#its cool! i like them having something to work with man

[guzmawife]

🍓: he had no job when i met him but now he works at a high school as an errand boy / security (his children attend said school). hes the guy they call in when a real teacher needs to use the bathroom so he can watch the class. or to retrieve some papers from the printer. go get me that thing boy.

🍒: probably just chilling at home with snacks and movies and fast food. or chillen at the beach. 🏝️

🍎: tapu cocoa.. we all know dis.. hot sweet drinks…

🍉: hes not religious other than believing that a higher power exists. hi arceus..

🍑: totally more comfortable giving gifts. hes used to taking care of others so it’s pretty natural for him to be giving. he has no issue receiving but its not rlly a priority since he didnt come from much so hes used to not rlly asking for much.

🍊: i make him peel it. he knows my paws and claws have to stay clean… he’s comfortable with getting dirty and i am not!

🥭: no i domt think so. his dad was a prick and said shit like. Youre not a woman so you dont need those. fuckkkk that guy.

🍍: probably him being mentally manipulated and abused! 😿 killing all the people that taught him he wasn’t anything and made him feel like he had to act out in order to prove himself to others. hhhggffg. he deserves to be loved.

🍌: he likes to be in the dark. das it. no specific reason why.

🍋: he would probably change his hothead nature bc he doesn’t like how quickly he gets upset and makes bad decisions. and his hairline.

🍋‍🟩: he tells people if you squish bugs more will keep showing up. as a joke. heehe. sorry im gonna squish them still im a pussy.. thats probably why they keep showing up though. i have an actual curse. maybe he’s right man…

🍈: he thinks fate is bogus and if you want something to happen you have to make it happen.

🍏: hes bisexual and questioning demisexuality, he learned of his bisexuality through being in denial of liking the same sex and being like. This is ruining my tough guy personality. This can’t be. but then it kept happening and he was like man fuck this whatever. what the hell sure. he became normal. he’s still figuring out the demisexuality, to put it simply he just doesnt want to engage in sexual acts with anyone unless he has a genuine connection to them. it also just feels better for him. sorry for airing out your business Anywayyyyyy. Anyway.

🍐: he’s a nail biter its kinda gross sorry man. his nails are short always so i make him do short nail tasks since my nails are usually pretty long. i think he bounces his legs sometimes too. he knows i hate that shit thou so he tries not to. usually i just leave so he can shake all he wants. then hes like what wait no….

🥝: he would totally let me do his makeup. we’re both pretty lazy when it comes to makeup so we don’t so anything complex. i just do mascara and corner highlights and SOMETIMES lipstick and that’s it. #autistic i cant stand having too much shit ok my face. this isn’t even about me brah. he does simple makeup too since he’s just not super experienced. he just tries things sometimes but he’s not a professional. he just wants to look cool.

🫒: he’s a big hugger he squeezes too tight but it feels good though…. (´ ω `♡) he likes to be hugged too! yey!

🫐: definitely more of an artist he actually keeps a sketchbook. right brained yeah.

🍇: if we never met i think he might still be getting himself into some trouble tbh. he’s pretty stubborn.

🥥: he draws he plays games. he works out. he cooks. i think he would want to get into gardening but his location doesn’t allow for it since it’s always fucking raining.

🍅: i think he would get me testosterone or something that i can’t possibly get safely right now. or like. my own living space. or some rare pokemon card / plush that costs more than an organ online. sigh. or probably 1 billion dollars. muhehw.

🌶️: he drinks ginger ale. ginger ale the ultra cure.

🫚: hes not picky. he cant eat beans bc hes allergic to them. but i dont think hes picky since he has to make sure his kids eat first. so he eats whatevers left from them. leftover amalgamation.

🥕: he didnt like them but he ate them anyway bc his parents were mean :(

🧅: he cries when hes angry like super fuming. and when hes thinking about his past. hes just mad at himself for what happened and how he handled things. Basically. getting manipulated and taken advantage of makes him upset and he cries. he doesnt cry at movies unless he relates to them.

