#its been over 70 years
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THE WORLD STANDS WITH PALESTINE šµšø
#FREE PALESTINE#!!!!!!#its been over 70 years#and the world is finally waking up#better late than never#proud of everyone for speaking up!! protesting!! sharing on social media!!#proud of people who wont stand for genocide and apartheid#palestine#pro palestine#politics#mine*#gifs*
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i canāt do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I donāt want to do it Iām just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. Iāll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. Iād love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period canāt decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damnā¦.#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally wonāt die. itāll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but Iām still stressing myself about it so my thoughts arenāt really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I donāt really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? itās been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just donāt#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but itās not very fun when it feels like Iām going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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didn't want to put these on my art blog, had nowhere else to really post them. thought i'd share them here, also~
#ooc#art#astycroo#andante#so basically i still think abt them and also i still draw them#if u missed it i reblogged a new blog ive been doing#but its like oc stuff oc stuff#the blog is called tobaiblog if yer interested#got 100 posts already so its got a bit of content u can already scroll through#though... ig u can say maybe 70 posts cuz of the.. 30 posts of customisation .......#anyways#disappears into the aether#youll see me again either when i draw them again OR for the 10 year anni#which is 2025 june btw#yes i had a crisis over it yesterday
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holy moly. just hit 1k. thank you!!
#i didnt prepare anything for 1k honestly#this feels like it happened so quick even though its been over the course of several months#i believe when i came back here i was at around 70? then got to like 200 and then it just went up#800 for the daves i guess. and the few that came here for other stuff#and honestly i dont know what this blogs about now i just wanted to post everything here. and i like the tagging system so if you dont like#something you can mute it i guess? im not big into fnaf rn as theres nothing for me currently. if theres a hw dlc i might hop back in#as well as for any new games coming out#but hw2 was so short lived since the gameplay was out i a day and theres not much to theorize about etc. replayability is fine but#its not something to help me stay. and the movie did nothing for me and im worried i wont like the second either so im just focusing on#the games i guess. but then again no william no interest now. just how it be.. thats why im so whiny about the tse game#lotsa thoughts#on a positive note i luv sam and max now and if theres new stuff for sonic scu over the year i will bring that maybe#as well as sonic x shadow gens but thats a long way to go still#anyway. tldr thanks for following i hope theres something on my blog that will still interest you š«”
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the immortal urge to see if my country has blaze on tumblr, just so i can make more people suffer with the elrond pregnancy post.
#āruthuifin#featuring the unwilling participation in this monstrosity (and threats to our already dying bank account) of orchalon#srsly we already spent 70% of our money on HoME. WE HAD BEEN SAVING UP FOR OVER A YEAR TO BUY STUFF#and cĆ³leblain shews up w/ all 12 volumes of HoME & the confession that he DOES NOT KNOW WHAT VALUE OUR CURRENCY EVEN HAS#this is the real horror movie in having DID#THIS.#id rather have the coffee grounds bath than this ngl#at least that one doesnt result in financial devastation by an elf who failed to be a twink#four months' allowance gone in seconds. just so he could find out where babies come from.#and if marriages can be consummated like if richard iii became a sailor#worst thing is that the reality is WORSE than throwing wine bottles at innocent elves before going sailing. its somehow WORSE#(all rants are courtesy of Orchalon. who has Had Enough Of This Damned System [and family])
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I was telling a friend about Hyde and Jackie and I explained how... season 8 started. And how Hyde was going to propose in season 7 and then he says he isn't ready to get married YET and Jackie is happy because all she needed to know was that it was a possibility for the future and then... A striper walks in and says she married hyde in Vegas. And my friend was like... WHAT? what do you mean?? and I said: girl.. EXACTLY AS YOU HEAR IT. The new writers decided to ruin 3 seasons of an amazing relationship in a second. And that after that Hyde acts like he doesn't care about Jackie and says "well you'll always have kelso" after she breaks up with him. Like it's nothing. LIKE HE WASN'T ABOUT TO PROPOSE. Yep she was just as flabbergasted and outraged as we all were.
