn't ever defined as a feminine act in his dictionary; while there are tons of requests asking for: Vil forcing their trans s/o to wear more feminine clothes/ Vil asking their fem! s/o to wear more feminine stuff an look cuter/Vil complimenting s/o's appearance for not being feminine enough/... And literally TONS of requests like this. Please, you're forgetting one the most important parts of his personality, he considers male and female to be equal and it's so hecking important to show that he holds respect for all genders nonetheless.

(2) Vil's maturity is often ignored

Honestly, within all twst characters Vil's maturity on its own really impresses me. From the way he speaks to how serious and sincere he is all I gotta say is this man is waaay different from the way he's charactetized in most of the fics. Idk why but, he's sometimes charactetized as a guy who's ready to boil you alive if you dare touch any of his expensive make up pallettes or eyeshadows. Oh please, Vil isn't an angry child.

Also he often decides to keep his anger in, though you can tell when he's mad by just looking at his face. Clinching fists, trying not to talk and most likely, walking off or asking people to leave him alone until he calms down a bit is most likely his usual way of expressing his anger, but I've seen him being described as a loud, feral figure like Riddle is! Oh god no- Are you just ignoring how calm and collected Vil often tends to be?

(3) What's with the potato fetish?

While it's canon that Vil can sometimes call people around him potato. You may like to know that in some languages, potato is translated as "Apple of the ground", which can be an interesting reason of him using this nickname for people.

Watching Vil call students potatoes can be as entertaining as watching Malleus play with his tamagotchi, but again, it's important to realize that you don't have to only use potato when you're thinking of what Vil might say in a reader insert/situation!

Come on there are hundreds of different statements and sentences you can use other than just 'potatoes' and it'll get boring to read him saying the same nick name over and over in a fic. Good lord of course this isn't the only word he uses in communication so please try to avoid using it too much. This, is NOT the only word that he knows to use! (Seriously though I've seen being used like 6 times in a 500-word drabble)

(4) Please avoid spreading false information about him and his personality

Funny how I'm saying it here, but don't forget that you do not own him! Vil Schoenheit is a property of Disney/ Aniplex and all, which means that no one can certainly decide on his sexuality/ background/ unexplained character details unless it's officially announced.

Why am I saying this? Because some people are seriously going to far! I've seen people attacking others saying that Vil's pronouns are She/Her and not He/ Him like: EXCUSE ME...???

I don't want to get into details explaining how this drama is going but I've got to say something anyway, YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECIDE ON HIS PRONOUNS! None of us do!

It's totally okay to have your personal preferences on his pronouns or anything else, but you must avoid spreading such information and forcing them on others as long as they aren't confirmed! Please keep your headcanons for yourself and don't confuse the fandom with them. Everyone's free to have their own headcanons but it's never okay to force them on others!

(5) Vil has a LOT to talk about other than just beauty!

Man... sometimes I feel like the fandom is just doing him dirty. Most of the reader inserts, fics , and even Vil memes have something to do with beauty while it's important to try and look through his personality as well instead of just sticking with the beauty aspect.

For example, through the Halloween event, I couldn't be any more surprised when Vil found the crying child who had lost their parents through the crowd and instead of just leaving them to headmaster or asking someone to take care of them he actually started to play with the child and entertrain and confront them on his own! That was probably one of his sweetest moments through the whole game and it really changed my mind about him! It was great to know that Vil as well can have a softer side when it comes to children, just imagine how good this can be used while writing a father AU for him!

His talents on the other hand need to be recognized, for example: his acting skills back in the ghost marriage proved how much of a great actor he can be and this can also give us lots of ideas to use in writings. On the other hand he's much of a celebrity on his own ( Woop- he's also got 2m followers on magicam) which gives us another great plot to write for him.

The way he is around close friends, how he compliments them and gets complimented by them in return, the way he manages Pomefiore and tries to put the students into doing their best in using their skills and lots of more interesting details that can be found through his stories are there to tell you that he's a lot more than just a beautiful Queen. A considerable part of his background as well is going to be released at he end of chapter 5 (Yes baby after the overblot Vil) and I hope that gives us all the opportunity to come up with stronger personalities and plots next time that we're describing or even, characterizing Vil!

Lmao I kind of rushed to finish this so I didn't get to talk about him as much as I wanted to, but hope that this is useful anyway.

