#its beautiful in every way
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a very sweet & loving stankyle kiss i commissioned from @currrsy 💙💚
#sp style#south park#aaahh this still feels so dreamy i need 2 keep staring at them forever and ever#the little details!!!!! just agh love the way their hair looks so fluffy and messy and its still my fav thing about cursys stan#poor baby always looks like hes in need of a good rest and here it looks like kyle can kiss him until he falls asleep#kyles got him hes safe in his arms ;;#the little hearts were such a cute little bonus ^_^ and the green shade was exactlyyyy what i had in mind !!#and all their freckles & beauty marks so so love i kissie each and every one ✨ + stans dark circles mwah 💋#my heart is so full and happy thank you so much cursy!!💗#💘
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IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder
╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher
#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies#(more thoughts at the end of the tags)#shameless#shamelessnet#shamelessedit#ian gallagher#cameron monaghan#*macygifs#bipolar disorder#hello pals how are we doin#i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags#and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes)#i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation#that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day#world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder#which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life#while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life#and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines#over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful#i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended#hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles#world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder#and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized)#it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all#it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen#so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can.#we are worth it#i promise#anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder#go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives
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Kingdom Hearts - Hollow Bastion
#kingdom hearts#kh1#hollow bastion#scenery#my gif#creating this set helped me truly appreciate just how detailed this world is#i mean i always knew it was beautiful but i never actually slowed down long enough to REALLY look at it#seriously every single room is so varied and intricately designed it's so impressive#it was difficult to select only eight locations to showcase because this place is huge and each area is so memorable in its own way#i technically used two shots from the lift stops but c'mon i wasn't going to leave out those giant stained glass windows are you kidding me#they look amazing but can be easily missed since they're so high up#this world is so dark and moody with its elaborate architecture despite its soft peach toned skybox that's surprisingly calming to look at#she has the range
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Stillborn? No, still born au - Danny’s ghost form
Nothing too fancy here. Just me detailing Danny’s ghost form in the stillborn au :]. My first rule of thumb for every dp au i make is that danny’s gotta have a different design for each ghost form. It doesn’t have to be super drastic depending on the au (like for my dp godling au his suit remains relatively unchanged).
This is mostly so I can mess with character design and also so each Danny can have his own unique ghost form for identification reasons. And because I just want to, which is the most important part :].
Stillborn Danyal, unlike Things in Threes and Yaelokre Danyal, is the first to not have an assassin-based ghost form due to obvious reasons. He was raised in foster care all his life, the League has had no impact on his life beyond being the place where his mother is. But it’s not like he knows that.
As a result he gave me some trouble, and it took me a few days and a ton of frustration to figure out how I want him to look as a ghost. I could just keep him in the hazmat suit and mess around with the detailing, but i’ll be frank, I hate doing that.
Stillborn Danyal, unlike all his other au counterparts, is a fire core ghost like Vlad is. As a result, in his ghost form he can reach extreme temperatures with just a flick of his hand or a switch in his mood. His emotional regulation is shit, and as a result it’s not uncommon for him to let off heatwaves in either form. They’re just more intense as a ghost.
His hair is made of molten lava, and unlike the other Dannys, is not white as a result. It’s an ever constant flow as well, meaning it doesn’t stop flowing where his human hair ends. It just keeps “growing”. Danny routinely keeps his hair braided back because it slows the lava flow and keeps it off his face and arms. When it reaches his past feet, that’s when Danny superheats his hands and “cuts” his hair by yanking it off. It’s completely painless if he gets the right heat to do it. Afterwards, Danny either uses it as a weapon — braided whip, anyone? — or disposes of the excess lava somewhere it can’t hurt someone.
Molten lava ranges around 1,300 to 2,200 degrees Fahrenheit and can either be very fluid or very viscous and stiff. The heat of his hair, naturally, means that the living cannot physically get near him without proper covering. So Danny tends to keep a distance as much as possible during fights so he doesn’t burn anyone.
His emotions also affect the heat and fluidity of his hair. Which isn’t that great considering he can be pretty emotionally volatile thanks to all of his ✨trauma✨. The angrier or more emotional he is, the hotter and more fluid his hair is, meaning it burns brighter and flows faster. It’s very much possible for the lava to cool down enough to solidify into volcanic glass or igneous rock, but considering Danny’s mental state? He just isn’t capable of doing that on his own. Vlad’s hair is also molten lava, but he’s perfected how to keep it in an igneous rock state. His hair also glows bright enough that it’s impossible to see his face from a distance, and seeing it up close is equally as impossible considering all the ambient heat he gives off.