#GOD I HATE SEASON 8#IM SO ANGRY#I DONT CARE THAT ITS BEEN ALMOST 20 YEARS SINCE#IM TIRED OF BEING SCREWED OVER BY WRITERS#GET BETTER AT YOUR JOB ASSHOLES#hyde x jackie#steven hyde#jackie burkhart#that 70s show#burkhyde#zenmasters
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and btw im in my hater arc rn. as time goes on the more i find a lot of 'fandom' stuff insufferable (i like art n stuff. just the way that fandom refits every media to fit a single mold and set of boring archetypes is exhausting.)
i just get really easily annoyed lately. and have been unfollowing people on a whim a lot. its not personal i promise
#fandom culture has made me actively dislike shit i was fixated on a year ago. looking at your ninja turtles#its not even like what they were doing were particularly offensive it was just exhaustingly boring#im sorry i just really dont care about ur 2 million fics about leo being a sadboy. or one million seperated aus.#theres definetly a part of the whole situation in general which has been me coming to terms with my own internalized misogny#actively re-examining my tendencys to gravity towards male characters#idk maybe its making me dislike art more. but idk. ive always analyzed why i react certain ways to certain things. this isnt new for me#anywaays. i had been following a bunch of ninja turtle blogs and they sorta kept messing around with shows like ninjago too#and at some point i was just like. i dont know if these shows are actually that good guys. i think youjust like shows for little boys#and fandoms tend to shaft female chars so it sure helps that their casts are 98% male .#maybe theyre not your blorbo maybe theyre just Guy McAverageMan. thats not inherently bad but you have to consider it.#guys rottmnt is isnt even that good . its not that good ok. its alright/pretty good. and the movie does a few neat things#i feel like ive become one of those people that turn 18 and then immediately go 'minors dni'. im not there yet but i just.#we're watching kids shows. its ok . you can say it.#you may have noticed ive been reblogging a lot of dungeon meshi stuff. i read it all over the past week.#but here's the thing. i thought it was mid/good for like 70% of it.#i think its got some really really cool worldbuilding ideas and stuff#but i think a lot of the writing was sorta. uninteresting to me.#my discord friends have been raving over izutsumi for months.#but i found her presence in the story to be weird and underdeveloped. she felt out of place and her introduction felt clumsy#i felt when the story was ramping up the manga got a lot better. because again theres some rlly cool ideas at play#all the shit with the lion? incredible. the way all the infighting led to more problems bc the elves refuse to explain anything? rlly good.#marcille landing in power? reallly good shit. (i still thought it was a lil undercooked still tho)#i cant stop thinking about laios in that climax scene. i think he shouldve been feral a lot more often#uhh. i got distracted. fandom bad and annoying.#saw a post talking about marcille realizing izutsumi is only 17 and then describing how 'omg shes a mom now' and i wanted to throw up#im done. i swear. im done talking for real. aagh#text
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32 hour workweeks and 3 day weekends would fix me.
#40 hours is just too much...#and im supposed to do this for the rest of my life?!#ive only been doing full time employment for 6 months and im over it#previously my weeks were more like... 70 hour weeks btwn my job college and internship#and i got through those years w/ the promise it would be temporary#but now its like... hmm. this is it.#this is what i did 70 hours a week no vacations for all those years to achieve
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if only i was a fly on the supermegaplex wall
now that a day has passed and they still havent said ANYTHING (except mattās tone deaf concert tweet), iām imagining the most insane and chaotic fallout. i hope they rip each other to shreds. theyre literally making the situation worse the longer they wait to say anything but maybe they deserve it. they should go ahead and halt their plans to move into a new and improved supermegaplex because 95% of the patreon is ready to cancel, even patrons who only commented jokes under every post are writing their essays. i feel more disgusted as time goes on and no amount of corporate style tweets will fix this.
#as most people have already said matt is the main offender but ryan dissapointed me too#i might be willing to forgive ryan in the future depending on the response but im currently watching the dingdong and julian vod and#its clear matt is and has been super selfish#all those years they talked about how much they love the fans and blah blah better and new content soon#all that just for the magnum opus to end on the note of truck sim and podcast eps#all the time i spent stanning them and even presenting on them in school#so dissapointed rn#ive been wearing my supermega shirt for days. even before the news and i havent taken it off. idk why#i tell my self its because its comfy but maybe deep down i want to hold onto them#out of all the youtubers i watched i never thought the funny brothers would be like this#ryan was always my favorite so im trying to hold on but if his personality is true.. i feel he wont do much to save himself#im trying not to sound too parasocial but the way he beats himself up and is always self depreciating... he might just give up#all those jokes about him technically being over matt. i really want him to fire matt or something. i think ryan can do it.#although his response where he cares about his bday partyĀ was so.... ugh#supermega#supermegay#i always imagined watching them until they were in their 70s so im super sad to learn theyre like this
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Ive been playing lord of the rings online again for nostalgia reasons. Fairly simple gameplay, a little retro. General community vibe is a bunch of nerds over 50 who probably literally speak elvish and get grumpy if you call it elven. Generally praised for being lovingly tolkein-y.