[millenniumfae]

Video Game Cooking: Nectar (Hades 2018)

Nectar is one of the in-game items Zagreus can collect. By gifting these bottles of golden liquid to other characters, he raises his affinity with them, which in turn gives him powerup items and advances character questlines. 

Hades (2018) is a retelling/adaptation of the classical Persephone and Hades mythos. All items, settings, and characters are from classic Greek mythology; Zagreus’ foster mother is the primordial goddess of night. Achilles’ personal questline is about reuniting him with his lover Patrocles. Zagreus has spent his entire life sheltered underground in Tartarus, so he doesn’t know what birds are, or what winter is. 

In turn, ‘nectar’ exists in Greek mythology. It’s sometimes interchangeable with ambrosia; both are the legendary foods/drinks of the gods, said to grant immortality to anyone who consumes them, amongst other positive effects. In-game, nectar is the more commonplace counterpart to ambrosia; Zagreus finds nectar as a dungeon drop. But he needs to defeat the champion of Elysium boss to gain a single bottle of ambrosia.

Today, we’re gonna re-create the nectar of Hades (2018) for ourselves! It may be contraband in Hades’ domain, but it’s not like anyone pays attention to that rule, anyways.

Why are we recreating nectar, and not ambrosia? Because there already exists tons of ‘ambrosia’ drink recipes. Maybe not based off of the Hades (2018) version, but there’s nothing new or exciting in making yet another ambrosia drink. Nectar, on the other hand, gives us more room for invention.

Hades (2018) Nectar Recipe  (Makes One Serving)

1 1/3 cups Martinelli's sparkling cider

2 tablespoons orange flower water

1 tablespoon honey

1/4 teaspoon edible gold shimmer powder (make sure it lists all ingredients, and is certified food safe)

A pinch of coarse sea salt

A pinch of lemon zest

A drop of mint extract

The first times Zagreus gifts nectar to npcs, they describe honoring some sort of godhood custom and exchange with him with a ‘keepsake’ - an in-game powerup he can wear. Unlike with gifting ambrosia, their eyes don’t pop out with shock at receiving such a luxurious gift, it’s instead just something nice, even if relatively commonplace. But nectar is still prestigious enough that gifting the actual Olympic gods nectar goes over well.

If ambrosia is the equivalent of Zagreus gifting $30,000,000 Breguet watches to his friends and family, then nectar is the gourmet-wrapped basket of cheese and crackers you see in the ‘gift’ section of the grocery store. Something you spot while on errands, and impulsively buy so you have a hostess gift the next time someone invites you over. It’s a gift borne of societal custom, and implores the giftee to give you something in return, eventually. Everyone from your multimillionaire uncle Poseidon to your humble jailbird neighbor Sisyphus are pleased to receive such a gift, even if they might value its contents differently.

(In the early-access versions of the game, nectar was ambrosia. The final release wrote ambrosia as the coveted, rare prize you earn after defeating the champions of Elysium. True enough, Zagreus can only find ambrosia after defeating the Elysium boss.)

In original Greek mythology, ‘nectar’ and ‘ambrosia’ aren’t two distinct things. Homer describes nectar as the god’s drink, and ambrosia is the food. But in Sappho’s and Anaxandrides’s poems, it’s the opposite. There’s more recorded mentions of ‘ambrosia’, rather than nectar. Some take this to mean that both nectar and ambrosia can be seen as something both food and drink, like honey.

Both share canonical similarities. Ambrosia and nectar are fragrant foods/drinks, sometimes used as literal perfume by the gods. Makes sense that nectar smells good, if in the AD period we’ve taken the word to mean the sweet stuff within flowers.

Other than its smell, we’ve no canonical information about nectar (other than in the Odyssey, nectar is described as either ‘rose-red’ in color, or in scent). Hades (2018) rendered nectar’s appearance as an opaque, warm gold liquid in a cute little round bottle, wrapped with a ribbon to benefit its ‘gift merchandise’ reputation.        

Nobody in Hades (2018) describes the taste/smell of nectar. Ambrosia, on the other hand, is said to be rare ‘vintages’ that you’re guaranteed to like. Sometimes, gifting either results in a cutscene where Zagreus and co. hang out at the lounge, complete with a sound clip of uncorking a bottle and pouring it into a tall glass. You can also see characters drink nectar amongst each other, savoring both the occasion and the taste. Eurydice also offers a ‘Refreshing Nectar’ power up item, which just kinda looks like normal nectar but in a tall glass. 