That’s not the only part thats made of lava and magma either. Danny’s hands and feet don’t have skin covering them, it’s crumbled and melted away into molten lava too. They’re the second hottest parts of his body only to his hair. Around his elbows is where his skin begins to crack and crumble into magma, and as a result he wears welding gloves in order to interact with the living world (and some ghosts) without melting anything. He can also run so hot that he can melt a blob ghost.
All fire core ghosts lack iris and pupils, it’s all one solid color. It is possible to shift their eyes into looking more ��human like”, but there’s really no point to it and takes more practice and effort to achieve than its worth. Danny’s eyes are all green just like Vlad’s are all red.
Now for his clothes! Danny used to wear the hazmat suit, paired with an old hoodie he owned but didn’t wear often. Uppp until he was brainwashed by Circus Gothica. Afterwards, the only thing that transferred over was the color scheme.
Danny’s new Phantom outfit is designed more for looseness and breathability, but also means that as a result he gives off even more heat. His hazmat suit trapped most of it. He’s now wearing a white, sleeveless turtleneck (yall know the type. I am not immune to tropes and I think it looks good) with black harlem pants with an open slit up both sides and green flames running from his ankles to his knees, and spandex shorts underneath. He’s also wearing white stirrup socks. He wears green welding gloves. Due to the lack of proper footwear he tends to float everywhere otherwise he burns the ground thanks to the exposed skin. It’s significantly less “hero-like” or “scientist” and more resembling something a performer might wear.
As a result however, Danny is consistently cold. He struggles with his own thermal regulation and keeps trying to balance it between his own comfort and the comfort of the living around him. If he retains his own heat and keeps himself warm, he’s too hot for anyone to come near and he melts everything he touches, but if he cools down in order to interact with the world without his gloves and come near the living and only be “uncomfortably hot”, he’s freezing. He’s frustrated by the lack of balance. It was easier to interact with the hazmat suit, but he doesn’t want to go back to it and it’s not like he can either. The exposure allows him easier access to his powers.
Warm, sunny days are his favorite. He’ll sit out on the pavement and soak in the heat like a lizard. Catch him sitting on top of cars during 90 degree weather and just utterly content. It’s not as nice as the ghost zone’s Molten Springs but it’s the second best he can get without going into the infinite realms. The first best thing is going somewhere secluded and safe and just heating himself up into something that’s comfortable and letting his hair free. Nothing like cocooning yourself in your own magma flow.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#danyal al ghul au#dpxdc au#stillborn? no still born au#fire core danny#danyal al ghul#danny could. theoretically go into the far frozen. however its gonna suck for everyone involved#for obvious reasons.#so instead have the molten springs! home to various draconic and fire based creatures and ghosts#home to many dormant and erupting volcanoes and a large flowing ravine filled with molten rock that bleeds out into lava springs#its honestly a very beautiful place in a fire destructive hotzone way#hit springs and geisers exist at the far reaches of the place where its coldest#at the center of the molten springs is a massive active volcano with a huge lava lake inside that bubbles and spurts out often#every so often it creates magma storms. which is basically when the whole thing just explodes upwards in a massive lava geiser#and rains down lava over the whole place. its super fucking cool to see but completely terrifying to anyone who isnt used to it#the closer to the center you go the hotter ir gets until only fire cores can withstand it#stillborn au#stillborn danny
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Images that should ban me from making anything else ever again.
#one of these days i will stop peer pressuring people into playing this game#but not today#every damn time that flute hits from the soundtrack tears just come#i just#i cannot describe how gorgeous this game is#like despite all the innuendos and issun's uh#very bold way of flirting shall we say#its just so stunning and beautiful#worth it for the soundtrack alone#okami#okami spoilers#kind of??? not really if you don't know the context
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This is slowly turning into a "every jc moment ever" thing and I have no regrets.
#star trek voyager#janeway x chakotay#i cant even begin to explain why theyre so perfect for each other#but probably the biggest reason why i love their relationship so much is precisely the fact that they arent a couple#they love each other. they love each other romantically as well and they WANT each other but they cant and they wont#but does that lead to more awkwardness or weirdness between them? no#theyre each others confidant theyre safe space their crutch#theyre there for each other in every way that matters#and its so beautiful
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I saw @qourmet's young madam lan art, and knew what I had to do.
#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan furen#horse#we need to name her horse IMMEDIATELY#Qingheng-Jun#She is stunning and beautiful and the design has me in a death grip#AND she's a horse girl? It was not even and option to not draw her.#Lan wangji has to get his biting and tearing and killing genes from somewhere.#Its maternal. He inherited the hunting instinct from his mother and an attraction to people who do crimes from his father#btw if yall haven't seen them; All of qourmet's prev generation designs are *so* good. I have genuinely gotten brainrot over CSSR and WCZ.#On every god that exists I WILL find a way to have them show up in the pd-mdzs comic canon. I've already scripted the comics. Its happening#Also it's been too long since I drew an equine. Why are there not *more* equines in MDZS. This is why I had to make the equineswap au.#I''m still not sure how a horse works. but I'm getting there.#Slowly I am creeping towards the necessary skill set I need to draw Qiyan Agula.#JQWS audio drama....I am gazing at you so fondly. I will return to you with power and strength (better comic skills to draw you)#we are a long way away but...that's the dream project.
