#its entirely fictional. its my own imagination that's hurting me

[natjennie]

i have imagining my blorbos set to songs disease. it's terminal and unbearable.

[dedalvs]

When will humankind learn the lesson of its hubris and begin to heal itself? Also can you recommend any undergraduate or graduate level resources (textbooks etc.) for learning about fiction? I already read Writing Fiction by Burroway. Thanks in advance

January 14, 3182. Make a note of the date and return to this post when it comes.

To your second question, I've never read anything on writing fiction, only writing in general. I've found something valuable in every book on writing, even if there were things in the book I found less valuable. For example, I read Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within by Natalie Goldberg, and while there was much of it I didn't care for, there are some passags that have stuck with me 22 years later. When it comes to writing guides, I think the best thing to do is read what interests you while understand that what you are really doing is building your own writing guide inside you. You're absorbing what you find personally meaningful and using it to create your own personal styleguide that, like it or not, you'll be following for the rest of your life. Rather than rejecting that, and trying to decide which text will be the text that tells you how to write, embrace it, realize that you are going to do what you're going to do, and then try to work within that framework. That is, if that's what's happening, how will you approach a styleguide? What will it mean to you to read a very didactic text (i.e. "All serious writers must do x; no serious writer every does y") vs. a loosey-goosey one (e.g. "Dance naked in the garden of your creativity and allow your flowers to bloom!")? What are you looking for in these texts and what will you do with information or strategies that you find valuable?

Returning to Writing Down the Bones, I have to say I found the book to be mostly woo. It was more a kind of self-help/empowerment book than a book on writing, in my opinion. But there is something in there that I'm sure I'd heard before but which finally resonated with me. Specifically, it was the way she articulated that it really, truly doesn't matter what you put on the page when you're drafting. Drafting is not the time to reject. Even some idea comes to you that you find absurd, illogical, thematically inappropriate—whatever. It's not the time to push it away. Indeed, it's wasted effort. Editing and revising is the time to question. If you're writing, you shouldn't let anything stop you—even your own brain.

Why it took till then for this idea to take root, I don't know. It could be how she worded it. It could be that it came at the right time. Perhaps I was more open to new ideas when I was reading this book. It may also have something to do with a transition that had taken place for me in writing. After all, when I started high school, I was not regularly using a computer (we'd only just gotten a computer that stayed at home). When I started writing, I wrote by hand—on paper. It's a much, much different thing to edit and revise when you're writing on paper than it is on when you're working on a computer! I mean, digital real estate is cheap. When you're writing by hand, it can literally hurt to write seven or eight pages—and then to discard them in editing! Right now I'm working on a novel draft where I've decided an entire section needs to come out. If I'd written that by hand?! I can't even imagine.

I guess the tl;dr of it is I don't have a specific text to recommend. Rather, I encourage you to look around and grab anything that interests you. In doing so, though, I encourage you to approach it differently, focusing on what in it you find valuable, without either wholly rejecting it or feeling you have to follow it to the letter like an Ikea manual. I even found something valuable in C. S. Lewis's The Abolition of Man, which I honestly can't believe I read.

If you'd like some fiction advice that may be generally useful no matter what you're writing, this is what I can offer:

A valuable skill to hone is being able to read your work as if you have no other knowledge of it. In other words, you need to be able to read your work like a reader. One of the most difficult things to do with fiction is to cut. You usually have a lot more characterization, a lot more plot points, a lot more detail, etc. than end up on the page. The important question is if you cut something, will the reader notice? Will it actually feel like something's miss it, or will a reader never notice? Mind, I'm not saying that as a writer you can't tell if something is superfluous, or that anything you cut will be superfluous. I'm saying sometimes even if you cut something important a reader will still get the impression that what they are reading is whole and unedited. That isn't a good thing or a bad thing: it's a neutral thing. The question you'll have to answer is what is this whole that the reader is getting, and is that whole something you're satisfied with?

Get multiple rounds of feedback from many different readers. I say this not because it's vital, because beta readers are important, because you have to have multiple perspectives on your work, etc. None of that. Getting feedback from many different readers is a form of self-care on the part of the writer. I was deathly afraid of feedback as a young writer. I welcomed praise, sure, but anything else felt too painful to bear. This changed when I took a short fiction class at Berkeley. Suddenly a short story of mine wasn't getting one round of feedback: it was getting fourteen. And not just from the professor, but from fellow students. This was a minor revolution for me in terms of accepting feedback. If I were to take, say, one round of feedback, certainly there would be some praise, but there would also be notes like "awkward phrasing", "why did x character do y?", "this is unclear", "too much description", etc. These things would burn me. I would seethe reading them, and it would hurt so deeply. But! Imagine that one of them circles a paragraph and writes "too much description" and then the other thirteen readers say absolutely nothing at all about that paragraph—maybe one even puts a smiley face next to it. THAT puts the criticism in its proper context. Maybe your writing isn't too bad! Maybe there isn't too much description. Maybe that particular reader just wasn't vibing with it, and maybe that's okay. And then let's look at it from the other perspective. Say thirteen out of fourteen papers have a sentence marked and all of them say things like "huh?", "what's this mean?", "confusing", etc. Guess what? The sentence is probably confusing. And for some reason if everyone's saying the same thing it hurts a lot less. It means, yeah, you probably made a little mistake, and that's okay. It's not one person singling you out, and it's not the case that they don't know what they're talking about. I can't emphasize enough how freeing it is to look at reviews of your work if you have a handful or more to draw from rather than just a single good friend.

It's okay to write the fun part first. You may have a plot device you're really excited about, but to get there, you have to introduce your characters, have them get together, have them go to a place, meet someone else, etc. And it may take time and energy to write all that. You may feel pressured to get through that before you get to the part you really want to write. You certainly can, but you do not have to. I don't know if younger writers can appreciate exactly what it means to have a computer. You can write a little bit now and literally copy and paste it into some other document later. Try doing that with a typewriter! You can write something like "Insert paragraphs later of characters traveling to x location". You can even drop a variable in there so it's easy to find with the search function later (e.g. "ZZZZZ insert scene description here"—now you just need to search for "ZZZZZ"). You can put it in a different color on the screen so it's easy to find when scrolling. You can paste a freaking photo into your document! It's extraordinary what you can do with a computer that you couldn't do in years past. You've got a ton of options. But most importanly, when your work is done, no one will know what order you wrote it in.

In fiction, nothing has to happen. Villains don't have to be punished; heroes don't have to win; characters don't have to have a specific arc that comes to some conclusion. Honestly, one of the tropes (if you can even call it a trope) that I find most frustrating in sequels for movie franchises is after the characters are introduced, they take a few character and assign to them the major story conflict, and then for the rest, they give them a mini arc. It's like, "Mondo 2: Exploding the Mondoverse sees our hero Larjo Biggins take on new villain the Krunge as the very core of the Mondoverse is threatened with destruction! Also, Siddles Nuli learns its okay to be left out sometimes and she shouldn't get her feelings hurt, and Old Mucko learns that even though technology is advancing, sometimes good old fashioned common sense is just what the doctor ordered!" If you get to the end of your story, and you feel it's done, you don't have to panic if you suddenly realize we don't know whether Hupsi ever made it to Bumbus 7. It's okay if Story A is resolved but Story B is not.

I don't care if you used Trope A in your new story even though you used Trope A in your past seven stories and neither should you. Seriously, you think anyone was complaining when Agatha Christie put out another mystery novel? "Oh. Mystery again, huh? Gee, we were all hoping you'd write a book about the struggles traditional fishing villages are facing in the wake of industrial modernization." No we fucking weren't!

I hope you find some of this useful. Whether you did or not, though, be sure you enjoy what you're doing. If you are, you're doing the right thing.

[therealpie02]

One story at the hotel

Pairings: San x fem! reader x Yeosang

Summary: You and your friends stayed at the hotel after a good evening with alcohol. But alcohol wasn't to blame for what happened next. Your secret desires made you play with each other.

Word count: ~2k

Genre: smut 18+

Warnings: ITS A FICTION! Threesome, dom!San, dom!Yeosang, somnophilia, voyeurism (reader), oral sex (male receiving), fingering, unprotected sex, dirty talk, pet names (kitten, honey, darling), squirting, let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: friendly reminder English isn’t my native language <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Judging by the way your head hurt, you had a great time with your friends at the restaurant. Then at the bar. Then on a visit. Then at the hotel. You hardly remember these places, as alcohol has taken over your head. Your mouth was dry, head ached, and it was cool under the covers. In general, the "best" hangover combo.

You needed to go to the bathroom. Opening your eyes a little, you couldn't see anything at first. It was probably still the middle of the night, and only the moonlight from under the curtains made it possible to see something. For example, you were able to identify who your roommate was. Yeosang was sleeping on the other side of the bed, and his beauty took your breath away. He looked like a sleeping beauty, his dark hair spread out on the pillow, a few strands fell over his face, which shone in the moonlight. You had a terrible desire to touch your friend, your thoughts were spinning chaotically in your head, and your gaze fell on his lips. Suddenly his lips parted and he moaned softly.

You're frozen in place. You tried not to breathe or blink. What just happened? Has Yeosang learned to read your mind in a dream? A simple coincidence? It's all alcohol in the blood, just a figment of your imagination. Yeosang was asleep, he couldn't moan. However, when he did it again, you lowered your gaze even lower. His magnificent body was completely naked, his chest heaved with deep breathing, the muscles of his abs tensed with one sigh, his stomach retracted and tensed, as if he was being given a blowjob. You were trying to keep all your composure when you realized that it turned out to be true. Above Yeosang's dick was San's face.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck" your whole body tensed, you felt an incredibly strong arousal underneath. Maybe just knowing what's going on right now has made you so wet. You knew that there was a close bond between them, but you didn't realize that it was so close. And now you're in the middle of it all.

San, apparently, did this more than once, he slowly touched his lips to Yeo's cock, which, despite his master's sleep, became bigger and harder. The man didn’t want to wake up his friend, so he tried to do everything gently, slowly running his hand over the hardened cock. The pre-cum flowed from the head along the entire length and veins, and, frankly, the view was very appetizing. The naked San was lying on his stomach between Yeosang's thighs, his head slowly sank onto his cock, his lips captured the head and began to suck gently. From pleasure, San closed his eyes and with full pleasure continued to insert the cock further.

How hard you tried not to moan. Yeosang himself was still asleep, although he began to cry out moans more often while San enthusiastically sucked his cock. You couldn't even imagine such a thing, but you are watching them with your own eyes. You felt hot, you were ready to cry from how you wanted to touch your needy pussy. You gently lowered your hand to clit and slowly and silently circled it. A jolt of pleasure went through your body, but you didn't show it.