🌽: does bugs counts as animal. He likes dogs. and isopods. and other sea creatures.

🥦: pet peeves are getting called ‘boy’ or ‘kid’. i used to call him boy all the time just by habit and he would Not like that. “I’m not a boy. I’m a man. stop callin me dat…” okaaayyy whatevar. he doesnt have an issue with me calling him dude tho. despite being his lover. which is a little funny. um what else. people not knocking before entering. leaving empty cartons and stuff in the fridge or cabinet. ppl telling him he looks tired. or people calling him old. not that he has an issue with old people (😽) but its like. How did you even reach that conclusion.

🥒: hes afraid of ultra beasts a little.. specifically uh whats its name. nihilego. that bird that i hate. middle finger emoji. hes like. a little more hesitant with UBs than regular mons. he’s also got a fear of getting lost.

🥬: beige flags auumm i hate his ugly fucking sunglasses. and when he says. ya boy (pinches the space between my brows). peeing with the door open. he does that thing where u can feel him looking at you waiting to turn around during the movie so he can kiss you. theres probably more. im very good at complaining.

🫛: he loves to think of new pet names for me to see how i will react. he’d be like. “goodnight honeypie” and id be like “oh…. yeah… 😽” he also likes them too but most of the time i just call him musham or guzma bc i like saying his name. then he’s like. Why dont you call me anything else…. (sad puppy eyes). he likes when i call him mumu or honey. i calll him princess sometimes but its rare. princess is like his top pet name for me. meeooww. sometimes i call him Boss. thats For when. Im teasing Him. That one Makes his Ears turn Red. For special Occasions. meow.

🫑: he’s had a number of near death experiences so he’s pretty afraid of death. he has no lofty life goals. he just wants his family safe. wants to travel too and have good genuine relationships.

🥑: not super niche but cosmetics and nail art. he also likes cooking and insects and drawing. just things he grew to like from being around his family. or trying to distract himself from his own issues.

🍠: he likes to go to the beach and sit listening to the waves (same). he also likes to paint his or others nails when he’s bored. “gimme yer hands i wanna try sumn”. yknow.

🍆: favorite scent is meeeeeee… i kid i kid. probably like. Ugh. baked goods. Sugar smell. Rain smell 👎🏾 i hate rain smell but he likes it. i don’t think he has any specific least favorite smells other than the usual like peepee and caca yknow.

🧄: allergic to beans

🥔: he makes japanese curry a lot. easy to make in large portions for his 75million children. i like rice so he usually makes rice dishes for me. i don’t cook very often but when i do its cultural foods since he doesn’t know those recipes. he likes those. yom. he wants to learn baking but just hasn’t had the chance or motivation.

🍄‍🟫: i think he would wanna be a mewtwo or something. super strong and cool nonchalant. if we’re talking irl mytho creatures, cerberus. that guy cool as shit. #swagger.

this took me three whole days to answer. enjoyable experience rlly made me think. sorry for any typos i used swipe typing for parts of this 😿.

@sylvie-wants-your-dogs hi : )

the ULTIMATE f/o infodumping ask game!

(this is gonna be a long one...)

🍓 - disregarding the career your f/o currently has, what other career would they consider going into, if given the chance?

🍒 - if your f/o and you spend a day doing anything, anything at all, what would they do and why?

🍎 - what's your f/o's favorite drink? any drink, alcoholic or non alcoholic!

🍉 - is your f/o religious? what's their opinion on religion or spirituality?

🍑 - is your f/o more comfortable giving or receiving gifts? why? do they have any preferences on gifts they like receiving?

🍊 - if you asked your f/o to peel an orange for you, what would they do?

🥭 - did your f/o have stuffed animals growing up? do they still have stuffed animals? do they have a favorite?

🍍 - if you could change any one thing about your f/os backstory/character, what would you change? why?

🍌 - does your f/o have a vendetta against The Big Light™? what kind of lighting do they prefer?