There’s a clear alcohol equivalence. But nobody references drunkeness in-game. Even original classical Greek culture didn’t have a drunk culture like we do; wine was revered, but it was mixed with water to be savored, not to intoxicate oneself. Maybe nobody in-game can get drunk in the first place; everyone’s either an immortal, or a ghost.

(In my opinion, it’s always a bit weird when videogame characters can nurture deep, trusting relationships purely built upon a system of gifting items. But Hades (2018) does make it clear that Zagreus already has established relationships with most of the cast.)

Ambrosia’s a rare vintage. So what does that make nectar? We need to make something sweet, pleasant, attractive-looking, and also tangibly related to its rarer sibling. So we’re using another liquid that’s distilled and sometimes fermented; apple cider. 

A bit of this decision comes from the soundbite of opening up a nectar in the lounge; it’s a thin viscosity with a slight hint of foam, almost sounding like beer. And the color matters too, since different distillations of apple cider can result in different colors, ranging from dark brown to a light, bright gold.

Apple juice, when fermented, can have alcohol contents going from light apple wine, to brandies that have 10-25% alcohol. As a culinary ingredient, its modest fructose content means a higher temperature tolerance, and its citric acid can be used as a brine. It’s a popular ‘new world’ ingredient in cooking and baking. 

It’s also an ‘old world’ food. Hades (2018) doesn’t take itself super seriously, with its foil-wrapped gyros and french fries as in-game healing items. But any character/worldbuilding they do have, they keep it consistent. 

Zagreus says that Hermes’ symbol “almost looks like a bat wing”, when it’s very clearly a bird wing. Because he’s lived underground his whole life, he doesn’t know what a bird is. Weapons upgraded with the aspect of people like Guan Yu, or King Arthur, are time-bending powers that no one has ever heard of, with hints that these mysterious people live in places with their own gods/mythology. Zagreus catches a trout/bass/sturgeon fish for the first time, and it’s completely foreign to him, but Achilles fondly recalls these Greece-native fish fitting of his Nereid heritage. Characters have discussions about how mortals fear death, despite Thanatos being a gentle god represented by butterflies. There’s no sun, therefore no time, in the underworld. Hades is the god of minerals as well as the underworld, hence gems and diamonds being an in-game loot. 

Apples originated in Central Asia. During the Classical Greek era, they would have resembled what we call crabapples; small, hard, sour, cherry-sized. “At the Sammardenchia-Cueis site near Udine in Northeastern Italy, seeds from some form of apples have been found in material carbon dated to around 4000 BCE.”

It implores me to find ingredients that fit the setting, as with my other Video Game Cooking recipes. No pumpkins, no corn, potatoes, chocolate, tomatoes, vanilla. Instead, we have things like almonds, lentils, oranges, honey, garlic, onions (haha, suck it Achilles)

To reflect nectar’s ‘sweet smelling’ trait, we’re using an ingredient common in Persian cooking - and later the French royal court of King Louis; orange flower water. I found mine in my local Asian grocery. It’s a byproduct of making essential oil, and it’s colorless/flavorless, but with a strong aromatic smell that affects any food you mix it with. It’s also a known ingredient in modern day Greece, called anthonero (ανθόνερο). 

(Eeurydice is confirmed to use both nectar and ambrosia as a cooking ingredient, and her food is apparently amazing. Maybe one day, I’ll make another Video Game Cooking recipe based off of her Pom Porridge, or Ambrosia Delights.) 

And to really make it look like the food of the gods, we’re adding an ingredient found more and more in swanky bars worldwide; edible glitter powder. Originally, people only used this to decorate baked goods and candies, but come Instagram, people are making these really picturesque cocktails that shimmer rainbow. You gotta be careful when buying these for yourself, though; the tiny tins of decorative edible shimmer power you find at Michaels may not actually be as edible as they claim. I found Bakell-brand Luster Dust at a bake-supply shop. If it doesn’t list its ingredients, or certify itself as FDA-approved, then don’t use it for food.