"Ah, mmff, ah" Yeosang began to wake up and at the same time slightly thrust his hips into San's mouth, to which the man sat down even deeper with a groan. Gods, your friend sucked another friend's dick. San started the cock by his cheeks, licked from the base to the head, without missing a single drop of pre-cum, smacking his lips with ecstasy took his thrusts. You have accelerated the movements of your hand, you feel that you will come very soon.

After a few more thrusts of Yeosang, you heard his long moan, saw how his stomach tightened and how he poured cum down his friend's throat. You wonder if Yeosang knows who did this to him? The answer didn’t take long to come. After San swallowed all the cum, he stood over Yeo's chest. With one hand, San caught him by the cheeks, forcing him to open his jaw, with the other hand he ran over his hard cock.

"San," Yeosang whispered, to which San ordered him to open his mouth wider with his hand. When you looked at San, you realized that San was looking at you. A heartbeat. You held your breath, your hand stopped masturbating. His closed eyes were looking at you, he smirked at you and cum on Yeosang's face. His cum got on his nose, eye, lips and mouth. Yeosang obediently took every drop with his mouth.

"Fuck," you whispered, squirming under the covers because you had never been so horny before. You wanted to hide and get free. You wanted to cum. And San realized it faster.

"Y/n, aren't we friends?" he asked, carefully pulling off your cover. You nodded.

"You won't mind, will you, y/n? Yeosang and I are friends, you and I are friends, and you want this too, right?" San pulled the cover off you, thereby revealing to himself a view of you in a T-shirt and in only lace panties. Yeo knelt next to San and also looked at your wet folds. Yes, you are friends. Yes, you wanted your friends terribly. Yes, you imagined these guys from your department fucking you. Yes, you wanted it to go on.

"Yes," you said confidently. San smiled, Yeosang smirked. They both reached for your face, and San kissed you first, wetly and casually, biting your lip. After that, Yeosang bit into your lips, forcing you to open up under his pressure. When you felt that he handed you San's cum, which was in his mouth, you moaned into his lips. Breaking away from you, San and Yeosang kissed and knelt down again. You didn't know if alcohol was playing with you or not, but you didn't care.

"Did you want to do everything yourself, kitten?" said San, spreading your legs wider. When he didn't get an answer, Yeosang grabbed your face.

"Did you want to play without us, honey?" left them without an answer, Yeosang pressed your face harder with his fingers. "Please answer."

"I... I didn't want to distract you."

"You wanted to leave us without fun, you bad kitten," San growled as he touched your horny clit. You felt everything begin to pull at the bottom of your stomach again. Gods… At this time, Yeosang pulled up that T-shirt, removing it from your body with one finger and clung to your nipple. You started to tremble and feel like you were going to make a complete mess. Right in front of your friends.

"San, no, no, now I..." you started, but San just started working faster on the clit.

"You're going to make a complete mess, aren't you?"

"San, Yeosang, let me go out, I'll come back, I..." you screamed when you felt two fingers pulling your panties apart and ending up in your pussy. They were Yeo's fingers.

"Do what we say," Yeosang flashed his eyes at you from under his brows, forcing you to give up all attempts to get out of this trap.

They continued to torture your pussy and you knew that you could no longer restrain yourself. Without stopping, with rhythmic hand works, your friends sent you over the edge of your mind. You screamed, not really worried that someone might hear, because you felt the most powerful orgasm in your life. Your juices started pouring out of you, but the men didn't slow down their moves, making you flow only harder.

"Damn, I..." You couldn't believe they made you squirt.

"Dirty dirty kitten" San smiled d to dimples on his cheeks "You just couldn't help yourself right in front of our eyes" he stroked your throbbing and wet pussy, making you tremble.

"I bet you've been wanting to do this with us for a long time, little slut," Yeosang's deep voice rang out.

"One day we will definitely do it again," and from these words of San, you loudly swallowed saliva.

"Now be a good friend, open your legs and mouth wider," San ordered, stroking your ass from below. You looked at Yeosang, who approached your face and took you by the hair. You obediently opened your mouth to his big and hot cock. He pushed half inside you, but you could feel the salty taste of his pre-cum and moan. Now you understood why San had such a face, it was impossible not to enjoy Yeosang's cock.

Meanwhile, San, watching you obediently accept a friend's cock with your mouth, entered your pussy with one thrust, forcing you to moan into Yeo's cock. He quickly picked up an accelerated pace and you couldn't focus on him.

"You better not get distracted, darling" Yeosang fixed your head with his hand and began to hip into your mouth, head touching the wall of your throat. The sensations caused tears to flow down your face, saliva to flow out of your mouth, and your pussy was approaching a second orgasm.

"San" after Yeo's conversion, San immediately came out of you and went to your face while Yesan came out of your mouth and took San's place. And you felt his cock in your pussy and the way he stretched you even more.

"You're such a good kitten, why haven't we played with you before huh?" without giving you an answer, San turned your head to his cock and entered your mouth at the same pace as a second ago into your pussy.

You were panting and moaning, you were squirming, but both guys were holding you tight enough. Who would have thought that you would live to see this? You felt Yeosang's hips become more chaotic and deep, knocking the air out of your lungs. After a couple of seconds, he pinched your waist in his hands and finished in you with hot cum. Damn it, your friend has cummed a whole bucket into you and you want to cum again at the very thought.

Still not fully recovering, Yeosang moved away and lay down next to you, returning the place for San and kissing your face and neck. San returned his cock to your pussy and moaned.

"You like to take everything from the two of us, right? Our friend's sperm has not cooled down in you yet, how are you ready to accept me?" you almost cum from these words. You started moaning and crying louder because San set an incredible pace of thrusts.

"Y/n, cum. Now," Yesan ordered in your ear and you obeyed him. Your walls tightened around San's cock and began to pulsate around him, from which San cum deep into you. After pausing for a couple of seconds to catch his breath, San came out of you and looked at that reddened and exhausted pussy, from which their sperm began to flow and he grinned at this view. San adjusted your wet panties and lightly patted your pussy.

He lay down on the other side of you and also started kissing your face along with Yeosang.

"You are so good, kitten, tomorrow you will walk with the same panties, communicate with others, knowing that our cum is inside you, feeling like such a pretty whore," San whispered stroking your whole body with his hand.

"You are a true friend, y/n," Yeosang whispered.

You lay with them and understood only one thing. Yes, you would like to repeat this night over and over again.

[naomihatake]

Solitude

you can find other zoro fics here: Naomi's archive

pairing: zoro x fem reader

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff, consumption of alcohol

summary: One would expect the swordsman to unwind after a battle, but there are times when he can't help but think. Alcohol doesn't always come in handy when a specific crewmate he grew fond of cuddled a tad bit too close to his heart.

word count: 3.3k

theme song: 'Daylight' by David Kushner

A/N: It can be imagined with both anime and opla Zoro. I don't know if he's slightly ooc or not, but I genuinely wanted to dig into this side of a relationship with the swordsman. The awkward times when he's getting used to it and simply accepting everything as a new part of his life.

I didn't forget about my multi chapter fiction, I just didn't find the inspiration for the 8th chapter. I couldn't help but write this for my own comfort and I want to mention that this original art of @tea917339 inspired me (check it out, it's absolutely amazing!!!)

I'm always open for your opinions and comments, so don't be shy about sharing your thoughts with me! <3

Usually, nights with the Straw Hats were lively, even after battles that left the crew members injured and bleeding. They would pick each other up and cheer up by simply bickering — that's what Zoro thought. 

The same way Luffy's hand extended to help him back on his feet after he plopped down on the ground to rest. The same way Zoro reassured Chopper after the kid tried his best not to get emotional afterwards. The same way Sanji threw some remarks and the swordsman spat back in annoyance. And, for fuck’s sake, Nami reminded him for the tenth time that day he owes her berry for something he completely forgot about. Usopp was sighing in relief every time he remembered they escaped with life again while Robin agreed with a soft smile on her face. Truly, it was almost insane — Zoro wouldn't exactly call that a miracle because he's doubtful of its existence. 

However, he couldn't bring himself to cheer up once the celebration of their victory was over and everyone went into their rooms. He was on the night watch and all he found himself capable of doing was burying in memories of all kinds, be it happy or not. With not enough alcohol in his system yet, it was rather hard to push those thoughts into the back of his head. 

The swordsman sat on the deck, his back resting against the wooden cabin. Hidden from prying eyes, he found peace in the temporary silence. Rare were the times when the crew was so peaceful and it was usually during the night, when they were asleep, because otherwise they would've caused a mayhem. 

The side of his mouth curled upwards at that thought. It was equally annoying and endearing, since in the months spent with them he found a lot of things about himself. Like the fact that he found his crew to be a family, like the way he sometimes found peace even in the chaos caused by them. 

Or like the presence he grew way too fond of along the way. That witch — she truly was one, judging by the effect she had on him. Only a spell could've made his mind get so clouded, only some unknown force could've managed to soften his edges so well. She joined the crew from the first day and he believed that a spell had been casted upon him since the first time they gazed at each other. 

Right. Zoro gulped down. The effect she had on him was equally annoying and pleasant. 

Annoying because he should've focused on his promise to Kuina, not get lost in between fairytales. He wasn't by any means the charming prince riding a white horse and he didn't intend on becoming one anytime soon. It filled him up with feelings unknown to him. Zoro might be a fan of adventures and he had rather insane ideas — as one might say —, but such sentiments were an entirely new path to walk on. 

First and foremost, it bothered him the fact that he wasn't sure he could fulfill both his promises and whatever the fuck was going on between him and the witch. He couldn't pinpoint what was happening, it was all in a blur, even if everything was clearing up whenever he saw her. 

That's when he's reminded why he likes their relationship — what kind of, he didn't know. When he saw her, there were always sparkles in her eyes and the smile on her face would grow wider, lines of happiness appearing on her cheeks. The curl of her lips would make his heart skip a few beats and he would relax his shoulders unconsciously. Eyes filled with joy looked at him as if he was the very reason behind her purest sensations. 

Also, not to mention how warm the depths of his chest felt when she was near. The heat would rise to his cheeks, which he sometimes found uncomfortable, but Zoro never ran away. A side of him wished so badly to go the other way and never look back, ignore her and those stupid damned feelings, but he never gathered enough courage to do so. Every single time, he would remain stuck, with his eyes stuck on her frame and fingers aching to touch and lips tingling to kiss. 

God fucking dammit. 

With a curse rolling off his tongue casually as he closed his eyes, the back of his head collided with the wooden wall he rested his back against. Zoro sat with his knees bent and feet planted onto the floor, only his Wado Ichimoji in his proximity. With its hilt glued to his shoulder, the sheathed sword was in between his fingers. By that time, he held it for comfort.