🍋 - if your f/o could change one thing about themselves, what would they change and why?

🍋‍🟩 - is your f/o superstitious? is there any habits they follow or quirks they have to follow said superstitions? like not opening umbrellas indoors to avoid back luck?

🍈 - does your f/o believe in fate? do they thing everything is preplanned out by the universe or a higher power, or do they think that the idea of fate is bogus? why?

🍏 - if you have any queer headcanons for your f/o, how did they realize they were queer?

🍐 - does your f/o have any nervous ticks or idle quirks they do? like mindlessly tapping on a desk or fiddling with their hair when they're stressed?

🥝 - would your f/o ever let you do their make-up? what does their make-up process look like? is it simple? complex?

🫒 - what kind of hugger is your f/o? do they give good hugs? do they like hugs? do they like receiving hugs?

🫐 - is your f/o more of a writer or an artist? would you say your f/o is more left or right brained?

🍇 - if you and your f/o never met, what do you think your f/o would be doing right now?

🥥 - what hobbies does your f/o have? is there any hobby they would like to get into that they haven't tried out yet? what is it?

🍅 - if your f/o could buy you any gift in the world, whether it exists or not, what would they buy you? or, if they could make you something, what would it be?

🌶️ - does your f/o have any remedies they follow when they get sick? like taking a shot of whiskey to get rid of a fever?

🫚 - is your f/o a picky eater? is there any foods they will not under any circumstances, gun to their head, eat?

🥕 - when your f/o was little, did they dislike vegetables? do they still dislike them?

🧅 - what makes your f/o cry? do they get emotional at sad movies or books? do they only get emotional under very rare circumstances?

🌽 - does your f/o have a favorite animal? what is it? are they scared of any animals?

🥦 - does your f/o have any pet peeves? things that just really really get on their nerves? what are they and why?

🥒 - what's your f/o afraid of? do they have any phobias? anything minor they're scared of?

🥬 - what are some beige flags your f/o has? so, not bad, but not nessecarily good either. just. "oh. you do This."

🫛 - how does your f/o feel about pet names or nicknames? do they like them? hate them? what are their favorites and least favorites to be called and to use?

🫑 - how does your f/o feel about death? are they afraid of it? is there anything specific they'd like to do before they die?

🥑 - is there any niche topics your f/o is interested in? what are they and why do they like them?

�� - what are a few of your f/os favorite pastimes or things that they do when they're bored?

🍆 - does your f/o have a favorite scent? why is it their favorite? do they have a least favorite scent?

🧄 - does your f/o have any allergies? food or otherwise?

🥔 - does your f/o have any food dishes they make often? is there any foods you make for your f/o that they enjoy?

🍄‍🟫 - if your f/o could be any mythological species, what would they be? if your f/o is already a mythological species, would they ever want to be human?

I recommend practicing reblog karma ! people love infodumping about their f/os :) I also recommend sending more than one emoji at a time,,, there are Many here...!!!

[wingsdippedingold]

Saw a Reddit post about how someone thought that the only reason SJM made Lucien Elain’s mate was because she needed him in the NC for the plot, and because he wouldn’t work out with Nesta like she originally wanted, she stuck him with Elain

And yk what…? As someone who doesn’t care for Elucien that much because I don’t see them actually working well as a couple in the long run(I don’t see Elriel doing that either though) it might not be that far off. Now you can argue that we just don’t know much about Elain, but I PERSONALLY don’t think they’d work out in the the long run based off of what we have seen from Elain.

I find their appeal to be short lived in terms of the characters. Lucien will help give Elain the freedom and space she needs, but after that I’d love to see Elain on her own idk. Like setting a bird free after healing its wing or something. He will breathe life into Elain, but I think it ends there and I think that could be beautiful. They truly are souls that would help each other, but their mate bond doesn’t have to be solely romantic and they can part ways having fulfilled that part of growth before then going on their own way. I think being alone would do a lot of good for Elain but that’s just me.