And since it’s called ‘nectar’, we’re also adding honey. Which has long history of its divine status as a holy food. To take down the intense sweetness a bit, the tinest pinch of sea salt - another holy, pure substance. And to really bring out the brightness of the apples, we’re adding a sprinkle of lemon zest. A tiny drop of mint extract brings a complex depth to the orange flower smell.

To make a glass of nectar; cover the bottom of the glass with mint, lemon, sea salt, honey, and orange flower water. Then, pour the apple cider with the gold shimmer dust together, so that the two mix together a bit, to avoid clumping of the powder. Then you mix the drink a bit, so that the honey, zest, and salt aren’t sitting at the bottom.

It only now occurs to me that this recipe might actually be a rendition of Eurydice’s Refreshing Nectar item, rather than pure nectar itself. But just take my word for it; when you open up a bottle of nectar, you get that whiff of blossoms with the slight coldness of mint, and the sea salt/honey taste goes really well with the apple juice. I imagine that Eurydice’s somehow making a further delicious drink by adding a splash of Bailoni and ice. 

Enjoy! Just imagine that you’re hanging out with Zagreus and his three partners, cracking a cold one open over stories about how crazy the surface world is. Did you know that we have machines called computers that instantly relay information all over the world??

[phantom-jay]

I posted 30,865 times in 2021

125 posts created (0%)

30740 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 245.9 posts.

I added 1,001 tags in 2021

#kris - 154 posts

#susie - 131 posts

#buy - 130 posts

#shopping - 123 posts

#lapis lazuli - 97 posts

#lapis - 93 posts

#hermitcraft - 72 posts

#stardew valley - 69 posts

#epithet erased - 66 posts

#peridot - 66 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i can’t tell if that’s a you can’t stand me (valid) or i should gotta stop this shit before it gets more than platonic but honestly u got a

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

hits you with car

Mean :(

19 notes • Posted 2021-07-15 04:23:55 GMT

#4

you

I am. I’ve been running low on femurs. While you’re here, might as well take yours.

26 notes • Posted 2021-06-03 16:43:03 GMT

#3

Suicide is just self-abortion

27 notes • Posted 2021-03-05 21:31:13 GMT

#2

Petition to add more potions and alchemical uses to Minecraft

New potion types

Potion of Nausea - poisonous potato

Potion of Hunger - rotten flesh

Potion of Wither - wither rose

Potion of Levitation - Shulker Shell

Potion of Glowing - glow berries

I believe these would not only be thematical and make sense via the ingredients used, but they are fairly balanced with the ingredients used. Poisonous potatoes are hard to get on purpose without just farming tons of potato crops, and even so, not the most useful item (also let us compost poisonous potatoes). Rotten flesh makes sense as well, it isn’t going to do much (like a weaker poison) and is fairly easy to get. Wither roses are dangerous to get, as you need to use a wither to get them, and thus is a powerful potion. The wither potion wouldn’t work on undead, and the nausea and hunger potions are mainly for pvp. The levitation potion would definitely be fairly strong, but I figure it would naturally not last long, and with its rare component, is balanced. Would be fun to mess with too. The glow berries are just a nice little thing, like the shine potion in Terraria. A convenient thing. All of these effects (minus glowing) exist in Minecraft.

Potion-tipped weapons/tools

Similar to tipped arrows, this would allow you to add potion effects (albeit weakened versions) to your tools and weapons. This should be an expensive endeavor, but rewarding. Maybe similar to the enchanting system. A magic cauldron of sorts could be used as the functional block. It would also be expensive. Maybe a cauldron, a brewing stand, and something like gold/amethyst/quartz/lapis blocks used in the recipe. (Maybe a new ore? Add rubies back in?) The process itself would definitely be expensive, requiring the weapon/tool, the desired potion (drinking form) and something else to actually make the process happen. This could be dragon’s breath, or maybe some ruby essence? (Brewing a ruby into a water bottle or dragon breath) combining the weapon, potion, and catalyst would give you a potion-tipped object. The potion effect would be displayed below the enchantments, maybe in a different color. Like green might be a fitting color, and make enchantments purple. You could also add a small effect correspondent with the color of potion to the equipment. Another thing is washing your equipment. You could use a normal cauldron, filled with milk do de-tip your weapons and tools. Obviously: this would only be applicable to: swords, axes, pickaxes, shovels, and hoes.