If that's what he could call it. The swordsman wasn't sure what else to associate it with. Or was it familiarity? The white sword was the only memory he had of a long lost friend and his first home at the dojo, by the side of his sensei. It was the only object tying him to his past, to his beginning, to times when he was much weaker, but determined nonetheless. 

To care about his promise was familiar. Zoro wouldn't give it up — proof was the simple fact that he still achieved to become the strongest swordsman in the world. One day, he will meet Mihawk again and when he does, he will be stronger than the first time he encountered him at Baratie. 

Looking back, it's been so long since. So long since a new life appeared before his eyes and he accepted it with no hesitation. He was a pirate, a Straw Hat, Luffy's first mate. The swordsman swore to help his captain achieve his own dream. 

Those promises were familiar. The erratic heartbeats caused by the witch weren't. The sensation settling in the pits of his stomach when her gentle fingers would brush over his arm weren't. It was foreign and it didn't sit well with him. 

Kuina. 

He still saw her face in his dreams sometimes and it was usually her ghost haunting him. Other times, in her place would be one of his friends and each time it was harder to fall asleep. 

When awake, memories of her replayed so vividly in his mind. Swords clashing together and whistling as they cut the air in half. A grin brightening up Kuina's face when he would fall on his butt and cuss her out again. They promised that one of them would become the greatest, but he was the only one capable of that, because her bones lay in a grave somewhere far away. 

Zoro opened his eyes and stared at the night sky with scars scattered all over it. A calming view, even if there was tumult inside of him, hidden in between ribs that broke with each new pump of his heart. His brown eyes fell to the floor and he crossed his arms on top of his knees, gripping the sword tighter. His chest puffed up with air when he inhaled and he let out a heavy sigh. 

“Zoro?” a soft whisper made him jump out of his thoughts. 

The swordsman snapped his head and he was greeted by the sight of someone he didn't even know he was searching for. A side of him wished to say something along the lines of “fuck off” while the other side desperately wanted to soak into her presence. 

A witch, indeed. 

His eyes ran up and down her figure. She didn't seem surprised to find him there, in a rather hidden spot, which meant she didn't search for too long. Did she even search for him or did she also wish to be alone for a while? The first place to search for someone during night shifts was the crows nest. 

She held two bottles of what he guessed to be alcohol and she swung them carefully before stepping closer. His chest tightened and he found it harder to breathe, even if it was inevitably easier than before at the same time. For some reason, she had that effect on him. 

Maybe he knew that reason all too well, but he just avoided thinking of it. 

“You told me we'd drink something together,” she reminded him in that warm voice of hers. 

The sweet melody that calmed his nerves. 

He didn't know what kind of energy radiated off him, but her behavior was far more gentle than usual. She wasn't hesitant, the witch never hesitated around him, she was just mindful of her actions and words. 

He didn't know why for a second he saw understanding in the curl of her lips when she crouched down. Unconsciously, Zoro knitted his eyebrows together in confusion at her gestures. 

The bottles hit the floor and she let go of them. Her eyes sparkled like they always did, but there was something different that time — a warmth they held only when she comforted Chopper or encouraged Usopp. Warmth similar to the shy rays of the sun of the morning, when the cold is still lingering and there's a specific scent in the air. Gentleness he only ever saw in her, because Luffy's kindness was different. 

A warmth so humane that was visible for the crew alone or those in need of it. 

The witch recognized something in his demeanor and Zoro had no clue what that was about. He could only see it in her gaze. 

“I suppose it isn't really the perfect time for me to butt in, hm?” she whispered. 

Like a promise only for him to hear. A secret. 

“How'd you find me here?” he found himself speaking before he thought it through. 

The question made her shrug. 

“I pick up easily on your energy. It's quite unmistakable, y'know?” 

There it was — one of the main reasons why she had the nickname of Witch both on the ship and outside of it. She's spoken about that for a few times and he had to admit he understood what she meant. However, the swordsman only felt those “energies” (as she liked to call them) in specific moments. He remembers that time in Lougetown when everything felt like energy instead of palpable objects, the reason why he won that fight. 

Sometimes he seriously wondered if she hadn't met his sensei at some point in her life. 

“What is it like?” once again, he asked before thinking. 

The witch pulled her lips in a tight line and hummed, gathering the right words to describe it. Her gaze bounced around and she grimaced once, when she probably found her choice of words to be unpleasant or inappropriate — she always scrunched her nose when it was difficult to find the proper terms. 

“It's sharp, but warm. Kind of steady, constantly flickering. For example, Luffy's energy is always all around the place and Chopper's gets out of control easily. Robin has the steadiest energy of all of us, even if it was kind of… strange lately.” 

Zoro arched his eyebrow at the last piece of information and only received a hand waving through the air. 

“Ignore the last part, I'm still figuring it out myself. No need to worry.” 

The swordsman knew the energy she was talking about was different than what he felt when she was in presence, but he wondered if whatever laid in her heart interfered with her ability to distinguish his being from the others. 

He watched as the witch looked at the bottles next to him and then clicked her tongue, deep in thought. 

“I don't know if they'd help you tonight, but I'll let you be.” 

None of those words were accusatory. They were all coming from a place of kindness and patience. 

Suddenly, her fingers curled around his bicep, below the bandana wrapped around his arm. Skin on skin, her touch was hot and pleasant, even if very confusing. 

What was she thinking? 

His puzzled feelings were written on his face. Uncertainty laid in his dark brown eyes and his fingers held onto the sword tighter. He didn't even notice when the grip on his Wado Ichimoji loosened up. 

Her gaze was reassuring as ever and she gently rubbed her thumb into his tensed muscles. 

Zoro had to at least admit to himself that vulnerability was uncomfortable. Without spoken words, she picked up on it. 

“I don't know for sure if I'll get to sleep tonight, so you could cut your night shift in half.” She's having issues with nightmares again? he silently wondered. “I'll be in my room, reading. Do what you see fit.” 

Instantly, she was back on her feet with her back straight and walked away. The swordsman didn't know what happened or what he should understand. 

He was utterly and completely confused. What just happened? 

Oh. The witch gave him space and time to think. She also told him where she was in case he decided to grip at the promise of comfort and hold tightly onto it. The opportunity laid right in front of him and he was the only one to decide whether he used it to his advantage or not. 

Zoro didn't notice when his shoulders relaxed. His body wasn't as tense as a few minutes ago, his back didn't feel as stiff. The exhale he left wasn't heavy anymore. 

The swordsman knew what this was about. Maybe it was the time to just accept his feelings and get on with it. He had to suck it up and deal with it, even if dealing with her wasn't the right way to word it out. It always felt more like she was dealing with him. 

With closed eyes, he remembered the last time her lips brushed by his. Gosh, it was so hot and his blood was bubbling like lava in his veins. It wasn't an accident, he intended on kissing her back with fever, but he had a hard time accepting everything. It was… weird. Facing that reality was troublesome. 

She has yet to lose her patience. The witch remained firm and each one of her questions were answered by gestures instead of words — something familiar for him. She was far more skilled with expressing herself even when sensitive topics came up. 

That was a miracle. Her presence alone could be compared to a miracle because it was completely unexpected and somehow always caressing him the right way. It was scary how accurately she could read him and the same applied to him. 

The sky before his eyes continued to sparkle with stars and he remained still in his place. His fingers caressed the scabbard of his sword as he blinked in the darkness, the chill air of the night invading his lungs. 

It was complicated and so simple at the same time. Zoro knew the answer — he just had to come to terms with it. 

Just as age promised, the witch sat on the bed in her room with a blanket warming her up. The lamp on the nightstand by her side casted a golden light over the pages of a book sitting in her lap. It was hard to focus on the story — a captivating part of pirate's history, sometime before the appearance of Gold D. Roger.

Her thoughts were followed by the swordsman. Zoro's mood was… sad at best. She didn't expect to find him in that state, but she quickly came to the conclusion that leaving him alone might do him good. 

She tapped her finger over the pages of the old book and clicked her tongue. Was it right to leave him? The witch never saw him in a similar mood and she also realized she didn't know how to help him. There could be a lot of ways to bring him back to earth or at least keep him afloat. Those ways were only known by him. All she could do was guess and hope for the best outcome. 

Heavy footsteps echoed on the other side of the door. When it opened wide, there was Zoro's tall silhouette, his white sword in his hand and one bottle of alcohol in his other. He came closer, his face hard as a stone. The pink hue painting his cheeks was the only detail giving away the fact that he drank one of the bottles she brought hours ago. 

“Why aren't you sleeping yet?” he said with a gruff voice as he plopped down on the mattress. 

There were only a few hours left before the sun would rise up from the sea. 

“You've probably guessed already,” she averted her eyes from his figure. 

“Nightmares again?” 

The witch only nodded, eyes focused on the book. Zoro let the sword against the couch. 

“I won't fall asleep, so you could as well take a night off,” only then she looked at him again. 

His darkened eyes have been locked on her since he entered the valley. The witch wanted to move, to eventually get away from his knowing gaze, but she knew there was no possible way to do it. 

“Are you alright?” she blurted out. 

She had to fill that silence with some kind of conversation. Maybe that wasn't exactly the wisest decision, considering his shoulders visibly tensed and he straightened his back. A frown appeared on her face. She regretted talking. 

The witch figured out he needed more time to sort his thoughts. 

“Why don't you go to sleep?” she tilted her head to the side. “The fight has worn us all out. You could rest for a while.” 

“And you?” 

“We'll be sailing for a few days. I can sleep ‘till afternoon.” 

“Nothing will happen for as long as you're on this ship with us,” the reassurance slipped so easily. “Do you trust us?” 

“More than anything,” the witch responded with a faint smile. 

Several weeks ago, her answer and reaction would've been so different. She made so much progress since she first met them, her trust now fully laying in their palms. Long ago, she would've backed away at such a question and, if they were lucky enough, the witch would admit she “needs time to adjust”. 

At first, all he did was lean close enough for his shoulder to touch hers. The swordsman only intended to enjoy some peace while he shared his booze with the witch. From time to time, she'd gulp from the bottle and then give it back to him before continuing her lecture. After each two minutes, the room would be filled by the rustling of pages. 

It didn't last long until he fell into her trap and tiredness dragged him glued to her. With his head in her lap, Zoro bumped his nose in her thigh. The witch's fingers ran through his hair and he let out an audible exhale, eyes closing instantly. Greeted by darkness, he felt warm not only on the inside. The blanket she curled around herself earlier was now covering his upper body as he sunk into the soft mattress and her. 

