#its crack ok

[fukcnoplease]

Things always go wrong

Pt2 Pt3 Pt4 Pt5

Danny paced the halls of pariah dark’s castle, well his castle but even after a few years he wasn't used to that, as Frostbite watched in silence. His king isn't usually this restless before a council meeting but his distress was understandable. As his eighteenth birthday approached the council was getting more and more pushy for Danny to take up his role as king. Frostbite had used his leeway to allow the young king time to grow up and in the four years since his first transformation he had only been called to council a handful of times. It was an impressive feat less because they needed a king and more because the observers were anxious to keep the young king on a leash. 

This council meeting was called hastily as the anti-ecto laws had been passed recently and the GIW as well as the Fenton parents had become bolder in their pursuit of ghosts. The Fentons had almost captured one of Danny's rogues and it was too close of a call for the council to overlook. 

On top of that Dani was supposed to be coming home today. The young clone had taken to traveling the world as soon as she was free to. Her unstable nature had forced her home only a month after departing and it had taken months to convince Danny to let her go off alone again. Her destabilization had been easy to explain, as a clone she had been created without a ghost core and with continual use of her powers and no way to replenish her energy she had used her own body's ectoplasm to feed her powers. Frostbite was unsure if she would ever form her own core as her creation was unique but Danny had pushed. The idea Danny had come up with was to take a piece of his own core and give it to Dani, maybe jump-starting her own core cultivation in the process.

After defeating pariah dark Danny had begun absorbing his core, a way of proving his claim to the throne Frostbite had explained, and with it his own core had almost doubled in power. While unstable itself as it was still settling into its new power, it was possible to take a sliver and still keep the core at a healthy level. If Danny pushed for a bigger piece than strictly necessary, well no one but Frostbite would ever know that.

The council had rioted at another ghost having a piece of the king's core, it was usual for families to share cores in times of need but a king having a royal family was unheard of. Some of the council was against it all together and some were quick to try and coronate Dani a princess. Danny did his best to shield her from the council and made her promise to visit at least once every few months and call weekly. It had been a battle but Dani had accepted conditions as well as a phone Tucker had made for her. Then she was off, traveling the world and bringing back souvenirs and stories. 

A couple years had passed like that and they had finally settled into a comfortable rhythm. A rhythm rudely interrupted by Danny’s looming birthday and his parents lack of self control. He was supposed to be at Sam’s house, ready to hug Dani when she arrived and with a whole day of movie marathons and nachos planned. Instead he was stuck pacing his entrance hall as Sam kept him updated on the happenings in the living realm. 

“Your majesty,” Frostbite rumbled, “perhaps it is time you enter the council’s chamber. An intermission can only last so long.”

The monarch hummed but didnt stop pacing. Every turn caused his layered cape to billow behind him in a strange way, as if it was floating underwater rather than being manipulated by wind. The king's crown had dulled from a fiery bonfire into a thin misty glow that wrapped in a circle over his head. Jazz would tease him for it, ‘It looks like the aurora borealis, your love of the sky bleeds into everything doesn't it?’ and she was right, though he would never admit it. Even as he combed his hand through his hair and the crown, the misty fire dissipating around his hand before gathering again, it still twinkled as if far away stars were shining in the crowns light. 

Danny spared little thought to his regalia as he paced. A wave of dread had come over him midway through the arguing and he had called a pause so they could recollect themselves. He had tried to check in with Sam but she wasn't responding. He had heard nothing from Dani either and something deep within him was screaming something was wrong. He couldn't abandon a council meeting on a hunch and honestly it was one of the few times he didn't want to have to abandon the council meeting. If only because it would mean nothing was wrong.

Dani had had some close calls over the years and while she had really come into her powers she wasn't as strong as Danny and the one time she had been hit by Maddie Fenton still held fresh in Danny’s mind.

His phone buzzed.

Sam had replied.

Eco-Terrorist: We cant find Dani

It was the only message Danny needed before he was off. Ripping a hole in the dimension himself as he crossed back to his preferred plane. He barely noticed Frostbites thoughtful hum as he moved to bring the news of the king's departure to the council.

The precious seconds Danny took to arrive at Sam’s house were spent spiraling as to all the worst things that could have happened. The fear doubled as he stepped through Sam’s wall to find her holding Dani’s phone and pacing herself. Tucker sat at the desk scouring what looked like security cameras on his laptop as Danny popped back into view.

If Sam yelped it was only because she was too stressed to try and cover it up.

“We found her phone in Amity Park, she hadn't been responding and it had been almost an hour since she was supposed to show up.” Sam stressed, she was flexing her hands around the phone. 

“Since she usually messages us if she is going to be late we decided to check if everything was alright. When we saw she was in the park and hadnt move in a while. We left immediately.” Tucker added. He had a wobble to his voice and a shine to his eyes. Danny gritted his teeth. “All we found was this.” Sam said as she threw Dani’s phone on the bed as if it had personally been the thing to commit the crime and went back to pacing, flexing her hands in and out of fists.

“Do we have any security footage that might help?” Danny asked. 

“Ive been looking but the park doesnt have much cctv except around the perimeter or playground. Its been useless. All Ive seen is the Fenton-mobile.” Tucker paused, Danny could hear him swallow as the same thought passed through all their heads. “You… you dont think…” 

“Ill go check the lab.” Danny said before he vanished. Already making his way through town as Sam and Tucker raced to follow him. 

It didnt take long for Danny to make it to his house, the ghost shields were down but the Fenton-mobile was nowhere to be seen. It gave Danny little hope but he made his way down to the basement, transforming into his human form just in case. He made his way through his kitchen and down the stairs where he looked into the lab and into his worst fear.

Dani lay still on a metal table, restraints on her arms and legs and waist as a trickle of ectoplasm dripped from her left arm onto the floor. She wasnt even in her ghost form. He jumped the stairs and made it to her in two strides. 

“Dani? Can you hear me?” Her head was lolled to the side but her eyes were open, if only barely. She blinked and squirmed slightly, making a grumbling sound before going still again. She was alive, likely drugged, definitely bleeding out. Her arm had a gash in it and two tubes attached to needles lay on the floor beside her. The tubes were tangled and thrown about, as if someone had tripped on them and then let them be. Rage bubbled within Danny but he forced himself to focus. He would not let Dani bleed out because he was too busy seething at his parents. He grabbed whatever he could use as medical supplies and wrapped Dani’s arm before trying to break her restraint.

Electricity coursed through him and he cursed. Refusing to let panic take over he turned to his parents computer instead. There had to be something that could undo the restraints and regardless he had to wipe whatever information they had on Dani. What he found was a conversation log of Maddie Fenton and an Agent W discussing payment and proper handover specifications for a ‘perfect specimen’ Maddie had found. The money was staggering and Danny’s rage almost made him crush the mouse he was holding. 