Instead of giving Nesta and Lucien the growth to fit together, which truthfully I think would work out well, she just stuck him with a new person. And she stuck Nesta with Cassian… who we actively see treat each other poorly and are mutually bad for each other…? Like in ACOWAR cool, but after that? Yeah their characters are not good for each other.

ALSO I DONT think Nesta would eat Lucien alive (that’s what she does to Cassian and he can’t handle it). I think it’s just part of the “Nesta is a an angry bitch” propaganda, because I think Nesta would thrive with a calm and humorous man who is emotionally mature, because Nesta herself is a peaceful person she’s just constantly provoked and that brings around anger. She would thrive with a calm partner.

[aalghul]

Out of curiosity, do you have strong opinions on Jason’s current suit/costume? Is there one we’ve seen in the past that you prefer as opposed to others?

I really like Jason’s Under The Hood suit/costume with the helmet and no signal on his chest — I think it’s a badass-but-not-trying sort of look and just. Classic but also I will say I Hate The Crowbar schtick he’s got going on right now

Anyways, I love your analyses and reading your thoughts! I hope you have a good night/day/timezone.

hiiii, of course i have strong opinions about that! Jason has so many boring outfits that say absolutely nothing that it hurts me. Why is he essentially just wearing a work out outfit so often. He's not boring enough for this.

Let's start off with the original under the red hood outfit. chef's kiss. a perfect reflection of his relationship with identity: entirely standard and impersonal, with the exception of the helmet in reference to his murderer. It's the ensemble of a spirit come back to taunt, not a living person conveying some present sense of themself. The lack of individuality here is the intention and its purpose is to ensure he doesn't stand out, except wrt the helmet.

I especially like that it's just a slightly upgraded version of what he was wearing at the end of lost days, which is just jeans and a jacket. once again: nothing flashy because he doesn't need a separation between jason todd and red hood; jason todd is red hood and red hood is just a temporary specter meant to dissipate after his planned confrontation.

note the lack of batsymbol! i'm also a believer in it having no role in jason's costume. it is crucial that utrh jason has no such thing to mark him. his only visible connection to who he was is the mark of his murderer.

and since you asked about weapons (or, the crowbar lol), i'll briefly mention that i like how versatile he was! bring back his knives. RN.

so ugly. my god. and no i don't just mean the helmet in the n52 version. The grey is so drab, the brown jacket says nothing, not a single thing about the suit is complimentary with anything else except the red in the symbol and the red in his helmet. The symbol existing is ridiculous because no amount of "irony" excuses how ill-fitting a choice it is. A stylized red version of the bat-symbol is worse than the original symbol because he's reaching a compromise within the design itself that's just not reflected in reality? It's completely one-sided at best, and more often a symbol of implicit submission. How degrading. but more importantly it is just so ugly. my god. (though i do enjoy the thigh holsters.)

a moment of shame for the ugly monstrosity on the left. what the hell man.

onto the right: okay whatever. A sleeveless Jason costume will never work for me because he's too paranoid for that, sorry! Knee high boots are a cool concept, but I wish they looked less...like children's rubber rain boots? Something a little less chunky would fit Jason's movement. Those are literally just regular cargo pants. Once again, the symbol has to go. I've tried to warm up to the hand wraps but I just do not like them under the gloves, and Jason would not (and should not) leave out the gloves. The hood is stupid! Nothing else to say there. (also: crowbar user! ew.)

okay. what even are you. i don't even have a strong dislike for task force z but i did not enjoy looking at this thing. (again: crowbars. ew.)

[seumyo]

TOKOYAMI FUMIKAGE ⭑.ᐟ RECENT BAKING NEWS: GINGERBREAD MAN MURDERED BY ICING

Tokoyami stood near the oven, his eyes scanning the latest batch cooling on the tray. “This one survived,” he said, lifting a gingerbread man with only a minor crack in its leg.

“Fumi, look!”

It was a gingerbread man covered in neon pink icing, its buttons slightly askew, and its face looking more mischievous than festive. Like an evil version of Gingy from Shrek.