One of his hands curled around her knee and he dug his fingers into her flesh. Her leg jerked slightly at the unexpected touch, but when he tried to move away, she muttered a sweet “It's okay”, stopping his movements. 

The oxygen in his lungs was exchanged with her perfume and he bit back a groan. Her voice was like a lullaby, even if there weren't many words rolling off her tongue. Zoro wasn't bothered by the light of the lamp, completely forgetting about the world around him once her fingers continued running through his hair. 

His hand traveled up, until it fully rested on her thigh, the warmth of her body seeping through the thin material of her pants. Truth be told, he's never felt better. 

She was a remedy. His remedy. 

“Good night.”

Zoro heard her whisper solely because he was near her; otherwise he would've confounded it with the night breeze. 

Maybe giving in to her affection isn't that bad. 

[firstruleofmethclub]

Ranking the Primarchs specifically by how good an idea it is to name your children after them:

1. Konrad Curze. This is great because it’s the cool name of a guy I love, and a multi-faceted reference, but basically just a name you’d see in the wild already. I think Konrad is better spelt with a K than a C anyway, and if you’re worried about the last name, you can either go to its inspiration and use “Kurtz”, or simply substitute with your own!

2. Rogal Dorn. Now I’m not a fan of the character, but the name is a great one-two punch. It’s phonetic, it’s unique enough to be noteworthy, but not bizarre enough to cause the kid too many problems. You can substitute Dorn for your own family name, but honestly with this one, I recommend you keep it. Maybe change your own family name to match.

3. Magnus the Red. Now if you’re putting a “the” in your kid’s name, and following it by a “2nd”, you are already causing them enough grief, but if you’re putting anything other than a number there, it’s gonna be ten times worse. That said, Magnus in isolation is both a great name, and a real one that won’t turn too many heads. It’s maybe a little pretentious, but if the greatest chess player in the world can’t be pretentious, then who can be?

4. Lorgar. Basically just the poor man’s Rogal Dorn, naming your scion Lorgar will give you the chance to have them carry your own surname, instead of a fictional one, but it’s unlikely this will result in one as iconic as our VIIth or VIIIth Primarchs. While rating these, I tried to think how a teacher doing their first roll call of the new class would handle reading the name, and I think they could handle “Lorgar”, and your kid probably will suffer only minor teasing for it at absolute worst.

5. Vulkan. A pretty legit name! The thing here is, everyone will be assuming you named your kid after an entirely different space thing. And the ones who see it written will think you don't even know how to spell it right. My partner thought me putting Vulkan this high was stupid, but then I read out some of the other names that are coming up and she was suddenly much less bothered by Vulkan making #5.

6. Horus. Everyone who hears it spoken will assume it's "Horace", and everyone who sees it written will assume you named them after Egyptian mythology. But still not a bad get.

7. Jaghatai Khan. Now this one’s just a variant spelling of a famous guy from actual human history. That might get noticed by a few people, and some others might have a lot of trouble sounding it out at a glance, but honestly, if my roommate can order pizza exclusively using the name “Atilla the Fun”, you can name your kid after Chagatai Khan.

8. Lion El’Johnson. This one is a mixed bag. I’m often thinking, you could just take the first name from a lot of these, and ditch the surname, but that’s a bad idea here. If you pull straight from the inspiration for the first Primarch, and name your child Lionel Johnson, you’ll be fine. But if you’re at a kid’s birthday and your poor baby has to introduce themself as “Lion”, that’s gonna cause a world of hurt for them real quick.

9. Leman Russ. Now honestly, taken as a whole, this one’s actually a pretty bad idea. Anybody who sees that you called your kid “Leman” will think you wanted them to have a bad life. "Lemon" might not the most wounding of jibes, but the real reason this one gets even as high as a middling rating is because if you name your kid “Leman Russ X” on paper, and just call them “Russ” in day-day-operations, like people do with middle names, that’s actually not bad.

10. Mortarion. Mortarion is a pretty cool name, that belongs to a man whom it suits very well “Death guy, the guy of death”. For sure. But I want you to imagine this: You’re a single parent, you’re at the park, there’s another good looking single parent by the bench. You’re ready to make your move. You help your kid down from the monkey bars and make your way over, holding their hand. You say “Hey, I see you around here a lot. I’m just here with my child, Mortarion”. You see where I’m going. +1pt for Morty.

11. Roboute Guilliman. This is one that almost seems like a real name. Almost. I’ve come to this list with a very Western-focused mindset, just because that’s where I live, but no matter where in the world your child grows up, you’re putting them through pronunciation hell by naming them Roboute Guilliman. +1pt for sharing the very generic nickname of just “Rob” or “Bob” though. This is a genuinely bad idea, but naming your progeny after the big blue boyscout is gonna seem like a great idea compared to basically the very quick slide downhill we have from this point on.

12. Fulgrim. Has definite potential as a last name, but the teasing potential is high while the resemblance-to-an-actual-name factor is low. Saving grace is its mercifully low syllable count of 2.

13. Sanguinius. Could make a great last name, maybe even middle name, but it's an absolute mouthful to put on a kid as a first name. A similar situation to the above, but with twice the syllables. Very little nickname potential.

14. Omegon. One of the somewhat subtler references, not even everyone with a passing knowledge of Primarch lore is aware that this guy is one. But this mainly just means people will think you named your spawn in anticipation of your soon-to-be-released laundry detergent, instead of a secret space baby. I’m only gonna defend this if you had twins, and unfortunately, you’re probably need to name the other one #16. +1 pt for “Meg”.

15. Corvus Corax. Definitely the one that’s most likely to have people asking “What did you name your kid after?” They might not know it’s a Primarch, but they know it’s some dumb nerd shit. Alliterative names are fun though, and they sound like they could make friends with Michael Corvin in class for “Names we rejected for the dude from The Crow”.

16. Alpharius. While certainly not the worst case scenario for pronunciation, it’s definitely gonna be a struggle for your young’n. The real kicker here is that you’ve named your child after a nigh-immortal demigod from the far future, and you’ve managed to pick not only one of the ones that dies, but you haven’t even picked one with a cool name. If we’re throwing practical out the window, it may as well at least not be lame. +1pt for “Alf”. Mm. Maybe make that half a point.

17. Angron. Much like the real Angron, this one seems like you're setting your child up to be saddled with rage issues. +1pt for “Ron”.

18. Ferrus Manus. Comes with a built-in surname, which could be a pro, but more likely it just causes problems, especially when that surname is “Manus”. Even if you don't use it, you're still stuck with Ferrus as a bad first name. You could make "Rus" a nickname out of it I guess, but there's Leman Russ above, which is just a much better use case for that argument on all fronts, including the extra s.

19. Perturabo. Not a great guy, very little nickname potential, directly attached to the works of a real-world insane cultist, doesn't sound too good as a new name, big struggle with these letters that look like they're about to all spell different things, and to me, Perturabo as a word sort of always evoked… I dunno. Tantrums and illnesses. Not something you want for you and yours, I’m sure. Also, “Perty”? Eugh.

20. The Purged. Seems like it'd be tough to get past the naming convention requirements of most countries.

21. The Forgotten. Has the same problems as the above, but it's much cooler to be purged than to be forgotten. Plus, this would be super rude, no? Like, Bart from the Simpsons out in the rain not being picked up by his dad, but that's your NAME.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

I liked Kieran, maybe only because he reminded me of myself as a kid. Constantly feeling left out and being both harassed for everything you do do and never being trusted with anything to even proof yourself capable, like the knowledge about the truth about ogerpon. I still am, working on that, but was way more jealous of other people hanging out with my friends simply because I had so precious few. Idk how much it would have fucked with me if my verbally abusive older sister (I do also have one of those) simply decided that one of my friends was now one of hers instead and kicking me out while my friend isn't saying or doing anything to be like "no, actually I want to spend time with [anon] too".

Obviously his obsession with ogerpon and the following Drive to get stronger is pretty hyperbolic but I did also have a bit of that. Just rejecting everything, throwing everything back at everyone since it was, or at least felt, like its always my family and the people around me just throwing shit at me too. Did I overreact a bunch of times? Oh yeah for sure. Teenage tantrums will get ya, but I really did need that. Without it I don't think I would have ever learned to call out my family's abuse and other people treating me poorly. Since as a kid that just radiates low self esteem you seem to get treated like shit from just about everyone.

Anyway all that is to say, throwing around things like "I think this kid would shoot up a school if only he had access to guns" isn't, imho, great. And I don't even really particularly care about your instance rn, like it's a fictional character in a Pokémon game who cares. So sorry for being the one who got my rant lol. It's just something I've been seeing more of lately, people throwing "they'd shoot up a school" not only at fictional characters but actual human beings. Which I think is fucked. Thankfully no one ever said that to me, but I cannot imagine how hurtful that must be, like if we ignore all the other negative effects it has for a second, when your actual school life was hell enough to make you consider ending your own life, like it was for me, to just get thrown another brick at your head that people think you would be monster enough to murder people.

...well there's a lot to unpack here.

So first up, you have my genuine condolences for your extraordinarily shitty school life. You clearly had the very rough end of the stick, and it's clearly still hurting, and that sucks.

However. I am not thrilled that you just trauma dumped in my inbox because you over-projected onto a fictional character, and I'll ask you not to do that again. Particularly when your "rant" is explicitly aimed at trying to make me feel bad for criticising a fictional character that you, once again, have over-projected onto.

Like listen, I too had an extraordinarily shitty school life, and I also had very few friends (and at three separate extended points, a combination of Literally No Friends At All, AND Being Actively Targeted For Bullying; the first time around, the bullying was led by the class teacher, even.) I have very much been there, done that and got an entire t-shirt shop. But I still didn't come away from that feeling that I was entitled to other people liking me or wanting to be friends with me, because no one is obliged to like or be friends with anyone else. I may have occasionally felt jealous, but I didn't throw tantrums and demand perfect loyalty from the few friends I did make, because that would have been abusive as all hell and would have justly made them want nothing to do with me. And, crucially and relevantly to the fictional character in the fictional world that we are discussing, I did not fixate on someone I wanted to be my friend, see that they were afraid of me and wanted to be friends with someone else, and then throw such a tantrum about it that I physically fought that someone else for the 'rights' to that friend regardless of their consent in that matter, apparently with the intention of abducting them if I won. And on losing that fight, I did not storm off and start amassing a collection of stronger and stronger weapons so I could take over my school and prove my dominance over them, emotionally abusing anyone who couldn't keep up with me because of family problems along the way. I presume you did not either!

And if I had, then the trauma and loneliness I received would be irrelevant - actions borne of trauma are still actions, with real world consequences, and you are still responsible for them regardless of how bad you felt.

