#its at least more clear irl
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rottingcompost · 1 month ago
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I got my plushie backpack from littlesofts and i really like it so far! The backpack has a surprising amount of space, and i mean come on. It's adorable! Im impressed with it so far, my only nitpick really is that the snout fabric and the face fur fabric are not the same hue/shade, but thats a pretty minor thing. I didnt love the baby opossums initially, but i warmed up to them very quickly.
Also bonus pics of the small plushie version of plum
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It was fun to show my friends the backpack, and then go "but wait. Theres more" and pull out the tiny one lol
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sweetandsourcookies · 6 months ago
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lying here in bed and thinking abt how alienated out i feel in the cookie run fandom. and then theres a polish sitcom playing in the background from a different room.
#mostly like. i feel so alienated out for like. having such different views of chars.#dark choco is a char i find myself to relate to a lot. i see so much of myself in him.#and yet. i cant get fully interested and that makes me feel. am i even a true fan of his character#if my interpretation is so vastly different from the fandoms#and how his kingdom is probably my least favourite out of all the ancients' kingdoms#for how i feel like ppl and the narrative tend to forget how dark cacaos kingdom is so flawed.#like the whole “no sweet meals” thing. i am not talking abt irl influences and how it impacts the presentation of the kingdom but more like#i feel like ppl tend to perfectionize dark cacao kingdom while ignoring a ton of systematic issues in it.#then theres my opinion on hollyberry. i love her. shes my favourite ancient. but i wish we got a more serious storyline with her#im not all catched up on the lore but i just wish rlly wish we got more of the hollyberry kingdom. and see holly display a wider range of-#-emotions.#i hope the eternal sugar update will get us some hollyberry kingdom angst because i need some more serious characterization for her that r-#-not just snippets#then theres. white lily. i feel like im the only person who liked the fact white lily got her own kingdom and was split into two versions.#it DID come out of nowhere but like. i feel like its sort of more interesting than just white lily being fully DE?#her update was a fiasco with how shadow milk stole the show that was meant to be hers.#but like. so many of my opinions are different than the fandoms that i just cant help but feel like an intruder sometimes#i dont want to sound like a pick me or someone who thinks they r special for being different. because im not.#i do not like this feeling. but i needed to be open abt it ig#cookie chat#theres also like. the lack of proper characterization for carrow besides “good loyal soldier”.#that annoys me as hell too#fyi i DO NOT hate dark cacao kingdom to be clear. i love it a ton. the cultural influences are so interesting and i love the setting.#i just wish ppl didnt brush off a lot of systematic flaws abt it.
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puphoods · 3 months ago
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klike being a not very charismatic person + also being like neurotically unable to approach people just means i dont make friends unless other people like me enough but also that doesnt really happen. it sucks that i have like basically noone in my life and the people i DO have im just shit scared of losing Because i dont have anyone else which isnt fair. why do i have to be a loserrrrrr
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autism-corner · 9 months ago
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my two lil bottlecap pins...
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omegapheromone · 1 year ago
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Finally managed to fall asleep despite my hypersensitivity and little emotional distress temper tantrum. I feel like I was run over by the damn toxic gossip train, my body feels all limp and like a ragdoll today, like sleep never really left me fully. At least I'm not as hypersensitive anymore but I'm somehow still upset and sad over my nest struggles last night
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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...
#unprecedented emotions in this body o mine. like. this may b surprising given the amount of bitching i do on this website#but let me assure u irl i am exceptionally patient. but right now. there is a limit and that is where we now stand#and again this is prob my fault but ive come to the conclusion that fuck these custom chambers. fuck the amount of work that went into them#fuck all of this. im not fucking using them. i will sit here with this one fucking bryophite chamber if it takes me all goddam day bc at#least i fucking trust the values. that means ill have to split up measurements by 2 days but fuck u im right abt this#the solution is: u cant fucking do 98 samples at once. that it. im sorry. fuck u#and i would probably have come to this conclusion earlier if i had thr time to test but doing it all rught now with no fucking room for#grace makes it very fucking clear. so idk. im not fucking using the chambers. and im not looking forward to explaining this to my boss#bc shes so excited abt this project that i have been dreading since its conception. i started with the 3 chambers and it was somehow#even more awful than i would have imagined. fuck that. 2 or 3 fucking weeks of this#and im not even getting paid for all the extra work i do bc i don't get overtime. im not even technically allowed to work weekends or over#40hrs a week. im just doinf this bc im already so miserable why thr fuck not.#hhhhh im being such a brat abt this for real. ugh but i dont wanna meet with my boss#bc this feels like the time where i have to explain that like. listen. u know that thing im really good at and have spent fucking hour and#hours and hours and hours of time doing? well its catastrophically destructive to my brain and thats whats landed us here#where im so fucking fed up that i wanna quit. clean cut and never work with this stuff ever again#and if i have to use the 3 chambers i might die. i might just evaporate away into a million pieces bc i dont wanna deal with this#but i dont wanna explain that bc then shell feel bad and this isnt her fault. i have an issue thats out of my control and im letting it#devour me whole so like 🤷‍♂️ its my fault bleh#whatever. itll be fine. ive got a coherent argument as to why this is too much. and i kno im fucking right so there it is#i feel like that helps me make decisions: heres what has to happen. heres whats preventing that from happening#and there it is. it either u can fix it or u cant. thats it. u deal with the things in ur control#lol at least im not alone to stew in my anger. im working with 2 other ppl today. so i mean i say that im fucking furious bc im visual fine#lol bc im a patient and level headed person irl im just really whiney online bc i have no outlet. so itll b fine. decision made now we just#deal with it. ugh but how tf am i gonna distract myself from how miserable this is all day? thats the real question#brain gets Interrupted ever 5 min bleh agony#unrelated
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cy-cyborg · 5 months ago
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It's been confirmed that there are 3 amputees in the main cast of Dragon Age: the veilguard - Neve (leg amputee), Bellara (arm amputee) and your inquisitor (arm amputee). So as an amputee myself, here are some things I'd like to see.
Note: these aren't predictions, just things I'd really like to be included.
The inquisitor doesn't use a prosthetic (I already talked about this in its own post but with 3 amputees, and 2 of them already being shown to use prosthetics that, lets be honest, do look like "perfect replacement" prosthetics, it would be nice to see at least one who doesn't)
We will get to customise our inquisitor in chatacter creation, so I would love, if they do use a prosthetic, for there to be some customisability to it (im not holding my breath there but still).
Neve and Bellara's prosthetics aren't perfect prosthetics, and they are actually acknowledged as being disabled while still being active members of your party.
There's some kind of party banter between Neve and Bellara about some of the downsides/problems with their prosthetics, not necessarily in a "poor them" way, but in a "ugh, don't you just hate it when you can't get the stupid thing on in the morning" kind of way.
I get a kind of jokey/adventurous vibe from Bellara, I hope they aren't affraid to let her use her prosthetic for pranks or jokes. I don't think neve would, but I can see bellara having a blast with it.
I hope the prosthetics come off during down time. No amputee wears their prosthetics 24/7, it's uncomfortable, and they get heavy and sore after using them all day.
I hope we see Neve express some frustration or see her alter her walk animation on rough terrain. It's hard to get a clear look because the trailers she's been shown in are so dark, but her foot doesn't look articulated, which is going to change how she walks, even just a little bit.
I hope the prosthetics don't break - this is a trope I'm starting to notice more and more, where someone has a perfect prosthetic that is only not a perfect replacement when it breaks, usually for plot reasons, at which point the character in question is forced out of the action until its fixed. DA has forced companions out of your party for story reasons before (e.g. solas after you free his spirit friend and he needs to cool off) so I can see this being used for plot, and I really hope it's not.
The inquisitor, Neve and Bellara compair prosthetists (the maker of the prosthetic) and maker techniques.
I really doubt they'll do this but I'd love it if random NPC's approach you if you have any of the amputees in your party to ask what happened and/or make weird comments at them ("but cy, that would be so annoying and inconvenient!" That's the point. So many people do that to irl amputees, and it's never at a convenient or even safe time, and I've never seen it happen in media. A game is arguably the best place to have it happen, in, say, a random event similar to the ones that could happen in origins)
In that same vein, I'd love to see a scene where someone approaches the inquisitor to call them an inspiration- you and the inquisitor assume it's for, you know, beating corripheus (I know I spelled it wrong lol) and saving the world, but it's revealed the chatacter has no idea who the hell the inquisitor is and just means it's inspiring that they're out in public "like that" - referring to their arm. This also happens to me all the time, and you can't tell me some snooty orlesean or tevinter noble wouldn't make those back-handed compliments, lol. You also can't convince me that any version of the inquisitor would just accept that
I hope none of the chatacters are used as inspiration porn ("don't you worry Rook! I can still pull my own weight on the team despite being an amputee, you just have to give me a chance to prove myself!")