75 notes • Posted 2021-06-24 05:18:39 GMT

#1

https://href.li/?https://picrew.me/image_maker/240997/complete?cd=ZtDSuxSmoq

Found a picrew!

@lizluvscupcakes @greenpactbosmer @pookie-pie-12 @charlotte-likes-cuddles @drink-bread @scentedzinesportsdream @crim50n-r8er @anyone!

151 notes • Posted 2021-06-11 03:05:30 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[calleo-bricriu]

Me: Has drafts. Also me: Has replies already written in my head. ALSO ME: “Typing is hard...”

In my defense, I’m in the home stretch of closing on a house and have to start actually working out and executing the steps to get all my shit packed up and moved from this place--I still have shit from when we bought the house in 2004 that STILL ISN’T UNPACKED, it’s mostly old computer games and I’ll probably just leave it to be finally trashed, but there’s like 5 huge boxes of it in the closet.

The house in question is an amazing little thing built in 1879 and the most work I’ll have to do on it:

1. Wait for squirrel in the garage soffits to have her babies grow up and leave, then seal the hole.

2. Strip the goddamned white paint off of all the interior wood trim; it’s the original wood trim, there’s a place for parlor doors (though they’re long gone). I just...the original woodwork is gorgeous, the exterior facing parts of the doors still have it, they’d a deep mahogany with wonderful grain. They’re the original doors from 1879 that have just been fitted with more modern deadbolts but still have the original knobs with skeleton key holes (long since blocked off because security).

3. P A I N T. I hate neutrals. I hate neutrals and, of course, when people flip a house they try to paint it in neutrals so it has a broader appeal and so potential buyers can more easily see their stuff in there, but the only thing worse than rental beige is rental tan. Gotta get some damn color in there. It might not be a big old Victorian house but it’s a Victorian house. The interior and exterior should be as obnoxiously bright as possible.

4. Get the roof redone because I know I have the money for it not, I don’t know that I’ll have it in 5-7 years.

5. Consider residing; it has white vinyl, and vinyl can be painted but it doesn’t last terribly long. Might just have it painted though. I don’t want a boring ass white house when the big rental next door is bright blue. Another roof situation, I have the money now.

6. Fix the garage door opener; it works but the chain is off the track so it doesn’t actually lift the door. 7. Probably replace the furnace and water heater; there’s nothing wrong with them but they are  from 1996, and new ones would be way more efficient.

8. Uh...furniture. All I’m taking with me is the stuff in my office and the bed I sleep in. Probably gonna need more than that.

9. Make the call on whether I want to have an electrician put in 220 volt stuff for an electric dryer or be okay with using the as feed up to that little room. Probably will just use the gas feed as it’s there. Discovered the unplugged thing on the floor in that room goes to underfloor heating meant to be used in the winter as it’s just a 3 season porch so it gets cold.

10. Be forever amazed that the original electrical wiring is still present (though largely spliced into modern wiring save for the light coming down from the ceiling in the closet--you can see the original, still insulated cord clearly--and into dining room which will be probably filled with reptiles, AND that it works and has been inspected by an actual electrician and deemed safe. 100amp breaker, but that’s not so bad, it’s a 150 breaker here and nothing ever blows.

11. ...smoke alarms and a CO alarm, as there are none, which is fine, nobody has been living there for the two-ish years the guy was rennovating it.

12. Fix the one glass pane that’s missing in the bedroom; storm window is still present and not broken/cracked but one really should have double panes windows here.

13. Oh yeah, and curtains.

14. Getting the second door that’s painted shut opened back up, the stupid white paint stripped form it, and getting a modern deadbolt put in so it’s a usable, safe door to be able to open. It’s the side door to what was the parlor and is now the living room.

15. Possibly look at where the parlor door was after having the paint stripped and see if the pockets are still present; if they are, see about getting replica doors to match the existing ones put in. Who wouldn’t want to be able to dramatically open parlor doors or tell someone to step into their parlor?

Now you get pics I took while I was there for the home inspection!

The new LED lightbulb put into a fixture from 1879:

Big kitchen, fuckton of storage, two flour bins by the stove; I love flour bins, the house I grew up in had them as did my grandparents’ houses. As long as you clean them out thoroughly when they’re empty they’re great!

📷

The exterior of the side parlor door that's painted shut.

The front door (the interior side is painted white). Original knob and skeleton key lock from when the house was built.

This house survived being a cheap, rundown student rental for nearly 40 years and it still has so much of its original stuff.

The stairs to the basement and crawlspace that looks like something out of a horror movie, so naturally I love it.

This is directly inside the crawlspace. It's absolutely perfect for storing potatoes, root vegetables, and squash--and for putting jars of stuff to ferment. It's a good 10 degrees colder than the rest of the area and is meant to be used for exactly what I just mentioned. I love that it's still there.

Also here's the entrance to the crawlspace.

...and the crawlspace. The tiny 'basement' is just a room with a few shelves I need to replace as they were using untreated plywood in the metal frame and most of it is moldy or starting to rot because untreated. Otherwise all that's in there is the furnace and water heater. The furnace has some open drain ports and I may put a humidifier down there to run 24/7 because it is, as most basements that aren't fully finished around here, a bit damp.

TL;DR: I may be largely MIA or not as quick to respond as I usually am because I’ll be legit running around like a lunatic moving all my stuff, setting up my new old house (MINE, ONLY MINE, no ex, no other people, JUST. ME. I loved living alone before I got married, and always thought I’d be happier still living alone even while married, which may be a sign that it was a bad decision, but I really just like living alone with a bunch of animals.

Also I've never seen a house that has an attic only accessible from the outside and using a ladder but that's what we have here; there's a big panel that I thought was just a vent that's really a...door.

The back yard is huge, already fenced, has a fire pit, has no fucking grass either, it's all native wild plants with some grape vines in a few areas; big mature ones too.

The front yard also has no grass, which, again, great, I'd planned to tear out any lawn at the house I got anyway. Front yard is still a bit bare so I may just coat it with clover. The only thing I'll have to mow is the boulevard and I can do that with a manual mower or be the extra strange neighbor and use a scythe--and yes I have one, I took it from my grandpa's barn after he died. They also planted a ton of ferns in the front yard for some reason, but I like ferns so they can stay. Oh and there's an entire workshop behind the garage which means I still will have an inside place to keep making wands.

[anthonyed]

I Can Explain

-//-

In his defense, Bucky consulted first.

What more, he consulted the person closest to Tony next to Jim, Miss Potts. Because Jim was out of radar on a mission and Bucky was in a rush.

He should have planned ahead. He should have learnt Tony's birthday a year before and asked Rhodey last Christmas.

But nope. It just so happened to be his luck that Bucky only found out about Tony's birthday two weeks prior and the best advice he could get was from Miss Potts.

In retrospect, maybe Miss Potts somehow found out about Bucky's little secret crush on her ex and was trying to sabotage...

Nah, she's a fairer maiden than that. What is Bucky even thinking?

"Hello?" Tony's curious call yanks him back to reality and he scrubs his face one last time before standing up.

He's not an idiot - at least, not as much as he was four hours ago when he'd dropped the package at the penthouse.

Not after Steve found out what his gift was and burst a vessel laughing his stupid ass off. Punk.

He knows what's coming the moment he opens the door... and yep.

"Is this from you?"

There it is.

He'd rather be stuck in cryo, that's how bad it is.

"I can explain,"

"Can you really?" Tony shoulders him aside to let himself in.

Luckily for Bucky, Steve's out and it's only him in their shared floor. At least that would spare him a fraction of his dignity (what's left of it).

With a deep inhale, he follows Tony inside after locking the door.

The sight of his 'gift' propped majestically in the centre of the living room couch stuns him into a brand new silence.

"He's quite handsome, I'll give you that," Tony pats his birthday present - two light slaps - before marching into the kitchen.

He scuttles around until he finds a clean glass and fills it half way up with water, "Gotta admit though, I was surprised," he gulps it down, two large swallows that work his throat distractingly and he adds, "It's really not that easy to surprise me, you know?"

Something unwinds within Bucky and he breathes out a sigh, "So you like it?" He asks, chancing another dubious glance at the gift he's second guessing with all his life.

Maybe it's Tony, maybe it's the crush, or maybe it's a little bit of both and a hell-a lot of the matter of his heart. But the fact remains that he's anxious.

Afraid he might have mucked up whatever chances he'd had with Tony before anything had even started between them.

"Water?" Tony asks.

"No thanks," Bucky shakes his head, crossing his arms over his chest for the lack of things to do.

"Pretty sure it should be the other way around," Tony smirks, walking back to the couch.

Bucky watches from where he stands as Tony plops heavily beside the horrendous gift and starts channel surfing. He realizes he's fidgetting when Tony pauses to ask him about it.

"What's wrong?"

And it all come out in a single rush;

"I didn't mean to buy you a giant bunny for your birthday. I mean, I meant to gift you something you like and I wasn't sure so I asked Miss Potts and she told me you absolutely adored giant bunnies -,"

"I do adore giant bunnies."

"- so I bought the biggest one I could get and when I told Steve he said that Miss Potts probably said it in spite because you gifted her a giant bunny once, which was bigger than this scrawny stuff -,"

"Hey, don't call my bunny a stuff!"

"- and he laughed so hard he broke the coffee table. And I don't want you to think I meant this as a joke. I genuinely believed you liked giant bunnies -,"

"I do really like giant bunnies."

"And I'm sorry I couldn't afford to buy you a larger - a -what?"

"What?"

Bucky opens his mouth, closes, hands flailing at his sides and he gestures shakily at the stupid bunny, "You said- Did you - Do you really like giant bunnies?"

Tony cocks his head to a side, regarding him with a childlike curiosity that rings all of Bucky's suspicious alarm bells.

"I did say that didn't I?"

Bucky blinks. Tony blinks back at him, imitating.

"Are you fucking with me right now? Cause I -,"

"You what?"

He glares at the foot tall bunny accusingly. "I can return it. Give you -,"

"Nope," Tony cuts him off loudly. The 'P' popping in his tongue as he yanks the plushie from its seat onto his lap and hugs it tight. "I've officiated it, Mr Bunny is mine and any harm invoked on him will be punishable by law."

The thing is, Bucky doesn't know if he wants to laugh at the utterly ridiculous threat or at the way Tony, a 50 years old grown adult, looks, clutching onto a human sized soft toy with the adamance of a five years old.

The only thing missing was him poking his tongue out.

"Mr Bunny huh," Bucky gives up, finally sagging in relief after hours of worrying. "I don't know bout that... It lacks the Stark-special creativity."

"Give me a break, I haven't had my coffee when I came up with it," Tony huffs, scooting over to make some space for Bucky to sit.

"No thoughts of renaming him?"

"Why, you got something better?"

-

When Steve finds them, they're fully stuffed with pizzas, garlic bread and lasagna.

Tony's head pillowed on Bucky's lap/stomach or somewhere in between while Bucky himself was slouched like a sack of potato sliding off of the couch.

Recently rechristened Mr Barney, is safely tucked under Tony's chin, pinned under a slim thigh and a tight clasp of engineer's hand sunk into its soft artificial fur.

Bucky's fingers are buried in softer, much real, curls, playing idly and Steve loathes to disturb them but Bucky was sitting on his workout hoodie and he desperately needs it.

Later, after Steve has been kicked out for 'trespassing and disturbance'. When Tony has to leave because "there are too much stuff to ignore more than I already did", he scuffs his expesive loafers on the floor and hesitates at the door with a big bunny hugged to his chest.

Bucky smiles, falters, smiles again and he can't deny the way his heart blooms and shuts and blooms all over again in its cage.

It's both absurd and marvelous, the way a little crush (that's what you keep telling yourself but you know it's more than that) can do to a grown ass man.

"So um,"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for this," Tony shoves the bunny a little at his face.

"Yeah, I uh - You're welcome," Bucky stutters over the gratitude, face and neck growing rapidly warm and he blinks fast as if that could help it away.

He's too distracted by his own nervousness that he completely misses the tell tale of a kiss coming his way.

It's a peck. A quick, albeit soft, unhurried peck.

Much, much later, he'd realise it's been timed perfectly.

A well planned peck to his burning cheek.

And a soft whisper of, "I like it," that sounded a fuck ton lot like "I like you."

Too similar that he's left gaping like a goldfish at the open door as Tony saunters his way to his workshop in that moment of distraction.

Too unfair because Bucky doesn't know what to do with himself after that until his phone pings and a message comes through and it says:

"Mr Barney would like to invite you for dinner tomorrow night"

Captioned under a photo of Mr Barney, sitting on Bucky's usual spot with a single red rose tucked under his paw.