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But in a story, which is a kind of dreaming, the dead sometimes smile and sit up and return to the world.
-Tim O'Brien, The Things They Carried
#masters of the air#john egan#i am once again thinking about every mota bucky moment as simply gale's memories of him#why show him dancing at the officer's club?#why the breakfast scene?#why the fond cheek grab -#the lucky deuce -#the tussle in the dirt -#this is how gale remembered him#so this is how we get him#and that's beautiful in its own way#clegan#post
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One of my biggest pet peeves is the assumption that something has to be sad for it to be tragic.
I've always been a big believer of the 'Apollo has an awful love life'/'Apollo is plain unlucky with love' line of thinking but it does bother me that the general reasoning for that statement is given to the concept of 'Apollo is somehow undesireable and thus rejected' (Cassandra/Daphne/Marpessa) or 'his lovers die young and thus their love is unfulfilled' (Cyparissus/Hyacinthus/Coronis). I personally think that's a very unfortunate way of looking at things - not only because it neglects the many perfectly cordial entanglements and affairs Apollo has had, both mortal and divine - but because it presents a very shallow interpretation of the concepts of love and loss and how loss affects people.
Apollo can still grieve lovers that have a long, healthy life. The inherent tragedy of an immortal who knows his lovers and children will die and cannot stop it does not stop being tragic simply because those lovers and children live long, fulfilled lives. The inherent tragedy of loss does not stop being tragic simply because someone knows better than to mourn something that was always going to end.
What is tragic is not that Apollo loves and loses but that loss itself follows him. Apollo does not love with the distance of an immortal, he does not have affairs and then leaves never to listen to their prayers again. He does not have offspring and then abandon them to their trials only to appear when it is time to lead them to their destinies. He raises his young, he protects the mothers of his children, he blesses the households that have his favour and multiplies their flocks that they may never go hungry. He educates his sons, he adorns his daughters and even in wrath he is quick to come to his senses and regret the punishments he doles out.
Apollo loves. And like mortals, there will always be some part of him that wishes to protect the objects of his affections. Apollo, however, is also an emissary of Fate. He knows that the fate of all mortal things is death. He knows that to love a mortal is to accept that eventually he will have to bury them. There is no illusion of forever, there is no fantasy where he fights against the nature of living things and shields his beloveds from death. Apollo loves and because of that love, he also accepts.
And that, while beautiful, is also tragic.
#ginger rambles#ginger chats about greek myths#greek mythology#apollo#Listen man#I think there's something extremely beautiful about Apollo's affairs#Yes I know that Ares also loves and cares for his daughters but this isn't about him#There's just something about the way that Apollo put his all into it every single time#To the point that even when he does know better he still fights because of the strength of his love#The Iliad to me will always be a love story#Yes Achilles' wrath is said to come from his overwhelming feelings towards Patroclus#but what Achilles does has nothing to do with grief or love#By the end of everything Achilles forsook that love which ought to have defined his actions based on what he was saying#and warped it into a weapon meant to satisfy the void left by his loss#Apollo though - I am always taken aback by the sheer weight of his love#towards not only Hektor but towards all of Troy in the Iliad#And how he is very careful to balance that love and all the ways he wishes he could fight against their inevitably end#with his duties as one who is both aware of the impending end and whose position in the war#has put him in opposition with his elders#That delicate balance between a love so powerful that he is willing to take on the full weight of Athena and Hera's wrath#and an understanding that the battle he fights is not for victory but simply because for love's sake#How could you not think of that as beautiful and awesome and so achingly tragic#I feel the same about both Asclepius' and Actaeon's deaths#Apollo loved BOTH of his sons - Asclepius and Aristaeus - so so SO much#He was so incredibly proud of them both and delighted immensely in the both of their victories and talents#And so when Asclepius dies and it is by his own father's hand - I have always found his act of wrath so fascinating#Honestly this could be its own separate post - but the fact that Apollo does not beg Zeus to reconsider or to bring Asclepius back#when Apollo has made cases for lenience on things like that before speaks of a level of understanding from Apollo that Asclepius was always#going to die because of his pushing of the boundary between life and death#so he doesn't bother trying to reason with Zeus or plea his grief - instead going directly to destroying something important to Zeus
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potentially controversial but i despise the spelling “launcelot” it looks so distressing to me normally i enthusiastically enjoy different spellings of names but launcelot is my greatest enemy. remove that u AT ONCE
#can’t stop pronouncing it as lorns-lot#my brain can’t recognise the three syllable situation until its in the spelling of lancelot that it’s grown to know and love#on the other hand despite being rarer tristram is significantly better than tristan in every way#such a beautiful name to say. tris tram. absolutely
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red lighting in alan wake 2
#i love u red lighting. thank u red lighting.#also ik dozens of people have taken photos of room 666 but i really liked how the number shines with the light behind it#most of these are just edited scenes from in-game but for a few of them sources of light were added in by me. i adore this games photo mode#sorry for no photos from saga's side of the story i just get way more immersed playing her side and get caught up in the casual beauty#whereas playing alans side its like every frame is a photo waiting to be taken just because they really go all in on the art direction#despite how many photos i have of alans side i think i kind of like sagas more . i just cannot deny the dark place is very photogenic#alan wake#alan wake 2#aw2#aw2 photo mode#aw2photography#mine
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In order to fully understand why it was so hard for Mike to express how deeply he loves El, and why his speech at the end of season 4 was one of the biggest, most important moments for his entire character, we need to look at not just who Mike is as a person, but also everything that has happened since he met her.