At least one of the chatacter's stories of how they lost their limb is left untold in game (we don't always need to know how it happened if it's not relevent to the plot).
Like I said, these aren't predictions, just my hopes. I wouldn't hold my breath for any of these to be honest (bioware has not been the best in term of disability rep in the past) but A lot of them wouldn't be hard to implement and could take the representation from hardly even acknowledging their disability to something actually pretty decent disability rep-wise. It's also pretty rare to have so many characters with the same kind of disability in the cast of such a mainstream piece of media, and I really, really hope they do something with that because you can have a lot of fun with that.
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onestepbackwards · 10 months ago
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Love That Bites Pt. 11
Hi! Here's part 11 to my Dracula x Reader series! I apologize for the huge delay, I've had a lot going on IRL, so I haven't has as much time/energy to write as I would have liked. Still, I hope you enjoy! I hope to have more happen in the next chapter as well, hopefully some action! Summary: Dracula finally manages to get things running somewhat smoothly, only to run into a snag when it comes to the potions he's had made for you. Thankfully, it isn't as big of a setback as it could be, so long as he can see you beginning to heal. During all of it, he begins to recognize some old feelings...
CW: Injury mention, death mention, brief description of injury, thoughts of murder,
Word Count: 6244 Words!
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Tag List: @pumpkinvampie, @bethleeham, @mshope16, @sixsixtwenty, @haleypearce, @rvautomatic, @tinystarfishgalaxy, @marshmelloe, @maorizon, @ursamajor17, @sapphicsfordracula, @dame-sunflowers, @sleepyendymion, @starrlo0ver, @onewiththebeanbag First: Here! Last: Here! Next: Here! - - -
Dracula was beginning to wonder just how you had managed to survive so long on your own.
He wasn’t doubting your skills. In fact, Dracula could tell from a glance you were a powerful fighter, much like your ancestors had been. He wouldn’t be surprised if you were one of the strongest Belmonts yet.
No, he was concerned over how you seemed lacking when it came to taking care of yourself.
Sure, you had bandaged yourself on the way to his castle, and he was thankful you seemed to have some sort of survival instinct.
But he noticed you didn’t put in too much effort though in your own health overall.
It wasn’t just from how you came to his castle recently, but something he had noticed long before he had been freed.
After the first few times he saw you, it was clear to him. You would briefly mention your headaches, and your homelife, how you just ‘dealt’ with it.
You had mentioned to him in a joke how even though you had been sick at one point, you just pushed through it while sleeping in your car for a week.
He couldn’t ask you at the time why you did such things, being trapped in stone. Now, he felt it would be counterproductive to ask you. Not until you were comfortable around him.
But it was a horrifying thing you mentioned offhandedly while eating a sandwich, and you refused to elaborate. Why would you put yourself through that?
Add that to his mental list of reasons why he had to investigate your home life. If anything, that was blatantly unhealthy. How the hell was your immune system putting up such a fight on its own if that was how you handled being sick at your home?
How did you handle most injuries before you met him? A part of him really did not wish to find out, but he couldn’t help but feel the desire to know.
Dracula was at least thankful you mentioned a small cabin once. After you had mentioned it while he was stone, you realized what you had said, and were quick to try and change the subject. You had not meant to tell him about it, it seemed.
But he was thankful at least that you had a small place nearby to rest.
At one point throughout the day as he checked in on you, he briefly considered going to see this cabin, or sending a scout to see where it was. However, he dismissed this idea almost as soon as he had thought it.
You’d no doubt be upset if you found out he had done so, and he would be willing to bet you had traps all over the land leading up to your small sanctuary away from your home.
It was only logical to assume so. You had found his castle nearby your own property.
Something he didn’t fail to see irony in. Of course his castle would choose a place nearby a Belmont’s property.
Still, if it had been him in your situation, he would have placed traps on top of traps once finding out such a thing. Sending an underling was just asking for it to either be captured, destroyed, or injured. Or for such information to spread to less enthusiastic minions who were disgruntled about your stay here.
No doubt when you inevitably left, you would check the traps, or at least notice one out of place, if not finding a dead monster's remains on your land. Dracula couldn’t afford to have you lose trust in him just because he was curious.
Yes… Dracula would wait, and put his patience to the test. He’d try to get you to open up to him, and show him yourself.
You already were showing you didn’t detest him, something that was bringing an old warmth to his cold heart.
He’d even wager you opened up to him just a little earlier, when you had mentioned your injuries had been from something personal.
Sure, it wasn’t a large amount of information, but it was progress.
Now, he just had to keep this progress going forward, something Dracula knew was not going to be smooth sailing as he had hoped. There was already unrest in the castle, he could just feel it.
No one had said anything to him, but Dracula was more in tune with his castle and its magic than people gave him credit for. Every being here had energy that was woven with the castle’s in some way shape or form.
And people were anxious.
Some were restless, some were afraid. Many were irritated.
A Belmont being treated as a guest? He knew it would only be a matter of time before someone or something acted out.
Dracula just hoped it wouldn’t be at your expense. He could clean any other mess as need be, but he wouldn’t stand you being injured further.
Alas, he couldn’t act unless someone else acted out first, or he could see they were planning something that involved you. Dracula, loathe as he may to admit it, would only cause more unrest by acting too hastily.
That was fine though, he could bide his time.
The only thing that had him on edge was your current injuries. Or rather, he didn’t want you fighting with your injuries and making them worse, especially after your healing has been progressing nicely.
Speaking of which, You were healing incredibly quickly. If it wasn’t for your lineage, he would have guessed you had some sort of distant supernatural blood in your veins, such as vampirism.
Still, even though you were healing at an impressive rate, it still wasn’t enough. Your injuries by all means could have killed you, and they were still deep and fresh.
His fingers tapped on the wood of his desk in his study, concern no doubt etched clear on his features.
Those potions should be finished today, or at least the first batch of them. The stronger type usually required a longer amount of time to simmer for better healing effects. Time though, was not something he could afford, so a batch of the regular sort would have to do.
Of course, he’d have to thoroughly check them himself after his alchemists were finished. He had not explained who the potions were for when he had ordered it to be done, but now, there was no doubt in his mind the ones creating the potions knew it was for a hunter.
Unfortunately, he couldn’t even trust most of his underlings with this. Even his more trusted ones, he was going to be forced to keep an eye on.
The chances of his alchemists messing with your potions were low, but not impossible. Thankfully, he knew potions very well after studying them centuries ago. Dracula was confident he could catch any ‘unneeded’ ingredients that might slip in the finished batch.
However, he hated that he would have to check.
“How bothersome…” he mumbled as he pressed his face into the palm of one of his hands.
Looking for poison itself wasn’t the issue, it’s something he’ll gladly do. It was the fact this would mean it would take longer to get the potions to you that irritated him.
If the potions were tampered with, like he worried they might be, he’d probably have to make them himself. Something he would also do without pause, but again, he didn’t wish for you to stay injured any longer than necessary.
Dracula rubbed his eyes for a moment, wondering how he had grown so protective of you like a mother hen.
The last time he could remember fretting over someone, was whenever his late wife had gotten sick, or when his son fell ill once or twice.
Back before everything fell apart.
He sighed, feeling another migraine coming on. It wouldn’t do well to think of that now. The less distractions, the better.
At least one good thing came from this. You were receptive to him checking in on you. Dracula doubted you would trust any of his underlings to do it, or at least any of them bringing you meals.
Not without him there to supervise, it seemed.
It was small, but that amount of trust you had in him was a lot for the circumstances.
Dracula felt another sigh escape his lips, and he ignored the temptation to lay his head on his desk like a daydreaming school boy.
What were you doing to him? Had the Great Dracula really fallen for a Belmont?
His eyes widened slightly at his own thoughts.
Fallen? No. Though he detested the idea of admitting he had a schoolboy crush.
He could at least admit he felt fonder for you than some human teenager just figuring themselves out, thank you very much.
Deep down however, thinking about this unsettled him.
Dracula cared for you. He could admit that in his head whole heartedly. Somehow, the Little Belmont had wormed their way into his cold, dead heart without even trying.
But he feared to think about what that meant for him. His life. His future. Your future.
The trust between you two was rocky, but it was there. Could he really push to have you trust him more? Was that really a future he could hope for? Try for? To even care about?
Was it even worth it?
Dracula ran a hand through his hair, and debated summoning another glass of blood to sooth the migraine he could already feel forming in his temples.
Himself and your family had been doomed to fight for centuries. Would even trying to open up the possibilities of at least a friendship be very wise?
Looking from the outside, it seemed like something doomed to fail.
So why did he want to try?
His fingers began to thrum idly on the desk again.
The answer was still the same as before. It was you.
You were different. Different from most Belmonts.
Was wanting to bet on that difference really worth the possible pain? Heartbreak? Potential agony?
Vlad’s eyes drifted over to a portrait that hung in his private study. One depicting his precious Lisa.