(I mean, not to put too fine a point on it, but school shooters are people who are also lonely and often bullied. It's very interesting therefore that you dismiss them as "monsters" while demanding that all behaviour from such people up to the shooting be excused. But the issue with such people is the entitlement they feel and the abuse they therefore dish out. Shootings are just the most extreme symptom of that - they're far from the only symptom.)

I cannot stress this enough - you are not the fictional character of Kieran in the game Pokémon Scarlet and Violet. You did not make his choices, or perform his actions (I assume). Criticism of him is not criticism of you. No one is accusing you of being about to shoot up a school. You state that you don't care that he's a fictional character, but I'm afraid you very much should, because that is the crucial difference. I am sorry that you're seeing a lot of people accusing real life people of being school shooters, but that is not what has happened here, is it?

You're welcome to write back. But I'll warn you very clearly - I am absolutely not at home to you trauma dumping further, or trying to make me feel guilty for talking about a fictional character because you have over-projected and therefore are taking it personally. That is a You Problem, and I will block you without reading if you do.

However, I am going to finish by reiterating my very genuine sympathies for your school experience. It truly was an appalling time for me, and it seems like it was for you, too. I hope you can process that trauma now, and find peace.

[skloomdumpster]

I keep trying to work out why Silva went to such lengths to build up this hyper-idealised image of Andreas in Sky's mind and I keep coming up short. I mean, okay, he probably wanted Sky to have decent male role models (and Silva felt guilty about killing Andreas) but Sky already had one of those in Silva. Silva was all the things he claimed Andreas was. Which makes what he did even more baffling.

I feel bad for Sky too - imagine being told growing up every five minutes what a great, noble warrior your dad is and then the real thing shows up - and he's basically an overgrown high school bully - Silva didn't just lie about how Andreas died, he lied about his entire personality. In Sky's shoes, I'd be pissed too.

I wondered once or twice even if Rosalind had Andreas under mind control - not regularly, but often enough that she'd done permanent damage to his mind in some way. Or maybe he'd been hit on the head one time too many. Beatrix was a better strategist than he was - and less easily manipulated - and she was 16.

Of course, Andreas may have just been Like That™ to begin with.

I cannot put in enough words how much fun this ask was to get!! CACKLING at the Andreas' comments.

Alright so I thought at length about the Silva conundrum, I remember thinking the same, literally why are you making up this saint about a bully? Why are you generating distance between you and the son you raised? The boy who wants to be your son?

And the it dawned on me that the goal is exactly that.

I think Silva felt incredibly guilty over Sky and that this enormous sensation of duty and guilt has been his north for longer than anything else has. Silva is a man who describes his father's attack to a Burned One and the fact he took upon his young (10 years old!!) shoulders the burden to give his father a mercy kill. It's Duty Duty Duty.

And I think it's important we differentiate duty from obedience. Andreas is obedient. Andreas hears orders and ignores his own criticism of them, he follows trough no matter what. Silva is dutiful. He has morals and a strict honor code and he'll sometimes fuck himself up over these, he'll get tunnel vision when he has 1 goal in mind (cough "your duty is to Alfea!" said to Sky about spying on Bloom)

All this just to say, I think Silva didn't see himself as a good role to Sky not even for a second. Not when he was a drunk and had a baby he didn't even really want, not when he was sober and had to deal with the fact he had taken a father from this kid - had murdered Andreas, and certainly not when Sky started asking questions and he wanted to give a good answer so he projects some of his traits, some of his own father's traits into a fictional Andreas and only digs the hole deeper. By doing what he thinks is right: killing Andreas, taking Sky under his wing, lying to Sky so he can have a good role model, Saul only makes himself less and less of a good guy in his own eyes and so he NEEDS to push himself from Sky and well... Rinse repeat.

A vicious cycle you cannot be free from unless you're willing to go through dismantling all of it. I wonder if a small part of Saul felt soul crushing relief when Andreas came back and ruined everything. Yes, he revealed Saul was a liar in more ways than one, he showed Saul was a murderer... But also he showed Sky he was not the Andreas from the stories. Which certainly hurt like hell to Sky, but must've felt a little good from Saul's perspective, since he was painting an Andreas who could easily step in and take his son and that simply wasn't reality.

I'm probably rambling, sorry!!

Now, about Andreas, I AGREE SO MUCH. Honestly, about Andreas AND Saul! Strategic my ass, these two are terrible. But I do think Saul has a much clearer head during combat, he can explore his team's strengths and the enemies weaknesses, where Andreas is brute force.

Which, sure, is pretty bad when we look at it head on, but it's not something without its place in a war. Rosalind promoted him for a reason and I can see it, when you're a bloody war where there's no place for hesitation, no place for mercy and obedience is all your commander asks from, Andreas is the perfect soldier. He's a man who'll push through whatever is front of him with sheer brute force and that's what the Burned Ones called for most of the time in the battle field, someone relentless and blood thirsty. In the long run? Not so much!

I think it shows how Andreas is as a character: pragmatic, brute, loyal - that he doesn't question Rosalind's orders and fucks up his relationship with Bea by doing this. Why did he lie about what happened in Aster Dell? Anyone with a brain would understand he'd have a better luck twisting what Aster Dell stood for (a corrupt place) than twisting his role in its destruction. Yet he does that!! He's not a very bright man and that's alright, being smarter than he was would've probably gotten him murdered sooner tbh.

[aurora-313]

In all your readings, have you found another couple that functions perfectly as both platonic friends and as lovers as ichiruki do, but that is so underutilized by its creator in any capacity?

(Imagine Lisa easing out from Black and Blue, then she and Kaien are friends for a little while, then they see each other once a century.Fans of their relationship will be upset, and it will be their right. What will not be their right will be to act nasty about it. You know that you assume a risk with a WIP. )

Any author can do what they want with their story, but when you create expectations that you don't meet, people will be upset, especially if they pay you, and you use their friendship/romance as a selling pitch. I still don't get why people are upset on the people that are upset. Again being a WIP, doesn't mean that I have to like whatever direction the author chooses. I personally rarely take risks on WIPs, so I STARTED BLEACH AFTER IT WAS FINISHED AND I KNEW THE ENDING, and the false advertising still hit me. I fell for ichiruki, and the end and then the soul burriel chapter where they barely speak on the phone and Renji now replaced Rukia as Ichigo's friend was an 180degree if I ever saw one. I wonder if in the Hell Arc, they'll even recognize each other anymore..

P.S. Thank you for remembering Rukia in your fiction more than her creator does in canon.

(Please forgive me. This answer went on a ramble and I don't think I actually answered your question.)

I'm sure I've seen a few in my time.

The ones that readily leap to mind from my childhood are Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill from Stargate SG1, and Doctor Weir and Major Shepperd from Stargate Atlantis. Although I'm not sure the first duo count since there's multiple alternate universes where they do get hitched.

But onto Bleach. IchiHime fits under this category in my opinion: the 'under developed and under utilized' part.

Sure we have the 'love you in five lives' speech and the not-kiss, but"

One: Kissing an unconscious person that you're not in a committed relationship with is not cool. Under any circumstance.

Two: She's consistently scared shitless of Ichigo's powers and rejects his hollow, even though the Hollow is literally his soul manifest.

Three: Orihime repeatedly demonstrates she doesn't really understand how Ichigo works.

In the post-Deicide novels, Orihime was actively happy Ichigo didn't have powers anymore, only to reluctantly change her tune when she saw how thoroughly miserable he was without them.

It would've been great character progression to see Orihime delve into that personal stance: why was she happy about Ichigo being powerless? Because she legitimately didn't want him to get hurt anymore? Or relief that he wouldn't turn into a monster again?

And overcoming those personal scruples would've been a fantastic personal journey to see in the manga. Her coming to terms and reconciling her image of Ichigo being this heroic ideal and the flawed, deeply traumatized individual who had the capacity to be literally monstrous.

Orihime could've reexamined her feelings about ichigo at their core, and realise perhaps she doesn't actually love him after all. That she lusts after an ideal she's modelled in Ichigo's image. In realizing and coming to terms with that error, in abandoning her preconceived notions and actually seeing Ichigo for the first time, warts and all, Orihime could've paved the foundation to build a genuine friendship. Later possibly a romance.

If this was the journey Orihime went on through Bleach, taken entirely of her own accord, with a conclusion on her own terms? Then I wouldn't have been nearly as jarred by the epilogue. Ichigo's Oedipus complex aside.

But I digress.

Rukia was one half of the main duo that made Bleach compelling. And Kubo absolutely pushed her away after FKT, attempting (key word "attempting") to put Orihime in her place. Which is a frankly bizarre decision. Rukia is the "Death" to Ichigo's "Strawberry". She is the deuteragonist, the inciting incident to the whole story and the primary motivation for the first two arcs (Aizen's and Kisuke's century's long trans-dimensional chess match aside).

Ichigo pushed himself beyond breaking and learned skills well beyond his paygrade to save Rukia from unjust execution. In his desperation to achieve that goal, Ichigo had to learn to fly before he could crawl, ultimately mutilating his own powerset in the process.

In any other media, in any other story, that tends to be a giant glowing give away about the nature of his feelings, even if Ichigo wasn't entirely clear on them himself. Its the classic handsome knight rescuing the princess in the tower and riding off in the sunset to live happily ever after.

Yes, Ichigo went through the same motions to rescue Orihime from Aizen, but he had doubts about her. Even in his venture, Ichigo entertained the idea that Orihime had legitimately betrayed them. Then the narrative goes out of its way to demonstrate her presence was merely an excuse for Ichigo to settle his scores with Grimmjow and Ulquiorra, and for Aizen to remove Soul Society's best weapon from play. Ichigo did personally want to save Orihime but he felt like he was conducting himself out of obligation, driven by his white knight/martyr complex. As soon as Ichigo felt Rukia's reiatsu flagging, he immediately shifted gears because 'Oh shit, gotta go save my totally platonic bestie first, bye!' and would've proceeded to do exactly that until Ulquiorra goaded him.

To me, Ichigo and Rukia is what made Bleach BLEACH. Their banter is what I loved about the first arcs, the teasing sprinkled with moments of heartfelt connection (in case you can't tell, its my favourite love language. Hence why Lisa and Kaien poke and tease each other all the time).

There's no 'Now I realise I why I wanted to save you' moment with Orihime in HM. She's narratively bait for Aizen's schemes and little more, as soon as she's safe-ish, Ichigo ditches and moves onto other grudge matches.