Which is great! Until the subreddit you go to for guides has several people unprompted doing the 'the amazon show was bad but especially because it featured "Blacks"' and then the next quest you do ingame after seeing that is... an epilogue to the book plotline which is inexplicably a seasonal event everybody is invited to do annually instead of part of the main story which follows the plot of the books and epilogues... which is aragorn and arwen's wedding, played out in full. Which is cute. And the guests and crowd are like, every single major NPC from the main story! Which is cool! Except every single fucking one of them is white. A crowd that exists nowhere good on earth.
And you realise why the subreddit is like that and how everybody's absolutely seeped in this ultra english-1950s fantasy world but at least when it was text you could fill in the gaps yourself because jolkein probably wasn't actively intentionally being a racist and explicitly ensuring every single one of his polite little old fashioned mans was explicitly described as only white. But when the game artists, designing the versions of the minor rolkein characters between the game launch in like 2006 and this wedding scene in like 2013, at every single turn portrayed them as specifically, actively, only, explicitly white... jesus fucking christ you can see why this fostered a community which is happy to rant about "Blacks" uncontested and suddenly the whole thing feels a lot less cozy forever.
Edit: upon inspection the peejack movies were in fact just as bad
#much of the aesthetic is closely based on the peejack films which also had this issue iirc#but even they i dont think were quite so absolutely stunningly shockingly uniform about it?#and again the patches to this game have 20 fucking years on even the films yet alone the 70 since the books#a different company took over in 2016 and i cant speak for what their content has been like bc its all high level#just this wedding quest is reasonably recent yknow#and it feels like devs... either current or former... are courting the absolute worst of the 'hardline' tolkers#which becomes increasingly difficult to defend the further removed it is from an elderly english professor in the 1950s.
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after six years of the game being out and after three and a half years of me actually playing the game i have finally beat botw. did u know finishing video games is. fun,,
#hey its not as bad as norn9 where im only a third in after six years. and rhythm thief took me a genuine decade#im very good at taking my time#MY IMPRESSIONS its a good game :) i think i had a little over 100 hours by the end. one thing about the final boss fight though -#it made me kinda miss like true classic zelda scripted boss fights LOL but lots of fun!#some of the dlc stuff i couldnt do like the champions ballad and the sword thing RIP had to look up the cutscenes later~#theyre tough! but also my playstyle has always been a bit of. just run and go for it#planning and stealth is not my strong suit. by the end i was running directly up to guardians and just killing them before they killed me#i can eat kebabs faster than they can shoot lasers. i am unstoppable#the soundtrack was nice! subdued obvs since its open world#but the standout tracks are really standout. of course i love rito village night ver being dragon roost island#and the hyrule castle theme turning into zeldas lullaby in the internal parts hit me#and of course the main theme is iconic. i like the version with the hard break in the middle the most i love that cut so much#i know people edited it out and in the live version its not as harsh because its live#but i LOVE IT i love it so much. mix of synthetic breaks with a fantastical and traditional sounding theme. awesome#that whole 3 and a half years before i got a copy of the game (i wanted to beat skyward sword first) i didnt look up like anything#didnt pay attention to anything people were saying. heard something about it being open world. heard some speedruns were like an hour#and i heard the theme. and i listened to that theme on repeat for all those years. so so good#now i will probably do that for totk- not knowing anything about it for three years until i finally play it LOL thats how it is so far#people have told me about it. but truthfully i wasnt really listening. sowwy. i was focused on botw orz#but i wanna play something different now. take a break. also wait until i can find someone selling totk used for under 70 cad KJDLJFKDSJDKS#i am NOT paying nearly a hundo for a videoed game nintendo you cant make me#maybe now i should finish all the other games in my backlog. or i could start 5 new ones. hmmmmmmmm
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Can my parents stop acting like I'm "settling" for having a seasonal museum job for five fucking seconds i s2g
#shay speaks#IT IS LITERALLY MY DREAM JOB AND IM NOT MOVING TO VIRGINIA TO DO IT FULL TIME#i will put up with food or retail in the winter and spring just to keep working at the site i worked over the summer#bc i genuinely love it there and want to spend at least a few years there before going somewhere else#one of the guys there literally has been there since the 70s it was his only job out of college#like its entirely viable for me to do that if i want to
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tbt - alice nine - subete e
Iām still in love with everything... Apparently, I just cant hate this world dyed in your colors
happy new year!!