Lisa had been worth it, even if his time with her had been so cruelly cut short. He knew her time with her would have been limited, as she had wanted to stay human. It was one of the things that had made her so precious.
One of the few things he regretted was not being there for her when she needed him most. Probably one of his biggest regrets, alongside not being next to Elisabetha when she passed back when he had been human.
So perhaps… This too, would be worth it.
He could not deny that this was a golden opportunity. If, by small chance, he could change fate…
Perhaps he would not have to suffer being killed once more, and this damned cycle between him and your family could finally break.
Dracula was no fool. He was sure this cycle affected your family just as much as it did him. Ever since Leon, almost every Belmont has had to learn to fight creatures of the night. Either to be a hunter, or to avoid simply being the prey.
No doubt not every Belmont liked this, and judging from the small glimpses of your home life he has seen, the Belmont clan seems to have fallen into disrepair.
There was a darkness in your eyes when you spoke about your home, one that had him worrying all over again.
That was something else he was going to have to focus on. Your life at home.
Given that your clan was full of vampire hunters, even if he did by chance get your home’s location, he doubted himself or any of his underlings would be able to get too close. Surveillance wouldn’t be an easy option, or most likely would not be an option at all.
Unless, of course, your family’s home and protections have also deteriorated. Perhaps getting close to the home wouldn’t be as big of an issue.
But alas, he wouldn’t risk most of his underlings finding your home like that. He has a few he trusts, sure, but he couldn’t in good faith let most of them know where you lived.
All it would take is one slip up, and your home would no doubt be swarmed. Even if it wasn’t monsters from his circles, it wouldn’t take much from other groups to learn and decide to exterminate you en masse.
Even if no one could penetrate your home’s defenses, it wouldn’t be hard to stage an ambush to have you assassinated the moment you left your property. Or anyone else that lived with you.
Dracula’s eyes narrowed at that thought. Oh, how that was tempting, just to see those who may have hurt you torn to shreds.
But he had to wait. He’d have vengeance for you one way or another.
Before he could contemplate who he had to murder, he heard a brisk knock at his door. Crimson eyes narrowed, and with his mask slipping back into place, he sat back in his chair.
“Enter.”
Large doors to his study creaked open, and one of the alchemists he had working on your potions stepped into the room. A young man who had answered the Castle’s magical call for power and safety.
The young man before him tried not to tremble under his gaze, barely making eye contact before looking at a different part of the room. Dracula had to hold back an annoyed sigh.
A shame those who could create potions were few and far between, leaving him with such a sniveling fool. At least he could get the job done, along with the few others he had working under him.
“Is the task I set for you and the others finished?” he asked, thrumming his fingers against the desk once again, a bored look on his face.
Swallowing nervously, the alchemist nodded, before remembering he needed to speak.
“Y-Yes, milord. The first batch of potions has finished, but…”
Dracula raised an eyebrow. He was already nearing the end of his patience.
“But?”
The young man flinched, and the vampire tried not to roll his eyes.
“I’m afraid, ah… this batch won’t be that potent, due t-to us having to rush…”
As if Dracula didn’t already anticipate that.
No matter though. What was important was getting you something to fend back the majority of your injuries. Even if it is just enough to help you fight infection and mend a few patches of skin, it was better than nothing.
“I’m aware of the effect of making potions on such short notice. Is that everything?”
For a split second, the alchemist’s heartbeat spiked, and he avoided looking at the Vampire Lord. Dracula forced his face to remain neutral.
How curious.
“That’s everything, sir.”
Almost immediately, the shadows in the room crawled forward, and the temperature dropped a noticeable amount.
Dracula stood up from his chair to his full height, and leaned over his desk. His claws dug into the wood, and his eyes grew black and red.
“Tell me, Alchemist, why are you lying to me?”
A squeak left the young man’s lips, and he physically shrunk in on himself. No one wanted to be on Dracula’s bad side.
“I don’t tolerate liars in my court.”
The Alchemist fell backwards onto the floor in a scramble, and shuffled backwards a few feet. The door magically shut behind him, and he looked as if he were to faint.
Dracula felt the air grow heavy around him, and the pathetic man in front of him began to pant and shake.
“Now, what is it you are hiding from me?”
The threat was clear as day. Should the young man in front of him lie, or do something foolish, he would not live to see tomorrow.
Swallowing thickly, the Alchemist shakily stood to his feet.
“I… As I was finishing up my batch of potions, I overheard a few of the witches talking.”
Dracula had the tension in the air lesson to a degree. The boy in front of him was willing to speak, so he may as well not make it too difficult, lest the coward faint.
Though he made sure his displeasure was apparent.
“Go on.” Eyes darted between him and other parts of the room, the Alchemist shrunk in on himself further before speaking.
“I… I overheard them talking about how they think the hunter has bewitched you. That the hunter is going to kill you, and everyone involved.”
Dracula wanted to scoff. Just mild gossip. He wasn’t surprised it was already making the rounds, though he’d have to keep an eye on it lest it fester into something unmanageable without conflict.
Rumors and resentment building would only cause unrest, and the less he had to deal with, the better.
“And just who were the witches who were discussing this?” The man swallowed. “I don’t know.” “So you didn’t think to get a look on who it might be?” He shook his head, fingers twitching idly.
“No sir. But…”
Dracula could feel the throbbing in his temples. Perhaps he should summon some wine…
“...The witches talked about wanting to do something before it was too late.”
Now that caught Dracula’s attention.
“They what?!”
The Alchemist winced, though straightened up a little now that Dracula’s ire wasn’t entirely directed at him.
“I-I have no evidence, nor was I able to follow them, but- I think some of them might be planning something, sir.”
The room’s temperature dropped further, and at the moment, the Alchemist felt like his soul left his body.
Dracula was well known for his fury.
How his anger was icy, yet his fury ran hot.
“Planning something?”
His voice was low, in a way that was like a growl. Like a predator readying to bite down on the neck of its prey. It was inviting, yet it had the survival instincts of anything around him screaming to run.
The wind picked up around the castle, and lightning began to strike across the clouded sky. The flashes of light only seemed to emphasize the anger on his face.
Briefly, The King of the Night hoped you weren’t bothered by the pick up of the storm. Surely you’d notice the change in atmosphere…
But that was something he could check in with you later.
“And do you happen to know just what they might be planning? Or which ones it even was?”
Dracula’s mind was beginning to work overtime. Which witches lingered near the Alchemy lab? He's going to have to do a sweep it seemed, and soon. At least Castlevania would give him some insight should he ask for it.
If some of his underlings were already conspiring against him…
The boy in front of him was eerily silent, and Dracula held back from snapping. Killing the fool wouldn’t solve any of his issues, especially as he needed him for now.
Then, a thought suddenly hit Dracula, and he sat back into his seat, his claws growing sharper.
“Boy, where is the finished batch of potions?”
The Alchemist froze for a moment, taken aback by the sudden question.
“Um… In the labs?”
Dracula’s eyes sharpened, almost glowing red.
“And is there anyone or anything protecting the finished batch of potions in the labs?”
“Ah…”
Running a hand across his face, Dracula fought the urge to kill something.
He was going to need that drink before visiting you.
Much to Dracula’s disappointment (and hidden fury), it was just as he had expected.
He had decided to check on the batch of the potion himself after that conversation, just to be sure it hadn’t been tampered with.
It was something he was already going to do, but now it was incredibly important to do so after hearing what the Alchemist had to say.
Just as he had feared, the main batch that had been left out had indeed been soiled.
The potion itself was a darker blue than it should have been, a first tell that something wasn’t quite right. Then there was the smell.
Potions already smelled a bit bland, with a hint of bitterness to them. However, he was able to catch the scent of something almost sour.
The texture itself was also a bit… thick. Closer to a cream rather than the liquid form it was supposed to have.
Dracula felt his brow twitch with thinly veiled disdain.
With a sigh, and barely hidden rage, he ended up banishing the whole batch. No point in taste testing when he could already smell the signs of tampering. The only thing he would be able to get out of a test would be what ingredients specifically had been added, but there was no point. Not when he already knew the results.
It seems he would have to keep a closer eye on things than he thought.
Even if the alchemists and potioneers he had working on this were as trustworthy as they could get, it seemed that there was only so much he could do before the rats began to poke their noses where they didn't belong.
As much as he hated to section off parts of the lab, it seems he would have to until you were healed, or he found all the idiots involved who dared try and pull a fast one on him.
Thankfully however, not everything was lost.
Dracula was thankful that moment for employing several alchemists to the lab for different batches of potions. He could just take from those, since they would have a similar effect.
The other alchemists were to keep working on different batches of potions, so he could have stronger ones brewing while the first batch was finished. This meant there would be less powerful ones, sure, but he would simply have more made.
What mattered was getting this first batch to you.
You may be healing relatively quickly and well, but he was quickly growing to dislike seeing you injured.
The shadows under your eyes, and how sunken in your face looked, added to your winces of pain… He hoped that he could help with that by taking care of your wounds.
It would be a long journey, he was sure. No doubt it would take more than just healing your injuries to actually have you looked… alive.
That was what had his cold, undead heart beating worriedly in his chest.
You didn’t look like you were living.
Sure, your blood pumped, your heart still beats, but you didn’t have a happy light in your eyes. Dracula could mistake you for one of his minions with how those eyes alone looked.
He was thankful though, seeing a spark in them. It was subtle, and only showed up on occasion.
However, he found himself yearning to protect it.
Ha. Him. Lord of the Night. King of all Vampires, wanting to protect his own supposed enemy. Even more so, with such… feelings developing.
Dracula still wasn’t sure whether to find it amusing, or pitiful.
The beast in his mind that he had embraced so long ago surprisingly didn’t fight him on it. At first, it had called him pathetic the first time he found himself wanting to help you.
But that same beast had quickly done a 180, quickly growing to respect you much like his logical side had.
And oh, how it had quickly grown protective.
Dracula felt his lips almost twitch upward at the thought, feeling the very same protectiveness stir in his soul as he approached your door.
He gave a brisk knock at the door, casting a brief glance to the living armors he had stationed near your room. Stone still as always.
After a brief moment, he heard your voice, telling him to come in.
Carefully he opened the door, and it was as if a weight was lifted off his chest just seeing you. The way you subtly perked up when seeing him, sitting up in your bed…
He tried not to let his pride get to him, how it was him that you were sitting up for.
‘One step at a time, Vlad.’
The scent of your blood though soon quickly caught his nose, and he felt himself stand straighter as he walked quickly to your side.
“Your injuries… did one re-open?” He was quick to ask, internally scolding himself when he felt the urge to have a taste.
For a Belmont, your blood was still such an intoxicating scent…
Sheepishly, you looked away from him after he arrived at your side.
“Ah… I fell on the way to the restroom. I accidentally pulled some stitches open, but I got the wound under control.”
If he had been a human, he would have sworn you were trying to give him a heart attack at this rate. How was it you were such a trouble magnet?
Gently, he leaned over you, his hands hovering over where your shirt was. Underneath, he could already smell the irritated wound and fresh blood.
His eyes met your own.
“May I?” He asked, desiring to see how bad it had gotten. His voice was soft and tender, not wishing to push you or make you uncomfortable.
You froze for a moment, and a glimmer of emotion passed in your eyes. However, it left as quick as it came, and you carefully pulled your arms up to give him access.
Even now, Dracula was still incredibly impressed with the trust you were giving him. If this had been any of your ancestors, or any hunter, really, he would no doubt be in a fight.
Gently, his cool hands brushed against your warm skin as he lifted your shirt upwards to see the bandaged wound. He pointedly ignored the shiver you have, no doubt his cold hands most likely the cause.
At least, that’s what he told himself, also ignoring how you tensed slightly. Or how he heard your pulse pick up as he got closer.
It was not the time to let his mind wander and theorize.
Dracula would give you credit, though. Your pain tolerance wasn’t anything to scoff at, and you were taking everything in stride, even now.
He removed the bandages with a gentle ease, and immediately internally stomped down the sudden hunger he felt.
The fresh scent of your blood still somehow managed to drive him crazy, even when he wasn’t starving.
To think he’d find a Belmont’s blood so appealing?
It took a bit of his will power to calm himself, before continuing to look at the wound. Pursing his lips, he let out a hum.
His hands held your midsection still as he observed the new damage, ignoring your sharp intake of air.
“Apologies…” He mumbled, knowing full and well his hands were most likely even colder the closer they were to your feverish flesh.
“No worries…” You breathed, your voice small. His eyes flickered up to your face, and your own were wide as you watched him. Still vigilant, even now. Cute.
Eyes back on your wound, he felt a bit of relief. Thankfully you hadn’t torn open as many stitches as he had feared, and you had cleaned the wound up well.
It seems getting rest and meals was helping you both physically, and mentally. You weren’t hanging on a thread, wrapping wounds with little regard to your life now.
Really, he shouldn’t be surprised. Even if he was worried about how you thought of yourself and your health in general, you of all people would know how to properly wrap a wound when in good conditions to do so.
After a moment, he pressed the bandages back onto your injury, and stepped back.
“Despite several stitches being pulled, it could have been worse.”
You pull your shirt down, and smile sheepishly.
“That’s good. It didn’t look too bad, but I’m glad you agree.” You spoke, rubbing the back of your neck a bit nervously.
It seemed you were still on edge, though he didn’t mind too much.
He looked you over for a moment as you fixed your shirt. You really were looking better than when you first arrived. Even from when he saw you this morning, you seemed to be improving.
At least, he was definitely thankful you no longer looked like you were dead on your feet.
Clearing his throat for a moment, he nearly smirked at how you almost jumped. Most would have missed how your muscles tensed, though he decided to count the fact he wasn’t outright scaring you a plus.
“I have something for you.”
Immediately your interest was piqued.
How you subtly leaned towards him and tilted your head, you were curious.
“You do?”
He stepped back for a moment, before holding out his hand. In a flash of smoke and light, a bottle appeared in his hand.
As he held it out to you, your eyes widened as you gently took it from his grip.
“A potion? You really made some?”
Dracula crossed his arms a bit in pride as you looked over the bottle.
“Of course. You’ll find I am not fond of breaking promises, or going back on my word.”
You took a moment to look over the bottle you now held in your hands, almost disbelieving. Dracula felt a pang of something in his heart. Pity? Worry? He wasn’t sure, but he didn’t like how astounded you looked over the fact he would get you some basic potions.
“I do apologize in advance. Due to the fact your injuries were severe, I had this made as fast as possible. It won’t heal you completely, but it should heal the worst of your wounds.”
For a moment, you were silent, clearly thinking.
“If you are worried about it being poisoned-” he began, but you raised a hand to cut him off.
“No! No, it’s fine. Sorry. I trust it isn’t poisoned.” You spoke. After another moment, you pulled the cork off the bottle, and debated if you should take a sip.
“However, I do wish to warn you about something.” Dracula said, speaking before you could drink it. He may as well tell you now, before you take a drink. No doubt you’d be upset if he told you after.
You froze, looking at him expectantly.
“Yes…?”
Dracula let out a frustrated sigh, a hand coming up to his forehead just thinking about it.
“Someone has tried to tamper with one of the batches of potions I have commissioned to be made.”
Your eyes widened, flickering to the potion, but he held up a hand to try and calm you before you could panic.
“I tossed that batch out after testing it myself. I can assure you the potion you hold in your hand has been deemed clean by myself personally. That one you hold in your hand was not supposed to go to you today. It was a batch that was supposed to simmer for a few more days.”
“To become a stronger batch…” You murmured, and Dracula felt a small twinge of pride. He supposes it shouldn’t be a surprise you would know such things, given how often you probably used potions in general.
“So… Someone wanted me dead…?” You asked, still eyeing the bottle critically. Dracula’s face turned a bit more sour.
“Unfortunately so. I will not lie to you, having you as my guest has… ruffled some feathers. I’m currently investigating those I believe tried to lace the potion with poison.”
Bright eyes flickered to him, and he caught that look, one of near disbelief.
“Why? I don’t particularly blame them, I’m a hunter, after all…” You murmured once again, eyes glancing back to the bottle.
“Because you are my guest. I will not tolerate those who wish to go against my orders, and attempt to kill the company I deemed worthy to keep.”
Dracula wondered if you weren’t used to such thoughts, with the way he saw emotions flicker across your face, gone as quick as they came.
Summoning a chair from the side of the room, he sat down, placing his elbows on his knees as he rested his chin over his clasped hands.
“If you don’t wish to drink that potion, I will not force you. It will just take a longer period for you to fully recover. I will not blame you for doing so.”
After all, he just admitted someone tried to use a different batch to kill you. He wouldn’t blame you for being careful.
You seemed to think for a moment, and Dracula decided to keep speaking as you thought about it.
“I also wish to officially inform you that unrest is beginning to stir in the castle. However,” Dracula began, taking in your expression of slight alarm, “I once again wish to reiterate something. You are allowed to protect yourself. I will not vilify you if you defend yourself from an attack.”
It was the truth. He had means to see if it was self defense, or a planned attack. He doubted you would attack unprompted.
You look at him a bit confused.
“But… How would you know it was self defense? The monsters who want me dead could just lie as a group, right?”
Dracula felt the corners of his lips twitch upwards. You had clearly been thinking about this, though he could tell it was something that must have weighed on your mind.
Not so much you thinking you could get away with attacking his subordinate, rather, you were worried about being attacked and thinking ahead.
He felt his lips curl into a small, amused smirk.
“I have my ways of figuring out what happens throughout my castle without being present.”
It was through his close connection with Castlevania, really.