Then the final arc and the epilogue chapters roll around and I had to ask myself, is this even the same manga? Where's the Death and the Strawberry? Where is the bond that started ALL of this? Rukia is the woman who gave Ichigo the means to combat his despair, and they don't even talk anymore? You don't think Ichigo would've wanted to extend his congratulations for Rukia getting married? Having a kid? Getting prompted to Captaincy? Or anything to indicate they were friends at all?

(yes, Ichigo does in the novel but its telling one interaction between them is completely overshadows the story's 'main' pairing.)

My issue with TYBW and epilogue isn't the pairings - though that is a part. My issue is the narrative took great pains from the start to demonstrate Ichigo never felt like he belonged in the living world. His life was a dull tedious affair. The Fullbring arc reveals how much he actively hates Karakura and wants to leave ASAP.

Ichigo only began to truly LIVE once he gained shinigami powers (we'll ignore the fact he was only born and raised to be a weapon/universal battery). He loved every second of it, even when the power scared him and acted beyond his control. He fit into the realm of the dead far better than he ever did in the living.

Then Kubo turns around and claims; actually, NO. Ichigo's super content with exactly the same quiet kind of life he despised with every fibre of his being, living in a town he fucking hates and wanted to leave as soon as he graduated.

How does that shift in gears not raise serious red flags?

I'm not saying Ichigo had to go and live in Soul Society (though that was being set up thanks to the god-tier powers he'd been juiced with) but I did expect him to leave Karakura behind when all was said and done.

As a random-ish segue on the matter of friendship.

The Karakura gang feel like fair-weather friends more than anything else, excepting two circumstances: Ichigo and Chad (first arc) and Tatsuki and Orihime. Even then, those friendships become a stretch in later arcs before basically disappearing entirely. Sure, Chad, Ishida, Ichigo and Orihime have had life and death adventures together, but those scenarios were either a matter of self-preservation or wounded pride. Sometimes both.

But remove the supernatural circumstances, the Karakura gang felt like the average transient high school friendship. Circumstance brought them together, they would remain friends until graduation, then they'd all go their separate ways never to see each other again. Which is a sad state of affairs given Bleach's theme about the heart and nature of human connection.

But one must ask how strong those friendship really are when Ichigo will jump to the worst conclusion at the drop of a hat?

Orihime in Hueco Mundo, as stated above, Ichigo seriously entertained the idea she was a traitor until Ulquiorra claimed otherwise.

Chad with Xcution, Ichigo immediately assumed the worst intentions about it until Chad revealed he joined as a means to help Ichigo get his powers back.

Ishida joining the Quincy, Ichigo instantly assumed Ishida was 110% on board with the whole destroy reality plan until Ishida outright states 'I'm a double agent, you fucking dumbass.' (I give the Fullbringer arc incident a pass because Ichigo was not thinking clearly at the time)

It doesn't strike me as particularly strong or healthy when the first instinct is to immediately assume the worst.

But anyway, I shall get off my soapbox for now.

I do enjoy writing a great deal of Kaien, which means Rukia is inevitably involved given how intrinsically linked their stories are. Kind of hard to have a story about him and not have her in it. :D

I hope you continue to enjoy Kaien and Rukia in my writings. :)

[fourth-dimensional-thinker]

hello! i just finished reading "time is a flat circle" and oh my god it was soooo good. i read the whole thing in what was basically one sitting i just had to keep going. i've never enjoyed suddenly realizing how terribly fucked a character was by the narrative as much as i did reading that last chapter holy shit. amazed at your skill of weaving in all that sweet foreshadowing while the wholesome stuff was playing out. i will be thinking about this fic maybe forever

in an earlier post of yours you mentioned plans for a sequel! absolutely no pressure at all but i was wondering if that was still in the works? the entire situation from the end intrigues me. i gotta know of the horrors that await him

Oh, wow, hi! This ask made my whole day. I think I’ll print this out and frame it.

I’m very happy you enjoyed my fic so much. Writing Doc and Marty’s new dynamic and planning out all those little bits of foreshadowing were the highlights of creating the story for me. I’m a big fan of relationships that have genuine love between the characters, yet also have this twisted, underlying danger to them. There was no BTTF fic with that concept, so I had to make it for myself—and was excited to learn other people were into it, too!

I did say that I might write a sequel, and the status on that is…complicated. When I was writing TIAFC, I wasn’t planning to write a second part for it. That’s why the fic stops where it does, with the final chapter pulling the rug out from under Marty and ending on a sort-of cliffhanger. At the time, I didn’t know where else to go from there, so it just ended where it did. But after I got so many positive comments on the ending, I got motivated to try to do some work on a sequel. 

Even though I knew I was going to leave it open-ended, I still had a few ideas about Marty’s fate before I wrote the final chapter. I did a lot of brain-storming with a friend and wrote a few short sequel fics, one from Doc’s POV and another from The Pinheads' POV a few days after the ending wondering where Marty is (though, I don’t think I’ll publish those anytime soon). I liked parts of them, but I didn’t feel confident in continuing them. It felt too “dark” for it to be BTTF fic without also feeling out of character. 

Eventually, instead of trying to write a sequel, I turned towards writing original fiction. I still wanted to write a twisted-wholesome relationship, but this time with new characters. I’m currently working on a story that has evolved from this fic, and has grown into its own enough that you can’t distinguish any part of it that originates from BTTF—other than the 80s setting. That story is also not ready for the world either. 

So, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I haven’t stopped thinking about the core of TIAFC, but haven’t actually published anything for it in a long time. I don’t want to say that a sequel is definitely not going to happen or still could possibly happen. My motivation and available time for projects fluctuates wildly, so I’m not going to make any promises or guarantees. I’m very happy to talk about it, but I’m a bit iffy about writing for it at the moment. 

Now, if you would like to know more about Marty’s fate, I can share some things that have been consistent throughout all the various drafts and I thoughts I had:

Since this follows directly after the ending of TIAFC, Marty still has strong fear of Doc’s flux capacitors. Despite Doc’s mastery of his time travel skills, Marty is very nervous about the “disintegration” power he has, and is scared of physical contact from him.

Related to the point above, even though he wouldn’t hurt him, Doc wears gloves around Marty to help him feel safer during physical contact (which Doc likes to make a lot of). Doc wearing gloves also serves as an important cue for whether or not there’s going to be any time traveling or “energy-eating” about to happen. 

Marty isn’t going to outlive Doc. Interpret that how you will. I can’t imagine Doc dedicating his life towards his friendship with Marty, only to not be around for the rest of Marty’s life. 

Marty’s not actually being imprisoned in Doc’s estate. He is ~technically~ allowed to leave, but if anything goes wrong, Doc is not going to be happy that something bad happened to his best friend. 

Most ideas for this are about exploring the internal conflict Marty has. If he leaves and gets into something as little as a minor argument with someone, that person is going to suffer and Marty feel feel immensely guilty about it. There’s always potential danger to Hill Valley anytime he goes out. But on the other hand, if he remains inside, he’s going to be with Doc all the time. And Marty is so conflicted, because he’s terrified of Doc, but also knows he used to be friends with him in the past. 

There’s a lot that focuses on Marty’s mental state as time goes on. I haven’t been able to pick a direction on where to take it, but it’s not a fun time for him. 

Thanks for the ask! It was nice to re-visit my notes for this fic. 

[literaryspinster]

I’m on ch 3 of your limoreau fic and I’m struggling a bit with the decision to make Powerlad racist, why does every story about Black people have to involve racism as a plot device?

I don’t believe it does. I just made that specific choice because one of the big themes of that story (and The Boys itself) is toxic celebrity culture, and I wanted to convey that theme in a way that felt somewhat high stakes without getting into big conspiracy territory or putting Marie through what Starlight went through (or any other sort of physical violence).

A privileged celebrity having their problematic nature exposed, only for their fans and those in power to go out of their way to protect them, often at the expense of the less protected people in their orbit, is something I’ve witnessed online multiple times, and as a Black woman it’s exhausting to see. I can only imagine what that’s like for those more directly affected. That’s kind of what I wanted to explore with that plotline.

I also don’t think racism is a thing that just exists in media to make Black people feel like they can never escape it. It’s an actual part of our lives. I’ve been disrespected and hurt on account of my race, and while the fact that that’s happened doesn’t define me, or even figure into my day to day life as much as it once did, it is something I’ve felt the need to grapple with in various ways, including through writing. I also address queerphobia and sexism but racism is what I feel the most equipped to unpack because it’s what I’ve dealt with the most in my interactions with people (I’m a part of the queer community but quite straight-presenting, and am not a part of a profession or lifestyle that’s heavily associated with men or manliness, so sexism isn’t something I tend to feel on a visceral level).

Furthermore, I believe racism is one of the ‘isms that speculative fiction actually tends to be the shyest about. I’ve watched plenty of mainstream content where sexism is addressed repeatedly, meanwhile race is never commented on in any way in spite of the cast of characters being racially diverse (The Beauty and the Beast remake is the example that stands out the most to me). Or I’ve seen white women dealing with sexism and only Black men dealing with racism while the Black women in the story are just kind of there (i.e. Outlander, a show I could not finish in spite of all of the praise it received). Or some entirely fictional creature or concept is meant as the stand in for racism. I understand wanting to read about different things, but I do believe that there’s a middle ground between making our stories entirely about race and just pretending that it doesn’t exist.

All that being said. Fanfic is meant for escapism, I get that. I wasn’t trying to make anyone feel annoyed or let down or anything like that, I was just doing what I always do when I’m writing a fanfic that’s not a complete AU, playing in someone else’s sandbox with someone else’s toys. The Boys is all about satirizing topics like public bigotry (and yeah, it’s a Gen V fic but the point of it was to imagine them in The Seven so therefore on The Boys). I’m not always a fan of how they go about it, but I do appreciate its point of view a fair amount more than something like South Park, or even the show’s own source material. I doubt I would have stuck with it for three seasons if that wasn’t the case. So when writing for a show that frequently lampoons racists and other types of ridiculous people, the decisions made with Powerlad came pretty naturally. If I’d known I’d be disappointing people to this degree (you aren’t the first to comment on this) then I would have maybe gone in a different direction. To be honest the criticism has taken the wind out of my sails a bit.

In spite of everything, the rest of the story is planned out and partially written. Even though the fandom is understandably in a bad place right now, I hope the way everything plays out feels rewarding to people who choose to finish.