“It’s... unique,” he said diplomatically.

You giggled, clearly proud of your work. “He’s special! I call him Sir Gingy of Sprinkleland!”

Tokoyami hummed, setting the rest of the intact gingerbread men on a cooling rack. “Sir Gingy seems to have taken significant damage to his arm,” he pointed out.

You gasped, inspecting the cookie again. “Oh no! I didn’t even notice! Poor Sir Gingy! He’s been through so much.” You gave it a dramatic, sorrowful look. “You think icing can save him?”

“No amount of icing will repair that arm. It’s a lost cause.”

“Fine. He’ll just be a war hero. I’ll make a new one!”

As you grabbed another gingerbread man, you accidentally squeezed your piping bag too hard, sending a short yet thick stream of icing splattering onto the counter. “Oops,” you said with a sheepish grin, quickly grabbing a spoon to scrape it up.

“[Name], you’re making more of a mess than anything.”

“Hey, I’m making art!” you retorted, playfully sticking your tongue out at him. “You’re just jealous because my gingerbread men are cooler than yours.”

“Mine are intact. That alone makes them superior.”

Your rebuttals continued as you two worked, though “worked” might have been a generous term. You had an almost endless supply of energy, attacking each gingerbread man with new ideas, while Tokoyami methodically piped clean, precise lines onto his.

At one point, you leaned in close to inspect one of his cookies. What kind of sorcery did he perform to do such a thing?

“How do you make the lines so straight?”

“Practice,” Tokoyami replied simply, though his feathers ruffled slightly at your proximity.

“I think it’s because you’re just naturally good at everything,” you said with a smile, not noticing how your compliment made his gaze soften.

The process to create the “perfect” gingerbread man was more complicated than it had to be. One batch was slightly overbaked, leading to you dramatically declaring them “burnt sacrifices to the oven gods.” Another batch could barely hold out on their own, way too soft—Tokoyami couldn’t bring himself to even step in and stop your experimentation with the recipe with how happy you looked.

Luckily, not that much ingredients went to waste as he made do of the rest to salvage them.

“Aw, I think this one got sentenced to weak, floppy arms.”

“I’m not sure he could’ve survived the icing flood anyway.”

By the time you finally managed to create a properly decorated gingerbread man, you were a complete mess. Flour streaked your cheeks, and your hands were sticky with icing. Tokoyami, who had somehow remained relatively clean, couldn’t help but stare at you in disbelief.

He shook his head and reached for a clean cloth. “Hold still.”

Tokoyami gently dabbed at the icing on your arm, then turned his attention to your face. “There’s flour on your cheek,” he said, his voice softening as he used the cloth to wipe it away.

“And on your nose.”

“And… here too.”

You held perfectly still, your eyes wide as you felt his fingers gently brush a stray sprinkle out of your chin. Your heart skipped a beat.

“Thanks, Fumi. But, uh… you’ve got a little something too.”

Tokoyami tilted his head to the side. “Where?”

You smirked mischievously, swiping your finger through a dollop of icing on the counter and booping it onto his beak. “There!”

He froze, his feathers ruffling in surprise as you burst into laughter. “[Name]…”

“Come on, you can’t stay mad at me during Christmas!” you teased cheekily.

With a sigh that was more amused than annoyed, Tokoyami grabbed another cloth to wipe his beak clean. “How childish,” he muttered, but the fondness in his tone was unmistakable.

Despite the countless casualties—burnt cookies, cracked gingerbread men, and icing floods—they eventually managed to create a perfectly decorated, cutesy gingerbread man. You held it up triumphantly, your now neatly cleaned hands bringing out the baked goods beauty.

All thanks to your boyfriend who had the patience of a saint. Nevertheless, Tokoyami couldn’t help but think that this was the kind of Christmas memory he would treasure forever.

SEUMYO © 2025. PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, PLAGIARIZE, MODIFY OR TRANSLATE.