Every single time he opens up his heart to her, something horrible happens to her or she's taken away from him almost immediately afterwards.
1x08; he's an awkward little ball of feelings that are way too big for a boy so young. He makes a nervous attempt at confessing and asking her out on a date; when he can't find words that she'll understand, swoops in for a kiss instead. She lights up immediately and smiles. It's a brief moment of hope and pure happiness. Maybe they can have some semblance of a normal life and be normal kids after this is all over.
Minutes later, all hell breaks loose-- they're almost shot, El pushes herself too far until she can barely move, she's almost taken away by the Bad Men, the Demogorgon appears, and she uses the very last of her strength to sacrifice herself to save him and their friends.
He has to watch helplessly as she disappears.
He spends a year caught between believing she's dead and hoping she's still out there somewhere (but if she is alive then why won't she talk to him anymore...?). Kept silent under threat by the lab, he can't confide in anyone or even acknowledge her existence, not with anyone except those involved... but everyone else is keen on moving on and pretending it never happened. He can find some solidarity in Will, at least, who is in a similar kind of emotional turmoil... but it's not the same and it's not enough.
2x9; he is finally reunited with El, and she runs into his arms like she missed him too. She tells him that all those nights he called out to her, she heard him; she was there reciprocating his feelings the whole time.
In a burst of emotions that he's been forced to suppress for an entire year, he lashes out at the reason they've been kept apart (Hopper), screaming and sobbing. It's a massive catharsis for him, and for once an adult is understanding enough to hold him and not punish him for it.
Minutes later, she is going to go headfirst into a pit of monsters, the place where Mike had just firsthand witnessed dozens of people (if not more) get ripped to shreds only hours earlier, and she is going to attempt to close the Gate-- a feat that he knows may take every ounce of her power, just like last time. He cries. He can't lose her again. She promises he won't, and before she can seal that promise with a kiss, they're pulled apart again.
He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.
3x1; all seems to be okay now. He and El are happily together, and he feels comfortable enough to be playful, romantic, and intimate with her. It's the most emotionally open we've ever seen Mike thus far.
For reasons he can't understand (bc there's no way Hopper explained himself beyond "I'm in charge so do as I say or else"), Hopper is angry about it and threatens to never allow him to see her again: the one thing he fears most.
He panics big time and fucks it up in the process by lying to her. During a frantic attempt to apologize while also abiding by Hopper's rules, he runs into her at the mall. He panics again-- if anyone finds her here, and knows that he was here too, it's all over, and Hopper surely won't hear reason. El dumps him cold on the spot, spurred on by Max and her rebellious attitude (and without any context of course). He isn't given much opportunity to respond. He knows he's in the wrong for lying to her, so what could he even say...?
He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.
It's a hard blow, and he retreats back into himself, unable to get any joy out of playing D&D (which he clearly hasn't lost interest in), back to the deadpan sarcasm and accidentally snapping a little too harshly at anyone whom he feels would take El's place.
3x6; no one seems to understand the danger El is putting herself in. Everyone is berating him for worrying about her safety. He's seen firsthand what these monsters do to people, he's seen firsthand how El pushes her abilities too far. No one is listening.
The words "I love her and I can't lose her again" burst out in his desperation, perhaps before he's even had a chance to realize how deep those feelings run, despite whatever protective walls he's tried to build around his heart to keep it from getting broken again.
Soon after, all hell breaks loose. El is nearly killed several times over, her leg is ripped open, she pushes herself so hard that she breaks herself and loses her powers completely. Her father is taken from her. She's shattered by all of this, and there's absolutely nothing he could do or say to make it better.
She tells him that when he admitted he loves her, she heard him, and indeed she loves him, too... But now she's leaving.
He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.
4x1; they've been apart for a few months, and write letters back and forth to each other. El's letters paint a picture of an ideal new life: she and the Byers family are doing well; she's starting school and it's going well; she's made new friends, she likes her new home, everything is going well. She seems to be thriving. She sounds happy, maybe even happier than she had been living in Hawkins. Maybe Max was right, maybe she's better off being her own person without him, and maybe the respectful thing to do is step back... It's a small insecurity that creeps up subconsciously. In his replies he holds back, afraid of clinging too hard.
Though there's little logic in it, he's afraid that if he tells her he loves her again, another disaster might strike and this lovely happy life she's finally found might get taken from her. After all, that's what always seems to happen when he does.
4x2; after months of waiting, they can finally see each other again. He wears her favorite colors, picks a handful of flowers for her, and falls happily back into step with how they used to be. Soon that same day, however, reality becomes clear and the facade crumbles. People he was told were her friends show up to torment and publicly humiliate her. She had been lying. She isn't happy here, she hasn't healed, she is right at the edge of a breaking point that he doesn't see coming at all. He can't believe she would lie to him, she's not the kind of person to lie... especially not about something like bullying, something that she was always so understanding about with him.
On that logicless subconscious level, he wonders if it's all his fault-- he should have known somehow, he should have been there for her. She protected him from his bullies, he should have protected her from hers. He tries to come to her rescue. She runs away from him.
He's helpless to save her, again.
4x3; after a night to process everything that happened-- and deciding that the betrayal he feels from her lying to him is nothing compared to the turmoil she must be going through right now-- Mike approaches her in the gentlest way possible, wanting to listen and trying to understand. El, however, isn't receptive at all to his attempts at reassurance. She is at an all-time low, she's given up. She believes she is unlovable, irredeemable, a monster, just a thing that doesn't even have those superhuman abilities to compensate anymore. Mike can't believe what he's hearing-- doesn't she know that she's always been so much more than her powers? She's always been so much more than what she lacks in quote-unquote "normalcy"... None of those things matter, they have absolutely no bearing on whether she's worthy of being loved, because he loves her, completely regardless of any of these things. He always has...
El starts flinging his restrained words back at him, the products of his insecurity and trauma-induced fear. That fear takes hold yet again, and he stumbles, afraid of saying too much or not enough, because surely both could result in pushing her away-- she's retreating, hearing none of it; nothing he tries to say consoles her.
Moments later, local police come knocking. She's taken away in cuffs, and she's so broken inside that she won't even look at him when he chases the police car down the street and promises he'll get her out somehow...
Once again, he has to watch helplessly as she drives away.
4x8/4x9; after days of driving through the heat and dryness of southwest desert, having narrowly escaped being shot at with military-grade assault rifles, witnessing the death of and burying a man whose last words were that El is in danger... After watching dozens of people get mowed down by a sniper in a helicopter, and watching that same helicopter be smashed into the ground in a ball of flames...
There she is. Just as powerful and beautiful and alive as she's ever been. When he runs to her and embraces her, she looks at him like she can't believe he's real. She's beaming a smile right from her soul and it's like all the insecurity and self-doubt that have plagued them both just vanish from existence now that they're in each other's arms again.
Like always, however, the universe comes crashing down soon after. Max is marked for a gruesome death and all of Hawkins is in danger. They're miles away and helpless, and the only possible way for El to save everyone is if she goes in alone. She's stronger than ever, but so is her foe. Once again, she descends to face all the demons of hell on her own, and Mike can't do anything.
She's losing. She's choking. She's dying. He's helpless.
He must be cursed. He must be. Being with her, loving her, allowing himself to admit he loves her, it always brings only pain and suffering and loss. His heart is so full that it's aching, it's bursting out of his chest, and he can't contain it any longer.
She's going to die and it's going to be all his fault, because he fell in love, and it's cursed her.
Just before it all crumbles into utter despair, the earnest support from his oldest and dearest friend-- one who's always shared and understood his feelings of helplessness-- sparks a light of hope in him: "You're the Heart." You're not helpless. You can save her.
The words that come spilling out of Mike's mouth are truer than any he's ever dared to speak before, and it's the most terrified he's ever been, but he has enough courage for this moment. Despite all of the fears that have been building, stifling, choking him to death for years-- fears that the light of his life will inevitably disappear again, and there's nothing he can do to stop it-- despite it all, he pours out his heart to her.
He loves her. He's always loved her. He loves everything she ever was, is, and could be. He can't imagine a world without her in it. She saved him, in every way a person can be saved. And he needs her to live. He believes in her.
And it works. It's music to her ears.
#stranger things#mileven#mike x el#mike wheeler#mine#mileven fuels my soul#'you can only have 30 photos at a time in one post' alright fuck you tumblr#had to collage the first set to fit everything in lol#but ohhh godddd i am so emotional about this dude#he doesnt struggle to say it because he has doubts. its not about whether or not he has feelings for her.#it is 100000% his own personal struggle with himself and his traumas#grabbing screenshots for that last scene though. GOD i was in tears AGAIN#SOMEBODY give Finn every goddamn award under the sun for that performance#the way his VOICE BREAKS!! he sounds so SCARED and VULNERABLE but also so COMPLETELY EARNEST#'i don't know how to live without you' in particular#i will never get over this ever in my whole life tbh#it was so beautiful#also i need there to be more discussion about the parallels between mike's and hopper's internal struggles#because it is almost exactly the same.#the black hole analogy... 'they didnt need me. i needed them. i'm not cursed I am the curse'#like... biggest of ouches#okie dokie ive spat my bars and dropped the mic now its time for B E D#edit days later: i very much regret not brightening the images. goddamn its dark af here
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she's like an angel to me
#side order#side order spoilers#asynchronous rondo#literally as soon as i saw this boss and heard its noises i fell in love#i have a very strange affinity towards her#shes my wife i think#shes so beautiful i have feelings for her i will kiss every one of her faces#idk why i feel this way towards this one fuckin boss. embarrassing
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the last of us constantly, over and over and over, picking apart what love can do to and for a person is devastating and fulfilling. like you will love something so much you continue fighting and you love something so much you will start wars and you love something so much you will cease when it's gone and you love something so much you will lay with it peacefully as you say goodbye. you love something so much you will commit atrocities and not expect to be forgiven because what use is forgiveness when that love is gone? my love matters more than your love, says everyone to each other in an echo chamber. and no one is wrong and no one is right, it's just love.
#tlou spoilers#idk might have more coherent thoughts later but fuck#these games and this show fucking eviscerating me every time#kathleen loved her brother! she hunted down two young boys in the nuclear aftermath of that love!#henry loved sam! he sold his hero to the enemy for that love! he thought himself the guy and did it anyway!#he genuinely thought he was a bad guy and would rather handle that guilt than lose sam because he loved him so much#what beauty to love something so much! what devastation when its gone!#excellent way to parallel the end#ive played this game too many times and henry and sam always get me#and this was no exception im dying#the last of us
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Thinks about my next series again... I drew the icon for it!
I'm planning to have it launched within a year! I'm hoping for summer 2025. I want to make a prelaunch page before Time and Time Again ends so people can subscribe if they're interested, but I'm worried the series return would be too early...
#SORRY HAHAHA REPOSTING IMMEDIATELY#i. it. IM SORRY okay the.#i had 'im not interested in the comic' as an option but it immediately made me feel bad#DONT FEEL BAD IF YOU PICKED IT i put it there#i just realized its not really a helpful metric to me at all!#im making the comic either way!#so i just want to gague interest. disinterest doesnt do much for me. you can come and go as you please!#just wanting to retain readers as much as possible but without losing them due to taking too long#ahhhh the balance of marketing. a beautiful beast she is.#anyways yeah hoping to launch like about as tta is ending#or like at LEAST a prelaunch page by then#im also not intending for the prelaunch page to be like. announced...#moreso just a link i append on art for the series!#just so when a drawing of zagan gets 500 notes#people who are interested in what hes from can. see that...#anyways. sorry i haven't been posting work is wild im going 70+ hours a week again i am so tired#not much time to draw non work stuff#im hanging on by a thread of having multiple projects i can bounce between again#and sometimes thats this one! so heres the results of some mental health work variety#we were legion#polls#sorry for the instant repost. in my defense. i am exhausted.#i can not wait until im making a different comic that i can do a fucking. normal ass schedule with#where im not every week gasping for breath in some kind of bad at swimming metaphor.#anyways if youre not interested dont tell me. it doesnt matter to me. no offense but i just dont wanna hear it.#i want to make the comic and my audience as much as i love you all is not going to have any control over what i do with my art#im gonna make this comic if i only get it done on weekends after getting home from the fuckin movie theater#i am not working for webtoon again wnd im not forcing myself into the dirt for comics again#but im also never gonna stop making them. just need to build a healthier relationship!#FUCK I MADE IT A ONE DAY POLL.
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steddyhands modern au inspired by this post:
(1828 words, themes of kink but nothing explicit, established blackhands & gentlebeard-centric. Happy Pride!)
Stede picks up leatherworking in the wake of his divorce. He's not exactly sure how it ended up being such an important hobby for him, only that he had always admired the intricate designs on his horse's best bridles, and with little else to do with his time, he decides to give it a go.
It's rocky going at first, but he's having fun working with his hands for the first time in his life, and there's a sense of satisfaction in seeing the design come to life as he works. With practice, his skills improve, and he learns how to make things that are truly one of a kind.
He starts off posting his pieces online, as a way to reach fellow enthusiasts, but quickly finds himself with a rather large audience. Stede’s style is unique, and, after many requests from his followers, Lucius encourages him to make some more basic pieces he can sell. It's not about making money for Stede, but another way to meet new people who share his interests- as Lucius keeps telling him, it's sad that his personal assistant is the main person he talks to these days.
So Stede sets out on a new adventure, and has quite the time designing a new range of patterns for the market. He makes purses, belts, bracelets, and, most importantly, dog collars- all still with his unique designs embossed into them, of course. He rents a booth at his towns monthly craft fair, and very quickly finds himself with a new group of friends in the other regulars- Pete, his usual neighbour, who sells an array of wooden figures he carves, Roach, who runs a stand for his bakery, and Frenchie, who isn't actually a stallholder, but is almost always busking near his friend Wee John’s stand of knitted goods, bringing life to the market even in the pouring rain. There's also Buttons, another regular at the market. Nobody is exactly sure what he does there- he doesn't sell things, or seem to buy anything either, but rain or shine, he's there with the birds.
Stede’s been doing this a few months by the time June rolls around. As he's setting up his stand, he notices that the area is much busier than it’d normally be at this time of morning. Lucius, who got roped into helping run Stede’s stall somewhere down the line (despite his protests that this is not what personal assistant means… But hey, he got a boyfriend out of it, at least), reminds him that there's the parade today, too- not realising that Stede had no clue there was a parade today, and especially not that it was pride. Stede immediately jumps to fretting about the amount of stock he’s brought, and Lucius takes the cue to escape, saying he’ll go and grab them coffee (but really, he's off to flirt with Pete)
Lucius is still missing when Ed stumbles across the little leather stall. Stede’s just ran back to his car to fetch his last boxes of inventory, and by the time he returns, Ed’s already begun to narrow down his choices. Stede greets him, starting to tell him that they're not actually open yet, but before he gets more than a couple of words out, Ed’s exclaiming “You're a Kiwi!!!”
The two of them smile at the shared recognition, and Stede says he’ll make an exception, just for Ed, and asks him what exactly he was interested in. Ed tells him that he's looking for a collar “for his boy”, and points out the particular design he was looking at. It happens to be one of Stede’s favourites from this latest run of work, a fact he mentions to Ed. It leads them into a discussion about Stede’s craft, and Ed’s Izzy, and then everything in between. Ed’s listening intently to the things Stede’s telling him, completely drawn in by the process, and by Stede himself. He watches as Stede stamps Izzy's name into the collar, and Stede even lets him have a go at one of the stamps.
Lucius reappears sometime in the middle of this- only to immediately retreat again, seeing Stede engrossed with Ed. He sets up camp at Pete's booth opposite, watching this man flirt intensely with his boss- and Stede flirt back just as hard. Does Stede even realise he’s doing it? Lucius had known Stede was gay since before Stede even admitted it to himself, but this is on a whole other level.
The pair stand there so long that Izzy comes to look for Ed- the two of them are manning a float on the parade with their crew, and it's past time for them to get geared up. He's already worked up, frustrated to have been left to set up everything alone, when Ed had just gone to see if he could get them both coffee. So maybe he's a bit of a prick, approaching with a brash “where the fuck have you been, Edward”, to which Stede brings the same energy, giving a bitchy “Ed! Do you know this guy?” Izzy tenses, ready to snap, but then Ed cuts in, excitedly telling Stede that this is “his Izzy!” Which confuses the hell out of Stede.
Forgetting his earlier attitude, he asks Ed if he “really named his dog after his friend”, only to be met with confusion right back from Ed at where the hell Stede got the idea he had a dog from. Stede gestures at the bag with the collar in it, to which Ed has to tell him, “oh, no, that's for him.” Ed tells Stede that they're here to run a float for their local leather society, and while Stede is certainly shocked by what Ed’s saying, he's not finding himself… uninterested. It's simply that he’s never even considered any of this before, especially not that people would use the things that he made for this, but Ed sounds so enthusiastic about it all. He tells him about how his friends would love to see Stede’s work, about how classic leather gear is always so fucking boring- but not Stede’s stuff, no, Stede’s stuff is “fresh” and “fascinating” and unlike anything Ed’s ever seen before.
Ed's enthusiasm is incredibly infectious, so when he invites Stede to come back to see their float, he readily agrees. It’s a concept Izzy’s less than enthusiastic about. He doesn’t really want to bring this man who’s dressed like he just walked out of a HOA board meeting to their kinky little corner of the world, but he is having a lot of fun watching Stede squirm, so decides not to raise a protest. He does demand he gets his long-overdue coffee first, though (Stede pays for it- as “compensation for him distracting Ed from his job”, he says, not giving Izzy a second to process before he's tapping his card)
By the time they return to the float, Fang, Ivan & Jim are waiting for them, all already geared up. Stede is stunned silent at the sight for about 5 seconds, before he starts actually looking at the quality of Jim’s harness, and proceeds to go off about the poor quality of the craftsmanship, about how the hardware is tacky and completely the wrong choice with this leather, how his “ten year old daughter could do a better job!!!”