Thanks to his connection, he was able to loosely figure out just who had tampered with your potions. Needless to say, it wasn’t hard to get the two witches to admit it, with how weak willed they were.
His castle was now a few witches less. Not that it mattered.
It wasn’t all of them, he was sure. Dracula still had a bit of investigating to do. The two he disposed of were just the ones who admitted to it, and Dracula could tell more were involved. No doubt he would be busy later looking further into the matter.
Some certainly weren’t happy with him, but alas, that was what happened when you attempted to hurt those he was protecting.
You seemed a bit skeptical, or perhaps curious?
“Um… Is it through the power of Chaos you can?”
As soon as you asked it, a worried look appeared on your face.
“Uh, if that isn’t too personal of a question, I mean…?”
He almost wanted to laugh. You were trying to be respectful, unsure if that was too much information to ask for.
“Trying to figure out a way to one up your enemy, hm?” He asked, though his lips ticked upwards in a full grin, clearly teasing you. Dracula could tell that wasn’t what you meant.
“No! That’s not what I-! I didn’t- fuck, I mean-”
It was adorable how you sputtered, and tried to catch your words to apologize.
“Relax, I’m only teasing you. Yes, it’s partially through the power of Chaos. Though Castlevania itself is bound to my very soul. Not much gets past me, should the castle alert me about it.”
You instantly relaxed at his words, and seemed to perk up in interest.
Once again, your eyes flickered to the bottle in your hand.
“Is that how you found out the last potion was poisoned?”
Dracula hummed, leaning back in the chair.
“No. One of my Alchemists alerted me to the fact several witches were discussing how they were… unhappy about your presence. I decided to check on the potion early, even if it was finished. I simply had my castle assist me in finding out who had done it.”
Silence filled the room once more. It seemed you were unsure what you wanted to say next.
After a beat passed, you looked back at him.
“Thank you, then. For checking. And for giving this to me.”
Your voice was soft, as was your smile.
If Dracula still breathed, he just knows his breath would have caught in his throat.
That was a smile that was worth protecting.
After you thanked him, you brought the bottle to your lips, and began to drink down the potion.
The effect was almost immediate. Even if he couldn’t see most of your wounds, he could see how you changed.
You no longer favored one side, leaning oddly to the left. Nor did you hold your arm as close as before. In fact, your body seemed to relax even further, now that the worst of the injuries were finally repairing from the magic treatment.
When you finished the drink, you pulled the bottle away from your lips, a disgusted look on your face presumably due to the taste. You coughed for a moment, and shook your head a bit.
After gathering your bearings, you then looked back up to Dracula, and truly smiled.
For once, you looked happy. You looked alive.
Yes, Dracula thought. Pursuing a future where you two don’t have to fight, would be one worth aiming for, just to see you smile once more.
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marsprincess889 · 6 months ago
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Me getting political
🇬🇪🇪🇺
So, I know I mostly only really talk about vedic astrology here, but I'd like to speak to the very same audience who found and followed me because of that about what's going on in my country. So, followers, dear mutuals, those couple of ppl I know irl who are on here, or someone who randomly found this_please, read and interact. (!!!please)
For context, the vast majority Georgia, mainly gen z, has been protesting a "foreign agents law", which is almost identical to the law that russia passed in 2012 and that has resulted in significant restriction of the freedom of its citizens. So, eurovision, met gala, whatever.... this is the reality my country lives in.
I had no idea so many people from other countries were this misinformed about georgia(in general)? People thinking photos from our massive protests were not from here because we have "police" written in english and not "policija"(which is not a fcking georgian word??????)?
People thinking america funded, I repeat, MASSIVE protests that have been going on for a month(and have also taken place in the march of last year for the same reason), just because some of the protestors wrote signs in english? Like, the sheer idea of that is honestly infuriating.
I don't think anyone who has not lived in Georgia will understand the situation clearly. The government is ordering to beat up peaceful protestors, is using pepper spray on them.... and most of the protestors are teens and young adults, trying to make a better future for themselves and for generations to come, tired of fighting the same fight that their parents and grandparents have fought.
When you are born georgian, patriotism is instilled in you like vow. I was born in 2002, a decade after my country exited the soviet union, fresh out of the notoriously hard and dark 90s(full of poverty and crime), six years before I started school and russia invaded the city of Gori. We learned all the poems and novels of our great writers, learned the stories of them fighting for freedom of speech, for the freedom of our country, our teachers would explain every detail of their astristry and their importance. At some point I think we all got tired of it, no matter how loving and full of care they were, but then I remember the presentation my class did in sixth grade about february of 1921, how Georgia exited the russian empire in 1918 and how the brand new(at the time) constitution was implemented just a few days before the red army came in 1921... MY PARENTS were born when Georgia was in ussr, my mother had to spend her years as a young student in the 90s in constant fear of danger on the streets, our parents saw the worst of it and did everything in their power for us to live in a better environment. But we're first generation in georgia who grew up with internet, who is fluent in internet slang and is way more informed, with a completely different mentality, for whom the decades of oppression is more distant. We know russia is an enemy, we know what our country has gone through, but we are the first gen with the freedom to speak up when yet another attemp to control is made.
We have a very long and rich history and one thing that is clear from it is that we are supernaturally resilient, and our refusal to be subdued has protected not only ourselves, but countries that lie west from us, the countries that make Europe, that we consider ourselves a part of.
My friends know I'm the quickest to say that I feel like I don't belong here(georgia), that I never really connected to what I saw, generally, in my country, but maybe there are thousands like me here. Maybe(100%) the men in power haven't been paying their due respect to my generation and how persistent we have been in our actions and convictions. And maybe, the rest of the world(western countries) have significantly undervalued our importance. We deserve our due, and to me, the least that others can do, is to educate themselves before typing or speaking about us.
We are not a "former soviet country", we are an ancient civilization with an extremely unique culture that has survived to this day, that has protected its customs, identity and the right for freedom, and has been under almost constant threat for losing them. And, once again, if there was any doubt, we are not our government.
I sincerely hope for this to get as many notes or possible, or at least, to reach the right people.
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purple-obsidian · 4 months ago
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Thank you for answering my last ask, can I have your take on if the girl in ur last fic hadve gotten just a TOUCH more frightened after the knife incident and started openly weeping when jason started touching her (i feel like she was already on the brink) would he keep going? I don't think that would feel consensual to her, especially after the knife thing. It already feels like she's ½way a prisoner, given the fact that he just goes and re-abducts her when she tries to leave. Does he already understand that what he's doing is very dubiously consensual, and he's going ahead anyways bc he dgaf, or if she were to point out that Jason's got the threat of violence constantly hanging over her head and that she can't safely deny him without jeopardizing all her bones and her mental welfare then it would bring him up short? It really seems like Jason understands she doesn't really want him physically (at least not in the way he'll have her) and he's just gonna plow on ahead bc she did not specifically say no. “Will you get mad at me if I say no?” I think he would. I think he understands shes afraid already.
[fic referenced]
you're welcome, anon!
if reader had been more outwardly emotional and made it very clear to him that she didn't want him touching her, he would have stopped. i am not saying that jason's behavior is right or correct in any way (this is dark fiction, remember) but if reader would have told him to stop or pushed him away, he most likely would have gone to the couch or just turned over and internalize the rejection, giving reader the silent treatment.
to answer the next part, does jason know that what he is doing isn't exactly consensual or right? its complicated. i want to give a quick disclaimer and say that the reasoning i'm about to explain is not any sort of justification for similar behavior irl, this is just what is going on in the mind of a very traumatized, very broken fictional character with a devastating backstory.
the first few weeks reader was living with jason, he probably would have let her leave if she said she wanted to. if she disappeared? he would have gone looking for her, absolutely. and also be pissed that she didn't tell him where she was going, and that she went out on her own. in my little au, joker planted doubts about jason and reader's relationship in his mind just like he manipulated jason's feelings towards bruce and the others. so upon their initial reunion, jason was skeptical and angry, and was kind of expecting her to leave. but after weeks of constant reassurance and promises, he finally started to believe reader, even though his insecurities remain. once he started putting the smallest bit of trust and faith in reader, that's the point where he would not allow reader to leave. even if she wanted to, jason has it in his head that she promised to be by his side no matter what, and he would cling to that and use it to guilt her and justify him keeping her, potentially, against her will. [he wouldn't force himself on her physically, but he would for sure keep her from leaving.]
homeboy is in the middle of trying to de-program all the shit joker put in his head, he is constantly second-guessing his relationships and the people around him, and his relationship with reader is the only steady presence he is allowing himself to trust. so if she decided to go, at this point, he would fight tooth and nail to keep her. he would most likely be in denial, and cling on even tighter.