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

Hello hello fellow mutual! Can I request some fluffy Engiescout head-canons & how the rest of the Mercs would react to their relationship?

EngieScout Headcanons!

————————————————————

Hey, hey moot! This totally didn't take me an absurdly long time to answer 😭 Anyways, you can indeed request these because, I think EngieScout is a really cute ship, so I'm more than happy to write about it!

————————————————————

Engineer has a PLETHORA of nicknames for Scout, and they are HUMILIATING to Scout. It's not that he doesn't like the nicknames, but give the poor man a break, his heart can only take so much. Darlin', sweetheart, buttercup, doll, his face is BRIGHT red. Hitting Engie with a "yeah..yeah...whatever whatever!" Which only makes Engineer comment on it, innocently at first, but the longer they're together it becomes more teasing.

————————————————————

Scout likes to doodle a lot, and he's definitely drawn Engineer, his pre-existing gadgets, and even some blue prints for totally cool and awesome super possible devices that Engie should totally make for him. And while Engineer doesn't get to making his blue prints come to life, they all get pinned up in his workspace, as well as any art that Scout is willing to gift to him.

————————————————————

Scout is DEFINITELY a bit of a clothes theif, however, he gets SUPER embarrassed and defensive if called out, even if it's not intentionally brought up to embarrass him. He has 100% stolen a shirt or two from Engie and then has Engie compliment him on how nice Scout looks in his clothes, only from Scout to try and protest, only to be met with MORE compliments, which eventually make Scout give the clothes back. Which DOES lead to a conversation about how Engie genuinely loves seeing Scout in his clothes, and how they make Scout feel just a bit closer to Engie, even when he's not around.

————————————————————

I like to think Scout is covered in moles and freckles, and sometimes, on hot nights, when Engie and Scout are having a sleepover, Engineer will trace the moles and freckles on Scout, connecting each one slowly while they talk and talk and talk. And sometimes, the conversation drifts to talks about stars and constellations, and Engie uses each mark on Scout as a way to draw the constellations. He also comments on the freckles on Scout's face as well, and he genuinely loves them.

————————————————————

I think Scout likes to sit with Engie while he works, especially late into the night. He may complain about being bored every now and then, but generally, he spends time just talking Engineers ear off about whatever he can think about. Engie just listens quietly while tinkering, giving brief a "mhm" or "is that right?" But don't let him fool you! He is interested! He's just splitting his attention. Also, I definitely think Scout has fallen asleep while trying to stay up all night along side Engie. The Bonk can only hold up so much against coffee </3. And once Engineer notices, he figures it's time they both sleep. Some nights, he wakes Scout up, and they head to bed. Other nights, he just shakes his head with a laugh, picking Scout up and taking him to bed himself.

————————————————————

On days where Engie has pulled yet another all nighter to work on things, or simply stay up because he can't sleep. Scout will do his best to drag the poor sleep deprived man to bed, or he'll make his way to the empty kitchen, and spend a good amount of time making sure he can make Engie the PERFECT cup of coffee. It may have more than 3 times the amount of sugar the human body can handle, but Engie always accepts it with a smile, and a small cheers with Scout's own cup of coffee, as Scour tries to understand Engineer's odd sleep habits, and how he can help the poor man get some decent rest.

————————————————————

I like to think Engineer has to work with some sort of background noise. He cannot work in complete silence, unless its something he needs to have total focus on. But normally he has a little radio playing some random station on as background noise. However sometimes when Scout comes to watch him work, or just pester him, he'll change the radio to "better" music. At first, it slightly annoyed Engie, not that he REALLY cared about the music, but it was the fact that Scout thought his music tastes were better! But after yet another time of Scout popping in to pester him, he forgot, yet again, to change the radio back before leaving. Engineer sighed, too invested in his project to get up and change it. So he found himself getting more work done with the music Scout had chosen. When Scout came back AGAIN to pester the poor man, he paused, instantly teasing him for not changing the music back. But what can Engie say, he works better thinking of the man he loves.