[meet-at-tycho]

sorryyy its late and i am filled with joy and whimsy. i love them so much, my sibling always gets annoyed with me cuz theyre all i talk about.. can you blame me? to have that vast boring nothingness shift into excitement and happiness and real true love? if you were me, youd talk about it too

its so funny cuz my life seems to move in cycles, familiar patterns that ive grown really sick of.. traumatizing and terrible, horrible bloody mess.... and then the most long drawn out boring slice of life youve ever witnessed. trauma! nothing! trauma! nothing! really tired of that.. i never thought that my nothing could be broken with joy, isnt that strange? for once, im not really hurting anymore. when i do hurt, i can handle it on my own and let go, and if its too much then i know im safe to express it

ive come such a long way, i dont tend to see myself positively, but.. its hard not to be proud. guys it turns out all you need to be happy is like. LOVE isnt that so corny isnt that so unbelievably predictable... APPARENTLY its true, i guess it feels different when yr actually experiencing it firsthand

im like on the verge of tears right now but. theres no sweeter joy than this, its so fucking BIZARRE. how did it happen this way? all the little bits and pieces that fell into place, delivered me angels and made me whole again.. cheesy, i know im being cheesy but i cant help it!! im sweet on them as often as i can be but theres still a lot of things i just.. dont have the strength to say directly. so i say them here, im sure only one of you will see this anyways. but i dont need either of you to see it, just speaking my feelings out into open air eases my mind a bit more

sometimes im like wow! theres no way this is healthy im . can i really experience true love? love that doesnt hurt? love thats REAL? as much as im tempted to deny it, im living it every day!!! i wake up and theyre both there to greet me, isnt that sweet? the first people i speak to when i wake up, the last people i say goodnight to when i go to sleep

i think i just need someone, i think im the kind of person that just.. ive been alone for a while, its OKAY its whatever, ive definitely grown used to it but. i thrive when im with them, its so? maybe all i need is someone else to keep me here.. ive got two!!!!!

maybe thats not clear enough

the way id get through that droning loneliness is escapism, nonstop daydreams and dissociation, i was barely here. only to eat and take care of my body a little bit, then its back to fantasy, because .. theres people who love me in my dreams! but.. im honestly finding it so hard to slip back into that habit now. its scary, because its whats kept me safe. hiding in fiction has kept me safe, kept me calm, happy.. but i cant shake it out of my head!!!! any time i try to fall back into those routines, the only thing i can think of is THEM.. like yeah this is great and all but.. i dont want to be trapped in my head anymore!!! theyre out there, i want to be out there..

if im honest? its terrifying. im forced to come to terms with ME as a person, who i am, something ive neglected to acknowledge for my entire life, but. im so completely wrapped up in my love for them that i hardly think about that!!!!! for once, it sorta almost feels like time is moving how it should be.. like every day that passes is different, every day that passes is SPECIAL. it hurts me to say this, but i think i love being alive? can you imagine that? how is it possible that two strangers could just.. fall into my life one day and before i even know it, im healing, im happy, im whole. MAKE ME SICKK its so foul. its almost pathetic!!! is that really all ive needed? this whole time, and i couldnt find ONE proper candidate throughout 20 years of life? its hard to really be upset about it, cuz.. ive got them now. thats all that matters

idk, i just. i think its really telling the kind of people they are, i know im only me, but.. for what its worth, theyve improved my life so drastically, i wouldve never thought id see myself happy like this. they do that for me, they do that and so much more. i love you 💞

[beesmygod]

what other genres of fiction would you like to create? like would you wanna make a high fantasy comic, full scifi comic, stuff like that

i have a couple of really dumb/fun low stakes stuff that's all comedy+another genre (crime, light sci-fi). but i also have been picking away mentally at a story abt a woman on trial for a heinous murder(s) and the events that lead to the development of the psychosis that takes over her life.

it took me 800 years to write this sentence bc reading something like that should trigger the "cringe edgy pivot from comedy to melodrama" alarm bells, but its one of those subjects thats been on my mind for about a year or so now as i become A Woman Of A Certain Age lol. i want to explore "how and why would a mother hurt their child(ren) in spite of the obvious societal repercussions" is a topic that really vexes me and the way my own diseased, addled brain tries to make sense of it is by creating a character.

but she has to make sense!!! it cant just be "oh she drinks baby blood bc she thinks it makes her live longer". no!!!! why does she hold this belief? how did this belief develop? where did it come from? what are the imagined mechanics of it? what is the "proof" that it works? how many times does she do it? how does she do it? what is the underlying lizard brain reason driving her? fear of dying? gratification? pity? i need to know the entire picture!!!!!

[daytaker]

Potential Weaponization of Anti-Ship Culture to Justify Personal Discomfort - An Essay

TW: mentions of shipping minors, censored use of words often used in the context of shipping minors by those who dislike it, some devil's advocation, a critical look at the motivations behind a multilayered and multifaceted movement that includes many people who are there for diverse reasons and whose disliked ships range from "literally there's nothing wrong with this" to "the most toxic and abusive thing imaginable" so please don't take this as me saying everyone's views within anti-culture are morally or ethically equivalent because they aren't, also simping over an anime man, but I'm not sorry for that because he's beautiful. And also potential kavetham slander but it isn't really slander because I never claim that there's actually anything wrong with the ship, but if seeing me say "i don't like that" might upset you maybe give this one a miss.

The reason I was thinking about this subject at all is because of this video essay, which I encourage you to watch if you're at all interested in this sort of thing:

Fandom Policing, Purity Culture and the Death of Media Literacy by E

(also i call this an essay in a tongue-in-cheek way but it's lowkey the length of an actual essay so strap in i guess.)

So I've been playing hella Genshin Impact again lately.

I want to marry Kaveh. I want him carnally. In fact, I'm going to go ahead and say that, actually, I am already married to Kaveh in every sense of the word besides legally. Additionally, I should probably mention that I'm probably the least polyamorous person alive. I simply could never share in a relationship. I would inevitably have a favorite and it would be an ugly mess. I mention this because it provides a bit of context as to why I feel so sad that my husband Kaveh is so ubiquitously shipped with whats-his-name, because I am deeply and intensely in love with him, so seeing him with another man hurts me on a very deep level, and I cannot nor do I want to engage in the mental gymnastics of an imaginary polycule.

So all that said, I was sitting alone, stewing over my dislike of this ship, and something occurred to me. Something disturbing. Because as much as I don't ship this particular thing, there's nothing wrong with the ship. The characters are adults, they're not related, there's no abuse, they just canonically act as if they don't like each other while having a more complicated relationship. You know the type. They're very popular. I've never liked ships between characters that don't get along in canon, so even if I wasn't madly in love with Kaveh, I don't think I'd be a fan of this particular ship. What I'm getting at is this:

What if I gave into my darker impulses and acted like the worst of the antis? I could come up with some rationale for why this extremely popular ship is actually extremely toxic and validate my own discomfort over seeing my lawfully wedded husband getting dicked down by some dude. I could say, "Financial abuse! Kaveh could never be in a consensual relationship with a man who could literally make him homeless on a whim!" I could say "My precious baby is being manipulated by a man who is in a position of power over him due to my baby's decision to value his art over all else and hurling himself into bankruptcy like a moron!"

Then I could declare that the ship is toxic; therefore those who ship it are toxic; therefore those who warn about its toxicity are protecting others from toxic influences. I am morally good. I am protecting the internet from nastiness.

Of course that would be very silly and extremely manipulative of me, because there's nothing inherently wrong with shipping two adults from a piece of fictional media, even when their dynamic is a lot more dubious than the one between these two.

But this brings me back to what I was thinking about before... That is to say, my deep, gut discomfort with the ship for entirely personal reasons. A lot of people, myself included, seem to feel like we need to have logical reasons behind our likes and dislikes. It's not enough just to feel a certain way. We need to be able to defend our views against nay-sayers. This is particularly true when you dislike something, because when you go out into a crowd (the internet) and start broadcasting that you don't like something, it's seen as a little inflammatory.

And with good reason! If I didn't think of all this stuff I wanna talk about, I would have kept my thoughts on this ship completely to myself, because my negativity really couldn't do anything but antagonize people who do like the ship.

I wonder to what extent our culture of extremism has bled into our media consumption even on such an unimportant level as shipping. If I find out someone I know votes Republican, that will change my entire perspective on them. But sometimes we take something like that and translate it to stuff that's a lot less important. Like, "If I find out someone ships two teenagers, that will change my entire perspective on them." (I'm not here to get into the ethics of shipping minors, but I'm willing to stick my neck out enough to say that the above example wouldn't be something I'd be horrified to discover about a friend or acquaintance. A lot of media stars teenage characters, it's just the reality of what we consume, and when people consume media, people ship the characters, it just happens.)

But what if you didn't actually care that they were teenagers, in your heart of hearts? What if you just...didn't like the ship, because you shipped one of them with somebody else, or you headcanon that one of them is gay, or straight, or ace, or whatever? But you're sick of seeing this stupid ship everywhere, and has anyone even considered the fact that these characters are minors? In a sense, by shipping them, you're s*xualizing minors. So in a sense, anyone who likes this ship is okay with s*xualizing minors. So in a sense, anyone who likes this ship is okay with p*dophelia. So in a sense, anyone who likes this ship is a p*dophile. And now, you can hate that ship openly and rather than being an asshole who's ruining people's day, you're a crusader for morality.

You are morally good. You are protecting the internet from nastiness.

Okay, now for my disclaimers, because I'm a fearful netizen!

Now I want to be very clear and say that I'm NOT suggesting that this is secretly the reason why anyone hates any ship. Plenty of ships are nasty for all sorts of reasons. Though I would encourage readers to consider whether that nastiness is grounds for a call-out rather than simply blacklisting it.

Also, some people have strong negative reactions to ships that might seem unproblematic or at least not that awful for reasons that aren't just "it goes against my headcanon" or "I'm lawfully married to Kaveh how dare you". Some people might see real life trauma reflected in ship dynamics that aren't inherently "gross" to other people.

Basically, I want to acknowledge that this is a specific look at a specific subsection of shipping purity culture, and I'm not claiming to examine every potentiality of the issue with complete nuance. But I do want to assert that this is a nuanced issue, and encourage people to discuss it with each other in good faith, not assuming that the other party is intentionally ignoring a perspective or trying to harm or silence another group.