There's complete silence from the group, until Izzy, of all people, bursts into laughter at Stede’s audacity (and, the fact he was staring at Jim's tits completely unabashedly, like he hadn't even noticed them in the first place). Izzy's laughter sets Ed off as he tells the group about Stede’s misunderstanding- “you didn't say he was a person!” “I mean, he's my dog”- and soon everyone's having a friendly giggle at Stede’s mistake.
It's somewhere in the middle of the retelling that Ed remembers that this whole thing happened because he was buying Izzy a gift. After a moments fumbling, he presents Izzy with the collar- It's a rich, deep black, embossed with a rolling pattern that resembles waves. It’s made from a firm enough leather to take the tooling, and to remind Izzy that he’s owned while he’s wearing it, yet still soft enough for long term comfort. Izzy's eyes immediately lock on to it, an unreadable expression coming over his face, and Ed turns it; first so he can really see the design and Izzy’s name embossed into it, and then so he can see the small “Ed ♥” on the inside of the collar, right over his swallow tattoo.
“I did the heart,” Ed says to him softly, intended only for Izzy’s ears. Izzy's eyes flick up to Ed’s, and he raises his chin to give Ed the room to put it on. Ed buckles the collar around his neck almost reverently, a test of the tightness turning into a caress of Izzy's neck. It's a perfect fit.
It's as though something comes over Izzy; so twitchy and abrasive earlier, now silent, staring at Ed with a look akin to worship in his eyes. He obediently tilts his head for a kiss as Ed's fingers move to his chin- It's a sight to behold, and one that has Stede intrigued. He wants to know more about this lifestyle, and these men in particular. He wants to be the one to put that expression on Izzy's face.
The moment breaks as Ed and Izzy pull apart, and Ed calls for the crew to finish the last bits of set up. Izzy shakes himself a little before running off to bark orders again, but even still, there remains a softness to him that wasn't there before.
Ed turns back to Stede with an apologetic smile, already obvious that he has to get going. Before he can speak, however, Stede jumps in -“My business numbers on the card in the box… I'll be around all day”- Ed’s smile turns more genuine at that, promising to stop by if he gets a moment, and that he’ll send his friend's Stede’s way- “if he wants that kind of business.” Stede says that he does, actually- that he's seen a whole new world already today, and, while he was a little taken aback at first, he can feel the passion Ed and his friends have for this life. If there's one thing that's ever mattered to Stede, it's other people's enthusiasm. Maybe he doesn't completely understand yet, but he would like to try.
One year later, Stede’s back at the market on pride weekend again, far better stocked for the crowds this time around. Lucius is finally free to spend the day flirting with Fang & Pete to his heart's content, now that Stede’s roped his own boyfriends into helping him run the stall- and into modelling the merchandise. Ed loves that part, while Izzy needs a lot more convincing, but the puppy eyes Stede & Ed weaponise against him make a very good argument.
#Despite what this post may imply; i actually know very little about the art of leatherwork#Im also not saying Stede got into leatherwork because of his repressed leather kink. But im not not saying that.#(This is not to say that i personally think leather gear is boring- i totally see the beauty in simple/plain designs & i get that the#style is all about the look of straps and hardware. but also. i know in my heart Edward ‘likes a fine thing’ Teach would be head over heels#for fun unique pieces. Its the whimsy of it all)#(not to turn this into OFMD meta but. You can like both; in fact. You can have the leather AND you can have the florals)#ALSO. dont ask me why izzy would find a big difference between wearing gear on the float vs the stand. it just felt right#(ok i do have reasoning. its the directness of it. in the parade its very part-of-a-crowd; every interaction in passing. running the stand#is direct interactions + they are specifically looking at Him. it feels different. but he does it because he loves his partners)#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#edward teach#stede bonnet#izzy hands#israel hands#blackbeard#blackhands#edizzy#gentlehands#stizzy#gentlebeard#blackbonnet#steddyhands#fanfic#sort of... i dont really consider this fic; more. scenario description but ill admit this ended up way closer to fic than i planned#but the weird stylistic choices are because. this wasnt intended as fully fleshed out fic.#i am not a writer & i dont want to be. im just a guy with ideas over here; and the best way to share ideas is through words#(Please dont count the commas per sentence ratio. Thats between me & god)#also. I cant believe i wrote something that can be tagged as gentlebeard centric. Who am i.
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