#me posting this song has been waiting a long time but i'm glad i saved it till now#this is actually my favorite alice nine song and is probably my favorite vocal performance from shou#his voice from 2008-2012 really was at its all time best he could really stretch it out in a bowie kind of way and it was gorgeous#i dont know if he damaged his vocal chords over the years. make no mistake he can still really siiing#12 minutes of singing gemini seems impossible but he can still do it no problem it seems#theyre all so cool and hot here i love it lol#this is a real homage to mcr and i say that as a compliment#i think those two bands had some very 70s influences and they wear it on their sleeves when they make anthemic operatic shit#love them both for it#and love saga from alice nine my namesake#happy new year i will be watching the twilight zone marathon w/o my dog and i will be very sad about it#tbt#song rec#j rock#alice nine#a9#visual kei#neo visual kei#new year#shut up kaily#q'd 12/19/2022
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TLDR: i think the issue is that only White Men seem allowed to excise themselves from reality... remind me what did housewives take in the 50s?
"this character is meant to be a self insert for the player to project onto"
> the character is a man
#WHY IS IT ALWAYS WHITE SUPREMACY#IS THIS HOW TRANS PEOPLE FEEL WHEN THEY HEAR āHAHA UR NOT UR GENERDā LIKE#ITS BORING! ITS UNORIGINAL! ITS STALER THAN A FUCKING LUNCHABLE!!!#*ITS BEEN OVER 70 FUCKING YEARS WHY HAVENT THOSE FOSSILOZED FUCKBAGGED FLUZEGABS GOT THE MESSAGE*#*DO WE HAVE TO START DOING THE KENNEDY SPECIAL TO ONE OF THEM A DAY UNTIL THEY STOP???? HUH?????*#sorry im very tired ok#its like every time i think āeverything is goodā the world has a tragedy#like#the fucking *Palestinian Genocide* happened less than a MONTH after i made my tumblr#and that is only one of the very few i remember#...and i fucking hate that every damn time it comes back to me#what the fuck did i even *do.*#*why is my happiness the trigger for the suffering of others*
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I want to be financially irresponsible
#i want to buy a zoro plush#the zoro plush is not cheap#but like#what if i make that my christmas present#its a preorder so i should arrive around christmas#((i have been eyeing this plush for over 2 years i love this plush))#i can push back my zine order for after sales#i did sell a few stuff so i have like 70 dollars i could use and it would be free right??#help#mimi.txt
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#I kind of wish they'd given Armand at least one or two clear positive traits but idk maybe they did he just can't actually be#owned to them because he's built up so much SHIT and doubt around himself and towards Louis and tries it also with Daniel it's like#Impossible to say anything positive isn't also negative by association of how it serves to uplift his negative motivations#But I mean just to throw some out there??#I think he's naturally curious and uh... I think he at least wants to try being better?#But its fails miserably because he's so narcissistic and withholds far too much of his intentions and actions#He views a lot of negative traits as positive ones and positive traits as negative when there in contention with himself#I feel he conflates a bunch of things on terms of whats good behavior and bad behavior because he'd been adapted to it that way#He wants to be better but doesn't actually commit to it.#Thats sort of the unfixed sense of self coming in#Armands opinions on things have clearly changed to be diametrically different to what they were 70 years ago#But he also severely avoids owning up to all negative things about himself.#I think one positive trait is that he can regret his actions? He can self reflect.#but I don't think he self reflects enough to see the truth behind his actions or what future actions could have in consequence#Guilts good because then it's not a total lack of empathy there. But he displays it in such a guilt trippy way it becomes negative.#A lot of things about Armand are just like that actually.#His most natural impulse is to simply destroy everything but he loses that impulse if he can love care or wield control over that#I feel he recognizes he cant let such impulses run rampant but then he's just sitting on a mountain of repression to make his self image#appear better than the very very dark shit that's him underneath#These two things can't... integrate properly.#Partly because he's always in the wrong envoirment for it because he can't obtain this through gaining it out of other people actually#I think its disingenuous to say he's in total awareness of his actions as bad and that he's doing all of this to be intentionally harmful.#Even if he is at fault and consequence for them#and like unless there's an outright lie I think a lot of the things he says are things he genuinely believes but they just come into#so much contention with others and their safety and values etc.#But he could just as easily be orchestrating all of this with full awareness and intention. So it's really an interpretational thing.#Most of this is like ... not talking about his positive traits lol. They're there he's just too much of an asshole to get to have them.#Like if I were to place a disorder on him it'd be histrionic narcissist.
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