At one point, Sam had offered up the idea of destroying the lab and joining Jazz at Gotham U where she had chosen to go for college. They had toyed with the idea, saying it was for the future or it was a last resort, but ultimately never gone through with it. It was a bad idea to drag a meta equivalent to Gotham and in all honesty, Danny wasnt comfortable leaving Amity. He hated leaving the town limits even if necessary, he couldnt imagine choosing to live somewhere else. But right now, staring at his bleary, injured, unstable sister, he decided he would have to. 

His rogues would be pissed and he didnt really have a solid plan but he refused to let this happen again. To anyone.

It was little hassle to find the unlock to the restraints and erase the computer completely. His parents didn't trust the cloud and the physical copies they had would be lost in the fire. Tucker had copies of everything anyway. Dani moved to sit up but really only managed to roll off the table. Danny caught and he shared some of his ectoplasm to try and help her heal. It wasnt much but she started to regain lucidity.

“Danny?” she whispered and Danny hummed in response. Their cores hummed at each other, the harmony encouraging her healing. A boom rattled the building, it was far away but it snapped Danny back to the present. They didnt have time to sit there, he didnt know when his parents would be back and he needed to leave. 

He laid Dani on the floor as he went around and dismantled as many things as he could, leaving the vulnerable pieces in the open. Finally he turned to take the ectoplasm filter that powered the entire house. When he ripped it off its mantle alarms started blaring and he turned and grabbed Dani, hauling her up into his arms as he ran up the stairs. He heard her giggle something about bumpy rides and he was out the door and barrelling towards his beat up car parked across the street. 

Jazz had given it to him for his sixteenth birthday. Apparently she had originally planned to buy it for herself for her move to Gotham but Sam had managed to convince her parents to buy Jazz a brand new car. Something about the public transportation system being dangerous and it being the first thing Sam had asked for that had been manageable. It was beat up and an old red but Danny loved the car and used it often. He worried he would have had to keep his parents away from it, in case they try and ghost proof it but they never even noticed it. He parked it across the street and they just assumed it was the neighbors. No one had lived in the houses around them for years.

He shoved Dani into the passenger side before hoping the hood and sliding into the drivers seat. He didnt know he could do that.

Shoving his key into the ignition the engine roared to life. He managed to get down the street before his house exploded. The shockwave sent the car forward and he managed to catch Dani’s head before it met the dash. His windows rattled but none of them broke, a small victory he thought. 

His mind flashed to all the things he had had in his room, his home. His memories, his souvenirs from Dani, all his space and nasa memorabilia, all his clothes and any pictures he thought were important. His family, his friends, his school, his only solid portal to the Infinite Realm. 

His emergency supplies.

“Fuck.” he whispered as he kept driving. Dani giggled and said something like ‘language’ but Danny was too busy swerving through traffic to hear her. His phone buzzed and he jolted, he maneuvered to pull it from his pocket as he tried to check it only to barely miss an oncoming car and drop it into the footwell of Dani’s seat. He cursed again and kept driving. He wasnt going to stop until he was well and out of Amity. He focused on driving and harmonizing with Dani as he drove. 

As they raced across Amity his core began to pulse with panic. The lingering pain from losing his home exploding into waves of fear.

He wasnt stopping. The pulsing grew more intense and Dani whimpered in her sleep. He tried to calm down but something felt so intrinsically wrong with leaving and his core felt like it was going to burst.

The pressure grew as they got closer and closer to Amity’s border and as they crossed it something in Danny popped. 

He almost blacked out from the pain. The car swerving as he tried to regain control of himself. Something had broken and it felt like he was tilted on an axis. He could barely see and was forced to pull over. His breathes came in short painful gasps and he bit back a scream. He was trying to ride through the pain when his phone rang. Grasping for it he picked up and brought it to his ear.

“Danny? We saw the explosion, are you ok? Did you find Dani?” Sam said, crackling over the phone.

“Mhm. Dani is with me. We are going to Gotham.” Pain cracked his voice as he struggled to breathe. “ ‘s not safe. Need Jazz.” Was all he could manage before he was heaving.

“Danny! Stay where you are. We have ectoshots with us and we can-” Sam was cut off by an explosion behind Danny’s car. He whipped around to see a white van crashing through traffic. Danny slammed his foot on the gas and turned back to the road. The pain in his chest dulled as his desperation to protect Dani slammed back in full force. 

“Meet. In. Gotham.” Was all he could growl before he hung up the phone and drove in what he hoped was the direction north east. 

~~

currently obsessing over dpxdc shenanigans

I just love seeing danny act like a cornered animal

[gunsatthaphan]

so anyway happy 2 yr anniversary to the most iconic moment in the som fandom, one that I still think about very frequently. ✨🫶🏻💅🏻

[starrysharks]

hotel manager

[sharksandjays]

I NEED some sort of cutscene where Lloyd is talking about how he doesn't know how Master Wu kept the Monastary clean and everything stable and fine and then it just cuts to this scene from season one

[buzzingroyalty]

going thru my undertale folder found this redraw i never finished properly and slapped some csp shading assist on it

[animangalover-writes]

I got bored.

For those occasions when the straights can't fathom why you ship The Gays™

[vanityangel]

Solo's smug smirk at Roman versus the immediate drop in expression and quick head turn when he glances towards Jey

[hannahbarberra162]

Heat Transfer, Chapter 4 (Platonic Yandere WBP x Sea Naga)

On Ao3

<3 Thank you to @gouraminnow for Beta-ing this and all my thoughts <3

All the other chapters

Baby's first swear :3

Your POV

You watched Ace’s fire hand wide eyed and curious. He was made of fire , that’s why he was so warm, that’s why he could heat rooms so easily, that’s why you were drawn to him. Your sisters had told you some humans were special but not that they could be made of fire. You watched as Ace heated the food and popped the eye in his mouth, crunching it between his embarrassingly flat teeth. You weren’t sure when he became fire and he became flesh, but you were interested.

“ ‘S good,” he said in a happy tone, extinguishing the fire and curling his fingers into his palm and extending only his thumb upwards. You hesitantly brought your forefinger to touch his thumb, trying to determine the trigger for when he turned into fire. When his thumb didn’t ignite, you took his hand and uncurled his fingers gently, rubbing his hand with the pads of your finger. Ace watched you calmly, letting you take his larger hand in your own webbed one. Scraping at his palm gently with a claw so as not to harm him, he seemed to be made of normal human flesh once again. 

“H-hey, that tickles,” he said, yanking his hand away from you. Did you make him annoyed? You wished you could communicate with him easily but you appreciated that he was speaking to you so much, you were hoping to learn human quickly. You clawed another eye out of the fish, extending it to him. You wanted him to make the fire again, maybe he could only summon it for food? He looked at you with his brows drawn slightly and his head tilted, but shrugged and turned his hand to fire once more. You watched intently, looking above and below his wrist for the billowing flames to engulf him. Reaching out, you grasped his forearm below the flame - it was perfectly fine, uncharred and surprisingly not overly warm. Curious. How much of his body could he make into flame?

“Oh, that’s what you want? Heh. Watch this,” Ace said to you as he chewed the second eye. You hoped he appreciated it, those were your favorite parts of the fish. You were taken aback as Ace’s lower half turned to flames, propelling the small boat towards the larger one at a rapid pace. It felt like when your sisters let you hold on to their hair when they swam - freedom coming as fast as you could take it. You laughed out loud with your mouth wide open, something your sisters told you was entirely from your human half, winding your tail around the pole in the middle of the boat. You threw your arms in the air, feeling your hair whip around your face. Pushing yourself higher on your tail, you closed your eyes and enjoyed the rush that came with moving so quickly as Ace maneuvered the boat towards the larger ship. Looking at it, you realized the front looked like a happy whale, which you found charming. Maybe the Captain could turn into a whale like Ace could turn into fire? It would explain his larger size and maybe he could swim with you in the sea.

It was already night when Ace brought you back to the ship, the smell of food wafting through the air. You wanted to show that you were capable and a worthy fighter so you quickly dove into the water to retrieve a fish for Meatman to cook. Maybe he’d be impressed with your kill - or better yet - cook it for you to eat. Biting a rather large Bananafish that was lingering near the side of the ship, you hauled it up the rope ladder, looped in your tail as Ace moored his boat to the larger one. As your toxin spread the fish stopped wiggling though you knew it was still alive, keeping it perfectly fresh, how humans liked. 

Reaching the top deck, you slithered towards the food that was being laid on the large tables. The Meatman would likely be near if he was the one preparing the food. You stabbed the fish through with your talons in order to slither better. Finding the unique head adornment of Meatman, you came closer to him. He was clearly in the middle of preparing the great feast but you wanted to give him your present while it was alive. You scrunched your face trying to remember what greeting the humans usually gave one another besides ‘hi,’ you’d heard it before….

“Oi!” you settled on, throwing the fish at his feet. Though surprised at your presence, Meatman quickly bared his teeth at you in happiness. Almost too happily, you thought with suspicion. You’d keep your distance, this one was more devious than he let on. But..you had bitten him twice and he didn’t even seem upset about it, so maybe he was just…like that.

“Baby! Oh my seas, you brought me a fish! Thank you, oh - it’s…still alive….but not moving…how very thoughtful! ” the cook said to you, taking the fish in hand. He bowed his head, showing his appreciation. It was a universal gesture, your sisters bowing their heads slightly when you’d help them in some kind of way, like removing debris from their hair.

It was a pleasant night though a bit chilly, you thought as you glanced around for some warmth. Spotting Fossa, you headed over to him, winding your body around his torso underneath his vest since Ace still wasn’t on the deck. He had a smoke stick lit in his mouth, the putrid smoke billowing as he spoke to another human.

“ Oi, Baby. Warn me next time, yer fuckin’ freezin’,” Fossa grumbled as he adjusted you closer to his body. You inspected the pocket that had held the biscuits but the two of you had drained it earlier, there were no sweets there. Grumbling, you flicked your tail as Fossa continued to talk to another human while everyone waited for dinner. This one dressed differently, his robes as smooth as his long black hair. He had paint on his face, something novel for you. Apparently your sisters had glossed over a lot in your discussions about humans. He was glancing at you curiously, like you were a puzzle to be solved. 

“Bring her here,” the painted man said, taking a small comb out of his hair. Fossa grunted and moved you around so you were facing the new man. 

“ “S like moving a wet noodle,” Fossa growled, supporting your tail carefully on his forearm.

 “Izou,” the painted man said, pointing at himself. 

“Baby,” you said, pointing at your own chest. The painted man took the comb and ran it through his hair, the black strands parting with ease. He handed it to you, obviously expecting you to do the same. Maela had given you a mother-of-pearl comb when you were a child that you used to comb your hair but it had broken many years prior. Since then you’d just used your fingers when you felt that your hair was getting too matted, but it had always been low on your priority list. You tried to run the comb through your blonde hair like Izou had, but it got stuck quickly. You shrugged and tried to hand it back to him. He didn’t accept the comb, instead curling your fingers around it to show you it was yours now. You weren’t sure if he was insulting you and telling you how unkempt you were or if he was being kind and gifting you with something. You stuck it into your hair, where it was held in place by your mats, like an adornment.

“One day I’ll work those out for you,” Izou said, reaching for your head. If he patted your head like Ace did all the time, you were going to…well, not bite. You’d learned your lesson and you’d do nearly anything to avoid the muzzle again. Speaking of Ace, he was approaching you with a wistful glance at the nearly ready food on the table. 

“Baby, are you bothering Fossa?” Ace asked you, noting the comb in your hair as Izou picked up pieces of your hair for his inspection. 

“ ‘S not bothering,” Fossa said dismissively as you unwound from his body. Fossa was warm, sure, but nothing like Ace. You quickly wound yourself around his much smaller but much hotter body, pressing your face into the warmth of his shoulder and looping your arms around his neck. Sighing contentedly, you waited for Ace to walk towards the food now that other humans were sitting down at the table. 

“Should get you some clothes, huh?” Ace asked in a tone that suggested a question. You weren’t sure what he was asking but he’d show you soon enough. Ace found a chair large enough for the two of you to sit together and sat down to begin the meal.

Ace POV

Well, it turned out Sea Naga couldn’t hold their alcohol. Or maybe just Baby couldn’t. Either way, Baby was largely out of commission. The night had started innocently enough, with Pops giving a short speech welcoming Baby to the ship. Someone had put a large mug of ale in her hand which she’d sniffed apprehensively then drank as she saw the rest of the crew tipping their cups back when Pops finished speaking. Smacking her lips, Baby evidently enjoyed the taste and greedily gulped down the rest of the brew. She pushed her empty cup into Ace’s side repeatedly as he ate.

“Ace,” Baby said, ramming his ribs with the mug.

“ Ow, No,” Ace said with his mouth full of food. He wasn’t sure but it probably wasn’t a good idea to give Baby too much to drink.  Baby hissed her displeasure, crossing her arms. She’d eaten a few plates of meat but between that and the fish she’d eaten on Strike she seemed more interested in drinking.

“Aw, c’mon, let her live a little,” argued Thatch, who set another metal platter of meat in front of Ace. Ace picked his teeth with his fingernail as Baby bashed him again with her cup.

“Fine, she can have a little more. That’s it, I don’t -” Ace began as Thatch picked up a pitcher to fill Baby’s cup. She beamed at him in a wide toothy grin and snatched the pitcher from the chef, letting the cup topple to the floor. Ace watched her unhinge her jaw to drink more efficiently, allowing the pitcher to drop like the cup had previously once the container was drained. Ace was still jamming meat into his mouth but about to reprimand Baby for her foolishness when  Ace felt himself falling asleep. He set his arms on the table like Marco had shown him to do and laid his head down. The last thing he remembered seeing was Baby poking his cheek, a soft hiss escaping her worried face.

Ace awoke some time later with a wool blanket draped over his shoulders, as he always did after a fit of narcolepsy on the ship. Blinking his eyes open, he shoved the food from his plate into his mouth reflexively, almost unaware he was eating. No one else was still dining, most were either drinking and talking in small groups or had moved to the main deck for the same activity. He heard a commotion from over on the main deck and meandered over to see what was happening. There was a ring of crew encircling some fight - Ace could tell it was friendly from the lack of jeers and blood spatters on the floor. As one of the shortest members on board, Ace had to push his way to the front to see who was fighting. He often participated himself, enjoying the challenge of wrestling without his Devil Fruit abilities.

“GIT ‘ER BORS!” yelled out Curiel as Ace saw Baby in the middle of the ring, wrestling with the aforementioned Bors. She had a loop of her tail around Bors' ankle as he loomed over her with a bow staff. Ace was infuriated and was about to intervene when Baby’s tail wrapped all the way around the significantly larger man's torso in one fluid movement, trapping his arms under her tail. She grabbed the staff from the man’s hand like she was taking it from a child and threw it skittering across the deck.

“Fuckin’ can’t! She’s godfuckingdamnit so slippery and…tails stronger than ow whatthefuck it looks,” yelled back the crewman from the 10th division as he started turning red in the face. Baby smiled as she wound her tail tighter and tighter, constricting his breathing until the man was turning blue. 

“I’m not healing you if she cracks your ribs!” Marco yelled from his perch near Pops. Marco often didn't heal those who willingly fought each other using his Devil Fruit, saying it was their due for engaging in foolishness. 

Baby had her torso on the ground and was tapping her claws against the deck in a show of boredom as Bors tapped his hand against her to tap out. As soon as he conceded, Baby immediately unwound herself and Bors landed hard on hands and knees, heaving in rough breaths. Baby whooped and cheered for her victory along with the assembled crew.

“Winner! Unbeaten so far, who can take on the mighty Baby? Tenth division is out, eleventh division now! Kingdew, who're you sending?” boomed out Fossa, collecting money from grumbling crew members who'd lost their bets against Baby.

“No one, she’s done,” yelled Ace, pushing himself into the circle, taking large strides towards Baby. He was loudly booed by the assembled crowd which was quickly mimicked by Baby.

“Yeah, yeah. Tell it to the Captain. And stop swearing around her!” Ace yelled at the crowd as he approached the still booing Baby. 

“She was doin’ fuckin’ great,” Fossa said, handing Ace the Berri he’d collected from her bets. Ace put the massive amounts of paper in his pockets as Fossa pushed Ace's chest with a giant finger. “Those are her winnings , Runt. Let ���er buy what she wants with ‘em,” he said, reaching to pat Baby on the head. She pretended to snap her fangs at him but was clearly playing. “All right ye bums, fight’s over with Baby, but plenty more to come! Over yonder!” Fossa boomed towards the assembled crew. “Good job, kid,” Fossa said to Baby, tugging her long ear gently, earning him a lick of her tongue against his hand. Ace felt a twinge of jealousy curl in his gut as the familiarity between his Sea Naga and the crew grew. Shaking it off, Ace focused on the teetering Baby, who was looking for more beer amongst the empty barrels. As Ace approached Baby, she swayed slightly on her tail as she smiled at him and thumped the tip of her tail loudly against the deck.

“Fight,” she said happily, throwing her arms in the air. 

“Yeah, fight,” Ace replied, picking her up at the thickest part of her tail and torso. She let herself fall into his arms, almost like she was boneless. She was cold and smelled like ale and spirits, Ace wondered how much she’d drank while he was passed out. Quite a bit if he based it on her floppy limbs and current hurried speech. She was speaking rapidly in Naga, Ace wished he could understand what she was saying. Based on her hand motions, she was recounting her fights against the crew mixed with a few mentions of his own name. He’d never heard her say so much in one go before and found the sibilant sounds of her serpent language to be quite pleasant. He wanted to encourage her to speak in her own language more often; it was beautiful in a haunting way, like the sounds of the wind whipping through a sea grotto.

“Winner,” she said proudly, her fingers clenched into a fist. Ace’s heart swelled with pride as if he'd taught her to fight himself. 

“Good job, Baby,” he said, kissing the top of her head as he walked to take her to bed. He didn’t want her fighting the crew but he was glad she was able to hold her own in case of a skirmish. He should give her some lessons, he mused, to make her an even stronger fighter. He couldn't imagine she'd often fought opponents at her level, probably just killed for food. Ace had taught Sabo and Luffy, surely he could handle teaching Baby. He’d work with her on ground fighting and ask Namur for help teaching her more down below the sea. It was a good idea, but not for tonight. Right now Baby was in the woozy part of drinking too much, still babbling happily to him. Entering the ship, Baby thumped the paddled end of her tail against the wall as he walked towards his cabin, the staccato beats matching the falls of his footsteps on the wood floors. 

Baby was almost completely reclined in Ace’s arms when he opened his door with his foot. She picked up her head and swiveled it slowly towards Ace, her furrowed brow and flicking tongue indicating her unfamiliarity with her surroundings. Ace wished his room was tidier but between the construction and the...general disarray his room was always in, it was pretty messy. There wasn't much in the room besides Ace's bed and his completely paper-covered desk and now Baby's crate. Baby flicked her tongue with increasing speed, wiggling out of Ace’s arms and plopping without grace onto the floor. Baby slithered hesitantly towards the crate, tongue lashing out every few seconds. She touched the bars of the crate, turning towards Ace with wide eyes. It was larger than Stefan's crate but the idea behind it was the same. It was constructed of wood with metal bars on the sides and it was large enough for Baby to curl up in. Ace had placed the furs and bones he'd taken from her cave inside as a surprise to acclimate her to the cage. 

“Assse, no,” she whispered, pulling on the bars of the crate, her drunkenness extending the consonants of his name. Ace looked at her face as her smile faded, looking more like the Naga he’d found earlier that day in the brig. She reached inside with the tip of her tail, pulling out one of the furs that Ace had brought for her. Putting it around her shoulders and fastening it with a bone clip he’d brought as well, Baby turned towards Ace.

“No, Assse,” she asked again, her ears pointing down in defeat and lip wobbling in stark contrast to her winning attitude just moments before.  Ace sighed, and closed his eyes. He was so tired, he’d worked hard all day long, he didn’t have energy for another confrontation with Baby. 

“Fine, you don’t have to sleep there tonight. You’re wasted anyway, I kinda wanna keep an eye on you,” Ace said with a yawn. He kicked off his boots into the corner of his messy room, he didn’t have much more gas in his tank. Crawling into his bed, he patted the spare space next to him and said “Baby, come here.” Baby immediately brightened up and slithered to Ace’s bed. She took off her fur and wound her body all around Ace’s much like the first time they slept next to one another. She pressed her chest to Ace’s side and placed her head on his chest. Ace inhaled a deep breath and held it in exhaling into Baby’s tangled hair. Hopefully Marco didn’t find out Baby wasn’t in the crate - but how would he? Ace’s thoughts drifted as he felt Baby’s breath even out, her little tongue accidentally flicking his nipple. 

Your POV

What. the. Fuck.

But really, what the fuck was wrong with humans? They invented a great beverage that tasted delightful and made you feel wonderful but the next morning it felt like an animal was living inside your head and died in your mouth. Your head was pounding with the worst headache you’d ever felt, your mouth was dry and you felt like regurgitating like when you’d eaten something too big whole. Thrashing around, you found Ace wasn’t there but had covered you with one of your old furs and some of his blankets. You did like his scent but you missed the warmth his body provided. 

Rolling yourself onto the floor, you slowly slithered away from the bed and to the bathroom. After relieving yourself, you gulped down some water with your hands. Leaving the bathroom, you twisted the knob to the main hallway, you found it open thankfully. You slithered so low to the ground you might as well have been a real snake but you didn’t have the energy to pick yourself any further off the floor. Everything was too loud, too bright, and too fragrant for you to attempt to be upright.

You smelled cooking food and headed that way. Either someone would feed you, you’d find Ace, or the Harpy would put you out of your misery - anything was fine by you right now. Entering the room with the food, you scanned for Ace. He was rapidly shoveling yellow and white blobs into his mouth but waved when he saw you. They smelled great and he started preparing you a plate of blobs from a platter while you were approaching.

“Hi Baby!” he chirped as you sat next to him. You thought about stabbing him with the knife but decided against it. He hadn’t invented the beverage, it wasn’t his fault you drank so much.

“Fuck,” you replied, leaning your head on your hand. The table went silent as Ace narrowed his eyes.

“What did you say?” he asked quietly.

“FUCK,” you repeated loudly, rubbing your face with your hand in annoyance. You were in no mood for silly communication games. 

“GOD DAMMIT GUYS! WHO TAUGHT HER TO SAY FUCK!?” Ace yelled at the laughing humans sitting nearby. Ace was about to yell again but you took your hand and put it over his mouth. You couldn’t listen to another loud sound or you were going to explode. 

“Fuck,” you said, pointing to him. “Fuck,” you said, pointing to Fossa and Namur. Fossa gave a pleased grunt while Namur extended his thumb upwards. “Fuck,” you said, pointing to Curiel, who laughed as he ate. You repeated the phrase and pointed to everyone at the table except for Izou, all decidedly happy at your use of the word. “Fuck,” you said with finality, eating the blobs off your plate while Ace pouted with his arms crossed.

Oh, they were warm, cooked eggs! The chef was a complete genius, you’d had eggs you’d taken from bird’s nests before but never thought to cook them. You’d have to give him another fish for this incredible creation. Like Ace, you started shoveling them into your mouth as fast as you could as he poured you a hot beverage in a ceramic mug adorned with the Leader’s symbol. 

“Try this. It’s coffee. Might help your hangover,” Ace grumbled at you, displeased by your new favorite word. You tasted the bitter liquid, unsure if it would cause you harm or not. It wasn’t as good as the one from the night before but you drank it anyway. It tasted earthy and gave your belly a pleasant feeling of warmth as you continued to eat with your hands. Ace handed you a piece of pronged metal like the one he held in his own hand. Confused, you took it but set it down on the table. You didn’t need it - couldn’t he see you had claws?  You kept eating and Ace didn’t bother you again about it though he watched you curiously. 

When you’d finished eating and drinking the coffee and a few cups of water, you felt a little better. Ace waited for you while you finished and you followed him up to the top deck of the ship. Everyone was bustling around, doing whatever it was that humans did for work. Flicking your tongue out, you detected the smell of the Harpy. He was nearby but not close enough for you to see. Ace was talking to a group of humans, exchanging papers with them. Watching the humans like you would observe wild animals in their natural habitat, Ace looked up and caught your eye, speaking to you while holding a bunch of papers in his hands.

“Ok, Baby. I gotta go. You can hang out here or go find Namur? I’m not sure where he is right now  -”

“Ace, you need to look at this before we -” other humans cut off Ace, garnering his attention once more. You figured he was busy doing whatever it was that he did, and slithered off to go rest in the sun. It was warmer than it had been previous days and you felt like complete shit so you felt entitled to sit and do nothing. Though, now that you thought about it, there wasn’t really much for you to do on the ship. On your island you’d been preoccupied with your survival, spending most of your time hunting, tanning hides, gathering wood, things like that. When you did have time, you liked to swim for fun or look for shells and interesting objects on the beach. Here, all of those things were done for you. You dind’t have to hunt or gather fuel and there was no beach to comb through. Sure, you could swim and hunt for fish but you weren’t sure what the parameters around that were. You'd figure out a way to ask Ace later about swimming and catching fish.

Deciding that was a problem for you in the future, you slithered to the large Captain of the ship, who was drowsing in his chair. For someone as large as the Captain, he didn’t seem to move too much. He had strings going to his nose and arm as he rested in the morning sun. Smaller humans wearing pink were attending to him. Looking them over, you supposed they were female humans, since they contrasted so heavily with the hairier humans you’d already seen. They looked similar to you in some ways, though their mammary glands were far more pronounced than yours were currently. They had long hair in various colors, though none as light as your own. They chattered between them, giving you cursory glances but not bothering you as you greeted the Captain with a hiss.

Climbing up his arms, he opened an eye as you crawled up his large body but didn't object outright. Settling down across his shoulders like you had before, you listened to the sounds of his breathing as the ship sailed along in the good weather. You closed your eyes, stretched out in a vulnerable position, content to let the Captain’s presence deter any potential danger while you slept. Slumber was upon you when you heard an unpleasant voice.

“Oh, she’s already here. Good, I was hoping to extract her venom today yoi. Let me -” you didn’t hear the rest of the sentence as you snapped like a rubber band into a defensive position and slithered down the far side of the Captain’s chair. You wanted to avoid conflict with the Harpy if at all possible rather than confront him directly. The Captain rumbled some kind of response but you were already on the railing of the ship, preparing to jump off. If you had to swim behind the ship for hours, so be it, you’d take that over being near the Harpy any day.

“Not so fast,” you heard the Harpy say as you lept, already in the air. The Harpy caught you in his talons mid-jump to your shock. It reminded you of the flight he’d taken you on when he’d kidnapped you from your island. You curled around his legs, trying to crack his bones but for some reason the Harpy was immune to your attacks. “Stop that,” he admonished you, as he dropped you back on the deck. You were panicked, you didn’t know what to do but felt the need to escape. You didn’t want to bite him - that was a sure way to get the muzzle back on - but he clearly wanted you for something and you didn’t want to find out what that was.

The Harpy brought out a covered jar from his pocket, showing it to you. You eyed it suspiciously, unsure what its purpose was. He then fished out a dried hank of meat from his sash and held it in front of himself, as if to give it to you.

“Come, you can have this. Yes, this is for you yoi. Come,” the Harpy repeated the command, wanting you to move towards him. Wary of his intentions, you ignored what he said and tried to make another escape. You weren't going to be fooled by his bait and switch trap like a simple minded animal.

“This can be done easily if you cooperate. Or not, if you prefer it that way,” the Harpy said, sighing. You were already turning back to the railing as he cornered you against the wall of the boat. Faster than you were able to detect with your eyes, he had you in a headlock with one arm, the other pushing on the underside of your mandible, a large taloned leg pinning a portion of your tail to the deck. The pressure he was putting on your jaw forced you to open your mouth and extend your fangs against your will. Once your fangs were extended, he pushed one through the cap of the jar and continued pressing against the soft underside of your jaw, causing your bite reflex to activate. You tried hissing your anger but the positioning of your mouth made it impossible. He exerted so much pressure in such an exact spot, his course of action must have been premeditated.

You thrashed your tail as hard as you could, attacking his arms with your claws, even trying to go limp to wriggle away but nothing worked. You found he was also made of flames, but not like Ace whose flames were made of fire. The Harpy’s flames protected him from anything you did, making your actions futile. Though it couldn’t have been more than a minute, your acute humiliation felt like it went on for eternity. You didn’t know why he had to do this now , in front of the Captain, in order to humiliate you. You guessed that he was being prevented from eating you and wanted to take his revenge but you didn’t have a clear understanding. Last night as you’d wrestled the other humans it almost made you feel like you belonged with them but the Harpy was quick to remind you that you were a captive, a nothing. 

Finally, the Harpy finished collecting your venom and pulled the jar off your fang, tilting the jar to inspect the contents. He didn’t release you though, he kept you in place as he put the jar back in his pocket.

“I don’t see Ace and you can’t roam around by yourself on the deck, it’s not safe. Maybe one day, but not today. Come,” he said to you, giving you the same hand motion as Stefan. You had no choice but to follow him as he lead you back towards Ace’s room. He was stronger, faster, and in a position of power on the ship over you. There was no point in trying to argue with him like you did Ace since the Harpy was undeterred in his actions no matter how you reacted. 

You kept your head down as you followed to Ace’s room, the scent of Ace combined with your furs and bones increasing with every slither you made towards the room. Once inside, the Harpy opened the door to the cage and motioned for you to enter. You slithered inside, curling up so all of you could fit within. He shut the locked door to the cage and crouched down to observe you inside. You turned your head away, not wanting to see the victory likely present in his eyes. He placed the hank of meat between the bars near your tail and stood up to leave. He closed the door to the room as he left, your freedom no closer than it had been the day before.

taglist: @mfreedomstuff

[xxplastic-cubexx]

what other silly little antics do you think charles and erik got up to in that cube besides play chess because my money's on book discussions. like them book clubs with suburban moms where you drink wine and talk about books you read except theres no wine i dont think thats permitted in the plastic cube prison and theres not even a club its just two old men

[rockosaur]

Midwest emo fans when a singers voice cracks

[ash-and-starlight]

new love language is sending links to pirated media

[syn4k]

to be, or not to be (romanticization of the inevitable)

[felassan]

remember that wild Dragon Age theme park ride (Dragon Age: Flight of the Wardens), originally located in Dubai until it randomly turned up years later (now also oddly-rebranded as "[Not Dragon Age We Swears It]: The Guardian") in, of all places, Skegness England? well, I had to satisfy my curiosity and obsession with obscure pieces of Dragon Age media & archival thereof. and so - actually quite some time ago now - I finally got around to going on a pilgrimage there (which was this whole, like.. heinous harrowing in and of itself, that I will not go into), and I rode it

and to my surprise the original Dragon Age in-ride movie is still part of the ride experience! - complete with references to darkspawn, a Pride demon, dragons, green "rifts", Discount Anders (a Grey Warden[?] mage called 'Eldron'), Discount Yavanna (a Witch of the Wilds called 'Alexia') and Dragon Age: Inquisition soundtrack music. there is also now a new pre-ride movie which replaces the old Dragon Age pre-ride movie as part of the ride's rebranding, and i simply ?¿?

there are also still quite a lot of identifiable Dragon Age props in the fantasy-themed queue-area of the ride (so these must have been part of the whole purchase between parks), including multiple iconic Inquisitor helmets, Grey Warden shields, a Dragon Age dragon (now with DA-dragon identifiable horns.. sawn off??), and several Dragon Age banners, including the Inquisition hairy eyeball, the templar symbol and the Circle symbol. here's some pictures.

[^this image is taken from the video linked below]

I also captured the new pre-ride movie, and you can see it along with the Dragon Age in-ride movie here ⬇️. and so now, with this epilogue to the.. most odyssey of all time, more than two years after the first message about the ride was ever sent to Ghil Dirthalen, this adventure in obscurity and the strange fever-dream meta story of the Dragon Age: Flight of the Wardens era in Dragon Age history is finally complete.

Ghil Dirthalen: The Guardian??? {Overview. - Spoilers All}

[video source & link: Ghil Dirthalen, posted here w/ permission]

some further notes, thoughts and commentary under the cut -

there's a few seconds missing from this capture of the in-ride movie. for the sake of the curious and completion: in them, you're still in the fort and you see lots of 'Wardens' walking and milling around.

a camera in the ride takes two photos of the riders during the ride, which are displayed on a screen on the way out. you can choose to buy these from the Fantasy Island merchandise store. you know those photos of people on log flume rides? it's like those, only of the four riders in a row in the seats. the photos have Fantasy Island branding on them and fire along the bottom, then in two corners there's a bit of a dragon's head and that's about it. the ride photo is the only Guardian-specific merch available at the park.

some of the queue area props appear to be from random other places. like there was a barrel which had something like "1850 distillery" written on it, which is obviously temporally/thematically and universe-ly out of place (not that that's at all unreasonable given the rest of the rideworld lore, there's totally a way it could have gotten there easily hh, see below), and I guess it's a spare or leftover prop from a Western-themed ride or something? others were generic sword'n'sorcery fantasy props (some of these are from the ride's previous life in Dubai though). there are also some pretty random props, like a dead stuffed roe deer's head on the wall and a.. comically large spoon.

there's music playing in the queue area, but it's not DA music, it's generic ye olde fantasy world music.

some folks there mistakenly thought that the long themed lead-up (it was pretty darn long) queue area with the props was the entrance to or start of something completely different, like a haunted house or maze type thing, or was the ride 'experience' in and of itself.

the ride attendant gives you the option of watching the new pre-ride movie or not. I guess they get sick of putting it on and listening to it 9000 times a day (valid), and also cutting it out reduces queue times as it's about five minutes long. it's screened in a little enclosed room at the end of the queue area. you go in and sit down, they show it to you, then you go through another door to the chair machine.

the in-ride movie is blurry and poor quality. I heard someone else who rode it say that it was so blurry that they had no idea what was going on hhh

Now about the new pre-ride movie. first of all, here's the transcript.

Pre-ride movie transcript "Welcome, my friends, to the gates of our kingdom, and the start of your adventure. I know your journey has been a long and arduous climb to get here, but we are grateful that you are the ones that have stepped forward to help us in our quest. I should probably start at the beginning. My name is King Aethelswyth [sp?] and I am the ruler of Elvia [sp?] - at least, what's left of it. You see, six months ago, our world was invaded by giant demons and creatures from another dimension, which now plunder our lands, and continue to destroy our kingdom piece by piece. They came, through a time-rift, from another world, leaving much destruction in their wake. Ever since they came, our people have defended as best they are able, but, we were once a peaceful race, and sadly no match for the giant demons and dragons. Luckily, a few days ago, help arrived. They came through the rift, human in form but with incredible powers, and the ability to not only fly but transform into dragon-like creatures. That's where you all come in. You see, not only have they brought hope to our lands, but also gifted us with technology, the likes of which we have never seen before. This communication device for example - it enables us to talk to each other from great distances without being in the same room. And there is something else, and the reason why you are here. They provided us with plans to create our own machine, which as we speak is being prepared for your mission. I should explain. The machine, although made of metal and advanced technologies we can't even begin to understand, requires biological matter to function; a very specific amount of oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen and calcium, all of which you are made from my friends. Once you are connected to the machine, you will be lifted into the portal and instantly dropped into the outer world. You'll be able to fight alongside the guardians and help close the rift once and for all. I won't lie. The mission will be dangerous, but with your help, we can defeat the giant demons, close the rift and save the kingdom. Hahahaha! [dragon roars] Ah, do not be afraid! This is Mia [sp?], one of the dragon guardians. She will help you on your quest and guide you to the rift. There it will be up to you to find a way to close it. My friends, it is almost time for you to enter the machine, and become the guardians! [inaudible] a safe journey. Save Elvia, become the heroes you're destined to be! The gates will open momentarily, as soon as the machine is ready for you. Good luck my friends, and I'll see you on the other side!"

in the linked video, the start of the new pre-ride movie isn't included in full at normal speed as it seemed to be a compilation of whatever random fantasy-themed stock footage the video creator could find, stitched together. but again for the curious and the sake of completion: it starts out panning randomly around SPACE, like at the solar system and of planets and at the Milky Way. for a sec I wondered if it was made up of random old Mass Effect assets. then it shows dragons (FROM SPACE) invading an Earth-like planet where I suppose the Ferelden-y kindgom (formerly called "Noathen", now called "Elvia" or something) setting in the rideworld is now supposed to be set. these invading dragons invade either from space or.. another dimension?? or maybe from the future or both?? [see below], entering through a big green rift. (and they still have the green coloring for the rifts and call it/them "rifts" like in DA, which was honestly so funny to me for some reason). the whole panning in from space start to the movie reminded me a lot of the Easter eggs in the DA and ME games that, while they're just Easter eggs for fun and I don't subscribe to this theory myself (as DA is its own great, self-contained thing), could light-heartedly imply that the planet with Thedas on it is a planet in the MEverse (like the krogan head in the Winter Palace in DAI or the ogre in that ME dlc).

in the pre-ride movie, the kingdom of "Elvia" might have actually been called "Albion", which is the earliest-known name for the island of Britain. (it was hard to make out exactly what the king was saying there) the new pre-ride movie seems like it was made in England and ofc thats a common fantasy setting, so I could see it, especially since the king character's name was something like Aethylswyth, which sounded very "Old English". for me personally, if it was "Albion", it adds fuel to the fire of Caitie's cracktheory/"trying to make this fit"-headcanon for the ride story/lore (see Caitie's original video on the ride's previous life for this), that it's set somewhere obscure and backwatery in Ferelden, which is kinda England- or Britain-inspired. (dont take these thoughts or other thoughts in this post about the lore/canon etc too srsly pls hh, it's just crack for fun and I know tis just an off-brand themepark ride)

on the whole the new pre-ride movie is pretty random. there's a giant in it, but it doesn't look like a DAI giant. (is it his big spoon??) it shows a fortress in part of it which looks a bit like Skyhold if you squint, with the long bridge approaching it as the entrance. at one point one of the dragons that pops up is a dragon designed more in the style of a dragon as they are sometimes depicted in, for example, Chinese mythology and folklore. the "communication device" the king described had me rolling, it's exactly like a Dragon Age Skype Crystal or a working set of eluvians from Thedas.. I wondered if the video creator was inspired some by DAI promo images and took cues from the Inquisitor's green hand/the Anchor, since the king has a green glowing thing on (or in?) his chest. and when the king started listing the elements humans are made of, I was reminded of Fullmetal Alchemist.

also, "through a time rift".. I mean technically Dorian's involvement in DAI DOES show green space-time magic right? Where is this other dimension? ofc I know it's not literally Dragon Age, but it's funny to think about and to try and make it "fit" skhskdhfjhe. is it the Fade? the Void? from somewhere in-between like Tevinter Nights implies exists? or is it the dimension which has Thedas's mundane world itself in it - like maybe the dragons are invading this poor guy's kingdom dimension from Thedas? if so what tf is going on in Thedas?? did Solas' explosion at the Conclave ripple through spacetime and rip holes in the fabrics of other worlds as well - like is Solas out here accidentally causing interdimensional Space Dragon invasions? like, theoretically.. the new pre-ride move does reference the in-ride movie, and in turn the in-ride movie is still Dragon Age (!), so technically the new pre-ride movie IS.. kind of.. weirdly.. canon.