————————————————————

I think Scout's favorite date he's been on with Engie is when one night he Engineer approached Scout, blanket, some snacks, and drinks in hand, and didn't even really tell him what was happening, just grabbed Scout along with the other items and walked him outside, not too far from the base but a decent amount, laid out the blanket, and just laid down, inviting Scout to join him. And they simply had some snacks and stargazed. Scout nearly fell asleep as they did so, as at some point Engie had pulled Scout close and began playing with his hair.

————————————————————

As for the teams reaction, I don't think most of them care. Hey, as long as everyone is happy and still getting their jobs done, who are the others to hate? They wish them nothing but the best together...HOWEVER!

Pyro is, at first, a little bit of an over protective fan, Engie and Scout are both it's friend! So they're naturally a bit nervous about things, but in the end, they're just so happy that their friends can be happy with each other, and that they're in love. Pyro is VERY supportive!

Spy however...I really don't like the hc that Spy doesn't care that his son is dating a man, he's more concerned with the TYPE of man Scout is dating. Although he has his gripes about the Texan, he knows deep down that Engie is a good, honest man, as much as any of them could be. He's begrudgingly supportive, because he truly does just want what's best for his son. And if that's dating a man from Texas who's chronically covered in motor oil, grease, burns and cuts. Well, he'll, tolerate it, for now, for the sake of son. But he WILL complain by muttering in French when the two are with each other around him.

————————————————————

Hope you liked this, and i hope they are fluffy enough! I had fun writing! I really do enjoy writing hcs for different tf2 ships, and I do love them all. I was exhausted while finishing this so I hope I didn't hit anyone with the mischaracterization ray </3 but yeah! That's the post and I am heading to bed now. Valintines Day post is next !!

————————————————————

[turtleinsoup]

Oh, that makes sense

Draxum isn't worried about Cass or Gale having sex because-well, for one, they don't go anywhere so it's a pretty abstract problem, but also he trusts them to be smart. They might be teenaged dumbasses but they know how to put on a condom

I feel like all of them would technically /know/ how to be responsible (bc Draxum is probably smart enough to have educated them on how to be safe) Leo is just the type who YOLOs through life

(Tho, I feel like technically Donnie would be at high risk of this too? Like)

Donnie: “Good Morning, Father! I created an chemical that makes you hear colors, cough up pink ooze, and get you pregnant with a perfect clone of famous physicist Lisa Meitner! And one of my lab rats even survived! - Yes! YES! They all called my work an affront to nature, but I shall prove now to the world that my genius can create and clone LIVE! AHAHAHA“

Draxum: “Good morning my son, I’m very proud of you but DO NOT DRiNK THIS!“

…

Holy shit, to be honest, I understand now why Draxum would believe the shit on TV, the likelihood of one of his sons accomplishing something is not influenced at all by the laws of its nature

Leo is a gay moron with ADHD and probably horrible taste in men, and Draxum KNOWS that he will get himself pregnant despite it being physically impossible

Lmao omg sobbing fai Draxum is probably getting daily strokes parenting these turtles, they are killing him fai

Leo: “Hi my Fab Fam, my GOATs, when you read this message I headed out to meet the new extremely handsome friend I made! He has a bunch of kids my age who cut him off for some reason, poor guy, right? He is a dork, his music taste is so quirky, and sure he’s a little too invested in cutting the eyes out of pictures of Lou Jitsu in magazines, and making see-through dolls with turtle organs inside, but I can fix him

PS: I found a bunch of Donnie‘s new chemicals, and they looked dangerous so I drank all of them to keep him from having fun without me, xoxo I‘ll be back in a week“

Nfnfkfkdke

I imagine Raph and Mikey aren‘t that much better. It‘s like

Draxum: “SONS. Why is Raphael on television asking the ancient dragon godess of Azathoth for a cage match?!“

Donnie: “He wanted to impress some girl.“

Mikey: “I think the girl was Azathoth.“

Lmao, Mikey might the only one who could actually pull a real date, but I hc him as ace a lot of the time xD