he can see that reader is scared, but he is so scared himself that it's hard for him to focus on anything else. the physical and psychological torture he went through has, in my mind, left him so broken when it comes to bonds and relationships that some of his logic is just not there anymore. i imagine this makes it even harder for reader, too, seeing him work on establishing himself in gotham's underworld and being so cunning and sharp when it comes to executing his plans, but being so sensitive and snapping at her and his men if the wrong thing is said.
joker taught him that fear is the ultimate tool for control. jason may deny it, but he's taken those lessons to heart, whether he realizes it or not.
appreciate your thoughts, sorry this took a while to answer.
xoxo sid
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smrtnik07 · 7 months ago
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librarians redesigned!!! by me!!! :)
the designs are free to use, i used this as a character design exercise for myself while recovering from carpal tunnel issues! read more for all the individual designs + me ranting :*
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first off roland!! i included an angelica in here, i designed her before him, shes very triangular to me.. maybe a bit more messed up than roland tells us about, he is a biased narrator afterall. anyways i wanted his design to match hers nicely, so hes like a rounded square type of guy... i think projmoon designed him to be Just A Guy intentionally, so i played into it. overall the least interesting design of the bunch imo. its on purpose :)
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angela !!! my baby :) an important thing here is her bangs. i dont want her hair to be able to recover from however many years she spent with the hard middle part in lobcorp, i think its cute to incorporate it still. swoopy, fluffy hair for her! and the clothes are just a bit more casual idk the librarian uniforms were kinda boring and stiff to me, as much as it does go with her character.. if u wanna be human u gotta experience the joy of sweatpants or whatever. also i didnt add color but i dont want her to be fully white<3 or fully clear skinned.. give her sunspots on her face. she finally gets to experience sun. :)
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guess ill go in order of appearance lol. malkuth! whats the headband for if it doesnt keep anything out of her face!! since shes a bit more active than some of her colleagues, i also gave her a ponytail(its also for the silhouette...) also gave her some chubbier thighs.. also maybe a butler-esque coat, at least to me; i just made it a bit more form fitting than the original. playing into her personality or whatever. shes cute.. remember to take deep breaths!!
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yesod!! i want to play into the skin issues a bit more, i still removed his gloves but i gave him a poncho, not just for the square silhouette im trying to build but for more coverage. also emo hair over eyes was funny. also wide flare pants for you, boy. just very square and put together in general
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hod! this ones my favorite (i even cared enough to give her a pattern on that skirt!!) it was kinda bugging me how in the artbook i couldnt tell who was writing because hod's, malkuth's, and tiphereth's colors are so similar. so hod is pink now, and malkuth a bit more orange. i kinda went for a romantic poet thing here, dunno how much that worked out, but i think out of everyone you can tell shes the literature girl. gave her pigtails !! theyre cute :> also since i removed the coat decoration off of angela, i gave part of it to hod in the bottom of her coat :). cute and round!
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netzach is a very strange man to me.. ellipse shape and loose fitting clothes for u. if i saw him irl i wouldnt approach him. not to say i dont like him as a character, i love him, but i want him to look like a depressed guy who would pick up art as a hobby to distract himself and it works. bro is just surviving out there. also gave him comfy clothes to make the surviving easier, down to the shoes and wide, id assume non-denim pants - maybe cotton? maybe sweatpants that dont fit around the ankle? who knows.
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tiphereth!! since she's like the teen girl of the group i gave her a skater dress, converse, and a tied coat around her waist.. like how i used to wear as a teen when i was being a hater and recovering from a death in the family that changed my entire life (im still a teen ... 9 more days till im 20 as of posting this). also gave her fishnets i think she would like that. i imagine she would get headaches bc of those dumb braids on her head<3 or maybe bc her coworkers are kinda dumb<3
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gebura :) round face, reverse triangle shaped body.. like a true butch lesbian stereotype.. i decided a leather jacket, docs and pants i see metalheads wear would fit her! red leather jacket, of course. also gave her spiky hair just like projmoon did<3 my favorite detail here are the eyebrows, i think their shape is rlly neat! nvm i think its just that gebura is rlly neat. anyways the eyebrows fit her
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chesed my boy.. idk i just saw him and hit him with the transmasc beam and gave him , as the kids say, wh0re eyes. i wanted him to have rounder hips and just be round in general. turtleneck and cardigan combo also, i think he would like wearing that. also somewhat curlier hair, or at least wavy would do him well! and a tote bag, i dont doubt that he would go out to read in coffee shops if he could - so he gets a tote bag to carry his sociology books. i want him to look like he would give the warmest, comfiest hugs and be friend shaped
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binah!! this one was the most challenging, trying to find the right place for the colors - to not use too little or too much yellow. i still dont think i got it right but this is as close as im getting. long face, long nose, siren-ish eyes.. messed up in the head bird lady that speaks like hannibal! i also dont think a dress really suits her so i opted for wide pants and a fancy black button up .. maybe angela styled her, who knows. also black fingertips which is a trait i like to give the arbiters (including an oc).. just my own little consistency thing i like to do :)
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hi grandpa! ok for hokma i dont think the changes are that big? i gave him O shaped legs and his sword thing i turned into a walking cane, gave him a vest (didnt want to opt for a corset but i think he would enjoy the back support for proper posture) . also gave him a mild gradient from darker gray to lighter gray, since he IS the gray part of the ABC trio. gave him salt and pepper hair and an older face. forgot to draw it, but i wanted to give him a silicone tip for the sword so it doesnt dull out, which he can take off when recieving guests
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honorary mention to go along with the angelica i mentioned with roland, i mildly changed up her twin(k) brother. i gave argalia and angie the same hair but mirrored, his a bit more curly and hers a bit more spikey, his face a bit more edgy, hers a bit rounder and kinder. not much else to say here, i liked his design as is, but wanted to add him here :)
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leviafin · 3 months ago
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Society and being Other
This was going to be a reblog of another post, but it got long and offtopic so it can have its own post now.
I don't hate or even dislike humans, and I don't think I fear them as a whole as much as I fear people or society as a whole. I partially identify as human--well, I used to be one? Still kind of am? Complicated, and not really the point. But I think an important thing to recognise is that any species has the capability to do harm. Keeping that in mind definitely keeps me away from misanthropic mindsets--something I'm very keen to avoid falling into the habit of. It kind of keeps me grounded, in a way. If we lived in an elven society, or a strictly alterhuman society, it might still be the same--or there'd be some other niche thing society hates and the cycle would likely repeat. I'm not above anyone for being nonhuman, there's just a different perspective around being in the minority.
But I think there's something to be said about the fear of being outside societal norm and still having to live in a society you cannot trust. See, people of all species tend to have a lean toward being scared or distrustful of things they don't understand. This isn't true all the time, but if you introduce something new and foriegn to any creature, they'd be right to be a bit wary in case it's a threat. People of all kinds can be much the same, and in some cases it can lead to... less than kind actions. And me? Well, in both of my sources I'm a human-turned-monster that people didn't really like the concept of, so lets just say that I'm very used to society and its treatment of those who are "other".
But now I'm here, in a human body again. I look human, act mostly human, but I'm still so many things that society just Does Not Like. I'm queer, I'm internally nonhuman, I'm a member of a system, and I'm disabled. It's why I love the label "alterhuman", it's a coverall for lots of little things and groups that might not have much of a voice if not united.
But the fear is absolutely there, despite having community online. The knowledge that I am different to most of those around me. The feeling that even if there were another nonhuman amongst those around me, they would likely slip under the radar to me as much as I would to them--we're both likely hiding ourselves more than we'd like to. It's being lonely with people who understand you sitting in the same room, never speaking to each other. The idea that not only am I visibly "other" in a sense of looking trans and using mobility aids, but I'm even more "other" than most would realise--and we already deal with enough for what is visible. The knowledge that some people really, really do not like those who are different. It is scary to think about.
But.. I've kind of decided to take the route of being open anyway. Personal decision that may or may not be a bit stupid, but it's my choice in the end. Feeling trapped gets better if you open yourself up in safer spaces and break down your own walls that are keeping you in. I've met IRL nonhumans because of this, who we wouldn't have known are nonhuman otherwise. It's a struggle sometimes of course, but it's working for us to some degree. A little bit of unmasking here and there, and then sometimes those others around you can look at you and go "you're like me", and that's incredibly valuable to us.
This turned into more of a rant than I intended, but... Yeah. Hopefully my point is clear, hah. It's lonely out there, and sometimes it takes a lot to make the right connections and end up in the right spaces. But it is possible to feel at least a little bit safer, given the right time and place. If people are scared of me or if they cringe or anything else, it's not my problem. I'm not here for them.
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mykuup · 1 month ago
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Of bone and bloom - Cryptid!Eddie Munson AU Part 8
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Moodboard + summary + Serie Masterlist
My masterlist
Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9
Summary : The night before was pure bliss and you've never felt somthing better than to fall asleep in Eddie's lap. But now the sun is rising.
wc : 1,1k
Warnings : monster romance // fluff // smut // MDNI // unprotected piv (wrap it irl guys) // mention of injuries // mention of blood // size gap // no mention of y/n // porn with plot // afab reader (but no description)
A/n : Hellooooo, sorry I posted this chapter a bit late. Please feel free to leave a comment/like/reblog, at least to show some love to @saphirmoraitie. She's doing an amazing job at helping me writing all of this. Thank you for that babe 💜
Taglist : @jasminelafleur @maedesculpaeusoubi @sassidykassidy
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The morning after
The first light of dawn crept through the trees, casting a soft, golden glow over the village. The day promised a crisp, clear morning, but it was an illusion of peace for the villagers. The reality was far more unsettling. The village slowly stirred to life, fully aware of the tumultuous events of the night before.
Your father woke up exhausted from the little sleep he’d managed. After chasing the evil creature deep into the woods, his men lost its tracks. Unable to track it further, they returned to the village. But when your father came to check on you, you were gone. Anger and fear gripped him, how could you have disobeyed him?
The fog that lingered in the middle of the night still hung low in the early morning, a chill in the air making your father shiver. Outside your little cottage, a few villagers gathered around the remains of a campfire, embers dying but still sending a bit of heat. The soft murmur of voices, and the clatter of morning chores slowly filled the air.
With heavy steps, your father walked to the lookout cabin and asked the men to call for you, praying you would come back home as soon as possible.
You hum lightly as you wake up. The air was cold, but as you slowly opened your eyes, you realized you are covered with large leaves and water lilies. Reaching for the patch of fur you remembered lying beside, all you felt was damp moss. Suddenly your eyes flew open, and you gasped as you sat up. Fear sized you as your mind raced with every scenario possible. Did he just leave you there? Was he running away from hunters? They captured him to bring him back to the village. Or worse…
No. You couldn’t believe it. You refused to believe it.
But even as you tried to rationalize, tears began streaming down your face, your cheeks burning with the sting of them. Panic overtook you, making you shudder uncontrollably. You couldn’t hold your sobs, hands nervously tangled in your hair in desperation. You weren’t sure how long you cried.
They had found him.
They had killed the beast from the woods.
Your breath was still shaky as you sat on the mossy ground, your hands trembling in your lap. The morning air was crisp, but the fear in your heart was colder. You had awoken alone, surrounded by the eerie stillness of the forest, and the hollow ache where Eddie should have been gnawed at you. Your thoughts spiraled into dark places, visions of hunters capturing him, his life slipping away somewhere in the forest, far beyond your reach.
But then, as you sat there, struggling to steady your breathing, you heard the soft rustle of leaves nearby. Your heart leaped in your chest, torn between hope and dread. You turned sharply, eyes wide, and there he was. Eddie emerged from the shadows of the forest, his tall, imposing figure unmistakable.
He was soaked, water droplets glistening on his fur and dripping from the antlers that crowned his head. In his massive, clawed hands, he held something surprisingly delicate : a small bouquet of wildflowers, their vivid colors stark against his dark form.
You stared at him, your heart pounding. Relief and confusion warred within you, but the sight of him standing there, alive and seemingly unharmed, overwhelmed everything else.
Eddie tilted his head slightly as he approached, his deep, growling voice rumbling softly. “You’re trembling,” he noted, a hint of concern in his otherwise curious tone. He knelt in front of you, his presence grounding you in a way nothing else could.
At first, you couldn’t speak. Your throat was tight, tears still threatening to spill over.  Instinctively, you reached out, your hand brushing his damp fur, needing to feel him, to know he was real. He was warm, solid—alive.
“I thought—” Your voice cracked, the words catching in your throat. “I thought they’d found you. That you were gone.”
Eddie’s dark, deep eyes softened as understanding dawned. He hadn’t realized you would wake to his absence or hadn’t anticipated the fear it would bring you. He leaned closer, the weight of his presence comforting, his voice low and soothing. “I only went to the river,” he said gently. “The water helps with the pain.”
You exhaled a shaky breath, your fingers clutching at the fur on his arm. A wave of relief washed over you, but the remnants of fear still clung to your heart. “I woke up, and you weren’t here. I thought… I thought I’d lost you.”
Eddie’s massive hand, careful and deliberate, reached out to cup your cheek. His touch was gentle, his claws barely grazing your skin. “I’m here,” he reassured you, his voice a deep, soothing rumble. “I’m not leaving you.”
He held out the small bouquet of wildflowers, their delicate petals bright in contrast to his formidable frame. “I found these, and I thought of you,” he simply said, as if the gesture needed no further explanation.
Your heart swelled at the sight, your fear beginning to ebb away. You took the wildflower bouquet from him, your fingers brushing against his claws. They were simple, unassuming blooms, but to you, they were beautiful—a symbol of his care, his thoughtfulness in ways you hadn’t expected.
A soft smile tugged at your lips as you looked up at him. “Thank you,” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. You reached up, gently kissing the hand that still cupped your cheek.
Eddie watched you intently, his gaze unwavering. Though he didn’t fully grasp the depth of your fear, he recognized the vulnerability in your eyes and the need for reassurance. He pressed his forehead gently to yours, the bone of the deer skull cool against your skin, a comforting weight that made you feel safe.
“Nothing will harm you while I’m here,” Eddie murmured, his voice a quiet promise. “And I will always come back to you.”
You nodded, sighing as your tears finally dried. Leaning into him, you found solace in his presence. The world outside the forest, with all its dangers and uncertainties, seemed distant, and insignificant compared to this moment.
Both of you sat quietly in the woods, the wildflowers resting in your lap as you held onto Eddie, your bond deepening with each passing second. The fear that had gripped you so tightly began to melt away, replaced by a deeper understanding that you would face whatever came next together—two souls intertwined, no matter what the world thought or how it might try to keep you apart.
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avelera · 8 months ago
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I've been talking with a few people irl about the TikTok ban and I was wondering if I could get your take on it? (iirc you work in election security). Mainly I'd like to know why TikTok/China is *uniquely* bad wrt dating mining/potential election interference when we've seen other companies/governments do the same thing (thinking of the Russian psyops here on Tumblr in 2016). It feels like the scope is so narrow that it doesn't come close to targeting the root problem (user privacy and data mining as a whole), leading me to think it's only point is "ooh China Scary". Thoughts? (No worries if you'd rather not get into it, I just thought of you as someone who might have more insight/informed opinions on the matter).
So I'm not really familiar with all the details of the case and certainly not all the details of the bill. But I will give my perspective:
TikTok as a particular threat to users' data and privacy has been known for some time in the cybersecurity world. US government employees and contractors have been straight-up forbidden to have it on their phones for some time now. I, for example, have never had it on my phone because of these security concerns. (Worth noting, I'm not a government employee or contractor, it was just a known-to-be dangerous app in the cybersecurity world so I avoided it.)
This is because the parent company, as I understand, has known connections to the Chinese government that have been exploited in the past. For example, to target journalists.
Worth noting, another app that would potentially be on the chopping block is WeChat, which also has close ties to (or is outright owned by?) the Chinese government. This is just speculation on my part but it's based on the fact that all the concerns around TikTok are there for WeChat too and it has also been banned on government devices in some states, so I imagine it would be next if the bill passes.
I think this is important to note because I've seen some hot takes here on Tumblr have said that the entire case against TikTok is made up and there is no security threat. That is simply not true. The concerns have been there for a while.
However, the question of what to do about it is a thorny one.
The determination seems to be that so long as TikTok is still owned by its parent company with its direct ties to the Chinese government, there really is no way to guarantee that it's safe to use. From that angle, demanding that the company sever ties and set up some form of local ownership makes sense.
I am not a lawyer, but, that being said, forcing them to sell their local operations to a locally-based buyer is a pretty invasive and unusual step for legislators to take against a private company, even in a clear case of spying. I'm sure TikTok's widespread popularity is a big part of the threat it poses, which lends to the argument used to justify such an extreme step. (Because it is on so many phones, it really could be a danger to national security.)
That said, at one point young activists on TikTok embarrassed Trump (lots of good context in this article) while he was campaigning in 2020, and there was some talk then about shutting it down which seemed pretty clearly linked to how it was used as a platform to organize against him. I'm sure there's at least some right wing antipathy towards the app that has a political basis going back to this event. Trump signed an executive order banning it, the ban going into effect got bogged down in the courts, and then Biden rescinded that executive order when he got into office, pending an investigation into the threat it posed.
Those investigations seem to have further confirmed that the Chinese government is getting access to US user data through the app, and further confirmed it as a security threat.
Now, to muddy the waters further, there's several dodgy investment funds including one owned by former Secretary of the Treasury to Trump Steven Mnuchin that are circling with an interest to buy TikTok if it does sell. That's very concerning.
Funds like Mnuchin's interest in purchasing TikTok (even though they do invest in other technologies too, so it is in their portfolio) definitely makes the motivations behind the sale look pretty damning as momentum builds, that it could be some sort of money grab here in the US.
China has also pointed out that forcing the sale of a company because of spying concerns like this opens a whole can of worms. If China thinks that, say, Microsoft is spying on their citizens, could they force the US company to sell its operations in China to a Chinese investor? Could they force Google? Could they even further polarize the internet in general between "free" and "not free" (as in, behind the great Chinese or Russian firewall, as examples) if this precedent is set, so that no Western companies can operate in authoritarian states without selling their local operations there to a government-controlled organization, and thus be unable protect their users there? Or, if you don't have so rosy a view of Western companies, could it effectively deal a blow to international trade in general by saying you have to have to sell any overseas arms of a company to someone who is from there? Again, I'm not a lawyer, but this is a hell of a can of worms to open.
But again, this is muddy because China absolutely is spying on TikTok users. The security reason for all of this is real. What to do about it is the really muddled part that has a ton of consequences, and from that angle I agree with people who are against this bill. Tons of bad faith consequences could come out of it. But the concerns kicking off the bill are real.
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velvetvexations · 8 days ago
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Ive seen at least two responses to your antigonism post saying that the word would be divisive because “transfems who are normal about transmascs are the norm” and I really truly do believe that’s probably the case but at the same time it personally feels a little dismissive?? I cant speak for all trans people obviously but I know A LOT of trans people, basically everyone in my life is trans- my blood sibling, all of my friends, my 2 girlfriends (im poly) I am regularly in contact with other trans people/trans communities in several cities across my state, and for me it really does not feel like its a “small vocal minority” of transfems who hold anti transmasculine and exorsexist beliefs.
I want to make it clear I absolutely love the transfems in my community, they are my dearest friends, and I deeply treasure our relationships; but absolutely every one of them that I have gotten close to has ended up saying something to me that made me feel really weird. They either mention something about how transmascs have it easier/transfems have it the worst, or they feel the need to gatekeep things from other trans people& borderline accuse other trans people/intersex people of copying transfems, or they joke and complain about “theyfabs” or justify the use of the term (both of my gfs did this- mind you I was afab and exclusively use they/them pronouns), or they invalidate feminine transmasc and afab enby people (again something both of my gfs did despite me being genderfluid and sometimes presenting feminine).
And thats just some of the things Ive experienced IRL in my own home and within my own communities! If I were to start listing my experiences online Id be here all night!! I honestly want to go on about the shit I see online but I dont have the energy for it- but when I see exorsexist or anti trans masculinity coming from transfems (and self proclaimed tmes) online, the comments/notes/whatever is always filled with sometimes hundreds of other trans people agreeing and venting their own frustrations about “tmes” and it just. Again doesnt FEEL like its a minority. You are literally one of the only TWO transfems I know who makes content actively CONSISTENTLY standing up for transmascs and pushing back against anti trans masculinity. Its not that I think its transfems job to dismantle anti trans masculinity but the ratio of transfems who complain about tmes vs ones who actively push back against that rhetoric feels so disproportionate to how often I see transmasc and afab enbies pushback against trans misogyny and the exclusion of transfems in queer spaces.
This turned into a very long winded vent and Im kinda struggling to conclude my point but i guess I wish it felt like more people cared to pushback against TIRFism. It just feels kinda dismissive to hear people say that transmascs who are hesitant to interact w trans communities just need to touch grass or whatever when in my personal experience it feels like I cannot escape anti trasmasculinity or exorsexism in every trans space I am apart of. Kinda blanking on how to end this ask i hope any of this is coherent.
I wanna emphasize again that the person I responded to specifically was really cool and my emotions in this post are not directed at them
Recently someone said it was "easy to forget most trans women are normal about trans men," and I was scolded because me not thinking that was horribly transmisogynistic was apparently a sign I'd lowered my standards as a trans woman because I'm too discourse poisoned, so now I'm even more self-conscious that people will start to see me that way no matter how much I try to insist over and over that TRFs are a vocal minority.
Meanwhile I continue to get asks calling me a pickme and comparing me to Blair White. I continue to have ten people respond to my every reply going "don't listen to Velvet she's crazy and hates trans women!!!!!".
So yeah. It is, actually, easy to forget that sometimes.
Especially since I'm stuck in a tiny southern town without even the option to make use of what meager community exists in the area because there's no one to drive me several hours to the state capital for their annual Pride stuff. I can't just go outside and be gal pals with all the vast numberless hordes of Normal trans women. I would be shocked beyond fucking belief if I saw two gay cis men in my fucking zip code. With my personal situation I can't even be social with cishet people anyway, let alone other queers, let alone all the trans women others perceive as Normal because they've knowingly been in the physical presence of another trans person a single time in their life and have the option of making that happen when they want it to.
Thank you for the support, anon.
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reorientation · 5 months ago
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zyn anon. sorry to spam your dms, i just have some updates i can't really share elsewhere lmao. only one of my irls know im fucking this boy but she doesn't know it was for nicotine pouches lmao
im not even "exchanging" my "services" for zyns anymore. i didn't like them at all, but id still occasionally ask for a tin or two here and there. to not let it get to his head ☺️. a month and a half later im just doing it for free 😒 he makes jokes now that im not even fucking him for product. and jokes that he got me addicted to him instead. so you were right about me becoming a budding addict for a straight mans cock.
we never had a convo about us being official, but he made it clear early on that he wants to be the only guy fucking me rn. i asked if he sleeps around with other girls, and he said he doesnt need to when im so eager for him. :/. he calls me his girlfriend in front of his roommate and gamer friends, too. but not to people we know mutually.
he's also a lot more affectionate now. we've been on an actual date, it was surprisingly romantic and really sweet, and not just me blowing him in his car. though I did after but that's not the point.
i pretty much dress exclusively femininely outside of our programs unisex uniform, i used run errands in boymode but im not even doing that anymore. i have a chosen name that can be shortened into something kinda feminine sounding so he just calls me that. even in front of classmates who dont know i have a pussy, and one that hes been inside of. and the "nickname" is catching on with our classmates too lol.
z anon. forgot to include the update. sorry, i ramble a lot.
i skipped my last two T shots ☺️ im still waiting on my iud appointment in a few weeks. unfortunately this also means i havent really been letting him inside me as often, since im still really scared of pregnancy especially this early on in this weird situation. i am blowing him a lot though lol. it's a win win for me since being on my knees for him with his cock down my throat is so damn hot, especially when he's kinda fucking my face and pulls my hair during it. but fuck its probably been at least a week since his cocks been in me and i miss it. a lot lol. hes so manly and strong, i miss how feminine i feel when im under him. his body would just inadvertently pin me in place, im painfully aware of how small and feminine i am in comparison to him. how truly heterosexual it all is.
but i cannot trust myself bro like i know even if i insist on him using a condom ill end up asking for him to take it off. if he doesnt outright refuse. and like it's so difficult because that turns me on more. i know ill end up having his dick in me sometime before I get my iud, i just gotta be responsible and power through the demons.
im still dysphoric through this situation, especially since stopping T and the fear of like. the few times hes cum in me before havimg a little more serious consequences. despite taking plan b after each time. but the horny part of my brain has never been happier. whenever i feel like backing out, i send him nudes or text him smth risky just for extra self encouragement. but he's on a camping vacation thing rn with his family, and the service is shit and i miss him 🥺 even outside of sex.
like I want to become his girlfriend, truly. and that would have me become a girl for him. which basically means becoming a girl fulltime. i guess that would actually just be going back to being a girl. all for a straight boy 🤦🏻
its hugely dysphoric but kinda nice, like a part of me hates how he's so much bigger and way more masculine than me without any effort, even outside of us having heterosexual sex. i get so dysphoric that he's taller, bigger, way stronger and just so clearly male. but apparently, i enjoy being a girl for him more than i hate it.
(Previously)
You know, Anon, this is awfully romantic.
I mean, listen to yourself. You got into this as a whore, offering to suck his dick for discounted nicotine pouches, but now you're pining over him, and wanting to be a proper girl so that you can be his girlfriend. You're definitely still a whore, but you're a whore with a heart of gold.
Not a smart whore, though. So scared of pregnancy, but you stopped your T before getting on real birth control, knowing that you can't stop yourself from begging for his bare cock. You're so desperate to be a good girl for him that you're consciously ramping up the risk of having his baby, just so that you can return to full femininity a little sooner.
You know, I got this anon after your last ask:
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They're not quite right, in that this first update doesn't include a pregnancy announcement. But it's been a bit since you sent me this, and reading what you sent me, it's not hard to imagine you having already gotten started on the path to being a cute little baby mama to your straight boyfriend.
But even if you haven't... You're never going to be able to forget what this was like, will you? Losing your virginity to a straight man, and so easily losing your identity with it. Being pinned down by him with your legs spread and his bare cock in your pussy. The simple force of a man on top of you, and how simple it was to slip back into womanhood and welcome him in.
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