((the pre-ride movie references an "outerworld", implying that even in THAT dimension there's an outer world and an inner world, definitely more than one at least. and back on the dimensions thing, I'm not clear - are the dragons coming from Thedas dimension? or are they coming to Thedas dimension? "they came through the rift, human in form but with powers, the ability to fly [that's Eldron] and the ability to transform into dragon-like creatures [that's Alexia]" implies that the dimension on the other side of the rift - if the helpers came through the same rift as the invading dragons - is Thedas, because that's Eldron and Alexia from the Dragon Age in-ride movie being referred to, and Noathen where they're from is in Thedas somewhere. so some Thedosians have travelled to another world to save it?? Dragons are escaping out of Thedas? but.. from space? but also - the narration is telling us that Eldron and Alexia and the other Guardians brought with them from where they came from, as a gift, incredible advanced technology that the people of Elvia have never seen before. he then gives the example of "this communication device" which could be read meta-ly as meaning the television screen, and of plans to build a machine made of metal and advanced technology (meaning the ride machine you go sit on, which is a themepark machine irl obviously and in the 'world' of the ride, some kind of flying machine). so like.. are Eldron and Alexia from Future Thedas (think Avatar Aang/Korra, when by Korra's time there's like lots more machinery and a more modern feel), a Thedas which has advanced complex machines like idk, AEROPLANES? is that what they mean by "time-rift"? because they specifically did say "time". is that to try and explain the modern machinery? does that mean the invading dragons also came from the future, not just from space or another dimension? the other option: Eldron and Alexia came from alternate universe Thedas, which has more modern technology in it. but Thedosians Time-Travelling From The Future And Also Space And Another Dimension is so funny to me so lets go with that. my headcanon is that on the way to Elvia they also timetravelled through a Westernthemed time period and thats why theres a recent-modern period whisky barrel)).

in the ride's previous life, the explanatory hook was that Eldron made you a special harness or saddle thing with which to ride a dragon, which was what the ride machine was simulating. however now, the hook to explain the machine is that it's a gift of advanced technology powered by carbon, hydrogen, organic matter (Big Oil lmao?) etc. (I enjoyed that this explanatory hook got wackier between eras of the ride's life, much like the whole meta story of this piece of media itself. it was already weird because riding dragons isn't really part of DA. though I don't understand meta-ly speaking this convoluted explanation for the machine. dragon-riding isn't an identifiable or key part of the Dragon Age franchise, so they could have kept the idea that you're sitting on a dragon's back and flying around on that in instead of having this wacky explanation about a flying machine gifted from magical strangers from Back To The Future and it would have been fine. I love it though bc its so absurd)

And Tiny Dragon Alexia from the original ride experience is kinda referenced (unintentionally?) when the king introduces the dragon "Guardian" "Mia", as when she comes on-screen her size or scaling looks small/kinda off, so maybe Tiny Dragon lives on. so now we have Tiny Dragon Alexia, Tiny Dragon Mia, and Tiny Dragon queue prop. it's a Tiny Dragon Conference.

and like I just have so many questions. in her original video on the ride, Ghil Dirthalen wondered at length where in Ferelden/Thedas Noathen could be. where is Elvia? why does the pov of the pre-ride movie proceed downstairs into the room where the king is - like why does the king have his throne in a basement? is he in an underground bunker for safety because of the Space Dragon invasion? why does he say we "climbed" up when we have just gone down into his dungeon? why is the tiny dragon introduced as "Mia" when the tiny dragon witch lady in the in-ride movie is called "Alexia"? does the king's green glowing chest thing work like the Anchor - does he have a chest Anchor.. a Chanchor? where did they get Discount Gandalf from the queue area and why is he exactly like the Ghil Dirthalen Stock Theatre Wizards in her original video? why did they change the kingdom's name from "Noathen" to "Elvia" in the pre-ride movie when "Noathen" was already non-existent in Dragon Age lore? why did they scrub Dragon Age from or avoid Dragon Age in the pre-ride movie but leave the whole Dragon Age in-ride movie intact? are the "Guardians" Discount Grey Wardens? is the king's whole schpeel secretly an evil plot so he that can use our bodies for like necromancy-alchemy? why does the ride run on your flesh and are we about to be sacrificed in a blood magic ritual? do we end up like the husks in Mass Effect after our organic forms are broken down into compounds to fuel the King of Elvia's flying anti-dragon defense tank? is the actor of the king a park staffer who is into larping, or someone's fun nerd uncle who likes DnD? does Caitie not in fact agree that I am very handsome and smart, indeed the World's Most Interesting Guy? 😤 why go to the trouble of sawing off the dragon's DA-dragon horns when the in-ride movie is still Dragon Age?? why are the dragons invading from space anyway like what do they want??? how can I obtain the king actor guy's autograph? where are EA's lawyers? and why is there a giant spoon?

[candelett]

miss castle audios this is my formal request to have a 10 minute long makeout audio with claire and the ranger (i say biting at the pillows like a feral bat on steroids)

[classic-snake]

do you think our guys are aware of how much we rip into them, absolutely flame them, clown on them, for dressing most ugly clothes ever, RIP THEM OFF NOW!!!!!!! Ugly . like. they have this thing amongst them 'did we pass. did we pass the test. did we pass MC's test' and either they are so happy for some days or week(s) if they did indeed '''''pass'''' or so crushed after they learned they have """failed""", feeling like they failed MC, head in hands. that long suffering sigh of a pet

[selemina]

I finally watched Animator VS Animation. I uh... I have feels. Those are some EXPRESSIVE stickmen, damn! If anything, AVA is a masterclass on body language! But it also happens to be fun, spectacular, emotional and beautiful! So much effort goes into every episode, I as a fellow animator I am measuring the amount of work and I am HORRIFIED! So it is time for another episode of "Sel finds stuff on the internet" : Go watch AVA! You won't be disappointed!