[backhurtyy]

🗣 heyyyy bestie <333

🗣️Talk about your favourite WIP

my favorite wip is, of course, my beloved my beloathed my best friend my worst enemy my silly rabbit my sweet cheese... shattered edges glistening. think of this fic as a love letter to reki, a vent about chronic pain, an ode to people who never feel like they're enough just the way they are, a (most likely) 35k+ epic about learning how to accept help, and a shit load of projection onto fictional characters. it's got everything; matchablossom, renga, shadoka, oka being the best person in the entire world, reki bonding with each person individually, ptsd, adam slander, hurt/comfort, first kisses, reki being an unreliable narrator, the sk8 fam showering reki in love, and so many medical inaccuracies!

i just love this fic so much because of like. what it means to me, but also because it's really pushed me to become a better writer and to try and figure out how to put something like chronic pain into words. i definitely think its a very emotional story, and hopefully people feel the same once it's done and published, whenever that may be. for now, it's sitting comfy at 27k words, with a few more scenes to go. so hopefully sometime soon. i would love to not spend two years working on this thing lmao... anyways have a snippet, because ily <3

There was another quiet rustle and Reki could almost imagine Langa, laying on his side with his blankets pulled up to his chin and his phone trapped between his pillow and his face. “So, do you want me to talk, or you can, or we can just sit in silence…”

Reki was quiet for a moment as he thought, listening to the way Langa’s quiet breathing fit in between his own so that there was never a silent second between them, and the knot loosened further. His lips twitched ever so slightly. “I think I just want to sit here quietly with you, if that’s alright?”

“Of course,” Langa said. “Whatever you need.”

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

reading yaoi for the plot

recently i seemingly entirely stopped my life for a week to read the visual novel Slow Damage.

i dont really play vn’s (reading in front of my pc is HARD) nor do i read that much boys love (i am a bit of a gayboy by nature, so im not opposed to it) so what drove me to absolutely devour this one.....i honestly dont know. i would never have bought it for myself but my bestie gave it to me. so here we are.

slow damage is a game that you Could play. maybe should and maybe shouldnt. its sad and since it deals with self harm, suicidal thoughts, violence, sexual violence and rape, child abuse and just about every other bad thing you can imagine.......... man that shit can be depressing as hell. and since its a eroge, they are out there sexualizing shit they really SHOULDNT.

AND I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!! all those “fiction doesnt affect reality” talk some people do is bs in my opinion. yes, you probably wouldnt hurt people irl bc youre reading this rape scene. but YES, bad porn will still condition your brain negatively in the long run.

anyhow. slow damage is pretty damn self-aware. dont get me wrong man, i love the game so much. and yet, and yet.

its so deeply important to me how the game really pictures.... unconditional love between friends and multiple different endgames that finish the story Well for the protag. he can attain salvation and peace. whether it means never touching the wounds of his past or confronting it headfirst. either way he can go through the worst of the worst and end up better. or worse. its all so fickle but thats the good part right. mental health is very sensitive and as a chronically sick person, he is so so vulnerable. (not madarame. fuck everything to do with him. i think theres a storytelling and character study merit to his ends as well but this paragraph wasnt about them)

ive been thinking about talking about it but theres probably people who have. better more informed takes than i do. here are my 2 cents anyway

id love to talk about the ludonarrative dissonance that is a yaoi game with rape scenes taking a stance against rape

im also really intrigued by the setting; a very desensitized city with desensitized people, which we are supposed to see as sad, yet a lot of scenes are there for shock value

CAN WE TALK ABOUT GENDER. WHY IS SLOW DAMAGE SO FILLED WITH GENDER. ITS EVEN GOOD WITH GENDER. I LOVE THE AMOUNT OF GENDER IDENTITY TALK!!!!! WE LOVE TO SEE CIS PEOPLE TALK ABOUT GENDER. WE LOVE NORMALIZED DYSPHORIA TALK. BUT ALSO I LOVE HOW SENSITIVE THE TRANSLATION WAS ABOUT ITS TRANSFEM/GNC CHARACTERS

the fact that the game has an Entire big arc about gaslighting and an abusive relationship, that makes the protag really really internalize selfhate and doubt and makes that mindset smth that he wears like a protective “its just us two against the world” shield. its so sad yet so close to life

the protag, though horribly abused and traumatized, has the advantage of having a very functional very very loving support system in the form of his two best friends, one of which happens to be a doctor. can you imagine how much worse this could be. im constantly aware of it

thinking a lot about how much class plays a role in the last route and towa and fujieda only start to get along once their perceived differences are lifted, in fact them being “the same” is of fundamental importance - but also undermines how unbridgable their differences would have been otherwise

deeply in love with the fact fujieda, as someone who studied law and has been dealing with courts professionally, is this huge vigilante. bc he doesnt trust justice to happen unless he does it himself. and towa is important to him, but ultimately his own goals are just a bit more important than towas comfort. i love when characters have spines <3

on a related note, i also love when characters dont have spines. taku is literally my fav. the fact hes a human sanctuary contrasts so beautifully with him withholding vital info, constantly telling white lies, being conflicted about Everything, but eventually going to jail bc he thinks he Deserves it

how and why is eiji a metal gear solid character stuck in a pokemon characters body

[asexy-phoenix]

Even More Fic Recs

We’re still doing it, folks! All of these are single works, and if you’re curious there is a fic recs post coming that is all series, no single fics. So be on the lookout for that if you’re curious. Long post, fics under the cut

i missed me more by AslansCompass

a Percy Jackson and the Olympians fic about an aro/ace child of Aphrodite. Because if living in a world where an actual love goddess exists is hard when you’re aro/ace, imagine being the daughter of that goddess.

this fic IS part of a series that I will recommend later - for now this is the only work i have bookmarked

when the sun came up, I was looking at you by suzukiblu

did you ever want a hilariously funny miscommunication story that is also set in space and is full of Poe/Finn/Rey? If you did, this is the one for you! The premise is that, since food is so rare on Jakku, proposing involves people giving each other food as a gift. Rey arrives in the resistance and hilarious miscommunications ensue

Trade by SassySnowperson

hurt/comfort? Tatooine worldbuilding? A canon divergence where someone takes care of Obi-Wan and gives him the attention and love he deserves? That someone being the combined forces of Owen Lars and Beru Whitesun? THIS ONE HAS IT ALL

Mischief is its Own Reward by dalniente

this is probably the best Megamind fic I’ve ever read. A fake dating story where Roxanne brings Megamind with her for the holidays combined with copious amounts of fluff, pining, getting together, and open, honest communication! So good! My fave! Best fic!

Stranger Than Fiction by cereal

did you finish Broadchurch wanting Alec and Ellie to get together and be a cute, slightly oblivious couple? Read this, it’s awesome

richochet by PaintedVanilla

this is just...an excellently in-character fic where Alec is forced to confront his feelings when he and Ellie end up on a date together. Plus there’s sweet family banter between Alec and Daisy and just go read this one it’s great

A Quiet Night At Home by nightrose

A ‘Sherlock comes back after Reichenbach’ story where it’s calm and fluffy and soft in all the right ways. The best post-Reichenbach story out there, it did for John and Sherlock what an entire tv show couldn’t - gave them a happy ending. And it did it all in less than 700 words

To See a Soul by slothemperess

a double whammy soulmate au and wingfic! This story lived rent-free in my head whenever I thought about Jarida from the time I first read it on FFnet until I was finally able to track it down and bookmark it on Ao3 so, you know...it’s awesome and you should give it a read

Having It Sorted by AlabasterInk

a Harry Potter crossover where the Sorting Hat becomes friend and confidante to a group of immortal spirits. You guessed it, it’s an RoTBTD fic and it’s brilliant!

you are a paradigm by 1electricpirate

the first and so far only Potterlock story I’ve ever read, this one is excellent and makes me happy in all the right ways. And I’m not the only one, judging by the amount of collections this story has been added to

Intervention by Asidian

ugh, this one hits me in the feels. A post-Avengers story where Thor finds out that Loki’s punishment by Odin was far worse than he could have imagined and goes to Tony to ask for help. Full of hurt/comfort and family bonds, this fic singlehandedly reversed my expectations of Thor in the fic I write

 It is gory so beware, but not at the expense of the story

To Be Modified As Necessary by ignipes

did you ever wonder what the ten rules the Avengers needed to live together peacefully were? Find out in this excellent story!

Regulus Black and the Way Things Changed: A Not!Fic by imaginary_golux

like the title says, this isn’t really a fic. What this is, is a series of bullet points re-telling the entire Harry Potter saga from the ground up with the premise that Regulus Black becomes the turncoat that Dumbledore takes in. It’s absolutely not canon-compliant but that doesn’t matter because it’s funny enough to make me die laughing

Harry Potter and the Lack of Lamb Sauce by imagitory

it begins as a story based off the premise that instead of Slughorn, Gordon Ramsey is hired to be Harry’s potion teacher in his sixth year. It ends as a complex re-telling of the sixth and seventh books from the perspectives of several different witches and wizards all caught up in a war that is spinning them out of control. Seriously brilliant, you should read it. Even though it’s 99 chapters long

wonderterror by peradi

the Skywalkers, being descended from the Force, are not entirely human. A fic in three parts exploring that concept. Full of eldritch horrors and Skywalker drama, I wish this story was canon

How Far the Stars Fall, How Bright They Burn by Jahaliel, Ms_NothingSpecial

I’ll admit, I’m not that well-versed in the Clone Wars lore, but that almost doesn’t matter because the lyrical writing and amazing premise of this story makes up for that in spades. This is an AU where Order 66 doesn’t go as planned thanks to Force intervention and that’s just the tip of the iceberg

Feathers by SolarMorrigan

a character study of an autistic Newt Scamander and how he functions in a world that feels like it is designed to overwhelm him. I feel seen by this story, go check it out

Severus Snape and the Midnight Tea by inmyownlittlecorner

what is it like teaching potions to Luna Lovegood? And will she teach Severus something in return? A beautiful story about Severus and Luna in the oddest of friendships.

Let’s Do the Same as They by halotolerant

a Captain America story where Bucky, Peggy, and Steve run into another trio who has a similar relationship to theirs. A crossover between Captain America and Singing in the Rain doesn’t feel like it should work, but it definitely does and leaves me wanting more.

Mandala by Roberly

another soulmate au, this one a Sherlock story where soulmates find each other by coloured swirls that form matching unique mandalas on each others arms. Lots of worldbuilding and an ending that made me laugh out loud!

A Cloak of Moonlight by Gehayi

an evocative, richly-told story that takes the story of the 12 Dancing Princesses and expands into a world with lore and backstory. This story also fleshes out the princesses a bit more and makes their story more sympathetic and tragic and...oh just go read it. I can’t do it justice

How These Days Grow Long by Never_Says_Die

I read this story once, years ago, and I never forgot it. It’s a Walking Dead AU where Daryl and Glenn were dating before the apocalypse and got separated at the start of it. It’s a journey of a story that makes me feel so many things, especially Daryl and Glenn emotions. I had never thought of shipping these two but by the end of this fic I was convinced of their relationship

Ryan Bergara and the WTF Patronthingy by raven_aorla

to round off this list, yet another Harry Potter AU! This one is a crossover with Buzzfeed: Unsolved with lots of friendship and hurt/comfort included!