Mikey brings home like, a whole ass Miles Morales, who is his age, smart and calls Draxum “Sir“ when they first meet, Draxum thinks like: “FINALLY. SON-IN-LAW MATERIAL. I CAN WORK WITH THIS.“

And during dinner Draxum is like: “So, Miles. You are a smart young man. Sadly a human. But I‘m sure you will understand that I will have to mutate you before I allow you to have sex with my beloved s-“

The table: “DAD OMG, HUMANS ARE COOL“/“DAD CAN YOU NOT BE RACIST FOR THE 10 MINUTES IT TAKES TO EAT A PASTA“/ “I thought Angelo is asexual.“/ “ITS THE 21TH CENTURY, POPS“

Was watching old SNLs and this one struck a cord in me.

Draxum would absolutely be the parent who ate this shit up. He's usually the one to harp on about media literacy but something about the more modern format and his love for his children overrides all sense and logic in his brain and he just goes straight to panic mode. Leo (because it's always Leo) has 100% gotten in trouble for shit Draxum saw on TV.

Drax: "Aha!"

Leo, sneaking back in after sneaking out: "wha-"

Drax: "I knew it! You were out with that boy, partaking in one of those lipstick parties!"

Leo: "No, I was out with Donnie? We just saw a movie and got candy, it wasn't even rated R."

Drax: "Don't lie to me! I know what you teenagers are all up to! You're grounded! To your room!"

Leo: "We don't even wear lipstick..."

Splinter also falls for these news segments, but in the completely opposite direction where he just doesn't care.

"They're using litter boxes in schools now? Well, that's weird, but they'll grow out of it. No harm done. Look, they're smart boys and I'm pretty sure Purple knows how to get narcan, I'm not worried. They're not doing what I was doing at their age, so for that I'll consider it a win."

[snailfen]

i already know this fact cus this is how the bw2 mom knows the bw1 mom but its still interesting to me nonetheless. i like how they give them a bit of background its cool! wish they did this more often

[moeblob]

Sorry I forgot Hanneman suggested Byleth undress after they show up with a different hair color. And I miss Hanneman. And also while swapping between Houses and Hopes and seeing Hanneman pop up to help in a Hopes paralogue is just devastating since he doesn't ever actually join you at all and I am denied my old man rights.

So I had to draw this. Thank you for understanding.

[asfdhgsdkjhgb]

god is swuarshing me beneath his thumb like i am an aphid or perhaps a clover mite. yeah. its slow and painful and im small. and also meek

[magnusmodig]

||. finally going to bed thinking about lore - keeper asgardians . thinking about how intelligence and wisdom are one of their favored traits. thinking about how thor is the best of every asgardian ideal . thinking about how he is wise . thinking about his street - smarts . thinking about how he is also knowledgeable in legends , lore , and folktale. he is adaptable . he takes this knowledge , adapts to it , and crafts himself into something stronger. he is ever growing , and one of those ways is how he seeks out knowledge , and knows well to keep a sharp mind on the tales told by word of mouth or written on a page.

[grimmjowjaegerjaquez]

when youre trying to live alone out in your field lab but then these two yahoos follow you out there and now they wont leave????

[kiddokori]

things i like about totk so far: the depths,

i am going to be so completely honest i thought id be able to think of more. um. this is awkward

[elegyofthemoon]

😊

[b4kuch1n]

lol that post got super derailed off the bat (nobody’s fault but mine for being smarmy there tbh) but the point stands. before you call any creature with feathered wings I make “angel” please imagine me being very miffed about it and then do as you wish

[phagodyke]

I will say while I've loved most of elden ring I'm really glad I'm down to just 2 more main boss fights (malenia + maliketh) before I start the endgame boss fights... whew 😮‍💨

[spamtoon]

(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)

Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...

Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!

(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)

I know what you are.

Farewell, now!

(She then leaves the way she came from.)

(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)

And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...

(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)

You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?

I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.

(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)

Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way

(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)

Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.

WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.

Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever